#I was worried that I was nostalgia blinded but this movie is just as dumb and silly as I remember it
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
8-birdparagon · 1 year ago
Text
Did y’all have a favorite movie as a child that you watched over and over again, much to the dismay of your parents?
3 notes · View notes
nerianasims · 4 years ago
Text
Billboard #1s 1977
Under the cut.
Marilyn McCoo & Billy Davis, Jr. – “You Don’t Have To Be A Star (To Be In My Show)” -- January 8, 1977
They will be happy with each other as they are, not needing a "star." It sounds literal, like they think most people only want to have relationships with celebrities. It's got some bounce and a beat, but it's very light and not poetic at all. Meh.
Leo Sayer – “You Make Me Feel Like Dancing” -- January 15, 1977
Shouty falsetto. It might be disco if it were faster. I am not listening to this whole thing, because it will give me a headache.
Stevie Wonder – “I Wish” -- January 22, 1977
One of the greatest musical intros. It's a funk song about nostalgia, wishing for childhood again, and I normally hate that. But the music is amazing.
Rose Royce – “Car Wash” -- January 29, 1977
This was an intro song for a movie of the same name. I had no idea. I just thought someone decided to sing about working at a car wash randomly. The song is a little bit Motown, a little bit disco. It's fun.
Mary MacGregor – “Torn Between Two Lovers” -- February 5, 1977
It's slow, it's soppy, and it's about how she's cheating on "you" with someone else. She truly loves you, but she's not gonna stop seeing the other guy, whom she loves too. It sounds like she wants to try this whole poly thing she's heard about. But is the guy she's singing to gonna be okay with that? Probably not. Most people aren't. Maybe though. I don't care. For being about a subject that should be heartrending, this song sure is boring.
Manfred Mann’s Earth Band – “Blinded By The Light” -- February 19, 1977
This version made it to #1. Bruce Springsteen's original didn't even make it to the charts. This version is really bad -- it sounds like a recitation surrounded by goop, not a song. Bruce Springsteen's version is one of my favorite songs. I am going to sulk now.
Eagles – “New Kid In Town” -- February 26, 1977
Huh, an Eagles hit I've never heard before. This is about fame, how everyone loves you at first, then forgets you when the next big thing comes along. They try to shoehorn some stuff about romance in -- "Will she still love you when you're not around?" -- but it doesn't really flow. Also the song sounds like it should be playing in the background of a cabana. Fittingly for a song worried people will forget them, I have already forgotten this song.
Barbra Streisand – “Love Theme From A Star Is Born (Evergreen)” -- March 5, 1977
I listened to this song for 30 seconds. No more. I cannot stand Barbra Streisand. I don't think I'd like this song anyway, as it's glop, but maybe a different singer could have made it tolerable.
Daryl Hall & John Oates – “Rich Girl” -- March 26, 1977
Rich girls get picked on while rich boys are the ones who usually get away with everything. This song was actually originally about a rich guy, too. It would have been better. It's still good musically, but it misses the mark. Not that rich girls don't also get away with plenty, but compare and contrast what happened to Paris Hilton for her venial sins, versus the entire existence of Donald Trump.
ABBA – “Dancing Queen” -- April 9, 1977
ABBA was a good group. They were hated on, and now they're more likely to be exalted. They didn't deserve the hate (save it for the Bee Gees), but they're not the second coming or anything either. They were just a good, fun group. This song can be danced to, but it's a song more about dance than a dancing song. It's a rare song observing a young woman dancing while identifying with her, rather than lusting after her. "You can dance/ You can jive/ Having the time of your life." It's good.
David Soul – “Don’t Give Up On Us” -- April 16, 1977
The narrator did something really bad last night. Cheating? Worse? Now he's telling his lover not to "give up on us." As soft as the song is, "tell" is the word, not "ask." And he doesn't apologize once. Also, David Soul was a professional actor, but there's no worry in his voice; he's nothing but smooth and assured here. Blech.
Thelma Houston – “Don’t Leave Me This Way” -- April 23, 1977
It's disco with a large dose of Motown, or Motown with a large dose of disco. Either way, it works. Everything lines up with precision, and then Thelma Houston comes in over all of it with huge emotion. The contrast is sort of fascinating. Oh, and her huge emotion is that she wants sex. "Then come on, satisfy the need in me/ 'Cause only your good loving can set me free." She's not begging, but she's not exactly commanding either. It's really good.
Glen Campbell – “Southern Nights” -- April 30, 1977
It's Kidz Bop honky tonk. That's probably not fair; Glen Campbell grew up in a family of poor sharecroppers in Arkansas. But it's what I hear. It's happy clappy, and scrubbed clean of anything real.
Eagles – “Hotel California” -- May 7, 1977
Whatever you think this song is about, it's not about that. The Eagles wrote it with a mish-mash of stuff in mind, but mostly trying to be ambiguous. What that means is that whatever you think this song is about, it is about that. It's a choose your own adventure psychological horror song. I love it. It makes me happy in that way that good poetry and good music do -- and this is both.
Leo Sayer – “When I Need You” -- May 14, 1977
This song is cheese. Absolute, unadulterated cheese. But it's not bad cheese. It's a good solid cheddar. It's slow but not too slow, soft but not too soft, and it manages some interesting percussion. And Sayer sings like he means it. It's about missing his lover while he's on the road, and he imagines she's with him to get by. "When I need you/ I just close my eyes and I'm with you." It sounds kind of like a Broadway ballad. It's enjoyable.
Stevie Wonder – “Sir Duke” -- May 21, 1977
A song about Duke Ellington, which is a subject I approve of. Stevie Wonder also lists a few more legends, including one of my favorites: "And with a voice like Ella's ringing out/ There's no way the band can lose." It's a love song to music itself. It's sort of big band, sort of funk, and sort of Motown, and it works. The lyrics do get too repetitive for me near the end, though.
KC & The Sunshine Band – “I’m Your Boogie Man” -- June 11, 1977
It's a wordplay on the "bogie man" monster. But the boogie man wants to show up and give you whatever you want whenever you want however you want. Sexually. The song actually has more lyrics than most KC & The Sunshine Band songs, but it's still a song to dance to. Not to have sex to. But for dancing? Yep, it's good.
Fleetwood Mac – “Dreams” -- June 18, 1977
YAY! Okay so I have no interest in Fleetwood Mac without Lindsay Buckingham and Stevie Nicks. But when they joined in 1975, Fleetwood Mac became truly great. And this song is from Rumours, which is their best album (forged out of a hell of a lot of intragroup pain), and written and sung by Stevie Nicks, who was their best artist. My parents played this record and their previous self-titled one all the time. I didn't fully understand the songs when I was a kid, but I loved them. As I grew old enough to understand them, I loved them more. And now I love them more than that. I can't analyze this song. I love it too much.
Marvin Gaye – “Got To Give It Up (Part 1)” -- June 25, 1977
At first, he was uncomfortable at parties and didn't want to dance. But then he loosened up enough to dance, pretty obviously as a way to pick up chicks. There's the horrible line "Let me step into your erotic zone." The music is experimental. Marvin Gaye's falsetto is fine, but it's still a falsetto the whole damn song. And there are people making party noises in the background the whole time. I find this song painful.
Bill Conti – “Gonna Fly Now (Theme From Rocky) -- July 2, 1977
You know this instrumental, you've heard it tons. It's a good movie theme -- I think. It's hard to say, when it's something that's been so often present in so many different contexts in my life.
Alan O’Day – “Undercover Angel” -- July 9, 1977
The undercover angel is a make believe woman from a sex dream. At the end of the song, he's telling "you" that you remind him of the undercover angel, so you must be meant to be with him. It's an extended "I've seen you in my dreams" pickup line. It's so dumb.
Shaun Cassidy – “Da Doo Ron Ron” -- July 16, 1977
This is an excruciatingly boring cover of The Crystals' classic 60s girl group song.
Barry Manilow – “Looks Like We Made It” -- July 23, 1977
He's singing to an ex. They both "made it" because they found other people. Until "Looks like we made it/ Or I thought so till today/ Until you were there everywhere." If they get back together it's not going to be easy, because they'll be leaving relationships that seem happy. I don't think they'll get back together -- besides, she may not feel anything for him any more. It's a more complex song than it sounds. And Barry Manilow sure can sing. I wish he'd gone with the jazz songs he preferred, but then he wouldn't have been hugely successful. He decided to pull the rhinestone cowboy trick, and I can't blame him. He did make the soppy 70s charts more tolerable than they would have otherwise been.
Andy Gibb – “I Just Want To Be Your Everything” -- July 30, 1977
For instance, without Barry Manilow, Andy Gibb would probably have had more hits. Gibb's voice is thin. If you're going to sing a line like "Oh, if I, if I stay here without you darlin' I will die," you need some power and drama behind it. This guy sounds like he's trying to sell kitchen tile. It's a relatively fast song, but the beat is somehow irritating too. Blech.
The Emotions – “Best Of My Love” -- August 20, 1977
It starts with a blast of horns, and then a blast of singing. Then the chorus is quieter than the rest, which is weird to me. I can't put my finger on why this song bores me, but it does.
Meco – “Star Wars Theme/Cantina Band” -- October 1, 1977
A disco mashup of the Star Wars theme with the cantina band theme. That happened. I love John Williams' music and I think he deserves credit for at least half of Star Wars' success. But I think this remix sounds extremely dumb. Someone slowed down the cantina band theme a couple years ago and that sounds very noir and cool. This doesn't.
Debby Boone – “You Light Up My Life” -- October 15, 1977
The person who wrote this song was completely and absolutely terrible. But Debby Boone isn't. She's a Christian singer, but seems to be one of the nice ones, not the wingnut fundie ones. Anyway, she wasn't a Christian singer in 1977 (though she was Christian). And she had a good voice. But she sings this song painfully slowly. It sounds like she comes in after where she's supposed to come in and then draws out the notes longer than she's supposed to. I don't know if that's her or the song itself. I sped up the song to 1.25 and it's a little more palatable, but it's still bad. It's a trudge. I don't feel lit up after this.
The Bee Gees – “How Deep Is Your Love” -- December 24, 1977
It's not falsetto, though Barry Gibb does go uncomfortably high some. But it's still very bad. It's a string of bland cliches over bland music. And the weird 70s male romance song entitlement: "And it's me you need to show/ How deep is your love?" Shut up.
BEST OF 1977 -- "Dreams" by Fleetwood Mac  WORST OF 1977 -- "Star Wars Theme/Cantina Band" by Meco. People really would disco to anything, huh?
10 notes · View notes
asdamagicbiscuits · 5 years ago
Text
Theatre Highlights 2019
My Top 11 Theatre Highlights and Moments of 2019 (in no particular order other than roughly chronological.)
Let's get stuck in!
Panto at the Palladium
So my first theatre trip of the year saw me head off to Panto land at the Palladium to see Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. It was great to see Danielle Hope on stage again and she was the perfect Snow White. Massive shoutout to Simeon Dyer who was ace as one of the Dwarfs in the show, it’s not everyday you get to see your pal on stage in their West End Debut, he did a brilliant job. The Palladium always delivers fantastic Pantos and I’m excited to see what their next one is!
Book Of Mormon
So Book Of Mormon was again one of those shows I wasn’t rushing to see, that is until Luke George went into the company. I had heard a lot of things about it and I was worried as I had been told if you get easily offended that I wouldn’t like it. I saw it and loved it. It was nuts and very tongue in cheek humour. Turn It Off is one of my favourite numbers in the show, the company are fantastic in it! Tom Xander as Elder Cunningham is pure magic. No other way I can describe his performance. He’s so cheeky and mischievous, the PERFECT Cunningham. Paired with Dom Simpson as Elder Price they are a dream team. You and Me (but mostly me) is such a joy to watch. It was also so lovely to watch Luke and see him on stage again. He is as brilliant as ever!! The Book of Mormon is playing at the Prince of Wales Theatre in London’s West End and it’s also on tour too!!!
Cursed Child - Year Three
I think I said this in last years post but Cursed Child combines two of my biggest loves Harry Potter and Theatre. The Year Three company were exceptional and I saw a huge array of covers. Martin Johnson, Danny Dalton, April Hughes, Jordan Bamford, Leah Haile and Susan Lawson Reynolds. I can remember all the shows when I got to see them and the little details of their performances. Also as #KeepTheSecrets is over I’m gonna talk about April as Delphi. I ADORE April as Delphi. Like hands down my favourite interpretation of the role. Delphi is so sweet and then BAMN. That switch is flicked and her true intentions come out but even then April brought such a warmth to her that I found myself really sympathising with Delphi. She’s just a very misunderstood character and I just wanted to give her a hug. On the other side April’s interpretation of Myrtle is ICONIC!!! That giggle she does in the moment after Scorpius ask if everything’s going to be okay? And Albus replies going of course it is. Pure brilliance!! Also I have to mention the fact I FINALLY got to see James McGregor as Draco. It happened gang. I don’t know how I managed to get to see him three times, still blows my mind as I was worried I wouldn’t get to see him once but I did. It actually happened. ‘Twas beyond brilliant in every sense of the word and well worth the wait, exceptional performances!
Shitfaced Shakespeare
Another fantastic season for those boozey Bard loving beans! The Taming of the Shrew and Hamlet in London and Midsummer Nights Dream on tour. It’s always a joy to see them perform on stage. For those of you who read last years Highlights I can confirm that I broke the curse. I got to see Saul Marron Compère THREE times!!! He also was the drinker for the show of Midsummer I saw in my hometown on the tour. It was lovely to revisit my first show I saw them do, plenty of laughs and so much fun! Bring on next season for more Shakespeare, laughs and most importantly - booze! 😜 haha
Venice Preserved/The Provoked Wife
Now my theatre highlights wouldn’t be complete without me seeing a show Natalie Dew was in. This year I got to see her in Venice Preserved and The Provoked Wife both at the RSC in Shakespeare land (Stratford Upon Avon). Both shows were absolutely fantastic and I gotta mention Sarah Twombly who really stood out in The Provoked Wife as Mademoiselle, stunning performance! I adored Venice Preserved so much I saw it twice! It was gritty, edgy and the whole production value was fantastic! It was also so good to see Nat in such a different role, it’s not everyday you get to see your stagey fav play a dominatrix. She was so badass, strong and the moment at the end of the play with the look the gave another character, I’m getting chills just thinking about it. Perfection!
Edinburgh Fringe
Each year my trip to Ed Fringe just gets better and better and this year was no different. I managed two trips this year and saw a whole host of different shows which were all incredible and I got meet some lovely people, both leafleting and chatting to a few of the actors before the show. I’ll leave a link to my Ed Fringe post so if anyone wants to check out what I saw give it a read - here. Massive shoutout to the Bodily Functions gang as they were super lovely, Friendsical cast, David Colvin was so lovely too, the Shitfaced Shakespeare and Showtime lot. I could go on. But I’m buzzing to see what Ed Fringe 2020 will bring!
The Indian Queen
When in France, go to the Opera? So this still links with theatre but I want to talk about Pierrefonds, it’s my blog so I can do what I want 😜. Firstly BIG shoutout to my friend Sej, the only person mad enough to agree to go to France with me to visit a castle and to see an Opera. So firstly Pierrefonds. I still can’t believe I got to visit the castle where they filmed Merlin. It’s been on my Bucket list for many years now so thrilled I finally got to tick it off. It’s a gorgeous place in the cutest little village ever, genuinely would move there if there was more theatre. 100% will be going back again and would recommend to anyone about going. I had a great time! The other part of my trip saw me go and watch my very first Opera, The Indian Queen! The Opera House in Lille is stunning, so so beautiful. Now I can’t comment on what happened at the beginning as I was raging at the subtitles being in French, it wasn’t until it was 10/15 minutes in that I realised it was all sung and spoken in English. (yep. I am that dumb and yes it took me that long 🙈) I loved how they had the screens move around in the background with the opera on. It had been prefilmed and all the actors were in costume whereas the actors were all in blacks performing it in front of the screens live. As a first venture into the world of Opera, wasn’t what I was expecting at all but I really loved it. It was also so great to see James McGregor on stage again too!! He’s very good!!
Fiddler On The Roof
Wow. Just wow. I was completely blown away by Fiddler On The Roof, the set was gorgeous and how the company went through the auditorium felt so natural. You really felt like you were in Anatevka and part of the community. The whole company were phenomenal!! Andy Nyman as Tevye delivered one of the best performances I have ever seen from any West End Lead. His vocals and comic timing were on point!!! Maria Friedman as Golde played really well opposite Andy’s Tevye, they are a formidable duo. I’m so happy I was able to see them on together. Molly Osbourne as Tzietel and Joshua Gannon as Motel really stood out, stunning performances. Hands down the best show I saw this year without a doubt and I wish I could go back in time and relive it!!
Mary Poppins
Now Mary Poppins is so very dear to me. The movie is an absolute classic, a timeless piece but I had never seen it live on stage before. I had my tickets booked since January when they went on sale and it did not disappoint when I finally got to see it in November. Charlie Stemp was a brilliantly charming Bert and Zizi Strallen was, excuse the pun, ‘Practically Perfect in every way’ as Mary. I sobbed my way through the show and when Zizi flew up over the audience at the end of the show I was in bits. The best way I can describe it is when you love something so much and your just full of nostalgia and emotion and that’s how it came out. Step In Time, Feed The Birds And Practically Perfect were all highlights for me. I have so much love for the whole company for delivering a phenomenal show and I can’t WAIT to return to Cherry Tree Lane once again next year. Although hopefully I will be able to get through the show without crying next time. Haha. Mary Poppins is currently playing at The Prince Edward Theatre in London’s West End.
Dear Evan Hansen
Now I had to be the only person in theatreland who wasn’t rushing to get tickets or proper hyped for it. It was one of those shows for me which I was like - I’ll see it eventually but I’ll let the rush of people pass and I’ll go when it’s all died down. Then the cast got announced and I was okay. I need to see it and I need to see it in previews as I need to see Rupert Young on stage again. Thankfully one of my best friends Johanna was desperate to see it when she was over in November and she managed to sort us tickets. (Thanks Chummy. You’re the best. Love you) It generally was such a phenomenal experience, the audience was so quiet and the only sounds you could hear were the quiet sniffs of people crying. You could hear a pin drop and I don’t believe I will ever experience anything like that ever again. That’s great Anne but why has it made it into your highlights? Don’t worry. I’m getting to that gang 😜 haha. The whole cast were phenomenal. Sam Tutty was flawless as Evan, I connected immediately with him. I was sold and invested from the beginning. The fact there is only 8 people on stage for the whole show blows my mind. Like WHAT?! Outstanding performances from all. In particular Mr Rupert Young as Larry. Now the only thing I knew about the show was that You Will Be Found closes the first act. That’s all I knew, didn’t read up on it or listen to the soundtrack before hand. I went in completely blind! Now You Will Be Found starts and I can hear people crying and I’m sat there thinking. This is great. I haven’t cried at this. Brilliant. The thing which broke me and had me sobbing was when Rupert Young broke down and cried during You Will Be Found. That is what got me and I can relate so much to it. How I view it is that Larry has delayed grief and that happened to me personally so it really struck a chord with me. I’m basically a convert and this is a piece of theatre everyone needs to see and I can see it running for a very long time in London. Dear Evan Hansen is playing at the Noel Coward Theatre in London’s West End and if you haven’t already, GO BUY A TICKET!!
Rage But Hope
I was very lucky to be able to catch this show at Ed Fringe this year so I was thrilled I was able to make it in to see it again during its London run in November. I stand by everything I said before and it was fantastic to see the development of the piece, which is a current and important issue we all should focus on. The whole company delivers stunning performances and I adored the addition of Matt’s characters monologue. I felt it tied together what he said in a conversation with James earlier in the piece and it gave much more depth to his character. The Layla’s List monologue remained one of my favourite moments in the play and goes to show the importance younger generations have and that they are far wiser than their years suggest so not to under estimate them. Let’s preserve this world for many more generations to come. The writing is stunning and hats off to Stephanie Martin for an incredibly well written play. The scene at the end of the play was new for the London run and I felt it really hammered home the message. Tell the truth. Act Now!
So that pretty much wraps up 2019’s Theatre and what a year it was.
2020 - a New Year, a New Decade and I can confirm a lot more Theatre adventures.
Thanks for reading, make sure to come back next year for my 8th Theatre Highlights (that is MAD!!) to find out what I got up to!
Until next time, cheerio!
2 notes · View notes
groundramon · 7 years ago
Text
Homph I finished tri and I wrote down my thoughts as I was watching because I had too many funny shitposts and nobody to share them with bc charlie hasn’t watched tri yet
PS i wont be reblogging tri spoilers (besides MINOR stuff like, digivolutions of already confirmed digivolution lines or non-spoilery shitposts, but I’ll try to tag shitposts as #tri spoilers anyways [digivolutions specific to tri ill tag as well but not ones that were already basically confirmed]) for a while so ur safe here!  I’m just gonna like everything/most things because then I can rb em to hisyaryumon lmao (also u should check out hisyaryumon....its me n charlie’s digimon blog)
EP 1:
- ok. alright. ok. good. they’re dealing with kari’s emotions now instead of just. nothing.  ok. alright. cool.  Still dont like how obscure/”artsy” they’re being with it, this is digimon not kagerou project, but ok.
- Also. I stand by tk and kari being one of the few good straight ships in digimon.  just saying.
- kari: this is my fault... me: god damn it shut up you little brat also me: god relatable ALSO me: ill take whatever display of emotions i can get
- I love how nobody believes tai is dead like.  They’re upset and worried but they’re also like “nah. he cant be. that fucking asshole just left us in our time of need” (actually only matt is the last one)
- Gabumon i would die for you also im crying and I think that’s the first time tri managed to make me fucking CRY
EP 2:
- I had thoughts but then the 02 kids happened and I entered another plane of reality.  I don’t feel real right now
- the only one I can remember is evil!gennai being a dumbass and being like “SUFFER AND SQUIRM YOU PATHETIC HUMANS AS YOU FIGHT OVER THE LAST SEAT” 1. humans are KNOWN for their ability to care for others you dumb obvious fuck and 2. is. is the entire tube going? because that tube can fit too people if they squish.  This isn’t a joke I’m serious it can.
- oh yeah also when i saw whomstever the fuck his name is (adult guy who i love but fuck names) and he was all bloodied i was like “its a cold day in hell when i see blood in digimon” (I think there was blood in an earlier ep but shh idc)
EP 3:
- didn’t nishijima start off as a fucking life coach to these kids.  What the fuck he was supposed to help them find a career not emotionally scar them by bloodily dying in front of one of them
- im realizing that the reason hackmon was always in his cloak, in the shadows, standing still is that they cannot animate him in any normal position for the life of him.  I drew him with better anatomy when i was 14 and didn’t have a tablet.  No seriously, look:
Tumblr media
I didn’t say it wasn’t bad, you guys are just underestimating how bad the anatomy on this poor creature is.  Why cant ppl draw dracomon or hackmon correctly imma cry
- ordinemon has the best reaction faces
Tumblr media Tumblr media
the best part about these two screenshots is that they literally cut one to the other, first the first one to the second one and then it cuts back to the first one.  They were really proud of these stupid ass expressions.
- I started overcoming my dissociation shock from the second episode and my hypercritical mind was analyzing the shit out of everything that happened (it is Not happy) but then evil!gennai called kari and evil goddess and idk if he’s exaggerating to make her feel bad or if she’s literally a fucking god of chaos and destruction and either way im like
Tumblr media
she did kinda like.  Watch wizardmon die, watch tai die, watch gatomon get absorbed.  The dark ocean is just a metaphor for depression and honestly if 02 wasn’t all over the fucking place I think Kari would’ve had some pretty decent development in it.  Actually you know what, I’m using that as an angle to approach Tri at now, wish me luck bc i might actually give it more leeway now
EP 4:
- I’m not dissociating but I forgot to say anything again and I already forgot what happened
- Cant believe mei is fucking dead
EP 5:
- I like to imagine that Tai got there like a few minutes ago, but he was like “well damn guess yall figured it out without me.  alright ill just. see if I need to do anything” and then meicoomon was Still Bad so he waited for when she struck just to make the most badass entrance possible.  Fucking extra ass bitch
- I forgot to write anything again but uhhh I wasn’t satisfied so anyways lets just get into the Juicy Details
Originally I was actually planning to be kinder to Tri than I expected.  Was very invested during it.  ‘Round the end of the last ep I realized hmmm no this isn���t working out.  Where are the 02 kids.  You should’ve brought them in to save the day.  That would’ve been SO cool and SO fun.  Fucking cowards.
god I’m kinda tired so I’m going to address a couple things I still had problems with, note that this isn’t everything it’s just everything I felt comfortable yelling about without rewatching past eps.  Like I forgot nishijima was all bloodied and presumably died in the last part until they brought it up and I was like “????” ALSO DID THE LADY WHO WAS HIS PARTNER OR W/E KILL HERSELF WITH THE GUN SHE FOUND, I JUST REALIZED LITERALLY AS I WAS TYPING THIS THAT SHE FOUND A GUN AND THEN I THINK IT CUT TO BLACK AND I’M
Tumblr media
DID SHE FUCKING KILL HERSELF WHAT THE FUCK
anyways my problems:
1. They did joe. really dirty.  I’ll write a more proper rant on this sometime later (mostly bc charlie is MUCH better at talking about joe than I am) but basically I can tell you that his character development in the movies squandered his OG character development.  He’s basically an entirely different person.  Like Tri joe isn’t bad, besides being largely neglected (yes he has a whole half a movie to himself, no that doesn’t make up for it all), its just...not OG joe.  He’s a fine character just not the same character, and its NOT fine when you put the two together.
2. THEY DID THE 02 KIDS EVEN DIRTIER IM SO BITTER sorry you nostalgia-blind, money-hungry fucks at bandai, but the 02 cast is PART OF THE ADVENTURES UNIVERSE.  The only people who hate 02 are ones who like the characters but hate the mess of the storyline at the end, or are completely irrational and elitist about their love of the digimon series and would greatly re-evaluate their opinions if they watched the original series and 02 back to back.  They couldn’t even show them in some kind of group montage at the end??? Standing in the background when they call Mei???  Why couldn’t they call mei from a home phone also, but that’s a less important problem idc that much.  It was a cute scene besides the lack of 02 characters.  Whatever.  AND THE PROBLEM IS LIKE kari and tk?  This entire time???  Were like “oh they disappeared. oops” instead of being frantically searching for their lost friends???  Like i get tk and kari probably have fucking ptsd and can’t express any emotions because they watched important people die in front of their eyes at an incredibly young age but also 1. they didn’t address the ramifications of ptsd, so fuck that theory/excuse and 2. THAT??? WOULD ONLY MAKE THEM LOOK HARDER??? and put on a brave face as they look, but inside they’re so scared and so worried.  Not just “oh sweet, they were found/saved, theyre in the hospital but that’s fine” like WHAT theyre fucking assholes if that’s what they’d canonically do lmao.  God I am SO bitter over the ENTIRE thing with the 02 kids, it would’ve been BETTER if they were deleted from the fucking canon entirely.  Would I have still been bitter?  Yes.  But at least I wouldn’t be madder at TK and Kari too.
3. I stand 100% by the notion that Digimon is not and will never be cut out to be an adults’ franchise.  It wasn’t designed for adults, and it can’t be skewered towards adults.  These particular characters were designed for kids to relate to and find entertaining.  They do not work when placed into an adult setting.  Like, can you imagine a character like Ed from FMA going to the Digimon world?  I guess in a way that’s just Marcus but like.  Just imagine the FMA cast in Digimon Adventure.  It doesn’t work.  Digimon Tri is basically that except real.  Also Data Squad was darker than Adventure so my joke doesn’t even work.
I guess my primary point is that Tri isn’t mature enough of a setup for an adult audience.  It puts a focus on being “complex” and “philosophical” instead of working within Digimon’s constraints and making something good and adult out of that.  Like!  Digimon is a fucking TOY COMMERCIAL.  Don’t give me messages about the futility of human life.  I want bad puns and emotional characters.  That’s what Digimon has ALWAYS been, and ideally always will be.  Tri could’ve made itself more mature by dealing with the ramifications of the Digital World’s events, how it affected the kids psychologically and dealing with healing old scars.  It would’ve been a more mature take on a story we loved and would use things we loved about the story already - the fact that it took so much time exploring characters’ emotions and was surprisingly mature for the time - to make itself better.  You need to take the aspects that drew adults to the show and amplify them, not just slap on a complex story and unfunny dialogue and be like “oh this is fine, right?”
It’s not that Digimon can’t exist as an adult property, its just that if it repeats what Tri did, it’s got no merit and in my eyes the franchise is dead.  If it survives I guess I’ll be happy that people can still enjoy it but I find it unsustainable and unsatisfying to fans of the older series.  Tri is just a fuckfest of highly specific nostalgia that tries too hard to appeal to old fans without capturing what made the original series so magical, and in part thats because the original series WASN’T FOR ADULTS.  I don’t know about the Digimon Story games, bc they’re T-rated so perhaps they’re a better take on an adult Digimon story than Tri?  But you either need to make your own characters and lore specifically for an adult-oriented Digimon season, or perish.  Also, please make it a series and not a group of movies.  Getting four eps every 6-9 months was hell.
I stand by saying Appmon is a more faithful Digimon season than Tri to Digimon’s original spirit.  I believe it holds more potential for success than Tri and better embodies the spirit of the older Digimon seasons.  It’s dumb, its corny, it has horrible puns, but I LOVE it because it also has a deep dark story and emotional moments.  If you dislike Tri and you agree with things I said that make it unlikeable, I highly recommend giving Appmon a chance - if you watch a few episodes and think “oh yeah, I guess this is decent” you’re going to like it.  It’s everything Digimon has always been and hopefully always will be, just with a different concept.  And hopefully the end of the series doesn’t leave a sour taste in my mouth and I have to redact this statement haha since I’m not done with it yet, but I’ve heard good things about it so I’m hoping not so.
Overall, if you watch Tri, don’t get your hopes up.  It resolves everything okay-ish but it’s a pretty forgettable anime on its own and simply doesn’t work as part of the Digimon franchise.
I am, however, pretty interested in what evil!gennai said at the end about Diaboromon and Daemon.  It raises interesting questions about the timeline too.  We know Daemon is in the dark ocean, so perhaps that’s a hint at a future project?  (They did confirm a future project btw, in conjunction with tri being over)  But what about Diaboromon?  I dont believe that Our War Game (I think thats what its called?) took place after Tri, based on the outfits and ages and stuff, but I also don’t remember the movies that well.  Could Diaboromon still be out there too?  It’s interesting.
However, because of the lackluster performance of Tri, I don’t have my hopes up and I really hope that this “next project” goes in a different direction.  Although I guess if they include the 02 kids, I’ll be somewhat less salty...
Side note, did they ever explain why the gennais went evil?  Like ?  That’s a pretty important thing.  The gennais helped SAVE the human world in 02.  And I get that apparently Tri is ignoring 02′s ending but still.  It’s shitty, because Gennai was still a good guy in the original too (and also they cant just keep is younger look and act like 02 never happened)  MAYBE its something I missed but I dont think so.  God there’s just.  So much wrong with Tri.  I’m very displeased and very bitter and I wanna get back to Appmon asap.
It’s got good moments, its got bad moments, I dont know, I don’t care.  There’s nothing wrong with you if you like it, there’s nothing wrong with you if you don’t, and there’s nothing wrong with you if you flip flop and are split like me.  I just wish Tri fulfilled its potential instead of becoming a boring mess.
1 note · View note
grizzlefur · 7 years ago
Text
WWEm - Nobody Calls Dean McFly a Nerd
Tumblr media
Transmission date: Monday 18/Tuesday 19 September 2017
Yeah, I said this would be 'punctual' and 'up a decent amount of time before the PPV', but hey
i was ill, and also you're not the boss of me
(unless you are)
(in which case my salary hasn't been coming in and we need to talk)
so without any further ado (just kidding, this is gonna be ado city right here) i present to you SATURDAY AFTERNOON RAW!
(yeah, you thought it was gonna be sunday, didn't you?)
(daniel did)
(he was super unprepared and is currently eating lunch in his booth)
(it looks delicious)
(bastard)
ahem
yes
wrestles?
opening on an in memoriam for bobby heenan
aww
we're in san jose
i should be able to make some kind of sport joke there but i can't find it
anyway, here's kurt
apparenrtly we have two matches at no mercy that are mania-worthy
casual shade at the rest of the card there
kurt says that's not all, and now here's the miz
with his bros, but not his wife
oh yeah, she's pregnant
that makes sense
boo for the next year or so when i don't get to steal her style ideas
miz, meanwhile, is wearing black trousers and a white jacket and growing a shitty beard
the single look doesn't suit you, mike
he's complaining that he doesn't have a match at mercy
kurt's like dude i was just saying that
jordan/elias/hardyz in a four-way tonight for a shot at him
miz complains that kurt puts his son in the match ahead of his super-qualified and totally legit hangers-on
kurt has had enough of your tone, young man
miz gives him a lecture about responsible fatherhood
see how kurt isn't beating the shit out of him, shane?
this is called being a responsible employer
miz fucked up his words at least twice while i was writing that last sentence
get it together, dude
anyway, here's jj to step to him
and defend his dad's honour
in a new magic eye singlet
i think he's secretly dressed as a tractor
jj asks kurt to put curtis and bo in the match so miz can shut the fuck up
never gonna work, dude
miz says one more thing about his father
gets fucked on, as promised
booker gives sage words about how jj needs to control his temper
dude, did you watch your entire fucking career
for example, jason has never dropped an n-bomb on air
later tonight we have brock and braun being interviewed (bad) and roman giving an address (worse)
but next, alexa/nia
brilliant shot of them walking backstage
alexa's expression of barely-restrained terror sells it
but first have this advert for cena/reigns
because god knows we haven't talked about it enough
back to jj backstage
as kurt storms in to tell him to calm down and focus
jason responds by ranting about what everyone thinks of him
dude, this is the opposite of calm and focus
kurt talks some fatherly shit at him, boils down to #hatersgonnahate
tells him to win the match
bet he never thought of that
but actually now, here's alexa
doing her best 'ignoring the proles but also lowkey bricking it' face
and also nia
bell rings, alexa runs away
like you thought it'd go any other way
eventually gets back in the ring, gets dicked on for a while before trying to talk nia down
and running away again
heads up the ramp, headed off by sasha
and then nia flattens her
(alexa, that is)
sasha's just lurking at ringside like oh hey there
alexa totally just hit a curbstomp on nia
i thought we banned that
alexa sets up on the top rope, goes for a crossbody, gets samoan dropped to death
sasha attacks nia after the pin, gets fucked on
and oh hey, bayley's back
somewhere, emma is just like yknow what i'm good
the three of them face off against nia and take her down
oh my god, i would watch the shit out of sasha, bayley and alexa as the shield
#extremefantasybooking
nia leaves, bayley extravagantly hugs everyone
they both raise alexa's arm, then remember who she is and bayley suplexes her into oblivion
i really should have seen this coming what with it being san jose
+10 hometown boost
cole recommends we go to wwenetworkrightnow.com
someone needs to learn how web addresses work
and also hypes kevin/shane in a cell
which...no
and gameplay ad for 2k18
ooh, it's got billie in
i'll probably play it, but not preorder this one
destiny 2 and injustice 2 exist, along with others
ad for total bellas, which looks less good
and a package of wrestling peeps eulogising heenan
apparently we're gonna get more of those throughout the show
cole tries to do heenan banter, corey shuts him the fuck down
and now, a video package about brock
god, i hate ppv setup shows
this is all footage from 2002
transition straight into mania 30 without a AND THEN HE BROKE HIS FUCKING NECK title card
and along came a strowman
okay, i will never not giggle at the announce table sandwich spot
paul claims that was the first time in brock's life he got carted off the battlefield
see above, re: BROKE HIS FUCKING NECK
this package has just reminded me of luke harper's existence
what happened to him?
internet says him and rowan are still signed, but little else
anyway, package is over, here comes cesaro
and also his best bro
i will never get over their fusion dance pose
actual fact
they're up against the good brothers, who are still jobbing wherever possible because we saw the shit that happens when they get to main even
ad for smackdown, which i am super unhyped for
the aftermath of vince 'blading is awful unless it's me' mcmahon
let's see how that trash fire goes later
sheamus wants to talk to us about nostalgia
and also about how he clearly doesn't understand the difference between sequels and remakes
conclusion: fuck nostalgia
and here come the kkb to fuck it for us
apparentliy seth and dean are both exploiting each other
cesaro responds to what chants by repeating the same phrase half a dozen times
which is kind of great
wait, sheamus has mtn dew and liverpool fc patches
now i need to study the rest of both of their jackets
anyway, they finish their usual proclamations, and now here are seth and dean
seth describes them as like if taxi driver and braveheart had a really ugly baby
seems legit
although i don't love the 'yeah but you look dumb' retort
they talk about brothers a bunch, gives anderson and gallows a perfect chance to cut in
and call seth and dean nerds
seth's like oh no dude you shouldn't have said that
dean is not happy
nobody calls dean mcfly a nerd
cue brawl
ending with seth and dean in the ring and everybody else outside like bwaaaaaahhhhh next time gadget
but fuck that shit, here's an ad for asuka
meanwhile, kurt has once again taken the path of least resistance and made this into a triple threat
expect spots, shenanigans, and a champion win
cesaro and sheamus 100% just kicked gallows in the dick
ref like whatevs i'll allow it
book talks about the good brothers not finding their footing in wwe, cole's like ummmmm dude they were tag champs
this match is primarily seth and dean and the kkb doing rapid tags and good wrestling and anderson and gallows being like yessir we are also here
oh hey, anderson tagged in
had to happen evetually, i guess
cole almost calls gallows 'the big dog', catches himself in time
accidental double hot tag takes us to seth/cesaro, and frankly the other four can go home
weird spot where seth goes for his turnbuckle bomb then has to redirect halfway through to not throw cesaro into anderson and gallows' corner
seth eats a magic killer, dean breaks the pin only to get thrown into a barricade by the kkb
someone in the ring just shouted "sports entertainment!" and i don't know in what context
sheamus and cesaro do their flapjack cutter, then both forget who's legal and roll out of the ring, then both run back in and go for the tag at the same time
with cesaro doing the pin and sheamus just holding seth's right calf
is this a fucking laurel and hardy movie
and then anderson forgets how to set up a superplex
-checks the headlines for an epidemic of fail ravaging san jose-
double double suicide dives from seth and dean
next up in 'spots that make not a single fucking lick of sense when you think about them'...
whatever the good brothers are good at, it's not selling when they take a suicide dive
sheamus blind tags off dean, dean hits dirty deeds on anderson, sheamus steals the pin
would you look at that, a champion victory on a ppv setup show
cole started a sentence with "The Bar claims...", i totally hear the barsgays
cesaro poses on the ramp, sheamus hobbles off backstage, seth and dean don't give a shit
but nowthe miz rallies his troops in the locker room
(if you know what i mean)
bo interrupts like dude i used to do motivational speeches can i criticise your technique
bo and curtis give their cvs, throw some casual shade on their boss
realistically, why is matt hardy in that match?
the others have at least been winning a bunch lately or have had their boss shouting at the gm
has kurt been hassled by seven deities
this video from mania 21 brought to you by pizza hut
ok, but...why?
yes, edge won the first mitb
why are you telling us this now
okay, nobody knows
cole does an awkward segue into cena/reigns
corey forgets how to speak english
don't worry dude, attempting to hype roman reigns matches does that to me too
and now enjoy this video package of the parallel histories of john cena and roman reigns
i remember when there was live wrestling on this show, not like 80% clip shows
(yup, turns out i still hate ppv setup shows)
(however much of a tire fire smackdown is, at least it won't be a ppv setup show)
i really don't get why they can say bitch on the live shows but then censor it out of the video packages
okay, even in retrospect this cena promo was fire
and straight from that into an advert for vince's totally legit head injury
back in the real world (ha), kurt is on the phone
he certainly spends a lot of time on that phone
which is...an accurate representation of management, i guess
kudos, dubby dubby wee
+0.01 reality points
(current score: -89887452.99)
pan over to goldust standing inches from a poster with his back to the room
and then he turns round without paint on
whaaaaaaat
and the bodysuit undone partly as well
he wants another shot against bray in his real face
which raises the question: if he wins, why was the paint there in the first place
some kind of anime power limiter?
leaves, then pops back in to snap in kurt's face as usual
but in the ring, it's curt hawkins
woo
he's closed the star factory
and replaced it with the curt hawkins history machine
huh?
he's going to make history by ending his 114-match loss streak
well, that makes sense i guess
at least he's aware of his failings
and here comes apollo crews
the apathy is just rolling in off the crowd in waves
titus is here too
corey is either listing the current roster of titus worldwide or naming random celebrities
hard to tell
apollo shows off all the athleticism and none of the charisma, as ever
curt actually gets a nearfall, which is good for him
ticker advertises raw next week for 'ontario, CA'
ok, a) CA is a real state abbreviation, and b) ontario is big
unless it's going to be on the road through ontario in some kind of epic monday night raw travelling roadshow
i'd watch it
anyway, while i was distracted by the ticker, apollo won
i love how his 115-match streak gets an onscreen graphic
up next, brock and braun talk
sigh
after a small dancing child with cancer
it's an ad, ftr
not dolph trying another new gimmick
great, here they are
complete with paul growing out of brock's left shoulder
long beat before paul remembers his client can't talk until at least halfway through the segment
got to pace himself
braun: "My actions speak for my words!"
...i got nothin
some next-level uplit glower coming from braun though
which i just read back as 'quilt glamour'
next big aesthetic of 2017
this lighting makes braun's tattoos look like absolute shit
i'd provide a pic, but then i'd have to keep looking at them as i tracked one down
just trust me
i think it's the combination of veins and scar tissue
the way this shot is arranged, brock looks like an uncomfortable child as his parents argue over his head
paul decides cole's interview displeases him, so he's writing his own
tbf, cole is entirely unnecessary in this situation
yay, brock's warmed up
leans into camera, and the scale difference makes him and paul look like an 80s album cover
oh hey, brock got to do a mild swear
quick, let's censor it out of all future broadcasts
and the segment's over
thank god
and next...roman delivers a message
OH, FOR FUCK'S SAKE
after these recaps of the women's title happenings
yeah, primarily making me double down on the fact that a women's trios competiton would be rad
and they've added bayley to the no mercy match?
for reasons
emma complains on twitter, and she's kind of right
but now (sigh) roman reigns
the presence of roman has made cole forget what time of year it is
he is just a well of negative thought
standard loooooooong-ass beat before he talks
opens by bigging up cena's talking skills
maybe a bad start
and then probably swears? the tape delay caught it
namechecks alex riley as the boring white version of himself
which is...fair, tbh
calls cena a bitch again, take a shot as you despair for the writers' lack of better material
rolls a vt from 20fucking12
of cena basically having the same problem with the rock as roman has with cena
the main difference being i don't want to punch past cena in the face rn
the real angle we want to see is cena v past cena
get on it, r&d
roman calls cena out for not being here today
is smug af
halfway decent promo, but tbh most of the good bits were shamelessly ripped from cena material
which, hey, steal from the best
in any case, he's gone
but now, renee interviews the hardyz
asks them how they're going to deal with fighting each other in the 6-pack
they're both like welp, it's kind of what we do
matt does the broken accent for one line, everyone pops
and wyatt cut
i like to think matt is still in full flow and just hasn't realised the cameras are off
but yeah, here's bray
and here's a total bellas ad
strong juxtaposition
and also an asuka ad
led with a quote from fucking sun tzu
excuse me while i sigh so hard my lungs collapse
like
they're on a big push in china
so someone must have realised it isn't the same country as japan
and yet
this summerslam recap slideshow is mostly a chance for bray's music to keep playing so we can here the full track
which is fucking great
and here's
dustin rhodes
the dramatic renaming is slightly let down by the fact that both his tron and the fucking clothes he's wearing say GOLDUST in big letters
could they not have just put him in some generic gear for this match
cole has clearly just ctrl+f'd his internal monologue, and now he's awkwardly calling dustin rhodes by his full name at every opportunity
but yeah, if you were trying to be the man behind the gimmick, why would you still be wearing the hey-look-at-my-junk bodysuit?
pins bray in the corner ropes, kicks him twice in the inner thigh (honestly officer), and then eats a sister abigail for the pin anyway
cue finn on the tron
dustin can't even have this loss to himself
finn is here to tell a story about his youth
in the form of the next big YA novel
i would totally read a novel series anbout a fictionalised finn bálor
finn points out that even the man behind the demon is a man who made himself a demon
so not exactly harmless
reason 1745 i love finn bálor: understanding of symbology
after this bobby heenan memorial, enzo will be here
so i kind of hope it lasts half an hour
and now the announce team awkwardly eulogise some more
and cut to a video package of his greatest moments
this is about 409000% better than enzo turning up
oh fuck, here he is
i am loving the number of boos he's getting
oh thank fuck here comes braun our lord and saviour to bodycheck him into the underworld
casually chucks him into the ring over the top rope from the floor
san jose loves him
spinebuster to death, then powerslam out the other side
walks off, neville turns up while he's halfway up the ramp
gives the angry giant a wide berth
and red arrows enzo for shits
demands a mic, does enzo's shuffle and how you doin', leaves
and san jose fucking loves him
beating up enzo is not good for your heel heat
oh wait, apparently he's sticking around for a fight
after this ad for smackdown
and this recap vt of enzo getting dunked on
cut to charly interviewing enzo in the trainer's room
he's like woe is me i am dead
but btw i'm still gonna win on sunday
but in any case, now it's neville v gran metalik
rip el rey de las cuerdas
neville tears his mask open
ooooooooooooh
-shocked silence-
metalik responds with a lovely step-up tope
neville intercepts a moonsault into the rings of saturn, successfully stands up to lucha rage
and now after beating enzo, he's painted a huge target on his back for every luchador in the company
but now a hispanic heritage month thing about jennifer lopez
for whatever reason
it's worth noting that we're halfway through september, and wwe hasn't mentioned it until they have time to fill on a ppv setup show
one ad for 205 later, here's elias to open the main event reunion tour
he is disappointed in san jose
but also in all his opponents, so there's that
threatens a child in the audience that he'll get them and their mother kicked out of san jose
do...do wrestlers have that power?
and here's a diss track about his opponents and also btw san jose
interrupted by the hardyz before he can get to their verse
ooh, jeff's gone back to his old pre-mermaid arms sleeves
in all their improbable glory
and curtis and bo don't even have their own entrance any more
oh, and they get their boss to come with them
well, i guess he'd be coming on announce or w/e anyway
ok, no, he's just gonna lurk
and commence huge brawl
someone's brought miz his studio chair for ringside
brief moment where it looks like the heels are all going to work together, then elias is like ohhhh wait i'm a huge dick -kicks bo in the kidneys-
incredibly slow tower of doom setup for the hardyz to suplex the miztourage superplexing jj
elias goes for the cheap pin, jeff breaks it
and then elias eats a poetry in motion for good measure
matt then immediately turns on his brother, side effect for a nearfall
Tumblr media
jj deploys approximately 63% of the world's suplexes, miz throws him into the audience because no rules motherfuckers
matt twist of fates bo for a nearfall, broken by elias
who then hits drift away on matt, pin broken by jeff
crotch drops elias, swantons axel, miz breaks the pin
and jj hits kind of a meh neckbreaker for the cheap pin
insistent crowd member with an I PAID TO SEE DANA BROOKE sign
oh, honey
miz comes into the ring to sarcastically applaud jj
and then tries to punch him and gets suplexed to death
until curtis and bo come in to kick some shit out of him
and finale
and some post-beatdown smacktalk from the miz
calls him a bastard, which we can get away with when it's used in its technical sense
and fade on the twat triumphant
(my new feminist porn site)
...
that's the worst joke i've ever made on here
i am sorry
right, this is normally where i would roll on to smackdown
but, while i do have a weekly quota of sweaty men falling over, it's about to be filled by the new season of strictly
i have diverse interests
so until i get back, here's a line to tide you over
----------------------------------
damn, that was a good line
and if anyone was expecting another kind, you are seriously overestimating our budget here
so failing that, how about some SUNDAY AFTERNOON SMACKDOWN?
(yeah, no mercy starts in like nine and a half hours)
(this whole punctuality thing was never going to take)
so yes
do the show
oh god this is going to be the vince mcmahon drama hour, isn't it
now lasting two hours
raw was mostly bullshit, expect this to be bullshit for other reasons
oh hey, let's kick off with a recap of the whole angle
if you can't remember what happened, read this blog more carefully?
really can't help you with that
oh hey, i want to punch vince in the throat again
funny how quickly that comes back
they've put so much reverb and filters on this audio that kevin is basically unrecognisable
his name is legion
ok, yeah, i'll never not pop for vince getting the shit kicked out of him really
we're in oakland today, so [topical joke about the a's]
and opening with some shane
commence the dramening
whoever designed the graphics for hiac this year needs to calm the fuck down
HANDS AND SKULLS ALL HANDS AND SKULLS HANDS OPENING A SKULL HELL IN A CEEEEEEEEEEELL
apparently vince had three fractured ribs
and shane is now here to sing his praises and how much he loves him
one day they'll work out what they want the image of the mcmahon family to be
Tumblr media
shane condemns kevin to hell in the cell [sic]
work out the name of your show, dude
HANDS AND SKULLS AND FIIIIIIIIIRE
okay, now i need to calm down
but later tonight in other angles, corbin/styles for the concept of an open challenge
but next, randy
come back shane, all is forgiven
well
most is forgiven
but first, have this ad for cena/reigns
again
i miss creepy cheerleader cult alexa
oh, and here's aiden english
guess we know what randy's here for
sweet lennon shades, dude
aiden provides his own dubiously-scanning version of randy's music
calls him a tool, gets a massive pop
keep the faith, oakland
shot of the announce table reminds me once more of the a+ announce team on here
and here's randy
oh look, still a tool
"this could be a well-laid plan by aiden english...or it could be a crucifixion"
byron saying what we're all thinking
my money's in column b
guy at the front of the round with a kane sign is either slightly ahead of events or significantly behind
we will see tonight
aiden takes a backbreaker on the barricade, then slams randy into the announce table anyway
nice to see him get some solid offence
still gonna lose, but
gets a thumb to randy's eye while he argues with the ref
adding randy to the calm the fuck down list
and then counters a top rope crossbody into a shoddy-ass rko
handy slowmo replay of the shittiness of that finisher
oh hey, here's rusev to defend the honour of musical theatre
or possibly to recover his honour in the eyes of the noble people of bulgaria
or to...rip randy's teeth out?
esoteric threat there
randy agrees to the match, then immediately gets momentarily distracted by aiden and kicked in the face for the pin
rusev then runs off up the ramp instead of getting down to tooth-ripping
i'm simultaneously disappointed and thankful
stands on the stage, rejoices at his reclaimed honour
oh, but tom has news
kevin will be here via satellite
from the next room
seems inefficient, but hey
tradition
also tonight, charlotte's back to talk about her dad
but now, here's jinder
walking backstage sharing smug stories with his crew
and he'll be here after this ad for kids with cancer
or
what's the opposite of an ad?
like
an avert?
but then it'd just be an a
appropriately for oakland i guess
BOOOOOOOM SPORTS JOKE
damn, i'm good
ad for total bellas, and now rusev is freaking out backstage
renee comes to interview him, has to immediately explain the word 'elated'
rusev is off back to bulgaria to be a hero again
but now, here are the singhs and their amazing alveolar trills
and also their boss
in a possibly ill-advised spotted shirt
or maybe i just spend too much time critiquing wrestlers' fashion choices
jinder is doubling down on mocking shinsuke's face
this is the most incisive and well-written angle
the singhs are continuing to find jinder's jokes more hilarious than is healthy
and now jinder's getting at the crowd for being racist against japanese people?
sure, dude
they've spun a really long mic spot out of one pic of shinsuke and a bunch of racism
oh, and there's the japanese people can't say /l/ joke
credit to oakland for all just going oooooooooh there
this is genuinely breathtakingly racist
crowd start a that's too far chant
p sure he crossed that line weeks back, but welcome to the party
we have whisky and non-discriminatory humour
does some ranting in punjabi to 3% of the people of his alleged country, end segment
the announcers are all like yeah, that was a bit much
let's move on and try to forget that
up next, corbin/styles
in the allegedly open title challenge
after this repeat of the video about j-lo off raw
remember last year when they did the whole month of different latinx people?
but sure
but now, renee interviews shinsuke
who's like yeah that jinder's a funny guy -lowkey furious-
and then leaves
and here's aj
and a replay of styles/dillinger last week
that was a good match
aj has thoughts about kevin/shane
he thinks kevin shouldn't be messing with the man who brought aj to the wwe and started smackdown live
um
remember mania?
but now to talk shit about "shortcut king" baron
and list his recent failures
(which are hilarious)
and here comes the dick himself
with his new intro i still don't quite get
corey is talking shit about baron for seeing the us belt as a trophy
which...it is?
gregg mentions aj's weight, and i get briefly distracted by the fact that he'd only need to cut a few pounds to be a cruiserweight and how good aj/cedric would be
anyway, while i thought about that, baron attacked aj before the bell, leading tye to run in and take the fight to him
refs have removed tye, but baron's selling a fucked leg
so aj puts him in the calf crusher as well, cos why wouldn't you
hit aj's music, guess the thing's over
with baron rolling around at ringside going OW MY LEG
we get it, dude
but up next, charlotte
after pizza hut gives us a random clip of the past
this time, it's mitb 2011
i have no fucking clue what rationale they pick these clips on
but hey, it's nice to watch bryan win things
and here's baron hobbling around backstage
renee comes to interview him, he screams about feeling violated
not sure that was where you wanted to go with that, dude
swears vengeance, end thing
and here's charlotte
in street clothes
and oh look, she and her dad have written a book and it's out today
such coincidence
remember when charlotte was meant to be her own thing distinct from her family?
she's here to thank everyone for their tweets and positive energy
or possibly thoughts and prayers
the former seems more likely these days
but ric is apparently going to be ok, so i can resume talking shit about him without feeling bad about it
one day he'll die and i'll feel momentarily bad for all the crap i've said about him before going on with my life
Tumblr media
charlotte has learnt an important lesson about the fragility of life and shit
and here's nattie to be insensitive
she's like cool your dad's ok but let's talk about the important shit
nattie is hosting wwe's first ever celebration of women?
like
it's totally a thing they should do
but we have a heel doing it, so this is going to be shitty
okay, yeah, it's going to be celebrating all women by looking at nattie in particular
because we're all basically her
charlotte's just like yeah whatever i want a title shot
good shutdown
and here's becky to be sarcastic
in a really nice waistcoat
and also challenge for the title
oh, and here's naomi
who can imagine why
in an enormous white pimp robe
sure
i take it back
an enormous multicoloured pulsing pimp robe
she doesn't even get to say she wants a shot before tamina and lana cut in
lana's here to talk about how bitches ain't shit and her client deserves a shot
so nattie has a tantrum outside the ring about all these women overshadowing her celebration of women
here's noted non-woman daniel bryan to weigh in
making the main event a four-way for a title shot
remember when there was more than one angle in the division?
ha
of course you don't
never happened
and up next, new day/hype bros
the building may explode with enthusiasm
after this ad for brock/braun, at least
back in the room, the bros are already here
and the usos are on announce
lovely shot of someone in the crowd joining in with the new day intro but forgetting how many times they've been champs
loving all the match card graphics, where big e is totally doing his best broken matt hardy
Tumblr media
meanwhile in the match, mojo steals e's ab stretch spank thing
but yeah, they've announced new day/usos rematch at hiac
like anyone didn't know that was coming
e takes a broski boot, kofi shows he can fuck a team up on his own
zack tries for a rollup, eats a midnight hour for the pin
usos front, new day party, end thing
but now let's go back to the mcmahon drama
leading with a recap of vince getting beat on
and now here's kevin via satellite from what looks like a high school theatre supplies room
still life with canadian, spotlight and big red square, 2017
kevin is sorry for what he did, but it's all shane's fault for making him want to do it
claims to have nothing but respect for vince
he's also apologising in advance for the carnage at hiac
and maintaining that he's the good guy here
end thing
have a graphic for the women's four-way
and an ad for john cena's superhero body spray
which you should not attempt
and now here are the hype bros backstage
mojo is tired of losing all the time
proposes drastic action
but now here's dolph
presumably to complain about gimmicks
which he's made into its own gimmick, so it's only a matter of time before wrestling collapses in on itself
and then i'll have to watch scandinavian crime dramas for this blog or something
daniel's ears pricked up at that
i told you, no cable knit jumpers in my studio
in any case, dolph is now being hhh
"Was that fun? Can I run NXT now?"
and now he has more things
corey is filled with rage and despair
and now he's hbk
except modern hbk
hat and flares, no shades or weird bondage vest
oakland is united in wanting him to do cm punk
dolph ziggler, celebrity impressionist
dolph rants some more, goes back out
and now he's in dx
remember when we had cumbersome overlays as part of entrances
i kind of love it
the dx music is still great, too
dolph rails against dx trying to stay relevant, despite the fact that they haven't been since the late 90s
shouts at the crowd for not appreciating the craft
and he doesn't care about the crowd
cares enough to choreograph numerous elaborate entrances with costumes and props and shit, but hey
and then wanders off
is this going anywhere in particular, or is it just that we had some time to fill?
announce team move swiftly on to hyping no mercy
but next, main event
i'm not optimistic for the chances of the one heel in this match
especially because it's tamina, and she doesn't get to win things
after this ad for 2k18, in any case
back in the ring, becky's already here
but fuck that, let's have an ad for 205
oh, and tamina's already here too
becky at least got music
and here's naomi
showing us that enormous fur robes are actually really hard to dance in
i do like her mismatched eyeshadow though
charlotte's back in one of her dad's robes, which makes a certain amount of sense
i still miss peacock queen charlotte
oh, and lana's lurking at ringside
hadn't noticed
match starts, immediately go to a roman/cena ad
because why bother actually watching the main event
all three faces briefly team up to dunk on tamina, because why wouldn't you
naomi springboard crossbodies charlotte and becky simultaneously, cos she's great
pan out to nattie watching the match and looking smug
naomi gets her submission on charlotte, becky breaks it up so she can disarmher naomi
because submission wrestling goes so well in a four-way
charlotte spears tamina, it's pretty great
and then moonsaults her and naomi simultaneously
i talk a lot of shit about charlotte, but it's good to have her back
becky breaks a figure eight with a leg drop, which seems dangerous as fuck
everyone is dead
becky takes a samoan drop and then a splash from tamina, naomi breaks up the pin in a really cool way, lana pulls her out and gets fucked on, and then something i didn't quite catch put tamina down for a pin by charlotte
oh right
superkicked naomi, then took a big boot from charlotte
she does do a very big boot indeed
so yeah, charlotte/nattie at hiac
feel like we've seen this before
but hey, who am i to expect variation and originality in wrestling
and we fade on charlotte being like fuck yeah my dad isn't dead also something about a match
right, hopefully this'll get posted before no mercy
if it does, hmu on twitter @waruce if you don't already
but for now, i'm off to watch the rest of the week's wrestling before i run out of week
2 notes · View notes
baritonechick · 7 years ago
Text
In My Dreams (10)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5)
(Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9)
It all started in your dreams months ago. Looking at Gabriel now, you can’t help but think back to your old, naive life. Thinking about it was like reminiscing on a vacation you’d seen in a movie.
As you watched Gabriel’s mouth move and the apologies spilled out like a waterfall, you can’t help your focus shifting. The words hit your ear but don’t register in your mind. You notice the way his lips open and it reminds you of when he’d used to tell dumb jokes that had you laughing all day.
His eyes twitch amusedly, his eyebrow quirking up.
You narrow yours, puzzled.
“Are you listening to anything I’m saying?”
These were the first words you’d heard come out of his mouth in the last few minutes of your daydreaming.
You press your lips together, humming a low note under your breath.
“Not really,” you shrug.
The whole thing seems pointless to you. Anger, lying, betrayal, they all had nothing against pure joy. The world was so messed up and for what reason?
Gabriel had only wanted you safe, and despite his deceit, you feel a wave of nostalgia wash over you. Fighting and holding grudges were just too exhausting any more.
Gabriel’s features turn softer and less mischievous. His mouth opens again as you try focusing on the words.
“I really am sorry, Y/n,” the sentence falls from his lips with such self-hatred and resentment that it’s hard to not apologize yourself.
“I know,” you whisper, catching a glimpse of the glimmering wetness in his eyes.
Gabriel glances up from the floor to you. He was afraid, you could tell. Afraid of your anger, afraid of not being able to fix his wrongs, afraid of losing you.
“Still love me?” He grins slightly, mouth twitching upwards.
The next few moments are torturous for both of you. Gabriel not knowing your answer, despite his outward wavering confidence. And you, wondering whether to let his one mistake decide both of your lives.
You feel the deep pressure of your heart pumping throughout your body. The steady beat calms you and gives you a moment of clarity.
Your arms wrap around his shoulders, pulling Gabriel’s torso into yours. You press your forehead against his, wiping away a stray tear that falls down his cheek with your thumb.
Gabriel’s bright golden orbs gaze into yours. He’s shaking, if only a little bit, from worry.
“I’ll always love you, doofus,” you mumble, feeling the breath of Gabriel’s sharp exhale on your face.
You grin, moving your head so that your chin is leaning on his shoulder, hugging him properly.
His weight shifts as you press into him; he’s holding you steady, his hands firmly planted on your waist.
Gabriel made his mistakes, and both of you knew that. All that mattered now was now.
Your past, though altered and rearranged, did not define you. And Gabriel’s didn’t define his, either.
-
@sumara62 @just-a-touch-of-crowley @tricksterxangel @fandom-queen-of-the-world @captainannamerica @amyapathetic @emilyymichelle @dustycelt @the-latina-trickster @multifandom-sloth @thinkwritexpress-official @person-born-winchester @ourloveisforthelovely @wrenrun @a-michellerae-things @thewhiterabbit42 @archangelgabriellives @nobodys-baby-now @babypieandwhiskey-library @killerunicorn3 @shewhosindebt @becausefeelsthatswhy @blinded-by-forest-sunlight @wontlookaway @goodangelgabriel @cuddleskitty @cosettewinchester
65 notes · View notes
spynotebook · 7 years ago
Link
Image: CW.
Greeting, my Global Express Guaranteed packages of fun. Sorry “Postal Apocalypse” is a day late, but this time I did an extra extra-long version to make up for it—you get a free 50 percent more of my shenanigans! This week: The future of Batfleck! The future of Ghostbusters! The future of the Star Wars prequels! And I’m finally back to answering questions about where superheroes go to the bathroom.
Broken Arrowverse
Mike W.:
Greetings Postman! I had originally started watching the CW’s Arrow a few years ago when the first season debuted on Netflix, and continued with the second season when it was released (I prefer most shows in binge-watching form).
Friends who had watched the Arrow and Flash when they originally aired suggested that I start alternating episodes, because there were several crossover episodes throughout the season. I think that was good advice because some pieces of those crossovers may not have made sense taken out of the context of where both shows were at.
Now alternating between episodes of two shows wasn’t terrible. Occasionally I would forget to switch over and just hit “play next” and not realize my mistake until something regarding Flash happened on Arrow that hadn’t been mentioned yet in Flash, or vice versa. These spoilers, or even information that made no sense out of context bugged me every time!
The next set of seasons were released on Netflix, only this time the CW threw the Legends of Tomorrow in the mix as well! Alternating between three series at the same time seemed like a lot of work so I kept putting it off... only to have Supergirl get tossed into the crossover blender the season after that!
Is it worth watching all four shows concurrently for the crossover episodes? Bouncing back and forth seems like a lot of work, and I’m not sure if the order is consistent or if some shows missed episodes here and there , and if the ties between crossovers are important to each show then it seems like it might be frustrating if they were out of order. What do you suggest?
Honestly, as long as you account for the crossovers—and not even all of those—it can be reasonably uncomplicated for you to catch up. Sure, there’ll be a few references or asides to things that have happened in the other shows, but they’re few and far between, and never that important. Look, if they bug you they bug you, but trying to watch every episode of four TV series in the order they aired sounds like it would be infinitely more irritating. So I suggest trying this instead:
Arrow seasons one and two
Arrow season three, episodes 1-7
Flash season one, episodes 1-8 (episode 8 begins the first Arrow crossover)
Arrow season three, episodes 8-23 (episode 8 concludes it)
Flash season one, episodes 9-23
Arrow season four, episodes 1-7
Flash season two, episodes 1-8
Arrow season four, episodes 8-23 (same deal as Arrow s3 and Flash s1)
Flash season two, episodes 9-23
Legends of Tomorrow season one
Supergirl season one
Here’s where it gets a bit wackier, thanks to the “Invasion” crossover, and the Flash/Supergirl musical episode.
Advertisement
Arrow season five, episodes 1-7
Flash season three, episodes 1-7
Legends of Tomorrow season two, episode 1-6
Supergirl season two, episodes 1-8 (ep. 8 verrrrrry technically starts “Invasion”)
Flash season three, episode 8 (“Invasion” part two)
Arrow season five, episode 8 (“Invasion” part three)
Legends of Tomorrow season two, episode 7 (“Invasion” part four)
Arrow season five, episodes 9-23
Flash season three, episodes 8-16
Supergirl season two, episodes 8-16
Flash season three, episodes 17-23 (ep. 17 is the Flash/Supergirl musical)
Supergirl season two, episodes 17-22 (there’s no ep. 23)
Legends of Tomorrow season two, episodes 8-17
Since Arrow and Legends of Tomorrow are stand-alone after “Invasion,” it really doesn’t matter when you watch the rest of their seasons.
And yes, I recognize there’s technically a Flash/Supergirl crossover in seasons two and one, respectively, but it’s actually more of a cameo. Basically, the Flash shows up for an entire Supergirl episode; in the corresponding Flash episode, the Flash disappears for a couple of minutes while running around the multiverse; when he gets back to Earth-One he says, “Boy, that was weird!” or something. You 100 percent do not need to rearrange your viewing order to accommodate it, or anything else, in my opinion.
GIF
Let the Hate Flow Through You
Andrew M.:
Dear Mr. Postman, I have a habit of forming complicated non-binary opinions after reading a book or watching a movie. Instead of just loving or hating something and then either gushing or complaining for the next hour, I more often declare frankly whether I enjoyed it or not, and then want to talk about everything both positive and negative. This has led to me having a reputation among my friends as someone who “hates everything.” Anytime I see a movie, if I don’t totally love it, I’m attacked.
And if it sounds like I’m just a buzzkill, I’m not certain that’s the case, either. I’m often very positive, I just like full discussions where we can talk about what did and didn’t work. Sure, I can be negative (I didn’t enjoy Rogue One and actually fell asleep during it, while Flash throws me into a weekly blind rage), but not everything’s going to win you over.
This has even ruined some of my nerd interests. Despite being a huge fan, I fell completely out of Doctor Who and stopped watching years ago because any fans I met would get offended if the discussion got even a little gray. And it’s no fun to be in a fandom and not talk to anyone.
Am I too harsh on my media? Should I lie and pretend I love everything? Should I stop discussion altogether?
Andrew, this is a question close to my heart, as I too look at things with a critical eye and am frequently accused of being a hater (as are my coworkers, as is io9 as a whole). To be fair, I do hate many things, and I have often hated things professionally; however, anyone who reads io9 regularly and has object permanence should be able to see that all of us here love a lot more than we hate.
Sponsored
But once someone is convinced you’re a hater, it’s hard to shake the preconception. Say you and your friends watch Wonder Woman, and you find it flawless. Just perfect in every way. Your friends may be surprised at your opinion, but in a few weeks when you all watch Transformers: The Last Knight and point out it is senseless garbage, they’ll immediately call you a full-time hater again.
There’s not much you can do about this, unfortunately. Some people don’t understand thinking critically about art is really about understanding it fully, and gaining a deeper appreciation of it overall. They also don’t understand that even if you feel something has flaws, that doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t like it. The two aren’t mutually exclusive! (And since my opinions are broadcast to a wide audience, some of those people just want to have their own opinions validated, and feel attacked if I disagree, as if I’m calling them dumb. Then they attack me to make themselves feel better. I’m assuming your friends aren’t this bad.)
Advertisement
Advertisement
You just need to find friends who actually enjoy discussing the movie’s merits and flaws with you, and are secure enough that they can disagree with you without freaking out. They exist somewhere. At the very least, I feel totally confident in telling you that most io9 commenters on James Whitbrook’s Doctor Who coverage will agree with you that modern Doctor Who is not wholly without fault.
Image: Disney.
The Phantom Menace Pain
John H.:
Dear Mr Postman, how and when will Disney get around to fixing the Prequels? From a certain point of view, this has to happen. Those three movies are the dogs of the film franchise and they need to make a return on Disney’s investment. There’s no way The Mouse just lets them hang out, sucking in substantially less money than the other six.
First is the how – do they re-edit and make minimal reshoots? Hire one of the fan editors to use their ideas? Maybe fuse I and II together? Or maybe they declare the first three non-canon and start over?
Second is the when – wait until after George Lucas is one with the force? Until they run out of ideas for stand-alone movies? Wait a decade to build up nostalgia and demand?
Screwing around with Star Wars films is a time-honored tradition that Lucas himself started, so there’s really no reason not to. What’s your take?
Alas, you’ve begun with a false premise. While the prequels may make nominally less than the original trilogy—although nine times out of 10 you’re forced to buy all six Lucas movies at once, so it’s not actually much less—what they make is almost totally profit. Sure, there’s manufacturing costs and residuals to the cast and crew, but that’s built into the cost. Disney doesn’t have to touch a thing, and the prequels will continue to make a decent profit for them.
And there’s no reason to do anything to them when those resources would be better spent on churning out new Star Wars movies, each of which will probably make around a billion dollars. That’s a significantly better use of time and talent, with much higher returns. Basically, the prequels are profitable enough to keep, but not profitable enough to bother messing around with.
Advertisement
I also have a feeling that Lucas included a few legally-binding demands when he sold Star Wars to Disney, one of which could be “You can’t make any alterations to my Star Wars films,” which would be understandable if somewhat ironic. I also worry that he demanded Disney never release the non-Special Editions of the original trilogy, in revenge for all of us bitching so much about the prequels. I can’t know this for sure, but I am 100 percent certain that if Lucas had demanded these conditions before he sold them the franchise, Disney would have absolutely agreed to them.
Intentional Cowl
David O.:
Following on from the question about casting an old Batman at the start of a DC cinematic universe, do you think if the whole shebang went on long enough that we’d see a new non-Bruce Wayne Batman on the big screen?
Supposing he just gets too old or has one too many “Sad Affleck” moments to want to stick around, do you think WB would give us Damien, Terry, or even Dick under the cowl? Or do you think they’d sooner recast the part?
Affleck is totally gonna bolt long before WB is ready to reboot the DCEU. Since they’re trying to establish a continuity—and because trying to find someone to replace Affleck a la Kilmer and Clooney is a losing proposition—I’m betting that Affleck passes the cowl. Now, whether there’s actually a full Batman movie where this happens, or whether it happens in the first five minutes of the movie, or it happens offscreen before the film because Affleck is just so sick of this superhero bullshit depends on so many factors—Affleck, his contract, how fast WB manages to actually make these film—that it’s impossible to predict.
As for who he passes the cowl to, I’m calling it now: Damian Wayne. First of all, WB is planning on making a Nightwing movie; assuming this actually happens, they’ll want both Batman and Nightwing movie franchises. Meanwhile, Damian’s been Robin in the comics since 2009, and has been regularly showing up in DC’s animated movies and the very popular Injustice video games. He’s even in the recent animated Judas Contract movie, despite that being an adaptation of a Teen Titans tale from the ‘80s.
Advertisement
Advertisement
Basically, Damian has taken over the role of Robin in pop culture, and is more associated with the character than Dick Grayson or Jason Todd or Tim Drake at this point, and the DC live-action movies are much more interested in modern takes on these characters than any kind of legacy anyway. Also, tell me that “Batman has a kid he doesn’t know about who is raised by a league of assassins” isn’t the most DCEU thing you can think of. Ya can’t.
Image: Satellite of Love/Netflix.
Movie Sign of the Times
James M.:
With the return of MST3K to Netflix it would seem that a lot of opportunities could arise for the series that were not possible before. Netflix has the rights to a host of movies and I would enjoy seeing Jonah and the bots’ take on Michael Bay’s TMNT or Prometheus.
Is this likely or should the Satellite of Love crew focus on older, more obscure pieces?
As an uber-fan, I want—nay, need—MST3K to stick to older, cheesy movies. To me, it’s intrinsic to the show’s DNA, and watching the ‘Bots riff a big budget modern movie, no matter how terrible, would feel wrong. I know full well that Rifftrax does this for many big movies, including some genuine hits, and I love when they do it, and I love them, but I don’t think something like Prometheus would fit with MST3K’s low-fi, garage-built sensibilities.
Besides, the reason Rifftrax can do this is because they’re literally offering their own commentary track for the films. There’s absolutely no way Paramount or any major studio would consider licensing out their big films to MST3K for mocking.
Advertisement
A film would have to be so old and so terrible that giving it to Jonah and the ‘Bots would provide the maximum revenue stream, and it would still have to outweigh the shame of making a movie so bad it deserves to be put in the same league as Manos: The Hands of Fate, Monster A-Go-Go, the Coleman Francis trilogie, and the rest.
All that said, as time marches on, the revenue streams and hubris regarding these films will dwindle. Maybe in 2040, Crow and Tom Servo will be making fun of Transformers: Dark of the Moon, because it’ll feel as old and terrible as Starcrash seems now. But I imagine—and hope—that they won’t be running out of pre-1990 targets anytime soon.
Image: Sony.
Giving Up the Ghostbuster
Joe C.:
I think we can all agree that Ghostbusters 2016 was not a success. It did not make its money back, eliminating a sequel with this cast and crew. However, it wasn’t bad enough to kill the franchise. So I ask, where does Ghostbusters go from here?
Do they do another reboot with new characters again? A reboot with the original characters but recast? An animated movie is in the works, but word has been mum on that.
In my world of imaginary optimal outcomes, I would love to see a new GB cartoon. You get the original GBs back, add some new ones, make it take place after the video game (or GB2 for simplicity) and add adult humor. Some of the funniest moments in the original movie are the jokes that go over kids’ heads. Unfortunately an adult oriented GB cartoon won’t sell action figures, so that option’s probably off the table.
Right now this franchise is like a bunch of tangled Christmas lights; nobody knows how to untangle it, so fuck, why not just go out and buy a new set?
Well, that “new set of Christmas lights” is essentially what the movie reboot tried to be, and it didn’t work out. Rights holders Ivan Reitman and Dan Aykroyd may be eager to try again, but studios like Sony won’t be. You can hope for any incarnation of the team you want, but unless Bill Murray agrees to star—which he absolutely won’t, as the last 30 years have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt—studios aren’t going to take a chance on a new movie for years, probably more than a decade.
Advertisement
Advertisement
A cartoon is more likely, but not by much. Cartoon Network and Disney XD are way more interested in making shows based on their own properties (e.g. Adventure Time and that Gumball show, and DuckTales and Marvel’s stuff respectively) because if they own it then they get the profits if it’s popular enough to sell DVDs and merchandise. Toys aren’t as much of a factor as they used to be, because basically only the biggest, most popular franchises sell action figures nowadays—which is the same reason why Pokémon and Transformers are cartoons owned by other companies that CN and Disney XD are willing to air.
But if Reitman and Aykroyd license out Ghostbusters as a kid’s cartoon, that’s going to kill the chance of a new movie, because studios will feel it can only be a cartoon. I know this isn’t logical, but I’m not pretending it is; studios want PG-13 movies, so Hollywood execs will instantly decide if Ghostbusters is right for kids’ cartoons, it can’t possibly right to make a $150 million movie about (and the last movie didn’t help).
Reitman and Aykroyd know this, and the movie is recent enough that I’m sure they still have hope of getting a new live-action film. Even if a network wanted it, I doubt they’d be willing to do a Ghostbusters cartoon for the foreseeable future.
Image: Lucasfilm.
I Only Meant to Stay a While
Spessartine:
Dear Postman of the Future,
Although national anthems probably died in the societal collapse that you miraculously survived, I’m sure you vaguely remember some kind of patriotic ditty associated with sporting events and the like.
Here’s my question: suppose that Nerdom/Geekdom decided to declare itself an official something-or-other, and as part of the package, we had to choose one anthem for all us, to be played before every con, cruise, and filk concert for the rest of this century.
What would that anthem be? Is it a classical piece? Is it an instrumental mash-up of themes? Is it “I Ship It” ? What, in your notably nerdy opinion, could possible do the job?
Well, if nerd-dom declared its anthem it would either Luke’s theme from Star Wars, or “The Imperial March.” Just like when I called Star Wars the most quoted movie of all time, it also has the most instantly iconic and beloved music, and these are the two songs that the largest majority of nerds in the world would actually agree upon as a song to represent them as an entity. There’s no other music that comes close to be as universally accepted among our kind.
Advertisement
However, when I’m finally elected King of Nerds, I will be declaring “Twilight” by E.L.O. as the national nerd anthem, because it’s nerdy as hell, it’s catchy as shit, and has this amazing scifi music video:
That’s not an official music video, as you might suspect; it was the animated intro for the opening ceremony of a Japanese scifi n’ anime convention called Daicon IV, held back in 1983, which totally didn’t properly license the music but I assume were forgiven because it’s so amazing. Fun fact: The guys who made this went on to form Studio Gainax, including Evangelion creator/director Hideaki Anno.
Image: DC Comics.
  Flash in the Bed Pan
Jason W.:
Dear postman,
You seem like a man who knows a thing or two about fictional characters’ bathroom habits. So does Iron Man pee in his suit or what? Similar question: Does Batman use the rooftops of Gotham as his own personal outhouse?
I am dead certain that Iron Man’s suit takes care of all his waste, and drops it surreptitiously when he flies around so no one notices. I am merely very confident Batman’s suit also accommodates his number ones and number twos, probably—and more than a little disgustingly—containing them until he gets back to the Batcave. However, it’s worth remembering that Bruce almost never eats or drinks, and probably takes some ultra-efficient vitamin of his own devising that gives him the energy he needs with producing little to no waste, so such a thing would very rarely need to be utilized.
Advertisement
Advertisement
If you doubt me, please remember that Kevin Smith did once retcon Batman’s origin—in continuity at the time, amazingly—that Batman pissed his pants at one point during his Year One. If the legendarily prepared Batman was too young to have thought about this potential problem then, he certainly addressed it afterward.
Guys! Thanks for all the great questions! You keep emailing the postman, I’ll keep trying to answer more, So send your questions, concerns, arguments that need settling, pleas for advice, and whatever else the heck you want to [email protected]!
0 notes