#I watched so many videos on it last night to sate me lol

[dlandofdreams]

Was so desperate for white rabbit candy last night I went to Kinokuniya to buy some today 😭

[silhouetted-beauty]

“Again”

Genre: SMUT... good ole hardcore smut.

Word count: 4,400

A/N: Shhh! @bangtans-baby is sleeping so I gotta secretly get this out there LOL. This story is the sequel to my last story “Bet”; make sure to check out that one if you haven’t. Any who... I dedicate this one shot to my brother-in-law, Dabin. In my other two stories, I know it seems like he just gets the short end of the stick and has zero control in the relationship but that’s not true. @bangtans-baby is a very wild girl and he lets her thinks that she gets away with any and everything but she knows who Zaddy is. Enjoy!

Note: “y/f/n”= “your friend’s name” (in case anyone was wondering^^)

  "You are such a whore!" Your best friend laughed. "I can't believe you did that! And got caught too!" She fell on the floor in laughter, accidentally waking up Lori who gotten up, walked into the bedroom, and leaped up on the bed to sleep in peace. 

"Shut up!" You yelled, tossing a pillow in her direction. "None of it was my fault! Minsik used me to prove a point to Dabin and Dabin allowed it to happen. He was the one who agreed to that stupid bet!"

"What exactly did Dabin say after it happened?"

You thought back to that day...

”I’m very disappointed in you, babygirl. Be really for your punishment when I get home.“ Dabin stated coldly.

At first you were terrified of what he was going to do to you. With Dabin's imagination, he could think of anything. He was the type to invite both Simon and Minsik over and fuck you in front of them or videotape him plowing deep into you while you screamed and begged for him and then send the tape to the every AOMG/H1GHR MUSIC member just so they all knew who you belonged to. Either way, all the punishments you thought of ended with you getting destroyed. Your stomach flipped with excitement even though you should’ve been worried. Just in case Dabin planned on withholding sex from you, you had already made yourself cum twice before your friend arrived. Now you felt sated and ready to deal with whatever Dabin was going to throw in your direction. 

“Aren’t you worried?” She asked nervously.

“What for? Why should I be worried? Dabin isn’t going to do a damn thing.” You bragged.

"I know but still, y/n. First Simon, now Sik-k." She smirked at you. "Who's next on that list?"

You thought it over, looking away in deep thought. “That’s a good question. There are so many.”

Your best friend’s mouth dropped open as she picked up the closes pillow and threw it at you. “You are such a tramp! You should be ashamed of yourself!” She laughed. 

“Me?! What about you and Loco?” You asked in amusement. “Or should I bring up Jungkook?”

“What about them? Christian was present and gave his consent BOTH times.”

“Bottom line is that you still let them fuck you.” You both laugh and joked with each other while still engaging in the pillow fight. It ended a few minutes later when you both became tired. 

“So how was it?” She asked trying to catch her breath.

“Honestly, Minsik was good. The sex was awesome and he’s got quite a nice mouth on him.”

“Mm, tell me about it. I just was to mount and ride that face all night!” She groaned.

“Didn’t you say the same thing about Dumbfoundead?”

“Ahem...” A deep voice cleared their throat.

Both of your attention was turned to the door, only to find Dabin and Christian standing there. The look on their faces told you that they heard the last bit of the conversation was not happy. Lori, who was once resting peacefully, heard the voice of her owner and came running out of the bedroom waiting patiently by his feet.

“Go on, y/f/n. You were saying?” Christian asked her with his eyebrow in the air. She nervously bit her lip unable to say the words. “Come on, it seemed like you both were having an interesting conversation.”

“We were just talking about what happened between y/n and Minsik.”

“And what does that situation have to do with you?” Christian continued but she struggled with her answer.

“... nothing.”

“Your damn right! Now get your ass up so we can go home. Don’t make me punish you as well.” 

You watched as your best friend gathered all of her belongings and went to the door. She was on her way out when Dabin had addressed her.

“Y/f/n, why don’t you say goodbye to y/n? It’s going to be awhile before she can have company again.” He stated coldly. Your eyes locked with hers. You both were hesitant to say something but she spoke up hearing Christian shift behind her.

“Bye y/n. Call me when you can.”

The three of them left and Dabin shut and locked the door. You stared at him as he brought his luggage further into the apartment. He soon stopped, turning his body to face you and crossing his arms. His eyes were trained on you while his nose lightly flared as he took breaths. You knew you were in trouble, not only for had happened, but also for the conversation you and your friend just had. You tried to put on the good girl act and pretended as though none of it happened. Maybe then, Dabin would forgive you and forget about the punishment.

“How was the trip, baby?” You asked. One of his eyebrows raised in the air as his mouth remain in a straight line. Did you really think you could just get off by just sweet talking him? You knew you were trying your luck with him but you weren’t one to give up. “Well did you at least have fun?”

“Yeah, I had fun,” he started. “That is, until I received a video call from Minsik.”

You swallowed hard, sensing his mood darkening. So much for trying to win him over. With nothing standing in his way, you knew your punishment had officially begun.

“Stand up.” He ordered. His tone was short and cold, letting you know that he was not in the mood for any nonsense. For a second, a part of you wanted to be defiant but you knew it would just cause deeper problems. “Stand up and undress.”

You did what he said, never once breaking eye contact with him although you could sense that he was daring you to. Dabin was waiting for you to make one comment or step out of line so he could add to your punishment. But you weren’t going to give him the satisfaction. You were going to let him have his control and once he has tired himself out, you were going to ride him until he begged for your forgiveness. Once you’d shed yourself of all your clothing, you waited for further instructions.

“From this moment on, you’re not allowed to wear clothes until I say so. Now go in the bedroom and get on the bed. Face up.”

You walked into your shared bedroom and climbed onto the large mattress, lying on your back in the center of the bed. Dabin followed you inside, walking directly to the closet. You watched as he pulled out a fairly large black box and brought it to the end of the bed. He opens the lid and pulls out four thick black strips to which you knew what they were for. One bound both of your wrists together, above your head and to the headboard. The other two bound each of your ankles the legs of the bed leaving you spread wide for his gaze and movements. Dabin moved to the head of the bed where your head laid. He brought the last strip of cloth to your face to cover your eyes rendering you of your sight. With two of your key senses gone, you had to rely on sound to figure out what he was going to do next. 

You felt him move away from you and with Dabin not saying a word, you wondered where he was. The room became silent and a part of you thought that he tied you up and left you there. You were beginning to get pissed until you felt a shift at the end of the bed followed by more movement. Dabin situated himself between your legs. He had spent ten minutes staring at your beautiful naked body. The way your chest rose and fell and how you licked and bit your lips due to nervousness. Too bad it would be covered in a few marks when he was finished with you. 

Dabin reached up and traced his finger softly down your body from your forehead to your ass cheek. His finger slowly traveled up your ass, between your pussy lips, and stopping at your clit. Smirking, Dabin torturously circled your clit with his thumb. You released a small gasp at his actions. 

“You know, y/n... your clit seems rather enlarged, don’t you think so?” He asked but you remained quiet. “You wouldn’t have been a bad girl and touched yourself after I told you not to, did you?”

You shook your head. “No daddy. I’ve been a good girl.” You lied, swallowing hard, trying to keep your nerves in order. But you knew he saw through it... he always did. 

“That’s good to hear. Then I guess you shouldn’t mind when I do this.”

Dabin’s mouth latched on to your clit and sucked. Already he could feel it pulsating, coming back to life as it tried to escape. Right away, you tried to move and remembered that you were tied up. You were rendered helpless to his ministrations. He opened his mouth more letting his tongue lick your lips, opening them up to taste more of you. You relaxed against bed and arched your back. His tongue felt amazing and you found yourself slowly rotating your hips to his mouth. Dabin smiled against your flesh. You were really enjoying yourself which was exactly what he wanted. Your lips parted as you released the first of many moans and calls of his name. By now your juices were dripping down your ass and onto the bed. He rubbed his index and middle finger up and down your pussy gathering up the wetness before inserting a finger inside you, followed by the other. He slowly worked up a rhythm to fuck you to.

“Shit, daddy... that feels so good.”

Dabin licked his lips listening to your sweet voice moan for him. He leaned forward to suck and lick your clit again. His tongue flicked and roughly rubbed against the nub, feeling it grow. With his fingers plunging in and out of you with increasing speed, you felt yourself getting closer to your orgasm but Dabin was far from done with you. Still noticing how wet you were, he used your moisture to ease his ring finger inside your tight asshole. You released a low groan at the foreign feeling but it only added to your pleasure. Your breath quickened and you bit down hard on your lip, hoping the pain would outweigh your impending orgasm. He was eating you so good that for a split second, you regretted masturbating. You wanted to feel more but you were cumming too quickly for your liking. 

“D-Daddy... I’m gonna cum.” 

Dabin moved away to briefly speak. “Then by all means cum.”

As if by command, your toes curled, your body stilled, and he felt both walls squeeze around his three fingers. Your mouth opened to release a silent cry and your hands held on anything close by. Being tied up made it even worse. You were unable to move about while he could still do whatever he had planned. Dabin help you ride it out by slowly licking your pussy before coming to a stop. He removed his fingers and slowly licked each of them. Leaning forward, he took off your blindfold allowing you to see again. Immediately you blinked your eyes trying to adjust to the light. When your eyes focused, you noticed that his face was still stoic but a small smirk played at his lips. 

Your head fell back in exhaustion. “Thank you for allowing me to cum, daddy.”

Dabin didn’t say any word. He leaned down and planted kisses on your breast before taking your nipple in his mouth. You felt his tongue play with your diamond piercing before he moved to the other breast. He kissed a path down your stomach before sitting back on his knees.

“Yeah that’s right. You love to cum, don’t you princess?” You nodded, smiling at his words. You loved it when he babied you and figure that he would untie you with your usual innocent act. “Then I’m going to make sure you cum again... and again, and again until you’re tired and can’t cum anymore. Maybe then you will keep your legs closed and I wouldn’t have to worry about losing music and money!”

Your smiled slowly fell at his words and it was then you realized the true nature of his punishment. Feeling yourself panic, you turned and pulled at the binds of cloth, hoping it would give way but it didn’t. Your lips quivered and you knew you in trouble. 

“I’m sorry, daddy. I’m really sorry.”

“We’ll soon find out, won’t we?” He stated reached back into the black box. “I’m sure that in good time, you will be begging for my forgiveness.”

He pulled out a vibrator and your eyes widen. It was the same one that you had used on yourself earlier. Your shock face soon contorted into a frown and you refused to cooperate with him. The only way you were going to speak to him was if he let you go. Dabin also took out at butt plug and figuring that you would now become defiant, he did everything himself. His hands moved under your ass cheeks and lifted your lower half in the air. He moved his face closer and his tongue came out to lick and probe your asshole. You felt yourself getting turned back on and tried to fight it. Feeling you tighten your rear end only made Dabin’s ministrations harder and rougher. He pushed his tongue deep into your anal channel and your body jumped at the feeling, letting out at whine. He made sure that your ass was extremely lubricated seeing how the plug was slightly bigger than the average size. 

You felt his tongue exit and felt the cold toy replace it. He slowly eased it inside you, watching as your ass ate it up until it large part of the toy disappeared and the end of it rested against your rim. You were laid back down on the bed, shifting your hips and you tried to get comfortable with the plug inside you. Dabin watched as your hips moved from side to side and smiled.

“There’s no need for that, princess.” 

He reached for a remote and turned on the butt plug which started to vibrate in your anus. You damn near leaped a foot off the bed from shock. You release a loud cry as the toy carried the vibrations up to your pussy. He lifted the other vibrator in the air so you could see it before turning it on as well. Your heart quickened in your chest. 

“Wait, Dabin!-“ But it was too late. He had the toy pressing against your clit causing you to scream out.

“Dabin? I don’t remember that being my name for you.” He teased.

“D-Dad... Da...” You tried to talk but the words wouldn’t come.

You were moaning uncontrollably as the sounds of each toy drowned out any other noise in the room. You thrashed on the bed, trying to get away. Your fourth orgasm suddenly took you and you thought for a second that your heart were about to explode. It was becoming too much for you to handle. Taking note of the fact that you just came, Dabin's fingers entered your pussy and he could feel how strong vibrations were. Not only that but you were dripping wet. Your walls gripped his fingers as he found your spot, moving against it. You turned your head to the side and bit your arm to keep from losing control. You loudly grunted into your skin, your eyes watering as another orgasm was cumming.

“Shit!... DADDY!” You cried out.

Suddenly, you froze in place and went quiet before your body surrender to another orgasm. It was so strong that Dabin’s finger were forced out of your pussy but his other hand still remained with the vibrator still attached to it. You sobbed from how sensitive your clit was and begged him to remove it. He did but the other one was still lodged up your ass.

“I’m sorry, princess. Daddy doesn’t want to bring you pain, just pleasure.”

“But you’re giving me too much pleasure that it is starting to turn into pain.” You breathed.

“Allow me to kiss it and make it all better.” He stated with another smirk.

Dabin placed light soft kisses to your clit which had gotten even bigger in size. At first you were fidgety but then relax as he continued to kiss you. Your eyes closed and your breathing had returned to normal until you notice that the kisses were longer and with movement of his lips. The tip of his tongue was added and the sweet tender kisses turned to moderate licks to your clit. Before you knew it, Dabin was eating your pussy again. You begin to whine and tried to move away. 

“Fuck! Daddy, I don’t think I can take anymore.”

Dabin didn’t reply. He licked over your lips and clit, occasionally dipping his tongue inside. He didn’t have to do much since the butt plug was doing majority of the work. But it still was enough to get you off because you ended up cumming again. This time he stopped and turned off the vibrations to your ass but still kept the toy inside you. He moved away and you watched as he got off the bed to undress. The moment you saw his hard cock, your stomach dropped. This punishment was probably still far from being over. Dabin was going to fuck the shit out of you and you knew this.

He untied one of your legs and climbed on the bed. Turning your body partially on its side, he held your leg in the air while the other rested in between his legs. He rubbed the tip of his cock against your pussy, opening your lips to wet dick. Knowing how sensitive you were made him take his time. He slowly entered inside of you, giving you his entire length. Your back completely arched in the air, drawing a moan from your lips. You felt so full while Dabin could feel the pressure of the plug against his cock. Once he had adjusted, his hips started slow but gradually increased in rhythm. You felt him deep inside your walls that you could barely move to meet his thrusts. It all felt excessive but good at the same time. This was what you were missing. The same thing Minsik tried to prove to you that he could do. But nobody could punish you like Dabin and you meant that wholeheartedly. You may have been a brat at times but he always knew how to handle you.

You could feel the roughness of his movements despite how tender your lower half was. Dabin watched as your breast bounced in rhythm to his thrust which only turned him on even more. Your voice elevated and he was not happy about that. The last time he punished you; the neighbors came knocking on the door, complaining about how loud you were. Dabin didn’t want a repeat because if they did come, they wouldn’t get an answer, and he wasn’t going to stop fucking you. Not unless he knew you were truly sorry for what you had done. 

Seeing that your ass was exposed, Dabin brought his hand down hard against your cheek leaving a stinging handprint.

“What did I say about noise, princess?” He grunted in anger but you couldn’t help it. It was a very overwhelming experience.

You turned your head and bit your arm again. You figured by the time he was done, you would have a bruise from your own teeth from trying to stay quiet. Dabin hips picked up speed and he brought his thumb down to massage your clit. You tried not to make a sound but it was just too much to bear. How did he expect you not to? You ended up screaming out and he retaliated by stuffing the same black cloth he used to tie your leg in your mouth. Seeing you so submissive under him was the icing on the cake. He was turned on so much that it hurt him as well. Your head shook from side to side at the approach of your orgasm. You looked up at your boyfriend. His dark hair was dripping with sweat that hung low and concealed his eyes. You watched him bite his bottom lip while throwing out obscene words with his baritone voice. It was then that your climax came crashing down on you. Dabin, who felt the tight squeeze to his cock, came as well releasing spurt after of spurt of nut deep inside you before pulling out.

You were beyond exhausted and your eyes remained half open. Now that Dabin had come, you figured it was finally over but when you looked down at him, more specifically at his cock, you notice that he was still rock hard. He untied your other leg and turned you around on your stomach, twisting your wrists awkwardly. With your head down on the bed and your hips up in the air, Dabin plunged back into you. Right away his strokes were urgent and harsh. He picked back up where he left off, fucking you to oblivion and you were forced to go along for another ride. Your moans were muffled due to being pushed into the mattress while you heard his grunts loud and clear. 

You honestly didn’t think you would be able to cum anymore. Your body was drained and every part of you ached. There was a brief moment when all his movement seized and you wondered what he was doing. When you felt the intense vibrations of the butt plug, your body almost gave out. In that position, it felt as though the large toy was fucking your ass. Your eyes rolled back and you drooled at the sensation. Dabin’s thrust started back again. He propped his leg up to get a better hold while his hand gripped your hair at the scalp to pull your head back. Your stomach tightened and your body trembling you came for the eighth time. The feeling became too much and you ended up blacking out. When you came to, Dabin was still fucking you so you knew you hadn’t been out for long. He had escaped and was now lost in another world. Fighting between trying to get himself off and punishing you. This was the roughest punishment Dabin had given you. It left you wondering if he was ever going to stop. What if he planned on fucking you until you turned into a drought, never able to get aroused again? The thought scared you. Using your tongue, you pushed out the cloth and admitted your wrongs.

“I’m sorry, Dabin! I’m so fucking sorry, baby!” You sobbed. “I never should have fucked Minsik and made you lose the bet. I love you so much; I’ll never fuck anybody else again!”

Dabin gave you one final thrust before pulling out a second time and cumming all over your ass and back. You released a deep sigh and when you felt the toy turn off and removed from your now sore rectum, you fell to the bed letting the soft cotton consume your body. Dabin untied your hands and fell on the mattress beside you.

You didn’t know how but you turned over to face him, brushing his wet hair out of his face. His eyes were closed and he was breathing heavy just like you were. His lips curled upward into a smile.

“You’re unbelievable.” He chuckled. You looked at him bewildered.

“You’re worst than me! I literally thought you were going to give me a stroke.”

“But you learned your lesson, didn’t you?” He questioned raising a brow.

You giggled. “I sure did. After all, nobody can fuck me like you do.”

“Say it louder.” He ordered.

“I love you, daddy. No one will ever fuck me the way you do.” You stated confidently. Dabin smiled and kissed your lips before getting out of bed. “Where are you going?” You questioned. It wasn’t until you saw him reach for his phone that your heart dropped. You hoped that he didn’t have anybody watching as he punished you. 

“You heard that, Minsik? You may have my track but as far as it goes with y/n, I’m always number one.” He ended the call and returned to bed. You watched as he rested with his hands behind his head feeling very content with himself. You on the other hand felt your anger rising.

“Is that all I am to you, Dabin? A game?”

He turned to look at you. The smile on his face was long gone. “No, you’re my woman and I’m willing to prove that to any guy that comes around that says different. You are mine and nobody else’s.” He stated. “Yes, I was angry about the song but what hurt me more was how he tried to prove how easy he could take you. I know we invite people into our relationship but at the end of the day, you belong to me and I belong to you. I still hold you accountable for your actions, which is why your punishment is not over yet. You still have a few days but I refuse to let anyone take my place in your life.”

Your heart jumped at his words and your anger was replaced with a smile. “Nobody punishes me like my daddy, but nobody loves me like my Hongie.” You giggled but he groaned at the nickname. “So... how long am I on punishment and what else do you have up your sleeve?”

Dabin thought it over and smirked. You’ll just have to see.”

~

©2017 Silhouetted_Beauty

[lookingglasstheatre]

1. What are you listening to right now? “Kill V. Maim” by Grimes

2. What song makes you sad? I have a whole playlist called “I Used to Know You, But Now We’re Strangers” composed entirely of songs that remind me of exes or old friends I’m not longer in contact with..

“Gimme Danger” by The Stooges is a big one, along with “Everlong” by The Foo Fighters, which both remind me of very specific relationships. But, my pick for this is “Farther” by Third Eye Blind.. it could apply to a lot of different people..

“And I think about you dying years from now never having known who you are […] All I think about is waiting and all the people we are fading into Farther from you every day..” - “Farther” Third Eye Blind

3. What is the most annoying song in the world? Songs aren’t usually annoying to me unless they’re overplayed. I don’t know, no song is annoying me at the moment. Maybe that song “We Are Young” by fun. I’m not even sure it’s annoying, I just hate it.

4. Your all time favorite band? The Birthday Massacre, probably. That would be the most unique pick. Or Elliott Smith, if that counts.

5. Your newly discovered band is? The Regrettes. It’s amazing to me that Lydia Night is like 16 years old. I hope those kids keep killing it. Good luck to them.

6. Best female voice? Hope Sandoval of Mazzy Star has an amazing voice. I wish I sounded even a little bit like her.

7. Best male voice? So, I don’t think he’s the best.. but holy shit, Ville Valo from HIM has a sexy voice. It’s so sexy as to almost make you forget how cheesy HIM lyrics are. Almost.

8. Music type you find yourself listening to most? Pop music, probably.. and shitty punk rock, lol.

9. What do you listen to, to hype you up? Depends on what I’m getting hyped up for. “Bubblegum Bitch” by Marina and The Diamonds for going out and looking pretty. All of Enema of the Sate by Blink-182 for energy in the morning. Kanye for working out. Aesthetic Perfection when I’m about to hit up a goth club, hah.

10. What do you listen to when you want to calm down? Belle and Sebastian, Slowdive, Radiohead, Lana Del Rey

11. Last gig/concert you went to? My friend’s band, Sleepsnack.

12. Band you find yourself listening to the most right now? My taste shifts once the weather gets warm so; Blink-182, Fountains of Wayne, Sufer Blood, Wavves, Third Eye Blind, My Chem’s Danger Days record.

13. Most hated band? I don’t listen to music I hate unless it’s inflicted upon me by other people against my will. So I’m not good with naming bands I don’t like. As far as bands I hate for personal or political reasons.. I hate ANY band that harasses or condones the harassment of women or minorities.

14. Song that makes you think? “Romeo’s Distress” by Christian Death. It’s such a great fucking track, but I want to believe that it’s anti-white supremacist, instead of the other way around… I have read the lyrics over and over trying to figure out if Roz Williams was actually just racist. I want to believe it was written mostly for the shock value and ultimately a song just telling a story and issuing a kind of warning.. but who knows for sure.. [sigh]

15. Band that you think the world should love as much as you do? I’m always kind of surprised more people I meet aren’t more familiar with Sneaker Pimps or IAMX’s early records. Chris Corner is kind of a hero of mine.

16. Coolest music video? Marilyn Manson’s “The Beautiful People” and the video for Death Cab for Cutie’s “Title and Registration.” “All I Full of Love” by Bjork. There are probably a bunch more I’m forgetting. All Grimes music videos.

17. Music video with the most watch? This question is phrased weirdly. But if you’re asking what music video I’ve watched the most… Malice Mizer’s “Illuminati.” Definitely. LOL. Along with Velvet Eden’s “SAD MASK.” Oh god, KALM flailing around in awful CG fire is what I LIVE for.

18. What do you play/would you play in the bedroom to spice things up? Souvlaki by Slowdive. With candles lit, after smoking together.

19. Ever been in a mosh pit? No. I would die. Look at the fucking size of me. I am a delicate doll.

20. Are you in a band? Nope. Someone start an all-girl Ramones and/or Blink-182 cover band with me.

21. Ever dated a musician? “Dated” would be kind of a strong word for it, but I had an ongoing casual thing with a guitarist in a band.

22. Do you wish yourself that you were a musician? Yes, but only because I wish I were any good at playing one of the myriad of instruments I’ve tried to learn. I wouldn’t want to be famous though.

23. Best all chick band you know of? Sleater-Kinney.

24. Last song that you heard on the radio/cd…etc…? I haven’t listened to the radio in a long, long time. I haven’t bought a CD in many years. If you’re counting any kind of physical media, I’m spinning an LP on my turntable right now; it’s Blink-182’s Enema of The State and “Anthem” just finished playing.

32. What do you think of Classical music? Eh, I can understand why some people find it boring. My mother was a classical pianist and I grew up listening to a lot of classical music. I just developed a taste for it after many years, I guess.

33. What do you think of Country music? It reminds me of growing up in Texas. There will always be at least one or two country songs I like - a lot of which reminds me of middle school dances and crying in the bathroom alone because my crush didn’t like me back. And everyone likes at least one Johnny Cash song.

34. What do you think of metal? I like it. I can only take so much screaming, to be honest.. but some bands I really love can be classified as metal.

35. Last BIG band that you saw live? Blink-182.

36. Are you a groupie? Nope.

37. Do you listen to music in foreign languages? I used to listen to a LOT of J-Rock. I also listen to music in Korean, German, Romanian, and French.

38. What famous musician would you like to “spend the night with”!?

Woman; Lauren Mayberry of Chvrches. She’s a great front woman and so, so cute.

Man; I’d say Gerard Way of My Chemical Romance, but I feel weird about it because he’s also married to another super-crush of mine; Lindsey from Mindless Self Indulgence… so maybe Elliott Smith when he was still alive. I get a strong impression that he respected women.

39. Worst concert moment? Any time someone drunkenly falls all over me and/or hits me. It always seems to happen. Also when I saw Kaya live with my sister there was a guy trying to hit on her the entire time and I felt really bad that I didn’t exactly notice until we were out of the show.

40. Funny concert moment? When I went to see Marina and The Diamonds there was a guy next to me with his boyfriend and right in front of us was a woman with her teenage son. At some point they lit up a joint and offered some to the mom (who honestly looked kind of square) and she and them got high together. It was pretty amusing watching them chill together.

41. Sad concert moment? I went to see IAMX with a boyfriend, who I loved very much, but he didn’t really know the band. A few rows back, my ex (who I had just recently broken up with) was there with a coworker. I was sad we’d gotten to a point where we couldn’t go together or hang out anymore because we have really similar taste in music and that concert was amazing and I was sad not to be able to hang out with him during it.

42. Best local act you can think of? King Woman is originally from this area, I think.

43. If you were a musical instrument what would you be? Vocalist. I suck at everything else. In a perfect world I’d be the guitarist or keys.

44. Do you listen to the radio? Honestly, no, and I haven’t since grade school, really.

45. Do you watch music TV? I don’t have cable.

46. Do you follow the music charts, like the top 40? I did in grade school, but I haven’t really paid attention to music charts since then.

47. Have you meet any famous musicians? Met Kaya at an autograph session at Anime USA. It was at the peak of my Kaya obsession. He told me I was pretty. It was awesome.

48. Are any of your friends/family/etc. musicians? My mom was a piano teacher. My dad is basically tone deaf, haha.

49. Song that best describes your feelings right now? “I Really Like You” by Carly Rae Jepson.

50. Song that describes your life? The ENTIRE record Froot by Marina And the Diamonds. ESPECIALLY “I’m a Ruin” “Blue” and “Forget” and “Weeds”.. and “Immortal” Yeah, I can’t pick just one song… The whole record. Just listen to the whole thing and you’ll understand me, haha. Which I realize, does not paint me in a very flattering light.. but it’s accurate.

“Gimme love, gimme dreams, gimme a good self esteem” -Blue

“Cause I have lived my life in debt I’ve spent my days in deep regret Yeah, I’ve been living in the red But I wanna forgive and forget” -Forget

“I miss all of my exes They’re the only ones that know me And God knows that sex is A way to feel a bit, a little bit less lonely Yeah, I tried to keep it covered up Yeah, I thought I cut him at the root But now I think my time is up Cause he keeps growing back Like weeds” - Weeds

51. Do you know the names of all the band members that you listen to? Not even remotely. There are some exceptions, but for the most part, no.

52. Does a musician’s physical attractiveness play a part? A part in what? I think it plays a role in how popular they become. As far as it playing a role in how much I like them, I appreciate bands with a strong aesthetic, but it’s hardly necessary. Some of my favorite bands I wouldn’t even be able to recognize if I saw a photo of.

53. What famous musician do you want to marry? I don’t think someone’s musical output is a good way to gauge their marriageability..

54. Favourite movie soundtrack? The Scott Pilgrim vs The World OST.

55. Any musician pet hates? Any time musicians are arrogant enough to insult other musician’s work just for their own credibility. Like, you’re not cool for hating pop music, my dude. >_>

56. What do your parents listen to? My mother listens to mostly classical music, my dad likes James Taylor and Joni Mitchell

57. What are you listening to right NOW? Private Affair by The Virgins. I fucking love this song.

58. Do you wear band etc T-shirts? I hate wearing band t-shirts with a fiery passion of a thousand suns with VERY rare exceptions.

59. What do you think of people who do? I’m usually pretty.. not into those people. Like, hate is a strong word… but I’m really into fashion. Band t-shirts are like a really lazy way of expressing yourself to me. And they’re almost always printed on really boxy, non-soft material. Everyone wants to fight me on this.. I just don’t care for them.

60. What music sub-culture do you feel like you belong to? None? I always dressed too goth to really feel like I belong in the punk scene even though that was primarily what I was listening to in high school. I guess goth, but I don’t get along with or have much in common with most of the generic goths I know and I listen to too much pop for them. Is the indie-synthpop scene a thing..?

61. What song is stuck in your head right now? The theme song to Buffy The Vampire Slayer.

62. Do you sing in the shower? When I was a kid I would drag my giant boom box in the the bathroom with me and listen to it while taking a bath; mostly audiobooks, but sometimes music. I usually didn’t sing along though.

63. If so, what? If not, why not? Not sure? I sing in the car a lot. If music is on and I know the words and I’m alone, I’m singing.

66. How important is your partners taste in music to you? I’m really open about music, so whatever they are into I’ll probably get into as well. If we already share a taste in music we can discover more together, which is really fun. As long as they don’t HATE my music, it’s fine.

67. Hanson moves in next door to you, do you go introduce yourself, or do you arrange to beat them up? I’d probably just update my facebook status like, “Hanson lives next door to me. So, there’s that.” And invite them to my next barbecue.

68. Sex, drugs, and rock ‘n roll, you dig? Yes, sometimes, and yes.

69. Do you cook to music? Sometimes, I no longer have speakers right next to the kitchen.

70. Do you sing in the toilet? Nah.

[apostatemages]

You want a lot of questions?! Even numbers! All of them. Because I'm horrible ?

Right, well, first off, fuck you :)

second, this is going under a read more

third, I’m leaving out the ones I know you already know/I don’t want to answer

2: Do I have any nicknames? Ninzz3: Zodiac sign? Aquarius4: Video game I play to chill, not to win? Tomb Raider Legend. I got every achievement possible in it years ago so it’s like a comforting, familiar walk for me.5: Book/series I reread? The only one I constantly reread is Memoirs of A Geisha, which I’ve read over 25 times, but I have read 1984 and the Call of Cthulhu several times as well.6: Aliens or ghosts? If I had to pick one, aliens. Because my space parents are always dicks to me and the other ones figured out how to paralyse me7: Writer I trust enough to read whatever they write? I don’t have one of those because I’m not a huge reader in the conventional sense and most of my favourite authors are dead.10: The word that I use all the time to describe something great? Awesome or nice11: Favourite song? Right now it’s Darkwave Surfer or Innsmouth, both by Aural Vampire12: The question you ask new friends to get to know them better? What books and movies they like. It’s always a good yardstick 14: The last person who hurt me, did I forgive them? Yes. I could never stay angry at you for long15: Last song I listened to? Right now I’m listening to Burning For You - Blue Oyster Cult. Before that it was Jane - Jefferson Starship16: TV show I always recommend? It depends very much on what the other person is asking for, but in a more general sense? Buffy, AHS, Xena, Parks and Rec, Breaking Bad, Brooklyn 99. I’m not a huge TV watcher, I never saw any of those on TV when they were on, only on tape, DVD or streaming services. 18: Movie I watch when I'm feeling down? Girl Interrupted, Memoirs of A Geisha, Star Wars, Practical Magic, The Matrix. These always bring me out of a bad mood19: Song that I always start my shuffle with/wake-up song/always-on-a-loop song? My alarm is Gimme Shelter - Rolling Stones21: What am I most afraid of? Onryo34: Someone I always think about? You!35: Am I excited about anything? My moon phase tattoos, which I’m getting in just over a week37: Favourite TV shows as a child? Buffy has been a firm favourite for as long as I can remember. All my favourite kids shows were like... Mona the Vampire and Arthur, 38: Do I have someone of the opposite sex that I can tell everything to? No, not really. I’m weird about men39: Am I superstitious? Yes41: Do I have any strange phobias? I wouldn’t say any of mine are strange. Irrational, perhaps, but not strange.42: Do I prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? I love taking photographs of people, but I rarely get the chance. To be in front of the camera it would have to be a stranger paying me to do it, or someone I trust very much.44: Last book I read? Right now I’m reading Brave New World by Aldous Huxley. One of my best friend’s brother recommended it to me.45: Last film I watched? In Her Shoes50: How do I destress? If I’m really stressed out I’ll just pull a fanon hux and fuck myself until I pass out. I’m too boneless and sated to care about anything else51: Do I like confrontation? A sick little part of me does take pleasure in it when it’s someone I don’t really like54: Do I sleep with the lights on or off? On because I see things in the dark and it scares me55: Play any sports? No, but I enjoy swimming and gymnastics.59: Afraid of heights? As much as any sensible person is.61: What was the last concert I went to see? I’ve never been to one, not as such. I saw a live performance when I was a kid by some singer that committed suicide a few years after. 62: Am I vegetarian/vegan/pescatarian? No. But I could probably be vegetarian if I needed to be?63: What occupation did I want to do when I was younger? I wanted to be a vet.64: Have I ever had a friend turn enemy? Not as such, but I’ve had friendships turn so toxic that I’ve had to end them.70: Can I sing? I’ve been told I can so I guess, yes. I don’t feel I’m very good though.71: Something I wish I could do? fucking anything, lol73: Have I ever skipped school? Yes. Once I went out and smoked weed with a couple friends and went back into the school, where I then held onto a sink and had an existential crisis because it wasn’t weed, it was fucking skunk!!77: What is my current desktop picture? A picture of Rey on a speeder, half naked78: Early bird or night owl? Night owl for sure79: Sunsets or sunrise? sunset80: Can I drive? Yes81: Story behind my last kiss? I was leaving for my train home, it was a goodbye kiss.82: Earphones or headphones? Headphones84: Story behind one of my scars? I have a chickenpox scar in the middle of my forehead. And one on my left middle knuckle from trying to punch someone and hitting the wall because they moved.88: What makes me really angry? People who have lots of money asking me why I can’t just, like, buy the things I want??89: Kindle or real book? Real books, I detest kindles.90: Favourite sporty activity? If walking doesn’t count, swimming or climbing. I can’t do much of either these days because CFS92: What was my favourite subject at school? Geology. I’m a dirty rock lover94: What was the last thing I bought? A case for my new phone, because my other one got broken, oops96: Can I cook? If I follow a recipe exactly I’m great, but if I don’t... It’s pretty disastrous.97: Can I bake? Same rules as cooking.103: Sexual orientation? This is a question that perplexes me too! I have figured out that I’m gay mostly because I am unable to trust men enough to even form true friendships with them without doubting their motives. They always want sex from me, most have gone to ridiculous lengths to get it from me, and when I refuse? They force their attentions on me. 106: Last time I cried? Last week. I had a breakdown when the above finally occurred to me during therapy, among other similarly unpleasant revelations107: Guilty pleasure? ???113: Favourite accents? I dunno, I like lots of different ones.114: A place I have not been but wish to visit? Maine!117: Am I religious? Yes, I am. I consider myself pagan but I’m not sure what subset I fall into.119: Do I like the deep ocean? I suppose so, It’s interesting! There are lots of strange little creatures down there that could be my friends.121: Am I allergic to anything? No, not that I know of.122: Can I curl my tongue? Yes123: Can I wiggle my ears? No126: My current project? Your birthday gift. After that I plan to start a Star Wars tarot deck.128: Do I admit when I wrong? Yes, I try to. Sometimes I’m so stubborn that I don’t realise I’m in the wrong but the moment I do I try and apologise129: Forest or beach? I love both very much. I couldn’t choose one. 130: Favourite piece of advice? ‘Stay afraid but do it anyway’131: Am I a good liar? When it suits me. Acting like a bad liar makes it all the more convincing when you need to do it for real.133: Do I talk to myself? Literally all the time, I basically respond to my own thoughts by talking.135: Do I like gossip? I despise it136: Do I keep a journal/diary? I keep several: One for mind stuff/events/feelings, one for dreams, one for sexual fantasies, one for magical information, one for ideas, and one for general information. I also keep notes on my calendar. Whenever I go on a trip I keep a journal specifically for that and save all my ticket stubs and leaflets and photographs.137: Have I ever hopelessly failed a test? I must have at some point but I can’t say I remember.138: Do I believe in second chances? I’m a bad for giving people extra chances when I really shouldn’t.139: If I found a wallet full of cash on the ground, what would I do? Take the money and then put it in a lost and found.140: Do I believe people are capable of change? I suppose so. At their very core, perhaps not.141: Have I ever been underweight? Yes. Quite severely - about 90lbs146: Have I ever been overweight? Never. I’ve been more muscular but that doesn’t really count. I had an extra 20lbs of muscle a few years ago.147: Do I have any piercings? I have my ears, a labret, and the left side of my nose. I had my nipples pierced for about a year149: Do I have any tattoos? Three right now, soon to be four. runes on either wrist, and script that reads ‘destiny rules’ on my left shoulder150: What is the best decision I have made in life so far? To not go to college. I would certainly have killed myself by now if I had151: Do I believe in Karma? yes 152: Do I wear glasses or contacts? glasses, contacts in this house would be a very bad idea because of all the dust and fluff155: Who is the most intelligent person I know? The friend that recommended Brave New World. I’m quite intelligent but he makes me feel very, very stupid.158: Have I ever pulled an all-nighter? Yes, many times159: Which do I value more in others, brains or beauty? Brains, obviously. I’ve known some very beautiful people that are just horrible.160: What colour mostly dominates my wardrobe? No single colour, actually. I have a lot of white, blue, purple/burgundy, and black. Also earthy, light tan colours.161: Have I ever had a paranormal experience? I’ve had too many to list!162: What do I hate most about myself? That I’m so jealous. Especially of people with more money than me, I think about that almost every day and it makes me boil with rage.163: What do I love most about myself? That’s a very hard question to answer without seeming narcissistic. I guess I like that I’m a loyal friend, willing to deal with a whooooole lot.165: Do I believe in fate? Of course, or I wouldn’t have that destiny rules tattoo would I166: Favourite animal? Hard to say. I like snakes, spiders, dogs, cats and all sorts170: One of my favourite quotes? Just one? Awwww. ‘We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.’ - H.P Lovecraft171: Do I hold grudges? No, I don’t. Or else I would become the very thing I fear.172: Do I trust easily? No, not at all! It takes a long time for me to trust a person, if I ever do174: Best gift I’ve ever received? Hard to say. In terms of sentimental value, these: your japor snippet, Noodle and Leia, the velvet dress, Agnetha, my tattoos, the Kylo bear... those are all I can think of right now. In terms of usefulness, these: my previous phone, drawing tablet, TV, leather coat and trousers, that sort of thing.175: Do I dream? Yes, often.176: Have I ever had a night terror? Many times thought it happened more when I was a child.177: Do I remember my dreams, and what is one that comes to mind? I remember them vividly when I do, and I remember one where I missed a train. The station was underground and all steel, grey and sterile. Someone told me to run through a tunnel that reminded me of the book tunnels in Apocrypha, in that it stretched out in front of me as I ran through and in the gaps was Holly, riding a unicorn. It was very odd.179: If I were immortal, what would I do? If it meant I didn’t have to eat anymore then great! I could do anything I wanted.180: Do I like shopping? I would, if I actually had money. 181: If I could get away with a crime, what would I choose to do? Murder182: What does “family” mean to me? People that love you unconditionally and are there for you when you need them185: If I could master one skill, what would I choose? Sex, because then I would be able to do what I love and be boss at it186: What is my greatest failure? Boy, let me count the ways187: What is my greatest achievement? I don’t actually know. I can’t say I’ve achieved anything of note. I’ve done some cool stuff, but are they achievements? Probably not.188: Love or money? Love of money is the root of all sin, but money cannot buy love189: Love or career? Love, I couldn’t give a shit about careers194: If I could choose my last words, what would they be? See you next time195: Would I ever want to encounter aliens? I have done. Some, I would never choose to meet but the others I don’t mind196: A movie that scared me as a child? The Ring, thanks to that shit I have a psychological complex about onryo197: Something I hated as a child that I like now? Being spanked201: A nightmare that has stayed with me? Always the onryo, I remember every nightmare I have about them very vividly203: Do I judge a book by its cover? everybody does to some extent, right? it has to catch your eye in the first place204: Have I ever had my heart broken? I’d say so, yes. I am recovering.205: Do I like my handwriting? I guess so. It changes a lot, I never think about it206: Sweet or savoury? savoury208: Do I collect anything? I collect lots of things; bottle caps, coins, vhs tapes, etc etc209: Item of clothing or jewellery you’ll never see me without? My japor snippet and my siberian blue quartz pendant. And my various piercings. I’ve had the same earrings in for about 3 years now. 211: How do I handle anger? badly212: Was I named after anyone? Inanna, the Sumerian goddess of love, fertility, sex, and war.213: Do I use sarcasm a lot? Yeah...214: What TV character am I most like? Probably a strange mix of Andy and April from Parks and Rec215: What is the weirdest talent I have? I don’t have one, now that I think about it. I have hyperextended elbows216: Favourite fictional character? Tough one, tough one. Right now it has to be Kylo. But the most enduring would have to be Padme. I have a sticker of her on my bedroom door that I put there in 2000.