#I was surrounded by people I didn't feel connected to and I felt so lonely

[greppelheks]

I need to find a way to do the things I used to love doing without them draining me. I miss the person I used to be, but I don't miss how bad I felt when I was that person. But only choosing peace and quiet ain't it. I was just out for dinner with two old friends and I got a glimpse of how my life used to be, and I miss it. Deeply.

[impval]

Meet me halfway

Cate Dunlap x Fem!Reader soulmate au

If you believed in destiny– a fate, some written-in-stone plan of the universe– it all had something to do with the way their wrists aligned. The words inscribed there, written with a trembling hand and the heart of a girl who was half a broken mess and half a survivor.

The days in her room were long. So long. Nine years of no one touching her. No one holding her. The silence was so goddamn deafening sometimes that she'd almost be praying for someone to burst through the door for no other reason to end the endless hours of quiet.

You were the only reason she was still sane. The idea of you— the thought of meeting you someday— the belief that anyone out there was meant for her. That no matter what…someone would love her.

Cate spent so long waiting for you— imagining you. Her fantasies went so far, it hurt.

But when Indira came, touched her, saved her from that dark, lonely room…

It was enough to keep her going… for a while, at least. Indira's words weren't quite as cruel or cold-hearted as her parents. At the very least, her savior had never looked at her like something she ought to fear. And God, how Cate craved that closeness. That human connection. She had grown up, practically starved for it.

And even if it wasn't you, Indira had a gift with words, and she had a way of convincing Cate that things could change. Things could get better.

And you were still nowhere to be found.

Cate was so, so lonely, even when she was surrounded by the noise and laughter of college life. The parties, the alcohol, the boys— it was all so numbing. Her mind was full, yet all of her thoughts were consumed by you. Wondering where the hell you were. It drove her insane— drove her to keep taking the pills that Indira said would make everything better.

She would still do anything for validation.

She would still change every part of herself, just so long as someone would tell her I love you, once.

Cate spent her nights at parties, drinking until the room was spinning and everything was blurry and fun and light, because she didn't care. She just wanted to feel numb, pretend like she didn't feel hollow and empty inside. And every time she woke up in a stranger's bed she wondered if today would be the day when you walked into her life.

But each morning she rose alone, her lips tingling with regret and memories from the night before.

Every party was an opportunity to find you, to touch as many people as possible. To find the one person who didn't run. Who wasn't afraid. To feel your heartbeat under her fingertips, feel the blood pumping through your veins.

Only it never worked. You were never there, and Cate's hope was fading.

For some people, finding their soulmates is as easy as saying two words. It just happens. One look—one touch—and it's like a missing puzzle piece slotting into place. The world just… clicks.

Cate will never know that. She's accepted that much. But still, every time she saw Luke and Andre, her heart stung just a little. That could've been her.

There were times when Cate felt like you didn't exist. That whatever words were written on her wrist were a cruel, sadistic joke. That in a world of superheroes and powers, she was the one who'd been dealt a shitty hand.

When she'd been isolated for nearly a decade, the odds of finding you were just about zero. But for all of that despair, for all of those hopeless fantasies, she never lost hope. Because after spending so much time by herself she had grown up, and one thing she'd learned early on was the fact that monsters were made, not born.

That itch. That pull, that need that was constantly gnawing at her like an infected wound, festering. And it wasn't like the pills Shetty gave her had completely removed the feeling. They just… took off the edge. They made Cate feel a little more normal, like herself— but the thought, that feeling that there was something missing, still sat on her shoulders.

Compared to Cate, you had a relatively conventional childhood, but of course, you had your own issues to deal with. Of course, you were also fucked up in your own way, you had powers after all.

The idea that there was someone destined to be yours, a companion and partner in this chaotic world, filled you with a sense of security. A warm buzz settled in the pit of your stomach—the knowledge that you weren't ever going to be alone, that there was someone out there who was yours, and yours alone.

Despite not being a frequent partier, you had reluctantly agreed to attend this particular event. Perhaps it was the promise of a good time with your friends, or maybe a secret wish to meet your soulmate.

You had definitely heard the rumors—the whispers and muttered conversations, the gossip that drifted around whenever Cate's name was mentioned. Her reputation preceded her, and it was why you never saw her skin, never without her signature gloves.

You were already on your second beer when you noticed Cate with a guy, Rufus.

"C'mon babe, c'mon…" Rufus murmurs, his hand tightening around her arm. He'd had a few too many himself and he was already growing impatient.

Rufus was not a good person, though he was attractive, and his reputation was infamous enough, that most students overlooked it.

Cate, though? She didn't care who he was or what he did. At heart, she was more drunk on the attention—the feel of his hands on her body—than anything else. A party girl with one too many substances, her smile just a touch too loose.

Rufus was a lot of things. A jerk. A creep. Self-entitled, arrogant, and a walking talking red-flag. His hand, large and heavy, roved beneath her top and settled on her hip. If they were alone, he'd push it further.

But Cate had too much to drink—she knew better than to be hanging around the likes of him, but the liquor was singing in her system and the world was suddenly so much more colorful.

Normally, you were the type to help anyone in need, no questions asked. But there was something more personal to it this time, an anger that flared up within you at the sight of him touching her.

You set down your drink, the glass clinking against the counter. You approached the pair, silently acknowledging that Rufus was taller and physically stronger than you. But you also knew that your powers made such factors irrelevant.

Rufus's hand jerked back quickly at your approach. He wasn't stupid, this guy, but it sure came damn close sometimes. Cate's head lolled onto his shoulder as she stumbled, and she sent you a slightly unfocused, half-lidded look.

"Fuck off, will you?" You order in a firm tone. A subtle glow lights your eyes, the barest hint of force behind the words.

He was a coward at heart, preferring to take advantage of those more defenseless than him, like Cate was at that moment. He scowls but does as he's told. He shoulders past a few people and melts into the crowd.

Cate stumbled and fell into you.It was almost comedic, the way she had to brace one hand against your shoulder to keep herself upright.

"Are you okay?" Stupid question, but still.

When she pulled back, her blue eyes sought yours out. Her head was spinning from the alcohol, and her fingers clutched at your sleeve like she was terrified you'd vanish like a dream.

For a long moment, Cate is speechless. A thousand words seem to lodge themselves in her throat as she pulls back just enough to look you in the eye, the alcohol in her system suddenly gone.

Those words. The words she's heard in her head countless times, her whole life— the first words her soulmates is supposed to say to her— said aloud to her.

God, even that little bit of skin contact is like an overdose. It's not like the brush of her fingers against yours, or a hand on your arm.

Cate's breath hitched, her fingers curling into your clothes. Her heart's thundering in her chest and she nuzzles further into you, practically purring.

"i don't feel so good," she mumbles against your neck, repeating those words. Your words.

Neither of you moved. Neither of you could. It was like the whole noisy world around them suddenly faded away. All you could see, all you could hear, was her.

Taking care of her that night, guiding her to bed and nursing her through her hangover the next morning, solidified a sense of protectiveness over her for you. It was undeniable; Cate was your soulmate, despite her reputation, and your feelings for her surpassed any reservations you might have once had. Those gloves of hers, concealing her skin and creating a barrier between you two, now irritated you.

The following morning, Cate appeared withdrawn, her eyes wide and filled with disbelief. It was as if she feared you were some mere figment of her imagination that would fade away at any moment.

You made it a habit to walk her to class, accompanying her like a devoted puppy. You initiated small touches, a brush of the hand here, a caress there, gradually allowing her to grow accustomed to your presence. Although she didn't open up much about her past with her powers, it was evident that the ability to control minds wasn't an easy burden to bear even here at Godolkin.

Cate's heart yearned for you for so many years, but now that you finally meet, a mix of excitement and fear welled up inside her. She was afraid of unintentionally harming you, of accidentally using her powers.

Your patience seemed endless as you allowed her time to adapt and grow comfortable. You were already deeply in love with her, knowing full well that your feelings would endure until your very breath. That's what being soulmates meant, right?

Lying together on the bed, your fingers gently tangling in her hair...

As time went on, she initiated contact more often, leaning into your touch. In public, she wouldn't hesitate to place her hand possessively on your waist or rest her head on your lap, claiming you as hers. In private, behind closed doors, when you lay wrapped in each other's arms, sound asleep, she clung to you, seeking even more of your skin against hers. You and Cate were inseparable, the embodiment of a couple who couldn't keep their hands off each other. Dates that extended into sleepover after sleepover became the norm, and Cate even used her powers to convince the clerk to assign you a room together.

She trusted you enough to no longer wear gloves in your presence and in public, you would occasionally take them off yourself, placing gentle kisses on her knuckles. Everywhere you went, it was like Cate was glued to your side, craving your attention. And you give that to her. You traced her face with your fingers, whispering sweet nothings and soft words.

I love you. Those words— coming out of your mouth— they never fail to make her blood sing in her veins. She traces her touch along the shell of your ear, the curve of your jaw, following your neck as it flares into your shoulder. In this life and in next.

[darkbluekies]

Hey blue!! I’m new and absolutely love your writing! I love doctor kry!!! But I was wondering if I could request some doctor kry fluff ? I just feel awful right now.. I may have Covid and I’m wheezing and coughing. I’d really appreciate it. But of course if you’re busy there’s no fuss! Ty! Sending virtual hugs!!🤗🤗

Hurting

Doctor!yandere OC x Reader

Summary: You're finally allowed in the patients lounge, until a boy attacks you. Doctor Kry realizes how quickly you can be taken from him and decides to do something he's never dared to before.

Warnings: blood, beating, yandere, isolation, kissing, suggestive themes, hints of killing

Word count: 1.9k

"Doctor?"

"Yes, Y/N?"

"Can we do something today? I don't want to sit in here all day again."

Dr Kry moves over to your bed slowly. "What would you like to do then?"

"It's so lonely sitting in here", you sigh. "Could we go to the lounge? Please? I want to be surrounded by people again."

"Y/N you're fragile, you know that. You shouldn't breathe their air."

"But … I've been to other parts of the hospital and I was fine. I was even outside with you, remember?"

"Yes, and do you remember how weak you felt?"

You pout slightly. Another try that failed. Dr Kry tips his head, smiling slightly.

"Okay, what about this", he says. "You wear a little oxygen mask and then I'll take you to the patient's lounge?"

"You'd do that?" you ask excitedly.

"If it makes you happy."

"Yes, yes, it really will!"

Dr Kry smiles, nodding and says he will be back soon. You sit in your bed with a smile on your face until he returns. He has a machine with him and a plastic mask connected to it.

"You'll have to wear this over your face", he says. "The oxygen in the tank is pure for you. I've measured the toxic levels. It's safe."

"Will they laugh at me?" you ask carefully. "The other patients?"

"What? Of course not! They're wearing casts and bandages of all weird types, they won't even bat an eye."

"Do you promise?"

"Of course. If you want, you can hold onto me when we enter, if it feels scary."

"Yes, please."

Dr Kry tries to hide the smile creeping up on his face. You catch it and smile with him.

Dr Kry leads you through the white hospital corridors with his arm around your shoulders. His firm, protective grip is reserved for you.

You enter the patients lounge and see people of all ages, ethnicities and genders sitting here and there. Some are discussing, some are playing games. And some are hiding for themselves in the corner.

"Alright …", Dr Kry mutters. "What would you like to do?"

You look around, eyes catching the Playstation consolws in front of a protected TV-screen.

"I want to play some games", you whisper. "Can I?"

"Let's go see what games they have."

You're not surprised that there are no shooting games. There are animal simulators, puzzle games and Lego star wars. Dr Kry nods, approving the little selection there is. You pick up a goat simulator.

"I'll be by the wall with the other doctors", Dr Kry whispers in your ear, rubbing your shoulder slightly.

Otherwise they'll be suspicious of his close relationship to you. He has to blend in with them.

"Okay", you say softly, meeting his blue eyes.

He thinks he's going to faint. Your eyes look so sparkly. He fixes your oxygen mask and gives you a small smile before walking over to the wall.

"It's not often we see your patient out and about", a doctor snickers.

Dr Kry doesn't look at him. He leans his back against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest.

"They're sick", Dr Kry answers dryly. "Why would I let them out among bacteria?"

"You're still careful, I see", the other doctor smiles. "What exactly is wrong with them?"

Dr Kry flinches at that word. He turns his cold blue eyes to the doctor.

"Nothing is wrong with them", he corrects him coldly. "They're just sick. Other than that they're perfectly normal."

"I didn't mean it like that, Kry. I was just wondering since they're always in their room. No ones allowed to meet them."

"I don't want them to become worse. Everything in that room is sterilized and pure, exactly what my patient needs. If I allowed people to walk in and out as they pleased, it'd be contaminated and they'd be worse."

The doctor nods. "I understand. You're a very dedicated man, Kry, I'm impressed. I've heard that you stay in the doctors dorms with the patient room telephone by your ear."

"I do have a life to care for. They're still sick even when my working hours are over. I have to be available in case something happens."

The doctor is about to answer when your voice cuts through the air. A loud, heartbreaking scream. Dr Kry snaps his head in your direction. Everything seems to go in slow motion. A boy has approached you and ripped the oxygen mask off of you. He's over you with the console in his hands. Dr Kry grows cold and runs forward. He reaches the boy and rips him off you, throwing him wherever he can. He silently hopes that he cracked his skull open on the drawing table. The doctor who he had talked to shoots forward to retrieve what seems to be his patient.

Dr Kry’s attention shifts to you. You're lying on the floor, trembling with tears in your eyes. Your lip is burst. He can tell that the Playstation controller has a bit of blood on it. In one quick motion, he scoops you up in his arms. You lock your legs around his waist, your arms around his neck, and hide your face into his broad shoulder. Dr Kry secures one of his strong arms around your waist and grabs a hold of the machine with the other.

"What the actual fuck is wrong with your patient?" Dr Kry spits angrily, angrier than he's ever been before. "They're not just sick, they're actually wrong! How dare he attack my patient like that?!"

"He didn't mean to-", the doctor tries.

"I don't believe that. Get your uncontrollable beast far away from my patients or I'll show that little bastard a thing or two."

Dr Kry doesn't wait for an answer. He walks out with you and the machina tightly clutched in his hands. You sob into his shoulder. The sound of it makes Dr Krys heart ache. Your body is trembling in his hold. He wants to check up on you, but you're not safe yet. You have to get back to your room first.

"Are you okay, little one?" he asks as he hurries through the corridors. "Try not to breathe so much filthy air, breathe down into my neck. Good job, just like that. You're doing so good. You'll be okay soon. I'll take care of you right when we get to the room."

He swings the door open to the hospital room and places you down on the nearest surface — the desk. He backs away enough to see your face.

"Poor thing, your lip is bleeding", he cooes and touches your bottom lip with his fingers ever so gently.

He turns to the drawers to get you some cotton balls, swiftly placing his fingers to his lips. He's not one that usually likes the taste of blood, but he finds himself enjoying the metallic taste of yours. He flinches, stopping. Did he just really do that?

Dr Kry gravs the cotton ball and a bit of disinfection substance and dabs it on your soft lips. You hiss and try to pull back.

"Y/N, stop, I have to clean it", he says apologetically. "I know it hurts, but I have to make sure it doesn't get infected. Be good for me now and I'll give you something fun later, okay? I have some gifts in preparation."

You nod unnoticeably. His heart absolutely shatters at the sight of your tears. He's so close to dropping the professional act and swooping you up in his arms — where nothing can ever hurt you again.

"There we go, your lip is clean", he says and takes your hands in his. "Are you hurt anywhere else? What did he do to you?"

"He wanted the game console and I said no … so he got mad. He demanded it again and I refused … so he ripped the mask off of me and tried to grab it. I refused to let it go so he ripped it from me and threw me down on the floor and hit me."

Dr Kry clenches his jaw. His grip on your hands tightens significantly. You whimper, begging him to let go of you. As if awoken from a trance, he apologizes and lets go.

"I'm not really hurt", you reassure him quietly. "I got more startled than hurt. I'm sorry if I scared you."

"You're bleeding. You're hurt. He hurt you. He won't get away with it."

You touch his shoulder carefully. He shivers.

"Your uniform …", you say in shame. "I got it bloody, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Y/N, I don't mind", he smiles and wipes your tears with his hands. "It's washable."

He fights the strong urge to hug you. Every nerve in his body fights bravely, but they're not strong enough. He wraps his arms around you to bring you into his embrace. The placement of you both makes him blush. You, sitting on his desk with him standing between your legs … it's all so dangerously close to what he wants. It's teasing him. He can't give in. Not more than this.

"I'm so glad you're okay", he whispers in your ear and tightens his embrace. "I got so scared. Are you sure that you're not hurt?"

"The only thing that hurts is my lip."

A sudden wave of confidence washes over him. He pulls back, glances at the cleaned wound.

"I can make it go away", he whispers in a husky voice he didn't know he could achieve. He glances at your eyes carefully. "May I?"

You give that nod again. He has half a second to contemplate before his lips will meet yours. One part of the brain tells him to stop, that this isn't professional. The other screams at him to hurry up, he's been waiting long enough. He gulps and finally, finally, allows his lips to meet yours. All air in his lungs disappears, but that doesn't matter, he doesn't need it. He wants to breathe you, day and night. You're softer than he could ever imagine. A small taste of blood fills his mouth. He has to kill that boy.

You place your hand on his clean shoulder and answer his kisses. It's the only signal he needs to hold you closer, bring you into him. He wonders — wishes — that you can feel how hard his heart is beating, so you can finally understand how much he has longed for you.

He understands that he has to pull back, whether he likes it or not, to not go further.

"You're so unbelievably pretty, do you know that?" he whispers.

"Do you really think that?" you ask just as quietly.

"With all my heart."

You avoid eye contact for a few seconds before glancing back carefully.

"This won't change a thing, I promise", Dr Kry whispers with a small smile. "I'll still be your doctor. You can count on me, okay?"

You nod.

"Good", he smiles. "I think you should rest now. This has been very straining for you."

"Can you hold me?"

Dr Kry nods. He lifts you over to the bed and lies down beside you, holding you in his arms. You shut your eyes and slowly drift off to sleep. Dr Kry can feel an ounce of regret in him, but a big part of pride. He finally dared … he hopes you won't be uncomfortable with him now.

When he's sure that you're sleeping, he leaves the bed and tucks you in. He takes a good look at you, his beautiful patient.

"As long as I'm here, nothing will hurt you", he whispers. "I'll get rid of everyone who causes you harm. I'll be back soon, that boy needs to be taught manners."

[miss0atae]

Random Thoughts about The On1y One (EP 6) : Attachment, No regrets and live life to the fullest.

I knew they would feel at odds after the episode 5. Of course, Wang was hurt by Tian’s decision to live in the school accommodation. He was just starting to feel close to him and suddenly he discovered that Tian may leave. So, like any people who have already felt the harsh truth of being left alone, he tried to distance himself from Tian. It was a way for him to protect his heart, but Tian wasn’t fooled by his acts. He knew early on that Wang wasn’t acting like before. Relationships can be tough, especially if you have a lingering fear that the people you care about the most will leave you. Wang already lost his mother at a young age and his father is never really around him. He already know what it is to see people you love leaving him. So, before getting to attached to Tian, he prefers to treat him as a stranger: being polite, stop sharing his feelings and trying to give back anything gave to him so there would be no debt between them. I was afraid this drift between them would be last the entire episode, but thankfully Tian is really good at reading Wang’s mood and understanding him. He felt something was wrong and he reacted strongly against it. We’re so used to see him being calm and reserved that when he rejected Wang’s action of distancing himself from him, it was really shocking. He raised his voice and everyone (Wang and us) knew instantly he would not accept it.

Tian may be the one who is more reserved, but he is also the one who is more ready to say what he feels. I feel like Wang could have said to Tian about how hurt he was about his decision to leave the house because it made him think Tian didn't want to be around him… but he didn't because he is not used to do it. Both of them are lonely souls who found a connection, but they both deal differently with attachment. I feel like Wang tends to overthink things and doesn't take the time to talk it out with other, while Tian feels wary and find it hard to be close to others. However, I feel like Tian found in Wang a kindred soul and he got attached to him faster than it could be expected. They found in each other something they were looking for. There are dialogues in this story, but the real communication is usually non-verbal between them. It about how close they physically are to one another (it's not a coincidence that they are next to each other in the class), or the small gestures (Tian giving food and drinks to Wang) and mostly it's about how they look at each other. There is non verbal intentionally communication, but you can also read so much from their non-verbal unintentionally communication. For example, Tian is always looking at the door and expecting Wang. This door is shown to emphasize the short separation they experienced. When they are again talking to each other, they both comes in the room of the other.

This episode was also giving so many realizations to Wang. From him understanding that he doesn't have to plan his whole life because otherwise he wouldn't fully enjoy his youth, to him accepting not all efforts are in vain. It's really his luck that he is now surrounded by many people who want good things for him (Tian, his teachers, his best friend, Mr. Ding…). When you're in a competitive school and having such high goals, it can be easy to get lost. Life is not just studying to be at the top and aiming at the best rewards. It can be scary because you can feel like planning everything will make it easier, but when you stick to the plan, you may miss something else. I guess that's why I don't mind that the story is set in a school. It's not just about making the main characters be students. As a student they are supposed to learn. However, they are not just learning about school subject, but also about what they want to be. They are growing emotionally and they are also learning about one another. There are so many ways of learning. It is fitting the story.

I’m now truly attached to this story and these characters so I can’t wait to see what is going to happen to them.

[hexedwinchester]

Sam was a lonely kid

Before you go there, yes he had Dean but Sam still felt lonely. Feeling lonely can be psychological and one can feel lonely in crowd too. Haven't we all? Forget crowd, we can feel lonely even in the company of friends and family. This state of feeling lonely arises from a disconnect between you and your surroundings.

Sam felt lonely despite having Dean around because Dean was emotional unavailable. No, I do not blame him because Dean himself was a child and understandably incapable of providing that emotional security.

Sam's always been inquisitive. I imagine all those times he had questions about Mary, about John's hunting and for a long time he didn't get those answers. Not from Dean and definitely not from John.

Now, imagine a slightly older, more mature Sam who has built a persona of himself. He knows what he wants. It's not hunting. He has interests outside of hunting. Maybe it's math or maybe it's literature. But I'm pretty neither John nor Dean ever took interest in what Sam liked. They probably laughed at him when he must have expressed his desire to go to the college.

We all connect with people who, if not share, at least support and care about our interests, our likes, our dislikes. That's how we make friends and other relationships. There is a level of acceptance. It didn't happen with Sam.

Sam always felt like an outsider. Every school he went he felt different. He must have felt like an outsider too among his family. When you feel like an outcast, it doesn't take long for loneliness to seep in.

So, it is very normal for Sam to have felt lonely EVEN WITH DEAN AROUND!

Having someone around physically DOES NOT KEEP LONELINESS AWAY!!!

What inspired this post was the scene between Sam and a school professor (Back to School Special episode) where Sam thanks him for taking an interest in Sam because no one else had!

[biblicalhorror]

Okayyyyy yeah also let's talk about Tammy. I didn't know how I felt about her for awhile because she did very much feel like the Disposable Black Girlfriend, but I'm seeing people saying she's an "abuser" or God forbid "just as bad as Kevin" and that's just. Not at all true.

Yes, Tammy is controlling. She doesn't seem to really like Patty for who she is, and kind of seems to want to change her into someone else instead. HOWEVER, I think we need to look at the whole character to understand WHY she's like that. I don't think she's controlling Patty for personal gain or for the sake of manipulating her. I think she's lonely and desperate for companionship, which leads to her ignoring/pushing past the obvious incompatibility in her relationship with Patty.

Here's what we know about Tammy:

1. She seems to be the only black person in the Worcester social circle. She also mentions frequently how she's surrounded entirely by white men at work.

2. She is also the only openly lgbt person in the area, other than Patty, who is still not exactly out and proud.

3. She describes her entire job as "making excuses for" and "cleaning up after" the men at her job, particularly her partner (whose name I am unfortunately forgetting, does anyone remember?), who even had her plant evidence for him on at least one occasion.

4. Despite being very competent and good at her job, the white men around her keep failing upwards (she mentions a few times that people beneath her keep getting promoted) while she remains stagnant in her career. There doesn't seem to be any explanation for this other than the fact that she is a black lesbian in an extremely white, conservative community.

Basically, Tammy seems like someone who has been taught (like many black women) that she will have to work much harder than everyone else to get ahead in any capacity. She is also likely very, very lonely. She doesn't seem to have any friends outside of work, which isn't surprising given the above. It seems like she doesn't exactly have a ton of prospects, dating-wise, other than Patty. In my opinion, it's really no wonder that she clung to Patty so desperately and immediately and tried to forcibly mold her into someone who could be compatible. She's tough, smart, organized, direct, manipulative, no-nonsense and controlling because, well, she had to be. And she ends up trying to "rein in" Patty because, in her mind, what's the other option? She ends up alone, surrounded by men who force her to cover for their antics and don't care if she lives or dies.

I'm not saying her behavior is healthy. But it comes from an entirely different place than Kevin's abuse, or Chuck's, or even Neil's. And it's also not uncommon. In real life, I know many queer women (specifically small-town lesbians) who end up in relationship dynamics just like that over and over again because they start dating someone who doesn't quite fit, and they compensate for it by trying to force a connection instead of accepting loneliness and isolation. I have a lot of sympathy for Tammy. And I wish the show had taken more care to establish the abuse she faced from her coworkers off-camera.

[violetelderberry]

Sims 4: Wonderful Faults Legacy Challenge

General Rules and Requirements:

- There are no pack or mod requirements for this challenge, but you are welcome to use mods to make the gameplay more realistic. - Minimal money cheats allowed; you can use cheats to pay for your first starter home, but otherwise they should be avoided. - Set lifespan to normal; I usually play most of my games on long lifespan, but it could get excessive with the number of generations, so the normal lifespan is a recommendation more than anything. - And lastly, follow all generation requirements, but otherwise decide your own stories or paths for the character for things left unspecified. This challenge was designed to give inspiration while also giving the player certain creative freedoms aside from the main storyline. Have fun with it!

Generation One: The Lonely Author

Your sim has always been a lonely person who was dedicated to their work; they aren't in contact with their parents, and they overwork themselves from the lack of financial help. They struggle to pay for everything on their own, and when they eventually meet their soulmate, they are skeptical to actually engage with them because of their previously lonely life.

Generation Requirements:

- Must start off generation as an independently living teenager - Must have the creative and gloomy traits - Must write at least ten books in your lifespan - Must complete either a romantic or a creative aspiration in young adulthood - Must meet your soulmate but not immediately enter a relationship with them. Must be friends for an extended period of time first. - Must have at least two kids

Generation Two: The Sickly BusinessSim

Your parents tried their hardest at raising you, but they were extremely strict and had a few faults in their relationship, causing you to be an anxious child. You had a few creative talents of your own but decided that you didn't want to pursue a creative career after learning of your parents' struggle, and you eventually settled on going into business.

Generation Requirements:

- Must have the clumsy and erratic traits - Must max the business career - Must max guitar, logic, and charisma skills - Must adopt at least one child - Must have at least two failed relationships and never get married

Generation Three: The Exaggerative Lover

You were never really taught much about non-familial relationships in your childhood, so as you got older, you decided to surround yourself with people. You would frequently go out to parties and always make time with your friends, even if there was something that should've prevented you from doing so. You also continued this behavior into your romantic relationships, longing for connection with other people to the point where it got in the way of other aspects of your life.

Generation Requirements:

- Must have the romantic and outgoing traits - Must never decline a social gathering or phone call - Must get fired from at least one job due to skipping work to hang out with friends - Must max the charisma skill - Must have at least five long-term friends - Must never go more than a week without a partner after getting their first romantic partner

Generation Four: The Athletic Scholar

You always felt content within the social scene because your parents' openness, and because of this, you had a lot of friends to play basketball with when you were younger. You found a passion for fitness at a young age and never let your academics slip. You balanced your social, academic, and work life very gracefully, but as you really settled into the life of business, you couldn't help but feel like you wanted something more personal and passionate for your career as well.

Generation Requirements:

- Must have the active and genius traits - Must be an A student in middle and high school - Must get to level three of the business career before switching over into the athletic career - Must at least get to level five of the athletic career - Must max the fitness skill - Must get married as a young adult and never divorce - Must have a group of life-long friends

Generation Five: The Shy Chef

Your parents' openness and excitement always made you a little bit nervous, but you were thankful for the way they would always help you grow. You started cooking at a young age to find a positive outlet for your emotions, and you absolutely fell in love with it, deciding upon graduation that you wanted to turn your love for culinary skill into a full-blown career, your parents still supporting you every step of the way.

Generation Requirements:

- Must live with your parents until you decide which branch of the culinary career you want to pursue - Must have the loner trait - Must max the culinary career - Must max cooking and mixology skills - Must complete the Master Chef aspiration - Must not have any non-romantic close friends - Must not become interested in flirting until young adulthood

Generation Six: The Snobby Agent

You were always a fan of mischief as a child, pranking and tricking people at every chance you got. Your parents were never very strict, causing you to go unpunished for your behavior. As a young adult, you decided to go into the secret agent career field, the aspect of not being able to tell anyone giving you a thrill, but you weren't aware of the less enthusiastic secrets that would be brought on because of your life path.

Generation Requirements:

- Must have the mean and snob traits - Must max the secret agent career - Must max mischief, logic, and athletic skills - Must have at least five enemies and one best friend - Must have a child with a married sim - Must have a negative relationship with at least one family member

Generation Seven: The Gloomy Comedian

You went non-contact with both of your parents as soon as you entered young adulthood, causing you to be pretty financially unstable early on in your life. You were a very unhappy person during your younger years, so you decided to enter the entertainer career to make other people, and hopefully yourself, smile.

Generation Requirements:

- Must have the gloomy and goofball traits - Must enter the comedian branch of the entertainer career - Must max the charisma and comedy skills - Must live with a roommate for your entire young adult life - Must not speak to parents (after young adulthood) until you are an adult with your own children - Must marry your best friend and complete the soulmate aspiration

Generation Eight: The Gluttonous Painter

You always allowed yourself to over-enjoy life's pleasantries. You started off life in a very poor position, but your parents earning more money as you grew older caused you to indulge more in the things that you once had an absence of. You are completely content with your life and the cheerfulness that it allows you, but sometimes your indulgence allows other sims to grow frustrated with you.

Generation Requirements:

- Must have the glutton, cheerful, and art lover traits - Must reach at least level seven of the painter career - Must have a failed relationship because of the constant need for more - Must take frequent trips to the bar after or before work - Must max the comedy and painting skills and get to level five of three more skills of your choice - Must get married to a sim in the culinary career - Must have the max number of sims in a household by the end of the generation (via children and/or animals)

Generation Nine: The Bored House-Spouse

You were raised to believe that you always deserved everything that you wanted, but as you got older, you realized that you never really knew what you wanted in the first place. Your parents were both very creative, career-oriented people who had so much going on in their lives, but you ended up being a stay-at-home parent with a rich spouse. Although you were thankful that you didn't have to do much, you found yourself not wanting to do anything around the house at all, finding much more entertainment with sneaking out while your spouse was at work and going to hang out with people you knew you shouldn't be around.

Generation Requirements:

- Must have the lazy and kleptomaniac traits - Must marry a rich sim (can use cheats to give spouse a good career and house) with the jealous trait - Must have a low (but not negative) relationship with all children - Must befriend a sim in the criminal career - Must never have an official job - Must have a temporarily negative relationship with spouse once they realize that you're never home - Must make up with spouse only after arguing brings your platonic bar into the red

Generation Ten: The Loyal Gamer

You never had a close relationship with your parents. One was always at work, and the other was always running off somewhere else instead of interacting with you, but you know what you did have? A computer. You got into gaming at a really early age, and it wasn't long before you got into programming as well and realized that you could make some money off of it. However, you had another revelation later on in life after you fell in love for the first time: you didn't only want to be motivated by money and excitement like your parents, you wanted to be a good parent and partner while still maintaining your financial and career life.

Generation Requirements:

- Must have the geek, materialistic, and family-oriented traits - Must complete a parenting aspiration - Must only be with one sim for your entire life - Must hack for money as a teenager at least twice - Must max the gaming and programming skills and get the cooking skill to at least level four - Must not have a high relationship with either parent - Must be good friends with all children and pets (if you have that expansion) - Must have both biological and adoptive children - Must either join the eSports section of the Tech Guru career, or the streamer career if you have the High School Years expansion pack - All children must be at least B students in middle or high school by the end of the generation and have their own unique trait combinations and personalities

[circeyoru]

have you listened to the song "Partner in Crime" by Madilyn Mei? If not, I strongly recommend it because it makes me think of Unwanted Souls!Alastor. Specifically early days of when the reader tries to push him away

This is for {Unwanted Soul} , check MASTERLIST for the work

The one I listened to is Partners in Crime by Set it Off. But I gave this a listen and omg the lyrics are quite in sync with the story!!

Let me go on a song tangant. Stay if you wanna read.

**Heavy spoiler if you haven't caught up with this series!!!!!

You're right; this matches well in the beginning when Reader/you are trying to push Alastor away so you can go back to your little world of self-indulgence. But what happened afterwards is Alastor staying and showing you care and devotion you never had.

Now, if you keep up with everything I posted about {Unwanted Soul}, you'll know that I never planned for this oneshot to end up as a series with this much background and connections for you. So, in Part 1, it was entirely matched with the request and that long to avoid a continuation. But then you saw the results, hahahahaha~

Anyways. Part 1 never mentioned anything of a dilemma of you pushing Alastor away yet wanting him near you, the later parts did. If you piece back everything, you'll see what I mean with this song.

When you're gone I feel alone again The voices cannot hold my hand They keep me company at very best Distract me from my loneliness

Here, this is a reference to when you had that breakdown when Alastor was more than late for that grocery shopping. You hoped it work, but when it did, you just feel so lonely. Everywhere you see in the apartment, especially the living room since that's where Alastor always was. So you retreated into your room, where he barely had permission to enter. With low self-esteem and self-harming thoughts, you conjured a knife and just stabbed yourself to distract yourself from the mental pain.

Maybe I'm just an anomaly Even my demons have their families Truly something must be wrong with me To need you as much as I do

Naturally, this is a reference to your living years. You felt alienated in your life and among the people that surrounds you. Yes, you're stable and successful to the point that you don't have to worry about getting hungry or not having a house to return to. But you felt so empty with what you're doing. You wanted companionship that you can lean on. Then Alastor comes along and you tell yourself it's too good to be true and pushed him away to protect yourself from a heartache.

I was never meant to win I was never meant to win I was never meant to win Shut up!

Sidetracking, this is referring to you quitting your job as an informant for Lucifer. It's some time after you mastered the two powers you had but never used. You think it's too powerful and you're not worthy of it, so you hide it away. Then it went to thinking you're not fit to work for Lucifer, the King of Hell. Worse when you come to see him as a friend instead of your employer and superior being. It was easy to put a stop to it since Lucifer wasn't as persistent with keeping you by his side than Alastor. (haha this explained why I never put Lucifer as a love interest or show competition between him and Alastor)

Here's the reigns Take ahold of me Please don't let me go You do the talking Sew up my mouth if I can't keep it closed

This is where you basically accepted that Alastor was a yandere for you and let it progress. You know how it is with this type of character. You were just too damaged and desperate for something you longed for that you didn't care anymore. It was a good thing that Alastor saw how damaged you are by that self-harm you inflicted on yourself, better now than later when you were more firm with your feelings for him.

There's a dog barking right around the block And a big ol' whistle blow Run for it I'll keep em occupied for you Cause I love you, I love you so Left me hangin at the station But you'll be back for me soon

I'll switch the narrative here. This matches more for Alastor. This talks about the time when you sent him to the hotel to work (and leave you alone). A little interest that shouldn't be explored for or for you to personally be involved with. So Alastor does his best to keep the hotel matters at the hotel, never needing you to leave your home to investigate anything. Alastor knows you moved him out because you were caring too much and you're trying to stop it. He doesn't care, he wants you. But he'll be patient and give you time, he knows you'll be back for him. And boy was the wait worth it when he saw you fight for him.

Something tells me you aren't coming Guess that I'm truly doomed

When Alastor was nearly brought down by Adam and realized that his power wasn't enough (since it was limited by you). That moment, he was fully prepared to just teleport back to your apartment and stay there.

I'm 'bout to die Yet the only thing I find I'm worried about is you I'm 'bout to die Yet the thing on my mind seems to nearly be nothing but you

This is when, moments before your slumber, you told Alastor that you missed him and removed the rule that blocks his connection with you. You know you're not dying, maybe, but there was that slim chance. You also know that wouldn't be what Alastor thinks, and in a way, you reassure him.

I'm just a pawn in your game Not your partner in crime

You used to think that Alastor was using you for something. In fact, you looked for evidence to prove your theory. But the battles he started for you, the demons he killed for you, and the words that made up deovtion and promise to you, it all pointed against that. Isn't it all so weird?

You're slowly killing me And yet I don't mind (You were never meant to win) You're slowly killing me But please take your time

This is where you accepted that you're not gonna be able to push away Alastor anymore. So you take a back seat and let it happen. You were never meant to win against Alastor's love for you, you were never meant to push him out of your life. What Alastor's killing is the doubts and reason you have to push him away, it takes time to heal and for Alsator to find out about your past. So... You want him to take his time.

"Hey, Alastor." You smiled as you waved your hand at him to beckon him over.

"Yes, My Love?" Alastor skipped over, throwing away a demon's limb behind him comically which earned him a burst of carefree laughter from you.

In a swoft move, you pulled him to your level and gave him a butterfly kiss on the lips then stared into his eyes, "I love you, so dearly. Never leave me."

Alastor felt himself melting from your words and the plead he saw as his order to keep you forever. What ever were you thinking to suddenly say this? He won't question since you ended up demanding his attention and presence. So he smiled and nodded, "Of course. I'll never dream of leaving you. I love you too much for that to ever happen, My Beloved."

[joka13]

FANFICTION (REQUEST): Weasley Twins x Reader (Hufflepuff Girl) - Lovesick - Part 4/5

WARNINGS: none

You dreamt something magical.

You found yourself casually wondering about downstairs in the Hufflepuff common room. This particular room had always given you a warm, happy feeling, though not today. Today, the weather was grey and rainy outside, and the coldness of it seeped through the walls of Hogwarts. There was nothing to light your surroundings but a faint, clouded glow coming from above. Even the plants hanging from the balcony that circled the center of the room appeared to wilt depressingly.

Cold, dark, and sad. All of these things reflected the feeling that you held in your heart.

You were lonely. For all of your life, the things that brought you joy always drove others away from you. You were torn between two options: having friends or being yourself. You could only have one.

At some point, you realized that true friends would love you for who you are. You promised the world that from then on you would always be no one but yourself... You kept your promise, but naturally remained alone in doing so.

You couldn't stand it anymore. You stopped in the middle of the common room and fell to your hands and knees, weeping. You usually would've let this sort of emotion out while in the confinement of your dormitory so as to not to disturb other students, but you knew you wouldn't be bothering anyone because there was no one to bother. You knew that you were completely, utterly, and now even literally alone.

The echoes of your sobs rang loud, but no one would come running to comfort you. The tears rolling down your cheeks felt heavy, but no one would offer a handkerchief to dry them. Instead, you continued to cry and cry, watching your tears fall and become absorbed into the decorative rug you knelt on.

Then the large fireplace about ten feet in front of you that had been cold and flameless was suddenly bursting with green light.

Your cries were cut short by a gasp. You watched in awe as two identical boys with red hair and handsome smiles stepped out of the green fire. Despite the fire then quickly burning out, the room was no longer cold and dark, and the sorrow that had overwhelmed you only seconds ago seemed to haven't existed at all.

At the same time, the twins cocked their heads to the right, wearing worried expressions as they noticed the peculiar state you were in. They came forward and each held out a hand. You sniffed, chuckling weakly as you took their hands and the boys helped you to your feet.

"Are you alright?" the slightly taller twin asked as the other lifted his hand to wipe a tear from your cheek.

You weren't alone anymore. "I... I am now," you replied.

About every forty minutes, you would cough up petals, and there was a constant, aching pain in your chest. You'd heard of the Hanahaki disease before but never imagined that you'd ever suffer through it yourself. In the morning, you had gone to Madame Pomfrey for a treatment to ease your sudden illness, but the nurse wouldn't help. At least not yet. She promised to give you a cure if you weren't able to cure yourself the "natural" way. And so, you were tasked with admitting your feelings to... Fred and George Weasley.

Ever since your first day attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, you'd greatly admired the Weasley twins. They were fantastic jokesters, knowing more than anyone how to have fun. You had viewed them more as celebrities and less as boyfriend opportunities. They were too good for you, and that was that.

But that brief moment with the twins in Filch's office gave you hope. You felt an instant connection with Fred and George (and that's saying something because you didn't often connect well with other people). This was also no ordinary connection. It was one of love. It all seemed too fast to call it love, but the fact that you had the Hanahaki disease was proof that it was full, real love.

Now, fear was the only thing keeping you from telling the twins of your love for them. You feared that your love wouldn't be returned, though not because it would do nothing to hinder the progress of the spreading roots within your body. You knew that Madame Pomfrey had something that could heal you physically, but emotionally? You weren't confident that there was such a remedy for heartbreak.

You sighed wearily as you made your way to the Great Hall for breakfast. You knew you would hate yourself if you didn't confess. If you didn't try, you'd never know if there'd been a possible chance at friendship... or even love. Rejection was the worst that could happen, and you were quite used to that already (at least from any long-term, friendly social interaction you'd ever attempted in the past). You decided then and there that you were going to go for it.

TAG LIST: @tomhockstetter7-111 @jasm-1ne @costheticbabe @luthien-elvenia-asher @megablonde22 @thecuteavocado @weasleylady92 @websfromallthespiders @rubyintheforest @weasleylover4eva @georgeweasleyslostearhq @im-coolrat @them-cute-boys @xmadigurlx @keirasinbin

[perinfernum]

"Artist", Sleep Token fanfiction (iii x vessel)

What happens when III fails at the one thing he promised himself to finally do? And how does that connect to a new barista in town, Vessel?

TW. suicide, trauma, self harm, eating disorders There will be NSFW content.

FIrst chapter under the cut, on AO3 or Wattpad.

III looked in the mirror and smiled sadly. Blood was dripping down his arm, no piece of clear skin visible. He was tired. Exhausted. He had enough. Therapy wasn't working, and his parents kept on abusing them, emotionally. He lived away from home, which made him safe from physical anger. But it didn't mean that he was safe. His parents couldn't come to terms with the fact, that they no longer had a daughter, they had a son. And it didn't matter that III had all papers cleared, and was already on the testosterone. But it was because he was lonely, had no friends, and was manipulated by doctors, who only wanted money.

He was finally starting to live like he always wanted. Dyed hair, tattoos, piercings. But his parents were mad about that, and III couldn't convince himself to break the contact. His parents knew what they were doing. Always playing with his emotions, making III look like it was all his fault for breaking away from what was considered normal in a strict, catholic family.

And today was the day. The day, III finally had enough, and couldn't bare to live another day. His pets were away at the pet hotel, his long distance friend listed as an emergency contact, so III knew that they would be safe and well taken care of. A short letter was left for his friend. He felt guilty for running away from his problems, but he didn't have more strength to keep fighting.

With a calm mind, he put on a jacket, took away his favorite necklace, and hang it on the mirror. Closing the door behind him, he went outside.

He decided to enjoy the last moments, and took a longer way towards the train bridge. There it would look like an unfortunate accident. He passed by his work, a small recording studio, where he was helping small bands start their career and to remind them to keep having fun while working, as well as a bookstore, where he always went whenever he needed a distraction. Then he noticed that the usually abandoned place, was now well lit, a bright sign spelling "Music & Coffee" hung above the entrance.

After being hesitant for a second, he shrugged. Why not, after all, he had nothing left to loose. III decided to go inside.

He was greeted by an enormous amount of shelves filled with vinyl records, as well as normal CDs. He spotted also a few cassettes, which made him smile. Amongst the records and plants, there were tables, surrounded by dark green chairs and sofas. The whole place felt warm and calm, quiet rock music playing in the background. Behind the counter stood a tall male, around his age. His dark blonde hair was reaching his shoulders, messily half tied up into a bun. He was busy brewing a coffee, and III couldn't help but feel mesmerized by the confident, yet calm moves, as he did some magic in front of the coffee machine.

III thought that he was staring too much, and his thoughts where confirmed, when the barista lifted his gaze and smiled widely at him. His blue eyes were piercing through III's soul, and he felt his cheeks get red.

"Hi, how can I help you?" the other man asked, still smiling. He wiped his hands, and motioned to III to come over. III couldn't help but stare at the figure in front of him. He had broad shoulders, his black shirt perfectly hugging every muscle.

Vessel stood behind the counter, looking at the skinny red haired male. He felt his mouth start to cramp from keeping the wide smile, but the customer still didn't move. They were just staring at each other. Vessel took the chance to look at the companion in front of him. Without a doubt, the male was one of the hottest people Vessel ever saw. And damn, what would he do to take him out on a date.

He had hair dyed vibrant red, about the same length as himself. His face was decorated with multiple piercings. From what Vessel could see, he had three lip piercings, septum and an eyebrow piercing.

Finally the other male moved. He approached Vessel slowly and greeted him.

"Hi" Vessel heard and he was smitten. His voice was like a music to his ears, and he wanted the boy in front of him to never stop talking. But he didn't want to seem like a horny teenager, so instead he smiled once again.

"What would you like to drink?" he asked, and by the confused look on the other's face, he could tell that the other male had no idea.

"Why don't you sit down and I will make you something?" he suggested, motioning towards one of the tables. The red haired boy nodded and smiled politely with a quiet "Thanks". Vessel couldn't help but notice, that there was something very off with him.

III didn't really know why he agreed to stay. Perhaps it was the barista, but he convinced himself that it couldn't be. Nothing would mess up his plan. Not today.

Instead of sitting down, he opted to wandering around the place, and he noticed vinyls of a few bands that he helped record.

The barista came over to the table he was standing next to, setting down a tall mug, filled with coffee.

"I recorded them" III said before he could think, pointing towards one of the records.

The barista smiled.

"That's awesome, I really like their music" he said, and to that III only nodded.

"If you need anything, I'm gonna be over there" barista motioned towards the counter, and started walking back, stopping a few steps away from III.

"Oh, and by the way, my name's Vessel, I'm new to town. Nice to meet you...?"

"Ari. But most people call me III" he said to Vessel.

"Ari" Vessel smiled "Suits you"

And with that he went back to his work. III sat down, and allowed himself to get lost in the warm vibe of the shop, focusing himself on the music.

When he finally snapped back to the reality, a plate with a simple sandwich was laying in front of him, and Vessel was wiping down the tables. He looked outside and jumped out of his chair swearing loudly. Vessel looked over to him with a question in his gaze, but III ignored him.

He ran out of the shop, tears falling down his face, as he directed himself towards the train station.

Vessel watched in shock as the male sprinted out, knocking over the chair in the process. The rest of his coffee fell down, glass shattering and liquid spilling. He frowned, feeling somewhat hurt by Ari's actions, but the red haired boy was too far gone to notice.

[humanitys-strongest-bamf]

His Last Hope | Canonverse Oneshot

✧ word count ➼ 1.6k ✧ notes ➼ canonverse, implied relationship, injured reader, protective!levi

Levi walked through the line-up of dead bodies with a blank look on his face. He originally only saw Eldo's body, but eventually found the rest of his squad's as well. They really had been wiped out. Despite him picking his squad members from the best of the best, they still lost overwhelmingly to the Female Titan.

A frown gradually grew on his face as he reached the end of the line-up. As he was walking through, he felt his heart rate steadily increasing as he continuously searched for the one person he had been looking for ever since this mission took a turn towards complete and utter failure. Although not seeing you in the dead body line-up was a relief, every second of not knowing only contributed to the panic that he was beginning to feel.

“Are those all the bodies?” he asked calmly as he heard a scout approach him from behind.

The scout was holding a clipboard and cross referencing names of bodies they found versus the scouts’ verbal reports on who they saw die.

“We’re almost done. There were about five dead that we couldn’t recover,” the scout finally said as he finished counting off his list. “Do you think we should go back for them?”

Levi felt himself tense at that answer. He could not put himself at ease. He desperately wanted to say yes, and to launch another expedition into that forest to find everyone’s corpses so he could be certain as to what happened.

“No,” he said decisively. “If you confirmed they’re dead, that’s enough.”

He paused for a second before forcing the next few words out of his mouth.

“Whether you have the body, dead is dead.”

He was saying that in an attempt to get rid of the intense discomfort he had been feeling throughout the past few hours.

I feel like I’m having a heart attack or as if I just inhaled a shitton of dust and can’t breathe properly. It feels fucking horrible.

You were the last attachment that he had left in his life. It wasn't because others weren't available for him to bond with. It was because he didn't want to. From the very beginning, the minute he got attached to someone meant he was bound to lose them. This was true with everyone he had ever met, except for you. It was like getting close to him was a curse that doomed someone the minute it happened. It just wasn’t worth the effort for him to open himself up to someone if they were bound to leave. 

He had accepted that he was bound to be alone upon the loss of his mother and father figure as a child. He accepted that into adulthood as he wandered the Underground, performing odd jobs for people he couldn’t be bothered to remember. He accepted that as a part of his life, until he didn’t. He took a gamble, took a risk, and allowed himself to believe that he finally found a set of people that he wasn’t doomed to lose. He had finally begun to let himself get attached and believe in hope, until he didn’t.

He remembered his despair upon seeing their corpses. He had made one small mistake that he would regret up until this very day. He had left them alone, unable to protect them, and by the time he realized the gravity of his error, they were gone. He remembered being the lone survivor surrounded by the corpses of his comrades. He remembered the despair that coursed through his body on that one fateful day, before he vowed to no longer subject other people to the curse that was becoming close with Levi Ackermann.

He remembered his resolve to follow that vow immediately shattering once he saw that there had been one other survivor: you. He remembered relief soaring through his chest as he watched you shift from what seemed like a corpse back into a living, breathing person. It made him feel like he was going to throw up and disintegrate into dust. He hated it. He never wanted to feel that again. 

On that day, he had vowed that this one final connection would be the only one he would allow himself to have and that he would never subject himself to feeling that ever again. With every fiber of his being, he poured his soul into protecting that one final attachment in his life. Every comrade that he lost to the Titans piled onto the grief that he adamantly began shoving in a corner of his mind. Now that he was so unsure of your fate, he felt that part of his mind looming over him, and he wasn't sure how much he'd be able to stand.

“Captain Levi?” asked the scout, noticing that Levi had gone quiet.

“I said what I said. It won’t change anything regardless of what we do, other than piling more bodies onto this pile of corpses,” he said without an ounce of empathy in his voice. “Do you at least have the names of the five we weren’t able to gather?”

He listened closely as the scout read off the names of five new recruits that had fallen in combat. He took particular notice that you were not included in that category. He felt that sense of relief itching at the back of his mind, but he was hesitant to let it settle in. Just because you weren't on that list did not mean that you were alive.

“Any wounded survivors?”

He immediately looked in the direction that the scout pointed to and found a few wagons that were lined up with the wounded. He slowly walked over, carefully glancing into each one, feeling his heart rate increasing with every wagon he walked past.

He slowly came to a stop once he finally saw you.

You were fucked up, that was for sure. He could tell that your body was barely holding itself together and that the lineup of cushions and spare cloaks around you was in a desperate attempt to keep your body aligned as a makeshift human-sized splint. He saw that there were bandages wrapped all over your lower torso that were already soaked through with blood.

He felt that panic that had been building up start to dissipate, but it wasn't necessarily relief that settled in. He didn't feel better or more at ease or less miserable. He still felt that sense of not being able to breathe, like danger was still lurking around the corner. The longer he looked at you, the more intense that feeling became.

Slowly, a dark look entered his face as he fixated his gaze upon you.

“Captain?” the scout behind him asked once he noticed that Levi had stopped walking entirely.

However, Levi had either failed to process their voice or just chose to ignore it entirely.

“God damn it,” he whispered to himself under his breath. “The one time I leave you on your own, you decide to nearly die on me, _____.”

~~~~~

You felt an annoying rumbling sensation that refused to go away. No matter how uncomfortable you were, you found that you were not able to toss and turn to adjust your sleeping position. You had a horrible headache and backache. People were talking all around you and you frowned, wondering who would be so inconsiderate to be talking at top volume in your vicinity when you were clearly sleeping.

“The rear line has sighted Titans!” someone shouted.

It was becoming clearer to you that there were multiple people around you and that you were not in bed, although their voices were very muffled.

“I don’t see any tall trees or buildings,” a familiar voice said. “Fighting out here will be difficult. We’re better off outrunning them until we reach the walls.”

Reach the walls? Where am I?

Slowly, you peeled your eyes open, squinting at the sun that was shining from the horizon. You looked up and saw Levi sitting above you, talking towards someone that was riding on a horse next to your wagon. He had a makeshift splint on his left leg.

Seeing his injury quickly reminded you of where you were. You were in the middle of an expedition to catch a traitor in their ranks, and had fallen when engaging an abnormal Titan. You were not at home. You were not in bed. You were being carried on a wagon for wounded soldiers and Levi was sitting protectively above you.

You immediately tried to sit up so you can better grasp the situation, but immediately stopped as you felt an intense pain in your lower left torso.

Before you could even think about pushing through the pain to sit, you heard Levi sigh as he looked down at you.

“Lay back down,” he said sternly. “You’re too injured to fight.”

You groaned in pain, but continued to get up.

“I-I’ll be fine, Levi.”

"Tch," Levi immediately gently pushed you back down, knowing that you were too weak to fully resist.

"I said lay back down," he repeated as he scowled at you.

You sighed in defeat, looking directly into his eyes. They had a dark look about them and his eyebrows were slightly furrowed together as he looked down at you.

Without saying a single word, you knew that he was pissed—and likely, at you.

You had failed to save his squad. Your plan to draw out the imposter had failed. You had failed to lead the squad to victory like you were expected to. If anything, this further proved what you saw as Levi's belief in your incompetence on the battlefield.

A/N: i should probably starting ordering these because they're all from that slow-burn fic i mentioned, i just suck at posting them in order

[subsystems]

10.2.23

Disclaimer: This is my own musings about plurality. I talk about my personal experience with unification (final fusion) too. Don't read if that upsets you for some reason.

Something I haven't really talked about is my relationship with the idea of plurality. I saw someone talking about how they feel simultaneously plural and not plural, and I find that really relatable.

I used to despise being called plural. It brought me so much shame. Made me feel like this one single symptom of my disability was being cherrypicked and pinned onto me as a label. I felt like my vast and varied experience with DID was minimized for something much more palatable and "fun" to others. It was almost like the full DID was being pushed aside. Like being told "yes, you should continue to hide that and you should continue to be ashamed of it."

I also felt like plurality still applied to me, though. Yes, the blanket definition of plurality does fit me. I am a person who has multiple parts, a plurality of perspectives, I am "more than one." That fits...but that's not all?

I think another thing is that, when I got diagnosed, I didn't even feel plural even though I knew the term technically fit me. I hardly ever felt a presence of parts even though they were there. We hardly talked, hardly wanted to acknowledge each other, even though the evidence was there. For me, it was like being forcibly dragged in and out of existence. Someone else would replace me but I wouldn't know that, wouldn't remember. So, what do you mean that there are systems who never feel lonely or out of control because they're always co-conscious, voluntarily switching, and chatting inside? What do you mean that's even possible? Was I the only one living my own life in slivers and pieces? Was I the only one experiencing the unbearable loneliness that is my DID?

Yeah, I am "more than one" but...

It was complicated. There's probably old posts on my blog where I talk about how I'm not plural even though I have DID. And probably other posts where I'm calling myself plural as if my teeth are clenched. Like it's painful but necessary.

Sometimes I revisit those old feelings, but for the most part I feel at peace with the concept of plurality now. As a young trauma survivor, it was hard to separate the concept itself from the online culture surrounding it. But, ultimately, the way other people experience their plurality doesn't invalidate me. The concept itself doesn't minimize or shame me. It's just a word for an experience, in the same way that dissociation and flashbacks are words for experiences. The way these things are treated and talked about are ripe for criticism, not the experiences themselves. It's nice to have words for them.

And there's no universal way of "being more than one" because it ranges on a spectrum of experiences. Much in the same way dissociation can be mild or extreme, be it brought on by trauma, mental disorders, religious practices, drugs, or other things. Who fucking cares.

But when I think about it...when did I start actually feeling plural despite always fitting the concept? Out of anything, I think unification (final fusion) was actually what helped me finally feel my own plurality. Isn't that interesting?

Unification was when we finally felt each other. I feel the entire multitude because I am it. We're all together, all at once, at all moments. We're constantly in communication. There's no blocks, no separations, no barriers. I'm all of us and we're all of me: a big bundle of parts, connected together like a constellation.

That feels more like plurality than anything I ever felt before.

[hmshermitcraft]

killer rabbit hybrid!reader x polyhernits:

the reader is new to Hermitcraft and more than excited to be in a world with so many other hybrids. one that was so safe and understanding and full of so much creativity.

on everyone’s first day, they’re bouncing around, speaking to absolutely everyone! they get their first few tools with Zed, Tango and Beef, the go caving with Grian, Impulse, Xisuma and Pearl, villager pillaging with Gem, Doc and Xb, go to the nether with Wels, Jevin, Cleo and Joe and a is always in conversation with someone.

when they’re deciding on where to put their starter base though, they get stuck. they knew the hermits were in a relationship and they knew they all had their little groups but now they felt quite outcast. they sat at spawn for a few days, drawing up and scraping every base idea they came up with. more and more hermits were making their bases, setting up their groups for the season and now they’re really feeling the whole “third-wheel to a massive polycule” thing.

then, impulse took a seat beside them, leaning over slightly to try and see their blue prints to a base.

“so… what ya doing?”

reader is obviously startled and instinctively hissed, showing off their bright red eyes and sharpened buck teeth.

“ah! sorry, sorry!” impulse put his hands up defensively, tail straightening.

reader relaxes and apologises, then explains that they don’t know where to set up and how they don’t want to encroach on the couples.

“uh… you’re kinda gonna be surrounded by couples wherever you go, ya know?” impulse teased, “why don’t i go around with you and we can see if anyone wants another neighbour?”

the reader agrees and the two of them go around and it turns out… everyone is happy to have a new neighbours. the issue now was that there were too many choices, and some hermits had been extremely excited about the prospect of neighbouring with the Fresh Meat.

that night the reader, overwhelmed and lonely, begins to burrow into the dirt side of a mountain at spawn, burrowing deeper and creating tunnels. then they realised… they could create a whole connecting system pf burrows to all the hermits’ bases!

they start just poking their head out at random intervals. on a few occasions it causes issues, like accidentally knocking into someone as they suddenly appear from the ground or accidentally interrupting moments between couples but overall it’s incredibly useful, so much so that other hermits begin using them as well.

as the other hermits use their burrows, they learn more and more about the reader. as the season goes on, they become more sure of themself and finds a rhythm with the other hermits.

no one really realises when it happens but they just fit in. they join people on mundane tasks like collecting sand, or help them to create tunnels, or start joining a few hermits on dates and one day the hermits just start kissing them (not that they didn’t ask the reader, the reader fully agreed but no one ever put a label on it.)

eventually it is discussed but everything just continues as is. the reader fits, the reader is meant to be there.

____

uhh i basically just wrote fanfiction here … i am sorry.

The hermits didn't really see themselves using the tunnels until, suddenly, they were. Reader's network had become a hub of activity! People would decorate the tunnel near their base (and even build a burrow to match for Reader), shops have popped up in bigger caverns and it's not uncommon to bump into a fellow hermit whilst going through.

The nether might be faster for those far-away bases, but they just lack something the tunnels have. And it isn't just the nice, cool temperature versus the heat of the nether. Plus, using the tunnels makes Reader happy. It shows that they have a place here, they've contributed and made their mark. The hermits like seeing them happy.

Of course, Reader's true master plan is to use the tunnels for a huge game of hide and seek so they can hunt down their partners! All in good fun, but they should be wary of red eyes in the darkness...

[bastardsblood]

I beg for stalker Damien and Celeste...

I'm very sorry to my followers for being dead the past month or so! As an apology, I wrote roughly 3k words for Damieste! I really hope you will enjoy it. ^^

Character(s): Damien, Celeste Scenario: Stalker Damien Content Warnings: Implied Teacher/Student relationship, Stalking, Emotional Manipulation

Celeste was coming to realise that there was a difference between being alone and lonely. 

While being surrounded by her peers, it was the latter. Sure, they could greet each other with a smile and have a small chitchat, but that would merely make the wall between them grow. They were from two different worlds, and neither could begin to understand the other. It was simply natural. 

 The former was something she hadn't felt in a while. Rather, it was something she didn't have the privilege to be. Whether she was aware of it or not, each one of her words was being watched, and each one of her actions was being inspected with gleeful curiosity. Maybe it brought her comfort at first—a sense of companionship. The handsome nurse also looked like someone from the world opposite of her, and yet he took an intense interest in her. It made her feel special. 

Even now, with her standing outside of her shabby apartment's door with a grocery bag filled with food she didn't buy, she felt undeniably special. 

But to be special to a person like that was akin to selling your soul to the devil. 

She gingerly took hold of the grocery bag and took it inside her home. It was a small thing, picking up the groceries and sorting them on the table—and yet, her pulse quickened and the familiar feeling of something is wrong returned. She knew he knew her address, even if her high school hadn't properly managed to update her personal information yet. Maybe she mentioned the address to him in a conversation she didn't remember. He did have a way of making her talk, after all. 

Perhaps he was concerned. She wasn't picking up her phone, and she didn't show up at his place for dinner, either. A part of her brain was still ringing alarm bells at the fact that she was close to actually accepting his offers, while the louder part naively reminded her of all the things he had done for her so far. She didn't think he was a bad person, but more so a person who was awkward with his affection. Of course, he didn't give off that impression at first, but she remembered his own words that proclaimed he rarely ever connected with other people. With the way his eyes held hers during their conversations, she could be arrogant enough to think that she had become someone important. 

Still, she noted with a slight shudder, the uncomfortable feeling stayed. Her new apartment was small, and although it was still work in progress, it was beginning to feel cosy. All of her expenses were being depleted to make her new living spaces feel homey, and only now did she feel a spike of terror after realising she hadn't put much money into securing her place. The lock was old and the orangish traces of rust were visible, but Celeste was satisfied with it as long as it did its job. Now, though… 

She glanced at the door. There were no strange noises or suspicious footsteps outside. She nervously laughed at that—just why was she so tense? Nothing happened. Damien merely… went shopping in her stead and left the food by her door. That was the sole fact of this situation. She shouldn't turn it into anything dark or creepy.  

Maybe the stress is getting to me, she thought to herself; that has to be it.

Damien secured her a few of her favourite buns and even left her with a packed lunch that didn't seem to be grocery-bought. When she opened the lid, the smell immediately made her confirm it was cooked by Damien. The seasoning he used was just about unforgettable for her. 

 Although she had no appetite, a part of her felt like she needed to eat the food sitting in front of her. A quiet pressure that made her feel like she'd be disappointing Damien if she didn't eat what he had so lovingly prepared for her. Though such pressure was natural, she concluded; she doubted anyone would enjoy going out of their way for someone who didn't value it. After taking a bite of the cooked rabbit, she knew she wanted to avoid Damien ever thinking she wasn't thankful for everything he did for her. 

She ate one spoonful of rice after another, until the repetitive motions calmed her stomach into wanting to consume everything on the lukewarm plate. Her thoughts were slowly calming down too; there seemed to be nothing weird about this dish either. The vegetables were elegantly cut, and so was the delicate meat, as if Damien wanted to baby her to the point she didn't even have to deal with the effort of cutting up the rabbit. It was rather strange, being cared for so much by an adult she wasn't related to. The first time he cooked a meal for her, she was needlessly paranoid over his reasoning and suspected some foul play. Kindness from adults rarely came for free. 

Maybe it was her own fault for doubting Damien even now. He proved over and over again that he was different from other adults, and yet she still pushed him away. Any thought of wanting to fully trust him would follow with an even stronger sense of distrust, her gut feeling telling her to stay away. Damien mentioned he also dealt with therapy before, so… Although she found it a bit silly, maybe it was about time she tried it for herself. The last time she went to therapy was back when her mother was fed up with her constant crying, and the sessions ended up in even more tears falling down her face. Those memories still bring her embarrassment. 

But if she wanted to return Damien's efforts, she'd have to put in work as well. She was fine with disappointing herself and her mother—both of them were used to it by now—but Damien was someone she could still prove to that she was better than she actually was. A canvas that wasn't fully coloured yet, a small space for hope and change. Well, she was just fooling herself into thinking she could become any better. In reality, she'd just be continuing to fish for his approval. 

But would that be really that bad? She wanted her mother's approval too, but she never once looked her way, too obsessed with chasing down men to date and spend time with. Damien cared for her and quietly treasured even the small efforts she put into their, frankly strange, friendship. 

That thought made her exhale a laugh. Sure, he could see it as friendship, but it's not like Celeste is blind—being around someone that handsome was a recipe for a disastrous crush. She was already getting flustered over him waving at her in the school hallways and even examining her cuts. It was pathetic, really.

Her paranoia was merely created from her fear of getting attached. Since he was so kind to someone like her, there was bound to be something up with him—at least, that's what her brain thought. It was a silly idea that dug too deep into her brain and definitely made her forget that she mentioned her new address to him. Her brain merely thought it to be more convenient to demonise him in any way it could. 

That was it. That was all it was. 

 Once she convinced herself of that, the rest of her evening went smoothly. She watched the TV while audibly complaining about the obviously scripted events happening in a reality show, showered, and changed into her pajamas. It was only when she pulled down her curtains and triple checked the door that she realised with a wince that her unwashed dishes were still rotting in the sink. 

Well, whatever. She lied to herself that she'd wake up earlier than usual and wash them before school. Sounded like a plan, yeah. 

—

She did indeed wake up earlier than usual. 

 It was not because her alarm set to 6:20 AM had set off, nor was it because of the toddler next door vying for the attention of her parents, but rather because of noises happening in her own kitchen. 

 It was most likely her mom dropping by for a visit. She doesn't know why she'd do that, but maybe she had realised that abandoning her child the second she reached eighteen was a tad too cruel. Her first realisation was that it sounded like she was washing her dishes. The second realisation was that her mother didn't know where she lived, nor did she have spare keys to her place. 

 That made her freeze in place. Was it the landlord? The previous owner? A burglar? No, the last option wouldn't make sense. Why would a burglar be washing her dishes? Or was it—

 She gulped. The unsaid option lingered in her mind and a part of her desired answers. It was the morning, anyway. Seeing as her alarm hadn't gone off yet, it was earlier than 6:20 AM. Still, some people were already awake—from the top of her head, the neighbour next door—so if anything happened, she could yell. Maybe a weapon would be good, too? She glanced over her room in panic, cursing the amounts of soft and delicate things until her eyes laid on a pair of scissors. Okay, sure, that could… Work.

She quietly got up from her bed and slipped the scissors into her hand. She put her fist around them to somewhat hide the blade and slowly approached the door. It wasn't just her imagination; she despaired. There really was someone behind this door. She noted with slight panic that the water had stopped, too.

 Her heart reached an uncomfortable rhythm. She was nervous, but she tried to open the door as casually as she could manage. Her door announced her presence with a squeak, and she came face to face with a friendly man she knew well. 

 Her stomach sank, but a smile rose to her lips. 

"Good morning," he casually greeted her, his eyes flitting back to carefully polishing the dishes, "did you sleep well?" 

"Oh, um, as well as I could manage, I suppose…"

He chuckled. "Well, it hasn't been long since you moved here. It will certainly take some time to adjust." 

 Although his back was facing her, she could see his fond smile in the reflection of the glass he was currently wiping with a cloth. It was a disarming one, charming as always, which made her insides squirm with danger even more. After an awkward pause, she muttered, "I suppose so," and silently stood by her bedroom's door. Noticing Damien's curious look, her uneasy smile quickly resurfaced, and she approached the shaky table in the middle of the room. It had chairs for two, and soon Damien seated himself across her with a paper bag in hand. 

The rays of sunshine were already peeking through her window and softly touching Damien's features. It made them look even softer than usual, and Celeste found herself averting her eyes after realising that she was staring. When she gathered enough courage to look at Damien again, she noticed that he was looking at what she was clutching in her hands. 

"Scissors?" He hummed, looking at the dull double blade. "Celeste, there are surely better alternatives. Would you show me your cuts? They may be infected." His hand slowly snaked itself around hers, and she had no strength or reason to fight against his touch as the scissors were confiscated from her hold. His actions and words momentarily stunned her, but then she rushed to clear up the misunderstanding. 

"A-ah, no need for that," she waved her hand dismissively, "there are no cuts." Although it was unnecessary, she felt compelled to give Damien proof of her honesty. She rolled up her sleeves and showed him her scarred wrists, though with no hints of fresh cuts. The casual way she displayed what she hid from other people made her want to kick herself for potentially disturbing Damien, but he merely smiled in satisfaction as he scanned over all her scars. 

Celeste was happy he wasn't judgemental, but the way he looked in adoration at her scars unnerved her. She scrambled to find a new topic. "So," she gave him a weak smile, "what's in that paper bag?" 

Damien noticed the sudden change of topic, but other than giving her a mysterious smile, he didn't point it out. The paper bag crinkled as his hand searched through its contents to fish out a small, packed lunchbox. "As I was preparing things for today," he said as he put more items on the table, "I figured it'd be a sweet gesture to prepare some breakfast for you. I do worry about your infrequent eating habits, no matter how much you try to convince me not to."

The fact that everything Damien had made her for breakfast was right up her alley made her pleasantly surprised, if not slightly impressed. Damien seemed to have a knack for getting her just the things she liked, and she nervously smiled. "Thank you," she said as she put the lid back on the lunchbox she just opened. "It's a… I mean, I appreciate it; I'm just currently not very hungry." 

That didn't deter Damien whatsoever, if anything, he looked rather amused. As he wiped his glasses with a cloth he fished out from his breast pocket, he responded. "That's fine, of course," he smiled kindly at her, "you can just eat it in the car on our way to school." 

That made her pause. "Sorry, what?" 

"It takes you around forty-two minutes to get to school on foot, right? Considering how early your classes start, you must wake up accordingly or risk being late." Damien calmly explained, placing his glasses back on his face and fixing his stare on Celeste. "Wouldn't it be easier for me to give you a ride to school every morning?" 

Celeste produced a short laugh, but the feeling of fear that nestled in her gut resurfaced. The casual way Damien spoke of this disturbed her. Even though she knew the walk took a while, she never timed it and played it by ear. And the more she thought about what could happen to her if she stepped into his car, the less she was able to voice her refusal. Damien seemed to sense her hesitation and softly sighed. 

"Are you uncomfortable with that idea, Celeste?" He gave her a small smile that appeared pitiful around the edges. His eyes trailed her contemplative stare at the scissors laying by his right hand on the table, only to crinkle in delight when her gaze met his again. He took her hand in his. "If I'm being too forward, then please forgive me. I am simply worried about you—I remember you telling me that you never had anyone to rely on, so I was arrogant enough to think…" 

Was this truly all this was about? Him caring about her? Celeste pursed her lips. She didn't know what to think, but she so badly wanted to trust him. He wouldn't—he wouldn't do anything to her in the car, that's a fact. Even if some of his behaviour disturbed her, maybe she was the strange one for feeling that way. It's not like she ever had anyone properly show her what it's like to be spoilt or cared for, so if her rejecting Damien would result in even him giving up on her—

It just wasn't worth it. 

She told him her address, gave him the spare keys, and told him how long it took her to go to school. The fact that she didn't remember that happening doesn't matter; it was still the final conclusion. Damien went out of his way for her due to being a good person, and she was merely a delusional schoolgirl whose life led her to distrust anyone whose kindness exceeded the performative sort. She decided to trust someone for the first time in her life, Damien.

She changed her hand's position to be able to squeeze the one on top of hers. "It's not arrogant; don't worry." She weakly smiled at him, but let the smile fall the second her eyes averted to the side. "You're kind to me and care about me. You want to help me, right?" 

Celeste didn't know whether she was convincing him or herself of that, but Damien seemed satisfied with her words. He checked the time on his wristwatch and then gave her a look that tickled her stomach. "There's nothing else I'd want more," he took in the redness of her cheeks with a strange delight and thinned his eyes, "You're a very special person to me." 

—

Ah, she thought to herself as she entered the backseat of his car—was this a mistake after all? 

His eyes flicked upwards to see her reflection in the rearview mirror. And, despite the dryness in her mouth and the feeling of her sweaty hand clutching the handle of the car, she mimicked his adoring look with surprising conviction. 

When Damien started up the car, they didn't pass through any streets she didn't already know, nor did she see any people she wasn't already familiar with. It was a painfully normal, pleasant ride to school. 

Still, she laughed, it feels like I have made one anyway. 

—

Maybe it wouldn't be today; maybe it wouldn't be tomorrow.

But, the definite fact remained:

The pathetic rabbit drowning in affection would be devoured one day. 

It could only wait with bated breath and meek words, 

Until its love for its owner prevailed over the scorching pain of the cutting knife.

[vechter]

9. 10. 20. and 21. for the ask game? 👀

hi anon

9. alr done but i'll do another: bringing jason back into the fold and getting him all buddy-buddy with the other bats in n52. i like him when he's a lone operator, friendless, haunted by his own death, forever failed by his father and failing him back. he is not calling dick 'Big Bird' or looking out after tim and damian. cass is also not asking him to 'come home'. jason's tragedy is he died. jason's tragedy is he came back.

10. think i did this one too but fanon has soooo many bad takes i will happily give you another: all the bats around/living in wayne manor or the cave. dick, luckily, is somewhat spared from this by virtue of not having lived in the manor for decades but tim and cass are very much not. firstly, this is also a mostly n52 thing, i think- but all of them assembling in the cave before going out on some bust or dealing with an arkham breakout etc. not happening. you could not pay any of those people to be in the same room, especially jason. they're all supremely stubborn people who often bring out the worst in each other. don't get me wrong, all the bats are capable of being empathetic and supportive but in a situation with batman, surrounded by all his partners and sidekicks, the situation is already explosive by sheer virtue of just being. also, tim would not live in the manor after bruce-quest. dick would've dragged him out by the ear if that happened. steph is not sleeping over at the manor nor does she have her own room. cass very much had her own apartment and even if she didn't live there, she would be at barbara's. in fact, the only people who should be living in wayne manor are damian and bruce. (alfred has been dead for a while but him, too, i guess. also unsure of duke's current living situation because i haven't read modern batman in a very long but feel like he would've dipped after his training). anyway, this is all to say, if there really is a situation that requires all hands on deck, they would not be so cohesive even if they tried to be and none of them would willingly stay over at the manor. if babs had time deal to with them and coordinate them, she would punch a screen in sheer frustration.

20. oooh. probably war games. i was already a little annoyed by how many different comics it spanned over and how much i had to switch between runs but i think the main thing was that it was just toooo long. unnecessarily. some good moments in there, tho.

21. hmm. overhyped isn't the right word, i guess but i don't love how much people treat red robin as tim drake gospel. like it's an excellent comic. yost cares deeply about not only tim but the rest of dc and its continuity and it shows!! it's a very rich and layered comic, taking into account the various connections tim has, the various events that have already occurred or are happening simultaneously. but when i read it, ultimately, it appeared more of a letter to tim's grief. and i loved that!! but i didn't love how it ended- the whole harkness thing, the disillusionment etc. idk something about some of the last few issues just felt off. still a very very good comic, tho.

[tangled-wires-and-a-dead-heart]

Here's a drawing of Eleanor! She's my little princess <3

There's a whole bunch of info on her + her worldstate under the cut!

(here's her outfits during the episodes so far!)

Info/headcanons for her:

She's an art streamer! Her favorite medium to work with is watercolors and acrylics!

She lives in a dingy studio apartment, an entire corner of this apartment is dedicated to her art- it's a huge mess.

She has a border Collie named buddy!

Her main income is from streaming but as a side gig she pet-sits (as in babysitting pets)

She's a huge animal lover and can't stand people harming/mistreating animals. When you get to know her it could be argued that she likes to talk with animals than people!

She's generally nice and tries to get along with everyone else around her no matter how they treat her. This isn't necessarily hard because most people tend to just naturally like her.

This does lead to her having a difficulty with developing relationships with a lot of people.

She can find it hard to grow past the friendly acquaintance/"friend that you talk to whenever you see them but don't really hangout outside of that" phase of relationships with most people (there are exceptions to this but this is how she viewed most of her connections with people)

This leads her to feel lonely even when she constantly surrounds herself with people (not that anyone would be able to notice unless she told them because she always has an air of confidence about her)

This whole problem is why she likes to talk with animals more than people, a lot of animals are fickle and are much harder to get along with than people are. It's just naturally easier for her to connect with animals because she has to work more in order to become closer.

(she definitely pretended that she was a cat when she was a kid- like she was reenacting warrior cats with actual forest animals-)

Her time in Scarlet Hollow has taught her a lot about relationships and how to properly bond with people and it's led to her being able to form closer and more meaningful relationships with people.

She doesn't even try to hide her gift in the slightest. People usually don't believe her anyways and besides it's an important part of who she is, she isn't just going to hide it just because others think that it's a bit odd.

Oh yeah and if it wasn't obvious her traits are hot/talk to animals!

She adores Dustin, that's her little drawer possum baby.

She's a huge believer in anything paranormal/supernatural because hey- if she can literally talk to animals, then who is she to say that Bigfoot or aliens can't also exist.

Stuff about her worldstate:

Duke's dead, Eleanor saved Gretchen. She felt Gretchen trying to slip away and instinctively dove for her. She feels absolutely awful over Duke's death though.

She spent Monday night at Stella's house

She told Tabitha about the kids sneaking into the mines

Rosalina lost her foot in the mine collapse. Eleanor really didn't want to leave a bunch of kids behind in a collapsing mine, it wouldn't be right. She also just didn't want anymore possible deaths to occur as a result of her in action.

On Wednesday she slipped away from Tabitha to go and hang out with Stella.

She told Stella that she should invite Avery to go ghost hunting.

Eleanor invited Tabitha ghost hunting

They both left the ghost in Oscar's house. She felt confident in her decision at the time because Tabitha was there but after the night had passed she felt bad that Oscar lost his job and both he and Rosalina lost their home. If Tabitha wasn't there she probably would've given her years to the ghost.

When searching for Stella on Thursday she had a conversation with pastor Daniel about their shared gift and about the situation with Tulip and the church's rats.

On Thursday she didn't go to Sybil's tea reading and while the "Canon" (as in the choice I chose in game) reason as to why she didn't go was because she didn't trust her (which now that I'm thinking of it- she is probably a bit distrustful towards her- especially after Wednesday) I think that the main reason she didn't go was because she just thought that she didn't have time for it- Stella was missing and no one around town had seen her. Eleanor really cares about Stella and she wants to make sure that she's okay first and foremost. (This is before the stone in the clinic takes over lol-)

Reese leaves the clinic without killing doctor Kelly due to Eleanor calming him down. She's just happy that she was able to deescalate the situation before anything horrible happened.

She was able to find Stella with the help of the dog militia.

She stayed the night over at Stella's again and started a romance with her.