#I was thinking about this last night and now I’m gonna make it a reality!

[hmhas-00]

Ch. 9

Hit Me Hard & Soft

A/N- Hi lovelies! I know it’s Wednesday, but yesterday was New Year’s Eve and I was busy throwing ass so I didn’t post. LMAO I will still be posting another chapter tomorrow (Thursday) as regularly scheduled though! 🤍

BPOV

“Billie, you wanna stop anywhere for food? It’s getting late and you barely ate lunch.” My mom walked over to my bunk, where I had been laying for the past 10 hours. I felt like shit all day. Mostly from the hangover of a lifetime that I was experiencing, but also from the things I said last night.

I shook my head, removing one of my AirPods. “Kinda nauseous.” I mumbled as she climbed in with me. I nuzzled my head into her arms.

“Have you heard back from Remy yet?” She asked, looking at my phone with me as I scrolled through tik tok.

“She called back but I didn’t answer.”

“Why not, honey?”

“Because…” I trailed off, not knowing exactly why. “She didn’t say goodbye.”

“Billie… Finneas told me about your fight last night. Don’t you think you were a little hard on her?” She said softly.

“I’m always putting her first, mom.” I locked my phone, setting it to the side. “She’s so unhappy there and she’s prioritizing it as if it were her dream job. I don’t get why she never listens to me.”

“I know that she’d never ask you to set your job aside… and she’d never ask you to leave what you love for her.” She looked at me with those wise eyes. The type that had seen all of the seasons of life, including mine.

“I know. But she’s not doing what she loves. I want her to do what she loves, here, with me.” I sighed.

“What do you think she loves?” She grabbed one of my cold hands and warmed it up in hers.

“I know she loves… film… directing… she loves to write scripts… and journaling.” I began to smile subconsciously. “She’s so creative, it’s like you opened Pandora’s box when she gets her crazy ideas.”

My mom nodded, letting me finish before commenting. “I think you love her so much, that you want her to achieve all of her dreams, just like you did. But do you remember when you danced? And you wanted to be a dancer?”

I nodded.

“And then you broke your growth plate, and you never danced again?”

“Yeah.”

“Look at you now. You’re a singer, songwriter, and you’ve been all over the world with Finneas… and everyone knows who you are. And everyone loves you. And have so many awards, you can’t even process it.”

“I know, but mom-“

“Honey, you love what you do. And you love that you make such a difference in all your fan’s lives. But you had no idea it would be this different back when you were dancing in that little studio.”

I shrugged.

“You didn’t. You couldn’t have imagined. It’s a whole different reality that you’re living, sweetheart. Sometimes you can’t see different perspectives when you’re in your own point of view. It’s so difficult to see beyond your own horizon… But you know what you did know?”

“What.”

“That Remy would be your biggest supporter no matter what. She cheered you on when you danced and she cheers you on to this day.”

“I know.”

“Honey, you gotta talk to her. She probably feels just as bad as you do. You both said things you didn’t mean.” She kissed my forehead.

“I’m mad at her, mom.” I stood my ground.

“Have you thought about the fact that you might just want to stay mad at her so you don’t have to miss her?”

It made sense when she said it out loud. What didn’t make sense is that I did miss her. I’m angry at her and want her here with me all at the same time. No closure, no hug goodbye, no apologies… the way I left was so unsatisfying. I wanted to hold her and tell her I’m sorry, while she probably apologizes even though she didn’t do anything wrong. It was mostly me. But I was mad at her, regardless. Because she wasn’t here, and it was easier to be angry, than be sad.

“I’m gonna get some sleep.” I put my one AirPod back in, grabbing my phone again. She kissed my forehead again and climbed out of my bunk.

“Let me know if you need anything, baby.”

I nodded, turning to face the wall. I drafted up texts to Remy, hovering over the send button, but deleted each one. As much as it hurt to think, I figured she didn’t want to hear from me.

This morning, I woke up at Finneas’ house, where he and Claudia repeated what I said to Remy.

I’m not going to lie, I cried for about an hour before getting on this tour bus when I realized Remy wasn’t coming to see me. I didn’t blame her, but at the same time, I would’ve gone to hug her goodbye no matter what she said to me.

I mean, I only want what’s best for her. All I ever do is look out for her. If she would only listen to me, she’d be so much happier. It’s soul crushing, every time she rejects my advice, my help… It feels like she’s rejecting me. And oh my, how it crushes my soul when she rejects me.

The truth is I’d do anything for her. I’d buy her a house, pay her parents enough each month for them to stop asking her for money, and bring her with me everywhere I go. I’ve asked her a million times to be my videographer, photographer, or anything at all she wants to be on tour. She refuses to accept money from me. She gets mad at me when I buy her expensive gifts, even on Christmas or her birthday. In a way, I loved that about her. I loved that she didn’t take advantage of me, or anyone else. I loved that she was a giver, but I wanted to give her more than she could ever imagine. The fact that she never lets me, hurts, even though it makes me respect her more.

God, I want to call her, tell her I’m sorry, and fly her out to Quebec so I can meet her there. But, I won’t. Because, she clearly doesn’t need my help, or my advice, or…. me. She said it herself, I’m a shitty friend. If I’m such a shitty friend, why am I the only one with her best interest in mind? I wasn’t trying to control her, or tell her what to do with her life. I was trying to help her reach her goals.

I wish I hadn’t drank so much yesterday. I wish we could’ve just gone to her apartment, spent our last night together in comfy clothes, eating snacks, and watching our show. I wish she had asked me to sleepover, so she could wake me up once or twice from tossing in her sleep, as she usually did around 2am. So I could cover her back up with the sheets she always kicked off, and feel her throw her leg over me, instead of all her satin-cased pillows.

I wish we hadn’t fought. I wish I would’ve kept it to myself. I wish I hadn’t said most of the things I said, in the way I said them. I felt nauseous thinking about how she might be feeling right now.

My thumbs lead me to her contact, hovering over the call button. But I stopped myself each time, feeling rejection and pain once again. Eventually, my eyes gave up the fight between them and my brain, sending me into a restless sleep.

♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡

About 12 days later, we performed in Newark, New Jersey.

“Dude, you were incredible out there! You don’t even need us!” Finneas hugged me backstage, properly greeting me. He came out to surprise me, and the rest of the audience, for a few songs in the setlist. I was ecstatic.

“I missed you so much, brudder! Thank you for coming.” I squeezed him, swaying side to side. I couldn’t contain my excitement.

“Are you kidding? I had to. I miss touring with you, this sucks.” He laughed. “How’ve you been?”

I let go and took a sip of my water. He sat on one of the seats, giving me his full attention.

“I’ve been okay.” I say, knowing whenever I have any free time at all, I spend it sulking and overthinking about what could’ve been. Touring is my favorite thing in the world, yet when my mind isn’t occupied by planning or rehearsals, it goes back to the same night.

“Let me rephrase. Have you been able to talk to Remy at all?” He shifted in his seat, crossing one leg over the other.

“No. I, uhh… I haven’t.” I shook my head, sitting next to him.

“Billie, it’s been like two weeks…”

“I know, I know. It’s just been so busy, and I’ve been struggling to even find the words- I just don’t have the time. I feel like it’s one thing after the other these days. I’m tired all the time, and when I have a couple days between concerts I just fall into this weird headspace.”

“Are you doing okay?”

“No. I’m not. I’m so happy when I perform. And then when it’s over it’s like I come down from this extreme high and it feels so anticlimactic.”

“That’s because you have no one to share it with.”

“That’s not true! I call you, and mom and dad all the time to-“

“Not the same thing. You know what I mean.” He tilted his head.

“Can we not talk about her please? I missed you I want to hang out.”

He nodded, “Yeah. Let’s go get some food.” He stood up and put an arm around me as we walked out.

At the restaurant, we ate and caught up. He showed me videos from his tour, and I did the same. I miss having him on tour, but no one could be more proud of him than I am.

Inevitably, the topic of Remy came back up, as I slid through my camera roll and came across a picture of us.

“Billie… we gotta talk about this.”

I slumped back into the booth, grabbing a French fry and munching on it.

“I don’t think you remember everything about that night, bro.” He propped his elbows up on the table and rested his chin on his hands.

“I know, I was an asshole, and I need to apologize-“

“Well, no. There’s more to it.” He squinted. I furrowed my brows, listening attentively.”

“I didn’t want you to feel like- I thought you remembered but I’m questioning now if you even do…” he rambled. I didn’t really know what he was talking about. The last part of that night was such a blur. It was my first and only black out I’ll ever have.

“What is it?” I shook my leg impatiently. I wonder if this was the reason she hadn’t texted me at all since I left.

Finneas looked at me like he didn’t know what to say. He struggled to find the words, making me more nervous by the second.

“Finneas… What did I do?” I asked him, my heart beating fast.

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

[reidrum]

exile

note: happy december i hope ur all doing well <3 a little something to hold u over until next friday when i start 12 days of reidrumas ok love u

summary: in which you and JJ are the ones held hostage in truth or dare

cw: spoilers for 14x15 truth or dare, hurt/comfort, angst, fem!reader, a heated makeout, reader wears a dress and heels, take a shot everytime reader tears up

wc: 3.6k

p.s. i am a glutton for praise if you couldn't tell from any of my fics but i love hearing what y'all think so plsplspls lemme know your thoughts in a comment or drop in my ask box!!!!

You’re not really sure where it went wrong.

When you joined JJ to pursue Casey, it was out of convenience. You both were simply closer to his last location. No one could’ve predicted he’d take you both hostage or make you play a twisted game of truth or dare at gunpoint.

No one could have predicted that Casey would force you and JJ to reveal details that hadn’t seen the light of day. He didn’t even care for those secrets, egging you both on to reveal something that would satisfy his masochistic itch. When he realizes that neither of you would break, he ups the ante by angling the gun to the middle of your head. JJ panics and speaks before she can even process what she said.

Because as you’re staring down the barrel of the gun clocked at your forehead, you realize the bullet isn’t inside the cylinder, it’s in JJ’s next words.

I’ve always loved Spencer.

You look at her mouth agape, blood draining from your face and tears springing to your eyes. She returns your gaze with one full of remorse and pity. To any onlooker, it would seem like a harmless confession. But they didn’t know the times you confided in JJ about your feelings for Spencer, the late nights at the office she’d stay with you giving advice and words of wisdom, when all JJ wanted was for her friend to be happy.

But now, how much of that can you believe to be true?

Casey seems to be satisfied with your reaction as he lowers his gun, with you reacting quickly grabbing your hidden second pistol and gunning him down. The only audible noise left is the heavy breathing of you both, the adrenaline rush starting to fade. JJ says your name remorsefully, but she’s interrupted by the rest of the team and police arriving to the scene.

The next thing you remember is sitting outside on the back of an ambulance rig, blankly staring out at your new reality. JJ loves Spencer.

You couldn’t compete, how could you? She was JJ. and you were, you. You had lost before you even began, you might as well toss the towel now.

It makes hugging Spence for what could be the last time—not to be dramatic—bittersweet. To know that this is an insignificantly normal moment he won’t remember, but one that you’ll play on repeat for the rest of your life.

Spencer holds you close into his chest with his arm smoothing out your back, “Thank god you’re okay, are you hurt?”

You scoff internally. Yes, but not in a way that can be fixed. In a way that you are not privy to yet, but once you are it will rip us to shreds.

“I’m fine, just a few scratches.”

He nods while examining you with his own mental checklist, “Okay, if your head starts hurting or your vision gets blurry you need to tell the EMT.” you nod as he adds on, “I’m gonna go check on JJ, you’ll be okay?”

No, no I won’t. There is no reality that exists where I can be okay anymore.

“I’m good. Go.”

He squeezes your shoulders and with another nod he walks over to where JJ rests on another ambulance rig, her arms instantly opening to welcome Spencer’s warm embrace. His back is facing you and JJ’s face rests over his shoulder, her eyes meeting yours in a look of sadness, grief. You look away before you can read more into it.

Wrapping the foil blanket around you tighter you let your head fall back and stare at the night sky, hoping there was a message out in the stars that would tell you what to do.

Your relationship with Spencer was, on the surface, nothing more than a friendship. He had joined the BAU only a year prior to you and when you came along it was clear from the first second that you two would be inseparable. Small talks in the bullpen quickly turned into mornings spent at the coffee shop, into weekly movie nights debating the superior science fiction franchise, to holding his hand when he needed a friend.

To Spencer, you were his anchor. Through all the trials and tribulations his life had dealt him, he knew he didn’t need to worry so much as long as you were around.

To you, Spencer was all consuming. He was threaded through every neuron and vessel in your body, intricately and impossibly tethered to you that it would take the work of the divine to painfully separate him from you.

Or, one Jennifer Jaraeu.

You don’t even realize tears are falling down your face until the EMT taps your shoulder and asks if anything has started to hurt again. Quickly shaking your head, you unravel yourself from the foil blanket and hand it back to her. You spare one last glance back at Spencer and JJ, eyes immediately zeroing on their joined hands, his thumb gently brushing the top of hers.

Your feet trudge you back to where the team is set up, one look to Emily and she’s already excusing herself from her conversation. She walks over to you phone up to her ear, saying something about you. You’re not really sure, it’s all water noise.

“Anderson will be here in about five minutes to take you home,”

You nod silently, not willing to make eye contact. Emily could sense your turmoil from a mile away, chalk it up to the Pisces moon in her but behind the hard exterior she put up there lay Emily, your empathetic friend who just wanted to hug your shattered pieces back together.

“You’ll be okay?” The second time you’ve been asked, your answer is still unchanged.

No. “Yeah.”

She sighs knowingly. The reason the two of you were such close friends was because of your similar ability to remain emotionally bottled up until it was too late, resulting in an outburst enough to take out armies and yourselves.

Anderson honks the car as he pulls up, alerting you of his arrival. Emily looks from the car back to you,  “I should go check on JJ.”

“Woman of the hour, it seems.” you chuckle under your breath.

Emily gives you that look, the conflicted ‘I’m sorry our friend made you feel this way, I still have to check on her.” look.

You brush her off, your casualness hopefully sending the message that the situation isn’t that deep. For her, you think.

The sound of the car unlocking rings through your ear as you hop in the passenger seat. Anderson tries to make small talk with you to no success, settling for the late night 00s radio station as he pulls up to your house, driving off as you bid him goodnight with a wave.

The breeze of your empty apartment greets you as you open the door, the air chillier than you’d expect for the season. You tug your shoes off harshly, placing your keys on the mail table next to the door. Your heart drops as you catch sight of a floral embossed card lying on top of your mail on the table.

Rossi’s wedding.

The one you were told to absolutely prioritize, the one in which JJ had helped you find a dress for, the one where you hoped you’d feel brave enough to tell Spencer how you truly felt.

You sigh deeply knowing you still had to show up and look presentable tomorrow despite being held hostage only 24 hours prior. But, maybe this is how you make a clean break. All this time you’ve been in love with Spencer and nothing has happened, despite all the signs you think you’re giving him. Maybe this is the opportunity to save Spencer from further tension, albeit unknown to him at this point, and let him finally be happy.

You knew about the Redskins game, how excited he was to go with JJ and yet it turned into something he hadn’t anticipated. You were new to the BAU at the time but your heart still ached for him, unable to understand how anyone would pass up on someone so special like Spencer Reid. It seems she’s finally come to her senses.

You take your dead phone out of your pocket to place it on the charger and you head into the bathroom to take a quick shower. The hot water loosens your tense muscles enough to prick tears in the back of your eyes, and you turn off the water before you can get too worked up. Once you’ve dried off you check on your phone on the bedside table seeing it’s turned back on, a flurry of missed texts and calls showing up.

11:14PM - Emily: Get home safe?

You heart the message and reply with a simple ‘Yes.’, scrolling to the next messages.

10:09PM - JJ:  Did you get home? 10:10PM - Missed Call from JJ 10:15PM - (2) Missed Calls from JJ 10:24PM - JJ:  I’m sorry, please let me explain. 10:25PM - Missed Call from JJ

You consider leaving her on read, not willing to entertain a conversation at this point, but you settle for an ‘It’s fine.’ for the sake of having communicated your safety.

10:13PM - Spence: Hey, where are you? 10:20PM - Spence: The EMT said you took off? Did you leave? 11:34PM - Spence: Emily just told me Anderson drove you back. You could’ve told me, I would have taken you home.

Your chuckle sadly at the text, Spencer hated driving but he would do it for you. It almost makes you think that your relationship could withstand the harsh weathering it’s been subjected to.

12:07AM - You: Sorry, phone died. I’m home now.

A response dings through a minute later.

12:08AM - Spence: I’ll go to the store tomorrow and get you a portable charger to keep in your bag. You should get some rest, I’ll see you tomorrow for the wedding right? Well, the wedding that’s today seeing as it’s past midnight. You know what I mean.

A single tear falls down your face at his rambling words. Oh, how you’d miss this once he learns what’s really happened.

12:10AM - You: I’ll be there. See you tomorrow, or today? You know what I mean. Good night.

12:11AM - Spence: Good night :)

—

You smooth out your dress before going up the steps, making eyes with Penelope at the top. You’re wearing a silk chiffon dress in purple, deliberately picked for Spencer’s favorite color, some strappy heels and some dainty jewelry painting you in as the picture of elegance.

“Hey hot stuff, look at you!” Penelope exclaims squeezing you tightly, “You look sooo pretty, doesn’t she look so pretty?” she gestures to the two men behind her you now acknowledge to be Luke and Spencer.

“Like a dream.” Luke agrees.

“Yeah,” Spencer clears his throat, “You look…beautiful.”

Penelope the Oracle of All Time quickly senses the 

atmosphere created and grabs Luke’s forearm, “Come on, you owe me that dance now!” She looks back and slyly gives you a thumbs up before dragging Luke further onto the dance floor.

Spencer slips into the vacated space to be right next to you, “How are you feeling?”

You know he’s asking about how you were held hostage at gunpoint, and not about how he’s about to become the loss of your life.

“ ‘M fine,” you swirl your champagne glass, “You?”

“Better now.”

A ghost of a smile creeps up on you, but you don’t let it travel further than that. He’s just being nice.

“Well, I’m just going to find the bathroom really quick.”

He holds a hand out for your glass, “Here, I’ll hold it.”

Your smile returns with bearings this time as you wander off in search of the bathroom. You’d feel embarrassed by how long it took you to find it but this place was massive, the Rossi money ran deep. Retracing your steps back to the main room you find Spencer and your glass not in the same place he was when you left. You scan the room looking for him and finally find him deep in conversation with—oh.

They’re too far for you to be able to hear them, but you can imagine that it’s the conversation. You watch JJ squeeze his forearm with affection and suddenly you can’t take it anymore. You couldn’t stand there and watch yourself become collateral in real time. Spencer turns at the sound of rustling up the spiral staircase followed by a door closing, catching the last glimpse of purple before it vanishes.

Spencer feels sick. He’s overwhelmed and overstimulated at the new information he’s learned about what really happened in the gas station. Then he comes to the realization of how walking in on him and JJ talking must have made you feel. His feet are carrying him up the stairs before he even realizes he’s made the choice. 

He finds you at the end of the hallway and calls out your name with a firmness you’d never heard from him. But you’ve cut all the strings of sanity by now, and you whip around and snap, “What?”

He doesn’t like that tone. “JJ told me what happened.”

You snort and don’t meet his eyes, “Oh, did she?”

His brows furrow, “Yes, she did.”

“And?”

“And what?”

And what? Is he serious? Did you have to spell it out for him? It borderlines sadist the way he’s putting you through the ringer.

“What happens now, Spencer?” you exasperate, “Is this the part where you tell me we can’t be friends anymore because she finally confessed?”

Confusion colors his face more, “Why wouldn’t we be friends?”

A halfway scream—groan leaves your throat in frustration. “Spencer, come on.”

“Honey, I don’t understand—“

“That! See, you can’t just say things like that knowing what has to happen, and expect me to react like a normal person.” you exclaim with hands flailing.

“I’m really confused—“

“Because I’m in love with you!” you cry, “Now do you see why?”

Time all but stills in the hallway you’ve found yourselves in. You don’t know how long you’ve been up here. It’s a little farther down from the stairways so there’s no threat of evesdroppers, but with how worked up you’re getting the proximity renders itself useless. The faint muffle of animated conversations and lively jazz music fills the silence between you and Spencer, who looks like…well, actually for once you can’t decipher what he’s feeling. 

He looks like he’s about to open his mouth when you both turn your head to the ascending footsteps—JJ looking for you, or Spencer probably, to come cut the cake. Spencer darts his eyes between the walls, a nervous tic you’d caught on to, before you realize he’s looking for a door and pulling you inside one. You yelp at the unexpected force and quickly quiet down again. The light switches on and based on the furniture you conclude that it’s a powder room, because of course Rossi’s venue has a powder room.

It’s a tiny room, big enough for a vanity table and a chaise lounge. Small enough to not have any room to leave without going past him. You stand an arm’s length away from him, the faint muffles of talk and music replaced by your sniffling. You shouldn’t have come, you start to realize. Having to say goodbye to him in person might actually rip you apart. Your chest weighs heavy with that familiar sad irony of mourning someone who hasn’t even told you they’re leaving yet. Preemptive measures that turned into routine practice. 

You sniffle, “Look, it doesn’t matter anymore, not that it ever did. I’m sorry I just sprung it on you like that, that was unfair. JJ…I thought JJ was my friend, I guess she is still but I’m not too sure now. But…she’s JJ and I’m just me and I know both of your pasts with each other so obviously it would be her. I’m making this too big a deal, I think. I just want you to be happy, in whatever capacity that looks like and I know it’s not with me so—“

Spencer stops your rambling by silently reaching out for your arm to pull you right in front of him, his hands reach to cup your face up to his, thumbs naturally swiping away the tears. He says your name like a coo, with a softness and delicacy you don’t feel you deserve right now. It hurts your heart entirely.

“Please don’t make this harder than it is.” you whisper through soft sobs.

You don’t know when it happens. Maybe in between scrunching your eyes or staring at your feet—but it happens. A cold pressure, then warmth, his lips are warm when he kisses you. A little surprising that he still tastes like Penelope’s sugary mocktail from earlier. A welcome pressure on your face as he holds you in place, as if you’d slip away further if he let go.

He stills in place, thinking he’s overstepped, until you finally remember that his lips are on your lips. You return the force back with as much as he gave you and let your arms loop around his neck, his own sliding from your face to take purchase on your hips.

That’s when Spencer starts kissing you. His hands grip your hips and tug you even closer as he deepens the kiss, plunging deeper back into the plush of your thighs to sit you on top of the vanity table. He slots himself between your legs, your hands wandering up to tug at the hairs on the nape of his neck. A soft groan leaves his throat and he detaches from your lips to amble down your neck, leaving a trail of lovebites in its wake.

This is wrong, like so wrong. You’re practically opening a salt box and pouring its entire contents on your wounds. But dammit, if this is the only time you’ll ever get to kiss Spencer, you’re sure as hell going to make the most out of the fleeting moment.

He mumbles something in between kisses to your neck, you instinctively ask him to say it again not expecting a response, and you immediately regret it as you feel his presence get lighter as he pulls away.

One more kiss to the spot behind your ear, he feels you preening below him and makes note of this—amongst everything else—for later, he pulls back to meet your eyes again.

“I love you.”

Your face drops, “That’s not funny.”

“I’m not being funny.”

Yes he is, he has to be. Because the universe in which Spencer Reid allows a piece of—the whole of it according to him, unbeknownst to you—his heart to be fully yours is not this one. You’ve never had luck like that.

“Then you’re lying to me, and that’s worse.” your voice cracks, Spencer feels the same crack imprinted on his heart.

“Sweetheart, I’m not lying. I love you.” He says it again to your surprise, the tenderness of his touch returning as he deliberates how to disarm you. The defensiveness you have isn’t surprising to him, it’s the note of insecurity in your tone he isn’t ready for, like you are unable to even believe it could be you. 

You’re a dandelion, he thinks, the puffballs teetering attachment to their base with one wrong move sending them astray into the wind. He’s wading treacherous weather but he finds that for you he’d do anything and everything eyes closed if he had to.

“…Really?” you ask meekly. He nods slowly, never breaking his gaze on you. “But…JJ.”

His eyes soften and he nods in understanding, “There was a point in my life where, yes that was all I was waiting to hear,” he starts, “But, I am no longer at that point in my life anymore. I’m here now. She knows that.”

You’re unconvinced, Spencer can see it clear as day. Maybe it’s more apprehensive than unconvinced, but no one could blame you. How are you to believe anything when you went through what you did in the last 24 hours? You look defeated if anything, like you’d accepted your fate of always coming second place.

Spencer racks his brain hard trying to think of a way to show you that the podium doesn’t even exist, it’s only ever been you.

He pulls out his wallet and rifles through the many things inside, finding what he’s looking for before handing it to you. You look up at him in confusion when you make it out to be a movie ticket stub from the Korean film festival you’d both attended a little after you started at the BAU, the first time the two of you ever spent time together. The edges are soft and smoothed out as a result of time, like it’s been held and comforted for many days.

“There’s more in my apartment.”

“Movie ticket stubs?” you ask bemused.

“Commemorations of you,” his fingers brush the span of your arm up and down soothingly, “I probably have something for every time we’ve ever hung out. If it reminds me of you, I have it.”

Tears well up in your eyes for the umpteenth time, a few spilling over rapidly.

“Hey no, you’re not supposed to cry at that.” he whispers softly between you, his thumb taking the rightful and familiar place under your eye to catch the tears.

You shake your head, “I don’t think I’ve ever been loved like this.”

His heart tightens, “No? Well, I think you have to get used to it now.”

“No choice?” you pout.

He catches the timbre of humor in your voice and smiles widely. He hugs you tightly, pressing your head into his chest, “I guess you don’t have to. Just because you’re not used to it doesn’t mean I’ll stop. If you’re like this now, wait till you see the box I have of our things.”

You sniffle again, your head reeling as your tears stain his shirt and the scent of him invades your being. It’s overwhelming and all consuming, just how you know Spencer to be. He doesn’t expect you to believe him right away, you’ve been through so much that it would be unfair to ask that of you. You don’t know what tomorrow holds, or even the rest of this night, but one thing you have learned is that to Spencer you are known, and therefore you are loved.

[luludeluluramblings]

tbh I’m more intrigued by the idea of college-age Reader getting pregnant while unmarried still living in the manor and NO ONE has any idea who the father is (maybe she does, but she’s withholding that for now or maybe he’s not in the picture?) and it’s the biggest freak out ever. that just seems so fucking wild and potentially hilarious to me. and nobody noticing she’s pregnant until she’s farther along? or them finding out randomly?? imagine:

damian: you look pregnant. what is wrong with you.

reader: i am pregnant though

the batfam: ????????!!!!!!!!!! and then she proposes that now that she’s old enough and starting a new chapter in her life raising a baby and all she should just move out! (cue everyone disliked that meme)

Neglected!Pregnant!Reader x Yandere!Bat Family

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

Part Two ☁️ Part Three ☁️

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

A/N: Okay, I think I'm about to become a Pregnancy!Reader writer. Which, I'm not mad about. Kind think it would be fun, but I know the trope isn't for everyone. So, if it’s not your thing, I’m sorry.

A/N: Some of this is based off of things from my own pregnancies.

A/N: Oh, no. Frick, I wanna make this a series now. Check the bottom, cause I have a plot idea for this and I want opinions on it. I spiraled, this was supposed to be a quick blurb. I got carried away. Gonna build up to the yandere shenanigans because I’m turning into a writer with a million WIPs.

A/N: Tagging @skay-ali because I like their The Forgotten Daughter series.

Warnings: Fem!Reader, Very minor Yandere Themes (like barely there), minor NSFW, graphic descriptions of pregnancy and medical procedures, Vomiting.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

You don't really remember that night it happened. But, it only happened once and after you swore you'd never drink again. The hangover after that night had been one of the worst of your short life.

In fact, the sticky feeling between your legs and bitter taste on your tongue had also added to your decision to swear of these college parties. Luckily, you have enough of your memory to remember that you and your partner from that night had both been willing even when wasted. Even if you couldn't remember their name. Or, their face.

It takes you a while to notice. One missed cycle wasn't anything to freak out about, and it was exam season. The stress had probably caused the nausea. It wasn't until you were heading down to breakfast one morning and smelled the burnt eggs in the kitchen that Stephanie had burnt that you realized something might be wrong.

You, of course, ignore it. It was just a fluke. Burnt eggs weren't appetizing to anyone. But, then you nearly faint walking through the perfume section after looking to restock your favorite bottle of scent.

The doctor you finally went to another week later had asked about your cycle and the last time you had been intimate with someone. That's when the reality of things started to set in. You hadn't even thought to do an at home test to check. Your doctor was kind though, saying they could just do a quick urine sample and blood test just to make sure. It might be something else.

The next few minutes felt like ages. But, when the Doctor came back to tell you the positive results you panicked. Not as in panicked as in you broke down, but you threw up a mask. You're good at doing that. You must get it from your father.

When she asks you if this is good news or bad news you can't help, but blurt that it's good. Great even. Which causes her to beam at you. Before you know it, you're being handed a complementary diaper bag with formula and tiny bottles while being given the rundown on your possible due date and future appointments. You nodded you're head along with the information, sliding the paper's into the diaper bag as she hands them to you.

But, then she turns to you with delight and tells you that the Ultra Sound tech has an opening and you're just far along enough they can do your first ultrasound. It'll only be a thirty minute wait.

After nodding along once more, you go back into the waiting room. Holding your new bag with white knuckles and falling into deep thought.

This is happening. But, how? Are you even fit to be a parent? You've hardly ever been loved. How are you going to love someone else? How are you going to do this? What will the family think? What will your few friends think? You don't even remember who their father is. This is impossible. You're not ready. You'll never be ready. That churning feeling is in your stomach again and you feel that single piece of toast you had for breakfast about to come back up.

The thirty minutes fly by with those thoughts in your head. They still swirl in your head as your go back into the ultrasound room.

It's dark, but the tech had few soft lights on in the room. Its actually kind of... cozy.

What's not cozy it the tech telling you that she's going to stick a wand up your bits so you could see the baby. Your eyes screwing shut at the cold invasive feeling.

But, when you open them, she turns the screen for you to see. It's almost amazing how fast the image appears on the screen.

And, their moving. Actually moving. You end up laughing at the sight, causing the screen to flicker and the little blob to move. When the nurse plays the heart beat you can feel yours stuttering in your chest.

Watching them bounce in there with each laugh, it’s easy for the next words to spill out of your mouth.

“Oh, I’m gonna love you.”

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

Every step after that feels remarkably less lonely. It’s not just you anymore. You have someone who you’re going to love.

You don’t bother telling the Family. Bruce would just lecture you on being reckless while the other’s would judge you for it.

Honestly, you don’t care if they did. This is your baby.

Funnily enough, for a house full of detectives and highly intelligent vigilantes no one actually notices. Not even Cassandra. It’s a bit insulting how much they don’t pay attention. But, your symptoms soon make it so you don’t care.

The waves of exhaustion, the way everything smells strong and certain things make you want to gag. Heartburn that burns your throat. The subtle cravings that make you cry when you can’t fulfill them. Thankfully you finished your exams because you were too tired to even move from your bed most mornings due to strange nightmares.

Eventually, someone does notice. And, it’s not anyone you would expect.

Of all things you cried over on the pantry floor, it had to be salt and vinegar chips. They hadn’t been what you wanted, but it was too late to go get french fries and a smoothie at this hour in Gotham. And, you stuffed them down your throat with angry tears.

It was Stephanie of all people to find you. You gave her a sharp glare when she seemed to grow wide eyed. Normally you avoid her gaze, but you were quite pissed about having chips in your mouth and not fries. As her eyes grew wider, your nose wrinkled in further annoyance at her.

Just as you’re about to tell her off, she speaks.

“Do you— um, want something else?”

It’s pitiful how fast your snarl turns into a pleading pout.

“Yes, please. I want fries. I want Jokerized fries so badly.” You practically blubber when she gives you a pointed nod towards the car garage.

It takes you a bit to get off the floor despite the fact that your bump is hardly noticeable, but Stephanie noticed the extremely subtle curve.

“How far?” She asks hesitantly, looking from the bump to your face.

You also hesitant for a moment, looking up at her with tears on your cheeks and a serious look in your eyes. “14 Weeks.”

Her eyebrows raise and a wiry pout appears on her face. “Damn. You’re smaller than I was at that time, so not fair.”

The slightly surprised that information gives you almost makes you pause. But, if you had you would’ve probably toppled back down to the pantry floor.

“Explain on the way?” You ask, still a bit nervous. The two of you had never been close since you moved into the manor less than a handful of years back.

“Sure.” She grins, leading the way.

As you both walk, she whispers. “Does Bruce know?”

“Don’t know. Don’t care.”

“Ah.” Stephanie managed to hide the winces from you.

When you two finally make into the car, you’re already feeling better about life. You’re about to have your fries, and possibly a shake too. You didn’t expect to have any company, but surprisingly it’s nice.

Stephanie drives, and get the fries to go. Munching on them as Stephanie drives you back to the manor. Her sharing her own pregnancy experience.

"Wait, so Tim dated you when you were pregnant with another dudes kid? Babe, forget being me being small, you got game."

"Damn right I do." She says smugly, stuffing her own fries in her mouth. "So, um, do you wanna talk about what happened with you?"

And, just like that your mood shifts.

"No."

"Oh- Oh! I'm sorr-" She starts up, and you can tell she's assuming the worst.

"Don't you start, Stephanie." You interrupt with a pointed glare. "I don't want to talk about it because it's none of y'all's business."

That makes her cough on her french fry. "Wait, wait, what do you mean? Don't you want help?"

"Nah, I got it." Comes your stubborn reply, glaring out the window as you dip your fry into the cheesecake milkshake.

"... You should tell Bruce." She suggest after a moment of awkward silence.

"What? So he can ignore his grandchild, too?" Your filter is none existent with your hormones all out of wack.

"He doesn't ignore you-"

"Oh, yes the fuck he does." Your firmly state. Growing a bit heated. "Y'all all figgin do."

Stephanie is about to roll her eyes, chalking your words to you just being unreasonable. But, then the thought starts to creep upon her with each passing building when she realizes this is the first time she's actually hung out with you. Ever.

"I'm sorry." She murmurs to you. The silence falling over you both as the cars continues back to the manor.

"... I'm only forgiving you because you bought my fries..."

"Really?! That's all I had to do?"

"What? I was desperate for this- Wait! Hang on. Stop the car. Stop the car-"

"What? Why?! Are you- OH! Fuck!"

You ended up regurgitating up all the fries you had just eaten. Right into your lap.

"Oooo, that's nasty." Stephanie says, cracking the windows.

"Is it bad that I still want to eat them?" You mumble to her, eyeing the remaining fries.

"Please, please, wait till we get back or I'm gonna hurl, too."

"Fine." Comes your reply. Your eyes drifting shut for a moment. "If you tell anyone I'm gonna tell Cassandra about your crush on her."

"How did you- Frick, you are more like Bruce then I realize." Her voice going from panic to begrudging realization.

"Now, that's offenseive."

"Oh, come on. You're kids gonna have some of Bruce's DNA too."

"Eww. Eww. Don't remind me."

The banter between you both coming back with ease.

When you make it back to the manor, parting ways for the night. You feel at ease. You may have made have finally made a new friend in all this and gained a pillar of support.

As you shower and finish off your fries, you can't help but think about the apartments you had been looking at. Wondering what Stephanie will thinking of your nursery ideas.

Down in the cave, Stephanie slowly walks down the steps. Realizing this might have just gotten complicated.

"You okay, Steph?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay.”

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

A/N: Soooooo, what if, and hear me out, wee add some baby daddy drama to this?

A/N: Please note, I write a Reader that DID NOT grow up with the Bat Family, which means we could have some really really juicy drama here. But, we could just keep the options limited to just close friends of the Bat family.

A/N: What do y'all think? Baby Daddy drama? One of the Bat Boys the Daddy? One of the other vigilantes? Should I do a Baby Daddy poll? I just feel like this is an opportunity.

A/N: Also, Stephanie was a teen mom in some comics from my research. Which I think adds to this and gives her a better chance of bonding with Reader until shit goes down.

[princesssmars]

you sometimes forget how… slightly obsessive, violet could be. nsfw.

when you were younger you had a love hate relationship with her tendency to become so completely fixated on something. staying up for hours at night thinking about their next score, holding a grudge for years against anyone who got piss drunk and pissed off vander in the bar, planning and fidgeting over the perfect way to ask you out for weeks before you finally took the step yourself.

even if it got her into danger, got her and her siblings into a temporary struggle that made your heart stall with the thought of nearly losing them, you always reminded her that you thought her fixation on things was cute, and a useful tool about half of the time.

(you even said that the trait reminded you of powder, always blabbering to you for as long as she could talk about her new ideas for gadgets and bombs. the girl was overjoyed in sharing something in common with her big sister, immediately climbing on her back to ramble about something new.)

but then you actually you lost her. you lost all of them. and you wished you had told her that that insecurity she had, all the insecurities she had, were stupid and inconsequential to how perfect you thought she was.

but maybe you’ll get the chance to tell her (and tell jinx that yeah, you were right, i did start seeing ghosts too) because a scarily realistic replica of your ex is standing in front of you and before you can shoo it away she’s hugging you so tight you think your ribs will break.

you follow as ekko gives her the tour of the firelights base, admiring each and every way she’s changed. she’s taller, obviously stronger, wearing a prison uniform that you don’t if you’re allowed to say looks good on her and a red jacket she stole from some guy because of course she did. you stifle a laugh as she tells the story and she smiles at you, indiscreetly wrapping your hand in hers.

it’s obvious by the look on his face ekko is so going to tease you about this later, but you don’t get a chance to care when she turns to you and ask where she and her enforcer friend can sleep. and janna knows you want to offer for her to sleep with you, but it’s been years and you don’t want to make her uncomfortable so you lead her and caitlyn to the newbie dorms.

but it seems like you’ve forgotten just how damn stubborn she is, because not even half an hour later a loud banging at your draws you from your bed, her flushed and nervous face shocking you into silence.

she asks to come in, but with her it’s always more like a demand then a question. you try to ignore the burning feeling of her eyes trained on you as you lead her to your bed, rolling your eyes as she aggressively flops back onto it.

“holy fuck, i haven’t been on something this soft in years. i think i’m gonna fall asleep right now.”

“i wouldn’t be mad if you did.” well, you’d be a little upset. you have so much to talk to her about everything, anything that’s happened since she disappeared. granted a lot of it was bad but there were still a few things you think would cheer her up. she’d already told you enthusiastic she was to eat jerichos again, just wait till she found out that-

you must of zoned out for a minute because you’re shocked back to reality by soft lips pressed to yours, vi’s bandaged hand cupping your cheek like you’ll fade into dust if she lets go. you mentally kick yourself in the head for not responding quicker when she pulls away and looks at you with that sad puppy look she gets.

“i, i’m sorry. it’s just, you were staring at me for a while! and it’s been so long since i’ve seen you and i don’t even know what we are or if we’re still girlfriends but you’re even more beautiful than the last time i saw you-“

you cup both of her cheeks in your hands,(maybe a little too hard) give her a second to back away if she wants, and pull her back in. her arms wrap around your waist and she lets out a whimper when your hand travels to the back of her neck to pull her closer and closer-

and now it’s around one hour? maybe two? it’s a while later, and as her hand travels back into you for the fourth time, yeah, you’re starting to remember how obsessive she could be.

“vi, baby - oh my gods, y’know you can slow down!” your voice pitches when her fingers, her beautiful long and big fingers push up against that spot inside you, her other hand keeping your hips down when you involuntarily raise them off the sheets.

“don’t think i can, princess.” she groans into your breast as she sucks another path of bruises down your chest, slate eyes amused at how your hands grip the bed like it stole from you, how your mouth opens so cutely before you bite your lips to hold back your sounds.

her mouth finally closes around your clit and the increased sensitivity from your past orgasms combined with the almost growling sound she makes when she tastes you sends you right over the edge, thighs clamping around her head as she carries you through it.

the rubbing of her rough hands over your thighs and her gentle words of praise merry drag you into the beginnings of a soft slumber.

until you can feel the damn brute lift your legs onto her shoulders and stick her tongue inside you, laughing at your shocked squeal and resumed grip on her hair.

“besides, we’ve gotta make up for lost time, don’t we?”

writing a drabble based on the fic you’re writing instead of finish the fic i’m such a genius like 😍😍 glad her tag is coming back but i want content coming out like a factory line ok everyone get to work 🙏🏽

[luveline]

Hotch request! Please sir, can I have a Hotch request? I'm trying to follow what you said about comfort but also Hotch being angry. So I get low blood sugars cause of my diabetes and I'd love if you wrote something about them being on a case and BAU!Reader is really busy trying to get stuff done, so she has a bad low blood sugar and sits down but one of the local officers thinks she's slacking off so she tries to keep going and Hotch comes in and defends her, making sure she has everything she needs and doesn't faint. Love you <3

ty for requesting!! hope this is okay <3 fem, 1.3k

“I understand.” You frown, phone pressed to your ear hard. “I totally understand, but it’s really important that I get to talk to her.” 

“She’s on heavy medication,” the nurse replies, unimpressed by your asking, “she wouldn’t be much use anyhow.” 

“I understand, but–”

“Listen, I’m sorry, but we have a lot to do here. I’m sorry we can’t help. Bye.” 

You groan in frustration, bringing your phone from your ear to see the Call Disconnected notification flash across your screen. How are you and the team ever supposed to get answers if nobody wants to help? Your head rushes. You kid yourself into believing it’s annoyance like a hot flash, you’ve been sweaty for ages, but then reality cuts through. What usually makes you sweaty and dizzy?

“Where’s my test kit?” you murmur to yourself. 

The door opens while you’re looking through your bag. 

“Agent,” Officer Debs greets, a stout, sturdy woman with sharp eyes, “any news from Georgetown Psychiatric?” 

You rummage frustratedly through your things. You should know better than to misplace your test kit. Doesn’t matter. You’ll just have to eat something quickly before you get any worse. “Uh, no, nothing they could help me with.” 

“Did you call them?” 

Your eyelids are getting heavier. You sit down on impulse, worried you’re gonna fall if you stay standing. “Yeah, I called them.” You’ve had diabetes for long enough to know what to do, but it’s always harder than it felt the last time when your blood sugar drops. It can be so sudden. 

Realising you might need help, you clear your throat, about to ask Officer Debs if she can get the glucose tablets from your bag. You should’ve grabbed them —your thoughts are starting to thicken like someone’s poured cornflour into your skull. 

“Is now the best time for a break?” Officer Debs asks. 

You focus very hard on bringing your attention into the present. “No, sorry,” you say, standing up. You open your phone and direct to the contacts page, clicking your favourite contact at the very top. 

Don’t know m where test kit is, you text clumsily. Hotch should still be in the precinct. Do u have it ? 

“I hope you’re texting someone about the case,” Officer Debs says sternly. 

You shove your phone into your pocket. “Um,” you say, getting confused now, and not wanting to be shouted at. You grab for the page of phone numbers you’d been making your way through, can’t get your hands to work. “I wasn’t. But I’m getting to it.” 

“We really don’t have time to waste.” 

“I know, but my blood sugar–”

She talks over you. “What’s the point in all our officers working day and night when you FBI agents can’t be bothered to put in the same effort?” Her voice rises. “It’s ridiculous!”

“It’s not ridiculous, we’re trying our best just like you are.”

“Clearly not!” 

“My blood sugar,” you say, more insistently. “Stop shouting at me.” 

The door opens quickly, creaking hard on its hinge. Hotch doesn’t slam it open, he never slams anything, but he doesn’t hesitate either. “I have it, you left it in the car after you tested this morning,” he says, your kit in his hand. He gives Officer Debs a surprised up and down. “Who’s shouting?” he asks, unimpressed. 

You wouldn’t like to be on his bad side. “Hotch, I need a tablet.” 

If he’s shocked at your lethargy, he doesn’t say. He ignores the officer from that point on. “Yes, I think so, too.” 

Hotch is more efficient than you were, grabbing your tube of glucose tablets and shaking one out into his hand. “Can you take it yourself?” 

“You want to chew it for me?” you ask. 

He tips it into your palm. “Very funny.” 

He opens the test kit on the desk and starts to extract the pieces. It’s quite complicated, especially for people unfamiliar with it, but you’re pretty sure Hotch learned how to use it the day he knew you had diabetes. He wipes his hands with an alcohol wipe and presses a test strip into the meter, careful not to touch the end, before wiping your finger with a new wipe, and readying the lancing stick. 

“Gonna stick you, okay?” he asks quietly.

“Mm,” you hum, the glucose tablet like chalk between your teeth. 

He sticks you. Some days it feels more painful than other days, but today it’s like a pinprick in a haze. He squeezes your finger, wipes the first drop of blood with a cotton ball, and dips the test strip into the second bead of blood, careful not to jab your cut. 

In the five seconds it takes for you to get a result on the meter, he kneels down, pressing another cotton ball to your finger to stem the flow of blood. “Good,” he murmurs to you. The meter flashes on the table. “Not so good. Fifty nine, huh? How’d that happen?” 

You shake your head slowly from one side to another. “I’ve no idea.” 

“Okay. Well, that tablet’s not gonna do it, honey. Do you have any gels?” 

“No,” you say apologetically. 

“That’s fine. I’ll get you a drink.” 

Officer Debs clears her throat. You may be foggy, but her awkwardness is palpable. “I’ll get it.”

“It has to be full sugar. Coke, if you can,” Hotch says. She nods in understanding and leaves in record time. Hotch turns back to you, his severity melting away. “She was shouting at you?”

“Tried to tell her about my blood sugar. She told me we’re not here to waste time.” You close your mouth, licking the glucose off of your teeth.

“How did you get so low?” he asks.

“Must have done something wrong this morning. Am I okay?” 

“We’ll see. I think you’ll be alright.” 

“Don’t usually get so dizzy.” 

“When was the last time you were below seventy?” 

“Don’t know,” you mumble. 

Hotch peels the cotton ball from your finger and packs your things away cleanly. “Let’s see how you feel in ten minutes. After your coke. Now… what did the Officer say to you?” 

He’s getting his facts straight. Again, you wouldn’t like to be on his bad side. You relay your conversation, Officer Debs hadn’t even been that bad, just uppity, stuck on her own assumptions rather than willing to listen when you’d needed a hand. Her lack of empathy could’ve really affected you. Low blood sugar is no joke. 

You tell him, savouring in the warmth of his hand on your leg, how uncaring he is to be kneeling in front of you on the precinct floor. He frowns at you long and hard. 

By the time Officer Debs returns, he’s on his feet again. “A word?” he asks her. 

You don’t hear all of what he’s saying through the door as you sip your coke. He doesn’t shout, but he defends you with a heavy gravity. Officer Debs speaks up and he cuts her down, something about understanding, and then a more clear telling off, “I don’t want to hear about Agent L/N’s performance from you again. She’s my agent, and if she needs a break, she’ll take one. It’s none of your concern.” 

“I understand.” 

You feel much peppier when he comes back in, though he appears less so. “You’re nasty,” you say, smiling, happy to be defended, and happier to know you’re not gonna pass out.

He crosses the room. Still frowning, he takes your face into his hands, and he leans down inch by inch, until he’s pressing a soft, soft kiss to your lips. You barely have time to close your eyes before he’s pulling away, thumb pressed into your soft cheek. “Nobody gets to shout at you. Especially over your blood sugar.” 

“It’s usually you telling me off for letting it get low,” you mumble. 

He stands up straight, leaving you wanting for another kiss you won’t get, hands stolen back from your cheeks. “You’re ageing me prematurely. Drink some more coke, please, sweetheart.” 

“What do I get in return?” 

He touches your face briefly, as much of a promise as you’re going to get. 

[nanaslutt]

thinking about Shiu secretly getting off to you sucking Tojis cock while he’s on the phone with him :3

minors and ageless blogs dni (18+)

the poor overworked man has been crushing on his clients pretty little girlfriend for so long, craving to touch you for so long. each time you run up to the divorced black haired man in your short little skirt to greet him after a hard job, he’s unable to stop his eyes from dropping to your ass when the man lifts you up into his arms and spins you around. of course Tojis girlfriend didn’t wear shorts under her skirts..

so when Shiu had to make a last minute call about a job for toji late a night, he was surprised when the man called, and even more surprised to hear you gagging on his cock in the background. your noises were so loud and vulgar, it was like you weren’t even trying to stay quiet.

“y-yeaahh, yeah i’ll take the job, sounds easy enough.” Toji said nonchalantly, his voice deeper and more relaxer than usual. “what about you baby? you think I should take this job?” Toji asked you, who was currently occupied with his fat cock stuffed down your throat.

Shiu honed in his ears, not wanting to miss a single sound. he prayed the shuffling in the background would quiet down so he could hear you gag on Tojis cock better, giving him a more vivid fantasy to work with as he groped himself over his pants, his cock leaking precum inside his boxers.

a muffled answer could be heard from the other side of the phone, followed by a loud gag and a cough, making Toji groan before he laughed. “yeah, my girl thinks I should take it too.” Toji said, emphasizing a few words that could be taken as suggestive in the right context.

Shiu felt like his head was spinning, he gripped his cock harder through his pants, wrapping his hand around the outline of his cock harder as he imagined your hand in place of his instead. Shiu let his head tip back against his sofa, his legs spreading naturally as he got more and more involved in his fantasy.

“hey, you still there?” Toji said, his voice making Shiu jolt back to reality, his hand ripping away from his crotch like he had just been caught touching himself. “Yeah i’m here. I’ll let ‘em know you’re takin the job.” Shiu responded, thinking quickly.

“sounds good, thanks in advance.” Toji said cockily, knowing he would already succeed in his job. Shiu was just about to answer Toji’s irritatingly confident response when he heard your familiar voice whispering on the other side of the phone. “give it to me, cmon fuck me.”

“Yeah yeah, no problem man.” Shiu forced himself to speak, desperately trying to think of something else to talk about so he could hear you whine longer, but his dreams were cut short when Toji said something along the lines of “I’m ending the call now” sending a shock of disappointment through Shiu’s body.

Shiu said his goodbye and listened closely to any other material he could use to get off while thinking about you. His efforts paid off, as he pressed the phone tightly against his head and scrunched his eyes in focus, he heard you speak again, “gonna give me ur dick now? want it so bad.”

Shiu let his hand still tightly gripping the phone fall agains the outside of his thigh, his other arm covered his eyes as he sighed heavily, feeling his cock twitch needily behind the confines of his pants. With a groan. shiu unconvered his eyes and was faced to look between his thick thighs at the massive hard on he was sporting from perving on his clients girlfriend.

Shiu placed his hand over his sensitive, neglected cock and began rubbing while he worked on his belt with the other. It was looking like another night of jerking off to the thought of you bouncing on his cock while he watched some cheap, shit porn video on his couch.

[k8martins]

｡˚ pillowtalk ‎₊˚ 𓂃˖ 𝜗𝜚 ｡˚

summary: kate has a sex dream about roommate!reader and can’t stop thinking of her like that, and it leads to something more

words: 2.4k

warnings: smut, 18+, kate takes forever with foreplay, oral (r receiving), fingering (r receiving), overstimulation ig

a/n: this shit is freaky… filthy even..

——————————————————————————

when kate jolted awake on her back, her dream was still lingering in the waking world. she couldn’t even get her eyes all the way open yet, but swore she could still feel the forbidden sensation of her roommate’s hands; the way they left no portion of her skin untouched, eventually anchoring down her thighs. intentional kisses, all the way down her body. kate brought a hand up to her face and tried to rub the image away. it was proven futile as her legs twitched at the dreamy feeling of her roommate lapping her tongue around kate’s heat, making her sway.

it was an accidental groan from kate’s mouth that finally brought her back to reality, meeting your gaze from her bed.

“tough night or what?” you laughed, staring at a sleepy kate lying in her dorm sized bed. you stood a few feet away, getting ready to go to class.

for a moment, kate couldn’t bring the words out of her mouth. her hand was tangled in her hair, stalling her response further. she blinked several times, her eyes getting more awake each time.

“oh... yeah,” kate mumbled, embarrassed. she was almost convinced you could read her mind and look into the dream she had.

you noticed kate was staring you up and down intently. although sleepy, it looked like she could’ve pulled you onto her bed for herself. fixing your hair in the mirror, you tried to disregard her look.

“well, i’m gonna go to class. and then i think i’m going out later if you wanna join.” kate was now sitting up in her bed, lightly tugging at the hem of her shirt.

“um.... i probably shouldn’t. got a lot of work to do,” kate said in her raspy voice. you looked at her, surprised.

“are you sure?”

“yeah i’ll just stay here and watch after the dorm,” kate joked, smiling stupidly.

her ridiculous statement made you giggle, but she was acting a bit different.

“is there something up with you?” you questioned lightheartedly. although you were curious, class started soon, and you walked towards the door. the question appeared to make kate nervous, and she moved to sit on the edge of the bed.

“no, why?”

“well... i just thought it would be silly for you to be sitting here all alone with your cute self. thats all,” and you headed out the door with one last smug look.

after the door closed and kate was left alone in the room, she stared quietly at the floor, replaying the dream over and over again. she sighed as your phantom hands ran up and down her body, toying at the clothes she still had on. the eager pace, not letting up despite kate’s whimpers. she wanted it to be real life; easily picturing the fantasy in her mind into reality. she stared at her bed and recalled her body sprawled out, your head between her thighs, gripping at the sheets.

kate was relieved and simultaneously torn that you left so abruptly after coming so close to uncovering her secret. for months now, kate had been sharing a dorm room with you, a near perfect match. it was almost too perfect, as kate frequently found herself staring at you getting ready, “discreetly” glancing as you change clothes, and being over curious as to your whereabouts. kate knew it wouldn’t exactly be ideal to pursue you, as you were meant to only be friends, living together for just the year. her mixed emotions ate away at her; too nervous to mess things up, while also wanting to confess how she feels. the dream was nearly her last straw.

——————————————————————————

later in the day, kate returned back to her dorm from her class. she spent all day thinking of you, her mind clouded over with the morning interaction. it wasn’t exactly late yet, but kate stepped into your shared room to find you getting ready for a night out. you had just gotten your top on, which was a wide strap tank in pink, and a black mini skirt.

“oh hey kate!” you exclaimed once she came in.

“hey. what ‘cha doing?” kate asked dumbly, trying to act casual. she noticed your outfit, and took her time looking you up and down.

“doing my makeup,” you replied innocently, staring back at kate through the mirror in front of you.

she stepped a few feet closer behind you as you applied your lip combo. “that’s a pretty color on you,” kate complimented.

this time you turned your head behind you, gazing at her with a knowing look. you smirked as you put the last bit of lipstick on, pushing your lips together and blushing.

“it would look good on you too,” you commented boldly, gesturing towards the lipstick. you turned your head around back towards the mirror and was fixed on putting away the lipstick when you felt kate’s big hands creep onto your low hips. you melted in her touch, a feeling you’d been waiting for.

“yeah? should we try?” kate said in a low tone, shamelessly letting her hands roam up and down your waist. her body was still against yours from behind, feeling her chest and waist against your back. as embarrassing as it was, you already began to grow wet between your legs.

“kate...” you breathed, turning around to meet her face. you weren’t exactly sure what you wanted to say, but couldn’t take your eyes off her face, which was now fixed into an eager but gentle look.

“is this ok?” kate asked, as if she hadn’t been feeling you up already.

there was almost no space left between you and kate as you lifted your face up to hers. “i’ve wanted to do this for so long,” you admitted, your face just inches away.

kate hummed lowly as she cupped your face with her hands, bringing you into the kiss. it quickly became heated as your lips crashed together; kate feverishly bit down on your bottom lip, a sting you would surely feel for the rest of the night. her hands left your face and traveled back down to your waist, finding the hem of your skirt.

“this little skirt... is driving me crazy,” kate said breathlessly, toying with band of your short skirt.

your heart boomed at her words, pushing your hips into her hands. the knot in your stomach was becoming harder to ignore, and you were desperate to do something about it.

“kate, please,” you moaned into her mouth.

at the tone of your begging voice, kate gripped your hips and walked you to her bed. she only broke the kiss once to lift you up onto the mattress in one swift motion. with quickness, you laid your head down on kate’s pillow as she crawled on top of you. she didn’t know where to touch you first, beginning with your head and gently pulling at your hair, making you even more needy.

moaning into the kiss once again, you begged kate to just do something, but she took her sweet time making you wait. every time you begged, you saw the amusement in her eyes, knowing she loves it. to make you wait even longer, kate placed her knee between your legs, pushing it firmly against your heat. the sensation made your head spin, but it wasn’t enough. you eagerly bucked your hips up against her knee, trying to create any possible friction against your aching pussy. the friction was short lived as kate flew her hand to your hip, holding it down.

“you gotta be patient, princess,” kate teased, feeling her breath against your jaw. you felt like you could cry as you realized how long she was going to draw it out, squirming underneath her grasp.

kate kissed along your jaw and made her way to your neck. you brought your chin up, giving her full access. your hands scratched at her back, eventually moving them under her shirt and earning a low moan from kate. it was your turn to moan as she agonizingly sucked spots onto your neck.

“kate don’t leave too many please,” you whined, thinking of how you would see your friends later.

she carelessly continued to leave her marks, only lifting her head to say, “what, you don’t want your friends knowing you got fucked by your roommate?” she took amusement in her own words, smiling as she went in to kiss you on the lips. the pool between your legs was undeniably getting stronger, and kate was not making it any easier.

your mind reeled as kate moved on to your chest, tugging at the top of your shirt.

“take this off, babe.”

you followed her orders as fast as you could, the cool air brushing against your now bare chest. kate wasted no time covering your tits with her large hands as she gave them light squeezes. she then resumed leaving her marks.

“you’re so,” kate breathed between hickeys, “fuckin’ beautiful.”

moaning at her words, your pleasure was heightened as her tongue found your hardened nipples and swirled her tongue around it. since kate’s hands were busy around your chest, you tried to sneak a hand down to your puffy clit to relieve some pressure. with one hand tangled in her blonde hair, your other hand attempted to remove your soaked panties from under your skirt. the attempt was cut short as kate swatted your hand away.

“you want it real bad, hm? fine.”

“kate, i need you so bad, please just do it,” you begged. at this point, you realized much of your dignity was out the window, and you didn’t care. kate moved off of you and sat on her knees, her hand stalling at the zipper on your skirt.

“tell me what you want,” kate said, keeping her eyes on you and slowly unzipping your skirt.

“want you to fuck me,” you whimpered out.

“there you go, that’s all you had to say,” she said cockily, beginning to remove your skirt. you were left sprawled out in just your panties as kate got on her stomach right in front of your pussy. her hands pried your thighs apart, pushing them back as far as possible. she noticed the large wet spot on your panties and bit her lip before going in to place a kiss upon your clothed cunt.

“you’re such an asshole,” you whined, clawing at the sheets.

kate let out a short chuckle at your whining, her eyes fixed on the view in front of her. her hand was grasping your upper thigh with her thumb close enough to graze your clit.

“am i?” kate’s words echoed in your head and were quickly forgotten as she used one hand to rub slow circles on your clit, and one hand to tease your sopping entrance. her middle two fingers pushed your panties to the side and slowly made their way in. kate’s long fingers filled you up, making you arch your back off the bed immediately. you moaned her name like a prayer as she gradually picked up the pace on both your clit and her fingers.

“so perfect,” kate mumbled, enamored at your bare body. her words mixed with her pace was almost enough to make you finish right there.

“kate i-i’m gonna-“ you cried, eyes screwed shut at the feeling. at the sound of your loud moan, kate withdrew her fingers and the sensation stopped all at once. she noticed your confused pout and worked quickly to bring your legs back together, tearing off your wet panties.

“‘m sorry, babe, your makeup might not hold up,” kate teased, and brought her head down to your pussy. connecting her lips to your core, you cried at the unrestricted feeling of her tongue lapping directly around your puffy clit. she began with a sole focus on licking back and forth, bobbing her head with each movement.

the knot in your stomach was coming closer and closer to being undone, but you held it as kate continued to suck. your hands were caught up in her messy hair, pushing your hips into her face. kate’s prominent nose rubbed against your sensitive clit, only heightening the arousal. your shaking legs began to involuntarily close around her head, which made her go harder.

finally, she entered her fingers into your warm cunt once again. her tongue mixed with her long fingers began to overwhelm you, and you realized she was probably right about your makeup. kate’s fingers quickly reached a merciless pace and hit your g spot every time. you threw your head back, the tears beginning to form at the corners of your eyes. every exhale from your mouth was a moan, and you were nearly unable to form any other coherent sound. kate noticed your face twisted in an expression of pleasure and struggle, with tears beginning to fall.

“you’re taking me so good, pretty girl,” kate cooed against your pussy, “just let it out.”

with kate’s permission, you came around her fingers as the orgasm rippled through your body. your legs shook and you gripped at the sheets, arching your back while kate rode you out of your high. you were still tiredly moaning as kate removed her lips from your spent pussy, and withdrew her fingers.

sitting up again, kate softly wiped away your tears. both of you were breathing heavily and recovering from the intense moments.

“you doing ok?” kate wanted to make sure, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear.

you nodded, going in to gently kiss kate. it was a shorter kiss, and she moved from your lips to pepper kisses along the rest of your face. lying back onto her pillow, you caught your breath as she retrieved your clothes. recognizing you as her pillow princess, she put your clothes back on for you before joining you in lying down.

you cuddled close to her and you caught your reflection in the mirror across the room. covering your hand in embarrassment, you saw your fucked out face, mascara smeared around your eyes and lipstick nowhere to be seen. you playfully hit kate and you both began to laugh.

“i told you,” kate giggled.

“you have to go out with me now, by the way.”

[caxde]

bright eyes | eddie munson x reader

summary you're a new neighbour in the trailer park, your's an Eddie's relationship takes a new turn, while navigating life with her little girl (4.3k)

warnings fem!reader, girl!dad Eddie!!!!, fluff, mutual pining, yearning etc, slowburn strangers to lovers, idiots in love!!!, , english is not my first language so I apologise if there’s some mistakes, not proof read! 

a/n: the support has been insane, so enjoy part2 <3 part 1 part 3 (they can be read seperatly)

“Munson! There’s a girl here asking for you.” 

The raspy voice of his college snapped him back to reality. He had been working on the same bike for a while now, and had become unaware of everything else that was happening around him. 

But if there was a girl to see him, it could only be you, or maybe Robin. 

He really hoped it’d be you. 

Heads followed him as he crossed the dusty garage floor as he found his way to the opened mechanical door. Lucky for him, you were anxiously waiting there, your hands playing with the hem of your sweater. 

You had been lucky, if you actually think about it. You had left the café you started working at a few weeks ago, so you could go to the trailer park and get some sleep. This last weekend the logistic center that was 30 minutes away had called you, begging you to take the night shift since some of their employees were on vacation. You accepted, since they offered to pay you extra, and in cash. The downside was that the sleep you had lost didn’t seem to come back, and your car had been making a strange sound since then. 

Now your car refused to turn right, and if it did it took way too much strength. 

You avoided spending more than you had to, but it looked like it was finally time. Thank god Eddie works here, you kept thinking as you found your way to the mechanic. 

“Hi.” Your voice was lower, barely holding yourself together. 

“Hi princess.” He tried to cheer you up, a big smile on his face and his affectionate pet name he had only for you. “What a nice surprise.” He kept walking towards you, cutting the distance until you were a step away from each other. 

“I wish it was a surprise.” The way your eyebrow furrowed let him know that you were a bit too anxious, a bit too nervous with the situation. “I need your help.” You added as your palm covered your face for a moment, trying to wipe away the panic. 

“Whatever you need, princess.” And maybe it was his sweet tone, maybe it was the nickname or maybe it was the way his hand held your arm, in a supportive and soft way, that let you finally relax. 

You walked with him to your car, while you told him what was going on. He just nodded and let you talk, knowing that that was just what you needed. 

“It just sucks, I don’t know how I’m gonna get to work now.” You kept speaking as he popped the hood up of your car, and he kept looking at the engine, and everything that crept deep into it, what everything did you had no idea. Eddie was used to people talking while he worked, but oddly enough it made him feel more important, when you were the one doing it. 

“I could drive you.” He replays. His body stood up from being bent over. He was tying his hair up, and you had lost any and every train of thought you had. You had never seen someone look as pretty with a ponytail, even when they were covered in car grease. Black stains in contrast with his white muscle top, decoration his arms in places tattoos didn’t. “I don’t mind, as long as you’re okay with carpooling with Lua.” Eddie’s nervous smile came back, an upside down grin while his eyebrows raised, eyes locked with yours. 

“I’d love that.” 

-

Breakfast was Lua’s favourite. 

A piece of toast with some sweet jam, a cup of warm milk, and some cut up fruit. 

Eddie let her eat it wherever she felt like, time proved that was the better option. She usually preferred to eat it sitting down on the kitchen counter, while Eddie sat on the stools, eyes on the same level. He usually ate the rest of the fruit that he didn’t give to her, while he downed his black coffee. Though if he was honest, he had never cracked how to brew a good cup. 

Lua would babble whatever she had on her mind, she was chattier in the mornings, unlucky for her, Eddie was not a morning person, his energy drained from another poor night’s sleep. 

Everytime he thought about it, it made him laugh. Before her little girl came into his life, he’d sleep until way past noon, usually skipping school, having a cigarette and a coffee -if anything- for breakfast, without a job - a legal one- and with no real reason to do anything with his life. 

Maybe that’s why he cares so much about her, her little light, his reason to keep going, and be better. 

While he looked at her, the world seemed to quiet down for a moment, and everything was fine. 

Three knocks at the door, and he already knew you were on the other side of it. 

“Morning.” Amusement in his voice, in a hush tone. His dippels appeared, as his smile grew wider, they way your hair fell, in a tangled mess, being the reason for it. He was just happy to see you, though he wasn’t going to admit it. Not yet. 

“Hi.” Your voice came out raspy and hoarse. You hadn’t talked to anyone yet, and it made him chuckle even more. He moved his body out of the door frame, letting you plenty of room to walk through. “Coffee?” 

“Already done.” He muttered back, pointing with his head where the mug in his kitchen was. 

You felt your face relax as soon as you saw Lua enjoying her breakfast, quietly. Your eyes closed when your earnest smile came, once her voice rang with excitement as she said your name, as her hands moved through the air. 

“Hi dude!” You matched her energy, the momentary excitement winning the battle for your remaining energy. 

Lua gave you a high five, which you celebrated with a funny face that made her laugh. She offered you a piece of fruit that you accepted in a way too exaggerated manner, that only made her giggles multiply. Unbenoughts to you, Eddie was watching attentively. 

He was memorizing the way your hair fell on your back, and the way it swayed everytime you moved. The way you fitted in your dark washed jeans, the little red shirt from the café hugged your waist and he suddenly had the wish to place his hand there. He didn’t do it. 

Instead he handed you a mug with watered down coffee, that you accepted. He grinned at  the way your nose scrunched once you took the first sip of it. 

“Yeah, I’m not the best coffee maker.” He confessed while he suppressed a laugh. 

“Clearly.” You answered in a joking manner, it wasn’t bad, you just weren’t used to black strong coffee,  not the way he was. “I’m making you breakfast tomorrow.” 

You meant it. He knew, so he accepted with a nod and another smile. 

“Wayne’s sleeping, so we try to not wake him up. It’s difficult when little miss sunshine has all the energy in the world.” He explained while looking at Lua, her beaming smile and giggles made him light up, his thumb cleaning her cheek that had some purple jam on it. 

“There’s no one else in my trailer, she can be as chatty as she wants there.” Lua understood that, as soon as she realised what you were talking about she started to clap and cheer, a soft chuckle escaping from your lips. 

Eddie could hear that symphony for the rest of his days, he thought. 

-

It became a new way to start your days. 

You’d brew some coffee, and prepare an extra mug for Wayne, that Eddie left on the counter of his kitchen before you left for work. 

You’d actually cook, eating something in the early hours for once, a new habit you never had before. 

Lua always knocked on your door whenever they were ready, the little sound on your door followed by her sweet hi, as her arms swanged up in the air. She was becoming more and more comfortable with you, letting you hold her. She even gave you a thank you kiss on the cheek once. 

Today you had some pancake batter sizzling in the pan, orange juice for her, milky tea for you. 

“Dada?”

“Yes?” Eddie raised his eyebrow as he took his first sip, his voice softening at her.

“Music?” She answered with another question. 

“Ah, yes. The beautiful melody that connects us all together.” He babeled, in that voice he used when he was talking as what he was saying was written in an antique book. He tended to do it more when he knew you would smile. 

He took two cassettes out of his back pocket, letting her choose. He wished she’d actually choose the mix he finished last night, but as always, she picked the one that had a drawing she did as a cover. 

He nodded and walked to your radio. 

It hit him in that moment, just how tangled your lives were becoming. He knew where (almost) everything in your home was, and the same was starting to happen for you. He knew that you kept honey in a reused jar, because Mr.Felix gave you local honey from a friend in the first cupboard to the right. He knew you had extra plasters in the second drawer of your bathroom because you had a tendency to cut yourself when you used a knife when you had to chop something up. He knew that the drawings on your wall were painted by you, but that the one that hung over the orange lamp was gifted to you by a kid you took care of when you worked in a hotel two years ago. He also knew that you knew where Lua likes to put her toys away, under the table of his living room. You knew that the only way she had to eat vegetables was if they couldn’t be seen. You knew that Eddie liked to have it all under his ‘controled mess’ as you called it. 

In just a few weeks you had become such an important person that he was scared of you leaving. Which people had a tendency to do in his life. 

Now he couldn’t only care about his life, he had to care about Lua’s too, and he had been trying to talk to you about it. But everytime he summoned up the courage to do so, you’d look at him with your pretty doe eyes and everything he had wanted to say left, he could only focus on how pretty you always look. 

You focused on other things. Silly, non important things. 

Like how his tongue went over his upper lip every time he concentrated to fasten Lua’s seatbelt. Or how he played with his rings when he was deep in thought, whatever it was, his thumb played with the middle one, while his left hand focused on the one in his index finger. Or how when he had a clear idea, and had to start working on something, he’d tie his hair up in a lazy ponytail, his thick neck exposed. Or how he rotated his shoulders when he sat down on the driver's seat at the end of the day, half exhausted, half excited to go back to his home. 

You walked to the car shop at around eight, as you always did. Knowing that he’d already be waiting for you outside. Since Lua was back in the house, Wayne coming to pick her up as soon as he wakes up, he always enjoyed that small frame of time to actually smoke a cigarette, his little moment, all for himself. 

Before he met you, he’d spend this moment thinking about what he needed to do, what he needed to buy, or what Lua wanted for dinner. Now, the only thought was you. You and your sweet voice, you and your angelic laughter, you and your soft skin. You, everytime you called his name. 

“Hey princess.” His pet name had also become a familiar sensation. Your heart still races a bit when it hears it, nevertheless. 

“Hey moon.” Eddie wasn’t sure if it was the earnestness of your tone, or the new nickname, but he felt his heart jump around his chest, and his cheeks changing colour, a pretty pink flush taking over them. 

“Should we go?” He added, happiness crystal clear, not only by his higher tone, but by his overall demeanor. 

“Please. I’m so tired, I think I’ll go straight to bed.” You let out in a whisper, rubbing your face in an attempt to wake up, so you wouldn’t fall asleep on the drive back to the trailer park. 

“You should eat something first.” It was his way of showing you he cared, making sure you were taking care of yourself half as well as you took care of others. 

“I know, I just really hate cooking for myself. It's boring, and then you have to clean it, and do it all again…”

“You make breakfast for us everyday,” He pointed out, his eyebrow raised in synchrony with his pitch, as he opened the passenger door so you’d climb in. 

“Yeah, but that’s different. It’s mostly for you.” You stop as you wait for him to sit on the driver sit, taking the time to make sure your seat belt is fastened. Looking at the backseat, a new habit you had developed thanks to him and his baby. “I didn’t eat breakfast before you guys came.” You admit, and he knows you’re not lying. You never do when your eyes shine that bright. You also know he is a bit worried, a frown appearing on his forehead. “I’m okay, moon.” 

“Hey, it’s not fair that you use the nickname to your advantage.” He points out, his index finger raising to the air as he speaks, his car engine starting, heading home. 

“Sorry?” You jokingly ask. Knowing that everything’s fine by the way he laughs it off. 

“Then, we’ll come over and cook you dinner.” 

“Tonight?”

“If that’s okay.” His tone showed a bit of concern now. Maybe he was pushing it a bit too much. He was just excited to spend time with you, so he tried to grab every opportunity he had to do so. 

“Yeah, I just… My fridge’s a bit empty. We should stop by the shop.” You were embarrassed. 

It was stupid. Or at least it felt stupid. Being embarrassed about it. But the only actual thing you had been buying was dedicated to the breakfast you shared together, once you were home by yourself, you usually had a soup, frozen pizza or a simple grilled cheese sandwich. You really didn't care that much, you just ate if and when you were actually hungry.

And it wasn’t that often, if you were honest. 

Eddie knew. He had a tendency to be over observant, and he had noticed, but never dared to say anything. Life was complicated enough, and that was a mantra he stood by. So he took the chance, and planned to cook you the meal he was actually proud of. 

-

The Never Ending Story played in the background. 

A familiar scene in your trailer. 

Eddie’s cooking filled the air with a delicious smell, he was concentrated in it, wanting to impress you while he cooked his ramen noodles with seared shredded chicken. 

Meanwhile, you and Lua layed on the rug in your living room, the T.V on a low volume. She had found your nail polish, and cheerfully asked if she could paint your nails. 

“What colour do you want to paint them?” You had asked, the calmest your voice has ever been, the tiniest trace of exhaustion in it. 

“Blue!” She beamed as she held the bottle. 

“Okay, careful though.” You opened the bottle for her, and looked at her as she looked at the puzzle before her. “Do you want me to do the first one?” You asked, knowing that she needed some sort of guide. You realised, she had the same face of concentration as her father, tongue out covering her upper lip. 

She started painting, the smell of polish annoying her a bit, you encourage her. Telling her in a kind voice how good of a job she was doing, even if she was getting more colour on your skin than in your nail. She giggled as she covered her face in a shy manner, proud of the job she had finished. 

“They look beautiful, bug” Eddie’s voice came right between both of you. As he sat down between you, she held your hand so he could look at them closer. “You did this all by yourself?” Even if he didn’t look at you, and even if his eyes were looking at the proud look on his daughter's face, you could feel the electricity travel from your body to his. And the warmth his touch leaves on your soft skin. 

“Yeah.” She whispers in a shy, proud giggle, nodding along, waiting patiently for his compliments. 

“She didn’t help you?” He asked again, this time his eyes were on yours. It had changed, you noticed. His eyes weren’t shining with a second intention, or a jokey flare. They were full of something else, if you had to put a name on it -without having to say it out loud- you’d say it was adoration, though you weren’t sure. You were right regardless. 

“It was all her.” You tell him. He nods, catching himself falling deeper into the abyss. 

“Dinner’s ready” He ended up saying that. He thought that saying what he was really thinking would have been too weird. Tough if he really thought about it, telling you that you had never been more beautiful wasn’t a total lie, or that out of character for him. 

Lua sat on his lap, knowing that she would be fed, since she couldn’t be trusted with noodles. Not since she had used a fork to catapult them into the wall a few months back. She was smarter than Eddie realised, and he loved her more for it. 

Eddie waited silently for your reaction, and was pleased with himself when you whispered an amazed my god once you took your first bite. He took his chance to look at you while you were eating, distracted by the food. While you took your chance to look at him when he fed Lua. 

This was something you could also get used to, you find yourself thinking. 

Having company. Having them as company.

It was complicated, and you knew that. 

And it was even harder when he acted as nice as he was doing. Even if he had cooked, he was still offering to clean up. It was also harder seeing how Lua wanted you to hold her, exhaustion after a nice meal, she was sleepy and needed comfort. You looked at Eddie, a question written over your face is this okay? He gave you his usual grin, the upside down smile that showed his dimple of course it is.

You held her, close to your chest, her little arms hanged by your side, her head resting between your shoulder and your breast. You were softer than the strong arms she was used to, and your swaying was more delicate -probably because you were afraid to do something that might upset her- you hummed along the final song of the movie that was still playing, and as she felt deeper and deeper into dreaming, Eddie finished cleaning up. 

“Is she…?” 

“I think so.” Your voice was so quiet he could barely even understand you. 

The image of you, holding her with such care, with such softness, with that much love… It became an image he would end up thinking in a recurring manner. 

“We could set her down in my room.” You point at the closer door that he had never walked through. He nodded, trying to mask his boyish excitement. 

He half expected your room to be as colourfull as the rest of your house, but your walls were white, decorated with just a couple pictures of a city he couldn’t name on the wall, your white sheets that had witnessed your meeting on your bed. 

He walked over to you, a bit closer than he had to be to hold Lua, so he could put her down. Enjoying the way his skin graced yours. 

He sat down on your mattress, and laid Lua in the middle of it, resting in deep sleep. You followed closely. Your body hitting the usual comfort that your mattress always seemed to have. He waited a second. Another image he wanted to remember happening right in front of him, your body laying down on a bed next to her baby. In another life… Maybe it could have also been yours. 

He laid down carefully, and you saw as both of you were lost. Not really sure where to look, but dying to just look at each other's eyes. As these things go, you could only avoid each other for so long. 

So you ended up lost into his gaze just as much as he was lost in yours. 

It was a bit too much. 

“Moon…” You whispered, trying to not wake her up. 

“Yeah?” 

“Is this weird?” Even if you tried not to, your words still came out as worried as you were. 

“Is it weird that it isn’t?” He asked back, the sincerity in his voice made your body relax, your eyebrows furrowed. 

“Maybe.” You admit, with a hopeful smile. You turned your focus on her for a moment. “She looks so peaceful.” 

“You should see her when she wakes up.” He adds with a smirk on his lips. His fingers pushing a hair out of her face. “She’s calmer when you’re around.” 

“We should be careful, then.” You were measuring your words now, not only speaking about her. He knew, so he just nodded. 

“You know…” He started speaking after a few minutes of comfortable silence, his body sinking deeper into the comfort of your bed, smelling your perfume in the pillows that hugged his head. “When I had her, it was only me and Wayne, her mother doesn’t want her in her life, and it was scary, and nauseating. I had no idea what I was doing.” His eyes flickered back to you. His shyness was gone, he was calmer with you near. You and the admiration in your eyes. “But I figured it out pretty quickly. She needed me just as much as I needed her. I had help, of course. But still, I wouldn’t change it for the world. She keeps me sane in a way… I know I’m a better person because of her. But I think I’m becoming an even greater person because of you, too.” 

You weren’t sure what you could say back. It was a warming feeling, having heard him say it, knowing that somehow you were in the same position as him. So you decided to be brave, to be honest for once. 

“I just worry Edds, that’s all.” You admit in a sincer whisper. He knows you’re not done talking, and he doesn’t rush you. He waits patiently, with an understanding nod and a smile on his face. “Meeting you, both of you, has been a blessing. Honestly. It’s been lonely, moving away, being here… And you guys have been so kind, and so welcoming… I really don’t wanna fuck it up.” 

“I know, princess.” 

“I just… I don’t know where’s the limit. I think… I think I kinnda like you, and if this complicates things I… I don’t know.” You were a bit embarrassed. having finally confessed what has been on your  mind for days. But seeing the beaming smile that escaped from Eddie’s lips was all the confirmation you needed. 

“I think I kinnda like you too. And I know it sucks. In another life, I would have asked you out, and we would have gone on dates, and we would spend days together but… All I can really think about, all I should think about…” He gestures to the little girl, sleeping soundly. “But we could still figure out a way…” 

“You think?” 

“Maybe.” He echoes your first maybe, the same tone, the same expression you had given him. “If you want to, we could try it out, go on a date, see if we…” 

“Work?”

“Yeah.” A lovesick grin was plastered in both of your faces. 

Hope could be felt in the room. Maybe it could work out, maybe you could have something, even if you weren’t sure what that was. Normally the uncertainty would make you nauseous, and anxious. Not this time, it actually made you excited, the promise of a something with them. With him. 

“You’d go out with me? An actual date?” He finally asks you. His soft spoken words can’t really hide the excitement that laid deep in his question. And you weren’t that good at lying, and he could read you like a book. 

“I’d love to, Moon.” It had been easier than you had anticipated. Complicated and easier seemed to go hand in hand when he came into the picture. “As soon as you fix my car.” You add in a joking tone, sticking your tongue out. 

“Oh, your car’s been done for a couple days.” He said in a sirius yet humorous tone, he covered his mouth with his index fingers as soon as a chuckle escaped your lips. 

“Asshole.” You whispered in disbelief. 

“I just liked having an excuse to hang out with you.”

Just like that, your heart was warmer once again. And soft giggles and conversation followed all the way through the night. 

Until the exhaustion caught up with you.

 You fell asleep right there. A picture that both of you wanted to remember, the little promise of something more. 

-

there might be a part 3 if you guys would like it ! xx

if you enjoyed it please leave a comment or reblog. i promise it makes a huge difference &lt;3

requests! are open

@took-me-hours-to-steal-those @edens-vices-art @micheledawn1975 @peachystenbrough @mewchiili @bylermaxmayfield @yujyujj @honeymoonmunsonn @paleidiot @ali-r3n

part 2 is up, thank for the support dudes <3

[boytearscore]

i dare you to try. — chris sturniolo.

summary: you finally decided to join a car video with the triplets after years of them trying to convince you to, but when the topic “who’s more stubborn, you or chris?” is brought up, things take a peculiar turn in which chris is sure he can be the first guy you beg for, so you dare him to try.

warnings: fem!dom, chris!dom, smut, teasing, foreplay, swearing, choking, orgasm denial, size kink, bdsm.

taglist: @chericherrybaby, @fratbrochrisgf, @sturncakez <33

author’s note: so... funny story, girls... i got home from work last night and started writing but fell asleep with my phone on my face. hope you can forgive me, though. anyways, enjoyyy! xo 💋💋💋

𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 (𝟸/𝟸)

friday night, 9pm. 

you smile excitedly as you are getting ready to a party at the triplets house, eyes and hands are focused on the eyeliner, red lipstick already highlighting the lips and a black short dress moulding your curves. on top of that, underneath it, you were wearing orange lingerie. chris favorite colour, was it a little petty? yes, but you’re not about to lose this dare. absolutely no fucking way.

when you finished recording the video with them, nick had the idea of throwing a party the next day, he wanted to see chaos between you and chris for his own entertainment and so did matt. chris, on the other hand, has already been sending you risky texts and some pictures of his covered hard dick and other parts of the body he knew you were attracted to with captions like “give up already.” and “can’t wait to hear you beg and moan my name.”

you ignored all of it just to give him the impression you were threatened and shy when in reality, there was a whole plan ready to be put in action since he opened his mouth.

finally, you’re done. everything looked impeccable: hair falling over your chest that was mostly exposed by the dress cleavage, a pair of black tights that were connected to the lingerie and black leather boots that went to your knees, not to mention you smell incredible.

after checking yourself one more time in the mirror, a smirk painted in your lips, chris was not ready for that. 

it was 10:30pm when you arrived at their house, loud music playing and people everywhere dancing, drinking and even throwing up.

you calmly go through the crowd of people when a pair of hands suddenly grab your hips pressing both bodies and you feel lips into your ear. the person didn’t even need to say anything, you could tell who it was by their scent.

“ready to be my little slut?” you feel the hot breath caressing your skin and the deep voice with a stupid cocky chuckle.

“not even in your dreams, christopher.” you reply, turning to him. matt and nick behind him laughing, that’s definitely the most fun they’ve been having in a while.

he smirks and you couldn’t stop yourself from eyeing his body, he has a black tank top that was complimenting his collar bones, shoulders and abdomen. 

and chris would notice you savouring him, but he was too busy staring at your boobs. his mind racing with the thoughts of cumming all over them.

“it feels like i’m watching a porn without the sex part, just the eyes.” matt says and you both break glances at each other laughing.

“is no one gonna grab me a drink?” you ask, rolling your eyes and nick give you a “excuse me?” look.

“you’ve been here more than our parents, go get it yourself.” he replies and you just shrug.

“fucking worst host ever.” you murmur making sure he heard before going to the kitchen and opening the fridge, all you could think of was chris.

he looked so hot wearing that damn black tank top, why didn’t you notice how attractive he was before the bet? it’s like a blindfold was taken away from your eyes, you imagined him on his knees, pleading and whimpering in front of you. things got even more interesting now.

you grab a drink and take a huge sip, ignoring the burning feeling in your throat and walking again through the people, some you knew, some not. you danced either way, a few guys eyeing you from afar and then one came behind you, dancing.

“you alone?” he whispered into your ear and you smiled, turning to him and grabbing his hands to dance.

“always.” he smiles back at you, rolling you around and grabbing your hips. you started dancing, he was cute and really hot.

that didn’t last much, though. 

someone abruptly grabbed your hand, making you look behind you with an angry expression. 

“today you’re not.” 

it was chris.

the guy just stared at chris and vanished away not wanting any trouble, you glance at the blue eyed boy, giving him the dirtiest look.

“what?” he shrugs, smiling. “i’m not sharing you with anyone today, whether you like it or not.”

you give him an eye roll but you’re not mad, it’s not like that guy was hotter than chris anyway.

“don’t ever grab my hand like that again.” you tell him with a serious face and he just nods, looking apologetic. “only if i allow you to.”

you get closer to him, wrapping your arms around his neck and rocking your body to the music. chris instantly smiles, his hands pressing hard on your hips. your fingers running to his hair, and you can’t help but push them back making him gasp.

“you’re such a menace.” he whispers, a hand sliding to your ass and turning you around.

you could feel everything, his hips crushing into yours and his dick getting harder everytime you brushed your ass while dancing. part of your plan was working and you didn’t even get started yet.

you turn to chris and place your hand around his neck, nails scratching it slightly causing him goosebumps.

he couldn’t resist the temptation, grasping your back and leaning in for a kiss, but you stopped him with a finger on his lips.

“not yet.” you smirk at him and he stares at you confused. “just shut your mouth and just follow me, or you won’t be having any fun tonight.” he thinks for a while and nods, not saying anything, the finger drawing a straight line down from his lips to his collar, dragging him upstairs.

when you both get to his room, he closes the door and throws you on the bed, getting on top of your body and pressing his torso against you.

you smirk, just watching him trying his best to be dominant, suddenly, his hand slid underneath your dress, touching slightly your inner thigh. you let out a small sigh, his hand was so warm and it felt so good.

“look at ya.” he mumbled into your ear, moving his hand closer to your pussy. “i’m not doing anything yet and you’re already gasping.”

you don’t say anything, just letting him play his game before yours starts. chris chuckles, amused by your unusual reaction, that motivated him to keep going.

his face close to yours, eyes staring at your lips before shutting them down and brushing both slightly against each other.

you wrap your arms around his neck, messing with his hair and he finally kisses you. not a gentle kiss, an obscene one. tongues fighting and wet sounds, chris can’t help but moan when he feels your nails digging on his back. 

his hand finally touches your pussy covered by the lingerie and you moan biting his bottom lip. he laughs, breaking the contact and looks at you, usually that would be the perfect moment for a cocky comment, but he couldn’t fight the urge to tear apart your black tights and pull the dress to your waist, revealing the orange lingerie.

he’s stunned by a second, moving away from your body to take a better look.

“you fucking bitch.” he says, grabbing your chin and bringing you close to his face agresseviely. “you did this on purpose, didn’t you? to tease me.” he asks while using the other hand to undress you completely. “you’re such a slut, ya know that?” he throws you again on the bed, an expression on his face you’ve never seen before.

you smile, opening your legs in front of him and looking beneath lashes, still not saying anything. too bad for chris, but you knew him more than himself. he loves to talk shit and act all nonchalant, but he hates when people don’t engage or ignore it.

chris frowned, staring between your legs and to drive him even more mad, you placed a hand on your inner thigh, slowly going up until it got to your pussy, your fingers teasing it over the lingerie and moaning and making faces while staring intensely at his eyes.

the boy is speechless, he never got so hard and never felt this urgent need to fuck someone before. the sound of your voice moaning and the way you touched yourself, he was mesmerised by everything.

“chris…” you finally use one of your cards, biting your lips and moaning his name.

he can’t hold himself anymore, chris takes off his shirt and pants, still wearing boxes and walks towards you, the smirk on his face vanished a long time ago, all you could see was pure lust.

“you’re driving me crazy by doing that.” he leans against you, using one knee to support himself over the bed, making sure to rub your wet pussy with it. “that’s a dangerous game, i’m warning you.”

you can’t help but laugh, lifting one leg up to reach his dick and rubbing it slowly, his lips parted into a loud moan, tilting his head to the back.

“it seems to me you’re the one about to beg, chris.” for the first time in minutes, you spoke. he immediately looks at you, not liking your comment one bit but feeling his dick twitch.

“that’s rich coming from someone who just moaned my name like a slut.” he replies, grabbing you leg and dragging you to him, now you are completely laid down on the bed, he bends over to reach your waist and slides your panties till your ankle.

“i’m keeping this.” he smirks and throws the orange lingerie on his nightstand. “alright, i’m gonna eat you out till you cum all over my face.” he gets on his knees, leaning closer to your dripping wet pussy. you could feel his breath hitting the sensitive area and that made you shiver. 

“thought you were gonna make me beg.” you say, watching every single move he makes. chris licks your clit without warning, causing loud moans from you. “fuck.”

he laughs, staring at you between your legs, hands spreading them as much as he can.

“no silly, i’m gonna make you beg me to fuck you.” he groaned, finally eating you out deliciously, his tongue alternating between flexing the muscles while inside you and letting it loose when sucking and licking all of it.

you grab his hair violently, pushing it hard while rolling your hips into his mouth. 

chris was getting harder by second, to the point his dick started to hurt a little. he was moaning and eating you out at the same time, the vibrations causing you an insane amount of pleasure.

“fuck, chris.” you whisper, biting your lips to hide how much you were enjoying it. no guy has ever eaten you out like that before.

so much so that you were about to cum into his mouth, your legs started shaking and the grip on his hair got tighter. he notices your body reactions and smirk, licking and sucking even more faster and intensely.

your moans get louder, you feel contractions through your whole body, soon releasing all the pleasure and cumming into chris mouth.

he licks everything, letting your pussy clean and gets on the bed, crawling on top of you. you smiled at him and he could sense something coming but decided to ignore, all he wanted was to hear the magic words from your pretty mouth.

“i bet i’m the first guy to make you cum that fast, huh?” he says finally being face to face with you, his hard covered dick brushing against your bare pussy and both arms on each side of your head, you were so close that you could feel his heartbeats pressed over your chest, he reach your neck, kissing and sucking on it making soft gasps come out of your lips. 

“beg me.” he murmured in your ear, one hand grabbing your boob and squeezing it hard. the pain felt so good, but you’re not about to lose. “beg me to fuck your little pussy.”

he stares at you, his hand going lower until it reaches your core, sliding one finger inside. your back curves, but you smile at him not showing signs of redemption.

and that’s when you decided it’s time.

with a quick move, you revert the positions, thanks to all the self defence classes you took a long time ago, getting a man off top of you wasn’t hard. 

chris was shocked, his eyes widened and his lips suddenly opened like he was about to say something but couldn’t.

“you’ve failed.” you tell him, smirking. both of his hands were on top of his head, held by yours. with an evil expression, you press your ass against his dick and he melts under you. “it’s my turn now.”

you go for his lips first, and even though his ego was bruised by the fact that you could easily turn the situation to your favour, he’s too horny to care.

both lips were crashing hard while tongues enlaced, the grip of your hand holding his writs got even tighter when he started to move them, the other one was slowly creeping to his abdomen, chris moaned and gasp onto your lips and when you finally reached his dick, removing his boxers to expose his hard cock.

and then something slaps your back, making you look behind.

“holy shit.” you opened your mouth, turning yourself completely to make sure you saw correctly. “you’re fucking huge, chris.”

he laughs, finding your reaction cute and sitting on the bed when you let his hands go.

“think you can take it?” he asks and you stare back at him, smiling.

“only if you beg me first.” you reply, grabbing his dick and teasing the tip of it with your finger, chris closes his eyes and moans a curse word. “c’mon..” you whisper, slowly pumping him and his back curves. “beg me.”

“please…” he murmured, avoiding your gaze.

you smirk, feeling your pussy dripping. he looked so fucking hot doing that. 

since chris was sitting, you easily extended your arm to his hair, pulling it hard to make him stare at you.

“say it again.” you order him spreading all the pre cum over the base of his dick and pulling harder his hair, chris was losing his mind at this point.

“please, let me fuck you.” he asks almost politely with his eyes glued on yours, his cheeks were a slight shade of pink and his red glossy lips parted, letting out shaken breaths. 

you don’t answer, just push his shoulders to the bed making him fall and lifting yourself up to get on top of him again, the gaze between both of you was so intense and sexual.

you positioned his cock on your entry, teasing him a little by rolling your hips and chris bite his lip, you didn’t wanted him to fuck you, you wanted to fuck him.

and so you did, sliding his dick slowly inside you with a frown expression and eyes closed.

“does it hurt?” he asks worriedly, grabbing your hips with both hands and fighting the urge to make you jump hard on him.

“yes.” you reply opening your eyes, starting to bounce at a slow pace. “that’s how i like it.”

you feel his dick twitch inside you with your comment, he slaps one of your ass cheeks hard, and you moan loudly.

“you like that, huh?” one more slap, this time harder. you were already bouncing crazy on his dick and both of you were moaning so much that if the loud music wasn’t playing downstairs, everyone would hear. and honestly, none of you cared.

“shit.” chris growns, digging his short nails on your waist. you leaned a little to wrap your finger around his throat and he closes his eyes, gasping. 

“so much for a dom.” you say with a shaky voice from the bouncing, tightening the grip around his neck.

he doesn’t say anything, his mind was fuzzy and raced. all he could do was moan and whimper loudly. 

the twitches got stronger and you could tell he was about to cum.

“gonna cum?” you ask him and he nods desperately, but then you stop moving. he looks at you, a mixture of annoyance and pleasure. “say you’re my little slut, chris.” you incline over, rolling your hips in slow motion and biting his bottom lip. “say it.”

he lets out a huge sigh with the painful feeling of holding an orgasm, his eyes locked into yours, a few hair strands falling over them and sweat dripping from his forehead.

“i’m your little slut.” he whispers, pressing his hands hard on your waist.

you smile at him, finally moving faster. chris feels the lack of oxygen with the combination of an insane amount of pleasure get to his head. he looks at you like he’s about to say something and you notice his hesitation.

“what?” 

“can i please cum on your boobs?” he avoids your gaze again and you feel like squeezing his cheeks, finally you nod. bouncing a couple more times and when he finally starts shaking, you get off of his lap, sitting on your knees.

chris gets up, he tries to grab his own dick, but you slap his hand.

“who the fuck said you could touch yourself?” you smirk, leading a hand wrap around his cock and begins to leisurely pump, chris tilts his head back, coming all over your boobs while you could capture every detail, his husky voice and his dick twitching uncontrollably while lots of cum shower your boobs, you made sure to get it all to your fingers and lick until there’s nothing left there.

slowly, his moans got quieter and he finishes cumming. he looks down at you, smiling and lending you a hand to get up, you smile back and grab his hand getting up.

“i fucking hate you.” he groans, pushing you closer to him by the hand and you laugh.

“that’s what someone who just lost a bet would say.” you reply and give him a little peck, he just rolls his eyes and laughs too.

“i’m doomed.” he slapped himself while you were putting back your dress, making you chuckle.

“don’t worry, my little slut.” you say calmly while putting back your boots. “you’re safe with me.” you say, giving him a wink and grabbing his tank top, throwing it at him. “you should use this more often though.”

chris squinted his eyes and a grin formed on his lips.

“will i fuck you everytime i wear this again?” he asks and you get up, turning to him.

“no, i’m the one who’s gonna fuck you.” 

when you both were properly dressed, chris opens the door so you two could go downstairs, but something was waiting for him right outside.

“i believe you have something to say, chris.” nick and matt were leaned against the wall, arms crossed and lips pressed trying hard not to laugh.

but you can’t control yourself, letting a loud laugh come out of your lips, making them unable to control themselves as well. the only one serious was chris, who rolled his eyes and stared at the three of you, sighing loudly.

“fine…” he groans and turn to you, at least he got the best fuck of his life, so he wasn’t that mad. “i was wrong.”

you, nick and matt burst out laughing again and chris holds in for a while, but soon enough he’s laughing too. 

[tootiecakes234]

First Kiss

Your first kiss with Katsuki was overwhelming…

The two of you have been friends since U.A. You’ve gotten so close over past couple years to the point where if your friends saw you they expected him not to be far behind and vice versa.

Best friends, that’s what you’ve settled with because you know Kat had 0 interest in you outside of that. You’ve seen the girls he’s hooked up with and you did not fit that type at all.

And don’t get it wrong, you loved being his best friend. He taught you stand up for yourself and you’d taught him how to speak to people with some level of respect. You guys were good together… yin and yang you liked to think

One night, you’re leaving a hangout you guys had at Mina’s place and Kat is walking you home. It was cool out that night and the moon was shining so bright you could still see the clouds in the sky. Apparently you had been gotten lost looking up at it.

“Oi, earth to y/n…. Get your ass moving. I’m exhausted and I’m ready to get home.”

When you come back to reality and look at him, he does look tired. It was almost 11:30pm and Kat had a strict bed time of 9:30…. 10 if he was feeling frisky.

“You do realize I don’t need you to walk me home. I’m a pro hero. I think I can take care of myself”

“Psh…. It’s not a criminal I’m worried about taking you out. It’s your clumsy ass coordination. You’re going to end up offing yourself if you don’t learn how to walk like an adult”

Ok so yea… maybe you had sprained your ankle last year while walking up some stairs. That’s wasn’t your fault tho… it was the stair ‘s fault.

“Are you ever gonna let that go?? Isn’t it getting a little old?”

“It still makes me laugh so nope…”

You rolled your eyes at him. He’s such a dick.

You were now walking up the same previously mentioned stairs to your apartment with Katsuki on your heels.

“ Are these the tights you were talking about the other day?? The ones that make your ass look “the best it’s ever looked””

“ Yea!!! Doesn’t it look amazing??!? I gave Mina the link while we were at her house because she mention how fantastic they looked on me”

“Sure I guess. I ain’t seen anything your ass doesn’t look good in but whatever you say”

You didn’t know what to say to that. He was just upfront like that. The man had little to no filter. Thank god you were at your door. You were unlocking it and about to go inside..

“Wait”

You turned around to look at him.

“What’s up”

“I uhm… well….”

“Come on, spit it out. I ain’t got all night”

He stared you directly in your eyes and said

“Fuck it”

Before you had time to react you were pressed up against the wall and his lips were on yours. Calling what happened a kiss seemed to be a real understatement. It was more like he was consuming you. More so than he already had. You got lost in him. Your hands were in his hair and his arms were around your waist pressing you against him.

When he pulled away you found yourself chasing his lips because you were afraid if it stopped, it might never start again.

“Next time, instead of bitching to raccoon eyes about how you don’t think you’re my type, just come straight to me dumbass. Since when do you keep secrets from me?”

You were really trying to pull your train of thought together but it was really hard when his lips still looked so inviting.

Kat realizes you’re not paying attention to him and flicks you in the forehead.

“Hey asshole. You know I hate when you do that”

“Then pull yourself together. I know I kiss like a god but that doesn’t mean you get to space out.”

He was smirking at you. Katsuki Bakugo had just kissed you and was now standing in front of you looking all suave and handsome. If you died here, you’d die a very happy person.

Your brain started playing catch and you realized something

“So you were eavesdropping on a private conversation?? And I wasn’t bitching… she was asking about you and me yet again and I was explaining to her that I didn’t think it’d ever happen”

You said the last part a little softer because you were embarrassed talking about all of this

“I wasn’t eavesdropping… it was shitty hair. Idk what you think my type is but apparently you got it all wrong”

He does not elaborate or tell you that you are his type. He just leaves it at that so you side step it

“I’m gonna kill Eiji…”

You guys sit there for a second until

“Anyways I’m tired . I’m going home to salvage the little bit of sleep I am going to get tonight. See ya later.”

And he turned to leave. Just like that.

“So that’s it… you kiss me, reveal my biggest secret and leave”

All you can do is sit there befuddled and confused.

“Yep. See ya tomorrow”

Katsuki actually leaves after that. He was not playing about his sleep. You do get a message about 10minutes later letting you know he’s home and also requesting the link to the tights you had on that night.

You ask him why he needs that and all he says is that you need them in more colors than just black… ha! You knew your ass looked good in these!

*you do not know until weeks later that in his head, that kiss was the start of y’all’s relationship. Asshole never does actually ask you but what else do you really expect from the angry Pomeranian?🤷🏾‍♀️

[guiltyasdave]

come morning light

chapter 2 • series masterlist

pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

summary: An injured Joel and Ellie stumble into your home in the middle of the night. Against your better judgement, you decide to help them.

word count: ~2.5k

tags/warnings: post outbreak, slow burn, found family, age gap (sorry not sorry), able-bodied reader, angst, reader has a sad sad backstory and ptsd, hurt/comfort, fluff, eventual smut, vague description of an injury

a/n: i'm finally finished with chapter 2, and once again nervous af about it haha. there's not terribly much happening in this one, but i promise we'll get there, it just needs the buildup :)

thank you @catchallfangirl for beta reading <3

follow @guiltyasdavenotifs for fic updates and find my full masterlist here :)

dividers as always by the lovely @saradika-graphics 🤍

You don’t feel like you’ve slept at all, but after hours of tossing and turning in the darkness of your bedroom, you think it’s probably time to get up. 

You’re halfway convinced that last night’s events were a product of your imagination, that your mind has felt so lonely that it conjured up the whole scenario. But when you step out of your bedroom and find the door of your parents’ bedroom only halfway closed, the way you have never left it before saying good night to Ellie earlier, you have to come to terms with the fact that this might actually be your reality. 

Ellie seems to be sound asleep, a lump under the covers, softly breathing, but when you head to the living area and switch on one of the smaller lamps, you’re met with the piercing glare of Joel. He’s still lying on the couch, much like you left him, still pale, still dark shadows under his eyes, but he’s much more awake now, his gaze following your every move. 

“Hey,” you say softly, sinking down on the same armchair that you sat in when you watched him last night while Ellie took a shower. You suppress a shudder at the way he regards you, his eyes flicking up and down your body, taking in your size, you presume, searching for weapons. Your gun is tucked into the waistband at the back of your pants, which you’re sure he’s already aware of. You don’t like the way he makes you feel, like somehow you’re intruding on him. You should have the upper hand, this is your home and he’s injured, you helped him for crying out loud, and here you are, nervously watching his every move. You did the right thing. It’s gonna be fine. 

“Where’s Ellie?” he asks, ignoring your greeting, his voice gruff. 

“Sleeping,” you reply, nodding your head to the bedroom door. “She’s okay, I promise.” 

Some of the tension seems to release from his body and he slumps back down a little, but the distrust in his expression when he looks at you doesn’t waver. Then again, you’re probably not much different. 

“Look,” you sigh, “I’m not playing some kind of game here. You came into my house, I saw that you needed help, so I helped.” You try to infuse your voice with as much confidence as you can. “Don’t make me regret that, okay?” 

He shrugs, a noncommittal grunt the only verbal answer. It could potentially be interpreted as a thanks, you guess. In a less tense situation, you’d probably grow annoyed by now. Shrugging yourself, you get to your feet and head to the kitchen. Anything to escape the way he’s watching your every movement.

“Hey, do you want coffee?” You don’t really want to offer him any, but you’d feel weird drinking it yourself without asking. 

He pipes up at the question, head turning in your direction, his face the most open that you’ve seen it yet. “You have coffee?” 

“Yeah.” That’s why I’m fucking asking. 

“I– yes.” A breath, a second of him not meeting your eyes. “Thanks.” 

You smile, small, fleetingly, busying yourself with the ground beans and the boiling water, reveling in the smell that slowly spreads throughout the room. It reminds you of happier times, when the world was still normal. 

He has pushed himself into a sitting position, breathing heavily, when you walk over to hand him the steaming cup, still careful to keep your distance. 

After you sit back down, the both of you stay silent for a few minutes. You enjoy the bitter taste on your tongue, the way you slowly feel your energy rising. 

“Does it hurt much?” you ask eventually, gesturing towards his stomach. 

Another grunt, the hint of a head shake. 

“So it does.” He opens his mouth, the protest most likely already on his tongue, and you raise an eyebrow. “I have painkillers, are you sure that you–”

“No.” It comes fast, his voice raised, no room for arguments.

You instinctively flinch back at the unexpected louder sound, the cup shaking in your grip. You set it down on the table in front of you. Have your hands free, just in case.

There’s a hint of regret in his eyes, his free hand slightly raised, palm open. He’s trying to calm you down, you realize. 

“Okay,” you breathe, working hard to keep your voice steady, “no painkillers, got it.” 

“Sorry,” he mutters, his face half hidden, words almost lost behind the cup. “Didn’t mean to scare you.” 

“It’s alright,” you tell him as much as yourself. 

You’ve gotten jumpy, not used to loud sounds anymore, raised voices, not used to humans in general, you suppose. You hadn’t fully realized it until now, until there’s other humans around you again.

“Thank you,” he continues unexpectedly, “not just for the coffee, but– you know.” He’s struggling, the words not coming easily, but you think that he’s being earnest. “Patching me up.”

“Of course.” You nod hastily, your heart still beating a little too fast. 

Another moment passes in silence, both of you slowly sipping the coffee. He’s looking around, taking in his surroundings, eyes lingering on the closed wooden doors and the stairs leading up. You try not to get nervous about it. It’s normal that he would want to know more about where he is, after all. 

“This is the basement, right? Is it safe?” 

“Yeah,” you breathe. “No way to get in from outside.” As long as you stay inside, you’re safe.

He hums, appreciatively, you think.

“How long have you been living here?” 

“Always. It’s my parents’ house. I mean–” you laugh, but it comes out hollow, “we lived upstairs, obviously. But my dad was… kinda crazy. Or– not that crazy, I guess, all things considered.” Your lips curl into a wry smile. 

Your mind flashes back to long lectures about survival techniques, learning how to shoot, your father going on and on about first aid, hunting, all the things that you couldn’t have cared less about as a teenage girl, but were ingrained in your brain nonetheless. You’re grateful, now, but it’s laced with guilt about how often you snapped at your father, how often you told him he was paranoid, seeing dangers that weren’t there, that he was wasting your time. You couldn’t have known, the rational part of you argues. But you can never take it back now, the guilt whispers. 

When you look up, Joel’s eyes are on you, eyebrows raised in question. You shake your head, trying to clear it. Stay in the present.

“Sorry, what did you–?” 

Worry is painting his expression. “Are you okay?” 

Don’t show weakness. “Yeah, of course. Just spaced out for a second.” 

You force a smile onto your face and stand up rather abruptly, gathering both cups and putting them into the sink. Joel hasn’t moved, but you feel his eyes on you as you move. 

“Do you, um, do you want to shower, maybe? Or just wash up, I don’t know, how–” You gesture towards the dried bloodstain on his flannel, forcefully keeping your tone light. “I have clean clothes, too, if you want.” 

A shiver runs through you at the thought of going through your dad’s things, of someone else wearing them. He doesn’t need them anymore. He’s not coming back. 

You know that you’ve gone silent for too long again even before you see Joel’s expression. He doesn’t ask this time, but there’s something in his eyes that you can’t place, something that almost looks like understanding. 

“Yeah, I guess cleaning up a bit would be nice. I– thank you. Again” 

His voice is gruff and he avoids your eyes. You think that he doesn’t like it, having to thank you. Owing you. 

Giving him a nod, you head to the bedroom, hoping not to disturb Ellie, but she’s awake already, her eyes glinting in the light that’s falling into the dark room from the living area. You clench your jaw, heading for one of the drawers, trying hard not to think about what you’re doing. It’s not like he ever wore this stuff, it was just sitting down here. It’s fine, you’re fine. 

“Don’t worry, it’s not about you,” Ellie says quietly from beside you, breaking through your racing thoughts. 

You turn towards her, confusion on your face. “What is?”

“Joel,” she shrugs, still keeping her voice low. “He’s like that with everyone. He’s a bit of an asshole, really.” She sounds fond, saying it, like it’s an endearing character trait. 

A surprised laugh escapes you. “I– okay, thanks, I guess.” 

She waves it away, swinging her feet out of the bed. “No, thank you for not murdering me in my sleep.” 

“Yeah, likewise.” You shake your head, still laughing to yourself. It’s so easy to like the girl, to feel like you already know her. 

You hand Joel a pile of clothes, purposefully avoiding to look at them too closely, explain where the towels are and he grumbles his approval before the bathroom door closes behind him. 

You release a breath and close your eyes for a second. You are undeniably warming up to Ellie, finding it almost impossible not to, but her companion is a different story. 

“Hey, do you drink coffee?” you ask in the direction of the bedroom. 

“Ew, no!” comes her reply as she steps out of the door, collecting the wild mess of hair on the top of her head and securing it in a ponytail.

Her offense at the mere suggestion makes you chuckle under your breath as you busy yourself with preparing breakfast in the form of porridge instead. She’s leaning against the doorframe, watching you, her eyes wide as she takes in the cupboards full of supplies. 

You’re glad that you don’t need anything from the storeroom, keeping that door in the corner firmly closed. You want to trust her, want to trust them, but a feeling of unease still lingers at the thought of letting them know just how much you have.

Instead, you voice another question, a thought that fills you with unease as well. 

“Hey,” you begin, keeping your eyes trained on the stove, “I’m sorry, but you and Joel, there– there isn’t anything weird going on, is there?” 

“Like what?” She sounds slightly defensive, but when you steal a glance at her, she’s eyeing you with curiosity. 

“I don’t know, like…” You shrug, stirring the mixture of water and oats, “you want to be here, he’s not forcing you to come with him or anything, right?” 

“No, don’t worry about that,” comes her reply, almost amused. It was a bit of a stupid question, when you think about it, considering how worried she was about him last night, how protective. 

“Okay,” you smile at her. You’re curious nonetheless, how they ended up together and where they’re headed, but it’s probably not really your place to ask. 

You divide the porridge into three bowls and hand her one, while you carry yours and one for Joel back to the living area and set them down on the wooden table. 

Ellie starts shoveling the food down immediately and you’re left wondering once more what happened to them and when they last ate something. 

“So…” Ellie begins, her mouth still half full, “you’re just down here with all this food? Because your dad stored it here, before… things went to shit?” 

You can’t blame her for her curiosity, you’re aware that you’ve probably found yourself in a better living situation than most people. Your thoughts go to the storeroom again, basically stuffed with enough supplies to last you multiple lifetimes, especially now that it’s just… No.

You hum in affirmation, not trusting your voice and you’re thankful that she’s too distracted by her breakfast to notice anything weird about your reaction. 

“So you don’t go out hunting or anything?” comes her next question. You freeze. 

You did go hunting, back when you cared about variance in the meals you prepared, about using fresh ingredients when you could. Until there was no need for that any more. 

You realize that Ellie is saying your name, not for the first time, judging from the look on her face. 

“Sorry,” you mumble, your hands tightening around the bowl. “No, I- I don’t go hunting.”

If she finds the situation weird, she shrugs it off impressively fast. 

She nods to herself, eating quietly for a minute, before she speaks up again. “So what do you… do? Down here all day?” 

“Uh…” What is it that you do all day? Time has been blurring together, days without anything happening repeating on a constant loop. You realize that you don’t remember, can’t talk of any activities that are part of your day. How long has it been like this?

You’re relieved from having to answer by Joel emerging from the bathroom, his face pale and his breaths going heavy. He has put on the sweatpants you gave him, but his torso is bare, the skin around the injury still an angry red. 

He sinks back down into the cushions with a heavy sigh and you quickly get to work, cleaning the wound once more and giving him more antibiotics before you redo the bandages and hope for the best. Your hands don’t shake as badly as they did last night. 

Ellie gets him some water and pushes his bowl of porridge into his hands, urging him to eat, before she turns to you. She’s trying to be strong, to hide her worry, but the pleading look in her eyes when she asks you if he’s gonna be okay tells a different story. 

“Of course,” you say, giving her what you hope to be a reassuring smile. 

Joel does look better after he’s eaten something, but his eyelids are drooping and after a few more minutes, his eyes close and his breath evens out. You do the dishes and check the cameras, calming down a bit more when you’re sure that everything seems to be quiet upstairs. 

When you return to the living area, Ellie is rummaging through her pack, muttering to herself, until she pulls a book out of, proudly turning the cover for you to read it. No pun intended - Volume Too.

She starts reading them to you while you settle back down with a second cup of coffee and you share her laughs, enjoying the way it makes her look lighter, allows her to be a kid who can laugh at stupid jokes. You ignore the sting it causes in your chest because you once knew someone who would have loved this book just as much as Ellie does.

thank you for reading 🤍 if you liked this, please consider reblogging, leaving a comment or sending an ask, it truly makes my day every single time!

[nymphomatique]

special affair

dbf!miguel o’hara x fem!reader

art credit: _insomniac_red_ on ig. pictures are for mood setting, reader has no specific race or physical descriptions.

cw: a lil angsty, this is just shameless smut im sorry guys i don’t know what came over me, daddy kink, dbf!miguel <3, unspecified age gap but reader is legal, rough sex, squirting, unprotected sex, miguel is not a good man, conflicted reader, creampie, lowkey breeding kink, degrading language, choking/breath play, face slapping, spitting, mentions of oral (m), overstimulation, crying/dacryphillia, pubic hair grinding? lmao idk, reader is alluded to being in sub space. not proofread lol. 18+ only.

wc: ~1.5k

❤︎ an: hi my loves!! this is a sorta part two to this drabble, but can be read as a stand alone one shot. tbh i wrote this w my pussy.. i’m ovulating rn i’m so ashamed of myself 😔 nevertheless, enjoy! if you guys want more don’t hesitate to lmk!!

from that first night he fucked you from behind, you knew you strayed too far from the status quo in your life, you’re at the point of no return. that night, when he finished pounding you from behind and defiling you further with his seed all over your back and ass, you had laid in that position— spent and on your stomach- for the rest of the night, silently sobbing. you had betrayed your father, that much you were aware of the day you started rubbing at yourself meekly in the dead of the night thinking about his best friend.

you had long come to terms with that guilt, accepting whatever image of a burning inferno there is in the afterlife. what you cannot come to terms with, is the fact that he- miguel- had actually fucked you, indulged in what you considered your own taboo thoughts, ripping them from page and making your crude thoughts a sick reality. the worst part of this all is that amidst it all, the mental beratement, the nights you spent crying, the sick feeling the memories of miguel’s cock stretching you absolutely thin, showing you a climax like no other— you want to hate yourself for it, for being weak. for being such a bad girl. but you didn’t know why your body decided to betray your brain, the physical craving for the older man’s body possessing you whole. you can’t bear this feeling, holding it up inside you and trying to keep it at bay. fuck- you needed to talk to someone, you had to, even if it’s the last person you want to speak to.

nevertheless, you end up two houses down, sniffling and heaving in the dead of the night, knocking the door as hard as your trembling hands would let you. the door swings open and at the sight of him you keen, your body aching at the sight of the burly muscles covered in sun kissed skin. dark brown hair streaked with grey at the temples. a slight five o’clock shadow, he must not have shaved this morning. and then you look into those eyes, swallowing you up whole and you begin to tear up again. miguel is silent, leaning against the door with messy hair, glazed eyes and clad in boxers, and boxers only. fuck, you shouldn’t have come here.

“I-.. Miguel, it hurts,” you sob quietly, aflame with shame and embarrassment at how little resolve you had. He grabs your face with his warm hands and you’re trembling now, ready for him. your lips ghost for a moment before he breathes out. “i’m not a good man, sweetheart. if you don’t say no, i’m gonna break you.” he sounds sincere with his words and his eyes go stern. you wish you had some self of self control, or maybe having better discernment. but the only thing you say to him only confirms what you already knew about yourself; you’re a terrible fucking person. 

“violate me.”

your lips are smashed against each other, tongues dancing and it feels so good to be in his embrace again. your tears fall down your cheeks, meeting at the junction of your mouths in a pool of saliva. miguel groans and you know why, remembering what he had said to you the last time.

“i like when you cry.”

you’re grabbed up at the hips, legs wrapped around a thick torso, pressed up against a firm chest and a heavy cock. the moments up to the bedroom are cloudy, drunk off his lips against yours. you come to slightly when cold plush sheets hit your back and a pair of lips leave yours. you whine, yearning for his touch again. he looks down at you, bringing your right foot to his mouth, he licks lightly up the sole- kissing the ball of your foot before he leans down, caging your between his elbows, face to face.

“you gonna be good for your daddy?” he asks softly, kissing between the bridge of your nose once. 

“y-yes,” you breathe out with a slow nod. 

“mmm. gonna let me violate this tight little body too?” he asks, still soft in tone and you think you’re gonna go crazy by the end of the night. “yes, daddy,” you murmur, lost in his eyes. 

“sick fucking little girl. but that’s how i like it,” he chuckles, kissing you softly before getting up stripping you bare.

“letting your daddy undress you like a good girl. so obedient f’me,” he coos at you, touching you softly and you’re almost in tears. you need him. and you let it be known. a lone tear falls down your cheek and you mewl, “n-need you to make it better down there, daddy.”

his large hand engulfs you cheek, thumb wiping your tear softly before squishing your face, putting his tear stained thumb in your mouth. “you think you’re a big girl now, hmm? telling your daddy what to do?” you look up at him teary eyed, suckling his thick finger.

“you take what i give you, when i give it to you.” he squeezes you cheek a little harder before softly slapping your cheek and you squeak at the contact. a rough laugh leaves miguel’s mouth at your reaction. “you have no idea how bad i’m gonna treat you, baby.”

you’re non verbal at this point, mouth agape and leaking saliva down your jaw seeping into the sheets and the junction of your neck and chest. a hand slaps your cheek again, you’ve lost how many that is now. “i fucked you stupid already?” miguel laughs, hard thrusts sending you flying up the bed. his hands on your hips bring you down back to him each time, poking you right in that sweet spot in your pussy. you’ve lost count of how many orgasms you’ve head, body wracked and numb with pleasure. throat hoarse from the near-violent throat fuck he gave you.

a glob of spit hits your forehead and you groan a bit. the one thing you’re sure of is that you look a goddamned mess. a crude picture of the activity you’ve been partaking in for the past two hours. a hand leaves your hip to wrap around your neck and squeeze roughly, making you gasp for air, your body finally moving.

“there we go, got you moving now. thought i fucked you to sleep for a second.” 

your eyes are glossy, at the lack of air and building pressure. your hand meekly wraps around his wrist as he fucks into you. you know you shouldn’t like the way he toys with you like this, waking the line of torment and pleasure with no care in the world. but you do. and you can’t deny it anymore.

“you’re tightening up on me again. you gonna cum for me again?” miguel asks you, and he laughs after knowing you can’t even answer him. “sick little girl. you like it when i choke you? make you feel weak? worthless?” 

it’s barely audible, but the moan you let out vibrates in your neck and miguel can feel it with the hand pressed against your throat. he throws his head back with a groan. “nasty, naughty girl. fuck baby, gonna cum in that little pussy.”

you’re almost there, and quite frankly impressed that you haven’t fully passed out yet. your head feels light, and you begin to tremble violently, gushing out spurts of liquid as your head falls to the side. if this is hell, you’re not so sure you could give this up for heaven. your eyes close and you feel so close to falling asleep when he removes his hand from your neck, grabbing your head by the nape of your neck, craning you up to where you can see his thick cock slip and slide between your thighs. you groan at the image. 

“need you awake to see me cum in you, don’t i?” miguel groans. “you like watching me fuck you, like letting me dirty you.”

 his tuft of black pubic hair rubs against yours as his thrusts become increasingly sporadic and intense, and it has you trembling at the stimulation it gives your clit. you weakly squirt each time his pelvis brushes against your clit, your body letting you know you have only so much left in you before you’re drained empty.

“fuck, love it when you wet the bed. my pissy little girl. daddy loves the messes you make.” he’s nearly breathless and you pray he’s going to cum in the next minute, the ache in your neck and dull sensation in your pussy building slowly.

“c-cum in me. wanna give you a baby,” you moan, looking up from the fast thrusts and into miguel’s eyes. 

“fuck! so n-naughty, baby. gonna give me another one, huh? fucking take it, then.” with a final thrust, you feel the warmth of his cum shoot and blossom somewhere deep within you. you moan weakly, one final weak spurt of squirt coming out of you. miguel pulls out and you watch him look at the mess he made of you and your pussy, covered in spit, cum and the beginnings of handprint bruises blossoming on your hips and ass from how hard he gripped and spanked you. 

you can feel his cum slowly trickle out of you, and your body feels like it’s no longer your own. after so many orgasms, your limbs are on fire, and you can do nothing but breathe and weakly murmur a “d-daddy..” while your eyes close.

tags: @realhotgirlshitah @obsessed-with-miguels-ass @maxiethestrange

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[jade-jini]

“Why are you here?”

G!PHuh Yunjin x Reader

A continuation of My Ex's Best Friend. Read that first bro.

Prompt: After the events of "meeting" your friend's new gf (who turned out to be your ex) and her incredibly hot (and super kind) best friend, it still seems like you both can't stay away from each other. Even when your dates are in the same club with you.

Genre: Smut. Angst? lek it deesn't make me sad

TW: Cheating, friend betrayal. Public sex. Breeding kink.

Why. Just why. Why did she have to be there? Why did you have to be there?!

“Oh! There they are, let’s go!” Chaewon excitedly said while pulling you by the hand to a table in the club. Oh. That’s why.

After such a fun time with Chaewon on the night of that basically unofficial double date with Yunjin and NingNing, you guys started spending a lot of time together. You would hang out from time to time, but 95% of the time you were with each other was spent naked, either in your bed, hers, your car, etc.

Whenever you hang out with NingNing, she would refer to Chaewon as your “girlfriend”, even though you clarify that you guys were not a couple at all. You talked about it with Wonie, and she was more than ok with just being fwb, since it was obvious (specially in you) that you guys just weren’t planning on starting another relationship. Still, NingNing would tease you about it. And after learning who you were to Yunjin, she’d refer to her only by “my girl”. You didn’t wanna think your friend was jealous of you, but she wasn’t helping her case. NingNing was as transparent as they come. You knew how she felt, you were just grateful it didn’t seem to be such a big deal yet.

“Hi there!” Your best friend said to you and chaewon once you were in her range of vision. “oh my goddd I’m so glad we are doing this.” She said while softly shaking your arm and exchange a kiss on the cheek with your date.

Yes. Her and chaewon planned this now official double date. In their minds, the four of you agreed on it. But Yunjin and you knew this was the last thing you guys wanted. That’s why you simply smiled at each other as a hello. I mean, you guys were exes, why would you want to be in the same space as the other? But now that you’re seeing her this night, with that beautiful dress that was letting her legs and shoulders show, with a color that contrasted perfectly with her skin. You couldn’t help let your eyes travel up and down her body.

“Hey, did you hear me?” You felt Chaewon shaking your shoulder and bringing you back to reality. You shook your head slightly. Your attention was supposed to be in the girl next to you, not a girl from your past. Let alone your best friend’s partner. You looked at Chaewon and you could tell she noticed your distracted eyes, so you smiled at her and silently asked her to repeat, while holding her hand trying to act like nothing happened. She seemed to buy it. “I’m gonna go get a drink, what do you want me to get you?”

“Just get me the same you get, I’m sure it’ll be good.” You answered, shortly caressing her chin. You could see the little blush in her face as you did that. Chaewon was such a cutie, it shouldn’t be wasn’t hard to stay focused on her. You saw her and Yunjin get up to get the drinks, leaving you and your best friend alone. And for the first time in a long time, it felt awkward.

“She looks great doesn’t she?” She suddenly said. You looked at your friend and nodded. “Yunjin I mean.”

“I know” you thought, but stopped yourself from speaking. You knew what NingNing was doing, trying to get some type of “evidence” that you were still into “her” girl. It was a trap. And you were an idiot but still weren’t gonna fall for it.

“Oh I was talking about Chaewon, bro. But yeah, your girl looks nice too” you answered nonchalantly. “And so do you, got me wishing you were single” you jokingly added with a wink and a kiss sent her way, trying to smooth the atmosphere a little bit. Luckily, it got a little giggle out of her. And just in time as the other two girls came back to the table. You saw how Yunjin made herself comfortable on NingNing’s lap and your mood changed again, feeling slightly uncomfortable at the sight. However, Chaewon quickly distracted you by giving you your drink with a smile and whispering a “hey” with those sparkly eyes that could melt anybody. You smiled and said hi back, hugging her by her shoulders and making sure she was comfortable while she started a conversation with NingNing. Good. That was good.

But fuck. At the moment your eyes went back to the front, you could catch Yunjin’s dark eyes looking at both of you and how her demeanor didn’t look as friendly as a minute ago. “Was she jealous?” You thought. Nah. It didn’t make sense. 1. She was the one who broke up with you. And 2. She was there with her girlfriend so how could that be. She had that extra sexy and serious that surrounded her when jealous so… god but she has been looking so hot all night.

Maybe you were starting to understand why NingNing felt jealous about you. Maybe your feelings weren’t exactly there anymore (right?) , but how could anybody stop the attraction towards the goddess in front of you? You were just a human. However, you needed to at least pretend the way your eyes and body were acting was only because of the girl next to you. So for most of the night you tried to focus on Chaewon and Chaewon only.

And it worked… for most of the night.

More drinks came and started to make effect. Sitting down was not fun anymore so the four of you decided to move to the dance floor. The songs were getting more sensual, the atmosphere was hot. Feeling Chaewon’s back against your front while she danced and lost herself in the rhythm, she could feel your breath against her neck while your hands were softly guiding her hips. You were having a good time, seriously considering taking her hand and dragging her to the nearest and emptiest room you could find in the club, until you made the mistake of looking at the couple in front of you. Why.

Right there was your best friend basically rubbing her ass slowly against your ex’s crotch while the latter was smiling at her and biting her lip, moving with her. what the fuck?? That wasn’t even dancing at this point! You didn’t want to process it, but you felt upset. Uncomfortable. Jealous. No. Yes. Fuck.

Fuck. Not jealous. Not of her. God why. You thought while you turned Chaewon around.

“Hey I’m gonna go to the bathroom and then I’ll go outside to smoke for a minute ok?” You let her know, ready to make your way out of the dance floor, just needing to be away from those two, knowing that the alcohol wouldn’t let you act nor think straight. Chaewon looked at you a little confused and asked “are you ok?”.

“Yes yes don’t worry, I’ll be back soon. Just have fun.” You told her and kissed her forehead before leaving, being unsurprisingly sweet. Sometimes you two did cute little acts like this to each other, looking like a couple. It was cute and you knew it. But right now you were so upset ‘cause of your jealousy that you couldn’t give a fuck about that.

Since her eyes were stuck on you, Yunjin clearly noticed you leaving, and followed you until she saw where did you go.

“Baby I’m gonna go pee ok? I’ll be back soon” she whispered in NingNing’s ear, who was far too drunk to care so she simply nodded and grabbed chaewon to continue dancing with her. Yunjin smiled, knowing that at least they’ll distract each other enough for her to properly talk to you now. She needed to know why Tf you wouldn’t even look her in the eye during the whole night. What was going on?

———

You were upset, yes. But mostly at yourself. Why. Why was she here. Why were you here and why were you so jealous?! Yes she is your ex but you guys broke up a long time ago. You were over her! Right…?

Yes! Yes you were. You had to be. Plus, she was your best friend’s girlfriend. You had to respect that. NingNing didn’t know who she was to you before getting with her. She didn’t break any friendship code. And you couldn’t do it neither.

“Y/n?” you heard a familiar voice outside your stall. The last voice you wanted to hear at the moment.

“I’ll be out in a minute.” You told Yunjin, while splashing some water in your face in hope you’ll look less stressed once you went out.

“Are you ok?” She asked, concern in her voice.

“I said I’ll be out in a minute, Yunjin.” You said with a tone more aggressive than expected but you just weren’t in the mood to deal with, well, nothing. You finally made your way out of the stall and faced her.

“Jeez ok I’m sorry! I was just asking...” She said once you opened the door. “… are you sure you’re ok tho?”

“Oh my god.” You sighed as you rolled your eyes, not caring to answer. You were walking out of the bathroom when you felt a hand grabbed your wrist and pulled you a little too close to her body “what the fuck, Jen?! Why are you here?”

“Why are you so angry at me? What did I do now?” She asked, tired of your attitude. You sighed again, too tired to even fight her.

“You didn’t do anything. I’m just not in the best mood right now ok?” You tried giving her a decent explanation that wasn’t completely a lie.

“Why? What’s wrong?” But this is Yunjin we’re talking about. She cares and a lot, and she always insists, a lot.

“No reason, just because. I think I’ll tell Wonie I wanna go home…” you didn’t wanna ruin the girl’s night but your own head killed the vibe and you were tired in more than one way. Plus it was 12:05 already, it wasn’t that early neither right? Right?

“But why…”

“Yunjin, I just told you-”

“Y/n, you can talk to me. We were friends before, why can’t we be friends again-”

“We can never be friends, Yunjin!” You almost yelled at her. You could see the sadness hitting her face after the surprise of your loud voice. But cmon, she knew this already. “You know it’s true. There’s just too much” you pointed at her and you back and forth “in here. And we’ve always been very bad at stopping or ignoring it. The only time we were ever able to do it was once we were as far away from each other as possible. And now…”

“And now what?” She asked, and you couldn’t tell if what you heard in her voice was some type of hope.

“And now you’re way too close and I’m way too jealous and my mind is not exactly here and if you don’t walk away right now I don’t know what I’m gonna do.” You confessed and got even angrier at yourself. Why Tf did you sound desperate. What was going on.

“What if I want to find out what you’re gonna do if I don’t walk away?” She whispered basically on top of your lips.

“Yunjin…” you silently begged her, but you weren’t sure what you were begging for. Maybe you were begging for her not to push you to probably ruin your friendship with Ning. Maybe you were begging her to finally let you. Or maybe you were begging her to never do it again.

“What, y/n?” She whispered, looking at your eyes and then back at your lips. She looked hungry and you were sure you looked even worse.

“God I fucking hate you.” You said before pushing her inside the stall and closing the door. The moment the door was closed you pushed her against it and kissed her like she was oxygen. Once your lips connected you couldn’t help but moan in each other’s mouths. It felt so fucking good. Her lips tasted so fucking good.

“Oh my god…” she sighed once your lips went to her neck. You weren’t trying to leave a mark, you just wanted to enjoy the taste of her skin again. The feeling of it. The feeling of her hands in your hair keeping you close. Of her- wow. Oh yeah. Totally the feeling of that.

“So hard already?” You teased her while giggling, feeling her little big friend against your thigh. You heard her whimper, probably a little embarrassed.

“It’s too easy when it’s you, you know that. Plus you’ve been looking so good all night, can’t blame me.” She defended herself and pouted. God you really deserved a star for containing yourself all this time ‘cause how the fvck did you stop yourself from kissing her. Luckily right now you were able to do it as much as you wanted to. And so you did, while grabbing her cock over her dress, swallowing the moan that escaped her lips.

You felt too hyped. Too turned on. You wanted Yunjin and everything about her and you wanted it now, so you didn’t waste time in moving her dress and pulling down her underwear, masturbating her member. The girl in front of you rested her head against the door, biting her lip and enjoying the feeling of your hand.

“Did you grow or am I insane?” You asked her genuinely, eyeing her cock ‘cause last time you checked she was a little shorter than now, and that was already a lot back then. “Hey, I asked you a question.”

“ I- I don’t know.. god don’t stop doing that please…” Yunjin begged, fighting to keep her eyes opened.

“I’ll do something better, check this” you said while gettin on your knees. Yunjin could barely process what you were about to do when she felt your tongue licking her length from the base to the tip, and wrapping around the tip.

“Holy fuck, yes y/n!” She moaned a little too loud getting her hands on your hair. You quickly got on your feet and put your hand on her mouth.

“Jesus Yunjin shut the fuck up!” You whispered-screamed at her. But almost regretted it when she gave you those scolded puppy eyes.

“I- I’m sorry, it just felt too good I couldn’t help it…” she defended herself and how could you be angry at her. How could you ever be angry at her for any reason?

“I know puppy, I’m sorry. Just be careful with your volume ok?” You told her in a rather softly tone now, the nickname tasting so natural in your mouth and you could see the spark in her eyes when she heard it and the sweet voice. If there was something she missed like crazy was that. She nodded and left a kiss on your lips. “How are you so hot and cute at the same time?! What’s with that?!” you asked with a frown making her giggle. But quickly that stopped when you went back to your knees to keep giving her cock some attention. This time, she tried her best to stay as quiet as possible.

“God I missed your mouth so much. Your tongue feels so good…” she whispered while caressing your hair, looking at you and rolling her eyes when you got almost all her length inside your mouth “oh my god…”

“I swear this thing got bigger…” you said, sounding almost upset that you were struggling taking it all when you’ve done it before multiple times. For some reason, Yunjin found this funny. “What you laughing at?”

“Nothing nothing” she said smiling and suddenly she got an idea that made her bite her lip. Such a sexy view. “What if we measure that somewhere else though…”

Oh. Oh you were so down for that.

“Come here.” You said getting up and kissing her deep. You felt the tall girl grab your legs and carrying you, making you sit on the edge of the sink. She got in between your legs while her kisses started going down. Yunjin moved your panties to the side, while making her way down between your legs. Before her mouth touched your so needy zone, she was staring at it and you could swear she was drooling.

“You look like a dog right now, you know?” You teased her. It was true though, she looked desperate. “Fucking taste it already if you want it that bad.” Yunjin rolled her eyes at you.

“Oh shut up. Like you c-”

“Oh my god, Shut up already.” You interrupted her, forcing her face to your cunt. You could feel her moaning against it , the vibrations just adding to the pleasure her mouth was giving you. God, you could die right there knowing nothing could compare to Yunjin’s tongue all over your pussy. “Hmm that’s it. That’s a good girl. Make me come like this and maybe I’ll let you put that big cock inside me, yes puppy?” You said to her while stroking her hair, her eyes never leaving you and you knew how much she needed that ‘cause she started putting her mouth to work even better than before if that was possible. “Oh my God… you’re such a slut for this pussy aren’t you? Just the idea of being inside it m-making you work hard for it huh?”

You saw her nod as her tongue went up and down your folds, at the same time that you felt the tip of two of her fingers teasing your entrance. She did this for a few more seconds until she felt you ready to get those long fingers inside you. She started a fast rhythm rather soon though, and you were ok with it, knowing what was coming couldn’t even compare. You could see Yunjin practically fighting against the impulse of humping the air. She needed to be inside you. But if she gets to make you come in her mouth first, then she wasn’t gonna miss that chance. What a horny puppy, you thought. She better made you come fast otherwise you were just gonna give her the satisfaction of not waiting and fucking you in that exact second.

“Hmmm you taste so fucking good…” she whispered before going back to sucking and licking on your clit. You wanted to moan so loud, feeling your climax close, but knowing there was the chance of somebody else being in that bathroom at that exact moment, you decided to take Yunjin’s wrist and bring the fingers that were inside you to your mouth. “God, you are so hot.” She moaned and stopped to look at you, getting fixated on the way you were sucking on her fingers, wishing it was her dick instead.

“Be quiet. Show me that tongue, I wanna fuck your pretty mouth.” You almost ordered her, your voice getting deeper and getting her so excited you could see her imaginary tail moving side to side. She didn’t waste no time and did as she was told. And it was such a perfect image; Yunjin on her knees for you, with her mouth open waiting for you to use it. You grabbed her hair just tight enough to keep her in place, and started rubbing your cunt against her tongue. “Fuck yeah baby, your mouth is so good.” You moaned with your eyes closed. Yunjin was glad you did, ‘cause while you focus on that she started touching herself. Enough to stimulate her but not too much that she was gonna come. Fuck no, she was saving all that for when she was inside you.

“Fuck, Yunjin…” you started to move faster. Yunjin took her hands off her dick and started playing with your nipples, knowing how sensitive they were and that that would help you reach your high faster. “I’m gonna come.. oh my god yes..” you stopped yourself from making any loud noise and bit your hand hard, coming in the girl’s mouth so much she would never forget the taste of your cunt (not like she ever could before tonight). “Holy fuck… that was so good…” you said out of breath. Yunjin got on her feet, just looking at you and begging not only for your praise but also to finally have her own relief. You looked at her and her cock’s head was so red you almost felt bad for making her wait. Almost.

“such a good puppy. Come here” you called her. You didn’t have to tell her twice, she got so close her cock was rubbing against your pussy, making both of you moan. You started rubbing it with your hand as well. “You did so good, it’s only fair we make you come just as good right?” You asked and without waiting for an answer you put the head of her cock inside you, seeing how the girl bit her lip and closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling. Yunjin started to slowly get more inside, and you felt every single inch almost touching your soul. God, you missed it too much.

Once she was completely inside you, she put her hand on your mouth, then put half of her cock out just to thrust inside you hard. Fucking bitch. It hurt, but it hurt so good you couldn’t not love it, specially when she was sucking on your tits at the same time, making you wonder why did she take so long to put those in her mouth. Yunjin started a not so slow rhythm, loving the way your wet pussy tightens around her cock. She fitted so perfectly inside you. She reached every spot, and god she sounded and looked so hot while getting lost in her own pleasure.

“Fuck, I missed this fucking pussy so much.” She groaned in your ear, your hands traveling to her back so your nails could leave some light decoration there. “You missed me too, didn’t you, baby? Missed being fucked this good, huh? B-being able to squeeze this cock so good inside? Fuck…Ahh…y/n..~” her words were doing things to you, making you tighter around her, almost begging she’d never get out of you.

“You’re r-right, y/n. We can never be friends. Not when I love being inside you this much.” She said, now slower but deeply getting in and out of you, making you moan against her hand and not daring to look away from her eyes. “Not when it feels like we were made for each other.”

“Like you were made to fill me up this good?” You whispered after taking her hand and lowering it.

“Fuck yeah…” she moaned almost out of breath, her voice showing how your words affect her. You could feel her hard cock twitching inside you. “I wanna come so bad inside you right now, please let me…”

And God, who were you to say no when she was asking like that. You always loved how she would ask for permission to come, and how she’d beg you to let her do it inside. You didn’t know who loved it more; if her or you.

“Fuck. Please do it. Fuck me faster and fill me up” you whispered in her hear, knowing how much she liked when you talk her through it.

“God, keep talking..” she said while grabbing the back of your thighs and suddenly fucking you fast against the wall. You bit her shoulder to avoid screaming, and she could feel the little tears of pleasure against the side of her face, which just turned her on even more. “You like this don’t you? My cock fucking you so deep and hard…”

“So fucking hard…” you could barely make any sense, feeling your second orgasm close. “Fuck fuck fuck, yes! Fuck Yunjin…”

“I’m gonna come. Gonna put a fucking baby inside you, yeah?” You could tell she was out of her mind at the moment too. But whatever was coming out of her mouth was pushing you closer and closer to your climax. “Would you like that, huh? Me coming inside you so much ‘till I get you fucking pregnant? Filling this pussy so much like nobody else… Fuck..! oh shit…oh y/n!” and that’s when you guys couldn’t hold it any longer.

“Holy fuck, Yunjin…!” You came intensely, moaning her name again and again in her ear, holding her so close to you. Your own orgasm making her dick feel more sensitive if that was possible, making the taller girl reach her own climax.

You could feel Yunjin coming so much inside you, her erratic movements while she fucked her cum deeper inside your cunt. God she missed that feeling. Nothing felt better than your pussy. Yunjin felt tears of pleasure and joy in the corner of her eyes. You could only watch her, her mouth open, her frowned expression. All while her cock was still spilling cum inside you that if it weren’t ‘cause of how big Yunjin was, you know it’d be going down your thighs until it ruined the floor of that bathroom. “God you feel so good, you feel so fucking good…” she sobbed with a shaky voice on your shoulder while slowly putting you down. Her moves slowing down, still head in the clouds ‘cause of her orgasm. You stroked her hair, helping her calm down. She was such a sensitive one, and you loved that. You always have.

“Shh it’s ok baby, you did so good. You were so so good.” You whispered while leaving kisses on her sweaty forehead, and you could feel her arms around your waist as she cuddled against your shoulder even more. For a moment you both forgot where you were, the things that happened, and who you were supposed to be with right now. It was her and you and you didn’t give a single fuck about the outside world.

But that wasn’t gonna last. It’s a fucking bathroom in a club. And that’s your “best friend”’s girlfriend. Who was probably looking for her girlfriend right now so you better get the fuck outta that place.

“Um..” you started, not wanting to but slightly pushing her away from you just enough to both have a little bit of space. She looked at you confused. “I think we should get out now.”

“What?” She asked, like she was still trapped in your little bubble.

“NingNing and Chaewon are probably wondering where are we, that’s if NingNing didn’t go out to buy a gun to kill me already” you tried to joke, but your giggle came out so bitter and you could tell Yunjin was reading your true feelings in your eyes. Still, what were you both supposed to do?

“Right. Yeah…” she said, trying to smile too, as if it was a way of agreeing with you that you were choosing to ignore the things that happened a minute ago, and the feelings that wanted to go crazy on your skin. Once both of you looked a little more presentable, you decided that you’d leave first and go outside to pretend you were smoking, while she would pretend she was at the bathroom in the second floor.

You went outside and got close to a zone where a few girls were chatting and smoking, hoping the smell would stick to your clothes enough that the group you came with would believe it. Once you made your way back to the inside of the club, you could see Yunjin once again sitting on NingNing’s lap, hugging her by the shoulder while the couple were happily talking with your date. Chaewon saw you first, and her smile became wider. You walked to the table and did your best to look as relaxed as you would after a cigarette. Wonie continued with what she was saying as she made herself comfortable on your shoulder. You sighed and rested your head against hers ‘cause honestly you were tired. You tried smiling so none of them would be able to read you but you knew there was one person in that table whose smile was saying just the same as yours. You could always read those eyes and that smile and at least tell when there was something that wasn’t happiness in there. You read them again and again during the last days of your relationship. How you wish you could’ve changed t- no no no. No.

She was your best friend’s girlfriend now. And NingNing was a great girl. And so was chaewon (who wasn’t your official girlfriend but didn’t exactly deserve her date fucking her best friend). And what you did was entirely wrong. But you couldn’t change it, just how you couldn’t change your past with Yunjin and the things that went wrong and lead you to this situation.

Oh god. it’s the post nut clarity.

[03jyh23]

🌊⌇such a lonely heart┆kim hongjoong

married, hongjoong x gn!reader

│synopsis: if you can't find another reason to stay, then i know i'm gonna always have a lonely heart

│genre: hurt no comfort, angst

│trigger warnings: emotional distress, heartbreak, relationship conflict

│words: 4.1 k

│reminder: what you’re about to read is purely fiction, so let’s keep it separate from reality.

!minors do not interact!

— hi there my lovely people! it feels like forever since i last posted, and oh god, i’m so happy to be back! my hiatus ended up lasting much longer than i intended, and coming back after such a long time is honestly nerve-wracking. this piece of writing took me a long time to complete, but i’m really proud of it. once again, it’s a hongjoong angst with a personal touch, and i think hongjoong will always have that cathartic role in my stories. i hope you guys can feel the emotions i’ve woven into it. thank you for sticking with me—i can’t wait to hear what you think.

love, mon ♡

It was late Thursday night. You were curled up on your bed, blanket wrapped tightly around you, staring blankly at the wall. It was unbearable. Was your mind numb, or was it so full of thoughts that they all clashed together, making you feel overwhelmed and empty simultaneously? You let yourself break again, letting the flood of thoughts and feelings consume you whole. You were drowning, unable to stop the spiral of despair that clawed at you. 

Eighteen times. 

Hongjoong ignored your calls eighteen times tonight. 

And that was your breaking point.

You felt the weight of each ignored call like a stone in your chest, pressing down, making breathing hard. The silence from his end was deafening, drowning out even the sound of your own heartbeat. You wondered, with a bitter taste in your mouth, if this was what it felt like to be truly alone. It wasn't anything new, you spent your nights alone, most of them sleepless as the lack of warmth in your husband's body made it impossible to get some rest. After tossing and turning, you would eventually catch a few hours of sleep, only to wake up in an empty bed. The routine had become painfully familiar. The cold sheets on his side of the bed were a constant reminder of his absence. You'd reach out, hoping against hope, but your fingers would only meet the cool fabric, untouched and undisturbed. 

Anyone would have thought you'd get used to it by now - Hongjoong leaving early for his office and coming back too late to spend time with you. But he would always text that he was doing extra hours or going out for a beer with friends. Tonight, however, was different. There was only radio silence. And nothing hurt more than the quiet. The absence of his usual messages left an ache in your chest that you couldn't ignore. You found yourself checking your phone obsessively, hoping for any sign of communication. But the screen remained stubbornly blank, a stark reminder of the growing distance between you. 

As the hours ticked by, your mind raced with possibilities, each one more unsettling than the last. Was he okay? Had something happened? Or was this simply the new normal - a silence that spoke volumes about the state of your relationship? 

The sound of the door creaking open finally pulled you from your thoughts. Through the narrow gap between the door and its frame, you saw a thin line of light, and then your eyes drifted up to see your husband. Hongjoong stepped into your shared apartment, his ginger hair damp from the rain. He ran his hand through it, pushing the wet strands away from his face, before peeling off his soaked beige coat and slipping off his shoes. You swallowed the lump rising in your throat at the sight of him, tears prickling your eyes again. You blinked rapidly, trying to push them back, gripping the blanket tighter as if it could shield you from the wave of emotions crashing inside you. The fabric pulled up to your chin, a flimsy barrier between you and the ache that had settled deep in your chest. 

The light went out as Hongjoong moved further into the apartment, past the door of your bedroom without a word. He didn’t even glance in your direction. What was wrong? Or was he simply trying to avoid waking you, assuming you should be asleep instead of quietly falling apart? One way or another, it was far too late for him to walk back in like nothing had happened. The silence that followed felt colder than before, sinking into your already worn-out body. 

You could hear him in the living room, the soft rustle of the wardrobe doors opening. Was he planning to sleep on the couch again tonight? You untangled yourself from the blanket, standing quietly before slipping out of the bedroom. The weight of exhaustion and frustration clung to you as you made your way to the kitchenette. You didn’t want to fight. Not tonight. You poured yourself a glass of cold water, grabbed the bottle of painkillers from one of the drawers, and swallowed a couple of pills, hoping they’d dull the throbbing in your head. You glanced at Hongjoong as you set the glass down. He had stopped mid-motion, his hands frozen on the pillow he was arranging on the sofa. Your eyes met briefly, the silence between you thick with unspoken words. As you had guessed, he was indeed preparing to sleep on the couch tonight. The realization sent a fresh wave of pain through your chest. You averted your gaze, unable to bear the weight of his silent stare any longer. The distance between you felt insurmountable, even though you were just a few feet apart in the same room. 

You stood in the dim light of the kitchen, hands gripping the edge of the counter as you tried to steady your breathing. Then, the words you’d been holding back for too long slipped out before you could stop them. "Where were you tonight?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. The question hung in the air, heavy with the weight of all the unanswered calls and unread messages. 

You took a deep breath, steadying yourself before continuing. "I called you eighteen times, Hongjoong. Eighteen. And not once did you pick up or call back. What's going on?" Your eyes met his again, searching for any sign of explanation or remorse. "Are we... are we okay?" The last question came out softer, more vulnerable, betraying the fear that had been gnawing at you all night. The words felt like they had a life of their own, carrying the weight of nights spent alone, of unanswered calls, and of the slow unraveling of something you once thought was unbreakable. You didn’t dare turn around, didn’t want to see the look on his face. Whether it was guilt, anger, or indifference, you couldn’t handle any of it. 

The silence stretched longer, and every second that ticked by only made your heart sink deeper. 

Finally, you heard him shift behind you, his footsteps hesitant, as if he wasn’t sure how to approach the fragile moment. The tension in the room felt suffocating, but you stood your ground, gripping the counter tighter, waiting for him to say something—anything—to break the silence. 

But nothing came. 

Tired. You were both tired—of the silence, of the distance, of pretending everything was fine when it clearly wasn’t. You weren’t sure how much longer you could keep this up, but at that moment, you didn’t have the strength to do anything more than stand there, waiting for an answer that might never come. 

You didn’t turn around as you felt his presence behind you, the warmth of his body radiating in the small space between you. You held your breath, waiting for him to say something, to explain, to apologize—anything to break the suffocating silence that had enveloped you both. One of your hands traveled to your temple, trying to massage away the pounding headache that wouldn’t relent, as if easing the physical pain might somehow dull the ache in your heart too. 

The silence dragged on, and you could feel him standing there, just out of reach, but still not saying a word. It was suffocating, the space between you filled with unspoken thoughts, unresolved arguments, and the growing distance that neither of you seemed able to close. 

"I kept waiting. Waiting for you to call back, to walk through the door, to say something—anything." you continued, voice trembling as you let your hand fall from your temple, now gripping the edge of the counter again.

Hongjoong let out a breath behind you, but it was small, almost inaudible. You could sense his guilt, but guilt alone wasn’t enough to bridge the gap. "I didn’t know what to say," he admitted softly, his voice barely above a whisper, and you could hear the weight of his own struggle in it. 

"You didn’t know what to say?" You turned around slowly, finally meeting his eyes. Your own were burning, a mixture of exhaustion, anger, and desperation swirling together. "Do you think that makes it any better? That just... ignoring me was the right thing to do?" 

He looked down, running a hand through his damp hair again. His hesitation was killing you. You needed him to fight for this, to fight for you. 

The silence stretched between you, thick and heavy. Hongjoong's eyes finally met yours, a storm of emotions swirling in their depths. He opened his mouth to speak, but the words seemed to catch in his throat. 

"Are you giving up on us?" The words tumbled out of your mouth, raw and vulnerable. Your eyes searched his face, desperate for any sign that he still cared, that there was still something worth fighting for. 

Hongjoong's eyes snapped up to meet yours, a flicker of pain crossing his features. For a moment, he looked as lost and scared as you felt. The silence stretched between you, heavy with unspoken fears and fading hopes. "I..." he started; his voice barely audible. He swallowed hard, struggling to find the right words. "I want a divorce, Y/N," Hongjoong finally said, his voice cracking slightly as he forced the words out. 

The world seemed to stop spinning for a moment. You felt as if all the air had been sucked out of the room, leaving you gasping. Your eyes widened in disbelief, searching his face for any sign that this was some cruel joke. But all you saw was a mixture of pain, guilt, and resignation in his eyes. 

"What?" you whispered, barely able to form the word. Your hands gripped the counter behind you, needing something solid to hold onto as your world crumbled around you. 

Hongjoong took a deep breath, his shoulders sagging as if the weight of his words was physically pulling him down. 

You felt tears welling up in your eyes, a lump forming in your throat. All those ignored calls, the nights spent alone, the growing distance - it all suddenly made sense in the worst possible way. The realization hit you like a tidal wave, leaving you struggling to stay afloat in the sea of emotions threatening to drown you. 

"A divorce?" The word felt foreign on your tongue, heavy and bitter. You shook your head, tears now flowing freely down your cheeks. "How... how long have you been thinking about this?" Your voice was barely above a whisper, trembling with the weight of your shattered world. 

Hongjoong's eyes flickered with a mix of guilt and sadness as he answered, his voice low and strained. "For a while now... I've been trying to find the right moment, but there never seemed to be one." He paused, running a hand through his hair, a gesture that once seemed endearing but now felt like a painful reminder of what you were losing. 

The words hit you like a physical blow, and suddenly, all the pain and frustration you'd been holding back came rushing to the surface. Your eyes flashed with anger as you stepped towards him. 

"Empty promises," you spat, your voice quivering with emotion. "Is that what our vows meant to you? Because I meant every single word, I said on our wedding day!" Hongjoong flinched at the intensity of your words, but you couldn't stop. The floodgates had opened. "I said I wanted to spend forever with you, Hongjoong. Forever! And I meant it with every fiber of my being. But for you? Were they just pretty words to say in front of our families and friends?" Your voice cracked, tears streaming down your face. "I promised you my life, my love, my everything. And you're throwing it all away like it meant nothing. Was any of it real for you?" 

The silence that followed was deafening, heavy with the weight of broken promises and shattered dreams. 

Hongjoong's shoulders slumped, his eyes cast downward as if he couldn't bear to meet your gaze. The weight of your words hung in the air between you, a tangible reminder of the promises made and now broken. When he finally spoke, his voice was barely above a whisper, filled with a mixture of regret and resignation. "It was real," he said, his voice barely audible. "But sometimes... sometimes love isn't enough." He paused, swallowing hard before continuing. "We've grown apart, Y/N. We're not the same people we were when we made those vows." 

"Don't bullshit me now, Hongjoong! It was two years ago! Two years!" Your voice rose, trembling with a mixture of anger and disbelief. "Why did you even bother to fucking marry me if you were going to give up so easily?" Your words echoed in the small space between you, raw with emotion. Your hands were clenched at your sides, your whole body shaking with the force of your outburst. The tears that had been threatening to fall now streamed freely down your face. You searched Hongjoong's face, desperate for any sign that this was all a mistake, that he didn't really mean what he was saying. But all you saw was a mixture of guilt and resignation in his eyes, and it only fueled your anger and hurt more. 

Hongjoong took a deep breath, his eyes meeting yours with a mix of sadness and determination. "I'm sorry, Y/N. I truly am. I didn't marry you with the intention of giving up. I thought... I thought we could make it work. But we've changed, grown apart. The passion, the connection we once had... it's not there anymore." He paused, running a hand through his hair. "I've tried, we've both tried, but it feels like we're just going through the motions. Don't you feel it too? The distance between us, even when we're in the same room?" His voice softened, a hint of vulnerability seeping through. "I didn't want to hurt you, but I realized that staying in a marriage that's lost its spark would hurt us both more in the long run. You deserve someone who can love you fully, completely. And I... I'm not that person anymore." Hongjoong's eyes glistened with unshed tears as he continued, "I know it's not fair. Two years isn't a long time, but it's been long enough for me to realize that we're not making each other happy anymore. And isn't that what marriage should be about? Happiness, growth, mutual support?" He took a shaky breath. "I'm sorry I couldn't be the person you needed me to be. I'm sorry I couldn't keep the promises I made. But I think... I think we both deserve a chance at real happiness, even if it means not being together." 

You were at a loss for words, the reality of the situation sinking in. Finally, you managed to speak, your voice barely above a whisper, trembling with emotion. "No, I don't feel it too. What I feel is the desperate longing for you when you're not here. I love you, it never changed." You realized, with a crushing finality, that you would never hear him say he loves you again.

Swallowing hard, fighting back a fresh wave of tears, you spoke again, your voice hollow. "I'm going to pack my bags." 

As you turned to leave, you felt a hand grasp your arm gently. Hongjoong's touch, once so familiar and comforting, now sent a jolt of pain through your heart. "Y/N, please..." His voice was barely above a whisper, filled with a mixture of desperation and regret. You froze, your back still to him. For a moment, you allowed yourself to feel the warmth of his hand, to remember all the times that touch had brought you comfort. But the pain of his words, the finality of his decision, was too fresh. 

With a sharp intake of breath, you pulled your arm away, stepping out of his reach. You couldn't bear to look at him, afraid that if you did, you might crumble completely. "Don't," you managed to say, your voice trembling. "Just... don't." Without turning back, you spoke, your voice barely above a whisper but filled with cold finality, "You can tell your lawyer to bring the papers to my parents." 

The words hung in the air, heavy with the weight of your shattered dreams and the future that would never be. You didn't wait for a response, couldn't bear to hear whatever Hongjoong might say. Instead, you walked away, each step feeling like it was taking you further from the life you had once imagined, towards an uncertain and lonely future. 

You packed your bags in a hurry, the silence broken only by the rustling of clothes and the soft thud of items being hastily tossed into your suitcase. Your hands trembled as you gathered the necessities, your mind a whirlwind of emotions. 

As you made your way to the door, you paused, your hand resting on the cool metal of the doorknob. Despite the pain coursing through you, you couldn't help but turn for one last look at the man you loved—still love. Hongjoong sat on the sofa, his head buried in his hands, eyes fixed on the floor. The sight of him, so defeated and lost, sent a fresh wave of anguish through your heart. For a moment, you stood there, memorizing every detail of this final scene, knowing it would be etched in your memory forever. 

With a deep breath, you reached into your pocket and pulled out your keys. The metal felt cold against your skin, a stark reminder of the life you were leaving behind. You walked over to the drawer near the entrance, your steps echoing in the heavy silence. As you placed the keys on the drawer, they made a sharp, metallic cling that seemed to reverberate through the apartment. The sound was jarring in the stillness, causing Hongjoong to snap his head up, his eyes meeting yours for a brief, intense moment. 

That single sound seemed to encapsulate everything - the end of your shared life, the finality of his decision, the irreversible nature of what was happening. It was as if that small noise had shattered the last remnants of the world, you once shared. 

Hongjoong's voice broke through the silence, barely above a whisper, but filled with a mixture of regret and desperation. "Y/N, wait..."He stood up, his eyes pleading. "I... I never meant for it to end like this. Please, don't leave this way—you don't have to go." His words were mumbled out quickly, a desperate need in them that you couldn't quite understand. The sudden shift in his tone caught you off guard, making you pause at the door. You turned slightly, not fully facing him, but enough to show you were listening. 

You felt a mix of emotions wash over you - anger, hurt, confusion. Part of you wanted to turn and run, to escape this painful situation. But another part of you needed answers, needed to understand how things had fallen apart so quickly. With a deep breath, you steadied yourself and turned to face Hongjoong fully. "What do you mean, don't leave this way?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. "You just told me you want a divorce. What other way is there to leave?" 

Hongjoong got up from the sofa and took a few quick steps in your direction. His expression faltered, a mix of guilt and uncertainty crossing his features. He took a hesitant step towards you, his hand reaching out but stopping short of touching you. "I... I don't know," he admitted, his voice barely audible. "I just... I can't bear the thought of you walking out that door, even though I know I'm the one who caused this." His words hung in the air, heavy with contradiction. You felt a surge of anger mixed with confusion, your emotions threatening to spill over. Taking a deep breath, you steadied yourself, your grip tightening on your suitcase handle. 

"Hongjoong," you began, your voice low and controlled, "you can't have it both ways. You can't ask for a divorce and then expect me to stay." You felt your resolve waver slightly at the vulnerability in his voice, but you steeled yourself, knowing you had to stay strong. 

"It's just hard to see you walk away in silence like we're strangers," Hongjoong said, his voice barely above a whisper, filled with a mixture of regret and longing. 

His words hit you like a physical blow, and you felt tears prick at the corners of your eyes. You took a deep, shaky breath before responding. "And it's hard for me to stay and pretend everything's okay when you've just shattered my world," you replied, your voice quivering. "We're not strangers, Hongjoong. We're two people who once vowed forever to each other, and now we're crumbling that promise." The silence that followed was heavy, filled with unspoken words and painful realizations. You both stood there, caught in a moment that felt both eternal and fleeting, the weight of your shared history and uncertain future hanging between you. 

Hongjoong's eyes met yours, a mixture of pain and regret swirling in their depths. You could see the conflict within him, the struggle between what he thought he wanted and the reality of losing you.

Suddenly, without warning, Hongjoong closed the distance between you. His hands cupped your face, and before you could react, his lips crashed against yours. The kiss was desperate, filled with a mixture of passion, regret, and longing. It caught you off guard, your body tensing at first before instinctively melting into the familiar warmth of his embrace. For a moment, the world around you faded away. There was only Hongjoong, the taste of his lips, the feel of his hands on your skin. It was as if all the love, all the memories, all the pain of your relationship was poured into this one, final kiss. 

But as quickly as it began, reality came crashing back. You pulled away, breathless and confused, your mind reeling from the sudden turn of events. Tears welled up in your eyes as you looked at Hongjoong, seeing the same turmoil reflected in his gaze. 

"Why?" you whispered, your voice barely audible, trembling with emotion. "Why now, when you've already decided to let me go?" 

Hongjoong's expression crumbled, he took a shaky breath, his hands falling to his sides as he struggled to find the words. "I... I don't know," he finally admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everything." 

You choked on a sob, the finality of it all settled, and you found yourself struggling to breathe. With trembling hands, you reached for the door handle, your vision blurring with unshed tears. "Goodbye, Hongjoong," you managed to whisper, your voice barely audible and thick with emotion. The words hung in the air, heavy with the weight of everything you had shared and everything you were now losing. 

Without looking back, you stepped through the doorway, the soft click of the door closing behind you echoing in your ears like a death knell. As you made your way down the hallway, each step felt like it was taking you further from the life you had known, from the love you had cherished, and into an uncertain, lonely future. 

♡│if you enjoy my writing please consider supporting me by tagging and reblogging│

│ it has come to my attention that a lot of ageless/blank blogs have started to interact with my fics. while i appreciate your interest in my writing, i want to remind everyone that my blog is for adults only. it only takes a moment to personalize your blog and add your age. please take a moment to do so. this way, it will be easier for everyone and will save me from having to go through all my notifications to block blank/ageless blogs.│

[makethemhoesmad]

liability(pt. 3)

pt 1. pt 2

only a couple months late, but here it is!!

i’m thinking there will be one more part, hopefully coming sooner

thanks to @imaginespazzi, @azzibuckets, @patscorner, and @barbspeaks for dealing with my copious amounts of yap

—

“it’s for the better,” paige says, for the third time. the first two times, she’d whispered it to herself, trying to make herself believe that it was true. now, she said it to nika, who had witnessed azzi’s erratic flight to and from paige’s place, and wanted to know what had happened.

“thats what she said? verbatim?” nika questions. that’s not the azzi she knows. the azzi she knows is the one that would fight, tooth and nail, to keep her and paige together. that, even if they were separated for years, decades, lifetimes, she would be determined to find her way back.

“yes, nika i told you it was crazy. i announce that im staying another year to play with the people i love and.. oh.” paige breathes out the last word, tucking her head into her hands as she realizes something.

“what, paige? why’d you say oh?” nika inquires.

“she thinks i should have left,” paige murmures, standing up. she begins to pace the room, speaking quickly to what seemed to be only herself, forgetting nika was even there.

“she must think that i’m wasting my career by staying here, she must think that it’s her fault and that she’s the one ‘ruining my career’ in her mind. typical azzi. she’s on a spiral right now, she’ll come down, probably. probably.” the last statement seems to bring paige back to reality, and tears start to well up in her eyes. she looks to nika, sniffling and asking, “how am i supposed to make her see that she’s not, and never will be a liability.

~

in another room on the same campus, yet somehow seeming miles away, azzi is alone in her room, curled up under her blanket that still smells like paige, in paige’s hoodie and paige’s sweatpants. she’s giving herself only tonight to grieve for what she killed, and then she’s going to try and move on. that’s what she keeps telling herself, to justify the way she’s sobbed on and off all night. she’s about to start another round when she hears a loud knocking on her door. grudgingly, she sits up and trudges out of her room, opening up the door.

“paige, what are you doing here?” azzi gasps, even though she knows full well why exactly paige has just knocked on her door a mere five hours after their breakup. 

“az, we’re still teammates. we have practice in two hours i don’t want you to ever think that you’re holding me back. i’m doing this because i love you, but also because im doing this for me.” paige says, her eyes glistening. azzi wants to take her back, right there. but she shouldn’t, she can’t. so instead, she says something she’s sure to regret.

“you know, paige, if you had just stayed healthy, this wouldn’t have been a problem.”

paige recoiled at azzi’s words, shocked at the harshness in her voice and the statements she made. in a moment of what she will eventually remember to be nothing but complete stupidity, she fires back.

“damn, i mean, if you hadn’t insisted on continuing to play after you fucked up your knee, you might’ve been able to figure it out instead of hurting it worse.”

“don’t do that, paige.” azzi says, her face going scarlet. “you do this when you get mad, hurt people’s feelings and don’t mean it.”

“i could say the same about you, azzi. we’ve played almost zero games together, and that’s the reason i wanted you here in the first place. it’s almost like i want to play basketball with my girlfriend, you know?” 

“ex girlfriend,” azzi corrects quickly. she slams her teeth together, trying to trap the words back into her throat. why did she need to correct her so quickly?

“so that’s what we’re playing at, then? we’re playing pretend? we’re gonna sit here and we’re gonna act like we haven’t lived in each other’s skins for five years? our families are best friends, azzi. we can’t lose all that because you got insecure”

and azzi doesn’t know how to answer that. she doesn’t have a rebuttal, doesn’t have a defense or a witness. it’s just her, her thoughts, and her now seemingly unexplainable reasoning to break up with paige. right now, really all she wants to do is fall into paige’s arms and cry until she feels better, because paige always makes it better. something tells her that paige might not want to hold her, right now, though. so instead, she takes a deep breath, firmly points towards her door, and demands, “out.”

ironically, if azzi had in fact just thrust herself it paige’s arms, they’d probably be reunited right now. but instead, paige is standing outside azzis apartment door, debating whether to speed home and put on her gym clothes and wait for azzi to leave for practice outside her door, or corner her after practice. corner her, paige thought, speed walking to her car and grinning.