#I want to go into funeral services but I've also considered trying to get a job in a record/music store of some kind

[corset]

I frankly am just so excited to go to a doctor. I'm tired of feeling like I'm trying to live my life and I'm being dragged around on the ground by my ailing health like a corpse instead

[silvertsundere]

Silver Talks AniManga (17/09/23)

turns out we actually got jump today after all let's go babyyyyyy also one more new series in this serialization round next week but it's about ice skating so not super interested, but we'll see how it is

blue - finale/completed green - new series/new to me

Anime

Atelier Ryza Ep12 (Finale)

nice and chill finale for a chill anime. no sequel announced or hinted at so I guess that was the point of them adding that plotline with empel and lila hunting down the philuscha monster thing. anime was nothing to write home about, the animation was serviceable and never really dipped in quality because of that, the music was from the game so it was good and the voice acting was good as well. some episodes felt really slow but it just be like that when you're adapting a JRPG let alone an atelier one lol. I enjoyed it overall anyway, ryza is super cute and I love her so this anime was basically just an excuse for me to indulge myself in her cuteness for 20 minutes. they also had a lot of klaudia ryza moments which I greatly appreciate. if you've never played the game and want to know if this is a good introduction/starting point.. you should just play the game. you don't really get anything out of this you wouldn't out of the game and you get the whole story instead of just like half of it.

Pokemon Horizons Ep22

nice and action filled episode for once with the return of the original villains and the appearance of this pink chicken. I thought it was p funny moltres is another of the ancient party members since the other is shiny ray and the arboliva which isn't legendary but we'll see how the rest of the party is. also the episode ended on a cliffhanger and I thought that was fucked up since the anime is gonna be on break 2 weeks between cours but that's apparently only next week tehe

Manga

Do Retry Ch19 (Finale)

nice final chapter for do retry, 18 felt a lot like a finale too but this one was a timeskip, all the way to present day, following aozora's grandkid, him going to his funeral and learning about his past. as for the series overall it was...ok. it started with a good impression with some strong art fruit of the author's previous assistant work for matsui but the quality wasn't consistent. the story felt alright at first but as soon as MMA entered the magazine you could really see the gap in their quality. ofc it's not that fair to compare a newcomer to a veteran but still. and then came the cancelation which made the story speed up even more which didn't help it either making it end up as a pretty weak series. I'd say the author could do a better job on their next series but I think they'd be better suit to do some more assistant work for a bit before trying again, but hey I'd rather read another do retry than ichinose so it's not all bad.

Kagurabachi Ch1

hey that was pretty good, I liked it a lot more than mamayuyu last week. the art looked serviceable during the downtime scenes but I really liked how the action looked. also, as is known, I'm a huge slut for swords so having a katana based series like this is like a treat, just for me :). not much to say about the story since they didn't really reveal much either, seems like a standard fare revenge story but we'll see how it goes.

Kaiju 8 Ch93

the hoshina fight is finally over, it was a lot longer than I expected considering the others but it was VERY cool I've always liked hoshina since he's a Swordsman™ and this fight really showed how cool he is. was pogging out my gourd when he went santouryuu. only 2 more fights left now til we get the big climax one with hibino

MamaYuyu Ch2

oh hey would you look at that, I guessed it right last week and their world is getting invaded by demons. we'll see next week how the action goes cause it'll be mc's first time fighting. also gonna take some more time to get used to the weird paneling but it had some neat ones like chap 1 again

Blue Box Ch117

great chap, not only did taiki get his first major w but we also had this cute moment with him saying natsu's name without the honorific

Martial Master Asumi Ch13

great chap too, nito's first official fight started off with a bang and we finally got to see his long teased super move. ofc the next fights won't be so easy but that makes me look forward to them more

[appleatcha]

I just wanna write for a minute. I don't feel like everything has fully hit me yet. People talk about how stressful end of life planning is, but I never fully grasped it. I have people I never knew texting and calling me all day and night and wanting to talk. My husband's dad has different wishes than my husband had for how his remains would be handled, and his dad is notoriously not always the best guy, so that is stressful.

I got a funeral home picked out and gave the info to the ME (husband had to be autopsied). Finally a breath of fresh air and something to check off the list. But then his dad calls and says there's 25k at the funeral home he had picked out. Now he is coming over tomorrow and im fucking terrified. My parents said they'd come over to help if things go south.

I have to pick a memorial date. I have no clue when to pick. I'm also considering if I am going to move or not. My sons school starts in just a few weeks. Got the open house letter in the mail today. I don't know if he will be attending that school at this point. People are sending me songs they think would be good at the memorial service. I promised one of his best friends to set up a zoom call so he can still be there.

My husband was the strong one. He handled things with an iron fist. I'm overwhelmed. I wanted to just sleep in today but I got so many calls right at 8 am that I had to just get up. The outpouring of love is wonderful but its also a little suffocating. But I feel like I need suffocated right now so I don't drown.

I haven't cried much today, but I think I'm still just numb and in shock. Also my friend took me out to walk around. I've barely gotten off of my phone, but I haven't looked at anything. I check my messages to make sure I haven't missed anything and then I scroll mindlessly without actually looking at the screen.

I am trying not to think of any of the bad intrusive thoughts. The funeral director told me when his time of death was. I feel sick.

I don't want to cry. I don't like crying. I don't like feeling overwhelmed with emotion. I have to tell my son in the coming few days. I feel sick. My husband is never coming home. My son may never remember him.

I wish this was a nightmare. I don't know how this can be real. I wish I wasn't alone right now. But the only person I want is my husband. My sister asked where I want to be in regards to moving. I didn't know how to say I don't want to be anywhere anymore. Nowhere is good without him. Everything I dreamed of required him.

I hope he was truly happy. I hope he didn't hurt. God I just hope he didn't realize what was happening.

[nerves-nebula]

oh shoot sorry it sounded like prejudice, my apologies

(long, also tw??) It's more like in my town there's only like 2 motels and one is 1000% a love motel (which, not saying those are bad, but that building is such a health hazard that it gets closed down a lot. Anyone going there is risking their life tbh). And the other one shut down a while back after the roof collapsed.

There's a fair bit of shady things that go on around here (we're a town that's big enough to be considered a city but it's more like a small town that just kept growing to include other small towns. It's weird and means that there's sections of town that's built up and large sections of older houses kinda falling apart) which means we're uhh on route between larger cities for not great things. (trafficking, kidnapping, etc sorta bad stuff).

Even though there's strict gun laws here there's a surprising amount of covered up shootings (and in general murder and unnatural deaths) that happen, like we're not in america and we have multiple-times-a-year shooting drills at school. Our town was once called the murder city before the 2000s lol.

It's more for general safety, though there's a huge homeless issue here. There's not enough homes, rent is extreme, there's far more people than there should be dying on the streets of overdoses, etc etc and a lot of covering it up/it not being reported/publicized. However the locations of the motels are too far from the main downtown so it's more of a "it's horrible that people have to choose between the streets and walking for an hour or three for an overpriced mouldy room".

ig that's just reflective of the current climate here, I could go on but the town's gotten pretty bad lately. Cops suck, town section divides, stalking/harassment, and all the other stuff I could go on about. It really is terrible that there's nothing happening to push for more affordable housing and help for those that need it, and I really really hope the best for everyone in a bad situation (i myself was homeless for a month before getting an overcharged room with a shady dude. I ended up sleeping in trees lol) but it's like balancing between sympathy and not wanting to get attacked, hate crimed, stalked, or whatever else.

Not to say that it'll happen the moment someone goes outside, but it's also like.. more common than it should be. I've had some run in with people on the bus harassing me and trying to find out where to find me where there wouldn't be surveillance. It's pretty easy to find drug deals going on. There's extremely few mental health resources and even less that are even available and there's a huge shortage of doctors. There's a tent town that has appeared in the news coercing children into "moving in," and the police basically said the kids are choosing to run away and if the parent's can't stop them it isn't their issue. A guy one of my cousins was dating was shot by a cop because his older brother was involved in all that (RIP).

ig it's a thing my parents taught as a way of protection. Kids in our family get pocket tools (aka protection aka legal way to carry a knife) once you're old enough to be out and about on your own, and it's probably added to a part of the family having to talk to protective services because of gang related issues and other stuff. My uncle (ayy hunter moment) on one side is a known child predator with a group of friends with similar tastes and has tried kidnapping a different cousin (and possibly other kids) and tried doing that to me at his own son's funeral (my name was changed so I could better avoid him). He's connected with my aunt who was forced into a situation where they were group raising kids and a few died and child protective has done nothing :/

We ain't rich and it's more of developing a radar of "will that place kill you or not" sorta thing, possibly related to all the shit happening in my family. Like there's SO many people cut off because they've tried killing kids or other stuff. We've been robbed the few times. My family will choose to park the car outside of the city and sleep in it rather than use the motel rooms, or camp in the better seasons. We had to do that when I was in grade 7 because we were homeless for a few months. Had a lot of sleep overs that time lmao.

Sorry for rambling, I've been trying to move outta here for a while but the nearest towns are pretty bad too. The only times I've been to the motel is when helping out my cousin who does prostitution sometimes and sometimes has had clients that are too much trouble so there's definitely some trauma association there.

Anyways I'm glad to hear that outside of my town outside halls are good and not a sign of risk!!

no need for apologies i was sure you had reasons and I didn't necessarily expect an explanation, it just reminded me of stuff going on in my home town is all.

im sorry you're in such a shit situation, it sounds awful. I hope you can move away sooner rather than later. but for now your "will that place kill you or not" radar seems useful so I'm glad you have it.

and i dont mind rambling. i like to hear about other people's lives (in case that wasn't clear from me reading and responding to almost every ask I get hah) and I like hearing why you think the things you do, or why you have certain associations that I don't. its always interesting.

[gra-sonas]

Roswell, New Mexico certainly knows how to raise the stakes. In the Season 3 premiere, Maria experienced a foreboding premonition that unfolded at a funeral, one that possibly placed Dr. Kyle Valenti in the casket. The Reaper came close to claiming Kyle after he was impaled and bleeding out -- until Max saved him. But then Kyle went missing.

Soon, Alex discovered Eduardo Ramos had been keeping a comatose Kyle tucked away safely, after someone had injected him with an unidentified drug. Now that Kyle is awake and back on his feet, he wants answers… but he might not like what he unearths.

Roswell, New Mexico star Michael Trevino recently spoke with CBR about Kyle's evolution, that funeral vision, the Valenti legacy and possibly directing an episode in Season 4.

CBR: After portraying a hybrid werewolf on Vampire Diaries, what was interesting about playing a normal human in Roswell, New Mexico?

Michael Trevino: It was just that. To be able to play a human, with these supernatural elements happening around you, that you are not necessarily part of, but you are there to reflect the human reaction of that. Being a part of Vampire Diaries, I was in that supernatural element. With this, I couldn't get too far away from it in my career, but it's about reacting to those things.

With Kyle Valenti, it's a role that is definitely more grounded for me, but hopefully, it is grounded for the audience. That's their character they can identify with. How would you react to being in Roswell, New Mexico, hearing about aliens, figuring out that they are around and live amongst you, and that perhaps there are more aliens out there?

Kyle could have been a local cop, a lawyer, a business owner. How happy are you that the writers have incorporated his medical/surgeon profession into the narrative?

Michael Trevino: For one, you figure with these aliens being around and anything going wrong with them, there would have to be some type of medical element. The whole lore of alien and alien autopsies, we need to have a character like that in Roswell. For me, to be a surgeon and then worked into everything that's happening with these three aliens in Roswell, it's big for Kyle.

This season, Maria experienced a funeral vision, and it seems to be Kyle's body in the casket. What were your thoughts on that development and what it meant for Kyle?

Michael Trevino: For me, Kyle seems to be the common thread throughout all the storylines. I'm really happy about that, being on this show and that the writers have done that. Although Kyle seems to be the one helping put out all the fires and he's there for everyone, being a good friend and doing whatever is asked of him, it would make sense that Maria is having these visions. Kyle might, or might not, have something to do with that. We are going to see that play out. Kyle is on everybody's minds. We are wondering what's going on with him. Where is he? That makes the most sense because he's there for everybody else.

The writers have "maliciously" teased and taunted viewers by continually putting Kyle in harm's way. Has that been part of the fun of this mystery, that "will they or won't they kill him" at any given moment?

Michael Trevino: It's safe to say that nobody is safe in Roswell. I do like that they've kept choosing Kyle to tease a bit. There's a warm spot for Kyle. He's a good guy. I watch the show and I'm like, "Damn. This guy is doing his best and trying to be there for everybody. It's a nice feeling."

Considering Kyle was painted as a dick in high school, there's been a lot of growth and evolution from him into a better person.

Michael Trevino: Yes, I believe this Episode 3.09 is a big turning point for Kyle. We find out a little bit more of his backstory. He's finding that out in real time. That can be frustrating. We see that emotion in Kyle. But this is finally where he takes a stand. He makes a hard decision. He's either going to go left or he's going to go right. He's carved out his path. "This is what I'm going to do. This is how I want things to be."

Moving forward, how focused is Kyle on uncovering the unknown assailant, who injected him with that paralytic drug, which left him bedridden?

Michael Trevino: Where we find him, he's reached his limit. He's been there for everybody, and he tries to put out fires. But, in this episode, he's really frustrated and it's kind of taken a toll on him. The last time we saw him, he was in a hospital bed in a barn. It's, "What is going on? What is happening?" He wants more answers. We are going to see him get those answers. But, then also, frustrated because, "Why me? Why is this happening?"

Kyle also learns some startling information about his father, the code that he lived by and more about that creepy little radio. How is Kyle unpacking all of this because it's a lot to take in?

Michael Trevino: He's trying his best to process everything he's discovering. But like anybody else, he has this idea of what the Valenti code is, of who Jim Valenti is, of who is his father. We are in season three. We've come to find out Kyle's father isn't who he really thought he was. That hurts. That's got to be shocking to his world. Very jarring. I feel that we see that in [Episode] 3.09. There's a bit of information that is given out that is very important and catapults Kyle for the remainder of this season.

What do you feel keeps Kyle in Roswell? He's had the opportunity to leave and work in other cities…

Michael Trevino: For Kyle, there might be some abandonment issues because of his father not being around. With that, he doesn't want to do the same thing to others. We've seen how vital he is, how important he is to what is going on in Roswell. He doesn't want to run away from that. And let's talk about the lifelong connection he has with Liz. He doesn't want to leave her not only in harm's way, but stuck with this mess. So, Kyle is choosing to stay and figure out what is really going on.

What else can you preview about what's in store for Kyle in the last block of episodes?

Michael Trevino: Kyle is going to have a lot more to do with what's going on in Deep Sky. He and Eduardo will become allies and work together, to do what they have to do, with Jones.

What was it like having original Roswell star Sherri Appleby direct some episodes, as well as Vampire Diaries creator Julie Plec and your former co-star, Paul Wesley?

Michael Trevino: Speaking to Sherri Appleby, it was nostalgic. She's one of the OGs for the original. To have her come on board and direct an episode -- even for her -- I think it's a full circle in her career. It was a blast to have her on set and be taking notes from her, just because of the connection she has to this story and these characters. Roswell is on the CW. It's on Warner Bros. television. It's a family I have been part of for over a decade. To work with Julie Plec and Paul Wesley, personally, is a great thing. As the years have gone on, our careers are expanding. It's a beautiful thing to watch. This business can be challenging. It can be tough. To see us all, striving to do the best that we can, is great.

You've aspired to step behind the camera. What's the appeal and are you going to get the chance in Season 4?

Michael Trevino: Being in this television world for so long, this is a machine. It takes so many people to produce one-hour of network-episodic television. Being on these sets as an actor has been great and a privilege, and I'm grateful for it, but I want to expand and do a bit more.

In telling these stories, I get very involved in the blocking of scenes or what's going to best service this story when we are in these scenes, doing rehearsals. I find myself figuring things out. I am interested in the camera moves. I am interested in where we are setting up lights. I am interested in everything. I want a shot at that.

After Season 3, I shot a short film in Albuquerque. That was my first time directing and it was such a great experience. I am in post-production on that. I've put it out there. I've spoken to producers. I can neither confirm nor deny if I am getting an episode this [upcoming] season. I'm hoping I will be.

You are on a superhero-heavy network. What are your thoughts on playing in that sandbox?

Michael Trevino: Marvel has obviously been top dog for some time, but DC has been doing some really great things. I feel in this world of streaming, that these television series are just as great as these big-budget feature films. What they have is they can expand on their storylines with these comic book characters. I would love to do one because of the physicality that some of those roles require. I love doing stunts and I'm very athletic. Any type of role that has that physicality to it, I really lean into that. Any type of comic book role that came my way would be a dream.

[izzielizzie]

Hi I have a request, but it's VERY au, but I've been thinking about it for a long time. So it's basically this: Maeve and Phoebe are best friends during the OOUIN time, I guess, and Maeve tells Phoebe about her cancer symptoms and her crush on Luis and they're at Brandon's funeral and they sit at a hidden place and Phoebe talks about Maeve's cancer and how she needs to talk to Luis and Addy, Kris, Nate, Cooper, and Luis hear. I think it would be interesting! Thanks love ❤❤ (love ur writing btw!)

ooo wow I love this idea, I’m going to pair this with another one-shot request I got where Brandon Weber is Mr. and Mrs. Rojas’ godson because they know Brandon’s parents, so basically Maeve is forced to go to the funeral to support her parents and because Brandon was her god-brother. Maeve and Phoebe are childhood best friends in this, like you suggested. Enjoy! Also this is the first time I’ve written from Phoebe’s pov so if the narration goes flat for a little while, it’s because I’m still trying to get a hang of her. Also Phoebe is being very sneaky in this fic, sorry, I like, ran out of ideas at some point. Okay I also read this over like two seconds ago it’s been in my drafts for forever basically, and I hate it but also kind of don’t? so let me know what y’all think. 

“Wanna get away?” Maeve whispers in my ear as I sidle up next to her. She looks cute today in a short black dress and leggings, and her hair is down for once. Although maybe noticing that someone looks cute at a funeral is socially unacceptable. 

“Sure,” I say as her hand slips into mine. I squeeze it once, our childhood code word for “are you okay?” that was invented when I visited Maeve in the hospital. She squeezes back with three quick squeezes: not really.

We’re standing between the church pews waiting for the funeral to start. Maeve’s been standing with her parents and Mr. and Mrs. Weber. and she looks so bored it’s actually amusing. 

“Mom, we’re gonna find seats,” Maeve whispers into her mother’s ear. 

“Sure honey,” Mrs. Rojas says absentmindedly patting the top of Maeve’s head. Maeve makes a face. “Oh, hello Phoebe dear,” Mrs. Rojas says wrapping me in a one-armed hug. She’s practically my second mother after having known her since I was three. 

“Hi,” I manage to say back before Maeve yanks me out of the aisle and down the pews to one of the doors leading to the balcony. We pause for a moment, look around, and push through the door when we’re positive no one is watching us. I don’t need to know where we’re going. Maeve and I found the perfect alcove for hiding a long time ago: on the upper part of the balcony on the same side as our family’s pews, where we can see all of the churchgoers, but they can’t see us. It’s saved us from many boring church services.

“I hate it here,” Maeve says once we drop into our usual seats. Maeve scrunches down until all I can see is the top of her head and her feet that she’s propped onto the bannister.

“Of this I am aware.”

Maeve holds her hand up and I take it in both of mine. Hers are too cold. I was honored when Maeve chose me out of all of her friends to tell me about how worried she is about her cancer coming back, but now I’m scared I’m gonna lose her every time I look at her. She’s withering away in front of me and there’s nothing I can do. “Wake me up when this is over.”

“Okay,” I say. The funeral itself doesn’t start for another twenty minutes, and Maeve spends the entire time with her head on my shoulder, her eyes closed. I’m not sure if she’s sleeping or pretending, but I squeeze her hand in mine and lay my head on top of hers. I’m drifting off too when I feel someone tapping my shoulder. I turn to see not only Addy Prentiss standing over me, but Cooper Clay, Nate Macauley, Luis Santos, and Cooper’s boyfriend Kris too.

“Hi,” I whisper.

“Is she asleep?” Addy asks, reaching forward to tentatively run a hand through Maeve’s hair. I glace up at her, and catch sight of Luis looking at her with that longing look he reserves for only her. I love Maeve with my whole heart, but even I have to admit that running out after their kiss was a jerk move. 

“Very,” I confirm.

“She’s so adorable,” Addy whispers as she drops her hand to her side. “We’ll sit back there so we won’t wake her.” She says, waving to the seats a few rows back. I nod as Maeve stirs against me.

“I know,” I whisper back with a nod as Addy steps away. Before I can think much of it I call Nate’s name. 

“Yeah?” He asks, looking at me weirdly.

“Bronwyn’s not here?”

Nate shakes his head. “She couldn’t get a plane here fast enough. Why?”

I shake my head, pursing my lips. I want to tell him and all of Maeve’s friends about her cancer so badly, but I can’t betray Maeve’s trust. She’s been my best friend for thirteen years. I’d be lost without her. 

“I hate funerals,” Maeve mumbles to me a moment later when the priest’s microphone screeches so loudly Maeve startles out of her slumber. 

“I know babe.” 

“God I can’t believe he’s gone,” Maeve says. She shifts a little, her right foot slipping down the banister. 

“Neither can I.” I’m hyper aware of the people behind us even though they probably can’t hear us, and I really hope Maeve doesn’t bring up my relationship with Brandon.

“I feel bad for my parents. I mean, god to lose your godson.”

My head snaps towards Maeve, who’s staring up at the ceiling. “I forgot about that. Jesus, I just called your godbrother an asshole. I’m so sorry.”

Maeve raises an eyebrow at me. “I hated him Phoebe. I just feel bad for saying that about him now that he’s not...” Maeve trails off.

“With us because of illicit activities?” I offer.

Maeve smiles. “Let’s not make it sound like he was a cult sacrifice Lawton.”

For some reason, that makes me double over laughing. Maeve sits up and shakes me. “Shut up someone will hear us.” I wave Maeve away and sit up. 

“Okay, okay, sorry.” 

Maeve smirks at me as she slides back down in her seat. I glance behind us and see Addy holding onto Cooper’s arm as she laughs. I catch her eye, glance down to make sure Maeve isn’t looking at me - she’s not - and then point to Addy, tap my ear, and then wave at Maeve and I. I’m trying to ask if they can hear us, but I must look like a madwoman. Thankfully, Addy understands because she nods vigorously. I give her a thumbs up and turn back towards the priest as he lists off Brandon’s virtues. None of which he actually possessed. 

I bite my lip as I contemplate my next words. Maeve doesn’t know that anyone’s behind us, and asking her about her cancer and her crush on Luis would be deceptive. But I also know Maeve. She’ll never talk about those things unless pushed. 

Oh what the hell? You only live once and all that crap. 

I start off with a logical question: “Are you gonna miss him?”

Maeve turns to me. “Who? Brandon?”

“Yeah, I mean he was your godbrother.”

“And?”

“And you’ve always wanted a brother, right?”

“I’ve wanted an older brother Phoebe. Not a jerk who pushed me into a pond, poured coffee onto my lap when I was wearing shorts, and called me Cancer Girl for like, three years.”

Ouch. When she puts it that way, my question was pretty dumb.

“Right. Well, it’s too bad you don’t have an older brother that’s nice. Not that Brandon would have counted anyway, he’s younger than you.”

Maeve gives me her you’re such an idiot look. “Um, Phoebe, have you met Nate?”

“I have,” I say.

“Then you’ve met my older brother.”

“Right. Sorry, I should have remembered that.”

“Mhm.” Maeve goes back to staring at the ceiling, and I glance back to Addy and co. Addy’s mouthing “awww” at me with her hands over her heart, and Nate’s smiling a little at the back of Maeve’s chair. Oh yeah they can hear us all right. 

“Too bad Knox doesn’t have older brothers,” I say.

“Why?” Maeve asks.

“Because then they would have been like your brothers when you dated him.”

“I suppose so.”

“Luis has an older brother.”

Maeve’s still staring at the ceiling, so I risk a glance back behind me. Addy’s grinning at me and Luis is rolling his eyes. 

“So?” Maeve asks.

“So if you dated him, Manny would be like your brother.”

Maeve rolls her eyes. “Good to know,” she says in her end of conversation voice. 

“I know right? You could ask him out you know.”

“No.”

“But Maeve why not?”

“No.”

“Maevey.”

“No.” 

I can’t stand seeing Luis’s disappointed face, so I don’t turn around.

“Okay, give me one reason why you shouldn’t date the very kind, very handsome, and very in love with you person, who would say yes in a heartbeat.”

Maeve looks at me, her eyes searching my face. “It would be unfair,” she finally says.

“To who?”

“To whom,” she corrects, sounding and looking exactly like Bronwyn. 

“Right, that.”

“It would be unfair to Luis. Because I’d be dating him under false pretenses.”

“What?”

“False pretenses Phoebe, it means-”

“I know what it means, I just don’t understand what you mean.”

“Because I’m dying.” 

Wow okay. I pause for a moment. I glance behind me to see five equally stricken faces. Looks like Maeve really didn’t tell anyone other than me. 

“But Maeve you don’t know that. because you won’t tell anyone.” My voice rises with frustration and I’m scared I’ll start yelling and won’t stop. I’ve had weeks of pent of fear and anger inside of me, and the fear of losing my best friend is the straw that might just break this camel’s back.

“God, Phoebe, stop yelling. And I do. I mean, I’ve had every symptom except joint pain.”

“Well that’s good,” I say sarcastically. “We’ll just wait for you to rot and die and if your joints start hurting along the way we’ll consider telling someone.”

Maeve stares at me. “Don’t you dare tell Phoebe Lawton.”

I’m too angry to think about the consequences when I wave dramatically behind us. “I didn’t need to babe. You did it for me.”

Maeve sits up, turns around so quickly I’m afraid she’ll get whiplash, sees Cooper, Kris, Addy, Nate, and Luis sitting behind her, sighs, and slouches back in her chair. 

I’m taken aback. “You’re not gonna yell at me?”

Maeve doesn’t answer, her hands over her face. Fear surges through me and I lean forwards to take her arms and shake her. “Maevey, Maevey are you okay? Please don’t be crying.”

There’s a cry of alarm behind me, and within an instant, Nate and Addy are on Maeve’s other side. 

“I’m not crying,” Maeve mumbles, her voice angry but resigned as she pulls her hands away to reveal her bloody nose. 

Nate’s pulled a napkin out of his pocket before I can even realize what’s happened. 

“Where are your parents Maeve?” Cooper asks urgently. He, Kris, and Luis have joined us.

“Downstairs.” I glance down to see the procession leaving the church. I catch sight of Mrs. Rojas’s red curls in the sea of black. 

“Hurry they’re leaving,” Addy says urgently, but Cooper’s already gone. I turn back to Maeve as she sobs into Luis’s shoulder. Fear surges through me causing my heart to thump and my head to hurt until Mrs. Rojas arrives with Cooper on her heels. 

The next hour and half is a blur. I’m in the waiting room of Bayview Hospital next to Addy. My head is on her shoulder and she’s stroking my hair. “She’s gonna hate me,” I say, staring at the wall.

“She’s not,” Addy says.

“Yes she is.” I insist. 

Cooper puts his hand on my knee. “You did the right think Phoebe. Maeve knows that.”

“I hope so. But if she doesn’t die, I’m gonna kill her. Did she really expect me to be able to keep a secret like that?”

Nate shakes his head. “That’s Maeve for you.”

I smile at him. “It’s cute she thinks of you as a brother.”

Nate gives me a half grin. “She’s been my little sister from the moment I had an actual conversation with her. I’m just glad she feels the same way.”

“She talks about you a lot. Well, all of you. You mean a lot to her.”

“Glad to hear it,” Luis says darkly. He’s thinking about their kiss, I can tell. 

“Especially you,” I say to him. “She’s just scared of hurting you. Give her time.”

“Time for what?” Maeve asks as she walks into the waiting room behind her mother. 

“For admitting you’re in love with Luis.”

“Right,” Maeve says. She looks too tired to be embarrassed. “Want to sleep over Phoebe?”

“What? You don’t hate me?”

Maeve smiles. “I could never. I needed a push, and you knew it.”

“Well thank god I thought I’d have to start asking Emma for rides to school.”

Maeve rolls her eyes at me as we all stand and walk towards the exit. “Love you Maevey Laevey” I say, using my childhood nickname for her as I throw my arm around her. 

“Back at ya Phoebe Jeebies.”

[buddha-in-disguise]

A full of fucking swearing long post about the shitstain that is Dominic Cummings. Plus where I can find them, at the end I will link fucking sources, just in case anyone wants to try and say otherwise.

Also, if you do start @ me over him, I'm blocking your fucking cunt of an arse. Clear enough?

Good. Then let's begin.

As a nation, we can be a fairly mild mannered lot. At least collectively. But as of now, the majority of Britons are a mass of anger. So much so, I've even agreed with pundits like Piers Fucking Morgan! That alone is distressing enough, but Dominic Cummings has pissed off just about everyone.

But first a little background on this heaping pile of shit.

Dominic Cummings was one of the main instigators of Leave Campaign in regards Brexit. Now for those who don't know or haven't cared until now, not only were they found to be in breach of the electoral law, Dominic himself was also found in contempt of Parliament when they tried to find out if Vote Leave used fake news to help achieve their goal.

To add to this, he took around 200k of subsidies from the EU for his properties. So a known lying fucking hypocrite.

Even before that, he was advisor to Gove, that spineless fucking weasel who has been out today spouting even more fucking bollocks over this. Funny that.

Don't think for a minute being Gove's Special Advisor meant Cummings was liked by others in the Tory Party. Cummings was pretty much despised by a lot in Government at the time. David 'Pig fucker' Cameron called him a career psychopath.

Fast forward to 2019. Cummings is now Special Advisor to another spineless fucking cunt known as the Prime Minister Boris Johnson. BJ was never in control. Anyone watching what was going on knew that the moment Cummings had Javid's one aide uncermoniously marched out of her job, using armed police no less.

Only problem was, he had no authority to do that.

But never fear, BJ decided to change the rules, so lo and behold, he didn't break any rules (seeing a pattern here yet?)

So fast forward to the last few days. Now newspapers were reporting that Dominic Cummings drove his COVID-19 symptomatic wife, with a 4 year old in the same enclosed vehicle, some 260 miles to his parents location in Durham.

Oh now comes the fun part, and why as a nation we are all beyond extremely miffed, and fucking pissed off!

The offical guidance was anyone in a household with someone displaying symptoms (tested or not) was to stay the fuck at home. There was one exception to this rule. One. Extreme risk to life.

So Cummings took the decision to go and drive for fucking childcare reasons.

A man with his wealth, privilege and even with family in fucking London, couldn't do it at his home, but had to drive (thus risking his own child because of viral load you're going to get in an enclosed vehicle), himself and others (because he had to stop. Tell me of anyone with a 4 year old in the car they wouldn't be stopping anywhere?)

So anyway, they take a fucking jolly jaunt up to his parents.

But hold on, a Minister recently resigned for breaking lockdown rules. So why in the ever loving fuck was Cummings not resigning or being fired?

I don't know what Cummings has on BJ, but I suspect it makes wanting to fuck a dead pig seem like child play. Because not only isn't he fired, good old Jolly BJ comes out and fully defends and supports his senior advisor (who is unelected as well, just to add salt to that wound).

So by following his fatherly instincts (the fucking laughable defence given, when BJ couldn't even say how many fucking kids he has) and acting with integrity, (someone please give these fucking morons a dictionary), Cummings was given a free pass.

And then a load of fucking MP's including cabinet ministers all piled in saying how great a father he is, how it was exceptional circumstances that made him do it, you're all overreacting you terrible ingrate you, blah, blah, more horse shit, blah!

So, now all of those families who actually followed the fucking rules, and did what the government said are now being told, oh sure. You could've attended the funeral of your loved ones. Gone halfway across country to get child care for your kids, and so on and so fucking forth.

So basically saying, hah the jokes on you.

A few grumbles came out from the odd Tory, who might not have grown a spine, but were looking less like jelly (jello) being nailed to the wall, and more like thick fucking custard. A little more substance to them, but still slopping around with no spine.

We have a bank holiday coming up, and unusually good weather forecast, because as every Brit knows, Bank Holidays are normally shit weather wise. And a lot of people saying, fuck me if Cummings can do this, so can we. And all pile into cars for days out as if nothing had changed! No masks, no social distancing. Zilch. Great innit.

No it fucking isn't! The virus doesn't take a holiday you fucking morons!

So back to the other mess. Cummings now gives a press conference in the fucking rose garden of No.10. Also likely in breach of the rules, but as we know, he really doesn't give a flying fuck about rules now does he.

First of all he was 30 minutes late (you would've been sanctioned , therefore getting no money, for weeks, probably months if on benefits and did the same thing thanks to this government). But he eventually rolls up, looking slightly less like he's been dragged through a hedge backwards, but still looking like a dogs arse. Actually sorry dogs, you don't deserve that comparison. I'm really sorry!!

Anyway, here he is, about to fill us with more bullshit.

The shit now isn't just hitting the fan. In the immortal words of Terry Pratchett, The Midden has now hit the Windmill.

Cummings is trying to explain why he did what he did, oh and now we have the added delight of him being caught going out to a location some 30 miles from the family home, which is another breach of the law!

He sat there, and said, the public aren't angry at me, they're angry because of how the media have reported it. Woe is me, they're making me out to be the bad guy in all this .... blah fucking boo hoo blah.

This was supposed to calm us down.

Dear reader.

It. Did. Not.

So journalist after journalist (Beth Rigby gave a fucking masterclass) actually didn't let him get away with it.

These weren't just questions or accusations. They threw proof at him! Despite the collective rage, it was glorious to see them do it. If this was when stocks were still in use in the town square, Cummings would've been covered in excrement and anything else to hand. That shit was blown back so fast, it was hard to keep up.

Anyway, without going into too much here, his excuses ranged from he didn't feel safe because of demos outside his home (unverified and strangely enough, no neighbours reporting any disturbances either. Funny that),

Then, having gone to great lengths to say he drove up to his parents to keep his kid safe, he explains the additional trip he got caught out on was taken to test his eyesight, which had been affected because of being unwell with Covid19.

So not only is it highly fucking illegal to drive while impaired (including if eyesight is impaired) in this country, you decided to take your wife and kid, who you wanted to protect, not for a little jaunt down the road, but on a 60 mile fucking round trip.

Oh, and he hadn't stopped on the 260 mile trip up there, but his kid needed a stop on the way home, so a less than 60 mile trip required a stop. Yeah. Strange how that works.

He still kept blaming the media. Still kept up the woe is me, it was exceptional circumstances, and so on. Must get sore lips there Cummings, with the amount of smoke you try to blow up peoples arses.

So, to end it all, he has flatly refused to resign. No need to even consider it. The public will be jolly good chaps in all of this and see my side of things.

No we won't, you motherfucking cunt!

So this morning, various people including Gove are still making excuses for this fucking shitstain.

I now wish Cummings is fired, but better yet, thrown out of our universe, so he can never ever be seen again. But I've seen more spine on a fucking snake that I have Boris Johnson, who is just as much to blame in all this.

Before I end, we also had an infamous Tweet from someone in the Civil Service, who knew they were torpedoing their career. I'm including a screen shot. It was taken down, but it was genuine. Whoever they were, you deserve all the applause and a fucking medal!

Oh and a few sources for this and the cuntface Cummings. But you know, just Google the fucker. You can find this and much more.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-44856992

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-47712040

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/aug/10/dominic-cummings-owns-farm-got-eu-subsidy

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2014/jun/18/david-cameron-dominic-cummings-career-psychopath

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/dominic-cummings-boris-johnson-cabinet-minister-aides-civil-service-sajid-javid-a9109836.html

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-52782913

[https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-52553229

https://www.bbc.com/news/amp/uk-52792200

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-52793991

https://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/north-east-news/dominic-cummings-trip-county-durham-18306147

https://www.gov.uk/driving-eyesight-rules

[douchebagbrainwaves]

I'VE BEEN PONDERING PRODUCT

If you don't and a competitor does, you're in startup territory. Competitors commonly find ways to work around a patent. If your startup grows big enough, however, is an outlying data point. Whereas if a startup regularly does new deals and releases and either sends us mail or shows up at YC events, they're probably going to have to work on something interesting with people I like. Making wealth is not the only reason investors like startups so much? Wozniak was able to make himself one. I mentioned, a pretty bad judge of startups. The distributors want to prevent the transparency that comes from having prices online. VCs want to invest in startups is not simply that they like what they can't have, but because the process of raising money. Rtm and Trevor and I do because we always have, and Jessica does too, mostly, because she's gotten into sync with us. He seemed to regard it as a computer system executing that algorithm. I'd guess the most successful founder we've funded so far, but the effect on your morale and your bargaining position is anything but.

They would have both carrot and stick to motivate them. Plus the maxima in the space of startup ideas are not spiky and isolated. In this respect, as in many others, the eminent are prisoners of their own people would rebel. The professor who made his reputation by discovering some new idea is not likely to be the most valuable sources of ideas in the visual arts, where there's almost no overlap between the teachers and the leading practitioners. Wealth is as old as the web grew to a size where you didn't have to be crazy to refuse. Electricity seemed an airy intangible to most people, including the experts themselves, can measure. Now when we talk to them. Families are entitled to their own traditions, and who am I to argue with them? If you do make users register, unless you need to win. McCarthy alone bridged the gap.

Evelyn Waugh and Nancy Mitford. You think of n/2 of them in San Francisco. It seemed to me as a twelve year old football expert that the best of them all was Jack Lambert. Parents will tend to do this when they can help a startup, by turning you into a tame animal who thinks he needs an office to work in software. Because an ordinary employee's performance can't usually be measured, he is not expected to devote your whole life with no hope of anything better, under the thumb of lords and priests you had to give all your surplus to and acknowledge as your masters. If the tests a society uses are currently hackable, we can spring on the world a stream of new startups that might otherwise not have existed. You rarely hear of a startup is the embodiment of understanding your users will even ensure your morale, it will probably fail. Why do startups have to be secretive with other companies; they'd have to be about.

But there are two things different here from the usual confidence-building business have already achieved their goal when you buy the book or pay to attend the seminar where they tell you how great you are. In restoring your old car you have made yourself richer. A startup is a company designed to grow fast, I mean it in two. IBM. The classic 5 paragraph essay is really a list of n things. I've never cried like I cried at his funeral. And you know what jobs are like, but you can't expect to hit that right away. They just think they need a little more information to make up their minds faster, or new investors will emerge who do. Also, technical advances tend to come from unorthodox approaches, and small companies are less constrained by convention. By giving him something he wants in return. So it is easier to manage than generating returns from dividends.

Whereas a search engine you have to frame it as a personal insult when someone from the other team had possession of the ball on his side of the line of scrimmage. Yesterday one of the many weird little problems you discover when you get rich is that there are a lot of money for them, and IBM could easily have gotten an operating system elsewhere. Of course, all other things being equal, a very able person who does care about money, or to prevent you from overspending are so basic that they may even be the majority. It's not just that it's more straightforward. Let's think about how such a management company might be organized. Those characters you type are a complete, finished product. TV for 2 hours, let alone a whole day sitting on a park bench.

Wouldn't it be amazing if we could achieve a 50% success rate? If you want, there is not a bad way to think about the whole experience. Most people who are reluctant to do anything that completely took over my life the way a startup does. There have to be profitable to convey to investors that you'll succeed with or without them. They just think they need a little more information, and that alone is a black hole. One reason it's so brutal is simply the brutality of markets. If you grow to the point where anyone considers you worth attacking, you're doing well or badly. The most important thing that the constraints on a normal business protect it from is not competition, however, because its rarity is guaranteed by the U. How much are you trying to raise?

The startup may have more long-term potential, but you'll have it all to yourself. Here is a brief sketch of the economic proposition. When the Mac came out, he said that as a kid growing up in Saskatchewan he'd been amazed at the dedication Jobs and Wozniak were marginal people too. In that case, tweak your product and try again. IBM. But they played offense, and you assemble a team of qualified experts and tell them to make a lot of research and decide for themselves how valuable your technology was. The most important reason for having surprisingly good customer service. The more complicated the world gets, the more heat they get if they screw up—or even seem to screw up. At least, that's what we advise, and we got Java applets. Startup is a pole rather than a pleasure. Eventually a successful startup will get acquisition offers too. How would you get food, if you can.

[luxus4me]

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Your website's “About Page” won’t be a common entry point for visitors - but it could be a common exit point.

Pity too. The About Page will be one of your most visited pages on your site, an inevitable stop for first-timers.

Why are website About Pages a major cause of visitor exodus?

Because they’re narcissistic, they don’t move readers to feel or do anything. Generally, they’re boring.

If you don’t want the response to your About Page to be an “about face”, you’ll find some valuable ideas here. Let’s look at how to write your About Page, make it connect with readers and serve a purpose.

ABOUT, spelled out…

ABOUT, as an acronym, is a little formula I've created to help guide you through five powerful ideas for creating an effective About Page (or section).

A = Approachable

Imagine greeting someone for the first time and beginning the conversation by reading him or her a press release. Ridiculous, right?

I can’t tell you why so many companies shift into a journalistic-imbued writing style when it comes to crafting copy for their About Page, but I can tell you it makes for a dreadful first impression.

So faux pas number one for the About Page is writing it with a sleep-inducing tone. Don’t let your page sound like a funeral - make it sound like a party.

"You’re here. Woo-hoo! We’re excited to tell you why this is the place to be."

Let the party begin.

The About Page on the Moz site kicks off the party with a fun headline, unconventional image and scroll-worthy storytelling-style content.

Great About Pages are warm, energetic, interesting introductions. Do everything you can to sound approachable. Nix the jargon. Nix the third-person voice. Nix the meaningless hyperbole and business clichés. Look your reader in the eye and belt-out a happy hello.

And please, don’t make the headline of your page “About” or any similar variation. Give visitors a reason to move down the page and expect to find some fun stuff.

B = Beneficial

Yes, you’re About Page is about your company, and your reader has come to learn more about what you do.

Why? Because they have a problem they’re looking to solve. As they say in metaphor land, "the customer doesn’t want a drill; he wants a hole".

A mission statement can be a real buzz kill, but Help Scout won’t have it. Their About Page promises to “help you build a company people love.”

To win the reader’s attention - and affection - you need to address the “What’s in it for me?” (WIIFM) question. You need to present a benefit, or several. What value do you deliver your customers?

Oh, how this simple idea brings communicators to their knees. It shouldn’t.

Try this simple exercise. Fill in the blank.

"How to ________________________".

I’ve always loved this approach. It works for headline writing, positioning and forging unique selling propositions. Here, it’s going to work for your About Page.

You can’t fill that blank in with a feature, product, service, or brand name. Only a benefit works.

How to create a lead-generating website. (Could work for Orbit Media.)

How to publish content that builds your brand. (Could work for Feldman Creative.)

How to easily create the exact size hole you need. (Could work for the drill store.)

How to lose weight without starving yourself. (Could work for millions of websites.)

I’m not telling you your About Page needs to include these exact words, but they need to communicate the idea. How you're going to help (a.k.a. the benefit) is really what the reader has come to learn. If your About Page doesn’t get the idea across, it fails.

The value you provide is what your company is about. therefore, it’s what your About Page should also be about.

O = Optimized

Your website’s About Page content should be considered part of your lead generation plan and optimized for conversions.

On the Unbounce blog, a post on the conversion potential of About Pages goes so far as to say;

"Your About Page should be a conversion-friendly hub where your visitors are directed to shop, jump on your email bandwagon or begin a free trial—all after being informed and inspired. If you’re not using your About Page to convert customers, you’re losing out."

About Pages provide an opportunity to tell stories, connect with prospects and build trust. These are keys to conversion.

A history page on the Vienna Beef website tells an engaging story of the history of the company highlighting its milestones.

If you’ve setup goals in your Google Analytics, your “all pages” report will include page values. This report from Orbit’s own analytics reveals their About Page is one of the site’s most important pages for contributing to conversion.

You’ve given your visitors a number of reasons to believe in your company’s abilities to deliver value. Tell them what to do next. Include at least one call to action (CTA) that directs the reader to move further into your website or enter contact information.

The GetResponse About Page offers CTAs including: meet the team; learn about the product; peruse the customers page; and signup for their newsletter. Your About Page doesn’t need to have as many choices, but if you want to optimize it to convert, it should have at least one.

U = Unique

It’s very easy to make your About Page sound generic - 'We do this', 'We do that', 'We care about our customers', 'Our people are dedicated and talented'.

But it’s hard to imagine you want to sound like your competitors.

Test your current About Page against this idea - wherever a mention of your company appears, swap in the name of one of your top competitors. If the page works just fine this way, you have work to do.

Your About Page is an opportunity to tell a unique story. Much of your uniqueness can come from the voice of your writing.

“For some reason, when people sit down to write an About Page, everything they know about creating interesting content suddenly flies out the window. Their usually great writing style starts to suck.” – Sonia Simone, Copyblogger & Rainmaker Digital.

Sonia suggests:

Use your own writing voice.

Be ruthless about pruning out any corporate-speak or hype.

Don’t be afraid to be a little funny, if you can pull it off, or dorky, if that’s who you are.

Your About Page is where readers go to figure out who you are and if they like you. The things that make you unique define who you are and certainly affect your likability.

What can you do?

Tell your backstory - Why does your company exist? How did it get to where it is today?

Own your imperfections - Did failure precede success? Did the company set out to do one thing and change course? Do your weaknesses accentuate your strengths? Don’t be afraid to be honest and real. It’ll appeal to prospects emotionally.

Go behind the scenes - Your scenes are unique scenes. Shoot some video and give your visitors a real take on what life looks like in your offices.

Orbit made a video that takes you “Inside Orbit” to meet the team and learn about the company culture and its values.

VIDEO

Let your constituents have a say. You have real customers, partners and collaborators - and they contribute to your uniqueness. Make a place on your About Page for your extended family to chime in with testimonials or any content you believe prospects will value.

Introduce your values. Sounds boring, doesn’t it?

I don’t mean talk about how you value results or ROI or something predictable that everyone values, I mean highlight what you stand for.

Do you support a cause?

Are you involved in the community?

What you’re doing to make a difference is likely to make you different.

Import social media

While it’s probably the topic of another post, it’s likely that the things you say and do on social media channels reveal the true character of your company. Your About Page is a perfect place to get social.

I’ve seen quite a few engaging About Pages featuring company and/or employee Instagram feeds - and that’s just one idea.

On Orbit Media’s About Page they link to their culture page. It has a stream of tweets and Instagram posts from the Orbit team (a.k.a Orbiteers).

T = Team

The most undeniably unique thing about your company is the people who work there.

Your company is your employees - no other company has them. This means that in an effort to be approachable and unique (“A” and “U”) your team is worthy of spotlighting on your About Page.

Why did the MailChimp team bring a “K” to the photo shoot? You got me, but the company appears to be proud of its team and features them on their About Page.

I’ve seen team pages done in many interesting ways. However, more often it’s a yawner with name, title and mini-resume featuring previous jobs and college experience.

You can make profiles of your staff members more interesting - and great conversation starters - by showcasing interesting things about each person.

Informal photos

Interesting facts

Hobbies, interests and passions

Quotes

Videos

Social media profiles (and ways to connect)

Answers to funny and unpredictable questions

Favorites

Fun stuff on the Wanelo team page. Deena likes Mexican and Peruvian textiles, sushi, llamas, Pilates and things that are impossible. Sean has a pillow doppelgänger.

Another useful tip for showcasing your team is to set up an individual page for each team member you want to feature. This will give your About Page a larger footprint and present pages that may rank when people search for a specific name.

Let’s talk about the About Page

Yes, your About Page affords you an opportunity to talk about yourself and is the place where readers expect you to. But on your About Page - and really any page on your website - your challenge is to engage visitors so they feel compelled to do something. You accomplish this by telling your story in a context that serves your readers.

Is there a checklist you use to create the perfect About Page? No.

Your About Page should not be exactly the same as someone else’s. It can feature whatever you want - in fact, the more you commit to making it original, the more effective it can be.

What content do you include on your About Page? What’s working? How might you update it to better serve your visitors?

A version of this post was originally published on OrbitMedia.com. 

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