#I was actually not super sure how customs worked for border crossing in trains. But now I know!
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Another Muppets song on my list to somehow work into MBS: "Movin' Right Along"!! (I know it's a bit late and nobody cares, but I really wanted to do it)
I think this would be a song the kids do some of their Season 2 travel montage to. Not all of it, since there's also plot important stuff that has to happen, but definitely some of it!
Here is the original song, and here is a cover that I also like. (It moves a bit faster)
Some notes: I get that in Season 2 it's kind of tense and serious, what with Mr. Benedict and Number Two kidnapped and the kids running around Europe unsupervised. However. This is a Muppet Movie. People are barely capable of being serious for more than five seconds. Please keep that in mind as this song is very silly.
Constance very begrudgingly says her lines in a slightly sing-song voice, barely differentiable from speaking. In the parts where it lists all of the kids, she is just half-heartedly lip-syncing, or rolling her eyes at the others.
Sticky is trying very hard to keep track of the maps/train schedules this whole time. He is usually the one pointing the direction they should be going/correcting them if they get lost.
Reynie and Kate are the best roadtrip sing-along buddies. Every now and again Reynie will stop singing because he's trying to keep the group on track, but he is also having a lot of fun with Kate.
Kate would be the one driving the car, if that was feasible/what was actually happening. This is a very contextless and unfounded statement but I believe you need it in order to properly visualize their travel dynamic.
Reynie: Movin' right along in search of more clues and good news Kate: With good friends you can't lose This seems to be a habit! Sticky, holding up the train passes: Opportunity knocks once let's reach out and grab it Reynie: (yeah!) Together we'll nab it Kate: We'll hitchhike, bus or yellow cab it! Constance: (Cab it?)
All: Movin' right along Kate & Reynie: Footloose and fancy-free Getting there is half the fun, come share it with me All, with Kate on sound effects: Moving right along (doog-a-doon doog-a-doon) Sticky: We'll learn to share the load Constance: Don't we need a map to keep this show on the road?
Kate: Movin' right along, we've found a life on the highway Reynie: And your way is my way Sticky: So trust my navigation Kate: Mr. B and Number Two, we're coming to find you We're following the clues Constance: It's sad that you still think we're going to get there Reynie: Constance! Constance: You already roped me into the rhyming scheme once, I'm not doing it again
All, with Kate on sound effects: Movin' right along (doog-a-doon doog-a-doon) Tell me, which train now? Sticky, grabbing her arm as she walks toward the wrong one: No, not that one, it's set to visit Moscow
All, with Kate on sound effects, and still thoroughly enjoying it: Movin' right along (doog-a-doon doog-a-doon) Kate, to Reynie and Sticky: You take it, you know best Constance, in the background as the others confer: I still believe this is hopeless
Reynie, trying to move past Constance's snark: Movin' right along we're truly birds of a feather Kate, slinging an arm around his shoulders: We're in this together Sticky, joining in with an upbeat tone: And we know where we're going Reynie: Teamwork got us here, I really think we can do it! Kate: There's no reason to quit! Constance: Unless you count all of the danger Kate: Not helping
Reynie: Movin' right along, Hey, what does that sign say? Sticky: It says we're near the border, there's a customs delay Kate: Moving right along Reynie: (Thanks, Sticky) Footloose and fancy-free Kate: I think we're getting close Sticky: We've made it to Germany!
Together, celebrating that they've made it so far: Movin' right along Movin' right along Movin' right along Movin' right along
#Okay I know the first set of verses is a little rocky#But I just really liked the way it flowed and I didn't want to mess it up#A couple of other things are a bit out of place too#But again it's supposed to be the Muppets so I feel like it's alright for it to be goofy#This has been in my drafts for like a week because I spent so long editing the lyrics#I was actually not super sure how customs worked for border crossing in trains. But now I know!#Often they'll check you beforehand if you're getting on actually at the border#But they have people check everything when you cross if you're already on the train and you hit it#At least in some countries#Because of how many are in Europe I was not sure exactly if it would go that way for the France/Germany border#At any rate I get that this is not relevant anymore but I thought it was fun :)#Going to stop rambling like a lunatic#muppets mbs
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
Everything you need to know about day one of Brexit
By Ian Dunt
Oh sweet Christ not Brexit again.
Yes, you will never escape. It will never be over. Decades from now, as your wrinkled fingers grasp the remote for your 3D holo-viewer, the main news item will still be about Brexit.
At least we got a break during the coronavirus emergency.
Yep, say what you like about pandemics, but at least they take trade talks off the front pages. Still, it's back now. We leave at the end of the year. And deal or no-deal, things at the border are going to be very different.
OK lay it out for me.
For decades we have had frictionless trade with Europe in the customs union and single market. The customs union got rid of tariffs, which are taxes on goods entering a territory, and the single market harmonised regulations, which means goods are made to the same standards. Once you're outside of them, you need checks at the border to make sure people are paying the right tax and complying with the regulations.
And that's what's about to happen?
Exactly. And this will apply regardless of whether there is a deal or not. I want to issue a word of warning before we go any further: It's a horror show. The level of tediousness here is off the scale. This is like someone came up with a super-powered serum for the concept of bureaucracy and then injected it directly into your bloodstream. But you didn't turn into Chris Evans in Captain America, you turned into Jeff Goldblum in The Fly. The worst things are the acronyms. Everything has an acronym. But you need to get your head around it in order to understand what's going to happen to us next month.
I don't care. I hate this. I want this conversation to stop.
You can't, it's too late. You are trapped here with me and the acronyms. OK so here's the basic problem, the one from which all others follow. Our customs system currently processes around 55 million declarations a year. In 2021, it will process around 270 million. It needs to massively ramp up capacity.
It's just as well the government has such a good track record of implementing complex IT projects at speed then.
Quite. To be fair, the government has put a lot of effort into this, albeit belatedly. More than 35 government departments and public bodies are involved, including HM Revenue & Customs (HMRC), the Department for Environment, Food & Rural Affairs (Defra), the Home Office (HO), the Department for Transport (DfT), the Border and Protocol Delivery Group (BPDG) and the Transition Task Force (TTF).
Sweet Jesus the acronyms.
Actually, most of those are abbreviations, but let's not get caught up on details. We've barely scratched the surface. There are three key areas where the government needs to build capacity: IT systems to process the customs declarations, physical infrastructure at or near ports, and staff in government and the private sector to keep the customs system going.
That's a lot to do.
It is. But the government made things easier in one crucial respect: it delayed its own import declarations system until July next year.
What does that mean?
It means that stuff coming into Britain from Europe basically gets waved through. There are still technically customs requirements, but they've been pushed back six months. This allowed them to make sure goods would still enter the country and let them focus on trying to get the exports right.
It's hardly taking back control, is it?
No it isn't, but they're undertaking a systems-level change at an eye-watering timetable, so it was a necessary sacrifice.
Couldn't they have extended transition to prepare for this?
Yes they could, but chose not to. That's cost them. Covid seriously delayed preparations, dominated attention in business and government, paused ministerial decision-making and put communication with traders into deep-freeze over the summer.
So what are the biggest risks now?
The IT systems. There are 10 critical IT systems which are needed at the GB–EU border. Then there are the European systems which UK exporters will need to use to get access to the continent. We're not going to go into all of them here - we're going to massively simplify.
Thank heavens.
Don't worry, it'll still make your brain dribble out of your ears. We're also going to simplify by taking goods going from Britain to Northern Ireland off the table. That's its own separate hellscape. And we're going to focus on the Dover-Calais crossing. There are many others going from England to France, but this is the main route. It serves 'accompanied goods' - when a driver in a lorry takes the goods onto a ferry and then drives it off on the other side of the Channel. This is called RoRo, for roll-on-roll-off.
Acronym. Drink.
If you keep that up you'll be smashed by the end of the article and won't have any idea what I'm talking about.
I already have no idea what you're talking about.
Fair enough, drink away. The trouble with customs IT systems is this: Everyone needs to be filling in the right thing, in the right place, at the right time. If they don't, things break down. That doesn't just apply to the UK and French governments. It applies to exporters and importers, ports, hauliers and others. Customs is all or nothing. If one section is wrong, it's all wrong. Lorries are often full of lots of different consignments of goods from different exporters. Plenty of them travel with 100 individual separate consignments on them. This is called 'groupage'. So if one input of one customs form in one of those consignments is wrong, the whole lorry is delayed. And if that lorry is delayed, all the lorries behind it are delayed. The potential for breakdown is therefore very significant.
This is already making me anxious. It's like Jenga but it reaches all the way into the sky and is composed entirely of knives.
You also need to make sure that third party software used by places like the ports integrates with the government systems. And that assumes that the government IT systems actually work and have staff with the proper experience and training to operate them. And this too is interrelated. If one of the systems breaks down, it has a knock-on effect on the other systems. You keep seeing this same problem crop up. It's not one of error, exactly. It's about the consequence of the error, the knock-on effects of it.
How robust are those IT systems looking right now?
Not great. Some have been delayed indefinitely, some for a set period, some are in trials and some are online. But even when they're finished, you really want to give all the people using them time to understand them, to get used to them, so that when we leave transition there are as few mistakes as possible. All four industry representative bodies, including the Road Haulage Association (RHA) and the British International Freight Association (Bifa), have raised concerns about the government's level of preparedness, saying that they don't believe the border will be fully functioning by next month.
That's two more acronyms by my count.
I'm glad to see you sticking to the important information here. The trouble is that lack of government preparedness doesn't just affect it - it affects trader preparedness as well. If they're not getting clear communication from the government about what is happening and how it is happening, they don't know what to do. And the government has a bad record here. It has marched traders up the hill on no-deal several times over recent years, only to march them down again. Now many simply ignore it. Government communications have, until recently, centred on the "opportunities" of Brexit, which does nothing to indicate the urgency with which people need to make expensive and time-consuming changes. Even in October, just 45% of high-value traders who trade exclusively with the EU had started to invest in readiness.
Oh dear.
There are some reasons to be more optimistic. The first is that government communication has belatedly started to improve. A new campaign in October was much better, telling traders that "time is running out". There's also one really important thing to remember about all this: it's not a long term problem. Brexit has plenty of those and they are severe, but this is not one of them. This is a short, sharp, embarrassing shock. Eventually, the market will adjust. People will see what happens in January and find ways around it so they can get their goods to market. Some people think that will happen very quickly indeed - no more than a month. Some think it'll take the first quarter of next year or longer. But very few people think it will last the whole year. What we're looking at here is the most dramatic, but also ultimately the most superficial, of Brexit impacts.
Starting to feel a bit tipsy now.
Cool, then it might be a good time to start talking about the IT systems.
No. Stop.
What?
I don't want to hear it. I want to get out.
It's too late. You're trapped here in an imaginary world in which I am talking to myself and explaining customs procedures. And in fact your resistance to this conversation probably points to some kind of deep-seated psychological trauma which I'm working my way through.
Dog carcass in alley this morning. Tyre tread on burst stomach.
Very good, Rorschach. So look, there are really four forms you need to remember. First, the import/export declaration. Second, the safety and security documentation. Third, the sanitary and phytosanitary measures for agricultural goods. And fourth, the system that collects these data sets and connects them to the lorry which is transporting the good.
What's in the import/export declaration?
They basically state what the good is, its value and how much duty you have to pay on it. It's the tax bit. It's all very complex, laborious and crammed full of technical minutiae but that's the executive summary. It needs to be lodged before the good gets to the French border.
How do you lodge it?
You do it through a UK system called the Customs Handling of Import and Export Freight, or Chief.
Drink.
This is a really old system and before Brexit was even a twinkle in Boris Johnson's eye, the UK planned to turn it off and migrate all traders to a new system called the Customs Declarations Service, or CDS.
Drink.
CDS was meant to replace Chief from January 2019 and then switch off altogether by March 2021, but there were repeated delays. So instead they're keeping Chief for trade between Britain and the EU and using CDS for trade between Britain and Northern Ireland, because it has the capacity for dual tariff fields. CDS is then going to be scaled up until it can deal with all the declarations.
No acronyms there.
Actually trade between Britain and Europe is called GB-EU and trade between Britain and Northern Ireland is called GB-NI, but let's not worry about that. The government insists that Chief now has an increased capacity that can handle 400 million annual declarations - way higher than the 265 million which are expected. HMRC has paid Fujitsu £85 million to provide technical support. But others aren't convinced. They're not sure it can handle the load and nervous that there isn't enough support if something goes wrong.
Very reassuring.
Isn't it. Remember that the importer on the EU side also has to be doing all of this - at the right time, in the right place - on the European customs system.
OK so what about the safety and security thing?
It's a document outlining what the good is, so it can be assessed for potential risks. Again, it's a long complex thing with multiple data fields. Like import/export, it has to be done in advance of the goods reaching Calais. It's submitted to the UK government via a new system called S&S GB.
Drink.
It must also be submitted to the EU member state's Import Control System, which is called ICS.
Drink. OK tell me about the sanitary pad things.
Sanitary and phytosanitary measures, or SPS.
Drink.
These are there to protect people, animals and plants from disease or pests. They cover products of an animal origin, like cheese, or meat, or fish, as well as live animal exports, plants and plant products, and even the wooden crates used to transport other types of goods. It's painstaking stuff, but I think, given the pandemic we're all going through, we all understand why it's important.
Yeah, fair enough. You've sold me. I'm totally on board with this stuff.
These kinds of goods have to enter Europe through specific Border Control Posts, or BCPs.
Drink.
And there they undergo some, or all, of a variety of checks. There's a documentary check for the official certification which travels with the good. There are identity checks, which provide a visual confirmation that the consignment corresponds to the documentation. And there's a physical check to verify the goods are compliant with the rules, for instance temperature sampling, or laboratory testing. You know that whole chlorine-washed chicken thing?
Sure.
Well this is where they check whether it has been and stop it getting into Europe if it has. But it's actually the documentary check which is the hardest part in terms of UK preparedness. It includes something called an Export Health Certificate, or EHC.
Drink. Jesus Christ.
These are documents which confirm that the product meets the health requirements of the EU. So they might say that the animal was vaccinated, for instance. Some products, like a cut of lamb, will just have one EHC. But others, like a chicken pizza, will have more than one.
We've talked about this before. People shouldn't put chicken on pizza.
You are wrong, it's a perfectly legitimate pizza topping, and in fact you are so wrong that I have started using chicken pizza as my trade-good shorthand. Chicken pizza is the new widgets.
What even are widgets?
No-one knows, that's why economists love them. A chicken pizza, however, is a composite good for the purposes of SPS. The chicken and the cheese are different animal products, so they would need separate export health certificates. And all these certificates have to be verified by an official veterinarian, or OV.
You're just messing me about now.
No seriously, they use that acronym. This whole area of public life has been radicalised into extreme acronym use. Anyway, the OV goes through the details, queries the documents and signs them off. But there's assistance from a person pulling together all the paperwork. They're called a Certification Support Officer, or…
I can't believe this.
...CSO. These guys are mostly in private practices, usually farming practices. It's not a big part of their workload - maybe 20% of what they do. But if you don't have those vets, you can't send the export. That would be catastrophic for the farming, food and hospitality sectors. And that's where we have an issue. There are restrictions on getting that many OVs up and running. There's a tight labour market for vets and the UK is highly reliant on Europeans coming over to do the job, but the end of free movement makes that much more difficult and expensive, as does the covid pandemic.
So what has the government done?
It pumped £300,000 into providing free training for the role. Many vets took it up. The number of qualified vets has jumped from 600 in February 2019 to 1,200 today. But that still leaves a capacity gap of 200.
Well that doesn't sound so bad.
No it doesn't, but when you start to scratch away at the figures, they fall apart. The 200 figure is the number of 'full time equivalent' qualified vets required. And if vets only spend about 20% of their time doing this, it means we'll actually need an extra 1,000 vets training in the additional qualification.
Oh dear.
Yep. Groups representing the sector are seriously worried about this. And as with customs, the smooth functioning of the border will rely on the importer on the EU side doing all the bits they're required to do too, by creating a record in the Trade Control and Expert System, or Traces NT.
Drink. OK, what's the fourth bit of IT?
Transport. This involves wrapping all the other forms together and attaching them to a vehicle. In the UK, we'll be doing this through something called the Goods Vehicle Movement Service, or GVMS.
Drink.
It links export declaration references together into one single Goods Movement Reference, or GMR.
Drink. Bloody hell man these people are out of control.
The GMR should come out like a barcode, a one-stop shop for all the tied-together information we've been discussing. GVMS will be needed for certain movements in January, particularly for trade with Northern Ireland, but it won't be a requirement of all imports until July. It's currently being tested and there are dark murmurs about its functionality from those who have come into contact with it. Mercifully, exporters into Europe on January 1st will be using the French system, SI Brexit. This was operational a year ago and has been fully tested several times.
Those lazy French with their useless romantic dispositions.
It's almost like they're a nation that cares about shopkeepers.
Speaking of which, how're British businesses going to deal with all this additional paperwork?
Many companies will be OK. Very big corporations are well ahead and in many cases have set up a European entity so that they can sell directly from their UK entity to the EU one. Then they'll probably just reflect the customs costs in a subtly increased retail price. Smaller companies who are used to exporting to the rest of the world outside of Europe also have an advantage. They're used to these kinds of things. The people who are most at risk are the small-to-medium-sized enterprises who have traded exclusively with Europe.
Small-to-medium-sized… Oh no.
Yeah, that's right. SMEs. Which, by the way, comprise the vast majority of companies in the UK. If you send just two or three loads of your product a month to Europe, it probably won't be worth the cost in manpower and money preparing for all this stuff. They'll likely just accept a shrinkage in their business. For many of them, the whole thing is a bafflement. Honestly, you read the guidance on all these systems and it's like it's in an alien code - a garbled assault of acronyms and complex systems. Many small firms, already suffering from covid, just throw up their hands in despair.
Bleak. It's always the little guys that get it.
Yes, although paradoxically, that actually presents one of the few reasons for optimism. Well, not optimism exactly, but a hope for least-badism. Now that so many people feel January will be chaotic, they might just decide not to bother trying to send anything. Goods will get stuck at a warehouse instead of on a truck.
Seriously? That's your good news? Aren't you just displacing disruption from the ports to other parts of the supply network?
Yes precisely. But there really are no good outcomes here.
Because if that doesn't happen, the system seizes up?
Yeah exactly. Lorries head to Dover then get held up because they don't have the correct paperwork. Then lorries behind those lorries get caught up, pushing the queue out, dominating Kent, creating a huge singular blockage. The government's own Reasonable Worst Case Scenario, or RWCS…
Drink.
... estimates that between 40% and 70% of lorries may not be ready for border controls, leading to queues of up to 7,000 trucks.
But that would only be going out right? The stuff we bring in to the country would be unaffected because we're not putting in place controls.
Kind of. It's certainly true that most imports should have a clear run into the UK. You can keep those two lanes separate. But most hauliers are from Romania, Lithuania, Hungary and Poland. They pay a lease on their trucks, which means they have to keep them going if they're to make money. They can't afford to get stuck in a queue at the border. So there's a good chance they'll look at the log-jam in the UK and think: 'I'm not touching that with a barge pole'. This would mean Britain struggled to get its imports, including potentially fresh food and medicines.
Wow.
Yeah, it could be bad. But there are plans for that eventuality. The government has set up some emergency routes, for instance on the Newhaven-Dieppe crossing. There's additional ferry capacity at eight ports, with the Department for Transport acting as the referee on which vehicles get onto their crossing. But it's not a like-for-like replacement. Many of these crossings take much longer than the short gap between Dover and Calais, and they often operate for unaccompanied goods overnight. If the import is urgent, or fresh, or, like some covid vaccines, needs to be kept at a certain temperature, then you may have a problem.
What is the government doing to make sure this doesn't happen? How will they control the blockage?
There's three parts to that really. The first is controlling access to Kent, which the trucks head into to get to Dover. This project has no acronym, but instead adopted one of the least elegant names in the history of British policy-making: The Check an HGV is Ready to Cross the Border Service.
Wait but...
Yeah. HGV: Heavy Goods Vehicle.
I fully accept now that it was a mistake to adopt this drinking idea.
Before the lorry gets to Kent, the driver will fill out an online form with a bunch of information - the registration number, the destination, details of the consignments, confirmations that the import/export documents have been filled in, export health certificates, the whole lot basically. Those that are judged to have all the documentation are given a Kent Access Pass, or KAP.
Drink.
And that allows them to go into Kent. Police can hand out £300 fines to lorries found on the Kent roads without the permit.
But this is all done on trust right? It's a self-assessment form.
Yep. It'll rely on people filling it out right. It's not linked to EU customs systems. So there's no guarantee that documents they claim to have completed will be accepted by EU customs authorities. But on the plus side, the software was launched recently and most people think it'll work OK. It's better than nothing, basically.
Alright so what's next? Traffic management?
Exactly. It's uncanny how naturally your questions lead me onto the next thing I want to discuss.
That's because I am you.
Don't talk about that, it makes it weird. Alright so first up we have the traffic flow plans. The Department for Transport is taking an existing temporary system to create contraflow on the M20 and putting it on a permanent footing, allowing 2,000 lorries to be held on the motorway while traffic still flows in both directions on the London-bound side.
OK, what's next?
Well then there's the issue of actual sites. HMRC has identified seven locations outside the ports. There's prep work being done at a site in Sevington, Ashford, at a cost of £110 million, to act as a clearing house for another 2,000 lorries. Some 600 lorries can be held on the approach to Manston airport, with more at the airport itself. These two sites, along with the M20 contraflow, are for holding traffic. There are also plans for Ebbsfleet International Station, North Weald Airfield and Warrington to be used for bureaucratic checks away from the border. Other sites, potentially in the Thames Gateway and Birmingham areas, are also being considered. They insist that this should give them capacity for 9,700 lorries, which is above the 7,000 in their worst case scenario.
Assuming that scenario is correct.
Right. Covid and other unrelated events, like a fire breaking out for instance, could mean that even the worst case scenario is an underestimate. We just don't know. Plus that relies on all of this being up in time. The government has passed legislation to streamline planning processes, but the timetable is unbelievably tight. The same thing goes for staff.
These are the customs officials who check all the paperwork, right?
That's certainly part of it. They're split into two departments: HMRC and Border Force. HMRC needs 8,600 full-time equivalent staff in place for January 1st. They still need another 1,500 but seem confident they'll have them. Border Force recruited an additional 900 staff ahead of a possible no-deal last year and is trying to bring in 1,000 more. Ministers are confident they'll have enough people in place by January 1st, but trade experts are less convinced.
Recurring theme.
Indeed. It's easy to get fixated on numbers but it really matters how well you've trained people too. You can have someone helping with customs work after a day or two, but for them to have any real sense of what they're doing, you're going to want a year's training. And then there's the question of personality type. Customs is a very specific kind of work, full of extremely complex documentation which must be got right. For some people, that is unimaginably boring. For others, it's very satisfying. But you need the right ones. And that's not what typically happens when people get desperate on a recruitment drive.
What's the other part of the staffing problem?
The private sector. It's a job called 'customs broker'. They're basically people who come in and help companies with their customs forms. Like I said, this stuff is mind-meltingly complex. You really do need someone to come and help you do it. And that's what the government wants too of course, because the more people getting it right, the fewer delays at the border. But as of last September, just 53% of traders said they planned to use a customs broker, with 30% unsure and 18% saying they were going to do the work themselves. Those aren't good numbers.
Are there enough of them to meet demand?
No. This has been a long-running problem. Almost two-thirds of customs brokers do not have enough staff to handle the increased paperwork from leaving the EU. And actually capacity seems to have reduced over the year due to the covid pandemic. The UK needs thousands more.
What's the government doing about it?
It's invested £84 million since 2018 into training, recruitment and IT system development. But many customs brokers are still hesitant about taking on new salary costs to build a capacity that won't be fully required until next July and they're nervous about taking on unprepared customers. Of the £84 million on offer, just £52 million had been taken up in mid-October.
Is that… is that it? Please say that's it. I'm wasted.
It is.
OK so give me the executive summary.
We're about to experience the sudden implementation of complex customs processes in a nation which forgot they existed. This involves the introduction of numerous interrelated IT systems which have been under-tested. It's not clear that either government or traders are fully prepared for what's about to happen. In order to minimise the disruption the government is introducing various traffic management projects and trying to bulk up staff capacity. But there's just too many variables to know how it'll pan out. Maybe the systems will hold out and many traders will anyway sit out January because of concerns about queues. Or maybe the systems will fail, traders won't fill in forms right and the whole thing will blow up in our face. The most likely outcome right now is somewhere between shambles and catastrophe. We have to hope it's a shambles.
Can you do it in acronym-speak?
Amid RHA and Bifa concerns about the lack of progress, HMRC, Defra, the HO, the Dft, the BPDG and the TTF are building up IT systems for post-Brexit GB-EU trade and particularly for RoRo at Dover-Calais which will involve exporters submitting import/export declarations to Chief and the CDS, S&S information to S&S GB and ICS, and collating their SPS documentation - including an EHC filled out by an CSO under the supervision of an OV sent via a BCP - with the importer logging it on Traces NT, while generating a GMR via GVMS and SI Brexit, and then HGVs getting a KAP, all to avoid the RWCS.
D… Drink?
Yes I think so. That seems very sensible.
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
How to travel on a budget?
Today I want to take time and answer a question I am asked quite frequently: How am I able to afford travelling the world?
Well, let me tell you that I do recommend to save up a little money even if just to keep it as a prudent reserve while you are on the road having fun. One never knows what can happen while we are out exploring and let‘s get serious here for a minute – safety first, guys!
While you are backpacking around the globe there are however several life-hacks on how to safe money that are worth knowing and that I was able to learn through my own wandering.
1.) Do your research, know your stuff – hacks on flights & visas ✈
Saving money starts early on with booking a flight and applying for your visas. You do not need a travel agency to book your flights for you. There are countless websites out there allowing you to book online from your couch. Some of them even offering you to make up your own route so you don‘t have to fly back from the same country you arrived in.
Make sure to always use the ‘incognito window’ when browsing for flights as websites will be able to know what flight prices you have been shown before by using their cookies. Also, flight prices are at their lowest when you fly in and out on a Wednesday and if you book on a Thursday around midnight. One of the best websites to check for the cheapest offers out there is skyscanner. If you found and offer for a direct flight (where you don’t have to change the airline) it can also pay off to book the flight on the airlines website directly as you can save up on commission.
As for visas, depending on where you are going and what passport you hold it might not be necessary to get a visa in advance. If you are looking to get ETA (Canada) or ESTA (USA) make sure to only apply for these visas on the official government website and don’t let yourself be tricked into buying over an agency. Current prices (2019) should be a maximum of $7 for ETA and $14 for ESTA. If you are traveling in central or south America as well as south east Asia you do not have to get visas for every country in advance just make sure you have one for the country you are flying into. Crossing the borders from one country to another in south east Asia (exception for China) and central/south America is usually quite easy going and all you need is your passport and a couple of spare passport photos of yourself to put on the forms. You usually won’t have any problems crossing the borders on both plane or bus.
2.) Save money on accommodation
Finding the right hostel is usually an easy business. Countless platforms offer millions of options for cheap backpacker hostel’s around the globe. Trust me, I must know, I run one. I personally mostly use booking.com as they offer the best conditions for customers when it comes to flexibility of modifying or terms of cancellation. If you already know where you are heading and are certain your plans won’t change it is worth booking the non-refundable rate as it is usually 10% cheaper than the standard rate but as the name suggests, you cannot cancel your booking free of charge. Another little insider tip is to book on the hostel’s website directly (if there is one) as you can usually save up on booking commission that would be charged through a platform. Also, if you are intending to stay at the same place for a longer period (at least a week) it might be worthwhile to drop the hostel a direct message and ask for an offer and a reduction. Usually they are happy to give 10% off if you are staying longer and book directly.
If you are traveling as a group (at least 2 people) and also if you are traveling in areas such as south east Asia or south/central America it often is quite worthwhile to check out options on http://www.Airbnb.com. Apart from sometimes coming across rather unique accommodations (such as tree houses or igloos) you will often find double rooms for the same price as two bunks in a hostel and if you are traveling as a group you might even be able to rent an entire apartment for a really good price.
If you are an absolute low budget enthusiast you can check out couchsurfing, a social network where youngsters offer their couch or a spare room to travelers for free. Or, especially if you are travelling in warm countries, you might want to bring your tent or a hammock. Many hostels in warmer regions are used to people just paying to use the shower rooms while they set up their tents in the garden or yard.
3.) Get around cheap
When in Rome do as the Romans do. This also goes for getting around. Avoid tourist traps by taking the local bus (in comparison: crossing the border from Costa Rica to Nicaragua cost us about 3,50 $ on the local bus and would have been around $50 on the official bus bookable online). However, in countries where you have to cover hundreds of miles it might pay off to book tickets online and in advance. Buses are generally cheaper than trains. Affordable long distance companies would for example be Tiki bus (all of south and central America) or Greyhound (USA, Canada, Oz).
If you do not know how to start finding any options to get from A to B check out www.rome2rio.com. Some countries, such as Australia or New Zealand also tend to have a very organized backpacking-community and it is easy to hitch a ride with someone leaving a hostel to go see a national park or drive to another city. If you are staying long term it is always worth checking out the notice board in hostels to find a ride to share or just boldly ask around in the common room (yes, it actually works).
4.) Working abroad
Whether you are able to acquire a working visa or not there is always a way to find work abroad.
Workaway & WWOOFING: Both Workaway and WWOOFING (=working on organic farms for free) are online portals that allow you to connect with people around the world in order to find work in exchange for accommodation and sometimes a little pocket money. Unfortunately, both platforms require you to pay a fee, it is however worth investing if you are intending to stay in a country for a longer time and therefore need to look after your finances. Workaway requires an annual fee of around 35 EUR and enables you to surf profiles of users worldwide while WWOOFING gives you the opportunity to buy a list of addresses of farmers of a specific country. None of the jobs offered on such platforms should require any particular work experience nor a working permit as you are not getting paid. However, some individuals might still require the applicants to hold a work and holiday visa nevertheless so make sure to talk this through with a possible host in advance. Workaways are not only a nice way to save up on some money but are also often quit an experience in itself, whether you end up planting trees, saving turtles or working on a ranch or in a surf camp, they can be worthwhile just for the experience itself.
If you want to take a gap year it might be of interest to check out whether your country is allowed to apply for a ‘work & holiday visa’. Such visas give you both a one year permission to stay as well as a permit to work. Personally, I applied for this when I was staying in Australia and New Zealand. It was a great way to afford travelling for a year. With a ‘work and holiday visa’ you are able to apply for any workaways as well as every regular paid job and you pay taxes like everyone else (so make sure to apply for a tax return before heading home).
In countries that are used to seeing a great amount of working backpackers you are able to find work via notice boards in Hostels, through platforms such as ‘gumtree’ or in case of Australia, by calling the national fruit picking hotline. As countries like Australia rely on backpackers for most of their farm work it is super easy to get placed at a farm in need of more hands by ringing up the hotline within a few days.
If you feel I have left out on some information or you want to add some more travel-life-hacks please leave a comment and until then, happy wandering, folks!
#travel#travelonabudget#travelhacks#wanderlust#gapyear#workaway#workingabroad#globetrotter#travelblog#travelcheap#lifehacks#seetheworld#backpacking#viajar#reisen#auslandsjahr
1 note
·
View note
Photo
Traveling back to Ashland for my last leg (10/10 - 10/12)
It was a rushed haze through which we woke up, gathered our things, and loaded onto the bus, I honestly barely remember it, lol. But we made the bus and were one our way. It was about a 2 hour ride into Vancouver and we were dropped off at a huge bus station. We booked a bus to take us to Seattle and despite desperately wanting to explore Vancouver a bit, we were exhausted with very little sleep and didn't have enough time before our bus left to actually do anything anyway. We just came to terms with the idea that we wouldn't be able to see any of Vancouver and just sat in a fast food restaurant that was built in to where we booked out tickets and tried to see if I was able to contact any friends that were living in Seattle and if not start looking at affordable hostel/hotel options in the area. Before long we were loading onto another bus and heading for the US border. We had to get off of our bus to go through customs at the border. It was a pretty relaxed border crossing and despite being told that it was vital I had a form that authorized me to legally cross the boarder (without using a regular port), the guy at the border didn't even ask for it and to not be concerned that there was no stamp indicating that I had even left the US. After that we shuffled back onto the bus and were dropped off in Seattle about 2 hours later. All in All, we had only spent something like 10 hours in Canada, LOL, not even half a day. We walked out of the station and needed to find some food. We were in Chinatown and went to a place with good reviews for some pho. It was good but quite small portions by thru-hiker standards. With no success in finding a friend to stay with, Butt'rs had found us a very cheap hotel/hostel kind of place to stay the night near the Public Market Center. It was fairly affordable and nice to have our own room. We took showers and rested some before heading out to dinner. It was a weird feeling being in such a large city, we hadn't been anywhere this big and full of people in quite a while. We did love taking advantage of all the food choices and decided to have dinner at a Mexican restaurant. All the while we both were somewhat distracted making our plans. I wasn't exactly sure what Butt'rs plans were, he might even stay another day or two in Seattle. But I was in a mad dash to get this last section done before I lost my motivation and was ready to damn near run this last make-up section. It was roughly 300 miles that I had skipped and I had hoped that I would be able to do it in 10 days. I know that might sound crazy, even to me when i first started this trail, but I was pretty sure I could pull it off and be home with a few days to spare before Halloween with Angie and friends. I might be able to hike crazy distances but I am worn out and beginning to feel down right frail at this point. Laying down in a soft bed and not getting up for like a week is literally my fantasy. After dinner, we went back to the hotel and I booked my Amtrak ticket for the next day to Klamath Falls, OR. For nearly half a year we had being doing this simple life at a 2 mile per hour pace and it was completely over for Butt'rs now and I was eager to get back for my last 300 miles. We were in different places for sure, but it is hard to explain how lost you feel when your routine of eat walk sleep is over, you almost don't know how to pass time or what to do next. We just talked and hung out and then went to sleep. The next morning ate some free breakfast included with the stay, said our good-byes, and I was off. I had arranged to have my very first Couchsrufing stay for when I arrived at Klamath Falls. I have hosted tons of people over the course of like 10 years but its kind of funny that this was the first time I successfully found someone willing to host me and I was pretty thankful. I boarded the train and had a really beautiful and scenic trip south, I like Amtrak and wished we had more train travel in the US. It was dark when I arrive at around 10:30pm and worried that I was getting in too late for the family that hosted me, but to my surprise they were up and after making a call to confirm a guy named Patrick was on his way to pick me up from the train station. He brought me to the house where they had a pullout cough ready for me in the living room. I met Michelle and in no time at all we were all bedding down for the night. It had all worked out so well and I was so grateful for them helping me out. The next morning I woke up to a family getting ready for school and their children were very cute and nice, and i loved that they weren't even shy and seemed accustomed to travelers crashing in their living room. It was nice talking to them and getting to know them and most of all, petting their dogs :) They had given me directions to a local donut shop kind of place within walking distance and I grabbed a breakfast sandwich there before walking to a bus weird bus station. I had to wait for a while there for the next bus to take me back to Ashland, where I had previously met back up with Dixie, Butt'rs and the crew. The bus was at least cheap and didn't take very long before I was back in Ashland. The smoke from wild fires was back though and that was again a concern. Throughout the day I walked around town, did yet another Darn Tough sock exchange, ate food and worked out a stay with a trail angel. It was a little frustrating working out timing and location to meet up, after lunch I grabbed some Starbucks and waited for her to meet me there. I got in her SUV and she was super nice. She drove me to her house that was pretty far out of town actually, but also really nice. She had pots and plants and fruit trees and horses and a nice house. We just talked and I help bring in groceries. She said her husband was a firefighter and expressed some concern to me that the trail might be closed in some sections. I didn't like the sound of that but she said I'd be able to talk to her husband and he could double check for me later. Last i Heard it was open, and unless it was for sure closed, I was going to go and really didn't want to immediately have to touch my old spot and road walk around from the get -go. Anyway, it was nice talking to her and it was funny, since its legal now, she said they had grown a bunch a weed on her property this year even though they didn't smoke and there was a huge gallon jar on the mantle full of nugs, lol. She offered me some and I said thank you but I'm good. LOL. Eventually her husband came home and the trail angel (forgot name, sadly) had made us dinner. After dinner and talking to the firefighter husband, who was very skeptical that the trail would be open, actually helped me confirm that it was indeed still open much to his dismay. With that confirmed, he told me that early in the morning he would take me to the place on the trail where I had rejoined my group two months back. I couldn't believe how quickly and perfectly all the logistics had worked out, and how cheaply thanks to so many nice people. They gave me a bedroom and I went to sleep early.
0 notes
Text
Japan Log Day 1
I kind of want to create a log of my time in Japan. I think it’d be fun, and from what I’ve heard, I’d be able to remember my trip better! There may be a day delay for me, at least for day one because that was all flying and lemme tell you, after a 13 hour flight, a 3 hour flight felt like NOTHING, haha. I felt like I played on my DS for a half hour and it was over. So, I don’t know when entirely I’ll post these, or if anyone cares, but I don’t. Because it’ll be fun for me to look back on and remember ;)
Day one - The day of insane travel
Our journey began as most other journeys do, of sitting at home, counting away the hours and having panicked thoughts of what you still need to do and what’s been done. My way of coping was to blast music - sorry Tegan - and stare blankly at a wall. Not productive when packing was half done. Luckily, I got everything ready about an hour before my friend came to pick me up. About ten minutes before, I began to stress clean. I guess that’s exciting? Lilia’s parents graciously took us to Vancouver In'tl Airport (YVR)- Canada. The car ride felt short. Shorter than I thought it was to get to the border. Right before we hit, we got to see the tiny little peace arch. Cool! Going in, the border guard is looking over our passports, doing the routine questions.
Then, he leans in and goes “Alauna?” and I sheepishly correct him as he clearly wasn’t quite sure how to pronounce my name. He informs me that I need to sign my passport and I need to do that before I check in at the airport otherwise they may not let me fly. OOPS! Luckily Lil’s dad had a pen that I could use otherwise I’d have to hunt for somewhere to sell a pen at the airport at MIDNIGHT! Getting into the country, I receive a text from my mobile provider. CONGRATS! T-Mobile works in Canada text/data free, call 20c/min. Neat!
After a pretty good wait in line - China Eastern is apparently a very popular company - and chatting with the nice lady in front of us we reach the airline official. Neither of our passports scanned into the computer. Probably because Lilia’s is 9 years old, mine’s 1 month. He was very kind, making sure that we knew our layover was between two different airports in Shanghai (more on that later, ugh) and asked us if we had any illegal items to which we both said no. He smiled and said “I trust you two, you both look very trustworthy”. He then noticed that we were seated at least 10 rows away from each other. With our permission he changed our seats to be together. Once he got our tickets, he pointed out what information we needed to know. Lilia got seat C, he was going to be in seat B, I in A …. wait. There is no seat B! :P With a very heartfelt thank you, we asked where the gates were and said our farewell.
Getting up to security, was a very small line with a long wait. It looked like the officer’s battery had died on his scanner and had to get a new one. Oh well. After that, it took about 2 seconds to make sure our tickets were valid - phew! and go onto phase two with the bag screening. They instructed us to put laptops in a separate tray. Confusedly, I ask the man why. He mentioned because laptops could be bombs. Which, I never thought about and by the look on my face, he must have understood and had a small smile as we thanked him. Lilia got through security fine. The metal detector beeped for me. Contrats, I’m wearing a bra, because that was literally why the detector beeped for me. Past that, we walked through a small mall with a bunch of stores, and very glittery flooring. Our gate was easy to find, and had a subway near us. We just got chips and ginger ale as we both weren’t feeling fantastic.
There’s not much meant to be said for the flight. Although, as it took off, Lilia looked at me and said; “I regret every jet I crashed in GTA 5”
It was nearly 13 hours and insane. Neither of us slept much, which sucked. But, at least it was quiet as pretty much everyone else did sleep. Except for one guy in the row beside us whose entertainment screen wouldn’t turn off and he was trying to sleep so he had his jacket backwards to cover his face LOL. I did kind of feel bad for him since it was legitimately malfunctioning. Their movie selection was pretty bomb. Lilia and I synced up our screens so we watched Furious 7 together. The airline provided us dinner. I accidentally got shrimp noodles, which thank you that my medicine works, and Lilia got some sort of beef patty and rice. There was also some sort of custard that was similar to cheesecake, but not entirely. It was delicious. We both tried to sleep for a while. Gave up. We got breakfast which was two adorable hash-brown patties, an omelette, and a very undercooked, disease sausage link which neither of us touched. At that point, Lilia started up Day After Tomorrow, and I started Secret Life of Pets … which got interrupted a total of a billion times. I managed to finish SLoP right before they cut off entertainment for landing purposes.
The drive after landing and getting to our gate was probably half the time of our flight. We get another text from T-Mobile. Welcome to China! Your phone has free texting, call 20c/min, and 2g unlimited data! AWESOME!
Immigration was easy, whom also informed us that our connecting flight was in a separate airport, security was easy (they have thermal screening, so that was definitely interesting!), and getting our luggage was SUPER easy. Customs, we had nothing to declare so went through that line no prob, and exited the airport into a throng of people all shouting ‘taxi!’. One guy dogged us for a long time and we eventually rolled with him as the bus to take us to Honquaio was in another hour and we only had four before our other flight. Driving in Shanghai is terrifying. Our driver nearly creamed 2 people on mopeds, and almost hit countless other cars. I never want to drive in Shanghai. As nice as the city was, there was no telltale building style, and all the buildings were insane colors. I saw an apartment complex that was hot pink. OK. We arrive at the airport, to where the cabby swindled us out of a little more money than what we agreed on, but both of us were tired and didn’t care at that point. The line in this airport was about two times longer than YVR, but went quickly enough. Again, getting to our gate was super easy, and we had about an hour of downtime before boarding.
Second flight felt way too short, and they provided us with spaghetti and another of those delicious cluster squares! Hell yeah. I think I played my DS for the entire time, but it was hard to tell since the flight felt super short.
Getting into Japan, immigration was NUTS. The line was insanely long, although it went quickly. Got fingerprinted so if I crime in Japan, they’ll know it was me. Shucks. Too bad I wasn’t planning on anything anyways. We both had our first experience with a Japanese western toilet which I’m now convinced they all have bidets since our hotel toilet has one too. FYI, the seats are very warm when you sit on them, and the one in the airport played gentle music to mask the fact that I had the best racehorse pee in the universe. Sorry, TMI? We get ANOTHER text from T-mobile. HOORAY! Your phone works! Free text, 20c/min call, 2g unlimited data! WHAT?! I wasted $40 on SIM cards before we left, and now we don’t need them! Oh well, lol.
Hitting up the international ATM, my card was declined. WHAT!? I had called my bank, so they should know I’m here! I managed to get the attention of an airport lady who graciously tried helping, but it declined for her too. Lilia was able to get out some cash. What the heck?! We asked the airport lady where the Keikyu line was and if Pasmo was over there, and she instructed us what to do. We thanked her for her time and assistance. Meanwhile, there was another American having the same problem as I. I noticed his card had a chip. Lilia’s didn’t. Ding ding, it’s the chip. We got sodas and some Japanese candy and a fruit cup, got Pasmo’s and went to the station towards Kawasaki - after a little help as we didn’t see our stop.
The train wasn’t too terribly crowded. But, went approximately the speed of a fighter jet. My shoulder and back is still sore for hanging on for dear life while making sure my luggage didn’t go anywhere. There was a lady I kept bumping into and I kept apologizing whenever I did though she just smiled and told me it was OK. There was also a nice man there who watched us to make sure we were OK and whenever another train passed us, make a slight thunking noise, probably had a great internal laugh at my face whenever I had a slight panic about it.
Getting off the station and heading down some steps, there are apparently designated sides which you move. We went down halfway the wrong way, realized, and moved over with our luggage. Sorry! Walking here is definitely interesting. There’s people crossing the streets, not even really looking. I think we saw 1 personal car on our walk to the hotel.
Getting into Noanoa was easy. Manager was SUPER nice, got our luggage taken to the room, and let us stay in the spa room while we waited the last hour before the official check-in time. While there, Lilia opened up her fruit cup, which has jello instead of juice, and I had my candies which were DELICIOUS, and apparently limited time, so guess what I’m buying more of once I get cash? Because Japan is a very cash-heavy type of country.
Our hotel room is a little small, but nothing we can’t handle. I’m sure Lilia feels weird actually being on par or taller than most the people we’ve passed walking to the hotel. We spent half the day exploring the tiny room, seeing what was on TV and being very confused over a child’s show before turning it off. We figured out google translate, and have translated pretty much everything in our room. We still need to figure out the unit on the wall, but we at least know lighting, what the controls are on the bidet, and how to work the mechanical nightmare that is the shower. We put on a Youtube show that we both like, and I crashed just before 7PM after roughly 24 hours of travel and not sleeping. Lilia poked me awake and we officially went to bed around 7PM.
We have not eaten since at least noon on the flight, and it’s going on 14 hours. Yeesh.
Our plans today, as I’m finishing this up around 2PM, is to visit an actual bank so I can hopefully withdraw cash, find somewhere to eat, and hit up a couple parks and museums. There’s also the Keihin Fushimi Inari shine that we’ll probably explore. Today is slotted to be a low-key day as we’re both pretty tired even after sleeping for a solid 12+ hours.
Note: Edited for easier reading
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hello, Vancouver
After almost 24 hours spent either in airports or on planes, I have finally arrived in Vancouver! No one is more thrilled to be typing that sentence than I am - 13+ hour flights and I do not go well together.
Now that I've slept off the jet lag and have spent just over 24 hours in this beautiful, currently-super-hot city, I am finally ready to share my initial thoughts and observations. Brace yourselves: I'm feeling ramble-y.
1. Note to self: pack lightly.
Here's a unsolicited tip for you: the day before you leave on your international adventure, go through every single item you have decided to pack. If at any point you find yourself staring at an object and going 'what is this?', that is your cue to leave the item behind. Absolutely, unequivocally, you will not need it. This is coming from a girl who's had a few 'what is this?' moments after landing with her overstuffed suitcase in a foreign land, so you're going to want to trust me on this one. (I packed a boxed set of dangly earrings that I absolutely, unequivocally do not need.)
Aside from causing you to be faced with the aforementioned 'what is this?' moments, over-packing your bags has serious mental and physical ramifications that you in your jet-lagged, sleep-deprived state, do not want to deal with.
First instance of regret: I arrive at the airport with my parents approximately two hours before my departure time; giant suitcases in hand (trolley), ready to go. I head to the relatively clear check in counter, expecting to breeze through with no problems. I’d already weighed my bags at home and came in a good fifteen kilos under my weight limit. As it turns out, my lack of reading comprehension skills (!) caused me to miss the fact that each suitcase I packed was allowed to be a maximum of 23kg. As it turns out, one of my suitcases was over by 8kg. So I sheepishly push my trolley on over to a clear area and begin to reshuffle.
Friends, if for no other reason, you want to avoid over-packing so that you don't have to encounter your parents' horrified expressions when they realised they've raised a pack rat. 'How many things did you pack?' asks my mum, holding up dress #6 of 22. 'I thought you were going to re-use the clothes!' On the other side of the suitcase my dad's frown is deepening as he fishes out my giant floral mug. 'You need to take this to Vancouver?' (In my defence, that mug is one of the top 20 things ever to happen to me and the UBC packing list did say to bring your favourite mug.) Despite their obvious concern over my life choices, my parents temper their disapproval and instead focus on helping me achieve the lofty goal of reducing my suitcase weight by 8kg.
After a few minutes, we think we've achieved our goal and take our efforts up to the check-in counter and place them onto the weighing scale, hoping we've done it. No such luck; we were only halfway there.
The second time around calls for cuts to be made. My beloved pink blanket that I was hoping I could get away with bringing doesn't make the cut; nor do several dresses. After reaching what we think is the right weight, we weigh the bags ourselves before taking them up to the counter. This time: success.
I gratefully hand my oversized bags to the lady at the counter, tuck my boarding pass into my passport and walk away.
My parents, obviously still disquieted by the pack rat discovery, say nothing about this and instead choose to dwell on the fact that the flight agent didn’t explicitly disclose that each suitcase could only be 23kg, completely missing the fact that I was responsible for this reading error.
Bless. I love them and am going to miss them.
Second instance of regret: I land at Vancouver airport, clear border control and customs and breeze through the doors with my luggage trolley, ready to face the city. Or, more accurately, almost ready to face the city.
First, I have to get my backpack down to a weight that I can actually carry. I go through round one of reshuffling again, only to almost topple over backwards when placing the bag on my back. No deal - I go back for round two. After a few more minutes of revealing the contents of my luggage to the entire arrival lounge, I gingerly place my second attempt on my back and discover that this time, as long as the waist strap is secured tightly, I only have approximately a thirty percent chance of toppling over.
Good enough, I think, and headed towards the train.
Third (and by far the worst) instance of regret: see below.
2. You are not the weirdest sight on the street. (Or how to deal with it if you are)
If I thought getting on the train was hard (and it was), it was nothing compared to the ensuing trek to the hostel.
Google maps told me that it was a fourteen minute walk to my hostel from my station. 'Piece of cake,' said New Zealand Jovita, sitting at her desk with unburdened arms and well-rested legs.
'Oh dear,' said sleep-deprived, newly-arrived-in-Vancouver Jovita, with her heavy-laden arms, staring at the street she needs to walk on, which is on an upwards incline.
I wasn't going to back out of it after having navigated the train system, so I braced myself and began the trek upwards, inch by painful inch.
I wish I was exaggerating when I said this, but I literally stopped every 20 metres - sometimes less. I would stop, stretch my back, and change the arm that was hauling my behemoth of a suitcase before resuming my snail-paced climb.
Though downtown was relatively deserted when I began the trek (I made a mental note that Vancouver-ites are not early risers), there were enough people on the street to make the city not seem like a ghost town and, unfortunately, enough people to notice my mortifying predicament.
On a positive note, my sympathisers were many and included (but were not limited to): a curly-haired proprietress who came out of her store to ask me with a concerned smile if I was lost; a petite brunette woman in an enviably pretty dress who smiled/winced for me as I walked past her; a motherly-looking dog walker who exclaimed 'Your bag is bigger than you are!' when she first saw me and told me with an apologetic grimace that my destination was still seven blocks away. The best of Vancouver's early risers offered their commiseration over my situation.
On a less positive note, there were many more Vancouver-ites who were not so excellent at commiserating and even worse at hiding their smirks and laughter as they passed. With every malicious grin of a neighbouring car and fast-paced stride of a fellow pedestrian, my humiliation grew.
Just as I was on the verge of bursting into tears with physical exhaustion and the burden of my utter humiliation, a smiling woman came up to me and asked if I was going to the hostel. Having heard me say yes, she asked if she could help me with my bag.
I think we all know how this story ends, friends.
That kind woman's name was Sharon and I may or may not name my firstborn child after her.
With the help of the angel that is Sharon, my painful trek up the hill came to an end. I dropped my bags at the hostel and headed into the city to pass the time until I could check in.
I took shelter in my favourite kind of refuge (the library) for a while and eventually began to recover.
But the humiliation of the morning's misadventures still lingered. I wondered if people could see how out of place I was in this cool city; if I had been invisibly but permanently branded as a non-Vancouver-ite.
All of this continued to plague me until, on my way back to the hostel, I went to cross a street and caught sight of a pram out of the corner of my eye. Never one to resist a peek at a cute baby, I turned, prepared to smile at the chubby-cheeked angel I was sure was going to greet me.
Instead, I came face to face with a large black cat.
As I crossed the street I tried to glance discreetly at the pram-pusher, who turned out to be a sixty-something year old woman who wore an expression that clearly said she didn't give a d*mn what people thought of her pushing her portly cat around. More power to her, I thought, and felt the embarrassment of this morning fade a little.
This little incident did wonders for my self esteem and general thinking process.
She's pushing a cat around in a 1970s baby stroller! That's weirder than hauling two bags bigger than you are up a steep street, right? Right?!
As I reflected on that first day I realised I had also seen my first out-in-the-open cannabis store and not one, not two, but three elderly, pot-bellied gentlemen with no shirts on.
I realised that I was probably not the strangest sight on the street.
But, more importantly, I realised that it was okay even if I was.
If the worst thing that happened that day was that Vancouver-ites had a good laugh at my expense - that I provided them with a daily dose of laughter or a silly story to tell around their dinner tables - that was okay.
An inappropriately dressed (long-sleeved dress and fleece-lined tights in full sunshine) Indian girl sweating and struggling with her gargantuan bags up a main street is a funny sight. One I might have laughed at had I seen it myself.
We all have to take turns at living out humiliating moments in public - here's to hoping I don't have (m)any more.
3. Be careful what you wish for.
As I write this, sitting on a park bench, there is a man sitting on a neighbouring park bench not five metres from mine, casually smoking weed.
As I continue writing this, a bespectacled elderly gentlemen with central-Asian roots sits on the park bench recently vacated by the weed smoker and cheerfully strikes up a conversation. 'You're getting some work done!' he begins. I smile and say, 'Yes'. He continues to engage with me for a few minutes, asking me where I'm from and what brings me to Vancouver.
At some point I begin to pull away from the conversation, trying to get back to my writing. He senses this and says, 'I don't want to impose, but give me two minutes and then I'll leave you alone. I promise I'm not a crackpot.'
I take him at his word and concede to this offer - he comes over to sit next to me. 'Hold up your hands,' he says, demonstrating. I reluctantly stretch them outwards and upwards, as if I'm going to give him a double hi-five. He stares intently at my palms for a moment, briefly mumbling something about beautiful hands before straightening up and instructing me to make a fist with my hands, with my pinky finger closest to him. He peers at the closed fist for a moment before sitting up and looking back directly at me.
'You have a lot of wisdom,' he says, 'and your wisdom and your education are going to take you places.' The encouraging flattering, statements in a similar vein continue for about a minute before he switches track and begins talking about my life partner. 'You need to find someone who's as interested in making people as happy as you are. Your qualities will help you to choose the right person.'
I thank him for his words, telling him they're lovely, and return to my writing. Before three minutes have passed, he's returned to my bench, this time with his own laptop in hand. 'Look at this', he says, having opened up a folder of PDFs all under the heading of anthropology. 'One last thing and then I'll leave you alone.'
I think to myself that he said the same thing last time, but push the thought back and allow him to continue. He begins to read aloud his latest piece on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, with reference to similar situations in the far and Middle East (I'd mentioned that I was a political science major). I listen half-heartedly, genuinely interested in what he has to say, but also worried that he's trying to steal my wallet despite his promises to the contrary. I notice a few onlookers from various parts of the park, all staring at me with a mix of amusement and concern. Careful, hon, they say with their eyes.
I turn my focus back to his paper; it's fascinating and well-thought out; a fact I could better appreciate were he not a complete stranger invading my personal space on a park bench. Eventually, I stem the tide of his words and extricate myself as gracefully as possible. He walks away a little disappointedly, but though I feel a little bad, concern for my personal safety trumped my genuine interest in talking to him.
He's still sitting here as I write, staring at his own computer screen while I stare at mine. The silence between us isn't uncomfortable and the sun is still shining so this little encounter, though somewhat disquieting, has not in the least spoiled my day.
-----------
You probably noticed that I entitled this little section of my day-two ramblings 'be careful what you wish for.' This is really true, and perhaps an even more apt title would be 'be careful what you pray for.' It turns out that God really listens.
Before leaving, I hoped and prayed that this time here would be a time unlike anything I had encountered before. I prayed to have opportunities to love people well. I hoped that the city would really be unique and push me outside of my comfort zone.
It's day two and all of these prayers, whether uttered out loud or not, have already been answered.
Park-bench palm readings, 'premium' cannabis stores, more tiny dogs in one park than I have ever seen in my life; Vancouver really is a whole new world.
'You asked for it,' I can hear God saying. I did, and I'm thankful to have gotten it. There's a lot that's happened in the last twenty-four hours; a lot to take in, a lot to learn, a lot to process.
I know that I'll navigate some (read: many) of the coming challenges imperfectly, so much so that I may have to categorise them as failures (see aforementioned packing example), but that is okay.
I didn't come all the way to the other side of the world to feel perpetually comfortable.
I suspect that there will be much mental, emotional and physical discomfort waiting for me in the coming months and though I am daunted by it, I am also thankful for it. Struggle leads to growth and I am desperate to grow in every way possible while I am here.
I'm thankful for a God who hears and answers my prayers in unexpected ways - I can't wait to see what the next five months have in store.
0 notes