#I was in a trivia game with my parents when I was like 16???

[hexalene]

The person I’m reblogging this from is an excellent blogger u should follow if you’re into BNHA, and I kinda wanted to jump off some of what they’re meta-ing with a literary reference/comparison I’ve been marinating on for a while.

To address the immediate relevancy to makeste’s post tho - I think they're dead on that OFA and AFO are more intimately tied than what’s initially been pitched by the characters in the story.

I personally think they ARE the same quirk, just forced to exist in two bodies. Like half of AFO went with OFA when it was accidentally forced into Yoichi with the stockpiling quirk. Yoichi was genuinely quirkless, no hidden quirk inside him all along (which would explain how he was able to survive having multiple quirks as well).

So to destroy AFO, they’re going to have to find some way to scatter the power of OFA across the whole cast as a last minute power up (look jake, it’s a shonen) or Deku is going to die to destroy it, becoming the ultimate number one hero to save them all.

Okay fine that’s too depressing for this story, what I REALLY think will happen is that Deku will destroy OFA and become quirkless again, but be recognized as the number one ultimate hero for his sacrifice. Better yet, the LAST number one hero because they better abolish the popularity contest BS before the series ends.

Then he’ll go on to keep being a hero because those muscles were 100% natural home grown grass-fed beef that didn’t need no OFA and he’s ALREADY started been using Hatsume’s gadgets so WHAT’S STOPPING HIM

Ahem

But what I REALLY want to ramble about is the fact that the quirk is named “One For All” and “All For One”

BNHA has shown some surprising depth of knowledge and research into what’s considered traditionally “Western” history. I wouldn’t be surprised if Horikoshi was aware of the origins of the phrase “one for all and all for all.”

Not to get all literary tinfoil hat on you but I feel like the themes of the story, at least as far as the origin of OFA/AFO as well as the society of BNHA generally, fits pretty well within the circumstances The Rape of Lucretia. The poem notable for being is the origin of the phrase “one for all and all for one” before Dumas popularized it in The Three Musketeers.

Honestly based on my memory the whole poem, The Rape of Lucretia is very All For One-core. It’s his aesthetic. He’s a bit of a Tarquin. At risk of extreme tinfoil hatting, I am going to try to elaborate:

Most abbreviated summary ever, I will not lie, it has been MORE than a decade since I read this thing:

Tarquin is a powerful roman military dude with all the honor and underage boys that comes with the job. He’s got a buddy, named Lucretia’s Husband, who does nothing but sing his wife’ praises night and day.

Unbeknownst to Lucretia’s Husband, Tarquin’s other job is hating women and he refuses to believe that she wouldn’t cheat and be a scheming, conniving feeeeeemale, so he makes his way over to her place and sets about with the alpha male dude bro SEDUCTION TECHNIQUES

It fails, she’s faithful AND a courteous host (the WHORE) so instead of facing his inner demons, Tarquin goes to her room and tries to seduce her one more time. She refuses him.

Tarquin threatens her, saying if she doesn’t consent to sex, he will kill a slave and make it look like they were having sex and tell Lucretia’s Husband about it so that he thinks she cheated.

She refuses. He threatens to kill her. She refuses. Failing to get any “““““plausible deniability””””” he goes through with the act he planned to commit all along and leaves.

Lucretia waits until Lucretia’s Husband returns, makes him gather all his soldiers, then tells them the awful truth of what happened to her.

They’re enraged, and then horrified, for Lucretia then takes her own life as she can no longer live as Lucretia’s Husband’s wife now that she is impure, ensuring these muscleheads Get The Picture and don’t talk their way out of getting vengeance for her in a useless “he-said-she-said” debate.

With the message thoroughly received, the men take her body and parade her through Rome or wherever they are and rile up a massive crowd to strip Tarquin of all his glory and kill him or something. Idk it’s been a while, but it’s all very Greek Tragedy and Sad n’ Shit.

NOW TO THE POINT:

Tarquin’s….act….is shown to not be driven by lust, instead completely driven by Lucretia’s Husband’s love for his wife and the praises he sings on her openly and proudly. Tarquin professionally hates women, so he cannot believe a woman could be loyal and pure.

(ties to: AFO’s belief that society is inherently corrupt and that noble acts of heroism are actually selfish grabs for personal honor and wealth. AFO acts as a villain and creates a world that reflects his worldview. He cannot believe that hero society can exist without fundamentally being as corrupt as he is.)

Like this man cannot stand the idea that Lucretia is a woman of genuine good character and pure while her husband is away. It has nothing to do with her as a person, but her husband’s belief, faith, and optimism in the inherent goodness of society his wife.

(At this point, AFO is Tarquin, society and the heroic forces acting against him are Lucretia’s Husband…and Yoichi is Lucretia. Hm…well this comparison just got a lot grosser, sorry for the unfortunate implications)

So Tarquin sets out to prove his worldview by corrupting Lucretia. He starts by trying to seduce her and fails. Then he tries to bargain and threaten her into consenting. This also fails. In the end, he forces himself upon her, which STILL doesn’t work, and then leaves her locked up in her home oh yeah he does that too, great guy Tarquin

(Unfortunate implications aside, I hope the line between AFO trying to convince Yoichi to join his side, to imprisoning and threatening him, to finally forcing a quirk onto his body only for that to fail in corrupting him as well is clear enough.)

So, Lucretia waits until her husband returns, makes him gather his allies, THEN passes the knowledge of Tarquin’s crime to her husband. She then kills herself.

Lucretia’s body is then picked up and carried through the streets, a symbol of rage and uprising against Tarquin, and what ultimately is used to bring his downfall.

(COME ON. Yoichi is saved from his prison, brought out by the second, only to die and pass on the -tragic backstory- quirk that is carried through the eras and becomes stronger the more people carry it on and becomes the catalyst that will defeat AFO??)

Obviously you could just point to the old tinfoil hat and be like “this kinda common tragedy stuff, asshole” but then there’s the name of the quirk, One For All and All For One.

The stanza the phrase “one for all and all for one” comes from is this one in The Rape of Lucretia:

The aim of all is but to nurse the life With honour, wealth, and ease, in waning age. And in this aim there is such thwarting strife, That one for all, or all for one we gage; As life for honour in fell battle’s rage; Honour for wealth; and oft that wealth doth cost The death of all, and all together lost.

The website I pulled this from says this is intended as a description of soldiers bound nobly together for war or some shit or something but hm ME PERSONALLY I feel like I remember this describing Tarquin and men like him?

Or it’s describing the circumstances that shape men to act like he did but it’s been more than ten years and that website has cast doubts into my heart, but for the purposes of this I’m sticking to my memory and I would love it if people with a fresher memory or more education than me had thoughts on it as well.

Anyways, my recall says this stanza is referring to all the work people do to have a good life. That war destroys that life and that in conflict instead of the collective being important, with wealth and honor generated from a good life, a man like Tarquin can come in and take the honor achieved by all and make it his alone through killing and taking credit for the efforts of those in his command, granting him power he lacked before.

In other words, the honor achieved by the “all” becomes the honor of the “one” and that honor is taken ignobly to create material wealth and power for the “one”.

And when that honor is taken by the “one” and wasted dishonorably, then all of the death was for nothing as well.

AND COME ON does that not sound like AFO??

Man takes the powers of others, uses it to amass wealth and power but what for?? Crime??? Nihilism??? Villainy??? SOUNDS LIKE DISHONORABLE WASTE TO ME.

And think of the society BNHA is built on — the glory of thousands of people (heroes, yes, but also scientists, researchers, other first responders) consolidated on the shoulders of an unworthy few more interested in furthering their own gains than improving the world they’re in. It’s a society built on AFO’s ideals, a world he helped shape and is complicit in the corruption of.

….if I follow through this comparison, that puts the successors of OFA after Yoichi in the role of Lucretia’s Husband, championing her injustice and building a mob to take town Tarquin.

You could also follow through and talk about why Stain’s “murder everyone who isn’t All Might levels of purity” is worthless as the teenagers that agree with him grow up and get part time jobs instead of worrying about the logistics of serial murder, because tragedy and collective injustice are a better adhesion than impotent rage against the machine.

Hm.

That’s enough of that, here, take this tinfoil hat from me.

Do you actually believe the DFO theory? What do you think supports it? (Genuine question)

I do think Deku and AFO have a yet-to-be-revealed connection, and back in my early BnHA fandom days I did think Dad For One was a possibility. nowadays though, I'm convinced there's a different explanation for the link between them -- namely, that OFA and AFO are actually the same quirk, and Deku is effectively a horcrux of AFO. I have a post here which explains this theory more in-depth, but basically the gist of it is that OFA was never a separate quirk at all. Yoichi really was quirkless, and when AFO attempted to force a quirk on his brother, he accidentally gave him a piece of his own quirk in the process. just broke off a lil section of it, like a Kit-Kat bar.

I will say that regardless of which theory turns out to be true, there's definitely something going on between AFO and Deku. chapter 217 in particular is practically overflowing with hints that the two are linked. Katsuki sees it right from the start, and even theorizes that AFO might have something to do with the SIXQUIRKS activating. and rather than disagree, All Might simply says "I didn't want to raise that point," meaning he made the connection as well. and then they just freaking drop the entire subject never to mention it again. and Horikoshi lays this panel on us as a parting gift.

which to me is confirmation that we'll be revisiting this at some point. simply because you do not lay the symbolism on that thick without some kind of game plan for the future. this isn't merely setting up OFA and AFO as foils; this is deliberately (and ominously) drawing attention to the numerous "coincidental" similarities between their two quirks. such as the fact that OFA is the only other quirk capable of holding multiple quirks within itself. and the only other quirk capable of being passed down to another user.

not to mention there's also the as-yet-unexplained link between Deku and AFO. the fact that Yoichi can "hear" his brother, and vice-versa. back in Jakku, the pre-Danger Sense Deku somehow knew that Tomura was awake before anything had actually happened. and when Deku first activated SIXQUIRKS, AFO was somehow aware, even miles away locked up in Tartarus. and we're just supposed to pretend this is all perfectly normal and makes total sense, lol.

so yeah there is definitely some sort of reveal coming up before this all ends. but I think DFO is more likely to be a red herring at this point. Horikoshi definitely knows about the theories, and that's probably why he still hasn't revealed anything about Dekupapa. he's the Hagakure in this scenario. distract me us with speculation about her, when in reality Aoyama was the culprit all along. it's the same tactic here. convince all the fans that AFO is Deku's father, when in reality the truth is even more insidious. he's not Deku's dad -- he's Deku's quirk. and the final final boss, secretly lurking not within Tomura, but within Deku himself.

tell me that's not the perfect final showdown setup. you know it's true. you know it's coming. or at least I hope it is lol.

incidentally, during the process of typing this all up, it occurred to me that if AFO is capable of creating horcrux!quirks (which we know for a fact he is regardless of how this theory pans out, since that's essentially how TomurAFO was created)... then why not Deku as well? which immediately led me down a whole new different theory rabbit hole. that's going to have to be its own separate post, though. my mind is now going a mile a minute, holy shit. this is going to be a busy weekend.

[aita-blorbos]

Am I the A for blowing my mothers head up?

(cw: child abuse/ neglect. canon peppered with headcanons. emoji: 9️⃣)

This is my first time posting something online so sorry if I mess anything up. Will be trying to remain anonymous because of the submission rules but i don't think it would matter considering this was broadcasted live on telly in recent memory.

I (Not sure what my age is exactly. Something between 18-21. And I am female.) have been "experimented with" (See: abused) by my parents for as long as I remember. My mother (M, was nearly 70) worked as a clinical trail manager and has been conducting transhumanist related experiments for years in secrecy. This included expanding the lifetime of my great-grandmother (R, 120). Of course, when she had me, she immediately began work. I've developed what can be succinctly called "psychic" and "telekinetic" abilities. I can read minds, influence other's thoughts, and move small objects without physically touching them. How I am able to do this I do not know- but I do not doubt that my brain has been tampered with. My memory is also thin and I am easily overwhelmed by certain environments or situations. I feel very on edge if something our of the ordinary happens.

My mother kept me in the basement for my entire childhood and teenagehood. I had a bed and some amenities, but the rest of the room was dedicated to trail and fMRI equipment. I was measured daily- physical traits, MRI, telekinetic abilities, psychic link with my mother. Stimulatory and similar studies were called "games" and "puzzles" until I was old enough to recognise what they actually were for. When I reached my 10th birthday I got to go outside for the first time. I was always told how dangerous everyone else was, and how superior I was to them. I was taught to read and write some time during my mid teens, however retaining knowledge seems pretty trivial to me. I started taking online university courses related to applied neuroscience at around 16. It seemed the only thing appropriate.

And my father always agreed with my mother no matter what. He was always pretty soft and absent. I wouldn't be surprised if she made him more dopey and submissive.

My mother started to receive less funding and needed to make more money- likely because her participant was no longer blind and the experiment no longer reliable. My mother applied to various quiz shows and similar (she always enjoyed her trivia) and we got a spot from a new BBC2 programme called 3by3. It was simple- use my ability to cheat the answers and slow other contestants down, then steal money from the BBC.

The quiz show itself was terrifying. I felt so out of place. Standing in the green screen studio with the loud bright lights was already agony, but I also had my mother screaming at me telepathically. Very few of the questions made sense to me, but I gave correct answers regardless. The presenter was very nice and just doing his job trying to make small talk with me (I think his name was Lee Mack???) but I had no idea what to say, and my mother would berate me regardless. I said things that apparently sounded suspicious to the public several times. It was embarrassing, I felt so trapped. I always have been.

By the time we reached the final round, I had had enough. I knew my mother had been abusing me for years at this point. I was sick of not having my body or thoughts to myself, and sick of her being able to get away with everything. Every time she made a snide comment about me I was more sure of what I was going to do. My mother was put into a box for the final round and I immediately had an idea.

The presenter asked us what we would do with the jackpot. I responded that I would love to see the world. Go travelling. My mother responded that she would love to dig out the basement, as a nice gift to me. That was the final straw. I told my mother "Fuck you" and failed the last question. The presenter began closing the show and I slammed the door of the box my mother was in shut. She screamed and threatened me. Then I blew her brains out.

It's been a year or so since this happened and I am doing fine learning to be a person in another country under a different name. I know my father was arrested and that my mother's company was shut down immediately but nothing beyond that. I know that murdering a human being is bad, however, she had it coming.

Thanks for reading.

[187days]

Day Five

It's the first day of school!!!!!

It was a really good one, too.

I had a feeling it would be because I was excited last night- like, can't sleep because Santa is coming excited- and I hadn't felt that way since before Covid. I never stopped loving teaching, but it's been really hard these past couple years. It still is, in some ways (like the teacher shortage), but a lot of the pandemic trauma has faded. And I know I'm not the only one who feels that way. A lot of my colleagues said it, too, and so did The Principal. There's a real upbeat vibe.

This is what my schedule looks like:

Prep, 80 minutes

Advisory/Flex, 10 students, 45 minutes

Global Studies, 19 students, 54 minutes

Global Studies, 17 students, 54 minutes

Global Studies, 16 students, 54 minutes

Lunch, 25 minutes

APGOV, 18 students, 80 minutes

Because it was the first day, we swapped Advisory and Block One so it functioned as a homeroom. My advisees are sophomores now- it's the same students I had last year, plus one who moved here from out of state- so we didn't have a ton of stuff to go over. I gave them the basic back-to-school paperwork, their schedules, and their chromebooks. Then we played a little trivia game (questions about the school) for the remainder of the time. The teams ended up tying, so everyone got a little prize, which was fun.

After that, I had time to do seating charts for my Global Studies sections, make photocopies for the students who were added to my APGOV roster, chat with The Principal, exchange "good luck" emails with Mrs. T, and take a walk through the halls.

Then it was rapid-fire Global Studies time! I always start by asking my students to introduce themselves and tell me something they're interested in so that I can have a quick conversation. Like, if they say they like music, I'll ask who their favorite band or singer is, or if they mention playing a sport I'll ask what position they play. Then I say "nice to meet you," and sometimes they say it back. It's a positive way to begin.

After introductions, I had them look around the room and find the useful stuff- trash can, spare pencils, art supplies- and went over the course guide. Once I outlined my expectations for them, I had them write me a note or an email (that I responded to after classes ended this afternoon) to tell me about their expectations for me as their teacher. And we wrapped up class with a little brainstorm about aspects of culture to get them ready for the first unit.

In APGOV, we chatted about why they chose to take the course, the benefits and challenges of an AP course, what my goals in teaching this specific course are, and so on. Then I had them take Pew's Political Typology Quiz and email me their results- tells me what my class looks like, ideologically- and I shared mine, as well. We discussed the various things that shaped our views (for them: the pandemic, inflation, social media, parents and peers, NHPR, rapid changes in this part of the state, the 2016 and 2020 elections...). It's a good way to start, and longtime readers will know it's one I use year after year.

We had enough time afterwards to start talking about history, and about the things that shaped our founders' views. They did a great job recalling what they learned in APUSH and American Studies, so that was cool. That's good prep for next class when we'll dive into the Declaration of Independence.

After the bell, I got a bunch of stuff set for tomorrow, answered emails, and went down to see how Ms. B's first day had gone (I saw Mr. X throughout the day since he's right across the hall). We chatted for a bit, I gave her some advice on a lesson she's planning in the future, and then I headed home. Actually, I headed to the grocery store because teaching is hungry work, but you get the idea.

That's my twentieth first day with students, all done!

[fridayyy-13th]

16 & 17 for the ask game <3 (want any tattoos/piercings? where?)

oh no this is gonna be such a boring answer...i don't want either! tattoos and piercings are cool as hell on other people, but personally? not my thing :P partly bc i really don't like needles, and (in tattoos' case) partly bc i don't really have anything i'd want permanently inked onto me.

bit of trivia though, i've actually never had my ears pierced! not bc my parents were strict about it or anything, they just asked me if i wanted to get them pierced when i was a kid and i said no. i just never really cared about it lol.

[ask game]

[artzychic27]

What do you think about Nino, Nathaniel, Kim, Max, Rose and Marc having same-sex parents? The fact that Max has a mother, I know about it. I'm just curious. If so, can you describe: gender, work, character, hobbies, etc. And can you write how they had children?

Nino: Two Moms

They're actually his aunts because in my Trans!Nino au, his parents suck and gave up all parental rights to them

Chris is his cousin, but they see each other as brothers

His aunts/moms names are Anais and LaBrea

They both go by she/her pronouns, are cisgender, Anais is a lesbian and LaBrea is bisexual

They had Chris through a sperm donor so Anais could have Chris

Anais is a seamstress and LaBrea is an event planner. For Sweet 16s, Quinceañeras, weddings, etc, LaBrea will give Anais business cards. She gets more business, they take in more cash

Nathaniel: Two dads, one mom

Maison is demisexual with no preferences toward gender. He had been married to a man named Alois for five years, and Aya was the surrogate

But, Maison and Aloïs broke it off on good terms when Nathaniel was three. Later, Maison began dating Aya when he found out they had more in common, and they got married

Aloïs is gay and cis, Maison is Demisexual, and a demiman and Aya is pansexual and cis. When Maison isn't around, Aya and Aloïs like to simp over him

Aloïs works as a history teacher, Maison is a vet with his own practice, and Aya owns a diner

Nathaniel still calls Aloïs ‘dad’

Kim: Two dads, one mom

Kim’s dad, Teo Lê is in a romantic relationship with Éliott Ature and a platonic relationship with Khuyen Nguyên

Éliott and Khuyen kept their names and just combined them with Teo’s (Also, reading the wiki, and apparently, Chiên is Kim’s middle name…)

Éliott is out of the country most of the time for work, and Kim is often left with Teo and Khuyen while he sees Éliott mostly through video calls

Khuyen is aromantic, Teo is omnisexual, and Éliott is gay. They’re all cis

Khuyen is a trainer at the gym, Teo owns a cafe, and Éliott does some sort of business overseas, I don’t know

Rose: Two Dads

Her dads are Elliot and Emmet, and she was born through in vitro fertilization

They’re both gay, Emmet is nonbinary and fine with masculine titles, but doesn’t mind gender neutral ones, and Elliot is also cis

They co-own a small bookstore/tea shop with a cottagecore theme

Elliot is more eccentric a excitable like Rose while Emmet is more down to earth. They balance each other out. Also, they both like knitting and crocheting

Max: Two Moms

Claudia and Nubia married each other after they finished university

They had Max naturally because one of them is a trans woman, I won’t say who

Claudia is a lesbian, Nubia is polysexual, and they both use she/her pronouns

Claudia works as a conductor and is training to be an astronaut while Nubia works as a crime scene investigator

They liked trivia games until Max kept beating them every time, so they switched to Uno… Which he also beat them in

Their favorite past time is teasing Max about his crush on Kim

Marc: Two Moms

Marc’s a test tube baby

His moms are Penelope and Alyssa

Alyssa was originally from Greece, and Penelope is half Latina (Colombian)

They’re both cis, Alyssa is a lesbian and Penelope is BiRomantic, and they use she/her pronouns

Penny is an interior designer and Alyssa is a middle school teacher

Usually on weekends when Alyssa is done grading papers, they go out clubbing. Other times they stay in and pry any information about Nathaniel they can out of Marc

[blazedrawsstuff]

Hemo Marrow, son of Monster Blood!

Hemo Marrow Son of Monster Blood

Parent

Monster Blood

Age

16

Killer Style

Don’t have one. I usually don’t care about how I look. As long as it’s passably clean and I feel good in it, that’s all that matters.

Freaky Flaw

I’ve been told that I’m kinda lazy. It’s  not my fault most important things are so boring.

Pet

Rex. Now lemme tell you, he is a BIG dog. Like you know those books about the big red dog? That’s how big we’re talking. His doghouse is as big as our own house!

Favorite Activity

If you don’t count my love of eating, I love to collect toys, especially ones from the 90’s. Game Boy? Check. Tamagotchis? Check. Etch-a-Sketch? Check!

Pet Peeve

Airline food. For some reason it just doesn’t agree with me.

Favorite Subject

Skullinary Arts. You get to learn how to make food and you get to eat it when you’re done. I say that’s a win-win! Also Study Howl, it’s a good opportunity to chill out after a long class.

Least Favorite Subject

Maths. Like I know it’s important, but I’m already halfway asleep by the time we finish one problem. Such a snorefest…

Favorite Color

Green

Favorite Food

How can I choose? I’ll eat (almost) anything!

Friends

Ichorus Marrow (OC, Cousin) Maxillae "Max" Carpal (OC) Gulliver Earlmand (OC) Deuce Gorgon

Abilities

Large Appetite Like his parent, Hemo can eat much more than other monsters. He can even eat stuff that is normally inedible without negative consequences.

Skillset

Competitive Eating

hanks in large part to his large appetite, Hemo easily surpasses most monsters in terms of eating quantity. Making him an easy winner in eating competitions. Collecting Hemo has been known to collect a wide array of toys, his favorites of which coming from the nineties.

Personality

Hemo’s personality is as simple as his fashion choices, in that he is chill, laid-back, carefree, and mostly just goes with the flow. Chill as he is, he’s also passionate, especially in the worlds of eating and collecting old toys. However, he is the lazy sort, often only giving minimal effort for things he cares little for (ex: schoolwork) and tends to procrastinate on important tasks, often leaving them until the last minute. When it comes to eating, he can be rather greedy, usually trying to take as much food as he can before the others can even get a finger on it.

Trivia/Additional Information

Both his first and last name are references to blood. As “Hemo” is a prefix meaning anything relating to the blood and “Marrow” references bone marrow, where blood is made. Hemo’s headcanon voice actor is Scott McCord, who voices Owen in the Total Drama franchise. His dislike for airline food is a reference to the Goosebumps TV episode “More Monster Blood”, where airline food was how the protagonists were able to defeat the Monster Blood by making it sick. His dog, Rex, is based on Evan’s (the protagonist of the Monster Blood series) dog Trigger. Like Trigger, Rex is also named after a horse that starred in films. It is also a play on Tyrannosaurus Rex, as Rex is about as big as one. His birthday is September 12th. The month coming from the month the first Monster Blood book was published. The day comes from the book Monster Blood for Breakfast, where in that book the Monster Blood was a “12 Hour Trial Strength” version. This makes him a Virgo. His interest in collecting toys references the fact that in the first Monster Blood book, the Monster Blood was found in an old toy store.

[umichenginabroad]

Stockholm Week 1: Uncovering Stockholm

Hi again! I am Jiwoo Kim, and I am back with new updates. 

I journaled throughout the week to keep my memories fresh and in the hopes of using that as my blog post, but I want to let you know that it is A LOT of content (warning in advance). If this continues I will break down my week into two posts :(  

Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy reading (or skimming) the adventures I had this week!

1/14 - Shopping Sunday 

Surprisingly, I had no jet lag! Thanks to the laundry machine breaking down (check my previous post for more details), I slept around 12 am and woke up at 11 am. Day 2 and I was already set. 

My friends and I visited Fern and Fika for our first fika. The fruit tea I got was amazing but my four friends, who all ordered the same thing, did not enjoy their chai latte. I didn’t get any desserts because it was early in the day but I am definitely planning to go back. 

To familiarize ourselves with the metro, we traveled around proximal areas around the DIS building. There were abundant stores, both international (H&M, UNIQLO, Lush) and local, along the streets. We visited the following stores: Normal (cheap bath and body products), IKEA (meatballs were exactly what I was looking for), UNIQLO (I bought a cute cross bag and my friends got heat tech clothing), and ICA (grocery run again). 

1/15 - First Day of Orientation

I discovered that A LOT of well-known companies and artists are from Sweden: the list includes H&M, IKEA, Spotify, ABBA, Ace of Base, etc. 300 students played trivia all at once with live music (piano and singing) from the DIS faculty!

After the trivia, we all went to faculty-led group workshops. They were 30-40 minute sessions where I met a lot of different students; it honestly felt like a freshmen orientation. We did some legos, played supposed Swedish games, and learned all about Swedish culture.

For dinner, I cooked with my roomie. Tomato pasta with cheese, sausage, diced onion, and premade sauce; doesn’t it look good? 

I usually don’t like tomato pasta but the one we made was so good that I devoured it in seconds

1/16 - Second Day of Orientation 

Second visit to the DIS building was much easier. We already got the hang of using the metro! I saw dogs in and out of the metro and they were all quiet and well-behaved. It was intriguing to see that even the dogs are different too! 

The main event was going to apply for a physical Swedish visa/permit. 

We woke up at 6:20 am (as a night owl, I had to suck it up) and quickly got ready. No one knew but we had to take a picture for the residence permit card and EVERYONE was crusty in the photos - weird orange lighting, no counting before the photoshoot. I am not ready to see the result yet and I don’t think I ever will be ready. 

I had about 3 hours before Housing Info Sessions at the DIS building again so my apartment friends and I headed home. On the way back, we stopped at T-Central station to get a replacement guarantee for our Stockholm transportation card (also provided by the DIS). We saw a mart called AM Store across the street and decided to check it out too - it turned out to be a HUGE Asian mart! When I say HUGE I mean like a two-story store HUGE (0o0). It literally had everything I could think of - sauces, dumplings, Kimchi, seaweed, enoki mushrooms, rice, all types of ramen, noodles, hot pot broths, mochi, hoppang, fortune cookies, etc. Korean, Chinese, Japanese, Thai, and many more types of food were there. 

This is a photo I took to assure my parents that I will be well-fed in Stockholm and that they don’t need to send me/bring me anything  

I went back home afterward for lunch and did some work for my asynchronous online ChemE Reactions course and blogger post rough draft. So busy!

At the Hornstull station, which is the closest station to our apartment 

During the housing info session, we wrote a letter to ourselves in order to practice writing our new address. It was unexpected but a good checkpoint for me to look back on my initial goals, worries, and plans for the study abroad. It’s going to be mailed to me in two months as a method to reflect how I am doing!  

Stockholms Stadsmission was the second thrift store I visited in Stockholm, and it was by far the best! It had various options (shoes, bags, clothes, accessories) of good quality at good prices! I got a baby shirt for $5. You do have to dig in a bit, but you can definitely find *･+:*｡･ gold *｡･:*+*

When we got back home, my roommate and I cooked rice, sautéed Napa with oyster sauce, and roasted chicken breasts. It took us like 2 hours (LOL) but they were on point - we were so full after the dinner. 

I am so proud of us 

That night, a student posted on DIS Navigate, an online community shared among DIS Stockholm students, saying that some are going to Beer and Play at 9 pm to “hydrate” for field study tomorrow. 

It was a short walk from Högalidsgatan so we all decided to go. It was a great decision. We all had SO much fun! DIS students kept rushing in one after another; we soon filled the entire pub. We all mingled and talked to each other, and I finally met someone in my core course. The number of followers and following in my Instagram shot up after this ;)

Pear cider was a popular choice

1/17 - Core Course Field Study 

I woke up early to go to a cafe with a friend for a fika! Earl gray with two desserts for breakfast was an experience. Although the desserts were too sweet for my liking, I loved the decorations in the cafe. They were so pretty! 

Taking pictures is a must in a cute cafe 

Today was the first field study with my core course, Sustainable Engineering in Scandinavia. It took the whole 4 hours, but the time did fly when I was having fun. We had an introduction about the class structure inside and went outside for a field study in Stockholm Seaport. While walking around various structures covered with snow, we asked questions after listening to the connections between the construction area and the environment, society, and economy. 

I couldn't open my eyes because snow was rushing in

Professor informed us that this weather is uncommon in Stockholm, but this was what I expected so I guess it worked out. I really think it snowed 10 cm today. My feet were surrounded with snow and my face was smacked by a snow blizzard. Although I was F R E E Z I N G more and more every second in the snow, I loved all of it. We stopped by a small store to have fika funded by DIS and I didn’t miss my chance for a free fika: I got green tea and a croissant with cheese and lettuce. 

Having a small class gave me a chance to talk with almost everyone in the course, and it felt more like a close-knit community. Later in the trip we were making small snowmans and having snowball fights along the way. We even planned an informal class trip on a ferry to Finland! 

1/18 - First Real Lectures 

Thursday was the first real day of classes. We mostly did introductions and talked about expectations in class. Except for the fact that my core course went over two chapters worth of materials during the three-hours lecture, it was fine. I was mentally exhausted, so after lectures I went straight home and did homework for the rest of the night. I was saving energy for Friday 🙂

1/19 - TGIF

Friday! I thankfully got off the waitlist for the Swedish Language and Culture course, so I switched it with the 8:30am Philosophy course. I don’t have an 8:30am class anymore! 

After my morning classes, I tried fika on my own. I walked around 10 minutes from the DIS building and went to a cafe with an interesting seating arrangement. I wandered around in a shopping mall nearby until it was time for the DIS cultural mingle event with high school locals. 

My first Swedish cinnamon bun, Kanelbullar 

The high school kids were so kind and eager to talk with us, which was unexpected but fun. I was informed that I need to go NORTH NORTH of Sweden to see the northern lights, which was a little disappointing :(  I am still going to try though! Seeing the northern lights has been on my bucket list for quite some time now and I don’t want to miss the chance. 

Right before heading home after class, I met a new friend who lives in Homestay. Rather than going home, we spontaneously decided to explore Stockholm together. First, we headed to a pop-up store of a Swedish artist. It turns out he was performing at the store like a small concert, and we were able to listen to all of his songs for an hour or so! Even though I couldn’t understand anything, I cherished every single part of that mini concert. 

I had Shazam on the whole time

To celebrate the end of the week, my friends and I prepared to go out after dinner. After the pregame, we went to the Time Bar, a bar close to our apartment that accepts American IDs like driver’s licenses. The bar was so cute, and the Passion Sour drink was the best alcohol I had in my life.

We made friends with the bartender and the security it was so cute &lt;;3

I was planning to stay home on Saturday but I somehow ended up in the Time Bar again. Two nights in a row but I still had so much fun.

A friend brought two cameras to the bar and we took cute photos of each other :)

1/21 - Gamla Stan 

Waking up today was difficult after going out two nights in a row, but I didn’t give in to my extremely cozy and warm bedding. 

I met my friends at the lobby around 10:30 am to head off to Gamla Stan, the Old Town! I was so excited to go because I've been only hearing good comments about it (even the locals recommended it). There were hundreds of aesthetic cafes, souvenir shops, jewelry/clothing shops, etc. There were multiple majestic towers too! 

I had my hopes high and Gamla Stan still managed to exceed my expectations!

We were just in time for the Royal Guards Ceremony (basically changing of the guards) at the Royal Palace of Stockholm. My friend was being a tour guide and explaining that no one lives in the palace anymore but they do it as a tradition.

I basically got a free tour around Gamla Stan aren’t I so lucky ;)

We stopped at stores that caught our eyes and I was able to find a perfect scarf in one of the stores! I couldn’t get my hands off of the scarf ever since I touched it, so I just had to get it. I swear the scarf stuck to my hands. You’ll understand me the moment you touch the scarf. It is the softest thing I touched in my life and I love it. My hair doesn't stick to it or get frizzy either! 

Okay, enough of the scarf ramble. Anyway, as we were getting ready to go back, we saw a churro place and couldn’t pass it. The owner started making a fresh batch of churros and it was so pleasantly painful to wait for them to be done as we stood outside, in the cold weather, smelling every single step of the baking process. The churros tasted like heaven and we were so happy with our decision. 

Before I leave, I am definitely going back to Mr. Churros multiple times to try every single flavor. I highly recommend the cinnamon sugar flavor though! 

This concludes my first week in Stockholm, and I can’t wait to experience more things! 

Thank you for taking the time to read this lengthy blog and I hope to see you again!

Hey då,  

Jiwoo Kim

Chemical Engineering

DIS Study Abroad in Stockholm, Sweden

[orbitalpirate]

15 questions, 15 mutuals

I was tagged by @stonesandswords, thank you!!!!!

Were you named after anyone? Yes, kind of. My grandma was named Eileen and she passed while my mom was pregnant with me. My folks decided they wanted me to have an E name in her honor instead of naming me Eileen bc I already had a cousin named Eileen. When I picked my name (trans) I knew it had to be an E name, in her memory, and E was good enough for me.

When was the last time you cried? This is so embarrassing, but when I saw the new spider verse in theaters and saw that Gwen had a trans pride flag in her room, I cried. Representation matters, y'all.

Do you have kids? No. I do have kids in my life that I love with all my heart. My cousin has three kids, and I would do anything for them. But I am not parenting material.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? With people who know me well, yes, but not with strangers and acquaintances as I am petrified of being rude.

What's the first thing you notice about people? Hair! I love people's hair it shows their personality and stuff, and I love it. I've been dying my own hair for years, and I love how people use hair to express themselves.

What's your eye color? Light brown.

Scary movies or happy endings? I love all movie genres, but I tend to gravitate towards more sad ones than happy ones, so for arguments sake, I'll say Scary.

Any special talents? I've been a drummer for 16 years, so I like to think I'm talented at it. And this is a weird thing to brag about, but I think I'm very good at whistling.

Where were you born? Long Island :( where I still live.

What are your hobbies? Reading, writing, drumming, trivia, loitering, and video games.

Have any pets? Yes!! I have a cat named Cat, a dog named Gizmo and a tortoise named Linzy. Linzy is the light of my life.

What sports do you play/have you played? None anymore, but I played softball and basketball in local leagues and tennis and golf for my school's team. I also love to go bowling, but I doubt that counts.

How tall are you? Short. Next question.

Favorite subject in school? Art and English. I took anthropology my senior year of high school and loved it.

Dream job? I want to be a showrunner for a children's TV show one day. That is the ultimate dream for me.

I tag (and feel free to not do this i just have to tag 15 mutuals lol) @clo-q @caleb-is-existing @carolinemathildes @cyberstevie @adistortion @spixi @samantharoseadele @taurototk @agentgreenbean @praxxisl @here-there-everyfuckenwhere @multifandomfanfics @batboi13 @fuckronanlynch @skyhook-parchment

[deadbyoffering]

I posted 102 times in 2022

That's 20 more posts than 2021!

47 posts created (46%)

55 posts reblogged (54%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@orangecreamsoda

@mara-xx217

@lxxse-cannxn

@yuzukan

@foginthestars

I tagged 102 of my posts in 2022

#dbd - 100 posts

#dead by daylight - 87 posts

#dbd build challenge - 17 posts

#dbd build - 16 posts

#survivor build - 14 posts

#the legion - 12 posts

#frank morrison - 10 posts

#intermediate challenge difficulty - 9 posts

#feng min - 8 posts

#julie kostenko - 7 posts

Longest Tag: 35 characters

#posting this early in case of leaks

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

See the full post

19 notes - Posted September 1, 2022

#4

If two killers ever have a kid, the kids power will ever has one of their parents powers, their own unique one or a combination of both parents's power.

Examples:

Sally and Philip:

The kid can turn invisible by holding their breath.

Frank and Julie:

Ever have Feral frenzy or their own unique power: like something related to music.

20 notes - Posted April 20, 2022

#3

My interesting moments from DBD 2021

After playing one years of DBD, I want to share my favorite interesting moments from matches I played.

I though someone was hacking, it turns out it a rare offering to see now of days. Does anyone remembers this?

Me and the girls watching TV with Bubba.

See the full post

27 notes - Posted December 31, 2021

#2

How Kazan got blighted

See the full post

34 notes - Posted October 29, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

25 things that the killers (mainly Mr. Carter) are not allowed to do 

Due to the “chainsaw Myers incident,” killers are not allowed to steal or borrow a another killers weapon or power for trials. Yes, it was awesome, but it puts an unfair advantage to the survivors.

The Legion are not allowed to steal Jeffrey’s bottles and make them into Molotov cocktails than claim it’s their new power rework.

Just because Mr. Carter is called The Doctor and have medical knowledge, doesn’t mean he’s a license doctor or thee doctor or the best doctor there ever was. He’s not allowed to claim so.

Mr. Carter is not allowed to ask the survivors if any would volunteer for any kind of his experiments outside their campsite.

Killers are not allowed to play dark souls boss music when there’s a brawl or argument between killers. No, not even music from Spongebob.

Just because Miss Mora was a close associated with crows, doesn’t mean she’s their handler and hold responsibility for anything they do.

Lisa is not allowed to “borrow” Mikaela’s “Book of Spells” to improve her power. May that monstrosity clone of yours be a lesson on using someone else’s magic without approval.

Mr. Carter is no longer allowed to assist Mr. Jeffrey with his “improvements” of his concoctions and formulas. Don’t ask.

Telling new arrivals that you can tame The Demogorgon with a tummy rub and rat meat is right out.

The Shape is not to be taunted with. Go ahead and see what happens on your accord.

The Nemesis's zombies are not toys, practice targets or crash dummies.

Mr. Carter and Mr. Jeffrey are not allowed to interact without the presence of a responsible overseer. Mr. Morrison does not count as a responsible overseer. Nor does Mr. MacMilian. Or Mr. Johnson. In fact, let's just keep the two of apart, period.

Mr. Hak's knives are not be construct into any kind of cosmetic. Yes Miss Lavoie, your earrings and spiked jacket are impressive, but both have been confiscated.

Mr. Johnson's camera is only for Mr. Johnson’s personal use only not the following: Shooting photo shoots, selfies, pictures of the wildlife and [Redacted]. Really?

Mr. Carter is no longer allowed to host game night, trivia night, movie night and any group activities of sort with his colleagues. Not even if you ask nicely. Or even with the survivors.

Mr. Carter is no longer allowed to argue with historical events with killers from the time period that the events took place. It was three days to clean up the aftermath from your argument with Tazan about the “Fall of the Samurai in Feudal era.”

No one is not allowed to declare war on any animal, thing or even The Entity (Me).

The Legion No one is not allowed to contribute to this list. That is not a challenge.

Mr. Carter is not allowed to go to fan conventions. Let alone use them as recruitment for volunteers for his experiments. Not even [Redacted] conventions.

"For The Entity" is not an acceptable justification for any decision. Unless I required you to do.

Yes, forum trolls are annoying. No, they don't automatically become Survivors.

Mr. Quinn is no longer allowed to offer the solution of “Use more guns" to any problem. Or "Get bigger guns."

Mr. Carter is not allowed to organize authorize or create in any form a “Dead by Daylight Derby”, staring the Demogorgon, Maurice the Horse, Talbot Grimes, Victor Deshayes, The Legion, The zombies, Kazan Yamaoka and Meg Thomas.” No…Just no.

Joey is not allowed to get on the PA system and announce to the survivors that he just won “The Game”. You know what, Joey is just never allowed on the PA system for any reason, ever.

The Legion is not allowed to arrange, schedule, advertise, promote or sell tickets to "cage matches" between The Executioner and anybody.

58 notes - Posted November 14, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[cheesybadgers]

Narcos Fic: Old Habits Die Hard (Chap. 15)

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20, Chapter 21, Chapter 22, Chapter 23, Chapter 24

Masterlist

Read on AO3

Pairing: Javier Peña x Horacio Carrillo

Words: 8,958

Summary: With Javier’s back against the wall thanks to the leverage held over him, can he find a way out once and for all without compromising his relationship with Horacio? And if so, at what cost? Meanwhile, Chucho has some wise words and memories to share with Horacio. 

Warnings: 18+ ONLY. Canon-typical violence, grief, parental loss, period-typical prejudices, blackmail, angst (although it comes with plenty of catharsis), smoking, drinking, swearing.

Notes: Oh man, here we are. Not gonna lie, I cried when I finished the final scene of this chapter 😭 The relief for them and for me that this portion of the story is over with is real. This and the previous chapter have been months of blood, sweat and tears, so I’m absolutely ready to say goodbye to them and move on to the next chapter, where I promise things are finally gonna get better for these two ❤️ 

Also, feel like I need to give a big shout out to Steve in this chapter...you will know why once you’ve read it 😉

Thank you so much to anyone still along for the ride, I always appreciate your comments/messages etc. 😘 I know this fic has been ongoing for about 84 years now lol, but I just wanna do it justice, damnit. And unfortunately, that can’t be rushed. Having said that, I think things are going to get a bit easier for me now that the plot-heavy part of the story is mostly done with. And I can’t wait to give them everything I’ve had stored up in my head and in my notes for about 18 months now 🥺

Oh and I’ve added to my OHDH trivia post to cover this chapter if anyone is interested. 

Whilst obviously I do not own Narcos or its characters, please do not copy, re-post, or plagiarize this fic in any capacity on this or other platforms. If you wish to create any fan works inspired by it, please provide a credit or send me a message if in doubt.

Chapter 15: Sacrifice

Horacio sat on the porch steps of the farmhouse, his fingers nursing a bottle of beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other, whilst Luna dozed beneath his legs. The skies ahead were darkening, and the wind had gathered pace over the course of the afternoon, swirling dust and remnants of hay up like nests of whipped candyfloss.

He wasn’t much of a beer drinker, but he discovered a pack at the back of the fridge – presumably left behind by Steve – and was making lighter work of them than intended.

A newspaper rested on his legs and fluttered upwards, flipping from one story to another, but the subject matter stayed the same. It was easy to forget that the world was still watching and waiting with bated breath for the latest development in all its gory detail. As though it was a cheap form of entertainment and not the future of his country hanging in the balance.

Contact from Javier had run dry recently, too. The few conversations they had shared were brief, and the words exchanged sparse. The silences were prolonged and heavy, and it didn’t take a genius to deduce that Javier was holding something back. Something big, Horacio suspected. Something he feared wasn’t entirely unconnected to the headlines that spoke of vigilantes, bombs and mutilated bodies displayed like macabre trophies across the city. Most concerning of all was a cartoon of Escobar being carted off in cuffs by a police officer wearing a ‘DEA Pepes’ vest. But Horacio knew better than to push.

It didn’t matter what his personal stakes in this were; he was out of the game now. He had been doing well to avoid following the news too closely, but he was only human. And the change in Javier’s temperament had got the better of him. Not that the vindication of noticing was of any comfort whatsoever and was why he was drunk long before sundown.

The farmhouse door creaked open, followed by footsteps echoing off the wooden decking and the rhythmic percussion of Luna’s tail drumming against the hollow steps.

Horacio didn’t turn around but picked up an unopened beer bottle and held it over his shoulder, the cigarette now dangling precariously between his lips.

“It’s a bit early for me…and you, by the looks of things.” Chucho arched his brow at the empty bottles surrounding Horacio. Although his face settled into a more neutral expression once he clocked the newspaper.

Horacio gave a vague shrug and placed the rejected bottle on the step next to him. “I figured they needed using up.”

“Did it help?”

“Not really.”

“No. It never does.” Chucho picked up a bucket kept by the door and collected the empty bottles, plus the unopened one on the step. He made to dispose of the offending newspaper, but Horacio’s elbow held the corner of it on his lap until Chucho gently tugged it away.

The resistance under Horacio’s arm pulled him out of his inebriated haze. He looked down at the smudged print, unsure if it was caused by condensation from his beer or the steady drips of rain that had started to fall. “Have you seen this?”

“I’ve seen enough.” Chucho placed the bucket back by the door, the bottles clinking together from the sudden movement, and the newspaper now folded on top of them. “But you need to remember it’s only half the story. If it is him, he’ll have his reasons.”

“I know. That’s what worries me. When you’re pushed to the limit, you do whatever it takes. Regardless of the consequences.”

“He never could be told. Always had a grand plan of his own. He got that from his Mamá. She wanted to change the world.” Chucho let out an affectionate chuckle that morphed into a wistful smile. “Her parents always told her she was too much of a dreamer. But that’s what I loved about her.”

Horacio felt his own lips curl upwards too. “Sounds familiar.” He took a swig from the one remaining bottle still clutched in his hand, his expression falling into a frown. “There was no point trying to stop him going back. Same way he never stopped me, even when he wanted to. I think he knew I had to figure it out on my own.”

“That’s usually how it goes for the hardest lessons. He’ll figure it out as well, you know.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because that’s what people do when they have someone to come home to.”

For some reason, that left Horacio speechless, and all he could do was stare dumbly at Chucho as if he was telling him something he didn’t already know.

“Come on, let’s get you something to eat.”

------------------------------------------------------

In the warm and dry of the farmhouse, and with his stomach now full of sopa de fideo, Horacio sat on the sofa cradling an extra-large, extra-strong mug of coffee. Anything to show willingness now that he was sobering up.

He hadn’t meant to let himself get in that state, especially not in front of Chucho. He was still a guest here, after all, and he’d already imposed enough, as it was.

Chucho poured himself a pot of tea from the freshly boiled kettle and joined Horacio in the neighbouring armchair. “Feeling any better?”

“Much, thank you. I’m sorry you had to see me like that. It won’t happen again.”

“It’s nothing I haven’t seen before, as I’m sure you can imagine.” Chucho allowed the knowing smirk to pass between them before he spoke again. “It’s nothing I haven’t done myself, either.”

Now that was hard for Horacio to imagine for some reason, and he didn’t do a very good job of hiding the surprise from his face.

“After Mariana – my wife – died, it was as though someone had turned out the light. But I still had to carry on as normal. The ranch was still here, and the bills still needed paying. Javi still needed his Mamá and his Pops. I ran myself ragged for a while trying to be both.”

“My Mamá, Elena, was the same after my Papá, Eduardo, died. I heard her crying at night sometimes, but she was always strong for me and Alejandra – my sister. So, I had to be strong for them. I thought I was the man of the house.” He scoffed at the absurdity of that statement, given how he was barely out of his teens at the time. “I took every promotion I could, just like he’d done. But it never seemed enough.”

Chucho let out a low hum as if Horacio had given the right answer to an unspoken question. “The paradox of grief.”

Horacio wasn’t at his sharpest as the effects of his earlier binge were still wearing off. But he didn’t want to disappoint Chucho by asking what he meant. He took a medicinal sip of his coffee instead and tried again.

He thought about the path his career had taken. About how until the war on drugs, it was almost a direct parallel to his father’s. Except his Papá had managed to marry and raise a family alongside his job. Admittedly, he had been absent more than was ideal, but deep down, Horacio always knew his parents did their best. Meanwhile, he had ended up married to his job. A joke that he was often teased with by his family for not having settled down.

He found temporary respite from prying questions in an old childhood sweetheart. Her name was Juliana, and to the outside world, they were the perfect couple. He was a respected police officer rising up the ranks, and she was a well-liked infant school teacher. And for a while they were happy. It was easy, safe, and convenient until it wasn’t.

Of course, the outside world only knew half the story. They didn’t know of the toll it was taking on Horacio to suddenly be surrounded by so much death on a daily basis. To lose superiors, partners and friends left, right and centre. To be expected to attend multiple funerals in an average week, without pausing for breath in between each one. To not know which colleagues could be trusted and which were selling each other out from right under his nose. To becoming numb to the methods of torture he inflicted on unsuspecting sicarios if they wouldn’t give him the right name or location.

And they certainly didn’t know of his attraction to men. But then, at that point, he was hardly aware of it either, having buried it so deep and out of sight after dipping his toe in that particular water. Javier became something of a re-awakening for Horacio, even if he wasn’t conscious of it at first. And the rest was history, including Juliana.

It wasn’t just Javier, though. A marriage would have been a compromise too far for both of them. He later found out she married and had children with a local doctor. A healer rather than whatever destructive weapon he had become seemed fitting, and he genuinely wished them well.

By this time, his father was long gone, but he couldn’t deny he had never stopped seeking his approval. He had never stopped wanting to emulate his father even when it was impossible and left him feeling like a disappointment. He had never stopped trying and failing to live up to the imagined expectations of someone who didn’t even exist anymore, and that was when it hit him. That was the paradox.

“What if I can’t escape it?”

“I don’t think it’s something we run away from. I think, in time, it just becomes a part of us. We don’t forget, but we don’t let it hold us back, either. We cherish the memories and live our own lives for us. And for the people we share them with.”

Chucho took a sip of his tea before getting up from his chair. “Let me show you something.”

Horacio watched curiously as Chucho left the room and returned with a brightly coloured wooden box engraved with intricate carvings of skulls and monarch butterflies.

Chucho took the lid off to reveal a few old photographs, a wedding ring, a mix of wooden and glass rosary beads, and something that looked like an old box of matches.

“I make an altar for Mariana every Día de Muertos. Haven’t missed a year since she passed. This was us on our wedding day.” Chucho handed one of the photographs to Horacio.

Horacio had never seen pictures of Mariana before he arrived here. And even then, he had only caught glimpses from a distance of the faded frames dotted about the farmhouse. Although Javier’s apartment contained an eclectic collection of ornaments and paintings, it was clear they had come with the place when he moved in. If he had any items of sentimental value from his life back in Texas, he kept them well hidden. So, to be given access to Peña family history like this was an honour Horacio didn’t take for granted.

He examined the photo, taking in Mariana’s long dark wavy hair, smouldering eyes to match and a striking profile that was all smooth skin and sharp angles. Horacio smiled to himself. Now it all made sense.

“She was beautiful.”

“She really was. And in this one,” Chucho passed another photo to Horacio, “you might recognise a familiar face.”

Chucho and Mariana were visibly older in this photograph, but as they smiled into the camera, the laughter lines told a story of their own. They were huddled in a diner booth with a small boy squeezed between them and he was grinning as fiercely as his parents. He wore a badge with ‘8’ emblazoned across it, and there was a cake on the table decorated with the same number of candles.

“She insisted he had his party there because they do the best buñuelos this side of the border.” Chucho laughed and shook his head at the memory. “I buy a box from them every year to go alongside some fresh marigolds and all of this. Although, actually, this isn’t everything. There was a poetry book she loved, but I don’t know where that went.”

“And the matchbox?” Horacio had been dying to ask ever since he caught sight of it.

“Oh, she loved Elvis.” Chucho picked up the matchbox to reveal the singer’s face printed on the front of it. “The influence of one of her gringa friends.” He rolled his eyes, bringing Horacio in on the joke he knew they saw from a shared point of view. “She played his records every day for months on end. It drove me mad, but it’s what she loved.”

“It’s a beautiful tribute. All of it.” However, Horacio couldn’t ignore the twinge of regret twisting in his chest that this wasn’t a tradition he grew up with in his own family. Or how different things might have been if it was.

“I think it’s the best way to remember those who have gone. To celebrate the time we had with them, even if it was cut short.”

Maybe it was the dregs of alcohol left in his system combined with his full stomach or the general air of comfort the farmhouse and its residents – human and canine – radiated. But whatever it was left Horacio overwhelmingly drowsy.

Whilst Chucho tidied the box away and cleaned up in the kitchen, Horacio sunk further into the soft cushions on the sofa until he was practically lying down. Throughout the evening, the storm had built to a crescendo. Sheets of rain bounced off the window panes like jagged pieces of shrapnel, and the wind whistled down the chimney and rattled at the door. The dogs – Luna in particular – were on high alert before settling back to sleep when the perceived danger never arrived.

By the time Chucho returned from the kitchen, the white noise of the storm had lulled Horacio into a deep sleep. Given the time and how retched the weather was, Chucho didn’t have the heart to wake him. So, he did what he had done for Javier many times before.

Chucho crept into his son’s former room and retrieved what he was searching for from a cupboard above the bed. He returned to Horacio and carefully draped a thick, woollen blanket over his sleeping form. And much to his relief, Horacio didn’t stir.

------------------------------------------------------

Despite Javier’s ground rules about only going after sicarios, Los Pepes became increasingly unhinged and reckless with their methods. They were in their element, and discretion was not on their agenda.

Not long after Search Bloc questioned Blackie’s girlfriend, she and her father were gunned down in their own home. And now, the latest target was Escobar’s lawyer, Fernando Duque. During an attempt on his life, Los Pepes managed to kill an innocent bystander whilst Duque escaped alive. However, his respite was short-lived.

Javier tried to help him by offering him a deal and a visa to the states if he became an informant, but it was too late. Even with Trujillo securing a safe house, Los Pepes got to Duque and his son first. Javier figured he was followed to Duque’s hotel. But by this point, he had to operate on the assumption he was being followed wherever he went. And that didn’t just go for those working against him.

Javier couldn’t so much as get up to use the bathroom without Steve or Trujillo enquiring where he was going. It was touching in a way, given that they were as powerless as Javier to control Los Pepes and monitoring him like this was about all they could do. But he was storing up some choice words for Horacio when he next saw him because he knew damn well this was his influence. Apparently, you could take Colombia away from the Colonel, but never the Colonel away from Horacio, a national emblem all of his own.

In the days immediately after Duque and his son turned up dead in the trunk of their own car, Duque’s ex-wife and mother were also murdered. As the death toll continued to rise, Javier felt as though he was hurtling towards a cliff edge in a car with no brakes and no exit route. It didn’t matter how hard he gripped the steering wheel or pressed down on the pedals; the vehicle careered nearer and nearer to its demise, taking down anyone who got in its way.

When Berna called to arrange one of their usual meetings, Javier was ready to declare himself out once and for all. If money was what it would take to get them off his back, then so be it. It was a language spoken fluently in his line of work by both narcos and bureaucrats alike. And it wouldn’t be the first time he’d shoved a briefcase full of notes into someone’s lap to get what he wanted.

But when he showed up at the usual rendezvous, there was no Berna. Instead, he let out a hollow laugh as he came face-to-face with Bill Stechner, the CIA station chief. Of course. He supposed it was only a matter of time before one of their cronies stepped out of the shadows they loved to lurk in so much.

Their paths had crossed a few times during meetings at Carlos Holguín, although they hadn’t spoken outside of those meetings, which was more than fine by both parties. There had never been much love lost between the CIA and DEA, the latter thought of as inferior and small league by the former. Nobody within the DEA really knew what Stechner did. But as Javier was starting to discover, that was probably for the best.

Stechner sat at a table in the corner of the café, two freshly opened beer bottles neatly lined up like they were waiting for the firing squad.

“What is this?” Javier asked once he’d sat down opposite Stechner.

“Just a friendly chat. You’re making some very scary people pretty nervous, Javier. Which puts me in a spot because…I’m the one who suggested they approach you in the first place.”

“Why me?”

“Guess you must have made an impression these last few years. Oh, don’t look so surprised. Your blind loyalty to Lover Boy’s little antics didn’t go unnoticed. And well, your partner turned down my previous offer to collaborate.”

There it was: the vindication Javier had been waiting for. “So, it was you, then. Steve’s kidnapping. The photos. The wiretaps. All of it.”

“Oh, bravo, Agent Peña. You should get a gold star and a cookie for that one.”

“And I guess you’re why we’re both back here after the ambush as well.”

“Ooh, two for two! Your talents are wasted at the DEA. Have you thought about switching sides? I’m sure we could use you somewhere.” 

Stechner’s wide smirk was briefly hidden by his beer bottle as he took a swig, seemingly having far too much fun to stop. 

“Between you and me, I only really wanted you, but I wasn’t gonna get one half of the double act without the other, was I? Not after Lover Boy was moved along. How’s ranch life treating him, by the way? I bet he’s kicking himself Los Pepes is finishing what he started. Or is he proud of the legacy he left behind?”

“Fuck you!” Javier spat. A curse whispered, but its potency was undiminished. His fingernails dug harshly into the palms of his clenched hands as they came down heavily on the table, causing the bottles to wobble and almost overturn.

“Now, now, Javier. I told you this was just a friendly chat, so let’s keep it civil. And let me say this plainly. I have our nation’s long-term interests in mind. That’s the beat I walk. And it means making sure the right folks are left standing when Escobar gets his bullet. So do Uncle Sam a solid. Don’t complicate that with misplaced heroics.”

Javier’s jaw muscles worked overtime as he tried to keep his composure, not wanting to give Stechner the satisfaction of another outburst. “Trying to stop kids being murdered is misplaced heroics, now, is it?”

Bill took a deep sigh. “Are we really doing this? I gotta say, I’m a little disappointed, Agent Peña. Maybe the DEA is the right place for you, after all. Which is a shame, as I saw a promising future for you in a post-Escobar world.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“Let’s just say you could play the dashing hero all you wanted. If you play your cards right now, that is.”

Javier’s grip tightened so fiercely on the bottle in his right hand that it was a miracle the glass didn’t shatter around his fingers. A part of him would have welcomed the release, but he threw back as much beer as he could in one go and slammed the bottle down on the table.

As he stood up, his chair scraped across the tiled floor with a grating whine. “Yeah, well, I’m no fucking hero. And we’re done here.”

“These folks are prone to emotional decision-making. Which you seem to be familiar with as well. And frankly, I’ve got better things to do than talk them down from killing a federal agent. So, do me a favour and stay in your lane.”

Javier lingered in the doorway, his hands cradling his hips and his glare shooting through Stechner with the force of a bullet. He gave him a final once-over before retreating into the night without another word.

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Once in the safety of his car, Javier dropped his head against the steering wheel, closing his eyes to try and quell the rolling waves of nausea. As he took several steadying breaths, he felt the weight of the cross at his neck more than ever. A symbol of faith, but apart from the person who loaned it to him, he wasn’t sure what he even believed in anymore. If anything.

Had everything been a lie since he got here? Had he even made a difference at all? Beyond getting a bunch of people hurt or killed, that was. Even once Escobar was gone, and they could all pack up and go home, hadn’t they just paved the way for someone equally dangerous to take his place? Someone like the Cali cartel, who were clearly biding their time. And what exactly did Stechner have planned for him once Pablo was out of the picture?

As he travelled back to Carlos Holguín, he was glad of the distraction of driving to temper the endless stream of questions spinning through his mind. Questions he had no answers to. Usually, he would have tried and failed to find them at the bottom of another bottle, but now wasn’t the time for that kind of soul-searching. Now, he needed to sleep. To shut down and not think about anything at all, even if just for a few hours.

As he fell into a dense and dreamless sleep that night, Texas and Horacio had never felt further away or more out of reach.

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Horacio awoke the following morning with a stiff neck and a sore head. Judging by the beams of sunlight cascading through the curtains and along the cracks in the wooden flooring, he figured Chucho had long since left to see to the livestock.

He hauled himself up from the couch with a groan and rapidly went in search of coffee and toast to ease his delicate stomach into the day. After breakfast, he folded up the blanket Chucho must have placed over him after he passed out.

The door to Javier’s old room was usually closed, but now it stood ajar. So, Horacio made an educated guess that this was where the blanket lived and crossed the threshold with a rush of anticipation. He was given a brief tour when they first arrived, but it soon became obvious it was a door to the past Javier preferred to keep shut.

As Horacio looked around the room, his gaze skipped over the photos and graduation certificates he had previously seen and landed on the shelves next to the bed.

He moved closer and found several old Police Academy and Criminal Psychology textbooks, a few classics, and a copy of With His Pistol in His Hand by Américo Paredes. Horacio recognised the title, as on a rare night off back in Colombia, Javier had insisted on renting the film adaptation.

He chuckled and rolled his eyes when he noticed a copy of One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez. Reading it had been a rite of passage back in Colombia when he was young. But it somehow didn’t surprise him to see it on Javier’s shelf, too.

Alongside it was a tatty anthology by Rosario Castellanos. Curious by its bedraggled appearance compared to the other books on the shelves, he slid it out and leafed through a few pages.

He double-backed when he noticed handwriting on the opening page. At first glance, it looked like Javier’s, but it was neater and less rushed than what Horacio was used to seeing scrawled across forms and reports. It read:

Para mi amor, Mariana. Siempre tuyo, Chucho.

(For my love, Mariana. Yours always, Chucho.)

It felt like he had accidentally intruded on something private. But then, he remembered Chucho mentioning a missing poetry book belonging to Mariana, and suddenly it all made sense. So, this was where Javier stashed his keepsakes, then. A satisfied smile crossed Horacio’s face as though he had unearthed buried treasure.

He placed the book back on the shelf and knocked some surrounding ones over like dominos. As he tidied up, he noticed an extra book stowed away behind those at the front. It was practically stuffed down the back of the shelf, and it took a bit of effort to dislodge it from its hiding place. Once retrieved, Horacio held the book up to read the front cover: Giovanni's Room by James Baldwin.

After skimming over the back cover, it became clear why this one had remained out of view. Although at least Javier no longer had to worry about that as far as this house was concerned. But it was still a different story beyond the ranch and their small circle of friends, so Horacio put it back exactly where he found it.

It dawned on him he had never even considered the possibility of reading such books when he was young, let alone buying one. And now, all he could do was imagine the comfort those stories might have been to him when he needed them the most.

On the shelf below the books sat several records, some 7-inch and some 12-inch. They spanned multiple genres, including American rock, New wave, Country, Motown, and Tejano. And at the bottom of the pile were a couple of Elvis albums.

As Horacio put the vinyl back in their place, he tried to bat away the sense of guilt creeping up on him for snooping around like this. But he justified it by reminding himself he hadn’t felt as close to Javier as this since the day he left for the airport.

There was never much time or headspace back in Colombia for luxuries like hobbies and interests, apart from the occasional night off. There never seemed to be enough time for anything between them, always stealing minutes and hours together. Always being dragged back into the fray or being pulled apart by circumstance.

If their parents’ stories told them anything, it was that life was too precious for such casualness. Not that they were casual. But their jobs had always been the priority. Jobs that they had sacrificed more for than anyone ever should. Jobs they had lied, killed, and grieved for. Jobs that had pushed them into corners, pulled them over precipices, and plunged them to depths they never thought they would sink to.

As Horacio lay down on Javier’s bedspread and inhaled the faintest trace left over from their first few weeks of sneaking around, a quiet conviction settled on his chest and in the pit of his stomach. Soon this would be over once and for all. For real, this time.

Escobar was running out of time and allies. And Horacio wouldn’t put it past the arrogant son of a bitch to hide in plain sight on the streets of Medellín. In Pablo’s mind, he was still the King, and the city was his kingdom. But a ruler could only push their subjects so far.

Horacio didn’t know exactly what Javier had gotten himself involved in, but Javier’s own words echoed in his mind. We’ve just gotta keep our heads.

He suspected Javier wouldn’t even know whether he was keeping his head or not because that was the trouble when you were caught in the eye of the storm. But his faith in Javier ran deeper than anything he had ever believed in. And if anyone knew what kind of sacrifice Javier would have to make to be free, it was Horacio. Because he had made it too.

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Following the death of Escobar’s brother-in-law at the hands of Los Pepes, his family attempted to flee the country. However, they made it as far as Germany before they were turned back around courtesy of Steve’s intervention. Once in Colombia, they were taken into protective custody by the national police right from underneath Steve’s nose.

As usual, even small actions couldn’t exist in a vacuum for long. Escobar’s family being denied entry to almost every country pushed him over the edge. He had already targeted businesses owned by the Cali cartel with explosives once he learned of their involvement with Los Pepes. But this time, a car bomb was detonated on the doorstep of the Presidential Palace. A message received loud and clear by Gaviria, no doubt.

Although Martínez hadn’t explicitly said he knew who the Los Pepes informant was, Javier didn’t need to be a federal agent to read between the lines. He could feel it in every look or interaction he shared with the Colonel. And Steve and Trujillo exchanging suspicious glances didn’t help matters.

They were all relieved when the latest briefing was over and headed straight for the outer perimeter of the school grounds. Anything to get as far away from any scrutiny as possible.

“Look on the bright side, man. Least you didn’t blow anyone up.” Steve laughed as he exhaled his cigarette smoke, but it was devoid of humour.

“It wasn’t your fault, Steve.”

“Thanks, but that’s bullshit, and you know it, Javi. I think you were right the first time.”

“About what?”

“About us not being the good guys. Least you tried to help Duque and his kid escape. Whereas I flew all the way to Germany to stop Escobar’s kids from doing the same thing. I rang Connie when I got back. Couldn’t tell her the truth. But hey…I’m expecting that Dad of the Year Award any day now.”

“Let’s just call it even in the fucked-up stakes.”

“You drive a hard bargain, but okay, fine. Deal.”

“What’s the plan now, Peña?” Trujillo asked after rolling his eyes at Steve's self-deprecation.

Now it was Javier’s turn to let out a brittle laugh. “I don’t fucking know. If it goes as high up as Stechner, they’re not gonna like it when I try get myself out.”

“I knew I didn’t trust that son of a bitch for a reason.” Javier had filled them in on his encounter with Stechner, and Steve, more than most, had a reason to hold a grudge.

“If anyone comes after you about any of this, you both need to protect yourselves first. You didn’t know anything. You understand?”

“But what about you, Javi? They can’t just get away with this. It’s not fuckin’ right.”

“Someone once told me I’ll know when to walk away because it won’t really be a choice anymore.”

“They’ve still got leverage over you, though.”

As much as Javier appreciated his partner’s support, that was a fact he absolutely needed no reminding of. “I know. I just…need more time to think.”

“Martínez said the Attorney General has urged Pablo to surrender since the bombing. We’re so close, Peña. If we get lucky, all this goes away, right?”

“Well, there’s no guarantee. But yeah, it would take the heat off.”

“Before Carrillo left, I told him if I get a shot, I’m taking it. But I always thought he'd be the one to put a bullet in that motherfucker.”

“We all did, Trujillo. But I can’t think of anyone else he’d rather have do it for him. And for Colombia.”

Because that was something that Javier did agree with Martínez on. It needed to be a Colombian police officer standing over Pablo when his luck finally ran out.

Javier remained on the concrete steps of the school grounds long after Steve and Trujillo disappeared back inside. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he should never have come back in the first place. He should have listened to his Pops and read between the lines of what Horacio wasn’t saying when they had discussed it that night. What Horacio couldn’t say, because it wasn’t his place to say it. In the same way Javier didn’t think it was his place to tell Horacio what to do when the roles were reversed. Why hadn’t he learned from his own lesson, for fuck’s sake?

He should have stayed in the safety of the ranch tucked away with Horacio, but he couldn’t leave well alone. And now he was paying the price with leverage that felt like a noose around both of their necks.

He hadn’t wanted to dismiss Trujillo’s suggestion that it would all go away once Escobar was gone. But Javier couldn't risk leaving it to chance like that. He didn’t know how yet, but one way or another, he would have to play Stechner at his own game.

------------------------------------------------------

By the time Gaviria publicly denounced Los Pepes, no one had seen or heard anything from Escobar in over a month. And his men were dropping like flies, too, with La Quica and Blackie now in custody. It was no wonder Pablo had run for the hills as his inner circle shrunk further by the day.

Los Pepes released a statement to confirm their job was done and that they had disbanded. Although Javier knew otherwise when he received a phone call from Don Berna.

An attempt on Judy Moncada’s life had been made by the Castaños, as they apparently fancied their chances at taking over what was left of the Medellín cartel. Quite why they had involved Javier in their fight, he didn't know.

“Look, you knew what these people were like. It was your choice to get in bed with Cali. Don’t involve me in turf wars between narcos. It’s not my remit.” Javier turned on his heel to leave less than five minutes after he arrived at the mansion.

“You know, the last I heard, leaking classified intelligence is a federal offence. Especially when it ends up in the hands of vigilantes who have killed innocent people. I’m sure the American press would be very interested to hear more about that. Amongst other things you’ve been up to, Agent Peña.”

Judy’s last sentence made Javier freeze on the spot. “Is that a threat?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact, it is.”

Javier sat back down on the sofa, his eyes boring into Judy’s with contempt. “What do you want?”

“You’re a cop, aren’t you? Arrest the Castaños. Arrest the Rodriguezes. And then accidentally shoot them in the head.”

A sharp scoff escaped Javier’s throat. “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me. You really think it works like that?”

“Well, tell me how it does work, then.”

“The only way it works is if you become an informant. Give us everything you’ve got on Cali. Then we might be able to give you immunity and a visa. But that’s if you go on record. Otherwise, there is no deal.”

Judy threw her head back with a shrill cackle. “You expect me to become a rat? Against the same men who tried to have me killed? That’s your grand plan, Agent Peña?”

“It’s the only plan.”

“Well, you need to think of another one. Medellín is my home. I’m not being forced out by these thugs.”

“You’re a tier-one narco, Judy. You’re up to your eyes in it. How the fuck did you think this was going to end?”

“Oh, I’m up to my eyes in it, am I? I’d be very careful if I were you, Agent Peña. You know what they say about people in glass houses. I can be on the phone to an American newspaper in a matter of minutes.”

Despite the gravity of the situation, Judy’s threats became a faint echo in the back of Javier’s head. He really was up to his eyes in it. And so was Horacio, even though he didn’t know it. Even though he had no say in any of this. Any wrong move on Javier’s part could ruin everything. Not in terms of his job. It surprised him how little he cared about that now he thought about it. All he felt was tired on that front. A bone-weary, head-to-toe exhaustion that fogged his brain as much as his body.

It was funny. Since he had first voiced the idea of quitting, he realised he’d already made peace with the notion. After all, he had been on borrowed time for a long while. Time gifted to him by Stechner of all people, it turned out. But at what cost? How many more pieces of himself was he prepared to give away whilst being nothing more than a glorified puppet to his government in a country that wasn’t his? And that was the crux of it; he wasn’t just gambling with his own life and future anymore. This wasn’t about him now.

The chill of Judy’s icy gaze pulled him out of his thoughts, but that was fine by him because he had made up his mind.

“Okay, fine. I’ve got another idea. But we’ll do it my way.”

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The wheels were set in motion after a few phone calls and a flight to Bogotá. One of those calls had been to Steve, who as luck would have it, was also in the city with Trujillo. They were following up on a lead from an informant who worked as security for Escobar’s family in protective custody.

It was a big breakthrough, as they had discovered Escobar was using a radio to communicate with his wife. The security guard had a list of radio frequencies, which Trujillo had taken back to Medellín to verify with Centra Spike. If the frequencies checked out, all they needed was for Escobar to make contact, and they could track his location.

Javier had insisted Steve go back with Trujillo. They could be a stone’s throw away from ending all of this, and Steve deserved to be there for it. But naturally, Javier’s pleas were ignored, and they were now stood in Messina’s empty office.

“Javi, what the fuck is going on? What are you even doing here?”

“Listen, there isn’t much time, but I promise I’ll explain everything later.”

“Did Messina summon you? Where is she, anyway?”

“She’s…gone. Back to the states.”

“What? Why?”

“She was moved on. I think by Stechner. From what she told me, she’d started joining the dots with Cali. Pushing for more resources to be redirected there. Someone obviously didn’t like it, and now she’s on a plane to Washington.”

“Fuck. Fuck! So, what happens to us now?”

“You go back to Medellín.”

“Me? What about you?”

“I told you I’ll explain later. But can you do me a favour first?”

“Not until you tell me what the fuck is going on, Javi!”

Before Javier could respond, the door creaked open to reveal Bill Stechner looking smugger than ever.

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t the DEA’s finest.”

“You got a fucking tracking device on me or something?”

“No, Agent Peña, you’re not worth the budget for that. You’re just…annoyingly predictable.”

“What the fuck do you want, Stechner?”

“Oh, the sidekick speaks! Although your presence won’t be needed, Agent Murphy. It’s time for the grownups to talk.”

“I’m not fuckin’ goin’ anywhere.” Steve stepped forwards, eyeballing Bill like he was a red rag and Steve was the bull.

“Steve, don’t,” Javier warned, placing his hand on Steve’s tense shoulder with a pacifying shake of his head, not that Stechner appeared intimidated in the slightest.

“Too bad about Messina,” Bill continued. “I heard she’s likely to spend the rest of her career busting meth labs in Indianapolis. If she’s lucky. Still, it beats losing your job and having your dirty laundry aired in public. But that’s the trouble when you’ve got skeletons in your closet. Oh…um…not that I suppose you’ll be in the closet after Judy’s done with the Miami Herald in about five hours’ time.”

He twisted his mouth into a mocking grimace and sucked in air through his teeth. “That’s gotta be embarrassing.”

That was enough to have Steve lunging for Bill, but Javier was quicker and well prepared. He grabbed Steve around the waist and restrained him. “Don’t be a fucking idiot, Steve. He’s not worth it.” He dropped his voice to little more than a mumble against Steve’s shoulder. “And I’ve got this, trust me.”

“That’s right, Peña, keep your loyal dog on a leash. Wouldn’t want him taking a one-way trip to the vets now, would we?”

With each venomous sentence spat from Bill’s mouth, Javier could feel his own fists clenching tighter and tighter. He wasn’t one to throw a punch, but he was damn sure he could make an exception, and rather him than Steve. However, he swallowed it down and bided his time.

“And Cali? They get a pass too, right?”

“For now. We’re gonna get them someday, but not your way. Never your way, Javier. For everything you know, you’re, uh…extremely naïve.”

The juxtaposition of hearing Bill using his name in full compared to how Horacio said it caused a surge of adrenaline to course through Javier’s veins. He expected it to materialise as rage, but instead, he let out a dry laugh.

“Oh, Bill. I think some of that power might have gone to your head.”

“Ouch. Some might say that’s sour grapes talking.”

“Maybe.” Javier paused, holding Stechner in limbo for an extra second or two, anticipating the shift in his facial muscles when the cogs in his brain began to turn. “How did Berna like Cali, by the way? I hear they’re excellent hosts. Isn’t that right, Agent Murphy?”

Steve looked at Javier with intense confusion, not quite following where his partner was going with this but trusting him enough to play along. “Oh, yeah. They make the meanest passionfruit daiquiris in Colombia. Nice pool too.”

There it was: a subtle shift, but it was there, nonetheless. Javier could practically see Bill clinging to the fragments of his ego that were cracking bit-by-bit right before his eyes.

Now it was Stechner’s turn to laugh, although it was sardonic and didn’t meet his eyes, which had darkened like a shifting storm cloud. “Son of a bitch. I’m almost impressed. You knew she wouldn’t talk.”

“Of course, she fucking wouldn’t. She came running to me after the Castaños tried to blow her up. Going up against them and Cali would’ve been suicide. And Berna agreed. I just had to make you think she would talk.” Javier moved into Stechner’s personal space and leaned close to his ear. “And it worked like a charm.”

Bill’s pupils had narrowed to snake-like slits in his head, his nostrils flaring. “Doesn’t save your career or your Lover Boy, though, does it?”

“Who do you think suggested she lay the blame at my door in the first place? On the proviso she keeps my private life out of it.” Javier paused, too distracted for a moment by Bill’s expression twisting and turning against its will as he stood paralysed, surrounded by his own shattered ego.

It came to him in a moment of clarity whilst sat on Judy Moncada’s plush cream sofa. And it happened in exactly the way Gabriela had described it in a conversation that felt like several lifetimes ago now. He had reached the end of the line; he knew it. He couldn’t arrest the likes of the Castaños or the Rodriguezes. And he certainly couldn’t have them killed. It went too far up the chain for that to be a viable option. He had to give Judy something if he was expecting her to uproot her life and walk away from an empire she had delusions of grandeur about inheriting. But it had become clear that he couldn’t protect his job and Horacio. The two pieces of leverage held over his head were too great, and something had to give.

“Once she knew she’d be safe with access to money, she was pretty fucking cooperative, actually. Because for everything you think you know, Stechner, I know more about the mind of a narco. Call it a perk of mixing business with pleasure and learning from the best.”

“You do know your career’s finished after this little stunt? I was considering recommending you for the, uh, newly vacant Country Attaché position once Escobar’s six feet under. But you’ll be lucky if you’re directing traffic now. This is what happens when you don’t stay in your lane, Peña. And remember, we still have those photos and wiretaps.”

No sooner had Bill finished that sentence than he was laid on the ground. It all happened so fast that Javier barely had time to register it. But then he looked down at Stechner who was whimpering pathetically and wiping bright red blood from his nose, top lip, and facial hair.

Javier looked up and across at Steve who was shaking his right hand out and vaguely wincing from the impact.

“Damn, that felt good.”

They caught each other’s eye, and whilst Javier’s usual instinct would have been to chastise Steve for flying off the handle, his mouth curled upwards, and he gave a firm, silent nod of approval.

Apparently, Steve wasn’t done yet, though. He strode over to Stechner, who was now rambling about how their superiors would be hearing about this. But Steve grabbed him by the collar and slammed him to the ground, squeezing a hand around his throat.

“If you even think about using those photos or tapes, I’ll fuckin’ whistle blow on you myself. And I don’t think the Board of Professional Conduct would take kindly to charges of illegal surveillance and the blackmailing of a fellow federal agent, do you?” Steve shoved him against the floor again for extra emphasis.

Javier tapped Steve on the arm to signify they were done. “I’ll catch up with you in a second.”

Steve reluctantly retreated from the room, leaving Javier looking down at Bill, who was coughing, spluttering, and grabbing at his neck in an overly dramatic fashion, given how quickly the altercation was over.

“See, Bill, this is what happens when you don’t stay in your lane. And you needn’t worry about my future career prospects either, because I’m through. With all of it. For good. So, you can keep your corrupt promotions. And you can go fuck yourself.”

With that, Javier left Stechner to lick his wounds. And for the first time in years, if not decades, he finally felt like he was in control.

------------------------------------------------------

Javier caught up with Steve at the foot of the Embassy steps, both keen to get as far away from the crime scene as possible before anyone noticed the state they had left Bill in.

Javier pulled an envelope from his jacket and before Steve could protest or ask any more questions, leaned in to hug him.

“This is everything Judy Moncada and I know about Cali. Well, everything she was prepared to tell me off the record, anyway. I’m sure there’s more, but it’s the best I could do. Don’t show it to anyone until this is all over. Until there’s an op on Cali up and running. Then it needs to go to whoever’s in charge. Anonymously. You need to keep your name out of it.”

His voice was low and muffled as he patted Steve on the back with one hand and slipped the envelope into Steve’s pocket with the other.

“Javi, what the—?” Despite his protest, Steve followed Javier’s lead and gave a firm pat on his partner’s back in return. He pulled away with the envelope now secured safely in his inside pocket.

They stood silent for a moment, Steve’s face falling as the penny slowly began to drop. “I’m so sorry it came to this, Javi.”

“My old man warned me about trying to fix a system designed to stay broken. So, I guess this is what happens when you don’t listen to your parents.” Javier huffed out a laugh, but the regret was written all over his face.

“No one ever listens to their parents. Think that’s just how life’s supposed to be.”

“Fair point. Although, he did say sometimes we have to make choices that are simple, even if they’re not easy.”

“So, it didn’t all fall on deaf ears, then?” Steve gave Javier a long look. It was the easiest way for him to acknowledge the gravity of Javier’s sacrifice without them having to talk about it when the wounds were still so fresh and raw.

A gesture that was appreciated by Javier and met with the beginnings of a smile. Because he didn’t have the strength or words to dissect recent events yet. That would come later.

“You need to get out of here before anyone starts asking questions. Or finds Stechner.” Neither could resist a chuckle at that. Or of the sweet memory of that piece of shit lying on the floor splattered with his own blood. “And if they do, just tell them everything they want to hear. You knew nothing, and this was all on me. Including Stechner. In fact, make sure that one gets spread around. I’m more than happy to take the credit.”

“Fuck you, Javi. And anyone who comes askin’.” There was no malice in Steve’s words, but once again, it was the path of least resistance to make a joke out of it.

“That’s fair. Just do me a favour? Make sure you get him.”

Steve fixed his eyes firmly on Javier’s as he nodded. “I’ll be in touch when it’s done.”

This time, it was Steve’s turn to pull Javier in for a hug.

“People are gonna talk if we keep this up,” Javier teased as he patted Steve on the back again, only this time without the ulterior motive of smuggling intel into his clothes.

“Let ‘em. Although, er, maybe don’t tell Carrillo I said that.”

“My lips are sealed.” A smirk passed across Javier’s lips as he allowed snapshots of Horacio’s jealous streak to flash through his mind for a second before swiftly getting a grip of himself.

They pulled apart, neither really wanting to be the one to say goodbye first.

“Thanks for everything, Steve. And tell Trujillo and Connie the same.”

Steve mock saluted in return. “S’what partners are for. And will do. But this isn’t goodbye, y’know. You don’t get rid of us that easily. Con wants to see you both again and…I think you owe us a drink or two for pickin’ up the slack.”

“Always the cheapskate, Murphy. Some of us are unemployed now.” He threw a wink over his shoulder as he turned to leave. “See you around.”

As he walked away from Steve, the Embassy and everything that came with it, he heard a drawl asking him to say howdy to Texas. “Not a fucking chance!” he called back. He’d never uttered the word howdy in his life, and he wasn’t about to start now.

------------------------------------------------------

Javier’s next stop was his apartment. He stuffed a few essentials into a battered leather travel bag and tidied the place up as best he could. He took one last walk around each room, his gaze lingering on the bed as memory after memory of Horacio collided in his brain at once.

At the same time, he blinked away thoughts of the photos, some of which were taken here, refusing to let them taint the history of their relationship. A relationship that he would never have had if he hadn’t moved to Colombia. A fact he would always cling to, no matter what emotions unravelled in the future, when he looked back on and processed his time here.

He shoved those thoughts away, for now, preferring to remember reuniting with Horacio after a year apart. The way those first embraces and kisses felt after so long spent going without. The way the sex felt like it never had before. And the way Horacio whispered, “I love you.”

Javier snapped back to the present with a jolt, his last few steps out of his apartment, to Steve’s mailbox to deposit his keys, and into a taxi to the airport, taken with a new sense of urgency.

And as he sat on the plane with his fingers clasped around the cross that had become so deeply embedded in his heart, body, and soul, he closed his eyes and relaxed his jaw. Because he was finally going home. And for good this time.  

[mochegato]

Even the Losers

Chapter 16

Chapter 1     Chapter 15

Marinette blinked as the room around her slowly came into focus.  She tried to bring her hand up to rub her head to help alleviate her pulsing headache but her hands weren’t responding.  It felt like there was a weight on them.  Or like they were being held down, bound.  Marinette’s eyes flew open and her heart started pounding as she searched the room for the akuma.  She looked at her hands and silently cursed to herself.  Not only were her arms bound to the arms of a wooden chair, she saw her own naked hands instead of her distinct red suit.  

She groaned and looked around for any clues to where she was being held and what the akuma might be.  If she could figure out their powers, she might be able to figure out how to get out of this.  She stopped when she saw a man in a green suit making his way toward her.  She blinked a few more times taking in his suit and hat.  “Is that… are those question marks?  Are you a question akuma?” she muttered out in French.

The man tilted his head at her.  “You’ll find English is necessary if you want to get out of this one alive, young Wayne.”

Marinette stared at the man a few more seconds, letting his words settle in her head as things started to click in her mind.  She wasn’t in Paris.  This wasn’t an akuma, because there weren’t akumas anymore. She and Adrien had defeated his father. She was in Gotham.  She had been on her way home after a disastrous dinner at the Wayne’s. This was a Gotham villain, not a Parisian one.  This was the Riddler.

Marinette breathed out a sigh of relief before her face scrunched in frustration.  “Are you kidding me?  Are you kidding me right now?  You had to do this right now?”

“Oh, I never kid about riddles.  Now, is not the time to panic, Little Lady,” he taunted.

“Oh, you have no fucking clue.  Now is most definitely NOT the time, but you made it the time,” she hissed at him.  “Do you have ANY idea how bad my week is going?  My night?  Do you? Do you have any idea of the trauma and nightmares I’m going to have to deal with already?  And that was before you forced me to witness your suit in person. And can you comprehend the mental and emotional cataclysm I’m already going to have to endure?  And you’re pulling this shit?  Now?”

“I’m just going to ask a few questions and then it’ll all be over and then you can have your little mental breakdown,” he jeered condescendingly.

She narrowed her eyes at him and tried to lunge at him, but her chest was tied to the chair, holding her back, and she’d never hated rope more than she did in that moment.  She growled and glared at him.  “Oh thank you for the permission.  And for the record, it won’t be little.  It’s going to be a monufuckingmental breakdown.  Thank you very much.  Granted it isn’t everything on Earth is destroyed but me and one other person, who caused it in the first place, level of bad.  But I think I’m justified in needing to take a fucking second to think and process. A second I’m not going to fucking get now am I?  Because of you.”  She turned her head to the side in frustration but her eyes got caught on a small red light.  Her mouth dropped open.  “Are you recording this?” she yelled at him.  That complicated things considerably.  Now she needed to watch her words.  Now she needed to make sure she didn’t expose anything.  Well that just sucked even more.

“Well, it wouldn’t be much of a game show without an audience, now would it,” he purred.

She scowled at him.  “By all means, record this to watch later.  Most people aren’t looking to get bitch slapped as hard as you’re going to get so publicly, but to each their own, I guess.  But, consent is a thing and next time, keep me out of it.”

She strained against the ropes holding her hands to the chair arms.  She glowered at him when they proved too tight for her to move her wrists.  “Also, it’s already not much of a game show.  If you have to knock out people and tie them down just to get them to play, either your show sucks or your host does.  Or in this case, both.”

“Now, now,” he snarled, his smile considerably more strained than it had been before.  “We’re just testing the newest Wayne to see how you’re going to fit in.”

“I could have told you that without all this,” she glowered.  “But you wanted to be a big man and ask a question.  So ask your little question.  Be a big man putting a bound, petite, non-native English speaking woman, in her place.  Although if that’s what it takes to make you feel like a man, that’s one of the most pathetic things I’ve ever heard.”

Riddler seethed at her, attempting to keep his face neutral, but failing spectacularly.  One of the Waynes should be afraid of him.  He had been hoping the new one would finally give him a Wayne that cowered in fear.  Instead, he got yet another feral child.  He gripped his question mark staff tightly, fighting the urge to hit her with it.  It was too early to start.  She’d get her punishment soon enough.  He looked up with a grin.  Very soon.

He looked back at her with a sadistic smirk. “Fine.  I’d hate to keep a lady waiting.  Perhaps first I should start with the stakes.”  He moved closer to smile in her face.  “Think well on your answer young Wayne, because for every question you get wrong,” he pointed up with his staff, “a knife falls.”

Marinette let out a deep, annoyed sigh and looked up to see a series of knives tied to the ceiling right above her seat.  She sighed and gave him a flat look. “Really?  That’s the best you could do?  You realize what I’ve been faced with before, right? Or did you not do your research?”  She narrowed her eyes at him.  “You look like a man who never does his research.”

Riddler sidled up to her in a step, his face a few centimeters from her own.  “We can start by testing out the knives if you’d prefer.”

Marinette leaned her head back.  Even if she couldn’t talk him out of making one drop, it wasn’t going to get her.  They would miraculously get diverted just enough to miss her.  Luck could be a bitch when it was against you and he’d left too much up to chance.  “Already changing the rules of the game?  What were you saying about a good game show?  Guess you really don’t care.”

“Fine!” Riddler screamed.  He walked away a few steps and turned back to her with a malicious glint in his eyes.  “Let’s start slow, shall we?  Starting in 1881, this hall brightened Paris’ nights while darkening its satire.  What is the name of this baby of Salis?”

Marinette stared at him blankly for a few seconds. Her face went slack.

Riddler leered down at her, his face breaking into a creepy grin at her apparent inability to answer his question.  “Oh, how sad.”  He gave her a mock pout.  “Looks like the new Wayne isn’t so smart after all.  What do they see in you anyway?  Can’t even answer a simple, easy question.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”  Marinette finally burst out.

Riddler frowned at her.  Instead of the fear he expected, her voice was incredulous and angry. “That’s the question, if you can’t answer…”

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?  That’s not a… You’re the Riddler.  That’s not a riddle!  That’s a… are you okay?  Like, seriously.  Are you okay?  Because I think… You know what?”  She took a deep steadying breath.  She opened her eyes to give him a serious look, completely devoid of fear, leaning more towards concerned.  

“I think you need a break.  I think you need to take a bit of time to reassess, refocus, and recenter yourself.  Then you can come back and be the Riddler I know you can be.  Because this,” she tried to motion toward him, “this is not it. That is... that isn't a riddle!  That's trivia!  You inaccurately named, evil Alex Trebek!  This would be a perfect opportunity to say I’m in Jeopardy, clueless asshole. So disappointed right now.”  She shook her head in disappointment, refusing to even look at him.

Riddler seethed at her, his face turning red with anger.  “Look either answer the question or…”

“THAT’S EXACTLY THE PROBLEM!” she screamed at him. “It’s a question, not a riddle.  And you missed a golden opportunity to ask a follow up question and saying it’s Double Jeopardy.  You missed the obvious pun!  This is why I say you need to take a break.  This isn’t you.  You’re better than this, I know you are.  I’m just… I’m worried about your mental health.”  She gave him a concerned look.

“If you can’t answer…” he snapped at her.  He gripped and regripped his question staff menacingly, leaning toward her with a snarl.

Marinette rolled her eyes at the attempt at intimidation. “Of course I can answer.  I’m from Paris and you’re asking about Le Chat Noir? Of course I know the answer.  Let me guess, your next question is about a ladybug,” she chirped, widening her eyes with false excitement.

Her face dropped the false sweetness and turned back into an aggravated frown.  “That’s not the fucking point.  My point is you interrupted my fucking abomination of a night for this bullshit and you’re not even on top of your game.  So I not only get shoved into the spotlight, against my will, by people violating my and my parents’ privacy, forcing Mon… my father to ramp up plans for my introduction.  Making sure my family and I knew we weren’t safe and exposing me to this bullshit along with the other attempts on me since it happened.”

Her frown turned into a disgusted sneer.  “And I was actually afraid for a moment because I thought you were an akuma, but you’re really just an underprepared asshole. It’s insulting frankly.”

Riddler swung his question mark staff at her catching her across her cheek.  He grinned at the blood trickling down her cheek.  Marinette glared up at him but refused to let a grunt of pain pass her lips. “Next question, hopefully this one is more to your liking.”  His eyes took on a malevolent glint.

Marinette’s eyes flicked behind him.  He smirked at her inability to make eye contact any longer. “No,” she interrupted, a smirk forming on her own lips.  “It’s my turn.  I have one for you.  It’s actually in the form of a riddle, if you think you can handle that.”  The Riddler growled at her and moved closer to tower over her threateningly.  “What lights up the day with black against yellow yet lights up the night with yellow against black.  It brings hope to those who see it yet marks your demise.  What is it?”

Riddler narrowed his eyes at her and backed away to get some space while he thought.  He looked down for a second, searching the ground as though it might hold the answer for him.  He suddenly looked up, his eyes bright with realization.  “A signal!” he exclaimed, jumping with excitement.  His face suddenly fell realizing the words that passed his lips.  

He spun around just in time for Signal to punch him in the jaw.  Riddler stumbled back falling backward on his ass.  Signal stalked toward him, eskrima sticks out and ready.  He kept his eyes on Riddler but raised his voice so Marinette could hear him.  “You alright, Ma’am?”

“I’m fine.  Just pissed,” she grunted.  She focused on her bindings, trying to figure out a way to loosen them enough to get out.

Signal smirked and gave a short nod.  “Preying on young women again?  Not a good look for you.”

“Penguin and Scarecrow both tried and couldn’t get to her.  I did,” he said defiantly, his chest puffing out even as he was slumped on the floor. “Penguin got to the museum too early. Scarecrow got to the hotel too late. But me?  I plan better.”

“And got a verbal bitch slap the likes of which Gotham has never seen for your trouble.”  Signal shook his head in mock sympathy and regripped his sticks. “Publicly.”

Riddler sneered at Signal.  “It won’t happen again.”

“You’re damn right it won’t,” Marinette called from her seat.  She pointed at him threateningly with her now miraculously freed right hand.  “Next time I’ll do it physically too.”

Signal grinned proudly and snorted at her comment. Riddler growled before looking back up at Signal with an angry scowl.  “Looks like this show has come to an end.  But we’ll be back after a short break.”  He hit his staff hard on the ground and a gas started emitting from it, obscuring Signal’s view.  Signal backed away and rushed over to Marinette, uncertain if the gas was dangerous.

He pulled out a knife and quickly sliced through the remaining ropes and helped her get free.  “Can you walk?”

Marinette started sprinting toward the exit.  “I can do better than that,” she called over her shoulder.  “You just going to stand there and let the gas get you?”  Signal smirked and followed her out.

She grunted as her shoulder rammed into the doorframe when she miscalculated the distance.  She silently cursed how long it was taking her brain to recover from having been knocked out.  Now out of the room she stopped running and rubbed her head as if willing it to kick back into gear.

“You sure you’re okay?” Signal asked catching up to her.

Marinette couldn’t see his eyes under his mask but the bottom half of his face seemed to be contorted in concern.  She grumbled noncommittally in response and rubbed her shoulder.  She looked around them quickly.  “You sure this is a safe way out?  He has to have had help.  I don’t see him doing his own dirty work.”

Signal nodded.  “He did have help.  But, so do I.”  He nodded behind him.

Marinette craned her neck around him to look behind him. She cringed as she saw Red Hood kneeing someone in the face.  The goon fell limply to the ground, unconscious before he hit.  Red Hood looked up and ran over to them as soon as he spotted her.  “Pi… uh… pretty impressive mouth,” he stuttered.  He looked over her closely as he could without touching her.  His eyes zeroed in on her cheek.

Marinette stared at him for a few seconds missing the incredulous look Signal tried to give him.  “Um… thanks… I think.”  She blinked a few more times before frowning.  “Yeah, can we not talk about my mouth, please?”

Red Hood choked on nothing and shook his head, leaning away, as if trying to get away from the idea.  “I meant your att…” he shook his head again and looked back at her. “Not a problem.  Let’s never talk about it again.  Are you okay?  Did he hurt you anywhere else?”  His eyes scanned her again and stopped at her wrists.

Marinette rubbed her wrists self-consciously. “No…” she started.  “I mean!  No he didn’t hurt me anywhere else.  But I am okay,” she rushed out when she saw him tense up at her words.

“Where is he?” Red Hood growled, still staring at her wrists.

“Got away,” Signal answered.

Red hood rounded on him, his entire body tensed for a fight.  “What do you mean he got away?”

Marinette stepped between them and pushed Red Hood back gently.  “He released some kind of gas.  He got me out of there before we found out what it did.  Seems like a good move considering how he got me in the first place.”

Red Hood looked down at her for a second before looking up to Signal with a nod.  He remembered seeing the gas dissipating when they finally caught up to where she was taken.  It had looked like there was enough to knock out an entire city block.  Definitely overkill, but spoke to Riddler’s desperation to be the first to kidnap her.  “Idea which direction he went?”

Signal sighed a heavy sigh.  “I didn’t see which way he went but it had to be out the west side of the room, but that’s all I got.”

Red Hood nodded and touched his com.  “You got that?”  He paused for a moment listening to whatever was being said over his com.  “Yes, she’s fine.  A few rope burns and a cut on her cheek, but seems okay other than that.”

Signal nodded and laid a hand on her shoulder. “Do you have family we can call?”

Marinette shook her head absentmindedly, the strain of the night starting to hit.  “No, I can call my brother.  He’s probably terrified about me.”

Red Hood seemed to freeze.  “Just… the one brother?  You… aren’t you one of the Waynes?”

Marinette’s eyes widened and her face paled.  She plastered a smile on her face. “Right.  Yes.  Of course. I… I meant my one brother was with me at the time.  Yes. Yeah.  The Waynes are my family.  I’m a… I’m… Yeah, I’m a… Wayne,” she barely managed to get the word out of her mouth.  It felt wrong and foreign on her tongue.  She smiled wider at them.  “But you don’t… you don’t have to bother them.  They’re all busy.”

“Yeah, looking for you,” Red Hood answered back sharply.  “They’re the ones that called us.  They’re terrified right now.”

“I think they’d want to know,” Signal urged gently, his voice heartfelt and slightly pained.

She let out a bitter scoff before she could stop herself.  She squeezed her eyes shut and mentally berated her still drugged mind for letting that slip out.  “I meant,” she started loudly, “I’ll inform someone.  They’d want to… hear it from me,” she finished quietly.

Red Hood took a breath and moved closer to her, gently resting his hands on her shoulders.  “I promise you, they’re worried about you and they would want to know. They’d want to make sure you’re okay. They’d want to make sure you feel safe. They would want to protect you. In fact, I’d expect to see a lot more of them over the next few days.”

Marinette opened her mouth to answer but got interrupted by the police breaking into the room.  Marinette pursed her lips and seemed to let a calm come over her.  Red Hood looked harder at her change as the police led her off to take her statement.  No, it wasn’t calm.  It was a numbness, an absence of any feelings.  His face contorted into a scowl.  Exactly what Adrien had described.  “You get that,” Red Hood snapped into his com.  He waited a few seconds before shaking his head.  

“That’s a fool’s bet,” Signal scoffed.  “Of course she’s not going to.  She might send a text.  And even then I bet it won’t be much.”

Red Hood listened for a few more seconds before he shook his head again.  “I’m not taking that bet either.”  He watched as Adrien just stopped himself from tackling Marinette in his excitement to see her again.  After what looked like a worried conversation, he saw Adrien pull her into a tight hug and Marinette melt into it.  “We need to fix this and quick before B does anything else to completely destroy any chance we have,” Red Hood snarled.  He turned and started grappling away.  “I’m going rogue hunting.”

Chapter 17

Tags:

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[unknownstarrl]

Some info about my Yuu/MC, student #9(Beta)

made in: picrew

Name: Morela Hill

Kanji: モレラ•ヒル

Romaji: Morera Hiru

Quote: "Me? A princess!? Oh, no no no...you must be wrong! I am your f*cking worst nightmare!!!!"

"I am no damsel in distress, I am a dragon in a dress"

“For once, I’m happy for someone else to take the credit. You were prepared to sacrifice your life to save me.”

V/A: Ashe <English>, Fujita Maiko <Japanese>

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Bicurious

Age: 16

Birthday: May 31st(Gemini♊)

Height: 169cm

Eyes color: maya blue(normal), golden(using magic)

Hair color: ink black

Dominant hand: right

Homeland: Japan(born), England(now)

Dorm: Ramshackle

Class: 1-A

Years: 1st

Power level: powerful

Nicknames: Yuna(Yuri), Morel(short name), Hill(NRC staff, Adeuce), Little prawn/Ebi-chan(Floyd), Young lady(Lilia), Alice(Chen'nya), Herbivore(Leona), Mademoiselle Sorcière(Meaning: Miss Witch - Rook), Maiden/Misstress(Vil, Silver), Angelfish(Azul), Hechwoman(Grim), Emrys/Merlyn(Malleus), Human(Sebek)

Occupation: NRC student, Vice dorm leader of Ramshackle, sorcerer's apprentice, Sorceress of Avalon, the Dragonlord, Artist

Club: none

Relatives: Unnamed parent✝️

Wilfred Hill(uncle/adoptive father)

Judie Hill-Williams (maternal aunt/adoptive mother)

Yuri Hill(twin)

Grim(partner)

Cupcake(pet)

Best subject: Astrology, History

Language:English(Old trade),Japanese,German, Dragon Language (inspired Lost in Translation, @twsty-lav Language Barrier Au)

Favourite foods: Carbonara, Coconut cream pie

Least favourite food: Fish

Hobbies: reading horror fiction, watch anime, play game with Idia, drawing, writing poem

Likes: magic, anime, games, food, meat, dog, black rose, lily flowers, thriller, black and red, disney, romantic poetry, karate, anything fluffy, violin, guitar

Dislikes: Crowley, bullies, someone hurt Yuri, toxic people/relationship, hexes, fish, NPCs in NRC, singing/dancing in front of everyone, Sebek (he's annoying)

Talents: Self-defense, Martial arts, Dragon language, Fairy language, Dancing, Singing, Drawing, Spell casting, Healing, Swordswoman, Sealing magic, Breaking the spells, Playing video games, Long range shooting(gun, bow, crossbow), Weapon summoning, Playing guitar

Magic iems: ring(amulet)

Weapon: sword, gun, bow, crossbow

Backstory:

Morela and her twin have had to depend on each other since childhood, their parent always fighting each other and they never gave any attention to the twin. Their father was barely at home and their mother was always drunk. Sometimes the mother beat up the twins for very small things, so they had a lot of bruises on their bodies. When Morela and Yuri were 10 years old, their father died because of car accident, their mother was very happy thinking she would be able to take all of her husband's money so she went to the bar and had fun with the celebratory party but she was got robbed and killed on the way back home. The twin were forced to move to live with their uncle in England. In here, they had known that their uncle is a wizard, they were taught magic and also changed their last name to his uncle's surname-Hill

While walking around the house, the twin accidentally discovered a secret room that their uncle didn't tell them. It was a room with nothing but a strange mirror hanging on a wall covered with a cloth. Because of curiosity, the twin removed the cloth and……The twin' journey begin here.

Personality:

Morela is pretty grumpy person and kinda rude when talking to someone she doesn't like. She doesn't like to socialize with strangers and prefer stay at home and play video game than going outside. Morela really love her brother, she won't let anyone harm her twin. Morela is also an impatient person, if she waits something too long, she will give up and go home

Trivia:

Her name "Morela" meaning "apricot" in Polish

Her Japanese name was Yuna but after moved to England, she changes her name to "Morela"

Morela was born 5 minute before Yuri

Morela represents "Magic" - half of Merlin's soul

Morela loves drawing, her paintings often have sad themes

Morela had a friend name Aera but she passed away because of cancer

The magic the twins use aren't the same as Twisted Wonderland's magic, so the Dark Mirror couldn't sense anything ( that makes everyone think that the twin don't have magic)

Morela won't use her magic unless there's an emergency

Unlike her twin, Morela can control her magic quite well and she can use magic with her hands instead of using wand.

Because Crowley was too gracious, he refused to provide money for the twin, Morela have to draw pictures and sell them on Magicam to buy personal items and tuna for Grim

Morela also has a tattoo on her nape

Funfact:

When the twin were young, they used to fan of disney so when they look at the Great Seven, they always feel familiar

Morela accidentally used fire magic and almost burned down her uncle' library

Morela is really powerful that she can break Riddle's Unique Magic and unaffected by Jade and Jamil's Unique Magic

Like Yuri, Morela was hated by everyone at first and they thought she used dirty tricks to get enroll in the school.

Because of "beast tamed", all students are more friendly with twin

Morela and Yuri often comes to Ignihyde to play video game and watch anime with Idia

Morela often talk to her twin by English (Old trade) when they are alone or whispering

All dormitories want the twin are member of their dorm but they always refuse

Crowley want to adopted the twin but they refuse (of course)

Morela and Yuri prefer Crewel than Crowley

Only few people in NRC know the twin have magic ( all playable characters and Crowley, Crewel)

Morela tired of Crowley and NRC bullsh*t

When Morela use magic:

[a-tale-of-legends]

Me? Talking about my headcanons for Canon characters? More likely than you think.

Lol, but really ever since my last post about the adults/ champions in the pokemon series, I've been feeling a I could do some out of pocket headcanons. Whether it's in terms of character, plot, relation to my oc's etc. Since I don't want this post to be super long, I'll simply do one group at a time. This group is the Kalos gang, cause I realized they deserve better. The villains will be a different post cause this will be long.

Shauna

16 in XY and is 22 in SwSh.

Bisexual

Childhood friends with Dante, meet Tierno and Trevor in trainer school.

Looks up to Diantha a lot. Both in her job as an actress and as a strong battler. ( Low-key her celebrity crush)

I want pokemon contest/performances to exist in Kalos, so both her and Tierno have fun with that. Given how she didn't know what she wanted to do during XY, I feel like she would try it during her journey.

Plays a bigger role in terms of both Jude's and Dante's arc. Her kindness and wanting to see the best in people pushes Jude to be a better person, and for Dante to question his actions.

Honestly??? A scene with her and Lysandre pre everything going down would be very interesting 👀

Spends a lot of time with Clemont, given her interest in puzzles.

Accidentally found a venausarite not knowing what it was. Fast forward and when her venasuar is in trouble, and her love and compassion for her pokemon causes her mega stone to activate and her Venasuar to evolve. Why? CAUSE SHE DESERVES IT.

Also she gets a venasuar. Dante gets Blastoise.

She makes excellent poke puffs.

Tierno

Same age as Jude and Dante

LET THE BOY HAVE HIS POKEMON CONTESTS/PERFORMANCES

Like Shauna and is generally more optimistic. But also more grounded.

Meet Dante in a dance class. They quickly bonded then.

Given how he and Trevor both went to give the starters on behalf of Sycamore, I feel like he probably used to be an intern.

Ironically is tied for most experience with pokemon with Dante( Tierno was already a trainer with Corphish.)

In terms of main plot, I feel like( other than Shauna) he would probably know a lot of people through the contests he enter. He might have run into Team Flare grunts there.

He looks out for Trevor and Shauna. More so Trevor with how skittish he is.

Despite his best I feel like he would be quick to give up on Jude, in terms of friendship. Like he'll be nice, but he's not gonna sit there and just talk dismissive comments and disinterest. Tbh, he sees right through them. It's only after everything goes down and Jude apologizes is when he makes an attempt.

Trevor

Same age as Shauna, but is older by a few months

I feel like a good arc for him in the game is to become more confident in himself and his abilities. He's not the best trainer, but he should be confident in what he has and what he can do.

Jude doesn't really help with that, but they don't really push him about it either.

Since Tierno might act like an informant, Trevor would do actual research. Though Sycamore would rather have him not to, given how dangerous the situation is getting.

But Trevor is stubborn and wants to help so he's gonna do that research.

Trevor actually forgives Jude a lot quicker like Shauna, though in terms of relationships, there is still lots to atone for.

He's the pokemon trivia expert!

Very logical in his thinking, though his skittish nature tends to hinder than sometimes.

Often leans on Tierno

He wears glasses :3

His parents aren't there much, so he was very used to it only being him and his sister. After befriending the gang, he got attached really quick. So it really worried him when Dante started acting....distant.

Sycamore

34 in XY. Why? Because he's Diantha's twin and I made a whole thing about all the champion ages in my pokeverse.

Bi

Was dating Lysandre before..... everything.

Tried to hide it for the sake of professionalism in front of the kids, but the fucking knew.

Was the first to notice Lysandre's decent. He was becoming more distant. He was always mumbling about.....something. ' A more beautiful world'

When Lysandre did ever open about his thoughts, Sycamore tried to be both encouraging but also just. Push back his ideas. Gently of course, he didn't want to hurt his beloved.

Though looking back now, he realizes by that point, Lysandre was in to deep.

When the news about Team Flare first broke out he had a hunch. But he hated that hunch and chose to ignore it. Until A) Diantha calling him about her investigations and B) the kids getting involved. Especially Dante. Knowing the truth broke his heart.

When it came to the kids themselves, out of all of them, he knew Dante the most.

Dante's mother and him go way back( even Lysandre knew her) and soon enough became a family friend. In Dante's youth, he would call him Uncle, a title Sycamore wore boldly.

So hearing that his nephew was acting strange ( he started collecting mega stones for some reason, which usually Sycamore would be ecstatic for, but again something was off).

And unlike Lysandre, there wasn't any concrete proof of him working for Team Flare. But again, Lysandre had a hunch and this time he wasn't going to ignore it.

They had a confrontation. It didn't end well.

As for his relationship with Jude, it's surprisingly playful.

Any jab/ dismissive that Jude throws at him was turned around into a light hearted joke. Always.

Soon enough Jude's rough exterior would break when having conversations with him.

He never knew about Jude's powers until a frantic call from them from Route 17 about everything hurting and getting a massive sensory overload and dear Arcues he came running.

This whole thing is getting really long, so I might just go more into Sycamore in another post.

Diantha

34( SYCAMORE TWIIIIINNSS)

Also Bi

HAS A MORE ACTIVE ROLE CAUSE SHE FUCKING DESERVES IT.

NO REALLY LIKE WTF GAME DIANTHA

Ahem

Given her being both an actress and a champion she's very busy. But handling team flare is part of her duty's as champion so yeah she's getting involved.

Given how team flare kinda controls the flow of information, it is REALLY hard to get concrete evidence of literally anything .

So while she was able to get information that Lysandre was the head boss, it was by a sliver. She did not know about Malva until Malva herself ambushed her.

Which really hurt cause the two were dating.

Yes I am doing this. The twins have similar poor taste.

Anyway

As for the Elite Four, while she did want them to get involved (it's their job), they all decided to do it as discreetly as possible, given how much....presence each of them have. So bascically they went undercover, like how Sena and Dexio where. I- I have no idea what to do with those two since I bascically made the E4 and Diantha kinda steal there role, but whatever.

Though it all went to shit because, again, Malva.

So to the public( even Sycamore, who only knew about Lysandre) the league was doing nothing. Which was great in theory, but again. Malva.

After everything was said and done. Diantha broke up with Malva and booted her off the E4. And got her arrested. Well tried to, she went into hiding. But they'll get her eventually.

All of that really hurt but bitch she's not dating someone who wanted to commit mass genocide but also eternal life.

She has standards. Like Cynthia.

As for who replaces Malva, no clue. Might have to make an oc, but if anyone had ideas, please tell me.

I didn't go into her relationship with Sycamore cause I was too deep in lore, so I will just say: don't be fooled by their pretty face, they're both goofs.

They make bad puns on the daily.

Ever since Sycamore discovered fairy types/ made it an official typing, Diantha was like " I'm gonna support you so hard that it's literally my brand"

Knows Cynthia through Sycamore ( also, y'know, champions).

This should have been in the sycamore section but it was filled with lore, so Sycamore and Cynthia used to have this weird rivalry as Prof.Rowans students. Rowan found in endearing, but also didn't give a shit, especially wHEN THEY WERE SLAKING OFF.

But yeah, after that they became really good friends. Did they date? Who knows.

But yeah, she's friends with Cynthia.

I can't really say much about her relationship with the kids, especially due to constantly being undercover. Afterwards is a bit different, but this post is already long.

But yeah Diantha deserves better and she's amazing no I will not be taking criticism :)

[ulv-bie]

Alrighty (headcanons below)

+ firstly note: I headcanon them as silly roommates who sit 4 feet apart or less

Starting with the basics, SCC.

Sweet:

- Real/Full Name : Bitmap Byte Rorator

- He/They

- 16

- 4’2

- Has an older brother named Modem, hasn’t seen him or their parents in years

Sweet is a hide and seek champion. They used to hide in small places as a kid just for the fun of it.

He’s friends with the Addisons. He and his brother used to volunteer in their shops during school breaks

Sweet likes to take walks and cook, but they also enjoy making things. Little gadgets, full on machines, anything that can assist their day to day life.

As a kid, his house wasn’t fully functional. The lights barely worked and there were loose wires everywhere. He and the Blue Addison worked together to fix it one day, and that’s how they discovered his interest with electronics.

They met Cap’n one day in the trash dump. Cap had tripped over some boxes that he didn’t notice, and Sweet helped him up. They immediately became best friends, and Sweet helped them navigate the city.

The two met K_K after he fell through their roof. They were hiding from Queen and the Swatchlings, so Sweet and Cap’n let them stay.

Sweet’s favorite food is cookies. His favorite colors are orange and purple

Born and raised in Cyber City

Cap’n:

- Real/Full Name: Captain Ykate-Bridge

- He/They/It

- 15

- 4’10

- He doesn’t have ‘parents’, but the people who raised them are named Kat and Chell-See.

Cap’n isn’t good at typical games. Most board games, card games, etc. He always manages to get unlucky, and has never won a game against Sweet or K_K. They are good at logic puzzles, however. They’re great with numbers and riddles. Trivia games, sudoku, scrabble, and more. K_K and Sweet dread the days Cap’n gets to pick what game they play.

They aren’t that social with the citizens of Cyber City. It’s less a fear of socialization than it is ‘what if they tell my parents I’m here?’. It would probably be friends with Ambyu-Lance if they tried to hold a conversation.

Cap’n likes to write. Sometimes he’ll spend all day writing short stories and poetry, and sometimes they’ll even share them with Sweet. Other than that, they enjoy fixing things. He knows how to sew and use tools properly, which is useful for a clumsy trio.

With two scientist ‘parents’, he was often left alone. Out of boredom, Cap decided to learn how to fix various things around the house (door hinges, floorboards, etc.) through trial and error. It had a natural talent when dealing with wires, thankfully.

[Edit: forgot to add this in before!] Cap, new to the city, was looking around for a place to stay. With blurred eyes he saw someone. Whoever this was, they were intent on meeting them. It tripped over boxes that it couldn’t see, but still managed to make a friend.

K_K saved Cap’n from losing Go-Fish against Sweet. It was a small thing, but Cap is extremely thankful. (Don’t tell the others, but sometimes cap gets a bit jealous of k_k.)

Cap doesn’t have a favorite food, but he has a favorite color. (It’s blue. They’ll write an essay on why, they’ll even bring up old history about the color just to convince you it’s the best.)

Born and raised in Techno Town, moved to Cyber City at age 14

K_K:

- Real/Full Name: Cakes Pop-Swatch

- They/He

- 16

- 6’0

- Made by Queen, but raised by Swatch and the Swatchlings.

K_K is great at card games specifically. They’re decent at board games, but an absolute legend with cards. They end up with the best hand, the best luck, and they always have the best strategy. He’s no longer allowed to play War.

K_K gets along very well with Tasques. Sweet and Cap’n are still trying to figure out how and why.

As their name suggests, yes, they like baking. Cookies, cake, bagels, and sometimes even pie. They also bake jello. You’re not supposed to put it in the oven, but they do. Other than that, they love making short tunes.

Among the many skills the Swatchlings taught him, cooking had to be the most useful. Mostly since no one really needs to know how to make a Jenga tower out of shoes..

One night, K_K gathered up all of their courage. They hopped out of a window and ran as far as they could. They were determined not to let the following Swatchlings catch up. K_K hid on a bridge type thing a bit above ground, but slipped and ended up gaining two best friends.

K_K likes any baked food, but they also enjoy food that Cap n Sweet make. It doesn’t have to be good, but they’ll eat it anyway. His favorite colors are red, yellow, and blue.

Born and raised in Queen’s Mansion, Cyber City.

Various Headcanons:

Cap’s hat and bandana were both gifts from Sweet. In return, Cap’n have him a hat as well. Now they match.

K_K is the one who made the basic design for Cap’n’s glasses, but Sweet is the one who made it (with the help of the Addisons)

They live in Sweet’s house, their shop is a separate building. That being said, the house has very small door frames. Poor K_K.

K_K has a slight British accent, but it changed which specific part it’s from constantly.

Cap’n has a heavy country accent. When he was introducing himself to Sweet, they said the simple “My name is Cap’n.” Sweet, confused, went “..Captain?” (It actually is Captain, but they’ve never been around anyone who pronounced it fully.)

There’s.. a lot of secret crushing going on between these guys. Cap’n is the most obvious. Sweet is the most oblivious. K_K is the complete opposite of both.

Handwriting and Drawing analysis section:

Sweet’s handwriting is very curled/loopy and ‘sweet’. It copies a few letters from cursive handwriting, and the ‘i’s are inconsistent. Sweet doesn’t write a lot, nor do they try to. They’re more of a ‘think, then do’ than ‘think, plan out, then do’ guy.

He does not know how to draw. It’s all stick figures. A single square box with a line.

Cap’n copies a lot of letters from K_K and Sweet. They like the curled letters from Sweet, he thinks it makes him sound fancy. The bold letters are taken from K_K because he wants to stand out a bit. It also writes letters close together and just almost curls their ‘g’s. (Also note: Cap writes large to make people think he writes a lot.)

He can only draw headshots. He’s tried bodies, but they always look wonky. He always draws themself with a smug smile.

K_K has very bold and ‘silly’ handwriting. Bold, bouncy letters, circle ‘lollipop’ ‘i’s, smiles in the loops and circles, etc. K_K writes a lot, they just have a lot to say! And they want people to read it, so he spaces the letters out a bit.

K_K is very expressive with his way of drawing. Adding little emotes to their sentences and inside their letters is a habit of theirs. He draws himself with eyelashes (..which he does not have.).

[wssebastian]

well , well , well . . . would you look at what the cat dragged in ! ╰(◡‿◡✿╰)  umm quick story i was here a v short time before with the always lovely oh haeil c: i loved him sm but i’m sure no one even remembers him atp HAHA anywho life got wayyy too crazy but i’m in a much better place now !! so i’d like to reintroduce myself - i’m jada and it’s very nice to meet you all !! i’m coming to you with a muuuch different muse, sebastian kang , meta’s walking , drumming . . . trainwreck ! despite him being a p messy muse , i put a lot of time into him so i hope u enjoy !! i have some lovely friends here and i’m so excited to be back, so pls like this if you’d like to plot !! otherwiiiise here’s my profile , plots page, bio , and below you can find trivia !! pheeew lot of words so sorry but let’s get to it !!

background !!

just a general note i did a lot of freewriting for him before creating him officially, so some of that will be copied from the free write <33 i’m saying this bc if you see something written overly casual / conversational ,,, you’ll know why besties lol

born in auckland, new zealand, into an older family who had no kids. both his parents were engineers who didn’t feel they had time for kids, couldn’t get pregnant so kinda gave up ? until v late into their careers when they v shockingly got pregnant, mom was a whole 45 when sebastian was born and dad was a whole 50 !!!

he was seen as a legitimate miracle baby, his parents thought he was a precious child who couldn’t be harmed by society ! which i get but like .... ok they took it too far lol. it wasn’t even that bad until one day sebastian thought it’d be a great idea to chase a fucking balloon into the bird exhibit at the zoo, got lost on his way there, and boy his parents FLIPPED

his mom especially paaanicked, he was lost for hours bc he hid & they thought they’d loss their precious son forever. she literally took him and never has really been the same since, vowed since that day she would homeschool and well … she did !

so sebastian was raised homeschooled & pretty isolated which is … eh. like if a kid would talk to baby him they’d lowkey be like “wtf are u talking about??” bc he was constantly between talking like a kid tv show character and a boomer because tbh those were his only influences growing up

sidenote to all my homeschooled gang pls i know all our parents were not like this LMAO i am aware as i was homeschooled for a while however the kangs are a ... special case

sebastian’s dad only has partial hearing in his left ear , so he grew up bilingual in english & new zealand sign language as it’s how he primarily communicates when at home w his father. his first exposure to music was actually through him tho, as his dad and mom both loved funk rock of the 70′s & 80′s. his dad would always say that he loved despite being hard of hearing, he loved he could still feel  the instruments in his chest and that really stuck w sebastian from then on !!

his parents felt kinda bad for not having him in school tho so they did let him try out all different types of lessons, so growing up picked up hobbies such as gardening, baking, origami, etc. but the main ones that stuck were writing and drum lessons ! fun fact his parents only let him play drums once thinking it wouldn’t stick but kinda hated it did, from then on he begged and begged for a chance to play and they kinda just looked at him LMAO. yeahhh it took him a whole year but he finally got his first drum set and was hooked !! named his drum set mila after his celebrity crush mila kunis omg ....

anywho time skip he felt really detatched from korean culture, spoke baaaare minimum korean only to like, wish his grandma happy chuseok. so at around 16 he started gaining an interest in his culture ?? and around the same time he got into online video games bc well ... it made him feel like he had friends ? u know how this story goes, meta meets and decides to meet in person !!

but well before flying out to korea him & his parents had a huuuge fight. they were against the idea of him going out on his own, but he was an adult now so he was v stubborn !! they had a huge falling out and it caused a v uncomfy rift for a vlong time they’re just recently getting over 

also funny story - the whole time sebastian was playing video games w meta online he felt pressured to be some mysterious foreigner even tho literally no one asked ?? but the second they met in person he was socially awkward 2000x and it was pretty obvious he was fronting ?? long story short meta saw through his shit p easily and it took a loooong glow up process for him to actually be charismatic , like he is now !

personality

ok phew. onto the fun stuff !! now sebastian has quite literally did a complete 180 compared to his younger self.  he often jokes that he was a born charmer who was raised by the wrong family. bc the second he was out of his parent’s grasp he flourished socially. 

nowadays his korean i would say is upper advanced. from the time he started meeting meta online to around 2018 he went SUPER hard trying to learn, and obv he learns by speaking it everyday. but after that he kind of took a more casual learning approach? he can convey most everything he wants to say but if it’s something that’s a little deeper sometimes it takes him a second to rearrange the sentence in his head and it really frustrates him. if u tell him a korean metaphor or like bigger word not used in common convo he might just kinda . . . blink at u HAHA

looooves meta. no,  i mean he looooooves meta. he feels so incredibly lucky to be in a band as he NEVER would’ve thought it was possible, they were honestly his first real friends so being able to make a career out of making good music w them ?? he’s honestly still in amazement today.

idk what was in that hongdae air but those first years in meta made him have a whole vibe switch ?? he let his hair grow out, took a lot of inspiration from hongdae street styles, and had a looot of practice talking to pretty people in clubs. he also got his first tattoos ! he felt like he had to play catch up on all those years he was just cooped up at home, so quite literally went c r a z y w the partying after a while.

i’m ngl he probably has a very real fear he got some random girl pregnant in seoul and she’s just waiting on meta to get bigger before dropping the news LMAOAOAO

the funny thing is basically since he arrived he’s been branded the “sexy foreigner” or something LMAO, and it’s p laughable to the rest of his members when they know how he used to be. like he’s charming now yes but there’s no denying he was iiincredibly awk to start off with. visibly cringes if they mention any old blackmail

ok but here’s where he gets a little messier. over the past few years fame has really been getting to his head ? meta isn’t even as big as some groups but truthfully sebastian already thinks he’s the shit and will say it out loud too ?? too many pretty people told him he was pretty too, now he’s honestly cocky and is starting to develop the mindset he “deserves” his lifestyle bc of his fame ?? yo meta PLSSSS actively humble tf out of this man !! he really needs it bc it’s just getting progressively worse

also alongside this, bc he’s in a band and not a traditional idol group he’s kinda developed this superiority complex ?? feels meta is “real music” or whatever so he can sometimes come off as a bit pretentious to traditional idols, esp the younger ones ?? though the more time he spends in wishbone the less he feels this is true, he’s slowly gaining respect after learning how brutal training is

ok but that brings me to ladybug. maaaan he loves ladybug. in fact when it comes to girls he is v much so the likes powerful woman who look like they can step on him vibe ?? lowkey a milf stan too ?? LMAO pls forgive me i’m just the messenger ok. all i’m trying to say is sebastian talks a lot of shit but somehow knows every line of ddd .... hmmm ??

ok i didn’t know where else to put this but people call him both sebastian and ian ?? you’ll prob mainly see me use sebastian for writing purposes, but irl the usage is 50 / 50 ? his parents & long-term friends mainly call him sebastian, tho his newer friends or the ones who just like ian call him ian ?? do what u want he has no preference !

u know i’m really grateful for jaewon being his fc because they literally take photos the EXACT same way ?? like his stans probably are on twt begging for just one normal photo bc everything he posts looks like this, this, this, or this LMAO ?? what can he say he likes a good blurry aesthetic !!

( smoking, drug & drinking tw ) he’s a drinker & smoker, as well as stamped off a v wide range of substances ? he wouldn’t say he has an addiction to anything but nicotine though. he started off with regular cigarettes but has ben transitioning to vaping recently. wishes he could at least smoke less but at this time doesn’t have much hope to do so

bc he didn't grow up in korea age heirarchy doesn’t really make sense to him ? he feels respect has to be earned, which can sometime create some drama ?? he’s not too afraid to challenge older ideas if he disagrees, but on that same token if they’ve done something impressive he has no problem giving respect to younger people ?

his concept isn’t too far off from his real persona ?? except in the public his flirty side is less nsfw player, more attainable charmer ?? despite not having a lot of action on stages, when interacting w fans he has a lot of fun teasing them within reason and has that whole “i’m your idol boyfriend” thing going on ?? frequently “marries” fans and likes to make them shy ! probably has had to be told to tone it down LMAO

on that note he also loves variety bc he loves to let people see a side of him they couldn’t through music, has no problem speaking up for quieter members if they don’t wanna talk ?? the kind of member to put the group tea on BLAST tho LMAO, think the whole seventeen insomnia-zero episode ???? like sir SHUT UP UR GONNA GET US FIRED

because he craves affection he’s constantly flirting and in situationships / hookup culture, but bc he’s a free spirit rn he doesn’t wanna be tied down ?? so u get ... a v flirty man who will give u everythig u need physically but will RUN at the sign of commitment

loooves the drums omg he’s on a whole different level on stage. uhh he can’t stop breaking drum sticks tho LMAO ! anyways his personal drum set is still named mila, except the one in korea is called mila 2.0 ? y’all i know he’s embarrassing let’s not ... anyways despite usually being in the back he has a lot of fun w his facial expressions, occasional solos, and just rocking w the songs bc he honestly loves their discography ?? is this me projecting the inner day6 stan in me listening to wanna go back as we speak ?? .....

music-wise, still v into funk rock ! but nowadays he prefers actually listening to hip hop & experimental pop ? but he’s still v much a fan of rock in general, and it’s his favorite kind of music to actually perform

career-wise, he’s pretty satisfied rn ! he honestly preferred the early days bc it was all so new and he had more freedom. but he can’t help but acknowledge how good of a deal they got, maintaining creative freedom while gaining financial security ?? he really loves songwriting, so hopes to do that even more, as well as mcing in the future !!

i think that’s all !! this is so much i know but i doubt i’m finished i’ll probably still add more LOLL. if u got this far tho seriously you’re an angel i’m so impressed thank u for listening to my rambling and giving sebastian a fair chance <33

[blazedrawsstuff]

Meet Avery Romero, the living glitch! Non-glitchy version below the "Read More"

Avery Romero

Child of an Programmer (Living Glitch)

Parent

A Programmer

Age

16. Well techincally I'm younger than that if we're going by how long it's been since I was created, but I was programmed to be 16 years old. 

Killer Style

Glitchcore and Scene.

Freaky Flaw

If there are two things that don't go together for me: my perfectionism and my clumsiness. I try so hard to be perfect, yet I just can't stop messing things up! It's too much pressure!

Pet

I have a computer bug...literally. I call them Minus. 

Favorite Activity

I play video games in my spare time (suprising, I know.). But you know what's just as good as playing games? Checking out what they got in the files and modifyfing their code, there's always some neat stuff in there. 

Pet Peeve

Magnets. For some reason whenever I'm near one, I just flinch and freeze up...

Favorite Subject

Computer Lab, favorite part of the class is the neat little coding games we get to play sometimes. 

Least Favorite Subject

Mad Science. Me and fragile equipment don't mesh together...

Favorite Color

Neon pink, blue, and green. 

Favorite Food

Spookghetti! Especially with Scarbonara sauce and freakballs.

Friends

Viris Wideweb (OC) Riley Innsmouth (OC) Ghoulia Yelps Kjersti Trollson

Abilities

Teleportation

Avery can teleport themselves in a small area of range, similar to Vanellope from Wreck it Ralph

"No-clipping" (Intangibility)

Avery can phase through solid objects

Skillset

Programming/Coding

As the child of a programmer, Avery was taught how to program and code. 

Personality

Avery is a sweetheart, if a rather clumsy and insecure one. Avery's insecurity stems from the circumstances behind their birth, due to being the result of a glitch in an attempt to program an artificial living being by their parent. Another part of their insecurity comes from their apperance, which is consdered "abnormal' due to their glitchiness. As a result they sometimes tend to self deprecate themselves.

Avery is also clumsy, or at the very least accident prone, likely due to the irratic movements they sometimes experience from their glitchy nature. This also feeds into their insecurities and clashes with their perfectionism. They desire perfection, yet have difficulty reaching said standard, and thus tends to beat themselves up for it

That's not to say Avery doesn't have good points. As mentioned before, Avery is a sweetheart, and tries their best to be helpful in spite of their clumsiness. 

Trivia/Additional Information

Avery's first name references Microsoft's Avery Wizard while their last name references John Romero, programmer, designer and developer of games such as the original Doom, Quake, and Wolfenstein 3D. 

Their pet computer bug's name; Minus is a reference to the Minus World, an infamous glitched/scrapped world from Super Mario Bros. 

Their favorite food being spaghetti is a reference to the term "spaghetti code", a phase used to describe unstructed and difficult-to-maintain source code.

Avery's pupils are based on the icon of error pop-ups of Windows XP computers. 

Avery's headcanon VA is Analesa Fisher, who voiced Snow Sugar Cookie in Cookie Run Kingdom. 

Their birthday is September 9th, the day when the first computer bug was found by Grace Murray Hopper of the United States Navy. This makes them a Virgo.