#I wanna take a Tbreak cus I feel like that doesn't help
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#I need a hug#I just feel like hopeless shit tbh#I wanna do something to cheer myself up but I'm just so depressed nothing feels worth it#I don't have any crochet inspiration#my hair is in a cloth so makeup would look good/feel worth it#anything I wanna write is sad#I just want something to make me happy rn but I'm not gonna get it :(#I don't even have the will power to do basic skin care rn#usually I feel a lil better after but ugh#I just...don't feel like i care about anything#I wish I could go completely nonverbal so that I wouldn't anger the people around me#all my life is consistent of is listening to people but no one listens to me#my dad thinks we talk a lot but really it's HIM talking and me going 'yeah' every now and then#he says its not true but it is#I never get to talk to anyone I never get to go off into my autistic rants like he does#my moods really fluctuating between feeling nothing and feeling like I need to c*t and d*e#I need a hug that I don't have to fucking ask for........#I'm either dazing and nothing or I'm barely holding in my tears#I wanna take a Tbreak cus I feel like that doesn't help#but it's really hard to NOT smoke when in pain#I dunno man my life just feels like it's never getting better.#I wanna be saved but that's never happening I'm not pretty enough to even hope that someone will finally give me my big break#feeling just hurts I wanna shut off but it's driving me mad
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