#I wasn’t a big 1D fan but still

[twopoppies]

Cute little receipt:

Got a new colleague recently. She’s from Germany and used to be a dancer when she lived in the UK years ago. During this time she joined the team of back up dancers for 1D at the Olympic in 2012. I asked her what they were like but she said that, as she’s quite a bit older than the boys and wasn’t a fan, she didn’t pay them much attention. Then I asked her if she said hi to them. She said she didn’t but that one of the other dancers tried. Then she told the story. She said that there had been a party where she and some of the other dancers had been standing around a table close to the boys. One of the other dancers who was younger had a big crush on Harry but didn’t have the courage to go and say hi. So my colleague had encouraged her. After the other dancer had plucked up the courage, she went over to the boys. But just a few seconds later she had returned looking shocked and told them that as soon as she had gone over to Harry and said hi, Louis had placed himself between them and said “go away, he’s mine!”

As always, take it with a grain of salt, but my colleague was never and still isn’t a fan of 1D so it seems like a weird thing to make up if it wasn’t true 🤷🏻‍♀️

And to me it really does sound like something Louis would do 😅

kjhsdfjhsdajks this is fantastic. LMAO! And yeah, it really does sound exactly like something Louis would do.

[fortunatelyseveredreamland]

What a week…

It’s so weird to be back here. I am sad I deleted my blog so many years ago and forgot what it was even called. I knew I’d come back eventually if something big were to happen. Never thought this exact thing would be the reason.

I was at work on Wednesday when I found out. My hands immediately shook and my heart sank. I couldn’t wait to leave to get home and be able to know more and mourn. As soon as I got in the car, I started crying.

It’d been such a long time since 1D took up this much space in my brain. It feels like a lifetime ago, sitting on tumblr from night to morning. Rewatching the video diaries and music videos millions of times. Making my friends and followers one shots and photoshopped texts. Plastering my entire room with posters from every magazine I could find. But somehow, it also feels like yesterday?

It felt weird to have my mind immediately transport back to being in my room and only caring about the boys. Sleepovers with my bestie revolving around their music.

I don’t think I have ever loved something as much as I love One Direction. The feeling of hanging out with you all and loving the boys so very much. I wish I could feel that way right now without the overwhelming amount of guilt.

I had to come back here with a brand new account and feel this community’s embrace again. The only people that will ever truly understand this feeling. And I’m so glad I did. While everyone is speaking how they feel, they are also sharing old posts, and funny ones. Ones that make all of the good memories come rushing back like a rough river. It’s like I never left. And in some way, I don’t think I ever truly did. I left my heart on this website and in One Direction and now I feel like there is a part of my soul that is never coming back. But maybe in due time, he can live in that void for the rest of time.

I have seen a lot of posts about inner child. But to be honest, I don’t think my inner child is crying. My full adult self is crying. The part of me that would spend all of my life savings on a ticket to an ot5 reunion. The little girl inside of me left long ago, but the adult 27 year old woman who has nothing to look forward to now feels like she’s actively dying inside. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. They were supposed to live until they were 90. It’s just unfair and too soon.

I’d like to say that I hope all of you are doing well. This is the first day since the news that I haven’t been a full puddle of tears, but I also keep waking up and hoping this is a nightmare. I took a shower and blasted take me home. I cried a little bit it was cathartic. It made me feel that all of those memories are worth so much to not only me but to the boys and their families.

I’d like to round this off with my letter to Liam.

Hey Leeyum,

I miss you like crazy already. Which pains me to say because I could’ve been a more active fan for you in the last few years. I knew what had been happening, but always felt like you were going to come out on the other side, stronger. I wish we all could’ve saved you.

Thank you for being you. Thank you for writing songs that helped me through my teenage and early adult years. They still do. Thank you for making us laugh. Thank you for making us proud. I know you wouldn’t want us to wallow in sadness for you. You’d want us to talk about the memories.

The boys love you so much and I hope you knew that. There was no One Direction without you. You were the glue that held it all together. You deserved more public love than you were ever given. I just hope you know how much the 1D family cares and loves you.

I’m so sorry this was the way your story ended. You deserved so much more than life gave you. I will love you until the end of time, sweet boy. <3

I love you all. Please take care of yourselves. I plan on sticking around a while. Hope to see more names that I recognize on my feed.

[pop-punklouis]

I feel it's not fair at all, poppunk is not my type, On the other hand, I love Louis's voice in 1d songs, and back to you , and couple songs from walls album. And that's it, I don't have anything new to listen to from him. I know this is my problem and my musical taste and it's not Louis's fault. But come on do something like back to you that more people loved it, what's wrong with that? If we want to be logical pop punk has its own fans but they are in the minority.

I know his prejudice fans always says, that's fine, he'll be fine, don't worry about him, let Louis be for us, we don't want to share him, becoming number one is not his goal, but isn't it? Wasn't he happy when he was number one in the UK? I know the fans made it , but it's not like Louis said I'd be upset if I became number one and I don't want it and I refuse to accept it.

He says he doesn't care about commercial success, but who wouldn't want that. When you have the ability and talent, what's wrong with using it and singing a song that will bring everyone's attention to you? I really don't understand why Louis doesn't want to sing something that is popular with the majority of society?

1) this is such a weirdly self-serving ask of an artist like: “create music i want to listen to. if not, i cant listen to it and you’re not going to be successful.” perhaps, louis isn’t making music for you but for himself and if that isn’t for you, that’s fine. but that doesn’t mean he isn’t successful…..?

2) louis made mainstream pop music with one direction for five years. and tried his own hand at it for the first half of his solo career. he’d been in that world for a decade. and for his solo career, it wasn’t really that successful. and most importantly he wasn’t happy??

3) louis has made it abundantly clear that he didn’t want to make pop music. that his heart belonged in the indie rock/pop-punk scene. and always has. there’s been remnants of that in his style, his interests, and some of his music for years. he’s given countless interviews and talked himself about the pressure that was put on him to dress up as someone he wasn’t with these major record labels. to hide his accent. to create radio friendly music. to be a puppet on a string for them. he wasted years of his career dealing with that pressure and those contracts.

4) FITF, an album that was created as the most authentic body of work he’s released yet, is what got him the number one. it wasn’t walls. it wasn’t any of the strictly EDM work he released. it was FITF. it was an album that featured the sound that he loves and wants to strive towards going forward. it was louis clear vision babe.

5) louis has seen a growth in his career and his venue sizes that is exponential in just one year. and this isn’t because he’s releasing mainstream pop music. it’s because he’s being authentically him. his music is better. his tour is bigger. his presence is brighter. it’s gravitating so much good his way because of the content he’s creating and how it’s translating to his crowds and him as an artist. he’s a much more confident person than he was just a couple years ago. he’s a much more self-assured person.

6) FITF is part of the reason he’s being booked for these festivals now. it allowed him the growth in his fanbase and live shows to attract fests. if he was still creating music like Walls, i’m not sure if it would be shaking out the same way. and with how his music sounds now, it is open to attracting new fans especially in these big festival settings. most of the songs from walls don’t have the capacity to do that. and that’s just the reality.

7) there isnt just one metric of success. success has many different forms. numbers and charts aren’t the only way to succeed. and louis has lived in that world of success. he’s done all of those things. he’s hit those milestones. they feel good, but they aren’t a driving force behind why he does what he does. he does what he’s doing now because he’s finally being able to show who he is sonically. who he is as a lyricist. who he wants to continue growing into going forward in his career. he’s succeeding through his own journey in the industry. and he’s doing a damn good job controlling that for himself.

8) there’s nothing wrong with pop music. i love pop music. there’s a reason why pop music is popular. but asking your favorite artist to reshape who they’ve steadily been building themselves to be all because you don’t like the sound and you think they need to follow a one-dimensional version of success is….. sad lmao he has worked so hard to be where he is. to feel authentic in the music he’s putting out. and for someone to be like “um anyways i don’t like this. go back to what you were trying so hard to not be. i liked your music better that way” is just ????

9) indie-rock isn’t unsuccessful. it isn’t dead. it’s very alive and successful. genres don’t have to be pop or mainstream to be successful. give music much more credit than that, please.

[alarrytale]

https://www.tumblr.com/alarrytale/762609138761072640/your-answer-was-so-interesting-it-made-me-think?source=share

yikes. you should try to get to know Louis.

he was always an oasis/green day guy, into indie brit rock.

not surprised a larrie is looking down at him, but still. the way you people think so little of him, as if his taste and choices dont matter unless they're exactly like harry.

I just need to understand. Do you think Louis have chosen this indie kind of music style to support his laddy image?

I very much think it’s actually the music style Louis likes and he’s finally confident and free enough to make the music he really wants? It’s not a secret to anyone that he wasn’t a big fan of the first 1D albums and he did what he could to get their music in another direction.

Yes the music style goes well with his laddy bro image, but I doubt that he chose the music style because of that.

Hello, anon (yes, these two asks are from the same anon)

First of all, "he was always a oasis/green day guy" is simply not true and i'm pretty tired of this attempt at rewriting history. If you go back and actually look at the evidence and what Louis has said himself you will see that.

Jay said that Louis was obsessed with S club 7 from a young age. On Louis' own bebo account he had a list of his favourite artists and bands. Do you remember which one's he mentioned? I do. He was in a band the Rogue which did covers of hit songs. Do you know which songs they performed? Songs like I got a feeling by the Black eyes peas. Louis is also into musicals, he played Danny in Grease and has mentioned that his favourite movie is Grease and his favourite song from Grease is Hopelessly devoted to you. He's got a tattoo of a Nickleback song, he and H went to the same the Script concert. His guilty pleasure music is Abba. He covered Look after you by the Fray and didn’t sing anything Oasis, britpop or indie at his xft auditions.

He has mentioned being a Green day fan, but there is zero evidence from 1991-2020 (ish) that Louis has ever been into britpop. I can buy that he was a casual fan (like 99% of the british population in the 90's.). But this "Oasis is my inspiration, i've always been a massive fan" thing? That's a narrative they've created recently, to match his change in image and sound. He's never had an Oasis poster in his bedroom, or worn an Oasis t-shirt. He's never been to an Oasis concert. He was 4 years old when Wonderwall came out. I honestly think he's more of a 00's music kid than 90's, because that's what all the evidence suggests.

I think that Louis and his team felt he needed to find himself as an artist and find his sound. Who is Louis Tomlinson the artist? The pop world is hard to compete in, and i think he gave up trying to make it in that genre (with that note he posted about redefining what success means to him). He also needs to appear straight and like a lad that's into women, and he's northern, so his label probably suggested that he'd lean into his northern, common lad, chavvy style roots and northern common lad music. They probably suggested he'd go back to the 90's glory days of northern, common lad music and replicate that. It's something he is able to do, it doesn’t feel foreign to him and like pretending, and i don't think he dislikes the music.

I think Louis music style is still very much pop, with elements of indie, punk rock and alt. Music. But it's still too pop to be classified as something else. Matt Vines can say that Louis is indie and has always been indie with his full chest. That won't ever make it true. You can’t rewrite history.

[quietnade]

Is it really over?

So… is it really over? I’ve been asking myself that question a lot lately. Liam’s passing has left a mark on me that will never truly fade. I know this stab at my heart will take years, maybe even a lifetime, to heal. I tried to gather my thoughts and find a little comfort by writing the following down, and I hope you’ll find some comfort in it too.

🩷 The boys may no longer make music together, but does that mean the impact they made on us is gone? Of course not. The connection we have with their music and the memories we made will always be part of the “story of our lives.” Instead of seeing it as the end, let’s think of it as moving into a new era. We’ve grown, the boys have grown, and our love for them has grown in new ways too.

🩷 Yes, it’s true that the years won’t come back, but we can revisit them anytime through their music and memories.

🩷 We can immerse ourselves in the nostalgia without guilt. Maybe we’ll rewatch This Is Us, scroll through Tumblr pages, watch their video diaries, fan edits, or interviews.

🩷 One Direction wasn’t just another boy band, they were a feeling. They shaped an entire generation without even realizing it, while the boys were just having fun. In many ways, they taught us how to laugh, dream, and connect with a community. That energy is larger than life and still lives in us.

🩷 We can always celebrate their anniversaries. The boys’ birthdays, their X Factor debut, album releases, and in doing so, we’ll always feel how big a part of our lives they still are.

🩷 We can treat the boys’ solo careers as a new chapter in their One Direction story. Their voices and essence are still present in each of their solo projects. The boys are living happy lives, still living the dream they worked so hard for, and we’re happy for them with all our hearts.

🩷 This fandom will always be a part of us. The joy, hope, and excitement we felt as Directioners shaped who we are today, and that part of us is never gone, it never will be.

🩷 Not everyone gets to experience something as powerful as being part of a fandom like this. We’ve been part of something magical, and we’ll always wear it as a badge of honor, a kind of talisman of comfort, joy, warmth, and hope.

🩷 Yes, we love the boys, and yes, they were a huge part of our lives. But we have to remember that life goes on and we have to participate in it, finding new joys and interests. Our love for them doesn’t have to fade just because life moves on.

🩷 In our own little ways, we can make this world a better place, maybe for just one person, making their day slightly better than it could have been. Just like how Liam always tried to. Even the “little things,” small acts of kindness, can honor Liam’s legacy.

🩷 We can create art, write poetry, blogs, poetry, we can journal about how much One Direction meant to us growing up and how Liam’s passing has stirred these emotions.

🩷 Embracing our fangirl or fanboy side unapologetically is another way to honor them. We can dive back into our passionate ways of fangirling while connecting with other Directioners in spaces like this. Without judgment, we can share how we feel in these little 1D communities. We can even contribute to fan projects to deepen our connection with this wholesome fandom.

🩷 Personally, I wrote a letter to Liam in my journal, talking about how much I love him. I even confessed how guilty I felt for not following his solo career as closely as I could have. I’ll always carry Liam’s memory with me.

🩷 Instead of “holding on to heartbreak,” we can hold on to hope. Maybe the boys will reunite someday, but even if they don’t, we need to remember that, every time we listen to their songs, relive old memories, or talk to another Directioner, they really ARE reunited, in our eternally Directioner hearts. 💙💚❤️💛🤍

[indiaalphawhiskey]

Hi there. I was not a fan during LHH so I found your tags (agreeing with Gina's reply to an anon) interesting. I didn't realize that phase represented a rebellion for him. What else did he do to show his femme side during that period? Thanks!

Hey, love. I don’t have too much energy tonight, so I’m going to try and answer this as concisely as possible, but still give context.

Just to give a bit of personal background, I came into the 1D (not yet Larry, until about 4-5 months afterwards) fandom in 2015, right before Zayn left, so most of my observations are retrospective, vis-a-vis how I’m seeing the GP/hets react to LHH now.

So, at that point, Harry was already in his LHH era, but it had only gotten long enough that the GP were starting to notice it was purposeful and that he clearly was not planning to trim it/cut it back to Prince Hair. Since I was about 80-20 still in the GP, but was starting my 1D obsession, I had no one talk to about the boys except my IRL friends. And I remember distinctly that they were all convinced Harry was gay because of:

- LHH

- the patterned, unbuttoned polos

- his pretty “loud” affinity for YSL

- painting one nail or leaving one nail half painted

And to the lucky few in the know, also because of:

- the rumors that he was begged to wipe off his lipstick before a live taping of GMA, or so a CDAN blind said

As I delved further into fandom, I saw a broad and shallow part of discourse around all these things, but the loudest voices at the time (because I was on Twitter) were hets who were either: i) vehemently insisting he was ABSOLUTELY NOT gay or feminine or ii) being very vocal about how they were no longer attracted to him because of one or all of the reasons above.

Now, I know looking at both Harry and the world at present, none of the things I’ve listed seems remotely “femme” or earth-shattering, but again, this is where context matters.

It was 2015, so discussions regarding gender nonconformity were, in my humble experience, largely still limited to the LGBTQI+ community and had not made it into everyday, mainstream conversation yet. On top of that, Harry’s image was only just inching its way past the hyper teenage heartthrob frat boy phase but was only allowed to veer far enough that his style still “fit” with the rest of the boys and was designed to look more like the groups’ style maturing all together.

No one saw him as a fashion icon yet, because his image had been so carefully curated. So, when he came out wearing that black and white floral suit, standing next to the other boys, the statement read like rebellion, as opposed to him pushing the fashion envelope the way it does now.

Coupled with the fact that he was still, very much, seen as a member of a boyband, the GP didn’t see him growing his hair as any kind of homage or nod to Jagger or Lennon or Slash, because Harry’s image wasn’t at all in the realm of rock; he wasn’t even seen as a proper musician.

So if you put all those things together, you begin to see that growing his hair and painting his nails and dressing the way he did (as conservative as it may seem, compared to him now) was a big, big risk, considering how he was marketed, whom to, and the conversations that image of him was inspiring in those circles.

And that’s why, to me, LHH is one of the loudest, banging-on-the-glass-closetest eras of Harry there is, so it makes it very, very odd to see LHH characterized in Tiktoks as “Dark Harry”/the new “Fratboyrry”/het Harrie fantasy era.

[louisisalarrie]

what is your favorite thing about Harry and Louis individually?

this is a wholesome ask!! thank you anon 🧡

I’ll split this between boys and maybe give some love about Larry as a unit at the end too. Watch out, it’s gonna be a long one.

Louis: I love so much about this man. He is just so… interesting. There’s no one like him.

Watching him grow up over the years… wow. He’s so complex, has so many sides to him, and is a bit of a chameleon - being able to adjust into any social situation and being able to make friends with just about anyone, while still being himself. He’s so damn strong, and fights so hard for what he believes in and who he loves. He just is so caring and will throw himself under the bus solo over taking anyone down with him. He sacrifices himself for the ones around him, no matter what consequences that has.

Even without talking about Larry, you could tell he was immediately the natural leader of the band. He has everyone wrapped around his finger, but doesn’t take advantage of that (unless it’s for pranks hehe). He’s so very protective, and he fought against 1d’s team and Cowell hard. He threw himself into the wrath of that asshole, just to try and ensure the others had it easier. He didn’t care what that meant for him. Even if Cowell through him out of the band, which I’m sure he was close to multiple times, he’d rather that than the others take the blame or get into trouble (

Also, all the boys have stated how vital and strong he is, and how he truly grew into himself after being so shy and then just… blossoming. They were big parts of that, but Louis truly just.. took the reins, made the most of it, and tried so hard to see the best in things. Niall says here (3:10 onwards… ignore that shitty Aus interviewer, he’s fucking useless) about how Louis was self deprecating in an interview and he shouldn’t be hard on himself, because they all adore him and he’s an “extremely vital part of one direction”. Here’s Liam talking about how crucial Louis was to the band, and how he persevered without being the front man or singing a lot at the beginning, but he made the best decisions for the band and that leant him more into the business side of it all.

He’s an incredible writer, too. Truly just… very interesting with his genres. He brought 1d to a wider demographic and audience by not following the stock standard general boyband vibes, and gave them more maturity and edge and complexity by the end of it. While a lot was still collabs, he brought his own sound so strongly. You can TELL when it’s his writing, and that is such a special thing that a lot of artists haven’t been able to master.

While I do agree he has lost a fair bit of his flamboyancy and has quite a strong barrier around him (walls…) before truly letting people in, he’s done that simply to protect himself and that’s a really important and valuable thing to do, particularly when he’s always in the public eye, he learnt how to manage that appropriately to keep his personal life, and his heart, under armour.

He’s also just… cheeky as fuck. And the stories I was told about when he was in Aus… very funny. Very down to earth, loves indulging in some beers and smoking a J and I adore him.

Also, his vibe. Shit. He just… draws people in when they’re around him. While yes, I am a fan, even if I wasn’t and we’d made eye contact backstage like we did, I would’ve been frozen to the spot. He’s powerful, confident, a little cocky, but also soft, gentle, and caring. He’s also been through some rough hardships dealing with trauma and family/personal losses, but still comes out the other end. An incredibly strong human being.

Harry: Harry is… so layered as well. Both of these boys are very complex and I would put that down by having to hide, being controlled, and shoved in the public eye at a very young age. But Harry came out the other end a little differently than Louis did.

Harry has always been so open and caring, driven and focused, but also has an off switch as opposed to Louis. Behind the scenes, Harry drops the stage persona (which a lot of it is truly him, but you know what I mean), and comes back to himself. He calms down, and stays calm, and puts other people first and gives them plenty of space and privacy. He values his privacy so much, and values his personal life to a point that you can truly tell how genuine he is, and how much he doesn’t want to pull the people he really cares about into the spotlight to deal with the public like he has to.

He also is a different level of fame to Louis. Harry has his every move scrutinised and ogled at and yet he continues to be himself and wear whatever tf he wants to, and makes a statement. He’s very loud. He dances ridiculously and wears awful sparkly jumpsuits and writes a lot of songs that still pay homage to the 1d days. And also, career wise, you can tell when he chooses to make decisions for himself.

Releasing SOTT as a single, for example. That song should have (marketing wise) been an album song. It should’ve been about 3/4 through the album, to balance out the fun pop. It shouldn’t have been released as a first single to solidify his solo career, and I can guarantee he was advised against that. But he did it for himself. He didn’t do that shit for anyone else.

He also is just a giggly little cheeky mess. A natural flirt, who can be cocky and confident and grab whoever he’s talking to’s attention, just by looking at them. But in saying this, he genuinely cares about what people have to say when they’re talking with him. He makes a lot of eye contact, often stays quiet for a moment or two after someone has finished talking to give them the time to finish, but also to carefully consider what he’s about to say next. And yeah, you could put this down to media training, but he makes sure the other person is heard and has the platform to speak to him, like he’s just another guy. He is very genuine like that, and he makes people feel important by doing so.

He’s also a romantic. He looooves love and values it above all else, in my opinion. He also just loves freedom. To be who he is, to spread his wings, to be the centre of attention even though he doesn’t really mean to. To be himself. He truly doesn’t hide under a mask anymore (closeting aside).

And if you’ve been around forever, you can see he’s not queerbaiting or whatever tf. He just lets it loose on stage but doesn’t need to be that person all the time. He is far more quiet and shy and giggly than the media gives him credit for. He just… is himself off stage as well, but the more reserved side, because he gets it all out on stage and it’s the one place he can truly release that energy bc of his glass closet. He doesn’t have to pretend on stage, he doesn’t have a stunt gf all over him when he’s up there, he can just be that loud side of him that shows who he is. That shows how proud he is.

He’s a frontman, he loves performing, and takes the chance to again, make people feel important when they’re speaking to him. Like he truly does care. He listens to his fans in the crowd, spends a ridiculous amount of time talking to them, and values us for always being there and seeing through the bullshit of his image. He’s also very hardworking, as Niall says (3:25 onwards).

Larry: I mean… Jesus Christ. How lucky are those two to find each other? To form an instant connection and look at each other like that? God, even if you forget about the romance of it, just that deep and powerful connection, is definitely a form of soulmates for me. How happy they are together, how touchy feely (Louis is so physically affectionate and Harry loooooves it) they are, and how protective they are of each other.

Being shoved into a situation like 1d, is hard for any of those boys, and with closeting on top? God damn they fought hard. And Louis is, and always has been, so protective of Harry who is his baby hehe. So to be there and gently guide Harry, a naive and shy 16 year old, through the treacherous grounds that is the music industry, is extremely important and a bond for life.

The instant connection between them, the mirroring, the drawing each other in no matter how big the room is, the gentleness, the rowdiness, the love… god. Even if you don’t believe in larry, you see it between them. The connection was always there. And both Harry and Louis have fought so hard for it. They came out the other end stronger and more powerful than ever. They didn’t crack. They didn’t break. They supported each other and helped each other and held onto each other.

And that’s what true love really is about.

[5idoitsfromthestairs]

Today is the morning after Liam Payne passed. I had to call off work and meet with my therapist.

I thought I would share what my therapist and I talked about.

1D meant the world to me as a teen. I lived, breathed, and only thought about those boys, from when I first saw them on X Factor until they broke up. I still would listen to their music after they broke up but the fan girling wasn’t the same.

I followed their careers as time went by but I wasn’t obsessed anymore. Kinda like a little light and safe haven disappeared when they broke up.

I felt weird by the fact that I could not stop crying about Liam. He was my favorite for a long time. I felt like I was being dramatic having such a big reaction to someone who didn’t know who I was. Laying in bed last night I felt 13 again, lost and scared and using 1D to escape.

My therapist told me that this band formed me. I am the person I am today because of One Direction. There is no current me without them. Liam dying is traumatic for so many reasons. It is okay to grieve him. It is okay to cry. The feelings I am feeling are valid, I grew up with him. He is only 4 years older than me, it’s scary to see a peer pass so young. Though Liam didn’t know me, I “knew” him. For me Liam and the boys were my escape from the rest of the world.

Liam was someone I looked up to. I became the “mom friend” of my group because I like that he was that way. I never really got into drinking because Liam didn’t drink while touring. (Even though his was a medical thing). He was responsible, kind, funny, professional, talented, and loving. During the 1D days I wanted to be like him. I wanted people to think of me the way they thought of him.

My heart breaks for his friends, his family, his son, the rest of the band, and for other fans like me who stayed up late or got up early to watch 1D live and spent hours fan girling.

RIP Liam 💛

[1dmonthlyficroundup]

— 1D Monthly Fic Roundup —

Hi, and welcome to the 1D Monthly Fic Roundup for May 2023! Below you’ll find 1D fics that were all published this month in the order they were submitted to the blog. We hope you’ll check out these new fics! If you would like to submit your own fic, please check this post on how to submit or visit our blog @1dmonthlyficroundup​. You can find all our other posts here.

Happy reading!

＊ in this world, it's just us by larryftnoctrl / @the-larry-way [T, 2k, Louis/Harry]

Harry returns home from the Brits with his 4 awards happy and very drunk. Louis is super proud and extremely in love with his boy and more than happy to show it in any way he can.

＊ Bound by LadyAJ_13 / @ladyaj-13 [G, 619 words, Zayn/Liam]

Months should pass like hours for a vampire, but to Zayn they’ve felt endless. Now, finally, it has come.

The day he takes his consort.

＊ Bloom by LadyAJ_13 / @ladyaj-13 [T, 28k, Liam/Louis]

In early 1970s Oxford, Detective Sergeant Louis Tomlinson has to deal with the dual pressures of a case that hits too close to home, and the arrival of new colleague Liam Payne. Payne is both the bane of his existence and, uh... dangerous. Very dangerous. His eyes, that is. His lips. The way he stands.

A story of rain and cobblestones, cigarettes, and repression. And the sunshine after the storm.

＊ Digits for Daddy by larry_hiatus / @larry-hiatus [E, 5k, Louis/Harry]

Harry is back to being cheeky on stage, and this time he’s teasing his fans with his hands. He loves working the crowd, and he can’t help but watch as the cameraman shows his fingers on the big screen. Louis, however, is less than amused.

＊ Just a little taste by @lunarheslwt [G, 3k, Harry/Louis]

“Little dove,” Louis crooned, making Harry shiver a little, affected, “you’re shaking. Do you want to bite?” Harry stilled. He knew what Louis was asking. He knew Louis probably could sense how in dire need of comfort he was. He knew Louis was offering. And yet- “No,” he whispered, even as he felt the strong urge to let his lips trace the well-known path to the spot he usually bit into, “I could hurt you.” “Harry, my darling, you haven’t hurt me once in the numerous times you’ve needed to bite. Today will be no different. You know it’ll do you good.” Harry sucked his bottom lip between his teeth, torn. In the end, it was an offer he was too weak to resist. “So…do you want to? Little taste?” “Yeah,” Harry rasped out, “please.”

Or, Harry is a vampire that comes home one night, grappling with the darkness that comes with being one. Louis offers him unwavering love, acceptance and the one thing he needs but is reluctant to ask for; permission to bite for the sake of comfort and safety seeking.

＊ June by @neondiamond [G, 1k, Louis/Harry]

Louis and Harry pick a paint colour for their new daughter’s room.

＊ Blow the Banana by larry_hiatus / @larry-hiatus [E, 5k, Louis/Harry]

The last leg of Harry’s tour has started up, and he has kicked things off with a bang and a banana that someone threw on stage. He wasn’t planning on unpeeling it and giving the fans a cheeky show, but when they chanted that he should eat it, he couldn’t resist his sensual ways. Louis, of course, needed to punish him for it later.

＊ Hold Me How the Deep Night Has by @crochetsunsets [E, 48k, Harry/Louis]

Louis Tomlinson needs a change. Stuck in a cycle of going to the job he hates, spending time with his friends, and avoiding the one man he hates most in this world, Louis' in desperate need of something new. So when he discovers an abandoned notebook on the way to work, the decision is easy to take it for himself and begin a journal amidst the empty pages. What can't be expected are the words that appear overnight directly beside his own, written on the same day 400 years in the past. What are the consequences of a magical connection between two men of different centuries? And who, among it all, is the mysterious E who only exists on the other side of Louis' journal?

or What happens when love transcends time itself.

＊ That's The Way Love Goes by red_PANdaaa28 / @red-pandaaa [M, 8k, Louis/Harry]

For the last eleven months, there had been someone missing though. As Louis stared at the empty spot usually reserved for Liam, he realised it had almost been a year since they had been all five together.“Hey.” Harry nudged him gently in the ribs. As always, he was on the same wavelength as Louis; instantly knowing where his mind had wandered to. “He’ll come around eventually.” Louis nodded, taking a deep breath and plastered on a smile.

OR Liam is going through a break up. Louis remembers.

＊ seven, seven by @nouies [NR, 1k, Harry/Louis]

“Hello, baby girl,” Harry says as soon as the nurse places the bundle of joy into his arms. “We’ve been dying to meet you.”

＊ (now I realize that the world outside) it's bigger than me by we_are_the_same / @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed [T, 3k, Louis+Liam friendship fic]

It starts with a phone call from Liam.

“Lou,” it sounds urgent, the way that Liam gets when he’s worried, and Louis sits up straighter, conditioned to that tone even when he had hated it the first few years in the band.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, his brain immediately trying to play catch up, wondering where his keys are and if he can get away with leaving the house without a shower, because it doesn’t matter how long it’s been, it doesn’t matter how much physical distance there is between them, if any of his boys call and need him he’ll be there in a heartbeat. Or as soon as he can, at least.

“Did you mean to post that to your public account?”

Or: Louis accidentally comes out

＊ When it's good it's really something by @enchantedlandcoffee [E, ~1k, Louis/Harry]

Louis managed to lose himself in the sensation, his casual strokes quickening with purpose as his other hand clenched the duvet with his fist. He tried to muffle his groans slightly, still listening out for movement from downstairs. As his eyes flicked over to the clock, the bedroom door was pushed open to reveal a sweaty Harry, joggers riding even lower on his hips and two bottles of water in his hands. Harry’s eyes raked down Louis’ body, lingering on Louis’ hand and obvious erection. “You started without me?!” A pout formed on the younger boy’s face as he placed the drinks on the dresser, his eyes never leaving Louis’ body. “Took too long,” Louis breathed, throwing his head back with a soft moan as his hand quickened its pace.

Series Part 2 of Can We Please Get Back To Lovin'?

＊ If the world was ending, you'd come over, right? by @enchantedlandcoffee [T, 6k, Harry/Louis]

"Is Harry with you?" Louis blurted out, his free hand tapping anxiously against his knee. "Louis?" "Yeah. Is Harry with you?" On any other occasion, Louis knew Niall would have yelled at him for calling in the middle of the night. But Niall must've sensed the urgency in his tone, his voice immediately taking on a lighter touch. "Yeah. Yeah, he's been staying in the spare room. Why? Do you want me to get him for you?" "No!" Louis panicked. "Just- check on him please? Make sure he's breathing and everything?"

＊ i still wanna dance with you by @justanothershadeofblue [T, 6k, Louis/Harry]

The first time Louis Tomlinson sees Harry Styles, he thinks Harry is the prettiest girl he’s ever seen. Long brown curls cascade past gently curved shoulders; big green eyes with long lashes blink up at him above a full, pink mouth. There’s a pile of clover in Harry’s lap where he’s plaiting a flower crown, and it’s not till Harry speaks, smiling shyly, that Louis realizes his mistake.

＊ Come All Ye by @justanothershadeofblue [E, 6k, Harry/Louis]

Come all ye rolling minstrels And together, we will try To rouse the spirit of the earth And move the rolling sky

It's the summer of 1971, and Louis just wants to get out of town for a minute or a day. When his buddy Zayn says they should head down south and check out this radical new music festival, Louis is only too happy to agree.

＊ Flowers in the Window by @justanothershadeofblue [M, 33k, Louis/Harry]

He’d fought with Harry; one last, angry, drag-out fight. Harry’d called him provincial and afraid; he’d shouted back that Harry was self-centered and ambitious. They hadn’t come to blows, but it had been a near thing - Harry had stormed out of the pub, barely remembering his guitar and forgetting his hat. Louis had gritted his teeth and finished his pint before striding out into the damp and windy night, letting the wet breeze hide the frustration that seeped down his cheeks.   Now he lies listening to the voices in the wind as it howls in the space between his own house and Harry’s. The narrow gap that had always seemed non-existent throughout their childhoods now feels like a chasm in the darkness of the night, something opening between them too far to be bridged, too deep to be forded.   Harry is a lonely and depressed popstar who sailed out of his hometown on Eroda years ago to chase his dreams. He comes back to the island only to find his shining childhood best friend Louis just as cold and dreary as the island they grew up on.

Series Part 2 of ocean tides you home

＊ Hard to Handle by larry_hiatus / @larry-hiatus [E, 3k, Louis/Harry]

Harry can't resist the chance to make a good joke, especially on stage in front of his fans. It just so happens that this one was dirty, the words “hard and fast” falling from his lips with a cheeky grin. It’s not until he gets to his dressing room that his dom Louis reminds him just how hard and fast things can get.

＊ Together We're the Greatest by @hellolovers13 [E, 4k, Harry/Louis]

“How the fuck does this always happen to you?” Louis huffed, pulling Harry's limp body into the half fallen apart car he'd borrowed for this. Well, he didn't intend to give it back, really, but insurance covered theft, did it not? And this thing was basically held together with duct tape and good faith, so really, the former owners should thank him for taking it off their hands.

It's not the first time Louis has to stitch Harry back together, but Louis will make sure it is the last.

＊ Captain Cupid by @2tiedships2 [NR, 15k, Louis/Harry]

“Right,” Niall started, finally getting the opportunity to unleash his horrible plan. “Well, as you both know, I’m an excellent matchmaker. A human Cupid.The best of the best at finding one's mate. And I’ve decided it’s time to make money doing it.”

“Oh, God no,” Louis groaned, picking up his empty plate and placing it in the sink. He needed to escape as quickly as possible.

Or the one where Niall enlists his friends to help start a speed dating side hustle. Things don't go as planned... or maybe they do?

＊ Tip of the Tongue by larry_hiatus / @larry-hiatus [E, 4k, Louis/Harry]

Harry can’t control what his fans do while he’s on stage, so when some of them started spraying water on him, he did the only logical thing and stuck his arms and tongue out, embracing the impromptu shower. The person who doesn’t embrace the action is Louis, who decides to give Harry a few showers of his own and remind the boy what is tongue is good for.

＊ Cowboy Like Me by Rearviewdreamer / @all-these-larrythings [M, 29k, Harry/Louis]

Going legit and starting over in a small town was supposed to solve all of Harry’s problems. That was until a string of robberies in wealthy towns brings him face-to-face with his rouge ex-partner and their dicey, unresolved past.

＊ take me back, take me back by eynap / @panye [E, 32k, Niall/Shawn Mendes]

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ,” Niall says. He puts his head between his hands. “How is this happening?”

“I didn’t want to say anything,” Harry says. “I wanted you to figure it out on your own.”

“You think I like Shawn, too?” Niall asks and he’s shocked. “If anyone is supposed to tell me that I’m gay it’s supposed to be my gay best friend!”

Or, Niall invites his new friend Shawn to Zayn and Liam's three-day wedding in Napa Valley, California. He gets way more than he expected.

＊ Five Zero Five by Stria / @nooradeservedbetter [E, 2k, Louis/Harry]

“So,” says Harry, and his fingers trail on Louis’ jaw, over his exposed neck. “I heard your cover tonight. Arctic Monkeys, really nice.” His fingers linger on Louis’ neck, stroke the Adam’s apple.

(Or, they told us all they have a choking kink.)

＊ Shame the Schlong by larry_hiatus / @larry-hiatus [E, 5k, Louis/Harry]

Harry was forced to behave on stage when his mom was in the audience of one of his shows. Because of his this, he was sure that he hadn’t given his dom Louis a reason to punish him after the concert. A cheeky photo taken before Harry goes back to the hotel, however, has him in for a surprise.

[caralara]

I know Louis' your fave so I hope it's okay that I send you this. But recently the blinkers have been coming off for me in regards to Louis. I think I used to have him up on a bit of a pedestal. I just thought he was this really intelligent guy, really aware of social issues and willing to fight for the right thing and be rebellious when necessary. I don't know. I saw things playing out very differently. But unfortunately, lately, I've been seeing a lot of laziness and complacency and a willingness to settle from him. A lot of contradictions as well. Like he gets the anarchist symbol tattooed but doesn't speak out or place his support behind anything substantial. I'm sorry, legalizing weed is his most political stance. And then being seen with the Starbucks cup and actually covering it in the video like lmao. Not knowing what number year your festival is when he supposedly had big dreams for it. I know this is so small but it irks me that he's been going on about playing the guitar for years. And he is yet to bring it on stage for even one song! I know it comes from a place of self-doubt and insecurity no matter how confident he makes himself appear but like he just doesn't help himself. And fans exaggerating and praising every little thing he does as if he isn't just some basic white man does my head in. Sorry I word vomited on you and I know this sounds harsh but I acknowledge it comes from a bitter place where I feel like his potential is just not being met. At the end it's his life and I genuinely hope he doesn't have many regrets later on.

hi babe

I think I am completely in the same situation as you! I might not be triggered by exactly the same things but I’ve been going over and over it for the last couple days asking myself why I’m so annoyed with him right now?? And I think it really is just the disappointment finding out your fave man is after all, just a man.

Like, to me, it feels like he’s been stagnant since early 2023. right now, to me it feels like he’s just on the hunt for the cheap thrill, getting the validation in that he also can pull massive crowds of screaming girls just like he did during 1D (and it isn’t even the actual validation he’s looking for??? Like he still starts yapping every time a man validates him as if it’s so much more important??)

I feel like he lost focus, or energy, or both. You know, you said it!! You know I love Louis to death, he’s my favourite, and genuinely, I don’t blame him. It makes a lot of sense to me. He’s finally proven himself to not be a flop to all the people doubting him. He’s overcome all the obstacles, did LTWT and had massive success with it, way beyond anyone expected, rode that wave, made a second album that proved he’s not a one hit wonder either, an album he actually enjoyed making, and proved his fans liked it, too. And then… it just kind of stagnated. His team made mistakes and miscalculations. Announcing Asia tour so short notice thinking, then cancelling bc it didn’t sell out, handling the announcements horribly, not realising LTWT was massive bc of all the pent up excitement and desire throughout years of a pandemic, the magnetism of it being the first solo world tour. They also didn’t get it when it came to Milano Summer fest vs. AFHF. The 35k sold out bc it was announced many months in advance and it was the last LTWT show - that’s meaningful to fans. It was easily accessible. You can’t translate just the numbers to „it’s bc he’s popular in Italy,“ there’s so many factors at play they ignored, and therefore AFHF Italy only sold 2/3 of tickets, and a lot of these people didn’t even show up (couldn’t, I better say).

For me, FITF felt like he had checked out a little. He’s plateauing. The excitement and irresistible draw he has is largely due to his resilience, his underdog persona he created that allows normal people to identify with him. And there just wasn’t any… growth since early 2023. He‘s also alienated a large part of his fandom with the bbg pushes, and as you know, I still believe it was all part of the bigger plan to end it, but it does feel like he gave up, got comfortable. And it’s not that I blame him for it necessarily?? Like all he’s been through? It makes a lot of sense to me that now he’s achieved all the things people told him he wouldn’t be able to achieve, that now the burn out sets in, that now, the driving energy of spite and wanting to prove himself has run out.

I feel like the jokes of “oh I’m a pothead I can’t remember if it’s the third or fourth edition of my super duper important close to my heart festival project” or “oh yeah sometimes I forget I’m an actual parent and have a kid” are getting old. Like, it doesn’t serve him anymore it feels like? To me it feels like the weed was a coping mechanism that helped him get through hard times, and that’s completely valid, but now it looks like to me it’s holding him back, blurring his genius.

I’m sorry for the rant back to you. I’m deeply upset because Louis is my escape, my happy place, fandom is my comfort, and I feel like it’s slipping through my fingers because it causes me more upset than happiness at this point. The amount of “kill yourself” messages I have gotten over criticising louis for announcing AFHF so short notice is frankly INSANE. Do people not talk to other people in real life?? How do the people around these people that send those messages deal with them in real life?? It’s so upsetting to see how many people feel comfortable typing out these kind of messages and sending them.

I do hope this feeling of mine calms down, and I can go back to just glorifying louis and have him as my comfort place, because I do not like the thoughts I have and the way it makes me feel.

[twopoppies]

heyy, i think my ask got lost but:

regarding the rob stringer ask that you answered, i was wondering why is rob stringer such a big deal.? also, this kinda got me intrigued, curious and angry(blacklisting of louis from uk radio) so i went on to research for myself and i fumbled upon this article: https://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-51360192

it was the very first article that showed up, i didn't even need to dig, and it's directly by BBC, so is this BBC not the same as BBC radio or what..?

it's a little confusing for me cuz in my country nobody really pays any mind to radios and what they are playing and we usually stay tuned to our fave artists via tv shows, social media or simply music apps etc etc

Hi love. Rob Stringer is “a big deal” because he was head of Columbia when 1D were together and then head of Sony (parent company of Columbia) when Harry went solo (and Louis got stuck with Syco). So he’s had his fingers all over whatever contracts were signed by all of the guys, and most likely had plenty of decision making power over the closeting of HL and the blocking of Louis’ solo career.

BBC Radio and BBC TV are both divisions of the British Broadcasting Company. Louis having that disastrous interview on the Morning Show wasn’t the beginning of his being blocked from BBC radio. I think his blacklisting and image damage extends as far back as XFactor and Simon Cowell. There are many people involved and I don’t know if you can really point a finger at Simon or Rob Stringer and say that’s this is the key person responsible for it all. But, him appearing on that show and that article being written is just part of a very complex pattern of abuse he’s been subject to.

As for radio being important… I really don’t know why it seems to make a difference. I do think being nominated for The Brits or The Grammys doesn’t have without radio airplay and even if we know The Grammys are bullshit, it’s still great advertising and it’s still seen as prestigious in that you’re “accepted” by the music industry insiders.

But I think when people complain about him being blacklisted, they mean that he’s almost entirely absent from everything—radio for sure, but also radio concert events like Jingle Bell Ball/Summertime Ball, British talk shows like Graham Norton etc., British award shows (even the Rolling Stone UK award show was tainted by his performance being removed and his interview being publicized using Harry’s name).

I don’t buy into a lot of the stuff some solo fans talk about in terms of Louis’ career blockades, but for an artist who has such an ardent fanbase to be shut out of so many ways of advancing his career, you can’t help but assume there’s something underhanded happening.

[zot3-flopped]

Then I look at Harry, who must have been seeing everywhere, day after day, that he was the one with ‘it’, that he was the beating heart of the band //

I agree with this anon. That’s why it’s so fucking annoying how Harry fans act like he’s stupid when he struggles to communicate. “The movie feels like a movie thing” That killed me because it’s like he was trying to find positives for what seems like an overall problematic film. He wanted to express his darker side for once in that movie and sadly that opportunity wasn’t the best for him. That doesn’t make him stupid because he doesn’t know how to express complex feelings around a topic that really harmed his image that he worked very hard to construct. I explain mid days to people as “I’m here right” “it’s a workday” how’s that different from “a movie that feels like a movie”

Harry as he’s even said “I was awake at the start of the world.” He’s so much deeper than so many people see or give him credit for and it’s part of the thing that makes him shine and seem more than human, it’s his light and that comes from the soul. He works to build himself as a human and that’s why we can all grow with him.

He did get the piss taken out of him for years, you can see him shut down in so many interviews because people don’t let him talk, talk over him, or don’t understand him. So much promo for four he is just so shut down. You can see it in his eyes. I remember being a fan at the time and feeling so sad for him. He was so obviously depressed and heartbroken, and that has been confirmed by the stuff he wrote in his first album or for his first album “I’m not happy” anyone?

He may shine but let’s not act like 1D wasn’t toxic and abusive, that he wasn’t sexualized as a young teenager and disgustingly so with ties to the Larry shit that is still harassing them to this fucking day. He has been viciously stalked by people and paps and he still does his job. Just because you can thrive in a toxic environment doesn’t mean you are toxic, it means you are resilient, because the core of who you are is strong enough to push you through. And then people talk about how he’s media trained and that’s why he answers how he does, not that he’s actually a good person who is nervous when he’s speaking publicly and who feels comfortable in certain topics. Or as someone with obvious deep and complex trauma.

Letdown blog I found years ago and always hated how far they had to reach to try to make him seem shitty when really he’s always been doing the best he can with what he has and who he’s with. Everyone who thinks so poorly of his team that’s been with him for years piss me off too. Like yeah they’re industry people but they’ve also helped him become a Grammy winning global artist. Jeff isn’t perfect but he’s also not his father and it’s shitty for people to always shit on his family, friends and partners. He already struggles to feel good enough (again shown in so many songs) and knowing that anyone he loves will be abused is horrible. He may not be the abuser but he’s the cause of it and he knows it.

I could go on and on about his suffering but he doesn’t seem to want to dwell. I just wish people saw him with the nuance that is so obviously there. But maybe deep recognizes deep and they can’t see the truth because they haven’t done enough self work to see clearly.

Interesting thoughts.

By 'it's a movie that feels like a movie' he didn't mean that the film was 'problematic', though. He meant it felt like a good old fashioned movie, filmed on location with costumes and a big cast, rather than the green screen acting he did for Marvel.

[apureniallsource]

Niall Horan tends to greet strangers with a compliment — which would be charming enough even if it weren’t delivered in a rich Irish accent and from the smiling mouth of an international pop star. “Love the glasses!” he cheers over Zoom, before eyeing my jacket: “And that, too!” I’m far from the only recipient of such warmth: In videos archived across the last 14 years, Horan greets loyal fans like old friends, eager to see them again, and treats journalists with a reverence that never comes across as hollow. Return the favor and he’ll hit you with cheeky bashfulness, like an exemplary student of the music industry’s best media training.

In 2023, Horan is far from his bottle-blond days spent in the world’s biggest boy band, One Direction, but the honest wholesomeness that made him America’s onetime favorite member and inspired some equally deranged and delightful memes (like the one that goes, “Imagine Niall Horan crawling inside your ear. You tell him to stop but he is in there”) still remains. And lately, everyone seems to want a piece of it, from world leaders — in March, he performed for President Joe Biden and Taoiseach Leo Varadkar at a White House event — to the millions of people who watch The Voice, where Horan serves as a coach and recently guided his mentee Gina Miles to the top prize. The Voice marks his first time working as a competition-show judge, but not his first time appearing on such a program: One Direction famously finished third on the United Kingdom’s X Factor in 2010 before going on to forever reshape boy bands as we know them.

For Horan — who will release his third album, The Show, on Friday — joining The Voice meant reconnecting with his 16-year-old self: the ambitious and courageous teen who toldThe X Factor judges back in 2010 that he was “ready to fill arenas around the world” before having sung a note. No wonder he was the first one selected for 1D after the boys were put together following their solo eliminations. (On the recent dearth of big pop groups, Horan thinks the future is all about the ladies: “I love Blackpink. All four of them have such individual personalities. That’s what made people love them.”) “I didn’t have anxieties then,” Horan laughs. “I was just having a great time.” That informs the advice he gives contestants. “On The Voice, you see a lot of technical singers who are very serious about what they do,” he says. “I’m just trying to get them to enjoy what they’re doing. You’re on one of the bigger shows in the country. Millions of people watch every night. Enjoy it.”

If there was any hesitancy in joining The Voice, an arena so similar to the one that kick-started it all for him, it was that he “wasn’t sure [if] it was going to be an overproduced thing where I get told what to do, say, and when to turn.” He smiles. “It’s absolutely not.”

Who can blame him for wanting some semblance of control? In the 1D days, cleanliness clauses threatened career consequences for any unsavory behaviors, and the band’s sheer popularity meant limited freedoms, a life of stalling in vans or rolling deep with security. “I couldn’t really go many places,” he says. “So I try to keep my private life as private as I possibly can. There’s a tendency in the world to take your arm off when you offer a handshake, you know what I mean?” He pauses. “But I’m not hiding.”

Niall Horan’s story is a master class in manifestation. The first voice in the 2013 documentary One Direction: This Is Us is his: “When I was small, I had a desk. It was weird because I wrote on it, ‘When I grow up, I want to be a singer,’” he says. “I scribed it in! It’s still on the desk.” Born and raised in Mullingar, Ireland, the only member of his group not from England, Horan describes his childhood self as both a prankster and a natural performer — he’d get in trouble for singing traditional Irish songs in the back of geometry class, embodying the same kind of irreverent playfulness that came to define 1D. (There’s a moment in the doc where Horan reveals he recorded “What Makes You Beautiful,” One Direction’s breakout hit, in his boxers, and another where he puts on prosthetics to disguise himself as arena security, unbeknownst to fans.)

One Direction sold 70 million albums and filled arenas and stadiums around the world before going on hiatus in 2016, but solo success wasn’t preordained. Horan’s first single, “This Town,” an acoustic slow burn, performed modestly but didn’t make it past the Top 20 in the United States. The funky follow-up “Slow Hands,” inspired by Eagles member Don Henley’s solo work, righted the ship. (Horan now calls Henley a close friend: “He’s always been very big on me being myself, not trying to chase anything that doesn’t exist — and he’s always there if I want to send him something and get a reaction,” he says.) Horan talks about the song with an air of relief. “The success of ‘Slow Hands’ and the first album felt like a big moment,” he says. “And the first tour — learning I can go around the world and still play to thousands.”

Another curveball came three years later, when he released his second album, the synth-pop-flavored Heartbreak Weather, on March 13, 2020 — the day the United States declared COVID-19 a national emergency. It was “a kick in the stomach,” as he describes it. “I was, like everyone, angry at the world for allowing this to happen,” he says. “And then the stillness took over for a second.”

Today, it’s hard to fight the impulse to eye-roll when celebrities talk about the pandemic, but Horan believes he, like everyone else, has been irrevocably changed by it. “I think I might be the eternal optimist,” he says. “I hadn’t had any time off in 10 years. I [thought I] might as well get fit and put the suitcase away in the closet for a little bit. Because at that point, my life was so rat race-y.” He spent his days working out, playing golf, and getting really into Formula 1. (Ask for his favorite driver, and he’ll give you the most Niall response of all time: “I’m a fan of nearly all of them.”) “The pandemic was horrific,” he says, but also: “It was boring! As a guy that travels the world on a regular basis, I was so bored.”

So he got to work on a new album sooner than he planned, writing the majority of The Show in Joshua Tree, without the kind of illicit substances musicians may be inclined to experiment without in the desert. (“No, jeez! No. Thankfully not,” he laughs.) The Show is Horan at his most adventurous, a kaleidoscope of pop-rock sounds of decades past, amped up for arena-sized grandeur. “I’m not just the fella with the acoustic guitar all the time,” he laughs. “I put my neck on the line.” The lustful track “On a Night Like Tonight,” for instance, starts off with a dreamy singer-songwriter intro before detouring into anthemic prog-rock — like Muse doing ’90s Britpop. “If you asked me to release a song like that seven years ago, I would’ve laughed in your face,” he says. “I’ve grown into it a bit. I gave myself permission. It’s probably not what people are expecting of me — and here’s my fingers crossed as tight as you can possibly get them.”

He describes the album as tackling “big life thoughts,” not just the kind you have after history-altering world events but also the ones on your mind as you approach your 30s. The first song he wrote for The Show was the title track, an ode to the gratitude he felt in a time of deep unrest. “You have to swim through the sh*t water to get to the clear stuff,” he explains. “Everything will be OK if you just see it out.” During the pandemic, he couldn’t help but think about how much better life was before, and how he should be thankful for it — or, at the very least, that he’s got to learn to take the good with the bad. The chorus goes like this: “If everything was simple, how would we know / How to fix your tears / How to fake a show / How to paint a smile / Yeah, how would we know / How good we have it, though?” “There’s a façade to most people,” Horan says, addressing the “how to fake a show” line. It’s not about going through the motions at a concert, but about the everyday performance of being a person. “I’m not saying we’re all going around faking everything, but there are parts of yourself you don’t give away.” He pauses. “I’m finding it hard to explain… In some ways, you’re always trying to be the best version of yourself.”

When Horan talks, he often punctuates vulnerabilities with a joke or a folksy aphorism. “The phrase in Ireland is ‘if you don’t laugh, you’ll cry,’” he laughs. But he doesn’t veer away from the hard stuff in song. “Meltdown,” the second single from The Show, was written as a balm for someone having an anxiety attack: “When it all melts down, I’ll be there,” he sings to the sufferer in the song’s chorus. “It’s at 180 BPM, which is a good representation of the heart rate [when beating fast],” he says, “but I also like to have a silver lining in my music.” (While he says he experiences anxiety on occasion, contrary to previous reports, he does not have severe OCD. “That got misconstrued,” he clarifies. “I’m not saying I’m fully OCD. [...] I’ve definitely had overwhelming moments.”)

When he does experience anxiety, he has a few grounding tactics. “I literally say to myself, ‘It’ll all be over in a few minutes. It’ll all be over in a few minutes.’ The thing to do in that scenario is try and keep yourself as calm as possible, and tell yourself that it will all be OK,” he says. “And weirdly enough, most of the time, it turns out OK.” Get this man a Calm app endorsement deal, stat.

That unrelenting optimism is a core facet of his personality. “I’ve always been like that: ‘This is sh*t, but I’m sure it’ll be OK soon,’” he says. But it perhaps accounts for just how well-adjusted he seems after going through the boy-band ringer and half a lifetime in the spotlight. He’s never been at the center of controversy, with the exception of dropping a curse here and there as a teen, which he does so now judiciously. (Recently, Horan enjoyed a pint of beer in a Guinness-branded documentary with singer Lewis Capaldi and was shown getting into a car and driving. His mum came to his defense, saying it was a nonalcoholic beverage. The debate ended there.) Even when I half-jokingly ask for his opinion on cults, a nod to The Show ballad “You Could Start A Cult,” he laughs. “It definitely worked as a metaphor for me! I don’t… no strong views on cults. At least, no public ones.”

That song, as he tells it, is about being so in love with someone that if they started a cult, you’d follow them into it. Is he madly in love right now? “That’s dead right.” He doesn’t mention his longtime girlfriend, account manager Amelia Woolley, by name because “if everyone knew everything, [my songwriting] wouldn’t be as candid, would it?” he says. “There’d be all these theories, and I’m not in town for that. I’m here to write what’s on my brain, and love happens to be one of those things that’s flying around me.”

Horan is staying accessible to fans in other ways, fully embracing the expectations of being a very famous person: He’s dropping skin care routines and goofing around on TikTok. This summer, he’s making his way across the festival circuit — good practice for 2024, when he’ll launch into the biggest solo tour of his career to date, which includes a headlining spot at Madison Square Garden, 12 years after 1D did the same. After a few disruptive years, he’s returned to the lifestyle that feels like home, now as a veteran professional and soloist in his own right. He’s the same nice guy, just with some life experience. And he’s enjoying the ride: “Looking at arenas full of people — it’s the best view in the world.”

[alarrytale]

I think that when a fan of 12 years is about to give up, because there isn't anything there for them to be a fan of or to support, it should be taken seriously. It's a sign they're losing their core fanbase.

Even as a Larry I will never understand this! I’ll almost first and foremost be here for their music, not because of Larry! I became a fan because of their music, not because of a relationship we have never had confirmed was real. Yes I do believe it’s real and that they are still together, but even if it wasn’t and even when they don’t give me signs of that relationship I’m here for their music and their art, not because of who they date. If people are only here for the relationship, then in my opinion they are bound to be disappointed, because H&L don’t owe us anything but their music and their art.

I've talked about this many times before, but i firmly reject the notion that they don't owe us anything. They do. We're in a symbiotic relationship, where they get our support, money and engagement (free promo) and they give us content.

How do you define content though? I have paid for and consumed 3 amazing Harry albums and 3 amazing Louis albums. I have paid for and consumed 4 Harry shows and 2 Louis shows. I listen almost daily to all of their albums and watch and enjoy videos I took from my concerts. Their music has given me so much enjoyment. I can’t wait to see what is next from Harry, and hope after an equally long break we will get something great from Louis. They are musical artists and what they owe us is their best efforts.

I’m a Larry since 2011. I’m sad we will never see an OT5 reunion. I’m sad that there doesn’t seem to be any move towards a more open relationship. But that’s not contingent on my support. I love their music and that is the content they provide, that I happily pay for.

I know as original 1D fans, we were fed constant content. And that was fun but that type of engagement can’t last forever. It never does. I would love a big splashy coming out article. But I’m not owed it because of my support of their careers. I get that you feel differently, just wanted to say my peace on this topic.

All of the guys have had changes to their fanbases as time has gone on and it’s been interesting to see over the years. I’ve been here since 2013. I still firmly believe they’re together but I’ve always sort of been in Louis’ lane so if my mind ever changed it wouldn’t really affect my musical choice or support for him. I like Harry as a person but his current music just doesn’t speak to me like HS1 & FL so I wasn’t able to support Harry’s house, etc. For me their music exceeds any relationship they may or may not have because I choose to focus on their careers as musicians firstly. Not saying people have to do that, but I find that more and more people are shifting to that thought process.

The line isn’t so clear anymore between Larry & anti. There are ex-Larries who don’t know what to call themselves anymore so they just go with neutral because they don’t care either way but that’s not even an all encompassing term.

You have the ex-Larries making it their mission to debunk Larry lore and label Larries a cult, Larries who believe F is Louis’ son, conspiracy theory Larries who are trying to fight the music industry and try to link even the most obscure things (no stunts), other Larries who don’t want to be associated with no stunts, solos, OT4/5, Larries who think they broke up but still ship Larry and the list goes on and on. A Twitter post was going around for a bit with a graph of where your beliefs fall regarding Larry. And honestly I was shocked seeing all the different answers. My point is I guess that Larry has evolved into all of these shades of gray currently and things aren’t so black & white anymore so their support is based less on Larries than it was previously. Harry’s fanbase reached casual listeners and built a solid fanbase outside of Larry for a while and now Louis has also built himself a solid fanbase not based solely on Larries. Seems like his casual listeners are growing a bit more also after people discovering him more. And yes there seems to be a bit of Larry resurgence happening at the moment since Liam’s passing but thats probably not going to last. I don’t want to seem like a Debbie downer here, I’m just noticing more of a shift of focus to their music vs a relationship in regards to the very diverse fandom now. 130k+ people on twitter in mere hours showing support of F being Louis’ son with just a pic of F alone was not on my bingo card but that’s a just an example of how things have changed around here.

Hi, anon! (Yes, i believe you are the same anon, because i doubt i got three larries referring to themselves as "a larry" in a row making the same arguments...)

First off. Some people come into this fandom as larries, without knowledge (or interest) in 1D's music or their solo music. They're just larries. You are no worse or better fan for also loving their music and ventures. I came into this fandom as a larrie first, and then found 1D's music. It's okay to be here just for larry and not here for their career and music. It's okay to be a fan of them as people and want freedom and a coming out for them, and want them to help change the music industy and be role models for their queer fans. Some fell in love with larry and their story, because they're queer themselves. Some are here because larry is a romantic love story that captures people, and unites people. Some are just here waiting for larry to come out and tide themselves over by reading fics and answering a bunch of asks or contributing to the community or fandom in other ways. It's okay to not be here for the music.

Even if you are here for the music, please understand and respect that not everyone is like you. And they do owe us, i'm not going into that discourse again.

Second. About defining what content is. I think people define that differently, because fans are different. Some people need albums and tours, others need tabloid articles, social media fan service or just about anything that will engage fandom and have us talking for days. Some don't need content from the boys, because they're happy with the content fandom or the community creates. I'm happy you are enjoying their albums and tours (3 Louis albums?) and that a coming out isn't contingent on your support. If i didn't think they were coming out at a point in time, i would be out of here a long time ago lol. So me and you are very different.

Third. Yes, the fandom is fractioned. Larries are also fractioned. It's because there is less tolerance and respect for other people's opinions, and it's impossible to debunk stuff and correct wrong information when everyone is spread over different social media. Nobody does research anymore and makes masterpost, putting things together in order to paint a picture everyone can agree on. But it's also a big misconseption that we larries have a hive mind and used to believe in the same things. We never did.

Since it's so hard to debunk things, and explain 14 years of history to 14 year olds on tiktok, you get 130k likes on a F pic. People are gaslighted, because they weren't around when H and L more explicitly fought the fake narratives. Explaining it to them in a way they'll understand takes effort and energy no veteran will bother with. The new fans will forget it by the next gaslighting attempt from lthq and hshq. So it's useless work. So i'm kind of just like sitting here watching them being wrong, coming to the wrong conclusions and using debunked information as a foundation for their beliefs. It's frustrating, but it is what it is i guess. They'll figure it out at some point when they get older.

As long as you believe larry is real, L is not a father and that H and L wants to come out, you're good in my book. The rest is just details of no importance.

[onesweetworld18]

Oh man oh man, where to even START with reliving last night? It was everything I could’ve hoped for Louis and more. When he said FITF was written for the live show he knew he was touring big venues. The songs actually come to life in these places. Even songs like “Angels Fly” which is definitely a slower song had such power and force.

The setlist was expertly crafted and has his own personal “b stage” set where he just pours his heart and soul and RAINBOWS on the floor.

Steve as a musical director is so good. When they eventually get back together I hope he’s doing the MD because the versions of the songs he crafts are so layered and have so much depth.

Michael has more solos and I love that man.

The band continues to sound so great together and you can tell they’re used to playing together for a while.

We ACTIVELY avoided the setlist and I’m so glad that we did. As @crinkle-eyed-boo said, “it is our birthright as people at the first show to be surprised.” And man, you can’t recapture the chaos, excitement, and joy it was hearing all the songs for the first time. Back to You and WDBHG are such surprises and perfect additions to the setlist. The fact that Louis didn’t write WDBHG and still saw that it was a great addition to the set? Genius energy. I had heard Night Changes before so I knew it when it started, but many people didn’t until he started singing it. The energy and fan reaction when he started that? It could’ve powered a small country.

I am not an avid arctic monkeys fan so I didn’t know 505, but I was VERY MUCH in the minority. People got as excited for that as the 1D songs. It sounds great with his voice and I’d like to hear it again.

He OWNED that stage and that crowd all night. Everyone knew every word and were into the whole show. The crowd was much younger than I thought it would be but they were super into it. Thank god everyone was SINGING and not screaming. That might add to the sound, but I didn’t pay to hear Mary from CT scream at Louis. I wanted to hear him.

The show was like an hour and a half and there are no stops. It’s all gas. All the time. Only Saved by a Stranger is a “slow” song, but it’s a deep cut I love so it’s great to hear live. And Louis sounds so beautiful on it. Wear your comfortable shoes, go to the bathroom before, and strap in for an amazing show.

Louis wasn’t as chatty as usual, but he openly said it took him halfway through the show to not be nervous. I’m so glad I’m going to the final show of the US leg to see how he improves and develops.

He is so masterful at picking his opening acts. Snarls and The Academic had people engaged and hyped the whole time. It’s also so amazing to see these smaller bands playing spaces they might not play without Louis’ support. They were all visibly overwhelmed and it was so sweet.

My only complaint with the screens is I would prefer to see him in color instead of black and white because he’s so pretty.

Also, what a fucking amazing community we have. Getting to experience this show with @crinkle-eyed-boo and @sadaveniren was beyond words and seeing @pop-punklouis and other friends was just confirmation that the bullshit of loving these assholes is worth it.

I can’t wait to see Louis take over the world. 💙💙

[merryloumas]

Hello,

My dad really likes Sergio Perez, but I know he wasn’t happy with a lot of things from this season, essentially he really dislikes Verstappen lol but that’s all I know.

I do really enjoy football/soccer. When I was younger I was a big fan of the Spanish league, FC Barcelona, in their golden days. I usually love to watch the World Cup, but if my team pisses me off I stop watching. I get so mad I stop watching. I was actually able to go watch a soccer match in person this year, it was AMAZING but never again lol I’d rather watch at home.

I saw the “zouis” in your profile, only a fan of them? What’s the story there?

Hope you have a great day/night 💚

Heyyy, Your Dad 🤝 Me when it comes to Verstappen lol. ohhh damnnn i can just imagine the stress and emotions while watching in the stadium lollll. I'm glad you got to go!!! Football is something that always goes right over my head akjhsjk. We're a majorly cricket household but whenever the FIFA worldcup is happening, my dad gets into football and whenever he put it one, I used to try so hard to follow along (cause he was the one who first god me into cricket too) but for the life of me I could not understand. 😭😭😭 my only knowledge and understanding of the football game comes from Ted Lasso which I have rewatched multiple times and ironically, my favourite episodes are the ones that are focused on their football matches 💀💀💀 As for zouis... *wistful sigh*... where do I begin? They were partners-in-crime, best friends, soulmates during the band like matched eachother's freak so well that you could see why they got along so well. (and this is still very apparent like they'd do/react to something so similarly that you're like ah no wonder they got along so well) And then when you think about Zayn's struggles with anxiety and Louis' struggles with finding confidence in his voice... like they were the ones there for each other!! They stuck together on stage and supported each other like 😭😭😭 And when friendships like this have a fallout as big as theirs (like not even drifting apart but a fallout!!)... it hurts so much like bro!!! 😭😭😭 So I always had a soft spot for their friendship and them. On top of that, in the past couple of years, we saw them healing, saw Zayn healing with how he started mentioning the band, talking of his time fondly, and singing 1d songs and then louis liking those posts and wishing his daughter and then Zayn liking posts about Louis' tour.. it was soo ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 (Also Louis' solo music is my fav!! and so is Zayn's most recent album lol) Hope you didn't get too bored of my Zouis ramble lol. Have a great day/night xxx