#I was like “Damn I've never seen this splatoon character before!”

[wheredidalltheusersgo]

*grabs Geoff and jangles him around like car keys* I’ve got an au!

So if you don’t care about splatoon in any capacity theres these silly little guys named Callie and Marie, they’re basically pop superstars and also news anchors for turf war for whatever reason. there are these events called splatfests where you’re given a would you rather and you pick a side and then those two sides duke it out over a weekend to see which teams the best. Anyways in the final splatfest the teams were Callie vs Marie and Marie won. Callie got a bit salty and depressed and she got brainwashed by the main antagonists of the game and the plot of the second game is just finding Callie cause Marie went looking for her.

Now that that’s out of the way I can actually explain the au.

So for the ratings ™️ Geoff sets up this segment during the aftermath of would you rather questions where people would call in and vote and they were silly things mostly harmless. Then when his obsession with ratings got worse the questions became more intense (?) (he started pitting contestants against each other to cause drama) so Bridgette got fed up and the last would you rather segment had the two of them pitted against each other. Bridgette wins and Geoff is seemingly okay with this. (He isn’t) and continues on like normal. Next aftermath episode he just doesn’t show up and then he’s declared missing cause no one’s seen him in a hot minute. :3

Turns out while he was sulking Chris is like “hey, you look off, how about you come with me and put these on while your at it” gives him these massive bulky sunglasses and Geoff puts them on cause my guy is this surfer bro frat boy of course he’s gonna put on these sunglasses and then BAM hypnotized!

I’m not entirely sure if I want to set this in the splatoon universe or not so just have a human design for now

The arts kinda old but I still like this design I might update the art if I feel like it but I’ve got so many ideas my brains solution to it is to not work on ANY of them sooo.

Anyways hope you like it :3

BRO????? THIS IS A BANGER AU HOLY SHIT I KNOW PRACTICALLY NOTHING ABOUT SPLATOON, BUT DAYUMMMM!!!!

Geoff is not immune to hypnotism, and Chris knows exactly how to manipulate him. His ego would never lead to anything good, anyways.

[kyeskorner]

hmmmmmmmm

callie or acht or shiver x !human reader hcs?

i've been writing some stuff in that vein myself because i have a complete weak spot for crushing existentialism and worldly grief vs. indomitable MWAH and the idea of living on and i wonder how others see the vision....

like, everything i love could burn in holy fire tomorrow and i would still get up if any damn talking sea creature said i had to keep balling

oh anonymous... why ask for one character when you can GET ALL THREE!!! I have never done a human reader before in the splatoon universe but IMA GIVE IT A SHOT!!!!

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CALLIE, SHIVER, AND ACHT X HUMAN!READER

(sorry no gif for now!)

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CALLIE

(oh hey there's the gif!)

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Okay these are all basically gonna start the same

Oh and also they speak English too.

I feel like she would stumble upon some cryopods and you are stored in them

She would be like "Oooh what's this button do?"

She clicks it, and out falls you!!!

It takes you a bit to come to...

"H-huh...? Who are you...?"

"OMG!! A new friend!!! Hi, I'm Callie! And you are??"

"W-wait... what's going on...? What year is it?"

"Oh! It's, uh... 14024, why?"

"WHAT?!"

She is confused why you're so distraught.

"O-oh god... what about my family...? My friends? What's... are they-"

"Heyyyy, let's not think about that right now! Here, come with me!"

She is very good at distracting you from the Thoughts of Despair™.

She gets you home and welcomes you with open arms. Literally.... she gave you a hug if you accepted it

Immediately gets you a drink and something to eat. Being frozen for 12000 years must have you famished!

"If you need anything, I'll be in the other room!"

You adjust to your new life, and soon you guys get together!!! Yay!!!

One thing she absolutely loves to do btw

She loves to ruffle your hair

She never was able to do anything like that

"Haha! Your hair is all messy now! But you look really cute too :3"

This girl singlehandedly got you adjusted to the new world

And she even delayed inevitable feelings of demise???

She slays honestly

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SHIVER

(shiver is gonna use she/they!)

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"..."

"..."

"FRYE, BIG MAN, I THINK I FOUND OURSELVES TREASURE"

Wow, waking up and already being called treasure? Impressive

You place your hands on your head.

"This is all a dream, right??? Like- hah- I'm gonna wake up any moment now."

"This is a dream... for us! Come on guys, help them up!"

Shiver brought you home. They sat you down and clap their hands together.

"Tell me your story. I can tell you aren't an Inkling or Octoling- or anything I've seen before."

You tell her your story, and how you ended up in the cryopod. You let out a laugh... but she can tell it's not cause it's funny.

"...My, you poor thing. I can't even imagine what it's like to go through that."

"...They're all gone. I'm... never gonna see them again..."

Shiver reaches her hand forward and stops.

"Sorry. Is it... alright if I put my hand on your shoulder?"

"...Go ahead..."

They do that.

"Hey, look at me."

You look at her red eyes...

"We're gonna get through this. Me, Frye, and Big Man will help you. After all, that's what Deep Cut does. Help those in need."

"...T-thank you... I-I-"

You burst out into a sob. You pull Shiver into a hug, sobbing into them.

"A-ah! There- there... it's... we'll get through this!"

They are terrible at comfort.

Once again, you adjust to your new life.

Shiver laughed a bit at seeing your reaction to Master Mega.

If they see you getting nervous or near another crisis, they will hold your hand and squeeze it.

It always gets you out of that funk.

Sure, your first meeting was awkward, but you're so thankful to have her in your life.

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ACHT

(why is this gif so slow) (also acht will use they/them!!! im still deciding on my headcanon for them but for now, they and thems willdo)

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They... actually emphasize with you!

They know what it's like to spend a time locked away from society.

After all, they had no mind of their own for awhile...

Acht shares about their time in the Metro, and you share about your time before being frozen.

"Do you think there's any remnants of your time?"

"I doubt it... I think you'd really like the music from my time."

"Hah, I'd bet so."

Acht would definitely ask to sample your human voice. It's unlike anything they've ever heard before.

That's how you two spend most of your time, honestly.

Listening to music... it reminds you of the old times.

They notice you tearing up one time.

"You okay?"

"This just... reminds me of the old times... before everything."

"We can stop if you want-"

"N-no! It's fine... really... just. Feeling nostalgic is all!"

You let out an awkward chuckle. Acht pauses the music.

"Take a breather. Let's go get you some water."

They help you up, and bring you to get some water.

You drink it, and they look at you.

"Better?"

"A-a little..."

They smirk a tiny bit, before opening up their arms.

You stare at them, confused.

"Well... I just thought... hugs would help. It's something I learned up here-"

You quickly hug them back. They wrap their arms around you.

"Heh. You needed this."

"I really did... thank you..."

You feel safe in Acht's arms.

Maybe this new world... isn't so bad after all.

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TADAHHHH!!! I REALLY HOPE YOU LIKE THIS, SORRY IF IT'S KINDA DOO DOO THIS IS MY FIRST TIME WRITING SOMETHING LIKE THIS!!! BUT RAGHHHH THE INDOMITABLE HUMAN SPIRIT AND THEIR SQUID/OCTO PARTNER PREVAILS!!!!!! THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING :3c