#I want recommendations though bc there's a lot of stuff written about mental illness and a lot of it is not good

[gauzestarr]

Does anyone know of any lefty YouTubers who experience/talk about psychosis & schizophrenia? We've got a module on it coming up in college and I'm not expecting it to be good so I wanna see what psychotic people & disability activists have to say about their experiences before we get to it lmao

[dukeofdelirium]

Can I ask your top 10 fav fics ever (from any fandom, if you don't mind)?

Also, just curious, is there a story behind your name "dukeofdelirium "?

Oh lord. Fav fanfics? Idk if I could even come up with 10.

I don’t really read fanfic that much these days unfortunately, mostly bc I haven’t rlly had time with my current job. I do write fanfic on my AO3 though (but my updating is random bc I work a lot). You can find me on AO3 at dukeofdelirium

I have multiple ongoing fanfics, including a Death Note/lawlight one that I’m writing the 2nd chapter for when I have free time.

As for my all time fav fanfics? Ummmmmmm

1) Genius Is a Curse by Bloodshot Eyes both on ao3 and fanfiction.net.

This is a DN AU where Light never finds the DN. I will say it’s very heavy on mental illness and things like that, and ppl might find the content triggering so I would read with caution if this is the case for you. It’s a fanfic that I still think about to this day and that I’ve reread maybe 5 times in the last 14 yrs. Something about it rlly stuck with me and I still think about it all the time.

2) The Hinterland Doctrine aka Those Who Stand For Nothing Fall For Anything by Halfpromise both on ao3 and fanfiction.net

We all know where we were when this shit dropped lmfao. This is one of the most iconic death note/lawlight fanfics ever written and just so you’re aware, it’s almost 800,000 words. It has its own tv tropes article and everything 😂 I remember reading this fic in highschool and it had me fucked up in all sorts of ways. I’ve been thinking about rereading it bc I haven’t read it in years but I remember how much I loved it. It’s also an AU where Light is a politician, I’m not telling you anything else 🤫

3) motion picture soundtrack by lowlightt on ao3

this author…. This AUTHOR…. Nahhhhhh their writing makes me actually insane I’m serious. Me and my bestie kept sending their fics back and forth in our group chat and we were literally quoting the fics and going crazy until like 4am for multiple nights in a row 😂 see I’ll do it right now. IT’S VIOLENCE, THIS KISS! god that knocks the wind out of me 🤣

4) Drag You Down by chocomd on ao3

This is a Katara x Aang long fic where they break up and eventually get back together. I rlly love this author and I’ve read most of their works. I recommend all their stuff, especially Midnight Meditations and Without Water which are both one shots I believe? Don’t quote me on that tho

The only other fics coming to my mind are fanfics that my friends have written. Like I said, I don’t rlly read too much fanfic these days and when I do read them, I am very selective and picky about it. For a fic to hold my interest and actually be memorable, they rlly have to scratch a highly niche itch in my brain lol. I’ll link some of my besties fanfics if anyone wants to check them out :)

5) Golden Hour by FuelMyDelusions on ao3

This is a Jacob x Bella longfic and a Breaking Dawn rewrite (thank god cuz we all know it needs that) and I’m WAITING FOR BESTIE TO UPDATE 🙄 jk I can’t talk cuz I know she’s waiting for me to update my shit too 😔🤚🏻

6) Aurora - A New Dawn by poizonivory on ao3

This is another twilight Jacob x Bella longfic that is fixing the hot mess that Breaking Dawn aka Smeyer Hell created. I love this fic so much 👹 you’ll catch me in the comments acting weird

Anyway lol, I can’t think of any other fanfics at the moment. Feel free to shoot me other asks if you want, but yeah I don’t rlly read too many fics these days except for what my friends write and stuff that rlly catches my attention.

And to answer your last question, there isn’t any particular story or meaning behind my username. I’ve just had the username for years and so I use it for practically everything. My URL used to be different over a decade ago when I joined tumblr (I was a 100% death note blog at the time) but then I changed it to dukeofdelirium so I’ve kept this username for many years 😋✌🏻

[malt-rants-and-stuff]

okay switching to reblog bc its easier than just replying. ignore the time it took to get these i was rereading come of them and got emotional but here are some from me, though most arent very recent lol:

The Children's Rebellion is forever a huge recc of mine, classic dsmp fic and the series is just such an amazing read. Though be warned the sequel hasnt updated in a year but it doesnt really matter when the rest of it is completed. Awesome sci-fi star trek inspired space au mind the tags :)

going the complete opposite direction, All Together Getting Out Of The Hole Together is a newer fic but still amazing, boreal trio supremacy!! just a warm and healing fic about mental illness and healing together :)

The Dread Pirate Ranboo is yet another classic that i hold so close to my heart. techno and ranboo found family my beloveds, with good heaps of beeduo and just general sbi extended family content to heal all wounds and create them at the same time.

there is this fic which is just pure crack. you can check it to see the name yourself it is just all around a funny time and a good throwback to how we were all coping with limbo being a thing.

His Curse of Binding you may of heard of from others, it is THE tommy au fic i can not reccomend it enough. the angst is supreme the dynamics are amazing.

Hush Now is probably one of my favorite fics that came out of the dsmp superhero au boom, classic and a good read. lots of awesome whump. sadly incompleter but it has lots of chapters!

i saw youve read tumoasd and i know most people dont really mention it but eneli wrote many awesome fics while in the fandom not just that, so if you liked their writing they have a series of their other works called the ecu which id say are all amazing to read.

Lost In The Woods Somewhere fae tubbo beeduo horror au, one of my favorites, along with just about anything Hellenite has ever written like the Event Horizon series or my absolute favorite beeduo fic of all time Fading Lights. would reccomend all of them though be prepared to get very scared, very stressed, and then break down crying in order of fics.

the Honeybee series is for sure one of those things you have got to experience if you like c!tubbo. its That Girl when it comes to non-tommy-centric superhero aus and i love it to death. lots of awesome beeduo and clingyduo stuff here to enjoy

baby steps micheal is a part of techno's chat and its sweet :)

I don't want familiarity with your mind sweet mind reader tommy fic very comfy

speak the only language they can understand ohhhhh THE SYNDICATE!!! very good very fun would read again

if you would like some runaway tommy goodness, there is How to Balance a Kid and a Career as an Entertainment Fighter and Vibrations which also have some dadinnit in there too if youre down for that

Fuck You I'll Do It is pure gold, tailor tommy with lots of fantasy bullshit and angst to go with it

The L'Manberg Stories unhinged, messy, everyone is going through it.

30 Days to count the stars is a big hear me out because i know this is supposed to be dsmp but if you enjoy 30 days smp beeduo and all that comes with that, this heap of angst will be a spectacular read for you

The Knight, the Bard, the Soldier and...Ranboo? is incomplete but if you enjoy characters going to alternate universes and having A Time then you will love this, c!tommy and his journey through a messed up fantasy verion of his world

dead relatives and daddy issues is life-changing i swear. not only a beautiful story about love and healing and chronic illness but also the complexities of everyone's relationships is just so damn amazing. uni student government au ranboo pov mostly as well as tommy and tubbo, THE bench trio series i cannot recommend it enough and also while most is complete the most recent one is still being updated so you can follow along if you like to ^^ plus kale is actually hilarious in the authors notes and very detailed and can you tell im obsessed with it yet lol, coming up on 3 years of being a reader so i need everyone who want to hear about it to read it <333

Any good dsmp fanfic recommendation?

Im looking for more dsmp fanfics to read cause im slowly running out lol.

No x readers, just like, fanfics, yk?

Ive already read Tcfsv, Tumfasd, Passerine, Shrike, Accelerate, and im planning on reading Butterfly reigon. Also, idc if ir has Wilbur or george in it, honestly.

Thank you thank you!!!<3<3<3

[voidandradiance]

hello! from the fic writer thingy; 1, 8, 9, 17, 25, 36, 37, 41 and 42 !!!

1. What fic of yours would you recommend to someone who had never read any of your work? (In other words, what do you think is the best introduction to your fics?)

oh boy uh. for dsmp, by far, can i sleep in your house tonight or like i've never been are my strongest works. best foot forward, and all that.

for mianite, though... i love the karma series but it's a Lot, so maybe vintage misery or stars burn out. peak identity theft for both of them, tbh, but they're Good.

8. What song would make a great fic (to either write or read)?

i've done most of the Splash Potion of Brainrot ones, but left on the list are:

the plagues from prince of egypt, 100 bad days by ajr, home to me by devil and the deep blue sea, thus always to tyrants by the oh hellos, dirty by grandson :)

9. How do you find new fic to read?

i subscribe to vav on ao3. and also scroll the wilbur soot character tag with dozens of excluded tags. and also read my friends' stuff.

17. What highly specific AU do you want to read or write even though you might be the only person to appreciate it?

my batshit insane tubbo- and andor-centric vigilianitee au, my fucking beloved. put those boys in situations. someone becomes a magical girl and i'm not telling you who.

25. What other websites or resources do you use most often when you write?

i have the mental illness transcription doc, which is roughly 80 pages of transcribed mianite dialogue written out in script format, and i reference that pretty often. i've also got a folder of about 725 screenshots of mianite references, so. yknow.

36. Do you visualize what you read/write?

....sometimes? i guess? i'm really fuckin bad at it when i do, but i end up sketching out reference maps or using screenshots bc my spacial awareness is a little bit Really Bad

37. Promote one of your own “deep cut” fics (an underrated one, or one that never got as much traction as you think it deserves!). What do you like about it?

all of my mianite fics.

nahhh as far as dsmp fics go, i have to say just give me a happy middle is one that i loved and most people didn't. it was just posted at a weird time, i think? idk. food as a metaphor for love.

41. Link a fic that made you think, “Wow, I want to write like that.”

THIS ONE. THIS ONE RIGHT HERE. it was the first one of vav's ao3 fics that i read, and i lost my fucking mind. the imagery. the detail. the pacing. the quilt. OUGH i wish i could fuckin Do That with words. i dont care if yall warch mianite or not i am telling you to read the fic

42. Have you ever received a comment that particularly stood out to you for whatever reason?

the tipping point for me becoming a wilbur main was zanna zannolin's comment on save the world. so. yes. anyone who leaves long detailed comments analyzing symbolism or easter eggs or characterization, i would already die for you, but that comment specifically is one of the things that got me to start writing wilbur-centric stuff as a whole. thanks king.

[ziracona]

Pretty sure your sudden spike in Fate content is gonna be like the third time I check something out bc you started posting it (I know next to nothing about Fate. In fact, I think I now know less than before you started). I'm rly not sure what the best starting point to get into it is, though. Any recommendation? (also I got Moriarty on your quiz and now I want to know why he's so beloved)

Oh sick! Awesome! I hope you enjoy it! 

Uhm, so, Fate notoriously swaps out like their whole creative team from work to work, so some of it is really good, and some is really bad, and some in the middle, because it’s made by very different people. The things I am most into are UBW, and Fate Go. Fate Go is a little gatcha phone game, that suffers from the fate of the whole fate franchise but as a single unit. They swap out writers from arc and event to arc and event, so sometimes you’re living and thriving, and sometimes you’re like *thousand yard glazed, pained stare* ‘why the fuck did I download this game?’ Very mixed bag. I enjoy it because I just kinda blow through any arc I don’t like and skim, and then go hella into the good ones, but it’s very much an individual matter of taste one. It’s very fun to collect spirits and get to know them though, and some of the arcs are fantastic. Also, they have made/are making some of the Fate Go arcs into shows, and I expect the ones that are of good game arcs are good? But I haven’t actually checked any out myself yet--I really need to watch E Pluribus Unum, because it was an easy top 3 arc for me in the game.

I’m big into Fate, but I actually have approximate knowledge of many things? And have not consumed as much media as you’d think. I tend to hear people really like Fate Zero, and very mixed reviews of Apocrypha, but I would wholeheartedly recommend the Fandom Classic(tm) and my personal fave as where to start, which is Unlimited Blade Works.

Sorry this is so long. Okay, so. Originally, Fate Stay/Night was a visual novel with three paths/routes: Fate, Unlimited Blade Works, and Heaven’s Feel. All of these are shows now. Unlimited Blade Works was made twice. Do not watch the early one; it’s bad. Watch the 2014 TV series--it’s on Netflix right now. Don’t watch the English dub--the VAs are...not great. 110% recommend watching it in Japanese/original dub, with subtitles. (This one)

My usual pitch is that if you’re a normal person, you’ll probably go “This was a little confusing, but I really got into it: 8.3/10″, and if you’re like me and you never really gave up on wanting to become a superhero and save the world some day, you’ll go: “It was fantastic, 18/10, but it also ripped out my soul and left me wounded but somehow in an okay way.” Either way very worth watching. Since it’s not the first route, there are some things they don’t explain about the world because they kind of assume the viewer will know, but that’s pretty minimal--it’s def coherent enough that the more confusing bits are more of a “Uh, okay. I think.” than a “W-What the fuck is going on?”

It’s really good. Two seasons, the most beautiful fighting in almost anything I’ve ever seen, phenomenal soundtrack, and one of the best show opens (Season 2′s) of any show I ever saw. All around a just big blanket rec from me. It’s a long-time fan favorite for a reason. It’s one of my fave shows ever :’-] It was. Very personal to me.

Uhhhh what else--okay so, on Netflix if you watch it there, and a lot of streaming sites, they list “Episode 0″ or “Prologue” as the first episode? This was originally bonus content, not the first episode. It’s basically the first episode from not the MC’s point of view, but a different major character. It’s got some really great character moments and insight into Rin and Archer, and it’s fun, but since it was originally bonus, the pacing is super weird? So I would recommend you start with actual episode 1/Winter Days, A Fateful Night instead? Unless you just want to. Like it won’t mess up the show, but it might give you a weird idea of what the pacing is. So you can watch it first if you want, or later whenever you’re curious about those two, just like, if you start on it, don’t get overwhelmed by the stuff they’re not explaining, or the weird pacing. It’s supposed to be bonus content haha.

Very happy you’re interested! I really love UBW so I hope you enjoy it! If there’s anything else you want to ask feel totally free! I just don’t want to ramble for eight years about my special interest and fall into a black hole unprompted haha. : D Very happy you’ve been intrigued by my weird spike of fate content WAIT YOU ASKED ABOUT CRIME GRANDPA HOW COULD I FORGET.

Woof this is gonna be a long ask answer. Uhhhh, so Moriarty is from Fate Grand Order/Fate Go, the phone game. The game has three major arc sets so far: Grand Order, Epic of Remnant, and Cosmos in the Lostbelts. He’s from Epic of Remnant, and he’s universally beloved because he’s amazing. The MC in Fate Go is like 16, but he or she (you get to pick) is constantly having to risk their life and be hurt and traumatized and watch people die to save the world because there’s no one else to do it, and usually people are...not super nice to them. Moriarty shows up in the first of the second set of arcs and is like ‘Haha that’s a wholeass human child tho. Guys. Guys, a-are you sure about this?’ and he’s really there to pull of a massive evil culmination-of-my-life’s-entire-work-and-value scheme, but this kid is nice to him, and has nobody who looks out for them, and Evil Has Standards, so (Arc End Spoilers for that one ahead) he ends up giving up basically at the last minute. He had a plan that was totally working and could have won, but can’t really pull the trigger, because winning would mean this kid who has been nice to him and is already a massive pile of trauma and pressure and mental illness would die, and he cares more about them than his life’s goal. In Go usually boss fights are progressively harder, but his is super easy because he throws it, and chooses to lose, and basically throws away his life’s work for this one kid because nobody else is taking care of them, and lets himself get killed. This is a pattern with him. Other high points include later being 5 seconds into a scheme when Frankenstein (the girl one, who in fgo is like 14) stops him to call him Papa and asks for help, so he adopts her on the spot and just is her dad forever after that. He’s very goofy and I love him; he’s evil, but I’d trust him with my life, because he’s more good than he is evil, even though he’s both. Basically he’s just a very interesting and well written villain, but he’s also like, the /best/ dad in the game at the same time, and his dialogue is amazing. Evil Has Standards team dad poster man. He’s like the only adult in Fate Go who actually is responsible, which is fuckin wild. I’ll try to find some good screenshots of his dialogue. Anyway he’s incredible and I’m so happy you got him; Crime Papa is life.

Here have some Moriarty junk: (Shinjuku arc you have 3 partners, and the other two are adults but harass the MC constantly, and this was the dynamic. Bless Moriarty) 

And here’s some him roasting Sherlock memes and being good dad to the MC

[stormsbourne]

after seeing you post about fe3h, i decide to look up a lp/walktrough bc i cant afford a switch, i absolutely loved it! do you have any recommended fanworks?

hiya! as usual, tumblr sent me no alerts about this one! I actually don’t have many recs because most of what I consume in the fandom is dimilix. I don’t consume a lot of crimson flower/verdant wind content, mostly just azure moon! but here’s some stuff I’ve enjoyed:

dimilix

Lion’s Lair by LandOfMistsAndSecrets is a fic set during the timeskip where Felix finds Dimitri in the church, they fight, and then sex happens. most of the stuff I’m reccing will be shameless porn. I make no apologies. 

We Didn’t Come Here To Talk by LandOfMistsAndSecrets is a post-chapter-18 AM dimilix fic dealing with Felix’s grief over the events of chapter 16, where Dimitri and Felix bond over their shared grief and also spar a lot and also fuck. 

Dead Things by BlackHolesAndUnicorns is a fic where Felix, just post-ts, comes to grips with the fact that Dimitri is alive and deals with intense grief and guilt. Very heavy and also very sexy. 

Hunger by BlackHolesAndUnicorns is a fic where Felix wants Dimitri to fuck him harder but unfortunately Dimitri has inhuman strength and comedy ensues

Into Forever by BlackHolesAndUnicorns is post-game dimilix fluff that also has sex in it

Armistice by LandOfMistsAndSecrets is also postgame and involves Felix trying to help Dimitri grapple with his shaky mental health. also has sex. of course

Days Go By by ladylapislazuli is a long post-canon look at the developing relationship between Dimitri and Felix following the war, including how other people look at them and their relationship. I have a FEW qualms with how some of the characters are written in this one, but I can’t deny that I really enjoyed it. 

here are a couple fics that were written for me for a holiday Dimilix exchange last year: 

wide eyed kids being kids by nikkiRA, where baby Felix is certain that Dimitri has a crush on Glenn and he’s very jealous

scatter something new by nikkiRA, where Felix helps Dimitri deal with his mental illness/ghosts/voices and they have some really good really choice sex. look, I have priorities. both of these gift fics are very good, I high rec both

and just for full disclosure here are fics I wrote, all of these are porn: 

the bite that binds: vampire au dimitri set in canon, where house fraldarius’ duty is to be house blaiddyd’s feeders. for the holiday exchange! pan-canon, from baby felix to post-chapter-16 felix

Promises Made To Long-Dead Men: felix finds dimitri in the ruins instead of byleth (pre-chapter 13)

it’s a big dark love: Felix is an omega, Dimitri is an alpha, nobody has suppressant and Felix is going into heat (between chapters 15 and 16)

Do It Alone: set during and just after chapter 16, Felix finds Dimitri and his father on the battlefield and attempts to cope with his grief without letting anybody know that grieving is what he’s doing

ok here’s some NON dimilix: 

However We Got Here, Wherever We’re Going by LandOfMistsAndSecrets is Caspar/Linhardt set in crimson flower where the two of them grapple with the war they both don’t really want to fight and the things they’ve done as a result. there’s no porn in this one but I find fandom tries to avoid talking about just how brutal you can be in CF, so I really love this fic for approaching that from the view of the person who hates it most, which is Linhardt. 

Tension by BlackHolesAndUnicorns is more caspar/linhardt where Linhardt is realizing that he might be in love with Caspar and he’s trying to work out how to deal with it. no porn in this one either!!

last note

honestly I’ve been reading a bunch of stuff on the fe3h kink meme and several of the things I like best haven’t been posted on ao3. I’m planning to write some stuff for this as well once I get a few commissions out of my queue. if you’ve never been to a kink meme before here’s how it works: people request weird kinky fic/art anonymously, and other people supply it (usually also anonymously on the meme, though sometimes they’ll claim it later on ao3). it’s basically a big kinky prompt generator. I’ve REALLY enjoyed a lot of the ferdinand/hubert stuff on there and only some of it is posted on ao3. though there IS an fe3h kink meme collection.

I’m gonna be honest with you I haven’t been reading much fic lately so this list may be a bit lacking outside of the dimilix lmao. I hope you like this stuff!!

[bubonickitten]

so ive been thinking of listening to tma for a while now but im a very anxious person. did it trigger your anxiety a lot? ive checked out the content warning list and i already know ill need to skip a few at least

TMA has definitely triggered anxiety for me at times, mostly on my first listen-through and with regard to topics that already make me anxious, but it didn’t trigger any panic attacks or anything, personally. But that’s just me. It totally depends on your own needs and triggers (as well as your general familiarity with horror as a genre). I think it helped that I binged it, so I wasn’t left hanging for a week on an emotionally-charged cliffhanger -- but now that I’m caught up, I do have to wait a week between episodes like everyone else, so it can be a bit more anxiety-inducing, lol.

Most of my anxiety was that sort of low-level, generalized, creeping dread that comes with the horror genre -- but I also tend to get really nervous even when I’m reading/watching/listening to/playing/whatever various other genres. (Especially when a character I love or identify with is in trouble and it isn’t immediately clear whether they’ll make it out alive, lmao.) Horror just tends to bring out a different kind of anxiety, and I like that sense of dread (well, depending on the subgenre of horror we’re talking about; there are some I don’t vibe with as much). But I definitely have to be careful with how it plays with my anxiety symptoms. 

(Putting the rest below a cut bc this got long.)

Almost all the episodes have a unique framing in that they’re comprised of a statement (basically a short story embedded within the overall metaplot, usually events that happened in the past), narrated by a single character (usually Jon, but not always), followed up by metaplot stuff. The season finales are an exception, usually they’re all metaplot happenings with a lot of action and multiple voice actors throughout. So, if you wanted to, you could follow the metaplot and not listen to the statements, or vice versa. (If you do that, I’d still recommend reading summaries of the statements, because even though they work really well as standalone short stories, they’re all connected to the metaplot in one way or another, even if it doesn’t seem like it at first, and there are recurring characters that show up in them frequently.)

The statements themselves usually don’t make me super anxious, probably because they’ve all happened in the past and I don’t have to worry about the main characters being in active danger. Most of my anxiety comes in when it’s current plot stuff happening with the main cast of characters. But, the statements are where you’re most likely to find specific triggers bc a lot of them deal with common phobias (spiders, trypophobia, claustrophobia, agoraphobia, decay, being watched, etc.) and other potentially triggering content (compulsions, paranoia, unreality, gore, body horror, police violence, etc.), as well as commentary on xenophobia, racism, and other -isms and real-world social issues (portrayed critically and not condoned in the slightest, but still present). The writing is so evocative and descriptive that even if I don’t have a specific phobia, it still brings out that sense of dread for me. (I also tend to have trouble with conflict between characters and there’s a lot of that, so be careful if characters being mean to each other puts you in a bad headspace.) 

In case you haven’t already seen it, there’s a Google doc with spoiler-free content warnings for each episode here; the unofficial transcript site has content warnings at the top of each episode page; and for episodes you know you’ll have to skip, if you still want to keep up with the metaplot, the Wiki is good for summaries, and each episode page is split into segments (statement/supplemental/etc.)

I’d keep in mind, too, that Jonny Sims has been clear that it’s a horror-tragedy. It won’t have a happy ending. That’s something I have to prepare myself for, as someone who gets very emotionally attached to characters. So far there have been a few deaths of beloved characters, and I’m 100% sure that this season is going to have some hard-hitting major character deaths. But one of the nice things about it is that Jonny Sims is good at treating his characters with compassion, even when he puts them through some serious grief and suffering. It doesn’t strike me as just another “kill your darlings” mentality, or throwing characters away without wrapping up their personal arcs just to make a cheap point. 

I personally like dark fiction that has a hopeful ending, if not a happy one, and Jonny Sims is definitely including humanity and hope and love even in recent episodes, but the ending is... probably going to be more tragic than hopeful. That’s a creative direction he’s intended from before the first episode of the podcast was even recorded, and he’s been up front about it and I trust him to execute it well because so far his storytelling and character development have been stunning, so I just have to do my best to prepare myself for any anxiety and grief I might experience as the series’ ending draws near, haha. (Nice thing is, this fandom has a lot of nice fanfic, so even if canon is rough, I have some outlets.) 

I’m rambling, so: TL;DR, yes, depending on what specifically triggers your anxiety, this podcast might be a rough listen at times. I find it worth it, because the story is really good (and again, I tend to get anxious even outside of the horror genre), and Jonny Sims is an amazing writer, and the podcast is brilliantly voice acted and soundscaped -- but definitely be careful and mind the content warnings. The current season (which will be the final season) is particularly rough because even though it’s still supernatural horror, it also deals with a lot of very real-world horrors. I mean, the whole podcast does in some ways -- there’s a lot of pointed and brilliantly written social commentary -- but the current season is especially raw, especially considering current events. 

If you have any specific triggers or content you’re worried about -- because the content warning guide is great but vague since it’s spoiler-free -- feel free to message me again (anon or otherwise) and I can go into detail about the specifics (depending on what level of spoilers you’re comfortable with). 

[magic-can]

Okay I tried to pick just some questions but they are all so good so like,, can you answer all of them?? (Unless you don't want to answer some jsjdksldk)

(I’m not gonna answer ones I don’t have an answer to if that’s okay dndjdjjd)1. If you got the chance to hang out with any famous person for a day, who would it be?Tbh? Probably Sean McCloughin (or jacksepticeye for anyone that doesn’t know also I hope I spelled his last name right hhhh) because he just seems so,,,down to earth??? Like I’m not saying other ppl I’m a fan of are egotistical or anything it’s just that?? He’s always interacting with fans, he knows he’s not a perfect person, and he’s super non-judgmental and optimistic and accepting and he just seems so approachable. (I’m gonna make a post about why I have a lotta respect and appreciation for this dude actually, bc I’ve been binge watching his videos and I’m being reminded of why he’s my favorite YouTuber, such an awesome dude.) Not only that but he has a lotta the same interests as me and stuff and he actually has a really thoughtful mind when it comes to a lot of things and I’d feel a lot less nervous around him than any other famous person.2. If there were 4 things you could get rid of, what would they be?* Mistranslated religious scriptures bc hooh boy they’ve created a lot of misunderstanding and controversy * pedophiles* TERFS* nazis 3. If you could uncancel any cancelled video game, what would it be?Silent Hills,,,so much potential, Thrown out the window by a greedy company. It’s such a shame the game got cancelled, I was super pumped for it.4. Is there any celebrity you used to be a fan of but now aren’t?Pewdiepie, he gives me a really bad feeling now.6. Time travel: cool or a horrible idea?HORRIBLE IDEA 7. Are you a creationist or evolutionist?Definitely creationist, but I do believe there are quite a few animals that have common ancestors and stuff like that.8. Worst song(s) you’ve ever heard?Can’t think of the absolute worst one I’ve ever heard in my life, but recently? Despacito and Shape Of You hhhh.9. Have you ever astral projected?Nope. I can’t even imagine what that would be like.10. Have you ever had any experiences with the paranormal?I think maybe...I’m not sure though. Even though I 100% believe in the paranormal I don’t assume something odd is automatically of the nature, evidence is important.11. What’s the last song you listened to?Papua New Guinea- The Future Sound Of London 12. Would you rather take 3 pills that would each make you forget an embarrassing memory, or take 3 pills that would each get rid of a bad habit?3 pills that get rid of a bad habit, yeah I’ve done a lot of cringey stuff but I think those would help me more in the long run.13. What is the worst fandom in your opinion?I used to think it was the Skeleton Clique, but nah, the KPop fandom looks like hell on earth (and I’m going nowhere near it, especially after hearing about the abuse and torment the KPop stars face. I will NEVER support KPop even if there was a gun to my head. Those people don’t deserve this hell.) 14. Do you still have stuffed animals?Buddy I’ll still have stuffed animals when I’m 50.15. Do you have any fears that other people might find weird? Is fear of time weird? 16. Which of your parents are you closer to?Probably my dad.18. Thoughts on roleplaying?There’s nothing wrong with it if it ain’t hurting anyone!19. Does the world scare you?Yeah, but it doesn’t discourage me, we CAN make it less scary.20. Any good advice you have?A priest that used to work at my church (he moved tho and I miss him bc he was the sweetest guy) once told me that people tend to view the world in black and white, when in reality it’s multiple shades of gray (not 50 shades of gray this is a church goodness.) That’s something that’s always stuck with me. I think that’s a mindset more people should have.21. Thoughts on this site? What’s good about it? What’s bad about it? What can be fixed?The good things about this site is that it can give people opportunities to share their art, interests, views, and build communities. It’s a shame that instead people use it for hate speech, hypocrisy, this gross hive mind, extremism, etc. Oh, and a staff that ignores all the crap.22. Ever gotten anon hate?Not directly.23. What’s the weirdest dream you’ve ever had?All of my dreams are freakin bizarre, I can’t choose the weirdest of them all. Like last night I had a dream that a rat turned into a worm and that’s one of the more “tame” dreams.24. What do you think heaven and hell look like/would look like?I don’t believe in the fiery hell a lot of people believe in. I believe in Sheol tho, you know, the depths, a v v cold lonely sucky place. Heaven...idk exactly what heaven would look like, but I know it’s beautiful and otherworldly in the bed way possible.25. If you had to have an encounter with any famous horror movie character (examples: Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, Mike Myers, a Xenomorph, etc.) who would it be?Okay I haven’t seen any of these kinds of movies, but wasn’t there a movie where this girl ended up kinda-befriending Xenomorphs?? Bc in that case I’d go with a Xenomorph.26. Do you think science is flawed?To an extent. I’m gonna make an entire post about this subject, because I my views are different based on different situations.27. The age old question: what came first, the chicken or the egg?I mean,,,chickens are the closest relatives to dinosaurs, and dinosaurs laid eggs, so obviously the egg.28. Any book recommendations?The Plague Dogs by Richard Adams (the same man that wrote Watership Down!) It’s my favorite book, I will warn that it has gore, both human and animal death, animal abuse, and even mental illness?? (There’s a character that experiences delusions and hallucinations and stuff like that but he’s not demonized at all. There are outdated terms to describe him at times though, the book was written in the 1970s so there’s another warning.)29. Ever go through an “embarrassing” fandom phase? (You know the ones.)Anime and Vocaloid (even though I will always low-key love Vocaloid with my entire being.)30. Favorite superhero?Used to be Batman, but now it’s Black Panther. One movie was more powerful than years of attachment and nostalgia regarding another character. I really hope I get buy a lot of the comics soon, I need money.31. If there was any outdated meme you could bring back, what would it be?Any memes from the past that were focused on just having good fun. Stuff like the “Just Do It” and John Cena prank call, you know those kinda memes. Less “cringe compilations” and more of those please. 32. If there was one holiday you could get rid of, what would it be?Columbus Day, I don’t even have to think twice about that. Replace it with Indigenous People’s Day. Genocide should never be celebrated, I can’t believe we live in a world where that’s a controversial statement.33. Thoughts on the education system where you live?It’s a flaming heap of garbage.34. What would you do for a Klondike bar?Buy one at the store or something if I want one, duh.35. What’s a question you hate being asked?“How can you be ____ if you’re Christian?” Ugh.36. What’s the worst nightmare you’ve ever had?I don’t feel comfortable talking about it openly, because a lot of them are REALLY bad ones and I only feel comfortable talking about a few with friends though personal messaging.37. Worst villain you can think of? They can be from anything.Scourge from Warrior Cats HOLY FRICK HHH38. A reverse of the last question, the worst hero you can think of?There’s definitely a worse hero that’s not coming to mind but the worst one I can think of is Beck from Mighty No. 9.39. Look left to you. The first thing you see is what you use to fight the devil. What is it?A gigantic blanket. Welp.40. Does rainy weather make you happy or sad?Happy, probably bc rain is fairly common where I live and I associate it with home.Whew! That took a while but it was fun. Thank you so much love 💜💙💜💙💜💙 I hope you’re doing well!

[avpdnoisearchive]

You you know anything (movies, books, TV shows, comics, hell even fanfiction) that have characters written with avpd traits? It doesn't have to be confirmed or intentional, the traits just have to be there.

this is literally my lifelong quest. i ALWAYS search for characters with avoidant traits and they are very few and far between.

there are a few i can think of though! keep in mind i haven’t thought very hard abt this - just like you said, i’ve noticed the traits are there. since a lot of the struggle of avpd is internal, the only external things i could really note is that they’re solitary/don’t have many friends and they sometimes react strongly to criticism? i think there’s something in the nature of avpd that makes authors want to stray away from them, since there would be problems with interactions between characters and avoidants stay away from the action. anyway here are a few that i think show some traits:

kiki (kiki’s delivery service - movie)

mikasa (attack on titan - anime)

jack (mass effect 2 - video game)

chloe price (life is strange - video game)

cole (dragon age: inquisition - video game)

joel (eternal sunshine of the spotless mind - movie)

belle (beauty and the beast)

darcy (pride and prejudice - book)

stevens (remains of the day - book) (i didn’t love this book tho)

maybe heathcliff?? (from wuthering heights) he’s so despicable though i don’t wanna list him as proper representation

honourable mentions (sorta):

the mcelroy brothers just started a new dnd campaign on their podcast the adventure zone and one of the characters - nadia i think her name is - seems pretty avoidant. i just listened to it today and all they were doing was introducing the characters but i got pretty excited bc travis described her as being bad w social stuff and not having any friends (although she prefers being like that)

since u mentioned fanfiction.. this is weird but if you’re not repulsed by the youtubers dan and phil i wrote one where i pretty much gave phil avpd. i never say it explicitly but it’s told from his point of view and that fic is Projection City. here it is in case you’re at all interested? there’s explicit descriptions of him feeling like he can’t make friends and he thinks he’s inferior which were v cathartic to write (you don’t necessarily have to like dan and phil i guess, it’s an AU so it could just be read as a cute lil romance)

wikipedia has a list here, but i haven’t watched any of them.

i’ve seen shinji from evangelion mentioned? i haven’t watched that anime all the way through but if i recall i think he’s pretty avoidant

the main way that i deal with the dearth of avoidant characters is to give my ocs avpd or avoidant traits. it’s VERY cathartic and i recommend it. i genuinely almost wanted to list my ocs here bc they’d be such good representation fjkhsdfkajs. i think characters can totally have avpd and still be really interesting and compelling characters in a story!! it’s such a shame that there aren’t too many characters like us out there in stories. in general it seems like ppl think we’re too weird for stories about nts and too boring for stories about mentally ill people. it’s such a shame!!!

if anyone can think any other characters, reply to this or shoot me an ask. me (and anon probably) are both desperate for avpd characters!!