#I want to see Kim sporting those donks

[urjabhi]

I haven’t seen this on wiki yet, so I post it here. DJs Mesh and Flacio, neon Speedfreak sneakers donks and radio transceivers (perfectly adequate transceiver, highly advanced Esterhaz and highly expensive Kristallsprach)

[junker-town]

2019 women’s World Cup teams, ranked by how much fun they are to watch

The best teams aren’t necessarily the ones you want to watch early in the tournament. These teams are the most fun.

In an ideal world, you’d probably like to watch every game of the 2019 women’s World Cup. But most people have don’t have that kind of time, and instead have to pick and choose which days to take off work, or which games to record.

I’d like to help. Here’s every team in the World Cup categorized by entertainment value so that you know how to prioritize your World Cup viewing.

I would like this team to lose all of its games

Norway — They may not be a bad team. They may not even be a defensive team. But reigning Ballon d’Or winner Ada Hegerberg refuses to play for her country because she feels Norway have poor tactics and an unprofessional training environment. Rather than work it out with Hegerberg, Norway have chosen to back their coaching staff and leave her at home. I don’t really care if they’re right or not, I just know that I wish I got to watch Hegerberg at the World Cup.

Defensive teams, but understandably so

South Africa — Center back and captain Janine van Wyk will keep them from getting blown out, but don’t expect Bayana Bayana to win any points.

Chile — It’ll be fun to watch goalkeeper Christine Endler make some acrobatic saves, but Chile rarely gets the ball anywhere near the box against top opponents.

Thailand — This entirely domestic-based squad looks like it has improved considerably over the past four years, but they’re still going to play a defensive style of soccer and probably fail to score against the United States and Sweden.

Disappointing!

Brazil — A team with Marta really shouldn’t be boring, but Brazil has lost nine games in a row and was shut out in four of them. I want to believe they’ll step it up in France and we’ll see one last Marta master class, but there’s no evidence that she has enough help to shine.

New Zealand — They’re OK when playing 10 players behind the ball, and get shredded if they open up even a little bit. Their best attacker, Hannah Wilkinson, is coming back early from an ACL injury and not yet 100 percent. Don’t expect much.

Argentina — Estefania Banini and Sole Jaimes are very capable of entertaining if they actually get the ball. Don’t expect them to get the ball very often.

Totally decent

Nigeria — No longer an underdog, Nigeria has one of the best front lines in the entire tournament. The question is whether their midfield can keep the ball well enough for those players to shine.

South Korea — Ji So-yun is one of the best attacking midfielders in the world, but South Korea probably leans a bit too heavily on her to be one of the best teams in this tournament.

Japan — A team in transition, Japan is solid but unspectacular. They have a lot of great youngsters on the way and some legends hanging around, but they’re short on prime-age stars. They’ll be average unless one of their three under-21 forwards has a breakout tournament.

Spain — The Spaniards might be the best team in the world at keeping the ball in midfield, but seem to lack a killer instinct in both penalty areas. They really need forward Jenni Hermoso to stop trying to be a playmaking midfielder and start running at goal.

China — A little too structured to ever be one of the tournament’s most fun teams, though Wang Shuang tries her best to entertain on her own.

Italy — Forget all the cliches about Italian football, this team plays 4-4-2 with attack-minded midfielders. They probably lack the experience to show their best at this tournament, but they’ll be trying to score, at least.

Sweden — The cowards you and Hope Solo remember from the Olympics are gone. New manager Peter Gerhardsson is a bit more ambitious than his predecessor, Pia Sundhage.

Entertaining underdogs

Jamaica — Assuming Khadija “Bunny” Shaw recovers from the knock she took on her knee in a warmup friendly, this team is going to be a blast. Shaw was the world’s leading scorer in World Cup qualifying and will increase the salary on her first pro contract with each impressive performance. A few other impressive Jamaican-American and Jamaican-British attackers switched allegiances to join the Reggae Girlz for this tournament too.

Scotland — Kim Little is one of the best attacking midfielders in the history of the sport and Erin Cuthbert looks like a superstar in the making. Their defense is questionable, but they’re also going to score some bangers.

Cameroon — Ajara Nchout and Gabrielle Onguene are a lethal attacking tandem, and the addition of Cameroonian-American defender Estelle Johnson to the squad is only going to enable the attack to take more risks.

Pretty fun top tier teams

USA — The USWNT are the No. 1-ranked team in the world and have recent wins over everyone. They’re capable of hanging five goals on anyone. They also occasionally look like they don’t know how to break down good defensive teams and squeak out some boring 1-0 wins.

France — France’s most accomplished players are central defender Wendie Renard and defensive midfielder Amandine Henry. That’s not a bad thing at all — they’re probably the most well-balanced team in the tournament — but it does mean they’re not quite the most fun.

England — This team has potential to be one of the tournament’s great entertainers, but manager Phil Neville has been picking safer lineups recently. Give us Beth Mead! Give us Georgia Stanway! You coward.

Canada — When she was in her prime, Christine Sinclair could play up top alone for Canada and generate plenty of scoring chances. But at 35, she needs a partner in crime, and it’s not yet clear who that’s going to be. Janine Beckie and Jordyn Huitema both run hot and cold.

Must watch

Germany — Germany fans will be wondering if their central defenders are good enough to win the tournament. That’s a legitimate concern, but that doesn’t really matter for our purposes. Expect both teams to score in most of Germany’s games, and the Germans to score more. Dzenifer Marozsan is the best playmaker in the world and Lea Schüller is a spectacular up-and-coming attacker.

Netherlands — Hands down, the Oranje have the most lethal front four in the world. Vivianne Miedema led FA WSL in scoring, Danielle van de Donk set up most of those goals, Shanice van de Sanden just won the Champions League, and Lieke Martens was the 2017 world player of the year. These four have been together for a long time too, so expect some pretty combinations.

Australia — The Matildas top this list specifically because their defense sucks. And of course, because they have Sam Kerr and Caitlin Foord up top.

Kerr has scored 12 goals for Australia since the start of 2018, and 79 goals in her last 83 club matches. Behind her, Foord has been willing to do a lot of dirty work, as well as passing Kerr the ball. Their attack is fantastic. But they’ve also conceded eight goals to the USA and Netherlands in their last two matches.

Bet the over on Australia games.