#I was talkimg to quentafeanorians about this actually

[iriysse]

It's after 11pm so have some angst tw: abuse, implied noncon

headcanon.

Aredhel's view of even the simplest of intimacy is warped after Eöl. Perhaps that's the greatest negative that impacted her for so long. Eöl wanted the image of a happy marriage, complete with affection-- and it wasn't even a definition of affection, it was real affection, or the hollow image of it. Cuddling, kissing, holding hands, even embraces but the context was wrong. Scratch the surface a little, and there's a dark undertone. Cuddling after forcing himself on her, where she could not leave his embrace until he had had enough, and would usually end with molestation; kisses that if she dared to dodge would result in pain, or a hand around her throat; holding hands but a bit too tightly and if she pulled away it became worse; embraces that somehow always turned into undesired advances, where the cycle would spin once more. He would strike her, and then kiss where he'd hit, telling her it was her fault for making him lash out. He "loved" her, he'd repeat, "that was why her hurt her, because she was doing something wrong." Apologies happened in the beginning, along with a facade of tenderness. As time passed, there were no apologies, and the 'tenderness' was always a touch too rough. Though sometimes he would make her enjoy herself, which was infinitely worse.

When she escaped, she avoided any physical contact with male elves outside of her family, children, or very trusted friends. A raised hand would make her brace, even if it was just raised to reach for something. A kiss on the cheek, holding hands-- touch of most kinds she avoided. Affection had been polluted. And it took years to fix. However, it's affects annoyed her the most. She hated that his touch, his intimacy was all she knew, and set out to fix it no matter what.