#I want to shake my little jester hat and make people laugh with silly jokes

[theusernameiwantisntavailable]

I want to be a silly little internet creature unfortunately I am riddled with too much anxiety

[shapeshifting-arch-mage]

12/04/2018

Raver Temmie and I fly on our broom to the Island. When was the last time we were here? We've come here again because we need to buy some glowsticks to pass out to the partygoers who've agreed to come to our private rave party. The one that we never got around to having because we went to Baku's rave over at Port Town's dance club. Now that was an experience.

"hey tem?"

"ya, hooman?"

"wen we get back, were gonna rite Baku a nice thank yu lettr, okay?"

"ooo, yaya!! thank u letr!! dats a grate idea!!1!" We fly our broom to the seaside store, which, unbeknownst to us, now has a new owner...

Raver Temmie and I fly our broom to the seaside store, where we'd last browsed for glowsticks. We dismount our broom, put it back inside our hat, and open the door. "i hope dis time i can find some-"

...The store looks different. We do not remember the store looking like this when we were last here. We step inside and close the door behind us. "h-hooman...?"

"yea?"

"wat happend to da store??"

"i dunno, its been a wile since we wer here. maybe sum1 redecorated it?"

We haven't seen who that someone is just yet, but if he were to look at the one who'd just entered his store, he'd see a bipedal Temmie in a pointy hat who appeared to be having a conversation with herself, as if she were two people.

"ok, but who did it?"

"i dunno." Our eyes look left and right as we take turns talking out of the same mouth.

[Salandit] The lizard frowned a little, holding the sandwich in its mouth. So... he could take random trash he didn't want, give it to this person, and they'd give him sandwiches...? ...He'd have to remember that, then. His tail flicked once more, and... before Jevil even finished his sentence, he was out the door- running at full speed towards... somewhere.

[Jevil] Jevil exhaled happily, tail wagging a bit. From his perspective, it had worked. It now knew the basics of capitalism. He laughed a little, having been greatly amused with the creature. Now though, he had a new priority. His small pointed ears shot up at the sound of the entrance bell and his attention was drawn to the newcomer: some sort of anthropomorphic white cat/dog. Them holding a conversation with themself was slightly off-putting to Jevil, but he wouldn't judge! Well at least he wouldn't let himself be too nervous, he had to serve this creature after all!

"Hello, hello to you, you! You come seeking wares is that true, true? Well, well tell me what you're looking for and I'll see what I can do, do!" Jevil wore his iconic joyous grin, mitten covered hands tucked beneath his chin as he awaited an answer.

[Rave Witch Temmie] Whoa! What was that that just darted by?! We flinch a little as the Salandit runs out the door. Once the door closes again, we turn back towards the counter and...

...Oh dear lord, what the heck is HE doing here?! He's not supposed to be out of his cell! We flinch again when he greets us, and begin to shiver, a look of dread forming on our face as he talks. After he finishes, our shivering culminates in a shudder as we cry out, "w-w-waaaaah!" We then hide our face behind our front paws.

[Jevil] He blinked once at the flinching reaction, deciding that it was only due to how loud he can become and often is to counteract the quieting nature of the shop's fabric walls. His voice would trail off somewhat as he noticed the shaking and expression. Maybe if he was quieter when he next spoke, this customer would be more comfortable here. The shudder and tears truly did distress the imp-like being, causing him to recoil a bit and spend a bit trying to figure out what he had said to cause such a reaction. Or maybe this person had very recently heard the rumors he had spread in his own world. He tensed a bit, taking in a breath, holding his hands out in front of him in the universal sign of harmlessness.

"H-hey calm down, calm down I say! There is no need for tears and no need for fears, I promise you won't be hurt, dears!" He had mainly pluralized it for the sake of rhyming rather than any knowledge of the newcomer's state.

[Rave Witch Temmie] Eugh, that voice... our shivering subsides somewhat, but not entirely. And did he just call us dears? Nnnngh...

We gingerly lower our paws from our face. They feel a bit moist... did we stain them with a tear or two? Oh geez, I didn't even notice- now that I think about it, our eyes do feel a little wet. How embarrassing...

"w-w-w-w-wat'd yu do to da store???"

[Jevil] "Just a little bit of renovation. I added a little things here and there to create what i saw in my imagination! Uee hee hee, and what a creation i've worked to see, see! No harm either considering the shop belongs to me, me!" He couldn't help but smile at the sensation of pride that whirled around in his stomach and warmed his chest. Jevil knew that there could have been countless others who sought this job and store, so he couldn't help but pride himself in the fact that the higher-ups, whoever they might be, had chosen him as the shopkeeper. No matter the poor experiences he has had so far, the bird-based robbery and the assault via spaghetti, he couldn't help but be happy and excited for all the new faces he'll be able to bring smiles to. His T ended tail swayed gently as he stared off into the distance at the thoughts.

Jevil was somewhat embarrassed when he emerged from his little day-dream. "Well, well now that you know my little slice of the resort, may I ask what wares you seek with some importe?"

[Rave Witch Temmie] "i... uh... um..." Oh geez, the little snot's gone and taken over the place, has he? Well, isn't that just faaaaan-tastic!

"human, whys a scary clown guy in da store??" Temmie thinks to me.

"Er, um, well, I don't know, but I'm pretty sure he's actually a jester." I think back. 

"watsa jester??"

"It's just what it sounds like- someone who jests."

"wats that mean??"

"You know... they tell jokes, and act silly..."

"u mean liek a clown??"

"Er..."

...Well, she's got a point there. I suppose if you think of it that way, they are kind of the same thing. Anyway, back to answering said clown/jester/whatever's question. We glance to the side, unable to bring ourselves to make eye contact with him.

"i was, uh... i was g-gonna hav a hapy fun rave party... a-and i-i needa get some stuff..."

"Glowsticks." I remind her mentally.

"o-oh ya!1! glowsticks!!" We say, looking at Jevil briefly before averting our gaze once more, "i needa glowsticks for my friends at da party... i came hear to buy sum befor but dere werent none..."

[Jevil] "Glowsticks, glowsticks..." He echoes in thought, mentally running through his stock, trying to determine if he would have them. For a while he didn't think so until he recalled their wide colour variety and knew where he would have stored them. Her perks up with excitement and giggles.

"Yes, yes I think I have a set in the back, I wouldn't think glowsticks would be something we would lack, lack! Wait here a second and I'll return with the items, I reckon!" With that, the leapt down from his chair, landing with a small thud and symphony of bell jingles. He remained in a crouching position for a second, showing just how small the once-court jester was, before he bounded into the back, passing through the fabric flaps that had matched seamlessly into the wall. A series of bells and other noises emitted from the back room as Jevil scurried about to find the glowsticks he was increasingly certain he had. He remembered having some in his old shop and had brought along many of his unsold wares from there when he moved his base of operations to the island. Where, oh where, though?

Jevil leaned backwards, holding himself up with his tail as he looked through the massive selection of colorful items, a few dozen pinwheels, plastic flowers, ball-pit balls, glow- There they were! He grabbed the glass jar filled with the unused tubes of chemicals and bounced out from the back.

"I return, return with the items you yearn! I have about twenty four glowsticks as you can see here, here now, lean in close, lend an ear: 2 of whatever you have for money each, it's a rather fine deal I preach!"

[Rave Witch Temmie] Once he goes to the back room and out of our sight, Temmie whispers to me, "whys he so scaryyyy...??"

"uh, cuz of his creepy face an' his creepy voice an' his, uh, "chaos chaos" thing, or sumthin?" I whisper back.

"wats dat???" She asks.

"i dunno, youd have to ask him!" I reply.

...Wait, I shouldn't have said that. I don't want us to ask him- oh no, he's back. Wait, are those... Hey, look at that, he does have glowsticks! Who would have thought?

"...Lean in close and lend an ear? ...Really?" I think, "Hardee har har. Just because we have four ears doesn't mean we're lending that creep any of 'em!"

"uh... o-okay, y-ya, ill buy em all..." We nervously approach the counter and pay 24 credits.

[Jevil] He giggled slightly, eyeing the 24 credits.

"I believe you miscounted, miscounted! 24 credits is only enough for half of the glowsticks, not all of them, them!" He seemed rather amused by the situation though, holding onto the product a little while longer as he waited to see if they will accept only half or seek out the remaining 24 credits to pay. He thankfully seemed to be rather patient, his tail wagging slightly as he hoped up onto his chair, putting the jar of glowsticks on the counter.

"Now now, would you like to pay the full price for all of them, them, or pay what you've already paid and take only half of them, them?"

"awawawa!!1 oh nooo!1 im sorry!11! heres da rest!1!"

We quickly put 24 more credits on the counter and then take a few steps back. Geez Louise, what is with us tonight? We already embarrassed ourselves in front of this guy once; we just had to go and do it again, didn't we! Sheesh...

[Rave Witch Temmie] ...Oh, wait- the glowsticks. We can't pick them up from over here. We'll need to walk back toward him to get them- actually, no, we won't! That's right! We're a Temmie! We stick our arms out in front of us and stretch them towards the jar of glowsticks.

[Jevil] He gave an amused laugh, happily accepting the payment and pushing the jar forwards towards them, blinking as they backed away. Frankly Jevil really wasn't sure what to make of this person, he was completely unfamiliar with Temmies after all.

"It's alright, alright! You can take the glowsticks whenever you'd li-" He was taken aback by the way the customer's arms seemed to just burst forward towards him. He looked absolutely horrified for a moment, recoiling as far back as he could, taking in these rapid, quick breaths. He had his eyes squeezed shut, not opening them up again until he thought it was safe. He pressed a gloved hand into his chest. Nothing happened. He was ok. He was ok. Seam didn't come back for revenge. It's ok. He's fine. Jevil took in a deep, shaky breath.

"Sorry I... I wasn't expecting that, that..."

[Rave Witch Temmie] Whoa, hold on... we scared HIM? Are we seeing this right? Did he just dart back behind the curtains again when we reached for the jar? You've got to be kidding... He's the creepy one, not us! What's so scary about us stretching our arms out, we wonder? Maybe being in this body for so long has made me forget that Temmies can be off-putting to those who aren't used to being around them...

We grasp the jar between our paws and then retract them towards us.

"uh... y-yu ok??" We call out.

[Jevil] "Y-yes, yes! I'm ok! Just- just shaken is all, all..." He emerged still looking very much unnerved. He fidgeted with his thumbs almost as if trying to distract himself from something, yellow eye-dots tiny in residual fear. He glanced off, making sure not to look at the creature's arms, part of him terrified they'll come after him again if he looks.

"Just shaken..." He repeats, taking in a deep breath. He tries to shake himself out of the fear, forcing a small smile until it became genuine. "But don't worry about that now, now, if there anything else you want or shall we say ciao?"

[Rave Witch Temmie] "is dere, uh..." Temmie remembers something she wanted to ask him. The thing I didn't want her to ask him.

"Temmie, no! Don't-"

"w-wats ur "chaos, chaos" thing?? human dint want me to- mmf!"

Since both our paws are full, I press the jar against our mouth to silence her.

[Jevil] "My chaos, chaos thing?" He seems confused for a moment, wondering what they could be referring to. Perhaps a combination of his repetition and his shop's title perhaps?

"Well if you're asking about the shop's name, that's easy, easy! It's important, so important not to fall into routine or it could suck up all your glee, glee! So I made a little shop back home just like this one, one where people can come and buy the things they need while also having a little fun, fun!" He giggles happily, tail wagging, mind seemingly off whatever had him so terrified before.

"As for saying things twice, twice, well I'm just following my own advice! Keep things fun, keep things nice, and life is sure to entice, entice!"

[Rave Witch Temmie] Sigh... why'd she have to ask him that...? Thanks to her, we had to listen to him yap at us in that spooky voice again! Though, on the other hand, I'm now very confused by his answer. We were not talking about this store, or his quirky speech patterns, at all. I had wanted to leave as soon as we'd bought our glowsticks, but now, I'm curious as to why he didn't seem to know what we were really referring to.

I decide to take control of our mouth from Temmie for a moment, and ask, "yu had anothr store? wat yu mean?? what happend to da cat guy??"

[Jevil] His mood shifted to discomfort at the mention of "da cat guy". Well, there was another question in there so he could ignore that part for longer.

"Yes, yes, I had another store, store. I opened it myself after the King decided he didn't want a court jester anymore, anymore. I could have done anything, anything indeed, but I thought that a shop of fun is what the kingdom would need. Then, then just recently, I got a letter in the mail, mail asking if I would be interested in coming here to do sale! I took it, took it I did, and that's why the island I now work amid!"

[Rave Witch Temmie] We shiver a little again as we listen to his creepy, singsong rhyming.

"yea, but, wat about dat cat guy, da one wit da button eye?"

Oh geez, now he's got us rhyming, too! Curses!

"i thot he was suppost to hav a store!1"

[Jevil] Oh god they really were talking about him. Jevil's pupils started to shrink again, seeming to grow panicked again. He seemed to grab onto his tail for comfort.

"I know who you're talking about but not what. Seam went mad years, years ago, it was very unfortunate... I just hope that now that his life in done, he isn't insane in heaven." He seems to be shaking a bit, really not wanting to recall those memories. That battle. That grin. By god, that grin. He tried squeezing it out of his mind, pressing his eyes shut and holding his head. That grin. That grin. It persisted even as Jevil had watched Seam rip his arm half-off to use as a weapon. He let loose a whine, shivering.

[Rave Witch Temmie] Our face goes blank. "...hes ded??"

[Jevil] Jevil nodded, trying to return to reality the best he could. Trying to pry himself away from the memories. Away from that battle. Jevil had technically won, but that did nothing to help his conscious. He held onto his tail tightly.

"Yes... Yes the once magician is gone, gone like the rain, only I, the once jester, remain."

[Rave Witch Temmie] Our jar of glowsticks in hand, we take several more steps back, uneasy at the thought of Seam being dead. Or at least I am. Temmie doesn't know who he is. While Jevil laments his loss, we back out the door with our purchase.

[respect-the-gryphon]

((Jabberwock no kuni no alice draft))

((Mun needs to get this shit on the road. But she writes way too much. Also the chapters will not ilbe in proper cause im brainstorming the format before the final draft. this is after Joker no kuni no alice if she picks Blood, but she hasn’t let anything go of her past yet.doesnt make senses? Too bad. ))

.chapter 1 ????????????? “….Why am I here again?” The path was a familiar one indeed. Too familiar. Fists clenched and the swallow of invisible air down to the pit with nervous tension. The forest road littered with a mess of trees with paste-on door frames and hinges. Cloudy tones of nature and faraway music of a carnival. It echoed down like a hallway, only getting louder when one draws closer. An uncomfortable warning of what could be in stored. A cause soft breeze was safe, but the end of the path only knows the opposite. The brunette knew. She was on this road before and only believe that it was over. April season was drawing to closure as her unclear ending of the story. Was she never really free from that cell? “Joker? Why am I here again?!” The girl trails down in her red ribbon mary janes to the dirt way. Balls of fist planted by her petticoat and breaths of alert and anxiety. Bits of her mind wasn’t correctly putting things together. It was playing paranoia about everything, including her existence in this realm. Wasn’t the season ending? Why was she here again? Was it all a lie? “Alice….” A whisper reverb down the open space, drawing blue eyes at the direction. “Don’t look back…” That voice. That calm, but a sadistic voice. “Joker!” First instinct was to splint down the road, tired legs galloping dust and debris behind. “Joker!” Alice’s voice was wheezing her energy out with every few steps as if running away from terror behind. “Why did you pull me back here!? Return me back!” The colorful forest was becoming dull, and the breeze only sprays burning charcoal and ash. It cues Alice to pause her pace and cover her face from the gray smoke. She withdraws and heaves for oxygen, coughing.  Her left arm shielding her eyes while the other covered her lips and nose. Was that fire?! A fire here?!“ “Hurry Alice… You’ll miss the grand finaile.” The carnival music that didn’t register was breaking down, gargling in broken notes and broken rhythm. A smacked music box choking out the last loop of its song. It sounded demonic. The childish laughs switch to screams of distress. The vision from Alice was fading as she fell on her knees, the smoke was getting too much for her, what little in the lungs limited versus the casting dark of smoke. “Silly girl. Tired already?” A sudden gust of wind brush through the smug black directly in Alice’s way to clean her space and lungs despite the chaos surrounding her. Gasping and coughing, the poor girl finally squints her eyes open at the casting shadow over her. A piercing hand extended for her casually. “I wouldn’t think you would be this late, my dear. You miss the final performance.” A gentleman in pattern jester clothes stepped back to give room to fix herself. Red hair with soft, droopy crimson eyes matching a smile of peace. “Though I don’t believe there will be another show for a while I’m afraid.”   “Joker!” Alice finally got her composer together, fixing her ghastly appearances and wrinkled dress down. A glare set at the ringleader who just tilted his head acutely. “W-What do you want from me? Why am I back here? April Season is over-” A mix of orange light dance behind the taller male, her eyes widen in horror, speechless. The tent of glory and amusement of the circus engulfed in flames. The cloth was slowly becoming ash, and the support beams were gradually disappearing, creating the remaining parts of the tent to collapse. The worst part was the cries. The crying and screaming for help. People were trapped in the circus and stuck in the burning death trap. “Oh my god!” The girl shook, hands over her mouth, visibly shaking. Not even a question, just inhales and tears. Only frozen there, shocked there wasn’t anything defusing the fire or saving lives. “Yeah, it’s a shame.” A sound of annoyance presented in the Jester’s voice. It turned into a stool closer to the sight of destruction before him. “I forgot my cards in there. I did leave them with Black last time. And last time I saw him, He was inside. What a shame indeed we can’t play cards one last time-” “You monster!!” Alice accused, wiping tears from her cheeks, pushing herself off her bruised knees and onto her feet. “How could you be this cruel and kill all those people!? What are you trying to prove?!” The Jokers were cruel, but this was too far. For what? A shock value?! To scare her? At this point, it was best to jolt and pray for the peace of bed if one is dreaming. “Hm?” He leans his head for the moment before chuckling as a practical joke happened before him. “You thought I did this? No, No. I enjoy my job very much to do something like this.” Joker stepped closer to Alice, the flame behind him growing brighter. “It’s only a particular cycle of the game not needing my presence. A special round.” “Special round?” Alice still shaken, knees bend as she shifts backward from Joker. “I don’t believe you.” It was still the season of lies, and after everything she went through with this season, it was enough. “My friends would have told me. Blood would have…” She paused. But would he though. Doubt crossed her mind. “He would have, right?” A hand of hers placed close to her chest. “Sadly, the Hatter wouldn’t know either. None of them do. It’s a surprise for all of them. This event is very extraordinary.” Joker joyously twirl his jester hat, hearing the jingle of bells with each loop. “Many rules will be broken, lives at stake. It will all fall apart so fast if someone fails. The question is, are you ready for it?” “Joker. Please just let me go home.” He examined the hat for a moment, ignoring her plea. “It will bring the worst out of people. I wonder what it will do to you when I’m not around…I just worry that you would be safer behind bars than what’s going to happen next.” The fire was creeping closer, swallowing down the grass by the man’s feet. “It will really put your demons to the test. Bring them to life.” It follows around the rubber sole and leather fabric to snag the pants around him and hurry up his leg. “There’s a poem that reminds me of your possible redemption. I hope it doesn’t end this world though. How sad it will be to have the hero die in the end.” “The fire!” It was too late, the fire race around Joker’s clothes and skin like paper. The tone he continued to speak despite his limited moments while the fire began to eat his existence away. The red hair male, walked closer to Alice who couldn’t move in fear. He became the dancing flame with the burning forest of red and heat. Joker reached for Alice. “I hope to see you win against the Jabberwocky. I’ll be rooting for you…..” A sinister laugh broke out mixed with pain, skin melting off of bones. Only screams and crying came from Alice as she felt paralyzed in her spot, dreading for escape while boney fingers tugged her muscles up to restrain her movement. Yells for help didn’t echo while she was forced to stare at the melted skull of the ringleader who only laughed at her misery, moving its head to reveal a large shadow figure of a creature, lunging from the fires of hell. A growl of sharp teeth hinges over to devour the offered victim into blackness. “N-Noooo!” A distress cry with sheets crunch into the fists of the girl in the bunk bed. Troubled eyes were darting at the ceiling under a pool of sweat. It took a few minutes for the outsider to remember that she was back in reality, but her back remains on the mattress. It was just a nightmare. A terrifyingly one as well. A sick joke. But where was Nightmare in it? He would have known. “….Do I have to ask?” A question from a startled Clockmaker from below the bedside. With his hair sticking out like a scared cat, eyes bugging at the other. —-lets end it here because i write too much–