#I went to middle school with one of the guys in the chainsmokers lmao he lent me his AFI cd

[rigginsstreet]

I am intrigued by this ex of Billy's 👀

ok so what ive got right now is

name is damien (last name? who can say really. and honestly first name could change if i think of something better)

from new zealand bc kj’s real accent is far superior to his american one. but i also realizing its funny for billys first boyfriend to have exchanged from somewhere else and then billy goes and does the same and meets steve...

but then on the other hand im thinking he probably moved to cali at a younger age (maybe middle school?) and maybe he and billy didnt even meet at school. i like the idea of them meeting at like a beach bonfire or something. californias big. im sure whatever city billy is from (i tend to default with san diego but anywhere in southern cali really) is big so like... plausible they didnt go to the same school but still ran into each other

HES THE ONE WHO GAVE BILLY THE SILVER RING HE ALWAYS WEARS!!!! very important to me

covered in tattoos. very much into the rock n roll scene (not strictly metal. tho he and billy went on many a date to metal shows) (kjs got a van halen tattoo... absolutely staying in this timeline)

very much a sweetie pie. billy is attracted to nice guys i will not be taking criticism. wants the exact opposite of neil. loves a hottie whos a total dork and treats him right

i think his familys like... upper middle class. not super rich or anything but enough to be comfortable. want for him to present him in a certain way (think very much steves preppy style) but he rebels with all these tattoos and chainsmoking and his loud music (OH! absolutely a musician since kjs in a band lmao this is not even a character anymore this man is just kj apa. im fine with that whomst is gonna complain)

and yeah thats basically all i got right now. this is the mood this is the vibe. oh! and maybe he can also be a jock... as a treat. part of me wants to make billy a football player so bad. i mean he can do multiple sports. he got to hawkins too late to join football so he went to basketball cuz he did that too. but maybe he and his cali boyfriend were on rivaling football teams. thats hot

[defunctblogtobedeleted]

8/26/17, 5:21pm - Some Kinda Closure pt 2

So Tessa and the fam had called me the week before telling me news that Tessa was going to go to France for a few months in september. I decided that I needed to spend some time with her before she left, so from bojangles I drove up to virginia to hang out with the fam. It was really nice getting to connect with all of them, I fucking love my family more than anything.

Tessa and I talked to dad a long time about all his crazy stories. about how him and his brother hate each other. about all the shit he used to do before he got in trouble. We were talking about exes and he mentioned he kinda wishes he hadn’t broken things off with his high school girlfriend, who was 14 when he was 18. I was like hm. Maybe tato was wrong lmfao. But then they both started ragging on kailey for how she was a little derpy. I still defended how I loved her derpiness, but having tessa say she felt like kailey didn’t really like her at all kinda helped too. Moving on pt 3.  But basically me and dad chainsmoked a bunch of cigs, and we shot the shit about nothing and everything for hours. It was a great ass way to spend the afternoon.

and trusten showed me some good new music, and I got to see all his art that he’s been working on, it’s all really fucking cool. He was telling me about the catharsis of splatter painting and I think that’s amazing and kinda wanna try it.

Like I said, tessa wanted to go to richmond to see me play. But we ended up hanging with cullen instead, who had had a friend pass away and needed some company. I really only wanted to go to the tourney to see redd anyway, I didn’t wanna waste all that time at a tournament with no friends when I had people I love to see. Got to spend a few hours with tony, smoking, watching the new rick and morty, talking to him and carlynn. Actually it’s weird I get in this high state and not know what to fucking talk about when I see him, I’m just so comfortable lmao. It’s really great to still be such good friends that I can show up in the middle of the week any random time and we can just chill like it’s not a big thing. Love that guy. For the record though him and carlynn moving in seems a little risky, she seems a little young and hassling to him the same way kailey was to me. Maybe they’ll make it work better, who knows. But I didn’t really admire him for being in a relationship with a nice young cutey who cared about him. Moving on pt4 lmao.

I think that night was when I hung out with hunter after everyone went to bed, always good to chill with him, too.

Bro’d out with cullen red her roommate and tessa til like 5 in the morning. Had this splitting fucking headache, not sure if it was all the nicotine fighting the adderall but I felt fucked. Like squeezing my temples headache. But all the same it felt wonderful broing out with them like old times. Really did feel like nothing changed. OMFG I came up with this new in joke with her. I was razzing her for her feminist ideals, and I was saying how I would do it better one day. Fifth Wave Feminism, I said. Not this next wave, but the one after that, was all gonna be True equality, hinged on the elimination of puritanical ideals from sex culture in America. Men and women alike would have all the sex they wanted without being shamed for it, and also gun rights are cool. Lmao random shit like her roommate (kat) was complaining about how lacrosse sticks for women were shittier with shallower nets and stuff. And I was like BOOM fifth wave we’re gonna fix that. She got a huge kick out of it, Cullen was trolled as fuck lmao. 

But that shit’s the truth. Fifth wave. I’m gonna make it a thing.

Weds I woke up kinda almost hungover, a little just tired. We made our way back to rappahannock, listened to a few tracks off the new kesha album (godzilla made us both laugh but we were like wtf), got back and I passed the fuck out. Woke up in the evening, had dinner with the fam, played risk with my brothers before they had to go to bed, said goodbye to everyone and loaded up my stuff (packed light, just some clothes lmao). Before I left I talked with my mom a while about not much. Downloaded the new kesha album and jammed the fuck out to it all the way home. The whole uplifting and moving on vibe it gave really was kind of ironic, since Kesha was one of those things that me and kailey were always on the same page about. Every once in a while I’m curious if she’s listened to it, but I don’t want to text her and it be weird just for her to say something like “oh yeah I haven’t cared enough to listen” and have it be like when she asked me about Shokugeki No Soma.

So tl;dr, moving on. We’re just strangers, and I’m pretty cool with that. Took about a year from moving out of the place we had together but it feels fucking good man. 

[justventingjustventing-blog]

#139 TALK ABOUT

1:Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie.

My grandma told me about it, she said she read about it in a magazine about how it’s kinda weird but alright. We watched it on Christmas that year. And then I watched it again that night and then the next day. Donnie Darko- best movie ever. 

2:Talk about your first kiss.

 I broke up with my boyfriend after a football game when me, him, and one of our friends was walking home (we all lived in the same area) then me and the friend that was with me ran away because my now ex was following us. we went to the dollar store and got a helium balloon and went into the ally across the street. Sucked the shit out of the balloon and then made out. 

3:Talk about the person you’ve had the most intense romantic feelings for.

My husband. He is so amazingly perfect I literally can not describe my feelings for him. It’s like not a physical thing because we almost never are together but when we are it is like eating a new amazing candy for the first time. 

4:Talk about the thing you regret most so far.

Being a bitch and not being productive. Also the dumb tattoos I game myself when I was 14. 

5:Talk about the best birthday you’ve had.

19th so far. 

6:Talk about the worst birthday you’ve had.

probably when I turned like 16. 

7:Talk about your biggest insecurity.

My humor, because I find myself hilarious all the time but no one else really seems to. Except my husband and my bestie. They totally get me. 

8:Talk about the thing you are most proud of.

Husband and my dog and my sister. They all pretty iight. 

9:Talk about little things on your body that you like the most.

The freckle on my and and the very faint freckle on my mouth. No one ever notices them and it reminds me that no one can know me better than I know myself. Even if I have no idea who I am. 

10:Talk about the biggest fight you’ve ever had.

My sister swung a pig bat at me and then threatened me with scissors and cooking knives. 

11:Talk about the best dream you’ve ever had.

I was having a bad dream but them I realized i was dreaming do I just quit having the bad dream. 

12:Talk about the worst dream you’ve ever had.

The ones where my stomach drops and wakes me up. 

13:Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time.

Backstory: I used to give this guy... lets call him R... bjs a lot ok. So one day i was just walking home and lets call him T comes up to me and is like “i heard you give R bjs” and I was like fuck yeah i do and then we went to T’s house and did it. It was the least romantic thing on the planet. Like I didn’t even associate with T what so ever, I hung out with his brother J but thats it. But afterwards I was getting my shit and about to leave and he goes “did you leave anything?” and I was like nope and he was like “you sure you didnt loose anything?” and I was like nope and he was like “not even your virginity?” and i was like fuck you lmao 

14:Talk about a vacation.

I dont really feel like doing this one 

15:Talk about the time you were most content in life.

Right now. 

16:Talk about the best party you’ve ever been to.

Well it’s not one specific party, but back in 2012 my friend group had this party house, on of their moms was renting it but she got a boyfriend so she never stayed there. amazing summer. 

17:Talk about someone you want to be friends with.

I want to be friends with someone who can completely relate to me. I know there are hundreds of other women going through the same exact thing I am going through, just not in my town or near where I live. 

18:Talk about something that happened in elementary school.

I pooped my pants a little once. Typical story, thought it was a fart... it wasnt. Also once during show and tell I brought a stuffed bird and some little fuck threw up on it. 

19:Talk about something that happened in middle school.

I hit puberty and shaved my eyebrows. 

20:Talk about something that happened in high school.

I did a lot of drugs, got in a terrible relationship, got out of that relationship, found my mellow point and found the love of my life. 

21:Talk about a time you had to turn someone down.

when he just too ugly boo. I would say because im married but literally noone has hit on be since he put a ring on it so fuck ya

22:Talk about your worst fear. 

I dont know what my worst fear is. a lot of things scare me 

23:Talk about a time someone turned you down.

Like that would ever happen psh.

24:Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot.

My husband telling me he loves me. 

25:Talk about an ex-best friend.

Shes a fucking juvenile delinquent but damn did we have fun

26:Talk about things you do when you’re sick.

sleep. complain about being sick.

27:Talk about your favorite part of someone else’s body.

My husbands cheek bones and his sholders.

28:Talk about your fetishes.

penis

29:Talk about what turns you on.

penis

30:Talk about what turns you off.

bad penis

31:Talk about what you think death is like.

i have no idea 

32:Talk about a place you remember from your childhood.

not being sad

33:Talk about what you do when you are sad.

cry and things like this until i get bored

34:Talk about the worst physical pain you’ve endured.

probably anal sex for the first time

35:Talk about things you wish you could stop doing.

smoking. being nervous about things. feeling sad. 

36:Talk about your guilty pleasures.

facebook and playing with my doggo

37:Talk about someone you thought you were in love with.

my ex. fucking asshole 

38:Talk about songs that remind you of certain people.

Ride by TOP - reminds me of one of my besties riding around on back roads hanging out the sunroof 

what does the fox say - reminds me of this annoying chick i used to hang out with. she had a fangirl crush on one of the singers. 

so many songs remind me of my husband so im not even gonna say them all but “Dancing in the Dark” is one of the main ones. we did the dance to it once but we just kinda did it. no music. it was fun, but we havent been able to since because we cant remember how to do it correctly lol 

candle in the wind reminds me of my mom because i asked her what her favorite elton john song was once when i was going through and elton john fase

i love rock n roll - reminds me of my sister, she used to listen to that song all the time. Also funky town. we made up a dance to that one. 

You raise me up - reminds me of my grandpa, it was played at his funeral. 

Roses by the chainsmokers reminds me of one of my old friends 

any hollywood undead song reminds me of a friend i had to quit hanging out with

the list is never fucking ending 

fly to the angels by slaughter reminds me of my uncle. he wants it played at his funeral. at least thats what he told my cousin and i when he was drunk one night when we were like 8

the anthem by dropkick murphys reminds me of my dad because he wants it played at his funeral

also my husband wants ..... i cant remember what its called but its a lincoln park song. he wants that played at his funeral 

39:Talk about things you wish you’d known earlier.

What my life was gonna end up like. 

40:Talk about the end of something in your life.

No. I hate things ending. 

I see what you did there you sly shit.