#I was hailed by the family as Brilliant Detective: Finder and Rescuer
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#i had the longest weekend on the planet#shitshow of a funeral with the most dysfunctional side of my family#and then my uncle never made it home and he's diabetic so we can't just wait for him to turn up again#i made a chain of logical leaps that felt right in the moment but are confusing even to me in hindsight#but with one phone call i found him in jail in a tiny town in the middle of nowhere and then drove two hours to bail him out#all this while I was badly sunburned on my period and covered in poison ivy blisters#did a kafkaesque little routine where every lobby we went into at the jail was empty and there was just a phone on the wall#and someone on the other end would say oh go into the next door down#and that would also be an empty dark room with a phone on the wall where they said to go one more door down#several times in a row#finally found an inhabited part of the building and talked to a sherriff while trying to hold all my arms and legs behind my back#to hide the horrible yellow crusty blisters all over my skin. look like an actual plague victim. feel worse.#keeping it together because i am Handling The Situation#my uncle was so happy to see us he cried#he'd been trying to call for help all day but the jail phone was showing up as Scam Call on everyone's cell#I was hailed by the family as Brilliant Detective: Finder and Rescuer#I went home and laid very still for many hours#anyway in between crises I got to spend a few hours at the beach and that was nice.
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