#I was Clay

[great-and-small]

Turdus aficionados of Costa Rica please know I love your national bird but this is objectively hilarious

[beepboopappreciation]

Is this anything

[bugwizard]

clay bunyrabits i made over the last month, all will be up for auction on my toyhouse at 3pm EST, friday the 22nd! ^^

[chocopink]

"Gimme a break! Queers never die!"

A tribute for Bon Clay just in time for Pride Month <3

[acecookiesap]

Canon I was there

Clay - "Sleeping?" Apollo - :) I'm going to kill this fucking guy.

College-AU with art student!Apollo ^^

[mroddmod]

but i remember everything

[nevesceramics]

dysphoria

2019

cone 1 terracotta, glaze

[quinquangularist]

im rly enjoying dungeon meshi

[squidflavoredsoup]

he came downstairs finally

i gave up on bribing him w food n left n he kinda just came down on his own n then YELLED at me for food so

i dont got SHIT in this house so i got him a hot pocket

he didn’t like that n kinda threw a fit n i just didn’t wanna deal w that so he went in timeout

[acorviart]

hobby crafts and great and everyone should get into a hobby craft, but I really really really really need people to do at least a little bit of research into what they’re interested in and learn important things such as that fact that polymer clay, air-dry clay, and resin are NOT food safe. yes that includes clay that’s been coated in a clear coat like mod podge (the dishwasher safe mod podge is not food safe)

the reason that some* ceramics are food safe is because glazes melt into essentially a thin layer of glass on the surface, and the clay is heated to a temperature that vitrifies it. and I say some because not all ceramics/glazes/firing temps are food safe, and that’s a whole other deep dive of research for people who get into ceramics. but the point is that most people can’t do that at home, so they look into non-ceramic materials and assume that’s a cheaper and easier way to make food-safe items, when really what’s going to happen is all these materials will leach into your food, especially with heat applied

also can resin creators wear proper PPE with gloves and respirator, I am begging you, that shit is toxic to touch and inhale

[vadlings]

Represention of Autistic Frustration in Laios Dungeon Meshi

Like many other autistic people, I related strongly to Laios Touden while reading Dungeon Meshi. This post isn't going to spend time disputing whether he displays autistic traits or not—while I could do that, I want to focus on why specifically his portrayal struck a chord with me in a way the writing of most other autistic-coded characters has not.

Disclaimer: as the above suggests, this post is strongly informed by my own experiences as an autistic person, as well as the experiences of my neurodivergent friends with whom I have spoken about this subject. I want to clarify that in no way am I asserting my personal experience to be some Universal Autistic Experience. This post is about why Laios' character feels distinct and significant to me in regard to autistic representation, and while I'm at it, I do feel that I have interesting things to say about autistic representation in media generally. This also got a bit long, so I'm sticking it under a read more. Spoilers for up to the end of chapter 88 below.

The thing that stands out most to me in regard to Laios' characterisation is the open anger he displays when someone points out his inability to read other people. This comes up prominently in his interactions with "Shuro" (Toshiro Nakamoto):

The frustration pictured above (Laios continuing to physically tussle with Toshiro, using crude language toward him) becomes even more notable when you remember that this is Laios, who, outside of these interactions, is not easily fazed and often exists as a lighthearted contrast to the rest of the cast. Then we get to Laios' nightmare.

In Falin's words: "Nightmares love emotional wounds. Wounds you hold in your heart. Things that give you stress, or things that were traumatic for you. They aggravate memories like that and cause the dreamer to have terrible dreams." (chapter 42, page 10.) (damn. i'm properly citing for this post and everything.)

Thus, Laios' nightmare establishes an important fact: even if he is unable to recognise social blunders while he's making them, he's at least subconsciously aware that other people operate on a different wavelength to him, and that he's an outsider in many of his social circles (both past and present). His dream-father's disparaging words stress the impact this has had upon his ability to live up to the expectations set out for him, and we also get a panel of kids who smirk at him (presumably former bullies to some degree). Toshiro's appearance only hammers home how much Laios is still both humiliated and angered by his misunderstanding of their relationship.

I've thought a lot about anger as concomitant to the autistic experience. When autistic representation portrays ostracization, it's generally from an angle of the autistic character being upset at how conforming to neurotypical norms doesn't come easily to them; as a result, they express a desire to 'get better' at meeting neurotypical standards, a desire to become more 'normal' (whether the writing implies this is a good thing or not). In contrast, not once does Laios go, "I need to perform better in my social interactions, and try to care less about monsters, because that's what other people find weird." His frustration is directed outward rather than inward, and as a result, it's the people around him who are framed as nonsensical.

The Winged Lion starts delineating Laios' anger, and Laios' reaction is to think to himself, "It can sense all my thoughts, huh?" (chapter 88, page 16.) This is the scene that really resonated with me. I'm not saying I have never felt the desire to conform to neurotypical norms that is borne from insecurity, but primarily, I know that I don't want to work toward becoming 'normal'—I don't want to change myself for people who follow rules I find nonsensical. It's the difference between, "Oh god, why can't I get it," and, "WHY CAN'T YOU GET IT?" (phrasing here courtesy of my friend Miles @dogwoodbite). And for me personally, Dungeon Meshi is the first time I've seen this frustration and the resultant voluntary isolation from other people portrayed in media so candidly. Laios' anger is not downplayed or written to be easily palatable, either.

The culmination of Laios' frustrations in this scene wherein we learn that Laios has fantasised about "a pack of monsters attacking a village" drives home just how alienated he really feels. I need not go into his wish to become a monster himself, redolent of how many autistic people identify/have identified with non-humans to some degree as a result of a percieved disconnect from society (when I was younger, I wanted to be a robot. I still kind of do.)

Obviously, wishing death upon other people is a weighty thing, but the unfiltered nature of this page is what deeply resonated with me. The Winged Lion is laying Laios' deepest and most transgressive desires bare, and they are desires that are a product of lifelong ostracization by others (whether intentional or unintentional). This is the brand of anger I'm familiar with, and that my neurodivergent friends express being familiar with, but that I haven't seen portrayed in writing so explicitly before—in fact, it surprised me because most well-meaning autistic representation I've experienced veers toward infantilisation in trying make the autistic character's struggles easy for neurotypicals to sympathise with.

Let's also not neglect the symbolism inherent to Laios' daydream. "A pack of monsters attacking a village". Functionally, monsters are Laios' special interest—he percieves everything first and foremost through his passion for monsters. His daydream of monsters attacking—killing—humans, is fundamentally a daydream of the world he understands (monsters) overthrowing the world that is so illogical to him, that has repeatedly shunned him (other people). I joked to my friends that it's an autistic power fantasy, and it actually sort of is. And in it, his identity is aligned with that of the monsters, while his anger manifests in a palpable dissociation from the rest of humanity. This is one manga page. It's brief. It's also very, very raw to me. I think about it often.

To conclude, I love Laios Dungeon Meshi. This portrayal of open frustration in an autistic character meant a lot to me, and I hope I've sufficiently outlined why. Also, feel free to recommend media with autistic representation in the notes if you've read this far—I would really like to see if there is more of this nature. Thank you for reading. I'm very tired and should probably sleep now.

[nnobodoodles]

Oh wow, I'm absolutely FLOORED by the response on my Strawhat Screenshot Redraws! Thank you so much, been reading all your lovely tags and smiling SO much!! 💖

Here's Part 2 with requests from Insta plus some. Let me know if there's someone else you'd like to see!

[supine-ly]

clay doodles

[a-lost-crow]

How to save yourself from a lengthy angst fic

[handsometimr]

mr shu takumi i have the funniest idea

[amvipod]

last year i binged moral orel on a whim and then became ridiculously ill about it. fork found in kitchen

nature redraw / orel charm i never finished / s1e1 redraw as a 50s illust / clay age timeline