#I wasn't ignoring this my brain just crashed after receiving it

[white-nolse]

I have followed your steps in complete silence, I have seen how you have developed and advanced a little more every day. It is incredible that sometimes ourselves don't perceive our progress and feel that we are stagnant when in truth I, being a third party in your life, have seen your progress and feel prouder of you every day. Without a doubt you make me very happy, your dedication, your unconditional love and your way of seeing things makes me attract you.

trust and love yourself each day, it's what would make me most proud and trully happy.

-🍒N.K

I- Uh- Wh-

[froggywritesstuff]

jerk | mike wheeler

pairings: Mike Wheeler x g/n!reader

warnings: Mike's a bitch in this cause why not, swearing

request: Hey can I please suggest one where it’s a Mike wheeler x reader and Mike acts like he hates them because he is worried that if he doesn’t hate them he will admit his feelings so one day he walks in on them crying and feels horrible

A/N: 18+ readers DNI.

The cafeteria was buzzing, students laughing and chatting with one another, the teens sitting with Eddie Munson ignoring the disgusted stares from everyone else, being used to it by now. The Party members were talking and laughing with one another as usual, all except for the dark haired Wheeler boy, who sat looking rather blue at the table, his head looking down at his lunch tray, picking at the food with his plastic fork.

"Wheeler, what's going on?" Mike's head shot up at Eddie's familiar voice, "You look all sad. You better not be like that for the campaign tonight." he remarked, receiving a cheer from the rest of the party at the mention of the campaign.

"Nah, it's nothing." he lied, dropping his gaze back down to the mushy food on his tray.

Lucas rolled his eyes, "Someone's just sad that Y/N's not here today."

Mike's cheeks burned bright red, "No I'm not!" he denied.

The teens at the table all snickered and laughed at Mike's flustered expression, Eddie being the exception, who just furrowed his brows together in confusion.

"Y/N? By the way you always glare and roll your eyes at them, I assumed you just hated them."

Mike nodded at Eddie, "That's because I do hate them." he urged, though it seemed like he was just trying to convince himself.

"Sure you do," Dustin mumbled, rolling his eyes, "That's why you keep looking at them with heart eyes, 'oh Y/N, I don't know how to express my feelings around you so I'll just be mean to you instead, but I really really like you.'" he mocked, earning a death glare from Mike.

"That's not funny, Dustin." 

Lucas snickered, "It's kinda funny."

Mike rolled his eyes, standing up from the table, forgetting about the crappy cafeteria slop people called food. It was the last thing on his mind. He ignored the calls from Lucas and Dustin attempting to apologise and exited the cafeteria. Mike made his way outside the building, striding toward the old wall phone in front of the building, mainly used for kids when their parents forget to pick them up or when people are just bored, but Mike had other intentions.

He hastily dialled the number he had engraved in his brain, brought the phone to his ear and listened to it ring. The dial tone ran through the phone for what felt like an eternity, before the beep sounded. 

"Piece of shit," Mike hissed, slamming the phone back in its place. He ran a hand through his hair with a sigh. How was he supposed to go with his day now? He needed to see you. At least hear your voice. It was driving him crazy with you not there.

Mike could barely focus the rest of the school day, his mind racing with thoughts. Make that one thought. After all, he could only bring himself to think about you.

The second the bell rang for home-time, Mike sped out of school, no time to explain to Lucas and Dustin what the hell he was doing. He wasn't even sure what he was doing himself. Though he knew what he wanted to do. See you.

He sped down the streets on his bike, wind flipping in his hair, too pumped up on adrenaline to care about his legs burning from how fast he was going. He almost missed your house he was going so fast, and almost crashed into your mailbox. OR he might've crashed. Again, he was too pumped up to care.

He hurried to your front door, pounding his fist on the wood almost a hundred times, before someone finally answered.

"Who the hell are you and why are you trying to break down our door?!”

”Is Y/N here?” he asked breathlessly, only just realising he could’ve paced himself a bit more. He realised the person at the door was one of your parents and he definitely should’ve made a better first impression, but he didn’t have time to care.

”Huh?”

”Is Y/N here?!”

”Yeah. Are you part of their dnd team or something.”

”Party. Dnd party- yes.”

“I bet they’ll probably wanna talk to you then.” they said, opening their further to let Mike in.

”Why? What’s wrong?” he asked, practically sprinting inside.

”I doubt they wanna tell me. You’ll probably have better luck.”

Mike had his doubts about that, but nodded his head nonetheless, “Thanks,” he said, sprinting off to your room.

He hadn’t been to your house in ages; he almost forgot where it was. That thought alone made him feel even worse than he already did.

When he made it to your room he knocked, anxiously waiting for your reply.

”Come in,” you called.

Mike practically burst through the door at your words, but reality hit him like a brick when he saw your confused expression, and he realised he had no idea what he was doing.

”Mike?” he just stood there, not having the slightest clue of what to say, “what are you doing here?”

Mike opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again, trying his best to form words, “I. Uh… you weren’t at school today, I wanted to check if you were ok.”

You furrowed your eyebrows at him. The Mike Wheeler you thought you knew wouldn’t give a shit about your well-being. You thought he’d be jumping for joy when you weren’t there, “What does that mean?”

Mike took a breath, “I was just worried,” he walked further in your room, before noticing your face shiny with tears, “shit Y/N, have you been crying.”

You resisted the urge to wipe the tears from your face, knowing that’d just confirm his suspicions. “No.” 

“Yes you have. Y/N, what’s wrong?” 

"Nothing." you pressed, not wanting him to know.

"Then why are you crying?"

"I'm not."

"Bullshit."

"Fuck you."

"What?" Mike heard what you said perfectly fine. He didn't care if you had to curse him out for hours; he just wanted to know what was wrong.

You rolled your eyes, "I said 'fuck you'."

"Why?"

You stared at him in pure disbelief, "Why? Mike, you have been the biggest fucking asshole to me for months!" you continued when Mike stared at you like an idiot, "You're always rolling your eyes whenever I talk, I catch you death staring me, and whenever I try to ask you what I did wrong you just fucking ran away." Hearing you say that, he realised that was probably a dumb move. "A-and now you're here asking me why I'm crying and not going to the campaign tonight? It's fucking confusing."

"Y/N, I'm sorry. I don't mean to be a jerk to you. I just..." he trailed off, not wanting to finish his sentence.

You stared blankly at him, "What?"

"I-" he cut himself off with a groan, holding his head in his head, "I don't think of you as my friend, Y/N."

Despite your eye roll, you still felt your heart pang at Mike's words. "You made that clear."

Mike squeezed his eyes shut in frustration. He didn't know why he could never have a normal conversation with you. "No, I didn't mean it like that. I, ugh. I like you." he blurted out, immediately feeling his cheeks go red.

You stared at him, "What?"

"I like you Y/N. Not in a friend way."

You felt your heart rate quicken as you began to realise what he was talking about, "Like in a Max and Lucas way?"

He nodded, "And that's not an excuse for how I was acting, I just didn't know how else to deal with it cause I know you don't like me that way, and being a jerk was the only thing I knew I could do. I don't know how to be a good boyfriend, I know how to be a jerk."

You stared at Mike for a while, gathering up all your thoughts before you spoke, "You're wrong Mike."

"What? I wasn't a jerk?"

"No," you furrowed your brows, "You were definitely a jerk. You're wrong cause you said I don't like you."

Mike froze. "Huh?"

"I like you too Mike. When you're not acting like a jerk though, so fucking stop that."

"Oh." he sighed in relief, cheeks burning bright red. "I was not expecting that."

"Yeah, because you're also an idiot."

buy me a coffee <3

[floraphoenix]

Nightly Rounds (Amit Thakkar x Hufflepuff!Reader)

When Amit got appointed as Head Boy, he was absolutely thrilled. He'd worked so hard, bless him, and he got a fancy title!

But where there's a Head Boy, there's a Head Girl.

And who'd be more fitting than the graceful, intelligent, beautiful Hufflepuff who came crashing into his life in their first year.

He'd be pleased with this fact…

If she wasn't his enemy.

They'd had it out for each other since they met. As nice as she was, she had one hell of a fiery temper, and the amount of snarky remarks he'd received over the years was record breaking.

He'd grown used to her comments, and even gained enough courage to start firing them right back at her.

It never got physical (thank Merlin), but it was mostly sneers and scoffs while passing in corridors, maybe a glare-off from opposite ends of a classroom on occasion.

In summary, they didn’t get on well. And now they were forced to work with each other.

Joy.

….

Amit quite liked doing his nightly rounds of the school. It was silent, apart from the occasional grunt from a portrait, or a crash from the path of destruction Peeves always left. Sometimes it was a bit eerie; sometimes the silence was too loud. But, Amit enjoyed it nonetheless; peace and quiet.

He’d taken up his position outside the library, scanning the corridors of the Faculty Tower, when who should catch his eye but the Head Girl, who was leaning against a bannister and looking rather spiteful. Her pretty mouth was drawn into a bow, a brow raised.

Amit felt his blood pressure rise just a smidge.

“Oh, good,” he breathed, suddenly very tired.

“Same to you.�� The girl shot back, kicking off the bannister and striding toward him. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m standing watch, as I usually do, you should know that.” Amit answered simply, gritting out the last line.

“Well, you should know that I’ve been stationed here for the week, which means you can kindly leave.” She gestured down the corridor, motioning for him to leave.

Amit decided he wasn’t going to budge. 

“I, in fact, did not know this information, which gives me the impression that you’ve just made it up.” He folded his arms and narrowed his eyes, watching the Hufflepuff put her hands on her hips.

“Then you’re not as intelligent as you say you are, princess.” She sneered, and Amit rolled his eyes; ‘princess’ had become his nickname after she saw him once in their third year shrieking like a girl while getting chased by an angry flock of Cornish Pixies. She’d hollered and laughed so hard that day she quite literally collapsed to the floor in a fit of giggles, calling him a “damsel in distress”, which only embarrassed Amit further. And thus, the name stuck.

“There was a notice sent out with the rotors this morning,” she continued, ignoring his eye roll, “clearly you’re little Ravenclaw brain didn’t pay attention.”

“If there was a rotor, I would know.” He stated firmly, uncrossing his arms and taking a step forward with clenched fists.

You’d think by now that he’d stop letting her get under his skin, but there was just something so… infuriating about her. She was always there, corridors, classrooms, Great Hall, even the Owlery, he just couldn’t get her out of his head!

Wait.

He couldn’t get rid of her. Yes, that’s what he meant. It’s not like he always thought about her…

The stars had to take up some part of his brain too!

Regardless, he glared down at her as she looked smugly up at him, and he knew she was getting a kick out of seeing him frustrated, but he didn’t look away.

(He couldn’t look away.)

“You seem to overestimate your knowledge, Thakkar,” she wound on, also taking a step forward. They were very much in each other’s personal spaces now but they didn’t seem to care, instead choosing to be quite rude to one another.

“ Please, my knowledge far exceeds yours, and you know it.” He shot back.

Their eyes bored into each other’s, and now it was a competition of will; who will look away first?

“Keep telling yourself that, princess.”

“Oh, will you shut up with that ridiculous name!” 

“Make me!”

Now, Amit couldn’t really tell you why he did what he did; maybe it was the close proximity of the pair; perhaps it was pure rage;

Perhaps she really did consume most of his thoughts.

In a fit of… (we’re not sure. Rage? Frustration? Adoration with a touch of madness?)

In a fit of adoration with a touch of madness, Amit grabbed the Hufflepuff Head Girl by the shoulders and quite literally smashed his mouth to hers. She let out a noise similar to “hmph!” before bringing her hands up to grab the sides of his robes and pushing back by standing on her tiptoes.

Their eyes were still open, and they stared at each other as they kissed, and this only made them more furious in their actions; her tongue tickled his bottom lip, making his eyelids flutter, but he granted her entry all the same. 

Her hands gripped onto his side tighter, which made him drag his own hands up her shoulders, past her neck, resting them on her jaw, pulling her closer in the process. In response, she wrapped her arms around his neck, and now they were impossibly close, joined at the mouth, licking at each other's tongues.

He couldn’t help it; he gave in; he closed his eyes first.

Now this- this was an awfully intimate thing to be doing with one's mortal enemy. But when you’re enamoured by their beauty and actually quite flattered by all the attention they give you… well, there’s your excuse. 

Footsteps echoed through the corridor.

The rate in which the pair separated was quick enough to break the sound barrier. They practically jumped apart, gasping and panting slightly, glancing around for the source of the noise.

Amit failed to notice the Hufflepuff staring alarmedly at his mouth, and was startled when she grabbed his wrist and dragged him under the staircase, pushing him against the wall and out of sight. 

“Wait, why am I hiding? I’m Head Boy.” He whispered urgently, and he noticed just how small the crevice was, and just how hard her hand was pressed against his chest; her fingers balled briefly into a fist, clutching the fabric of his robe, before drawing back.

“Well, princess, I hate to inform you that you’re absolutely covered in lipstick, and I do not want anyone getting the wrong idea.” She whispered hurriedly back, before stepping backwards in hopes of looking relatively relaxed and totally not suspicious at all.

Professor Sharp limped up the stairs, catching sight of the Head Girl and bowing his head in greeting.

“Good evening, Professor,” she said cheerfully, watching him as he pulled his way up the next flight of stairs.

“He’s in a good mood,” Amit commented briefly, sarcasm dripping from his tone, before peeling away from the wall and rushing out of the hiding place, and giving another quick scan of the corridors.

Silence. 

“Didn’t think you had it in you, Thakkar,” the Hufflepuff chuckled, pulling a handkerchief out of her robe and handing it to him. He took it and began wiping his mouth.

“I’m covered in your lipstick, please don’t call me by my last name.” He mumbled, glancing at the hankie which was, indeed, covered in pink smudges. 

“What, prefer ‘princess’?” She quipped, taking the white cloth back and holding his chin with her thumb and forefinger, wiping the last bits of makeup away. “I know I do.”

“You would, because you’re insufferable. And honestly, I didn’t know I had it in me either.”

“Then why’d you kiss me?”

“Because you told me to make you shut up. So I did. Didn’t work though…”

“Ha! Of course it didn’t, you’ve known me long enough to know that something as little as that won’t end my behaviour.”

“Then what if I did it again?”

“Ooh, Amit Thakkar, I had no idea you were such a womaniser!”

“I-I’m not! I just…”

“You just?”

“Nevermind.” Amit shook his head, feeling a flush creep up his neck.

“You just?” She repeated, tilting her head with a knowing smile that made his stomach flip. He swallowed, glancing around, eyes coming to rest on the door to the Prefect’s bathroom.

She followed his eyeline, before turning sharply back to him, a smirk plastered across her pretty face. Quick as a flash, she grabbed his hand and started pulling him toward the door.

Amit followed like a lost puppy, but paused at the door.

“Wait, we’re supposed to be on the night rounds out there.”

“You are, you were right, I was making it up.” She quipped, batting her eyelashes.

Amit gasped exasperatedly.

“You-”

He was cut off by her dragging him down and kissing him full on the mouth once more, letting the door swing shut behind them.

[reilliane]

What if Kazuha had to ignore angry suitors as they throw insults at him while demanding where their “Beloved Kaedehime” is and “what he did to them”.

After they learn of her passing, instead of being remorseful or sorry for Kazuha, they begin blaming him for her passing and how “if he hadn’t gotten in trouble with the Shogun, maybe the last honorable Kaedehara would still be alive.”

“You are the reason she’s dead!” “She deserved a brother who wouldn’t cause her so much pain!” “If you had just kept your nose out of our business she would’ve married me and still alive!”

You think Kazuha would be angry at them or feel more guilty than he already is?

(Vigil!MC from beyond the grave experiencing her first violent urges at the shit her “suitors” put her little bro through.)

P.S.: Your Vigil AU gives me so much brain rot that if I told you every single idea and/or prompt, I’d probably crash your tumblr inbox •-•

Oh this is a riVETING question, bagel dear, it honestly made me hum a long second.

People are such animals, they can be loving then turn loathing in a hot minute it's insane.

I can see that happening in this prompt, too, also I believe it will be amplified given the pressure of the Shogun's despotic rule.

When people harbor intense emotions that can't be revealed because of fear, it's all bottled up—and we all know what happens when the fuse blows, no? Poor Kazuha, he would be on the receiving end, an outlet.

And what's disturbing is that Kazuha will be fine with it for the most part. No, I don't see him getting frustrated..

“You are the reason she’s dead!”

“She deserved a brother who wouldn’t cause her so much pain!” “If you had just kept your nose out of our business she would’ve married me and still alive!”

Aren't they all correct to start with? (Save for the last bit, he sure as hell knows MC wouldn't have married anyone-)

Wasn't he responsible for her death? Granted, it was Tomoaki who initiated the challenge, he was the one who took the former's vision.

Kazuha will not bat an eye to those verbal knives, but he lets them cut him. They cut him deep. And he does not bandage them at all.

The words thrown at him—they do not compare to the pain he's sent his sister through.

If this is his punishment, then he'll accept it.

-

Ps. YES VIGIL!MC BOUTTA ROLL IN HER GRAVE AND BE A ZOMBIE LMAO OR- OR-

Somewhere in the Afterlife...MC: Kazuuu my sweet lil' brother nnooOooOooo T-T

MC, squaring up: I'm going back down there.

Tomo: Wait, you can't do that-

MC, already planning to skydive out of the sky: WATCH ME

[katsukikitten]

Wholesome Frat AU, Clearly aged up, college au, main characters are Bakugou, Kirishima, Denki, Sero, Jiro, Mina, and of course you my dear reader. Sexual themes, mentions of drugs and booze through out.

AHEM

Chapter 1

Denki lies upside down off his bed, staring at his phone when another invite to a party comes through. It's from a classmate he shares notes with and one of the few non toxic dudes on campus. A smile forms on his face, his fingers ready to fly across the screen to confirm his Friday night to be golden and one to remember. 

Or maybe wish to remember as alcohol and maybe some weed numb his senses. 

But then the location comes through, a frat house that's notorious for ignorance and low key rape culture. He turns it down claiming to study and sighs. Staring at his shared four walls from the top bunk. 

"What's going on with you? No one wants you to keep their bed warm tonight?" Sero teases passing him up a beer before starting the next round of his game. Preferring to get buzzed and troll in Apex lobbies than find somewhere to be tonight.  

Their phones buzz at the same time, Kirishima coming through on the group chat. 

Big Red 🦈 : Any plans tonight boys?

Boomboi 💣 : Fuck off, busy. 

Tape dispenser 🎞 : Apex

Zaptos ⚡: got invited to a party but location is sus af. You bro? 

Big Red 🦈 : Yikes 😬 Keepin some ladies safe. Don't like the scene here…

Tape dispenser 🎞 : Same

Zaptos ⚡: Same

Boomboi 💣:  FUCK OFF!

Denki and Sero both smirk at their phones before moving on with their Friday night with small talk of Instagram stories and received risque snapchats. As the beer fridge gets dwindles  their thoughts seem to grow. 

"Okay, listen. Here me out!" Denki says as if Sero would ever come off defensive. He finishes his eighth beer before continuing. 

"What if we started our own frat? Like...like a fucking wholesome one." 

"Dude not only does that sound impossible but what would we call ourselves?" Sero chuckles nursing his seventh beer. Denki pauses for a moment, trying to think of something, anything great. 

"Alpha Kappa Wholesome." He smiles, "Yea that's it!"

Sero laughs from his bottom bunk earning an angry faced Denki to put half of his body over the side of his bed. 

"I'm serious man! We could kick out whoever doesn't match our values. This college is supposed to be about making 'lasting connections' with fellow heroes! How are we supposed to do it when we are cooped up in our tiny dorm!" He gestures to their cramped room. A set of bunk beds and desks with their TV and shared dresser on the far wall. Sero looks around, this sure as hell wasn't like the dorms at UA that's for sure. 

"Okay well two people isn't enough for a frat, man." Sero lets the dream die before it can bloom, running a hand through his raven hair. Denki scrunches up his face before he remembers where his crush stays.  It's as if a light bulb lit up atop his upside down head. He jolts himself falling from the top bunk crashing into the empty beer bottle. They clink in protest but thankfully non break, just roll beneath the bottom bunk. 

"But there is a sorority of only four and we have four friends in our group!" 

Denki decides now is a good time to face time them. Kirishima answers first with a shout that he's gonna step outside, the roaring party and flashing lights die behind the shutting door while Bakugou is illuminated by the light of his screen glaring into the camera while a meek looking girl hides. 

"This better be fucking good." Bakugou growls. 

After an hour and a half of screaming Denki finally convinces Bakugou that sharing a house with the three of them as opposed to a rando was a much better idea. Reminding him that he had done it for three years in highschool surely he could last two more. He agrees but refuses to help argue with the dean meanwhile Kirishima is GLOWING with excitement over the idea formulating with his sober mind the best way to handle the notorious harsh Dean. 

It takes petitions, several meetings and almost til the spring break to come down to this, the final meeting. Bakugou, who has attended every meeting and true to his word has said nothing. Denki nervous as a sinner in church, Sero who's sweating bullets and Kirishima all sit in the room with the board, treasury and the Dean in a final meeting of sorts. 

Kirishima gulps and before he can explain the benefits the frat will have to offer the Dean stops him with a simple show of his hand. Taking a report from the secretary of treasury to look over, he just needed the monetary excuse to back up his favorite word. 

"No." He clears his throat, "Unfortunately funds are too low to be able to support another fraternity." The Dean leaves it at that not even bothering to offer they join something preexisting. 

Three of the four men accept defeat, mentally communicating that they did a good job trying. But the fourth man dreamed of his own room, of his own space to do as he pleased. And all without threat of being charged with murder. Although the fourth man would never admit that the reason he spoke up wasn't totally about the room, it was the look of defeat, anguish on his friends faces that had the room heating up a degree or two and smelling heavily of boiling sugar. 

"Oi, toupee." The hot head let's his seat fall back to all fours, fixing the Dean a withering look, "You said something about not enough money huh?" 

The Dean swallows thickly carefully thinking out his next sentence. 

"Why, Yes its…." Bakugou interrupts before the Dean can even finish his thought. 

"Pretty sure I'm the reason this campus is gonna be swarming with fucking no name extras next year." Katsuki's smile widens as his hand pops, "If you deny this request with the money I'm making you then I'll participate in the university sports festival with another college's across my fucking chest." 

The Dean visibly sweats, Bakugou really was a hard student to land. His brash attitude and unapologetic behavior was popular among the younger generation bringing with it an influx of applicants and donations. It hadn't even been 24 hours since his announcement did it crash the admin and donation site. He panics, not even sure if there is any real estate available on or around campus in order for him to legally allow this fraternity to flourish. As if reading his mind the secretary of grounds offers him a file, an old run down home within a decent walking distance of the main campus. The Dean exhales the breath he didn't realize he was holding. 

"Let's not act so rash. It has just come to my attention that we have some extra funding to be able to purchase a place for you all…" He looks over the file, he hopes this is enough to placate the hot head, "But it will need some old fashioned sweat equity, if we can secure it. The town has been kind enough to offer us first dibs to real estate within a certain radius of campus and if they like our offer you hardworking men will have your 'Alpha Kappa Wholesome home." 

"They better like your offer." Is all Bakugou says before standing, "We get the keys in a month, got it?"

He doesn't give the Dean time to rebuttal, he just leaves while the other shocked three follow suit. It isn't until they are in the courtyard does their excitement hit them all at once.

"HOLY SHIT BAKUBRO ALWAYS COMING IN ON THE FUCKING KLUTCH!" Denki shouts, tackling Bakugou into a hug, Sero and then Kirishima wrap their arms around the yelling hot head who threatens to blow them up. 

"I owe you a fucking drink!" Kirishima shouts lifting the group and twirling them  

"OI OI OI SHITTY HAIR PUT ME DOWN!" 

After that promised drink and a month of waiting the four musketeers stand before their new home. The house is trashed, easily a short sale of a foreclosure as the rent went higher but their wages stayed low. The amount of work to make this place semi decent was going to be astronomical at best. 

Bakugou is thoroughly unimpressed, scoffing as Denki runs up the porch. The vision is clear in the electric blonde's head. The massive porch is clean, with a swing and some chairs, string lights hanging from the wooden ceiling while the half wrapped around, second story porch is draped in endless artificial star light cloaking the house in cozy warmth. 

Dneki opens the front door and plume of dust rushes out around him, the other two follow suit. Taking the steps two at a time as they rush into the house. Harsh garnet stares after them before glancing at their luggage. He decides to leave it all stepping inside. 

Their imaginations run rampant as they stand beneath the large archway to the main living room while Bakugou begins to second guess opening his mouth. That or getting more money from the Dean. Before displeasure can leave the hot head his friends turn to face him, their eyes shining and smiles stretched wide, wide enough it begins to hurt Bakugou's own cheeks. They encourage him to step into the home more, telling him what will go where. For a moment his smile is soft, tender as he looks at these three idiots seeing the bright side of everything before he steels back into his normal self.

"Oi! Quick acting all googly eyed. We've got a lot of work to do and a lot of fucking money to raise." 

The four friends spend majority of their spring term picking rooms and doing basic cleaning. Bringing only one of the two full bathrooms up to par, trying their best to keep up with the old big house. Even after all of them picked their rooms there were still three bedrooms and a den with a door left. They brain stormed adding recruits but Bakugou shot the idea down despite Sero being elected the president of the frat. 

Spring boils into summer, bringing with it the promise of cold hard cash. Bake sales and lunch deals thanks to Bakugou's cooking skills brought in a large amount of income, so did the odd jobs Kirishima, Denki, and Sero found themselves doing. Still they find themselves short.

"Shirtless carwash!" Denki announces earning a glare from Bakugou. Kirishima pipes up before the idea is blasted sky high. 

"Think of the money man. The community around here is soccer mom's and freshly graduated college kids and I don't know about yall but when I go for a run or hit up the corner store after a good run I'm being stared at." 

"That's a valid point Bakugou. I've seen how they flock to you for baked goods, they've been staring at your arms and eyes man." Sero adds voting yes to the idea making it three to one. 

Just as Kirishima said, woman and even some men, flock to the area for a car wash. Some even coming back twice in one day! The cash flow is good but still a bit lacking. Denki wipes the sweat from his brow as he wonders how they will get enough to be able to get decent light fixtures and a working fridge in the dorm. Let alone anything aside from a blown up mattress and folding chairs in the living room. He scrolls through his social media on his break and comes across the miracle he has been asking for. 

A lovely summer picture of four women in bikinis, three of them his housemates have lived with before. Mina Ashido, Jiro Kyoka,  Ochako Uraraka, and then there is the new woman, you.

But what makes the picture that much sweeter isn't even the content itself, no it's that gorgeous caption just beneath it. 

"BASIC BITCH CAR WASH! Help us raise money for an apartment so our sorority doesn't get disbanded!" 

An idea formulates in the electric blondes head so quickly he thinks sparks fly from his ears. A dangerous smile forms on Denki Kaminari's lips. 

[thatwritingho]

*slams table with the intensity of my love for Olive + a well-written autistic OC* I have a question and forgive me if it's been answered! Is Olive aware of the implant in her brain? (Unless that spoils anything in MM)

Idk when you sent this in but I'm just now seeing it thanks Tumblr😑

Firstly thank you so much!!🥺🥰 and I'm assuming this is in regards to the part of Olive's bio about her adoptive father including some rather morally questionable software in her brain prosthetics?

So this is a bit of a spoiler, but to be honest the part of the story this is revealed in is so far away that I have no idea when I'll post it lmao, so I'll go ahead and talk about it a bit! Also, this will be very long but I'm on mobile and can't include a read more.

⚠️Content warnings for mentions of childhood abuse and mentions of s*icide⚠️

So here's a run down of the situation; Olive starts getting very rebellious in her early teen years, clashing with her father over his controlling nature and the rigorous training regimen he forces on her, which includes injections of biological enhancement concoctions of his own creation that Olive is manipulated into agreeing to.

These injections alter her muscular structure and give her a good deal of near inhuman strength as well as an abnormally fast healing rate, but they also cause her to have diminished emotional control. This, coupled with her already lowered emotional stability from trauma, manifests in some rather explosive and destructive outbursts on her part when the two would argue. The more severe of these outbursts ended with Olive attacking her father and causing damage like leveling walls and punching a crater into the floor.

At this point, Alastair started to get concerned that Olive would become uncontrollable, worrying that he had created a monster so to speak, and he began looking into ways to reverse the effects, suspending her training and beginning to largely ignore her on a daily basis.

Olive didn't take the halt in her training, nor the sudden lack of attention well, and began to act out, taking on a more alternative style of her own, quickly getting into skateboarding and started drinking and smoking. She began hanging out with what Alastair considered a "bad crowd" and got her first boyfriend, Andreas, who was a couple years older than her. All of which Alastair was not happy about, but he was hesitant to confront her about her behavior for fear of another violent outburst.

Then came the accident. Olive and Andreas had been out late drinking on a rainy night, and he was driving her home on his motorcycle when they crashed. Neither had been wearing a helmet. Olive landed on her head and skidded, grinding away her skull, and lost a small amount of brain matter, Andreas also suffering a severe head injury on impact with the car. Both were rushed to a hospital, and Alastair decided to perform an experimental procedure to reform the damaged parts of Olive's brain to save her life.

He chose not to do the same for Andreas, who didn't survive his injuries.

During the long process of installation and fine tuning the implants, Alastair designed into it a failsafe where he would be able to, in a sense, "shut off" Olive if need be, letting only the more digital side of her brain control her body for a time, just in case his fears were met and she became physically uncontrollable.

But after waking and learning of her boyfriend's death, which she blamed on Alastair's inaction, as well as dealing with a bit of memory loss and adjusting to her implants, Olive wasn't nearly as volatile as she had previously been. She sunk into a deep depression, becoming a shell of her former self, and she had her second suicide attempt at this point. But Alastair had also slipped into her implants a physical distress alarm of sorts, and it alerted him to her body shutting down, so he was able to find and save her.

Olive spent a few months in a mental health facility after this, where she received significantly better care than she had during her stay in a different facility as a child. She learned some useful coping skills for her anger issues and anxiety, and thankfully was able to control her emotions better, not having any more of the violent outbursts that had plagued her past few years.

She was unsurprised, but still unhappy that her father had this ability to monitor her through her own mind, and felt severely violated, suspecting that he had added even more spyware into her mind. Once she returned home, she and her youngest sister, Dewi, who is a technological prodigy, took it upon themselves to go through the code in Olive's mind and break it apart, finding all the hidden controls Alastair had installed and removing every last bit, or so they thought, though they didn't find the failsafe.

Unsure of what to really do with her at this point, and, to be quite frank, disappointed in his greatest project failing, as well as embarrassed that one of his children was having such obvious issues for the rest of high society to see and judge on, Alastair sent Olive to an all girl's boarding institution for her final year of school. Eventually he discovered that his daughter's had removed his access to Olive's mind, as he was unable to access it and monitor her while she was away. However, he was impressed enough with their abilities that he chose to let it go, satisfied that he still has the ultimate failsafe installed if he ever needs it.

So to answer your question: kind of. She knows that there were aspects of her brain her father could monitor at one point, but believes that her and Dewi removed it all years ago, with Alastair being non the wiser.

This may or may not come to play a part much, much later on in the story😉

[qweeby]

Nine Lives To Short Part 1:First Life of Many

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡💔

Pairing Hitoshi Shinsou x Reader!

Genre: Angst

Tag: @foxypuppy

Plot: You only have 9 days to tell him how you feel....but maybe 9 days just isn't enough

The bus finally pulls up breaking the tension between you and Hitoshi you let out a sigh of relief as the doors to the bus opens.

You both step onto the bus and try to find a seat, Hitoshi nudges your arm gentle "Hey you wanna sit in the back?"

You don't respond to him....I mean how could you with that stupid question you asked him still looming over you like a vengefulspirit. "Maybe I should've stayed quiet" "Did I say to much?" "H-how much did I say?!" .

Your mind begins to think of the worst possible scenarios but then you snap out of it as you feel something warm cover your hand.

It's Hitoshi's holding your hand as he takes you to the open two seater in the back.

Y/n suddenly feels her face heat up as her cheeks blush red this feeling is something that can happen only once in a life time so....you enjoy this short tiny bit of contact like it was your last.

Shinsou hold out his hand giving you access to the seat next to the window "Here you go I know you like sitting next to the window so-" he stares at you and notices your blush and can't help but to do the same.

Seeing you look up at him with genuine happiness makes his chest feel warm and his throat tighten.

"Thanks Hitoshi...". Y/n sits down and scoots over to the window while Shinsou sits down next to you.

Shinsou takes out his headphones once again and puts them on resuming his paused music however before he puts his phone away he receives a text from Izuku Midoriya.

" Hm? What does Midoriya want?"

The Promblem Child🥦

Izuku: Hey Toshiiii~😜

Shinsou: ......kaminari why the fuck do you have Izuku's phone......

Izuku: MY PHONE DIED🥀😪 so I swiped Midoriya's phone while him and Bakugo are arguing in the living cuz bakugo sucks a uno and his sweaty hands are fucking up the cards but they not important rn

Shinsou: ok so what do you want with me

Izuku: Me and and guys are gonna go bowling tomorrow and we wanted to see if you wanted to come 🥺

Shinsou: I don't know I'm kinda busy after school🤷‍♂️sooooo....

Izuku: COME ON YOU GOTTA GO YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN SHUTDOWN BAKUGO'S YELLING

Shinsou: Sounds like I'm baby sitting 😑

Izuku: YOU WON'T BE! YOU CAN BRING Y/N IF YOU WANT SO YOU WON'T BE COMPLETELY ALONE PLEASE ANAJHSHSHAJJS

Shinsou: Ok! Ok I'll go but I'll have to ask y/n about what she thinks

Izuku: I KNEW YOU WOULD COME AROUND TOSHI!

Shinsou: Dumbass go put your phone in your mouth you doofus🥱😴

Izuku: I-

Shinsou turns off his and focuses his attention towards you as your head is resting on his shoulder. Shinsou tries his hardest not to ruin the moment so he obviously he stupidly asks " Y-you wanna...hold hands again? I'm getting cold over here".

You normally brush off Hitoshi's stupid flirting because he sucks at it but hearing that he wants your warmth....he need your warmth...Hitoshi needs you.

You and Hitoshi locks hands together both completely quiet but internally freaking out.

Shinsou's brain starts going into overload as he starts think about every romantic movie and think about how they would fuck up a situation like this "Oh no she's really close shit! SHIT DOES MY BREATH STINK?! I DON'T KNOW! BUT I DON'T WANT HER TO FIND OUT,DAMMIT HOLD YOUR BREATH!" Shinsou does just that but you see him oddly do this.

Then you start thinking,"He's holding his breath? Why...did he sniff me...DO I STINK OH GOD I HOPE I DON'T IM SORRY HITOSHI!!!".

The bus hits a speed bump to causing all the seats to jump and it cause the two dummy's to bump heads.

"OW! DAMMIT! Hey are you ok?" You both say in unison then there is a short pause before the both of you burst out laughing.

"We're both so stupid haha!".

"Nah were not stupid great minds think alike " Hitoshi snickers.

You lean in closer to Shinsou as you poke the bump he got on his forehead from crashing into you " OW! HEY!" "That's what you get".

Sometime passes and the bus finally reaches the home bus stop in front of your house. Hitoshi and you get off watching it leave. "Hey Y/n are you busy tomorrow?"

"Umm no actually I'm free why you wanna hang out?"

Hitoshi beams as he scratches the back of his head just then a creepy smile form's on his face " Oh that great! Denki invited me to go out bowling and I wanted to bring what bakugo would call an extra"

You playful punch Hitoshi in the arm " Hey! Don't call me an extra! Ohhhh I swear I'll go feral on Katskui!"

"Oh I know you will... you always do but before you go in I wanna ask are you really ok...?"

Once again you ignore his question he notices and sighs "Y/n i won't use my quirk to make you talk....i promise ...".

Y/n stops smiling as she turns her back on Shinsou walking to the door.

"H-hey did you hear me y/n come on talk to me what wrong?", " I'm really glad I got to meet you Hitoshi Shinso.....You're such an amazing guy and... I just-."

And with that the tears began to fall down your face you look back at Hitoshi to see he's completely shaken up bye your sudden rush of sadness.

" Everything you've done for me there no way words can describe how happy I've been being friends with you and how much you left a impact on me"

Shinsou stops her " what up with all this crazy talk y/n? why are you acting like one you walk through that door I won't see you again?"

You think it would be better then wasting away until you day in 9 days then maybe your heart wouldn't be hurting so much like it is now, hell this pain feels like it's hurts more than the pain the quirk will bring.

Hitoshi brings you into his arm embracing your body in hug. "I promise you that we will be together always and besides-...."

"We got all the time in the world"

Hearing that one line....it finally sinks in that y/n is gonna die...so she does the only thing she can.

You clench Hitoshi uniform as you bury your head in his shoulder and began to breakdown in Shinsou arms. "Y/n?! Hey hey don't cry it'll be ok"

You scream and beg Hitoshi not to leave " You can't leave please don't! I don't wanna lose you Shisou!". "Woah woah lose me? Y-you're not gonna lose me...let's go to my house and clean you up I don't want you parents to see you like this".

Hitoshi takes you to his house right across the street. He quickly opens the door and sits you on the couch "I'll be right back just stay here ok", you nod and Shinsou leaves.

"I don't wanna bring Hitoshi into this and get him all worked up because of me he does so much for me as it is...you know what I mean right?" Shinsou's just meows back at you.

"Of course you get it Kabuki...Hitoshi is always taking care of both of us" you say while petting Kabuki. "I guess liking Shinsou isn't the only thing we have in common huh...".

A few minutes go by and Hitoshi is sitting on the couch wiping your face "Hitoshi come on I know how to whip my own face!". " If you stop moving MAYBE me can get this done quicker!".

Shinsou sighs and lays back on the couch "There now you're all clean up, you're welcome". You lay ontop of Shinsou patting his chest "Looks like the day is saved thanks to pro hero Mind Freak~". He pushes your face smushing it with is hand.

" Ew I told you I'm not calling myself myself mind freak!"

" IT'S COOL!"

" IT'S SCARY! IM TO TRYING HELP PEOPLE NOT TO SCARE THEM OFF" "We'll I'm here and I'm not scared of out you!".

Hitoshi softly puts his hand on your cheek "what I said out there wasn't a lie, Y/N I'm here if you need me...every step of the way...."

You hold Hitoshi hand as your hearing starts to diminish and your body begins to fell light that you begin to wobble and sway back and forth.

"Yeah.....we got all the time in the world...."

Y/n suddenly fall sideways onto the floor lying there motions while Hitoshi eyes widen as he screams " Y/N!!!!"

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡💔 As the the first day has come to an end so has 1 of the many lives. And so far Y/n has lost her first life.....🥀

[ollie-ask-and-roleplay]

Everything you need to know:

Looks defined: Silver hair. Blue eyes. About 5'6" tall, weighs around 130 pounds. Natural hair length is just past the ears, they have hair extensions that can make hair shoulder blade length. Has strap on breasts.

Their name:

Oliver Emanuele (Usually goes by Ollie)

Age: 22

A little about them:

Ollie is bigender (identifies as both a boy and girl), they are biologically male. They have a stutter due to severe, constant anxiety. Definitely the mom friend in a group. 100% human unless somehow changed in the future. Most of the time they are kind and shy, although this is the first muse that has seen the NSFW side of roleplay. They are confident and dominant when in "the mood" ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). Haha (I like to think that they are secretly very kinky; but that's yet to be explored)

Has a history of self-harm, suicidal thoughts/tendencies, depression, and crippling anxiety. They are currently working on controlling themself better and improve mental health.

Likes: Making food for other people, helping others, quiet places, windchimes, baking, hoodies, zen gardens, low intensity yoga, etc.

Dislikes: Small spaces, themself (🙁), nuns, large groups of people, spicy foods, etc.

(Likes and Dislikes are to be updated)

Anyways! Ollie often carries fresh cookies with them, don't question it.

Usual Attire: When feeling more male they usually wear a large hoodie with whatever pants they have around. When female it's always different. (Just assume there is a skirt or dress)

Pronouns: Ollie uses They/Them to avoid confusion.

Background Knowledge: (warning: story about parents first) Ollie was born into a very "normal" family. A mother and a father that were happily married and went to a Christian church every Sunday. It was the happiest day in their lives when their first and only child was born with the birth name, ''Oliver". The mother's name was Elaine, she had lovely deep brown hair and bright, piercing blue eyes. The father was Samuel, with blonde hair like sand and blue eyes like the day's clear sky. They were highschool sweethearts. Unfortunately, it was Samuel's brother who had silver hair, received from their father above them. Of course, it could have been a gene that simply skipped Samuel, but he was certain.

Elaine was over-joyed and had hope that they could continue their lives as a happy family. After all, what her husband didn't know couldn't hurt him, right? Oliver was a happy healthy baby, that they both adored almost to the point of worship. Samuel kept quiet for the first month, acting as if the thought hadn't occurred to him. One night, after they had gotten Oliver to sleep, he confronted her.

"Elaine..." He said, the look on his face so morose it could bring someone to tears. "That isn't my son, is it?"

And like that, Elaine's fragile hopes cracked to reveal the ugly truth. She had to face what she'd done. She touched Samuel's face as both their tears started to fall, his of bitter pain and her of regret. She gazed into his eyes knowing this would be the last time they would look at her without hatred.

"... No, not biologically. Ol-Oliver was conceived b-by... your brother and myself." She could no longer look at him and her voice was no more, for sobs had started shaking her body to the core. Her hand fell from his face as she moved to cradle her own body.

Samuel had known. He let his tears fall and left his wife to cry alone. He went into the nursery where baby Oliver was sleeping peacefully, unaware of anything that had happened.

Samuel kissed Oliver's forehead and whispered, "I'm sorry, my son. They wronged us both. I'll be sure they pay for it..." Samuel stood there for a few more moments, tears dropping into Oliver's crib.

The events that followed that night were not what anyone had planned for.

Samuel left his home with his wedding ring on the counter. He drove to his brother's home and didn't bother knocking. He broke a window with a brick laying outside and climbed in, knowing exactly where to go. Samuel stood beside his brother's bed with a brick in hand. He stood there, his rage boiling just beneath the surface of his stoic face. The rage of a man whose family had been stolen from him. Then, as the unsuspecting man was started to wake, Samuel hit his brother once over the head with the brick. Twice. Three times. Samuel did not kill his brother that night, but he did cause brain bleeding which which lead to death several days later.

Samuel got back into his car and started driving back to his home to gather his belongings. He planned to get a small apartment in town and fight for custody of Oliver. However a semi-truck had other plans. Samuel died in a "crash", his small car practically obliterated.

The only reason Elaine had to live was Oliver now. Unfortunately Elaine had always been selfish and her child wasn't enough for her. After attending her Husband and her child's father's duel funeral, she grabbed Oliver in his little mourning tux and left them on the porch of a nearby orphanage. Little Ollie had only the clothes on their back, a letter detailing who they were, a roughed up stuffed bunny, and a chain-necklace around his neck with Samuel and Elaine's wedding rings. Elaine knocked on the door and ran as fast as she could. She committed suicide later that day.

(Okay, parent story end)

Ollie grew up in that orphanage. It was a religious orphanage run by nuns. Ollie wasn't bullied at first, but was often ignored. They were small and quiet and did everything they were told, so the nuns decided they didn't need any extra attention besides "Have you eaten?" and "It's bedtime now".

They played with their bunny until the arm ripped off, at age 5, which triggered his first fit since he was an infant. The nuns quickly sewed their bunny together again, not used to the quiet one being so upset.

At age 8, a boy named Johnny on the playground at school decided to start picking on Ollie because they were an easy target. Ollie started coming back from school with scrapes on their knees from running away and falling. Plus bruises from Johnny and his group when they caught up.

At age 10, Ollie got caught playing with one of the older girls' makeup and dresses for the first time. The nuns were called quickly. Oliver got punished with 10 spanks for getting into another's property and 10 more for "inappropriate behavior". Ollie didn't understand why wanting to be pretty was wrong.

At age 12, puberty had started and something was really bothering Oliver. Some days they didn't feel right in their own skin and other days they were perfectly fine. Oliver was in middle school now, which meant everyone around them were becoming couples for a week or less at a time, and being very curious with themselves. One day, Oliver was listening in on some 8th graders and words of "sexuality" and "gender identity" were getting thrown around. They got curious. "Am I different?"

At age 13, they started seriously researching gender identities on the public library's computer. They were in awe that there were words to describe how they were feeling. They decided they identified with two genders, male and female. Ollie decided to start going by "Ollie" instead of "Oliver".

At age 14, Ollie got up the courage to ask a nun for a dress, and "maybe a lip gloss". The nun was outraged and gave him 10 spanks in front of all the orphan children at dinner time. The nun "made an example" of them and let all the kids know that the orphanage would never spend money on something a child does not need. Especially when the child wanted something that would "make them a disgusting fag". Ollie started getting picked on not just from the kids at the school, but from the kids in the orphanage too. So many slurs and hateful words were thrown towards Ollie that they started to internalize it.

At age 16, they were severely depressed and constantly on edge. The bullying didn't stop and had started getting more physical; ending up in the ER a couple times for stitches or broken bones. They had tried to kill them self multiple times at this point and always wore a baggy hoodie. The life was quickly draining from their eyes. A younger nun, who had only been with the orphanage for a few months decided it was enough. One evening the nun directly asked them, "Do you want to live?"

They replied, "Not here."

The young nun gave Ollie 2,000 dollars of her savings and told them to get as far as possible. They gratefully took the offer and was gone by dinner time the next day.

At age 18, Ollie had made a great life for themself. They lived with two other people to help pay rent of an apartment. They got a girlfriend. They work at a nice Subway job and graduated high school as the Salutatorian of their class. They were fairly accepted as a bigender person both at home, and in school.

At age 20, they broke up with their longest relationship of 3 years. Ollie sunk back into a deep depression and what little progress they made was thrown out the window. Ollie barely managed to keep their job, calling in "sick" too many times. Ollie worried their roommates by spending most of their time in their room alone.

At age 22, things have settled down. Ollie is over the breakup but the depression still lingered. They are trying to heal. They now go to college to get a culinary degree and hope to get their own bakery or restaurant one day.

Thanks for reading Ollie's Story!

[eds-zebra-warrior]

2021 Ehlers Danlos Society Awareness Month (Day 10 Prompt: Mental Health)

I deal with Depression, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Complex PTSD. They all effect me in some way and depression is something I never dealt with much when I was younger. It seemed to really hit hard around the age of 25 when my health took its most drastic decline. Complex PTSD and Depression run hand and hand and result very much from being sick and not being able to get appropriate help for this. Complex PTSD goes much deeper and this condition is the one what I will explain more in depth.

At age 5 was when my mom first brought up my chronic pain to my pediatrician. He brushed it off saying “she probably just heard it from a grandparent or one of you who said their back hurt and they got attention for it so is copying them for the same attention. At age 8 I was seen for a UTI and was told, she's too young for UTIs but it may just be puberty coming on. Later that year I was taken to children's for passing out and like the UTI they told my parents not to worry about it. I’m probably just going into puberty and about to start my period which didn't happen until I was almost 15. When I was 10 I saw a doctor for my spinal curvature that I have had all my life but no one did anything about until this time. He took an x-ray and talked to my mom. She asked about a back brace to correct it and he said "absolutely not. braces only cause more problems and will make her muscles too weak. Now I'm being asked "why didn't they ever give you a scoliosis brace? If you wear a brace as a kid your spine will adjust to it and it will straighten as you grow, correcting itself. As an adult all they can do is fuse your spine. Your doctor ruined you. If he braced you as a kid you wouldn't have the pain and degeneration of the disks you have now." to make things worse they put me in chiropractic's which messed my back up even worse and the forceful cracking wore down my disks further. It took until I was 16 for anyone to realize the harm being caused and the chiropractors agreed that I should not receive further treatment but the damage was already done.

My mom complained about my GI issues since I had surgery at 4 days old. Being told I just have IBS and need to eat more Fiber where I only got worse to the point I had to be put into colonics for regular treatment also starting at around 10 years old. Having essentially a hose shoved up your butt and then having everything vacuumed out isn't fun, especially for a 10 year old. At age 12 the woman who did my colonics finally brought attention to my doctor by telling her how difficult it was to remove my chronic intestinal blockages where I was then told that I would have 80/90 percent of my colon removed. My insurance made me get a second opinion and due to my age this doctor said absolutely not and it never happened.

When I was 13 I had just gone to a camp for kids ages 12-14 where we got to camp overnight at Magic Mountain where we pulled an all-nighter there. It's one of those family fun centers for kids with arcade games, indoor laser tag, go karts, and of course the tunnels you can crawl around and play in. Everyone thought it was really special as it's usually only open to kids under 48 inches tall but also having juvenile dwarfism and just starting HGH, me and one other kid were the only ones still short enough to play in the tunnels on normal business days but we were all crawling through those hard plastic tunnels all night, the next morning my mom picked me up and I had probably over 50 bruises on my arms, legs, near the bony structures of my spine etc. so she took me to the doctor suspecting anemia and since it wasn't anemia my doctor jumped to the conclusion of child abuse. At age 14 I was finally diagnosed with Celiac Disease. The GI issues continued while others improved. I did a little better until I was 15 when I started having to go to the hospital at least once a month for symptoms such as heart palpitations, chest pain, trouble breathing etc. and this is when the real medical abuse and neglect started.

This same year, I was banned from Mount Carmel East Hospital for being a frequent flyer and diagnosed with Hypochondriasis and as an attention seeker. They asked my mom not to bring me back but by law they have to treat someone if they show up to the hospital so one day my mom took me to the ER again at age 16 for chest pain and palpitations. I was lying in the hospital bed with my mom sitting in the extra chair when I flatlined. No one came into the room so my mom ran down the hall and grabbed my nurse pleading for help. My nurse told her they heard the alarms and they are just ignoring me and suggested that my mom do the same thing. I probably just pulled one of my leads off because I’m known for being an attention seeker and they feed on attention from things like this.” My mom ran into my room and started CPR herself which she took when I was 6 before becoming a girl scout leader. Back then the ER did not have walls between rooms, instead just having a curtain on three sides. The nurse went into the room beside mine while my mom did CPR. When my mom revived me I took a big gasp for air and the nurse heard this, ran into my room, checked my leads and realized they were all connected and my heart had in fact stopped. She called the doctor who listened to me and left the room. He came back an hour later and said he was releasing me saying “You seem fine now. You’ve been here an hour and nothing else has happened so this is probably just one of those flukes. You know a one time thing that will never happen again so as far as I’m concerned there's no need to keep you” and he sent me home.

Of course it wasn't just a one time thing; this happened a second time in which the same thing happened then a third time in which I had a seizure at school and they sent me to the hospital. The hospital hooked me up to the monitors and I again later flat lined. They came in with the crash cart and pulled my gown down and started charging the paddles, preparing to shock me when I went into a grand mal seizure and my heart started. It had stopped for 57 seconds and the hospital admitted me for the seizures. When I started having seizures they ran four, yes four drug tests, one urine and three blood tests believing I was on drugs and every tune tine the came back they believed they were somehow wrong and would re-test me then brought in a case manager to interrogate me and demand I tell her what I took that may not be showing up on the test. Eventually they did an EEG and diagnosed me with epilepsy but did nothing about my heart the whole time I was there eventually sending me home and referring me to a neurologist. None of the meds they put me on helped and she moved away with no answers so my doctor referred me to another neurologist who again was stumped but noticed I had an arrhythmia so referred me to a cardiologist.

The cardiologist ordered a tilt table test and I had a 4:30 pm appointment. I went in for the test and was lied back. I had told him about the history of coding and seizures but since it went in my medical records I didn't know if he believed me. He put me on the table and eventually tilted it up telling me that I may pass out but I’m in the right place and to let them know if I felt funny. After being stood up, the nurse asked how I felt. I said fine. A minute later she checked in again and I said I felt fine. About 5 seconds after I said fine all I could get out of my mouth was “Uh-ohh” and next thing I knew the table was flat and I was waking up to about 12 people in the room. The doctor told me not only did I pass out but my heart stopped but he had good news. He told me he was able to save me some paddle burns from being shocked thanks to what I told him about the seizure seemingly restoring my heart rate. He decided to inject me with adrenalin to see if he could simulate the same response the seizure caused and it worked. He then told me I had two choices, get an emergency pacemaker put in there or they can life flight me to Cleveland Clinic to see if they have any other options for me. I chose the pacemaker and they took me to x-ray so he could see the structure of my heart before he did it. The x-ray came back abnormal because I had a smaller than normal heart that was tubular shaped instead of round. He placed the pacemaker and later pulled my past records to find in every imaging study I had done since the age of 4 days old I had this same congenital heart defect but no one ever diagnosed it. It took 23 years for a diagnosis and had probably been having shorter cardiac arrests all my life.

When I was 19 I lost the ability to walk the first time and went to Grant where they did a spinal tap and a brain CT for M.S. I was told I have Psychosomatic Personality disorder because both were negative for M.S. I was kept 8 days where they worked on my waking and the nurse and both PT's told the doctor they didn't think this was Psychosomatic in nature and more testing should be done. He said that would be up to my doctor and this time wasn't nearly as bad as the third time. I could stand with a walker and after about 6 days the PT's no longer had to hold part of my weight with the gait belt. I used the walker. After two days of this I was able to make it the 10 feet or so to the bathroom on the walker with just the PT's holding my gait belt just in case for precaution and not holding my weight so they sent me home with outpatient PT where I learned to walk without assistance again in about two months and walk normally again in about 4 or 5 months.

At PT they put me into in aquatic therapy and my stomach swelled up like I was 9 months pregnant within about 12 hours time. I also started going to the bathroom like a normal person for once in my life, between twice a day and once every other day. My mom took me to children's urgent care. I was still 19 and my mom just always wanted to go with me so I let her. They did a pregnancy test and I wasn't pregnant so they sent me to grant. I went to Grant where the ER doctor asked if I was sexually active and at 19 I was still a virgin. I told them no and said there was no chance of pregnancy. He pulled my mom out I'd the room and told her that kids my age tend to lie about pregnancy and how urgent care did a urine pregnancy test and he wanted to do a blood pregnancy test which is more accurate. My mom told him I was 19 and first of all you can't go from a totally flat stomach to looking 9 months pregnant in 12 hours and secondly that he legally needs to be talking to me and not her where he went in and loudly accused me of having unprotected sex, being irresponsible and need to go to an OBGYN, not a hospital when I screw up and get pregnant. I kept telling him I wasn't pregnant and he said "yeah… right… well see about that, I think I know what pregnancy looks like" did the blood test and came back an hour later and said "GREAT NEWS! You're not pregnant! You can get dressed and go home now" Then release me with paperwork on pregnancy prevention methods.

A few weeks later I was still swollen up so bad I looked like I was 9 months pregnant and now having bloody bowel movements and my mom took me to Mount Carmel where I later found out I got from the pool at riverside during aquatic therapy because a ton of patients ended up getting C-Diff. Their pool was shut down and they got in trouble for insufficient chemical levels and had to also start making patients sign a consent form that they didn't have diarrhea or abdominal pain the day of therapy since someone obviously did have C-Diff and used the pool as a public toilet. I wasn't pregnant and had C-Diff the whole time, going to all of my college classes when I had something contagious the whole time.

At 27 when I went fully paralyzed the hospital tried to diagnose me with conversion disorder same goes for the two years prior when I developed a limp that got worse and worse until I lost all ability to walk (all three mean the same thing, it's all in your head) At the ER they set me up with a team of four neurologists and four Psychiatrists where one Neurologist came in on the sixth day and said "Okay the gig is up. Quit wasting our time and resources, I know you can walk '' Picked me up out of the bed and just let go dropping me onto the hard tile floor. He was shocked that I went crashing into the tile floor and left me there for a good two minutes while he paced saying "oh my god, I've never seen anything like this. this isn't conversion disorder, it can't be right? I've never seen anything like it. her automatic reflex to catch herself didn't kick in. In conversion disorder she still would have tried to break her fall. I've just never seen anything like this. I've never seen anything like this." before putting me back in bed and leaving the room

Later that day he returned with neurologist two, telling him to pick me up and drop me, not telling him what would happen. This in turn made neurologist 2 believe I would catch myself and this is why neurologist one had asked him to pick me up and drop me. When I didn't do this, hitting the floor again like a ton of bricks, he was equally shocked and so was the first neurologist since it happened twice in a row, he called in neurologist three and had him drop me, with the same thing happening and then later neurologist four. Neurologist four refused to pick me up and drop me saying the other two neurologists had already told him what happened. Neurologist one was very persistent, Insisting that he must see this with his own eyes. Neurologist one, then picked me up and dropped me for the fourth time leaving neurologist one both looking shocked and mad.

That evening, my dinner was brought to me and I started to take the lid off when here comes Neurologist one into my room with one of the psychiatrists. Again, he picked me up and dropped me in front of him. The Psychiatrist said "This isn't psychological." They left the room and right before shift change all four Neurologists and all four Psychiatrists came into the room. The Physiatrists took a seat on the couch and the neurologists stood when neurologist one looked at the other three psychiatrists and said "You haven't seen this yet. I have to show you. One said "No... we heard, leave her in her bed, another said "Yeah we heard all about it, we don't need to see it." I don't know if it is even important or not but I forgot to mention that Neurologist 1 was Indian and had a thick accent. Anyhow, Neurologist one, again insisted that they see what happened and for the sixth time, picked me up out of bed, stood me up and just let go leaving me to hit the tile floor like a ton of bricks. Neurologist 4 tried jump forward and catch me and this time since I was dropped closer to the bed I also tried to grab the bottom bed rail on the way down but just smacked my arm into it. Neurologist 6 didn't get to me on time either so I hit the floor again and when I hit, I went fully bladder inconsonant peeing all over myself. They put me in the bed and I couldn't control my bladder so after changing the Chux pad 4 times they put me in diapers.

The doctors left me there for another day , now covered in bruises doing nothing as far as tests but sent a case manager in to say I could no longer live alone and when my parents mentioned me moving in with them with home health care. The case manager said she believes I need more intensive care than what can be provided at home and I needed to go into a long term care facility for young adults. I got so depressed at this point I was suicidal because I had been pulled out of work only about 6 months prior from my PCP, lost the ability to walk, a lot of other symptoms were new so I as primarily bedridden and had no custom wheelchair and stuck using a really uncomfortable, broken and wobbly folding wheelchair that used to be my grandmas and was too small for me as she was only 4’7” in her 90s and I’m 5’1” Possibly 5’2” or 5’3” if it weren't for my spinal curvature and had no leg rests so we had to tie an exercise band around the bottom of the chair for me to put my feet on to keep my feet off the ground and the bottom of my legs under my knees were higher than the seat so I had to put a pillow under my legs or just deal with my legs leaned to one side. Lastly in the last 12 hours I went from using a toilet to peeing all over myself and in diapers. Ultimately they were unable to find a long term care facility of any kind that could take me either because of my dietary restrictions or my age and I was sent home with my parents on home health care and with no reason I was paralyzed.

It took two years to finally get an MRI done due to the perseverance of my cardiologist of all people but of course when I went to Cleveland Clinic to get them done, the first thing the tech says to me is "we've never done one of these before but I Google it this morning. We don't have the right parts for this kind of MRI but I think we can Jimmy rig it. That's when I knew they were going to be a big problem. I was right. We got a good enough MRI to know I was paralyzed but the flexion/extension portion was totally unusable so to this day I'm still fighting the government and insurance to cover an upright MRI out of state since they can't do the flexion/extension in Ohio.

My mom requested my tonsils be removed when I was 6 and was persistent in asking at almost every appointment she attended if mine because I got strep 2-5 times a year and was told over and over again my tonsils were huge but I would grow into them. At 21 I was sent to an ENT at Ohio ENT for sinus infections where my ENT got on my mom for not being persistent when I was young about getting my tonsils removed and how its her fault and I need them removed and how much more pain I'm going to be in because she didn't push hard enough to get them removed when I was a kid then when he removed them he came out while I was still in on the table to show her my tonsils and showed her how infected they were and picking green stones out of them to show her and blaming it all on her. He also did a termination reduction and septoplasty. I was sent home to call them an hour and a half later because my nose was bleeding so bad. They told me it's normal. I called back an hour after that to tell them I used 3/4ths of the gauze and was told I need to calm down, the surgery went fine and bleeding is normal. I then called back a third time two hours later and told them I went through the whole stack of 2000 gauze pads, saturated two washcloths and was now using a towel that had a large spot now covered in blood and felt like I was going to pass out when the nurse pauses and said "he sent you home with a whole pack of gauze? Usually we only give out about 20, so your telling me you went through a whole 2000 pack of gauze?" I said they were in a paper package that was unopened and said 2000, 4"x4" medical grade gauze" and she told me to get back to the hospital immediately.

When I got there they found he didn't cauterize the incision in my nose where they did the septoplasty and pulled out a section of bone so had to numb me up and cauterize it to stop the bleeding than give me iron pills and an iv infusion to replace my blood volume. They sent me home and the tonsillectomy was a simple recovery but the termination reduction and septoplasty which I was told would be an easy recovery was by far the most painful and worst surgery I've ever had. After the bleeding stopped I noticed my nose ran all the time, especially when I tilted my head forward. I was in the nursing program at the time and mentioned a CSF leak to the surgeon at the follow up. He said everything went perfect… even though it wasn't because I had to go back for the bleeding and sent me home. A month later he saw me again and I told him again I really thought I had a CSF leak from the turbinate reduction and he said "I know what I'm doing. I don't make mistakes and you don't have a CSF leak" I have gone through a large box of tissues around once a week since then told by doctors in the spring and summer, it's just allergies and in the winter, "everyone's nose runs in the winter" to find out this year when I finally found a doctor versed in EDS that I in fact have a CSF leak but now he can't find a doctor who knows how to repair it in EDS patients.

Drug tests, pregnancy tests and STD testing are the first things the hospital always does. Even now at almost 33 years old, the one good symptom of EDS is that you look much younger than you really are and even that can be a double edged sword. You look like you're younger than I am. In my 30s people still guess me to be between the ages of 14 and 19. When you go to the hospital, even with your age being on the paperwork, people discriminate and look at you, treating you as if you're the age you look rather than your true age, jumping to the conclusion of drugs.

When I was 29 I went to Mount Carmel for my chronic pain and was left in a special waiting room they have for drug addicts for 9 hours. I begged them to drug test me, even offering to let them come into the bathroom to watch. I was in so much pain, this was right after I was paralyzed and not yet in pain management so not on anything. They refused to do a drug test and when I went into shock my mom begged them to take me back and help me. they kept telling her I was an addict and my mom kept telling them "how would you even know. She's been asking you to drug test her since she got here and you put her in this room. It's quite obvious what this room is for and you've refused to do any kind of testing, urine, blood, anything so how can you call her an addict when you won't even do a blood test." The staff kept yelling at me for lying on a blanket on the waiting room floor and telling me to get into a chair which made the pain worse. It got so bad my mom later told me that the other patients were yelling and cussing out the staff telling them they need to take me back, one even openly admitted she was an addict and has been around addicts most of her adult life and that I'm not an addict because she would know. My mom said even a teenager was yelling at a nurse to take me back and one threatened to call the cops for patient abuse. About an hour after there was a borderline riot in the waiting room over me they finally took me back.

When I was 30, I was admitted into OSU Medical center presenting with extreme abdominal pain, the inability to hold down any kind of food and struggling to hold down water and bowel movements that were almost straight blood. Red blood with black clots. The first few days the doctors took me seriously. No one assessed my bowel movements except my nurse and she and I couldn't get anyone to but the doctor told me he was going to put on a feeding tube the following morning because my blood work kept getting worse and worse. I weighed 110 lbs. normally but had dropped to 91 lbs. The next morning Dr S walked in and said he was releasing me to go home. I told him the doctor said he was doing the feeding tube today while they ran more tests and he said "well he's not here today and now I'm your doctor and there's nothing wrong with you so you're going home."

My mom then stepped in and said "you're joking right. Half of her blood work is coming. Back abnormal, no one but this nurse had bothered to even look at her bowel movements and she's lost 9 lbs. in a week and mornings wrong!" The nurse then spoke up and said "with all due respect I really think you should look at this patient's bowel movements." he got very defensive yelling and saying he diagnosed me with Anorexia and General psychosis and sent a referral to OSU Psychiatry. I need cognitive behavioral therapy. I then called my GI doctor while my mom argued with him saying she refused to take me home like this because she's afraid I'd go home and die. My blood sugar had been dangerously low and I couldn't eat so she's not taking me home to die. Dr Shadchehr started yelling that he was calling securely to escort us out if we don't leave because I'm not medically I'll. I'm mentally ill and anorexic so refusing to eat

I spoke to my GI doctor on speaker phone and he told my mom to take me Straight to Riverside. Dr S laughed a sarcastic laugh saying they won't see you.

We went to Riverside and They took me straight back. The doctor walked in and said. "I've heard all about you. Your doctor at OSU told me you were coming. You were treated by him and right here it says general Psychosis and Anorexia. You have a diagnosis, he said you're perfectly healthy so there is no need for me to see you today. He sent a referral to a psychiatrist so I recommend you follow up with her. I had to wait a little over a week to get get into the psychiatrist and continued bleeding and losing weight in that time but finally the day came.

I went to the psychiatrist the next week and I'm a Paraplegic so I wheeled back to her office. After she talked to me and my mom for a few minutes. As soon as I got back she said "so what is it I'm supposed to be seeing you for?" I said, ``Apparently I'm Anorexic and crazy" she said "no really, why are you here?" I told her basically because I have to be and explained what happened in the hospital. She said she looked at my medical tests and things before I got there and did some psych evaluations and then said sure you're a little depressed but who wouldn't be, going through what you're going through but I have good news and bad news. Good news is you're not Anorexic or have any kind of psychosis or any kind of serious mental illnesses. The bad news is, I can't help you. The doctor recommended CBT but not all the CBT is going to fix a physical health problem and a very serious one at that. She then went on a tangent saying "I am so VERY sorry this is happening to you.

I can't tell you how many times this happens where these narcissistic, know or all doctors send me patients line you who are very sick with a physical health condition and try to pawn it off on a mental health problem, endangering your lives because they don't want to admit they actually don't know something. If I had to guess I would say that at least 90 percent or more doctors develop Narcissistic Personality Disorder at some point in their career and many by the time they get their PhD and they are the worst patients to have because of course they have NPD so believe they know it all but they are also Doctors so believe they know everything there is to know medically which means they are the least likely to seek help or treatment for this because they believe you're wrong. That right, they aren't mentally ill and you're wrong so never get help and continue to abuse and neglect patients like you for the rest of their career or until someone dies and they lose their license." she said "I'm going to read you the letter he sent me and show you. I can confidently diagnose him without even seeing him in person just because his letter is so grandiose." She read me his letter pointing out all the parts where he showed signs of narcissism in his writing which was almost every sentence and sometimes more than once in a sentence and said it's one of the worst cases she has seen and she was going to write to OSU and suggest he be removed as a traveling doctor there. She then gave me her card and said to contact her if anything ever comes up that she can help and apologized again for what he did to me wishing me luck in finding a medical doctor who will listen and can figure out what's wrong.

By the next week it had been three weeks since still bleeding and all I had been able to keep down in that tone was just under two cans of chicken broth, a small fruit smoothie, about six spoonful of mashed potatoes over several tries, the hospital gave me a peach fruit cup and I got down half of one slice of a peach, one and a half Popsicles and about 4-12 ounces if water or juice a day so was really dehydrated, really anemic from blood loss, really malnourished and had dropped from 110 lbs. to 72 lbs. I'm 5'1" by the way. I was to the point I couldn't even roll over without passing out and had to be pushed to the bathroom with my head between my knees because I kept passing out just sitting up. I couldn't go to the hospital because Dr. S had called them and convinced them I was totally insane. My mom didn't have any more PTO and went to work. I was so sick I literally thought I was going to die and wrote a note on my arm in sharpie saying who I was if I was found, what I originally went to the hospital for so they knew I was sick, my mom's contact info and a letter to my parents telling them how much I loved them and passed out twice just from holding my arms up. I was so sick and this doctor ruined my chance to get hospital care.

I then made one last stitch effort to save myself. I had told them at the ER that I had started three new meds. I managed to call the manufacturer on speaker phone with the phone lying on my chest without passing out and the first place I called was the manufacturer of Northera. They forwarded the call to one of their lab doctors. I explained my symptoms and the first thing he said was "Oh my God! A DOCTOR sent you home like this! He then said " Listen I need you to get to the ER NOW. You should probably call a squad. You are having a severe side effect from Northera and I can't believe the hospital would even consider sending you home without looking into these. I believe this doctor sent you home in life threatening condition with a condition called Gastric Ischemia. Northera is manufactured to raise your blood pressure. But in some cases it can raise your blood pressure on only certain parts of the body, usually the GI system. It can cause blood pressure to get so high that the blood vessels in your intestines and GI tract to spontaneously rupture. You are internally bleeding and can die very easily from this and I'm honestly shocked you're talking to now so you need to get to hospital asap. I told him I can't because Dr S called the other hospitals and told them I'm crazy and they just sent me home without doing anything. He said "If they won't take you, call back and have them transfer your call back to me. I will listen for your call and speak to them on your behalf. I then let him go and knowing that the ER wasn't an option.

I called my neurologists office who prescribed it. My doctor wasn't there but they called Northera and called me back saying they were getting me in with another one of their doctors and to get there as soon as I could. I had to call my mom and they let her leave work to take me. When I got there and the doctor saw me he instantly got furious that Dr S sent me home in life threatening condition. He assessed me, said I definitely have Gastric Ischemia, took me off Northera and sent me to get albumin, iron, a banana bag, fluids and a bunch of other meds to build up my blood volume because I was sent home internally bleeding for so long, they tried to replenish my electrolytes, vitamins and minerals since almost everything came back as low to very low on the blood test, pain meds, a ton of stomach meds like Zofran, Famotidine, something they said coats my stomach and intestinal lining and kept me there all day.

They didn't give me any kind of calories but told me only drink juice or things high on calories and to come back if I don't improve on 48 hours and said they want me to be eating within 48 hours, said it would be a liquid diet and I'll probably be on a liquid diet for a whole until my GI system has had time to heal and to take it slow. Work on a liquid diet and maybe try thicker foods like cottage cheese and work my way up to soft food and eventually solid food. Told me I can try things if I want to but it could take a few months to get back to a totally normal diet. About 36 hours later I got a half of a cherry icy down. By the next day I was able to eat two cans of chicken broth and 24 oz of juice and improved from there. I was on a liquid diet for about 3 weeks, a soft diet gradually going from really thin things line yogurt, pudding and apple sauce to mashed potatoes that weren't so watery they poured off the spoon to things with some spices line pot roast blended up on the blender with ensure and eventually macaroni and cheese. It took me about weeks to graduate from Mac and cheese to solid food like cereal or real meat but I did struggle eating only solid food for a while. My GI system was so damaged it had to basically learn to work again.

August 2019 my mom went in for a gallbladder removal and told the surgeon she had EDS like I do. I woke up that morning feeling a total sense of doom like something bad was going to g happen and that my mom shouldn't have the surgery done. We got ready and went to the surgical center. She signed in and my mom, dad and I took a seat. That's when I told my mom I think she should cancel it and that I have a horrible feeling about this but couldn’t explain why. She just kind of laughed it off and said it would be fine. I kept telling her it's not too late to back out and she can always get a second opinion until they call her back to prep her for surgery. Once they prepped her they called me and my dad back to sit with her.

The surgeon Dr K came in the room and that's when I knew things would be really bad. I have always said that if a doctor comes in wearing an expensive suit or really expensive looking pin skirt and suit jacket to run and if they come in wearing khaki pants or a more basic pair of slacks or jeans like anyone can find at a place like TJ Maxx and a polo, regular old button up shirt that is like plaid or not too fancy or a basic blouse than they are the good doctors. The fancier they are the worse their sense of ethics and medical capabilities. When you have a doctor walk in wearing what looks like a custom made suit, tailored perfectly to their body, dress shoes shined to the point you can see your own reflection in them, golden cufflinks, a massive ring on their hand or even worse, multiple rings, pocket liner with a big chunky fancy and custom engraved pen in their pocket with hair styled to perfection than you better run for your life… Well her surgeon walked in and his outfit probably cost more than the most expensive suit that Donald Trump or Bill Gates himself could even rationalize buying with an ego to match. That's when I started asking questions like how many surgeries he has done and his success rate. I also told him my mom has Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and asked him how familiar he is with the condition and the surgical protocol surrounding it. He condescendingly replied that knew how to do surgery on EDS patients then explained what they were going to do as if we were total idiots. When he left the room I basically pleaded with my mom to cancel it and find another surgeon, telling her again I had a terrible feeling about this whole thing and meeting the surgeon just confirmed my bad feelings about all of this. The nurse and anesthesiologist came to get her and as she was being wheeled out the last thing I said as she was being wheeled down the hall was “It's not too late.”

She went through with the surgery and almost the whole time she was in surgery I was practically burning holes in the carpet with my wheels packing and shaking. My moms had a lot of surgeries and some more major than this and I have had quite the list of surgeries myself. My dad is the one who has only been put to sleep twice but I have never been like this during any of our surgeries. Usually I’m just like “bye mom, good luck!” and I'm pretty content about things. Of course there's always a bit of anxiety but it’s nothing major. Honestly, I'm usually way less anxious than most people are but this time I was a mess. My mom came out of surgery sooner than expected and soon after they let me and my dad come back to see her.

The first thing she said when we walked in her room was "sometimes wrong. I told them and they didn't believe me" the nurse came in and said the surgery was a success and said she would leave the surgical center in a half hour. I brought up the fact that my mom felt like something was wrong and the nurse asked what was wrong and my mom said she just doesn't feel good at all. The nurse blew it off on being groggy from the anesthesia and left the room. My mom went downhill from there. A half hour came and an hour later they came in and said “well some people need to stay a little longer than others. This is normal, it just depends how quick you clear the anesthesia. I told them, with EDS we usually need extra to stay asleep because me metabolizes it quicker than someone without EDS which again they blew off and the nurse walked out. She started having extreme pain which they blamed on the fact that they filled her abdomen with air to remove her gallbladder, Her blood pressure started dropping which they blamed on anxiety. She was, white as a ghost.

The doctor came in 3.5 hours later to check on her and kept asking if she was ready to go home trying to get her out and this is when we noticed he was acting strange, like he was nervous himself and was trying to get rid of her. Soon after she started having trouble breathing and they had to put oxygen on her. At this point I blatantly asked him if he nicked her liver and he offensively said he hadn’t. After about 6 hours my mom was literally yelling in agony any time she was moved because the pain was so intense. Her blood pressure was in the 70s/40s and at that point, having a lot of medical knowledge between nursing school and my experiences with EDS I started telling them they needed to send her to the hospital and flat out told the doctor he screwed up. He got really defensive and mad but he still left her there and every time he came in he was so nervous himself that he couldn't stand still and was basically dancing in place. I kept asking him what he did because I could tell he knew what he did and he just kept saying the surgery went perfectly and some people's bodies just over react so they need to stay a little longer. They kept saying it was normal and she would go home soon.

Nine hours later her blood pressure was bottoming out and of course they had to close and everyone wanted to go home so he couldn't keep her any more and just hope she magically got better, they finally decided to send her to the hospital. They called the squad and the doctor started filling out paperwork for transfer. The paramedics loaded my mom up with her screaming and crying out in agony the entire time. They were ready to go and the nurse asked Dr Keith if he was done with his paperwork that goes to the ER with my mom and he replied saying wait a second. I want to make sure I word this the right way. When I’m done look this over for me. I need to make sure I dot all of my I’s and cross my Ts to make sure I cover my butt.” She agreed to look at it, both thinking no one heard during all of the commotion which I happened to be recording, which is one benefit to being in a chair. You can put your phone on record and lay it on your lap, against your stomach and no one notices but I knew he screwed up and wanted all the documentation I could get. You can hear the paramedics and my mom yelling more than anything but I have no doubt if I downloaded this onto a computer and was able to adjust the sounds that you could hear the doctor say this.

She was taken to Mount Carmel where they ran blood work and realized quickly that she was internally bleeding. They gave her two units of blood and then admitted her. giving her more during the night when moving from the gurney to the ER bed and from the ER bed to the admission bed she screamed in agony and pain. The next morning we visited my mom at the hospital. She looked terrible but said she was feeling better... I think wishful thinking and asked me to bring my service dog for her to visit with later that afternoon. Little did we know, she was so sick and her blood levels were so low that she remembers little to nothing from about a half hour after being brought out of surgery at the surgical center. My dad and I went home for lunch and to get my service dog Maggie and when we were pulling into the parking garage we got a call from a surgeon at the hospital

He said my mom was crashing, they had called rapid response and they couldn't wait for more imaging and tests to find the site of the bleeding. They had to go to emergency exploratory surgery and to get to the hospital now. I told him we were in the parking garage and he told us to meet him upstairs in the ICU waiting room which was shared with the drop down unit she was originally placed in. When we got there The surgeon told us they moved her to the ICU wing. He said she seemed to be stable earlier this morning but suddenly her vitals went and she started crashing. The nurse called rapid response who was giving her blood to try to stabilize her enough for surgery right now because as things stand she would never make it through surgery so they were trying to bring her vitals up and stabilize her enough to operate. He told us he doesn't believe in giving people false hope and wanted to be honest with us, saying things didn't look good at all but if we want to go ahead with surgery he would try his best. He said it was our decision if we wanted to try exploratory surgery or let her go and he wouldn’t judge us for either decision we made again telling us how bad things were but also saying she seems to have a lot of willpower. I signed the paper to have them do the surgery as my mom put me as the person to make these decisions for her care. He then told us that at this point, when a patient is as critical as she is, whether they make it through surgery or not is no longer up to the surgeon but up to the patient and their willpower to fight. He asked if I had any questions for him and I said “There's no time for questions, just please, I’m begging you, do your best to save my mom. We still need her. He told us rapid response was in her room so there will be a lot of people so it's pretty crazy in there right now but told us he suggested that we go in, tell her goodbye and make our peace with her now just in case because we may or may not have another chance to.

We went to the ICU and I stopped right outside the hall where a nurse came walking up. At this point I started crying telling my dad to go in and told him I can't because we had Maggie with and Service dogs aren't allowed into the ICU but to tell my mom I love her. The nurse then said “Just go ahead into the room. You’re in the hospital a lot too aren't you? I said yeah. He said “I knew I had seen you two around here before. I’ve seen her and trust me, she’s way more behaved and better trained than most of the so-called service dogs other people bring in here. The only thing that worries me is that she will get stepped on because there's a lot going on in there”. I picked her up and put her on my lap and he said “Perfect” He took us to her room and told us to try to get up by the bed to see her but also try to stay out of the way of rapid response. Being an interpreter and also going to school for nursing I quickly spotted out the best place to be without then having to tell me. There were four people in her room working on her, one left from the right side of her bed to go grab some more blood and there was a couch beside her bed that was up against the right wall but about 2.5 feet from the back wall so I told my dad to go into the hole where the couch wasn't against the back wall and went in after him parking my chair right in front of him and with my knees under the edge of the back of my moms bed so we could both reach her.

The rapid response guy came back and I asked if I was in his way and he said no, not at all and that he will have to remember this because that's a good spot for people to stand and be out of the way. She had 4 double lumen lines going into her connected to four bags of blood, antibiotics, and a ton of other bags of medications. Somehow she was still awake and talking. We told her we loved her and needed her, to keep fighting and I told her Maggie was here too and needed her grandma and put my mom's hand on her head. My mom said hi to her and told us she wasn't going anywhere. Interestingly, this was one of the only things she remembers from the whole experience. She later said she remembered thanking me when they were taking her down to surgery that she made me a promise not to go anywhere so she better not break it lol. They wheeled her out of the room and as they were going out of the room I told one of the nurses that she had Ehlers Danlos Syndrome.

They sent us down to surgical waiting. In surgical waiting they told us that it's hard to tell how long surgery will last because it depends how hard it is to figure out what's going on during exploratory surgery but at the very least we are looking at 2 hours. I asked if we had time to take my service dog home and drop her off since if she made it out she would be back in ICU and she said we should have plenty of time. We live about 12 minutes away from the hospital so ran home and dropped Maggie off. On the way I called her brother and mom and updated them. Of course when we got home my Autistic dad goes into the kitchen and starts pouring chicken broth into a pot and filling up another with water to make himself some mashed potatoes and noodles so I had to stop him and tell him there was no time for that and if he was really that hungry grab something quick like a sandwich because we had to get back to the hospital. He asked why, saying they said at least two hours. I told him because we need to be there in case something goes wrong. He grabbed a sandwich and a bag of chips and we went back to the hospital.

We got back 35 minutes after we had left and when we went into the waiting room my aunt and uncle were in there and said they called my mom this morning and said they were going to visit but when they went to her room, someone else was in there and they told them she was in surgery. She asked why we didn't call and tell them. We said we didn't know they were coming and it's an emergency surgery so we didn't know it was happening ourselves until about an hour ago. 45 minutes after they took her back, a nurse came out and told us they were done. I asked if she was okay since “were done” doesn't say much, not even if she survived or not. She just said that the doctor said he would meet us up stairs in the same waiting room he spoke with us in before surgery. We went upstairs and he never came. After 45 minutes of waiting for the doctor my aunt and uncle left. An hour went by and no one came. After an hour and 15 minutes I couldn't wait any longer so went back down stairs while my dad stayed upstairs and told the surgical waiting nurse we had been up there for over an hour and the doctor still hasn’t come. She seemed surprised and then said to go back up there and she will send him our way when she finds him. I went back towards the elevator and here comes the surgeon out of a door in the hall.

He apologized and said he was just about to come up there and it's been a crazy day because as soon as he got my mom out, they had another emergency surgery. He said my mom survived the surgery but things are still very critical and that she was in a coma. He said he still doesn't want to get our hopes up because he doesn't believe in that and that we need to be very aware that what happens from here is very much reliant on her and it's now up to her and how badly she wants to fight whether she goes one way or the other. He said the surgery was actually really quick because once they got her open it was quite obvious where the bleeding was coming from He said it looked like her liver had been sliced into during the surgery and after bleeding for so long her body couldn't tolerate it anymore and all of a sudden she went from internally bleeding to hemorrhaging. He said when they sliced her open her abdominal cavity was filled with blood, which I knew because before they wheeled her into surgery her stomach was so distended she looked like she was pregnant. He said it was a good call telling the nurse that she has EDS because that's not something he's familiar with but the nurse had a family member with this so was able to give him some pointers. He said he had a hard time with suturing her liver shut because her tissues kept ripping through the sutures so they ended up putting a dissolving sponge in there around her liver to help hold it together and did multiple layers of sutures to close it up. He said once he was able to close up her liver he pulled all of her abdominal organs out (he acted it out with his hands), saying the intestines, kidneys etc. examining them one by one, to make sure he didn't miss anything before putting them back in, cleaning her out really good and closing her up. He again said things are very critical and I asked about the game plan. He said he was hoping for her to come out of the coma in about two weeks and if that doesn't happen we will worry about that when the time comes. He then told us we can go see her if we want to.

I got my dad and we went to my moms room. She was covered in tubes and surrounded by machines. I asked the nurse if they knew if she had any cognitive functioning and they did not and wouldn’t be assessing that yet. I went up to her and put my fingers into her fist and asked her if she could hear me, to squeeze my fingers. She squeezed. I then noticed her feet were covered up and I know she hates having her feet covered so I asked her if she wants her feet uncovered to squeeze my hand. She squeezed. I then uncovered them and asked her if she wanted them covered back up to squeeze my hand and she didn't squeeze. That's when I started having some hope.

I told my dad to get on the other side of her and he did and I told her those fingers were his and to squeeze his fingers and she did. I then started asking her yes and no questions, telling her to squeeze my hand for yes and my dad's hand for no. I asked if she was in any pan and she squeezed his hand. I asked if she was comfortable and she squeezed my hand. I asked if she needed anything and she squeezed his hand. I asked if she was tired and she squeezed my hand. I asked if she wanted us to leave so she could rest and she didn't squeeze any of our hands so I clarified and said “It's okay, if your tired mom, You’ve been through a lot. If you want us to leave so you can get some rest we can come back tomorrow morning. It’s about 7:00 at night now and if you need to rest we totally understand. I will call the nurses station right before I go to bed to check on you and I have an alarm set for 8 in the morning to call again and check, right after shift change. If you want to go to sleep we will come back tomorrow around 9 or 10 in the morning but it's totally up to” right then she squeezed my hand and I said so you were worried because you didn't know when we would come back? She squeezed my hand. I said we will be back between 9 and 10. Did you want us to leave so you can rest? She squeezed my hand. I then pulled my hand out and told her good night and good bye. I saw her fist clinch like she was squeezing and I went back over and said I saw her squeeze and asked if she needed anything and she clinched her other fist so we went home for the night.

Of course I ended up calling the nursing station at 9 pm, at midnight, at 4 am and at 8 am that night but we came back the next morning. There wasn't a lot of progress that day but we visited twice that day. The third day I made my 8 am call and to my surprise they said she started co breathing with the respirator earlier that morning. We visited again and she was still in a coma but they said her co breathing was getting better and better and if she kept up the good work, they may take her off the respirator portion of life support the next day and put her on forced air. Well we left and when we came back at around 7:30 pm they told us she was starting to come out of the coma and was now in a semi conscious state now opening her eyes and looking around every once in a while and they had just pulled the respirator and put her on forced air.

The nurse followed us into her room and said they would like to try a nasal cannula and are pushing her hard because you can get addicted to oxygen fairly quickly saying they wanted to sit her up in a chair and put a nasal cannula on her at the highest setting and asked if we would mind sitting with her and letting them know if her oxygen hit 70%. We agreed and she was still very much comatose only opening her eyes once when the first started to lift her to put her into a recliner. They reclined it back enough that she wouldn't fall out and had us watch her. We talked to her even though she couldn't talk back other than squeezing but she did open her eyes twice within a half hour. After about 28 minutes her oxygen hit 78 percent so they came in, put her back on forced oxygen and back in her bed saying she was doing really well. We visited a little while longer and then left so she could get her rest. On day four she woke up and was out of the coma, able to talk to us but did fall asleep a lot. That day they went back and forth between the nasal cannula and forced air. Day 5 she went onto the nasal cannula and was pretty much full out of the coma. She got better and better and pretty much as soon as she could prove she could get back and forth to the bathroom without passing out they sent her home. Her oxygen would still drop really low when she went to the bathroom or walked at all so that was scary but she came home. She struggled with her oxygen levels for a long time but eventually that improved.

Months later she was still struggling with memory which she still does to this day, she still has pain and severely decreased energy levels. We found out over a year later that she had multiple brain aneurysms either during one or the surgeries or while on life support and was diagnosed with permanent cognitive impairment. She has very low energy levels now and will never be like she was before the botched surgery. She returned to work only to be laid off during the pandemic but while she was working I honestly felt like she had no business working and should be on disability as when she wasn't working all she did was lay on the couch and sleep. She had zero life outside of work because work took every ounce of energy she had, just doing a desk job so it does worry me that she has been trying to get another job because since being laid off she still spends most of her day on the couch asleep or just laying down watching tv, struggling to even get out of bed in the morning and get the energy needed to do things like shower, cook and clean.

I see a lot of me, right before my doctor pulled me out of work in her. Refusing to admit she's as sick as she is and pushing further than her body can actually tolerate, all because this doctor said he knew about EDS and the surgical protocols when he didn’t and maybe even his job as a whole, slicing her liver open and when was scared he would get caught so didn't tell the hospital what happened and spent 9 hours covering his butt while he let my mom sit there dying and left the hospital having to go in emergency exploratory surgery to try to figure out what happened when if he told them and sent her to the ER right away they may have been able to fix it without her having all the problems from bleeding out and the coma she had today. And to think, in Ohio you can't sue for medical abuse and neglect unless someone dies or is essentially permanently a vegetable so. These doctors just get to walk away with no ramifications for destroying people's lives.

PTSD is complex and severe especially when you are living in a world of people with very high respect for medical personnel but you know if you have a rare disease you don't get the caveat of good doctors and nurses. They are far and few and honestly the medical field is just like every other job where 95 percent of the personnel does 5 percent of the work, pawning it off on the 5 percent of the staff that actually takes their job seriously forcing them to do 95 percent of the work. As I mentioned before, I saw a psychiatrist after falsely being diagnosed with anorexia and general psychosis when I really had a life threatening condition called Gastric Ischemia and she said that she believes at least, the very least 90 percent or more doctors develop Narcissistic Personality Disorder at some point in their career and many by the time they get their PhD and they are the worst patients to have because of course they have Narcissistic Personality Disorder, so believe they know it all but they are also Doctors so believe they know everything there is to know medically which means they are the least likely to seek help or treatment for this because they believe you're wrong and continue hurting people and even taking lives never believing they are to blame.

I believe this wholeheartedly and those with common conditions take for granted the medical care they receive. Doctors like easy cases, they like treating conditions they know about because they know exactly what to do and can get them in and out, putting in little work and making a lot of money but if you have a rare disease most doctors and even nurses are too narcissistic to admit they haven't heard of something or don't know everything there is to know about every medical condition. Most humans are also very lazy creatures preferring to take the easiest way out so if they don't know about your condition there's no way they are going to sit down at a computer for hours and really look into it and learn about it and too much pride to contact specialists in the field to get advice and learn to treat the patient properly. They look for the easy way out and unfortunately the easy way out for most doctors is one word, well actually one word that they keep replacing with a new word every few years. Hypochondriasis, Psychosomatic Personality Disorder, Psychosomaticism, Somatization Disorder, Munchausen Syndrome, Illness Anxiety Disorder, Factitious Disorder Functional Neurological Symptom Disorder, General Psychosis, Conversion Disorder. It doesn't matter what term they use as the term is updated every few years once patients catch on to the true meaning “Nothing is wrong and it's all in your head” Occasionally if you present with other symptoms like weight loss or vomiting they may even pin a body dysmorphic disorder on you such as Anorexia or Bulimia. Anything to get you out of their hair and make you someone else's problem so they can get their next easy fix patient. Most doctors doctors and a lot of the bad nurses develop narcissistic personality disorder and true convince themselves that they are doing the right thing, even if they get a call saying the patient died upon release, “they were fine when they were here so that's unrelated”

Even if a person has a medical condition that explains their symptoms but they don't take the time to listen to the patient or do research its “well the symptoms the patient presented with had nothing to do with their preexisting condition" so if they die they can go home at night feeling zero guilt and zero remorse because the medical field is very much based on desensitizing themselves to trauma that they take it to the point of denying accountability to the patient, their other doctors, their families and even themselves which is why the majority of EDS patients and patients who have severe or serious rare disease as a whole develop complex PTSD.

There is no treatment available to us because who do they send you to for PTSD? A Psychiatrist, a Psychologist or a Counselor and what are they? Health care workers. Practicing in the very same field that has encompassed us with a lifetime of medical abuse and neglect. Sending someone with Complex PTSD from medical abuse and neglect is like sending a US military soldier who developed PTSD after being a prisoner of war in Iraq back to Iraq to talk about their experiences with an Iraqi soldier. It just doesn't work. To make things worse, the abuse and neglect continues even after your diagnosis so it's like sending that US soldier back to Iraq to be a prisoner of war over and over and over again. If the medical field doesn't change the abuse continues and the PTSD gets worse and worse throughout our lives.