#I wasn't going to watch part 1 until part 2 came out

[softestqueeen]

Hi! I was reading through 500 celebration prompts, first of all: congratulations 🥳🎊🎉you deserve it ! I dont know how comfortable you are with writing post prision spencer, but he is the only one I can think of when I read prompts 2 "It won't be easy you know... trying to love me." and 6 "I- I don't know who I am anymore. I'm scared." . Maybe like before he got arrested they were starting something and he feels that reader is going to give up on him bc of what he did on the inside, and it’s hurt/comfort, you could totally come up with something better. Feel free to ignore 🤍✨

a/n: thank you sm for your request! so, fun fact i stopped watching cm after hotch left (s12) because 1) obv hotch left and 2) i knew my bbg was going to go through it with his mom and prison and stuff and if i don't see it, it doesnt happen. periodt. but, i'm still a sucker for hurt/comfort, so here you go, enjoy <3 warnings: very incorrect mention of events during the prison arc (your girl has no idea), hurt/comfort, mention of prison, mention of murder pairing: post prison!spencer reid x gn!reader I 1175 words special prompts I special masterlist

You and Spencer had only moved in together a few weeks before everything went downhill. Seeing your boyfriend in court, seeing the tears in his eyes once it was clear he had to go to jail almost broke you. Without the suppoert of the team - who suppoerted you when Spencer couldn't and were always there for you - you don't think you would have been able to make it.

But, finally, the BAU found a way to prove his innocence and got him out of that shithole. You were aching to see him, especially because he didn't put you on the visitors list. When you first heard that, you couldn't belive it. Why didn't he wanna see you? But after Garcia visited him and came back with a letter for you from Spencer, where he explained how he didn't want you to see him like this, you somewhat understood him.

It still hurt, but of course you respected his desicion.

So, when he came out about a week ago, you were overjoyed. You almost couldn't believe that you'd get to hold him in you arms again.

Of course you knew he wouldn't be the same man as before after these months in jail, but a small part of you still hoped that you'd get back to normal quite fast. Oh, how wrong you were.

When Spencer first came through the door - Penelope came to pick him up, he didn't want you anywhere near that prison - he practically fell into your amrs and remained like that for what felt like hours. Still, once he pulled away it felt too soon. He was distant, but not unusually so, more like when he had been on a tough case and just needed some space. So, you gave him what he needed.

After your time together you learnt how to read him quite well and with every shy smile he gave you once he realised you were profiling him, you felt like you got a little bit of your Spencer back.

But, you soon realised that he wanted a lot more space than usual. Even when his body language practically screamed for you to be close to him or at least be in the same room, he still kindly asked you fro space. Which was fine, until it wasn't.

You took a week off work to help him get settled in again and today was your first day back at work. Everything was fine and Spencer even hugged you goodbye before you left. You felt so special, as he rarely seeked out any touch these days. Nights that would have been spent cuddled together were now spent on opposite sides with Spencer as far away from you as humanly possible on the bed.

Checking in with him at lunchtime, he told you he had ordered in some food and was now reading some russian book you've never heard of.

You left work the moment the clock hit 6pm and drove home as fast as you could with all the traffic. Opening the door, you take off your shoes and place your keys on the designated hook.

Moving further into the apartment, you realise something is off. You don't see Spencer. Usually when he reads he sits in his favourite chair by the window, the old thing already indented from where he always sits. But he was nowhere to be soon.

"Spence, I'm home," you call out, but are only met with silence. Before you could worry too much, you opened the bedroom door and the sight that awaited you broke your heart.

There was Spencer, you sweet and amazing boyfriend, lying under the covers with tears running down his face. He obviously hasn't registered that you were home, hi hands pulling his legs even tighter against his torso.

You've never seen someone this tall seem so small.

Taking a step forward, you reach out your hand to him, not quite touching him yet.

"Spencer... what's wrong? Please, talk to me?" Once he realised you were there he almost jumped out of his skin in the way he jerked back. Eyes wide he quickly searched for the quickest route out of this situation, but he was quick to realise that he had to talk to you.

He let out a heavy sigh, before scooting back and leaning against the headboard, giving you the space to sit down on the edge of the bed, which he previosuly occupied.

Taking a deep breath he started to talk. "Uhm- uh- as you've probably realised, the other people in prison weren't the nicest to me and I- uhm-," Spencer was evidently having problems with finding the right words, but you were quick to assure him to take his time.

"So, I'll just say I had a hard time, I don't want you to know what they did to me, what I had to do to them. And I- I just don't really know how to act anymore, you know? I'm not- I'm not the same person that I was before prison and that uh- scares me a bit, I guess. I- I don't know who I am anymore. I'm scared."

If your heart could even break any more, it just did. Knowing how insecure Spencer had felt previously and how he had gained so much confidence since you've gotten together. To see this confidence shattered pained you so much.

"Oh, Spencer. I can't even imagine what you have gone through, but I'm so proud of you, you know?" at that he perked up, his previously downcast eyes now meeting yours, "I am proud of you. You did it, it's over and your're here now. You're safe you know and I'm so glad you're back. I love you so much Spencer and I will help you in any way I can. But please, you need to talk to me. I worry about you, because I deeply love you and I only want the best for you."

You could see tears glistening in his eyes again.

"It won't be easy you know... trying to love me."

"Spence, I don't have to try to love you, because I already do. I love you unconditionally, no matter how hard times may get, I'll always be there for you, okay? Loving you is not a task or a burden, but it's a choice. And everyday I wake up and I chose you," with your last word your finger pokes his chest and Spencer finally realsies that this is real.

He is not in prison anymore, he is free. He has you, the love of his life who also loves him back.

Spencer can't take it anymore, he throws himself into your arms and he lets the tears fall freely, soaking your shirt. You don't mind and you also know that he knows that.

This is not over and it will take a while for everything to get back to normal - or whatever normal will be in the future - but now you both knew that it was going to be alright.

the requests for this event ARE CLOSED! thank you to everybody who requested something, I'm now getting to the last ones.

a/n: i hope you liked this, if so please leave some notes, likes, reblogs and comments! feedback is very appreciated!

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