#I was honestly expecting to never see it again
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Hit the nail on the head.
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But now that I've thought about it more I want to go back to Jayce's line "Which is worse? Killed or expelled?"
Because the fact that he wrote that when he was stuck and unable to move forward I think shows that he wasn't going to pull out of the spiral on his own. Stopping working on hextech was never an option for him.
He saw his options as "keep working getting nowhere until your grades drop further and you get expelled" OR "push too hard now and potentially end up dead."
And he was wondering if getting killed by his invention would be better.
So that's what I mean when I say "concerning thoughts" because if that's what that means then he already showed signs of suicidal ideation.
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Honestly, you might be right about the reason why Jayce was written more like Giopara in the journal despite it being written for Arcane, it’s very plausible.
But I will say this:
And this is pure conjecture for the most part...
To me ACT 1 Jayce did seem to act more abrasive, quick to be offended, and generally more “I will bend other people to my opinion because I’m right and they’re wrong even if it is illegal.” than he did in most of ACT 2 &3.
Like when he tells off Ximena off for not believing in him and was convinced if he kept talking he could have forced the council to see his side of things.
Or how he goes to the Kirammin’s expecting help after being kicked not even realizing he basically spat in their face by not accepting their attempt to get him off with a smack on the wrist and how he put them in a bad light just by associating them with magic and his illegal activities.
And I can see why logically feeling like you are backed in a corner like his character was hiding his work you would grow jealous and paranoid, and closed off enough to the point of putting others down even if in a normal headspace you wouldn’t.
I feel like the experience of being kicked out of the academy and having to face that he couldn't actually force people to see his side and/OR just having Viktor (a presence that was supportive but not a pushover that he didn’t have to treat like a potential threat to his goals) could have been what mellowed him out.
Also I think Jayce not seeing others clearly could play into the themes of isolation we later see with Viktor, that Jayce while isolated, found himself in a way of thinking that really diminished the importance of other people.
But then again I like trying to weave lose ends in writing together. So take everything I say with a grain of salt.
TW: Talk about mental health and sui ideation and sui attempt
I feel the need to talk more about Jayce's "attempt" again because of what I learned from his journal in the "Council Archives"
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There's a fair argument to be made that Jayce was already in a very bad headspace even BEFORE the explosion in his apartment.
I you read Jayce's journals it feels like Jayce was ALREADY spiraling before he got kicked out of the academy. For a few reasons.
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1.Jayce was very isolated to begin with.
He was working on experiments he knew were illegal and was so paranoid about being found out he started coming up with insults to call another student who almost caught him throwing away a failed experiment.
He also seemed to only be able to cheer himself up by talking shit about other people's work and how everyone else just couldn't measure up to how important his work was and would be. And when he finally meets Viktor he talks about never really thinking he'd take to working with another scientist.
(Honestly, pre-act 1 Jayce comes off a little more like his LOL counterpart which make me believe Arcane Jayce meeting and working with Viktor as early as he did is what helped make him the version of himself he is in Arcane?)
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2. Jayce was not really sleeping and his schoolwork and grades were going downhill.
He talks in his journal about the fact that he's not getting to sleep until sunrise a lot of nights because he was trying and failing to make the crystals work.
And as a direct consequence of not sleeping he talks about Heimerdinger (the DEAN) having to come talk to him because his grades are slipping.
Jayce literally decides to make a graph correlating his lack of sleep to his poor academic performance.
(Later he expresses concern that he might get expelled from the academy because his work is slipping that badly).
And remember all the while when he is so sleep-deprived he can't focus on coursework he it FULLY CONVINCED he can figure out Hextech. You know a whole new field of study. It doesn't work, shockingly.
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3. Ximena was already worried about Jayce wellbeing and trying to get him to go outside and be around others.
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He eats some snacks insults some people's work to himself and then goes back to doing what he was doing.
Not a lot to talk about with this one except it's no wonder she tried to get him to back off magic if she could already tell he wasn't okay especially when we consider the state he was in at that point.
You also see that both his mother and Heimerdinger were expressing valid concern for him only for him to brush it off.
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4. Near the end of the journal entries before we get to the ACT 1 content he says some concerning things considering his later attempt on his life.
First he starts to doubt what he's getting anywhere he remembers something Heimdinger once said about most inventors failing a 1000 times before succeeding and he makes a self-deprecating joke about "I suppose I must be closing in...".
Then he straight up says he can't see a path forward.
And when makes a pros and cons list of his experiments where he talks about how the work with the crystals is very dangerous and if he pushes to much it could kill him but also how he's in danger of getting expelled if he can't sort out his schoolwork.
and then he writes.
"Which is worse? Killed or expelled?"
Which is certainly a Harry Potter reference but also given his eventual attempt is very telling.
And it's closely followed by him saying his mom was worried about him, which... seems valid.
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Also on a side note unrelated to the journal entries.
Jayce's attempt was not a choice made suddenly in a rush of emotion like Viktor's, he planned it.
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Jayce not only left what was implied to be a suicide note he took the methodical time to literally WAX SEAL the note with his official house mark. And it took Viktor a long long while of talking to him to get him to back away from the ledge. He was fully committed to committing.
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Final thoughts: I think Jayce was in a place in his mind backed into a corner.
He wasn't able to reach out for help or even trust anyone because of the nature of his work. He wasn't listening to people that were concerned about him. And the way in which Jayce was doing his work was damaging to himself and his life in general. He was spiraling.
He needed someone else there to share the weight of what he was trying to do, to be able to reach out to outside of his own head which was the person Viktor became to him.
Part of me even wonders if Jayce was already in a place where he might have ended up on that ledge without the explosion if he didn't change his ways or have a sudden breakthrough.
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booigi-boi · 2 days ago
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How my video chat with the Tin Can Bros went 🐐💛
I got to talk to the three of them separately with a special guest (James and Mariah) so I'll put this into three sections (writing this down mostly for my awful memory, gonna be long)
Brian and James
First thing Brian said when the call started was "have you gotten any new tattoos since the last time we saw you?" A: No :(
He and James asked about Finland and what it is like
I was asked something about what is my fav thing about Finland (minus sauna) and I said the nature. I told them to visit northern Finland both during summer and winter cause the nature is fucking amazing, ok? They googled it and James said he's putting it on his list, lol
Brian asked while googling if I've ever been to the Snow Castle in Kemi, and I laughed a little and said I was actually born there so yeah, I've been there multiple times
I was also asked if there's something I'd like the rest of the world to know about Finland
I answered how I hate how other countries have turned saunas into a luxury item, when in Finland literally every house and apartment building has a sauna. Also told them the correct way to pronounce sauna
James asked me how I learned about TCB. Said I discovered SK in mid 2018 and somehow figured TCB was also a thing. He also asked how I got into Shipwrecked, and to that I just said Spies Are Forever. Brian nodded and said "they're cool"
(Honestly, I'm leaving so much out cause we really just talked about my country and how happy it is, lol)
Corey and Mariah
Brian and James left for another call once Corey and Mariah joined (I didn't expect them to do this call like this tbh /neutral)
Mariah was excited about the fact I'm Finnish, she was enjoying meeting people all over the world
Corey asked if I had any questions for them and I had to admit I suck at asking questions and never know what to say (he was cool with my child brain)
Mariah said she had so many questions she would have liked to ask me. She really liked looking at the wall behind me and seeing all the shit I have on there
Then my cat decided she wanted attention and hopped on the table and made herself known to them. Told them she was Lotta and she's 14
After a while Corey asked me what my fav project from the Tinlightenment was, and I said I've been most excited for Gross Prophets. Corey revealed it's going to be difficult to rehears it without an audience and it's apparently super silly (in a good way)
Before they left Mariah asked me what was my fav movie or musical or anything so she could get to know what I'm all about, so I excitedly told her about Tetsuo the Iron Man (more about this later)
Then Joey joined all alone and it was time for Corey and Mariah to leave
Joey
Joey didn't have a guest with him so it was just me and him on a call together. He complimented my long ass vampire nails
He heard us talking about movies and asked me about it, so I said how Mariah asked me about my fav movie
He got a little excited and asked me about it, so I told him about Tetsuo, and how it's one of those movies that you're either going to love cause how artistic it is, or say wtf did I just watch
He got intrigued and googled it and read its description. He was interested (pls google it)
He read reviews and said how it's either 5 stars or 1 star, and I told him it is very 50/50
He put it on his list and promised to tell me once he had watched it :3 (hopefully not on discord cause I don't use it, lol)
Then before time was up, he asked me about my hospital stay last year (which I didn't talk about publicly and he was one of the few people that knew about it). It was kinda nice of him to ask about it and ask if I was good now (I am)
One last thing he asked about before he had to leave was if I was going to the new Starkid concert this year, and I said no, unfortunately. Maybe he was little saddened about it, but he told me last year wasn't that long ago and we might see each other again at some point
Then he wished me a good rest of the day and told me we'd see each other soon (next month when I again embarrass myself in Quiplash)
One last note, but I was kinda surprised how Joey didn't apologise to me for the 100th time for something he promised me back in 2023 and still hasn't done it, especially since he seems to apologise about it any time we have an interaction, lol (but I'll talk about it more when that happens, shhh)
Sorry if it was all so long, but I did leave out stuff too, sksks. Honestly, I kinda needed this, it was nice talking to people and they're all so easy to talk to 💞 James and Mariah were a nice surprise, can't wait for Gross Prophets 👉👈
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azaharinflames · 2 days ago
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Curently 911 is filming episode 11 & 12, and Lou is working on another project. There's no way he's working on 9-1-1 at the same time. LA traffic alone wouldn't allow it.
I thought I have prepared my heart for the possibility of Bucktommy not going back together again. But a new affirmative sign like this still hurts me a little 😔.
Hi, Nonnie!
Listen, I get it. But in my honest opinion? Lou was never gonna come back in the first eps of 8b. We know 9&10 are mostly going to deal with Maddie’s kidnapping and Tim has teased the end of ep 10 changes everyone’s life. Now, you can choose to be a bit skeptical about that part. I know I am.
Either way, we know post ep 10 there is a time jump. My personal theory is that it won’t be a super big one, rather it will be a natural time jump (to make it so what happens in the series happens at the same time as we watch it), and the first couple eps will be to establish some SLs.
Personal theory? We will see the rebound for Buck that Tim teased. I do believe it won’t last more than a couple eps. And then we’ll probably have Buck exploring or trying to get to know himself better. Boring and overused, but if they go in any other direction I will be genuinely surprised.
If/when Tommy comes back… honestly I don’t think it’ll be any earlier than at least midway through 8b, if not in the last couple of eps or even in the last one. Mostly so the audience is hooked for the next season but also because it wouldn’t make sense to make the audience go through the bs of 806-808 if things were going to be fine a few eps later.
We have to remember Tommy is not a main. Most likely, if Buck and he manage to find each other again, it will be something to mostly happen off-season, imo. As in, we will have a cute reunion on screen, then the season will end, then (perhaps based on the reaction idk) we’ll start the next season (if we get one) already with them having worked through their issues.
I know the idea of it sucks a bit but hey. They had Tarlos say their ILYs off-season. So. I wouldn’t be too surprised lmao.
(Also if he does not come back for this season, I honestly think he will only come back if they need a HEA for Buck once the series ends and Lou is available for that. Because imho they are not finding a LI that works better than him any time soon)
As for Lou’s filming schedule, I wouldn’t put too much weight on it. Mostly because we don’t know it. We don’t know if he’s mostly done with the sketch show, or if he only has to shoot 3 days a week, or what. Nothing tells us shooting that and shooting 911 is something impossible to combine.
And I don’t want to pretend I know something will happen, or give anyone false hope. I’m the first person who truly expects nothing from this show anymore and who knows chances are we will be disappointed, because the show has shown us we can’t trust it. Just wanted to point out some things ;)
Anyway, my inbox is open for venting, ranting, and giving your opinions! Physical therapy has been kicking my ass this week but I’ll try to be more present (don’t tear your meniscus, babes. I highly do not recommend)
Take care <3
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rahuratna · 1 day ago
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Bg3 spoilers below: some of my thoughts on character writing
So I just finished the Cazador mission, and ... I'm going to need to take a short break from playing, because wow, that was very emotional.
It sort of made me think about why Astarion is my favourite character, and what it is I see in him that sets him apart. When I started playing this game, I honestly thought I'd find him very annoying, lol. Famous last words 🤡
His character writing, while not perfect, is so riveting for me, and after this battle, I realise why. It's his tenacity, his determination to survive, the hope he somehow clings to even as his world is submerged in darkness, despair, pain, shame and futility.
While the player character plays a big role in helping him find peace once more, I'd like to think that he would eventually reach that by himself. Finding true autonomy is such a huge part of Astarion's story. While the mechanics of an RPG game make the player undeniably enmeshed in characters' decisions, it is obvious that Astarion makes huge progress in this area by himself, through simply thinking about things.
From a personal perspective, I identify with some aspects of his character very deeply. While the trauma Astarion experiences is very specific, to have undying hope, the desire to live that bursts through so powerfully in ways you don't expect from yourself, to face trauma and find painful, but necessary ways of dealing with it, are all things that resonate with me very strongly.
Most of all, his character gives me a feeling of bittersweet happiness. Depending on choices (I chose a Spawn Astarion ending) he may never be able to walk in sunlight again, but he is free of Cazador. My own life may be limited in a number of ways after surviving serious illness, but it doesn't mean that it can't be a full one.
Kudos to the writers of this game for giving us such great characters, who each of us might appreciate and identify with in so many different ways. 🧡🧡
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I like that Astarion keeps living for himself, even if his life will not be perfect. He tries his best, and that's worth something.
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astra-galaxie · 1 day ago
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Taking a Break
Hi everyone.
As you’ve probably guessed from the title, I am taking a break from the Criminal Case fandom. I’ll be gone for at least 2 weeks, maybe more if needed. While I’m gone, I will not be on any sites, at least not for CC-related reasons, updating any of my stories or posting new content on Tumblr. That means I won’t be checking notifications or even going on some platforms, and I will be leaving all the Discord servers I am in after posting this.
If you need to reach me (please don’t contact me about CC), I will occasionally check my direct messages on Discord.
2024 has so far been the worst year for my mental health, and to summarize how I feel in one sentence: I’m tired, and honestly, I have considered leaving CC more than once. I tried not to let my mental health affect my relationship with CC since it was like the light at the end of the tunnel for me. But with things calming down IRL, I’ve realized how straining CC was on my mental health and a person can only bend so much before they break, and I fear I will break if I do not step away…
I have been in the CC fandom for over 10 years, most of that time spent as a lurker and then as a writer who stayed in a little bubble isolated with my stories and rarely engaging with others. But over time, I came out of my bubble with the help of friends I made through CC and gained even more along the way. However, things have happened recently behind the scenes that are making me consider leaving the fandom, so it's time I take a break and focus on other things for a little while.
This is not goodbye forever. If you know me and my stories, you know my goal is to write every Criminal Case season from 1 to 8 (yes, I will be writing and hopefully improving City of Romance!). I’ve been at it for about 8 years, so I’m too far into things to give up!
But I have another goal, and no, I’m not referring to making headcanons for every CC character. It's to create a safe space for people to share their ideas, thoughts, and opinions without fearing ridicule. There is enough hate in the world, so why should I contribute to it when I can use my platform to be positive instead? It’s why, even when the idea might not be my cup of tea, or I might not understand parts of it, I still encourage people to pursue their ideas and focus on the good things. I hope people know that you can send me the craziest, crack-filled ideas (anonymously or not) and that I will do my best to give positive feedback.
I do give constructive feedback if people ask me to, but again, I’m no Goddess of Writing and Content Creation, so I would never expect people to take my words as gospel. I would never want people to feel they HAVE to change something in their creation just because I suggested it. I want people to be happy with THEIR work, just as I am with mine.
The biggest piece of advice I always give people when they ask for my help or opinion on their project(s) is to write about what makes you happy. While it is important to listen to feedback to learn what you can improve on, ultimately, YOU are the creator. YOU are putting in the time, effort and skills into the project, and if YOU are not happy with what you are creating, then you will lose interest in it. Create things you are happy and proud of. YOU are bringing your ideas to life and sharing them for others to enjoy, not the other way around.
You can never please everyone, but you can always please yourself.
But do NOT use that as an excuse to spam, rage bait, or terrorize others. Everyone is entitled to their likes and dislikes, but you should not force your opinions on others. If you see something you don’t like, just ignore/block it and keep scrolling. It takes much less time than writing a hate comment or making a call-out post. And while sometimes those are reasonably warranted, please still take the time to consider the repercussions of something before you post it and ask yourself: Is it really worth it?
If you’ve stuck with me this long, thank you for listening to my rambling.
Maybe it's naive or wishful thinking to hope people have learned from 2024 and will think before they post, but I hope at least some people will learn from their mistakes or those of others. I know I have learned from the mistakes I’ve made. I don’t think I’m perfect or anyone special because, at the end of the day, I’m just a writer who discovered a hobby for creating fanfiction when they were a teen and somehow gained a following of amazing fans and made fantastic friends along the way. I’m human and make mistakes, but it's from those mistakes that we grow and improve as people.
That said, I am signing off for now. My mental health is at rock bottom, and all I can focus on recently is negative. I keep thinking the worst of my writing and other content. All my mind has been telling me is that everything I make is terrible, and no one likes it. And while I know that is far from the truth, thanks to the amazing support and love I receive from all of you (shout out to everyone who keeps the CC fandom alive!) I must leave and stop focusing on everything before returning with a clear, more positive mindset.
I will see you all when I return. Will I not do anything CC related? Probably not, since you can take Astra out of CC, but you can't take CC out of Astra! But I will not be touching or even looking at my mainstream series while I’m gone, so don’t expect me to return with an update ready for it.
Thank you for listening.
Astra G.
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missmarveledsblog · 1 day ago
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I gotcha cap (Steve Rogers x reader) part three
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Summary: He needs to make it right but she isnt letting him even near her so he get help off of their friends .
warning : slight angst , fluffy , goofy , idiots in love , mutual pinning
previous part
the blinding sun that had instantly regretted not closing the blind before she hit went to bed. not knowing what hurt more was it her head that thump and felt like it was gonna explode . was it her pride on being stood up on her not date date . she may of snuck out of the room once was sure he was gone . headed to the living room , importantly using her ability to burn the lock off of the liquor cabinet. She didn't stay undetected for too long for Tony to come see what she was doing and then an hour later Natasha was joining them . Now she was sure her blood was more alcohol than it was actually blood, stumbling from her bed . Pulling the shades on her eyes she dragged herself from the bed , stumbling down the hall to the dinning room to see both Natasha and Tony in the same state as she was .
“ You're a bad influence” the billionaire groaned his head laying on the table .
“ I did not influence you , you asked me to pour you a glass” she yawned sitting down ignoring a certain pair of blue eyes looking at her .
“ yeah cause your were sad anyways let not do it again” he couldn't even look at her it was too much of an effort.
I guess it laps today, your new recruit huh ?” clint nudged Natasha making her growl at the man but then nod .
“ whos the new recruit “ she asked looking up finally a slight catching of steve glance forcing herself to look at nat.
“ that jessica chick right?” sam spoke up .
“ yeah i think and some drills too once i can just observe” nat gave a sneaky smirk.
“ well good luck .. i'm not so hungry “ she stood, taking a cup of coffee and rushing out of the room.
“ y/n hey wait please” steve called rushing after her.
“ just leave me alone steve , my head hurts and I think i might throw up so lets just pretend nothing happened ok … please” she sighed.
“ but i didn't mean to stand you up i would of never of did that , she turned off my phone and kept telling me i still had time even showed me hers so i trusted her word and now i fucked up honestly of all people to let down and hurt you are not even close to being one of them” .
“ you did though , you made me look like such an idiot , you made me think … look it doesn't matter, maybe in time we can be friends but can you just let me breathe to do so?” she almost pleaded.
“ i wanna make it up to you please give me a second chance , please all im asking “
“ no i don't think we should ” .
she spent the day staring at the computer , trying to work in the lab with the bright lights was a bad idea now she was in her office , the lights dimmed and although the hangover was dimming and some of nats “drills” training made her mood a lot better. the petty side of her enjoy the soft torture of the bitchy agent and it sure wiped the sneering smile off ofhier face . now what she didn’t expect was the widow coming to the office hours later pulling her out of the room and dressing her up , not saying a word the whole time other than “stop whining “ or “ no feeling sorry for yourself “. probably a girl dinner night or something to cheer her up . begrudgingly she just followed even in the car , they talked about everything but the friendly hostage situation til they pulled up to well nothing .
“ you planning on killing me because joke on you it mean i wont have to do my reports “ she smirked.
“ no im doing this because I love you and you need to be happy and Tony's liver would be grateful” the widow kissed her cheek and led her to a footpath . “ now its down here straight ahead” .
“ ok this is only fueling my fear of you trying to kill me romanoff , hey in a wooded area where i could leave all this evidence and you know …. nat ? “ she turned to see the widow gone completely. "So I am gonna die “ she groaned. ok so now she was maybe more curious just following the footpath til she noticed red. that had her on alert , into action as she stop her feet lighter moving , eyes darting around to access any threat. now she was slightly afraid the bew recruit was gonna be at the end of this footpath and she was gonna be an accessory to murder.
“ oh thank god “ the breath of relief as she notice it wasnt blood but petal followed by more til the whole footpath was covered in these red petals .
the whole thing only made sense once she reached the clearing and now maybe she would be the one to hide a few bodies now .
There he stood in the clearing around the man where lights wrapped around the beauty of nature . a picnic table in the center with the same lights wrapped around the legs , her favourite flowers in the center. She wanted to hide how impressed she was. For a moment it wouldn't seem possible til she straightened herself up , crossing her arms trying not to smile or give anything away . including how good the man looked before her, the white dress shirt and black pants combo making him look like he stepped out of some steamy romance novel , the way the material of his clothes clung to the muscle she's found herself literally drooling over.
“ Please sit down?” pleading tone as she rolled her eyes and stepped more into the clearing saw the scorched mark still prominent in the ground. it was first time she had shown them her abilities , the one she had to hide all her life in persecution .
“ What is all this?”.
“ I wanted to make it up to you .. with nat's help of course … please just one chance” he came closer .
“ You seem to making a lot of effort for a not date” she mused while looking around .
“ well let this actual date make up for it” .
“ is this because of the not drunk confession because a pity date isn't necessary” she huffed wondering how her week took such a nose dive.
it's not a pity date its an actual i like you too date and dont wanna screw up “
“ touch of kidnapping” she nodded, not hiding the smirk on her lips .
“ with a touch of kidnapping, “ he laughed.
“ Fine I yield mainly because i'm hungry and I thought nat was feeding me “ she watched him pulling out the basket pulling out the canister and the tupperware .
“ ok food might be cold “ he winced, opening the tubs and putting the contents on a plate .
“ i got it “ she rolled her eyes over the plates for a couple of seconds as steam began to bellow . “ it help when i was younger” she shrugged easily, handing him back one .
“ ok so canister has coffee or we have wine” .
“ coffee i don't think i could look at alcohol for a good while “ she laughed flashback of her and tony drinking games . “ So why here?” .
“ honestly it was the first place we got to see you for you , like the real you” her breath caught in her throat at his admission . “ you were so scared and so nervous but then you opened up , i always wondered why , why you were so scared”.
“ because i was taught to be , because the world taught me to be.. i mean unless you're an avenger or some high profiled hero , mutants or enhanced whatever you're side of that fence is, well it not something to celebrate it was and still is something people find to fear and with fear comes hate” she smiled sadly. “ my dad as crazy as he was , well he wasn't all wrong , we lived in chicago for a little until i thought my friend would accept me so i showed her what i could do and then that evening we had people yelling outside our home for the mutants to leave i was four when i learn what hate was truly and very real so when we moved to new york , my mom was chased down, hunted down and my dad began training soldiers for doomsday”.
“ that's why it took you so long to tell us you were enhanced” he asked not even noticing he grabbed her hand , the subconscious need to comfort the woman in front of him .
“ i know it's stupid to think giving wanda and pietro” she laughed. “ but yeah i think that fear or rejection was still there except tony stark lit up like a christmas tree at the sight” .
“ wheres your dad now? maybe you could show him its not like that now right”.
“ hes on the raft steve its still like that for him , i ran away i was maybe fourteen i didnt wanna live my life in fear and not live it at all “ she smiled sadly . “ great first kidnapping date content right here” she snorted .
“ we can talk about something else if you want,” he squeezed her hand .
“ no i mean i come to terms with it all , but i am curious why you didn't ask for me help?” .
“ honestly because you make me nervous , like when i talk to you suddenly i'm that small fry from brooklyn who couldn't look a dame in the eye and i mean you come into our lives with this air about you , this funny yet caring nature , you work hard to make sure everything run smoothly and you only one who can truly handle tony “ he smiled brightly.
“ pepper asked me for tips. Well, praise from the america's golden boy is nice. I must admit , I've learned to just be myself” her cheeks flushed.
“ also doesn't help that your most beautiful woman i've come across either, you must think i'm a dummy when i take to you because you make my brain short circuit by just smiling i mean the words just mix and melt together “ a braveness taking over like he couldn't stop, all the feelings that he held in for so long falling out of his mouth before he could stop .
“ you dont seem to have a problem with words now ? “ she giggled even freezing at the sound like was that her ?.
“well i guess i need to let it out now hopefully it will get you to forgive me, i only trained that agent hoping i could help and get over my nervousness because i was going to work up the courage to tell you how i really felt so i stupidly thought i could work through them by getting the blood pumping i didn't see the scheming part i guess i need lesson in people “ he grimaced .
“ Well I mean the food and coffee is working on the forgiveness so it this get up “ she mused hinting at his outfit making his cheeks flush . “ stand me up again date or not I will roast you up and serve you on that shield of , tony liver can't take it … apparently” she warned playfully .
“ well that wont happen and if i may say you look absolutely stunning “ he kissed her knuckles getting braver .
“ flattery will get you everywhere mr rogers but you can thank nat for this she literally dressed and dragged me here , im less mad at her for it “ .
She wasn't lying when she said that she was less pissed at him , conversation carried on more and more . she shared a little bit more of her childhood , the little handful of happy memories ,while he shared some of his from his childhood, a vast and different time . She couldn't help laughing thinking back to the hijinks that he and Bucky got up in that timezone . She asked him questions , getting to know the man behind the shield . Each minute , each hour passing by it was easier to get over that anger she felt but it also meant that he was getting braver , more flirty in his tone . Even when they finished their food he hit his phone as the speaker came to life . The blue jazz sound echoed in the woods . making the man stand before her holding his hand out that her . enjoying how perfect her hand fit in his , how his hand dwarfed hers . standing the crinkle of the foliage under their feet , his other hand on her hip pulling her closer. the swell of pride at her breath hitched at the bold movement . the sway of bodies to the rhythm and getting lost in the love story the song sang out. eyes locked pouring every unsaid emotion . he held her close in away that he was afraid to let her go, everything hes dreamed of was happening in real time. the first time he'd truly felt peace in the stormy war that was his life . the fist time it was serene that he could fully completely savour and enjoy the moment. his eye darted to her lips only to catch her doing the same, her tongue swiping the pillow plump soft lips . two leaning closer and closer til their foreheads pressed. a surge of bravery one he never felt before taking his hand off her hip and leading to cup her cheek , tilting her face up more before he leaned down .
At first it took her brain a second to recognise , to make the connection that captain Steven Grant Rogers was kissing her. not wasting another second she finally kissed the man back for the first time in a long time. It made sense . all the cliches from every romance book , rom com in existence, that foot popping , fire works going off kiss. seeing the sun rise and set for the first time kind of kiss. One that only starred in her dream and stopped when her alarm would go off. Everything felt electric in that one kiss , like nerves came alive ones she didn't even know she had . pulling back both needing air and yet he couldn't stop kissing her , pecking her lips in between breaths already addicted to her lip , to her taste .
“ god you don't know how long i wanted to do that “ he chuckled breathlessly, his forehead pressing against hers.
“ Don't worry I gotcha Cap “ she smirked pressing her lips to his once more
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liminalmemories21 · 2 days ago
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Fuck It Friday
tagged by @rcmclachlan - thank you!
A day late, but showing up nonetheless.
Remember when we used to write? Before work got insane for both @cecilyv and me? The halcyon days of December.
Anyway, a piece from before I stopped getting home at the end of the day absolutely brain dead and fried. From what has a google doc title of Academic AU. Side note, we've tried to write an academic AU in at least two previous fandoms, and I'm believing in third time lucky.
Tommy stares at the tweet, skeet, whatever.  The post.  Irritated with his hesitation.  The syllabus has not gotten empirically worse since the last time he taught this class last year.  He’s the one a year older, a year more calcified.  Feeling like he’s tilting at windmills. Or like he’s Charlie Brown chasing after the football of tenure.  The university always holding it just out of reach. Sighs and hits post.  Goes back to his inbox.  Deletes the perennial email about the photocopier.  Deletes the email about the meeting room reservation policy reminder.  Eyes the email about the university’s new policy on ChatGPT, and makes a bet with himself about whether they’ll have made some kind of sane decision. Sees a reply to his post come through with something like shock.  In the seven years he’s been teaching this class nobody has ever responded to his tweet - skeet, post, whatever - about the syllabus.  He’s not convinced anyone’s ever actually read his syllabus before they show up in class the first week of the semester. ____________________ @ebuckley.bsky.social Are you running nap time up there in Reno?  #inquiringmindswanttoknow He stares at it and has no idea how to respond.  Hadn’t honestly expected to hear from Evan Buckley ever again, except maybe in passing from Hen or Chim.  Except he doesn’t talk to them that much any more, and Evan had never come up before, no reason he’d come up now. Types and deletes and retypes a response - trying to match Evan’s tone, even though he’s always been terrible at reading tone when he can’t see the person saying the thing. Thomas Kinnard, Prof. American Military History, UNV @tkinnard.bsky.social Are you implying I’m boring? Stares at the screen and waits for a response.  Gets one immediately, like Evan had also been waiting for a response.  Isn’t sure what to make of that.  If he should make anything of it.  Maybe Evan’s just bored. ____________________ @ebuckley.bsky.social  I would never call you boring. Your syllabus, on the other hand…
I'm late, so open tag to anyone who wants to play.
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promqueengreen · 15 hours ago
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@ofwittyardor
{I knew what Ross meant by his comment... He wanted me to feel guilty, so his claim that he didn't want me there out of guilt was the Ross way of secretly wanting me to be there out of guilt. Oh, trust me. I had known Ross since we were kids. Sure, we might not have been close when we were kids, but in the ten years I lived in the city, I had come to know him very well. At this point, I could basically read him like a book. Case and point how I knew this was the "Geller guilt" at its finest that I was witnessing here and now. Truth was, I did feel guilty. Not so much for Ross ending up with a potentially broken nose from Aiden's fist, since after all, it was Ross who chose to kiss me right there in view of Aiden. He kinda deserved to be punched when you look at it from Aiden's perspective. Then again, I did feel a little guilty about that because Aiden was only there because he insisted on following me from Paris. Yes, I should have made it clear to him in Paris that we were over, but little did I know Aiden was making plans to relocate to New York City for me. Talk about not seeing that plot twist, but it is what it is. Aside from that though, I did feel guilty about not getting Ross's voicemail until recently... Opting not to call him to hash out the message because I was embarrassed by how much time had passed. Besides, Ross never showed up in Paris to fight for me, either, so for all I knew, I figured his message was a spontaneous thing, and he regretted doing it which is why he never acted beyond that} Guilty for which part exactly? Me bringing Aiden here? Trust me, that wasn't planned. He just came along. Claiming he had business in New York. {I shrugged unapologetically before I continued} Sure, I'm sorry you got punched tonight and that you're injured, but Ross, what did you expect when you kissed me in front of him? {I flashed Ross a playful grin before gently lowered the ice pack across his nose; gingerly holding it in place for him, so it didn't put too much weight on his sore nose} I do, however, feel bad about the voicemail... Months passed before I even heard it, and by then, it felt like so much time had passed that I didn't know if I should mention it. Especially given that you never followed up with another call, text, visit to Paris... anything. I honestly thought, given our history, that maybe you regretted the message, which was why that's as far as it went. That maybe the voicemail was only because of how you felt about me leaving for Paris, and then after you sent it you reconsidered your position on all of that. Either way, I am sorry, Ross. For all of it. Even though I am sorry, truly, that's not why I'm here with you tonight. I'm not here out of guilt. I'm here because I want to be here.
Continued
@promqueengreen
Traffic; which wasn’t as lame as Rachel obviously thought. He did drive up here during rush hour; the airport got busy. But I knew I was drowning. Ross was very smart. But with Rachel she had the tenacity to make him squirm because she had a hold over him. She knew him like the back of her hand, just like he knew her. Did he think any of the excuses he told tonight would fly with her? No of course not but given our history deep down the brunette knew the why I was here. 
She’d gloss over the why because she didn’t want to talk about it. Obviously given her silence since I left that voicemail months ago. And if Adien wasn’t here dragging his feet behind us; I’d definitely have a lot to say to her. Even if it ended with the pending rejection. Ross normally walked away in fear, he didn’t want to be rejected but with Rachel he’d do anything for her. 
The way Rachel spoke she was making me out to be an idiot, a weak one too. It was a reminder of how far our history went. Years of knowing the other; her lack of gym activity, but I also wasn’t the one embarrassing the other right now. I felt unsure how to respond, I could hear Ariden chuckling behind us, I felt like such a fool to believe for one second that I could compare with this guy. Glancing to the pavement as we walked closer to my car, I found my voice. 
“ Yeah yeah, we get it, but you’d be surprised how much I’ve changed since you’ve been gone, I’m not the same Ross you knew,” Well I was still quirky, I was still an idiot sometimes, but I decided to keep those inner thoughts to myself. I wanted to make an impression. Upon settling myself into the drivers seat, I heard the retorts regarding my sister, she was a organized freak which means the female’s apartment was already fitted with her belongings, boxes undone, her clothes were inside the closet, her place would have the furniture before we arrive, it was kinda impressive about Monica. I had to release a laugh from lips as I aired out my reply. “ In other words we let Monica do the hard work, I’m sure she had Chandler there just to help with the boxes unpacking I mean, yet again it was probably her bossing him around.” What a poor fool I thought to myself; yet again I was the fool that was sitting in my car ready for the ride with Rachel and her new boyfriend. I was dreading this car ride; but for a second I managed to forget, upon hearing her confirmation that she was happy to see me, plus her hand on my knee. Eyes glanced to the contact as I responded to the dinner comment. 
“ I’ll see what I can do.” I never lied harder; I had no intention of going to this dinner, one I did want to pretend I had plans, and two to witness Rachel with her arms around Aiden all night now that made my stomach knot up. No thank you. But I kept that bit to myself as I nodded before I had placed my hand on the gear to put us into drive. 
Other hand moved to the radio letting some lame pop tune play; it would be a long ride for me, as I tried to focus on the road once we reached the parkway; let’s just make this painless right? It had already painted crap in my face; let’s just escape and prepared Aiden wasn’t in the backseat.
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imchronicallydepressed · 2 years ago
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@crustybowlofcereal Found the image I'd been looking for. I saw it nonchalantly at one point, and then it vanished into the void, never to be seen again. Thank you 😭
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slymanner · 3 months ago
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Look all I'm saying is if that a shadow game can work THAT well and be so well designed story wise and gameplay wise
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HE can work
#sonic#silver the hedgehog#sonic the hedgehog#silver right now is such a open canvas of a character#story wise and gameplay wise#he's been a side character for so long and in the one time he was a main character his whole story was basically axed from canon#he's definitely been explored since then but not to extent we've probably wanted with this character-#and I'm talking mostly game silver cause obviously in IDW and archie he got some LOVE there#even if we never saw idw silver actually explore his good future#which i still think is a shame but also apparently if sega doesn't want that to be explored in a comic and saved for the games then#THEY BETTER EXPLORE IT SOON#and honestly gameplay wise he needs another shot as well#like C'MON his psychic's just needed better...well...PSYCHIC'S TO WORK#can you imagine what cool and fun movement he'd have now that sega is now slowy understanding what kinda stuff they wanna do with#the sonic franchise again and how it should play#i don't know if i should fully expect a silver game at any point#but he should ATLEAST be a second main character in a new game so people can be reintroduced to him and they can cook with him#IM TIRED OF SEEING MY SON GETTING HATED ON OR CALLED LAME#I WANT PEOPLE TO BE REMINDED OR SHOWN HOW COOL AND FUN HE CAN BE WHEN GIVEN THE SPOTLIGHT#archie and idw are the best examples of him as a character#he is a lovable friend and ally#but serious when he can be character#and his powers are literally so COOL AND INHERENTLY UNIQUE AND POWERFUL COMPARED TO OTHER'S IN THE CAST#like when surge saw silver come in casually carrying a large object and she got nervous THAT'S WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT#THIS MAN CAN BE A THREAT.#okay rant over DHDNDNDB
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ninkaku · 15 days ago
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i always talk about how sad dazai is to me but sometimes its really funny thinking about the fact he canonically whores around and its like. just how many people do you think he comes across "in the wild" aka. after he's slept with them where they're either like dazai! :D or dazai? :/ because he ghosted LIKE HELLOOO..........keep count of WHERE your flings work so you can avoid them bcs i know for suuureee kunikida HATES being this mans partner when people start the ?? oh, hey dazai ?? routine and dazai is like haha oh my god heyyy (leans sexily against the nearest object as he tries to recall their name) ...... work got SO busy you wouldn't believe it..........call you this weekend? (he wont) (and they know it) (or he might upon remembering their name) (who knows) and tbh he's either getting an "okay :p" or a "don't bother" and it's doubly embarrassing bcs kunikida is slapping him upside the head as they walk away. dazai pouts about it
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plotthotrobin · 20 hours ago
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It wasn’t something that occurred to him at the beginning. So much had happened in Byleth’s first year of life - and after he managed to get this little, silent infant out of the direct gaze of the archbishop, he tried not to think about anything relating to his past life at Garreg Mach. The keyword is tried. On days where he failed, he’d drink until his brain couldn’t function anymore.
I mean, sure, he knew that his lifespan was too long. He’d honestly stopped counting somewhere in his eighties, but he still knew it was incredibly unnatural for him to still be alive to walk the roads of Fódlan. Then again, there wasn’t much in his life that wasn’t unnatural in some way - and, with that, comes an odd sense of normalcy in the abnormal. It seemed to him that Byleth hadn’t truly noticed or found it odd - either that, or they just didn’t feel the need to broach the topic. Regardless of which one it was, it didn’t matter to Jeralt.
The reality never truly sank in until he joined an old mercenary friend of his for drinks one night. She made the inevitable comment about how well he had aged, but what he didn’t expect was the follow up comment about Byleth, who was just on the verge of adulthood at the time.
“Keep up whatever miracle routine you’re doing, Jeralt,” She hummed around the rim of her tankard as she took a swig, then wiped her mouth with the back of her hand before continuing, “At this rate, you and the kid will look like siblings.”
It was an unwelcome, uncomfortable, and nauseating realization. He had been so focused on the present, on keeping them both safe and alive, that he hadn’t thought much about the future. Byleth was growing older, and he wasn’t. He got drunk that night.
This fact haunted him on the daily from that moment on. It’s normal for a parent to want to rewind the clock to when their child is young again, but only a handful of them had to face the reality that they’d have to bury their own child.
It’s after their return to the monastery that Jeralt gradually begins to accept it, and he shifts gears. Byleth had always had a striking resemblance to Sitri, but it stuck out like a sore thumb when seeing them tending to the same things in the same place that their mother once used to. The one thing he had wanted for Sitri above all else was her happiness - he would go get her favorite flowers and tell her all the stories she desired until she had fallen asleep in his arms with the most beautiful smile on that pretty face.
As much as he distrusts Rhea and her plans, teaching the little brats seemed to change Byleth for the better. Their emotions started to really shine, something that left Jeralt in absolute awe. Perhaps he really had spent far too long focused on survival, and not enough on their happiness. He couldn’t change the past, but maybe he could try a different approach going forward. He would outlive Byleth, but he would do his absolute damndest to make those years the happiest he possibly could.
It’s ironic, really, that he died just after he had come to terms with everything - and even more so that not long after, through circumstances of their own, Byleth stopped aging.
so like do you ever think Jeralt realized he’d likely outlive Byleth
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grinchwrapsupreme · 1 year ago
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i'm still reeling at the fact that we got havers back in series 5 like what do you mean he's back at button house??? what do you mean the captain got to see him again???? what do you mean that's his fucking swagger stick???????? ben willbond i'm going to hunt you for sport!!!!!!!!!!!!
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trekkiehood · 3 months ago
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#ok ramble time#classic this feels too intimate to share with anyone so everyone gets it#essentially last week there was a suicide on campus#he was not one of my students or in our department#I'm pretty removed from it#ans i really didn't think it affected me#but i guess it has#bc like i thought i was over#✨this✨#Like ok i have had active plans in the past#one of those this is how this is when this is where#just waiting for the final straw#but i clearly never did#and that plan would no longer work due to changes in circumstances and living arrangements etc#which is honestly probably for the best#bc i refuse to make a new one bc i know i do not want to go there#but im just TIRED and ANXIOUS#its not even the depression its the anxiety of living#i stay up until 3-4 in the morning bc i cant stand the idea of going to sleep#and i secretly hope each sleep will be my last#bc im not going to DO anything bc that would not be it#too many ppl care about me (unfortunately)#and then ive stopped eating (again)#and it's like idek if its bc i dont want to or bc i forget#its like i see myself self destructing but cant make myself stop#and I have not done anything physically stupid in quite a long time but ive started biting to stim#and i dont even know im doing it half the time it just helps#and skin picking. which none or this is the same as true s/h but it does scare me to a degree bc i dont mean to i just do it#anyway i don't expect anyone to read all of this i just had to get it out ot my head
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yourlocaldisneyvillain · 1 year ago
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i wish there was a space for actual adults within this fandom. i guess i will have to create it, even if it's just me and other five people and a shoelace. i wonder how this whole thing is gonna develop!
#personal#the entire internet but also this fandom specifically is infested with ppl whose reading comprehension is lower than a 6th grader's#can't a gal enjoy a middle-aged actress without being pestered by toddlers with pitchforks#and i know i'm the pettiest bitch but i am ANNOYED esp when i see how old these ppl are. if you're over 25 you have no excuse daskjfhg#like i have cut my audience in half at least! if not more with this fic#but i'm happy bc i'm producing content i wanna produce#i wonder how my new fics are gonna be received#after i finish “particular” i have another thing coming up that ppl probs won't like lol#but i think it's important i post it#and then we have murder mysteries and gothic horror and wooooo you know#it's gonna be fun! and a bit disturbing!#wonder if imma be dragged on twitter again lol#but i sincerely hope no one will care lol#honestly i never expected ppl to care THAT much but i guess they did#it also annoys me that a concerningly small amount seems to care abt the actual quality of writing#and i'm over here agonising about Stylistic Choices(TM) lol#i feel like it flies over ppl's heads and they just wanna read abt larissa weems fucking them with a shapeshifted dick#which okay i guess but also what abt Literature#you could do smth creative with a shapeshifting character just saying. and include your magic cocks or whatever tf you're into#ah i am fuming in vain i will just write my lil fics and hope i don't get a new influx of kys messages lol
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red-dyed-sarumane · 8 months ago
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my art may not get a lot of attention but thats fine theres like 12 of u that like it and thats very cool. appreciate u guys
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