#I watched Steven Universe b/c I was worried I was too close to fusion but I think it's okay since the whole species looks generally the same

[minijenn]

Universe Falls, Chapter 80, Part 2

AHAHAHAH AND SO IT FUCKING CONTINUES. But yeah Memories is a roller coaster ride of feels and ya’ll get ready to board by bringing the tissues along cause oof. There’s a lot in here. Even so, I LOVE how it turned out so I’ll leave you to it. Enjoy! (but don’t actually read it on here, read it on Ao3 please!!!! (also review, reviews are nice ^_^) 

Previous: https://minijenn.tumblr.com/post/621740517506564096/universe-falls-chapter-80-part-1

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Chapter 80, Part 2: Memories 

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“Who?”

The question hung on the air for what seemed like ages, echoing through it to the point that it seemed to obscure everything else, even the dull flow of the fountain behind him. Stepper’s already palpable confusion expanded upon seeing the dumbfounded stares Mabel, Garnet, and Pearl alike were all sending his way, almost as if his simple question was one that none of them had the faintest idea how to answer. 

Eventually though, Mabel was finally the first to break the silence, letting out a rather harsh, forced laugh as she kept her gaze on the fusion’s face rather than his still-damaged gemstone. “Ha! Good one, you guys!” she chuckled a bit too loudly, knowing that no one else was partaking in her levity. “You know, I usually love a good joke, but now’s not really the time to be kidding around, so…?”

“I’m… not kidding,” Stepper frowned, raising a curious eyebrow at her. “Are you sure you’re not the one who’s kidding, Mabel? I mean, come on, since when have I been a fusion?”

“S-since... always…” Pearl spoke up, her hands pressed close to her chest as she trembled slightly. “C-certainly, you must… h-how could you not-”

“Stepper,” Garnet interjected, her voice a bit firmer than the white Gem’s, though it was clear she was every bit as shaken. “You must be confused after what you went through. You are a fusion. Between Steven Universe and Dipper Pines. You know that.”

“I… really don’t, because I’m not,” Stepper shook his head incredulously. “I’m pretty sure I’d know if I was a fusion. And if I was, I’d at least know who I was a fusion of to begin with, right?”

“B-but that doesn’t make any sense!” Mabel exclaimed, distraught as she grabbed onto one of the fusion’s lower arms. “Of course you know Steven and Dipper! You have to know them! They are you!”

“Um, I think that’s sort of impossible,” Stepper crossed his upper arms. “I’m me. And besides, I’ve never even met or heard of any Steven or Dipper. Are they friends of yours, Mabel?”

“Yes!” Mabel huffed, frustrated. “More than just friends! Dipper, you’re my twin brother! Steven, you’re one of my best friends! And Stepper, you’re both of them! They’re you! You have to remember them! Y-you can’t just forget who you are! You’re-”

“Mabel,” Garnet suddenly quieted her, placing a steadying hand on her shoulder just as a heavy sob finally escaped her. Stepper was admittedly startled by it, a rush of guilt he couldn’t quite place filling him as he noticed the tears steadily streaming down her cheeks as she resigned herself to Garnet’s consoling embrace. 

“I-I… I’m sorry,” he said earnestly, despite his still very palpable confusion. “I-I didn’t mean to upset any of you, I just… really have no idea what you guys are talking about.”

None of the others had any idea how to respond to this as they all looked to the fusion, equally forlorn. Mabel’s tears were still plentiful and by now Pearl had taken on a few of her own as she quietly covered her mouth and glanced away. Garnet kept her sights set on Stepper meanwhile, essentially begging her future vision to give her some kind of insight as to what might have happened to him only to receive none at all. 

It wasn’t long before this bout of solemn silence was broken by the chime of the warp pad on the other side of the garden. With its bright light, Amethyst appeared, having followed Garnet’s command to retrieve Stan and Ford as both of them rushed after her to check on the fusion with a shared sense of intent concern. 

“There you boys are!” Ford let out an allayed sigh as he approached Stepper. “What a relief it is to see you’re both alright.”

“Ford-” Pearl attempted to interject, though Stan cut her off before she could say anything else. 

“You two kids had us worried sick!” he exclaimed adamantly, though it was clear his frustration came from a place of caring. “What the heck is wrong with you, running off like that on your own for three days?!”

“What?” Stepper asked, not able to recall anything of the sort. 

“Uh, well, actually, they kinda got sucked into some crazy dimensional portal, remember?” Amethyst pointed out.

“A portal that led to the Nightmare Realm, no less!” Ford shook his head incredulously. “You both are incredibly lucky to have somehow found a way back, much less survived in that despicable wasteland against, well... you know who.”

“Um, I don’t--Augh!” Stepper stopped himself short with a startled gasp as the author suddenly shined a bright flashlight directly into his eyes. The fusion was quick to cover them as the others were all quick to turn to Ford to demand an explanation for such a bizarre, untimely move. 

“Ford! What’s the matter with you? What are you tryin’ to do?! Blind the poor kids?!” Stan yelled, sending his brother a harsh glare as he placed a supportive hand against the fusion’s back.

“No, of course not,” Ford scoffed, putting his flashlight away. “I was just… checking something.” He paused for a moment, glancing to Garnet and Pearl as he spoke to them specifically. “Fortunately it seems as though Bill didn’t manage to hitch a ride back through him. But… his gem… Amethyst did mention it was cracked; have you placed him in the fountain yet?”

“Y-yes…” Pearl nodded. “B-but we have no idea why it’s still cracked. Though… perhaps it could explain the apparent issue with his memories…”

“His memories?” Stan spoke up. “What’s the matter with his memories?”

“Nothing, I-” Stepper began, though once again, before he could get much out he was cut off. 

“G-Grunkle Stan,” Mabel rushed over to the conman, hugging his leg tightly, tearfully as she refused to so much as look at Stepper this time. “H-he… he said he doesn’t know who Dipper and Steven are! He said… h-he doesn’t even think he’s a fusion… T-that he isn’t them…”

Stan and Ford were both stunned into silence upon hearing this, their wide-eyed sights settling on Stepper, who was unsure of how to meet them. Unsure of how to meet any of the several sets of eyes all watching him expectantly, searching him for answers he knew he didn’t have for them. 

All the same, he let out a startled gasp as Stan suddenly grabbed him by his vest, pulling him a bit down to his level as he hissed at him threateningly. “You said what?”

“Stan!” Garnet suddenly shouted, pulling the frightened fusion away from the conman as she placed herself before him protectively. “Leave him alone. What’s happened to him is not his fault.”

“Well, then who’s fault is it?” Stan asked, glaring at the Gem leader coldly. 

“Certainly, it must be Bill’s,” Ford said, his tone grave and scornful.

“...Who?” the conman raised an oblivious eyebrow. 

“Oh for crying out loud…” Ford sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You had my journals all these years, Stanley. How could you not know a single thing about Bill Cipher? Dream demon? Usurper of the Nightmare Realm? My primary nemesis, since-”

“Wait,” Stan interrupted as he narrowed his eyes at his brother. “Your nemesis? So you’re sayin’ this Cipher guy has a bone to pick with you… so he took it out on Dipper and Steven?!”

Ford flinched, caught off guard by the sudden fury peaking in the conman’s tone. “T-that… I… I don’t know, I-I wasn’t there to-”

The author was sharply cut off by a sudden blow directly to his jaw. He stumbled back from his brother’s heavy punch, collapsing against one of the fountain’s lower statues of Rose as the Gems, Mabel, and Stepper alike all gasped in apt surprise by this sudden act of violence. “What did I tell you, Ford?!” Stan shouted, absolutely furious as he gripped the stunned author by the collar of his sweater. “What did I say about getting the kids involved in your messes?!”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Stanley!” Ford shoved the conman back hard. “Bill doesn’t just have it out for me, he has it out for the Gems, for the kids, for everyone on this planet! This isn’t about you or me!”

“That’s right,” Garnet stepped between the brothers, pushing them apart to create some distance amidst their rising tension. “It’s not. This is about Stepper.”

At this, everyone turned their attention to the fusion once more. All four of his hands were drawn close to him, his eyes wide and worried as he took a small step forward to address Stan and Ford in particular. “I-I… don’t know why you guys are fighting,” he began rather timidly. “But please, don’t. You all seem so sad and angry, and… I don’t really understand why, but I wish I did so I could help somehow.” 

“I-I think I know how you can help!” Mabel piped up urgently. “You can unfuse! I-if you’re just Steven and Dipper again, then there’s no way you won’t be able to remember them because you’ll be them again! It’s that easy!”

“Well, if you think that would help, I’d be happy to do that, it’s just…” Stepper sighed as he placed a hand against the back of his neck. “I… don’t think I can unfuse? Like I said before, I’m not a fusion, so… yeah.”

“For the love of Newton, this is far worse than I could have imagined…” Ford muttered, immensely concerned.

“You’re telling me,” Stan remarked, aptly baffled. “The kid’s completely lost it!”

“Well, he’s certainly lost something…” Pearl added, shaking her head remorsefully. 

“Let’s go back to the temple,” Garnet said, her tone unreadable as she led the way back to the warp pad. “We’ll be able to make more sense of all this there…. Hopefully.”

Though it only took the span of less than five minutes for the group to warp back to the temple, during the short trip, Mabel happened to notice three very specific things about Stepper that no one else really had pointed out yet against everything else. First was his clothes, once torn and tattered thanks to whatever Bill had done to him in the Nightmare Realm, now repaired to pristine condition thanks to Rose’s fountain. And yet, two prominent pieces were missing: the blue pine tree on his hat and the yellow star on his shirt, both markers, both symbols of who the fusion really was, gone just as much as his memory of the two boys that usually wore them seemed to be. Second were his eyes, a far cry from the usual shade of mostly-matched violet brown Stepper was known to have whenever he was around. Instead, they were pink, bright, bold, and undeniably pink, to the point that his irises were practically glowing with it as they sparkled in the light. But third was what was lying just behind those eyes, a sense of innocence, of oblivious unknowing, so unlike the sharp, eager awareness that had once been there instead. Just another worrying sign that something was off, something was so incredibly wrong that even Stepper himself didn’t understand what that something was. 

“Well, there’s gotta be some way to split them up, right?” Amethyst began as everyone congregated around the couch. “Oh! I got it! If he doesn’t know how to split up on his own, then maybe we can just do it for them!”

“D-do what?” Stepper flinched, especially as Amethyst pulled her whip out. 

“We’ll be doing no such thing!” Pearl scolded. “With his gem cracked like that, there’s no telling what Stepper being forcibly split up--or splitting up in general really--could do to Steven and Dipper! Nevermind the fact that he can’t even remember either of them to begin with…”

“S-so… Stepper is just… stuck like this?” Mabel asked fretfully from her spot on the couch right next to the confused fusion. 

“Stuck how?” he asked, though once again he received no direct answer. 

“Yes,” Garnet replied, her arms crossed and her tone rigid as she averted her gaze away from Stepper almost purposefully. “For now.”

“But hopefully not for long,” Ford said, resolved. “Now, to properly solve this problem, the best thing to do is to get to the bottom of what’s actually wrong here.”

“Oh wow, great plan there, poindexter,” Stan deadpanned dryly. “Never could’ve come up with something like that on our own. What genius thinking.”

Ford largely ignored his brother’s sardonic remarks as he instead took a step forward, pulling a pad of paper out so he could jot down some notes. “Alright, Stepper, why don’t we start with you? Since you don’t seem to remember anything about Steven or Dipper or being a fusion, what are you able to remember off the top of your head?”

“Oh,” Stepper blinked, surprised that someone was actually giving him a chance to speak his own piece for a change. “Well… let’s see… I remember meeting all of you, and fighting Peridot’s robots in the woods-”

“Yeah?” Mabel asked, suddenly hopeful at the recollection of a memory from weeks ago now.

“Then there was the time you wanted to research my shield journal,” Stepper said, keeping his focus on Ford before turning it over to Mabel. “Oh! And then we fused!”

“Yeah! Into Dipevebel!” Mabel grinned, gripping the fusion’s arm excitedly. 

“Right,” Stepper nodded with a smile. “Then there was that street race we were part of and… um… I… think that’s it? I can’t really remember anything else until I woke up in that fountain a few minutes ago.”

“Nothing?” Amethyst asked, dumbfounded. “Not even anything about how your gem got all busted up like that?”

“No,” the fusion shook his head, frowning as he glanced down at his damaged gemstone. “Do any of you know how it happened?”

The others fell silent at this, dread filling their expressions as they realized just how blissfully unaware of the immense trauma he’d just been through he really was. They would have preferred to keep him unaware on that particular front too, if not for the fact that the rest of his memories had faded along with the knowledge of what had taken them away from him in the first place. “Stepper, you’ve… been trapped in the Nightmare Realm for the past three days,” Pearl began to explain as carefully as she could. “We can only assume that it was there that Bill got ahold of you and caused grave damage to your gem a-and your memories.”

For the longest time, Stepper said nothing in response to this, his expression still lacking any sort of real understanding, which became even more apparent when he voiced that lack aloud. “Bill? Who’s that?”

“Y-you… you’re kidding, right?” Amethyst asked, baffled. “You know, Bill Cipher? Crazy talking one-eyed triangle? Tried killing all of us, like a bunch of times? Hijacked Dipper’s body once and wants to steal Steven’s gem? None of that’s ringing a bell for you?”

“N-no…” Stepper admitted apprehensively. “But… whoever he is, he sounds like a really bad guy.”

“‘Bad’ is certainly an understatement when it comes to Bill... “ Ford muttered disdainfully. 

“So the kid doesn’t remember who he’s made of,” Stan spoke up impatiently. “He doesn’t remember how it all happened, he doesn’t seem to really remember much of anything! Are we sure this isn’t some weird sort of amnesia situation?”

“O-or maybe he’s just been fused for such a long time that he’s lost himself…?” Pearl proposed. “Oh, but that wouldn’t make any sense, he’s only been fused for three days at most, after all.”

“It’s not entirely impossible though,” Ford pointed out. “Time moves differently in the Nightmare Realm than it does here in our dimension. It’s unpredictable, non-linear. What’s a few mere hours there could be days here, and vice versa, so there’s really no telling how long Stepper’s stint there might have been for him. Especially now that he doesn’t seem to remember it in the slightest.”

“Ugh, who cares about any of that?” Amethyst huffed indignantly. “How are we gonna fix this mess?!”

“Until Stepper regains his memories, there isn’t much of a chance that we can,” Garnet said, adjusting her shades. “He’s the only one who can tell us what happened after all. Well, aside from Bill, but I’m sure I’m not the only one who’d rather not hear it from him.”

“But we don’t even know how he lost his memories in the first place!” Pearl bemoaned fretfully. “How can we go about restoring them if we don’t even know what happened to them?”

From there, a round of debate over this problem broke out, with everyone largely talking over each other as they tried to form a cohesive plan of action. Amidst all this, Stepper sat in silence, trying his best to listen and understand a conversation that kept on going in endless circles, one that concerned him, yet he didn’t entirely know how. He knew well by now that the others were all upset, worried, angry, and afraid, but the reason why was beyond him, a reason obscured by names and events he didn’t know, things he couldn’t comprehend, no matter how hard he tried. At the very least, he could tell there was one thing they all agreed on: they wanted to help him, even if he wasn’t sure he even needed such help at all. 

At the same time, Mabel lingered close by the fusion’s side, her focus dedicated to him rather than the ongoing argument between the Gems and her uncles. The heightened, perhaps even petty tensions between them didn’t matter to her in the slightest; nothing did really, not as long as something was wrong with Stepper, as long as something was wrong with Steven and Dipper. And while everyone else debated over whatever logical, scientific, or brute force plans they could think of, Mabel began to develop one of her own, one based not on the many things they didn’t know about this daunting situation. But instead, a plan based on what she did know about her brother and her best friend. 

“Everyone, hold on a sec!” she shouted as she suddenly jumped onto the coffee table to grab everyone’s attention. “I’ve got an idea, and it’s a good one too!”

While a handful of the others took pause, exchanging an uncertain glance at this, Garnet was the first to prompt her onward. “Go ahead.”

“Ok, so you guys said we won’t be able to fix Stepper’s gem until he splits up first, right?” Mabel began, her tone intent and determined. “And Stepper can’t split up until he remembers who Steven and Dipper are? So that’s where we should start!” She grinned as she spun back around to face the fusion behind her. “By reminding you of who you’re made of!”

“But Mabel,” Stepper said with a small, exasperated sigh. “I’ve already told you, I can’t split up because I’m not a fusion.”

“You are a fusion, and I can prove it!” Mabel retorted, hands on her hips. “First of all, if you’re not a fusion, then why do you have four arms?”

“Uh… well…” Stepper trailed off with a frown as he looked down at his substantial set of hands.

“And how do you explain how you only remember three totally different days before now?” 

“I-I… I just…”

“And out of those three days, how come you only remember a few things about them?”

Stepper interrupted her with another heavy sigh, a hand placed against his now aching head as it struggled to fill in the gaps she kept suggesting to him. “L-Look, I get that not a lot of things are adding up here, but… I still don’t think I’m a fusion. And like I said before, I don’t know who… what were their names again? Sipper and Deven?” 

“Dipper and Steven,” Mabel corrected urgently. 

“Dipper and Steven,” Stepper repeated, the names sounding completely forign to him even as he said them aloud. “I don’t know who either of them are. And if I don’t know them, then how can I possibly be them?” 

“But you are them!” Mabel protested, practically to the point of pleading. “Here, I’ll show you.” With this, she rushed up onto Steven’s bedroom loft, finding his phone lying by his bed quite easily before she rushed it back to the fusion downstairs. “Look! Look at them!” she pulled up one of the many selfies Steven had taken of himself and Dipper, one from not too terribly long ago. “This is Steven, and this is Dipper. Don’t you recognize them? Can’t you see how much they look like you?!”

Stepper looked between the two boys in the photo for quite a long time, not a single sign of recognition showing up in his face even now that he could see some sort of depiction of his two apparent halves for himself. “N-no,” he said with a sad, yet honest frown. “I… I don’t know them. Either of them.” He hesitated in saying anything else, especially as he noticed tears starting to well up in Mabel’s eyes again, her expression overwhelmed with returning grief that she was trying her hardest to force away for his sake. “Mabel, I-I… I’m sorry.”

In an instant, Mabel rushed to wipe her tears away, pulling her shoulder away from the comforting grip Garnet attempted to put on it. “I-it’s ok,” she said, forcing on a reassuring smile. “Because we’re gonna figure this out. Looking at a picture is one thing, but maybe jogging your memories of them might work even better!”

“Uh, how are you gonna do that?” Amethyst asked, mirroring everyone else’s confusion at this plan. 

“I think you mean how are we gonna do that,” Mabel grinned confidently. “Even though Stepper might not know who Steven and Dipper are, that doesn’t mean we don’t! Same goes for everyone else who knows them. Plus, I don’t wanna brag, but we just so happen to have a bona-fide expert when it comes to Dipper here, someone who happens to have known him our entire lives…” Her smile grew as she pointed to herself proudly. 

“Oh! And we’ve known Steven for his entire life!” Pearl added with a newfound grin. 

“Yeah, exactly!” Mabel nodded zealously. “So between all of us, we can fill in all the gaps and remind Stepper who he’s really supposed to be so he can finally unfuse again!”

“But, Mabel,” Stepper attempted to protest in the hopes of voicing his own thoughts about this plan. “I-”

“Shh, it’s ok,” Mabel quieted him, cutting him off in the process. “There’s nothing you need to worry about, Ste-bro. We’ve all got this. We’ve got you.”

Stepper simply let out a resigned sigh at this, realizing once again that the chance for him to even get a simple word of edgewise had been ripped away from him. So instead, he remained quietly sitting on the sidelines while everyone else continued to discuss what they believed was best for him, what they believed he should remember, even if those were memories he knew he didn’t even have to begin with. 

“It’s a… novel idea, Mabel, but… I fear it might be too simple,” Ford noted with a frown. “After all, we’re still not even sure what Bill did to his memories, much less how to get them back. The case could be made that this is all connected to the crack in his gem, but-”

“Will you shut up already, Ford?” Stan asked with a disgruntled scowl. “The kid’s come up with just about the only actual plan I’ve heard thrown around here could actually have a shot at working. I say we give it a try.”

“Same here,” Garnet agreed. “It’s far better than doing nothing.”

“Yeah, but could it actually work?” Amethyst asked with an uncertain frown. 

Garnet shrugged. “I guess we’ll just have to wait and see,” she said, finally mustering a smile for Mabel to show her confidence in her plan. 

“Well, I suppose in the meantime we could always continue looking further into the situation to see if there’s anything else we can do,” Pearl suggested. “J-just in case, of course.”

“Yeah, that’s a great idea!” Mabel surprisingly agreed. “You guys can keep looking at the sciency/Gem side of things, while I take over as the first official self-appointed Memory Captain?”

“Memory Captain?” Stepper spoke up, raising a confused eyebrow. 

“Yeah, ya know, cause I’m putting myself in charge of getting you your memories back, Ste-bro,” she grinned back at him. 

“Oh,” Stepper took a brief, tentative glance down. “Mabel, I-I don’t-”

“I know, I know, you don’t know what to say,” Mabel said with a knowing wave of her hand. “That’s fine, you can always thank me after you remember everything. Now come on,” she enthusiastically grabbed the fusion’s hand, pulling him off the couch as she headed for the door. “We’ve got a lot of work to do to get you back to normal.”

“Yes…” Ford muttered, fretfully looking over his notes as the pair headed out on their endeavor. An endeavor that had really no guarantee of working when it came to setting things right. “It seems as though we all do…”

“Ok, so you remember the day you first fused, fighting Peri’s robots… the time we fused… and when we raced Kevin and his friends… but you don’t remember what happened to you in the Nightmare Realm... did I get that all right?” Mabel asked, trying to make mental notes as the pair made their way down the hill toward the shack.

“Yeah, but I don’t really see what the big deal is?” Stepper shrugged. “I mean, those are all the things that have ever happened to me, right?”

“Those are all the things that have happened to Stepper…” Mabel mused with a dawning realization. 

“Yeah, which… is me,” Stepper nodded, silently wishing that everyone would stop referring to him as if he wasn’t actually present at all. 

“So, you only remember what’s happened while you were you,” Mabel continued down her newfound train of thought. “While you were fused! So… does that mean… you don’t remember anything that happened before this summer?!”

“I… don’t know. What happened before this summer?”

“Everything!” Mabel cried, spinning around to face him with a desperate, shaken expression. “Our whole lives! Dipper and me growing up together in Piedmont, Steven living here with the Gems. You have two entire lives that you just… don’t even remember anymore…”

Stepper wasn’t sure what to say to this as he glanced down apprehensively. Even if he felt far out of the loop in regards to what Mabel was saying, if there was one thing he did understand, it was that he hated seeing her so dejected and despondent. “Hey,” his voice was gentle as he knelt down to her level. “I may not really get what’s going on here with all of this memory stuff, a-and I may not know who… y-your two friends are. But, at least I still know you. Isn’t that enough?”

Mabel stilled, her pressing tears frozen from falling as she looked to the fusion with another wave of painful realization. “S-Stepper… do you know who I am to you?” she asked, almost scared to hear the answer. 

“O-of course I do,” Stepper stood, though even as he did his expression betrayed his bewilderment. “Y-you’re… um… I… you… you’re… someone really important to me…”

“Yeah, but how?” Mabel pressed. “How do you know me?”

Stepper stammered, shaking his head as he pressed a hand to his head, searching for an answer he couldn’t quite find. “I-I don’t know…” he admitted, his voice almost a whisper as he spoke. “I just… do…”

Mabel forced back a mournful sob at this, yet even so she rushed in to tightly embrace the fusion, who readily returned it, a fact that only served to strike at her aching heart even more than his answer already had. “It’s ok, Ste-bro,” she assured so quietly her voice was barely even audible. “I’ll help you figure it out.”

Even though he wasn’t entirely sure why, Stepper’s first thought was to thank her for her dedication, though he didn’t get much of a chance to before their hug was interrupted as something soft suddenly bumped into him from behind. “Huh?” he relinquished his hold on Mabel, turning to find the large pink beast standing behind him. “Ah! W-what is that thing?!” he exclaimed fearfully, rushing to take cover behind Mabel. 

“Uh, that’s just Lion,” Mabel said, stepping over to scratch the pink beast behind the ear. 

“Y-yeah, I know it’s a lion,” Stepper said, all four of his arms held in front of him defensively as he looked to Lion incredulously. “But why is it here? And why is it pink?”

“Wait,” Mabel frowned, pausing briefly to quiet Lion’s sudden quiet growling before she turned back to the fusion. “You mean… you don’t remember Lion either?”

“Uh, I’ve never seen that thing before,” Stepper said anxiously. “I’m pretty sure I would remember a huge pink lion.”

“But… Lion’s your…” Mabel trailed off before letting out a soft, stunned gasp. “Stepper’s never met Lion before…” she whispered, largely to herself. She was quick to shake the pressing thought of what or who else he might not remember away, instead taking the fusion by the hand once more to expedite their trip down to the Mystery Shack. “Come on,” she said, her tone rather solemn as they continued onward. “It looks like you’ve got more remembering to do than I thought…”

It didn’t take very long for the pair to reach the shack, with Lion trailing not too far behind them as he kept a close, somewhat distrustful watch on Stepper all the while. The fusion returned that watch, unsure of what the pink beast might do, even though Mabel assured him several times over that he was completely tame. Still, Lion was content enough to wait outside as Stepper and Mabel ventured inside the shack through the gift shop, though in doing so, they happened to encounter their pair of employees waiting around inside. 

“Oh! Mabel, you’re finally back!” Soos greeted with a smile as he took a break from sweeping. “How’s it goin’, hambone? Did you guys finally find Dipper and Steven?”

“From the looks of it, I’d say they did,” Wendy said, allayed as Stepper entered right behind Mabel. 

“Ah ah ah, correction, Wendy; that’s Stepper,” Soos pointed out. 

“Finally, someone gets it,” Stepper sighed somewhat wearily before he offered the pair a casual wave. “Hey, Soos. Hey, Wendy. What’s up?”

“Whaaaa?!” Mabel gasped, looking at the fusion in awe at this. “You remember Soos and Wendy but you don’t remember Lion?!”

“Uh… yeah, I guess?” Stepper said, still not sure of what the significance of that fact was. 

Though Mabel was baffled into silence at this, Soos and Wendy had their fair share of questions from the very start. “Whoa, hold on,” Wendy started first. “What do you mean remember?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t Stepper remember us?” Soos inquired, just as curious. “I mean, I know he’s a totally awesome Gem fusion, but he’s still Steven and Dipper, right?”

“Ugh… and there it is again…” Stepper muttered, crossing his lower arms upon hearing this bizarre claim once more. 

“Yeah, but… he’s the only one who doesn’t really think so anymore…” Mabel sighed sadly. “He doesn’t remember either of them. Or that he’s even a fusion at all…”

“What?!” Soos and Wendy exclaimed in shared alarm, both of them looking to Stepper in apt worry as they unloaded their flood of questions at a hectic pace. 

“So he doesn’t remember who he is? Dude…”

“What happened to him?”

“But he remembered us, so… what’s that all about?”

“Oh my gosh! Look at his gem! Who did that?”

“Does that hurt? Is he gonna be ok?”

“H-hey, I am ok,” Stepper finally spoke up to stem the tide of questions he had no answers for. “We’re-”

“We’re gonna get to the bottom of this and fix it,” Mabel cut him off, grabbing his arm once more as she began leading him through the gift shop. 

“Well, if you need any help, just ask,” Wendy offered firmly. 

“Yeah, anything for Steven and Dipper, dude,” Soos solidly agreed. 

But nothing for me, I guess… Stepper thought, not even bothering to voice the notion aloud this time. 

“Thanks, you guys,” Mabel called back as she continued pulling Stepper along. “We’ll keep you posted on what happens.”

Soos and Wendy offered the pair their well wishes as they headed out, with Mabel wasting no time in rushing upstairs to the attic with Stepper following not too far behind her. “Hey, Mabel?” he began tentatively as they arrived in the bedroom. “Can we, uh… talk for a second?”

“We sure can,” Mabel replied as she began looking through her half of the room. “Just as soon as I find--aha! Here it is!” She plopped down onto the rug on the floor with her summer scrapbook, motioning for Stepper to join her so he could take a look. “My scrapbook here is bound to help you remember something. Like this!” she pointed to a picture of Steven helping Dipper look through the journal quite some time ago. “This is the first picture I took of Steven and Dipper this summer. Back when we were trying to stop that red eye thingy from crashing into Gravity Falls. You remember that?”

“No, I… don’t,” Stepper shook his head, though Mabel was quick to continue. 

“O-ok, well, you’ve gotta remember this,” she turned to a page depicting all three of them playing with what seemed to be some sort of antique mirror. “When we found that mirror Lapis was trapped in and saved her? Then we saved the lake from her? Steven healed her and she went back to space, to Homeworld! And Dipper found her when she came back and me and him saved Steven and the Gems from Jasper and Peridot! It was huge, high-stakes, really dangerous, you’ve gotta remember that!”

“Mabel, I really wish I knew what you were talking about, but I don’t,” Stepper sighed, not recognizing a single moment among the countless photos she kept showing him. 

“Malachite! There’s no way you can’t remember Malachite!” Mabel kept going almost manically. “Dipper made a deal with Bill to try to free Lapis from her fusion with Jasper but Bill possessed his body. We saved him, and then it wasn’t too long after that that the portal Grunkle Stan was hiding under the shack opened and we met Grunkle Ford for the first time. Then we caught Peridot after she fused with Bill to make Pyrite; Steven and Dipper were the ones who stopped them! Then Dipper and the Gems stopped Malachite, while Peri, Steven, and I stopped the Cluster. We all saved the day! Everything should be fine now! B-but… it’s not…” She could feel her eyes growing wet with oncoming tears once more as she forced herself to look away from the proof of their triumph. A triumph that felt all but hollow now in light of what had just been lost. 

Stepper was quick to reach out a hand to comfort her, though he stopped short upon noticing one of the several pictures decorating the page of the scrapbook they were on. The same photo Mabel had shown him earlier at the temple, one of whom she had said were Steven and Dipper themselves. 

Carefully, while Mabel was distracted, Stepper lifted the photo out of the book to get a better view of it. He studied it carefully, taking in the pair of boys depicted on it, their shared smiles warm and cheerful as they stood with their arms resting on each other's shoulders. There was no doubt that, whoever they were, they were close, best friends perhaps, though he wasn’t quite sure. And while they did bear something of a passing semblance to him in different ways, even as Stepper stared at the photo for what felt like ages, not a single thing about either of these boys so much as minutely registered in his memories. He didn’t know them. He couldn’t be them. He wasn’t them. He knew that. 

And yet… he couldn’t deny the small burst of longing emptiness that filled him when he looked at them all the same. 

“Y-you can keep that if you want to,” Mabel suddenly spoke up, noticing just how captivated the fusion was by the photo. “Maybe it might help you remember them…”

Stepper didn’t respond to this, instead keeping his sights set on her as he tucked the photo safely away inside his vest. At the same time, Mabel took in a deep, steadying breath as she closed her scrapbook, a newfound smile overtaking her expression as she stood with another new idea in mind. 

“Well, if I can’t get you to remember, then maybe we can find someone else who can,” she concluded, grinning at Stepper as he also stood up. “And I just so happen to know a handful of people who are super important to Steven and Dipper that just might be able to help.”

“But Mabel, I-”

“I know you’re worried, Ste-bro,” Mabel said, taking his lower hands in hers. “T-to be honest, I am too. But I promise you, I’m not gonna rest until you’re back to who you’re supposed to be. Now let’s get going! We’ve got places to be and people to see!”

With that, Mabel ran off, leading the way and leaving Stepper with no real choice but to follow. Still, before he did, he hesitated, taking a moment to pull the photo of Steven and Dipper out one more time as he felt another wave of what almost felt like loneliness washed over him. Loneliness and perhaps, even a bit of bitterness as well. “Who I’m supposed to be…” he repeated softly to the photo, shaking his head before he ultimately put it away.

“Kon'nichiwa! You’ve reached Connie Maheswaran. I’m currently on a week-long vacation in Japan and don’t have international coverage, which is why I’m unable to answer your call at this time. Please leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I’ve returned to the country. Thank you and Sayōnara!”

“Ugh, of all the times for her to be on vacation…” Mabel muttered to herself as she listened to Connie’s voicemail before leaving her message. “Uh, h-hey, Connie. H-how’s Tokyo? Um, look, we’ve kind of got a bit of a… situation going on here, so if you do somehow manage to find somewhere where you have coverage before you get back, could maybe call me back, like… as soon as possible? Thanks, bye.”

Mabel let out a sigh as she hung up just as Stepper caught up with her along the trail that led toward town “Hey, who were you talking to?” he asked, curiously. 

“Connie,” she answered, letting out a sigh of disappointment. “Or at least I was trying to talk to her… It’s sort of hard to do since she’s on the other side of the ocean right now.”

“Connie…” Stepper repeated thoughtfully. “I know her.”

“You do?!” Mabel gasped with a bit of newfound hope. 

“Yeah,” the fusion nodded. “She was there during that race, just like you were, remember?”

“N-no, Stepper, she’s...” Mabel trailed off with a small sigh. “C-Connie’s one of our best friends. The four of us: me, Dipper, Steven, and Connie, we’re the Mystery Kids. You remember being one--or two I guess, of the Mystery Kids… right?”

“Mabel, I know you want me to say yes, but-”

“I-I know,” Mabel closed her eyes, largely in an attempt at blocking away tears. “You don’t. I-its ok. We’ll figure this out.”

“That’s what you keep saying…” Stepper muttered, rubbing one of his upper arms. 

“In fact, we might figure it out right now,” Mabel perked up as they finally arrived in town. Or rather, to the car wash sitting on the nearest edge of town. “Mr. Universe!?” she called as she ran up to the former rock star’s van and knocked on its back door. “Are you home?”

Fortunately, Greg was home as he burst out of the back of the van, disheveled and exhausted after days of a largely fruitless search for his missing son. “Oh! Mabel, it’s you,” he said, running a hand through his messy locks. “A-any word on the boys yet? Have the Gems found them?”

“Well, y-yeah, sort of…” Mabel replied rather anxiously as she glanced behind her to see Stepper joining them. “But…”

“Huh?” Greg looked to Stepper, initially confused before he quickly gathered who was standing before him. “Ohhh... I get it; they fused!”

“Heh, yeah…” Mabel let out an uncomfortable laugh. “Mr. Universe, t-this is Stepper.”

“Stepper, huh?” Greg said with a small sigh of relief as he stepped out of his van. “It’ve heard about you from Steven. Nice to finally meet you in person. And even better to see you’re both safe and sound.” 

At this, the fusion was caught off guard as the former rock star wrapped him into a tight, protective embrace. One that he didn’t really make any move to return. “Um… it’s nice to meet you too, sir,” he said stiffly, awkwardly even. 

“Sir?” Greg chuckled as he pulled away from the fusion, wiping away a few tears. “You don’t have to be so formal with me. I am your dad after all. I-in a way. Partially. I think? Hm…”

“Wait, you are?” Stepper asked, baffled by this information. 

“Yes…?” Greg’s smile was quick to disappear at this. “I mean, I’m definitely Steven’s dad, at least, so-”

“Uh, M-Mr. Universe?” Mabel interjected fretfully, hesitating to even deliver the horrific news to the former rock star at all. Even if she knew she had to. “Something happened and, um… well, Stepper doesn’t really… remember a whole lot right now. He doesn’t think he’s a fusion, a-and he doesn’t remember Steven or Dipper either…”

“W-what…?” Greg balked, aptly distraught as he looked Stepper over. “B-but he’s…” The former rock star let out a shaken gasp as he finally noticed the fusion’s fractured gemstone. “Y-your gem… what… what happened to it? Is this why y-you can’t…?”

Stepper had no answer for these almost tearful questions, though thankfully Mabel spoke to them instead. “It’s a… long story…” she sighed sadly. “Grunkle Ford and the Gems do think it is the reason why his memories are all wonky, b-but we’re trying to fix them, and I thought bringing him to you might help him at least remember Steven, but…”

“D-did it work?” Greg pressed, looking to Stepper with hope and desperation in his voice alike. “Do you remember me? D-do you remember Steven?”

Stepper could easily see the grief rising in the expression of the man standing before him, and though he couldn’t really claim to know this man, he still couldn’t help but feel guilty for that grief all the same. And yet, he didn’t dare lie to him, knowing that doing so, that giving him false hope for something that would ultimately be just an act, a falsehood, a meager attempt at replicating what he didn’t even truly believe he’d really lost. “N-no…” he admitted sympathetically, apologetically. “I don’t… I’m sorry.”

Try as he might, Greg was completely helpless against the heavy sob that escaped him as he collapsed to take a seat in the back of the van. His expression was rife with tearful grief as he averted his gaze away from the fusion that was partially composed of his son. His son, who didn’t remember his father, who didn’t even remember himself, it seemed. “W-why… how…” he choked out another sob, his face buried in his hands all the while. “H-how does he just… not remember who he is? T-that’s not how fusions work, r-right?”

“N-no, it’s not…” Mabel said quietly. “L-like I said, we don’t really know how this happened. B-but don’t worry; we’re all working on a way to figure this out and get his memories back. Aren’t we, Stepper?”

Stepper hesitated to give a proper answer to this, especially as he met Greg’s heartbroken gaze once more. While he had leaned into honesty earlier, the fusion couldn’t help but offer up something of a lie now, all in the hopes of easing that heartbreak at least a little. “R-right…” he said softly as he glanced away. 

“R-right,” Greg added with a small, resigned sigh. He offered the pair a grateful smile, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes, particularly as he regarded Stepper once more. “Uh… I-I...better go check in with the Gems about all this.” He stood to head to the front of the van, clearly struggling to be near his “son” in such a forgetful state. “I-I’ll see you kids around…” 

The former rock star didn’t see much else before getting into the van and driving off toward the temple, in the hopes of getting a more complete picture of what was happening from the Gems. As well as further reassurance that something was being done to fix it. At the same time, Mabel and Stepper set out from the car wash, their manner equally solemn as they began to wander out toward the lake with no real set purpose in mind.

“Mabel?” Stepper began as he stopped, his expression awash in fretful woe. 

“Yeah, Stepper?” 

“I… I feel bad for that Mr. Universe guy…” the fusion glanced back at the direction Greg’s van had gone. “He was so… sad, just like you and the Gems were before. A-and I know you’re going to tell me it’s not, but… I know i-it’s all my fault…”

“Stepper, no,” Mabel was quick to reassure him as she grabbed his lower set of arms. “None of this is your fault; it’s Bill’s! You’re not-”

“I’m not who you want me to be,” Stepper said quickly, firmly as he pulled his hands away. “I’m just not. I’m sorry.”

“N-no, you… you are, you just don’t remember-”

“Mabel, please,” Stepper stopped her, letting out an irritated huff as he did. “Can we just sto-”

“Mabel?!”

The tension rising between the two fell apart as quickly as the conversation itself did as this call reached them from just a short way down the street. “Pacifica!” Mabel shouted back to the heiress as she ran up to her, phone in hand. 

“I-I just got your text,” Pacifica began breathlessly. “You said you found him? You found Dipper?!”

“W-well, yeah…” Mabel began tentatively. “But Pacifica, he’s not-”

“Where is he?!” the heiress pressed, immensely concerned for her boyfriend’s wellbeing. “Is he ok? Is he… he…” She trailed off, her eyes wide and her jaw dropped in awe as she happened to glance over at the fusion. Or, as far as she knew, the strangely four-armed, yet very handsome young man standing alongside Mabel. “H-hey…” she greeted him, her face suddenly feeling hot for reasons she couldn’t begin to explain. 

“Hi,” he offered her a small wave and a smile, one that practically made her melt when she thought about who it reminded her of. 

“Oh, uh… P-Pacfica, this is Stepper-” Mabel filled in, though she was quickly interrupted. 

“Stepper…” Pacifica repeated in the form of a small, almost wistful sigh. “You look familiar…”

“You… don’t,” Stepper replied, his smile faltering somewhat. 

“She should be familiar, Stepper,” Mabel sighed tiredly. “Pacifica is Dipper’s girlfriend. A-and, well, you see, Pacifica, Stepper here is a fusion.”

“Oh?” Pacifica was barely listening, her sights still set on Stepper as she broke out into a soft, fond smile. 

“Yeah, h-he’s actually… Steven and Dipper.”

“Oh,” the heiress blinked, this information finally breaking her out of whatever unintentional trance the fusion had somehow put her under. “Oh! Oh. Ohhhh my gosh, this is… embarrassing.” Her already palpable blush deepened exponentially as she finally tore her flustered gaze away from Stepper. “I… mean, if that’s true, then you are technically my boyfriend, but you’re also not, a-and, ugh, this whole fusion thing is so confusing, I don’t know how any of you manage to keep it all straight.”

“Well, most of the time, it’s pretty easy, but this is a little… different,” Mabel said, biting her lip. “For starters, Stepper… doesn’t really remember who Steven and Dipper are right now. A-and… I don’t think he would know who you are either, Pacifica, since Stepper has never met you for himself until now.”

“W-what…?” Pacifica asked in newfound fear, especially as she met Stepper’s rather oblivious expression once more. That fear only grew as she realized the only boy she’d ever truly liked, perhaps even more than liked, might very well be lost to her forever. “You… don’t know who I am?”

Stepper faltered, seeing that familiar kind of grief well up in the heiress’ eyes. Grief that he kept bringing to just about everyone he encountered, it seemed. “I… no, I don’t…” he answered simply, averting her pleading gaze. 

Those words might as well have been knives for how sharp and painful they were when they hit Pacifica’s heart. She usually wasn’t one to openly display her emotions in public, but right now, there was no stopping the steady tears that fell as she realized her fears were all-too true. “H-how… how did this happen?” she asked Mabel, trying to make sense of something so unimaginable. 

“Well, Steven and Dipper got sucked into a portal to the Nightmare Realm, where Bill-”

“Wait, what?” Pacifica interjected, confused. “Nightmare Realm? Bill? What are you talking about?”

“Ugh, seriously? Dipper’s never told you about Bill before?” Pacifica shook her head, eliciting another exasperated groan out of Mabel as she facepalmed. “How many times have I told him? The key to a healthy relationship is communication. Even if that communication is about a crazy, vengeance-driven dream demon who stole his body and tried killing all of us!” Her manner was still quite severe as she turned to Stepper, who was every bit as out of the loop as Pacifica currently was. “As soon as you remember yourself, you’re getting a stern talking-to about this, mister!”

“Um… what?” Stepper asked, absolutely lost.

“Anyway,” Mabel took in a deep breath as she turned back to Pacifica. “The whole thing’s kind of a mess, but-” She stopped short as she heard a sudden loud choke of a sob escape the heiress. “P-Pacifica?”

For her part, Pacifica had taken Stepper’s lower hands into hers, her expression awash in misery as she stared up into his sympathetic, but unknowing eyes. Eyes that were a far cry from those of the boy she had fallen for, and yet... “Y-you… look so much like him…” she whispered mournfully. “B-but you’re not him… are you?”

Stepper nearly answered this, but just before he could, Mabel was quick to step in with some much-needed reassurance. “He is Dipper. And Steven,” she said firmly, almost as if she was trying to convince herself of that fact too. “And I promise that I’m doing everything I can to help him remember that. To help him remember everything.”

This promise did serve to ease Pacifica’s frayed nerves a bit, though far from entirely when she thought about the possibility that there was still a chance, however unbearable, that Dipper might be gone for good. “I-is there anything I can do to help?”

“I’ll let you know if there is,” Mabel said, pulling the heiress into a comforting hug, one that she surprisingly accepted in her dejected state. 

“Thank you…” Pacifica whispered as she parted from Mabel, only to catch Stepper by surprise with a sudden embrace before she left. “Come back to me…” she whispered to him, or rather, to Dipper, someone who couldn’t even hear her to begin with. “Please…”

Stepper had no idea what to even say to this, even as Pacifica pulled away from him, tears still in her eyes as she silently began to walk away. He felt guilty as he watched her go, and though he would have even liked to have said that he felt longing, he didn’t. Because he didn’t know her. Because he didn’t know them. Because he didn’t know much at all, it seemed. 

Mabel said nothing to him as she turned to continue on her way. And once again, Stepper found that he had no choice but to follow. 

The next part of Mabel’s plan wasn’t exactly the most solid, but it was still a plan all the same, one that involved taking Stepper around Gravity Falls in the hopes that familiar places might somehow jog his missing memories. They started downtown, passing by spots Steven and Dipper had once frequented, from Funland Arcade to Greasy’s Diner to Gravity Fries to the museum. For his part, Stepper hardly noticed any of the peculiar glances that were sent his way over his extra set of arms. Instead, he went along for the ‘Grand Gravity Falls Tour’ as Mabel put it, quietly appreciating the sights she showed him and the stories behind each one. Stories that she claimed he had been a part of, or his supposed halves had, rather, even if he didn’t remember a single one. 

The lake and the forest were by far his favorite stops along the tour however. The lake’s peaceful waters were a much-needed comfort after the hectic day he’d been having. If it had been up to him, he would have spent the rest of the afternoon soaking up the warm summer sun on their soft, sandy shores, staring out across the glistening water all the while. But then Mabel pulled him into the forest, filled with secrets and magic and surprises at every turn, or at least that’s what she told him. Stepper, however, felt a different kind of magic wafting through the trees, one that was perhaps a bit mythical, but every bit as special all the same. The easy summer breezes were gentle as they blew through the trees, lightly skimming his face every bit as much as the small specks of sunlight spilling in through the trees above did. And for what felt for the first time amidst the few memories he had to his name, he actually noticed that breeze, noticed the birds chirping on the branches above him, noticed the sweet scent of summer blossoms, notice the bright blue vibrancy of the handful of forget-me-nots he casually picked along the way. 

And as he noticed it all, he couldn’t help but think how lucky he was to be there amidst it all. To be himself, even with barely any memories to speak of, even with gaping, glaring holes in what few memories he did have. To be someone somewhere as beautiful as this. Each new moment he lived in, each new memory he created he couldn’t help but treasure between the far too few he’d had before. And the more memories he made, however minute and minuscule they might have been, he couldn’t help but want to make more. He couldn’t help but want to be more, to show everyone that he was more than just two faces he still couldn’t quite place. Two faces that everyone kept telling him he was when the only glimpse he’d ever had of them was by way of a simple faded photograph. 

Despite what everyone kept telling him, what everyone wanted out of him, Stepper couldn’t help but want to be nobody else other than himself. 

The sun was setting by the time the pair found themselves arriving back at the Mystery Shack, though they soon found that they weren’t the only ones doing so. For just as they were approaching the shack, a certain green Gem happened to suddenly faceplant right into the lawn before them. Peridot quickly recovered, however, pulling herself to her feet as she rushed over to Mabel first. 

“Maaaaaaabel! I received your textual communication via the ‘interweb’,” she frantically explained, pulling her tablet out. 

“Uh… you mean the email I sent you?” Mabel frowned, confused. 

“Yes!” Peridot nodded vigorously. “And it looks like it’s true. You really did find Steven and Dipper after all! Though do they really need to be fused into, ugh, the Stepper?”

“It’s good to see you too, Peridot,” Stepper regarded the green Gem almost dryly. 

“W-well, at least you remember Peri,” Mabel said to the fusion with something of a forced grin. 

“Remember me?” Peridot raised an eyebrow. “What are you talking about?”

Before Mabel could get a chance to explain, Lapis suddenly flew in, her manner tense and anxious as she let her aquatic wings disappear the moment she landed. “You said Dipper and Steven are back,” she grabbed Mabel by the shoulders, her eyes wide as they betrayed her clear worry just as much as her tone did. “We’ve been out looking for them all day and night. Are they ok? Where are they?!”

“Uh, well…” Mabel trailed off, unsure of how to explain the situation to Lapis, of all Gems, as she briefly glanced over at Stepper. 

“Wait, w-what?” the blue Gem’s gaze jumped to the fusion as well. “Who is this? What’s going on?”

“That’s the Stepper,” Peridot remarked, crossing her arms. 

“Stepper?” 

“H-he’s a fusion,” Mabel explained apprehensively. “O-Of… Dipper and Steven.”

Lapis gasped, taking a stumbling step back away from Stepper upon hearing this, even though her focus remained on him all the while. “W-what? D-Dipper and Steven can fuse? B-but how? Wait… w-why is their gem cracked?! Can’t they heal it like Steven did for mine?! Does it hurt? C-can you unfuse?! Can you-”

“Um… a-actually, Lapis,” Mabel winced, well aware of the panic welling up in the blue Gem’s eyes. “S-Stepper can’t unfuse right now. N-not with his gem like, well, t-that…”

Lapis shuddered, gripping the fusion’s upper arms tightly as she pleaded with him almost painfully. “C-can either of you hear me in there?!” she asked tightly, desperately as Stepper met her anxious gaze with startled surprise. “It’s ok! You can unfuse! You don’t have to be stuck together like I was stuck to-” She cut herself off, shaking her head against the remnant terror even just thinking of Malachite always managed to bring her. “P-please, just… unfuse, for me. I need to see you, both of you. Please.”

Stepper frowned at this, faced with another pang of guilt he had no idea how to ease as he pulled himself away from the frantic blue Gem. “I-I’m sorry but… do I know you?” 

“Oh no…” Mabel whispered worriedly as she watched Lapis freeze up in shock over such a piercing question. 

“W-what… what are you talking about?” the blue Gem asked, her entire body trembling with dread by this point. “O-of course you know me. Both of you do! It’s me: Lapis! R-remember?!”

“I-I don’t, but please, d-don’t feel bad about that,” Stepper tried to ease her obvious despair. “I’ve been meeting a lot of new people today, so-”

“I’m not a new person, NOT to either YOU!” Lapis shouted at him, suddenly furious as she turned to interrogate Mabel. “What’s the matter with them!? What happened?!”

“I-it was Bill,” Mabel answered, flinching over just how enraged Lapis was amidst her grief. At the same time, she heard Peridot let out a poignant squeak of fear the moment the dream demon’s name was so much as mentioned, understandable after what he’d put her through before. 

“T-that demon Dipper told me about the other day?” Lapis asked, her eyes narrowing. 

“Y-yeah,” Mabel nodded gravely. “Steven and Dipper got sucked into his dimension a-and they must have fused to try and fight him b-but… he cracked Stepper’s gem and we’re thinking that might have done something to his memories? But… we’re not sure. I’ve been working on helping him remember stuff all day, but-”

“H-he did this to them…” Lapis suddenly spoke, her voice but a low, intense whisper as her hands tightened into tense fists at her sides. “Wasn’t it enough for that… that monster to steal Dipper’s body?! He had to crack Steven’s gem too!? And now he’s got them both trapped... in a fusion of all things, without any of their memories?!” Lapis’ breathing was harsh and heavy as she paced around hotly, her hands pressed against her head as her anger only seemed to rise toward a rapid boiling point. 

“L-Lapis?” Peridot dared to speak up, reaching a trembling hand toward the blue Gem, though it never reached her. 

“We have to get their memories back,” Lapis said rigidly, still absolutely livid as she spun around to face the others. “And we have to make him pay for what he’s done to them. I wasn’t around to protect them from him before but I am not about to let him get away with hurting either of them any more!”

“L-Lapis…” Mabel attempted to interact before Peridot spoke up in her place. 

“A-are you crazy?!” she asked, terrified and incredulous. “You can’t just go up against someone like…” she hesitated, letting the dream demon’s name out in a feeble whisper, lest he was somehow listening in. “B-Bill Cipher. He’s a madman! A lunatic, who-”

“I don’t care!” Lapis snapped fiercely. “I told Dipper that I would never let that guy mess with him again, and I meant that. I don’t care if I have to go face him all by myself, I will, for them, to get back what they lost. Wouldn’t you?”

Peridot flinched at such a harshly asked question, one that she was hard pressed to answer given her prior daunting experience with the dream demon in question. “I-I…” she hesitated, and that was all the ammunition Lapis needed. 

“Don’t you care about them?!” she accused, overwhelmed by her fury more than anything else. Fury that she had to place somewhere, even if she couldn’t actually fire it at the one who really deserved it at the moment. “Don’t either of them matter to you?! Why wouldn’t you want to do anything in your power to help them!?”

“I-I do!” Peridot protested earnestly. “O-of course I do! I-I want to help them, just like you do, but I-I just… I… I can’t…”

“Why not?” Lapis hissed between gritted teeth. 

Peridot paused, her eyes wide with fear as she glanced over at Mabel. For her own part, Mabel was quite shaken by the intensity of the ongoing argument, as was Stepper, even if he was largely lost when it came to its subject. Still, Mabel offered Peridot a silent nod of solidarity, prompting her to finally have a discussion with Lapis that she’d been trying to avoid since they’d moved into the barn together. A discussion she’d been trying to avoid having with anyone, really. 

“S-Stepper, it’s… getting kinda late,” Mabel whispered to the fusion as she began to lead him back toward the shack. “W-we should head inside…”

Stepper didn’t argue, though as he left with Mabel, he did cast a silent, sympathetic glance over his shoulder at the pair of Gems that remained outside as Peridot began to weave a story of woe that she believed was best left forgotten. “I-I… suppose I just come right out and say it…” the green Gem glanced down guiltily. “I’ve… fused with… with Bill Cipher before…”

Needless to say that Lapis was stunned upon hearing this, her former fury stalled as an entirely new type of anger filled in its place. “You… what?” she asked, her voice barely louder than a whisper. 

“I-It was a mistake! A-a complete and total mistake that I’m incredibly ashamed of, you need to know that above all else!” Peridot implored her anxiously. “H-he promised me he’d get me back to Homeworld, h-he said he was working in league with the Diamonds (and he is by the way, that’s just about the only thing he wasn’t lying about). But he-””

“A-and you said yes?! You let him fuse with you?!” Lapis asked, baffled. 

“I-I understand how foolish it sounds in retrospect, b-but at the time, Pyrite seemed like the perfect proposition!” Peridot took a nervous step back. “I-it wasn’t of course, e-especially after he took control a-and forced me to the wayside. H-he essentially trapped me inside my own gem with him! T-that’s just what he does, from what I’ve heard. He traps you in situations you can’t get out of, n-not without having to ask him for his “help”. That’s what he did to me, a-and I’m willing to bet that’s what he did to Steven and Dipper too…”

Lapis’s anger finally cooled somewhat at this, her expression falling into sudden solace at this as she let out a long, remorseful sigh over her previous thoughtless behavior. “P-Peridot, I… I had no idea…” she said quietly. “I’m… I’m sorry…”

“You’re not the one who needs to be sorry,” Peridot’s manner turned resolved as she offered the blue Gem a supportive smile. “I-I may not be strong or brave enough to face Cipher again, but Lapis, you… I know you are, for both of us! If there’s anyone who can help Steven and Dipper now, it’s you. Well, and Mabel and Garnet and Amethyst and Pearl and Ford and--”

“Ok, ok, I get it,” Lapis said with a small chuckle. 

“B-but I also want you to know that I’m willing to do whatever I can to help on this end of things,” Peridot affirmed. “So, what do you say we figure out how to take a dastardly demon down a peg?”

“I’m in,” Lapis readily agreed, calling upon her wings before she took Peridot’s hands and hoisted her up into the air. And together, both Gems headed off toward the Crystal Temple, hoping that they weren’t too late to join the cause to stop Bill and save Steven and Dipper in the process. 

For the rest of the evening, neither Stan nor Ford were anywhere to be found; the same could be said of the Gems, and though Mabel half wanted to look for them, she knew she had nothing new to report to them anyway. Stepper’s lack of memories was still just as apparent as it had been from the time they’d found him earlier that day. A painful reminder that only got all the more agonizing whenever she happened to bring up something the fusion had no recollection of, only to receive yet another blank stare, another question of confusion, another piece of proof that he had lost touch with who he really was. 

So eventually, Mabel stopped trying, at least for tonight, as exhaustion finally began to catch up with her. After all, while Steven and Dipper had been missing, she hadn’t exactly been getting the best sleep, if any at all. And though she still felt incredibly restless and anxious, she knew weighing herself down by tiredness would do nothing to help Stepper, Steven, or Dipper alike. So she decided to turn in early for the night, encouraging Stepper to do the same as she led him back up to the attic. 

“S-so… it’s been a pretty long, less than successful day, b-but that alright,” Mabel let out a sharp breath as she jumped up onto her bed. “We can always keep trying tomorrow and who knows? Maybe a good night’s sleep will help you out in the memory department.”

“Uh… right…” Stepper said halfheartedly as he took to the empty bed across from her. He slipped off his vest and cap and made an attempt at laying out on the bed, only for his legs to end up dangling over the edge rather substantially. “Huh. Bed’s too short…”

“Ha! That’s exactly what we said!” Mabel chuckled as she began to tuck herself in. 

“What who said?”

Mabel’s fond smile was quick to fade at this, not even really needing to ask herself whether or not Stepper would even remember Maven in his current state. After all, the only thing he really seemed to remember in any sort of detail was himself. “N-no one…” she said with a small, sad sigh as she rolled onto her other side to face away from the fusion. “It’s... no one…”

“Mabel?” Stepper pressed, though he received no answer from her this time. So instead, he let out a soft sigh of his own as he turned the desk lamp off and laid down, his feet still hanging off the edge of the bed as all four of his hands rested against his chest. Briefly, he glanced down at the cracked gemstone on his stomach, its fractured, dull pink looking paler than ever against the moonlight shining in through the window above him. 

He wasn’t sure he entirely believed in his connections to the people who claimed to know him that he’d never even seen before and he sincerely doubted the idea of him being a fusion between two boys he didn’t know a thing about. But if there was one thing Stepper was certain of, it was the deep, unhealable crack in the stone on his gut. A crack that he hadn’t the faintest idea about where it came from. Everyone claimed that “Bill” person was responsible for it, but Stepper didn’t know him, didn’t know anything of him other than the claim that he was bad news and everyone who knew of him seemed to hate him relentlessly. And even if that was what everyone was claiming, Stepper still wanted to know for himself, still wanted to reclaim that apparently missing memory above all else. Because unlike his supposed identity as “Steven” and “Dipper” there was at the very least, actual proof that crack actually existed--he didn’t need to look any further than his stomach for that. Yet for as present as the crack itself was, it was still such a mystery to him, a mystery that he wanted to solve, that he felt like he needed to solve to fill that lingering, aching sense of emptiness within him. Far more than he needed to know the two boys everyone kept telling him he was. 

And then, suddenly, completely out of nowhere, a flash. A sharp and sudden gasp he took in as a burst of unknown, yet somehow familiar pain seized him. And with that pain, with that gasp, came that flash, like a dream, no a memory of something he didn’t recognize, something he didn’t know. Something sharp and dark, plummeting toward him, toward his gem as it touched it. As it slammed into it. 

As it cracked it.

And that was it. That was all he saw, all he was allowed to see. Because just like that it was over and he was back in the present, back in the bedroom, back in the mystery that left him perplexed and distressed and confused, feelings he’d been awash in all day. The only positive he could see was that the brief bout of pain he’d felt faded as though it had never fallen upon him whatsoever. But that hardly left him comforted when he considered where it had come from to begin with. He noticed that a few more cracks expanded over his skin surrounding his gem, thin pink lines tracing across his stomach as they further fractured a story that he only had the sparsest of pieces of. 

A story, a mystery he wondered if he’d ever truly be able to piece together to create the complete picture to.

Staying up all night was hardly anything new to either the Gems or Ford; it was something they had used to do together quite frequently back in their days of working on the portal together, however ill-fated that work ended up being. But their latest all-nighter had been spent on a much more important cause to all of them; namely, figuring out exactly what had happened to Stepper and how to fix it. 

“What do ya mean you don’t know?!” Amethyst huffed in extreme annoyance. The Gems stood anxiously by while Ford paced around his lab in the shack’s lowest level, his intensive search through all of his notes proving to be rather fruitless by most accounts. “Aren’t you supposed to know like, everything there is to know about Bill? You guys were good buddies back in the day after all, right?”

“I would hardly say that,” Ford scoffed bitterly. “And besides, Bill is an enigma, his true intentions in any given situation are anyone’s guess--well, aside from the fact that they’re always self-serving.”

“But what would Bill have to gain by doing this to Stepper?” Pearl asked, desperate for any sort of answers at this point. 

“His gem,” Garnet guessed. “Steven did say Bill tried taking it from him in his dream once before. Though we still don’t know why he’d want it in the first place.”

“But if Steven’s gem was what Bill was after, then certainly he would have taken it while he had the boys alone, without anyone to protect them,” Ford shook his head. “And I hate to even think about it, but it would have been easy for him to do so in the Nightmare Realm. He isn’t confined to the immaterial plane there like he would be here.”

“But he didn’t take the gem,” Pearl mused worriedly. “He cracked it… If he wants it so badly, why would he damage it on purpose? It doesn’t make any sense! Then again, considering this is Cipher we’re talking about, that’s hardly surprising…”

“Ok, so let’s just say Bill doesn’t want Steven’s gem after all,” Amethyst interjected, her arms crossed as she leaned up against a wall. “Why would he mess with Stepper’s memories and then just send him back here? I mean, the guy totally hates all of us, including Steven and Dipper. If he really wanted to mess with us in just about the worst way possible, he could have-”

“We know, Amethyst,” Ford interrupted, raising a hand to stop her before she could even voice such an awful thought aloud. “We know…”

“The crack in his gem must be connected to his lost memories and sense of identity,” Garnet theorized carefully. “But a fusion forgetting they are a fusion… it’s something I’ve even heard of before. The only explanation for that I can think of could be that Stepper’s mostly human. And that the crack is no longer damaging him physically only thanks to Rose’s fountain. But his mind… his memories… are still every bit as fractured as his gem itself is…”

“So… all we gotta do is figure out a way to heal his mind then?” Amethyst proposed, hopeful. “Easy.”

“So far that’s turning out to be easier said than done based on how Stepper was acting earlier…” Pearl noted fretfully. “As far as he was apparently concerned, Steven and Dipper might as well have not even ever existed!”

“He’s got to remember them eventually,” Garnet sighed, adjusting her shades. “That could be first and the only key to solving this.”

“A-and if it isn’t?” Amethyst dared to ask. It was a question none of the others even had an answer to however, for the possibility that Stepper simply remembering who he truly was not being enough to save him, to save them, was almost just as unimaginable as him not remembering them at all. 

“Regardless, I’m still troubled by Bill’s role in all this,” Ford continued with a sigh as he sank into his seat at the desk before where the portal had once sat. “He’s an absolute sadist, sure, but I don’t think he would have cracked Stepper’s gem without a reason, especially if he considers that gem to be a prize for him to obtain eventually. He had to have an ulterior motive, something else that he wants to…” The author trailed off, his eyes growing wide as he glanced up at the small desk cabinet just in front of him. A cabinet which was currently home to something else he knew without a doubt Bill wanted to get his hands on. 

“Stanford?” Pearl inquired, concerned. 

“I-I… I think I know why Bill did this…” Ford muttered, his tone shaken as grief started to slip into it. Grief over a secret he found he could keep no longer, at least not from the Gems. Not after what the burden of that secret had apparently done to two boys he cared so deeply about. “A-a few weeks ago I decided to entrust both Dipper and Steven with the knowledge of something I haven’t told anyone else about… until now…”

The Gems exchanged a confused glance as they watched Ford unlock his desk cabinet, only to pull out something that stunned all three of them alike. “Whoa…” Amethyst’s jaw dropped at the sight of the small, contained mass of moldable space. 

“F-Ford…” Pearl gasped, shocked by its sheer radiance. 

“That’s…” Garnet trailed off, shaking her head in disbelief. 

“I-its an interdimensional rift torn in space time,” Ford explained solemnly, his grip on the rift tight and secure. “I discovered it after dismantling the portal a-and of course I immediately did my best to contain it but… it still stands as a way, however small, for Bill to get into our dimension, just as much as the portal was before it. And, well… I don’t put torturing Steven and Dipper to get information as to its whereabouts out of them past Bill, quite frankly. So-”

“So you just knew about this incredibly dangerous rift all this time, and you didn’t even think to tell us about it?!” Pearl asked hotly, Garnet and Amethyst clearly sharing her frustration right off the bat. 

“Of course, I thought about it,” Ford countered as sternly as he could, though he knew defending his decision was going to be difficult. “I just… didn’t. Obviously.”

“But you told Steven and Dipper about it!” Amethyst pointed out harshly. “You know, two kids. What did think they were gonna do to protect this dumb thing if Bill ever came after it? Yeah, I know they can both fight and fuse, but come on, man, what were you thinking?!”

“I was thinking it was the right thing to do,” Ford said, desperately trying to believe that was still true, that it still was. But considering Stepper’s current condition… he didn’t entirely think that was a conviction he’d be able to hold onto for much longer. “I-I… I just thought that the fewer knew about it, the less danger it would pose.”

“You thought wrong,” Garnet finally spoke, her tone rigid, livid. She took a sudden step forward, catching the author off guard as she grabbed him by the collar of his sweater to hoist him up out of his seat. “Because look at where we are now, Stanford. Look at what’s happened to Stepper, to Steven and Dipper! He’s cracked, broken, stuck together; he doesn’t even remember who he’s made of! By burdening those boys--our boys--with this kind of dangerous information, you forfeited their safety. By not telling us about the rift in their stead, by not trusting us like you should have, you kept us from protecting them. And in doing so, you showed how little you really care about either of them. And how selfish you really are.”

With this, Garnet shoved Ford back into his seat, leaving him stunned and speechless as she began to make her way toward the elevator with Pearl and Amethyst following right behind her. None of the Gems had anything more to say to the author, yet he still wasn’t quite done as he carefully put the rift away and began to trail after them. “W-wait,” he implored, his voice weak and weary. The Gems did stop just as the elevator opened before them, each of them sending a cold glare back his way. Ford didn’t make much of an effort to apologize, knowing that such an effort would be meaningless against what they were facing. So instead, he made a request that he knew he had no business even asking of them, especially not now. Yet for the sake of the greater good, that’s exactly what he did anyway. “I… Please, d-don’t tell anyone else about the rift. Until we figure out a way to neutralize it for good, like I said before, it’s safer, less exposed, if fewer people know about its existence…”

For what seemed like ages, the Gems didn’t respond to this plea, but in the end, Garnet simply nodded her cold affirmation to it. “Whatever,” Amethyst also agreed with a quiet scoff. “Guess your stupid secret’s safe with us.”

“Yes,” Pearl said bitterly as all three of the Gems piled into the elevator to leave the author behind. “At least then, no one else can stand to get hurt simply from knowing about it like Steven and Dipper already have…”

And indeed, they already had been, something that Ford lamented as he was left alone in the empty darkness of his lab. The boys had been hurt, damaged, forgotten, possibly even beyond the point of remembrance by the very fusion they were both a part of. And for as much as Ford would have wanted to blame Bill for all of that, at the end of the day, he knew the Gems were right; he only really had himself to blame. 

“Okey-dokey, Ste-bro,” Mabel was bright and cheery as ever the next morning as she bounded downstairs, with Stepper following a decent pace behind her. “We’re officially back on what I like to call “Memory Patrol”. I’ve got a whole day planned out that’ll get you back to remembering everything in no time. And that day starts with a delicious morning meal with all of Steven and Dipper’s favorite breakfast treats! Grunkle Stan!” 

This call was easily enough to startle Stan awake from his spot in the recliner in the living room. The book he’d checked out of the library the previous day entitled “Memory Loss: Treatment and Talking About It With Loved Ones” fell off his face as he bolted upright in alarm. “Ugh, huh…? What is it? You need somethin’, pumpkin?” he asked Mabel as she poked her head into the den. 

“Yeah! I need you to help me put together the best breakfast ever,” she grinned as she ran over to pull him out of his seat. “One that’s gonna be the trick to getting Stepper to remember everything, I just know it!”

“Wait… you mean the poor kid still doesn’t remember who he is?” Stan asked incredulously, sparing a worried glance at the aforementioned fusion as Mabel dragged him toward the kitchen. “...What the heck am I gonna tell your parents?” 

“You won’t have to tell ‘em anything ‘cause we’re fixing all of this today,” Mabel proclaimed, confident yet largely more hopeful that they would. Because if they didn’t, if they couldn’t… she couldn’t even stand to think about what would happen. “Now c’mon. Let’s get cooking!”

For his part, Stepper didn’t join the pair in the kitchen as they began prepping breakfast. Instead, he took to casually wandering around the shack, not having any real destination in mind, even as he eventually made it to the gift shop. He couldn’t help but smile a bit as he looked over the various nick-nacks and chachkies stocked up on display, though he did stop upon finding one certain shelf containing several hats, caps to be precise, much like the very one he was wearing. One of those hats in particular happened to catch his eye, one that, instead of being noticeably blank like his was, bore the prominent image of a blue pine tree upon it. Stepper picked it up, examining that pine tree with a sense of what almost felt like nostalgia, that persistent feeling of emptiness starting to spark within him once more. 

And then, another flash, this time in sound that seemed to echo from nowhere and everywhere all at once as pain flushed out from his gemstone once more. 

“Pine Tree.” “Rose Bud.”

“Pine Bud.” “Rose Tree.”

He stumbled back, the hat falling out of his grip as he pressed a hand to his head. The sharp, vibrant pain was gone but he remembered it vividly, though what had come along with it was still nothing more than a mystery covered by a mist that was far too thick for him to even try to see through. Just as so many things seemed to be for him, really. 

Stepper was startled once more, this time by the vending machine on the other side of the gift shop opening up almost like a door. As confused by that alone as he was, Stepper watched as the Gems emerged from that doorway, their expressions mutually exhausted and frustrated, for reasons the fusion could only really begin to guess. “H-hey, you guys,” he greeted the trio with a small smile. “Is everything ok?”

The Gems let out a shared, tired sigh at this as they all looked to Stepper sadly. “Eh… gotta admit, it would be a little better if you could actually remember anything about Steven and Dipper,” Amethyst admitted, catching a glare from Pearl for being so overt and tactless. “Any luck with that, dude?”

Stepper frowned, taking in the Gems’ weary manner as he wished there was actually something he could do to ease it instead of add onto it for a change. “...Would you all feel better if I said yes?”

There was another sigh, namely from Pearl and Amethyst this time as Garnet shook her head, placing a consoling hand on the fusion’s shoulder. “You don’t need to lie to appease us, Stepper,” she said, offering him a small, encouraging smile. “If nothing else, we’re just happy to have you safely back from the Nightmare Realm.”

“The Nightmare Realm…” Stepper repeated, his eyes wide with newfound curiosity. “That’s where you guys said my gem was cracked right? Could you maybe tell me more about what happened there?”

“We really… can’t, Stepper, we weren’t there…” Pearl began, though her eyes grew wide as a sudden pertinent realization struck her. “But YOU were! And if you can remember everything that you’ve been through as a fusion, then certainly you must at least still have some memories of what happened to you there!”

“B-but… I already told you, I don’t-”

“Stepper,” Garnet interjected as she placed both of her hands firmly on his shoulders, following along with Pearl’s plan. After all, in light of everything else, it was really the only thing they could possibly attempt at this point. “Listen carefully. We need you to try to remember what happened to you in the Nightmare Realm.”

“W-what?” Stepper asked, daunted by such a task. “I… can’t, I don’t even know what that place is, much less what might have happened there.”

“You do,” Garnet insisted, her grip on his shoulders tightening out of the slightest bit of desperation. “Somewhere deep in your mind, the memory of it still has to exist. And that memory might be the only way we can figure out what happened to you, to your gem, and to your memories. So please, try to think about what happened… so we can help you.”

While Stepper largely believed what the Gems were asking of him to be impossible, he was hard pressed to say no to their pleading gazes. Almost as if all of their hopes for answers rested solely on his shoulders. And really, seeing as how he was looking for many of the same answers too, he knew he at least owed it to them and to himself to at the very least make the attempt, however difficult it might be. “O-ok… I’ll try…”

Unsure of how to proceed, Stepper opted to close his eyes and take in a deep breath, blocking everything else out as he only focused on thoughts of the Nightmare Realm, a place he didn’t know, didn’t remember. And for what seemed like ages, no memories were seeming to come to him until… 

Another flash, another burst of pain, far more intense than before as his broken gemstone seemed to pulse with agony both internally and externally. And with that flash and that pain came the memory he’d been searching for, for the first time clear as crystal as it played out in beats, like a song without a melody. Like a tune his heart had forced him to forget. 

“What I want is something only you can give me, Rose Tree…”

Shield-

“W-why would you want that?”

-Journal.

“I just wanna see you lose your prized, precious weapon for good."

Shield-

“Sounds like a small price to pay to see your friends and family again and NOT die a slow, painful death in a literal nightmare dimension, dontcha think?”

-Journal.

“I'd rather lose that book forever then lose you forever…"

Shield-

“That's it, right? Nothing more along with it? No strings attached?”

-Journal.

“None at all, Rose Tree! You’ll be home before you know it.”

Shield-

“But… if all I stand to lose is my shield journal for a chance to go home and get as far away from you as possible, then… I’ll take it…”

-Journal.

“I knew we'd be able to work something out, Pine Bud. Now… pay up."

And he did. He paid the price for his return. A price that cost him far more than he ever could have imagined…

“My shield journal!” Stepper gasped, practically falling onto the floor as he was forced out of that horrific memory. Garnet caught him just in time to keep him steady, but even so, the fusion was trembling, the cracks across his stomach expanding even more, just as they had last night, though he was really the only one to notice. “M-my journal…” he repeated, his eyes wide with panic as he continued reeling from what he’d just seen. “I-it’s gone…”

“What?!” Pearl and Amethyst exclaimed in baffled unison. 

“But… how? Can’t you just summon it like you always do?” Amethyst asked incredulously. 

“N-no, I… I don’t have it anymore,” Stepper explained hectically as Garnet helped him stand properly once more. “I gave it away to some… triangle guy. H-he only had one eye and he-”

“B-Bill…” Pearl interrupted, terror and disdain mingling in her tone. “You… you gave your weapon away to Bill?”

“That was Bill?” Stepper asked, still largely unfamiliar with the being his memories had shown him. “But… he said he’d help me get home if I gave him my journal, and… I am home, right? So… he did what he said.”

“No, he didn’t,” Ford suddenly broke into the conversation that he’d been listening in on from the other side of the vending machine door. As he emerged from it, the Gems all offered him brief, bitter glances, though he didn’t speak to any of them as he kept his focus on Stepper, hoping to at least try to set right all of the things he’d done wrong. “Bill lied to you, Stepper, just like he lies to everyone. He may have somehow gotten you back to this dimension, but by taking your shield journal away from you, I fear he might have stripped you of your very identity in the process.”

“My identity…?” Stepper asked, confused. “Uh… how? It’s just a book, right?”

“...Stepper, tell me, what do you remember when it comes to your shield journal?”

“Uh… well, I know how to make shields using it… and… um…”

“Do you happen to remember what’s actually on the pages of that journal?” Ford pressed, though unfortunately, Stepper had no answer other than a small shake of his head. “Just as I feared… Stepper, your shield journal is very unique when it comes to other fusion weapons. Based on what I was able to study of it before, it’s pages are composed entirely of information about you, or rather, about who you’re made of. Half of it is about Steven, while the other half is about Dipper. I have reason to believe it’s tied not just to your gem, but your mind, your very existence as a fusion.”

“But I’m not-”

“I don’t know how we didn’t think of this before…” Ford interrupted, still intent on his developing theory as he delivered his final, grim verdict. “Don’t you all see? That journal tells the complete story of who Steven and Dipper are on their own, and joining those stories together makes them Stepper. So when Bill took the journal away from him, he also took away all those stories, every ounce of knowledge Stepper once had of either of his component halves. He didn’t just take away Stepper’s memories of Steven and Dipper. He took away their very identities altogether.”

This information hit all three of the Gems hard, each of them stunned into silence as they tried to make sense of such a horrific thought. The thought that Steven and Dipper were far more lost than they ever could have realized. 

“His gem,” Garnet spoke first, her tone tight and barely restraining the tranquil fury she was feeling. “That’s why it’s still cracked. The fountain may have healed the worst of it, but it couldn’t restore what he’s lost. Without that journal, without Steven and Dipper… Stepper is incomplete.”

“I-Incomplete?” Stepper interjected, alarmed by the very implication. 

“That’s bound to be what’s keeping him from unfusing too…” Ford noted gravely. “There’s nothing left for him to unfuse into.”

“But I already told you all,” Stepper attempted to speak up. “I can’t-”

“But,” Ford cut him off as he began running with another, much more hopefully theory. “If we were to get his journal back to him, then there’s reason to believe that might be enough to restore his knowledge of his halves, fix his gem, and help him unfuse all in one fell swoop.”

“Whoa, hold on-” Stepper tried to break into the conversation once again, but by this point he’d all but been forced out of it entirely. 

“So what?” Amethyst asked. “Are we just supposed to take a trip into the Nightmare Realm and beat the bricks outta Bill until he hands the book back over to us?”

Ford sighed, far from keen on the idea of venturing back to a place he had such awful memories of, even if he knew such a trip was extremely necessary now. “At this point, I’m not sure what other options we have…”

“B-but… how would we even get to the Nightmare Realm?” Pearl asked, daunted by the very thought of facing off against Bill in his domain. “The portal’s gone, a-and that rift…”

“We can’t risk that,” Ford quickly shot the idea down. “But we could always use the rift’s energy signature to lock onto the Nightmare Realm’s location… All we’d really need to get there is a makeshift wormhole stabilizer to create a temporary portal that would be up just long enough to get us in and out of Nightmare Realm, a few hours in our time at the very most.”

“Well… that shouldn’t be completely out of the question…” Pearl mused. “After all, we did send Peridot and Lapis back to the barn to salvage whatever materials they could from the drill, right, Garnet?”

The Gem leader nodded, her future vision, even as spotty as it had been during this entire situation, thankfully proving serviceable and spot-on in this instance. “I knew doing that would come in handy.”

“W-wait, can we just… slow down for a minute?” Stepper asked, taking a step forward in the hope that he wouldn’t go unnoticed this time. “Didn’t you say this Bill guy is really dangerous? If that’s true, then why would you want to go and pick a fight with him?”

“Uh, weren’t you listening, dude?” Amethyst asked, hands on her hips. “We gotta get your journal back!”

“That’s right,” Ford nodded, resolved. “It might be the only way for us to help you, Stepper.”

“Help me?” Stepper asked with a small scoff. “How would any of you risking your lives help me?!”

“It could help you remember who you are,” Garnet explained evenly, even though she was the first to pick up on the fusion’s rising frustration. “Who you’re supposed to be.”

As the Gem leader reached out a hand to place on his shoulder, Stepper harshly pulled himself out of her reach. “I am who I’m supposed to be!” he protested hotly. “That’s what I keep trying to tell everyone, but none of you will listen to me!”

“S-Stepper, please, don’t get upset,” Pearl said cautiously. “We know you don’t remember who Steven and Dipper are right now, but if you did, then you’d understand that they’re what makes you you.”

“No, they’re not!” Stepper countered, all four of his hands in tight fists. “How many times do I have to tell you? I am not a fusion! I’m especially not a fusion of two people I don’t even know!”

“Uh, yeah, you are,” Amethyst argued with a scowl.

“I’m not!” Stepper retorted bitterly. “Do any of you realize just how unfair all this is to me?! You all are asking me to be someone I know I’m not! Someone I can’t be because the only thing I know how to be is myself!”

“Stepper, that’s enough,” Garnet said, her tone as cold as ice. “You’re being irrational. You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“I don’t think you know what you’re saying!” Stepper accused, absolutely livid by this point. He knew he was going too far, he knew the ground he was standing on was shaky at best, but he couldn’t help it, he wouldn’t stop. He was tired of being silenced and refused to let his own voice go unheard any longer. “Even if I ever was a fusion, which I’m not, I don’t know who Steven and Dipper are! And I won’t let you all sacrifice yourselves just so you can force me to become who you think I should be! Why won’t any of you just let me have a say in what happens to me?!”

“Because, Stepper, you just… don’t understand,” Ford shook his head dismissively. “You don’t have the complete picture, you don’t know-”

“I know plenty,” Stepper hissed intensely. “I know who I am. I know who I want to be. I may not have a lot of memories right now, but I want to make more! I want to see so many things, I want to do so much, I want to become someone on my own. I-I don’t want to be Dipper or Steven or whoever else you keep trying to tell me I am. I want to be Stepper. I want to be me.”

“Stepper, you can’t stay like this,” Garnet insisted, her tone severe and stern. “You’re cracked, damaged, in gem, body, and mind. You will never be whole as long as you exist as you are now.”

“You’re wrong!” Stepper shouted, furious as he felt like the others were all backing him into a corner. A corner he would not let them trap him into, not anymore. “I can be whole, I am whole! Why can’t any of you just see that?! Oh, I know, it’s because you’re all so obsessed with Dipper and Steven, whoever they are, to the point that I don’t even matter, right?!”

“Don’t be absurd,” Pearl chastised, though her voice was trembling even as she said it. “You do matter to all of us, Stepper, but-”

“But only because you think I’m them,” Stepper surmised crossly, glaring away from all of them. “Well, I’m only going to say this one more time: I am not them. And even if there’s a chance I ever was them, I’m not going back to being them, ever! I’m staying just like I am, and if that means Steven and Dipper are gone, then… then I guess they’re just gone! For good!”

Before any of the others could even try to argue with this, the sudden clamor of shattering glass abruptly cut through the tension of the room. Everyone was quick to turn to the gift shop entrance, only to find Mabel standing in the threshold, the spilled remains of the now broken breakfast plate she’d dropped on the floor lying at her feet. Yet even so, her sights were set on Stepper and Stepper alone, tears brimming in her eyes as even more continued to fall over everything she’d just heard. Her grief-stricken expression alone struck Stepper with more guilt and remorse than he could have ever thought possible, especially since he knew there was no way he could take back what Mabel had just overheard now. Even if he actually wanted to. 

Even so, Mabel didn’t say a single word, instead choking out a heavy, sorrowful sob as she turned and ran, rushing down the hall to get as far away from the fusion as possible. Stepper gasped, making an instinctual move to hurry after her, though he stopped short before he could even leave the gift shop upon noticing all of the other sets of eyes watching him all the while. By all accounts, Ford seemed completely shellshocked, Amethyst sharing the same speechless sentiment. Garnet’s mouth was pressed into a tight, thin, clearly angry line, while Pearl clung onto her arm, her own mouth covered to suppress a mournful sob to match the tears streaming down her cheeks. Stepper tensed, unsure of what to say to any of them at a moment like this. Because really, he’d already said more than enough by now. 

So instead, he did largely the same thing Mabel already had and retreated, pressing past the group as he ran out of the shack entirely. He had no idea if any of them tried to stop him, and he largely didn’t care. He just needed to go, to escape, to get away from all of the expectations, all of the pressure, all of the guilt he couldn’t bear to shoulder any longer. 

He found himself heading up the hill toward the temple, not on purpose, but out of a simple desire to be alone. He had thought to go after Mabel, though he had a high suspicion that she was just about the last person he’d probably want to see right now. So instead, he went off on his own, his thoughts constantly washing over each other like waves lapping onto a shore. As much as his guilt still overwhelmed him, so too did plenty of other emotions: confusion, sadness, concern, exhaustion, but above all else, there was conflict. A sense of uncertainty that plagued him almost constantly now as he continued to wonder what came next. Or rather, what might become of him. 

He wasn’t a fusion, he wasn’t Steven or Dipper. He knew that. He was certain of that. And yet… that certainty still left so many gaps in who he actually was compared to who he wasn’t. He knew he was Stepper… and that was about it. An undeformed identity that he wanted to claim as his own, even if he didn’t know how. A life that he wanted to lead, even if he couldn’t see where that life might be going. Someone who he wanted to be, even if no one else wanted him to be that. 

The mid-morning sun was crisp and warm as it shined upon his face, yet even in its radiance he felt strangely cold. Empty. Incomplete, just as they’d called him before. Something was wrong, something was missing, he knew that. He just didn’t know exactly what that something actually was. And amidst that conflict, amidst all of the countless thoughts washing up onto the shore of his unsettled mind, he strangely found himself compelled to voice those thoughts in a way that felt undoubtedly familiar, even if he had no memory of doing so before. Still, he sang anyway, his mind aching and his heart breaking with each and every word of his melancholy tune.

“I’m someone, I’m no one, I’m me,” he began, his voice smooth yet sad as he strolled up the hill ahead of him. “I don’t know who I’m supposed to be… They want me to give up myself, and then just become someone else…”

He let out a small, bitter sigh at this, the arguments Ford and the Gems had put forth stinging him even still. Even so, he couldn't help but feel some form of sympathy for their plight. Whoever Steven and Dipper actually were, Stepper could tell they were important to the others based on how adamant everyone was about getting them back. Certainly, if anyone he cared about that much had been ripped away from him, he would have likely felt the exact same way as they did. Though perhaps not to the extent of forcing someone else to become someone they weren’t. 

“I wish that I knew them, I do.” And it was true. He would have loved to know who those boys actually were, perhaps even befriended them based on how highly everyone seemed to think of them. Even if he felt like he barely knew a single thing about either of them. “They’re sorry they lost them, me too. But someone else is to blame, for memories that I still can’t claim.”

Memories of people, of places, of events he hadn’t been a part of, of things he had no context for. People like Greg and Pacifica and Lapis, all of whom seemed quite nice, but he didn’t know, or at least he hadn’t until now. Places like the Nightmare Realm, of what happened there, something that, even for as filled with as many holes as it was, what holes had been filled shook him to his very core with fear. Events that Mabel tried telling him about, weaving together into a grand, epic story he wasn’t a character in, but he wanted to be, he strived to be. And yet, no one else seemed to want that along with him. 

“I’m no one that they want around.” By now, all four of his arms were wrapped around him in a loose hug as he continued to approach the temple, knowing he’d find some much-needed solitude there. “They’re someone I still haven’t found. I’m me but I’m not what they need. ‘I’m them’ but I’m not sure I agree.”

He entered the house, his song still spilling out of him as he stepped into its quiet atmosphere, bereft of any of the Gems as they remained down at the house. Unsure of what else to do there, he climbed onto the loft, finding a small bedroom setup there, decorated with plenty of personality to spare. What caught his eye however, was the collection of photographs resting above the bed, each of them framed as they depicted several faces Stepper recognized, from the Gems, to Mabel, to Connie, and then of course, there was Steven and Dipper, just like they were in the photograph he pulled out of his vest to compare. Their smiles still bright, their eyes brimming with life, their identities a complete and utter mystery to him, just as they’d always been from the very start. 

“I want to be someone, but I can’t keep pretending to try,” He continued examining that photograph as he laid out on the bed before him, one that, just like the one he’d slept on last night, was far too small for him to fully fit on. “That their pieces fit into mine. Pieces I’m trying to find.”

He sighed in resignation, his sorrowful song starting to come to an end as he laid that photograph on his chest and closed his eyes in contemplative reflection. Reflection over an identity that still evaded him, a mystery he still hadn’t solved and likely never would. 

“I don’t know who I’m supposed to be-”

“So I’m someone, I’m no one…”

“I’m me…”

He opened his eyes, letting out another solemn sigh as he did. He held the photo up again, staring at the boys depicted in it almost as if they were his own reflection. And if what everyone else kept saying was actually true, then they might as well have been. “...What am I going to do…?” he whispered to the picture, even though he knew it couldn’t possibly give him the answers he was seeking. 

And yet, that didn’t mean something else couldn’t. Stepper gasped in alarm, bolting upright on the bed as his gem, even as fractured and dull as it currently was, suddenly began to gently glow. That same glow overtook the large, star-bearing door on the far side of the house, and in an instant, that door slid open to reveal whatever lay beyond it. Confused, Stepper climbed down the loft, taking in first glimpses he got of the strangely pink expanse on the other side of the door, one that he couldn't help but step through to get a better look. 

“H-hello? Is anyone in here?” he called as he emerged into what looked like an endless forest, though by far the strangest one he’d ever seen. The trees towered far beyond what he could see, creating a canopy of leaves that were all inexplicably pink, just as much as the trunks of those trees and the almost cloudlike ground at his feet were. The entire wood was dead silent, yet mystically calm and peaceful, coming across as some sort of safe haven he couldn’t help but step further into, not even noticing as the temple gate sealed itself shut before disappearing entirely behind him. 

For a while, he simply walked around aimlessly, weaving between the towering trees as he listened to that void of silence echo all around him. Yet even still, that silence gave him no reprieve from his endless torrent of raging thoughts, each of which consumed him, taunted him, tore away at him to the point that he could see no semblance of peace, not even here, away from it all. 

He shook his head, glancing down at the photograph in his hand once more. And as he did, he couldn’t help but wonder what those boys were really like. Who they really were to begin with. Because maybe if he knew them, then perhaps he’d finally understand exactly why everyone was striving and struggling to get them back in the first place. “...I just wish I could actually meet both of you…” he muttered despondent as he began to put the picture away. 

Yet as he did, the pastel pink clouds at his feet suddenly began to shift, several of them swirling in from between the trees to take some sort of shape before him. Or rather, two shapes, each becoming more and more distinct with each passing second until they took on the fully-formed, fully-colored appearance of two boys: one with dark curly hair and a pink shirt bearing a large star and the other clad in a pine tree cap and a dark blue vest. 

Stepper gasped, stunned as he took a small step back from the pair, even as they both opened their eyes and offered him mutually friendly smiles and a unified warm greeting. “Hi, Stepper!”

At first, Stepper had no idea what to say as he looked between the two boys standing before him, the photograph he had of them finally slipping out of his hand entirely as he somehow managed to speak to them. “S-Steven? D-Dipper?” 

“Yeah!” Steven chimed, his tone bright and warm. “Who else would we be?”

“Are you ok, Stepper?” Dipper asked, his smile less wide but still apparent as he raised a curious eyebrow. 

Stepper shook his head, running a hand through his hair as he leaned up against the nearest tree. “I… I can’t believe it…” he whispered. “You’re… both actually here…”

“Yeah, we are!” Steven chuckled, as if what Stepper had just said was the funniest thing in the entire world.

“Why wouldn’t we be here?” Dipper asked, his hands in the pockets of his vest. “You wanted to see us, after all.”

“R-right…” Stepper nodded weakly, though he was quickly reinvigorated by a newfound idea. “Wait… you’re here. You… you aren’t gone! I-I could take you both back and I could finally show everyone that I’m me and not you!” Without any warning, Stepper grabbed both boys by the arm and began to drag them along through the woods. “C’mon! They’ll all be so glad to see you again, especially Mabel. She-”

Stepper froze as the boys’ hands fell out of his grip simultaneously. And at the same time, another flash, pain sparking from his gem, all throughout him as his thoughts went wild, rampant with things he had once said, with senseless sentences he didn’t understand. 

“We could do this--we could win this!” “I’m sorry!” “Maybe you should just break things off with me…” “I don’t want to break away from you!” “You mean so much to me!” 

“You stayed with me… so I’m staying with you…”

Once again, it was over far too quickly. There were pink cracks spreading to his lower hands now, but he hardly noticed them as he turned to see the boys standing behind him, both of their bodies glitching out even as they retained their upbeat smiles. “W-what?” Stepper reached toward them both, only for his hands to pass right through them as immaterial as they both currently were. With a gasp, he pulled away, and sure enough, both boys finally stabilizing as if nothing had even happened, to give him another refrain of their first hello. “Hi, Stepper!”

“Y-you… you’re not… real… are you?” Stepper guessed, his heart sinking as he already figured out the answer. 

“Uh… of course, we’re real,” Dipper said, apparently confused. “Why wouldn’t we be?”

“Yeah, we’re you, remember?” Steven asked, still wearing that constant knowing smile. 

“N-no,” Stepper began, his voice shaking as he collapsed against the tree once more. His upper hands were pressed tightly into his hair, his mind and heart both raging against each other in a storm, a hurricane he had absolutely no control over. “No, I don’t remember. I don’t remember you, I don’t remember being you!” With a heavy, agonized sob, he fell to his knees, to the soft, cloudy “ground” below him, his lower hands covering his face as he wept miserably. “I… I’m not you… I’m NOT… I’m… I…” His tears fell onto all four of his hands as he held them out to look at them mournfully, scornfully really. “I don’t know who I am… I don’t even know what I am...”

For what seemed like ages, the only thing that could be heard echoing through the pink trees was the sound of Stepper’s continued sobs, each one wracked with despair over an identity he’d never get to have, over the life he knew he’d never lead. When those sobs were finally interrupted however, Steven was the first one to do it. “We know what you are…” he said, his voice soft as he took one of Stepper’s hands and held onto it gently. 

“You’re our fusion,” Dipper added as he grabbed another hand. 

“You are us…” Steven agreed just as affirmatively. 

“No…” Stepper whimpered as he averted the pair’s intent gaze. “I… I’m not, I… I can’t be, I don’t even know who either of you are, I’m not-”

“Stepper,” Dipper spoke up as his grip on Stepper’s hand tightened. “Look at us. You may not remember us, but… deep down, I think you do know the truth.”

“Don’t you see?” Steven whispered warmly as he lifted his shirt up a bit. And there, resting squarely on his stomach, was the exact same pink gemstone that was sitting on Stepper’s own. “We’re the same. We are you. And you’re us.”

“I-I… I’m your fusion…” Stepper repeated with a dawning sense of realization as he looked at Steven’s gemstone. As he looked at Dipper’s clothes. As he looked at both of their faces and finally took note at just how similar both of them looked to his own. As he finally figured out that he wasn’t his own person at all. He never had been, not even for a single second. “A-and that’s all I am…” his sobs were softer now, still sad, but largely resigned to this fact. To the loss of any hope he might have once had that he could have been something more. “That’s all I’ve ever been… Only a fusion… all this time…”

“Only a fusion?” Dipper asked, incredulous. “You’re way more than just a fusion!”

“That’s right!” Steven readily agreed. “Whether we’re fused or not, you’re a part of us, Stepper. A very special part of us!”

“Yeah, you’re like… the living embodiment of our friendship,” Dipper explained as both him and Steven took a step closer to their fusion. 

“You represent the bond between us,” Steven added kindly. “And that’s not nothing. It’s something so important to both of us! It’s what makes you who you are!”

“B-But… I don’t even remember that bond…” Stepper muttered, tears still in his eyes as he shook his head remorsefully. “I don’t remember your friendship, I… I don’t remember either of you… I-I… I feel like I barely even remember me…”

“You will,” Dipper assured with a confident smile. “And don’t worry about what happens after you do. Because as long as we exist, then so will you.”

Stepper sighed, his tears finally stilling themselves as he suddenly pulled both Dipper and Steven close in a much-needed hug, one that they gently returned. Because even if neither of them were actually real, this had been all of the proof he needed to know that they once had been. That they could be real again. “And as long as I exist,” he promised, knowing that wherever the real Dipper and Steven were, whether locked tight away inside his mind or somewhere else entirely, they’d hear his newfound vow somehow. “Then you will too.” 

And then they were gone, dissipated into the very clouds they had both been composed of, nothing more than an empty memory he didn’t have. A memory that he at last knew was actually his, a memory he knew he had to reclaim. A memory he was going to reclaim.

Even if he had to rip his shield journal out of Bill Cipher’s hands himself. 

He found Mabel in the woods, not too far away from the Mystery Shack. She sat against a wide tree, her legs and her face both buried into her sweater as she wrapped her arms around herself tightly. Stepper knew she’d been out there for a few hours, at least, and even still, she was inconsolable, understandably so after the horrible things he’d said earlier. Still, he was resolved to set this wrong right first, in the hopes that it would be the start of fixing many more on the difficult road ahead. 

“M-Mabel?” he began, carefully taking a seat on the ground next to her. She didn’t even bother to look up at him as she instead pulled her sweater tighter around herself, hoping to block him out even more than she already had. Yet even so, he was determined to reach her all the same. “I… I’m sorry…” he said with a remorseful sigh. “What I said before, I… I wasn’t thinking, I-” He cut himself off, realizing just how insufficient his apology was really proving to be as Mabel showed no signs of responding to it. So instead, he opted to go in an entirely different direction instead. “Mabel, can… can you tell me more about them?” 

Caught off guard by this question, Mabel finally glanced up, tears streaking down her cheeks as she looked to him curiously. “A-about who?” she asked softly, sadly. 

“Dipper and Steven,” he answered, managing a small smile as he said their names. “You’ve already told me so much about who they know and what they’ve done, but… I still don’t feel like I really know much about who they are. So…?”

“Y-you want to hear about them?” Mabel sniffled, wiping away a few of her tears on the sleeve of her sweater. “Really?” Stepper nodded, his smile widening just a bit as he urged her onward. And so she gave him what he asked for in the best way she knew how. “W-well… Steven is… h-he’s just about the nicest person you could ever meet. He’s friendly and helpful and so much fun. He likes Crying Breakfast Friends and Ducktective and donuts and Lion and… he always helps people whenever they need it, no matter who they are.”

“He sounds like a pretty great person to know,” Stepper mused fondly. 

“Yeah…” Mabel glanced away, her cheeks warm with an affectionate blush as she thought of the young Gem. “He is… He’s… one of my best friends… I kind of wish he was maybe a bit more than that, but… that’s fine… we’re fine...” 

“What do you mean?” Stepper asked, confused. 

“N-nothing, it’s nothing,” Mabel shook her head with a small, wistful sigh. A sigh over what she knew could never be ever if they did manage to get Steven back. “Still, Steven is… well, he’s a real gem. Get it?”

“Yeah,” Stepper chuckled. “I think I do. So what about Dipper then?”

Mabel’s smile faded into returning grief at this. “Dipper…” she whispered, her tears coming back in full force as she suppressed a mournful sob over the brother she’d lost. 

“You said he’s your brother… right?” Stepper asked, hesitantly. 

Mabel nodded, holding back her tears to at the very least honor him by telling his story. “H-he’s my twin,” she corrected quietly. “My one and only bro-bro, the best one I could ever ask for… He’s a total nerd, but he’s brave, great with a sword, and he’s stubborn, oh gosh, is he stubborn! He’s probably the smartest person I know, or at least I think he is, and that’s saying something since I know people like Grunkle Ford and Pearl and Peri. But most of all… I know that no matter what… Dipper’s always there for me. He’s always got my back. Dipper and Steven both do… I-I… I miss them…”

Mabel finally broke down into another heartbroken sob, pulling her knees close to her chest in a renewed hug as she fruitlessly tried to chase that heartbreak away. And while Stepper wanted to comfort her with a secure embrace of his own, he decided to offer her another form of comfort instead. “I… I want to remember them…” he admitted, his voice soft, barely even a whisper as he said it. 

“W-what…?” Mabel asked, not sure if she’d heard him right. 

“I want to remember them,” Stepper said again, his tone firmer this time. “I want to be them again. For you, for them, a-and for me.”

“But, S-Stepper, I… I thought you wanted to be… you know… just you,” Mabel pointed out, briefly glancing away from the fusion. 

“I do,” Stepper confirmed with a warm, confident smile. “And Steven and Dipper, well… they’re who I am. So as long as they’re together, then… I’ll always be me. Right?”

Mabel nodded, choking on a small, yet happy whimper this time as she leapt at the fusion, pulling him into a tight, grateful hug. “Thank you, Ste-bro,” she whispered, practically dreaming of the moment she’d get to see Dipper and Steven as they truly were once more. 

Stepper smiled, easily returning her embrace as he solidified his resolve. He would do whatever he had to to keep that genuine smile on Mabel’s face. He would do whatever he had to go back to being who he had always been meant to be. “You’re wel-!” Stepper cut himself off with a gasp that bordered more on a scream, a sharp wave of sudden agony overtook his entire form. And this time, it was no mere flash, it was a torrent, a flood that overwhelmed his ever sense as pain flushed out from his gem to every single fiber of his being it seemed. 

“Stepper!” Mabel cried, terrified as the fusion suddenly collapsed out of her arms onto the forest floor. His body seized up with yet another burst of unbearable anguish, the cracks that had once only surrounded his stomach expanding their reach to the rest of his body as his vibrant pink eyes flashed brightly, erratically. His gemstone also flashed, dangerously so as even more color seemed to drain from it, as his face grew pale and beleaguered by the intense, yet strangely familiar anguish he had found himself engulfed in completely out of nowhere. “Stepper, w-what’s going on?! What’s wrong?!” Mabel asked, gripping one of his arms tightly as he wrapped them around himself. 

“I-I… I don’t know…” Stepper breathed tensely, another paid groan escaping him as his gem shot another burst of agony through him. “I-it… it won’t stop…”

Needless to say Mabel was panicking every bit as much as Stepper himself was, but even so she knew there wasn’t any time to waste. “C-come on,” she urged, slowly and carefully helping him properly sit up. “We gotta get you back to the shack.” Stepper didn’t argue, largely because he couldn’t as burdened by his lingering pain as he was. It was an immense struggle for him to even stand, but with a bit of doing he managed it, largely leaning against Mabel for support as they both began to inch their way back toward the shack, both of them awash in fear and dread for whatever could possibly befall the already tormented fusion next. 

“Is it finished yet?” Lapis asked impatiently as she continued pacing around the author’s room. Garnet, Amethyst, and Stan also stood by, anxiously watching as Ford, Pearl, and Peridot continued tinkering away at their latest invention. An invention that could, if all went right, get them to the Nightmare Realm and back with an all-too-important journal in hand. 

“It’s almost there…” Peridot noted as she checked over the readings on her tablet once more. “It seems as though we’ve locked onto the exact location of Cipher’s dimension after all. Where exactly did you get these coordinates from, Stanford?”

Ford flinched at this, looking to Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl, who only glared away from him bitterly in response. “Uh… l-lucky guess,” he answered quickly, falsely. “Now, let’s review the plan. Peridot’s going to stay behind to monitor the machine in case anything goes awry. Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and I will venture through our temporary displacement portal into the Nightmare Realm and-”

“Not without me, you’re not,” Lapis interrupted rigidly. “I’m not about to stay behind and let that Cipher guy get away with what he did to Dipper and Steven. He’s going to pay, I’ll make sure of that.”

The others all looked to Lapis in sligh concern at such a vicious threat, though it wasn’t really one any of them could argue with. After all Bill had done, there was no denying they all wanted to see him finally be brought to justice too. “V-very well then,” Ford nodded. “Then myself, Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and Lapis will-”

“I’m coming too,” Stan suddenly spoke up, his expression solid and resolved as he stepped forward. 

“Stanley, no, you can’t-”

“Can it, Ford,” Stan cut his brother off with a scowl. “Dipper’s my nephew too, you know. And neither him or Steven deserved what that creep did to ‘em. So I’m with frills here,” he nodded over to Lapis. “Let’s make this guy wish he’d never messed with our boys.”

“Yeah! Let’s get him!” Amethyst cheered in uproarious support. 

Garnet and Pearl also nodded their consent, leaving Ford with no choice but to agree. “Fine,” he said, stepping away from the now-finished machine. “I think it’s ready. But we still need to-”

“Help!” Mabel’s urgent cry rang through the shack, catching everyone’s attention instantly. “Please! I-it’s Stepper! Something’s wrong with-” Before she could even finish, the Gems were all already at the door she’d barely managed to pull Stepper in through before the fusion completely collapsed in pain, far too weak and worn to keep himself upright anymore. 

“W-what’s wrong with them?!” Lapis asked in apt alarm as Garnet rushed in to lift the languishing fusion into her arms. “What happened?!”

“I-I don’t know!” Mabel shook her head fearfully. “He was fine one second and then-”

“T-the cracks on his skin are back…” Pearl noted anxiously. “Could that mean his gem’s condition is getting… worse somehow?”

“Uh, his gem still looks like it did before,” Amethyst noted worriedly. “Ya know, aside from the whole flashing thing. T-that’s pretty new.”

“A-and concerning…” Peridot agreed with a fretful frown. 

“It’s not his gem,” Garnet theorized as she properly picked Stepper, who was largely out of it by this point, up. “It must be his memories.”

“His shield journal!” Ford interjected as him and Stan joined the group that was already making their way back to the author’s room. “I’ll bet anything that Bill’s probably doing something to it even as we speak. I hate to even think about it, but for all we know he could be… damaging it, and who knows what that might be doing to Stepper in turn.”

“Then that means there’s no time to waste,” Garnet said as she began to set Stepper’s listless form on the nearby couch. “We’ve got to go get that journal back now, before it’s too late. Peridot, open the portal up.”

“B-but we haven’t even had time to test it yet!” Peridot protested apprehensively as she lingered near the machine’s controls. 

“Who cares?!” Lapis shot back. “Dipper and Steven’s lives could be at stake! We’ve just gotta risk it!”

“Y-yeah!” Mabel agreed as she stayed close to Stepper’s side. “W-we’ve gotta go get his journal! We have to help him remember! He wants to remember now, r-right, Stepper?”

At this, Stepper opened his eyes, still dully glowing pink as he forced himself to sit up, even though his body protested with pain that still refused to go away. “Y-yes…” he said, his voice rough and tired, yet somehow firm and determined all the same. “I-I… need to remember them… I need my journal back…” He was shaking as he stood, though as he nearly fell one more, Garnet barely managed to catch him and hold him upright just in time. “W-we have to go… I… I have to go…”

“No, absolutely not,” Ford resiliently rejected the fusion’s resolve. “That’s completely out of the question, Stepper. You can’t possibly go back to the Nightmare Realm after what Bill-”

“I-it’s my journal,” Stepper protested, refusing to wait on the sidelines any longer. “Those are my memories… D-Dipper and Steven are me… a-and I’m going to get all of them back… n-no matter what happens…”

“That’s right,” Mabel solidly agreed, grabbing one of Stepper’s lower hands in complete support for this mission. “And this time, I’ve got your back, Ste-bro.”

Stepper offered her a thankful smile at this, though even so, the pair was still met with resistance from the others. “Kids, we appreciate your bravery, but this is far too dangerous for you,” Pearl shook her head. “You both need to stay here with Peridot where it’s safe. We’ll be back with the journal before you know it.”

“But-”

“No,” Garnet cut both of them off as she went to join the others near the machine. “You’re both staying here. That’s final.”

Neither Stepper nor Mabel had time to argue as Peridot flipped the switch on the machine, a bright light sparking around its central hub. From that light, a portal was quick to open up, bright and vibrant even as it connected to the dreadful place they all knew that had to go: the Nightmare Realm. “Is everyone ready?” Ford asked the others, all of whom had either taken up or summoned their weapons for whatever fray laid before them. “Good. Then let’s go.”

Knowing the portal would only remain open for a short window of time, the group marched onward into it, all six of them unflinchingly ready to face the dream demon and retake what he had stolen. However, as the last of them passed through the portal, Stepper and Mabel exchanged a brief nod, both of them prepared to act on the exact same idea as they ran forward toward the portal as it began to close. 

“W-wait!” Peridot shouted the moment she realized what the pair was doing, but by then it was too late. 

Because just before the portal could disappear out of existence entirely, Stepper and Mabel both leapt through it together, disregarding any sort of orders the adults had given them. They were going to face the Nightmare Realm, to face Bill Cipher himself, no matter how daunting or dangerous such a struggle might become. 

And as far as Stepper was concerned, he wasn’t about to come back until he had finally remembered exactly who he was supposed to be. 

To be continued...

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[fountainpenguin]

So if the Aos Si split into Fairy/Anti-Fairy/Refract in ancient times, and there's a religion that believes Fairy/Anti-Fairy/Refract become one after death, are those beings the same concept? Could we see the afterlife form of a Fairy/Anti-Fairy/Refract in your headcanon?

They’re the same basic concept, but I don’t use “Aos Sí” in conjecture with “afterlife forms” to avoid confusion. We could call them the Daoine Sìth, since that’s their Scottish name. Let’s go with that- the Daoine.

To break it down, I think I’ve said “The Aos Sí evolved into the Fairies” before, but “evolved” isn’t the most accurate word. They didn’t fade away gradually. They shattered into their three parts all at once, and slowly picked themselves up and made sense of the world; they called themselves the Sluagh back then.

I mostly based my interpretation of the Aos Sí splitting apart off something written by Plato, if you haven’t guessed by now. This leaves us with a batch of soulmate trios trying to figure themselves out-

Refracts by nature are affectionate, and still foster some deep instinct to reunite with their counterparts… in intimate ways that aren’t really accepted by society. Separation left them with the desire to be together again, and despite what they may tell you, they tend to develop crushes very easily- especially on their counterparts. How embarrassing. I think you can see what all spawned their obsessive piety and prompted their withdrawal to the upper planes of existence in the first place. It’s a constant war of nature vs. nurture up there.

Fairies by nature are bold leaders. With the most important reproductive parts and the single life-sustaining organ between three beings contained in a single body, they’re wired for self-defense. They are quick to act, tough to catch, and very resilient. Their instinct is to lash out at something they see as a threat and ask questions only once it’s safely out of commission; over generations of instincts, events, and media, Anti-Fairies became one of these targets.

Anti-Fairies by nature are loyal protectors. As a rule, once they fixate on a cause, it’s very difficult to wean them off it. Like Refracts, they often find themselves drawn to their own counterparts too- and specifically, to the fragile core residing in their head. Entirely invincible unless their “host” is killed, it only makes sense that Anti-Fairies would feel powerful ties of loyalty to their Fairy; if Fairies react through reflexes rather than thought processing, you could say that Anti-Fairies are the ones who ended up with their united form’s amygdala and have a far better understanding of risks, consequences, and safety. 

Fairies are insects- they wander where they want with limited fear, and leave only when their lives are in danger. Birds can often be lured near with food. Bats see danger and steer clear.

Perhaps you guessed where this was going- Refracts made themselves scarce not long after the split, but with Antis feeling obligated to keep their Fairy piece safe, this was the era when Antis were treated as pets… or wild animals.

This treatment of Anti-Fairies slowly trickled out of existence when Jay Rhoswen came along, which is why he’s so important to Anti-Fairies even though he was Seelie. Anyway, generations passed and we ended up with the situation we have in present day: Refracts teaching their children that being attracted to their counterparts is shameful, Anti-Fairies attacking anything that might cause their Fairy counterpart harm, and Fairies seeing Anti-Fairies as aggressive (or bad luck) and chasing them off whenever they spy them.

(I imagine that what happens next is, careless Fairy bumps into ladder as he walks underneath it. Refract falls and gets hurt while Anti-Fairy tackles Fairy away from the ladder danger, but Fairy gets elbow scraped in the process. Unable to recognize the danger of the ladder and what just happens, Fairy blames injured elbow on Anti-Fairy attacking out of nowhere and gets upset.

Compare that with:

These are the same three beings as a whole. They haven’t lost their individual personality traits (love for life, awareness of danger, desire for acceptance). They just function better as a team, covering one another’s weak points.)

I like to think that the Aos Sí all split in the same time period, but not necessarily the same day or even year, so you had this progression from people thinking that having split is shameful and desperate trios trying to force themselves back together, to the belief that being able to be “three places at once” is admirable until the remaining Aos Sí were forcibly putting themselves under immense stress until they split like some rite of passage. Like losing your virginity, I guess? Some of them regretted splitting, others loved it.

99% of the population agrees the Aos Sí existed; the debate is about their relation to present-day Fairies. Many Fairies believe they split from the Aos Sí, even if they don’t actively practice the religious aspects of the belief. They’re magical beings with counterparts whose lives magically mirror their own; a creature so overcome with emotional stress that it split into three isn’t too wild.

Many other Fairies believe that the Aos Sí existed, but either argue that evolution occurred in a slow process, or that they have no relation to present-day Fairies at all. Anti-Cosmo is in another group and acknowledges that his ancient ancestors were perhaps a single being, but believes the split to be permanent, and doesn’t agree with the idea of joining up with Cosmo Prime and Dame Cosmo in Daoine form after death. Doesn’t want to either.

The Daoine form is supposed to be a harmonious combination of three parts, but Anti-Cosmo quietly fears that if he were to reunite with his counterparts after death, he’d be overpowered by Cosmo, cease to be himself entirely, and/or have to deal with the irritating twit for all eternity. Not his cup of tea. He tries not to think about it because it’s not relevant to his daily life, so why bother stressing about something that will either be inevitable or impossible?

I think that’s all the set-up I wanted to cover, so here, have a Nebulas. Seems appropriate to start with him since his pieces have canonical deaths and all.

Despite being hermaphrodite, I think most of the Daoine would prefer to use the dominant pronouns from when they were alive (Ex: Cosmo and Anti-Cosmo outnumber Dame Cosmo and would use male pronouns while Wanda and Anti-Wanda overpower Drake Wanda and so would use female ones). The Aos Sí would have used “they” because they didn’t know anything different.

And what the heck, have some other guys too. I’ve been wanting to draw them since forever anyway: 

I figure that when you get to heaven, you receive perfect eyesight and lose your wounds, so Fergusi gets his crown healed and a mask marking to replace his glasses. Similarly, Cosmos gets his checkered pattern because Anti-Cosmo only had the one monocle (Fun Fact: Markings are a Daoine thing; they wouldn’t have them - or their shirts - if they’d been born as proper Aos Sí).

He’ll dress himself better when he’s done thoroughly freaking out, I think.

The “First Things First” prompt is going to cover one of the last Aos Sí (Kahnii the Thoughtful) and their choice to split. And while the concept gets hinted at sometimes in my work, the Daoine aren’t going to appear. Or will they? 

They’re fun to think about, though! I do love obsessively fleshing out the magical insect world. If you guys want me to draw moreAos Sí/Daoine, or if you design some of your own and want to show me, let me know!

BONUS:

[e350tb]

Steven Universe: Marooned Together - Chapter Fifty-Three

(with thanks to @real-fakedoors for proofreading!)

Ruby sat on one of the chairs on the bridge, looking more than a little woozy as she gazed down at the gem on her hand.

They had rushed her straight inside, and Stevonnie had immediately prepared a hefty lug of spit for the wound. It had worked as expected, the cracks closing up and leaving a perfectly healthy looking surface, but the little red gem still felt decidedly off, and Peridot had decided to run her own diagnostic to be on the safe side. Sapphire had stayed almost glued to her side, and Stevonnie had hung around to make sure one of their favourite gems was unharmed.

“Hmm,” Peridot looked up from the tablet, shaking her head.

“Hmm?” Sapphire repeated worriedly.

“There’s still fragments of the bullet in there,” explained Peridot. “The tiny traces of lead in your gem could interfere with your powers… Ruby, make a fireball.”

“Are you sure we should do that on the bridge?” asked Stevonnie.

Ruby held out her hand and focused…

...and focused…

...and focused…

“As I suspected,” nodded Peridot, glancing to Ruby (she looked almost like she was going to burst.) “Your gem is reacting to the foreign objects inside it by going into what you might call safe mode. It allows you to maintain your hard light form, but is preventing you from creating fire, shapeshifting and summoning a weapon.”

“Wh… what about fusion?” asked Ruby, shooting a furtive glance in Sapphire’s direction. “Can I do that?”

“Oh, of course not!” said Peridot, waving her hand dismissively. “If safe mode won’t let you do something as elementary as summon a weapon, what makes you think…”

She trailed off as she took in Ruby’s distraught expression.

“...b-but there’s good news!” She pointed at the ceiling. “This isn’t too hard a fix; we can flush your gem of contaminants at a proper physical maintenance station - or failing that, the New Earth Hospital. You just have to hang on until you get home!”

“But that could be ages!” whined Ruby.

“It’s fiiiine!” exclaimed Peridot. “Just use this as time to engage in mutually enjoyable mouth-to-mouth fluid exchange!”

Ruby pouted, and Sapphire put a hand on her shoulder.

“It’s okay, Ruby,” she said. “We’ll survive.”

“I know, it’s just… I can’t use my powers until we get home,” muttered Ruby. “What can I do?”

“I have a few ideas,” said Sapphire, grinning.

Ruby chuckled.

“Oh you.”

“Hey, ‘Vonnie!” Amethyst was leaning on the doorframe, arms crossed. “Kevin C. Cucumber just woke up. Want me to kick his butt?”

“No, no!” exclaimed Stevonnie, getting to their feet. “We need to question him!”

“Can we question him with the whip?” asked Amethyst, drawing it from her gem.

Stevonnie frowned.

“No,” they said flatly.

---

Beneath the fluorescent lights of the ship’s med bay (a simple white room with a hospital bed and some medical supplies), Kevin looked like hell. His skin was patchy and red with sunburn, his lips cracked and dry, and his teeth and gums looked like they’d been ridden with rot and disease over the years. There were nasty scars, some bright and fresher than the others, and a variety of spots and boils all over. Stevonnie imagined the New Earth Hospital staff looking over him, tutting their teeth and shaking their heads. Bismuth and Lapis were standing guard over him as Amethyst and Stevonnie strode in.

“Alright, Dumbledork, start talking,” spat Amethyst. “Why d’you hate gems?”

“Gems…” Kevin’s eyes seemed wild and unfocused as he spoke. “Changed water. Can… can… can not drink water.”

“Why’s he talking like that?” asked Amethyst.

“He can’t have spoken in years,” replied Bismuth. “Probably has to think about what words to use.”

“Water changes mind,” continued Kevin. “Rots. Makes people like… like…”

“Zombies?” quizzed Amethyst.

Kevin shook his head. He pondered for a moment, then moved his hands back and forth in a mechanical fashion.

“Like robots?” asked Stevonnie.

“They’re… happy,” said Kevin. “Always happy. And… dumb. Work for gem. Big. Blue. Has a whip.”

“That sounds familiar,” said Amethyst warily.

“Kevin, is this gem named Holly Blue?” asked Stevonnie.

Kevin nodded.

“Holl… Holly Blue. Uses water, controls… humans. Makes them young. Makes them slaves.”

“So it’s like the fountain of youth, but bad?”

“What’s the fountain of youth?” asked Lapis.

“I’ll tell you later, honey.”

“Huh… honey.”

Kevin frowned.

“You and the gem!” he said, pointing accusatory. “You choosened!”

Stevonnie and Lapis both blushed as Amethyst began to laugh.

“Yeah, hold up Kenan, they’re not that far yet,” said Bismuth flatly.

“Gems can’t love humans!” thundered Kevin. “Gems slave humans!”

“It doesn’t have to be that way, Kevin!” replied Stevonnie. “There’s a place far away from here called New Earth, and-”

“New Earth?”

Kevin’s eyes widened.

“The space woman came from New Earth,” he said.

“Jenny?” asked Bismuth.

“They… took her,” nodded Kevin. “To their camp. To give her the water.”

Stevonnie and the gems glanced warily at each other.

“Kevin,” said Stevonnie. “Where is their camp?”

----

“...so he said it was at a waterfall, then he tried to attack Lapis so I punched him again,” finished Bismuth.

The crew of the Crystal Avenger had gathered on the bridge to discuss the issue. Zircon was nervously pacing back and forth, while the rest of the crew either sat on the chairs or stood up. Amethyst sat in the captain’s chair, making a show of looking deep in thought.

“M-maybe we should get backup,” stammered Zircon. “Like the Titan! We could just blast it from orbit?”

“But that would kill all the humans,” replied Ruby.

“...oh, yeah, we-we don’t want that,” nodded Zircon sheepishly.

“We need to infiltrate Holly Blue’s base,” mused Sapphire. “But we need the right person to send in.”

Stevonnie scratched their chin.

“It can’t be anyone Holly knows,” they said. “So that’s Amethyst, Ruby and Sapphire out.”

“And she might recognise your gem too, dude,” nodded Amethyst.

“Yeah,” Stevonnie nodded. “I might look different than Steven, but I don’t think it’s worth the risk. She definitely won’t  want Esteban Univeridad back in her life. It needs to be someone who doesn’t look like they can fight.”

“I probably look too much like a threat,” added Bismuth. “Wouldn’t be good at pretending to be harmless; upper-crust agates get under my gem.”

“Maybe Lapis?” quizzed Ruby.

“A Lapis? Defenseless? Near a waterfall?” replied Lapis.

“Point taken.”

“And Peri can’t act to save her life, so she’s out,” said Amethyst bluntly.

“Hey!”

“So you need someone who can pass as a scared, defenseless traveller with no weapons and no threat,” said Zircon. “But you can all clearly fight? How can you…”

She trailed off.

“Uh… wh-why is everyone looking at me?”

----

Zircon walked through the jungle, shaking as she glanced from left to right. A tiny, concealed communication device had been slipped under her jacket, so she knew the others were listening - but still, she felt decidedly isolated.

“I hate this, I hate this, I hate this,” she whispered.

“You’ll be fine, Zircs,” Amethyst replied. “We’re gonna be watching you the whole time, okay?”

“What if they shatter me before you can get to me though?”

There was a long silence.

“You’re gonna be okay, Zircon.”

Zircon pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Okay, don’t panic, don’t panic,” she whispered to herself. “Everything is going to be just fi-”

“Halt!”

A red blur burst out of the bushes, and Zircon jumped. She backed up against a tree, sweating and eyes wild as she gazed at her assailant. Her life flashed before her eyes - ohstarsineverkissedyellow…

“Heh, nice one Carnelian.”

The Carnelian grinned as a pair of Amethyst guards stepped out of the trees, alone and unarmed. They smirked as they looked over the quivering Zircon.

“Hey, check it out, we’ve got a lawyer,” said one. “How d’you think she got here, Jay?”

“I, uh, crashed,” replied Zircon.

“Yeah, that makes sense,” ‘Jay’ replied, “I mean, a Zircon flying a ship? Get a load of that, Gee.”

“I had a pilot, bu-bu-but she, uh, died,” said Zircon.

The Amethysts glanced at each other.

“Dang,” said Gee.

“Would’ve been nice to meet a cute little Peridot,” said Jay.

“So, uh, do-do-do you have a camp?” asked Zircon. “F-for shelter? F-for a… for a defenseless Zircon?”

There was a rustling behind the guards, and they glanced behind them.

“Hold up,” said Jay. “The humans are getting curious.”

Out of the bushes, a head appeared - dark skinned and black haired, with her hair tied up in a bun. Her eyes seemed glassy and slightly unfocused, and if Zircon guessed she was perhaps in her late twenties.

“Oh! Uh, is she…”

“Oh, don’t worry about her,” said Gee. “She’s cool.”

“Yeah,” added Carnelian. “Kiki here wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

Through her communicator, Zircon heard Stevonnie silently swear.