#I was like I need to save up for vacay with what money bitch

[breitzbachbea]

shit fuck forgot about insurance. NO TREATS FOR ME.

[aakeysmash]

Roommate or boss?

part 2, part 3, part 4

Pairing: f!reader x Katsuki Bakugou.

Warnings: none, really. AND THEY WERE POSSIBLE ROOMMATES, MAYBE?

Context: 3k words. Reader is a barista and she only meets Bakugo at the end of this </3. He’s her boss but she doesn’t know. I don’t delve into this tho, just so you know. They’re both 22.

A/N: never thought I’d write a slow burn but I HATE not giving context. This is just me yapping with zero grammar context whatsoever. The reader is super oc in this one, but all the girl names I thought about were UGLY. Let me know what you think about it!

“No.”

“Come onnnn it’s gonna be just this one time” pleads your best friend from the other end of the phone.

“Ochaco, you know I hate when you pull this shit” you reply, while putting your jacket on.

“I knowww, but listen, me and the cute guy have had NO time for ourselves lately and-“

“And you’re leaving me doing this assignment with who knows who? We’re always partners for physics, you know I can’t do it all alone and you can’t phrase your deductions to save your life. We complete each other. You’re my soulmate. Why are you leaving me for a guy?” you whine, while closing the door of your apartment and walking towards your car.

“It’s gonna be just this one time, I promise! It’s not like we’re gonna fail. I think. I hope…” she mumbles.

You sigh. “If we do fail, you’re getting your ass beaten, I am so for real” you concede after thinking about it. You start your car and put your phone on speaker.

“BABEEE I love youuuu! You know you’re the only one for me! I promise to finally tell you all the details on Saturday” she squeals.

You wince. “Nah, I can’t this Saturday. I have to work, manager is on vacay. Maybe Sunday?” you said, knowing she will start rambling.

“Y/N just leave that place, they don’t even value you as a person, let alone as a worker. Plus, your manager is a bitch” Ochaco says sternly. “I still haven’t got over the fact she makes you work double shifts just because she wants to be in Bali with her new stupid tomboy. Who, by the way, cheats on her. You said so yourself, and I heard him and your colleague going at it that one time I came to visit you last week -not Momo, bless her heart, how is she by the way?- oh and he steals her money. And-“

“I need the money, and I do love to make coffees for the nice old ladies that tip me” you interrupt your more-than-protective best friend, knowing that she could go on complaining for hours if you didn’t stop her. “Also, I just got to the cafe and I’m already running late. I’ll text you when I get off, okay? Love you”.

“Yeah yeah. Don’t overwork yourself too much, love you” and you hang up.

You and Ochaco have been friends since you were babies. Your parents were neighbours back in your hometown, and your moms coincidentally got pregnant in a span of 2 months apart from each other. You have been attached to the hip all of your school years, and fortunately you have been accepted at the same campus at university. You moved to different apartments because you wanted to be independent, but you are still living pretty near each other. You are enrolled in literature, while Ochaco has a passion for astronomy; you had chosen physics as a bonus class for some extra credits since Ochaco said it would be easy and you trusted her, but she didn’t take into consideration that you failed math throughout all of high school, and she had to save your ass multiple times in the past. You’ll never forget her face when she got an 86% on one of the graded tests she did for you: she was so disappointed she made you ask the professor to redo the test, which you barely knew the basics of. She got 100%, and the professor congratulated you (her) for being such an overachiever. You never felt more ashamed of yourself and proud of your best friend at the same time. On the other hand, she made you do her English essays on a monthly basis, so she really wasn’t in the place to complain about doing all the dirty work for you.

You had partnered up with her since she was a genius, but she met this “cute guy” a month ago and was head over heels for him. She still hasn’t said his name to you, all you know is that he is a part of the physics course and he apparently just stole your assignment partner.

You sigh inwardly. Sometimes you wished love could come to you as easily as it comes to Ochaco. She is a lover girl at heart, nicer than anybody could ever hope to be, but she sure could bite if she had to. She has been there for some of the worst moments of your life, and you have done the same for her. You really didn’t know what you would do without her. Maybe you should get her an apology pastry from the cafe’s leftovers to make up for the last two missed Saturdays (“they’re for the girls!” she said, and you meticulously met up every week up until you had gotten a job).

You’re a bit distracted by thinking about her when you get into the place you work at. It’s a cute cafe, a little bit too orange for your taste, but it’s cozy enough to make work pleasurable. Plus, it’s 5 minutes from your apartment (15 if you walk, but you are lazy). They pay on time, the coffee is good and the clientele isn’t too bad. If it wasn’t for-

“You’re 32 seconds late. You’re getting a formal complaint this time” says your manager, waiting for you with her arms crossed.

“Put that on the note that says I worked 8 extra hours a week for the last 5 months. Hello to you too, weren’t you supposed to be in the Philippines or whatever by now?” you say sickening sweet, with the fakest smile you can muster, while you pass next to her to get to the room behind the register.

“Shut your smart mouth up before I get you fired!” she almost screams. Some of the people at the table near her look at her like she’s crazy before going back to their cappuccino.

“My oh my miss Utsushimi, it’s not nice to use that tone before the rush hour” you reply, giving an apologetic look at your regulars next to her.

“Mpfh, whatever. Close up this place when you’re done, the boss will probably be in to ask you for the keys at the end of your shift. I’ll be MIA for the next two weeks, bye” she says to you. Then she turns around and smiles sweetly at the clients who previously looked at her with distaste and lies “pregnancy hormones I hope, me and my man are trying for a baby, I’m sorry for scaring you!”. You know damn well she had an IUD appointment last week, because she made you work instead of working herself. Fake bitch.

Without saying anything else, she leaves the place.

“I hate her ass so much”, says someone next to you.

You snicker. “Who doesn’t, Momo?” you face her with a genuine smile.

“Never leave me alone with her ever again, you know I can’t survive this place without you, work wifey” she kisses your cheek fast, before going back to making coffee for a client at the register.

“Ochaco will be hearing about this and she’ll slap you” you laugh heartily.

“I love her too, she’s my work wifey’s wifey, so she’s basically my wifey” she winks at you.

After a few more laughs here and there, you both go back to work like usual.

A couple of hours pass and it’s closing time. Momo waves you goodbye, clocking out. “I’m so tired I could sleep on the floor right now” she whines.

“Yeah, how about no. Let’s go, babe. We don’t want to drag Y/N’s time” says her boyfriend, Shoto, who shoots you a nod of acknowledgement before placing a hand on her lower back and escorting her out of the cafe. “I remember suffering at closing times, let’s leave her be and go home” he nudges your colleague, smiling down at her. He has been inside the cafe a lot in the years you’ve worked here, sometimes picking Momo up. Momo says he was one of the best bartenders the cafe ever had, but he found a job that payed him more and he decided to leave. You couldn’t blame him.

“See you soon, you two lovebirds!” you reply, waving a hand of your own.

Now all alone since even the waiters have gone home, you clean up the counter before packing up the pastry for Ochaco.

“Damn, I have to wait for the boss to give him the keys” you remember, rubbing your face.

You wait 45 minutes before a redhead makes his way into the cafe. He seems busy on the phone with someone.

“I’m here, let me just get- fuck no I don’t wanna talk to Camie about it, Baku- no, wait- fire? Are you going to take her place and finally come down here like the boss you are? Yes, I know- what? And where would we- what do I have to do with all of this? No, I’m going home- fuck, he hung up” the man sighs, before turning his body towards you.

“Sorry to have kept you waiting, not really manly from me” he smiles, looking sorry.

“Oh don’t worry about it!” your smile was really stretched, and you think he notices, because he says “sorry” again. “The manager said to give you the keys. So you’re the boss?” you say politely, stretching your hand with the keys towards him.

You’ve seen him multiple times, he’s a regular. He always gets the same order (one black coffee and one hot chocolate with extra cinnamon), and he always tips you and Momo well. Today he seems distressed.

“I wouldn’t wish to be the boss, to be fair. You could say I’m his right hand. Where’s Camie? Boss needs to talk to her in private before next week comes” he sighs.

“She said she’ll be gone for two weeks” you reply, confused.

“And who said she could do that?” Kirishima, you think that’s his name since you’ve written it on his order just yesterday, looks at you in disbelief. You shrug. “I don’t ask. The less I know about her, the better I feel about working here”. You start to pack your things up, before going towards the door with the man following behind you closely.

“This is nuts. I hate doing job interviews” he mumbles fast, turning the key in the lock. You raise an eyebrow, what is he even talking about?

“Do you live near? If not, I could give you a ride. I’d hate losing the only barista who makes boss man’s drink good enough to not make him pissy” he says, while pointing to his car.

You laugh. “It’s just a hot chocolate. Tell him he should try it with a few drops of hot sauce in it. Sounds disgusting but it’s actually pretty good. Also don’t worry, I live just down the street”. He nods and you wave each other goodbye.

“It does sound horrible. Thanks again for waiting, see you tomorrow for the same exact order I always make” he grins, then gets in his car and drives away, not after seeing you get in your car as well.

Once at home you call Ochaco, who’s “been worried sick, you never get home this late”.

“Y/N you seriously need a roommate. Did you even eat?” she reprimands.

You sigh. “I have to meet someone tomorrow. But you know, girls tend to look at you weirdly when you say you need them to know how to cook. They feel like you’re looking for a maid. Like, I can’t eat sandwiches every day like I did with the last roommate I had” you explain while opening your fridge. Sausages and smashed potatoes from yesterday will do the job for today.

“The psycho who thought vegetables made her look weak? Freak” you hear your best friend snicker. “At what time are they coming over?”

You groan and say “8 am. It’s a guy this time. Who wakes up before 8 am at uni? He’s already lost 2 points for this” while gulping down your food.

Ochaco’s snicker is now a full laugh. “People who have their lives together, maybe? But pay attention, males scare me” she replies quieting down.

“Yeah yeah. I’m gonna sleep now, text me the deets for Sunday, okay?” you clean your plate and go to the bathroom to wash your teeth.

“Will doooo. Good night, babe” she smooches on the mic before hanging up.

After making sure you locked your apartment door, you go to your bed, where you manage to fall asleep in thirty seconds.

The next morning you’re brutally awakened by the sound of your doorbell. You look at your phone screen: 7:42 am.

“Who the fuck is it now?” you grumble, before going down the stairs and looking through your peephole.

“Shitty hair I swear if this takes me more than 10 minutes… she hasn’t even opened the door. Yeah, she said 8 am, who cares if I’m early? I AM NOT the only one awake on a Saturday morning. Y’all are just lazy fucks” a blonde rudely says into his phone. You can hear him talking loudly from behind the door. You widen your eyes, before screaming “coming! Give me 5 minutes!” and rushing towards your bathroom to make yourself presentable. “Fuck, I forgot about the roommate appointment” you whine, while putting on a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. At least they are clean.

You open the door to find a broad man staring at you menacingly. He’s kinda tall, kinda (really) fit, kinda underdressed for the winter. Kinda hot, too.

“Hi, how can I help you?” you offer him the nicest smile your still sleepy mind can muster.

He looks you up and down, before focusing on your face and levelling you with an indifferent look.

“You must be Y/N. I’m Katsuki Bakugo, we had to meet at 8 am for the spare room offer. I've been here for 15 minutes” he gruffly declares.

You add “rude” to your list of “kinda”. You don’t like his tone. -1 point.

“Yeah, and it’s 7:48” you bite back, your smile faltering while shaking his outstretched hand. He’s definitely going to the gym with the callouses he has.

“Come in, I’ll let you see what you’re getting yourself into”, you say, opening your door more.

You live in a nice apartment, you think. There’s a nice kitchen with a nice island that also serves as a table in front of it, a blueish couch in front of the tv, and a couple of steps that bring you to a corridor with three doors: your room, the spare one and the bathroom.

You describe everything while he stays in absolute silence next to you. It makes you feel uneasy. -1 point.

You just finished showing him the bathroom and are ready to tell him you don’t think he’s a good suitor when he finally speaks up.

“And how much do you pay for this shit?” he asks. Nice voice, you think. Gravelly and rough enough to not sound annoyingly forced. +1 point.

“500 a month” you reply, while returning to the kitchen.

“Your shower needs some work done, it leaks. Also, mold is starting to show on the bathroom ceiling, might wanna check on that. Your oven looks unusable in the condition it’s in. Small tv. At least you’re clean from what I've seen” he begins to say.

You frown and turn to look at him. Did this bitch talk for the first time in 15 minutes only to complain?

“Do you even know how to cook with said oven?” you say, ignoring everything else he just said, and giving him a nasty look.

He tsks. “Yes. Is this your way of asking me to cook you fucking breakfast? I don’t eat with lazy people who get out of bed at 11 am” he makes sure to say.

You scoff. Men really do find the audacity to say stuff like this nowadays? It seems like you've been out of the loop for too much.

“You showed up early. It’s a sign of disrespect, you know? Also no, I know how to fix myself something. I just don’t want you to burn my kitchen down to a crisp and smell takeout whenever I get home” you say in the rudest way you find possible.

He smirks before saying “might wanna check on that fucking attitude of yours too before I poison your food”, tapping your shoulder to get you out of the way and take out some pans. You showed him where to find them earlier on.

“What the fuck are you doing?” you say in disbelief. “This is still my kitchen. Get out”.

He rolls his eyes. “I’m making you fucking breakfast to say sorry for interrupting your princess sleep. Just make coffee while I come up with something. If you know how to make it, that is” he doesn’t even look at you while getting eggs, milk and bread out of the fridge.

You’re baffled. He’s making himself at home when you didn’t even say he was accepted.

“Wait, you’re still not-“

“I'll give you the money at the start of every month. I’ll paint the walls of the room, I hate that fucking green, but painters are scammers so I’m doing it myself. I’m clean, I’ll just need a spare key in a matter of days to take my shit here. I’ll keep myself in my room if you keep yourself in yours. Any further requests?” he interrupts you, assembling his french toasts on the pan.

You’re even more stunned. But you’ve always been quick with your thoughts, so you come up with something.

“I’ll say yes if those french toasts are good. If they’re not, your ass is out” you say, still not looking at him, while making coffee.

“Might say yes if you know how to make a hot chocolate from scratch instead of the poor coffee that machine will make” he watches you from the corner of his eye. You scoff, you’re a barista nonetheless: who does he think he’s talking to? Meanwhile, he could swear he knew you from somewhere.

“Deal”.

“Deal”.

Neither to say, the french toasts were “not that bad” and your hot chocolate was “barely fucking acceptable”.

[featherfur]

Meng Yao should have been around when Jiang Cheng was running around with his head cut off trying to make disciples out of rogues and convince everyone to get started on the war. I just think he’d see this, probably manic, idiot who needs help and is 100% willing to be bossed around and who really doesn’t care about Meng Yao station in life because he’s just fucking desperate and wants to die but can’t because Yanli and just go “actually I’m interested”. Because Jiang Cheng would riot if he knew Meng Yao wanted to go back to his dad, and well Jiang Cheng is very pathetic when he thinks he’s being left behind (“You’re leaving me for the Jin just like Shijie? Tears and loud words for you! Tears and loud words dor a thousand years!”)

And Meng Yao would have a spot in Lotus Pier where he is VERY clearly wanted, he probably doesn’t become sworn brothers with anyone (or LXC and NMJ realize that no one needs to give the Jin any more influence and become sworn brothers with Jiang Cheng) unless it’s Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian (unfortunately WWX will still probably be killed or hunted at the very least but atleast Qin Su is alive? Maybe having MY around will help calm JC into the fact that LWJ wants to bang his brother and help him so JC can convince WWX to let LWJ atleast play for him, then maybe WWX can accidentally let slip about him already destroying one half and LWJ can help destroy the other half… Dunno if the Wen Remnants survive either sorry, honestly I don’t know if anyone can stop JGS in the long run)

So there’s two ways this goes: (under read more I have Thoughts)

Meng Yao DOES go to the Jin Sect still because JC gets wanting your Dad’s Approval even when he’s a dick AND he protects Yanli who immediately adopted him when JC showed up to the war with him. Without being stuck between a Rock and a Hard place (sorry NMJ not everyone is a annoyingly stubborn with their morals as you and MY is being hurt :( leave him alone :(( ) MY is able to continue being pressured without breaking and even though JGS keeps trying to get him to manipulate JC, MY won’t and won’t manipulate NMJ either and every time he goes to Lotus Pier to ‘look into’ the Jiang Sect he actually just spends the week being plied with children and listening to Jiang Cheng explain the fashion industry Again and talk about silks vs cashmeres vs wool so he just gets a vacay and is more prepared to stand up against his dad.

Also JC and Yanli catch on pretty quick to Madam Jin abusing MY because they were there after Madam Yu would hurt WWX and they know the signs of trying to hide the pain and Yanli suddenly starts Show Up whenever Madam Jin tries anything because that is her Didi now and she will protect him and if anyone ELSE tries to mess with him she will rip them apart like when Jin Zixun tries to bother WWX.

JGS does eventually manage to frame something on WWX but MY intervenes immediately by telling JC the truth and without the ‘did my kinda insane PTSD ridden brother so this?” Panic thoughts JC gets his people and is waiting for the force of Jin and smaller sects, with his two sworn brothers on either side. Because yeah NMJ absolutely hates the Wen but can he really ignore LXC and JC? Plus NHS on the side? He’s only there to protect WWX, anyone else can get fucked and even then he’s only protecting WWX because JC asked him too because NMJ thinks WWX sucks for choosing the wens because he’s very much of the one track ‘the wens suck’ mind. MY pretends he has no idea what’s going on but he does summon Jin Zixuan on ‘accident’ who shows up, annoyed he had to leave his kid, and is like “are we really going to accuse Nie Mingjue, known Wen hater, of protecting Wei Wuxian and lying about his innocence? Because his sword is the same size as my body and I’d rather Not”

(okay he’s more polite and subtle but that’s the gist) somehow Jin Guangshan dies, I’m voting Yanli poisoned him because I think Meng Yao is 100% willing at this point to simply take the abuse because Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen aren’t essentially telling him to murder his father and that he’s stupid for not holding harder to his morals (sorry NMJ,,, you just,, I love you but MY is hurting and he’s not as stabby as you) NMJ is still very much crankily telling him his dad sucks whenever they meet but Jiang Cheng gets all sparkly whenever MY is around because MY will say he’s Doing Good, so there’s only so much room before JC start just biting anyone who even looks at MY wrong. (NMJ says he’s proud of JC once and JC just starts crying and NMJ UnderstandsTM why MY won’t leave him alone)

But Yanli has to be the one to kill him because MY wouldn’t because he’s a filial son and probably hasn’t lost his hope he will be Loved, Jin Zixuan wouldn’t because he’s like the only one in the entire show not down with murder, Madam Jin is not about to give up the power and money that comes from being the wife of Jin Guangshan even if JZX would take care of her because Yanli clearly is willing to rip everyone apart who fucks with her family and unlike Jiang Cheng is willing to change the status quo, and if JGS dies on a hunt they’ll blame WWX so Yanli just poisons him slowly and he dies from ‘illness’. JZX takes power, Meng Yao is told he’s amazing twelve times a day because JZX can do busy work and argue against anyone but he cannot have a small talk conversation to save his life. Life continues peacefully, Jiang Cheng keeps kidnapping JZX’s advisor because he misses him. Meng Yao knows how to control literally every single great sect but he’s busy chasing down his nephews and helping Jiang Cheng avoid marriage offers to do anything.

Once Jin Guangshan died, LXC and MY both swooped in to have the Wen Remnants moved somewhere else to ‘civilize’ them (using LXC’s own words here) and WWX is very much caught between Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji arguing over who he’s going home with and he’s honestly never felt more Loved TM. WWX spends six months to break the rest of the tiger rally under the grumpy/watchful eye of NMJ who still isn’t happy anyone from the Wen’s is still alive but he’s weak to puppy eyes and also when he’s being strong armed by his sworn brothers, MY, and NHS (though he still keeps an eye on the actual cultivators, he’s pretty much forgotten the rest of the Wen Remnants exist he just cares about the ones who know how to use a sword). Wangxian happens, idk how I’m voting for a wild Jingyi another orphan decides that he wants to meet the Purple Angry Man and body slams into WWX’s legs trying to get to the Purple man and LWJ catches him and it’s a full on romantic moment of staring into each other’s eyes while Jiang Cheng makes disgusted noises and Meng Yao pats his hand and just tells him to accept it.

Or Meng Yao stays in Lotus Pier because Jiang Cheng has problems and Meng Yao loves a messy loudmouth aggressive bitch with a secret heart of gold. Also Jiang Cheng is the exact kind of Demi-aroace dummy to not realize Meng Yao has a crush on LXC and keeps sending him over to Cloud Recesses to help with trade or something and MY gets to hang out with his crush constantly.

MY is Jiang Cheng’s personal advisor since WWX is currently refusing to process his trauma and staying in a very traumatic place. MY does try to help but WWX doesn’t trust him and probably only half trusts him around JC, BUT MY is very good with kids and helps work with JC on how to slip WWX supplies while negotiating directly with Nie and Lan without Jin glaring over him this time, and Jin Zixuan is more than happy to help when he can because again he’s just like the only one with modern morals and wants Lotus Pier to be strong since if all the sects fall then well the fucking demons/ghosts they hunt will eat them. So WWX is slowly atleast not ready to kill him, Meng Yao finds out WWX already destroyed half the Tiger Tally and tries to get him to let NMJ and LXC help him destroy it further (because that ties the three sects closer and so WWX won’t just stab someone if someone isn’t happy about the Wen’s existing)

Yanli poisons Jin Guangshan again because I think that’s the best way for him to go, Meng Yao does grieve but also that lasts for three minutes before Jiang Cheng shows up with some children he found in Yunmeng and Meng Yao needs to explain to him again that just because the kid latches on doesn’t mean you can take them home. But with JGS out of the way it’s a lot easier to strong arm NMJ into letting the Lan take the remnants (JC and NMJ still aren’t happy about it but NMJ can’t fight the three other sects and JC is getting his brother back and he’ll take the Wen living if that means WWX is too) and WWX returns to Lotus Pier. The truth of the golden core comes out probably via WWX having a flashback or panic attack or something (or that one theory of Yanli knowing,,,) words happen, WWX storms off to find LWJ.

Meng Yao wonders why he likes messy cry babies but still helps out Jiang Cheng because they’re technically brother in laws and also because he really does care about him. Wangxian happens and now Jiang Cheng is really pissed but WWX also said he wasn’t going to just up and leave so they’re on a rotating system but honestly everyone’s just waiting for them to move permanently to Lotus Pier because Lan Wangji has this giant hole in his heart for kids who love Wei Wuxian and Lotus Pier is filled with kids who are Jiang and therefore are insane ans love WWX.

Personally I think this one is the least likely but it sounds very nice right?

[skyguygeneraltano]

Roast yoda

*summons 17 year old Anti Yoda me* You green little turd where the hell do I even start? Since you are so karking old. Let’s just start with Phantom Menace, Anakin Skywalker was effing nine. NINE YEARS OLD. And y’all are just “I don’t trust him because he’s scared!” I’m twenty and I would be scared to be by myself in a room full of judgmental creepy dudes deciding my fate. Anakin was literally recruited by a Space Hippie and left his enslaved momma on a desert planet. You guys let him in and you are just “let’s watch this kid really closely and pressure him and exclude him the whole time...what can go wrong?🙃🙃” Also you should have stopped Obi-Wan from training Anakin, poor Obi was too young and inexperienced to be taking care of a nine year old with emotional problems while grieving. Should have given Anakin to Plo Koon! And bruh, I try not to bring up the comics or expanded universe but Shmi Skywalker and even WATTO raised money for Shmi to contact Anakin and y’all rejected her. Assholes. And Yoda, why were you okay with using Clone Troopers? That are templates of one of your enemies? Are you stupid? Like if I saw clones of my fifth grade music teacher I’m running the hell away. And you sensed pain in Anakin when Shmi died but did you ever counsel him about it? Nope!

Ooooh boy, the Clone Wars is where you really shine in all your bullshit. First you want to give Anakin, attachment forming King, an adorable little fourteen year old Togruta Padawan. Just to take her away. That’s gonna end well. Then you should have told Anakin that his Master was not dead in the whole Deception arc. (But I’m gonna save that for a Kenobi roast) Then the whole Bombing arc was just a big terrible mess with all the Jedi Council involved (except Plo Koon and maybe Obi-Wan). But it all came down to you and Windu. Should have put the Force over the wishes of the Senate. You should have known Ahsoka would have NEVER be the temple bomber. Like y’all thought KRELL was a good Master. AND ONLY PLO APOLOGIZED. Revenge of the Sith, should have given Anakin better advice Yoda. Or be like “maybe we shouldn’t use you to spy on Palpy and send you on a nice, long vacay because you look like you are five seconds away from a mental breakdown” And you shouldn’t have sent Obi to kill Anakin and just did it yourself. What was so urgent that it needed to be done right then? Like the damage was already done. Most of the Jedi were dead. You and Obi-Wan could have teamed up after you killed Anakin and got Sidious. And in the words of my dad “look at him run away to that swamp planet like a little bitch”.

Original trilogy, you are only beating up R2 because you are jealous he’s prettier than you. You frog. And you thought LUKE was temperamental and rather train the tiny ball of rage that is Leia? Okaaaay...

I am probably going on too long and I’m missing a few things. But I’m gonna stop...for now

[belicvcr-blog]

[zoe 101 vc] are you ready? it’s ya local trashbag rachel here--- though you can feel free to call me rach or legit anything. i have a tenancy to call literally everyone ‘guRl’ or ‘BoO’ so if that makes you uncomfy pls call a bitch out it’s just habit okAy. i’m twenty years old, go by she/her pronuns and am from lil ol’ ireland aka the gmt+1 timezone !! under the cut you can find some info on this piece of shit aka delaney.

NINA DOBREV. CISFEMALE. SHE/HER. — have you met delaney rose whitmore? the twenty-four year old works as bartender/underground fighter and is known for being audacious and alluring but also rather obstinate and fiery. they’ve lived here in phoenix for twenty-four years and recently listened to believer by imagine dragons. [ fishnet peeking from beneath ripped denim. purple hues spread across tanned skin, a product of both pleasure and pain. a lifeless, makeshift punching bag lingering in the far corner of a run-down apartment. late nights, neon lights. watching your own father turn to a shell of a being. challenging stoic, bulky men to a fist-fight only to prove them wrong for ever mocking you. being no stranger to the cold feeling of cuffs around skinny wrists. she made sure to take all of her belongings, but left you behind. rim of liquor bottles meeting lips after hours. ]

TW: MENTIONS OF VERBAL ABUSE

okay so, delaney grew up in lil old phoenix and tbh has yet to actually ever leave the place?? like ya girl is twenty-four and legit never took a vacay or anything to get out of the place smh.

started off with a lit family life, was the only child to mr. n mrs. whitmore and they adored their lil baby??  life was legit great until it wasn’t.

by that i mean that delaney was a colic baby and it drove her father INSANE, all the constant crying and whatnot legit just drove him up the fken walls. he couldn’t cope with it and tried to refrain from being around her as much as possible which wound up leaving mommy dearest to deal with it herself.

cutting to the chase, daddy discovered alcohol could numb his stress and welp……. helo addiction amiright. he began to drink to cope with the situation. which eventually, resulted in him getting fired from his job when he turned up to work entirely out of it. which unsurprisingly, only furthered his depressive state and need to sooth the pain with alcoholic substances.

it took years before delaney’s mother had had enough, packing her bags one day and walking out the door. it seemed she packed everything, wiped the house clean of anything that was once hers, that was, everything but delaney .

delaney waited legit for DAYS for mommy dearest to return and take her with her but?? she never did?? and it rly fucked her up a lot basically.

the whole situation forced delaney to become head of the house, considering her pops did nothing more than drink away his days and he had no job so basically whenever she was of age she was getting constant part-time jobs in stores, cafes you name it. she was never that fussed on school and tbh was often found ditching it to go and work instead.

because she was #poor asf she very quickly mingled with the wrong crowds, she’s basically the embodiment of the dirtbag aesthetic??

oh also, as i trigger warning-ed at the start, the more her pops progressed into his alcoholic state the more he started to just.. be a dick? like at first he would never have said shit to either his wife or daughter but at this point in life he’s just miserable and sitting around waiting to die so he’s constantly saying rly horrid things to delaney ?? and while she tries to put on a brave face it always leaves her feeling kinda messed up inside.

saying this, despite the fact she had finally saved enough to move out of her home n into a trashy apartment of her own; she hasn’t abandoned her father either, while she doesn’t know if she loves him or not anymore she feels like… a responsibility?? so for that reason she still checks in on him to make sure he has food and isn’t well.. dead.

quick shoutout @ her occupations. okay so, underground fighting? as i said she’s a literal dirtbag, so when ya girl realized that she could make money having people bet on her to fight she was like … fucking sign me up?? she’s been doing it since she was around eighteen/nineteen, and it was her main source of income for a long period of time.

she took it really seriously? and tbh still does, she has a makeshift punching bag in the corner of her shitty little apartment that has honestly seen better days.

however, one day the popo busted in on one of her particular fights and there was just.. a lotta arrests made that day like damn. sOoo, for a lil while she was put on parole in hopes that it’d help straighten her out and with that she was forced to get a solid job? which is how she wound up being a bartender also because really it was one of the only places that would actually hire her given the fact most considered her a lowkey criminal. 

still 100% does the underground fighting because she loves it sm okay. but she has to keep it on the low low because the popo are always watching her like a hawk.

ya’ll honestly what’s more of a mess?? me?? this intro?? or delaney?? who fken knows man. anyway, basically she is smol and fighty, oh, she’s also one of those people who like.. you don’t tell her she can’t do a thing because she will literally die proving she can do that thing. doesn’t bother trying to make anything of herself bc *gestures to her pops* she gonna end up like him anyway. lOVes fighting, will 10/10 try to fight anyone at any given time. also kinda? a flirt?? she’s very vixen-esque and it’s just in her nature to probs hit on everyone. basically... likes fighting and flirting?? sounds about right. headcanon she probs owns a motorbike because?? why not. also lowkey has a thing against relationships because commitment n trust issues bc mommy left her and watching her parents relationship crumble was a bAD timE. 

i didn’t get time to set up a possible plots/connections page today considering i got called into work unexpectedly---- but i’m the biggest plot whore going and am up for literally anything? 

give me a possible half-sibling? i could see her mom having gone on to remarry and have a new family and tbh delaney wouldn’t want to give them the time of day because she’d blame them for her parents splitting and her mom abandoning her even though it wasn’t their fault. 

give me regulars at the bar??

 someone who has caught her or watched her fight before?? maybe even someone who’s a fan?? 

she could do with some party friends bc lets be honest ya girl drinks n smokes n does all kinds of drugs bc why not dirtbag for life?? 

give me the best friends who grew apart because they ended up growing up differently (aka give me laney having ditched this lil sweetiepie because she was becoming all hardcore and basically began to hate their optimism because she’s a negative nancy.)?? 

give me failed almost-relationships because she suddenly realized how close she was getting to someone and decided to do a runner on them like k no bye. 

give me a duo who are sneaking around?? [ the hills --- the weeknd playing in bg ]

ya’ll i’m a sucker for plots based on songs so maybe some of those?

kinda always wanted a plot based of is there somewhere --- halsey??

oR FKEN WAR OF HEARTS --- RUELLE PLs s.

happier ---  ed sheeran? trouble ---  halsey? robbers ---  the 1975?

idk ya’ll i’m just spewing ideas now pls give me EVeryTHINg.

[wayneooverton]

4 weird ways to trick yourself into budgeting better

I have a question: Who decided, long ago, that budgeting needs to be boring and dry as hell?!

I’m a personal finance nerd, but even I get bored to tears when I see the budgeting templates some money experts dole out.

To be fair, these methods work for some people – don’t let me yuck your yum if you’re an Excel junkie.

But if budgeting that way has never worked for you, you are not alone. For so many of us, there’s nothing fun about your eyeballs drying out while you try to get those little white rectangles to Do The Maths.

Me after a nasty Excel fight, but in my dreams (Taichung, Taiwan)

Whether you’re a hardcore budget-sheet junkie or you haven’t looked at your bank account this millennium, I’ve figured out a few strange-but-true tricks for you to make managing your money slightly more interesting, and – should she say it? She’ll say it – fun.

Yes, I went there.

Try a few of these out and see if they kick some color into your money life. Here are my 4 best tricks for better budgeting – good luck!

I pretty much do “budgeting” the way I do “yoga” — however the hell I want (Hoi An, Vietnam)

1. Open at least 3 bank accounts

Most people look at me like I have some freaky banking fetish when I tell them I have 8 bank accounts. So far.

Why? Pure and simple organization. (Also, it kind of makes me feel like a Kardashian.)

If I keep my emergency savings separate from my rent money, and I keep all of that separate from my Go “Head, Buy Those Tequila Shots money?” Way, way less money stress for me.

Ask your bank to help you set up as many accounts as you like – for bill paying, for fun cash, for that Someday Vacay to St. Tropez savings – but ask questions: Some banks charge fees or do credit checks before opening new accounts. Don’t be afraid to leave your stanky bank for a new fee-free one.

Don’t have attachment issues with your bank. Like me. With this car. (Christchurch, New Zealand)

2. Nickname all those bank accounts

I like you, so I’mma ask you my go-to 12th date question: Wanna see what my bank accounts look like?

You ready?

That’s right: I nickname the hell out of my bank accounts.

This helps keep my money and my brain organized – and I just feel a legit relationship to my money knowing I christened each account myself. Ask your bank if they have a nicknaming feature.

Do you know the deep pleasure I get when I receive a text that says, “You’ve just made a withdrawal from your RATCHET ACCOUNT”? Or when I see customer service type, “Ms. Anat, will this check be deposited into your FUCK OFF FUND?”

The little anti-capitalist in me gets a chuckle out of it every time. Suddenly, banking is hilarious.

When the bank teller looks down at my accounts and then looks back up at me, I’m just like… (Hue, Vietnam)

3. Sharpie your cards

Since I use several bank accounts, an annoying thing happens – I get sent several debit cards. I had no idea how I’d tell them all apart until I thought, hold up. Can’t I just take a Sharpie to these bitches and label them myself? In the words of the polarizing poet, Kanye: Who gon’ stop me, haaahh?

So, I took a biggo’ black marker and clearly labeled each card with the name of the corresponding account. These labels serve as a disciplinary tool: Seeing “BILLS ONLY” all huge on my bills-only debit card definitely stops me from spending my rent money on tequila.

On the flip side, pulling out my “RATCHET YASSS” card is an amazing conversation starter with strangers.

This goes for credit cards, too.

If you have an emergencies-only card, it’s less likely that you’ll throw it down for margs if a big ol’ “EMERGENCIES ONLY, BISH” is screaming at you in Sharpie. You can also leave problematic, temptation-danger cards at home. Done.

Trying to enjoy your life but credit card debt be on your mind like… (Taroko Gorge, Taiwan)

4. Embrace the cash envelope system

This is a whole way of life, y’all. The cash envelope system means you cash out your entire paycheck into small bills. Then, you manually organize your cash into labeled envelopes for everything on your budget.

Yup.

That means if you only want to let yourself spend $50 on Friend Dinners this week, you stick $50 actual dollars in an envelope labeled “Friend Dinners” – and if that cash runs out, then tough shit, it runs out. If you’ve budgeted $80 for groceries, you take your “Groceries” envelope to the store with $80 real dollars in it and stretch that money like ya momma gave you food allowance.

Handling your cash makes money feel so painfully real, as opposed to the make-believe money feeling that debit and credit cards give us. If you know you’ll benefit from this kind of discipline, getcha butt to an Office Depot and envelope yo’ life.

What other sneaky money tricks do you know? What works for you? Share!

IT’S RAINING MONEY HACKS AGAIN, Y’ALL (Taroko Gorge, Taiwan)

The post 4 weird ways to trick yourself into budgeting better appeared first on Young Adventuress.

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[th3re5e]

101 Thought Provoking Questions

Ha. For those of you who know me, you would know this questionnaire is SOO ME. Lol. 

1. Do you like who you are? Sometimes. I do have weaknesses that I am currently working on :) 

2. What would people say about you at your funeral? I have a big heart, even to those who do me wrong. I give people multiple chances. I care too much. I forgive too easily :/ and that I’m a bitch at times. LOL.

3. What would you regret not doing in your life? To travel.

4. What’s the wisest thing you have ever heard someone say? Fuck it. Just do it.

5. What lessons in life did you learn to hard way? Relationships. (Wow. my BF just now said, “Don’t be a fool, wrap your tool” LOL)

6. How often do your biggest worries and fears come true? Not soo often. Okay, maybe a little too often.

7. If you had one year left to live, what would you try to achieve? Get married, have kids and travel. Yes. I will make it happen. LOL.

8. Do you serve money or does money serve you? I serve money? 

9. Are you afraid of being your true self around others? Why? Fuck no. If you can’t deal with me, you’re a true friend. LOL.

10. What are you grateful for? My life and the people in it.

11. Have you done anything you are proud of lately? I recently got a review from my job and had a good rating :)

12. Have you made any recent acts of kindness? Yes. 

13. If you knew that you would die tomorrow, what questions would you ask yourself? How will it happen and will it be painful? 

14. If your biggest fears came true, would it matter in five years from now? It wouldn’t.

15. How would you describe yourself? I’m happy on the outside. I care about the people I love. I care a little too much. I worry to much. I try pleasing everyone. I put people before me. I will bend backwards and forwards for a person. I have an anger issue but I improved SOO much. 

16. Do you take people’s advice? I try to...

17. Do you get quickly offended? No. Honesty is what a prefer in life. However, if it is about others & crosses my boundary of “unacceptable” I will tell you off. 

18. Do you consider yourself to be a likable person? Ha. No. But if you get to know me then maybe. 

19. ‘We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give’ – What does this mean to you? This means to give during Christmas. LOL. 

20. Are you enriching the lives of others? Yes. But many refuse it. They think they’re a burden or they will have to owe me something in return. You being in my life, treating me with respect, and showing appreciation is good enough for me. However, I do enrich the lives of others without them knowing sometimes :)

21. Are you living a meaningful life?  Yes. Too meaningful & I love it.

22. What makes a meaningful life? Everything is meaningful to me. Strangers, nature, family, friends, animals, space, materialistic shit, clothes, etc. 

23. Would you ever give up your life to save another? In a heart beat. 

24. How much would you be willing to sacrifice for people in poverty?  As much as I can.

25. If you could live one day over and over again, what would you choose to do? I would go on vacation with the people I love so we can be on vacay mode 24/7 :)

26. Do you think you are important and worthy of affection and love? Yes?

27. What would make you feel more worthy? What do you believe needs to be different about you? This is a tough one. Next. 

28. What brings you down the most often? People.

29. Would you rather work less (and do the things you enjoy) and have less money? I would find that job that makes me happy and pays good. LOL.

30. Where do you find peace? At my happy place.

31. What is the most important quality you look for in another person? A cute lookin’ dude with a bomb ass personality and a great heart.

32. What is your biggest dream in life? To be successful in my craft and make hella money. I will use the money to create a foundation that brings back to the community.

33. What is your biggest fear? Failure and not being accepted. 

34. How would the world be different if you had never been born? I think the world would be the same, if not better. 

35. What life lessons do you wish you knew 10 years ago? I wish I had that strength to not absorb the negative in my life and to live a happy life. 

36. If you could tell your younger self one thing, what would it be? You should have done more. You should have associated yourself with people, joined more extra curricular activities and made more time for others. 

37. If your life was a movie, what would the title be? Fuck it. 

38. If your life was a movie, would you enjoy watching it? Hell yeah. My life is interesting. The ups and the downs.

39. What does success mean to you? It means to set a goal for yourself and do what ever it takes for you to achieve it. The process of working towards your goal is already considered a success for me because you’re one step closer to pursuing your dreams. 

40. If you could be a different person, who would you be? Bic Mitchum. That’s a BOMB ass name. 

41. What was the best day of your life? Why? I had many. 

42. What do you look forward to most in life? My journey to where my life will take me. 

43. What bad habits do you want to ditch? My anger. My negative mindset, My eating out too much. My laziness. 

44. Who do you look up to and why? My boyfriend. 

45. Do you know your partners love language? Yes. 

46. Do the people you love most know how much you love them? No. They tend to ignore it. 

47. Are you satisfied with the depth of your relationships? Yes. 

48. What do you owe yourself? Everything.

49. Based on your current day-to-day life, what do you expect to achieve in 5 years from now? To change up my day-to-day life. LOL. 

50. Do you say ‘yes’ too often when you really want to say ‘no’? Why? Yes. LOL. I tend to think others before myself.

51. What did you learn yesterday? To never take advantage of the a situation.

52. What do you like about yourself? My heart. 

53. Would you consider yourself to be a generous person? Yes. Hell yes. LOL.

54. Do you really listen when people talk to you? Yes. Their efforts to give me feedback is already a blessing as it is. I wouldn’t take that for granted. 

55. What is the number one change you need to make in your life this year? My lifestyle.

56. How many hours per week do you spend on the internet? 45+ hours.

57. What are your most common negative thoughts? Are they logical? I have many. Some of them are logical. Some of them are WTF lol.

58. Do you think it’s too late to do certain things in your life? Why? It is never too late to do anything. It’s too late when you die. lol

59. If you could be the most influential person in the world, what would you change? Our president. LOL.

60. How much time do you spend with your family and friends? Don’t know.

61. Where do you want to be in 5 years from now? I want to be married and to have my own house, kids lol. 

62. Is your life complicated by unnecessary things? Yes. 

63. How can you simplify your life and focus on the most important things to you? To stop worrying. 

64. What stresses you out? Many things. 

65. What makes life easier? Those who are there for me during my hardships in life.

66. How often do you give without expecting anything in return? All the time.

67. What is your greatest challenge? The adulting life. LOL. 

68. What is most important to you in life? Are you giving it the time it deserves? My loved ones. I’m giving a significant amount of time however I want to give more. 

69. If you could send a message to the world, what would you say in 30 seconds? Be nice, be kind, and lets make our world whole again. World peace. LOL

70. What do you most regret never telling someone? That I love them and how important they are to me.

71. When was the last time you tried something new? Yesterday. 

72. Are you afraid to speak your own opinion? Sometimes. It’s because many people take it the wrong way. 

73. Do you give into others too often and feel resentful because of it? Yes. And the main reason why I am resentful is because they don’t appreciate the things that I do for them. I’ve given so much and for them to not even acknowledge the fact that I helped and don’t even receive a thank you or some sort of appreciation, it’ll make me regret helping you. 

74. Are you holding onto something that you need to put behind you? Yes.

75. How often do you let your fears hold you back? Sometimes.

76. Do the people in your life bring the best out of you? Yes. 

77. How often do you make excuses? Not often

78. What is one mistake that you will never do again? I have many.

79. Which is worse, failing or never giving it a shot? Never giving it a shot.

80. What has grown you the most as a person – your challenges and trials or the comfortable yet enjoyable moments in life? Many things.

81. If you could choose to have no more challenges or obstacles in life, would you? Never. These challenges make me who I am. 

82. In one word, what is standing between you and your biggest goal? Money.

83. How often do you go to bed feeling angry? Rarely.

84. Would it be wrong to steal in order to feed a starving child? Yes. I mean, is robbing a bank to feed Africa wrong? 

85. If you paid more attention to the sad things in this world, would you feel more conflicted about it? I already do that now.

86. If we learn from our failures, then why is it so bad to fail? What is the TRUE definition of failure? Cos in my book, there’s no way to fail. 

87. What could you pay more attention to in life? My friends and family. They won’t be here forever.

88. Why do we think of others the most when they’re no longer around? Because when they were around, we didn’t think anything of it, sucks to say.

89. What does it look like to make the most of your life? Fulfilling your dreams.

90. What have you given up on? Myself. I need to get back on my grind.

91. How many people do you truly love and what are you doing for them? I love many. 

92. Do you ask enough questions, or are you happy to settle for what you already know? No. I need to ask my questions. 

93. What were you doing when you last lost track of time? Don’t remember.

94. Do you think you would be happy if you never had to work again? No. I need work in my life.

95. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? 25. I love this age.

96. If you could ask for one wish, what would it be? To bring my pasted loved ones back to life.

97. What inspires you in life? Everything. 

98. What can you not live without the most? My blanket.

99. What do you enjoy doing over and over again? My hobbies. 

100. When did you last laugh so much it hurt? I don’t remember :(

101. What is stopping you from living the life you want to live? I already answered this question. LOL.