#I wasn't sure how I felt about this until I played veilguard

[thessaralka]

i really love the idea that Solas and Lavellan had sex in DAI because it adds a other layer of regret and yearning and self loathing to Solas's character arc and makes it just one more thing he feels he needs to be redeemed for, and adds more depth and nuance to their relationship. he also just seems like the type to fully commit emotionally to someone when he's physically intimate with them and I've never been a big fan of the idea that UST needs to (or even can) be dragged out for years to be romantic. like after a certain amount of time it's not sexy anymore. most adults who have been in sexual relationships understand that sex makes your relationship deeper, it doesn't ruin anything unless the relationship was illusory in the first place, and having sex with/ physically bonding to your literal soulmate and then not getting to touch them for years causes a lot more yearning than any mental fantasy ever could.

[felassan]

I received a few asks around a similar topic, so I'm popping them together here. ( ´ ▽ ` ) DA:TV spoilers under cut.

[the Felassan Files]

hello! ◕‿◕ thank you for the lovely and fun ask messages!!

lavendervoids asked: "i’ve been dying to know what ur reaction was to seeing felassan in the game was???? the moment i saw him i was yelling and hollering and my first thought was “omg what does tumblr user felassan think of this” LMAO and thank you for all the documenting you’ve been doing up until and past the release of the game, i ended up blocking every dragon age tag a couple months back to avoid any sort of spoilers but i still came to your blog everyday cause i knew you wouldn’t spoil me haha"

hhhh ( ´ ▽ ` ) tysm for thinking of me at that time!! and for the nice comment about this blog and visiting it. I'm really glad to know that my approach to spoiler tagging etc has been okay for you.

littlerune asked: "i don't even know you but you and dragon age felassan are so intrinsically linked in my brain that when he appeared in veilguard all i thought was "ohhhh i wonder how tumblr user felassan feels about this"

hhhh :D 🥺 thankyou so much for thinking of me!! ♡ some say that his ghost operates this tumblr blog, or that he lives still

songofamazon asked: "I'm still on my first play of the game, but whenever I got to the memories in the Crossroads, I thought to myself, "I hope Tumblr Felassan is having a great time. Did you?"

I had a great time playing the game and when playing the Crossroads memories sections, I loved them a lot, they were very cool and a highlight of the game. thankyou sm and for thinking of me, and I hope that you did too!!

phantabula-interactive asked: "im so glad you're enjoying the game!! I had to ask; how did you feel about seeing Felassan in game?? I was so excited to see the notes from him, I wasn't expecting a boss fight MUCH LESS. FULL CAMEO!!! They made him a lot prettier than I was expecting too (/pos)"

thankyou!! I hope that you've been enjoying it too!

so: I was sooo excited and shook to see Felassan in the game!!! I was like

(I yelped/hooted out loud like a clown) and then

and then it was suddenly like too much (pos) and my soul left my body and i astral projected into space/paradise/the Astral Plane/the Void or something etc

and then it took me some time to process or gather my thoughts about it.

obviously I was super hoping that we would see him in the game. I was sure that there would at least be some references to him in codexes/notes etc or allusions made in passing dialogue like Cole and Solas' lines about him in Trespasser. then when the marketing mentioned that we would see flashbacks from Solas' past in the Crossroads, I was like aaa omg, wouldn't that be the perfect time to actually show Felassan??, as a Fade memory or flashback or spirit echo or something. so then I was hoping like 🕯️🕯️🕯️ and yea. but even so, still when I saw him in game for the first time it was still a huge shocked Pikachu moment for me.

I was already feeling psyched from the first Felassan codex/note that I found, then I couldn't believe (pos) just how many codexes/notes scattered around written by him that there was?? I was already feeling spoiled (not spoiled by spoilers but like spoiled from eating good) from that (a bunch of codexes/notes might not seem like a lot but when your fav is a side character that has only appeared in one [1] tie-in novel..) and then he goes and actually APPEARS, AAAA. I feel like I ate so good. with the Betrayal fight and the rune at the end as well, it felt like he was threaded throughout the game and was really haunting the narrative. some assorted thoughts:

first of all everything about his DA:TV appearances/DA:TV references continues to underscore that he is the greatest of all time

it also continues to underscore the pain of his death/story and of his friendship with Solas

may I please go and start a new life living in Solas' memories of Felassan on repeat. i simply do not care that my body would waste away in the waking world from lack of sustenance

in the endgame I was trying to concentrate and punch Elgar'nan in the face and save the world but I like couldn't see straight through the tears after having been given Felassan's Magical Boyfriend Super Rune (morrigan pls.. what a way to twist the KNIFE at an extremely critical moment for thedas hhhh..)

expansion pack where we relive Solas' memories of him and Felassan dating (he didn't deserve Felassan tho fr. but then, does anyone..?)

I know that Felassan would treat Lavellan sooooo right. so well. so respectfully. felassan would pull their chair out for them at restaurants and open car doors and whatever

Betrayal of Felassan refers to Solas' betrayal of Felassan, not Felassan's betrayal of Solas

also i love how they made him DEVASTATINGLY handsome?? in the game (they didnt need to go that hard), but also how, at the same time - even before the TME Deluxe edition illustrations, we all just inherently knew deep in our bones that he was, you could simply just tell from his energy and vibes and dialogue even in only the written word. cool rolls off this guy in waves, and always has done

did his model have smoky winged eye makeup? love that. love that for him

I liked his sense of style. the hair his model has happened to be one of the ones I was debating using for my Rook. it's one of my fav ones from the CC

I appreciated the attention they paid to detail when making his model. Mythal vallaslin, violet/purple eyes, an undercut - as he was previously described or shown in TME, dev social media comments and the TME deluxe illustrations

I liked the actor they chose for him, his voice was cool

I felt like his codexes and notes that he wrote captured his voice and his character. you can see the depth of his loyalty and devotion to his friend, his concerns, and he retains his 'voice' in terms of some snark, wit etc

it's fun thinking about whether Felassan originally manifested from the Fade (and if so, what was he a spirit of) or whether he was born the usual way of other elves. (it could be either one)

Betrayal of Felassan as a manifested embodied regret and its lines like "his back, turned".. very raw. that fight was hard enough mechanically for me as it was, then the lines were like being hamstrung LOL. how could they??? (pos/lh)

I always thought that, a long time ago, Solas was essentially the player character in a different game, the main character of another story. the leader of his own group of companions and friends on their own quest (to stop the Evanuris), and that Felassan was one of those companions. Alistair to his Hero of Ferelden if you will. in DA:TV we learn that not only was he one of his companions, he was basically the second-in-command of his rebellion, a General, his closest friend aside from Mythal and his right-hand man.

he was so cool back in his heyday

pain. paaaaain. but like in a good way (I unironically love to be hurt by stories pls continue 💀...)

there are a few further posts containing more bits of my reaction and thoughts scattered through my Felassan tag. ^^

There were also a few other asks about this in my inbox, but Tumblr appears to have eaten them?? :< so if you've asked me about Felassan and my reaction since launch but the message isn't in this post, thankyou sm and I'm very sorry. 😔 pls feel free to re-send it. :)

I do remember that one of the vanished messages asked me what the Slaughter of the Pillars boss regret refers to - the Pillars of the Earth are the Titans. ("Hail Mythal, adjudicator and savior! She has struck down the pillars of the earth and rendered their demesne unto the People! Praise her name forever!") That undead boss embodies another of Solas' greatest regrets, namely what he and Mythal did to the Titans during the war with them - sundering every Titan from their spirit, severing them from their dreams, which resulted in the Blight as the dreams were driven mad. it also in a sense broke the dwarves in two and caused the fall of the fate of the dwarven people. Beyond the mural-memory that pertains to this in DA:TV, there are depictions of this time in the ancient past in the DA:TV artbook: [one, two]. Annotations there describe Solas rendering the Titans tranquil and capturing their souls; dwarves as a consequence then losing their connection to magic and fleeing into the now-Tranquil earth; and the Evanuris then building Elvhenan using the power of the captured Titan souls.

[miniar]

So... I'm listening to the pre-veilguard ðragon age podcast... and by andraste's tits do I have THOUGHTS...

First and foremost among them is "oh gods if I wasn't already invested in the world of ðragon age I would turn this shit off so fast..."

Seriously, it feels like the author has never written anything for reading or listening to before... There's a profound lack of "show, not tell" which may sound counter-intuitive for a non visual media such as this, but there are ways around that that don't involve having the various bad-guys literally narrating the environment to the good-guys mid combat.

Yes, literally.

I'm not using literally in a hyperbolic manner.

Having a throwaway nameless enemy tell the named and known protagonist what the environment they are battling on top of is... is not good storytelling.

So when I say that the writing is... Thick... I'm being kind.

And I've only listened to two episodes thus far.

The first started out okay-ish, not great, but became quite thick with heavy handed tropes and writing as it went on, but it was tolerable. It wasn't good, but it wasn't so horrible I'd turn it off mid episode, but if I wasn't already a big fan of the games, I'd have stopped there, thinking it not worth continuing.

The second STARTED with that bit of dialog.

And then... a shooting lesson which felt for all the world like the author didn't know how bows work at all and didn't have the time to give that a quick google. I mean, I'd be hard pressed to call myself an archer, having only shot a bow on a handful of occasions, but seriously. I'll bet even someone whose only experience of using a bow is literally by playing ðragon age, can tell that the lesson given was absolute bullshit.

And now I'm writing this, partially because BY THE MAKER I feel the need to flail my arms and rant about this, but ALSO.... I am PROCRASTINATING starting the next episode!

That's how bad this is!

It brought me out of my very introverted and hyperfocused bubble so I could aggresively slap my keyboard around in an effort to get all the WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!? out before subjecting myself to another heaping spoonful.

So yeah...

I don't recommend this as an introduction to the world of Ðragon Age. I don't recommend this as a standalone.

Honestly.

I'm not sure if I'd recommend this for anyone, for any reason.

Unless you want an perfectly innocent reason to rant for a bit I guess.

I'm genuinely surprised it's an official released thing. I half expect it to be intended as a teaser to hype people up for the upcoming game (which I won't be buying until the strike is resolved ofc), but I don't think that it would work that way.

Honestly, as someone who is exactly the ÐA target audience (a person who loves story driven, deep lore, romance option, fantasy games of this type), if this was my introduction to the series, I'd assume that it was plagued by this kind of writing. That the dialog in the games would be heavy, thick with cliches, and just, in general terribly written. That the storyline would be superficial takes on common tropes lacking in any depth. That the characters would be one dimensional and... frankly... common.

I might still pick up veilguard, eventually, like a couple years later, on a 50% or better sale... and be surprised (gods I hope it's not... like this... ) but only if I hadn't anything better to play.

Anyway...

Time for episode 3...

I'd say I'd hope for it to be any better, but I don't expect it.

[solavelyan]

Just under 27 hours left until 10 years of waiting is over.

I never did get around to doing everything I wanted to do before the next game came out, but none of that stuff is going anywhere. It's just been a really long, weird, often very bad decade.

I've been lucky in this lead up that nothing I've seen in the promo, content-wise, has given me much concern if it didn't excite me. I'm going in with as open of a mind as I can manage and withholding critical judgment until I can see the full picture for myself - admittedly, with a bias toward the benefit of the doubt. The devs who have been on and off of this project in the last decade care about telling a good story as much as I do about hearing one, and the love and care on display from the people who made this thing - even the ones actively fucked over by corpo shit - softens my opinion of some of the more controversial writing choices. They were in the weeds and I wasn't, and I'm more than willing to head them out.

I keep coming up with Rook concepts, feeling settled in them for a few days, and then talking myself out of them and changing my mind. I genuinely have no idea what I'm going to do first - but I'm sure whatever it is will be fun, and I'm excited for it.

Most importantly, I'm going to make more effort to stay off social media. I've tried being on less the last few days and it's been... to mixed results, for somewhat IRL reasons that don't matter here so I won't write them down. My worst fandom trait is that I don't enjoy Disk Horse, but when I see something I'm confused or appalled by, I go digging and then suddenly I know more than I wanted, feel obligated to have a reaction (even if it's internal), and then have to give myself a little talking-to anytime I feel the pull of "should I do X or Y in my game? People on (website) say that Y is fucked up or annoying because...". I know this is a habit of mine, and it is some level of mental "work" to get back to a more reasonable stance of "who gives a fuck, it's fake people, shut up and just do what you want, don't take the opinion of strangers you discovered just in time to disagree with them to heart."

I think some of the emotional weirdness is that the world has changed so much, but fandom is still itself. It's having the same drama and discourse and excitement and bullshit and joy as it ever has. I was here for the DA2 and Inquisition releases, and Veilguard's promo really has in some ways felt like being in 2014 again, for better or worse.

I'm sure I'll functionally disappear for a while for this one, just like I did with DAI. And I'm almost as horribly depressed as I was when DA2 launched and I played it in a 3-day fugue state. We'll see how it goes.

But the biggest thing I'm trying to avoid here is how I felt a couple weeks after BG3. I made the mistake of being on twitter more last year, and that's where all the worst bullshit lives these days (which it then leaks all over the place). It took about 2 weeks for the warm and fuzzies to wear off and for people to start feeling comfortable mocking and bullying random strangers who were doing nothing to anyone for the crime of making "boring" Tavs, or to start breaking off into factions based on favorite love interests and then being real big assholes about it. And it only went downhill after that. It ended up being that going into the general tags meant it was just a countdown before I saw really bitch-ass posts about how people pick (race of my character) and or romance (companion I romanced) are annoying and stupid and ruining fandom and so "boring" that reposting their screenshots for mockery is an acceptable pastime. It wasn't bigotry or anything - although the rampant and aggressive biphobia certainly was, that also sucked - but it quickly soured a lot of my experience, as someone who mostly minds my own business just vibing with my OCs and stuff with my little 4-note posts. I felt like I was constantly catching strays for having the gall to not have developed an "I thought X was cool but realized after a week it was bad and dumb" mentality, as so often crops up when the honeymoon cools and people kind of start to rot in fandom and care way too fucking much about what other people are doing because they're done actually engaging with the material directly.

Unfortunately, I think that shit is inevitable, and I just... don't want to see it. I don't want to fall in love with Companion Y or enjoy Plot Point X, only to check my socials and find people calling anyone who shares my opinion a stupid asshole who's ruining everything for other people just by existing, or basically a bigot for not digitally fucking their favorite or playing a character they find interesting. DA fandom has always been this way, and it sucks ass.

Honestly, I think that's why I'm so open to being charmed by the new game: because my apprehension isn't the game, it's fandom fucking bullshit. I'll always be happy to see more people enjoying things, but I've been here through some ugly shit and DA flavored fandom drama is almost always stupid horrible nonsense, and I'm not looking forward to that shit ramping up.

So I'm doing my very best to cocoon, only talk directly to my friends, and just enjoy this thing I've been waiting for for a decade without giving in to my impulse to care too much about everything all the time. I'll probably post pictures of my Rook or something, but I don't want to be ~around~ until I've finished at least my first playthrough.

The tl;dr of this is that I'm very very excited for the game itself and am ready to be impressed. Gimme the good heartbreak, Weekes.