#I want to cry on his chest while we watch the sunrise

[oglegoggle]

Fuck I wish I could artistically express a horny desire I have in a way that had some elegance about it!!!

[lavendermunson]

mine - steve harrington

summary you get separated from the love of your life after spending the best night together, would the universe bring you back to him? based on this request, thank you so much!

cw college!steve, college!reader. fluff, angst and more angst then more fluff. modern times!! allusions to sex. reader wears glasses sometimes.

w.c 9.2k

a/n created a playlist for this one (i struggled a little bit and the songs helped) thank you to @stveharringtn and @ihatepeanutss for reading the early chapter and motivating me to continue ily! NO PROOFREAD BECAUSE IM EXCITED

dividers by @saradika

I. Left a small town and never looked back.

Due to your parents' jobs, you had to move frequently, and the longest you stayed in one place was three years. You were so used to this, following the single rule for yourself: never get attached.

One problem, it was impossible not to fall for Steve Harrington. 

You met Steve in Hawkins, and the three years you spent together were magical. Talking late at night, going to the movies, and hanging out by the lake. Holidays were always spent with him, you invited him to your house, and your parents loved him. Even though your little brother was only 8 years old, he knew Steve was important to the family.  

The last year of high school was just around the corner. You’ve talked to Steve about graduating together, going to college, and spending the rest of your lives together. Watching each other through all the ups and downs of adulthood, you knew Steve was going to stay with you no matter what, he would be there for you, and you would be there for him. It was all a perfect dream, you’d have someone to celebrate your victories and cheer you up when the inevitable bad luck followed you around.

That dream was crushed when your parents told you they had to move again. You were heartbroken, and even more so because you were going to be separated from your favorite person. It was the first time you'd broken the rule, you got attached to Steve, and you fell in love with him.

The news broke him. He couldn’t sleep for the rest of the week, he wanted to be with you all the time, like you promised.

———

Before leaving Hawkins, you decided to confess your feelings for him. It felt wrong to pack that secret into your suitcase. Steve felt the same, he liked you too, but he didn’t want to admit he was in love with you yet. He decided to make your last day at Hawkins the best day you’ve ever had.

The first stop was the diner outside of town to eat burgers, fries, and milkshakes like you always do. At your favorite booth, this time it had a vase with flowers in the center of the table and a beanie babie.

“This is the one I saw in the magazine.” You take the white stuffed bear, it has a red ribbon around his neck and an embroidered red heart. 

“In case you need someone to hug,” he says, looking at the laces of his shoes and holding back his tears.

“Smells good! I’m so hungry.” You saw the way his smile faded, changing the subject was better than crying already. You had to enjoy the night.

While sipping from your freshly made milkshakes— stealing the cherry on top of his milkshake as usual—and watching Steve go over the old jukebox to play your favorite songs, the pocket of his jeans ended up empty from using all the coins he had.

“Get up! We have to dance.” Steve stands up, reaching for your hand.

He had to choose wisely for the next song, it was the last coin he had, so of course Be My Baby, by The Ronettes, was playing. He took your hand, squeezing it, and placed his free hand on your back to keep you closer. You rest one of your hands on his chest, feeling his heart beat fast for you.

Everyone in the diner was watching you, but you didn’t care. You were in the arms of your boy, your love, and it was the last night with him before a while. You had to dance like nobody was watching.

Leaving the checkered floor and the red booths, the second stop was the theater, cuddling while watching ‘Before Sunrise’ . It's one of your favorite movies, and it came back to the big screen for its anniversary.

Both of you get the feeling that it is the perfect movie to watch on a day like this. It was perfect because you don’t know what’s going to happen with you two in the future, just like Celine and Jesse. Your love for each other looks like that, it feels like that, and the best part is that it’s real, not something written for a movie. You aren’t acting or performing. You are feeling it.

You feel so lucky you didn’t meet him for just one night, you had spent so much time with Steve. The endless walks around the park and picking flowers in spring while he holds the basket and you place your favorites on it so you can take them home. The fun summers, hanging out by the pool, and eating a lot of ice cream—one of those years you had free ice cream thanks to Steve working at Scoops Ahoy. You spent the entire summer making fun of his tiny sailor suit, not wanting to admit he looked really good in it. 

Fall was always fun, dressing up for Halloween, and joining the kids to trick or treat, so at the end, you can steal some of their best candy bars. The adorable winter, playing in the snow and getting your nose red, drinking hot cocoa and marshmallows while watching Christmas movies.

Everything comes back to your mind like you were watching your movie. Feeling safe and loved with Steve’s arms around you. You never fought before, nothing went bad, but everything was over. For a while.

Steve holds your hand while you walk through the parking lot. The night sky is decorated with stars, so big and bright. He interlocks his fingers with yours, squeezing your hand as you walk to his BMW. 

The last stop is Lover’s Lake. He parks his car in the usual spot—your favorite spot. It’s the best place to feel the magic of the water mixed with the light of the moon. A reminder that you exist on the same planet, even if the miles come between you.

The radio starts to play ‘Don’t you forget about me’. The song was perfect. You take a deep breath. This is a moment you will remember forever.

Both sitting in the hood of his car, he hugs you, shielding you from the cold breeze, and kisses the top of your head while your back rests against his chest. The tears start to spill from your eyes, rolling down your cheeks. You can't hold the sobs, your chest is giving up.

“Hey, hey!” He turns you around, softly cupping your face between his hands and rubbing the tears away with his thumbs.

“Don’t you dare forget about me,” you whisper, as if the trees were going to be disturbed by your sobs.

“I won’t, I’ll call you every day. But I am going to miss you so much,” he whispers back. 

“I’m scared, Stevie,” you sob, tangling your arms around his neck. “What if we can’t make it?”

“We will, we got this. The love I have for you is stronger than anything else, we won’t let the distance break us.”

“Do you promise?”

“I promise”

Pressing his thumbs against your cheeks, he gets close to you. Your lips touch, and it feels like thousands of fireworks light up inside you. You feel one of his hands slide down your arm, and it makes you shiver. His hand rests on your waist and gives it a little squeeze. You jump closer to him than before, and you can feel his lips turn into a grin.

It wasn’t your first kiss with him. You kissed sometimes while playing spin the bottle or when Steve wanted to teach you how to kiss better.

“We will get through this. I'll see you again, and we can live the rest of our lives together.”

He kisses you again, and you open your mouth as he pushes your face to the side with his thumb. He slides his tongue to join yours and get more of the way you taste, honey, strawberries and cherries. Steve is being patient, taking his time brushing his tongue against yours and humming at how good it feels.

This kiss felt more magical, it made your insides bubbly, and your cheeks got warmer. But inside you, the clock was ticking, you had to savor this moment in case the universe turned against you again.

He breaks the kiss, trying to slow his breath. You do the same, opening your eyes slowly.

“I won’t do anything, not tonight." His voice is soft, but the tone is deeper. He feels a knot in his throat. “But next time, I promise I will make you feel so good.”

“I know, next time and the others. There’s only a couple of months left for summer break, and we will see each other again.”

“We will, baby. Now kiss me before I fall to the floor, you look so pretty tonight as you always do.”

“You are beautiful, Stevie.”He kisses you again, not getting enough of you. He kissed you before you went inside the house and he would’ve kissed you a thousand times more if he knew it was going to be the last time.

II. Wondering why we bother with love if it never lasts. 

You were disconnected and heartbroken by the time you spent the first week of your last year of high school at a different school. Steve picked a few shifts a week at the local coffee shop after school, always with Robin by his side.

Hawkins felt so empty without you. Every time he saw a happy couple smiling, kissing, or hugging, he felt nauseous and jealous. His friends knew how he felt, they missed you too, but they never stopped calling you. 

The only thing that kept him going were your calls, you called every single night. Tell him about your day, your new school, and your new friends. He tells you about school, work, Robin, and the kids. It was good, he loved hearing your voice and watching you through his screen.

“I can’t believe it! I told you! Steve Harrington’s first A+ essay, and without my help. I feel a little wounded, you don’t need me at all!”

He felt so proud of himself. You were the last one to know about it but you are the most excited one. Even more excited than him.

“You are a great tutor, all those tips and seeing my practice essays marked with a pink glittery pen helped me a lot”

“I'm so proud of you, you are capable of anything I know!”

“Honey…” Steve’s worried face makes your heart sink.

“Yes?”

“I’m always going to need you. I can’t live without you.”

You press both of your hands against your chest as if that were going to soothe your pain. The damage you caused him is evident, you shouldn’t have broken that stupid rule.

“I miss you, Stevie. I can’t do this without you.”

“I miss you too, honey. And you can, you have me here. Always”

Steve feels his head heavier each minute, the long hours at the coffee shop kill him. 

“We should go to sleep, yeah?” he says, noticing your sleepy face. 

“We should. Good night. Call me tomorrow!”

“Please, I don’t know if I can survive without hearing your voice”

You get closer to your camera, blowing him a kiss.

“I’ll annoy you with my voice every night, honey!”

“I’d love that baby. Good night,” he says, blowing a kiss back.

When you hang up, he tosses his laptop to the floor. It falls on the pile of unwashed clothes he has. 

“Weird,” he says to himself, looking at his laptop resting on the clothes. He takes a look around his room. It’s a mess, he makes a mental note to clean it, and he can’t stress over it right now.

Steve lays with his back against the mattress. He remembers the way you brought your hands up to your chest. He does the same, hoping to understand why you did it.

His warm palms rest against his chest, now he knows. He feels it. Steve applies a bit of pressure to his chest, closing his eyes and trying to fall asleep.

So much for trying, it felt like maybe five minutes had passed, and when he glanced at his clock, it was six a.m. His alarm was about to go off, and he had to go downstairs, make breakfast, and get on his way to pick Robin up to go to school.

That’s when he lets out a sob. Time does pass without you, the world doesn’t stop, and he gets even more scared than before. 

Don’t you forget about me.

He grabbed his phone, clicking on his texts. You’ve already said good morning to him.

‘Good morning baby. I'll miss you forever. Have a nice day! Love you”

That’s when he takes a moment to reply. 

‘Good morning, hope you slept well. I love you too.”

And then he gets out of bed to spend another day without you by his side. Knowing you are slipping through his fingers already.

———

Three weeks later.

The calls stopped being frequent, sometimes you were too tired, or sometimes he was too tired. 

“I have to go, I'm exhausted. Can I call you tomorrow?” you ask him.

Steve had to ignore the arrow that just shot through his heart, he wasn’t ready to say goodbye. The more he talked to you, the more he missed you. When he knew you weren’t going to make it for the summer break he felt his heart break, every time he woke up he was already crying.

This broke your heart too, not being able to see him, or visit your friends. It felt like some strange and strong force was keeping you away and pushing you farther.

“Of course, honey. Sweet dreams”

“Sweet dreams, Stevie.”

He closes his laptop after you hang up, tossing it aside. The pile of clothes seems to be bigger. He swears to do it tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow. Whenever he feels like he is alive.

Four months later.

The rush hour at the coffee shop ends up killing Steve’s back, and his feet are burning. To his surprise, his parents are home.

Can this day get any worse? Yes, you haven’t texted him back since yesterday.

"Steve, are you still wasting your time at that damn coffee shop?” His dad shouts he doesn’t have time for this. “Steve?”

He hears his dad’s heavy steps behind him. He catches Steve at the first step of the stairs.

“Didn’t you hear me? Say something!”

“I’m not wasting my time, I'm saving up for college,” Steve whispers. He can feel his dad’s warm breath against his face, and he can smell the whiskey too. 

“College? You are going to work for me, right?”

“No?”

“Then why go to college in the first place?”

Steve pushes his dad away, and his mother joins them.

“It’s clear, John.” she says.

“Say it, Steve.”

“To get the fuck away from you, that’s why,” Steve spits out. His eyes were burning, and tears were threatening to fall.

He gets away from them, locking himself in his room. He doesn’t mind looking at his phone or picking up his laptop, he just wants to fall asleep and get this over with. It has been such a long day.

Six months later.

It’s been a long time since you’ve talked to each other.

“Are you tired?” You ask, and he has been rubbing his eyes for the third time now. “You don’t have to hang up, carry me to your bed.”

Steve leaned his head to the side, just as a confused puppy does. 

“C’mon, I’ll read you a story so you can fall asleep. Like old times.”

“Are you sleeping late?”

“I have assignments to finish, I need to catch up with a few classes because I fell behind.”

“You’ll do great, honey. You are the smartest person I know!”

“Steve Harrington, you are the smartest person I know. We are a couple of months away from college and i'm really excited”

“Me too honey, it sucks you couldn’t come here for summer break”

You will see each other, you will. 

Steve shakes his head with a smile plastered on his face, holding the laptop in his hands. He lets himself lie under his sheets, fixing his pillow and resting his head on it. 

"Are you ready?” you ask him, sitting on your desk and getting comfortable for a long night.

“Ready, no scary tales, please!"

“I promise! Close your eyes now!”

Steve takes the last glance at you, his fingers reaching to touch his screen as if he were touching your face. But he can’t, you are too far away now and it kills him.

“Goodnight”

The bubbly feeling in your chest goes away when you don’t hear a nickname. No honey, no baby. 

“Goodnight!” You wait until his eyes are closed. “And we begin, once upon a time."

Steve falls asleep before getting to know what the story is about, he was so tired and this is the first time he has slept more than three hours.

You close your laptop after watching him turn to the other side. You are trying to return your attention to your assignments, but the only thing you can feel is your heart breaking again. The hope you once had is now fading away. You are managing to live without him, but you don’t want to. 

Steve regrets it. He regrets falling asleep. This time he didn’t wake up seeing your face, he didn’t get to hear your bedtime story, and he didn’t get to tell you how much he loved you. And he regrets it so much because it was the last time he heard your voice.

III. And every time I look at you it’s like the first time

Two years later.

Steve had a hard time finishing high school, but he did. Later, he had to retake a year, but he saved up some money with Robin to move to college. After jumping up and down and celebrating with their friends their acceptance letters, they got into the college dorms for the first year, but that went very badly because they couldn’t be roommates and all the noise from the dorm building was constantly giving them a headache.

He saw Nancy and Jonathan when they all came back from college over the summer break, hanging up with them was the best. They helped him and Robin choose the best apartment outside of college, it was close to the new coffee shop they were working on and close to their buildings. He never saw you again, you were too busy to travel, and he was too. Mindlessly forgetting about each other and not meeting again hurt less. 

When he had to retake a year, he hesitated to call you. He was ashamed of himself, you were supposed to go to the same college in the same year. 

When he finally got his acceptance letter, he didn’t call you. Steve had a feeling you got into college and that your life was going well. He knew he was right.

But it had a good outcome, Steve retook his senior year and moved in with his best friend to start a new chapter in his life. A life that he wanted to enjoy, free from the pressure of his parents and the small town that made him feel so small.

Their first year wasn’t easy. Steve spent most of his time in his dorm, and Robin did too. They didn’t go to parties and didn’t seem too excited about meeting new people.

He felt like a total stranger like he didn’t belong there. He picked the same coffee shop he was working in to hang out, he picked the public library over the school library because it looked terrifying.

Steve spent most of his weekends and days off studying, he was at the top of his class. Whenever he wrote an essay, it reminded him of you, but not as a sign of hope, just a reminder of his small town years.

Robin spent most of her weekends traveling to Hawkins to meet her girlfriend, Chrissy. Taking Steve’s car and cleaning it for him as a thank you.

Steve didn’t meet anyone else, he didn’t want to get attached. If anyone leaves, what’s the point? He was only close to two of his classmates, that was enough for him.

———

“Do you know who’s moving in?” your roommate asks, Diana was always aware of every gossip around college. It was your second year being her roommate, she slowly became your best friend.

“No, who?” You ask, not really wanting to know but giving her satisfaction again.

“A new couple! I hope they aren’t as loud as the last ones.”

“Please, I need to buy new headphones just in case.”

Diana laughs, walking towards her room to place some of the new boxes she moved in. You asked if she wanted help, but she didn’t because her brand new date was going to join her.

You decided to head up to the public library, knowing you had never been there and wanting to explore a new world. It was a couple of blocks away so you had to take the bus.

———

Steve and Robin were driving around their new neighborhood, looking for their new apartment. They were singing the songs on the radio, even if Robin didn’t know most of them because her music taste was original. But Steve knew every one of the trendy songs.

They stopped at a red light. Robin got distracted by two dogs ‘kissing’ each other. Steve looked away with a face of disgust, and that’s when his eyes fell on you.

He wasn’t sure if it was his imagination, were you really there? Was he hallucinating? Maybe the smell of coffee is doing some damage to his brain.

But it was you, wasn’t it? without the signature choker, without the thousands of bracelets, and without the red lipstick always staining his shirts. Then it wasn’t you. You had glasses now, a gold chain around your neck, and your hair was slightly lighter.

The bus blocks his view; he wants to scream at it to move, and when it does, you disappear—or the hallucination he had of you disappeared—the honk of the car behind him makes him jump, the green light is on, and he has to move.

“Steve! Are you okay?” Robin shouts, scanning Steve’s face. He looks pale, confused, and scared.

“I think I just saw a ghost,” he says, looking over Robin and then the road ahead.

“You are only nervous, the apartment will be good, don't worry. If they scam us, we have Chrissy to defend us in court.”

“Yeah, stop it lovebird. We are here.”

The apartment buildings look so tall, almost intimidating. Steve drives around looking for the parking lot, and when he finds it, he and Robin take a moment to process it.

"I'm scared too, but we should go in. The moving truck will be here, and we will have a lot to do,” Robin says, taking Steve’s hands and giving them a light squeeze. “We got this”

“Yeah, we should go in now.”

They go over to their apartment, meet their landlord, and get their keys. The moving truck comes a couple of hours earlier, and they move in their new stuff after cleaning the apartment.

A couple of empty boxes and a lot of wrapping paper later, they are done. They only need the heavy couch.

“Even if I help you, we won’t be able to do it”

“I know! I’m thinking”

Steve and Robin are stressed now. Steve’s hair is disheveled already, and Robin’s mascara is smudged around her eyes. They had a long drive, and now they are so tired of getting the apartment ready.

“We should just knock at our neighbors. Their screams stopped.”

“Yeah, I should buy new headphones for that.”

He points in the hallway. Robins walks out of the apartment and knocks on the door. After a few knocks, the door opens, and Steve joins them.

“Steve? You are Nick’s friend, right? I saw you with him the other day,” a guy asks, introducing himself as Eric.

“Uhh yes, Nick! Nice to meet  you."He shakes his hand. “This is Rob, my friend.”

“Nice to meet you!” Eric says, “This is my..."

“I’m Diana, nice to meet you guys,” she waves at them.

“So, we need help moving on our couch. Could you help us?” Robin asks.

“Please, we are a great team, but that couch is very heavy,” Steve says. “What if you help us, and we invite you to eat some pasta? I saw a new Italian restaurant a few blocks away.

“Sure, we can help!” Diana says.

The four of them carry the couch with ease into Steve and Robin’s apartment, they thank their new neighbors, and they all high five, looking proud of themselves. 

“Thank you again, guys, we should go. I'm starving!” Robin smiles at them, and they all nod but Diana.

“Can I invite my friend? She can meet us there,” Diana asks. They all nod, but Eric.

“No way! She hates me,” he says, shaking his head, taking Diana’s hand, and stopping her from going into their apartment. 

“I told you it would take time. She is protecting me,” she says, dragging Eric with her into her apartment. “We will see you guys in a minute.”

“Sure, take your time,” Steve says. Their neighbors leave and shut the door behind their backs.

When they are gone, he wraps his hands around Robin’s neck. He looks over the apartment and smiles.

“We made it,” he says.

“We made it!” She says back, hugging his waist and rubbing his back.

They break the hug after a few minutes, looking over the almost finished apartment. There’s some stuff left to unpack.

“Wait for Chrissy to see this, she is going to love it.”

“Is she coming? Tomorrow?” Steve asks, looking at his friend and her lovesick smile.

“Yes! I think I'll finally ask her the question"

“Already? Isn't it too soon?”

“Dingus, when you know, you know. Life is short, we can’t lose time stressing over everything,” she says, rubbing his shoulders. “You will find someone, maybe not, you know who, or maybe you will. Let time choose.”

He knew Robin was talking about you. Even if Steve moved on and got his shit together, he was still missing you and the part of him you took with you. No matter how many dates he had, how many times Hopper talked to him. He wanted you, something far from impossible. 

“You should write that on a note and put it in the fridge." They both laugh. "I'm very proud of you.”

“Don’t make fun of me, or you will lose your best man spot. I will give it to Eddie.” Robin gets a napkin out of a box and cleans her mascara.

“Hey! Who used to drive you everywhere and still does?”

“I'm joking!”

“I know,” he says, giving her a pat on the back. “Good luck with your proposal.”

“I still need a ring, not all of us carry our grandmother’s rings everywhere we go.”

“Shut up! I'll help you get a ring.”

“Yes!”

They high five again, and they hear knocks on the door. They see their neighbors again.

“My friend isn’t coming, I think she is with her boyfriend. But we can go now!”

“Yay! Sorry about your friend."Robin gets closer to Diana, leaving Steve behind with Eric.

“Aren’t you together?” he asks.

“No, we are friends. Platonic with a capital P!” Steve replies, walking to the door and joining the girls.

“Cool, maybe you can date Teddy and smooth the anger out of her,” Eric says.

“Teddy?” Steve asks, walking to the parking lot.

“Oh, Di’s best friend,” he says, pointing at Diana. “She has this weird ass white teddy bear, and since then, I call her Teddy.”

“Oh, funny,” Steve says. A weird white teddy bear? No, no, it can’t be. His heart pounds harder against his chest, and he gets back to that night. The diner, the flowers, the beanie baby, and then someone who looked like you at the bus stop.

This can’t be real, he won’t get his hopes high again.

“Are you okay, man? You look scared,” Eric asks Steve, stopping him after he puts the key on his BMW. “Can you drive?”

“Yeah, I can. Don’t worry,” Steve says, his free hand over his chest. “It’s just something that happens.”

“He sees ghosts!” Robin shouts, making everyone laugh.

“We should walk guys, it isn’t that far,” Diana adds.

“Yeah, we could use some fresh air,” Robin says.

They all walk to the restaurant, enjoying a fun night. All of them get the feeling they’ll be close, but tonight they treat each other as strangers. Not sharing all but funny stories and college adventures.

———

When Diana gets home, you are already there, she walks over to the couch to wake you up and help you get to bed.

“Did you talk to Jake?”

“He picked me up from the library, we didn't-"

“Another time will come."

You hum, walking with her to your room. She closes the door, and you walk towards your bed, put your pajamas on, and slip into bed. You try to sleep, trying to keep all the midnight-crushing thoughts away, with the BMW in the parking lot on your mind, it looks very familiar.

———

It’s only 8 a.m, and you sit at home, eating your oatmeal bowl with strawberries, bananas, and a cup of coffee you’ve made yourself. You point to the cup you made for Diana, it has been sitting there for a few minutes. Maybe she wanted a cold brew instead of a nice hot cup. 

“One is Rob, and the other... I don’t remember.”

“Di! You are really bad with names.”

“Are you sure you don’t want ice on your coffee?” you joke.

“No, and yeah, I was a little stoned too, that’s why I don’t remember well.”

“That’s always going to cost you, babe.”

“I know, but I can introduce them later! We are all going to a party, and Rob will pick us up after work because the girl had to see her girlfriend.” She chugs her cup of coffee and puts her jacket on.

“Are you sure his name is Robert?”

“No, it’s Rob!” She still looks unconvinced, but you leave it. “Anyway, is Jake picking you up?”

“I don’t know, we aren’t really on speaking terms.” 

Jake was your boyfriend a couple of weeks before he asked you for a break, and you haven’t “fixed it." He picked you up from the library yesterday, and the whole ride home was quiet and uncomfortable, but something tells you it isn't going to last.

“Call him! He is good for you.”

“I’m not sure about that, but I’ll see you later then.”

“I’ll see you later, babe!”

“Be careful!”

———

You finish washing the dishes and go back to your room to get ready for the party. Minutes later, Diana and Eric show up to drive you to the house. It’s the first party of the semester, and everyone seems pretty excited about it except you. You know if you see Jake again, he will probably break up with you, rip off the band-aid, and go to the girl who has been hanging out with him at the gym.

But you go, not wanting to miss out and excited to see some of your friends who arrived in town. It might not be the best night, but at least you’ll have a cup of cranberry juice with vodka to survive.

You arrive at the party early, not wanting to talk to anyone, yet you get closer to the table in the middle of the dining room and make yourself a cape cod. When it’s done, you get to the living room and sit on the couch, watching as people come over, and some of them wave at you and say hi before going for their drink.

Jake arrives with a girl by his side, He gets closer to her ear to whisper something, and she turns around as he walks to you.

“Can we talk?”

“You are going to break up with me, aren’t you?” You pinch your eyebrows together. 

“Let me explain.”

He sits on the arm of the couch you are sitting on, so close to you. You can already hear his words muffling and how sorry he is about all of it, making up excuses to let you know it’s not your fault he is doing this and the two of you should end your relationship now. Avoid telling the truth and spinning around the subject, reminding you of all the good moments but also all the fights and “breaks” you had.

You look at him through your eyelashes, your tears rolling down your cheeks. Your now ex-boyfriend pinches your chin with his fingers, not letting your gaze fall to your lap or the cup you hold in your hand. He whispers “I’m sorry” thousands of times more, and you refuse to move, feeling the warmth of his fingers against your face for the last time. Then he leaves you alone to find his date, and you wish the earth could swallow you whole.

———

When Steve gets to the party with Robin and Chrissy by his side, he lets the two of them look for a place while he gets their drinks. The house is so tiny that everyone is squeezing each other and bumping into each other on the way to other rooms. Everything smells like alcohol and weed, and even the floor is sticky, but after all, Steve manages to get to the dining room and look for the red solo cups. He takes one and pours tequila into it. He drinks it, feeling the burn down his throat as he keeps his eyes closed. He needs more of these to survive the night.

He looks around, recognizing some people he used to see around in his first year, some of them are customers in the coffee shop he works in. When his head looks over to the living room, he sees the girl from the bus stop, the one who looks like you. 

Steve gets even more confused as you chug your drink, the solo cup covering your face. He turns his head away from the view, even if it’s not you, his mind betrays him.

Where’s the real you? What are you doing right now? Do you have a boyfriend? A girlfriend? A child? A cat? Are you married? 

The question that hurts more is the one he used to think about almost every night. Would he see you again?

He tries to enjoy the party as soon as he sees the girl leave. He misses watching Diana run after you and try to comfort you. 

Your friend takes you home, and Steve stays until the party is over, and he is a bit more sober to take Robin and Chrissy back to their apartment.

———

“Robin? Why did you leave so soon?” Steve asks Robin over the phone, while he tosses empty boxes and bags around.

“We are getting you breakfast! Jesus, what’s your problem?”

“I’m hungover, and I forgot I have to send this email before twelve, but I can’t find my laptop charger, and I can’t find yours either!”

“Shit, I took mine because Chrissy needed my laptop, but I'm sure yours is in your room. We unpacked everything.”

“Fuck! I’ll call you back.”

“Ask Diana for one!”

Stressed out, Steve hangs up the phone before listening to Robin’s last words. Of course, he can ask his neighbor for a favor, and he knows Diana is nice. 

He gets out of his apartment, and a few steps later, he gets in front of the door. He knocks a lot of times to get Diana’s attention, or maybe Eric’s. Steve doesn’t remember if they got back here from the party, but it’s worth trying.

As the door opens, he takes a step forward. “Hey! My laptop charger broke, and I have to send this very important  email-" He takes a deep breath, not believing who is in front of them. “What-”

“It’s you,” he whispers, feeling a knot in his throat and rubbing his clammy hands together.

“It’s me” You rub your eyes one more time, getting rid of the blur on your eyes from being woken up. “Steve?” Your heart starts to beat against your chest so fast that you swear it’s hurting you.

Steve stares at you, it’s like the first time he saw you all those years ago. He didn’t believe in love at first sight until he felt his body giving up and just yearning for you. He feels it all again, you look even more beautiful than before, but with your signature heavy gaze. 

“I'm sorry if I’m interrupting, I can just...“

“No? no. Uh, come in, let me find my charger.”

This is not how you imagined seeing him again. The last time you dreamt about him, you were seeing him for the first time at the Hawkins airport, You ran to him, and he caught you in his arms, kissing every inch of your face. And now, with your heart beating faster than ever and your feet carrying you to your room, you can’t help but feel like you are having a nightmare.

You hurry up, find your charger, and run back to Steve.

“Here, you can keep it. I have two of them,” you say. He still looks at you with his mouth slightly open and his eyes studying every part of your face.

Keep it. He knows you are doing this because you are nice, but a part of you still recognizes all the love you once had for him. Or have, because it never faded away. It’s still your Steve, slightly older and with a confused expression on his face. 

He takes the charger from your hands, your fingers touching him for a couple of seconds. When you finally lock eyes with him, you can see his glassy eyes while yours look the same. He didn’t want to believe it was you, you were so close all this time.

“I thought i’d never see you again,” you whisper, almost inaudible, but he can hear it. As if its ears were trained to hear even the lowest tone of your voice. 

But the air feels tense, awkward. He doesn’t say anything, and you stand in front of him like before, frozen in your place as a wave of anxiety washes you over. You stare at each other, trying to avoid all these feelings rushing through your veins.

“I need to send this email, I’ll be right back.”

He goes back to his apartment, leaving you and your overwhelming feelings alone. You close the door to your apartment and take some time to process everything. Steve is here, your Steve. The boy you once called the love of your life, the only boy you’ve ever loved.

You weren’t sure you were going to see him again. You gave up on it a few months ago, knowing it would take a miracle to see him again. And he was so close to you all this time.

When you hear the knock on the door again, you open it faster this time. Steve stands up in front of you, watching your tears roll down your cheeks. He wraps his arms around your body, hugging you so tightly as if you were going to disappear. Your arms hug his torso, letting your head fall against his chest for a second before your sighs turn into sobs.

“I can’t believe it’s really you,” Steve whispers, convincing himself to not let you go. He fears the alarm will go off and he will have to wake up from his dream. 

“I know, it feels like a dream, please don’t let go,” you say, as if you were reading his mind all this time. 

“I won’t”

Steve rests his chin on your head, letting his own tears fall. You stay in the hug for a long time, feeling his warmth against your body, and his arms push you closer to him. You dig your fingers in his back, wanting to feel him more and wishing for this not to be some sick joke.

He places one of his hands on your head, kissing your forehead, before leaning back and searching for your face.

“Hi,” you say as you look at him, tears on his face just like yours.

“Hi,” he smiles, slightly. You do the same, looking at every inch of his face. Remembering all the moles your mind seemed to forget with the time.

You admire each other, letting your mind take you back to Hawkins and all those years you spent together.

“I missed you so much,” he says, slicing the awkward silence with a knife, now rubbing your back and trying to get you relaxed. As your sobs stop, you let go of him and invite him inside.

“I missed you too.” You smile again. The inches separating you are killing you, but there’s too much to say and feel.

“You stopped calling,” Steve says, with a sour tone in his voice you’ve never heard before.

“The phone works both ways.” You bite back, crossing your arms in front of your chest. Protecting you from what’s coming.

“I-” Steve mutters, avoiding your eyes and looking all over the room.

“You? What? Did you forget about me?” you ask. “We made a promise.”

The mix of feelings that sit right at the top of your chest starts to reveal themselves. It’s all so confusing, and you weren’t prepared for this. You want to blame him for the time lost, but you know it’s also your fault.

“Why are you bringing this up right now? I saw you for the first time at a fucking bus stop and thought I was going crazy. It’s too much!”

Steve feels relieved; his mind wasn’t betraying him, and he wasn’t going crazy. It was really you—the new you. 

“Just say the truth. You didn’t answer my call when I got into college or when I moved in.”

“You called?”

“I called your house since you didn’t reply to my texts or emails. No one answered.”

“I got into a fight with them, and I moved in with Hopper. I was having a hard time, I’m sorry.”

He confesses. You see the way his lips turn into a pout, his tears threatening to fall again.

“What happened?”

“I messed up, had to retake a year.”

"Oh,” it’s the only thing you can think of. Some things made sense, but you still had a lot of questions.

“I didn’t tell you because I was embarrassed and so disappointed in myself. No one heard about you, or your family, so I thought you didn’t want to see me, and I had the feeling you were fine without me.”

“We had to move again, two times. But this is the college of our dreams, I didn’t see you here the first year. I thought you chose a different one.”

“You know me, I don’t break promises.”

He looks back at you again, it takes everything in him not to walk to you and kiss you. It takes everything in you to not do the same.

“Listen, I have an interview today, but can we have dinner? I still have a lot of things to say, a lot of things to ask, and it’s been so long.” you blur out. 

“Sure, I have a shift at the coffee shop, so I’ll see you at seven?”

“Yeah, that’s okay, Where do you work?” you ask, suddenly shivering. It’s really him, this isn’t a dream.

“In a coffee shop that’s on Main,” he replies, “I know you never go there, I would’ve seen you.”

“I’ve been busy.”

Right. Diana mentioned a boyfriend. His heart suddenly stops, fearing that he is seeing you again just to lose you again.

“I know,” he says, resting his hands on his hips, looking around the room to avoid your eyes again. “Good luck on your interview.”

“Thank you, good luck on your shift." You can feel the awkwardness coming back, the uncomfortable silence threatening to come back. “I’ll see you at seven!”

“I’ll pick you up here,” he says, You can only nod before he turns his back on you. 

"Stevie,” you say. He is about to open his front door when he hears your voice again.

“Yes?” he says, turning his head slightly to see you. He missed that nickname, you are the only one who calls him like that. 

You want to keep talking and confessing your true feelings right now, but you have things to do. He is more important than everything else, you got him back, you don’t want to waste time. 

“Say hi to Robin for me.” 

He nods, then walks into his apartment. You close the door of yours once again.

Fear and excitement occupy most of your brain right now. You are praying for him to still want you, to love you back as much as you've loved him this whole time. Being his best friend would be a great start, but being back to be his love sounds even better.

IV. You are the best thing that's ever been mine.

Steve paces around his apartment, Robin and Chrissy are back, and they watch him mumble something under his breath. 

“Everything will be fine, you will talk to her and get back together,” Robin says.

“What if she has a boyfriend? What if she is in love with someone else?” 

“You can always steal her away, Robin did that to me." Chrissy joins the conversation. 

They have been talking about you for hours. Steve decided to exchange his shift and stay home while Robin was taking her day off. He was too distracted to go to work today. 

“Dingus. Stop it! You are making me dizzy." Robin gets up, reaching for Steve’s hands and making him look at her. “You’ll see her when she is back, you are going to take her to that restaurant and talk like the adult you are. Okay?”

"Hot,” Chrissy blurs out.

“Thank you, sweetheart." Robin looks at her and winks. 

“Gross, get a room, you two!”  Steve’s disgusted face makes both girls laugh. 

“You can do it, dingus. You’ll get her back.” 

“I’m not sure if she feels the same or if I feel the same.”

“Didn’t you say she hugged you so tight you almost ran out of breath? That’s a good sign.” Robin’s hands travel to Steve’s shoulders, shaking him up and trying to wake him up from whatever nightmare he is making up in his head. 

“And don’t start. You’ve been rejecting girls, having failed dates, and looking like a lost puppy whenever you see a girl that looks slightly like her. You two are still in love, from what you tell me and from what I feel.”

“You are right, I'm still in love with her. But it’s been a long time. I changed, she changed too.”

“Changes are good, I know it because it was hard for me to accept the real me, but I took that step because I wanted to be free,” Robin confesses, stopping Steve from giving up. “Talk. Try. You met again for a reason, don’t let that go to waste.” 

Steve nods. “What would I do without you?” He hugs Robin for a minute before hearing some voices in the hallway. He hears the front door open and close, which means you and Diana made it home. 

“You’ll be lost without me! Good luck, dingus.”

“Go get your girl, Steve!” 

Steve walks to your door and knocks, to his surprise, Diana opens the door. 

"Hi,” he says nervously. “Is she here?” 

“Yeah, she will be ready in five.”

"Alright,” Steve says, his hands clammy again, and he finds himself shaking. 

“So, you are the guy she has been talking about nonstop.” 

“I guess yes,” he replies, feeling his heart racing again. You’ve talked about him. 

“Good for you,” Diana says, before you step in. 

"Hi,” you say, looking at Steve again. You find this odd, but you are thanking whatever it was that brought him to you again. 

"Hi,” he replies, his gaze heavy on you as he takes everything in. Your soft voice, the sweet smell of your perfume. 

“Home by ten!” Diana jokes, making you laugh and shake off the anxiety that took over your body. 

You walk away from the apartments, with Steve by your side. He glances at him from time to time, and you do the same. 

“How was your shift?” you ask him, trying to get rid of the awkward feeling that washes over you again.

“I didn’t go. Too distracted for it,” he says, looking over at you as you walk to the parking lot. “How was your interview?”

"Good,” you sigh, not wanting to ramble about it at this moment. “I hope I get the job.”

“You will, you can do anything,” he says when you reach his car, noticing it looks the same way as before. 

Nothing has changed, just time. Everything feels the same, like it froze, letting time pass over it without a single consequence. 

Steve looks at you, his brows knit in a frown, and he is almost chewing his lip.

“If you want to ask something, just do it,” you say, making him shiver. “I know you, maybe not so well anymore, but I do.”

“What if your boyfriend sees us?” he asks.

A chuckle falls from your lips, shaking your head and pushing the hair out of your face.

“I don’t have a boyfriend,  he broke up with me yesterday, and I saw it coming. I’m over it.”

“Oh, do you want to talk about it? We can stay at home, i can leave you alone, and we can reschedule our dinner because i don’t want you to feel like you.”

“I’m still in love with you,” you interrupt, confessing. With a soft look in your eyes, Steve gets lost in them. “I’m sorry, I can't waste any more time. I need to get this out of me. I’ve been looking for you in everyone, everywhere. You are here, and you look the same, I know time has passed, but I believe my love for you has kept you exactly as I remember you.”

Steve doesn’t know what to do, the truth is, he has been waiting to hear those words for a long time. He has been waiting to see you, to hug you, and to kiss you.

“I’m still in love with you too,” he says, running his fingers through his hair, pushing his golden locks back. The sun is setting completely, and you can still see how it shines. “I never got over you, I was forced to move on because i felt like I didn’t deserve you. And I never wanted us to fall apart, I needed you all this time.”

He gets closer to you, his chest almost bumping into yours. He hesitates to kiss you in the moment, even to touch your hand. The setting reminds him of the last time he saw you, your last night at Hawkins.

“If you want, we can try to make up for the lost time and give it another try.”

“I’d love that.”

He gets closer now, with your confession turning into an invitation. Steve places both of his hands on your cheeks, rubbing the soft skin with his thumbs. It takes you back to that night, it feels like you are relieving that moment just to make it right this time.

“Baby-” he is so close to your lips, his words tingle your lips, and you never stop looking into his eyes. Those sweet brown eyes you missed so much.

“I’ve missed that, honey." He laughs at the nickname, but it still makes him shiver and smile like a little kid.

“And I’ve missed you, kiss, please?”

Steve nods, pressing his lips against yours. It’s a soft, slow kiss. You can feel the breeze of the cold night on your face as you flush when Steve leans his head to the side to trap your bottom lip between his lips to taste you. You close your eyes, savoring the moment. One thing you forgot and cried for every night was this.

His warm lips against yours, his taste. His hands squeeze your cheeks as you press your body against his.

It’s the first kiss since that night, two years have passed, and this still feels so familiar. So safe. The kiss is even sweeter thinking of all the time you’ve dreamed about this, of all the unspoken feelings you communicate to each other with everything your lips brush.

When air is needed, you lean your head back a bit. You giggle at the same time, and he places a kiss on your forehead. Happiness takes over you, it feels like floating.

“I still have that beanie baby, you know?”

“I do, Teddy.”

“Don’t call me that!” You hit his arm slightly, and he chuckles while rubbing his arm dramatically.

“It’s cute, it suits you,” he says, leaving a peck on your lips, resting his hands on your hips this time.

“It’s ridiculous!” You scrunch up your nose, and he leans in to smooth it off with a kiss. “Let’s go eat, I’m starving.”

“Only if my dessert is going to be this sweet girl, the universe got back to me,” he says, picking you up, his arms hugging your waist. You can feel your feet dangling in the air. You tangle your arms around his neck so you don’t fall when he spins you around.

“Yes, yes, I'll be your dessert!” You giggle as you feel his lips on your cheeks, and when he stops, you peck his soft cheeks back. “In which house?”

“Oh, I don’t know, it depends on how loud you are.”

“Stevie!” Your cheeks glow red, and he laughs at your sudden flushed face.

“I’m joking! we‘ll figure it out later." He doesn't stop hugging you, even when he puts you down, your feet are now touching the concrete of the parking lot.

“Which one?” you ask, teasingly. Trying to hold back the giggle that is about to escape your lips.

“Both!” Steve says.

You get back in his car, and he proposes the idea of repeating everything you did that last night but with a different ending. You find a nice diner, not as nice as the one outside Hawkins,but it does the job. The old jukebox is there to dance after you eat burgers and fries and you end up stealing his cherry again.

When he picks up the sun, you get up from the booth where you are sitting and run up to him. One of your arms rests around his neck, and the other hand is holding your hand. He interlocks his fingers with yours while his free hand sits on your waist. He pushes you to his chest, the closest he can get you to him, and you start to sway around the checkered floor of the diner. Dancing like nobody's watching, again.

“You are the best thing that’s ever been mine, baby." He sings along with the song before kissing you again.

“I’ve always been yours, honey”

This night is even more magical than the last one, and you’ll have tons of them.

tags: all @munsonology @emistrash @livsters @paybacksawitch @ali-r3n @keeksandgigz @babybatlover @fanfictionlover277353 / steve @stveharringtn @double-vision-in-a-rose-blush

please please reblog to support your creators! comments are appreciated !! my ask is always open if you have any feedback. thank you so much for reading ♡

[byunpum]

Experiment 56 [part 4]

Neteyam x Human reader ( like a mix of human and Navi )

and sullyFAM x human reader, spider x reader , and quaritch x reader (dont blame me )

Tw: mmm neteyam baby, reader being mutant, neytiri being a sweetheart-mother, jealousy, My daddy issues with jake, spider being spider,Watch out for quaritch, all the characters are aged up 20's.

POV: Y/N is surprised that it is an indispensable piece for the human race. Her family will do everything possible to keep her hidden and safe…

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6 | PART 7

Experiment 56 masterlist | Experiment 56 sequel Masterlist

Note: I wanted to write a lot of things in this part, but I didn't want it to be so long. But I still hope you like it. I am really enjoying making this series, soon I will be posting a masterlist of this series to make it easier to find all the parts. Thank you very much for your support. And remember that if you want me to do more stuff about other characters, go ahead, the request is open. From now on I warn you that I am not very expert in this Navi culture, but I did my best. And I'll be using events that happened in the movie, but they won't be exactly the same. And sorry for the spelling. English is not my mother tongue.

The drive was long and very exhausting. It was two nights of travel, jake was already worried about spider and you. You were more fragile than the others, so he decided to take a break, it was 2:00 a.m. on the third night. Jake signaled with his hand for them to land on a small islet. Everyone following jake and they landed.

"Let's get some rest, at sunrise we will be leaving. We are very close to our destination" said jake, as he took some things down from his ikran. Neteyam got off his ikran and helped you down. Neteyam looked down and gave you a small smile. Everyone needed this rest, the exhausted face of the group was visible. Neytiri called you to help her with tuk, tuk might be taller than you, but she was still your little sister. And you knew she was a little uncomfortable, so you sat down on the floor and held tuk in your arms while she was still asleep. Neytiri and Jake were making a improvised shelter, it wasn't the best, but it would give them warmth and a dry place to rest. While from the others, they were taking some things out of their pack.

"Are you okay?" loak sat down next to you. "Yeah, I just…I miss home that's all." Loak put his head on your shoulder, he didn't have to talk to answer you. That's why he was your best friend. A memory comes to your mind, you remember when loak was born you were so impressed, he was your baby, your little brother. You helped neytiri with his food, to walk, to talk. Even kiri and neteyam got jealous, because you didn't want to play with them anymore, you just wanted to take care of loak. When you two were growing up you had many arguments, but you always solved them by hugging and taking a nap. You laughed a little at the memory of those times. "What are you thinking?" Loak looks up." I'm thinking how much I love this family, they are so important to me. Look at what they are doing for me. They could have left me or given me up. But no…they're sacrificing everything…everything" You hadn't noticed that everyone was listening to you. Jake comes over to you, and settles in behind you, so that your back is against his chest. He gives you a big hug "How many times do we have to tell you…you're our girl. No matter what, what you look like, or where you come from. Look" you look up, as jake keeps talking " mama loves you, and kiri, loak, spider, tuk and neteyam love you. And we will do whatever it takes to protect you." Says jake, while kiri hugs you, she was already crying. Everyone comes over to give you a hug. Between tears and sobs, everyone breaks up laughing a little." Ok, everything is ready, let's rest" jake looks you in the eyes, and arranges a little bit your hair.

All the boys including you went to sleep, the order was as follows: tuk, loak, spider and kiri were together. Then a little further apart from the group were you and neteyam. Your back was to him, but neteyam was right behind her, with her tail wrapped around your leg. And one of her hands was on your waist. From the distance, jake and neytiri were watching the scene.

"don't you think… you know?" says neytiri while looking at her partner. "Are you talking about neteyam and y/n?" jake looks at the scene again and sees how you and neteyam are further apart from the group. As they are cozying up. A very common behavior in couples. " jake… I noticed the behavior that neteyam has towards y/n. It seems like they are…. Couple." Jake doesn't know what to say back to neytiri. "we can't blame him love." "but ma jake, they have grown up together. How is it possible" neytiri is looking with confusion at her partner. She couldn't understand how you two could have fallen in love. "love, you know the relationship that neteyam and y/n was never the same as with the other kids, I know neteyam likes y/n since his 8 years old. Yes they grew up together, but we have always paired them up".

"what? now it's my fault?" neytiri slaps jake on the shoulder," hey hehehe remember that time, you said that y/n was the determined partner for neteyam".

"yeah, but it was to get ninat's mom off my back. That woman is crazy" defended neytiri. There was a short silence until neytiri spoke, "I'm not worried about them being together…I prefer it that way. But how will they mate. Y/N will be able to give birth to a navi child?" jake didn't know how to answer this to neytiri. "I don't know, we'll have to wait. Besides…we are assuming they are in a relationship" jake joked with neytiri. "I'm his mother, I know there's something. I know everything." Jake laughed a little, and got up, took neytiri's hand and led her to the makeshift planter to rest for a bit.

At sunrise they all fly to their destination, it wasn't far away. So the trip went quickly. As they got closer, you could notice the whole ecosystem of this new clan, wow… it was beautiful. Crystal clear waters, warm air. Norm had told you several things, about the different clans that were in Pandora. But this was more than you had imagined, it was beautiful. You were landing on the sand, as you watched the locals approaching. You were next to neteyam, his hand was holding yours. You were a little scared, how was he going to ration. After all you and spider were human. You felt someone take your other hand and saw that it was spider. Spider looked you in the eye, he was scared, just like you. I said "calm down…we will be fine". You saw two large figures walking towards you, you knew one of them was Tonowari, but the female figure next to him you didn't know.

"I see you, Ronal, I see you, Tonowari," said Jake as he greeted him. "I see you, jake sully…. What brings you here?" asked tonowari, as ronal examined the family and noticed two small figures." We are here to… ask for shelter" ronal interrupts jake, as he walks over to spider and you. "You have demons near your family" said ronal, while examining spider. "I promise you, they are innocent. The girl is our daughter, and the boy is a friend of the family. They are good, I promise." jake was trying to convince the metkayina clan leaders. "And what is this?" Ronal looks at your braid, she can't believe her eyes. A navi braid, how is that possible? "this is a monst…" before she could finish, Neytiri stepped in front of her, pulling you away from Ronal. Neteyam pulled you close to him, while your other siblings went into defense mode. Oh no, thought jake, he didn't want this to become a problem.

"don't you dare say anything about my DAUGHTER. She is so navi, just like everyone here. You respect her" neytiri and ronal were furious. "calm down everyone…" tonowari said, while jake calmed neytiri down. You were holding neteyam's hand, loak was next to you making a wall style. "We just want shelter… we will learn their ways and adapt" jake looks at ronal and tonowari. They have a little staring match, until the man turns and looks at jake, "it's okay. You can stay, you will learn our culture and you will adapt. All of you" Tonowari looked at the two of you, you and spider swallowed. "yes, thank you very very much".

"my sons, tsireya and aonung will help you adapt" you could see the boy's displeased face. Although the girl looked very happy about her father's comment.

Ronal took another look and looked at the couple in front of him "later we will talk…and they will explain to us how she got that…and where she came from" Ronal pointed at you, while Jake just nodded. Neytiri had had enough of everything and they had just arrived. "Come with me, I'll show you to your new home" tsireya commented to them, she was the only one who was listening to them. You knew her kindness was genuine, you could feel it.

Tsireya guided them to their new home, she told us that the correct name was "marui". You found the differences between you and them interesting. You were behind neytiri, tuk was jumping behind you, while neteyam, spider, loak and kiri followed. "Here is your home, I hope it is to your liking, anything you need let us know" tsireya informs us, "thank you" we all say. You can see how loak and tsireya look at each other and then exchange looks." Heeee easy…we just got here" you joke with loak," shut up!!!" loak wants to die of embarrassment. "oh, one other thing…after you settle in, we'll wait for you on the coast. You'd better start your classes right away. See you" tsireya said goodbye.

"ok, family all together" jake said, neteyam drags loak to his side, kiri sits next to him. You settle next to tuk, sitting her on your lap, while she plays with your hair. Spider stays in the corner. He didn't want to interrupt. "spider I said everyone!!!" jake stated, spider came over and sat next to loak. "well… we're very lucky to have been accepted. i want you to behave yourselves, is that clear?" jake pointed to loak, spider, and you. Believe it or not, you guys were the trouble trio. And you always got neteyam involved. Kiri wasn't a troublemaker, but sometimes she would join them on adventures. "Yes, sir," they all said.

"mom, I want to go home" said tuk, while neytiri stroked her cheek, "hey, what does your father always say?" neytiri looks at them all." The sully's are always united." Jake claps a little." Cheers guys!!!! "jake tries to cheer up the situation, he takes tuk in his arms and carries her outside the marui, so she could see the view. Neytiri accompanies them, after all this was going to be their new home.

"Wow, I'm dying" you say, as you lie down on the ground. Spider laughs at you and imitates your movements. "I keep forgetting you two are a couple of lazy bums." Loak complains, "but yeah, I'm exhausted" he lays down next to you. Kiri laughs a little." Believe it or not, I'm happy…we're all here…together" kiri joins them on the floor and lies down. Neteyam sighs a little," hey come…come here." You wave your arms, inviting him to join the loose group. "come on!!! I know what you want, just for a moment." You tell him winking at him, neteyam laughs and walks over to where you are. He literally lies down on top of you. You scream a little, but you hug him. "yaaa…don't start with your lovers stuff." Says loak, as he tries to get neteyam off of you. Spider looks at the scene a little serious, even though he didn't want to admit it he was a little jealous, your relationship with neteyam.

"You're jealous" said neteyam, fighting with his brother." jealous!!!??? Of what?" loak, keep pushing him " of me not hugging you" neteyam slides down and ends up on top of loak and hugs him." Yaaaaaaaa let me go!!!" you laugh as you watch them play. You had your differences, but you knew they loved each other. You turn your eyes to see spider, "is something wrong?" you ask him, his face was very serious. "no, it's nothing" spider changes his expression. You knew something was wrong with him, he was usually happy, he was the most cheerful of them all. You assume his change is because they were in a new place, that must be it.

Jake and Neytiri come back in, and notice that Neteyam and Loak were already fighting. Kiri was laughing and you and spider were trying to get things out of the boxes. "hey guys!!" jake looked at them" sorry" neteyam looked at him sideways. There was silence, until jake jumps on top of the boys. Neytiri sighed and let them play, there were few times when Jake was not so strict with the boys. Neytiri walked over to where you and spider were setting things up. "Thanks for helping…spider" said neytiri, you don't comment anything, your mother naturally isn't nice to spider, but you see she is trying.

Later, you all go out to look for tsireya and her brother aonung. "hey, we're here, come on !!!!" shouts tsireya, as everyone jumps in and jumps into the water. You were frozen on the edge. "come on, it's okay. It's safe here" tsireya tries to convince you, but what she didn't know is that you weren't a big fan of the deep, you knew how to swim, but you didn't like it. Neteyam knew that, so she went to the edge and raised her arms, "come on, come down calmly and I'll hold you". "but I'm going to drown!!!" you say as you try to calmly lower yourself into his arms, aonung laughs at you "you guys seem to be very good in the trees, but here…" tsireya gives him a smack, and looks at him telling him to get a grip. You finally enter the water, you were holding neteyam's neck. "Don't worry, you'll get used to it," said tsireya, and you did. A week had passed and you were already competing with loak and spider to see who could hold their breath the longest. Spider got used to it very quickly, you didn't know how he did it… but he learned everything so fast. You admired that about him, you could barely swim.

It wasn't until it was time to ride an ilu, you were so excited. Aonung had told you that there were some smaller ones, and they were the perfect size for you. For Jake this wasn't enough though, he was right next to Aonung, making sure everything was okay. As soon as you saw the ilus, you fell in love with one in particular, it was very pretty. The creature came up to you, and nuzzled its face into your stomach. You laughed a little. Aonung indicated that you could now join her, you took your braid and connected it to the ilu. Aonung was surprised, because the creature remained calm. You pulled the creature up, and it began to swim. Wow…this was so new to you and you loved it. A smile came out of jake's face, it was the first time he saw you bond with a creature, and you had no problems, he was so proud of you.

You loved it all, they had never questioned your appearance, neither yours nor spider's. You had heard some comments from the younger metkayina, though. But even Ronal was accepting of you…you liked to go where she would teach the other clan girls how to prepare medicines. She even prepared a special cream, for you and spider to put on and protect you from the sun. You loved spending time with tsireya, tuk and kiri, and discovering places with loak and spider. But most of all, you loved meeting neteyam in a secret place. According to neteyam, he found it by accident and realized that no one went there. So, in the evenings, you two would meet there. To spend some time alone.

It was in the afternoon, everyone was finishing their tasks, neytiri had told you to look for some shells on the beach, you weren't complaining. You weren't a big fan of swimming all day, so you went without a problem. Besides, your snail collection needed new pieces. You were walking along the beach, until you heard someone approaching, you looked to see who it was and saw spider coming up.

"hello!!!" said spider, as he runs towards you," hello…Are you done with your tasks?" you ask, as you continue collecting snails. " Yes, actually there wasn't much to do. So everyone went home" replied spider, while trying to tell you something else.

" Is something wrong, I've noticed you're acting a little strange?" you ask, as you sit down on the sand. Spider takes a seat next to you. "Well yes" you knew spider was nervous because he started playing with one of the decorations on his loincloth. "You and neteyam are a couple, right?" says spider, you knew how this was going to end. "Well, we're a couple…we haven't bonded before eywa yet. But…" spider interrupts you." You can't do that…. y/n, you and neteyam are totally different", you couldn't believe what spider was telling you. "wait what????" you question him.

" Yeah, what will your parents say, and everyone else. You guys are different in everything. Don't take this the wrong way, but you must be with someone just like you." Says spider, very confident. You take a deep breath, you get up from the floor. "Listen to me spider, you had your chance… and what did you do to me? You humiliated me, you said I was weird, that you wouldn't be with someone like me. And now when I'm happy, when I finally find someone to love me. You come to claim me?" you say annoyed.

After the first reject that spider gave you, at 17 years old you two decided to go out. It was not for a long time, but it was long enough to hear how spider talked to other navi guys, that he was only dating you because he felt sorry for you. You remember how it hurt, and how neteyam was always by your side. Still, you forgive spider, and you continued to be friends.

Spider stands up, "wait no, I don't want you to be annoyed with me…I just." Spider looks down, "you nothing!!!! I've given my neck for you…I had you brought to us. And here you are claiming me who I want." You yell at spider," And I thank you, but he doesn't deserve you. y/n" spider tries to grab your arm, but you break free from his grip and keep walking to the house. You hear spider shouting from far away.

Neteyam was on his way to the beach to check on you, but he saw you walking in disgust. As you were getting closer, you stopped "hey, what's up?" asks neteyam as he gets down to your level. You walk over and hug him. "Ma neteyam, they keep hurting me. They keep doing it…and I can't shake this feeling of guilt" you say, as tears stream down your face. "what are you talking about?" neteyam caresses your back and takes your face in her hands, to give you a kiss. "Hey, why don't we give these snails to mom and then go to our place, okay?" Neteyam says as he adjusts your hair a little. You nod your head, as you go ahead to go to the house. Neteyam gets up and walks behind you, but looks back. He notices how Spider is walking in the same direction you were coming from. Spider was already getting on Neteyam's nerves.

On the other side of Pandora…

"It's been two weeks already…two" screams General Ardmore . "I know general, but we didn't find anything. They're missing" says Quaritch, trying to defend himself. Lyle was at his side, and gave him a worried look. "Colonel, I need you to bring that girl to me. And I don't care if she's still alive. I want her in the facility in a week. That's a damn order" Quaritch nodded with his face. He lifted himself from the seat, and walked out of the briefing room. Lyle followed him, not daring to say anything. Quaritch stops dead in his track "you know what the problem is, Lyle" said Quaritch "what is it, sir?" Lyle walks forward, "I don't want to catch her…something in me tells me to leave her alone. It's like a force telling me to leave her." Quaritch brings his hand to his chest, as he looks at Lyle with concern," it won't be…that thing the navi say. what is it? mmm eywa?" Quaritch laughs a little at Lyle," you're really crazy, you don't believe in that stuff?" miles wanted to think Lyle was crazy, but inside he was thinking the same thing. " I don't know, you know that these….. points to his body are connected and blah blah blah blah with that spirit stuff. And who knows, if they're telling you something." There was a silence between the two men. Quaritch gave Lyle's shoulder a squeeze, "who knows, who knows? But if so…whatever it is is talking to me. It's telling me I should have her…to myself." Miles chuckled a little to himself. As he kept walking to get everything ready.

p.s: I wanted to focus more on the relationship of the characters, than on how they lived together in the Metkayina clan. The good stuff is coming soon ahhh. I hope that between today or tomorrow chapter 5 will be ready. Kisses!!!

Neytiri babies: @st4rrry @valeriinee @inutheangel @gielrmn @sloppierjewel @purple7theparty @itscheybaby @ssc7514 @namorslit @ducks118 @tpwkstiles @elli-aesthetics @nao-cchi @uselessbutinteresting @msjae @austynparksandpizza @gamorxa @andyyy4444 @itssomeonereading @meivap @barbii04 @mm-nope @dorck26 @nessrin @purple7theparty @ssc7514 @sloppierjewel @yeosxxx @legendleopard100 @pandoragalora @jayzes-blog @ducks118 @laylasbunbunny @kyriekurokami @heesoftiefreak @teamanime @d4rno @dumb-fawkin-bitch-bitch @burdeningbitch @allsouls-emma @aceofheartzzz @famousbagelhandspurse @fanficblogs @lilyofthetigers @mjnij

@cherrywinesab @sloppierjewel @bubbleguppy0315 @ellielovesrobinarellano @mrs-sullys-blog @lovekeeho @vectoriscommitingcrimes @kimtaehussy @bimbotinkerbell  @aceofheartzzz

If there is any problem with the tags, let me know. I have had many people asking me to be on the tag list, if you are not on the list yet you can send me a message.

[the-bad-batch-baroness]

Where's Mommy?

Wolffe x Lilith Sestri (OFC)

Part 17

Summary: Wolffe's wife suddenly dies, leaving him a single father in the middle of a war.

Pairing: Wolffe x Lilith Sestri (OFC)

Characters: Wolffe, Fox, Comet

Tags & Warnings: heavy angst, mention of death, off-screen death, spousal death, grief, hurt/comfort, family fluff, funeral

Word Count: 2.1k

Author's Note: Y'all, we are only a few chapters away from meeting Lilith! I am so excited to introduce her! I don't want to say things are going to happen quickly from now on, but the pace is definitely going to pick up. The foundation has been set, and now it's time to get moving with the plot. And who better than Fox to help move us along? This is another chill chapter with lots of brother-time, so no one should be doing any crying... I hope. As always, please enjoy 💚

Beta: @/beating-a-dead-plot

Part 1 || Prev | Next

Series Masterlist

The morning came quickly–too quickly–as Wolffe woke before the sunrise. With the time he spent in space, his body never followed the rising or setting of the suns, but rather a clock that ticked deep within his biology. It was both a blessing and a curse in his mind. On one hand, he never had to set an alarm, but on the other, sleeping in was never an option. Cara was still asleep though, resting against his chest under the protective covering of his arms. It would be a bit before she awoke, but that gave him time to think about his mission for the day.

He stared silently up at the ceiling and reviewed every step he needed to take to ensure she was cared for while he was gone. He only had one rotation to accomplish it all, seeing as he would be departing before sunset on the next rotation, so there was no room for errors or setbacks. He had to be calm, calculated, and resolute. Most of those traits came naturally to Wolffe, but when his daughter was involved, a lot of who he was as a commander fell to the wayside. It felt cruel to shove part of her out of his mind, but life was also just as cruel.

It was only an hour before Comet found his way to their room to relieve Wolffe. Ever the cautious man, he poked his head into the dark room to make sure it was safe to enter. Wolffe watched him with amusement, the light from the hall outlining Comet's form, and he would've said something, but he didn't want to wake Cara. The last thing he needed was for her to get clingy before he left for the diner. She knew he would come back later in the day, but it didn't matter to her; leaving was leaving. For Wolffe, a silent hand-off was a lot easier.

Besides, she liked being with Comet more than she liked being with him. At least, that's what he told himself when he had to make the tough decisions that made his daughter cry. Justification wasn't the right word for it, but it allowed him to be the bad guy when he needed to be and allowed Comet to remain the good guy that she needed in life. Even though Comet left when Wolffe left, in Cara's mind, Wolffe forced Comet to leave. She might not understand how the hierarchy worked, but she did understand that when Wolffe spoke, the others listened.

Carefully, Wolffe slid himself off the bed and placed Cara back down onto the indent his body made. Both men held their breath in anticipation, but she must have been very tired because she stayed asleep and barely stirred at the swap. In the dim light from the doorway, Wolffe and Comet exchanged silent words with the same hand motions and gestures they used on the battlefield when vocal communication was impossible. It was clunky, but effective, and got the job done. Once Comet was briefed, Wolffe changed his clothes and left for the diner.

His journey to the diner was uneventful, practically quiet. It was still early in the morning for Coruscant's surface layer to be fully awake, but the subsurface layer was still bustling from the nightlife and now busy setting up for their daytime clientele. The diner wasn't a fancy place, but it was clone-friendly and served good food at a reasonable price. Most clones visited the bars and enjoyed the revelry late nights, but any level-headed, seasoned commander would rather sleep all night and eat a hot breakfast than get a cheap lap dance and a wicked hangover.

It was also rare for multiple commanders to be on Coruscant at once, however at least one was always there–Fox. When Wolffe entered the diner, he knew exactly where to go; left and down to the last booth against the window. It was their usual booth, but usual meant they did this often, which was far from the truth. The last time they met up was during his last leave, months ago, and before that, it was nearly a full cycle. It's not that Wolffe chose to ignore his batch brother, but if he had to choose between seeing his family or seeing Fox, he would choose his family every time.

As Wolffe approached the booth, he chuckled. Fox looked as tired as always, but perhaps a touch more than usual. Fox held the rim of his mug against his lips, the steam wisping up in front of his half-lidded eyes, with his elbows resting on the table, and a blank expression on his face. It almost looked like the mug was holding Fox up, instead of the other way around. If Wolffe didn't know any better, he would've thought Fox was asleep with his eyes open, but he did know better–that was just Fox in his normal resting state.

Wolffe slid into the bench seat across from Fox and stretched his arms over his head before picking up the mug of caf his brother ordered for him. He inhaled the warm and bitter fragrance before taking a sip and then hummed in satisfaction with the familiar brew. There was nothing like a diner caf. No offense to his wife's caf-maker, of course, but something about a cheap diner caf made him feel like a real man. It was leagues better than what the GAR gave them, but not as good as the caf from the surface layer. It was a wonderful middle brew.

"So," Wolffe said as he placed his mug down. "How's the wife?"

"Fat and ugly," Fox answered nonchalantly, then took a sip of this caf. "At least that's what she says every time I ask, which apparently is too many times."

Wolffe laughed. "When's she due?"

"Couple more weeks," Fox said.

"Are you nervous?" Wolffe asked.

"Kinda," Fox said with a shrug. "The pregnancy's been rough on her."

"She didn't get better?" Wolffe asked, then took another sip from his mug.

"Nope," Fox sighed. "She got sick in the first trimester and it's been downhill ever since."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Wolffe said. "It's a good thing she has you to support her."

Fox huffed. "Yeah, support…" He took a long sip after that comment. "The only support she wants from me is to stop breathing so loudly. Some days I think she actually wants me dead."

Wolffe raised a quizzical eyebrow. Fox looked more like he was taking shots of his caf as if it was a cheap whiskey, rather than savoring it. "Are you okay?"

"Just tired," Fox said, then set his mug down and rubbed his face. "She doesn't sleep, I don't sleep, we don't sleep."

"The baby won't sleep either," Wolffe said. He chuckled knowingly to himself with a smile hidden behind the rim of his mug.

Fox shot him with an unamused look through his fingers.

"Sorry," Wolffe said. "But I've got some experience."

Fox waved his hand to dismiss the apology. "Anyway, we're here to talk about you, not me." He paused contemplatively. "I'm sorry about Maria."

Wolffe bit his lip and set his mug down. He stared into the dark liquid and fidgeted with the handle. "I… I don't want to talk about that."

"Okay…" Fox said softly. "Then what do you want to talk about?"

"Cara," Wolffe said without looking up.

"What about her?" Fox asked.

Wolffe tapped his finger against the table as he thought about how he wanted to ask what he needed to ask. "I'm redeploying tomorrow night."

"Already?" Fox asked. "She must be having a hard time with that. You know, since…"

Wolffe tapped his finger faster and harder against the table, the silence getting awkward.

"You did tell her, right?" Fox asked.

"It's better this way," Wolffe said, deciding not to answer the question directly. Keeping the actual words in his mouth made the idea of not telling Cara more palatable for him. Selfish maybe, but he didn't want to handle any more emotional drama. He wanted just a bit of normalcy before he left and then a clean break to harden his mind. It was better that way.

"For who?" Fox asked.

"Listen," Wolffe sighed. "I didn't come here for a lecture. I need your help."

"Wolffe, I know what you're gonna ask," Fox said. He shook his head. "And the answer is no."

"Fox, c'mon," Wolffe pleaded. "You're the closest thing I have to family."

"I get that," Fox said. "But my hands are tied. Between my duties to Guard and my sick, pregnant wife, who can barely take care of herself, we couldn't possibly look after her too."

Wolffe closed his eyes and threw his head back against the booth cushion. "Kriff."

"Besides," Fox said. "Cara doesn't even like me."

"That's only because the gray in your hair scares her," Wolffe said without opening his eyes. "Maybe you should dye it."

Fox huffed and crossed his arms. "My wife likes it and as long as it turns her on, the gray parts are staying gray." He grinned smugly. "She calls me her silver Fox."

Wolffe leaned forward and twisted his lip in disgust. "Oh, gross. Please keep that stuff to yourself."

"But seriously," Fox said, changing the subject back. "You know my situation. If anyone found out about my wife… my kid, it would all be over. I can't risk it. Not even for you."

"Thorn?" Wolffe asked.

"Nope."

"Hound?"

"Not a chance."

"Thire?"

"Never."

"Stone?"

Fox snorted. "I wouldn't trust him to keep a plant alive."

Wolffe groaned and hung his head in his hands.

"I know you have your beef with the Jedi, and I get why you don't want her in the Temple, but what about a nanny?" Fox asked.

Wolffe lifted his head and looked at Fox in confusion. "A nanny?"

"Yeah," Fox said. "We're hiring one for when the baby comes."

"What does it do?" Wolffe asked.

"Well, there are different types," Fox said. "Some work part-time and come to the home on certain days, and there are some that work full-time and live in the home. They do pretty much anything you want–the cooking, the cleaning, the shopping, the laundry."

"Really?" Wolffe asked. He crossed his arms, intrigued by the idea of a live-in nanny. "How much does it cost?"

"I don't know," Fox said with a shrug. "Her parents are paying for it since they physically can't help us with the baby. I guess we got lucky with that."

Wolffe huffed. "Yeah. Real lucky."

"Easy, vod," Fox said. "I'm not trying to rub this in your face."

Wolffe sighed. "I know."

"Here," Fox said, then grabbed a napkin and started to write on it. "This is the name and the coordinates of the agency we're working with. They're not that far from here, so go take a look for yourself."

Wolffe studied the words on the napkin, then looked at Fox. "You sure they're legit?"

Fox looked offended. "I'm the Marshall Commander of the Coruscant Guard. Don't you think I'd do background checks on every employee before I let them near my son?"

"So, it's a boy?" Wolffe asked, a smirk turning up on his lip.

"Yes, it's a boy," Fox said.

"Got any names picked out yet?" Wolffe asked, still smiling.

"Well," Fox said, "I wanted to call him Aran, but she wanted to call him Eli, so we compromised and his name is Eli."

Wolffe laughed heartily.

"It's not funny," Fox said, but he couldn't help cracking a smile himself.

"Why are we so bad at naming children?" Wolffe asked. "Maria insisted on naming Cara because she was afraid I'd pick out something stupid like, tooka."

"I mean, that's just normal clone naming conventions," Fox said.

Wolffe hummed, remembering back to when he and his wife discussed baby names. "But babies aren't clones."

"No, I guess they're not," Fox said.

Wolffe and Fox continued their conversation as they ate breakfast with both men reminiscing about simpler times and trading stories of newer times. It was more than Wolffe could've asked for. Although he would never admit it, he felt a touch lonely since his wife's passing. The men under his command were his brothers, but Fox was his equal, someone who could talk back to him, set him straight, and be honest. It was a rarity among the ranks with the commanders spread thin. He missed his batch brothers, and it was good to catch up with one.

Part 1 || Prev | Next

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

AO3

Tag List:

@nahoney22 @sunshinesdaydream @padawancat97 @coraex @lickylickylicky @homemade-clones @523rdrebel @clonemedickix @moonwrecked @stunkbiggu @cdblake1565 @ladytano420 @moonlightwarriorqueen @anxiouspineapple99 @clonethirstingisreal @dreamie411 @trixie2023 @cw80831 @ca77m3anna @reader6898 @kimiheartblade @dukeoftheblackstar @arc-trooper-8008 @knightprincess @kell-of-storms @skellymom @grindeeloo @totallyunidentified @ladylucksrogue @tesahuy1629 @tanaka @gjrain20-starwars @nerd-ika @imabeautifulbutterfly @tallrock35 @ivanessame @msmeredithrose @griffedeloup @salaminus @roboticsuccubus83 @totally-not-your-babe @rinwritesfics @vithe-potato @haybellewrites @unicorngirl17 @notgonnaedit

Join my taglist HERE

Tip me a tea on Ko-fi HERE

[captain039]

Wasteland Heat (Redone) PT 2

Cooper Howard(The Ghoul) x reader 

Warnings: Violence, blood, gore, AOB dynamics, heat, oral F receiving, smut, swearing, fallout stuff, implied cousin incest, virgin reader, drug usage, needles, plus size reader, sexual assault, Four getting stabbed :'(

Previous part <-

You're lost. You know it, Lucy keeps walking in one direction and you swear it's gotten you nowhere. She doesn't want to admit they she is lost either she keeps looking from her pip-boy to the never ending wasteland like you have an actual destination in mind. You follow her through the rubble and sand before you finally come across a semi standing house. You follow her through the opening and sigh a bit before she suddenly stops making you run into her. 

"Lucy?" You question peering around her and seeing the table with skeletons. You gulp a little seeing two adult sized skeletons and three children sized ones. You watch her walk forward slowly before she picks something up on the table and frowns at it. 

"What is it?" You ask but she quickly places it back on the table like it was acid and quickly leaves, you following behind her in confusion. It's getting dark quickly as you find another relatively standing house and set up on what would have been a balcony. She puts together a fire while you take a sip of water and lay down your blanket. 

"What was in the house?" You ask and she stops her movements momentarily before she continues. 

"Nothing" She brushes off and you watch her before giving up. You grab your medication out and take four pills one by one before lying down on the harsh ground. You fiddle with your pip boy for a bit before taking it off and lying it down beside you as Lucy does the same and lies down on her blanket. 

"Well goodnight," She says voice back to its normal chirpy self and you sigh muttering a goodnight. 

You wake up to low growling and shoot up from your blanket seeing a dog illuminated by the fire. You don't move unsure of what to do as Lucy also wakes up and eyes the dog with wide eyes. You glance at her before the dog quickly moves and attacks something behind her, you jolt as you hear a disgusting crunch and animalistic cry.

"You should know better than to light fires at night" a voice says and you just about jump a mile and look to see an older man sitting down at the end of your blanket. You sit up, bring your knees to your chest and eye him. 

"It's dangerous out here" He adds.

"We're looking for our father," She says after some silence and a glance at the dog.

"You know people joked about bugs surviving the bombs, but they didn't just survive, they adapted, became stronger to survive out here" His words make you want to throw up as you realise the dog is eating an overgrown bug. 

"You both need to go home, especially you" He gives you a pointed look and your mouth opens and closes. 

"It's not safe here," He says and stands. 

"Four come" he calls and the dog goes to his side and they disappear into the dark wasteland. 

"We aren't safe here" you mutter as Lucy nudges the fire out with a small sigh. 

"Let's go inside and just wait till sunrise ok?" she suggests and you nod following her lead. 

When morning comes you take to following her again aimlessly, you've passed more broken houses and buildings than you can count and the sun is beating down relentlessly on your neck. 

"Hey, there's someone over there!" Lucy pipes up and you follow her pointed finger to an old run down building. Sure enough, there's a figure banging against a metal object. You approach and she pulls out her tranq gun aiming it at the man. 

"Is that necessary!?" You whisper yell as you get closer. 

"Excuse me!" She calls and the man turns to look at you both, hands in the air. You frown at his attire, a worn dirty old singlet and makeshift underwear with a pair of boots. 

"Oh, hey there, I haven't got any weapons" He says and she finally puts the gun away making you sigh quietly in relief. 

"That's ok, we're a little lost, could you give us directions?" She says and approaches closer so you're all standing with the fence in between you.

"Hi, we're looking for our dad," She says. 

"You don't look like siblings" He says glancing between the two of you.

"Not biological siblings, anyway, have you seen a group of people with a prisoner pass by?" She asks. 

"Not a lot of people come this way, you probably be better off going to Filly" He says with a small shrug looking at you rather intensely. 

"What's Filly?" Lucy asks. 

"Settlement up over that hill there" He points and you both turn to look seeing the forest beginning, a tower and some smoke.

"Oh, thank you," Lucy says and nods to you. 

"Dangerous up there, my uncle died, aunt too, some brothers I think" He says as he scratches his head like the thought was processing. 

"Oh, well sorry for your loss" Lucy says and gives you a small look and you slowly turn to walk away.

"Thank you, hey you could stay with me, need a few hands now" He says and your body tenses at the words as Lucy begins to walk away. 

"No thank you, we're ok," She says politely while silently and slowly running away. 

"I'm dying! You won't have to deal with me to long i promise I'd treat you real good!" His words make you shudder as you both walk a little faster.

"He seemed nice" Lucy says as you enter the forest and you raise an eyebrow at her. 

"He wanted us to stay with him?" You question as you hear approaching footsteps. 

"Hello" Lucy greets but the couple just walk by with no answer. 

"Must be this way" She shrugs and puts that smile back on her face. You follow the rustle of people and find yourself entering some sort of marketplace, people are yelling and asking you to buy their things before you finally find the entrance, a large pipeway by the looks of it. As you get to the other side the hair on the back of your neck stands up and a shiver goes through your spine. There are too many people here, too many scents, too much commotion for your brain to keep up with. You want to stop Lucy and take a breather, but she's already onward into the settlement. You realise you stand out like a sore thumb, well in this case a blue thumb and the glances and insults you get give you the impression Vault dwellers aren't welcome here. You can't shake the feeling of eyes on you, even those everyone's eyes are on you someone's is making your neck hair stand on end. You follow Lucy into a shop, giving a small glance around before you enter as she greets the lady. 

"Hello," She says happily as you look at the older woman with crazy grey hair and dark eyes. 

"Fuck me," The woman says before heaving out a laugh when she looks to you. 

"Barv, come here!" She laughs and you frown slightly wondering what's funny.

"What!" Another woman's voice yells out in annoyance.

"Hi, um we're looking for our father you see a woman took him, about five nine maybe, roughly in her 50s? her name is Maldaver?" Lucy's words shut the laughing up and her eyes glare at you both. 

"Don't worry Barv" She calls and you hear a string of curses from the other woman.

"Vault Dwellers?" She asks and Lucy nods. 

"I've got some advice, Fuck off" She snaps and you flinch a little as you hear pattering on the ground. You turn around to see the dog from before now in daylight and turn to see the man also. He gives you an odd look as Lucy tries to barter with the older woman.

"You Wilzig?" She says to the man who nods. 

"Get out both of you" She forces you both out so she can meet with the man when a voice calls out and stops the settlement chatter. 

"Wilzig" You shudder and tense again looking to the source of the voice. A man walks over, his attire is old western cowboy just like the movies, only much dustier. You hide a little behind Lucy, the hair on your body sticking up, your heart racing. 

"Are you a doctor? I am in need of some medical attention" his voice is heavy with a southern accent but what you see isn't man, at least you don't think it is his skin is scarred and leathery, a shade of red and his nose is missing. He gives a lopsided grin focusing on the man and the older woman. 

"You're kind ain't welcome here" She spits, a gun in her hands. 

"May be so, but, there's been a calling out to the agencies, a bounty for a feller who looks exactly like you" He points his gun at the man, yelling his words to the others around who have gone eerily quiet. Lucy sneaks back inside leaving you standing there like nothing suspicious was happening at all. Before the woman can speak a shot rings out and you scream as you see the man's foot completely gone and nothing but flesh dangling in its place, you almost vomit if it weren't for the gun now pointed at you or intense sunken eyes staring directly at you. 

"You with him?" he asks cocking his gun to the doctor. You shake your head with your hands held up wondering where the hell Lucy was. 

"Hm" Is all he says before he lets off another shot. You think it's at you but it was to the woman who decided to aim her gun at him. 

"I've got a thousand caps for anyone who kills this bastard" She yells and your eyes go wide as duck for cover. Shots ring out in all directions, people crying in pain and things exploding, you briefly see the man still standing in the middle, hell he even grabbed some food while he shoots down whoever shoots at him. You see him flinch a few times, a few bullets hitting their mark but he just ducks behind the cart stall waiting for them to stop shooting before he's out again and killing them. Soon you think everyone is dead, you glance at the older woman and the doctor still alive. You here the clink of metal hitting the ground a few times before he speaks. 

"For the tomatoes," He says before his footsteps approach.

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to stand down" You sigh in relief as Lucy comes back hand on her gun. 

"It seems that your behaviour towards this man is unfair, you also threatened my sister, I must intervene" Her voice is steady but you can see her hand shaking. The man tilts his head to the side studying her.

"Do you now?" He asks a taunt in his voice as he slowly stalks forward you let out a small noise as the dog lunges at him, the man stabs the dog and you stare in horror. Lucy grabs her gun and aims, you go to move closer to her slowly but his gun snaps to you and Lucy fires a shot. He stops walking glancing at the vial and pulls it out. 

"That is a very small dose in a pile of drugs," He says coming closer.

"Wait!" You yell standing a meter away from him hands in the air. You don't know why you moved let alone threw yourself in front of a gun and a man who very much knows how to use it. He stares at you tongue darting out to wet his lips and you watch the movement. You frown slightly and look back to his eyes going to say something when a voice calls out. 

"She said stand down Ghoul" You look to see a knight flying in and landing nearby, the gush of wind sending a scent into your nose. You make a strangled noise the man's eyes snapping to yours before he turns to face the knight. 

You rush back inside with the doctor as you hear more shots and fighting outside. You itch to go back out there and stop the fighting, something begging you to save whoever gave off that scent. You ignore it the best you can legs shaking as you watch the woman sit down at the doctor and yell at Barv to get a new leg. 

"You ok?" Lucy asks and you nod unable to form any real words as you stare in horror as the older woman starts the machine and begins munching his leg. You look away as the doctor cries in pain before they start speaking again. 

"I can make it," He says.

"You won't make it to fucking breakfast" The woman snaps at him. 

"They can take me!" He points to you and Lucy and the old woman looks at you. 

"Oh, no thank you, we're just trying to find our father," Lucy says nervously. You hear crashing outside and glance worriedly, finger tapping against your thigh in anxiousness.

"Damn it"

"Hey, right you want Maldaver here's your chance," She says and you frown at her. 

"You won't get anywhere near her unless you have a bargaining chip" She gestures to the doctor, Lucy looks to you nervously before she nods. You help the doctor up and walk out the back door and back into the wasteland. 

You're ignoring the nag in your gut, ignoring the way your feet seem to want to turn around and go back to that horrible place. You focus your mind too helping the doctor walk.

"You're a long way from home omega" He says and you gulp and nod. 

"I've been injected with something to make me not smell like anything, that's why you can't scent me" He adds and you frown but nod again, you did briefly wonder why he had no scent.

"Put me down here" He sighs and you help him sit against the broken piece of metal. 

"Lucy" You call and she stops and returns. 

"Hey, we can do this" She says and kneels by him glancing at his leg only to grimace. 

"No I won't make it," He says pulling out a small vile and handing it to you. 

"Plan D the only human thing Vault tech ever made" He sighs and you frown at the small vile. 

"It's easier than having you to do it" He says and you both frown at his words as he pulls out a saw from his bag and gives it to Lucy.

"You just need my head, if you can get my head to Maldaver" He stops to cough violently and you put a hand on his shoulder. He gives you a small smile before continuing his speech. 

"You both can change the future, Ms Maclean" He smiles at Lucy before turning to you and saying your last name. 

"Wait, how do you know-" Before she can finish the man's head slumps and his eyes shut. 

"Sir?" You question quietly but already know the answer. Lucy stares before standing, she walks away a bit before returning. 

"We can't cut his head off!" You say standing up and she sighs.

"What choice do we have!" She says shakily and you watch her walk back to the dead man and starts the saw, her soft 'Okey Dokey' leaving her lips.

Next part ->

[maesfics]

YOU WON'T LOOSE ME — d.w

pairing ; dina woodward x fem!reader

↬ warnings ; established relationship, angst, visions. lmk if I forgot anything.

↬ ㅤㅤword count ; 1.2k

↬ synopsis ; 𝑖𝑛 𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑐ℎ a nightmare about losing Dina awakens you, leading to a night of comfort and reassurance with Dina and their son, JJ.

↬ requested ; “can I please request for Dina? I thought about reader waking up because of a nightmare and hugging Dina while crying bc she’s afraid of losing her. Hope that makes sense„

a/n ; i hope i didn't go to left with this for you. thank you for requesting nd your support ! <3

if you want to request it's open! | inbox |

Silence envelops the night, deep, broken only by the occasional whisper of wind against the fragile windowpanes of your makeshift home. As shadows dance across the room, cast by the moon's dim light, sleep, which once cradled you gently, now betrays you. A nightmare, vivid and terrifying, seize your mind—a relentless vision of losing Dina, your anchor in this chaotic, infected world.

Heart pounding, you jolt awake, a silent scream caught in your throat as remnants of dread cling stubbornly to your consciousness. Beside you, under the small pool of moonlight filtering through the thin curtains, lies JJ, your son. His tiny chest rises and falls with a rhythmic peace that starkly contrasts the turmoil inside you. For a moment, you watch his serene face, finding a fleeting solace before the urge to confirm Dina's safety overwhelms you.

Assuming JJ is safe and needs to see Dina, you slip quietly from the bed and tread softly across the creaking wooden floor. Each step feels like an eternity as you make your way to the living area, where the echoes of your nightmare linger, a stark reminder of the fragility of this life you've built.

As you enter the living room, the sight that greets you steadies your racing heart. Dina, wrapped in an old quilt, sits in an armchair that's seen better days. The moon casts her in a halo of soft light as she gently rocks back and forth, taking JJ into her arms to nurse him back to sleep after he must have stirred. Her presence, a beacon in the lingering shadows, draws you in.

She looks up, her eyes meeting yours, and in them, you find the warmth and understanding that first drew you to her. Without needing to speak, she extends an arm, inviting you into their small circle of light. You kneel beside her, resting your head against her knee, and as her hand finds your hair, stroking softly, the last vestiges of your nightmare begin to dissipate.

"You okay?" she whispers, her voice a soothing balm.

You nod, not trusting your voice, content to be near her, to see her and JJ together—safe.

Once JJ's eyelids flutter closed, securing him back in dreamland, Dina gently places him in his crib and turns her attention back to you. "Tea?" she offers, and you follow her to the kitchen, grateful for the normalcy of the gesture.

As the kettle whistles softly, you find the courage to voice the fears that your nightmare stoked. "I keep seeing these... these visions of losing you, Dina. Every time I close my eyes, it feels like I might never see you again."

She takes your hands in hers, her touch warm and reassuring. "Hey, look at me," she urges gently. "I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. We're in this together, okay? All of us."

Her words, simple yet profound, ease the tightness in your chest. Inspired by a sudden urge to feel the early morning air, to watch the world awaken, you suggest, "Let's watch the sunrise. It's been a while since we did that."

Bundling JJ up, you step outside together, the pre-dawn chill brisk against your skin. You settle on the old bench by the side of your home, Dina sitting close, JJ nestled between you. The eastern sky slowly shifts its colors from night's deep blue to dawn's soft blush.

Here, with the day breaking before you, you talk about everything and nothing—whispered dreams for the future, the simple joys of the day-to-day. Each word weaves a more substantial thread in the fabric of your family.

As the sun ascends, casting its first golden rays through the trees, you feel a warmth that isn't just from the sunlight but from the love and certainty that you, Dina, and JJ share. This moment, this morning renews your hope and determination.

You head back inside, the light of the new day filling your home, casting long shadows across the floor that dance with the gentle rhythm of your movements. Watching Dina play with JJ, his laughter and music fill the room, and you feel a profound sense of peace.

Each day is a gift, a new beginning, a promise made under the whisper of the dawn sky—that no matter what, you will face it together.

As you sit together, sipping the warm tea that Dina has prepared, the silence between you stretches, comfortable yet filled with the weight of unspoken worries.

 Dina's gaze is thoughtful and reflective as she watches the steam curl from her cup. "Do you remember the day we found this place?" she asks, breaking the silence. Her question pulls you back to a timeless burdened by the immediacy of survival, a day filled with rare hope.

You nod, the memory surfacing amidst the fog of your anxieties. "I remember. You said it was perfect because the sunlight hit the porch just right." The recollection brings a faint smile to your face, one that Dina mirrors as she reaches across the table to squeeze your hand.

"Exactly. And because it felt like a place where we could make a real home," she adds, her voice dropping to a whisper. "A place for JJ to grow up, where we could be a family. I meant it then, and I still do. No nightmare, no fear will take that away from us."

Her words, filled with determination and love, help lift the heaviness from your heart. The two of you talk through the night, revisiting memories of how you've built your life together, the challenges you've overcome, and the dreams you still nurture. 

It's a reminder of the strength you draw from each other, fueling your resolve to face whatever comes.

As the first light of dawn begins to seep through the windows, painting the world in hues of gold and amber, you wrap a blanket around your shoulders and step outside. The air is fresh, the promise of a new day palpable. Dina joins you. 

JJ is now awake and curious in her arms. Together, you walk to the edge of the property, where the open sky stretches wide and unobstructed.

The sunrise is breathtaking, a spectacle of colors that bleed across the horizon, blending into one another. You watch, mesmerized, as the world awakens. 

Birds chirp in the distance, their songs a soundtrack to the sun's ascent. JJ babbles happily in Dina's arms, pointing at the sky with chubby fingers.

"This—this right here—is why we keep fighting, right?" Dina says, her voice was soft and emotional. "For moments like this, for him."

You nod, your heart swelling with love and renewed purpose. "For all of us," you affirm, feeling the weight of your nightmares lessen in the rising sun's light. "We have so much to live for and protect."

You spend the morning outside, embracing the day together as a family. Dina teaches JJ how to say "sun" and "sky," her laughter mingling with his excited squeals. You capture these moments in your mind, a mental album of all the reasons why you fight and why you survive.

As the day emerges, you return inside, energized by the morning's beauty and clarity.  Once a mere shelter, the house feels more like a home with each passing day, filled with the sounds and sights of your small family thriving against the odds.

In these moments, the nightmares that haunt your sleep seem distant, their hold on you weakened by the love and life that fill your days. You know they may return, as they often do in this harsh world, but you also know you have everything you need to face them—as long as you have Dina and JJ by your side.

[dreaming-medium]

Animals Without Direction

Chapter Twenty One - Mend

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Masterlist

Hours. The three of you have been at it for hours . You all worked on this all day, entirely through dinner, and now it must be around midnight. 

Slipping a fork into their pocket? Easy. 

Finding which pocket the key is in? You can do that. 

Taking it out without them noticing? Not easy at all. 

You haven’t felt this frustrated in many, many moons. The anger bubbling deep within your chest makes each failure that much worse. It makes each muscle tighten and your jaw clench so hard your teeth might shatter.

And to top it all off, the more you dance on your leg, the worse the pain aches through the muscle. 

There’s so much riding on your ability to do this properly, it’s weighing on your shoulders more with each moment. 

While reaching inside Minho’s jacket pocket, he snatches your wrist tightly. 

“No,” he hissed between clenched teeth. “Try again. That attempt was clumsier than the last.”

You clearly weren’t the only one getting frustrated with this. 

A cry of anger tears from your throat and you push away from the advisor, wrenching your wrist from his grasp. 

“Enough! Enough, already. This is hopeless! ”

Seungmin takes a step towards you and you hold up your hand at him, your brows pulling together. 

“No,” you state firmly. “I would like to see either one of you try and learn how to become a successful pickpocket while also trying to somehow pick up the art of seduction and simultaneously learning a new dance while nursing a near death injury.”

At the mention of your leg, both men freeze. 

“The both of you are waiting for me to attempt something. How is that ever going to help? If you are searching for my touch, of course you are going to know when I try to take the key!”

You spin on your leg to leave the room and a shooting pain goes through the appendage. 

Crying out in pain, your knees buckle a bit and you grab onto a nearby chair to steady yourself. 

Minho is next to you in a flash, his hands reaching out to steady you. 

You hold your hand up to keep him away from you, eyes squinting shut in pain. You don’t even realize you're holding your breath until the pain begins to subside a bit and you release the air stored in your lungs. 

Shifting your weight to your good leg, you hold onto the back of the chair tighter, knuckles turning white. 

“Y/N,” Minho tries to grab your attention. His voice is gentle and soft. It does nothing to quell your anger. 

“I am going to sleep,” you hiss between your teeth. “We will try again tomorrow.”

Minho’s hands twitch, he watches you carefully, tongue darting out to wet his lips. He seems to weigh something in his mind, his mouth opens to say something, but he quickly shuts it.

With a deep breath, you slowly release the back of the chair and ease your weight back onto your injured leg. Once you’re sure your knee won’t buckle, you make your way towards the door.

“Goodnight, boys.”

Neither of them stop you as you leave the ballroom, slamming the door shut after you.

The cool air of the hallway washes over your sweaty skin; the back of your shirt clinging to you.

You stand still for a few moments just outside the door to catch your breath. Normally, you don’t lose your cool that easily. The combination of everything was just too much to handle. 

Yes, you’ve only been at it for two days, but now you only have two more to become somewhat of a master at pickpocketing. You and Seungmin are set to leave Miroh at sunrise three days from now. 

Through the door, you can hear Seungmin and Minho’s voices talking back and forth. You’re not able to make out what they’re saying through the wood.

You don’t want to be here when they leave.

After another moment of catching your breath, you walk away from the ballroom and towards your room.

Life was much easier when all you had to worry about was battle. Dancing and pickpocketing was an entirely different side of the war that was completely out of your wheelhouse. 

But, at the same time, just a month ago, you said the same thing about war. The idea of being on the front lines used to freeze the blood in your veins.

Now you would give anything to be back at Fort Mire.

Jeongin’s smiling face flashes through your mind. How is he doing? They successfully captured Fort Burnside, they’re probably preparing for the next advance.

Is he commanding his battalion well? You can still remember his apprehension the night before you both left for the enemy fort.

“Changbin seems to believe I am fit to lead my own legion.” Jeongin shook his head and paced around the room in front of you.

You took a bite full of stew, eyes following his nervous movements closely.

“Because you are,” you said simply.

Jeongin’s head whipped around and looked at you incredulously. “What makes you believe that?”

“I see the way the men respect you,” you picked up your tankard and took a long swig of ale. “If anyone in this army is fit to lead their own legion, it is you, Jeongin.”

He sighed and sat in the chair next to yours, his head cradled in his hands.

“What if they do not follow my orders?”

“They will.”

“How do you know?”

You leaned forward and grabbed his hand tightly, his head picking up off his palm and looking straight at you. 

“I just know, Jeongin.”

Jeongin stared at you for a long moment, eyes flickered back and forth between yours, uncertainty shining through his dark irises. He shook his head and squeezed your hand tightly.

“We will just have to see then, won’t we?”

You laughed and released his hand to take another bite of your food. “If anyone disrespects you, you tell me and I will give them a stern talking to, aye?”

He laughed. His genuine smile never failed to make one pull at your own lips.

Leaning over, he stole a potato off your plate and plopped it in his mouth. 

“I will make sure that all bullies are reported straight to you.”

The days aren’t filled with as much laughter now that you don’t see him every day. Your heart squeezes in your chest.

A sad smile appears on your face.

“I sure hope the bullies are not giving you too much trouble, Jeongin,” you whisper to yourself in the empty halls of the keep.

----------------------------------------------

You’re only in your room for about twenty minutes before there’s a knock on your door. 

Raising an eyebrow, you shuffle across your room and open the door warily.

Felix looks down at you with a slightly concerned expression. In his hands he has a tray that looks like it has both food and medical supplies.

“Felix?” you ask, cocking your head to the side. 

“I heard that you had a small incident with your leg,” he says with a slightly shaky voice. “Can I please check on it?”

Seungmin or Minho must have gone to him about it. 

After a moment, you nod and step aside for Felix to come in, closing the door behind him. 

“It is most likely just sore from overuse,” you say to him. He places the tray of various items on the table and turns to you with a pinched expression.

“I believe I will be the judge of that.”

His stern stubbornness gives you pause. Never in the time that you’ve spent with Felix have you heard him take this tone of voice.

Both of you stare at each other for a few moments,your mouth opening and closing, but no words come out.

Wind whistles outside your window.

“Let me see your wound.”

Your mouth snaps shut and you nod, walking towards your bed. Felix watches you like a hawk.

You know he sees you limping. What you don’t know is that it feels like an arrow is shot through his chest at the sight, his bottom lip pulls between his teeth and his eyebrows furrow even more. 

His throat constricts, he tries so hard to keep himself together.

You look down at your pants for a moment, they’re not as loose as the ones you wore yesterday.

“Do I need to take–?” 

“Aye.”

Again, your mouth snaps shut. You hesitate for a split second before hooking your thumbs on your waistband and tugging your slacks off.

Felix watches closely, his mouth going dry when he sees the blood soaked bandage. His breath catches in his throat.

Your heart stutters for a moment at the sight.

“I did not–”

He cuts you off again. “Sit.”

“Felix, I swear I did not know–”

“ Sit , Y/N.”

Your heart skips a beat at his tone, you plop on the bed, ignoring the way your thigh throbs. You swivel and sit against the headboard, your leg extended out in front of you. 

Felix picks up the tray and brings it over to your bed, placing it down on the sheets.

His brow is furrowed, lips pressed in a thin line. His jaw clenches and unclenches over and over again; his throat bobs with a few swallows.

You can’t tell if he’s angry, disappointed, upset, sad, or a combination of all of them. It’s probably all of them.

He reaches forward and undoes the soiled bandage, gingerly unwinding it.

When he sees the wound, he sucks in air through his teeth.

“Did it…?” you ask nervously. 

“Aye.” His answer is monotone and devoid of emotion.

It reopened. 

He fiddles around on the tray, getting a new needle and thread ready to suture your wound closed. Again.

Before he does that, he wipes the blood off, cleaning the area with alcohol. It burns but you swallow the reaction.

You stare up at his face, watching every single muscle twitch as he tries to conceal his cocktail of negative emotions.

Felix’s eyes aren’t shining the way they usually do. They’re glaring down at your ugly wound as if it’s insulting him. Like your injury is the root cause to everything that has ever gone wrong in his life.

His expression screws up painfully and then drops again. His lips pull into a sneer to bare his teeth for a split second. 

The silence that settles in your room is thick and uncomfortable. So many unsaid words are communicated through his stiff actions.

It’s not until he picks up the needle again do you realize his hands are shaking.

His throat bobs again.

A deep, shaky breath enters his lungs and he makes the first puncture into your leg.

You wince and a small pained noise comes from your throat. 

Felix does not react, he continues to sew the wound closed. Each stitch hurts a little more than the last. The pain slowly goes from a tiny prick to painful, mini stabs.

His nose scrunches and he gulps again.

“Felix,” you whisper after he makes a stab-like stitch. “It hurts.”

“Good.” His voice is deep and it sends a shiver down your spine. “Maybe you will finally remember this pain and recognize you cannot keep doing this to yourself.”

His voice wavers and breaks.

A tear slides down his face. 

It feels like a crack goes through your heart. 

With no small amount of effort, you try to defend yourself. “I did not realize it was reopening.”

Felix sniffles and shakes his head, he’s trying so hard to keep himself together, but you can see his emotions start puncturing through the surface. His eyes begin to glisten, cheeks and ears turning red.

“Why do you insist on pushing yourself, Y/N?” It comes out low and under his breath. 

You watch his face and say nothing.

“You hurt yourself over and over. And each time you tell me you did not realize it, or how the gravity of the injury snuck up on you, or that it is nothing. But it is not nothing. ”

His voice gets louder and louder with each word. The tears begin flowing freely down his cheeks. Felix keeps his head down as he stitches the wound shut.

“You are not on your own anymore. There are people in this Keep that care about you and your well being. When you continue to hurt yourself over and over, you are hurting us too. And the blatant disregard for your health feels like a wound to my own soul!”

The last stitch hurts the most.

Maybe it’s because his words are rattling around your brain and adding to the hurt in more ways than just physical. 

“I cannot continue to put your pieces back together like this when you do not even seem to care about losing them in the first place. It is weighing on me like a demon. Each time someone knocks on the healing ward door I fear that it is a guard telling me that you are dying again.”

Felix tosses the needle back onto the tray and places his hands down on the bed sheets. He can’t meet your eyes with his own teary ones.

All of his limbs are shaking. 

“Imagine how it feels when you work yourself to the bone to assure that someone you love is alive and healthy, just to have Minho knock on your door to tell you that they had to limp back to their room. And do they come to you for help? No. They do not come to anyone for help and I do not understand it, Y/N.”

Love?

Finally, he looks over at you and you feel your heart shatter.

“Why will you not let us help you?”

Your lips quiver, your own tears forming in your eyes. 

Drawing your legs up in on yourself, your soul aches.

“Minho said you did not eat and that you almost collapsed. My room is directly next to yours, Y/N, why? Why? ”

A hiccup shakes your chest. “I am sorry, Felix.”

His face twists even more. He sits on the edge of your bed and grabs your face with both of his hands tightly. 

“Do not apologize to me; apologizing does nothing. Tell me you will stop this madness. Stop hurting yourself over and over and shoving us away when all we want to do is nurse you back to health.”

You sob and your eyes shut to try and stop the tears. Felix shakes your head a bit.

When you open them once more, he’s right in front of you, his own bloodshot eyes desperately searching yours. 

“Every time I find you in pieces, a small part of my heart is taken to sew you back up.”

“Felix, please, I am so sorry.” You sob in his hands. Both of your hands come up and cover his. “I am not–” your own sobs cut you off and you close your eyes once more.

How do you possibly explain that you’ve never had people to rely on? Not since your parents died? 

“Please, Y/N,” he whispers, thumbs brushing your tears away gently. “I just need to hear you say that you will begin to rely on us. If the roles were reversed, would you not want one of us to tell you when we are hurting?”

All you can manage is a nod.

“You are not alone anymore.”

Opening your eyes, you see his blue ones watching you closely. Nothing but love and care is seen in them.

“We are all here to support you, every single one of us. Chan, Hyunijn, Changbin– all of us, Y/N. We want you to thrive.”

You suck in a shaky breath.

“I promise,” you whisper.

“You promise what?” His face comes closer to yours.

“I promise I will come to you when I need help.”

“Not just me,” he adds, his face even closer.

“I will come to the court when I need help.”

“Good.”

He brings your face to his, locking your lips together in a searing, emotion filled kiss. Your hands move from his to cup his cheeks, mirroring the way he’s holding you. 

Both of your lips slide over one another, the tears no longer flowing, but your hearts are still connected. 

Immediately, Felix deepens the kiss, his tongue sliding over your bottom lip and dancing with yours when your lips part. One of his hands slides down from your cheek to hold the side of your neck, bringing your face impossibly closer.

He smells so good, the earthiness wraps around you and invades your senses. Everywhere he’s touching ignites.

Your skin heats up and flushes, your heartbeat speeds up and thuds against your ribcage. 

“By The Six,” Felix murmurs against your lips. The gravellyness of it gives you the chills. “Why does it feel like your kisses can heal anything?”

A small smile crosses your face and you bring him back in for another heated kiss.

“Any wound that causes my heart to bleed is sealed with your lips on mine,” he hushes.

Careful to avoid the tray of supplies, Felix crawls onto the bed and hovers over you. The heat from his body radiates down and cages you in.

Slowly, Felix’s kisses turn desperate, small grunts and heavy exhales come from his as his lips slide over yours. Each passing moment gets steamier and steamier in your room.

He leans his weight on his elbows next to your head, every inch of your bodies touching. Long legs slot between yours. 

Your fingers travel up his face into his hair, threading into the soft strands and pulling slightly. Felix grunts and his kisses stutter for a moment before continuing with more fervor. 

Emotions still running high, Felix trails one hand down your face, down the side of your neck, over the side of your chest, down your ribcage to grab your waist with a tight grip.

Tongues dancing with one another, both of you pant and moan through the kisses. 

“Y/N,” he pants against your lips.

“Felix,” you answer him just as breathlessly. 

The Elf pulls away from your lips just a hair, his wet, spit-covered plush lips hovering just above yours. His eyes are barely open, and they’re still staring directly at your mouth.

“If we do not stop, I will not be able to control myself,” he whispers down to you. His tone is so low.

His blue eyes flick up to yours and your breath catches in your throat. Something about the way he stared down at you, his blonde bangs hanging over his face, his mouth parted and panting, the flush covering his cheeks.

The way the flames on your bedside candle flicker across his beautiful, flawless skin.

Your hand travels from his hair to slowly inch down the side of his face. He was none the wiser to your less than pure intentions.

He absentmindedly leans into your touch, eyes lingering on yours. 

Slowly, the pads of your fingers draw a line down his nose, over his wet lips, down his chin, and then up his jawline.

You lean up from the bed, pressing your lips against his in a featherlight kiss.

A murmur against his mouth. “I do not want you to stop.” You pull his bottom lip into your mouth by your teeth. 

At the same time, you run your finger up the entire length of his pointed ear, curling around the top and gently pinching it with your thumb and forefinger.

The noise that tears out of Felix’s throat is a combination of a growl, whine, and moan all combined into one. 

With frightening speed and strength, he tears both of your hands away from him and pins them down to the bed above your head with just one of his. 

Felix sinks his teeth into your neck and you toss your head back with a cry of pleasure. 

His own hips roll against yours, both of you moan from the delicious pressure. The second rut against your clothes core is more desperate and animalistic. 

Lips detaching from yours, he licks down your neck, biting at your soft skin and making you keen. 

With his free hand wandering on its own, Felix slides his fingers under your shirt and caresses your bare skin. His touch leaves sparks of pleasure in their wake as they climb your body. 

The bindings that wrap around your chest suddenly feel like the most annoying piece of fabric to ever touch your skin. 

A sharp bite to your neck causes you to chirp a small squeal. Your good leg wraps around his hips and pulls him towards you  

The hard bulge in his pants presses against you. He sighs from the slight bit of relief the pressure brings. 

Felix grabs at your shirt. “Can I take this off?”

“Yes, please,” you pant. 

He tears away from you and practically rips the shirt over your head, tossing it behind him. 

Sitting back on his haunches, the cleric stares down at you hungrily. 

The blue irises you’ve grown accustomed to are almost black. Felix’s eyes rake up your skin, licking his lips. 

You sit up quickly, your fingers finding the end of your chest bindings. 

In the meantime, you attach your mouth to the base of his lean neck, sucking and biting your own marks onto his skin. 

Felix lets out breathy sighs, his eyes closing in pleasure, his mind getting lost in the feeling. His head tilts back towards the ceiling. 

“By The Six,” he whispers. 

He tastes so good, how is his skin this intoxicating? 

It takes several moments before your chest bindings are completely unwound from your body. The cloth is tossed to the flood. 

The cleric pulls back from your mouth to look down at you. He sucks in air between his teeth, both of his hands come up to cup your breasts. 

Warm palms massage over your skin, a chill rips up your spine. 

“Mmm…” you hum and lean back on your hands to give him more access. 

Felix immediately swoops down and envelopes one nipple in his warm, wet mouth. 

“Fuck,” you hiss and thread your fingers through his blonde locks. “Feels good, Felix.”

He keens at your compliment, his hand pushing on your chest to encourage you to lay down. You don’t argue, letting your body lay down while he continues to lap at your sensitive skin. 

So much attention is paid to your chest, you can feel arousal coating the inside of your cotton smalls. 

Wet, sloppy noises fill the air when he pulls back while sucking until his mouth detaches. It’s absolutely filthy and makes your brain dizzy. 

He switches to the other breast to give it the same sinful treatment. 

Your hips jolt and jerk around unable to stay still. 

The pleasure that you’re getting from his nipple play is insanely intoxicating. It leaves you breathless and wanting more. You need to feel his hands everywhere. 

You need more.  

Your fingers pull on his hair desperately when his free hand pulls on the other nipple, twisting and flicking. Electricity shoots down to your core. 

Eventually, his kisses trail down further and further. Felix’s tongue trails down your navel, swirling around your belly-button. 

“I need to taste you,” he growls into your skin. “I am ashamed to admit how often I thought about this.”

Cracking your eyes open was an effort, but you needed to see his face. 

He’s gazing up at you, his face hovering over your smalls. 

You gulp at his dark gaze. 

Where was your sunshine? All you can see is a wanton minx lingering near your more sensitive areas. 

While maintaining eye contact, Felix leans down and presses a searing kiss to your clothed core. 

Your lips pull into your mouth and you hold back a tiny whine. 

“How I have dreamed about having you under me, Y/N.”

It feels like you’re going to lose your mind. The timbre of his voice hovering above your most sensitive area will surely be the death of you. 

“Felix, please,” you beg. 

He smirks and looks down, fingers pulling your smalls to the side gently. 

“Look how absolutely drenched you are for me, Y/N.”

Finally, his fingers run through your folds, collecting your arousal up on the pads. 

“All for me,” he marvels. 

“Felix,” you whine. 

“I have to taste you,” his voice is gravelly. With no other warning, he leans down and licks all the way up your slit. 

The both of you moan, both drowning in pleasure. 

The next lick to your core is more frantic, his tongue explores your folds as if you might be taken away from him any moment. 

One of his hands ventures up your body to grab at your breast, pinching your nipple. 

His tongue laps around your entrance, feeling you clench around nothing from his teasing. 

A drunk smile appears on his face, his eyes glaze over and he licks at your clit over and over. 

Your fingers grab at the bedsheets, clawing at them in the throes of ecstasy. Back arching off the bed, you moan through clenched teeth. 

Felix’s hand on your breasts grasps a handful and kneads, it then moves to brush his thumb over your nipple over and over. 

And fuck , it feels so fucking good. 

His hips rut into the bed in time with his licks. He seems to be getting just as much, if not more , pleasure out of this than you are. 

Gently, he sucks on your clit and looks up at your face twisted in pleasure. A strong flush covers your face across your nose. 

He can’t stop admiring how you look. How absolutely gorgeous you are right now at his mercy. 

Felix’s eyebrows pull together in his own twist of pleasure. Harder and harder he ruts into your mattress, each thrust brings pleasure and relief. 

Every single one of your moans shoots right to his dick. 

“Felix,” you pant and look down at him. 

He hums into your folds, never once stopping the assault. 

“Fuck, I-I … hah— close... close…”

This only eggs him on more. His tongue continues its sinful figure 8’s on your clit with more fervor. 

Sweat beads at his hairline. 

His thumb still brushes over your nipple again and again. Circling and rubbing, forefinger coming around to pinch and pull.

It adds another layer of the pleasure coursing through your veins. 

Every nerve is alive under his touch. 

You twist and writhe under his mouth, murmurs falling out of your lips. 

“Felix!” you cry out and he moans into you again. 

His name sounds so fucking good coming from your lips. Felix just wants to hear you say it over and over until your vocal chords collapse. 

The knot in your abdomen is tightening more and more. 

One of your hands flies to his hair and holds tightly. You pull him impossibly closer to your cunt. 

Another deep moan vibrates against your folds. 

“Shit, ha — Felix, gunna—“

The cord within you snaps and you cry out, your entire body tenses and your release washes over you.

He laps at your folds eagerly, slurping any arousal that floods from you. His tongue lazily stimulates your clit as you come down from the intense high that he led you through.

Your grip on his hair loosens after a moment, he licks your folds one last time before pressing a kiss by your clit. 

Slowly, Felix moves up your body, his mouth leaving long, wet kisses along your skin until he reaches your mouth. 

When your lips meet, you moan softly into his mouth. The heavy haze of lust parting slowly as your lips slide over one another. 

With your free hand traveling down his body, Felix grabs your hand before it goes any further south.

You immediately speak up. “But I–”

“Nay,” he cuts you off. “Tonight was about you. Another time, perhaps.”

He smiles down at you with such sincerity it makes your heart sing. Exhaustion is beginning to pull at your eyelids, so all you do is nod.

Felix beams at you and kisses you again. This kiss is so tender. Each time your lips meet it’s slow and sensual. It’s a stark contrast to the searing kisses you desperately stole from him not even five minutes ago.

“Stay here tonight,” you whisper on his lips. “Please.”

His smile only gets bigger.

“As if I could ever say no to you.”

[lilymaybank]

love part 2

(not my gif, credits to @devilsmenu )

Part 1 here

tags: @maybankslover @immyowndefender

warnings: mdni, angst (part 3 coming real soon!)

summary: jj loves kiara, but shit is about to get real

You couldn’t sleep that night. You cried for hours in your bed, wishing you were dreaming. When the sun rose you got dressed and brushed your hair. after, you sat on the beach outside the château watching the sunrise wishing he didn’t love kiara, your best friend until you heard footsteps and looked behind you. “hey. what’s wrong? you look spooked” kiara said softly. you looked at her and wiped your tears away, your eyes all puffy and red. “nothing.” you said “come on y/n. you can tell me anything you know.” she said looking into your eyes. “what’s up with you and jj?” you asked. she swallowed and breathed in. you never told her you liked jj but she had a feeling you did. “well… we kissed. I’m sorry, it just kind of happened I didn’t expect it.” you pushed your hair out of your face and behind your ears. “oh. ok.” you got up and started walking away “y/n wait!” she yelled. “what kie? what do you want from me now?” you scoffed “im sorry. he kissed me first and I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t wanna hurt him, so I kissed him back and I didn’t know what to do.” she confessed you put your hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eye. “kie. you need to go make this right. you can’t play with his feelings.” you said, she nodded and started walking away looking for jj. awhile later you laid in the hammock outside the château, waiting for any news about kie and jj. you were reading a book until you saw jj stomp into the house, with kie following him yelling his name. you stayed outside while you heard him screaming at kie, then you went inside to see what was going on. kie was crying and jj was taking his anger out on her. “you’re such a lying bitch! I should’ve known you would do this. just like how you did to john b and pope. Fucking whore” he yelled at her trying to get into her skin. you stood in front of kie putting your hand on his chest to at least attempt to push him back, he looked at you and stormed out of the château getting on his bike and driving away. You hugged kie while she cried and hugged you back, It was a nightmare.

[jazzmynerule]

Possibility

this imagine is based off of the scene in twilight where edward left bella and she sits in her room looking outside.. you get what i mean??

prompt: vinnie and y/n broke up on bad terms and it’s taken a toll on y/n leaving her to stay in her room for weeks

warnings: intentional starvation, numbness to emotions, unhealthy breakup, isolation

(- this means time skip)

…………………………………………..

walking into my room just moments after vinnie and i broke up had me sobbing on the floor

the same floor we danced around till sunrise

the same floor he kissed me till i couldn’t breathe

i hated how much i love him and i also hated how much i hate him

our relationship was envied by everybody

they said me and vinnie where made specifically for one another and honestly i believed them

he was the love of my life until

3 hours before

vinnie and i were arguing in the kitchen over how distant he’s been

“vinnie why are you being like this? i love you!” i screamed at him as he was walking away from me

“why am i being like this? why!? because you never believe me when i say they are just friends! am i not allowed to have female friends y/n?” he screamed back practically in my face

i stood there with my heart in my hands watching as it slowly cracked each time he yelled at me

“not when you’re friendship with them is based on fucking flirting! vinnie watching you flirt with them while you ignore the fuck out of me breaks me!” i sobbed

“you know what fuck you we are done i’m fucking over your bullshit y/n, you wanna see me flirt with somebody? i’ll fucking flirt with somebody” he said walking up the stairs leaving me by myself for a split second

“hey nat, i was wondering if you wanted to catch up sometime this week?” i heard vinnie talk on the phone and that’s when my entire world crashed around me

“yeah no i’m not with her anymore she’s a fucking controlling insecure bitch” he chuckled

“fuck you vincent hacker! never in my life would i ever say something like that about you!” i yelled as i slammed the door and walked out of his life

-

“y/n honey, how are you doing?” my mum walked in and saw me hyperventilating on the floor

“mum i loved him” i cried so hard my chest was screaming in pain

“oh my love i’m so sorry baby” her heart broke into pieces seeing me cry over a boy like this and i know how much she wanted to protect me from this pain

“come on let’s get you to bed” she kissed my forehead lifting me up and carrying me to bed

“you’re my everything and more y/n remember that” she smiled pressing another kiss to my forehead

-

waking up the day after a break up was worse than the hour after

i sat up feeling like my chest was a pile of bricks

walking over to my dresser was a work out and even changing my clothes felt like it was a task

for hours on end i sat down on my desk chair staring out my window in complete silence, no tears and no emotion

mum and dad tried to pry me off the chair and eat something but the thought of food made my stomach churn

i just needed to be alone and having my parents worry so badly about me wasn’t helping

-

it’s been 2 weeks since the break up

vinnie has tried to call me multiple times a day talking about ‘i’m so sorry’ like that was going to change anything

i can’t look in the mirror anymore it’s like i can’t see the person i was before or during him i can only see the person after him and i hate myself for it

i haven’t spoken to anybody not even my friends i’ve isolated myself from the possibility of ever being myself again

i still haven’t eaten anything all i’ve had the past 2 weeks has been water and a watermelon smoothie mum makes me every morning because ‘it’s giving me the nutrients food should be giving me’

-

i can’t even find the motivation to go to my bed anymore it’s like i’ve permanently found my place on this desk chair

i was just about to fall asleep on the chair when a knock came from the door

“y/n love there’s somebody here for you” mum said as she opened the door

“y/n?” that exact voice was the reason i felt like this, the exact reason i’m not myself anymore

i fucking hate who that voice belongs to

“y/n baby i am so fucking sorry” vinnie stood in front of me practically wearing the same expression as me when i was standing in his kitchen, with his heart in his hands

“you did this to me” my voice was croaky as all i’ve been doing was crying

“i know and words can’t begin to express how fucking sorry i am for doing this to you”

“you need to leave, now” i finally looked at him, he looked like he hasn’t been eating and all he’s been doing was crying

like me

“i’m broken without you, you’re my everything and i hate myself for taking advantage of that, you are my soulmate y/n i need you” he fell to his knees in front of me gabbing onto my frail hands

“i wasn’t your everything when you called me insecure and controlling” tears welded up in my dull eyes just thinking about the conversation he had with that chick on the phone

“i’m a fucking dick baby i know but i’ll be better for you i promise, i can’t live without you” he broke down placing his head on my lap crying like his life depended on it

“i can’t forgive you for what you said and how you treated me vin but i’ll try” i slightly smiled feeling like my chest was finally being lifted out from under those bricks

“i love you so much y/n too much” he cried kissing my hands and placing my forehead on his

“tell me i won’t regret this” i sighed

“you won’t i promise you” he kissed my nose

-

that was 10 years ago

that awful break up was what we needed to finally be the couple we are today

2 kids and a house by the beach

having being married for 6 years and are as healthy as ever

yes our relationship isn’t all flowers and rainbows

but we will never give up on us as easy as we did back then

…

thank you so much for reading!!!

[thomashoes]

Thinking about.... Thoma

i have had this idea for like two three months already and was not confident it would look great written down. but with motivations from my dear bestie, i thought why the hell not and decided to do it.

P.S

this actually took me three days to make--

thoma x reader

female reader

fluff, mentions of long distance relationship, sexual content and alcohol, very very mild cursing (like once)

Little backstory:

y/n is diluc's sister and she's in charge of dawn winery's innovative and international marketing. and basically she went to inazuma to conduct a research for the winery's novelty. thoma was her childhood friend before he left for inazuma. they reunited during her stay in inazuma and due to the vision hunt decree, a target has been placed on her back leading her to hide in the Kamisato Estate. after the decree was lifted she stayed for a while before heading back to mondstadt to help with the preparation of the weinlesfest festival uwu.

"Are you sure you got everything with you? Why don't we check your stuff again," Thoma fussed as he walked over to Y/N's bags to assess its contents in the guest room she has resided in for the past few months. Y/N rolled her eyes and followed him, "You don't need to worry about it, Mom. I quadruple checked them last night, so I'm pretty sure I have everything."

Thoma glanced at her before he dropped his shoulder in defeat, "I-I'm sorry. Maybe I'm anxious about you already leaving just when I finally got to see you again and... Ah, please ignore what I was trying to say." he fretfully confessed. Y/N exhaled and felt her heart drum against her chest, it did pain her to leave but she still had duties as Dawn Winery's marketing manager. She reached out to grab the back of Thoma's shirt, "Hey... I know this is hard for you, it is to me also. But I promise to you that I will come and visit once a month and stay for at least a week. We can make this work, please trust me. Trust us, Thoma."

The blond turned to face her and saw that she looked ready to cry so he extended his arms and embraced her. "I do trust us, Y/N. I'm just...going to miss you a lot," he whispered against the crown of her head. Y/N looked up at his green orbs before her eyes darted down to his lips and Thoma saw this and took it as a hint to lean in for a kiss. The kiss lasted for as long as they could breathe and when they parted, Y/N whimpered as tears fell down her face.

"I don't want to go," she cried as she held onto him tighter. "But I'm an adult who is in charge of a company for booze so I have to go help my brother." Y/N pitifully whined against his chest.

Thoma laughed at her as his own tears started to roll down, "That's right, you are, as you always put it, a strong independent woman. And now you have another responsibility to return to."

With those words uttered by Thoma, Y/N cried a little bit harder and said the something along the lines of 'I hate being an adult'.

<<~~~~~~~~~~>>

On the morning of her trip back to Mondstadt, Thoma held her hand the entire time waiting for her ship to be ready to go. He rubbed his thumb against the back of her hand as he watched the sun rise.

"You know, with the amount of times we watched both sunrise and sunsets together, this is probably the worst one yet," Y/N grumbled to him. Thoma simply hummed as an answer as he watched Captain Beidou approach them.

"Good morning, love birds! The ship is ready to go in a bit so you two better say your goodbyes now," Beidou greeted the two of the then her red eyes caught the marks on Y/N's neck and gave Thoma a mischievous look. "But it looks like you already did one hell of a farewell last night."

Y/N's face turned as red as her face as she sputtered excuses as to what the marks were while Thoma awkwardly laughed. Beidou let out a loud laugh and waved a hand so Y/N would stop, "I'm just messing with you. What you should be worried about is your brothers' reaction when they see those."

The lovers froze as they realized that the captain was right. Y/N looked at Thoma while holding back laughter, "Well, it was fun while it lasted, Thoma." she teased him bringing Thoma out his thoughts. He sighed and pinched her side which caused her yelp, "Please don't joke about that, Y/N."

A pout formed on her face as she looked back at Beidou, "He can be such a huge meanie sometimes but that's exactly my type." Y/N bantered to Beidou in which the captain shook her head in amusement and Thoma cleared his throat. Just as Y/N was about to add more, a crewmate ඞ approached Beidou and announced every thing was ready for the trip back to Liyue.

"Could you please give us a minute, Captain Beidou?" Thoma requested solemnly as his grip on Y/N's hand tightened. Beidou nodded in understanding before she left them for their final adieu.

As soon as Beidou was gone, Y/N swiftly moved to hug Thoma tightly while attempting to sway the both of them sideways. Her lover laughed at her actions before he hugged back and kissed her head, "Write to me as soon as you get there safely, okay, darling?" he whispered to her. Y/N, once again, had tears slowly gather in her eyes then bobbed her head as she could not find the strength to speak without her voice cracking.

Y/N felt Thoma's hands move from her waist to her face, his gloved hands cradled her as he gazed into her eyes lovingly, "Can I please get a verbal response from my sweetheart?" he goaded as a smirk formed on his lips. Y/N rolled her, now dry, eyes while she blushed a pale shade of red, "Way to ruin the mood but yes, I promise to send a letter to my dear lover even if I have to use my brother's eagle if I have to."

Smug from her answer, he placed a chaste kiss on her lips, "Good girl."

This man was testing her patience. With a growl, she gripped his face and gave a hard kiss on his lips before she turned around and left without glancing back at him. She heard Thoma's joyful laugh that filled her heart with happiness as she boarded up to The Crux.

She watched as Thoma's figure began to get smaller as the ship moved away from Ritou. With a final wave of her arm, Y/N moved to sit on the ship's deck, heart weighing like a thousands of bricks.

Unaware of the footsteps that advanced towards her, she curled up into a ball and mumbled out her objectives once she steps foot on to Liyue Harbor. "You might want to get rid of those marks to save your brothers from getting a heart attack," a gentle voice interrupted her. Y/N moved her focus to the person who was standing in front of her and squinted her eyes from the brightness of the sun.

"Oh, hey, Kazuha. Still traveling with Beidou?" she asked the young man. Kazuha smiled at her before proceeded to offer his hand to help her stand up. Y/N thanked him and accepted it and was immediately lifted onto her feet. "Well, the life of traveling has become my life after years and staying in one place didn't feel right for me," Kazuha explained to her as he watched her pat the dust off her pants. "And must I repeat what I said about those markings on your neck?"

A snort left her mouth as she placed her hands on her hips, "I heard you the first time, no need. Also, Kaeya would applaud me like the supportive brother he is. Diluc, on the other hand, would be the one having a heart attack." Y/N clarified. "Also, yes I do need to get rid of these. I just don't know how." she added sheepishly. Kazuha chuckled and nodded his head, "Yes, of course. Do forgive me for assuming wrong." Kazuha gestured to the ship's accommodation, "If you could follow me, I can help with getting rid of those for you."

"Oh my Archons, please. I can handle my brothers well but definitely not Adelinde's persistence." Y/N groaned and moved to follow Kazuha.

"Oh um, why do you know how to get rid of hick--"

"Don't worry about it." :)

<<~~~~~~~~~~>>

A week has passed since Y/N left Inazuma to help with the preparations for Mondstadt's Weinlesefest Festival and she had finally successfully created a new drink exclusive for the event namely the Fruits of the Festival.

Y/N then found herself seated on Dawn Winery's dinner table alongside her two brothers, Diluc and Kaeya, The Traveler and Paimon. It was an extremely rare moment (read: never) to have both her brothers sit on the dinner table and enjoy a meal without them attempting to go at each other. The Traveler and Paimon shared their adventures in Liyue and Inazuma then explained to the two men how they knew their sister.

"Oh, that's right! Before we left Inazuma, Y/N mentioned something about wanting to reconnect an old bridge with an old friend. How did it go with Thoma, Y/N?" Paimon innocently queried.

The sister's attempt in getting a small spoonful of her Moon Pie failed miserably as her fingers slipped and her utensil flew off her hand and onto the floor. Her brothers directed their attention back to her, one with an accusatory look and the other with interest.

"Thoma as in the boy who gave you a flower crown when you were 5? He's alive?" Diluc grumbled as he leaned in onto the table, his red eyes staring into his sister's soul. A chuckle sounded from her left, "Well, Diluc, do you know any other boys our dear sister has ever been with?" Kaeya poked fun at their eldest, placing his head on the palm of his hand. "There are more boys?" Diluc deadpanned.

Y/N buried her face into her hands in embarrassment and silently cursed at Paimon and her blabbing, "Yes, Diluc, the same boy who gave me the cecilia flower crown and Kaeya please don't make this worse."

Adelinde neared her side of the table and quietly placed a new spoon for her to use as she tenderly rubbed her back as if to noiselessly encourage her. She whispered her thanks and leaned back on her chair and looked at Diluc, "I will try my best to give a brief 'summary' of what exactly happened to me in Inazuma and spare you the...intimate parts."

"Oh? You have been intimate with him then."

"I would appreciate it if you do not open your mouth for the rest of the night, Kaeya, if you don't want to take Thoma's place from being throttled."

After a not-so-long explanation of Y/N's Inazuma exploitation which was mostly interrupted by Diluc's unnecessary comments and Kaeya's teasing remarks which made Y/N blush hard.

Diluc eyed his sister with squinted eyes as he tried to process the information she gave him. After a minute, he eventually gave in and slowly stood up from the table, "So long as he protected you and is trusted by the traveler, I will trust him as well. However, before I give my final verdict, I would like to meet him."

And with that said, he trudged away the table and up to his office. The table was silent after Diluc left but quickly recovered as Y/N let out a loud groan. "Oh my Archons, that was more difficult than confessing my feelings." she whined as she grabbed the bottle of wine and poured more into her glass. "At least you managed to tell him without those lovey-dovey details you gave me," Kaeya mused as he took a sip of his wine.

Paimon nods her head in agreement, "You got that right! It was almost sickening to witness the so-called confession when all they did was kis-"

"PAIMON, ZIP IT BEFORE I TURN YOU INTO A STICKY HONEY ROAST!"

Kaeya laughed at his sister going at it with the traveler's flying companion. His shoulders weighed less now that he sees his sister safe and happy, "I will be rooting for you and Thoma, dear sister. Wouldn't want to see you at Cape Oath once again slaughtering the poor slimes."

Y/N seized her body and her fingers hastily found each other and began to fidget, "...Well, if Thoma isn't the man who can make me feel this way, I wouldn't miss him so much that it almost hurts. Almost-- DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT, PAIMON!"

"If that's the case, should we expect a little niece or nephew any time soon?"

"Kaeya for the last time--"

<<~~~~~~~~~~>>

The Windcoming Day has finally arrived and the people of Mondstadt gathered around Springvale for the toasting ceremony, their spirits filled with radiance and elation. However, Y/N was not feeling the same spirits as them as she walked towards the Statue of the Seven at Windrise. Y/N bowed her head and held her hands together, her silent prayer to the Anemo Archon flowed along the wind.

"I knew I felt a familiar presence nearby!" a friendly voice chirped from behind her. She sighed and turned around and saw the green-clad bard gently smiling at her, "Why did I think you wouldn't hear me?" she rhetorically asked under her breath.

Venti placed a hand to his chest in feign hurt, "What kind of God would I be if I would not be able to hear my children's prayers? Of course I'd hear you! I normally just don't show up in person." he playfully answered her. "So what ails my dear child's heart and who is this lad that managed to pull on your strings with such vigor."

Y/N exhaled and hugged herself before she responded, "It's not that important, really. I just...miss him much more than I thought. I have never really felt like this before with my past, uh, partners." she woefully mumbled before she shook her head. "Ugh, why am I even telling you this when you should be worrying about your so-called appearance later as Barbatos."

The Anemo Archon walked up to her and stood next to her, his green eyes wandered up the statue, "You know, I'm actually surprised you came here and prayed to me. I haven't heard you pray in years, made me believe you lost your faith in me."

"If I were to be honest with you, I did lose my faith after two very important people in my life within a week." she confessed quietly to the Archon next to her. "However, after witnessing how you worked when Dvalin was brainwashed by The Abyss Order, my faith seemed to return little by little."

She felt Venti stand a bit straighter as his ego rise, she rolled her eyes and placed a hand on her hip. "My faith in Barbatos returned, but my faith in Venti? Yeah, I'm not so sure about that." she teased him.

"Your words wound me sometimes, Lady Y/N! Never mind that, I would like to hear more of your troubles before we set off to Springvale for the toasting ceremony." Venti offered, a smile on his face emerged as he saw Y/N facial features softened at the thought of her beloved.

<<~~~~~~~~~~>>

"Do my eyes deceive me or is that Miss Lisa I see?" Y/N expressed playfully. Lisa giggled at her, "Oh my, hello there Miss Y/N. Fancy seeing you at a festival for once. Is it safe to assume that you don't have any work to do?" Lisa poked fun at her, her signature smirk formed on her lips. Y/N waved a hand at her, "Please, I still have to go and check Angel's Share's stall in a bit to make sure every thing is going smoothly. Are you here for Razor? I spoke with the traveler about them helping the poor boy recreate the wine his late parents made."

Lisa sighed as her eyes softened a bit, "Yes, I actually came here since I was still concerned but I spoke with my little wolf cub and reassured me that the wine-making went smoothly." she disclosed to Y/N. She nodded her head, feeling relieved to hear that it went well.

The two continued to chat until the Acting Grand Master stood up on the small stage set up to greet everyone and announce Venti's performance.

As Venti performed, his soothing voice drifted along the wind as too his lyre's tune. The audience was silent and watched him beautifully presented his composition.

When he finished, the crowd applauded him as they preached, "To the Anemo Archon!"

Y/N robotically excused herself from Lisa and silently moved to their stall. She would've approached the traveler's group, but she felt ill and anxious at the joyous event being held as she never really was one for such affair.

She busied herself at the back of the stall, checking the amount of barrels they had in stock as she was feeling restless. When she was about to clean the countertop when she felt the wind pick up, the stall's bell chimed along. She moved her hands to tie up her hair when she heard a whisper that came along the wind.

"Ease thy heart filled with woe; for the wind has brought home your beau."

Y/N froze and her heart sped up its pace, "What do you mean by that?" she whispered, half expecting Venti would respond, as she finished up tying her hair. She continued to clean the countertop in an attempt to stop thinking about what the wind whispered while she inaudibly cursed at Venti for sending the wind instead of himself, footsteps approached the stall.

She mentally prepared herself to interact with the customer and mustered up her best customer service voice, "Welcome to Angel's Share! What would you like to- Holy shit!"

Immediately she slapped her hands to her mouth, ignoring the stinging pain on both her hands and face as her eyes felt hot as she stared at the person in shock.

Thoma gave her his best smile and waved, "Hi, I would like to have your special Fruits of the Festival please. Oh and if it's allowed, I would love it if I could speak with the barkeeper." he requested gleefully.

"What are you doing here?" was the smartest sentence she gave to him. Thoma chuckled and pulled out a sheet of paper, "My Lord actually bought me ticket behind my back and said something along the lines of 'take this long overdue vacation back to Mondstadt and enjoy your time their at the festival' before he practically kicked me out hahaha."

Without any thought, she quickly moved out of the stall and wrapped her arms around him, "What the hell, remind me to punch Ayato in the face next time." Y/N mumbled as tears managed to escape her eyes. Thoma hugged her back tighter and swayed them side to side.

They pulled back and Y/N immediately grabbed his face and kissed him to which he reciprocated. The people whistled and cheered at the couple while The Traveler and Paimon covered Klee's eyes.

"You're here," she whispered against his lips as soon as they pulled apart, her thumbs rubbed the apples of his cheeks. "How long would you be staying here?" she asked.

Thoma mirrored her motions and smiled at her, "I'll be here for a really long time, darling."

Y/N's breath hitched as she looked up to her lover's eyes, "What do you mean by that?" she asked him. Thoma held her hands and leaned into her touch, "My Lord not only bought me the tickets for a month's of vacation but also offered a proposal that within the month I can choose to either stay here for good or I can return home to Inazuma. I had enough time to think about it on the way here and I chose that my home is where you are." he explained to her.

She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Thoma chose to stay with her in Mondstadt when he has told her countless times that he felt at home in Inazuma despite being homesick. "Wait are you sure you don't need more time to think about this? Where will you stay? Does your mom know you're back? Oh my Archons, I haven't visited your mom yet either-"

"Darling," Thoma interrupted her rambles. "Like I said, I had enough time to think about this. I will be staying with my mother before getting my own place to stay, so you don't need to worry about that."

Y/N bit her lip as she contemplated the situation. She has dreamed about this moment and now that it's happening, she began feeling unsure. She shook her head to get rid of the negative thoughts and smiled up at him, "You have no idea how long I've wanted you to come to Mondstadt with me."

Thoma laughed and kissed the palm of her hand, "I'm pretty sure you have been asking me for months back in Inazuma." Y/N moved her hand to fiddle with the collar of his jacket and smirked, "So I really got you now, huh." she teased as she leaned in for another kiss.

"You really do got me, Mi'lady. I'm all yours."

"That's really cute you're using that tone on me right now but I think you have to meet my brothers first before we do anything here."

"O-Oh, right."

*scrambles off the messy heap of pillows* IM FINALLY DONE

this was so hard to make bc i wanted this to be written perfectly but i still feel like its missing smth and its a bit rushed (also maybe bc every time i write them being lovely i get jealous :>) anyways, hope y'all enjoyed this one!

[cupoftaae]

Forever And A Day (KTH x READER) series ♡ sunrise in versailles (part 1) (chapter 13)

Summary: your lifelong friend is forced to face his true feelings for you once he breaks the number one rule of becoming friends with benefits: dont fall in love. He knows he loves you, but you on the other hand need more convincing of the most important thing: the right decision.

Genre: fwb. Roommates, friends to idiots to lovers, fluff, angst, smut, the whole 9 yards tbh.

Pairing: taehyung x female!reader

rating: 18+ (minors dni!!!)

word count- 6k ish

warnings- swearing, angst, some kissing, theres an argument whoops. mentions of pregnancy. fluff.

a/n- Hey m'loves, sorry for the late chapter, I hope you enjoy!!! (excuse any typos, have not spell checked!!!)

"what...?"

You tried your best to offer a small smile at the camera, taehyungs parents looked back at you through the screen with confused and angered faces.

"we are gonna have a baby" taehyung declared again, his hand coming down and out of frame to grasp yours, giving a reassuring squeeze.

Taehyungs mother looked more than upset, devastated was more the correct and fit term, while his father just seemed disappointed.

"You told us you werent together" she spoke up, her hand over her mouth as she exchanged glances with her husband.

"funny how things happen, huh?" tae chuckled nervously, this time you squeezed his hand.

"are you sure you are the father?" his dad added, making your chest pang with pain at the accusation that you were the type to sleep around so carelessly.

"You dont need to cover for her" his mom spoke

"I know he is the father, im not stupid, thank you. How dare you ask that?" you spit, feeling guilty at your outburst, but mad at his parents for even going there. "look..it wasnt our plan. Some things....occurred...and we cant change them, all we wanted to do was tell you guys and its up to you to support us or not, either way...its happening, and im sorry if you dont like it" you mumble, taehyung softly nodding and smiling, proud of you sticking up for yourself.

Taehyungs mother simply scoffed, her hand wiping her tear that had fallen.

wow. she really wasnt happy about this, about you.

"we taught you better than this, and y/n I know your mom taught you better too....you know how things are supposed to be done. You get your career started, you marry, then children." his father cleared his throat

"we dont need to do things in order, you know" taehyung spoke against his dads words, "we have a plan...I think we will be alright"

You smile at your boyfriend, hand rubbing his back. "Yeah...." you whisper, "and besides...my parents had me before marriage, they were younger than taehyung and I when they got pregnant" you try to point out.

His mom glares down at you through the laptop screen, "yeah and how did that work out for them? wheres your dad now? hm? exactly."

Your face falls at her words, you didnt even have anything to argue back, a sick feeling falling over you.

"mom..." taehyung warns, his eyes darting to make sure you were ok.

"why would you bring up such a thing?" you whisper

She shrugged, "because its life, and things dont always go as planned. I wanted my son to be an established business man by now but no, you've tied him down to the ground again."

You watched, feeling numb, as she spoke more

"we had a feeling you two would end up together, but not like this...no no...not like this"

With that, you looked at taehyung before looking back at the screen.

"I think we are done here" you were quick to hit the disconnect call button on your laptop, standing up immediately as you ran upstairs.

"y/n!" taehyung closed the computer, standing up to follow you.

Once you were inside your bedroom, you wrapped your arms around your stomach, pacing the carpet. Taehyung abruptly walked in "baby..."

"why would she say that to me? why would she go there?" you cry softly, questioning how his own mother could be so cruel.

"I am so sorry my love" he is quick to wrap you in his arms.

Your hands held him tightly as you tried to calm your breathing.

"im terrified to tell my mom now" you whisper

"something tells me she will be a little kinder..." taehyung chuckled softly.

You moved to sit on the bed, suddenly feeling uncomfortable given you were still in your work outfit from this morning. You were a bit stressed at all the sudden life changes, and the least you wanted was some compassion. You will never understand how such cruel people could birth and raise someone as loving as taehyung.

"Im sorry" you lay back, eyes on the ceiling.

"for..?" he climbed next to you, laying on his side as his hand crawled up to your stomach.

"all of this mess...your parents..."

"baby thats not your fault...screw their opinion...I have my girl, and if its just you and me in the end, im alright with that. you know why?" he mumbled softly

"why?"

"because we've already made it this far, look at how good we are doing, hm? I love you, and im proud of you....please dont listen to my mother or father, their words mean nothing. Focus on us, on you and me okay?"

You gently nod, holding his hand as he kissed your cheek. You both laid in the comforting silence of the room for a bit, before taehyungs voice brought you out of your trance. "lets take a bath"

-

The next morning you were up and at work early, checking attendance for the young children at the daycare center.

You and taehyung both agreed to hold off on disclosing the information with your mom for a few days until it felt right to do so, however part of you wanted it over with. You were about 3 months along, and it felt like things were passing quickly.

"Daniel?" you called out gently, looking around the room to find the small hand raising up to your attention.

You checked off his name before finishing the list, handing it to the main teacher.

The children were adorable, there wasn't many, only 8....5 girls and 3 boys. Though its only been a few days of work, most have warmed up to you just fine. One even trusted you to watch over their stuffed animal during recess time (thats a big responsibility)

The group was mainly produced to watch over little kids who's parents worked all day, which, you hate to admit, but made you feel a bit sad.

Children need full time attention and care, and you questioned if you would ever hand your child away to some strangers for hours, days, weeks at a time. It was crazy now that you had this wild perspective.

During your lunch break, you sat down in one of the empty classes to facetime taehyung, who answered after a few rings.

"hello?" his groggy voice came through, the screen showing the ceiling.

"aw sleepyhead, did I wake you from your nap?" you giggled, speaking sarcastically as you watched for his face.

"mm" he finally looked over his phone, a soft smile apparent, "hi baby...hows work?"

"its good actually....im not as nauseous as I was when I woke up, thank God"

"thats good."

you nod, smiling as you bit into your protein bar as you slowly sunk into your desk chair more. "how are you?"

"im good" he smiled, "I fixed the drain"

"woo!" you giggled

"I know..." taehyung yawned, rolling over and out of bed. "It doesnt make that weird noise anymore, see?" he pointed the camera down to the sink, the water flushing through normally

"good job, thank you" you smiled at your phone

"Oh and also...um, my mom called me again after you left."

"oh....?"

"yeah, I think me explaining things sort of helped her, she still isnt happy but she takes back her comment."

You sigh, "well im still upset about it"

"and you have every right to be, im just saying....she knows she was wrong"

You nod, crumpling the wrapper in your hand.

"and of course, I told her that we haven't told your mom yet, so no contact. She promised she wouldn't say anything" he mumbled

"well...thats good" you smile blankly, "maybe we should tell her tonight? I dont know..." you sigh "im so nervous"

Taehyung looks back to the phone, offering you a sympathetic smile. "angel...I know its scary but we cant not tell her...we need any support we can get"

"i know" you nod, defeated as you look at the clock. "okay honey...I gotta go, ill be home at 3, okay?"

"okay baby, love you" he smiles gently, waving goodbye before disconnecting the call.

You sigh, putting your phone into your jean pocket as you make your way back into the classroom.

"Ah, Kenji is feeling a little bit under the weather right now, I am going to direct you to sit with him for a bit while I begin the next activity?" the main teacher came up behind you, pointing you in the direction of a young boy sitting at an empty table in the back, his hidden face in his arms.

"is he feeling ill?" you question, sympathetically eying the small boy

"no..." she shook her head, whispering, "he told me his parents had been fighting all morning"

your heart pangs deeply in your chest, the surge of the feelings you felt at your own parents fighting resurfacing, you knew what it felt like to have drama at home and then be forced to go to school or work and act like nothing happened, despite being upset.

You nodded sadly and quietly made your way to the back of the room, pulling the stool out from beside him and sitting. "Kenji, you alright bud? whats going on?" you gently rub his back, trying to get him to lift his head up.

"mm..im okay" the tiny voice squeaked

"you know...its okay if you arent" you whispered, leaning your head into your palm. "do you wanna talk about whats going on? you dont have to, but sometimes it feels better to let it out, especially if you dont always get the chance to." you try to course him along, not wanting to pry but rather wanting to provide relief.

With this, Kenji slowly lifted his head, cheeks red in embarrassment as slight tears watered his eyes. "I dont wanna talk" he said apologetically

You frowned for a moment before composing your teacher-like empathy, "thats okay, but is it alright if I sit here with you?"

He nodded, putting his head back down as he leaned closer to you, the only thing you could possibly do was rub his back for a bit longer before grabbing the nearby crayons and paper.

"you wanna draw?"

He nodded, silently as his chubby hand grabbed a crayon. "'dont know what to draw"

You giggled, "well....do you have any pets?"

He nodded enthusiastically, almost as if the mention of his pet was able to pull him out of his behavior.

"really?" you smiled widely "what kind of pet do you have?"

He grinned, his smile missing many teeth, "I have a cat! her name is chibi!"

You laughed, "chibi, small in japanese, is chibi really tiny?"

"yes, she this big" he reaches his hands out to show you the exact measurements.

"wow! that is tiny, you should draw her for me, i'll hang it up on my fridge at my house" you giggle

"really??" he widened his eyes, grabbing the paper as he furiously began to draw, you were happy to take his mind off whatever home troubles were burdening him.

He, at least for that moment, completely forgot about his sulking, and the way he drew quickly told you that.

"I have a pet fish, yknow" you smile, watching him draw.

"ooo!!"

"mhm, his name is Hae" you nod, "hes a tiny yellow fish"

"hae is a funny name" he blurts, smiling as you show him a photo of your pet.

"its Korean for sun, like in the sky" you add, knowing that Kenji isnt super familiar with the Korean language. "My boyfriend bought him one day and now he has this huge tank, we even put a little spongebob figure in there. Do you like spongebob?"

He giggled, "yeah, maybe hae and Chibi can be friends"

you grin, "Oh that would be lovely huh?"

He held up his picture before immediately putting it down "wait!" he grabbed the yellow crayon and began to add a small touch to the corner of the page, turning it around and waiting for your approval.

"did you draw hae and chibi?" you spoke, your hands holding his smaller one.

"mhm!!"

"oh my! this is beautiful Kenji, thank you bubs! i'll make sure to show this to Hae so he knows his new best friend"

Kenji beamed in confidence, writing his name on the page before gifting it to you.

"thank you!" you spoke, kenji gently hugging you before the main teacher made her way over.

"hows everyone?" she cheered, glancing at you

"we're good, right kenji?"

He happily nodded

"your daddy is here to pick you up, but make sure you hold Miss.Y/n's hand out to the front okay?"

You gently take kenji and make your way down the stairs to the parent pick up spot, you kneel down. "do you see your daddy?"

The smaller boy eagerly looks around, scanning the tall adults for the familiar face, "oh hes here!!" he jumps up and down, dragging you over to the man standing against the wall on his phone.

"daddy!!!" Kenji runs and clings to his fathers leg, his dad laughing and picking him up. "this is Miss.Y/N!!"

the fathers eyes drag up to you, offering a greeting smile. "hello" he bowed his head politely, "Min Yoongi" His hand reached out for yours

You shook it, smiling back "nice to meet you, Kenji had a fun day, make sure he tells you all about it"

He chuckled softly, his arms squeezing the small boy in his hold. "oh yeah?"

Kenji nodded, "I told her about Chibi"

"oh yeah, chibi, our fat cat" Yoongi teased

"shes tiny!!"

"not anymore"

You couldnt help but giggle at the adorable interaction, "well make sure you say hi to her for me, yeah?"

Kenji nodded, standing to his feet as he took his dads hands. "well i'll be seeing you around then" yoongi grinned, watching you say your goodbyes to Kenji

"yep, i'll be here tomorrow" you giggled, waving the two off before helping attend to a few other students.

Min Yoongi couldnt help but notice how gentle you were with his son, it made his heart happy that he could be at a safe place during the day instead of having to witness the downfall of him and his mothers marriage.

He also took in your appearance, noting how beautiful you were, but the thoughts quickly disappeared as his son begging to leave for ice cream.

-

You texted Taehyung as you left work, your feet dragging you down the street as you avoided bumping into others

Me: taetae im free...want me to pick you up coffee? (3:06pm)

Tae<3: yes, thanjs my love (3:07pm)

You giggled at his typo as you looked up, turning your direction in the way of the store before you felt a hand on your back, gently asking for your attention

"um..hello?" you took your headphones off as you turned, your eyes widening as you took in the appearance of the man you haven't seen in quite some time.

"Y/n..." he looked upset, rough, and like he had not been taking care of himself, not that he ever really did anyways.

"kaito?" you scoffed, looking around as if this was some joke

"please, im sorry, I dont mean to interrupt you and I know i'm the last person you want to see right now but I just ...I need to talk with you" he exhaled, hands defenseless as they fell openly to his sides, his venerability at show.

Your eyes glared over him before you took a breath, deciding that the risk factor here was low.

"what?"

He swallowed, looking down at you sadly. "are you pregnant?"

Your breath caught in your throat.

Yup. he knows.

Trying to figure out what to respond was hard, the pause and lack of defense was probably enough to answer his question. "I...."

"I saw...taehyung..." he said his name as if it was venom, hard to pronounce, "a-and I know you guys are kinda...whatever. I just want to know....are you? is it...is it mine?"

Throughout everything that has been clouding your mind, you haven't had a moment to sit down and realize the possibility that the child could realistically be either Taehyung or Kaito's.

You rarely were intimate with your ex, but the slight chance was still there, and the fact you never realized it until now only adds another problem onto your already spilling over plate.

He took in your panicked state, speaking up "if it is, im....not mad, I just want to know. I know you hate me and you deserve to, but-"

"yeah"

"yeah what?"

"I am...pregnant" you whisper, "please dont tell anyone?"

his eyes fell low, his expression turning soft. You aren't used to seeing Kaito like this, his kind side..

"Its Taehyung's" you gulp out, because hell, even if it is Kaitos, in no way would you want him back in your life. Not after what he said, what he did. He could swear up and down that he's changed but it wont matter to your opinion or baby, at the end of the day, taehyung would be the father....biological or not.

With a sigh, he covered his face "im not gonna tell anyone....I just...I miss you, and I wish that I was the one with you during this and-"

"you dont deserve to be the one, Kaito." you spit, growing uncomfortable. "annie, chae and dahyun all abandon me over your words, over your actions...I was the one who was painted out to be the bad guy...and not once did you come to my defense!"

He nodded sadly "I know...I know"

"you fucking blame taehyung but hes been the only one there for me through it all, hes the only one I have!" you choke out, turning around in frustration "fuck...the nerve you have to do this to me right now"

"are you sure its Taehyung's?" he whispered, not in a rude way, more so in a last attempt to get you to talk with him

"stop with that!"

"If its mine I want to be there, I want to help out, even if you hate me, y/n" his face read regret and desperation

"as if I would ever let you close to me or my family again...the audacity you have is beyond anything ive ever seen....its never gonna happen, you treated me like shit over and over again, nothing will change, Kaito, and ive moved on. You need to as well...." you spoke before brushing past him

Kaito looked up at the sky with dreadful eyes, not able to watch you walk away from him again. He regretted his actions everyday, and just wanted 5 minutes to explain exactly what has been going on during the past few weeks. He wanted to explain that it was all Annie, that she was the one who spread rumors, she was the one who turned your friends against you, he wanted so badly to sit and apologize for anything hes ever done, and tell you that hes trying to change for real this time....but now the only thing he can do is store his thoughts away, as you leave again.

-

"I think we just need to say fuck it and go to Paris"

Taehyung looked away from his hands as he hung up new curtains you bought, the ladder he stood on shaking as he turned to you. "hm?"

"I think we should just go, I really need to get out of Busan"

He smiled gently, eyes returning to his task "I thought we agreed to go in a few weeks, that way you can visit your mom after words during vacation time"

"we should go now, I dont really care anymore"

He frowned a bit at your tone, "whats the urgency, baby? everything okay?" he stepped down the ladder.

You swallowed, "everything is fine, I just need a vacation, and I think its good to just...go"

He nodded slowly, trying not to pry into your sudden desire to leave, "okay...um, we can do that. I'll call them..." he smiled, "what about your mom? thought you wanted to tell-"

"it can wait"

"are you sure youre okay Y/N?"

you sigh, laying into his chest as you hug him, "I just want to be away and alone with you, stressed." you mumble, deciding against getting into the whole kaito thing, knowing he would blow it out of proportion.

Taehyung rubbed your back "ahh...okay....well how do you feel if I move the trip to Monday?"

"i'll let work know"

-

"here"

Taehyung handed you a cold cloth that he had dampened in the airplane bathroom, allowing you to put it on your neck.

Given that there has been time between your last airplane experience to now, you were more prepared on what to do when you felt sick.

"thank you" you mumbled, closing your eyes "how much longer?"

"6 hours baby" Taehyung spoke sadly, looking back at you, your face was pale and clammy.

"mm...damnit"

"I know but just sleep, i'll be here, okay? breath through it" his gentle smile brought you to feel even a little safer.

The flight was long, and bothersome. When you werent on the verge of puking, you tried to sleep, but the seat was too uncomfortable so you tried to lean up against Taehyung, who was moving too much, so you decided to just lay back and count the minutes until this hell ride was over.

The only safe thought was that soon you and taehyung would be alone, entirely, in Paris. The most romantic place...pretty much ever.

You did your best to ignore the whiney nagging voice in the back of your head reminding you about what Kaito said, and how the baby could possibly be his. You wanted to discuss with your boyfriend, which would have been the right thing to do of course, but the way Taehyungs eyes light up when you talk or even slightly mention the pregnancy in anyway, makes you feel like a knife was throw directly into your heart. You cant break him, its okay to lie in some instances, right?

Besides, you were 99.9% positive it was taehyung's anyway, considering there was only a few times you and Kaito ever did it, and only once without secure protection. Chances here are, youre worrying about nothing.

This trip will be nothing but relaxing, a week away from all the shit in both of your lives.

The last time you and Taehyung went to Paris was a few summers ago, it was before the whole friends with benefits and emotionally constipated feelings arose, so this time around will be like an incredibly new experience.

Once the plane ride did finally come to a stop, Taehyung helped gather your luggage as you made your way to the center of the airport arrival gate.

"The taxi guy told me he would pick us up around 6:25pm, we have a few minutes, lets grab something to eat....you didnt eat on the plane"

You smiled, pulling your bag behind you, "because the food was gross, and I felt awful"

"are you feeling better now?"

"a little...I just need to sit and drink water"

He made sure to allow you time to relax as you felt your nausea slip away

Once you both got in the taxi, you eagerly looked out the window to admire the beautiful city that is Paris, the way everyone dressed, the beautiful agriculture, Busan had its perks...but Paris was such a different experience.

"im glad we're here" taehyung whispered, kissing your shoulder as he reached for your hand

"me too" you grinned softly, leaning forward to press a quick kiss to his lips "thank you for taking me"

"I wouldn't know who else to take, your my only one." he whispered, squeezing your hand

It was late in the evening, but the sun was just starting to set once you both arrived to your hotel

"oh this is beautiful" you spoke as you stood out of the car, admiring how fancy everything seemed.

"wait until you walk in"

your boyfriend assisted you with getting the bags out, putting them on a small wheeler as you began to lead inside the building.

A cool breeze hit you once you entered the lobby, an overwhelming aroma of cleanliness and bakery foods filled you, making you turn to taehyung "wow..."

"yeah...." he smiled, eyes looking everywhere, "lets check in, I wanna see our room"

-

The room that was arranged origanally just for Taehyung, included a king sized bed, a large flat screen tv, a mini fridge, and.....a terrace with chairs.

"this is so fucking cool!!" you giggled, running around the spacious area before collapsing on the bed

"this is so exciting, look!!" he ran to the terrace, admiring the view of the now dark city, lights shining everywhere.

You had gotten up to follow, a smile creeping onto your face as you hugged him from behind. "I love you"

He turned his body to face you, arms grabbing your waist before pressing a delicate kiss to your lips "I love you" his forehead was pressed to yours as he gently swayed, the music from the cafe below was loud enough to hear from outside, adding to such a perfect moment.

"this is gonna be a fun trip"

"I agree....lets just not worry about anything, just you and me" you whisper, hands cupping his face

"just you and me, thats easy" Taehyung chuckled, spinning you around before teasingly dipping you over, kissing you again

"how romantic" you giggled, holding onto him

"mhm I try" he led you back into the room "we can unpack in the morning while we have breakfast, I plan to go museum searching tomorrow anyways"

"that sounds fun...let me at least unpack an outfit so I know what to wear" you ran to your suitcase, eyeing some dresses and taking them out as taehyung laid on the giant bed, eyes looking at the french tv guide.

You held a fluffy white dress up to you in the mirror, tilting your head as you decided if it was a good choice or not. Taehyung looked over and smiled, "thats cute, baby"

"is it?" you look over, "I tried it on before we left....its okay, its kinda tight around my stomach and you can kinda see the bump at this point."

Taehyung stood to stand behind you, arms hugging you as you shared a gaze in the mirror. "my beautiful girl" his lips reached your neck "why wouldnt you want to show it off? youre sexy" he teased, gently squeezing your butt as you sighed

"ahh! stop" you jokingly scolded, folding the dress "I guess i'll wear it...its supposed to be really hot tomorrow" you tossed the clothing down on top of your suite case as you turned to look at your boyfriend "what are you doing?"

He scrolled through his phone, tapping something before a gentle jazzed tune emitted throughout the room, you raised an eyebrow as he set the device down.

"dance with me"

"no" you giggled, turning as his arm gently grabbed yours

"please, baby, just for a little" he smiled, voice low and quiet as you fell against his chest. "you look so beautiful...wanna enjoy every moment I have with you"

You blush, closing your eyes as he sways a bit to the music "i look dirty...I am dirty, we just had a 12 hour flight"

"you're always beautiful, and we can take a shower after this"

"so you admit it, I stink" you giggle

He sighed, pulling away to look you in the eye "no, im just saying we can clean up after, stop questioning everything and just let me love you right now and always" he smirked

"mmkay...." you smiled, hiding your face before swaying again

The room was dim, and you had to admit, you were more at peace in this moment than you had been in the past month.

"love you...so much" his hands grazed your back as he spoke against the top of your head.

"Love you more" you whispered, tightening your grip on him.

For a split second you felt guilt, guilt because you forgot that you were pregnant, and it wasnt just the two of you...and you will never have time like this alone again...and somewhere deep down you feel sad about that.

As if he knows your mind is wandering, he leads you to the bed and sits down, pulling you to his lap. "do you wanna sleep before we order dinner?" he asked, hands combing through your hair

"yeah.."

he pulled you down to lay on his chest, between his legs. The rather loud sound of his heartbeat allowed you to melt into his touch.

You couldn't help but imagine as you closed your eyes, that is was just you and taehyung....and you had done things the right way....just you, and your boyfriend together on a trip.

The thought was rude, and selfish, but it didnt stop you from thinking it.

Life would change, and you knew you needed to start taking advantage of these moments now, before youre mom and hes dad.

right now?

you're Y/N and Taehyung.

taglist-

@turnthepageandbeburnt @taebangtanbabe @borahaexoxo @lelefoodlover @tan-veee

[quinesone]

my live messy thoughts on season 4 part 3: first half

before i try to make my thoughts congruent and readable, i wanted to note down my raw thoughts (i only removed 1-2 lines of future chapters' spoilers). because honestly, i only remember reading chapter 132. either i only skimmed the other chapters or skipped them.

(by raw, i mean raw. i was typing these while watching as;dljfk)

anyway yeah.

____________

teared up right away in these kids' first scene

omg

😭 😭

already crying when Eren cried

the rumbling is absolutely terrifying

WTF

aruani :) :) :)

??? This OST. Omg eye-water

why tf am i crying again

teared up again when Falco screamed

mikasa understanding Annie was kinda cute. Im still crying tho

levi trying to walk :'(

omg im

im only sadness right now and its just the yelena scene

the engineers look so scared 😭

pieck ❤️💔

levi struggling 😭

reiner hugging annie 😭 Annie smiled a little 😭

the sunrise lighting omg it's so beautiful

the kids waving goodbye 😭

aruani 😭

omg hangeee 😭 😂

IT'S THAT LINE

please Levi looks so solemn 😭

oh sh Floch

onyankopon you jinxed it 😭

oh my god murphy's law, why

wtF

i already read this but im still so

hange and jean's so good, they still checked Floch 😭 how can she still be so calm and gentle

"even if we fail today, one day we might not"

HANGE

oh my god im cry laughing already oh my god-

she's beautiful

she's being so strong for the kids

omg levi waited for her

oh mt gos

roa fm

om fod

he looka so

solemn

oh my God

oh my God

😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭

that haHA

THE MUSIC

LEVI NOT LOOKING

OH MY GOD

😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭

spare me isayama please /s

yall levi really didn't watch? 😭 He went in right away? 😭

(levi wasn't holding the fist that was on Hange's chest? 😭)

LEVI 😭 😭 😭

my god this scene has no right being this beautiful

omg the old Scouts

hange looking up looked so beautiful

SASHA 😭

- oh levi's holding his hand now - commander armin :'( - levi: that's what Hange thought - levi saying he'll take down zeke :'( he looks so tired already - :( connie :( - now im tearing up again - reiner :( :( - these kids 😭 😭 - "he's letting us swim free" now isn't that a loaded statement - save them please 😭 - levi, the tired dad - the kids are running 😭 - "you're free. you're free to defend yourself from the world" - "you're free" - save them please. - Commander 😢 -?? Oh I forgot this part with falco, gabi, and annie happened in the manga hahaha - who's this blonde guy again - this general is an mvp - baby reiner 😭 now im crying again - oh fk zeke - zeke makes me terrified of baseball - "im sorry you sinless childred" 😢 - levi's face - what an epic entrance - scout entrances are always so cool - pieck has bombs all over her 😭 - "what part of you is free now"

[sevenf1ng3rs]

His Burden: Chapter 14

Chapter 14: I loved you

The Next Morning - Namjoon's POV

Namjoon opens his eyes the following day, feeling indescribably happy. He looks down and sees you lying on his chest, the light peeking through the blinds casting gorgeous shadows on your face. With your hair splayed out underneath you and your peaceful face while sleeping, you are indeed the most beautiful girl in the world to him.

"Hey, you want some breakfast?" he sits up and stretches, rolling your head onto the pillow.

"Hey," he shakes your shoulder a little trying to wake you, "wake up."

Oh god, why isn't she waking up?

Namjoon starts to shake you harder, grabbing your shoulders and rocking you back and forth.

"Wake up, wake up!" he yells out, starting to panic.

This can't be right. We're soulmates. I know we are.

"Not again. This can't happen again. I can't take it!" tears well up in his eyes, realizing that, once again, the curse had failed him.

I can't live in a world where I kill everyone I love.

Namjoon remembers first meeting you, how you smiled at your friend and lit up the whole room with your presence. He remembers first kissing you, how you writhed under his touch and moaned his name as he pleasured you. When he sat all day in the coffee shop, pretending to work, staring at you and admiring you in your element. The first time you pleasured him in his car, he felt so loved and cherished in the way you cared for him. He thought of all his favorite moments, your smile brightening each one.

I'm a danger to this world. I know what I have to do.

Namjoon slowly pushes off of the bed, now fully crying. He walks towards the doors of his balcony, swinging them open. He looks at the sunrise, imagining what it would be like to watch it with you. He realizes now that he would genuinely never see you again. You are going to heaven. You are practically already an angel. He, on the other hand, is certainly not. A demon walking on earth, ruining everything he touches. He looks back at you one last time, burning your face into his memory. He sighs before returning and walking to the balcony's edge, being held up only by the guardrail.

"I loved you," he whispers, preparing to hop over the edge of the railing.

He grabs the edge and lifts his foot when he suddenly hears a quiet yawn from the bedroom. Namjoon snaps his head around and immediately lets go of the rail, returning to the balcony.

The Same Morning - Your POV

"Namjoon?" you wake up and look around, seeing his side of the bed crumpled and empty but still warm.

Where'd he go?

Namjoon walks through the balcony doors in tears, smiling and sitting down next to you, putting his head on your lap and sighing what sounds like relief.

"Wow, you're a really heavy sleeper," he says, laughing through the tears.

"Well, I was just having the best dream," you reply, oblivious to his previous behavior.

"Was I in it?" he asks as you absentmindedly play with his hair as he lies on you.

You look away in embarrassment.

"Maybe," you look down, admiring his face.

It's then that you notice the dried tears on his cheeks.

"What's wrong, babe?" you pull his face off your lap and examine him closely.

"Nothing, I'm just so happy to see you," he smiles, laying his head back down and pressing it into your stomach.

"Oh, so those are tears of joy," you tangle your fingers back into his hair. "I didn't do anything weird last night, did I?" you ask, slightly embarrassed.

He turns away from your stomach to look up at you, smiling. "You were perfect," he says, leaning up for a kiss.

Namjoon gets close to your face, placing his hand on your cheek before being blocked by your palm.

"I can't kiss you good morning," you pull away from him, kicking the covers off your legs.

I definitely don't smell the best after last night's blood, sweat, and tears.

"Let me shower first," you say, swinging your legs over the edge of the bed.

"Okay...I love you," he responds, watching your back as you get up.

You hop out of bed and head to the bathroom quickly, blushing as you remember you don't have pants on.

I know we just had sex, but I still feel nervous being half-naked before him. He's so perfect. What if my body only looks good to him while he's horny?

You scurry into the bathroom and undress fully, turning the shower on.

KNOCK KNOCK

"Hey, can I grab my toothbrush real quick?" Namjoon calls from behind the door

"Yeah, give me one sec," you shout back, looking around for a towel.

You quickly wrap the towel around your body and open the door for Namjoon, who rests his arm above the door frame. He looks you up and down, admiring your body with a grin before entering. Somehow you muster up the confidence to say,

"Is that all you're here for?"

"Yeah, why else would I have come in here," he says, opening the cabinet and pretending to search very hard for his toothbrush.

You look away, annoyed by his calm demeanor. Meanwhile, fireworks go off in your stomach as you stand before him in a towel.

"Are you mad at me?" Namjoon says jokingly, abandoning his fake search for a toothbrush and coming closer to you.

He crouches down to stand face to face with you, him in his boxers and you in a towel, a smirk adorning his features.

"Do you have to shower, too?" you ask, feigning confidence.

"Yeah, it's fine though; I'll just wait," Namjoon says, straightening back up and looking down at you.

"Why wait...I mean, isn't that a waste of water?" you ask, slightly shy.

"What're you suggesting?" he smirks at you, leaning his hip against the counter and crossing his arms.

"Don't be so dirty," you push his chest and walk backward, "It's just a shower. Up to you if you want to join me or not."

You turn around and drop the towel to the floor, not looking back at Namjoon, knowing he's already watching. You step into the shower and reach your hand out, testing the water. When you fully submerge into the stream, you hear the shower door open and Namjoon stepping inside. You turn around and smile, admiring his naked body in the steam.

That's all you do for a few minutes—simply coexist in the shower and let the water wash over your bodies. When you reach down to pick up the shampoo, he takes it out of your hand, opens the cap, and squirts some onto his hands.

"Let me do it," he asks, half as a question and half a demand.

You smile and turn your back to him, leaning your head back to give him full access to your hair. He lathers the shampoo in his hands and applies it to the top of your head, massaging lightly. He makes sure to saturate every bit of your hair, rubbing his nails lightly on your scalp and twirling your hair into one foamy mess. He turns you around and chuckles slightly at your appearance, pushing you back into the water and letting it run out every last bit of soap in your hair. He does the same with the conditioner, rubbing your hair through his palms to soak it into the ends and combing it lightly with his fingers, ensuring your hair is perfectly smooth before washing it out.

When it comes time to wash your body, your face heats up slightly, even though he had his hands all over you just last night. He puts some body wash in his hands and lathers it against your shoulders, taking his time. He cleans your body meticulously and gently as if you were a porcelain doll that would shatter if he pressed too hard. He washed every bit of you, his hands lingering on your arms and waist, causing you to shiver. His hands ghost over your breasts, his fingers lingering at your nipples. You hold in a moan when he grips your thighs, his hands rising tantalizingly higher toward your core.

"Have to get you all clean, you know," he says looking up at you, the glint in his eyes revealing his dirty thoughts.

When he washes you off thoroughly, you feel extremely clean, the weight of his hands still resting on your hips. You turn around in his hold, grabbing the shampoo in your own hands.

"My turn. Kneel, though. You're too tall for me." You giggle as he kneels, rolling his eyes jokingly at your insistence.

You do precisely to him as he did to you. Lathering his hair with shampoo, combing the conditioner through it, and, most importantly, washing his body as gently as he did yours. You make sure to put equal love and care into each step, wanting him to feel as special as you did. When you finish washing his body, he smiles down at you pulling you in for a kiss.

You noticed it when you were washing his body but decided to brush past it in favor of scrubbing him down, but now that it was pushed against your stomach, it was harder to ignore. His cock was fully erect, begging to be touched. He shallowly pushes his hips into you repeatedly, trying to tell you he wants you without saying it out loud. You pull back and smirk at him,

"Do you want something, by any chance?" You tease, bringing your hand down and wrapping it loosely around his length.

He closes his eyes and moans softly, "Mmm yeah. Kinda," he responds, pushing himself into your hand.

You chuckle as you remove your hand, and he looks down at you in a silent pout.

"Tell me what you want then," you ask him boldly, relishing how his eyes darken at your words.

"Yeah? Well, what I really want, is to fuck you silly, right here against the shower wall. How does that sound?" he backs you into the wall, one hand beside your head and the other playing teasingly with your pussy.

You only moan in response, closing your eyes at the feeling of his fingers circling your entrance.

"What was that? I need you to use your words, baby," he responds with a teasing tilt.

"Please fuck me. I want you so bad," you moan, hoping it's enough for him to give in and give you what you want.

It proves itself worthy enough, because he pushes two of his fingers inside you, all the way to the knuckle, pressing against the sides of your walls. You whimper at the feeling, knees starting to buckle.

"Need to get you prepped for my cock. Only barely fit last night," he speaks nonsensically, watching your face that is screwed up in pleasure. He removes his hand that was on the wall beside your head and brings it to your nipple, pinching it and rolling it between his fingers, tugging on it when he deems it necessary. You moan and clutch his shoulder, needing to find a lifeline in the pleasure pulling you away from reality. He sinks his head to your neck, sucking on the sensitive spot below your ear, causing your chest to heave, and moans pick up an octave. Just as you were about to feel yourself topple over the edge, he pulled out and away from you abruptly, stepping back and smirking.

"Nooooo, whyyy. I was so close," you whimper, rolling your hips up to try and convince him to keep going.

"I know." he chuckles, "that's why I did it. It'll make it feel so much better later, trust me, baby."

He leans down and kisses the frown off your lips, squeezing your tit with his big hand as he does so. It's enough to make you forgive him immediately, grinding your hips against his as he kisses you. You bring his cock into your hands, pushing it between your thighs. You squeeze your thighs together tight, giving him a tight squeeze for him to thrust into. The water only amplifies the slide, and he grinds his dick between your thighs, moaning at the visual.

"Okay, turn around." He says, breathing heavily and grabbing your hips tightly to turn and face you towards the shower glass. "Damn. Where did you even learn that shit? God, you're so damn sexy. I need to be inside of you right now." He babbles to himself distractedly as he places your hands against the shower and lines himself up with your entrance.

He gives you one final squeeze to your hip before pushing himself into you. You cry out at the feeling, tighter and more profound than it felt yesterday. He moans to himself, squeezing your ass and peeling your cheeks apart with one hand, the other above your head, steadying himself against the wall. He throws his head back at the sight of him disappearing within you again and again, increasing the pace and the depth of his thrusts by the second. It's nothing compared to last night, as if he's now only fully letting himself go, realizing he wouldn't break you. That he could fuck you properly. That you secretly like it rough.

The force of his thrusts pushes you up against the glass, arms now bent at your sides and tits pressed flat against the glass. Your head is turned to the side, mouth open in a continuous moan, drool trailing out of your mouth, eyes rolled back into your head. He fucks into you at a numbing pace, the sound of the echoey bathroom and water against your bodies amplifying the sound of skin slapping skin and the squelch that comes out of you every time he pushes in.

"Fuck," he gasps, panting wildly, "turn this way, yeah fuck."

He pulls you away from the shower glass, turning around and pressing his own back against the foggy glass of the wall and holding you up with one strong arm under your waist, the other pinning your arms against your back. He uses the wall as leverage to pound his hips into yours, his balls hitting your clit deliciously with every stroke. With the change of the angle and the feeling of his arms carrying your entire weight, your end threatens to be impossibly near. Namjoon feels you clench around him, picking up his pace slightly to amplify your release. When you do, the pleasure is blinding, his name bouncing off the bathroom walls and filling the room, moaning and fluttering around him. Your release is enough to bring him close to his end, pulling out of you abruptly and jerking himself off in his hand.

"Where do you want it," he asks, clenching his teeth to push back his release for a second longer.

"All over my face," you reply in a moan, dropping to your knees for the perfect angle for him to shoot his load directly onto you.

"Fuckkk," he curses at your uncharacteristic response and fights to keep his eyes open to watch as his cum spurts onto your face, large surges at a time. It shoots across your cheek, on your lips, and some across your eyelids as he paints your face white.

He gasps as he finishes, dropping his softening dick from his hands and pulling you up by your shoulders for a kiss. His cum gets into his mouth and onto his face, but he doesn't care. Right now, he needs you to know how much he appreciates you and loves how good you make him feel.

He laughs lightly as he pulls away, smiling from ear to ear when he looks at you.

"Let me clean you up," he says, grabbing a washcloth from just outside the shower and wetting it to rub his cum off both of your faces.

"I love you so much," he says as he holds your face and kisses your nose, eyelids, and cheeks with his soft lips. You giggle at the action, your love for him shining through.

You hold his hand and bring him out of the shower, grabbing towels for the both of you.

"I love you too. So much," you respond, pulling him in for another kiss in the steamy room.

"One more thing, I want you to meet my friends," Namjoon says with a smile.

[ragingbookdragon]

I fuel what I desire bestie <3

**********************************************************************

They’re always gone before sunrise. Never a second late, gone with the wind, like wild horses on the plain. She knows it’s how it has to be. Marshals can’t stay in one place for too long, even the home base, too many criminals to catch, too much crime to stop. Still though, she can’t help but feel saddened every time she wakes up to cold sheets and a note that says, “I’ll be home before you know it, love. -S.”

This time, she manages to wake up just as they’re leaving and she practically trips over herself as she throws on her robe, and yanks open the door, hopping down the stairs two at a time. Laswell looks up from the bar with a confused look. “What the hell are you doing?” she asks. “You look like a bat outta hell.”

“Can’t talk!” she shouts and crosses the bar floor to the door, opening and slamming it behind her; they’re about halfway down the road as she runs in the dirt calling his name. “Simon! Simon!”

A soft, pink hue highlights him from behind as he pulls the reins to his midnight black horse and turns, looking at her; she looks mad, the way she’s running, robe falling open, one shoe missing, hair a mess—she’s his mess. She skids to a stop beside the horse and places a hand on his knee, breathing heavily.

“G-gimme a second,” she pants, pulling her hand away to bend over and heave; Kyle and John snicker at her, leaning on their saddle to watch.

Simon looks down at her. “What are you doing?”

She waves a hand, another few seconds before she stands up and reaches into her robe, pulling out a box; she hands it to him. “Here, I meant to give this to you last night.” Her cheeks warm as she shifts on her feet. “We were, uh…busy though.”

Again, the two men behind Simon snort; he pays them no mind as he opens the thin black box and blinks at the golden bolo tie laying inside; he pulls off a glove and lifts it out of the box, looking it over. “Where’d you get this?” he asks, admiring it.

“Oh,” she murmurs. “Miss Kate took me to San Francisco the other weekend.” She stands on her tiptoes and leans on his thigh. “I saw it…thought you’d like it.”

He looks it over. A solid golden piece, carved in the middle is an angel with a halo of pearl. “This must’ve cost you a fortune,” he notes and looks down at her. “Much more than what you make slinging whiskeys and tunes.”

Her cheeks get hot as she looks away. “I may…have asked Miss Kate for an early pay…a few early pays.” He gives her a stern look beneath his mask, and she winces. “I just wanted you to have something nice from me. To…to be with you while you’re away from me.”

Simon sighs, but it’s anything but exasperated as he bends over close enough and hands it to her. “Do the honors for me, love?”

She smiles widely and loops the silver tipped cord around his neck before slipping the bolo onto it, pulling it snugly around the base of his throat. “I think I got it.”

“You sure?” he teases, and she bites her lip with a small smile.

“I’m sure.”

He leans to the side and presses his masked lips to her temple. “Thank you, Angel,” he whispers. “Now get back inside before someone sees you with me.”

“I’m not afraid of being seen with you,” she whispers back. “I’m proud to be your girl.”

He chuckles deep and low, taking her chin in his hand as he leans back up. “You’re not my girl.” His thumb swipes her bottom lip. “You’re my woman.”

Her heart sings wildly in her chest as she reaches up and takes his hand. “You promise?”

“I swear,” he replies and squeezes her hand. “I’ll be back before the month is over.” As he pulls away, she’s left with a chill and she can’t help but tear up as he pulls the reins again. “Now what’s with that face? Angels don’t cry. Not my Angel. She’s stronger than that.”

She’s quick to wipe her eyes and clears her throat. “I ain’t crying.”

He winks at her. “I’ll see you soon, Angel. Sing to the moon for me.”

“I will, Simon, every night,” she whispers. “Be safe.”

The sky is turning into a burnt orange by the time they take off, the four marshals on their horses and she stands on the porch of the saloon, waiting until their backs disappear into the dust before she turns and goes back inside.

the skull-clad marshal

[foreverindreamlandd]

Sweeter Than Honey • 3

Pairing: Mechanic!Bucky x Fem!Personal Assistant!Reader

WC: 8.2k

Summary: It all started with a failed attempt to buy your boss a new phone, and then suddenly you're in the middle of nowhere Ireland crying your eyes out in front of a handsome mechanic who would do just about anything to make you smile again...

Note: That's all, folks! Thank you so much for reading this mini series of mine. I had WAY too much fun thirsting over our favorite Irish mechanic. If I were a famous children's author with all the money in the world, I would by you all plane tickets to Ireland to find yourselves a hunky bae <3 Banner photo taken by *moi* ;)

You woke to the feeling of Bucky’s hand cupping your face, thumb stroking your cheek.

“Come on, love,” he whispered, and though your eyes hadn’t yet opened, you could hear the smile on his face as he spoke. “We got a big day ahead of us.”

God, his morning voice might actually be the thing that killed you.

He kissed your forehead and you let out a small, content sigh, eyes slowly fluttering open.

Bucky was, in fact, smiling. Eyes looking at you as if you were everything good in the world.

The sun was just beginning to rise across the vast fields before you. Bucky had originally offered to drive you back to the hotel as the late evening transitioned to early morning, but you were so happy, so lost in this magical little bubble the two of you had created together, that you said you wanted to stay in the back of the truck and watch the sunrise.

So, here you were, safely secure in the arms of the man who made your chest ache and your head spin, your leather jacket from the night before replaced by one of his flannels he kept in the truck as backup. The air was a bit chilly this early in the morning, but you barely registered it thanks to the furnace that was Bucky’s body and the blanket wrapped around you.

His smile grew as he watched you wake up, and he leaned forward to give you a slow, chaste kiss.

“Morning, love,” he murmured into your lips while pulling away.

Another happy sigh. “Morning, Buck.”

“Ready to see the sunrise?” You nodded and he kissed your nose before pulling you up to sit along with him. “Right then, we need to get moving then.”

You let out a soft whine and he chuckled, rubbing his hands up and down your arms at a quick pace and then caging your face between his calloused palms to pull you in for a deeper, hungrier kiss.

That woke you right the fuck up.

He guided you down the bed of the truck, then grabbed a few bottles of water from the cooler and you smiled as he handed one to you. Never in your life had you had someone who was so attentive to your well-being, and Bucky seemed to do it so effortlessly. 

His cheeks turned pink as you continued to stare at him fondly. “What?” he asked.

You shook your head. “I’m going to be really fucking sad when I leave tomorrow,” you responded, your voice light but coated with bitterness.

Bucky frowned, then pulled you in for a tight embrace, his chin leaning on the top of your head. “Can I be honest with ye?” 

Your heart skipped a beat as dread spread through your body in an instant. He was going to say that he couldn’t wait for you to leave, or that you leaving wasn’t going to affect him at all.

You braced yourself and nodded against his chest and he sighed, hand running up and down over your hair.

“I know it hasn’t been a full day since our paths crossed, and I don’t mean to startle ye,” he said, “But I’m pretty sure that the second you’re not within arms reach of me, my heart is goin’ to cleave in two. Colors will be less bright, the air will be less sweet, everythin’ will be dim because you’re not there.” He chuckled. “I must sound like a nut, don’t I?”

You squeezed him tighter before pulling away to look into his eyes, moving a hand up to trace along his jaw and cup his cheek.

“No,” you said softly. “I think you described it perfectly, Buck.”

He smiled, moving forward for another deep kiss, a light breeze pushing the tips of his hair into your face and you reveled in the feel of it, soaking up as much of the experience as you could.

After another passionate makeout session that made you breathless, Bucky took your hand and led you down the field and up a small hill that ended up providing a perfect view of the sunrise. You sat there between his legs, back leaning against his chest as he wrapped his arms around you. He kept his cheek pressed against yours, moving only to press his lips to your temple, your forehead, your jaw, every spot of your skin he could get to.

You turned to look at him once the rays began warming your body, admiring the way his skin glowed in the light. The way the orange/yellow hues mixed with the blue of his eyes made your breath hitch, and with the way they sparkled when he looked at you, you knew he felt the same.

As much as you would’ve liked it to, the moment could not last forever. You still had a job to do and Bucky had one more stop planned before dropping you off. He took you to a cafe, where you had the best coffee and soda bread of your life, the two of you sharing stories of your childhood, your friends and family back home, learning as much as you could about the other person.

Then, your time was up, and suddenly his truck was pulling up to the hotel. His hand was interlaced with yours, and he lifted it up to kiss your knuckles.

“See you tonight?” you asked with a smile.

He nodded. “I’ll be countin’ down the hours, love.”

You scrunched your face and he scrunched his back, the two of you giggling as you got out.

When you reached the door of the hotel, you turned around to find him still parked, eyes locked on you, smiling.

You pulled open the door and winked at him, and you could hear his chuckle perfectly in your mind as he shook his head, switching his focus to the road and driving away.

A small groan escaped you as you noticed Quentin standing against the wall by the door to your room, his arms crossed in front of him. The sound caused his head to shoot up, and he scoffed.

“Where the hell have you been?” he chastised, standing straight.

You rolled your eyes, digging through your bag for your key. “I was out.”

His hands waved around in the air as he let out an even more dramatic scoff. “Out where? With that mechanic Tony said you met yesterday? Are you even capable of doing your job, Y/n?”

You whipped your head at him, eyes filled with rage and momentarily startling Quentin.

“Quentin,” you said in a cool, calm voice. “Was there an emergency last night involving Tony?”

He huffed. “Well, no but-”

“Did Tony ask you where I was at any point last night or this morning because he needed me?”

“No but-”

“Then I don’t understand what the problem is.” You held up a hand, pressing one finger at a time as you listed off facts to the brat in front of you. “I got him his phone, I got him to his event last night, I got him back to the hotel, and now I’m here an hour before his press schedule begins. And had Tony called me at any point last night, I would have dropped whatever I was doing and taken care of it. Now unless you have some actual constructive criticism about my job performance, I would ask that you let me change and get ready so that I can get Tony where he needs to be, alright?”

He clenched his jaw, stepping toward you and you narrowed your eyes in defiance, showing no fear as he leaned down to meet your eye. “Listen here, you little-”

“Y/n,” Tony said, voice slow and questioning as he watched you and Quentin jump back from each other, eyes both on your boss with much lighter expressions. “Beck…everything okay with you two?”

Quentin let out a chuckle, seamlessly switching into his Tony’s in the room time to schmooze mode. “Of course, Tony, just making sure Y/n here got in okay. Looks like she had a wild night.” His hand patted on the flannel Bucky told you to keep covering your shoulder and you flinched.

Tony nodded slowly. “Right….uh, Y/n, can I talk to you for a sec?”

Knots formed in your stomach and you nodded, forcing yourself not to look over at Quentin’s smug expression as he walked away.

This was it, you were actually going to get in trouble for being out with Bucky last night. 

He walked over to you and smiled. “So, I take it you had fun last night?” His eyes went down to the flannel covering your arm.

You grimaced, wrapping your arms around yourself. “I’m sorry boss, I should have come home and been here if you needed anything. This was so unprofessional-”

He shook his head. “No no no, Y/n you’re fine.” He smiled. “I’m glad you had a good time! I love that giant bastard. Pretty sure I got lost in those sweet baby blues of his a couple of times yesterday.”

You laughed. “They are quite hypnotizing.” Your eyebrows furrowed. “So, you’re not mad at me? And I’m not fired?”

His eyes narrowed, head jumping back in confusion. “Absolutely not. Why on earth would I fire you?”

Biting your bottom lip, you explained to him the reason for your panicking. “Cause of the fiasco yesterday with the phone and the car, and I’ve just spent the night galavanting off with some random guy I just met.”

Tony cocked his head to the side. “Was Quentin just giving you shit for all of that?”

You blinked, not wanting to put yourself into a deeper hole with Quentin or causing Tony any unnecessary stress.

It was enough of an answer for him though and he rolled his eyes. “Clearly he never told you about his first year on the job. Kid forgot to convert my international tour schedule to the appropriate time zones. I don’t even want to talk about the number of flights and events I missed because of that.”

Your eyes widened and you breathed out a small chuckle as Tony continued. “Y/n, you are seriously doing a fantastic job. Yes, yesterday got a little crazy, but this whole job is fucking crazy. And you handled it like a champ! As far as the Bucky thing goes, you’re an adult! And though the hours for this job get a bit nutty, I hardly expect it to be a 24/7 gig. In fact, I would hate that for you. So if you meet a cute guy in a foreign country and decide to get safely swept away by him during the time I’m not asking you to buy me a new phone that I dropped off a cliff, who am I to get in the way? I am the cool boss, after all.” He winked and you laughed again.

“Thanks Tony. For this job, this trip…everything. You’re seriously probably the best boss I’ll ever have.”

He grinned. “Damn straight.” Then, he lifted his arm to check his watch. “Alright, I should go back to my room and let you get ready.” Walking backwards, Tony made a peace sign with his fingers and went back into his room.

A small smile lingered on your face as you walked into your own, checking the time yourself. 

Technically, you should start getting ready for work now so that you didn’t have to scramble to meet Tony on time.

Or….you could scramble and still make it on time….after laying in bed and pressing your face against Bucky’s flannel for five more minutes.

Yeah, that would be a good idea.

When Tony first told you about the fancy dinner you would be attending to raise money for child literacy programs, you had originally gone shopping for fancy gowns and sparkly dresses. It wasn’t everyday that you got to attend such a high society event, so why not go all out with the glam and live out your Princess Mia Thermopolis dreams?

But then, two weeks into your job you worked your first event, and you were glad that you hadn’t bought an outfit yet because you were hit with a sudden realization.

There was no way you were going to wear a dress while running around every which way for hours on end. Your thighs would never forgive you.

So, you went with pants.

A green sequin jumpsuit, to be precise (you were in Ireland, after all). 

It was now the greatest thing you owned. So sparkly and chic, yet incredibly comfortable. The quarter-sleeve piece hung loosely around your body making it easy to move around without fear of anything ripping or tearing, and its tie belt wrapped around your middle to give your figure shape. 

In this outfit, you felt hot as fuck even as you were lugging stacks of chairs across the large ballroom, a thin sheen of sweat forming over your brow as you hustled to put everything together. 

You had thought that Quentin had set everything up last night, seeing that he used it as an excuse to skip Tony’s event. It turns out that he had set up the tables….and rolled the racks of chairs into the room.

That was it.

So when you showed up an hour before showtime to a half-empty room, you asked one of the servers setting up the bar for a free shot of scotch before getting to work, scrambling to decorate the tables and put up the seating cards and make the fundraiser that was supposed to raise millions for children’s literacy program into something that looked worth investing in.

Luckily, after a month of working for Tony, you had grown used to the chaos and you were able to shift to total work mode and get things done quickly. Within thirty minutes, the tables were dressed and decorated. You were so focused that you barely noticed the stack of chairs being lifted from your hold for a moment until you realized that you were walking towards a table with empty arms.

You stopped short, staring at your hands confused until you heard a soft chuckle behind you. And then Bucky was walking past you toward said table, chairs in hand. You took a moment to ogle at the giant irishman, dressed in a tux that fit his body extremely well. So well, in fact, you felt slightly concerned that if he turned too quickly he might tear the fabric. The thought made you instinctively run your fingers over your mouth to make sure you weren’t drooling. 

“Ye gonna stand around all day while I get this place situated, love?” he asked, giving you a side smile as his eyes looked you up and down hungrily. “Not that I’m complainin’ if ye do. Ye look too gorgeous to be doin’ any work, in my opinion.”

You grinned, running forward to give him a quick kiss before grabbing another stack of chairs. “I love the flattery, Barnes, and I owe you many more kisses for coming to my rescue to help set up, but we have twenty minutes before the big wigs show, and this place needs a lot of work.”

He nodded, expression going serious. “On it, boss.” Then he smiled again. “Ye look beautiful, Y/n. Just gotta make sure ye know.”

Your smile grew. “And you look devilishly handsome, Bucky. Now let’s get this party started so it can be over that much faster and I can finally rip that bowtie off of you, undo a few buttons, and mess up that gorgeous hair of yours.”

This time, when Bucky nodded, he stayed silent as you watched his Adam’s Apple work.

By the time the first round of guests arrived, the room looked stunning, as if an entire team of workers spent hours making sure everything was perfect, instead of two now very exhausted people running around last minute in a panic. As soon as the final napkin was placed on the table, the head bartender of the evening placed filled glasses of whiskey in yours and Bucky’s hands, congratulating you both on achieving the impossible. 

The two of you made eye contact as you downed the drink, laughing in complete shock that you had finished the job.

Tony and Quentin were one of the first to show up, Tony looking around the room in awe as they walked up to you.

You pulled on Bucky’s arm, silently asking him to lean down until his ear reached your lips and you whispered, “That’s the deck I was telling you about. Quentin.”

Bucky let out a low, almost silent growl in the back of his throat and his jaw clenched. When he stood straight, you saw him roll his shoulders back and puff his chest out, looking larger and more intimidating than ever before.

You knew he was trying to look frightening, but to you, he had never looked hotter as the Irishman went into full protective mode.

“I gotta say Quentin, you really outdid himself with this one…I swear it’s never looked this good before,” Tony said as they approached, patting his employee on the back.

Bucky furrowed his brow, opening his mouth to argue but you elbowed him in the gut and smiled, nodding at your boss.

“Just doing my job boss. You know I’ve always got your back!” Quentin narrowed his eyes as he looked Bucky up and down, sizing your date up (even though your date towered over him easily). “So,” Beck said, “You must be Bucky…”

Bucky nodded, one hand reaching around to rest on your waist as the other extended out to shake Quentin’s. “And you’re Y/n’s colleague. Heard a lot about ye.”

Quentin cocked his head to the side and shook his hand, fighting back a groan as you watched his fingers get crushed within Bucky’s tight grip. All he could do was bob his head in response, desperate for his hand to be free. When Bucky finally let go, Beck’s fingers flexed a few times to allow the blood flow to move once more.

“Anyways,” Quentin said, forcing a smile, “I should start chatting with some of the investors. You should do the same, Tony. You know they love ya.” He patted your boss on the back and Tony rolled his eyes.

“I know how to talk to people, Beck. You do your thing and I’ll do mine.”

You and Bucky exchanged glances as soon as the two of them left, then burst out into a fit of giggles. 

“Bucky, you’ve done a lot of stupidly hot things over the past 24 hours. But the look on Quentin’s face as you crushed his hand? That takes the cake, babe.”

His eyes lit up and he winked. “Listen, that deck has to know that as long as you’re my girl, he better be on his best behavior. Even if ye weren’t my girl, he should respect ye as the fierce, hard working woman ye are.”

You bit your bottom lip, fighting back the urge to kiss him senseless in a room full of people that weren’t his closest friends like at the Golden Elixir. “Well, Buck, ready to meet Dublin’s elite?”

He stayed by your side the majority of the night, chatting with various investors with so much charm and wit that you had to force yourself to stop staring at him and make eye contact with the other people you were chatting with.

It worked out for Bucky as well, because everyone you spoke with took a liking to him immediately, and as soon as he mentioned that he worked at Wilson’s, most of them remarked that they would be willing to check the shop out, complaining about the shit work “high end” mechanics did around these parts. Bucky was overjoyed at the idea of potential new business, and you beamed when he offered free tune-ups to anyone who contributed more than five thousand dollars for the fundraiser.

“Bucky,” you whispered, hand wrapping around his forearm.

He shook his head, smiling. “It’s alright, love. It’s for a good cause. Plus, we’re good at what we do, so if we can lure them in with free work, we’ll most likely get guaranteed business forever. It’s all about the investment, right?” He winked again, and you couldn’t stop yourself as you stood on your tiptoes and kissed the now blushing man on the cheek.

“Oi! Barnes!” a deep, rumbling voice echoed through the room and you saw a blond head bobbing through the crowd. “Is that you, mate?”

Yesterday, you had first thought that Bucky was the tallest man you had ever seen in your life.

Then, you met Steve, who managed to stand over Buck ever so slightly.

But now, as the blond man stood before you, you were certain that he was an actual giant, a literal skyscraper next to anyone who ever crossed his path.

Bucky smiled from ear to ear, moving forward to pull the large man in for a hug. “Thor! It’s so good to see ye, brother! How are ye?”

Thor grinned back, shaking Bucky’s hand when they pulled away. “Absolutely grand! Even more so now that I know someone fun is at one of these things.”

Bucky turned to you. “This is Thor Odinson, part of Asgard Electric. His family’s company lights up almost all of Ireland. We went to primary school together. Thor, this is Y/n, she’s Tony’s assistant.”

You extended your hand to shake Thor’s, only to let out a small yelp as he wrapped his arms around you, lifting you in the air as he hugged you with a hearty chuckle.

“Y/n! Lovely to meet ye!” He lowered you to the ground and you stumbled back to Bucky’s side. “Ye sure have a lovely woman on your arm tonight, Barnes.”

Bucky shook his head, smiling as his arm made its way back around you. “Aye, she is lovely, but I feel as if I am her arm candy for the evening. She’s quite an impressive woman. Practically put this whole thing together.”

Thor’s brows raised and he nodded. “Well, you’re lucky to have such an impressive lady.”

Bucky nodded back, squeezing you against him. “That I am.” He looked at you with a fond smile before turning back to Thor. “So, are ye here alone or is the rest of the clan here? I’ve been meaning to talk to yer mother to see how her car’s been holding up since we changed the battery last month-”

His words were cut off as the two of you were jostled by a figure bumping against your arm. Quentin.

He let out an incoherent apology as he worked to stand up straight, alcohol sloshing around in his glass and he gave you a mischievous grin.

“Well, Y/n,” he slurred, completely ignoring Bucky and Thor as his arm waved around to gesture at the crowd. “Welcome to your first party filled with the dumb, snobby rich folk. Now I know you came here with your own date or whatever,” Bucky pulled you closer to him and out of Quentin’s reach, “But you should really consider hitting up some of the old crones who are looking for a fun time. I’ve managed to add a few extra thousand dollars to a donation thanks to my generous attention to some of the guests who are looking for a little something extra.” You looked over to Thor and Bucky who were both frowning, clearly uncomfortable with what your trashed coworker was saying. 

Quentin, completely oblivious to their being upset by the conversation, kept going, and he whispered loudly in your ear, “I think I’m gonna go for the wife of the electric company guy. That hag Freyja looks like she hasn’t had a good time in decades-”

Thor roared, grabbing Quentin by his jacket and lifting him up in the air, face red with rage. “What did you just say about my mother?”

Quentin whimpered. “I’m sorry, I didn’t- I wasn’t-”

“What is going on here?” Tony emerged next to you, brows knit together in anger. 

Bucky jumped to action, moving to Thor’s side and whispering something in his ear. Thor grumbled back, but then lowered Beck to the ground, his hands still clenching his suit. He looked the terrified man in the eyes as he responded to Tony. “This little maggot just disrespected my mother, Stark, and I’m half inclined to rip his mouth from his face so that he never gets to speak ill of her ever again.”

Another whimper from Quentin. “Tony,” he pleaded, “Ya gotta, ya gotta believe me man I was just joking around of course I would never-”

“Are you drunk, Beck?” Tony asked, crossing his arms.

“N-no,” Quentin stammered, hands out in an I’m innocent manner. “I mean, I’ve had s-some drinks here and there-”

Thor let go of Beck and stood back as Tony stormed over to him, silencing his employee and you heard him murmur. “I want you out of here, Beck. Don’t pretend like you’ve been acting like a real piece of shit these past few months. I thought the new role would give you more responsibility to finally get your head out of your ass, but looks like I was wrong.” He gave Quentin a long, cold stare before saying, “Pack your bags, you’re fired.”

Quentin stared at Tony, horrified for a few seconds before he regained composure, standing straight and buttoning his suit jacket. “Fine,” he said, feigning nonchalance. “I’ll go, and see how long you last without me.” His glassy eyes bore into yours and you glared at him. “Good luck with this incompetent loser managing everything on her own-”

He yelped as Bucky’s hand grabbed him by the back of his hair, the seething Irishman now dragging him by the scruff toward the exit. Nobody had noticed the scene playing out before, but now all heads were turned to the two of them as they cleared a path to the exit. 

Bucky was back by your side in less than a minute, his hand interlacing with yours and squeezing it as he leaned down to whisper in your ear. “You okay, love?”

You nodded, squeezing back. “Thank you…for being here and taking care of that.”

His jaw worked. “Believe me, I’ve been wantin’ to do that ever since I realized he was the root cause of ye cryin’ yesterday. It was a pleasure to toss him around a bit.”

At that, you let out a small giggle, and Bucky finally smiled for the first time since the whole ordeal.

Afterwards, you went into damage control mode, starting with politely asking the servers to hand out a new round of drinks to everyone and escorting them to their seats so that speeches could start to hopefully prevent gossip from spreading too far. Then, you, Tony, and Bucky went to issue a formal apology to the Odinson family (Bucky, of course, had nothing to actually apologize for, but he still offered to do a full detail of each of their cars for free). Per your suggestion, Tony offered to donate five signed full sets of his books for the libraries at the schools of their choosing.

Thor gave both you and Bucky a big hug for dealing with Beck. “Barnes, the way ye dragged him out with his tail in between his legs was just grand! Wish it could have been me doin’ it, but I probably would have done way worse and for everyone’s sake, I’m glad I didn’t.”

Bucky nodded, shaking his hand and you smiled up at the man at your side, grateful to have him here to keep you grounded after feeling you were going to pass out from the panic racing through your veins.

You were definitely still in shock, not totally believing that Quentin had just been fired.

Thank fucking God.

The rest of the night was a roaring success. Tony went up to the stage shortly after the chaos died down, being his usual charming self and completely winning the crowd over. Bucky kept his hand in yours for the rest of the night, never wanting to leave your side.

There was one moment that the two of you had to temporarily part ways at the end of the night – much to both your disappointment – when you had to square away payment for the bartenders and caterers.

When you returned, you noticed that Bucky was standing in a circle with Tony and a few of the investors that were heading out, smiling and laughing as Bucky shook one of their hands. He turned to you as you approached and his smile widened, excusing himself to head your way.

“Making friends, Barnes?” you asked, tilting your head to the side questioningly.

He wiggled his eyebrows up and down. “What can I say, love? Everyone wants a chance to talk to the handsome mechanic who can get them a deal on good-quality service.” He leaned closer and whispered, “Becca and Sam are gonna shite themselves when they start getting calls from some of these folks.”

You laughed, rolling your eyes. “Alright, Mr. Hotshot Mechanic, how about the two of us get out of here?”

His eyes lit up in excitement and he extended his arm out, the other finding its way back around your waist right where it belonged. “Lead the way, love.”

You both bid your goodnights to Tony and then Bucky went to grab the truck, leaving you and your boss outside the venue by yourselves.

“I’m so sorry you had to deal with all this shit, Y/n,” Tony mumbled, face apologetic. “I should have fired him long ago. I guess I never realized how much he sucked until I actually hired a good assistant.”

You gave him a small smile, nodding. “No worries, Tony. I’m just sorry he wasn’t who you thought he was.”

He shrugged. “Well, I’ll be much more mindful of that when I look for a new Brand Manager. Until then, your workload might get a little nutty. That okay?”

You laughed. “If it was anything other than nutty I’d honestly be a bit concerned.”

Tony laughed with you, resting a hand on your shoulder. “Ain’t that the truth.” Headlights hit his face and you turned to see Bucky’s truck pull up. “So….are you two like, officially a thing now?”

You turned back to Tony, smile turning bittersweet. “Who knows. Kind of complicated, you know, living thousands of miles apart and all.”

“You never know. Sometimes things change.” He paused for a moment, then grinned. “Speaking of change, I got asked to go to breakfast with one of the investors from tonight right before our flight home. It’s right by the airport and it would honestly be a waste of time for me to go there and then pick you back up at the hotel.” His eyes flickered to the truck then back to you. “Do you think you might be able to find a ride to the airport and just meet me there?”

You fought back a gasp, eyes widening. Not having any morning obligations with Tony, nor driving with him from the hotel to the airport meant so much more time with Bucky. It wasn’t much, but any amount you could get with him was now a precious gift. You nodded, seeing the knowing look in his eyes and feeling like you’d never be able to adequately express your gratitude. 

He nodded back, patting your shoulder before stepping away. “Right then, go have a good night and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You grinned. “Have a good night, boss!”

His fingers moved up in a waving motion as he walked toward the valet pickup area, and you wasted no time turning and running to Bucky’s car.

The first stop was to the hotel so that you could both change into sweats and pack up your things. You nearly squealed with delight when Bucky let you remove his bowtie in between kisses, and then nearly dropped all of your toiletries when he removed his shirt, finally getting a peak at the hardened muscle all those terrible layers of clothing had been hiding all this time. Bucky let out a soft chuckle when you pouted as he threw on his red henley before he began to help you pack. 

Helping turned out to be more like a series of constant derailments caused by him wrapping his arms around you from behind and kissing your neck every five minutes.

Once that was done, you checked out of your hotel and Bucky put your belongings in the truck, and then it was time to drive to your new favorite spot: a field in the middle of nowhere Ireland where the stars shone brighter than the streetlights in New York.

In the arms of the man you had fallen for before you even had a chance to stop yourself. 

There were many moments when you wanted to crumble and burst into tears, as his hand cradled your face, or when his lips brushed against yours so tenderly. But you knew that as soon as you started you wouldn’t be able to stop, and you didn’t want anything to ruin this perfect moment.

Still, there were a few tears that managed to slide down your face, but Bucky kissed them away before they could leave streak marks on your skin.

You held onto each other, through the stories you shared, the silence that lingered as you stared into each other's eyes, the desperate kisses that made you wish you could stay in this moment forever.

Forever wasn’t an option, but the emotions you had felt the last two days would at least last you a lifetime.

You tried to stay awake all night, arguing that you could just sleep on the flight home. But the work from the last few days left you completely exhausted, and your lids grew heavy as Bucky’s hand moved along your arm in a hypnotic motion.

What really did you in was the moment he started humming an unfamiliar ballad, his perfect, soothing voice coaxing you to sleep.

When your eyes opened back up, the stars were gone, replaced by a purple sky.

You turned your gaze to the side to find Bucky awake, staring at you, a small, sad smile on his face.

“Morning, love.”

Things moved by in more of a haze the rest of the morning. You watched the sunrise, but your focus was more on the feel of your cheek against Bucky’s shoulder. The green fields passed you in a blur as you passed them on your way to the airport, your attention solely on the profile of Bucky’s face as he stared out at the road ahead, the way his fingers wrapped around the steering wheel of the truck, the way his hair blew in various directions from the wind.

Everything you could memorize about him, to paint the clearest picture in your head so that no matter where he was in the world, you could find him in your daydreams.

When the airport finally came into view, you felt knots form in your stomach, bile rising in your throat, dread puncturing your heart. Bucky noticed your distress and took your hand, giving you a comforting smile as he parked the truck.

You both sat there for a moment in silence, looking out at the crowds of people moving about outside, unable to make eye contact.

“We never spoke about it,” you finally whispered, taking a deep breath and turning to look at him. “About the after. After I leave…and what happens then.”

“Well,” Bucky started, clearing his throat, “I’m probably going to go to the pub and drown in my sorrows for the day after I make sure you’re settled and kiss ye senseless. And then, I’m gonna sit by my phone and wait for ye to call me when ye land and tell ye how much I miss ye.”

You smiled, tears welling in your eyes. “I know you said that you don’t have plans to visit New York anytime soon, but if you ever find yourself with a free week or something and feel like taking a trip across the pond…I would really like that.”

He bit his bottom lip, grinning. “That sounds grand.”

“And I definitely have to go back to the Golden Elixir to hang out with the hot redhead,” you said with a wink.

Bucky groaned, a low chuckle rumbling in his chest as he shook his head and you laughed along with him.

Your phone buzzed and you looked down at it, smile dropping from your face. “That’s Tony. He just got here. Guess I should go meet him.”

Bucky nodded somberly, then reached out to grab the back of your neck to pull you in for a sweet, tender kiss.

The two of you moved slowly as you grabbed your bags and made your way to the airport entrance, Bucky’s hand around your waist, thumb stroking your side.

Once you got to the double doors, you stopped and Bucky followed suit. You could see Tony through the glass windows scrolling through his phone, the one that you had been so desperate to get for him only two days ago. 

The memory of Bucky’s small smile as he handed you the small rectangular box, as if he was truly so excited to do something that would make you happy. To fix whatever was going wrong in your life.

Oh how you wished he could fix this moment for you.

You turned to him, tears starting to fall. “I-”

“I have somethin’ for ye,” Bucky said nervously, lowering your bag to the ground and reaching into one of his pockets.

You breathed out a laugh. “If it’s another phone Bucky I might slap you.”

He shook his head. “No, it’s not that, love. Although if you want one let me know and I’ll give Sarah a call.” You lightly shoved his left shoulder and he grinned. “It’s nothin’, really, and if ye hate it you’re more than welcome to toss it in the bin as soon as I turn my back. I erm,” he shifted on his feet, “That day we met, I was finishin’ up a job near ye, and as I was walkin’ back to my truck Becca called asking me to head over to BHOD to help a panicked American lass out.” He smiled fondly at the memory, then pulled something out of his pocket, holding it out to you.

It was an Irish penny, a circular piece of metal punched through it and attached to a black leather cord.

“As I was talkin’ to Becs, I saw this coin right by the front tire of my truck. I don’t know what the custom is in the states, but it’s good luck to find a penny on the ground, so I took it. I never realized how much luck I was going to get from the blasted thing, but it led me to ye, and now I feel like the luckiest bastard on the planet for getting to spend these last few days with ye. They’ve been the best days of my life, and no matter what happens when ye walk through those doors, I’ll cherish the memories forever. I just want ye to remember that.”

You took the necklace, brushing your fingers over the coin, more tears falling down your face. You looked back up at him with a smile.

“I love it.” I love you, you thought, but couldn’t find the courage to say it. You figured he knew, though, and you figured he might feel the same.

“Grand,” he said, beaming. Then he moved behind you to tie it around your neck, leaning down to brush his lips right above where the leather rested along your skin.

When he was back in front of you, his hands caged your face between them, and he wiped away your tears with his thumbs. 

“This isn’t the end, love, okay? I reckon we’re too good together for that to be the case, aye?”

You nodded. “And miss a chance to see this pretty face again? Never.”

He scrunched his nose with a smile, then pulled you in until your mouths found their way home. 

No matter how long it might be before you crossed paths again, you knew you’d never forget the mesmerizing taste of Bucky Barnes’s lips.

They were sweeter than honey.

He pulled away to envelope you in his arms, embracing you to the point of almost crushing your body, and you still felt like it wasn’t tight enough.

“Until the next time, love,” he murmured into your ear. “I’ll be counting down the seconds.”

You nodded, moving back until you locked your eyes on the beautiful cerulean ones before you.

“Remember what you said to me that first night? About your lips being mine as long as I’ll have them?”

He smiled, eyes glistening. “I do.”

“Remember what I said after?”

A tear fell down his cheek. “That ye’d have them forever.”

You kissed him again, then whispered into his lips, “I’m holding you to that, Barnes.”

His smile widened. “Sounds like a plan, love.”

You smiled back, rubbing your nose against his and running your fingers through those soft, gorgeous chestnut locks.

Then, you grabbed your bags, took a long, deep breath, and moved to the double doors.

As soon as you got inside the airport, you looked over your shoulder.

Bucky was still there, smiling at you with tears in his eyes.

With one small wave, you turned and kept walking, heart cleaving in two.

FOUR MONTHS LATER

“Listen Y/n, are you sure you can’t come with us to D.C.? We’re meeting the President and everything!”

You chuckled, looking both ways before crossing the street. “I know, I know, but it’s my best friend’s wedding this weekend. I know the President is a big deal, but he wasn’t there with a sewing kit when I had a wardrobe malfunction at junior prom.”

Tony sighed. “That asshole,” he joked and you both laughed. “Well, I hope you have fun this weekend. Maria and I will sing all the karaoke without you.”

You nodded, even though he couldn’t see the movement through the phone. Maria Hill was Tony’s new Brand Manager. At first, she terrified you, her seemingly tough and serious demeanor incredibly intimidating. But then Tony took the two of you out to a karaoke bar after the first event she worked, and you realized that she was actually just the coolest, funniest person ever. She even helped with setup and breakdown, and complimented you when you did your job well. Basically, she was awesome, and you did feel a tinge of disappointment that you were missing a chance to hang out with them this weekend even though you saw them almost everyday. “If y’all sing any Spice Girls I will be devastated, you hear?”

He gasped, acting as if you had just accused him of murder. “I would never.”

“That’s what I thought, Stark.” You checked the time on your watch. “Has your car picked you up yet? They should be there within the next five minutes.”

“Not yet,” he said. “I’m bringing my bags down right now though so I’ll be ready when they do.”

“Do you have everything? Wallet, laptop, boarding pass, Invisalign-”

“Y/n, you have to let the Invisalign thing go. I forgot it one time-”

“And then I had to overnight it to Texas for you, where it got held up at some warehouse and took twice as long to redirect it back home. I’m sorry boss, but until those pearly whites are straight and no longer need a fancy retainer, it is permanently on the checklist.”

He sighed. “You know, sometimes it’s annoying how good you are at this job.”

“Just trying to make it impossible for you to fire me.”

“Well, you already nailed that one. If you ever threaten to leave me I might actually get on my hands and knees and beg you not to. Or I’ll make Morgan give you her best pouty face.”

“That’s not fair. You know I can’t resist a Morgan pout.”

“Neither can I.” He paused, then continued. “So…the wedding. Got a date or anything?”

“Nah, I usually go stag to these things. Besides, the only person I’d want to go with is thousands of miles away.” Though your tone was joking, you felt the familiar ache return in your chest, and your free hand moved to grab the penny resting on your chest.

You and Bucky had talked non stop since you left Ireland, either texting almost 24/7, late night phone calls, FaceTiming, or sharing funny TikToks with each other. You had wished that the two of you could have reconnected in person by now, but with your chaotic schedule and him focusing on applying to schools, there didn’t seem to be enough time for it to work out. Nor did it seem like it would anytime soon…

“Gotcha,” Tony replied, “Probably for the best, anyways. I bet you’re going to be too busy making sure the bride doesn’t have her own wardrobe malfunction.”

You giggled. “Exactly.”

“Oh, car’s here. What are you up to right now?” Tony asked.

“Almost home. Why? Do you need something?”

“Well, I did have something delivered to your place that should be there by now. Just want to make sure you get it.”

You furrowed your brows in confusion, rounding the corner to your building. “What is it-”

You stopped short, mouth agape as you stared wide-eyed at the door of your apartment.

At the ocean blue irises that were now locked onto yours, the sheepish smile just below them.

“Bucky?” you breathed out.

“Oh, good,” Tony said, and you could hear the smile on his face. “Delivery got there. I’ll leave you to it then. Have a great time, Y/n.” He hung up, but you couldn’t move the phone away from your ear. You couldn’t move at all.

Bucky walked slowly down the stairs and toward you, hands buried in his pockets.

You finally lowered the phone to your side. Your heart was pounding, head dizzy. 

He stopped when he was a few feet away from you, and you noticed a pink hue form along his neck and up to his cheeks.

“Hello, love,” he said softly.

“W-what…what are you doing here?”

His shoulders moved up and down as he released a deep breath. “Well, I kind of live here now.”

Your face scrunched in confusion. “Wait, like in New York?”

He nodded. “Classes start in a week, so I just moved into my new flat.”

Your brain felt like it was moving 100mph and yet the idea of forming a coherent sentence seemed impossible. “You- classes? You do school here?”

He grinned at your words. “Columbia. Studying engineering. Also managed to snag a job as the personal mechanic for some rich author or whatever.”

Bucky was here. He was in New York. And he was staying? “I..”

“Listen, love. I know this was sprung on ye and I’m sorry I didn’t tell ye sooner. I had actually been wantin’ to apply before we even met, but I didn’t want to say that in case it made you feel any kind of pressure between us. And I honestly didn’t think I’d be able to get in because this school is so damn nice and I didn’t want to get yer hopes up. But Tony introduced me to some people in Dublin who knew members of the admissions team and..well, here I am.”

You tried to speak again, but there were too many words trying to push themselves up and it caused what could only be described as a traffic jam in your throat.

The silence made Bucky uncomfortable, so he continued. “We can talk about what this means. Obviously this is a very different scenario than what ye first imagined all those months ago. If ye wish our paths didn’t cross while I’m here, that’s…” he took another deep breath, “That’s fine. But I’d love to take ye out on a proper date if you’re interested. Many dates, if possible. Of course, I don’t know any of the places around here to eat so ye’d have to tell me what place ye like to-”

Without warning, you had finally regained control of your motor functions, and you jumped to close the distance between you, lips crashing into his.

He let out a gruff moan, arms wrapping around your waist and pulling your feet off the ground as he held you tightly to him. 

And just like that, it felt like you were back in Ireland, surrounded by fields of green as the light of the sunrise kissed your face.

His lips were just as you remembered. Soft, tender, hungry.

Sweeter than honey, and all yours.

Forever, just as you wanted.

The End 🍀

No pressure at all, but if you'd like to support me for my writing, please consider buying me a Kofi!

[1kook]

viki & hickeys

the 8th installment to netflix & chill :~)

SUMMARY Just like in those Viki dramas Jungkook likes, the world around you is enveloped in shades of pink and red, kisses and hearts, so many goddamn roses it makes you sneeze. It’s absolutely perfect— nothing could possibly go wrong when there’s so much love in the air.  WARNINGS a little hurt + a lot of comfort, mentions of cheating!villain!jin, insecure!kook, emotional breakdowns, mentions of jk’s lonely past, jk cries :( smut in the forms of making out, eating out, fingering, clit play, hickeys, jk likes cum, double orgasm, squirting, tiny praise kink, blindfolding, rough + unprotected sex, doggy style, choking!!!, breeding/impreg kink, JEALOUS KOOK, mini hand kink, a lil bit of spanking, degradation, he gets progressively meaner lol oc cries MISC there’s a lot of fuckin plot omfg -_-, it’s Valentine’s Eve!, doyeon makes Some Points, mentions of park seojoon juicy ass, they go on a d8 😳, oc like rlly wants to marry him, oc commits double phone homicide  RATING m (18+) WC 16.3k !!!! ik its fckin LOOOONG

NOTES (!) in true Viki fashion, here’s an nc fic where there’s like 3 different plot lines n a hot male antagonist <3 this series started off as just me wanting to write smut n it still is! now i just like to infuse different levels of angst into it as well </3 as always, lemme know what u think!! i proofread it twice but one of those times had been at 4 am so if u see a typo no u didn't. also here’s a gif  of jungkook crying during a dolly parton performances and here’s another gif of jungkook crying bc it’s scary how pretty he looks

Being evil and hot does not come for free. As you’ve long since learned in the past twenty-three years of your life, you truly can’t have it all. 

There is always some deliberating character flaw the universe must bestow upon you in order to level you out, make you fall onto the same plane as all the other mortals. Everyone has one, no matter how small or insignificant. Doyeon’s is that she doesn’t know how to work a straightening iron. Namjoon's is that he can’t tell the difference between water and liquor. Jungkook, despite all his tech-y nerdiness, doesn’t know how to do his own taxes. And yours? You don’t know shit about romcoms. 

Your knowledge on the romantic genre is what leads to this predicament now, the ring on your finger heavy as Doyeon regards you with what is perhaps the most unimpressed look known to mankind. “This is a promise ring,” she says bluntly, the bustling sounds of the coffee shop around you the soundtrack to your sudden realization. 

“No,” you deny, even though you know she’s right. “It’s an engagement ring.”

Doyeon rolls her eyes. “Babe,” she starts slowly, talks to you like you’re a dorky high schooler with her first boyfriend, “did he ask you to marry him?”

The truth is, the timing had been weird. It had been a few days after you’d rocked Jungkook’s world so you understand if he felt the sudden need to pop the question. But you were also sick as fuck that day, had only vaguely remembered the events because you were too busy with the snot up your nose and the raging fever you were battling. Had Jungkook asked you to marry him? 

You’re not so sure. 

It’s been a little over a month since then, and sure his lack of proactive wedding planning was a little weird, but you had always assumed Jungkook was one of those people who liked long engagements. Liked to drag out the last few months as a bachelor. Maybe he was waiting until you were both financially stable or something, who knows. 

Doyeon had been on some soul-searching journey around the country, so she hadn't been home for a while, had only heard of the ring through a two-second snapchat. This is the first time she’s seeing you and it in person; you can tell by the expression on her face that she’s rightfully disappointed. 

“Have you no shame, woman?” she tuts, arms crossed over her chest. “You have me parading around the world bragging about your engagement— just for this?”

You knock your forehead against the table, know it’s dirty and icky, but you deserve it. “Listen,” you huff. “I’ve only seen The Notebook, like, once.”

She scoffs. “I can tell. This is so embarrassing, don’t tell me you’ve brought it up to him?”

At her words you startle, nearly send the drinks flying across the floor. “No!” you shout, mindlessly reaching to twist the ring around your finger. It’s become a habit these past few weeks, a comfort to feel it around you. Granted, the feeling is a little muted now. “Of course he’d get me a promise ring,” you grumble, gaze flickering down to the silver band on your ring finger. “Jungkook loves all that cheesy corny stuff.” He really did. 

You’ve had enough of Doyeon’s disappointment, decide this coffee date has brought you enough three am anxiety material for the next year and a half. You conclude your date by taking a walk around town, arms locked together as you laugh at people who pass by because you’re both a little mean. 

“Maybe it’s for the best,” she says, and you agree. Well, a promise ring certainly meant something. It was, essentially, a pre-engagement ring. And the engagement ring that followed was a pre-wedding ring. And a wedding ring was, well, a wedding ring. Your heartbeat thunders at the thought. “You’re busy right now anyway,” she points out, snapping you out of your bumbling thoughts. “Aren’t you getting promoted at work soon?” 

Oh, you certainly were getting promoted at work. After many grueling months of hard work and dedication, the fruits of your labor were finally being recognized. Gone were the days of useless desk work, intern-like errands that barely required the use of any higher-order brain functions. You had worked hard these past few months, proved your worth over and over again, until you were here. Getting promoted into a new branch at your company— one where your talents were actually needed. And truth be told, there was one man to thank for that. 

Your friend and superior, Kim Seokjin. 

Seokjin is a great boss. In fact, you could argue he’s the best in the entire world and that, if it wasn’t for him, you would have quit this job that first month you started. But you had him to push you along, friendly smiles and encouragements that kept you going until this point, where you’re being promoted up into a branch where your degree finally matters. And it was all thanks to him! What Kim Namjoon was to Jungkook, Kim Seokjin was to you. 

So what if he cheated on his wife and flirted with the secretaries— Seokjin was practically a god in your eyes. 

And what Seokjin did in his free time was frankly none of your business anyway. You were colleagues at work, got along fairly well, but outside of work you were practically strangers. He was your beloved work colleague, someone Jungkook teased you about endlessly despite never having met him, and you were immensely thankful for him. “Should I be scared he’ll steal you from me?” Jungkook had joked one night, standing behind you as you scrolled through your company profile page. “He is a little handsome.”

You had pinched his side, smiling at his feigned concern when he pressed his lips to your temple. “You’re right,” you had joked back, “he is sooo cool.” And Jungkook had bitten you on the shoulder, laughed that pretty laugh when you yelped in surprise. 

Anyway, Kim Seokjin was a god, Jungkook was on his way to maybe, hopefully, one day, being your husband, and all was well. 

To honor this moment in time, you decide to swing by Jungkook’s place after your date with Doyeon, finding him lazily sprawled across his living room couch while What’s Wrong with Secretary Kim? plays on the Jumbotron. He’s in between projects right now, so he’s spent most of his time relaxing and catching up on all his favorite shows. 

Which brings you back to that deliberating character flaw of yours: no knowledge of the romantic genre to utilize in your everyday life. Your love language has always been blunt words, teasing jabs, the raw and unfiltered type of love. Emotions? Impossible to figure out. You’ve gotten pretty far in life reading verbal and physical cues; with Jungkook, you always know he’s upset when he does the little tongue-against-cheek thing, and it has saved you from many potential arguments. 

On the other hand, it is so obvious what Jungkook’s love language is when he spends fifty percent of his time on Viki, home to some of the most cheesy kdramas in existence. Most guys spend their weekends watching sports or dramatic action movies, but here was Jungkook. Watching some guy try to court his secretary. 

(Okay, he does watch sports and action movies too, but that’s not the point!)

“Hello, sweet boy,” you greet, plopping down beside him. Jungkook smiles back softly. He’s serving absolute pre-pre-husband deliciousness right now, cute glasses, fluffy curls, plaid bottoms that make him look so comfy. God, you were going to suck his dick tonight. 

Jungkook slots his mouth against yours, tastes like the chocolate cake you specifically told him not to eat without you. He blindsides you before you can scold him, pulls you onto his lap where the swell of his cock nudges against your thigh. Oh, you were definitely going to suck his dick and ride him well into the sunrise. 

“What’s my pretty girl doing here tonight?” he asks, cutely looping his fingers through yours. “Thought you were with the Wicked Witch of the West today?”

You roll your eyes, reposition yourself in a laughable attempt at pretending like you’re actually interested in the show. “We just went out for lunch,” you explain, watching the hot lead saunter across the screen. Juicy ass, but nothing compared to Jungkook’s. 

There’s a question lingering on the tip of your tongue, Doyeon’s explanations mixed with your worries, and you hold it for exactly ten seconds before you’re turning to face him head on, eyes going a little crossed from how close he is. “Hey,” you say bluntly. “Is this a promise ring?” you ask, wiggle your finger in his face. 

Jungkook blinks, once, twice, and then his face shoots up in flames. “Maybe,” he mumbles, lips pursed as he tries to avoid your gaze. He was adorable. You laugh, endeared by the red flush that crawls over his cute little cheeks and up his ears. Unable to stop yourself, you squeeze said cheeks between your hands, cooing at the annoyed expression that consumes him soon afterwards.  

“Aw, you want to marry me,” you tease, but it’s secretly a leading question for him to confess that yes, he does want to marry you. For as hot and confident as you are, you too are plagued with doubts. Doubts that can only be smoothed over by hearing it straight from Jungkook’s mouth. 

He rolls his eyes, trying to break free from your hold. “We’ve talked about this,” he murmurs, all embarrassed. But like always, Jungkook knows exactly what you want so he doesn’t deny it, and that’s good enough for you. He’s too flustered to look you in the eye now, childishly craning his head away from you when you try to force him into a staring contest. “Can I finish my show?” he whines, slightly not as hard now that you’ve reduced him into a shy, bumbling mess. It was a nice change of pace from his usual, composed self. 

But you relent, sliding off his lap to sit against his side, classic octopus hug around his waist. The episode is in full swing, not that you know anything about it. Like you said, romantic shows and movies were the least of your concerns. Jungkook, however, eats this type of shit up. “He still trying to fuck her?” you ask, not the least bit interested, but if you’re planning on sucking his dick tonight you have to listen to a few minutes of him rambling first. 

Jungkook sighs. “Yeah,” he says, “I don’t get it.” You hum, trail your hand over his abdomen teasingly. He feels so warm and lean beneath your palm, you were getting hot just thinking about it. “Why would anyone agree to dating their boss?”

You know that Jungkook’s boss is some old Facebook fart, pioneer of something on the site that neither of you two care about. So it makes sense that such a notion disturbs him. You shrug anyway. “Everyone wants to sleep with their hot boss,” you offer. “It’s like, the power dynamic, I guess.”

His frown deepens. “Would you?” Your boss isn’t exactly an old fart; the reason Kim Seokjin was such a renowned playboy is because, well, he had the looks to pull it off. Still, he had become a sort of respectable figure to you and the idea of sleeping with him doesn’t really sound appealing as much as it would to any other random bachelorette, which you admittedly were not. You glance at the screen, where Park Seojoon swaggers around in those tight slacks and fitted button-ups. 

“Hm,” you ponder, “maybe.” 

Jungkook laughs. “You’re supposed to say no, you idiot,” he says, knocks his forehead against yours softly. You can’t help but chuckle too, enamored with the happy glint in his eyes and the way his smile eats up his features. 

Oh, you loved this man. 

Because he was so sweet and good on Christmas, you let Jungkook make the plans for Valentine’s Day. After all, it’s his favorite holiday (“Why? Well, because it’s a day all about you, and me, and us,” he had sighed dreamily in the bathtub one night, hair adorably pushed back to showcase that handsome face of his. Bubbles clung to his chest, had made you dizzy with every breath he took.), so it’s only right that he gets to make the itinerary for the day, fill it with all his favorite things. After all, cheesy romantic stuff like this was right up his lane. 

He reserves a spot at the fanciest restaurant in the city, the one that has a months long waiting list. It sounds perfect, and the closer it gets to February 13th, the more excited you become. You say 13th because the 14th is a Sunday, and as much as you would love to get on your knees and praise Jungkook’s body until the wee hours of the next day, you have work. So Sunday is off the table. And it’s better this way, you tell yourself. Everywhere would have been packed that day anyway. 

It seems like everywhere you go, the entire world is gearing up for the holiday; from the fast food drive-thru to your favorite lingerie shop, there’s Valentine’s Day specials everywhere you look. Just like in those Viki dramas Jungkook likes, the world around you is enveloped in shades of pink and red, kisses and hearts, so many goddamn roses it makes you sneeze. It’s absolutely perfect— nothing could possibly go wrong when there’s so much love in the air. 

But what good is a lovey-dovey holiday without your own lovey dove himself? 

One glance out your window and your knees feel weak, because there he is. Dressed in a loose satin button up, shoulders broad, chest defined. He’s got on these fitted dress pants that accentuate his tiny waist too, thick thighs bulging beneath the fabric. There’s a coat hugging his frame, something to shield him from the cold while he waits out on the curb, does this cute little shivering dance in an attempt to warm up his muscles. Your heart feels like it’ll explode at the sight, and you can practically hear the corny, overused romantic song playing in the background of your thoughts, so you hurriedly distract yourself by slipping tonight’s dress on. 

It’s cold outside, but the sight of Jungkook makes you feel warm and fuzzy everywhere. He’s so hot it makes you dizzy, and the sap knows it when he meets you on the sidewalk. Instinctively, his hand reaches out to tangle with yours, the other slipping around your waist. “Hi, gorgeous,” he greets playfully, kissing your knuckles. His hair has grown out a little, curls up cutely when he lets it air dry and tickles your skin when he gets too close. “Lookin’ like Secretary Kim.” 

“Oh? So does that make you my hot boss?” you tease as you make your way to the car. 

As always, he opens the door for you first, flashes you this dorky little wink as he rounds the front of the car. “If it means you’ll sleep with me tonight, then sure,” he says, buckling himself in. You roll your eyes at his claim. You don’t get to see the proud little smile on his face; by the time you’ve composed yourself, he’s already pulling off in the direction of the restaurant. 

It’s a classy thing, a restaurant and bar in some insanely tall skyscraper. Of course your seats are right beside one of the huge floor to ceiling windows, overlooking the beautiful, glittering cityscape. “Fancy,” you murmur as you sit down, catching a glimpse of the eye roll Jungkook gives you. 

“You say that about any place that serves wine,” he chuckles, reaching for the bottle on the table to pour you a glass. 

The wine tastes like perfection, aged for the perfect amount of time. Whatever that was. You don’t really know, but it tastes amazing! Still, amazement aside, you manage a scoff. “I didn’t say that about your house on our first date,” you huff anyway, throwing him a playful glare over the rim of your glass. 

Jungkook laughs, full and real this time. It’s a little too loud for the classy establishment you find yourselves in, drowns out the jazz music for a second. “That’s because it was a house,” he says, wearing that big, shiny smile you adore, “and we were watching Transformers.” An amazing date, the mere memory of it makes your toes curl. He had been so dreamy— nearly two years ago now! —and had retained that aura up to the present day. You don’t think you’ve ever been so in love with anyone or anything in this world before, as cheesy as it was to admit. 

As if sensing your sudden wandering thoughts, Jungkook nudges your ankle under the table. “Hey,” he says so softly you could melt; his voice was so silky and sweet. “Everything okay?” he asks. 

A sigh, chin in your palm. You had to have been abducted by aliens or something— there was no way this was your life, this disgustingly romantic date with this disgustingly handsome man. An episode of Black Mirror maybe? One where you get forced to live in a romantic Viki drama with the man you love, every single day for the rest of your life? Maybe. 

Dramatics aside, you could practically feel that sticky sweet, sentimental monster begging to crawl to the surface, unleash the entire Shakespearean collection of lovesick sonnets on your unsuspecting boyfriend in the middle of this restaurant. But the weird ones, were you accidentally dedicate an entire six lines to the bulge of Jungkook’s thighs in his workout pants or the heart-shaped mole on his shoulder. Those kind. Before that can happen, you settle on an equally as gentle, “I love you,” murmured for only him to hear. 

Across the table, Jungkook smiles. One of those thin ones when he’s trying to keep his composure but is actually quite flustered, his subtle bunny teeth nibbling at his lower lip. “Thanks,” he responds, still trying to play it cool, but then he almost knocks his glass down and you’re reminded just how perfect he was, flaws and all. “Me too.”

You jab the pointed tip of your stiletto against his shin. “Say it back,” you warn and he laughs. 

“I love you,” Jungkook says like it’s the easiest thing in the world. Straight out of a romantic drama, like the ones on Viki that require a minimum of four different story arcs just to get to this point. But with Jungkook, it takes a few shy smiles and maybe a kiss. It has a scorching heat rising on your cheeks, one you ward away with a hurried sip of your drink while Jungkook reaches for your hand, thumb rubbing over your promise ring as if for good luck. 

That singular phrase makes your world pause, its axis stalling while you deal with the overwhelmingly soft and gooey feelings in your chest. Oh jeez, you had to rock his world tonight. It was only right. He deserved it for making you feel like this— this silly and ditzy, like a middle schooler with her crush. 

Anyway the food gets to your table after a millennia. Jungkook orders some fancy lobster dish, one that you're pretty sure costs more than the purse you brought along tonight (to be fair, you’re a cheap buyer), and still has the audacity to poke around at your plate too. He eats enough to feed a schoolhouse full of children who’ve just come off recess, practically devouring the table cloth before you stop him. And then he doesn’t let you see the bill; “baby, don’t worry about that when you’re with me,” he purrs, warm breath fanning against the skin on your neck, drunk off pure love and strawberry lemonade because he was driving tonight. The hostess is a blushing mess, fumbling for his change as Jungkook practically gropes your ass in plain sight.

You swear he’s spending too much time on that Viki streaming service, because then, as if the romantic dinner date wasn’t enough, he whisks you off to an even more romantic walk along the river. 

If there was ever a world record for “Number of Times you can Make your Girlfriend Swoon,” you’re positive Jungkook had broken it in the span of a few hours. You feel so light-headed and in love by the time you reach the river. 

“You know,” you tell him as you walk, the serene sounds of the flowing water beside you the soundtrack to your date. Jungkook swings your joined hands between the two of you. It’s chilly but you’re so full and happy that you don’t let it bother you. “I was gonna throw wine at you when we first met.”

He cackles, that loud, airy sound again that he only lets you hear, with his head thrown back. “What?” he gasps, smiley and pretty, your pretty boy. “And why were you going to do that?”

You huff, feeling slightly embarrassed now to admit such a thing. But aside from Doyeon, no one else has ever heard this classified tale. And well, you’re feeling extra emotional tonight. An abundance of emotions in one night usually ended with you crying like a little bitch at some point or another, so you’re trying to push that off for later. “Because,” you sigh, squeezing his fingers, your lone promise ring versus his assortment of fashionable rings. “You sounded like an absolute fuck boy when you first texted me!” 

Jungkook scoffs, playfully scandalized. “Me?” he squawks, pausing to stand in front of you with wide eyes and a ridiculously huge smile, the kind that has his brows raised high, lips going thin, practically displaying every tooth in his mouth from how wide it is. 

“Jungkook,” you say calmly, shoving one finger against his chest. “You asked me to Netflix & chill for our first date.” 

He groans, using your entwined hands to pull you into his arms for a suffocating hug. “I already told you,” he laughs, patting the back of your head while you get in a few lighthearted punches against his sides. “I didn’t know what it meant.” 

“Whatever, you sleaze,” you say anyway, eventually melting into his hands. “Bet you tell all the girls that.” Jungkook makes another scandalized noise, but settles when you wrap your hands around him. He smells so good and familiar, comforting even. Like home and safety, a refuge for your heart. When you’re this close, you can hear the light beating of it beneath your ear, a steady rhythm that has you closing your eyes when he begins humming your favorite song. 

He gets about two verses in when your phone suddenly goes off. 

Everything in your body says to ignore it, to continue basking in the comfort of your boyfriend’s embrace and this absolutely perfect moment. But it’s the stupid ringtone you set for all your work peers when you first loaded the entire company contact list onto your phone, so the sound alone lets you know it’s a work-related call. And for work to be calling you on a weekend was definitely not a good sign. 

“Give me a sec,” you tell Jungkook, pulling away from his arms. He frowns but lets you go, staying close as you dig through your purse for the offending device. 

It’s Kim Seokjin calling at this peculiar hour, a fact that confuses the hell out of you. Jungkook’s bouncing on his heels in an attempt to fight off the chill, giving you his beautiful side profile as he glances down the winding sidewalk that follows the river, and then at his watch. His nose is a cute red color that you want to kiss so bad. But work calls, so you tighten up and let that dream go for now. You swipe your thumb across the screen. 

“Hello, Mr. Kim,” you greet, trying to keep the confusion out of your voice. “How can I help—“

“__, my love,” he beams through the phone, so fucking loud it has Jungkook glancing over curiously. You give him a tight-lipped smile, one he returns as he shuffles closer, trying to steal your warmth like a penguin. You let him snuggle close before turning back to the droning voice of your superior on the line. 

“Hello,” you repeat again, slowly. Jungkook takes your free hand in his; when he squeezes, the band of your promise ring digs into your skin just the slightest. “Was something the matter?” 

Seokjin laughs, loud and clear. There’s a lot of other noises filtering in through his line. Briefly, you remember that there had been some work-related party for the higher ups tonight so you write it off as that. “Does there need to be a problem for me to call you, love?” 

You falter. Beside you, Jungkook’s brows furrow together, his devilishly handsome features even more pronounced. He’s obviously heard the other man on the line. “Um,” you flounder for a second, “well, usually yes.” 

Without missing a beat, Seokjin carries on with a playful tut that you’re almost certain has him lifting the receiver up to his mouth, because it’s so goddamn loud it has you flinching away from your own device. “My __,” he says, sweet and… slurred? 

He’s never used this tone of voice on you, only on other women at the office. Something about his broken marriage and needing to heal a wound, you don’t fucking know. You can’t even begin to truly understand that logic, which is why you’ve always just ignored it. Still, in the last few months of knowing Seokjin, he has never made a pass at you. Until now, that is. And until now, you had kind of convinced yourself he saw you in a sisterly way. Which sure, was worse than being friendzoned. But this was your boss you were talking about. Whether you got sister-zoned or not by him was the least of your concerns. So what was going on? What had changed over the span of a few days that had him suddenly reaching out to you on a weekend? 

Beside you, Jungkook doesn’t look the slightest bit impressed, tongue prodding against his cheek as Seokjin rambles on the line. You wish you had lowered the volume before answering, but doing so now would appear suspicious, even you could admit that. “You’re amazing, you know that?” Seokjin praises. You nod, remember he can’t see you, and settle on a blunt thanks instead. Jin laughs. “You’re different from the rest,” he hums, voice soft and weirdly intimate. 

Jungkook’s frown deepens. “What does he want?” he murmurs, somehow managing to keep his voice calm as always. The deep furrow of his brows and the tongue-against-cheek motion he had done just a few seconds ago all indicate he’s annoyed, that much you can tell. 

You shrug, eyes wide as you hurry to get to the reason for the phone call. You’re almost certain it’s just Seokjin being drunk— many people drunkenly dial their friends and family to tell them how much they’re appreciated, this wasn’t anything weird! 

Is what you try to convince yourself, but then Seokjin’s voice is dropping an octave by your ear. “Did you get my gift?” he murmurs, voice nearly drowned out by the sounds of the event he’s at. 

“Huh?” you stammer, quite stupidly if you do say so yourself. Jungkook shifts closer, obviously trying to hear. A breeze ruffles his hair, his cologne wafting over you. “What?” 

A sigh over the line. “My gift, love,” Kim Seokjin says, loud and proud. Jungkook exhales, hard. “I had it sent to your house this evening. Something pretty for a pretty girl— don’t tell me the postman fucked that up,” he jokes and Jungkook huffs, practically breathing fire through his nose when he hears the words. 

You fidget. There had been no gift when Jungkook picked you up around sunset, not like you had expected anything to begin with. And aside from Jungkook and maybe your parents, there was no one else on this planet you wanted to receive a Valentine’s Day gift from anyway, especially not from your boss of all people. “Um,” you mumble, acutely aware of the way Jungkook’s face is nearly pressed to yours now in his effort to listen in on your phone call. “I— um, haven’t been home, Seokjin.”

Jungkook scoffs, spits out a particularly unimpressed, “Seokjin?” 

Said man doesn’t hear. “Oh, of course,” he says, almost sullenly. “I forgot you had that little boyfriend to entertain tonight.” 

It’s the breaking point for Jungkook, who leans back to glare at the phone with the heat of a thousand suns. You press it against your chest before he can hear anything else. “I’m sorry,” you rush out in a hurried whisper, eyes flickering over his face, trying to gauge the intensity of his emotions. “I think he’s drunk— he’s never said things to me like this before,” you stammer, feeling like you have to defend yourself for some reason. “I’ll- I’ll take care of it, okay?” No answer, just an aggravated shake of his head, like he’s trying to calm himself down. “Jungkook?” you say, can feel the panic begin to lace your voice when his eyes flutter shut. 

He calms your worries with a gentle head butt that has you gasping in surprise, one hard exhale fanning over you. “Okay,” he says, teeth clenched. “I’m gonna go sit.” And then he stiffly walks over to one of the many benches lining the pathway. He sits, just like he had said he would, and glares down at his hands instead. 

The sight makes you anxious, unsure of how to diffuse the situation because, like you’ve said many times before, dealing with emotions— especially someone else’s emotions —was hard. Your eyes refuse to leave his figure as you draw the phone back up to your ear again. “Hello?” you call, voice trembling when Jungkook finally looks your way. The soft look he had given you all night is nowhere to be found, replaced with this rather unreadable expression. Something between annoyance and confusion if you had to guess. You don’t know, and the fact you don’t know makes you panic. Your chest feels tight when Seokjin begins speaking again. 

“You know,” he says, “you’re quite something, __. Strong, confident. Beautiful.” Had you been anyone else, you might have been flattered by Kim Seokjin’s remarks, maybe would have swooned. He was, objectively speaking, a handsome man with a hefty bank account. 

But if that was the criteria for a man to make you swoon, then the man on the bench in front of you checked all the same boxes three times over. The man who’s brows draw closer and closer together the longer you linger on the phone. Jungkook’s foot does one agonizing tap against the concrete and you find yourself stammering into the phone. “I think you’re drunk, Jin.”

A scoff. “I am,” he agrees, and doesn't even bother to hide it. “But you remind me of her, you know that? I like that.”

It’s like he knows something is going on on the line, because Jungkook visibly bristles when you sidestep in surprise. What was going on, your brain screams. Having your superior compare you to his infidel wife was definitely not something you saw coming tonight. “Uh, okay?” you say, “listen, Seokjin— Mr. Kim, I’m... I have a boyfriend. And I really lov—“

He cuts you off. Jungkook bristles at the sudden stop of your sentence. “Yeah, yeah,” Seokjin drawls, and you can feel the sheer terror of accidentally jeopardizing your relationship with Jungkook step aside for the briefest moment to allow some annoyance to seep through. Annoyed with Seokjin and his audacity, his tone, his voice. “Mrs. Kim used to say that about me,” he chuckles humorlessly, “I love you, I love you, I love you.” A long pause. You’re unsure of how to respond. “It’s not real,” Seokjin says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the entire world. “Love, that is.”

You clench your jaw, gathering your thoughts to respond when Seokjin beats you to it. “But you know what, love?” You don’t respond. Seokjin pushes on anyway. “Someone’s gonna cheat sooner or later— why not beat him to it?” 

Your body reacts first, a startled gasp inhaled through your lips at his disrespectful preposition. Your phone slips out of your grasp. It bounces twice, lands on the ledge that gives way to the river, and you almost kick it in when Jungkook comes up behind you. “Hey, hey,” he says sternly, tugging you away from the phone you almost killed. “What’s wrong— what did he say?”

You exhale, face warm from the discomfort sitting heavy in your chest. “Nothing,” you huff, mind slightly foggy as you try to process that awkward conversation. “It’s— it was stupid,” you spit, pressing the heels of your palms against your temples, the raging anger and confusion making your head pound now. 

You had always known Kim Seokjin wasn’t the most faithful man, that the infidelity ran both ways in his relationship. But you had never imagined he would ever compare you to her, his cheating wife, in an attempt to win you over. Furthermore, you’re downright disturbed by the fact he would even try to hit on you after all the mentoring he’d given you, all the polite smiles he’d flashed you, all the praise you had bestowed upon him to Jungkook. 

Jungkook, whose jaw twitches as his hands graze your forearms. When you look at him again, you feel an immense wave of remorse wash over you at the way his own irritation is clouded by his worry for you. He had been wronged as well— disrespected just like you —but here he was, pushing his own emotions aside for your sake. He doesn’t want to see you upset. He was so good at dealing with your emotions, knew just what to do when things became too much. 

“I’m sorry,” you mumble, lips pursed together. “I don’t know why— he’s never— I wouldn’t do that,” you settle on, voice wobbling when Jungkook’s jaw clenches. “Jungkook,” you frown, reaching for his hands, “I wouldn’t—“ 

He shushes you with another one of those gentle forehead bumps. “Calm down,” he says, voice deeper than usual. “I know you wouldn’t.” 

Weirdly, it feels like you’ve committed a grave sin against your boyfriend. A crime. “I’m sorry,” you blubber anyway, heart thundering in your chest. “That was horrible,” you huff, desperately blinking away the stinging sensation behind your eyes. “You didn’t deserve to hear that.”

“Don’t cry,” Jungkook says, so soft and comforting; stable. You want his composure, his ability to process and understand things so quickly— his maturity. Sure he had been put off by Seokjin, but he had processed it all so quickly; adapted to the situation and stepped in to save you. Meanwhile, you nearly committed cellular murder because you couldn’t handle yourself. “He’s a weirdo,” he says, for both your sakes. “You didn’t do anything wrong, sweetheart.” 

Still, you sniffle. “I’m sorry,” you say again, the heavy feeling in your chest lightening just a little bit when he pulls you into his arms. 

“Crybaby,” he teases softly, a kiss on the crown of your head. You pinch his side. “Second phone you broke in a year.”

The mood for the riverwalk is off after that, and you only walk a few more meters before Jungkook decides it’s enough. “We can still enjoy ourselves at home,” he reassures you, and the way he tries to salvage that soft, fuzzy feeling from before is admirable. So Jungkook takes you home, holds your hand the whole drive back to your place, like he knows you’re still fragile from that extremely uncomfortable interaction, need him to hold you together. Jungkook’s emotional stability guards you like a shield, covers you in a wave of comfort as you calm down. You tell him about Seokjin’s preposition and he bristles. “Prick,” he murmurs beneath his breath, grip tightening just the tiniest bit. Your ring pinches against your skin a little painfully, but you say nothing. 

There’s a box of flowers on your doorstep when you arrive, one that makes Jungkook pause at the sight. “Wonderful,” he drones, picking it up for you as you unlock the front door. It gets left on the coffee table, practically mocking the two of you as you remove your shoes and coats. “That’s your favorite flower,” Jungkook notes. 

You glance at the expensive bouquet. “It is.” 

Jungkook drops down onto your couch, eyes flickering to the meticulous arrangement in front of him. “You told him?” Not really. But back when you had thought Jungkook and you were engaged (read: last week), you had spent days looking at different floral shops that specialized in this flower, frequently leaving the tab open on your work computer. Seokjin must have seen it then. At your extended silence, Jungkook says, “nice.”

You frown, setting your heels on the shoe rack. “Baby, I didn’t,” you tell him softly, reaching for the zip on the back of your dress. It comes down, and after clearing your hips, it falls to the floor in a dark heap you pick up quickly. It leaves you scantily clad in a black lingerie set. Meanwhile, Jungkook drops his head back, glaring at your ceiling. Tentatively, you step over to him, toying with the fabric of your dress in your hands. “You said it was okay.”

“I know,” he sighs, an unexpected confession from him that makes you pause. Despite all you’ve been through, he still rarely highlighted situations that upset him. “It’s just,” he says, turning his head to look at your form again, eyes not drinking you in like you hoped he would. “It’s scary.”

The couch cushion dips beneath your weight when you settle beside him. “What is?”

Jungkook shrugs, avoiding your question by reaching for the TV remote on the coffee table, right beside the box of flowers Seokjin had sent. He opens up the Viki app in a flash— the one linked to his account —and has even loaded up the next episode of Secretary Kim when you question him again. “What’s scary, Jungkook?” you repeat. 

On screen, there’s a beautiful scene on a bridge, the two leads happily conversing. It’s serene, something neither you nor Jungkook feel at the moment. 

Eventually, he says, “you could leave.”

You pause. “What do you mean?” Leave? Where on earth would you leave to when this was your home? He doesn’t meet your gaze. 

Another scene passes by on screen, some cheesy line and an even cheesier promise. Jungkook’s foot taps against the floor, the sound dull against the plush rug beneath you. It’s a nervous tick you’ve only seen him do at the height of truly stressful situations. Weird because just half an hour before you had dubbed him as the epitome of calm and collected at the river. 

“I thought he was cool before.” 

He did. But the word ‘cool’ didn’t always have the same meaning for Jungkook as it did for you. 

In the past, Jungkook had frequently joked about having to meet Kim Seokjin and thank him for all the help he’s given you at work. After all, up until now, you had only ever had good things to say about the man, raving about his cool demeanor and respectable work ethics. Now, the memories paired with the conversation from earlier leave a bad taste in your mouth. 

You’re a little confused with Jungkook right now; part of you had convinced yourself that whatever happened on the phone earlier with Seokjin was put behind you, marked off as an anomaly in the evening. After all, Jungkook himself had said it was okay. Park Seojoon appears on screen, and you can’t help but glare at the character, residue emotions from the river pushed off onto this innocent actor. 

Still, Jungkook surprises you. “It’s just that—“ he sighs. And then, “what if you leave?” 

You blink, eyes trained on his side profile and the way he’s nervously chewing through his bottom lip until it tints a red shade, gives way to sensitive skin when he bites too hard. “Why would I leave?” 

He says nothing. On screen, Park Seojoon says something so cheesy and romantic that it would have otherwise made you cringe, made Jungkook soft. But he’s stiff as a board beside you instead. You almost think he’s going to disregard the entire conversation when he finally speaks again. “Well.” You perk up at the sound of his voice, overly aware of the way he’s started picking at the skin around his thumb again, another nasty habit you’ve been trying to help him get over. “He’s cool. Rich.”

“And so are you,” you offer, covering his hand with your own. 

Jungkook ignores you, releasing a long, shaky exhale. Somehow, he’s exuding a similar energy as before; discontentment mixed with understanding. Like he’s greatly conflicted but forcing himself to remain calm. Another trembling inhale, and then Jungkook quietly recites, “everyone wants to sleep with their hot boss.” 

You recoil just the slightest, brows pinched together at the absurd conclusion he’s drawn. “Baby, that was just a silly conversation,” you say slowly, slipping your hand into his. He squeezes so tight you’re afraid he’ll break your bones. “And we were joking—“

“I know!” he exclaims, enveloping your significantly smaller hand in both of his before bringing them up to his face, lips pressed against your knuckles. It’s not a kiss, more so a desperate need to feel you against him. Eyes wide, you can’t do anything but watch as that collected exterior slips away, revealing a whirlwind mess of emotions. It’s a rather unexpected show from Jungkook. “It was a joke. We were joking. But I’m—“ his jaw clenches. His voice is so tiny when he speaks again. “I get scared sometimes, __.” 

His emotional outburst renders you speechless, watching as he squeezes his eyes shut, jaw clenching, hands trembling. 

It’s a stark image change from the cool Jungkook that had comforted you at the river, had patted the back of your head when you had been so distraught. His chest heaves for air and you don’t know what to do; it’s always the other way around, him comforting you, that when it comes down to this you find yourself at a loss. It makes you feel like you don’t know enough about yourself or him or your relationship in general to help him, always so lost when things like this happen. 

Jungkook has never been good at expressing negative emotions, always preferring to bottle them up and only show you his very best side. Granted, he’s been getting better at letting go lately, has whispered his doubts to you in the dead of night after a particularly grueling project, an uncomfortable social meeting. But he always waits until you’re half asleep and in the dark to tell you how he feels, hushed worries that you barely remember the next morning. And by then, Jungkook’s moved on from them anyway, flashes you a pretty smile and purposefully guides you away from that conversation. You know he’s started keeping a journal recently, but aside from seeing the blanks pages when he’d first gotten, you don’t have a clue what happened afterwards. It’s probably hidden away somewhere, his feelings locked up in a cupboard or a box, the secrets it holds never to be spoken of aloud. 

He doesn’t like talking about his more personal problems, hoards them until you’re forced to intervene. Find him slumped over at his dining table with bags under his eyes, the skin on his lower lip bitten beyond belief. 

Rarely does he sit down and express himself like this, lays his heart out carefully for you to see. Had he not said so right now, you would have never known Jungkook struggled with such doubts about you and your relationship. 

(It makes your heart ache at the realization.) 

Jungkook always acts like everything is okay, always forces himself to hold it together for the sake of you and, quite frankly, everyone else. He’s there when Taehyung breaks up with his girlfriends, pats him on the back and lets him run through every video game he has on his PS5. He’s there for Namjoon when his thesis becomes too much, proofreads it even though he doesn’t understand a word just for the sake of giving his best friend another perspective. Hell, he had even been there for Doyeon when her new landlord had tried to overcharge her, had carried the bulk of your argument when you ran off to try and fight with the old man. 

(“He’s too nice sometimes,” she had murmured the next morning at her place. After the shouting match the night before, you had crashed with Doyeon on her new bed, your sweet boyfriend taking up her couch. Somehow, you and Jungkook had managed to knock a clean seventy-five bucks off her monthly bill. It wasn’t much, but for an apartment in the city it sure felt like a lot. 

You had hummed, patting the top of his head on the way to the kitchen. “He’s a good boy,” you had said, heart thrumming when he instinctively pushed closer to your hand, nuzzling into you even in his sleep. “He cares about everyone a lot. Worries to death about his friends.”

The state of their relationship was weird; they were always fighting about one thing or another, ‘eternal enemies’ as Doyeon liked to claim. 

But for the first time, she hadn’t denied they were, in fact, friends. Instead, she had quietly stood at the breakfast nook overlooking the living room with a somber look on her face that was completely unlike the Doyeon you knew. She didn’t respond with her usual backhanded compliments, didn’t even call him a gremlin either. 

“He even worries about you, Miss Wicked Witch of the West,” you had teased, reaching over to pull Jungkook’s shirt down where it had ridden up, exposing his cute belly button to the cold apartment. She had sipped at her mug of coffee, eyes foggy and distant. “It just takes him a while.” 

“He’s always cared about you though,” she had murmured then, and you had marked it off as her being half asleep. But Doyeon had given you this look, a look so profoundly wise, as if she was saying, “more than you’ll ever know.”) 

Most importantly, Jungkook is always there for you. He holds you in his arms, strokes your back comfortingly whenever something goes wrong. Listens to your concerns and offers you advice, learns new things for the sole purpose of helping you out. Lets you make stupid decisions and always saves you at the last minute. And you want to repay him for all that, want to look after Jungkook like he does for everyone else. But it’s hard, it’s so fucking hard, when he doesn’t let you in, when he holds his emotions at bay for the sake of protecting yours. When you don’t even know where to start sometimes. 

The beating of your heart is accompanied by a dramatic orchestral ensemble on screen, violins and flutes as the two lovers reconcile some issue with a kiss. Beside you, your own lover is one second away from falling apart. “Hey,” you say quietly, slipping your hand out of his to hesitantly place on his back instead. With your release, Jungkook uses his empty hands to drag over his face, hide himself from you. “I’m not going to leave you, Jungkook,” you try and comfort, “I love you.” 

He shakes his head, dark locks bouncing around. “I know, I know,” he sighs, but it doesn’t sound like he believes you. It sounds like he’s forcing himself into composure again, jaw flexing as he shakes his head. “But— what if—” another aggravated huff, his thighs jumping anxiously. “You’ll get bored.” Not a question, but a statement. 

“Of you?” you ask anyway. He nods. “I won’t.”

He sits up so suddenly you have to move away to avoid bumping into him. “You will,” he urges, finally looking at you, distress painted over every inch of his face. “That guy, that Seokjin, he sounds more interesting than me. He sounds cool and put together, like the world is his oyster and,” he rubs the heels of his hands against his eyes. “You talk about him sometimes and... and you call him a god, __,” he stresses, doesn’t leave room for you to object. “And I know you’re joking, but—“ a sharp inhale, and then, quietly, “everyone gets bored of me, __.” 

Your frown deepens. “But I won’t,” you argue, confident in your claim, shifting onto your knees beside him. Your dress is thrown over the armrest of the couch, and the draft in your apartment makes goosebumps rise on your bare flesh. “You’re not boring, Jungkook,” you tell him, voice softening when his features pinch up, nose wrinkling as he wards off the stinging behind his eyes. 

It’s teenage trauma. Jungkook had told you at least that much before, this crippling sense of loneliness and an inferiority complex that hindered him during an influential growth period of his life. It’s why he’s so quiet when he has so much to say, why he brings you along to every party he gets invited to; he’s never felt like he was enough by himself. 

Sometimes, it leaks into his confessions. “I don’t deserve you,” he says frequently, but some days you want to hot glue him to a chair and force him to listen to every reason why he does and always will deserve you or anyone for that matter. “You make me better,” he claims, but he does that all on his own, lights up the world with his smile alone. 

He’s gotten better, that much you’ve learned from Namjoon and Taehyung. And even you’ve noticed it on your own, watched as he animatedly talked with his friends and his coworkers, drew people naturally to him with his warm aura. 

Even still, there’s moments where he relapses. Moments like this. 

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs beside you, “I know I’m a handful—“

“You’re not,” you interrupt, cupping his soft cheek in your hand, turning him to face you. Jungkook leans into the touch, and your heart breaks in half when a tear escapes over his waterline, pretty eyes brimming with tears. “You’re not a handful, Jungkook,” you tell him, shuffling closer until you can press your forehead against his. The truth is, you don’t know how to comfort him, but this is how he’s always comforted you; it feels nice when he does it for you. “You’re just enough,” you say, voice soft because it feels like your precious boy is about to fall apart in your arms, his shallow breaths rivaling the volume of the television. “You’ve always been enough.” 

He sniffles, and another tear tickles the side of your thumb, catching the light. “I’m sorry,” he repeats anyway, a disbelieving chuckle tacked on at the end. 

“Don’t be,” you shush, pushing away a strand of hair when he leans closer. His frown is still prominent, pink lips red and soft under your thumb when you tap your finger against them. “You can tell me when things worry you, you know,” you inform him, heart swelling when his eyes fall shut and he leans into your touch. He’s so handsome, the cute little mole beneath his lip begging to be kissed. “I’ll always listen.”

Jungkook hums, breathing evening out. “I know you will,” he says. “But I like listening to your voice more, and I can’t do that when I’m talking.” 

You snort and Jungkook finally lets a tiny smile slip. “Don’t flirt with me so soon after your meltdown,” you mumble, kissing his cheek softly. 

Jungkook chuckles, real this time, and sniffles right afterwards. “I’ll flirt with you whenever I want.” And, because he’s just so full of surprises tonight, he sniffles once more before he’s unceremoniously tackling you back onto the couch. You squeal, the TV remote digging into your back painfully. It has the volume accidentally skyrocketing, startling the both of you with an ear-shattering orchestral piece at the height of some emotional scene. Jungkook scrambles to free the device and lower the volume before your eardrums burst. “I didn’t even know your TV could go that loud,” he says, and he’s speaking normally but the deafening violins are still reverberating in your head, making him sound quieter than he really is. 

“Come here,” you say instead, and he obeys, crawling into your arms, mouth hovering just over yours. “You feeling better?”

Jungkook nods, dark hair bouncing. “You make me better,” he tries, but after tonight’s realization, you respond to his corny words with a pinch against his doughy cheek instead. 

“Don’t say that,” you frown, toying with one of the earrings decorating his ear. The tip of his nose is flushed red, the exertion from crying catching up to him. His lashes are dark, probably feel so heavy with the residual tears that cling to them. 

Jungkook repositions himself, guides your legs around his waist. “Why not? It’s true.” He glances at your mouth. “You make my life better.”

“Wrong,” you say bluntly, brushing his hair back with your hands. “Your own perception and understanding of your experiences makes your life better. I just happen to be in it.” Jungkook looks the tiniest bit surprised at your suddenly logical argument. “Trust me, I saw it in a documentary the other day.” 

At that he laughs, full and loud, pecking your lips once with a sweet smile on his face. “Now I know you’re lying,” he grins, gently nudging his nose against yours. The drama on the TV is but a quiet hum compared to the pounding of your heart in your chest when he looks at you like that. “Because you don’t even like documentaries.” 

You kiss him softly, holding his hair back for him. He tastes a little bit like the chocolate cake he had at the restaurant and the lemonade he drank (he didn’t indulge in the sweet wine with you because he needed to drive). His lips mold perfectly against yours, and he sighs softly when he finally draws back. “But I like you,” you purr. 

Jungkook’s eyes darken, one heavy exhale fanning across the lower half of your face. You readjust the leg around his waist, pull him closer just the slightest bit. “Don’t flirt with me so soon after my meltdown,” he repeats, lips brushing against yours. You chuckle. “You don’t know what that means to me.” You can roughly guess, but that opportunity is taken away when Jungkook slots his mouth against yours, soft lips molding to yours. His tongue swipes across your bottom lip, wastes no time slipping in when you open for him, hot and wet. 

Jungkook’s fingers are just as warm when he trails them up the back of your thigh, pulls you impossibly closer until the buckle on his belt is pressed flush against your mound. A tiny whimper escapes your lips, chest jumping just the slightest from the pressure. It makes Jungkook pull away with an easygoing grin, chocolate eyes half-lidded. “You okay?” he murmurs, breath a little shaky from the kiss. You nod, tangling your fingers behind his head and pulling him in close again. 

He evades your puckered lips, ducking down to press his own against your throat, right beneath your jaw. “Ugh,” you groan, digging your nails into his back through his satin shirt. “I wanted a kiss.”

Jungkook nips at your skin, this tiny gesture that couldn’t hurt even if he tried. “You always want a kiss,” he retorts softly, the quiet smack of his lips filling your ears as he bestows a series of smooches against your skin. And it’s so devastatingly tender how he handles you, like you’re made of glass and will break at a moment’s notice, like he wants to treasure your body for the rest of his—

Jungkook chomps down, hard, and you hiss. “Sit still,” he orders, soothing over the bite with one broad lick of his tongue. 

You whimper. “That hurt.” 

“And it’ll hurt even more if you keep moving,” he warns you, and before you can ask what that even means, he’s leaving another stinging bite just further down. It’s at the midway point of your neck, right in front, and you can feel your heartbeat in your throat when he sucks a painful mark over it. “There,” he says, mostly to himself. “All mine.”

Your legs tighten around him, and you fight down the wave of heat that threatens to consume you when he places one final kiss over the second mark— the hickey. 

Jungkook doesn’t usually leave them. In fact, you can rarely recall a time where he had purposefully gone out of his way to mark you up like this. It was always accidental, always unplanned, because he knew how troublesome it was for you to cover them up for work the next morning. Work, where your coworkers and your bosses and Seokjin could see. 

Brows pinched together, your brain begins to draw a connection, one that Jungkook is soon confirming himself. “Everyone will see that now,” he hums, kissing a trail down your neck. 

Of course. 

You pat the back of his head in amusement, hiding a smile against his soft locks. Before you can say anything more, maybe tease him for being so cute, there’s a hand on your hip that snaps you out of your scheming. Jungkook lifts his head, does that endearing little head shake that pushes his hair out of his eyes, before leaning in for another languid kiss. 

It’s even slower than the first, mostly because he’s a little too preoccupied with running his hands over your body now. It starts at your shoulder, teasingly snaps the strap of your bra as you push your tongue down his throat. Jungkook whimpers, that pretty sound that makes you desperate to hear more. It’s the same sound that he always makes when he wants to be pampered, wants you to kiss his entire body while he lays there and takes it. 

And you’re all too ready to act on it. 

Duty calls and you’re there to answer, tilting his head for him with your hands against his cheeks. He sighs against you, breath trembling as it tickles across your skin. That soft and tender way that makes you melt because he’s just so precious, so dreamy. 

But you’re too caught up in your plotting to remember the hand he’s got on your hip, the one that teases the waistband of your panties with one lone finger. It’s only when Jungkook pulls away from your inviting mouth, his other hand holding you down by your shoulder, that you’re snapped back into reality. His lips are swollen and red, slick from your tongue, and so tantalizingly kissable. He huffs out a breath, eyes flickering over your face. “Can I touch you,” he husks, and gives into the temptation to press a kiss against your jaw. 

“Yes, please,” you shiver, hypnotized by his hungry stare. 

Jungkook wastes no time, pressing another kiss against the bruising mark over your throat that dissolves into a series of lighter smooches he trails down between your breasts. His hands come up to cup your boobs over your bra, giving them one harsh squeeze that has you releasing a long exhale as he moves between the valley and down your tummy, over your belly button. “Open,” he says at your pubic bone, carefully guiding your legs apart until you’re spread wide for him. 

The dark panties you’re wearing tonight— the super expensive ones you had spent an hour measuring your body for the exact sizing —receive one light kiss over the front. “Always so pretty for me,” Jungkook murmurs, tracing one lone finger down the middle. Your stomach contracts when he nudges it against you, the soft material of your panties just barely pushed between your folds. 

As his hand occupies itself with some relatively light foreplay, Jungkook tasks himself with leaving another tingling mark against your skin. This time, it’s on the inside of your thigh. He starts it off slowly, a few littered kisses against the skin until he deems one spot worthy enough and abruptly sinks his teeth into you. “Not so hard,” you whimper, reaching down to bury your hands in his hair. 

Jungkook lets it go, sloppily licking over the area. “You like it hard,” he husks, meeting your gaze as he licks one, long stripe over the tender skin. “Don’t you?” You nod demurely, pressing your knuckles against your lips to hold back a tiny moan from slipping past your lips. 

With that new mark blooming over your skin, Jungkook transfers his attention to your pussy, hidden beneath the soft material of your panties. One finger hooks under the hem, tucking them aside until he can see you in your entirety. “Fuck,” he groans, pressing one light kiss over your clit that makes you inhale sharply, fingers digging into his scalp. Jungkook throws one final glance your way before letting his tongue slip past his lips, the very tip flicking against your clit. 

Your breathing becomes shallow, anticipation building in the pits of your stomach as he slowly but surely begins playing with you. His tongue is so warm and wet, nudges your throbbing clit, nose pressed against your mound. “Mmm,” he moans, eyes fluttering shut as his mouth works wonders. 

“Ah,” you gasp, whiny and high-pitched, when he dips one finger past your wet folds. The entry is seamless, his pointer finger sinking into the velvet walls of your cunt as his tongue swirls against your hardened bud. “Jungkook,” you mewl, knocking your heel against his shoulder. Jungkook huffs, suctions his lips around your clit. The cold metal of the rings he always wears— the duo set from that Chrome Hearts brand he likes so much —presses against the trembling lips of your pussy, makes your back arch when he twists his finger inside of you. 

He’s so precise with his tongue, knows just how long and how hard to lick against your pulsing clit until you’re trembling, thighs quivering. Briefly, he pulls away, flicks his hair to the side in one suave motion that lets you see his dark eyes when he glances back up at you again, covered in a thick sheen of lust that makes them appear almost black as opposed to his usual warm brown. His hands reach for the waistband of your panties, tug them off with one fluid pull. 

“So pretty for me,” he murmurs, the end of his words laced with a slight rasp that makes your hips jump. “All for me,” he says, roughly pushing his finger into you again. The harshness makes your entire body tighten up in surprise, eyes fluttering shut when he slips his middle finger alongside his pointer this time around. 

“Baby, wait,” you whimper, walls fluttering around the two digits. Jungkook leans back in, presses a chaste kiss against your clit that makes your breathing stall as he thrusts his fingers into you. 

He ignores your cries, locks his lips at the juncture where your thigh meets your body, sensitive skin that bruises all too easily when he sucks against it too hard. “Only for me,” he sighs, all pretenses discarded as he begins rapidly and roughly fucking his fingers into you. It’s intense, has your thighs quaking as he speeds them up. 

The coil in your stomach tightens, and you have to bite down on your knuckles to stop the litany of whimpers from slipping past your lips when Jungkook ducks down again. He bypasses your quivering clit, warm tongue licking at the warm, wet folds around his fingers instead. The proximity makes the tip of his round nose brush along the length of your cunt, a sight and sensation that makes you moan, his bangs harshly tugged away from his forehead to give you the perfect view. 

It’s with a particularly hard shove and twist combination of his fingers into your clenching walls that you cum, a gasp caught in your throat as your hips push toward him, chasing the feeling Jungkook bestows upon you. Your breathing is a mess, inhales too short, your exhales inconsistent, as Jungkook slows the speed of his fingers inside of you, lets your cum ooze out around them, coat his fingers and his rings. 

“No,” you cry, watching that look come over his face when he withdraws his hand, the look that usually follows him sucking your cum into his mouth. “Jungkook, you don’t have to do that—” you whine, reaching for his wrist and yanking it towards you. 

Jungkook follows, crawls back up beside you as he chases his own sticky fingers. “It’s mine,” he urges, has this weird look in his eyes you don’t think you’ve ever seen before. And just as quickly as it crosses his features, he’s lurching forward to catch his own fingers in his mouth. It’s lewd, the way his tongue wraps around them, leaves them sleek under the TV glow, tattoos and rings glistening. He has the audacity to moan, eyes fluttering shut as his devious tongue slips down between his fingers, so long and precise. There’s a tiny noise that tears itself from your throat, one that has him flickering his clouded gaze up to you as his fingers are released from between his own lips. “You like that,” he murmurs, wet fingers trailing down your cheek, capturing your chin to turn your face his way completely. 

His tongue is sinful as it slips past your lips again, the tangy taste of yourself clinging to him. His breathing feels hot, suffocating. But his kisses are so good, make your mind go blank. So blank, that the fingers that rub at your clit surprise you completely. “Kook,” you gasp, breaking away from him in surprise. 

Jungkook doesn’t let you get far, capturing your mouth with his again. The two fingers you had felt on your chin are gone, firmly pressed against your swollen clit, experimentally rubbing against it. Never mind the fact you were still sensitive from your first orgasm, thighs quivering when he drags them against the wet, soft skin. It makes you shudder, breaking away from him a second time for a desperately needed inhale of fresh air. Jungkook follows behind closely, pressing kisses over your jawline, your chin, as his fingers continue moving against your clit.

He has them pressed together, rubbing at the front of your slit where that bundle of nerves is hidden. It makes your stomach contract, hips jerking forward into the touch in an effort to match him, to speed up the process. “You were made for me, pretty girl,” Jungkook huffs against your cheek, nose pressed against your skin because he’s just so close, practically molded into your side as his fingers send rhythmic shocks of ecstasy up your spine.

Your mouth drops open, stuttered gasps filtering through your lips as Jungkook takes advantage of your sensitive body to draw out another orgasm. But there’s a weird sensation that builds in your stomach this time, one that brings with it a sense of panic. “Wait—“ you gasp, fisting the silky material of his shirt beneath one clenched fist. “Jungkook,” you warn, toes curling.

He responds with a harsh nip against your lower lip that makes you whimper. “Go ahead,” he purrs, rubbing his fingers over you at an insane speed, one that has your juices sloppily spread over your pussy, makes you buck into him and moan against his mouth. 

The feeling grows, an intense, unfamiliar thing that you rarely recall ever feeling before, gasping for air as Jungkook’s fingers caress your clit, pressing down hard. “Fffuck, fuck,” you sob, mouth opening in a silent scream, eyes rolling backwards as you feel your pussy lips contract harder than ever before, thighs quivering as your juices squirt out of you, lower body reduced to jello as Jungkook quickens his movements, wrists jerking back and forth as your pleasure sprays out of you. “Ju— Jungkook,” you wail, forcefully slamming your thighs shut when he doesn’t stop, the pleasure seemingly never-ending under such a torturous touch. “Stop—stop,” you beg, eyes filling with tears that spill over when his trapped hand manages one final rough rub against your clit accompanied by a final gush of wetness. 

Only then does he stop, leaning back on his knees to drink you in with dark eyes that make you quiver. There’s no trace of his usual post-orgasm cockiness, the smile he’ll flash you, the teasing jabs. Nothing, just a frankly terrifying gaze that has you self-consciously pressing your hands over your chest. 

Jungkook doesn’t take kindly to it, roughly snatching one of your wrists up until you’re sitting up, the traces of your own orgasm present in the damp couch cushions beneath you, inner thighs coated in a thin sheen of your own pleasure. Jungkook leans in close, nose bumping against yours. “You came like that for me,” he says quietly, chest rising and falling with shallow breaths. You nod, eyes wide and teary when he reaches for the front of his shirt, giving it the same treatment he usually gives yours; two hands at the front, yanking it apart until the buttons are torn from their stitches and bouncing across your floor. 

He throws it off to the side, his tan skin highlighted by the cool tones of the television, the dark sleeve of his tattoo especially prominent. The black ink almost looks blue under this light. You’re so distracted by the perfect swirls and doodles on Jungkook’s skin that you don’t realize that same hand is reaching for you until it’s too late, long fingers wrapping around your throat to jerk you forward, head tipping back to look up at him. “Say it, sweet girl,” he murmurs, eyes half-lidded. “Tell me you’re mine.”

The fingers around your throat squeeze once and then slowly begin tightening. You gasp, meeting his hooded gaze with yours, lips quivering for a response that’s stuck in your throat, trapped by your own surprise and tightening airways. Frantically, you reach for his wrists with both hands, not to pull Jungkook’s hand away, but to ground yourself from the hazy cloud of lust the moment evokes. 

Still, your body isn’t as strong as you thought, and once Jungkook reaches a certain tightness around your throat you find yourself coughing. Instantly, he loosens his grip. But not too much. “I- I’m yours,” you rasp out, gasping for air. 

For now, it satisfies Jungkook enough for him to release you. And while you’re grateful for the rush of fresh air that fills your lungs, the phantom ghost of his grip around your throat sends a new gush of wetness between your thighs. One that grows tenfold when Jungkook reaches for his belt, undoes it easily. It comes off with one fluid motion, carelessly shucked off to the side as his attention moves to the front of his pants instead. 

He doesn’t let you sit around uselessly. “On your knees,” he says, so quietly you almost don’t hear it. “Sit on your knees facing the table.”

You blink slowly, the dry tears on your cheeks leaving stiff trails against your makeup. It takes a moment for your brain to process his request, one long second that has Jungkook pausing in his movements, leveling you with one solemn glare that eventually has you springing into action. You hastily slip off the couch, shuffling toward the coffee table between it and the television. The rug is soft beneath your knees, a luxury you can’t enjoy to the fullest because there’s a ball of excitement and fear stuck in your throat. (Right beneath your bruised skin and recuperating windpipes.) Sitting back on your calves, it feels like every nerve is standing stiff as you await his instructions. 

“Bra off,” Jungkook says from behind you, and you’re startled by the sudden ripping of stitches behind you, almost turning to look at him. He stops you with one hand around the back of your neck, drawing a surprised gasp from you. “Sit still,” he commands, your back stiff straight, eyes focused on the screen. After a beat, Jungkook lets you go, pats the back of your head gingerly. “Good girl.”

A whimper catches in your throat at the praise, and you barely manage to bite down on it in time, hurriedly reaching behind you. Your hands fidget over the clasps on your bra, and you nearly jump out of your skin when one lone finger traces down your spine, undoing your bra for you. You don’t know why, but you say, “thank you.”

The television changes scenes in front of you, the bright colors a stark contrast to the darkness of Jungkook’s eyes. Your hands tremble in front of you, fingers anxiously tangling with each other. A few inches beside you, there’s a dark red box filled with the flowers from—

Suddenly, your vision goes dark, hands instinctively reaching up to your eyes. The pads of your fingers come in contact with a soft material, smooth and silky. Just like— “Is this… ?” you murmur, hands sliding across the makeshift blindfold Jungkook’s made for you, the same texture as his shirt had been. 

He doesn’t grace you with an answer, just a hand against your hip as he, presumably, settles behind you. “Does it matter?” Jungkook says instead, voice all too close to your ear. Your entire body locks up, hands quickly returning to their spot against the coffee table. 

Just as you’d suspected, Jungkook is all too close now, hands crawling over your body. They start at your waist, massage the skin tenderly, lovingly, before gliding up to cup your breasts. You shiver, a quiet exhale escaping you as Jungkook rubs his palms over your boobs, trapping your stiff nipples between his fingers. A sound threatens to escape you, and you trap it behind a bitten lip, fists clenched against the table before you. “You know,” Jungkook says conversationally, like he’s not pinching your nipples enough to make you squirm. “Who else do you think can make you come like this?”

You brain lags. “W- What?” you stutter, thighs pressing together to ward away the arousal. Not like they’re already sticky from before, from when Jungkook had made you squirt. 

Jungkook doesn’t miss a beat, pressing a kiss against your shoulder that he trails up to your ear, nibbling at your earlobe. “Who else,” he says slowly, “can make you come like this?”

It’s not a trick question— no one could. You tell Jungkook as much. “I— no one,” you answer, rolling your lips in when he kisses the tender spot beneath your ear again. 

His kisses feel loud, but not as loud as his voice when he says, “exactly.” You swallow, gripping at the edge of the coffee table when he releases your boobs, trails one hand between your thighs, the other around your throat to pull you backwards against his chest. It makes your hands flail, landing against the tops of his thick thighs. 

Jungkook holds you close, fingers tightening around your throat teasingly. “No one else can please you like you want,” he exhales, letting his fingers trail over your skin. “Not the guy on tv, not your exes, not the fucking loser at your job,” he hisses, lips against your ear. “No one,” he reiterates, voice softer now as he presses a kiss against you. “No one but me.”

And it’s true. 

You can’t even muster your usual mouthy, bratty attitude when Jungkook serves you cold hard facts like this. Not when you can feel his aching member press against the small of your back, rest perfectly in the slight dip between your ass cheeks. “Isn’t that right, sweet girl?” he murmurs, voice low. 

You nod, tummy tightening when he uses the hand between your thighs to spread them apart. “Only you,” you agree, voice feathery.

Jungkook hides a grin against your skin, a mean chuckle escaping him when he rests his forehead against your shoulder. “Fuck,” he says, releasing your throat. “Such a good girl,” he praises, hands on your hips again. He uses them to encourage you up onto your knees, hips bumping into the edge of the table as he shuffles you forward. “Bend,” he says quietly, palm flat on the center of your back, pushing you down until your belly button is pressed against the cold wood, boobs swinging forward just the slightest. “Perfect.”

Jungkook shuffles up behind you, soothes a hand over your hip when you flinch at the first press of his cock against your folds. “You’re okay,” he comforts, voice like honey as he lines himself up. Your folds are slippery and wet, loose from your arousal and the two orgasms he’s already given you. 

Despite all that, the first push of his engorged cock past the tight muscles makes you gasp. “Baby, that’s,” you moan, nails scratching against the coffee table to make a sound that you would otherwise find uncomfortable. “I—“

Jungkook pants behind you, cock sinking further and further in. “I’ve got you,” he husks. His voice is like the light at the end of the tunnel, your dark vision forcing you to rely on him entirely as he guides you through the motions. “Made for me,” he repeats, voice airy.

You nod jerkily, arms trembling as his cock plunges deeper inside of you. “Made for you,” you gasp, head falling forward, forehead pressed against the cold surface in front of you. 

He moans, and there’s one deafening moment of silence when he finally reaches the hilt, soft pubic hairs at the base of his cock brushing against your folds. It’s a familiar sensation, having him buried inside of you, but it’s always different when he’s doing it from behind. He always feels fuller, bigger, mushroom tip practically kissing your cervix. 

“Kook,” you whimper, walls unintentionally contracting around him when he lingers a second too long. “Move.”

“Fuck, fuck,” he curses behind you. “I know, it’s just—“ he pauses, squeezes your hip so hard, you’re certain it’ll bruise. “I wanna… y’know,” he groans, dropping his head against your back, warm breath fanning across your slightly sweaty skin. 

It makes something in your stomach click into place, shifting back just the slightest. The small drag around your lips makes you brave. “Then do it,” you urge, desperate for any sort of friction. 

Jungkook practically growls, bucking into you once. “No,” he says, like he’s battling with himself, faced with a mental hurdle he can only cross alone. “You don’t understand,” he sneers, suddenly snapping back into position behind you, pulling you flush against his pelvis once more. It makes you whimper. 

“I kinda do—“

“You don’t,” Jungkook hisses, forcefully thrusting his hips into you enough to make your hips knock painfully against the edge of the coffee table, a startled moan falling from between your lips. And from there, it’s like you’ve unleashed a beast, because Jungkook shows you no mercy as he begins fucking you, his fat cock slipping in and out of you, his angry head flirting with your entrance. “I wanna fucking breed you,” he sneers, fingers digging into the skin around your waist to hold you still as he bucks his hips forward.

His vulgarity makes your skin heat up, the warmth probably tangible over your sloppily made blindfold, eyes wide despite the fabric that covers them. “That—” you gasp, thighs trembling with each powerful thrust. 

“It’s too much, I fucking know,” he huffs dryly, releasing one hip to press against your shoulders, roughly shoving you forward until your breasts are pressed against the surface, arms bent up beside you to stop yourself from hitting your head. “But— But,” he shudders, suddenly stopping his thrusts to grind his cock against you instead, pussy lips quivering around his girthy member. “I wanna,” he pants, “wanna see you so fucking full of me, because— you’re mine, __,” he seethes, “right?”

You nod blindly, dumbly, brain too flooded with the stimulation he’s bestowing upon you to think properly. “I- I am,” you confirm, gasping for air. “And you’re mine,” you manage to get out, one hand slapping down against the coffee table when he draws his cock out, slams himself back into you quickly. 

“I’m yours,” Jungkook slurs behind you, slowly picking up his pace again. The hand on your back lets go, and it’s with trembling arms that you manage to push yourself back onto your forearms, one hand blindly reaching for the hand he’s got gripping at your hips. 

“Oh my god,” you whimper, the sounds coming from your connected bodies so lewd and obscene, disgustingly wet when Jungkook slips back inside. He surges forward again, and you try to catch your balance, knees quivering underneath the force of his thrusts. Your hand slides over the tabletop in a feeble effort to hold onto something, anything. You can’t see, and even if you could there’s not much to hold onto on a flat surface. 

Except the box your hand knocks into. Your confusion lasts for only about a second because then Jungkook is ramming his cock into you, over and over, until you’re certain your hips are going to bruise and your knees are going to give out. Jungkook’s moans are soft and feathery, sighs that fan over your shoulder and make your back arch, eyes rolling backwards for the briefest second as if you were possessed. 

“Mine,” he whimpers, desperate and needy, fingernails digging into your skin as he pushes on. “Gonna be mine forever,” he growls. “Gonna— Gonna be so pretty and big,” he moans, “tits so fucking full.” The image he puts in your mind makes you dizzy. 

You nod dumbly, knuckles bumping against the box a second time. “Jungkook,” you choke out, fingers blindly nudging the box aside. But there’s no strength behind it, your entire body feeling weak and useless, all the energy concentrated in the coil in your stomach, the one that grows and tightens with every entrance of Jungkook’s cock into your pulsing walls. “There’s— There’s something,” you gasp, pinky finger tapping against it.

Behind you, Jungkook stills, harsh breaths deafeningly loud. Louder than the television and the corny music that plays, the mindless chatter of the characters you couldn’t name even if you tried. “Why would you...” Jungkook huffs, irritation lacing his words.

You don’t get to question it, because a second later his finger is tucking itself beneath your blindfold, yanking it off carelessly. It makes your head crane backwards, a tiny yelp torn from your lips as the blinding glow of the TV attacks your poor eyes at full force. Jungkook’s long since stopped his rapid thrusts, and it’s only when you glance off to the side that you realize why. 

It’s the stupid box of flowers Seokjin had sent you, the one Jungkook had placed on the coffee table when you first got home. 

Behind you, Jungkook releases one long exhale, both of you looking at the arrangement with various degrees of discomfort. “Did you like them,” he murmurs, cock throbbing inside of you. 

You shake your head, a soft, “no,” falling from your lips. The muscles in your thighs quiver like mad. 

Jungkook says nothing, but you watch as one inked arm stretches out from behind you, the movement of his hips pushing his cock deeper into you. A tiny whimper catches in your throat, watching as Jungkook hooks a finger over the lip of the box. One swift tug has it gliding over the tabletop, coming to a stop right beside your forearm. Jungkook leans back, the silence terrifying. 

“Did you think they were pretty?” he asks, tracing one finger down your spine. Your lower lip trembles as your eyes scan over the bouquet, at the pretty color selection and lovely scent that joined together to overwhelm your senses. 

“No,” you say, but it feels like a lie.

And Jungkook thinks so too, wrapping one hand around your throat and pulling you back forcefully. It’s the same as he did earlier, but with his cock deep inside your pussy, it sends a shock throughout your entire nervous system, a sob tearing itself from within you as he unintentionally pushes himself deeper inside. “Did you,” he says a second time, practically seething, “think Seokjin’s flowers were pretty?”

Your eyes flicker nervously across the screen in front of you, but everything is a blur, Jungkook’s harsh breathing against your ear. “Yes,” you confess, whimpering when his fingers tighten around your throat, press down against your windpipe as he inhales sharply. “But they’re just flow—“ He squeezes your throat so hard, your eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets, mind growing fuzzy. Eventually, he lets go and you dissolve into a fit of coughs, bent over the coffee table again as Jungkook slips his stiff cock out from within you. “I’m sorry,” you sniffle, throwing a teary-eyed look over your shoulder.

What you’re not expecting is for Jungkook to grab that same shoulder and roughly push you onto your side away from the coffee table, falling onto the fluffy rug as he shoves you down. “Something pretty for a pretty girl,” he sneers, biting down a frankly maniacal grin.

“What?” you exhale, probably looking at him with the same maniacal look in your eyes. 

(You were made for each other, so crazy and in love.)

Jungkook stretches one toned arm out, and you flinch when he uses that same beautiful arm to send the box of flowers flying over the edge of the coffee table, a hard thwack resounding throughout the room when they land face down on the other side, petals against the floor, water dripping out from inside. 

With those out of the way, Jungkook wastes no time flipping you over, face shoved down against the soft rug as he angles your hips up. “Thinking about someone else when I’m right here,” he growls, ramming his cock back into you with no warning. You sob, clawing at nothing as he bucks forward. “What a mean girl,” Jungkook scolds. 

“I- I wasn’t,” you defend weakly, shivering as he snaps his hips against you, the rug irritating your cheek when the motion sends you forward. Jungkook uses the hands on your hips to pull you back, your skin clapping together loudly. 

“You think Seokjin would— would fuck you like this?” he spits, using you like a toy as he fucks basically for himself, cock sliding in and out of your squelching walls. “You think he’d push you down and—and call you a stupid girl?” 

You shake your head, eyes squeezed shut to fight the wave of tears threatening your waterline. Truthfully, it doesn’t make much of a difference, especially not when Jungkook yanks your hips back again, your entrance sensitive from all the friction. “No, no,” you sob. ”He wouldn't.”

Jungkook scoffs, not bothering to slow his pace down. “Of course he wouldn’t,” he spits, and then, strikes your ass. Two hard cracks of his palm, rings and all, against the globes of your ass. You wail, unconsciously jerking away only for Jungkook to drag you back. “Stupid girl,” Jungkook sighs, cock twitching inside of you. You can feel the beads of precum oozing out from the tip of his cock inside you, their warmth making you shudder. 

Your other ass cheek receives the same treatment, two harsh smacks that leave the skin tingling, blood rising to the surface. “Stupid, stupid girl,” he repeats, palms rubbing over your cheeks for a brief second, only to strike down again. “Aren’t you?” You nod, fat tears dripping out of the corner of your eyes and down onto the fluffy rug beneath you. Your behind stings, pain blossoming over your skin. But it’s the good kind, the one that has drool escaping from the corner of your lips from how overwhelmed it leaves you. 

“I- I’m a stupid girl,” you agree, your words punctuated by a series of tiny sobs and sniffles. Your walls feel sensitive, raw, from his thrusts. You’re ready to come, trembling hands slithering down to reach for your clit. 

“Don’t,” Jungkook warns, snatching your arm up and twisting it behind you. 

You cry, tears and drool against the rug. “I wanna come,” you whimper, trying your other hand only for it to meet a similar demise. “Please,” you sniffle, turning your face the other way as if the angle will somehow be different. 

“You don’t come until I say so,” Jungkook hisses, using his grip on your wrists to tug you onto his cock. You moan, choke on your own saliva from the force, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix for real this time. It renders you stupid, just like Jungkook had called you, chin trembling as your eyes roll backwards. Behind you, Jungkook grunts something deep and raspy. “Fffuck,” he spits, pistoning his hips into your inviting heat. “You were doing so good tonight—“ a particular brutal buck of his hips, a loud moan torn from your lips “—but first those fucking flowers and now this?”

The rhythm of his deep thrusts cut your moans into stuttered little cries, your words broken with every ram of his cock inside of you. Your walls feel worn, every brush sending a tingling shock up your spine. “I- I’m sorry,” you weep, shoulders shaking from your own tears and the rumbling orgasm that’s just about ready to snap. 

Jungkook says nothing, too busy shoving his cock inside of you to grace you with a response. Instead, you’re subjected to his relentless thrusts, sharp gasps from his pretty mouth. “Fuck,” he pants, releasing your wrists after one particular thrusts, your walls clenching around him painfully when he draws his cock out. 

“I can’t,” you sniffle, knees giving out before he can catch you, sadly sinking down onto the plush rug. “Kook, I—”

Jungkook makes a sound, something between a growl and a roar in the back of his throat as he follows behind you, planting two firm hands on the sides of your head to use as leverage to fuck himself in. With your thighs pressed flat together, the squeeze is tighter than ever before, and your eyes roll backwards as he gets to work, walls fluttering from the overstimulation. 

“I’ve got you, sweetheart,” he pants, all games thrown aside as he begins pounding his cock past your folds, deep into your contracting walls, until that tight spring in your stomach gives out and you’re clenching up beneath him, entire body going stiff for one long beat. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you weep, thighs quivering as you cream his cock, make his movements so slippery and wet, almost dangerous when he’s going this fast. His name falls from your trembling lips, every nickname and pet name you’ve ever given him mindlessly blubbered through your orgasm. Jungkook pays you no mind, thighs tensing up as he chases his high, short breaths and moans filling the space as he fucks himself into you. Until, finally, a few deep strokes later, he’s coming with a shuddered cry of your name on his tongue, collapsing over you, forehead pressed to your back as he catches his breath. 

“Fuck,” he groans one last time, body going slack very quickly. He slumps down beside you, softening cock slipping out of your tender folds. 

The floor between the coffee table and the couch is dark, the television glow not reaching down here. Even still, the sweat clinging to Jungkook makes him look like a sparkly Twilight vampire, the dip between his pecs collecting the smallest pool of sweat. You can’t stop yourself from running your pointer finger along the skin, over his nipple. His pec jumps deliciously under the attention. “Stop,” Jungkook sighs, catching your wrist in his, pressing his lips to your knuckles in an attempt to distract you. “Or I’ll really get you pregnant next time.”

You push yourself onto your elbows, pinching his doughy cheek. “You won’t,” you tease. Jungkook flicks his hair away from his eyes to level you with a look you’ve never seen before, not a trace of his usual post-sex playfulness to be found. It has you retracting your hand, eyes wide when he doesn’t stand down. Still, you can’t lose. “...No you won’t,” you repeat, quieter, almost unsure. Almost a question. 

Jungkook rolls his eyes, tugging you into his arms. He’s all sweaty and sticky, just like you. He’s lucky he doesn’t have four separate loads of cum— three from you, one from him —sticking between his thighs. “Keep telling yourself that,” he pants, so smoothly. Too smoothly. It makes you clench your thighs, something Jungkook doesn’t miss. “Stop it,” he warns a second time.

“You’re just so dreamy,” you whine, sitting back up to play with his hand. “Like, when you made me squirt?” He chuckles softly, eyes fluttering shut. “Not gonna lie, I thought I saw the answer to the universe for a second.” 

He’s worn out today, more than usual, that he doesn’t bother gracing you with a response. But it had been a long day for Jungkook; from planning an entire date, to the Seokjin debacle, to the crazy hot sex he’d gifted you. It was only reasonable. You reward his efforts with a soft peck against his cheek that makes him smile, a light blush painting his cheeks. “You did good today,” you hum, patting chest comfortingly. 

“Felt like I was in a Viki drama,” he confesses after a moment, has that tiny smile on his face that makes the apples of his cheeks especially round, especially cute. “The kind that have twelve plot lines going on.”

You laugh, snuggling beside him. The rug feels dirty, but so do you so the feeling is cancelled out or whatever. “You’d be the Park Seojoon of any Viki drama,” you tell him, and Jungkook laughs.

That loud and airy one he reserves only for you. 

epilogue

Namjoon calls Jungkook’s phone a little after eleven, talking your ear off about some date he’d gone on while Jungkook is in the shower. You tell him about what happened with Seokjin and like all respectable college mentors, he just about flips. “You can sue him,” Namjoon hisses, furious for you. Not that you aren’t anymore, but in a weird act of impulsiveness, Jungkook had gone outside and ran the stupid box of flowers over with his car as you watched from the open window of your apartment. It was weirdly cathartic. 

He’s in the shower now, humming the lyrics to one of the songs from Secretary Kim, a song called It’s You by Jeong Sewoon (thank you, Shazam), that makes every inch of your body overflow with adoration when he hits that long note. Anyway, you’re perusing the rest of the streaming service for a movie to watch. Jungkook said you couldn’t watch Train to Busan tonight, something about it ruining the mood. So now you’re debating between a historical romcom or a modern romcom. 

Over the line, Namjoon is doing all the raging for you. “Men are trash,” he huffs one last time, before eventually letting it go. (For now.) “Hey, do you know how to cover up hickeys?” he asks suddenly, just as Jungkook reappears in the living room. His skin is glowing, looking like the hottest man alive. The window is still open, a feeble attempt to air out the smell of sex in the room, and the draft makes Jungkook shiver because his hair is still a little wet. 

“Hickeys?” you repeat, stretching a hand out for him as he rounds the couch. Jungkook takes it, places a soft smooch against your knuckles, close to your promise ring. Your heartbeat stutters just as Namjoon hums. 

“Yeah, this girl,” he says, cutting himself off with a laugh. One you recognize all too well because it’s the same one you let out when you talk about Jungkook to other people. Said boy settles close beside you, leans his cheek against your head when you snuggle into his neck. As soon as he’s there, you lose all rights to the remote, watching as Jungkook completely disregards all your searching just to click back onto Secretary Kim. He had missed a whole episode. “We went a little crazy tonight—“ you gag at the image Namjoon places in your head “—and Doyeon bites kinda hard—“

“Doyeon?” you interrupt, all mental processes coming to an abrupt halt as the name bounces around your mind. Jungkook, having mastered the art of listening in on your phone calls by now, freezes beside you. “You know a Doyeon?” 

“Yeah!” Namjoon says excitedly as you sit up. Jungkook meets your gaze, big Bambi eyes giving the performance of a lifetime, and gives your this overly innocent shrug of his shoulders that tells you more about what he does know than what he doesn’t. “Kim Doyeon. She went to your school— actually, she graduated with you and Kook.”

The world comes to a complete stop as you glare at Jungkook, his panicked features cueing you in to the fact he was aware of this, as you’d suspected. “Namjoon,” you say slowly, fist tightening around Jungkook’s phone. “Are you aware you’re fucking my best friend?” 

There’s a long silence on the other end, Namjoon presumably processing the information while Jungkook tries to calm the boiling anger within you. “He didn’t know,” Jungkook whispers, big pretty eyes on you as he tries to save Namjoon from you. 

All his efforts are in vain when Namjoon clears his throat and so eloquently says, “and you’re fucking my best friend?”

epi-epilogue

The Best Buy employee doesn’t ask questions when you and Jungkook go in to get your cracked phone screens repaired. He does, however, give Jungkook an over-exuberant sales pitch on a brand new line of computer monitors that are almost as big as the television at your house. 

You try to save him from the dangerous hands of capitalism, but the Hello Kitty bandaids decorating your neck are itchy, the skin still so tender, so sometimes it’s wiser to let him waste his money than argue otherwise. 

“Good girl,” Jungkook says as he swings your arms back and forth on your walk to the car, impressed by the fact you didn’t argue with him in a Best Buy today. “My perceptions and understanding of you in my life make me happy,” he beams, too smiley as he unlocks the doors. 

“Shut up,” you glare, painfully tearing the stupid bandaids off your neck as soon as you get in, brandishing the blossoming hickeys Jungkook had so graciously given you last night. At the sight, he bites down a smile. “You’re about to perceive and understand these fists.” 

And Jungkook smiles— he always smiles —as he leans over the center console to press his mouth against the darkened skin at the front of your neck, mindlessly rubbing his thumb over your promise ring. “Perceive this love,” he says, so cheesy it makes you gag. 

“Goddd,” you groan, pushing him away before he can see the smile on your face. “Someone get this man a Viki deal.”

Copyright © 2021, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.