#I was so livid. I still am angry the fucking audacity of old ass white men who think they know better than you
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#I’ve just started putting hm as my default for rant posts which is funny because it always just makes me think Geralt#shut up alex#anyway today’s been awful this last two weeks have been worse and I relapsed my most self destructive habit today. just fucking wonderful#I feel like I need to tear my fucking chest open it feels like I’m starting tod drown and it has for a while#it went away for a bit because I got so fucking angry at my coworker who relieved me. like you know the movie Hercules. the Disney one?#it was like when hades explodes after seeing pain and panic buying Hercules merch#I was so livid. I still am angry the fucking audacity of old ass white men who think they know better than you#who fucking asked. I know my fucking job better than you ever will you absolute shit for brains and just because you’re older#doesn’t give you the fucking right to talk down to me like a child. I am a fucking adult and the only reason I’m not your boss is because I#turned them fucking down. multiple times. they still ask me occasionally and I have a legit comepent boss#this is the second fucking old man doing awful shit to me in two weeks. the first one was a email saying im asking to be sexually assaulted#why am I still at this job.#best part about that was I did my fucking duty and immediately reported it to my supervisor and he gave it to our manager and my manager#DIDNT FUCKING REPORT IT TO HR!!! IT TOOK ME A WEEK AND I HAD TO SPEND HALF AN HOUR SCOURING THE INTERNET TO LOOK FOR THE HOTLINE#SINCE I WASNT GIVEN ANY OF THAT INFORMATION WHEN I STARTED!!!! AND BECAUSE MY MANAGER IS ALSO AN OLD MAN#HR HAD TO EXPLAIN TO HIM THAT “’be careful what you say it sounds like you’re asking to be groped’ WASNT OK!!!!!#HOW THE FUCK DO YOU LIVE SO LONG AND NO ONES TOLD YOU YOURE A FUCKING SEXIST ASSHOLE!!!!!!#god i need to calm down I have been off and on screeching into a pillow and I’m gonna lose my voice but just. shits so fucking awful#theoretically my manager has another site he can put me at soon and it pays more and I work by myself. and it will be worth it but.#only for a little while more. if I get one more 60+ asshole talking to me like I’m a child I’m going to riot#anyway this is all on top of my mental state being horrible because spring is when my SAD kicks in for god knows what reason#so I’ve been isolating myself and convincing myself no one likes me and I’m annoying and better of unalive 🙃#so life’s a fucking struggle right now#anyway if you got this far which I fucking doubt lol know I appreciate you#heavens know I’m not worth it but I appreciate you anyway
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