#I wanna scream 🙃
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I gotta get this out of my brainrot,
THEMM:
Reminds me a lot aboutt THEMMM 😭💖:
LIKEEE THEIR DYNAMICSS???😭😭💖
Literally Jelsa in Kdrama universe 🙂🙏
God help me pls I wanna make Jelsa fanart based on this kdrama haha (work so busy i barely have time to draw) 😭
Watch the series on Netflix guys it's 'Hometown Cha Cha Cha' it's very light n fun aaa 🥲💖🔥
#strict x carefree???#jelsa#aaaaaa#best kdrama#i wanna rewatch lol#they very much screams JELSA in another life 🙃🙂🙌
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Saturday, December 7th 2024
The world keeps spinning without me ✨
#over being business casual atm#over being well put together in general#I wanna scream & yell & cry#🙃🙃🙃#I hate it here#here being earth#me#ootd#outfit
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Fuck this shit ..
I didn't passed the public policy exam, but I studied ....😭😭😭😭
I'm so fucking done with this shit 😖😖😖
Now I have to do on oral exam 😭😭😭
I really really hoped that I would pass it 😭😭
I want to hurt myself so bad for failing 😭😩
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#so fucking irritated#this powerpoint i have to do?#has NOTHING TO DO with what was discussed in the modules this week#i have to do a whole powerpoint about healthcare fraud and abuse#which were not explicity discussed#it was mostly privacy of information/hipaa/medical records and laws about like domestic violence???#and this is the same class where i dont do super great on the exams and the discussions dont really make sense#im so mad#im mad at myself#AND im mad at this fucking teacher because wtf#every single week i am using sources for the discussion posts that arent what she provided and do you know why?#because they are almsot always inadequate or not even relating to what she wants us to discuss#🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃#just a few more weeks of this#i can do it#right?#yeah. i can do it.#but please get dont let my other classes be like this#always#i wanna scream
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sometimes i wanna run away from my family AND my boyfriend.
start a new life somewhere where no one knows who tf i am.
#come home to a stressful house and get called by my stressful bf.#my brother arguing with my mom about keeping the kittens (he wants to get rid of them all now??? he doesnt even take care of them)#and the bf and i are supposed to go on vacation this weekend but it's going to be in the 70s (degrees)#and it's supposed to rain sunday#and he's bitching that it's going to be too cold to be on the beach#we're going for 5 days 🙃 only chance of rain sundau#sunday.#and he's acting like it's doing too ruin the whole vacation#it's labor day weekend you know how many people are going to be at the shore 🙃🙃🙃🙃#and my parents treat my brother like he's 15 still.#i'm about to scream#i really just wanna go on vacation by my fucking self to get away from all of.them#my mom is now worried about the racoons outside 🙃#bunch of fucking wackos i gotta deal with i can't do it any more.#ignore spelling mistakes i am livid#and it's exhausting#thisisme
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I just wanna listen to music ragged with rage and emotional desperation. But it's kinda hard to search for that sorta thing.
#bc i guess i just Associate that sorta thing with screamo and i dont like screamo#like funeral or brutus both by the buttress are sung with so much rage and i want that#i too want to rage. i didnt get a lotta sleep last night#bc sometimes i make bad choices lol#and everytime i search like songs to rage to its like. no. u dont get it. i want songs that make me wanna start screaming and wacking#things with sticks. ya kno. a very common and universal feeling#listen. i apparently deleted a bunch of info off a backup hard drive today. like bro y didnt u tell me to b careful???#i picked it up like ok i gotta make it work on this old ass computer. time to clear the disk space and reformat#so rip whatever was on there i guess. no used crying abt it now. that bitch is empty#hhhhh ive got that i didnt sleep feel where ur brain feels like its peeling away from ur skull#i need to go run. burn away my ✨️ RAGE✨️#just gotta wait like an hr 🙃 unless i get call3d into a meeting rip#unrelated
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#apparently I’m not done being mad about this I’m sorry guys I gotta vent#my dad is like an ox and never sick and like not very understanding with health issues/general illness#which you’d think he would have been after having me the super sickly child with a ton of health issues but no#we have a positive Covid case in the house and I have the same fucking symptoms I just started later#I have taken two tests- one yesterday and one today#and he yelled at me saying I’m wasting tests and also that I’m apparently fine which like#even if I somehow don’t catch covid I’m still sick but okay dad 🫠#if it helps put things into a better perspective… did yall know that back in November after I had my 3rd fucking endometriosis surgery#he asked why I was off work for two weeks and why I didn’t go back the day after surgery?#like I had had this surgery twice before and at home recovery was also two weeks both those times#but moreover like sir I have 3 incisions in my abdomen and my job requires me to left 50lbs???#at which point he still insisted I was fine and was just being ‘dramatic’ 🙃#I wanna fucking scream#I’m lissed the fuck off#did yall know he nearly got me killed once because I had neurovirus and he refused to take me to the er?#I eventually lost consciousness from severe dehydration- he thought I was sleeping and continued to argue with my mom that I was fine 🫠#they eventually took me but I was unconscious for several hours and it took five bags of iv fluid for me to regain consciousness#and the doctor estimated I was about two hours away from death so like#yeah#if that gives yall a better idea of the shit I’m putting up with#I have like zero tolerance for dealing with his bullshit when I’m sick#it’s the trauma from not fucking being believed for years of my life about any of my illnesses#and like also the fucking almost dying part#fun times 🫠#I’m sorry I’m ranting so much today I’m just really fucking done and have no other outlet 🙃
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🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
#also would like to say this is my first time getting it in how many years#kept telling my sister in law the vacation was the first time I’ve been out and in crowds since covid#and guess what I get#🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃#I wanna scream#shut up rosie
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Colour changes my beloathed
#PLEASE I FIGURED OUT HOW TO DO THEM BUT THATS SO ANNOYING#‘make sure to use the invisible colour change method’ SIR I DONT KNOW HOW TO COLOUR CHANGE IN GENERAL WHAG DO YOU MEAN#WHY HAVE I DONT THIS TO MYSELF#EVERY OTHER PART OF THIS PATTERN HAS COLOR CHANGES#I’ve accepted the ears will be slightly uneven I’m not smart enough for this#and I have to freehand a whole section cause i only have Part of the pattern I would need#so I have to figure out how to crochet tentacles. somehow.#I think we’ve got a cthulu plush pattern somewhere so hopefully that one’s roughly right for the scale I need????#im loosing it#I don’t have eyes for this poor fucker either cause I was like hmm I kinda wanna use buttons tho :/#and I don’t have safety eyes in the right size ANYWAYS#and considering how much I struggled making a Nose!!!! idk how im gettin those fuckers on there!!!!#anyways. I have been crocheting for roughly the past four hours straight 🙃#im getting this ear on. finishing the other. and then going for a walk#cause otherwise I might Scream
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i got to see four of my biggest heroes in person, relatively close-up recently :)
#myevilposts#got to see fob but not saying which date bc i don't wanna doxx myself somehow 🙃#i was screaming and crying like i was being torn limb from limb though 👍#AND LIKE UGHHHHH the magic 8 ball song was one of my faves so like i fucking won.#it was sooooooooo much fun i have never screamed or cried so much in so short a period of time. tbh!!!!!!!!!!!#my favorite part was when i went to the fall out boy concert to see fall out boy and fall out boy came out and played fall out boy songs#beforehand i was thinking like hmm i'm probably going to cry if they play 'fake out' and they're almost definitely going to play it#so there's a pretty good chance i'm going to cry. then they come out and start playing 'love from the other side'#and i burst into tears 😭😭😭😭#then when they actually do get around to playing 'fake out' i start full force sobbing. like 'my bestie just got murdered in front of me'#levels of wailing and crying.#the thing is that i can almost guarantee i was not the only person crying at the fob show. and i am not the first nor last person#to cry over seeing fob live. guaranteed.#DEFINITELY wasn't the only person screaming my head off at least!!!!!#fall out boy
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i literally hate my job i want to quit i’m so done with this
#having kids literally attack me day after day with no support from the directors and also feeling awful because i don’t want to upset the#kids either but like today the one boy he had to wash his hands cuz he literally put them in the urinal and he was punching me and stuff#that he didn’t wanna do it so i closed the door so i could get some hand sanitizer or wipes instead and he got upset (maybe he felt trapped)#which i understand but like nothing else i can do so now this kid hates me but i’m the one who is getting punched and scratched and whatever#literally every day and i know they’re kids but im really fckjjnf tired of this#have them scream and throw things at me and the other teachers and take them to the directors only for them to be sent right back to class#and I’m literally not trained for this and they don’t tell their parents anything so we get literally no help like if a kid is having a hard#time and acts out aggressively I understand it’s maybe not something they can control but then they should maybe be at a school that can#give them the help they need because I’m doing my best but I can only do so much and I didn’t want to make this kid upset or angry but also#he can’t go eat food and touch the other kids and so on with hands he put in the urinal 🙃🙃🙃#I want to quit I’m so f king tired of this sjir#delete later
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i am having such a "i have to do everything my god damn self on this campus" moment rn
i have one person helping me and i appreciate them a lot, for real, but also we are only two people 😭
#they speak#vent#delete later#screaming crying throwing things etc#why is it so hard to get people to PARTICIPATE#people here talk such a big game about community and mutual aid#but then when we're like 'come to our weekly meeting where we talk about issues affecting students'#no one shows 🙃#i don't wanna blame any individuals#i think it's a broader problem#but like goddamn#YOU CANT DO MUTUAL AID WITH 3 PEOPLE
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why should I be at work when I could be at home working on my byler hsm fic 🙄
#i say things#I sooooo don’t wanna be at work lmao I just mentally feel miserable#at least I got to be a ‘per my last email’ bitch this morning#that’s a little fun happy silly#but ugh. I’m so tired. did not catch up on sleep at all this weekend#wish I could afford to only work 4 days a week 🙃#it would do WONDERS on my mental health jfc#just gotta hold out until mid april for my week off…….. only a few weeks away….. I can do it#I will drag my feet kicking and screaming but. I will make it
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Since these new neighbours have moved I've almost always been rudely awakened by them every Saturday 😭
#there's always at least one child screaming and the sound of an overstrained lawnmower trying to work#tbf they usually happen at perfectly normal hours of day but Saturday is usually my rest in extra day#and I've got my period so i just wanna sleep#but even with earplugs it seems impossible#i guess i can do shit instead of sleeping 🫠🙃#my head hurts#so much for 420 day lol
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Why do I love my job? Why am I literally excited to go to work? This objectively sucks ass.
#we’re understaffed tonight 🙃#I am so overwhelmed I wanna die and I know when I go back in from break we’re still gonna be behind on orders if not more behind#we started cleaning the friers two hours ago and have managed to clean 1/6#it’d honestly probably be fine if I were with my usual closing squad but I don’t have a rhythm the people I’m working with tonight#and I’ll never get to close with my normal squad again because one of them left for an internship ;—;#screaming into the void#I am still somehow not hating this though#like yeah it sucks and I hate it a little bit but I’d rather be here in this hell instead of at another job#so we’re appreciating what we’ve got
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#I’m having a day 🙃#I’m scheduled for 51.5 hours this week at work and I’m dying#came home and got a letter in the mail saying my medical leave for my surgery next year has been denied#reason for denial: didn’t turn in the medical paperwork required by doctor#the due date for said paperwork is in fucking March#I even called and confirmed that that’s when it was due and that I had properly filled out everything else#I wanna scream#I called already to be like wtf and the person helping me was also like wtf#so apparently someone who can help further is gonna call me tomorrow to get this fixed but like#I’m so stressed I didn’t need this on top#and it’s like medically necessary surgery so I don’t fucking know#my manager warned me the company that handles this might try something like this#so the plan is if they continue to deny me I’m just gonna take personal leave rather than medical#but like wtf this whole thing is dumb#I really don’t want to leave but also this surgery is more important than this job I’ll fucking quit if I have to#but I would like to not do that#mad mad I’m so mad omfggggggggggg D:<
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