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uhgoodmoni · 4 years ago

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Our Clock is Ticking | KTH

After a post Christmas breakup with his girlfriend Taehyung is celebrating New Years alone in a hotel. The ball drops, yet 2021 doesn’t come.

Warnings: angst and some fluff

Ao3 - Wattpad

(Taehyung POV)

I pull my lips together in a frown, glancing down at the last text I sent.

‘Merry Christmas I guess’

‘Read at 1:34 am’

A deep sigh heaves from my chest. Yeah. Merry fucking Christmas and a Happy New Year. Stuck in an unfamiliar country in an unfamiliar town by my damn self. Guess we picked the perfect time to pick a fight. I bring my eyes to the clock. It’s 5:00 pm on New Year’s Eve. I could be at home with the rest of the boys but nooo. She had to drag me out to see her damn family and then pick a fight with me so I’m stuck spending the holiday alone.

My head falls back against the couch. What the fuck am I going to do now? It’s already passed the new year in Korea, but maybe I’ll call someone. Jimin… Yoongi. I don’t know. What would I even say? Hey, Mara and I broke up yesterday, and now I’m alone on New Years. Tch. Yeah. As much as I’d love to spill my guts out to them I’ve cried so much this week I feel just like shit. At this point, I just want to fly back home.

Luckily I was able to snag a flight back to Seoul for tomorrow. Not that it didn’t cost a lot, but there’s no way I’m spending another day here to wallow in my self-pity.

The phone screen still shines up in my eyes and I look one more time. A tiny circular picture of her sits at the top of our text. Her tongue stuck out to touch the camera when I took the photo. Silly.

When I take that flight tomorrow, will I ever see her again? I grind my teeth together, my thumb pressing against the power button. Despite how much anger is burning inside me, I hope the answer is yes.

‘I’ll be happier if I lived this next year without you.’ She really said that. I roll over onto my side, curling up on the cushions. She’s probably right. I honestly did make everything harder for her. She was always so understanding though. I wonder if she even meant it.

I sniff, wiping at a stray tear I hadn’t noticed. I’d like to think that she didn’t mean it. That she was just angry and it spilled out after all the dumb shit I said. Or what maybe I didn’t say. A shaky breath leaves my body, and my eyes clench shut. Oh, why can't I stop thinking about it?

Maybe she did mean it. I had never seen her say something with more conviction and anger, her body shook as she had screamed it at me. Her face had gone red like the wine we were drinking. I’m sure that fueled our anger too. But there had to be some backing behind her words. Even if this fight had been the last straw there were so many feelings leading up to this. Every night she spent waiting up for me. How could I not see her patience running out? Slowly but surely our clock had been ticking. Every time we greeted each other, said goodbye, kissed. Had her patience been running out then too?

Even I knew we weren’t fine. Fuck. I should have said something. Maybe I didn’t tell her how much she means to me often enough. Probably not. Of course, she cracked for the holidays. But did she really have to be so cruel?

I glance up from the couch, feeling the vibrations of a phone call. Damnit, I was hoping to avoid talking to anyone for the whole night. Should have figured, they are probably missing me. I sigh looking at the contact. Hoba hyung, a facetime. Not even just a voice call. Internally I groan looking myself in the reflection on my screen and making sure I don’t look like the shit I feel like.

After a deep breath, I answer the call. “Heyyy hyung…” I try and push away everything that has happened. If I tell him he’ll just be worried for no reason.

“Taeee, Happy New Year.” I smile lightly looking at him. He looks tired cause he probably stayed up all night.

I grin, trying to hide away the frown that was stuck on my face. “Hobaa why are you awake so early?” He raises an eyebrow and just shakes his head.

“Just am I guess, and knew you’d be awake so I wanted to call you. How’s the holiday with the missus?”

It’s awful. I said something inconsiderate and ruined the whole thing. We were drinking and I took her defensiveness as an attack on me. Maybe it was maybe it wasn’t. Doesn’t matter. We broke up and she said she doesn’t want to spend another year of her life with me. Now I’m sad and alone on New Years’ Eve. Probably won’t even watch the ball drop. Soak up my misery. I still have that bottle of wine I bought.

At least that’s what I wanted to tell him. And I will. Eventually. Just not today.

“She’s with the fam they are cooking in the kitchen.” I grin and he seems satisfied with that. Hobi is always fooled by my lies. Part of me wished that Jimin or Yoongi had called. They’d be able to call out my bullshit…

“Well, I shouldn’t bother you then you better go help…”

“Yeah… well, how was your night last night?” I say, trying to get him to stay on the call a little longer. Damn, I wish I could go home.

“You know… the usual. Jin passed out right after midnight. Me too.” He giggles. “But the others I guess you could say partied. Not really but we had fun.” I smile at this. Wish I had been there with them.

“Wish I had been there.” I sigh, but smile softly to him, hoping to not reveal how I really feel.

“No, you don’t silly. Go have fun!” He winks to me, “You’ll see us in a couple days anyway.”

“You’re right.” I nod not feeling like telling him I’ll actually be on my way back tomorrow. It stays silent for a moment as he smiles up to me.

“Stay safe and tell Mara I say hi!” He waves and I only nod.

“Bye.”

“Bye.” He says and hangs up. Well… I look at the clock seeing it’s only been about ten minutes since I last checked the time. It’s gonna be a long night.

My palms press into my skull. Trying to nullify the ache resonating in the back of my head. Oh shit. I groan, shielding my eyes as I tentatively open them. Trying to bring myself to life I lick my lips, the taste of that wine leftover on my breath. I cringe, taking a deep breath. Did I really end up drinking last night? I thought that wasn’t the plan. I lift my head from my pillow seeing the bottle resting on the counter. Still full. I swear I could remember at least drinking at least a glass though. Except now I no longer taste the wine on my tongue. As if it had never been there in the first place.

I exhale and plop my head back down. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. Fuck.

Again I lift my head up, searching for my phone on it’s charger. What time is it? Oh God what if I slept too late and missed my alarm.

2:34 pm. Fuck.

I pull up my ticket on my phone. 4:30 pm. Could I make it in time? Might as well try… I read over the confirmation email.

Thank you for your purchase… Your flight is for 1/1/2021 4:30 pm.

I toss myself from the bed, heading to my suitcase. Should I change? Do I have time? At least I should brush my teeth. I flick through the email, feeling like I’m forgetting something as I shuffle to the bathroom.

Sent at 2:00 pm.

I squint my eyes at this. Specifically remembering that I got this email yesterday and not today. Maybe it’s like a reminder. I shrug and wet my toothbrush.

An alarm sounds from my phone as I set it down making me jump. I scrunch up my face remembering I had a headache, but it’s not really bothering me anymore.

I look at the alarm… a reminder I set for myself. But it was supposed to go off yesterday. It did go off yesterday.

Reminder: flight tomorrow leave by 1:30.

I shake my head, lifting my head to the mirror. I look like shit, but I have this whole week let's be honest. Setting my toothbrush down I pull up my calendar. Did I get it wrong or something? No, my flight confirmation definitely says the first.

I glance at the little red dot on the calendar indicating the date. 12/31/2020. Pressing my lips into each other, I raise an eyebrow staring at the screen for a minute. It has to be wrong. I almost laugh to myself. Am I crazy?

I check the time again on my phone. 2:40 Thursday, December 31.

Have I completely mixed up the dates? I could swear that yesterday was New Years Eve. I push my hair back, looking back into the mirror. Though I didn’t watch the ball drop so maybe I was just mistaken.

Just to be sure, I look up the airport’s number, and give them a call. There’s no chance I’m missing the flight. After a confusing phone call they confirm my suspicions. My flight isn’t until tomorrow. Feeling very confused I finish brushing my teeth and start running the shower. How could I have mistaken yesterday for New Years Eve? I guess it happens. But I so clearly remember the date. Hoseok even called me wishing for me to have a good night. Had I imagined that as well?

After being refreshed from the heat of the shower I check my phone’s history. No call from Hoseok, which means I must have been in a daze of grief. Still, It doesn’t feel right. The call is so fresh in my mind.

I look to the clock after cleaning up my room. It was a mess. I hadn’t picked anything up and would have had to pack last minute in the morning if I left it that way. Despite wishing I was on that plane back to Seoul right now. I feel much better than I did yesterday. I should stay productive, keep my mind off things.

Time has gone by particularly slow today. Even after cleaning up myself and packing for tomorrow. I’ve been avoiding my feelings all day. I resorted to playing on Weverse and messing with Duolingo. Despite wanting to write, I knew that I would just dig myself into a hole.

Maybe this time around I’ll call Hoseok. I don’t want to wake him up though. It’s still early and I know he’ll want to sleep in after the late night last night.

‘You awake?’ I text the group chat. Maybe Jin or I don’t know, anyone to save me from my thoughts will answer. Though, maybe it’s a good idea to talk about it with one of them. Maybe they could tell me what to do. Ugh, it’s so confusing. Even though Mara said she never wants to see me again I doubt that she really meant that. Right? I certainly don’t want that to be the last time we ever see one another. I swallow. She was so angry. So upset. Her hands shook as the tears streamed down her face, and she sniffed trying to hold back the storm behind her eyes. And I just stood there. Like a jackass. A deer in headlights. Didn’t cry. I couldn’t, I didn’t want to react, cause I thought she was overreacting. She shouldn’t have cared so much about what I said. It wasn’t meant to make her so upset.

My face finds the palms of my hands. I’m so dumb. What the fuck possessed me to be such an asshole? All she wanted was for me to care and I didn’t. But I do. I really do. My cheeks form a blush as my face heats from the tears. I press into my temples willing myself not to cry. Stupid.

Feeling the buzzing of my phone, I look down. It’s Hoseok, and I huff before answering.

“Hey Tae bear!” He greets happily in my ear. I try to smile but I just want to be with him and not on this dumb call. Instead of being alone I wish I was home.

My eyes start to water and a horrible feeling starts crawling up my throat. I know that if I try to speak I’ll just…

“Are you there?”

I swallow, trying to push back this feeling. But I can’t, It’s pushing back. Tears prick at my eyes, and I just want Hoseok to be here to hold me. Despite trying so hard to hold the tears in, the feeling overwhelms me and washes over me. I heave out a hard sob. Revealing a feeling I had been holding back all day. My breaths are fast and choppy as the tears roll, and I cling to the phone curling my knees into my abdomen.

“Tae… Are you okay?” He sounds worried. I try to slow my breaths and answer him but I can’t. It just. I squeeze my fists. I hate this feeling.

The stream of tears doesn’t stop as I hug myself closer. “Sorry…” I barely hiccup out.

“Taehyung are you okay? Are you hurt? What’s happening?” I shake my head, pressing my eyes into my knees. The tears soak at my pants and I take a deep breath, sighing out slowly to try and relax.

“I’m sorry Hobi…” I sniffed, should have figured that would have happened. Wiping away at my face with my shirt sleeves, I start to explain. “Mara and I... it’s over.” I bite my cheek to hold my composure.

“Tae what happened?” he asks, sounding confused. Great, I shake my head. I just want to be with him. I don’t want to have to deal with this phone call. “I told her she doesn’t do enough.” I deadpan, taking in my own words myself. “I said that.” My heart twists, causing more tears to wring out from my eyes. Knowing now how it made her feel. Coming from the mouth from someone she loves. I meant it lightheartedly, but that’s no excuse now. I know her better than that. She does more than enough. God I hope she knows that. I hope that’s why she screamed at me. “What do you mean?” He practically shouts, but I can tell he’s trying to remain calm. “What happened? That doesn’t make any sense. When?”

I sigh, “Like a week ago…”

He interrupts before I can continue, “Where are you? Why didn’t you call?”

“I’m fine, I’m at a hotel and I’m flying back tomorrow.”

He sighs, “What happened? You guys…”

“It was dumb. I said something dumb.” I groan, pushing my hair out of my face. “It just spiraled after that cause we were drinking and I thought she was overreacting cause I didn’t mean what I said.” Hobi listens as I go on, “ I could tell that it upset her but I didn’t care, cause I didn’t mean it like that. I should have immediately apologized. No. I shouldn’t have said it at all.”

“Why don’t you call her and tell her this?”

I shake my head knowing he can’t see me. “She said she doesn’t want to be with me another year of her life.” It takes a lot to swallow that down. I really toppled the jenga tower. Instead of fixing the problem all I did was be inconsiderate and ruin everything. I’d like to blame the alcohol but it’s far too late for that. Not that she would believe me but truly it was a joke. My shoulders fall, a misunderstanding that I was too petty to reverse.

“Oh.” He says plainly, leaving both of us in silence. Damn. Now I feel like shit. I should have waited to tell him. Now he’s just gonna worry too much. I could have waited to tell him.

“Sorry, I’m fine really I’ll be coming home tomorrow. I just want to be with you guys again.”

Hoseok sighs, “Tae don’t say you’re fine if you’re not... It’s okay, you’ve been with Mara over two years. You’re definitely not going to be fine.” A hot tear runs down my cheek, and I can tell my face is swollen. “Why don’t you stay on the phone with me and later all of the guys and us will be there for the ball drop.”

“No, no…” I mutter, knowing that they’ll all just worry their heads off. “I’ll wait to talk to the others when I get home. I think I just want to sleep early and get this day over with.” What a hell of a way to start the year, I sigh.

“Do you want to stay on the call?” He asks, and I really contemplate this one for a while.

My breathing is shaky as I agree, “Just till I fall asleep, thanks hyung.”

I slowly open my eyes, crusty, and still swollen from last night. The hotel room is lit up around the curtains. My alarm didn’t go off again? My hand wanders to the nightstand to pick up my phone.

3:00 pm. My eyes widen and my heart jumps up with me in bed. Are you fucking kidding me? How in the hell did I sleep that long? Oh, God. There’s literally no way I’d make the flight. Why didn’t my alarms work? I stare at the time, wishing it would magically change to a couple hours earlier. How is it already the afternoon? Was I really that tired?

Not even bothering to stand I press my cheek into my palm. What the fuck? My teeth grind together. Why? After all of this shit. Why now? Can’t I just have one God damn easy day?

Is it possible to cancel my flight ticket this late? I should at least try. Maybe there will be some open tickets on a later flight. Though I highly doubt it as it’s New Year’s day and everyone is going home. God, I’ll be lucky to find a flight this week at all, I barely found this one.

On my lap my phone pings. I look down expecting maybe Hoseok.

Mara… Can I call you?

Immediately my stomach begins to spin. What could she have to say to me? I try to relax as I stare at the text. She’s already said the worst so it can’t be anything bad? Even if she tried apologizing I just... I fucked up. Would she forgive me?

After a moment I text her back, now anxiously awaiting her call. I hope she wants to talk it over. I hope that I can apologize. I hope she didn’t mean what she said. The phone rings, but I give it a moment before I answer. Stupid. I don’t want to seem desperate, but I am.

“Hey this is so out of nowhere but what day is it?” She says, sounding completely normal. Like we had just been talking not that long ago. Like we had spent Christmas and this entire week together. What day is it? That’s what she's calling for?

I stifle a sigh, glancing at my phone’s calendar, “What do you mean? It’s the fi…” The phone says the same thing it did yesterday. 12/31/20. “No way…”

She gives an exhausted laugh. “I am going crazy over here… I’ve celebrated New Years’ twice, and this morning my dad asks if I’m ready for 2021. Please tell me I’m crazy.”

“Uh that's strange,” I scratch my head. Holy shit does that mean the other day I hadn’t been imagining it? That I really had already been through the 31st. Today is the third New Years’ Eve. “I… I don’t know what to say other…”

“Damn. I’m sorry Tae. I shouldn’t have called. This was dumb and I sound so stupid. I’m sorry I should leave you be…” I shake my head as if she could see, “hey, wait, wait, wait. You didn’t let me finish. Genuinely the same thing has happened to me but I thought I was just mistaken because I went to sleep early.”

She huffs, laughing out of relief, “Ha, I thought I was still drunk from the night before…”

“Sooo, what does this even mean?” I ask knowing she doesn’t know the answer.

“Well, my parents don’t seem to notice so I don’t really know.”

“Hoseok is the same way…” I add, wondering if he’ll call me again today. Shit does this mean I still have a flight tomorrow? If tomorrow ever comes. What the fuck.

“Sorry again, I don’t really know why I called you…” I frown at her words, “I… I guess you’re the only other person I could really ask.” Nothing makes any sense, and my head starts to pound from my thoughts jumbling in my head.

“It’s okay, I… don’t mind.” I cringe, unsure of what else to say. She doesn’t respond right away, probably thinking the same thing. It’s a heavy moment. There’s so much to say but neither of us are speaking. Even though she isn’t saying anything I can only imagine how she looks. She’s probably curled up on the couch in her pj’s, probably making the same face I am. Just sad. Which is dumb, if we’re both sad then obviously the argument shouldn’t have happened.

“Well, if this happens again I guess we are just fucked.” She kind of laughs, making me smile, but my face drops again as she continues, “I’ll leave you be then… Happy New Year’s Tae.”

“Mara…” The buzz of the phone line lets me know she hasn’t hung up. I close my eyes, trying to formulate my thoughts before I open my mouth. “I’m sorry.” I shake my head, feeling stupid, “You are more than enough, I…” My words get caught in my throat and I can’t finish my sentence.

“Me too.” She mutters.

I sniff, “Can we talk… like in person.” “I’ll try and tell my parents that talking to you is more important than the ball dropping.” She sighs, and regret washes over me. Her parents probably hate me. They had been in the house during the argument. My eyes fall to the floor. I really just fucked it up. “Where even are you?”

“Oh, this Hilton near a movie theater I think.”

“I shouldn’t have sent you out. I’m really sorry Tae, it’s probably not safe for you to just be in a hotel.”

I almost laugh, at least I know she’s worried about me. “I’m a grown man…”

“Tch I know it’s just… I shouldn’t have let you leave in a city you’ve never been okay.” After another moment, “Well I’ll come later. Just text me your room number yeah?”

I hum in answer and she hangs up. That went a lot better than I expected it to go.

As I step towards the door, I swipe my hands down my pant legs, hoping my hands aren’t sweaty, and hoping I don’t look nervous myself. God that shouldn’t even matter. Clearing my mind, I pull open the door to see Mara standing there awkwardly, with her hands folded together.

“Hey.” I mumble, leaning against the wall to make room for her in the tight entrance, gesturing for her to come in. Her eyes are shielded by her hair as she walks past me, but she wasn’t looking up at me anyway. After closing the door behind us we silently walk over to the couch, each taking a seat. In my lap my hands fumble with each other, and I bite down my lip. I guess it’s a bit more awkward trying to find the right words in person.

I nod a couple times, managing to psych myself up to start the conversation. “I… I’m really sorry Mara.” The words come out breathy as it finally feels right to say them to her.

She lifts her pointed chin to me with a small smile, shaking her head. “I accept your apology, and I’m sorry I took it too seriously.” Her body turns towards mine as she continues, “I’m not even sure why it really got me that mad because it was a dumb joke and it just hurt my feelings.”

“That's all that really matters, I hurt your feelings and that's a good enough reason to apologize.” I finally make eye contact, feeling comfortable talking to her again. Those eyes are just the same as they’ve always been. She’s not cruel. She has a kind heart and her eyes show that. Why am I acting a fool?

“If anyone should apologize…” She sighs looking around the room, “It’s me.” I look down at my hands still thinking. “God.” She sniffs, and I immediately bring my face up to see her crying. “That's such an awful thing to say.” She chokes out, hands covering her face. My mouth drops and I do what I would normally, scooch closer to her and wrap my arm around her. Her head continues to shake in disappointment with herself.

“Listen it’s…”

“No!” She pushes me away, looking at me, her eyes reddening already. “It’s not okay.” Her eyes squeeze shut, tears rolling down her cheek. Even if she did say it, my heart still pangs looking at her like this. “I… I didn’t mean it.” She shakes her head, frantically wiping at her face. “I can’t even believe that those words came out of my mouth.” Her face becomes hidden as she buries it away in her hands.

I turn my head away from her, unsure of what to say. It’s not like I can say I knew she didn’t mean it, because that would be a lie. I still feel like deep down she feels like her life would be easier without me. And honestly it probably would.

“Maybe you’re right though.” I whisper, surprised that the words came out of my mouth. I certainly didn’t mean them to, but they did. They just slipped, like the tears I hadn’t noticed forming in my eyes. I roll my eyes, wiping them away. No use in feeling pitiful. What was I to expect with this lifestyle? Maybe I’m just meant to be alone during this time.

“No… no.” She sniffles, realizing that her words had taken hold. “Oh Tae,” She sobbed, pushing herself into my chest. “I need you in my life. I can’t express how much you mean to me. I really didn’t mean it. I can’t even believe I said that.” Her tears soak through the fabric and I barely hug her back. Even if she wants me back in her life there has to be some backing behind her words. Moments of unhappiness.

“Tae listen to me.” Her fingers grasp at my collar, bringing my attention to her. Her brows were furrowed in anger as she pressed her fists into my chest. “I love you. There’s no one like you. I…”

My eyes roll away from her, doubtful. The tears flowed smoothly now, there was no stopping them. I press my fingers into my eyes, trying to see through the tears. It just doesn’t make any sense why she would say that and not mean it. “T… there has to be a reason.” I hiccup, attempting to push her away from me. “There has to be a reason you said it.” I blubber, hiding my face in my shirt sleeve. Wishing I could stop crying. Wishing I believed her.

I feel her wrapping herself around me, and taking my hands away from my face. Weakly I let them drop to my sides. Letting my lashes stick together by keeping my eyes closed.

“Kim Taehyung.” Her breath is hot on my face, as her soft fingers trace under my eyes. “There’s no reason.” She sniffs, “I love you.” She leans into me, our foreheads touching. “Please don’t keep what I said in your heart.”

My head slides away from her, resting on her collarbone, and taking heavy breaths. How can it not linger? This feeling.

“Please forgive me Tae.” She hugs me closer. Of course I can do that. That isn’t the problem. “I want to go into this year with you… I want to spend all the years of my life with you.” She rambles on, “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.” I can’t respond, and so she continues, “please we can fix this…”

I sigh, collecting myself, and taking a deep breath against her skin. “Yeah.” It’s all I can muster, still not sure how I feel. It’s not like I don’t want to be with her, it’s just… Does she really want to be with me? I couldn’t live with the fact that she didn’t want to continue this but did anyway. I’m not even sure how I could forget this. I don’t want it to stay on my mind but I don’t think I’ll be able to help it. Though as we sit here, I’m just grateful to be in her arms.

“Hey” I open sticky eyes, to the someone poking my cheek softly. Mara’s swollen but soft eyes are looking into mine, us still glued to each other on the couch. We must have fallen asleep, I blink a few times, stretching my arm out from under her. She has a small smile, one that makes me melt. Speaking softly she pulls her phone around to me. “Look.” With squinted eyes from the bright screen I see that it's 11:58 pm. She sets the phone down, leaning on her hand, “We didn’t miss the ball drop. Do you maybe want to watch it?”

I smile whispering, “I thought you didn’t want to watch it a third time.”

She sits up shrugging, “it’s different this time.” Her eyes find mine, and then she immediately looks away, “Though I doubt this tv gets the right channels.” I shuffle up in my seat as she gets up, rolling her head over her shoulders.

After my mind has adjusted to being awake I stand, following her as she flips the tv on, scanning through the channels, though the time has already turned to 11:59. There's some news channels but they aren't showing the countdown.

“Dangit we are gonna miss it.” She whines, but only looking half upset.

I huff at her pout, quickly pulling up the ball drop on youtube. “See it’s that easy.” 25. 24.

Her teeth show in a smile as she curls around me, watching the ball fall on the tiny little screen. 19. 18. “Can we kiss?” She kinda laughs at herself after asking, her eyes falling to the floor. Though I’m shocked she asked.

“Yeah… of course.” She still seems hesitant, until I set the phone down on the bed, turning my attention completely to her. 10. 9.

She attempts to look in my eyes, but her’s just drag down to my chest once more. “I love you Tae.” 8. 7. My hand finds her chin, pulling it up slightly so our eyes do meet. And the blush forming on her cheeks makes me blush in return. Reminding me of the first time we kissed. 6. 5. I push my forehead onto hers, rubbing circles on her temples. 4. 3.

“I love you too.” 2. 1. And I pull her face into mine, our lips softly clashing. Making me miss her more, and never want to let go. But I do. Breathing softly onto each other’s faces, breaking into smiles.

She looks down to my phone with a grin, pulling it up to my face. “Look! It’s 2021!”

#bts #kim taehyung #kim taehyung is in love #kim taehyung is sad #bts angst #bts fic #bts au #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #park jimin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #jeon jungkook #taehyung smut #taehyung soft #taehyung drabble #bts drabble #taehyung oneshot

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buckmecaptain · 4 years ago

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The Cat Arrived in October

AU in which I ignore Infinity War and Endgame, Bucky is an Avenger, Everybody lives in the Tower because I’m a sucker for that, and Pepper and Tony had an amicable break up years prior.

It started as a drabble, from the prompt: “Halloween, but make it totally not scary.”

Image isn’t mine, neither are any of the Avengers characters. Only Rosa.

WARNINGS: Not many. Mention of accidental animal death (no description), vague mention of an explosion and subsequent hospital stay.

In which Tony Stark decides that pets are OK in the Tower.

The Avengers returned to the Tower after their Sunday brunch on a crisp October day and found Tony in the common room, relaxing in a recliner and reading on his StarkPad. A large black house cat lay across the back of the chair, its tail draped over Tony's right shoulder and a front paw idly kneading his left.

As the team entered the room Steve, who was in the lead, stopped short, almost causing a six-person pile-up. They gawked.

Tony didn't bother to look up; rather he asked “Did you remember my coffee?”

Steve approached him, coffee and a bakery bag in hand, head tilted and eyes squinting. “Tony, there's a cat on your chair.”

Tony's eyes remained on the tablet screen. “So there is.”

The cat regarded Steve with large bright green eyes. Its tail thumped its seatmate's shoulder once, then stood and stretched.

“It's, uh, it's a really pretty cat.”

“This is true,” Tony nodded, sipping his coffee.

The feline rubbed its nose along the edge of Tony's ear, then looked back up at Steve expectantly with one forepaw raised and uttered a soft “miao”.

“Oh, alright. Rosa, Steve. Steve, Rosa.”

Steve shifted from foot to foot, then glanced over his shoulder at his team mates. They shrugged. “Some help you guys are,” he thought.

The cat meowed and reached out its paw again.

At a loss, Steve offered his hand. “Nice to-to meet you, Rosa.”

Rosa placed her paw on his hand and pressed once. Twice.

“Did you just... shake my hand?”

She turned in a circle and looked up at Steve with her eyes nearly closed.

”Smug,” he thought.

The team crowded around to greet Rosa one by one and she charmed them all.

The last was Bucky.

He didn't reach out for her and she flattened her ears while staring him down.

Up came the paw.

“What's the matter, Tin man?” Sam grinned. “Don't like cats?”

Bucky rolled his eyes in response and reached out with his flesh-and-blood hand. Rosa sniffed it daintily and rubbed her head on his thumb, purring. Once Tony's pet had greeted the entire team, she returned to his shoulder and nuzzled her little face into his neck.

“That is certainly an affectionate cat,” Natasha noted after she and Clint left the room.

“Yeah, weird. Even weirder is Tony having a cat. Much less being affectionate with one,” Clint agreed. “Do you think it's a lab experiment? Maybe it's Bruce. Did Tony turn Bruce into a cat? Are they snuggling because they're more than 'science bros'?”

“Okay, calm down. Bruce is in the lab. Tony just decided to get a pet. It's been a long time since he and Pepper broke up, you know. Maybe he was lonely.” Clint snorted.

As the days and weeks passed, the team got used to having Rosa in the Tower and were enjoying her company. Tony seemed happier and his appetite had increased to a more-than-healthy level, but he wasn't gaining weight, so who were the team members to judge?

“Waffles? Do I smell waffles?” Tony breezed into the kitchen and made a plate for himself, stacking a tray with food and various breakfast beverages before heading back out again.

“He never eats with us anymore,” Wanda pouted. “I kinda miss his dumb jokes at the table.”

Sam nodded. “Well, he is a self-proclaimed 'mad scientist'. Who knows what's going on in that brain of his?”

After dinner that night, Tony strode purposefully into the common room with Rosa cradled in his arms. “Okay, guys. I need a favor. I have to leave for a conference in LA tomorrow and I need someone to look after Rosa. Just let her hang out with you so she doesn't get lonely,” he kissed the cat's head, “and, uh, feed her on schedule. Who's up for this?” He looked around the room.

Wanda raised her hand. “I'd be glad to!” she cooed enthusiastically and reached for Rosa.

Tony reluctantly relinquished his hold and Rosa rubbed her face along his jawline before slithering over to Wanda.

“FRIDAY will send you her schedule and feeding instructions. It's not difficult. Everything is in my suite and you'll have access as needed. I'll be gone for six days.” He squinted at the team and chewed his lower lip as he rapidly tapped his fingers on the back of his phone.

“Stark, it'll be fine. Wanda's more than capable of taking care of a simple-” Steve began.

“Not 'simple'!” Tony almost shouted. “Very special. Follow the directions and treat her the way she wants to be treated. If I can't trust you all, then I'm going to have to take her with me,” he huffed.

Rosa sighed and squirmed, jumping from Wanda's arms to Tony's. She looked him in the eye and rubbed her head against his jaw again, purring loudly.

“Okay, I get it.” He stroked her fur. “I'm trusting all of you.” He turned abruptly and headed for his suite.

The team were left speechless, exchanging looks and shrugging.

Finally, Sam broke the silence. “So that's it, huh? Tony is now a crazy cat lady?”

** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** The team was all too happy to hang out with the Tower feline after Tony left that Thursday morning. Rosa spent some time lounging in the sun by the huge windows in the common room, then made the rounds from one person to the next as they filed in to relax. She retreated to Tony's suite when the team went to work out, but joined them again when they assembled for movies and pizza.

Bucky was particularly sullen tonight, slumped in one of the over-sized recliners and burrowed in his hoodie. Rosa had been watching him intently, but seemed to have come to some sort of a decision and stood from her perch on Clint's knee. She stretched as cats do and sauntered over to the arm of Bucky's chair, then sat primly with her tail wrapped around her feet.

The soldier gave the cat the side eye, receiving only a slow blink for a reaction.

“What?”

Rosa raised her chin and peered at him, front paw raised.

Bucky squinted at her.

She meowed quietly.

“Fine. Come on, then.” he opened his arms and Rosa hopped onto his chest, stretching her back legs out behind her and tucking her front paws into the neck of his hoodie. He glared at the cat.

Unbothered, she rubbed the top of her head on his chin and purred loudly. Before he knew it, Bucky was absently stroking the cat's luxurious fur and relaxing. It wasn't long until he nodded off. He slept deeply, dreamless at first, then came the demons of his past snaking into his rest. He hated the dreams and his lack of power to stop them, struggled to wake himself every time.

Something was different. This time when he aimed the pistol at Steve, the image in his mind blurred and faded away. Instead he found himself in a huge, soft bed surrounded with fine linens. The scent of flowers and vanilla filled his nostrils as he trailed his fingers over the curvy body of the woman draped over his chest.

Wait, what?

His hands stilled and his eyes flew open. She wriggled against him, warm and very naked, and sighed contentedly. Who was she? He couldn't see her face, but the hair and body didn't match Wanda or Natasha. He raised a hand to brush away her long dark hair so he could identify her, but she batted his hand away and snuggled under his chin.

Bucky knew he should wake up, should push the woman off of him, find out who she was, where he was, but he hadn't felt that comfortable and relaxed in so long, he couldn't force himself. What's the worst than could happen? He allowed himself to settle back into the marshmallow-cloud bedding and wrap his arms around his companion.

He woke as usual before sunup, his internal clock urging him to go for a run with Steve and Sam. As soon as he raised his head he was met with a pair of bright green eyes set in midnight black fur. Rosa touched her nose to his, then jumped down and headed for Tony's suite.

Bucky's mind flashed back to the dream he'd had as he watched the cat leave the room. He hoped his morning run would help would help dampen his feeling of unease.

After the third lap, Sam couldn't take it anymore. “Yo, Buck, you've been really quiet this morning. What's the matter, cat got your tongue?”

Bucky gave him the Winter Soldier Death Glare.

“Hey, just saying I'm not the one who fell asleep with a kitty cat on my chest.”

“Knock it off, birdbrain.”

“Geez, touchy!”

That night after dinner, Steve was parked at his desk going over some paperwork when FRIDAY alerted him. “Captain Rogers, Rosa is requesting entry to your quarters.”

Of course Stark would program the AI to recognize his pet. He chuckled and gave the okay, and the cat trotted into his room, taking a seat on the floor beside his desk chair. “Well, hello there. Nice of you to visit me.”

Rosa meowed once and raised a paw.

“Want to come up and keep me company? Okay, up.” He patted his knee.

Rosa narrowed her eyes and flattened her ears.

“Oh, excuse me, someone's spoiled,” he leaned over and reached for her. She allowed it and settled on his lap, purring quietly. She stayed there all evening, and when he emerged from the shower, she was curled up on the foot of his bed, sound asleep. He didn't have the heart to make her leave, so there she stayed.

In the wee hours of the morning, Steve dreamed about crashing the plane into the icy depths of the ocean. He was cold, so cold he was shivering in his sleep and mumbling “No. Please, no...”

The bed was vibrating from the Captain's shivering, rousing Rosa from her slumber. She stood, stretched, and ambled up to Steve's left side, nestling against him and placing her paws on his chest, kneading slowly but firmly. As he calmed and settled, Rosa purred and closed her eyes.

Confusion and calm both invaded Steve's dream state at once, pulling him from the freezing water that had closed over his head and depositing him into his nice, warm, too-soft bed. He sucked conditioned air into his lungs instead of sea water and his heartbeat slowed. So warm and comfortable.

And arousing.

Wait.

That wasn't a blanket pressed against his chest, drawing lazy circle patterns across his ribs. His eyes snapped open, body going rigid. All he could see was a head full of long, dark hair and a distinctly feminine arm stretched across his body. He wanted to ask her what the hell she was doing in his bed, and who the hell was she, but he was warm and comfortable so he allowed himself to be lulled back to sleep through the night.

Why are early morning alarms so loud? Steve was sorely tempted to throw his phone through the window. Annoyed with having his rest interrupted, he groaned and stood, preparing to meet the day.

A soft “meow” sounded from behind him.

“Hey there, Rosa. Good morning. Thanks for staying with me last night.” He rubbed her ear gently and she purred, then hopped down to the floor and sat by the door to his suite waiting for FRIDAY to let her out.

Steve smiled and went about getting ready for his morning run.

The next few days were busy for the Avengers. Interviews, meetings and briefings with SHIELD and training took up their days, so they were all more than ready for some R and R in the evening. The recipe for relaxation this evening was catered gourmet cheeseburgers, fries, a movie, and a gripe-fest.

“All I'm saying is, we look good on tv as is. Why did they think we need makeup? It's a crime to cover this up!” Sam gestured to his face.

Rosa meowed from her spot along the back of the couch.

“See? Even the kitty-cat agrees.”

“Well, at least we didn't have to deal with interviewers and Tony,” Natasha said between fries. “Would have made our day one hell of a lot longer.”

Clint laughed, “Yep, it's a relief not to hear the 'I'm Tony Stark and I'm awesome' stories every ten minutes.”

A low growl sounded from behind Sam.

“Well, Tony is definitely all about ego. Huge ego. Huge ego in a tiny suit,” Steve snarked.

“Ooh, short jokes. Someone is playing mean,” Wanda chipped in, “not that Tony doesn't deserve being taken down a peg or two. Often.”

“You should all be nicer to Tony, you know. He's good to each and every one of you,” said a new voice.

Combat training kicked in for each of the Avengers. They were on their feet and facing the enemy, makeshift weapons drawn, within a second.

In this case, the “enemy” was a stunning black-haired woman wearing a simple black chemise. She fixed each Avenger with her brilliant green gaze and frowned.

“Makes me want to cry.” She turned to leave.

“Wait a minute,” Steve ordered and she stopped, but did not turn. “Who are you and how the hell did you get in here?”

“My name is Rosalie Anderson. I've been here for a few weeks.”

Stunned silence.

“Oh! She's the cat!” Clint shouted, shaking the rest of the team from their reverie.

“No wonder Tony was so reluctant to leave you behind,” Natasha said with her signature smirk. “Wanted to keep you all to himself, huh?”

Rosa sighed and gracefully sank into the over-stuffed couch. “It's not like that. I'm more like a- ugh, I hate to even say it- like a therapy animal.” She rolled her eyes. “At least in cat form, I am.”

“It was you in the dream,” Bucky stated.

“Yes.”

Steve gawked at his old friend. “You had a dream, too? Started out bad, then the woman- her?”

Bucky nodded.

“Wait, wait, wait... you guys had gooey dreams about Hello Kitty, here? What's going on?” Sam sputtered.

Steve shook his head. “No, just the usual nightmare about downing the plane in the ocean, then it changed to me lying in a huge comfortable bed with a dark-haired wo- 'Gooey dreams'? What?”

Natasha broke in. “Let her talk.” She nodded at Rosa, urging her to go ahead. “I'm a low-level empath. Last year, I was doing research off-site for Stark Industries' Therapy and Recovery division, studying the effectiveness of different therapy animals, when that explosion happened.”

“The one at the dummy radiology lab? The one that turned out to be a Hydra front for alien weaponry?” Sam asked.

Rosa nodded. “My desk was against the a wall that was shared with the lab, so when the explosion happened, it tore through and hit me full-force.” She grimaced. “Well, me and Bella the cat. She didn't make it.

I spent three days in the hospital, and at the end of my stay I was picked up by Agent Coulson. He introduced me to Tony and we became friends.”

“Friends... who hang around as house pets?” Clint prompted, his eyebrows raised.

“Tony's idea,” Rosa supplied, “and I didn't mind. It was nice to be able to observe all of you with your guards down. Tony is overprotective sometimes, which reminds me, FRIDAY? Would you please message Mister Stark and let him know that everything is out in the open and it's okay?”

“Already done, Miss Anderson.”

“You said you're an empath,” Wanda stated. “How strong is your power?”

“Not very strong, I'm afraid,” Rosa replied with a frown. “I seem to only be in tune with panic or fear based emotions and help soothe them. For example, I can sense an oncoming panic attack, and if I can touch the person who is suffering, I can pull back the anxiety so he or she can rest.”

“That's what happened with my dream. I was on the helicarrier, just about to shoot Steve, then I wasn't. Next I knew I was in this gigantic bed. With a woman.” A muscle flexed in his jaw.

Rosa stepped forward, hands raised in supplication. “I'm sorry. Just doing what I'm meant to do. I hope you can forgive me for crossing lines.”

“No apology necessary,” Steve assured her. “Believe me when I say that was one of the best nights of sleep I've had in years.”

She smiled tentatively. “Thanks.”

“Same here, doll,” Bucky agreed, “Suddenly I'm a cat person.” He grinned, looking at her through the overgrown fringe of hair hanging over his brow.

Her smile turned genuine and she sighed in relief. “Now that you all know I'm not the enemy, do you think I could snag one of those cheeseburgers? Dying for some real food.”

As she powered through her burger, she answered questions from her new friends about what it was like to shift to cat form and back, how did she deal with the perspective change from that point of view, did she find that she had any particular cravings for milk and fish (thanks, Clint), and so on. She was patient and even happy now that she'd devoured her meal.

As the team cleaned up the wrappers and crumbs, FRIDAY interrupted them. “Incoming call from Mister Stark for you, Rosa.”

“Oh! Please put him through, FRIDAY.”

Tony's worried face popped up on a holo-screen in mid-air. “Rosa, sweetheart, are you okay? They're being nice, right? Tell me if they're not being nice.”

Rosa chuckled and smiled fondly at the screen. “Yes, everyone has been understanding and friendly. They even shared their dinner with me. Cheeseburgers”, she said in a sing-song voice.

“You mean to say the super-soldier garbage disposals actually had leftovers?” His eyes widened comically. “You sure you're okay?”

“Why wouldn't I be? I'm surrounded by most of Earth's Mightiest Heroes,” she said with a quiet giggle.

“'Most'. I'll be home in a couple of days. Keep the bed warm for me, will you?” He winked and smiled, and his face looked much less tired.

“Of course. See you soon.” She blew him a kiss and the holo-screen disappeared.

She turned back to the team, all of whom were regarding her with raised eyebrows or smirks.

“Thank you all for being kind to me, and especially for the burger,” she smiled.

“I'm gonna turn in now.” She headed for the elevator.

“Hold up,” Sam called, and she paused.

“Yes?”

“You and Stark? You're together?”

Rosa looked puzzled. “No. He's in California, I'm in New York.”

“Woman! You know what I meant.”

“I wouldn't say we're together, but I do sleep with him every night.”

Sam stared at her, jaw dropped.

Rosa tilted her head. “What's the matter, Sam? Cat got your tongue?”

Bucky guffawed.

#avengers fluff #tony stark x oc #steve rogers x oc #bucky barnes x oc #black cats deserve all the love #this should have been a drabble #happy halloween

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momtemplative · 5 years ago

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Nine Days. (COVID-19)

To say day-to-day life has changed since I last posted (March 9) feels like a gross understatement. Nine days feels like the gestation period of some unknown force that continues to grow.

I’m writing, but my words feel like sheets of paper in a cyclone. Nothing cohesive. Self-judgment says, does anyone really want to hear what you have to say in the midst of this barrage of COVID-19 thoughts/opinions/posts/news? Then I shut up and write, even if it’s just something, even if it’s not pristine.

Nine Days, in list form:

1. Thursday, March 12, 2020—THE OUTSIDE TURNS DOWN.

We get the news that schools are going to be shut down for many weeks, probably more. When that happens, the lighting in our house shifts. It’s as if the outside turns down, like half-drawn curtains. And those who live inside the walls of our little house—Jesse, Opal, Ruth, myself, and the pets— take on a fresh-rinsed potency, as if we know we are on the brink of something big and we are in it together.

2. Friday, March 13, 2020—TARGET

We take a trip to Target. Ruth begs to wear her tap shoes, which I reluctantly agree to. The people at Target are amiable; nobody is concerned about keeping a distance yet. We are pushing carts as two-way traffic down aisles, brushing elbows, as we would on any large-crowd shopping day. Moms exchange nods of camaraderie, like fellow Harley drivers on the highway. The overall feeling is generous and very much we-are-in-this-together. What is different, what is startling, is the very, very low inventory. Some of the shelves are completely empty, (toilet paper, cleaning agents) which, in spite of the music, crowds and fluorescent lighting, feels eerie.

The lines are 10-12 people long, cards filled to the brim, and even though I don’t hear one short-tempered word, most of the people in the lines are wrapped comfortably in the tiny glare of their smart phones. It’s amazing how deeply grownups crawl into those little screens, even in public. Ruth walks by them with her tap-tap-tap shoes, duct taped at the buckle and two sizes too big. They make a startling, gloriously sharp sound against the linoleum.

Imagine a line of adults raising their gaze with each step of her foot, like a face-only version of the wave, a beautiful cascade of heads that rise to meet the sound. Each face spreads into a smile when they see where it originates: tiny girl, impervious to her impact, shiny-star tank top and tutu, like a Disney+ version of Madonna’s Like a Virgin.

Back at home, emails flood our inboxes with some variation of ‘COVD-19 closure’ in the subject line. The library. The Rec center. Stores dropping from Main Street like birds shot from a wire. Restaurants and coffee shops are sweating hard, offering discounts on gift cards for later and curbside take-out.

We are getting wind of the fact that we need to slow the spread of this virus so as not to overwhelm the healthcare systems—to ‘flatten the curve.’ We need to stay in as much as possible. Not be in big groups. Probably not see the grandparents for a while. Wash our hands like crazy, scrubbing while singing the ABCs from start to finish.

It sure looks as if we won’t be going to Target (where Ruth who touches every surface with all ten fingers then promptly rubs her eyes and picks her lip) for a while.

3. Saturday, March 14, 2020—SHOULD WE??

Every out-of-house action feels strange and other-worldly. Even the most benign of outings suddenly beg the question, wait—should we?? Do we really need to?? Going to the kid-gym and kid-yoga just two days earlier suddenly seems outlandish. A planned gathering with friends that felt wonderful yesterday feels out of the question today.

4. Sunday, March 15, 2020—COMMUNITY.

There is an amazing video going around of a community in Italy who are quarantined, but still singing from their balconies as an etherial chorus.

A family-walk around the block feels potent and perennially safe. Our next-door neighbor joins us with her dog. We wave at another family of neighbors who are perched on their porch in the sun, their toddler wearing the hilarious mirrored sunglasses of a studly lifeguard. Then we cross and take the bike path behind the houses that are on the other side of our street. Another neighbor exits from her sliding back door, her dog lurching out from behind her. Yet another neighbor steps out into the light wearing pajamas and with his small dog under his arm. Everyone feels hungry for sunshine and familiar connection, but we all keep our distance.

When I was 13, I took a spring break vacation with friends to Arizona, where we visited the “Biosphere2.” The headlines read: “Eight explorers join together in a daring, high-profile study of sustainability and the new science of biospherics—the study of closed systems that mimic Earth’s environment.” Essentially, eight people lived in a sealed-up dome, a mini-earth, for two years to study sustainability. We could see them all through the glass. I remember waving, though I don’t know how accurate that is. I think of that right now, as I wave to my friends through their windows.

Even Opal is weighing her options. Just after lunch, she says to me, “I’m going to try and make Ruth my friend. We may be together for a long long time and I want to have fun with her.”

The girls laugh so hard at dinner tonight, we wind up calling a moratorium when they are unable to take a drink without spraying it across the table. This is very unusual.

5. Monday, March 16, 2020—RAGE

The media is rich with photos of college kids whooping it up over the weekend for St. Patrick’s Day. Seeing photos of hundreds of young bodies smashed together in a bar makes my blood curdle. I can practically see the virus spreading.

Let’s talk about neuroscience for a minute. The brain isn’t fully developed until the age of 25. Therefore, to leave hundreds of thousands of 18-24 year olds to their own devices to make good choices around self-quarantining is like requesting the same from a litter of wild animals. Is there a psychiatrist out there observing this with some sense of concern? Where are the leaders in this? I don’t just mean parents. I’m also wondering about teachers, staff, the adults who own the bars, ANYONE who has some sense of perspective and enough maturity to help float those who aren’t as evolved.

Concurrently, parents are home from work, doing their human duty of staying home/keeping kids home to slow the growth of this thing. Healthcare workers are AT WORK so we can stay home and everyone can get a handle on this thing. Grr. It really is infuriating.

6. Tuesday, March 17, 2020—WHAT IF IT WERE MY IDEA?

Today I have a random memory of having insomnia for close to a year when I first moved to Colorado fifteen years ago. It was agonizing: the mealy brain that would wake me up with an indifferent shrug and leave me unsettled and restless for hours—a fate far worse than jolting into a leap of wide-awake!—left me feeling dead-brained and disconnected for weeks at a time. The only thing that helped me to recover was to pretend it was all my idea. I have no recollection of how that notion ever came to me but there it was. I’d wake up at 3am and force myself to say, well, super! I was hoping to be up tonight! I have so much to do, after all! Filing, for example, was a big one. Before going to sleep at night, I’d actually pile things by my bed to do when I’d wake up during the night. It positively worked. In under a week, I was sleeping like a mouse.

I got to wondering if that hypothesis could be applied to this COVID reality. Perhaps, I could say to myself, now is as good a time as any to face down some mortal fears and learn about what it’s like to live in quarantine with a four and a ten-year-old. I’m not talking about Pollyanna-Sizing in the least. Just talking about broader perspectives to keep sanity in check.

7. Wednesday, March 18, 2020—A FEW GOOD THINGS

Some parts of this feel tenable, dare I say nurturing. The first few days of this have felt like a combination of a snow day and a meditation retreat. It is part family love-fest, part novel bio-spheric experiment. The weather is warm and inviting so we triple our number of family walks and clock in hours in the backyard. (Backyard, oh how I love thee.) Time feels abundant and luxurious. The slow-drip news of this international trauma infuses the ordinary moments with a sense of urgency, of faintly (or not) facing our individual mortality. Each choice is whittled away by the updated COVID rules du jour. Gratitude lists brim with things that may have previously been taken for granted: health, family, running water.

I clean the hell out of the bathtub today and enjoy every moment of it. I cannot for the life of me remember an instance when I took my time cleaning the bathtub like this, doing small circles on the tile like Mr. Miyagi. I typically rush through my cleaning with some sense of discontent, feeling that it’s taking up space that could be used for something worth relishing.

I typically feel paycheck-to-paycheck with regards to time. But now, time is one thing we have more of than we could possibly use. Usually, my brain has the feeling of being pulled down the road by pack of strong wolves. A lurching feeling. Now—not the case. I feel a shit load of feelings, but rushed and overwhelmed are not on the list.

While I clean? The girls are content reading books in their individual ways. Jesse is in the living room in the rocking chair he continues to scoff at, feet up on the rocking foot-stool, MacBook in his lap as if he’s rocking it to sleep. In that moment, there is a settled feeling inside the places where rushing and overwhelm are usually expected. This is one part I do not mind about the new norm.

8. Thursday , March 19, 2020—SNOW / CREATIVITY IS REQUIRED FOR SUSTAINABILITY

There is at least ten inches of snow on the ground—an abrupt change in weather—and I want to start drinking well before lunch. Cozy as it is, all I can think of is our lack of ability to escape into the out-of-doors.

Yesterday I felt heavy and blue, like the adrenaline was wearing off and the novelty of our situation was waning. My face felt leaden and I was short-fused with everyone, making audible sighs of exasperation that drive me bonkers when done by someone else. I miss my friends. I miss my routine and my work and Sunday morning writing-then-yoga. I know everyone does, but I do too. I want my Big child to continue to enjoy being with my Little child without constant management. I want to know HOW THIS IS ALL GOING TO UNFOLD.

Then, moments later, I am telling Opal how we need to try and be patient with each other. We can get what we need with kind words. We are a team.

I am struggling to find balance. One moment, I am a parent who remembers that Opal feels the same feelings as I do around all of this, yet with less perspective and practice on how to be with those scary inner-bits. The next moment, I am fed up with her vague grumpiness and I just want everyone to work together dammit!

The koan is how to feel spacious in a scenario where there is very little limited space.

Today I awoke feeling brighter. Opal has a Girl Scout meeting over Zoom at 2pm. Something for the schedule that did not originate from a member of Grimes Home Base! Yay! We are both as excited as eager peaches. Facetimes, Skype, Zoom calls are going to be the wiring the keeps us tethered to our relationships. Such irony, when, not long ago, the internet felt like the very thing that perpetuated our universal disconnection.

People are starting to get innovative with their use of the Web, and it’s inspiring as hell. Creativity will save us. Some of my favorite local musicians are doing “QuaranTours”—live shows on line. A famous kids’ book author is teaching the art of doodling. Late night Talk Show hosts are doing shows from their living room, with kids climbing on their shoulders and cheeks shiny without the help of a make-up crew.

9. Friday, March 20, 2020—WE NEED A BROCHURE.

Last weekend, we invited our dear next-door neighbor over to watch Frozen 2 with us. She ate our Pirate Booty, sat on our furniture. The things you do with a friend on any given, normal day. This weekend, she texted to see if we wanted to watch another movie, this time with her fiancé who had been traveling last weekend. I felt the need to explain that so much has changed since last Sunday, at least for us. Had it for them? Our tactics had been distilled down to the essence. At this point, we have decided not to let anyone else in the house right now. They totally understood.

Then I ran into them while on a walk today. They were walking towards Elvis and I on the sidewalk and I crossed the street away from them, not at all realizing who they were. I was just doing my usual COVID-cross-the-street-to-give-room move. I was also absorbed in a Podcast.

I crossed-back to see them. I was genuinely giddy with the prospect of their company. I realized I hadn’t been with any adult other than Jesse during the past week. I must've oozed with fervor! But, quickly I felt awkward because I was standing only a few feet away from them! I stepped back but that also felt wrong. Then I was aware of them being aware of me, and I thought, what is happening to us? These are my friends! But because we are not all on the same page, it can feel a bit clunky. Even still, our interaction was supremely satisfying. I wanted them to stay with me for the rest of my walk, but they had plans to go play Scrabble.

Oh how hungry I was for diverse conversation! Those few minutes on the sidewalk together were rich with talk-points and humor. Memorable. I’m still finding my way with enjoyable FaceTimes, but long-distance sidewalk chats are thus far my jam. I had a fantastic chat with a neighbor a few doors down while we were shoveling, and with another neighbor from my porch to her on the sidewalk. Both were far enough away to comfortably toss a softball. Both lasted only a few moments. Both were lavish with depth and hilarity, but concise, as if there were no time to waste.

March 20, 2020

Photos—Top: gel print by Opal. Middle: quick portrait by Ruth. Bottom: me rainbow-organizing markers (who has time for that on an average day??)

#momtemplative #HeatMamaWords #mindfulparenting #CovidList #NineDays

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a-lame-constellation · 7 years ago

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Korean MVs that came out in 2017

~Since i’m not into most kpop groups i might forget to write a comeback so feel free to tell me some that i haven’t written yet or if i have done a mistake.~

*The songs are not in order

**I’ve already made a 2016 list (and i’m making a 2018)

January:

AOA - Excuse Me

AOA - Bing Bing

Bae Da Hae - Knock Knock Knock

S.E.S. - Paradise

AKMU - Last Goodbye

INA - Rainbow

April - April Story

WJSN - I Wish

Davii - Navigation (ft. Heize)

Jun.K - Your Wedding

Minje - Our City

TopSecret - She

Varsity - U R My Only One

Mixx - Love Is a Sudden

NCT127 - Limitless

Vromance - I’m Fine

Day6 - I Wait

Ravi - Bomb (ft. SanE)

Sonamoo - I Think I Love U

Young Cream - 042

Shinhwa 13th - Touch

TRAX [STATION] - Road

Soulights - Crush

EVE - Candle

Jun.K - No Shadow

I - I Wish

Hello Venus - Mysterious

Dreamcatcher - Chase Me

Choi ye_guen Band - Adult

Rain - The Best Present

Niel - Love Affair

CLC - Hobgoblin

Seohyun - Don’t Say No

Zizo - Dynamite Girl

LOOΠΔ(Loona)/YeoJin - Kiss Later

LOOΠΔ(Loona)/Heejin, Hyunjin - My Sunday

LOOΠΔ(Loona)/Heaseul, Yeojin - My Melody

Yoon Do Hyun [STATION] - Sparks Fly

Kasper - Lean On Me

I.O.I - Downpour

40, Dasom - You&I

Park Kyung - When I’m With You (ft. BrotherSu)

Kang Sira - Don’t Wanna Forget

Jooheon - Rhythm

Luna, Hani, Solar - Honey Bee

Joo Chan, So Yoon - No One Like You

2NE1 - Goodbye

Gain, Jeff Bernat - Play

Pentagon - Pretty pretty

Yesung, Selgi [STATION] - Darling U

Jessi - Don’t Make Me Cry

San E - I Am Me (ft. Hwasa)

A.Leean - Fall Back

Suzy - Yes No Maybe

Dynamic Duo, Chen - Nosedive

Sam Kim, Loco - Think About’ Chu

MelodyDay - You Seem Busy

Ryan - Don’t Tell Me Why (ft.Addy)

Kassy - Dream

Masta Wu - Shit (ft. Dok2)

Crybaby - Paramount (ft. TakeOne)

Cheetah - Blurred Lines (ft Hanhae)

Gallant, Tablo, Eric Nam - Cave Me In

Kebee - My Foreigner (ft. BrotherSu)

Ji Hoon Shin - You Are A Star Already

HuhGak - Miss You

Zion.T - The Song

Red Velvet - Rookie

Crown J - Hajima

Lydia Lee - Blue

February:

Imfact - In The Club

Suho, Song YoungJoo [STATION] - Curtain

Masc - Tina

Block B - Yesterday

SF9 - Roar

Day6 - You Were Beautiful

Jung Joon Young - Me and You (ft. Jang Hyejin)

Rhythm Power - Bangsaneung

Cross Gene - Black or White

San E - Counselor

1NB - Stalker

NCT Dream - My First and Last

SunnyHill - Crossroads

B.I.G - 1.2.3

Bts - Spring Day

Bts - Not Today

SBGB - Card Captor Sakura

J’Kyun - Soaking (ft. Cherry Coke)

Jang Joon, Young Taek - Drought (ft. BéE)

Soyou, Baekhyun - Rain

BeautyHandsome - This Game

Skull - Crazy (ft. Verbaljint, KittiB)

Moon Kim - Dark Chocolate

BiPA - Coffee Shop Oppa

MelodyDay - Kiss On The Lips

K.a.r.d - Don’t Recall

Kim Jinho - Graduation Picture

Scarlet mojo-Pin - Ez come Ez go (Gorilla-Man)

Eden - I’m Still (ft. Kwon Jina)

Dean - Beyond (ft. Yerin Baek)

VAV - Venus (Dance With Me)

Taeyeon - I Got Love

Taeyeon - Fine

Twice - Knock Knock

100% - Sketch U

Cheeze - Love You

Solar - Happy People

Soma - Midnight In Paris

Soma - Pale Blue

HeeJun Han - Think of You

San E - What If

Junggigo, Chanyeol - Let Me Love You

Subin - Strawberry

Subin - Circle’s Dream

High4 - Love Line

gugudan - A Girl Like Me

Lovelyz - WoW!

Park Won, Suzy - Don’t Wait For Your Love

Ailee - Reminiscing

Penomeco - WTF (Went Too Far)

Code Kunst - Fire Water (ft. G.Soul, Tablo)

Most Badass Asian - MBA

Most Badass Asian - Joker

Most Badass Asian - Thursday Party (ft. Big One)

Most Badass Asian - Turn Off The Radio (Taxi Driver)

Beatwin - Don’t Leave

March:

Ovan - Virgin Love

Live - Known Me (ft. Dean)

Live - Please (ft. Kim Hyo Eun, G2, Dumbfoundead)

Victon - Eyez Eyez

Ovan - Girl You Deserve It

Kim Ji Soo - Dream All Day

Blanc7 - Yeah

GFriend - Fingertip

BtoB - Movie

Day6 - How Can I Say

Rare Potato - Starlit Night

B.A.P - Wake Me Up

LambC - Love Like That

Romeo - Without U

Jung Key - Anymore (ft. Whee In)

Eric Nam x Somi - You, Who?

Brave Girls - Rollin’

Highlight - It’s Still Beautiful

Highlight - Plz Don’t Be Sad

Got7 - Never Ever

Dorothy Scene - We Are Just..

Cherry Coke - Like I Do

Jung Joonil - Wish

MVP - Take It

Oohyo - Pizza

Cao Lu, Kisum, Yerin - Spring Again

Mad Clown - Love Is A Dog From Hell (ft. Suran)

Seven O’Clock [SOC] - Echo

Hwanhee - So It Is

Yang Hee Eun x AKMU - The Tree

Cnblue - Between Us

Monsta X - Beautiful

Pristin - Wee Woo

IU - Through the Night

BigFlo - Stardom

DJ Juice - BEATful Life (ft. Verbal Jint, Nuck)

J-Min - Alive

Lee Sun Jung Band - Because of Love

Pretty Brown - Grey (ft. Verbal Jint)

Sanchez - 5 More Minutes (ft. Beenzino)

Moon Hyuna - Cricket Song

Roydo - Rewind

Lucy - B-day

Eyedi - Best Mistake (K)

Ofa - To You For You

X.Q - Long Time

Girl’s Day - I’ll Be Yours

Seo In Guk - Better Together

D.G.N.A - Lucky Man

Owol - Nuna (ft. Microdot)

Jero - Delusional

Red Velvet [STATION] - Would You

Seventeen - Smile Flower

I’M - Save Me

OFA - Somebody

OFA - Grow Old

JK Kim Dong Uk - Universe

April:

DPR Live - Cheese & Wine

Oh My Girl - Coloring Book

Winner - Really Really

Winner - Fool

INX - 2Gether

Dreamcatcher - Good Night

Imfact - Tension Up

Taeyeon - Make Me Love You

SBGB - Ki-dult

Corona - Holding Your Hand

Hong Dae Kwang - Fall In Love

Gaeko - Gajah (ft. Rap Monster)

Day6 - I’m Serious

Okdal - Love Advice

Okdal - Intern

Ten [STATION] - Dream In A Dream

Baekhyun [STATION] - Take You Home

Jenyer, Samuel Seo - Cliché

Jeong EunJi - The Spring (ft. Hareem)

EXID - Night Rather Than Day

MiSO - KKPP

Teen Top - Love Is

Lee Hae Ri - Pattern

Lee Hae Ri - Hate That I Miss You

Unit Black - Steal Your Heart

BLACK6IX - Please

Kim Na Young - Being An Adult

Zico - She’s a Baby

Daze - Friday

Berry Good - BibbidiBobbidiBoo

Apink - Always

Kisum - Sleep Tight (ft. Gilgubonggu)

DIA - Will You Go Out With Me

Yesung - Paper Umbrella

DinDin - Super Super Lonely

Hyolyn, Changmo - Blue Moon

Minzy - NiNaNo (ft. Flowsik)

Baek Ji Woong - Your Day

SF9 - Easy Love

Laboum - Hwi Hwi

Chung Ha - Week

IU - Palette (ft. G-Dragon)

Junggigo - Across The Universe

Hyukoh - Leather Jacket

Hyukoh - Tomboy

Hyukoh - Wanli

IU - Ending Scene

K.A.R.D - Rumor

14U - Very Very Very

Varsity - Hole In One

OLNL - OYeah

Reddy - Supreme

Jonghyun - Lonely (ft. Taeyeon)

Stella Jang - Vanishing Paycheck

Triple H - 365 Fresh

Jah Vinci Skull, C Jamm, Jah Vinci - Killa Dreads

Boi B - ADY (ft. Sik-K)

Sugarbowl - Second Date

Knowing Bros - Theme song

May:

Yong Jun Hyung - Wonder If (ft. Heize)

Lovelyz - Now, We

G.Urban - I’ll give it to you

VAV - Flower (You)

JeA - You’re Different (ft. Ra.D)

Ludonph Yongjunko - Tell Me It’s Okay (ft. Luna)

Busters - Dreamer

Day6 - Dance Dance

Romeo - Stay With Me

Psy - I Luv It

Psy - New Face

Twice - Signal

Vixx - Shangri-La

Unnies - Right?

Honeyst - Like You

Urban Zakapa - Alone

Sohee - Spotlight

B.I.G - Hello Hello

IKON - Bling Bling

IKON - B-Day

Roy Kim - Egoist

Roy Kim - Suddenly

Cheeze - Be There

Dean - Love (ft. Syd)

Loco - Movie Shoot (ft. DPR Live)

Loco - Too Much (ft.Dean)

Seventeen - Don’t Wanna Cry

Dear Cloud - Silver Lining

Map6 - I’m Ready

A.C.E - Cactus

Yezi - Anck Su Namun

Yong Yong - Scribbling

KNK - Sun, Moon, Star

Kriesha Chu - Trouble

Yoo Yong Min - Nobody Knows

Goretexx, Black Nut, Han Yo Han - Silky Boys

South Club - Hug Me

Marmello - Puppet

MeiMei Jane - Forever

Shin Hyun Woo - So Amazing

LOOΠΔ(Loona)/Eclipse

Joo - Late in the Morning

Kyuhyun - Goodbye For Now

24K - Only You

Most Badass Asian - Officer

Highlight - Calling You

Sistar - Lonely

Astro - Baby

The Black Skirts - Who Do You Love

Baek A Yeon - Sweet Lies (ft. The Barberettes)

Still PM - True

June:

Elris - We, First

Suran - 1+1=0 (ft. Dean)

S.E.T - Nalari

TopSecret - Mind Control

Gummy - I I Yo

Chung Ha - Why Don’t You Know (ft. Nucksal)

Ft.Island - Wind

Day6 - I Smile

WJSN - Happy

G-Dragon - Untitled, 2014

Eddy Kim - Heart Pound

Pentagon - Critical Beauty

NCT 127 - Cherry Bomb

Vermuda - Dream Girl

Monsta X - Shine Forever

Mamamoo - Yes I Am

Mamamoo - Age Gag

BlackPink - As If It’s Your Last

South Club - Dirty House

South Club - I Got The Blues

South Club - Liar

Henry - I’m Good (ft. Nafla)

Ahn Jung Jae - You’re Fine

Apink - Five

Heize - Don’t Know You

Heize - You, Clouds, Rain (ft. Shin Yong Jae)

LOONA/JinSoul - Singing in the Rain

BoA - Camo

Lee Hyuri - Seoul (ft. Killagramz)

Crush - Summer Love

July:

The Barbarettes - Summer Love

Favorite - Party Time

Bang Yongguk - Yamazaki

Min Chae - Latata

VAV - ABC (Middle of the Night)

Lee Hyori - Black

Hyolyn, Kisum - Fruity

Crush - Outside (ft. Beenzino)

Day6 - Hi Hello

Take - Good Enough

Yu Seungwoo, Sandeul - Oppa

Red Velvet - Red Flavor

South Club - No

Millic - Paradise (ft. Fanxy Child)

One - Heyahe

One - Gettin’ By

Urban Zakapa - Moai

Xiumin x Mark [STATION] - Young & Free

Zico - Artist

Zico - Anti (ft. G.Soul)

Jessi - Gucci

Mind U - Love Me

Park Boram - Why, You? (ft. Seo Samuel)

Voisper - Crush On You

Hotshot - Jelly

WJSN (Cosmic Girls) - Kiss Me

Exo - Ko Ko Bop

Geeks - Woo

Psy - Love (ft. Taeyang)

KNK - Rain

Kard - Hola Hola

Jung Yong Hwa - That Girl (ft. Loco)

The Night Of Seokyo - Walking in the Moonlight )ft. Dawon, Lasier)

AKMU - Dinosaur

offonoff - gold (ft Dean)

Luda - I Will Give You All I Got

Dreamcatcher - Fly High

Monsta X - Newton

LOONA/Choerry - Love Cherry Motion

JJ Project - Tomorrow, Today

Longguo & Shihyun - the.the.the

9Muses - Remember

August:

Winner - Island

Winner - Love Me Love Me

GFriend - Love Whisper

Girl’s Generation - Holiday

Girl’s Generation - All Night (Documentary Ver.)

Yoo YoungJin x Taeyong [STATION] - Cure

Samuel - Sixteen (ft. Changmo)

Eddy Kim - Now

ONF - ON/OFF

CLC - Where are you?

The Rose - Sorry

Juniel - Last Carnival

Groovyroom - Sunday (ft. Heize, Jay Park)

Raina - Loop (ft. Aron of Nu’est)

N.Flying - The Real

Drug Restaurant - Drink O2 in the water

Primary - ~42 (ft. Sam Kim , eSNa)

Day6 - What Can I Do

Boyfriend - Star

WannaOne - Energetic

Weki Meki - I Don’t Like Your Girlfriend

Pristin - We Like

Momoland - Freeze

Oguogu - Ice Chu

Sunmi - Gashina

Heize - In The Time Spent With You

Hur Young Ji - Memory Clock

Hoody - Hangang

Kassy - Let It Rain

Victon - Unbelievable

Yu Seungwoo, Younha - Can’t Stop This Feeling

Jisook - Ilhoon - Baesisi

Aleph - Fall in Love Again

S2 - Honeya

Lee Seung Hwan - God Of Money

VIXX LR - Whisper

10cm - Help

HyunA - Babe

Jackson Wang - Papillon

Good Day - Rolly

S.I.S - I’ve Got A Feeling

Rolling Paper - Polaroid (ft. DalShabet’s Serri)

Jeong Sewoon, Sik-K - Just U

IZ - All You Want

Henry - That One

Babylon - Lalala

GreatGuys - Last Men

Golden Child - DamDaDi

Sanchez - Mesmerised (ft. Yong Jun Hyung)

Primary - Right (ft. Soyou)

Primary - Diet (ft.Solji)

Primary - Hello (ft.Lena Park)

Primary - Hush (ft. Jaebum)

9Muses - Love City

September:

10cm - Phonecert

Junho - Fine

Pentagon - When I Was In Love

Exo - Power

B.A.P - Honeymoon

Lee Gikwang - What You Like

Black6IX - Like A Flower

Day6 - I Loved You

Pentagon - Like This

Soyou - The Blue Night of Jeju Island

Yonko - Butterfly (Black Ver.)

San E, Penomeco, Microdot, Kebee - Fresh Up

Jeong Eun Ji - Manito

Elris - Pow Pow

Bobby - I Love You

Bobby - Runaway

Bts - DNA

IU- Last Night Story

B1A4 - Rollin’

P.O - MEN’z NIGHT (ft. Chancellor)

Day6 - When You Love Someone

U-Know [STATION] - Drop

K.will - Nonfiction

Seventeen (SVT Leaders) - Change Up

LOONA/Odd Eye Circle - Girl Front

Bolbbalgan4 - Some

Βolbbalgan4 - Blue

Bolbbalgan4 - Imagine

Bolbbalgan4 - Fix Me

Yoona [STATION] - When The Wind Blows

Koh Nayoung - Stars

Sugarbowl - A Very Special One

20 Years of Age - Not Him

October:

Stray Kids - Hellevator

TRCNG - Spectrum

Hash Tag - Hue

Got7 - You Are

Nu’est W - Where You At

Basement Claxxic - Always on my Mind

Davichi - To Me

Jang Wooyoung - Still Me

SF9 - O Sole Mio

Rainz - Juliette

Woo Seok - Lift off (ft. E’Dawn)

Varsity - Can You Come Out Now?

Up10tion - Going Crazy

Masc - Do It

Yu Seungwoo - Tonight

Paul Kim - Stranger

Mate - A Day

Mate - Baby

Dpr Live - Jasmine

Hi Cutie - Play U

HA:TFELT - I Wander (ft. Gaeko)

HA:TFELT - Read Me (ft. Punchnello)

Highlight - Can Be Better

Taemin - Move

BtoB - Missing You

Jung Jin Hyeong - Tru (ft. Sik-k)

A.c.e - Callin’

JBJ - Fantasy

Killagramz - Coloring (ft. Hash Swan)

Seventeen [Vocal Team]

Jimin (AOA) - Hallelujah

Playback - Want You To Say

Super Junior - One More Chance

Twice - Likey

The Rose - Like We Used To

Juniel - I Drink Alone

Epik High - Home Is Far Away + Love Story

November:

Astro - Crazy Sexy Cool

Nick&Sammy - Without You

Jinbo - My Love By My Side (ft. Chancellor)

Super Junior - Black Suit

Byul - Leaves (ft. Junoflo)

Minah - 11°

Mind U - If

Jeon Soyeon - Jelly

Seventeen - Clap

VAV - She’s Mine

Eddy Kim - Bet On Me

Yiruma - F r a m e d

Sonamoo - I (Knew it)

Day6 - All Alone

Nieah - Baby I

Hyeongseop X Euiwoong - It Will Be Good

Sole - Ride (ft. Thama)

Martin Smith - Season Comes Again

Park Jimin - Say I Love You

Block B - Shall We Dance

Monsta X - DramaRama

Exid - DDD

Hwang Chi Yeul - Rewind

Rothy - Stars

Victon - Remember Me

Urban Zakapa - When We Were Two

Swings - Clock Out (ft. Jay Park, Crush)

WannaOne - Beautiful

Samuel - Candy

Kard - You In Me

Kiggen - Cloudy (ft. Solar)

Soma - In My Phone

Soma - Someday + Face Me

Pentagon - Violet

Pentagon - Runaway

Red Velvet - Peek-A-Boo

Joonil Jung - I Like

George - Boat

Jackson Wang - Okay

Soyou, Sung Si Kyung - I Still

No.11 - B1 (ft. Sung Joo of Uniq)

E Z Hyung - I Feel Good

Lee Ha Rin - A Strange Day

Fly To The Sky - Your Season

Kim Dong Wan - Afterimage

Map6 - Love Is Gone

Nell, Groovyroom - Today

UV - Za Bro (ft. Choiza)

HuhGak - Only You

Kream - Photograph

Zion.T - Nu DAY

Drug Restaurant - Catwoman

gugudan - Chococo

Jeebanoff - Timid (ft. Changmo)

December:

HyunA - Lip & Hip

Han Dong Geun - Undoable

Kisses - Dead-End

Day6 - I Like You

Kard - Trust Me

Zion.T - Snow

The Boyz - Boy

Dpr Live - Martini Blue

Dpr Live - Text Me

Taemin - Day and Night

K.Will, Soyou, Boyfriend, Mad Clown, Monsta X, Wjsn, Junggigo, Brothersu, Jeong Sewoon, Lee Kwanghyun, Yu Seungwoo, Mind U, #Gun, Duetto- Christmas Day

B.A.P - Hands Up

Soyou - The Night (ft. Geeks)

Car, the garden - Island (ft. OhHyuk)

Taeyeon - This Christmas

Twice - Heart Shaker

Twice - Merry & Happy

Laysha - Pink Label

Crush - Be By My Side

Exo - Universe

Loona/Chuu - Heart Attack

Lay - Goodbye Christmas

Eric Nam - Hold Me

Younha - Parade

Sunwoo Jung A - C A T (ft. IU)

Yang Da Il - Lie

Osshun Gum - Life’s a Dream

Kim Na Young - Miss U

1K notes · View notes

geminimoonbeamx · 7 years ago

Text

Naive: Part 3

A/N: I’m so freaking happy you guys seemed to like the story so far!, I wrote this and a few other chapters up in one night! Hopefully I can get you guys as hyped as I am for this story. Oh and if you couldn’t already tell, the reader IS mixed race. Because there’s a serious lack of mixed race reader inserts. If this offends you or deters you just skim over it I guess??

Word Count: 3k+

Warnings: Just cursing in this chapter because I have the mouth of a sailor. Get ready for it to get smutttayyyyy next chapter tho, my home dogs!

Summary: As the goddaughter of Tony Stark you were no stranger to the Avengers, but when you meet the newest member- you’re a little more then intrigued. Unfortunately for him, Bucky Barnes has caught your eye.

💘💘💘💘💘

It’s honestly insane what a little bit of sleep can do to improve your life.

Well okay, a lot of sleep. You’d slept for like thirty hours straight, thank the mother fuckin’ lord and you felt like a brand new woman.

Especially after you take a couple bong rips.

Wake and baking was a way of life for you, had been since you we’re fifteen years old. There was just nothing like it.

You take a shower, deciding against getting dressed in real clothes and instead you wiggle into a pair of black lace trimmed lounge shorts, and then slip on a wireless bralette. It gives you no support of course, your supple breast sit comfortably and unrestrained. Just the way you liked them to be.

As you sit at your vanity and stare at your reflection in the mirror, your brain cloudy and happy; your eyes slightly red rimmed and low, you feel …numb. But a good numb. The numb you wished you can be forever. You rip the tie from your hair and it tumbles down from the bun it had been in and falls around your shoulders, the silky strands tickling your bare, fresh skin.

Do you think you’re pretty? Fuck yes. Do you think you’re fat? Also, fuck yes.

It was a concept that most people couldn’t seem to understand. How could you admit that you we’re fat and yet still sit and check yourself out in the mirror? Well because to you, fat was just a descriptive word. Not the heinous insult other people thought it was. Yes, you we’re fat. Just like you we’re smart. And fucking hilarious if you do say so yourself… and at the moment, extremely stoned.

Your confidence hadn’t appeared out of thin air, it was something that had been ingrained in you.

Because your mother had never made you question your worth. She didn’t give a shit about the numbers on a scale or cellulite. She didn’t care if your hair was wild and curly, curlier then her, a white woman had known how to handle for years. No- she cared if you we’re kind to others. If you we’re brave enough to go after you wanted and speak up for yourself.

So you had.

You broke away from that fat girls should wear baggy clothes and stay quiet and try to shrink themselves. Nah, fuck that. This fat girl was going to do whatever she wanted.

Did have negative thoughts about yourself sometimes? Duh, you’re a human being. Everyone has ugly thoughts sometimes, but mostly you we’re a little full of yourself.

Like now, as you blend on warm, smoky eyeshadow, carve your brows and contour your face. Drowning yourself in highlighter. Acentuating and defining all of the parts of your face that you loved. You liked primping and pampering yourself, loved all things beauty, really. Eyelash extensions, going for manicures, facials. They we’re all your jam.

When you’re satisfied with yourself, tossing and musing your hair until it falls around your head in a messy way that looks more sexy then homeless you rise, intent on going and finding Wanda or something.

Not wanting to be alone anymore.

You almost walk out of your living room in a bralette- because of comfort reasons but think twice as you pass the mirror by the door.

You really didn’t want to give Tony a coronary on this fine Thursday.

Why couldn’t we all just walk around naked? Everyone would be a lot more comfortable. It would probably bring world peace.

So after throwing on a loose shirt and a cape like McQueen floral kimono you slip into a fluffy pair of slides and start your epic journey to find sustenance, thinking about how human beings greatest down fall was when we made it a systematic norm to have to be clothed… what kind of crazy weed had Jessica sold you?

------

You don’t think it’s attention you like, and you’ve thought about it a lot.

No, it’s affection.

You’d always been a…touchy person, and it had tended to get you into trouble. You understood boundaries, you just hated them. You didn’t know why it was such a taboo to show the people you cared about that you cared. Why was intimacy in friendships so frowned upon? Why couldn’t you wrap your arms around your friends. Kiss them on the cheek? Cuddle with them?

It just had never been a big deal to you. You liked touching, and fuck, did you liked to be touched.

When you walk into the kitchen, you’re surprised to find the gathering there.

Nat, Wanda and Clint stand at the island, cutting up veggies and talking between themselves. Thor and Bruce sit at a table with Steve and Bucky. It all seems so…pleasant. One of those rare quaint, normal moments in the tower. It would make anyone smile.

“Goodmorning, sunshines” You greet them as you walk in.

You steal a piece of tomato from Natasha’s cutting board and plop it into you mouth.

“Y/N you are aware that it’s almost one, right?” She informs you with a smile to which you just shrug.

“Technicalities. It’s still noon-ish so it’s morning��pretty much”

“Flawed way of thinking you got there, squirt” Clint criticized. His eleven year old had better sleeping habits then you.

“Flawed or brilliant?”

“You sound just like Tony” Bruce calls from his place across the room and you pull your head from the fridge.

“Why thanks”

When you cant find anything that catches your eye in the massive fridge, even though its brightly lit with an array of food, you call for FRIDAY and ask her if she could have the chef cook you up some Nutella crepes, “please and thank you!”

“How high are you right now?” Wanda reaches over to whisper to you knowingly and you lean forward to rest your chin on her shoulder, her long dark hair tickling your face pleasantly.

“Super. You have to try this shit that I got from Jessica, it’s crazy” You reply, your breath hot on her ear so that she’s the only one who can hear you.

The both of you break out in to giggles, girlish and young sounding. Wanda missed this, the having a connection like this with someone. Welcoming and relishing another’s touch in a way that was both intimate and utterly innocent.

She’d had it with Pietro…and then he’d gone and left her alone and she thought that was the end of it.

But then you’d gotten close to her, befriended her, and there it was again. Being able to just, melt with someone was something that should be cherished. She cherished her friendship with you. The way you let her lean into you with no resistance. You and your bright eyes and contagious laugh. She felt…she felt more like Wanda when she was with you. Less like Scarlett Witch.

Bucky hadn’t meant to watch you for as long as he had. He’d turned to you when you’d entered the room and hadn’t been able to tear his eyes away, for more then mere moments, since. It was a mixture of the tiny shorts you had on, the way the black lacy material rode up your sumptuous thighs…but mostly it was your interaction with Wanda. He wasn’t particularly close to her(he wasn’t particularly close to anyone except for Steve and Sam…although he’d never admit it) but he’d never seen the girl like this. Like you’d somehow lit her up from the inside.

The two of you we’re whispering and laughing like school girls, carefree and light and it stirred something in his stomach.

His eyes snap away as you approach the table.

“Hello sirs” you salute as you come up and take the seat in between Steve and Thor. It’s comical how intensely the two men dwarf you.

“Hello little woman” Thor squeezes your shoulder, his big palm encompassing the flesh “How was your sleep? It seems like it’s been days since you graced us with your presence”

You cant help bite your lips together to hide a grin. Would you ever get over the regal manner in which Thor talked?

Probably not.

“Yeah, Y/N. How are you feeling today? Less drowsy?” It’s the tone in Bruce’s voice you don’t like, not his words. He’s using his doctor’s voice on you.

Yes, Bruce knew about your…situation. Tony had told him, with your permission, so that he could help monitor the process. You didn’t mind him knowing, you just didn’t want him blowing it and everyone finding out about it. It was a sensitive subject for you and you’d rather keep it quiet. It’s not that you didn’t trust the others its just…you weren’t ready for it to be public knowledge.

You didn’t want to be looked at differently.

“I’m fine” You play it off “My sleeping schedule’s just been off. I just had to reset my internal clock to the eastern time zone. No biggie’”

Bruce wants to ask you more but he’s a smart man, and decides he’d press the issue later in the privacy of the lab. He knew what it was like to want to keep a secret, and he wasn’t about to go making you uncomfortable by blowing yours.

You reach over to steal one of the fries off of Steve’s plate, sticking you tongue out at him “How has you guy’s day been so far? No alien invasions yet?”

You had a way of setting the atmosphere, keeping it light.

You talk with the guys until Bruce leaves, needing to go run some labs or smash some things…okay that was an asshole joke, you chastise yourself. You didn’t like teasing him about his little green problem, Thor follows him. Talking about some meeting he was being “forced unwillingly to attend”

“Good luck, big guy” You kiss his cheek before he leaves.

“So really, what have you guys been up to today” You ask the two men you’re left with as you cut into your crepes.

“Nothin’ much, it’s been a quiet one so far. Just training. I was thinking about going for a walk later on, maybe Central Park? Get some sketching in while I can” Steve answers.

“You drawing more, Steve? That’s amazing! You’ll have to show me some of your stuff sometime! I remember they were always so good” You urge him excitedly. Since you’d known him, you’d tried to push him to take his art seriously. Fuck knows it was his only release. You had a feeling even Steve Rogers had a breaking point, you also had no desire to ever see it.

Only Steve’s ears turn red, which is actually progress for him “Yeah, I can do that”

“Really? So a pretty girl asks to see your sketchbook and your game, but I, your best friend cant?” Bucky sees an opening and cant help but take it “Whatta’ Jerk”

Okay, where did that come from? You fight to keep the shock off of your face. Pretty girl? Really?

“Well she’s not a crap critic like you are” Steve justifies himself “Last time I showed you somethin’ you told me that I couldn’t draw dog paws for shit”

“Hey, I was just kidding. That was about a year ago, too!” Bucky sounds truly apologetic and you break out into a squawk of laughter.

“You guys are so married, oh my god” You shake your head at the two of them. It’s cute… seeing them together. Both of their guards way down.

“Don’t encourage his behavior, Y/N” Steve’s trying not to chuckle.

You turn your attention to Bucky then, your body literally angling towards him as you focus in. “What about you, Bucky? Any big plans?”

Why? Why does his brain turn off when you look at him like that? Your gleaming eyes looking at nothing but his face.

“Uh- nothing yet, doll”

“Awe if I didn’t have to go shopping I’d say lets have our marathon!”

“Marathon?” Steve wonders, his eyes flashing between the two of you.

“Yeah, I’m going to force Bucky to watch Harry Potter with me. You know, bring his life great enlightenment and fulfilment” You answer him nonchalantly, taking a bite of your food. Letting out a little moan and crossing your eyes “Oh my gosh this is amazing”

Did you mean to look so sexual? The way your pretty lipstick coated lips wrapped around that fork had Bucky tensing.

“No really you guys, who even is this new chef? Is he the second coming of Christ? Taste this!” You encourage as you cut another piece and hold it out to Bucky, your hand under it incase it falls.

He doesn’t know what to do. Does he turn you down? Would that be rude? Would it hurt your feelings?

So he just opens his mouth and allows you to feed him the sweet pastry.

“Amazing, huh?”

“Mmhmm, really good” is all Bucky mumbles, trying to keep the heat from his face.

“Steve try it!” You urge, pouting a little when he doesn’t let you shove your fork in his mouth.

As tempting as the offer was- Nutella and the look on your face- Steve had learned his lesson. What if Tony came in and saw you spoon feeding him? Nope.

“I just ate a burger, I gotta’ watch my physique” He teases and your eyebrows knit together.

“Really, take a bite. I’m sure your physique can handle it. Here” You give him the fork so that he can feed himself.

Since when was Steve weird with you like that? You used to be able to…flow with him. Without even thinking about it?

You shrug it off as pot linked paranoia. Just because he didn’t let you spoon feed him didn’t mean you guys weren’t still close. Right?

“Hey are we still going shopping?” Wanda asks as she comes up “If so I’m going to go change?”

“Yeah! Definitely. I need to find a new backpack before I start school again next week. And yeah, I need to change too, you can come get ready with me in my room if you want” You stand quickly, scooting away from the table “You guys can have the rest of that. See ya’ later, gentleman"

And with that your sashaying out of the room with Wanda.

Steve notices Bucky staring at the sway of your hips.

“Bud…”

“Shut up, Steve”

“I told you. Y/N- She’s- Something else” Steve searches for the words “But the kid’s Tony’s pride and joy and we’re still on thin ice with the guy”

“How old is she anyway?” Bucky completely ignores the Tony part of Steve’s sentence. Why’d everyone call her kid? She looked a little young, with that dimpled smile but she was in college so she couldn’t be AS young as they treated her.

“Twenty three” Steve’s response is curt. Matter of fact.

Twenty three, huh? Bucky thinks. That is a little young…a lot younger then his near century. Not young enough for it to deter him, though.

Bucky doesn’t know what to say for a moment. Neither of them do really. It’s quiet as Steve eats the reminder of the crepes because holy shit you hadn’t been lying they were sent from heaven.

Then, Bucky’s handsome face stretches into a devilish smile. One Steve had seen many a’ time.

“She’s got a nice pair of gams on her, doesn’t she?”

Steve tries to purse his lips, but fails in hiding his own wolfish expression.

“That she does”

———

Because even though Steve is Captain America we all know he’s still that little shit from Brooklyn at heart right? Especially when Bucky’s around. Lesbi-honest here I have the major hots for Wanda and it’s taking all of my will power not to write her as a love interest but I really want to focus on a close, strong female friendship…even though I’m dying to have Y/N get her some Wanda😩

As usual give me some feedback! Going to slow? Too fast? Is Y/N too…touchy? What do you think the pills are for and do you want to be tagged? Tellllll me ya’ll

@devenrenee @skeletoresinthebasement @kendallefire @mellifluousbabe @toniinhere @agentmstark @purplekitten30 @bellaballanda @yslbucky @arabellaaurorabarnes @prinxessofspace @supernaturally-lucky @sngforme @kyritha @18crazybutcutealsopsycho @peaceloveancolor @gabwinchester-dixon

#bucky barnes x plus size reader #Bucky Barnes #Bucky Barnes smut #Tony Stark #tony stark daughter #mcu imagine #marvel #steve rogers #wanda maximoff #plus size reader #poc reader

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cliche-ish · 4 years ago

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We made it halfway

Context: What is written here happened in the beginning of July 2020. Yes we are halfway through 2020. Guess what else happened in 2020? COVID-19 and Trump... What a time to be alive! 🙃 A week ago Trump signed an order to suspend all H1B (working) visa processing until at least the end of the year. I have two friends from high school (let’s give them fake names, April and Ann, because Parks and Rec) who are working in Pittsburgh and Boston and applying for their H1B (working) visa this year. We went to high school in Vietnam together, and all went to the US at different schools for college. I was wondering if the order was going to affect them, so I sent them a few messages on Facebook to check how they were handling this. The previous time I sent them a message to them were probably at least 1-2 years ago. They both replied and said the visa suspension did not really affect them. We all caught up with one another through messaging and decided to set up a video call on the night of July 4th (because what else was there to do this year 😅).

Saturday, July 4th, 2020

You know how sometimes it takes a global pandemic to finally have time to catch up with your high school best friends who also live in the US but you never really had the chance to meet in person. 😅 The last time our group of friends did a video call was in 2013 or 2014. There we were again 6 years later, and we just hit if off instantly and talked non-stop for 4 hours. It was like those 6 years never existed and we were just together the day before. We talked so much our throats hurt haha.

We talked about everything. Of course we talked about people we went to school with and how/where they are now. Most of the friends went study abroad like us. Some of them came back to Vietnam. Some of them already got married. Then we talked about how rare it was that all of us were single at the same time and looked into planning a girls’ trip haha. We talked about relationship stuff, like what we want in a partner or a relationship or whether we want to get married or have kids. We talked about the people we dated and what we have learned from our previous relationships. We talked about how our American dreams as well as our perceptions about life in the US had shifted and changed and what we wanted as the purpose of our life. Like real serious adults talk haha.

Ann then brought up about someone from our school who went to Georgia Tech for college and committed suicide last year and how that how we all had some periods of time when we felt so lost and depressed. At that point Ann was very depressed and felt like her life was so meaningless. She said that suicide news was the wake-up call for her. So she asked her boss to give her a month off, and headed back to Vietnam and saw her family earlier this year in February (when COVID-19 was mustering and looming). When she came back to the US, she felt better and started looking for a new job. She landed one with Microsoft. (Yes girl!!) She told us the same stories of a few of our friends from middle school and high school who also had some periods where they felt so lost and depressed during their time living far away from family and friends in a new country and culture. April told us about her “sad period” and how becoming religious helped her find a way out. I talked about the time I lost my Grandma and how I sought out to therapy. (I promise to myself that I’ll normalize talking about mental health issues and therapy from now on, because not talking about them inevitably keeps them a taboo, when they are not.) We all coped differently. Luckily, we all actively found our ways to recover and felt better and was living our lives in the US when we had this conversation. But this path of being an international student that we chose is not always easy and not for everyone. Perhaps it could have helped if we’d known about each other’s difficult experience and shared with our friends who were also going through similar hardship. If there are any people that can understand, it’s them. So my friends and I, we made a pact that whenever one of us feels down and goes through any emotional or mental challenges ever again, we will let the others know.

The clock hit 1:45 am, and I suggested we call if a day. Ann, being Ann, asked if we could take a photo together and posted on Facebook, so we would be reminded years from now about this reunion. So I offered to take the photo, took it, sent it to them right away, and asked if the picture was okay. Ann said it looked good. She made a silly, cute pose with both her hands in a peace sign held high next to her face. April was like, “Yeah, it’s okay! Actually, hehe, can we take it again? I don’t look so good.” And I said, “Of course!”. April replied, “Yayyy hihi, thanks!” or something like that. I took it again, and this time everyone was happy. Then Ann made a comment, “Wow this is just like high school. April is still the awkward, shy baby, and [Me] is still the caring mom of the group.” And Ann is still the silly, hilarious one (you can tell based on her pose). It was just funny and interesting to see how we had changed and matured so much in the past years, and yet we were still the same people in high school.

Plot twist - Monday, July 7th, 2020

Like any day this year now, something shocking just happened today. While I can imagine Ann and April got quite some messages asking if the new order affected their working visa, 3 days later, it was my turn. This evening, a federal order was issued, saying that all students who attend schools decide to conduct 100% online classes in the Fall due to COVID-19 are mandated to leave the US or risk getting deported. I am currently on a student visa, which is affected by this order. My phone was flooded with messages from friends checking on me. Oh how the table has turned LOL.

This order came out right after Harvard announced they were doing entirely virtual classes for the Fall. The government wanted schools to stay open despite the pandemic ravaging the whole country and was afraid schools would follow Harvard’s move. Harvard, you freaked out the government, and played us all. But you sued the gov for this order, so we forgive you. 😂 When this order was released tonight, all hell broke loose for the international student community on social media. I can imagine the administration of all universities in the country are feeling the same shock, confusion, and dread.

My first reaction when I saw this was ironically to laugh. I just laughed. I have been laughing a lot lately at some of all the ridiculous things the President said or some of the bad news coming my way. Remember that time when he said he had been taking hydroxycloroquine for preventing COVID-19. Or when he suggested injecting disinfectants to kill the virus. And we also saw how that statement turned the whole country upside down. The White House, CDC, and all disinfectant companies was racing to issue statement against his advice and deal with the consequences that night and the next morning. I mean I must admit there was a little part of that that was funny, right? All of that can be great materials for a new episode on VEEP lol. So yeah, I laughed. Ironic laughs, but laughs nonetheless. I don’t know why I laughed. Maybe those things I heard were to absurd and ridiculous. Maybe I’ve gone crazy during this strange time. Maybe this is the new resort that my newly updated brain automatically seeks out to when I hear news like this. Aaah what a time to be alive! 😂 (If my life has an emoji, it is definitely this laugh cry emoji. 😂)

I told my friends I don’t know how this was going to play out for my case, but at this point, I honestly just feel fine. It’s not that I don’t care. I just feel fine. I’ve worked hard and tried my best to do all that I can to maximize my chance of getting a job here in the US and fulfill my goals and dreams. Anything else is out of my control. So whatever comes my way, I will cope with it and figure it up. I feel like at this point I have been through enough to know I can deal with anything and everything will be alright. Knowing who and how I am as a person now, I just know I will survive and thrive anywhere life takes me. 😁 So yeah, I laughed and I feel fine. I’d not be surprised if tomorrow I wake up to another one like this. I mean it’s 2020. Why not? 😂

And it truly feels fine. Probably because I know no matter what happens there is always hope and wonderful people in my life and in this world standing with me on my side. 😊

Update on Thursday, July 9th, 2020, 3 days after the issuance of the above order.

My university has been sending out emails every day to assure us international students that the university disagrees with the order and is doing everything they can to protect its international students and create a safe and viable environment for us to continue pursuing our education here in the US. My friends from all over the country reached out and checked on me to see if I would be affected by this order. Many of my American friends and colleagues have been speaking out and taking actions against this order. It’s not their fight, yet they chose to participate anyway and stand by the side of us international students. The amount of support that I have seen and received has been tremendous, and I am beyond grateful. My heart is so full.

All of this is truly a reminder for me to just care about others and choose to fight those battles not for me but for others. This is a fight against us international students, yet we are joined by people who are not affected by this incident at all. I want to remember how empowered and supported this has made me feel during the past few days by recording it here. There are a lot going on right now in the world and this country. A lot of different people are under attack, like Black people and the LGBTQ+ community. I am not one of them. I am not under those attacks. But when I am under one, people who are not affected choose to fight for and with me, because it is the right thing to do. And so I want to choose to fight those battles that are not mine and stand with others when it is the right thing to do.

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mubal4 · 5 years ago

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Wrapping It Up – The 4 x 4 x 48 Challenge

We are living in unique times. Interesting way to describe this I guess, but it is unique. Globally, we have pivoted, adapted, and by this time, created some new normals or at least different ways of doing things. Likely, some good habits have been formed and some may have gone back to some old tricks 😊!! I know I have consumed more beer and types of foods over the last two months than “normal.” 😊 It is all good though; based on what I’ve been fortunate enough to see, via social media, Facetiming/Video conferencing with family/friends, or just talking with folks, we’ve been overcoming these “unique” times well. Although changes have been made, one thing that has remained consistent for me is running. Overall, in the last 2+ months I don’t believe I am running farther or more. Like most of our lives, I’ve just changed some things up a bit. Part of that has been due to timing and circumstances with the quarantine and social distancing; some because the type of race I have coming up in July; and part because some shit has just gotten boring to be honest. So, when I saw this David Goggins Challenge video come across my Twitter feed, it grabbed my attention.

You can watch the 1-minute video, but it is basically running 4 miles, every 4 hours, for 48 miles. It was pretty cool how he positioned it too; “if you can’t run, walk; if you can walk; do pushups…….” It seemed like his intent was to just to get people moving, out of their comfort zone, and adapting to the nonsense. Since I am training for a 100-miler I thought this would be a great training exercise for a number of reasons. Obviously, the mile over two days, sleep deprivation, nutrition planning, and one big differentiator, life commitments!!! In the race, I won’t be thinking about family responsibilities, work, or puppy stuff 😊; it is just left foot, right foot. Since I started this on Thursday afternoon, I still had some conference calls to attend, work commitments, and family stuff so it added a layer. That said, as it relates to the family commits, Robin, as per usual, and the girls, sacrificed a ton, not only with dinners and puppy stuff, but, at least for Robin, sleep too. Thursday and Friday nights, I headed out at 1030pm and 230am. The first session each night, Robin was just about headed to bed but at 230am she was sleeping, and I tried to be as quiet as possible, for her, as well as for the puppy too 😊. It was nice to hear on Saturday morning once she woke up that that nights 230am session, she didn’t even hear me leave or come back. Guess all these years doing these crazy things it is good her mind is at ease while I run around Phoenix at 230 in the morning 😊😊😊!! That all said, none of this really came to mind when Robin and I discussed doing it. All I thought was 4 miles, every 4 hours, for 48 miles? I can do that!! So, at 230pm on Thursday, we got things started, easy peasy and session 2 at 630pm was awesome with a sunset, late afternoon run; I was in my happy place. All good. Got back and had a quick dinner (I will get into the nutrition in a moment) and we all were just chilling on the couch. Now, typically, Robin and I are toes up in bed by 10pm so, as my body clock was telling me, right around 945pm I started dozing a bit on the couch; fortunately, I had an alarm set just in case. But the thing was, I was setting an alarm for 1010pm to go out and run 4 miles at 1030pm. Needless to say, as I was tying my shoes, my comment to Robin, “why the hell did I commit to this; this is f#$%ing stupid.” She wished me a “have a good run, I will be sleeping when you get back.” 😊 The thoughts of feeling sorry for myself were quickly gone as soon as I started session number 3 and the night air, cooler temps, and darkness provided a different perspective to my run. I wanted to run around our area of town just to see what was happening, if there was anything happening. Out here in AZ, the stay at home orders are being lifted and there are a couple of restaurants/bars I would be running by so I was intrigued to say the least. There were still a few folks out walking at that time and traffic was light; however, this one bar, about 1 mile from our house, was packed. I guess the regulars were just waiting for things to be lifted. I went by again on Friday nights 1030pm run too and same deal. I giggled a bit but it also gave me a sense of relief that maybe things are working toward “normal.” Also, won’t lie, a beer sounded good at that time.

This is where adapting needed to happen because my body and internal clock was not going to be used to these next 30 or so hours. Running the initial 12 miles from 230pm through 1030pm wasn’t much out of the realm of my comfort zone. Now, I was getting home at 11pm, trying not to wake up Robin and the dog (the girls were still up doing what teenage girls do at that time 😊), getting fluids in, getting cleaned up, and getting things ready for 230am…….& hopefully trying to get sleep. Well, I was a bit amped up from the run so I thought that sleep was going to be tough. I got cleaned up, got plenty of water in me, and then figured I would watch some TV to put me to bed. Well, that worked, and I fell right asleep and woke up about 90 minutes later. Interestingly getting up at this moment and getting out was much easier than at 1030pm. Not sure why but it was. The run, however, was a bit weird and at both 230am sessions. I kept these 2 runs close to the house around this 1.35-mile loop. I didn’t want to stray to for, well, since it is 230am. On the first loop, Thursday, I guess this would be Friday morning, I first heard a rooster crowing!! Yep, a rooster – we don’t live near any farmland. On the second loop, I heard what I thought was a leaf blower…..@ 230am? What the hell? Then, the most interesting thing happened on the last loop. I was on this one road, drive it daily, and I white SUV pulls out of a side street. Okay, at that time of night, could be going to work, coming back, whatever. They pull out but just turnaround and head back where they came. My first thought was that maybe they were scouting out homes/cars to break into or something or, maybe they were just drunk. No big deal. I finished up the run and went home; didn’t think about it. However, 24 hours later, on that same loop at that same time, same car, same spot, pulls out, now we are going towards one another, it stops…………I kept running, faster now and find a dark spot on the road, click off my headlamp and stop. The car was already moving but then did the same thing, u-turn in the middle of the road. This was a bit freeky man and it was on my first loop too. I was running by there two more times. Holy shit right!! Well, nothing happened but it was just some weird stuff. I told Robin yesterday afternoon that I was going to go up there all next week at 230am, dressed in all black and see what happens 😊.

That was pretty much the only excitement of the event. Back to Friday morning, since the nature of this event, getting time on the trails was difficult but did go out at 630am Friday. Got on the trail, got some climbing in and it was a beautiful day. Stopped to take a shot of the trails from the top that I shared above. Also was able to get out on the trails Friday night and Saturday morning. Friday night I was able to meet a nice rattlesnake too!!! By “meet” I mean he was on the side of the trail and scared the poop out of me. I never did see him, just heard him. Not sure if I would rather face the white SUV or the rattler? The remaining sessions were all, pretty much, uneventful; just getting them done and keep moving forward. Overall, it was a great challenge and believe awesome training on many fronts. Although there wasn’t much climbing, it did offer a number of different layers that will definitely help come July. Want to again thank Robin and the girls for all the support, sacrifice, and help they provide me during these nutty things I do. All the folks that reached out via text, calls, or the FB live sessions, thank you very much. Very inspirational and you guys helped keep me going.

Haven’t been much into statistics and stuff when it comes to these kinds of things. Hell, up until January I was still using my 20+ year old Ironman stopwatch but Robin got me this Garmin one for Christmas and it has been fun to sort of geek out with it. So, for those that may be interested, I am providing some “noticings” from the 4x4x48 event. Thanks again for keeping me going and following along 😊!!

· Started at 230pm 5/14 and ended at 1059am 5/16 – total hours = 44.5-ish!

· Total miles = 48.7

· Total running time = 433 minutes (7 hrs 13 mins) – thought this was interesting that it was an exact number. Zero seconds after added up 😊

· Average pace = 8:53 (36:05 average for each 4ish mile session

· Total Vert = 1186

· Sleep = approximately 5 hours total

· 9 shirts & 7 pairs of shorts (yep – reused shorts – easy to do when you jump in the pool after a run), 12 pairs of socks, 3 different pairs of running shoes

· Food intake – 2 strawberry/banana milkshakes, 2 peanut butter/banana Clif bars, 2 apples, 1 grilled cheese, 2 hummus tortilla wraps, approximately a half a box of regular Cheeze-itz (original flavor), couple handfuls of peanut butter pretzels, 1 double expresso Clif bar gel

#4x4x48 - outsidethecomfortzone callousthemind preparethesoul beadaptable

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theliterateape · 5 years ago

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Hope Idiotic | Part 16

By David Himmel

Hope Idiotic is a serialized novel. Catch each new part every week on Monday and Thursday.

LATER THAT WEEK, LOU STARTED THERAPY. He’d gone to a psychologist before when he was in sixth grade. He was misbehaving in school, collecting an average of one detention a day from one teacher or another. He even managed to get a detention while in detention. His parents were convinced his behavioral problems stemmed from some sort of internal conflict. They had mistaken internal conflict as being a twelve-year-old class clown.

They sent him to Dr. Farber, a man who bore a striking resemblance to his junior high school’s assistant principal. Lou had four sessions with Dr. Farber and lied throughout every single one of them. He lied about his friends and girls and his grades and how good he was at basketball and anything else that came up. He didn’t want that man to know anything about him.

But this time was different. This time something was wrong, and Lou knew it. He was barely functioning, on the verge of a complete panic attack at all times. Even after his meltdown in Mexico, he felt volatile. He had no appetite. He craved alcohol. Several times a day he felt like tears were about to burst from his eyes. Thinking about Pop dying made him lightheaded. He was putting himself into therapy because Michelle told him to. But he wanted to get better.

Dr. Sharon Milner had an office in Edgewater, a neighborhood farther north than Lou had ever been in the city at that point. She was a gentle and quiet woman. She wore long dresses and colorful sweaters. Some sort of world music played softly from an iPod dock in the waiting room. Her office was in the basement of her home, and her three golden retrievers — Rosie, Daisy and Lily — put as many hours in at the office as did their master.

Lou liked being greeted by the dogs when he came for his appointments. It was relaxing enough that momentarily he didn’t feel the usual panicked sickness. It made him miss his own dog. It reminded him of sincere affection without an ulterior, selfish agenda. He didn’t even mind that Rosie, Daisy and Lily would share the big black couch with him while he prattled on about, well, everything. But mostly, he talked about Michelle.

“She’s saying that she needs to trust me. But how do I know that I can trust her?” he said as Rosie panted loudly.

“You don’t,” Dr. Milner said.

“Then what’s the point of any of it? How can you make a decision to do anything?”

“Those are the chances we take in relationships.”

“But Michelle needs a sure thing.”

“Well, that’s unrealistic.”

“But it’s not.”

“It is, Lou. She can’t bend life to her will. Things happen. Situations change. People panic and lose their temper.”

“But on her thirtieth birthday? I mean, of all the times—”

“It happened. What we need to do is understand what causes you to have those outbursts and find a way to manage them better. You can only control the way you react.”

“This teaching idea was all Michelle’s. Teachers are needed, she said. We’d be able to travel, she said. I could still write if I wanted to, she said. And I went along with it, because sure, it sounds nice. But I don’t want to go back to school for two years and become a teacher. And what if I do go through with it? What if she turns on me when I’m not making enough money for her to quit her job and be a housewife? Teachers aren’t exactly known for their large sums of personal wealth. Christ, what did she think? That I would land a teaching job, write a best-selling novel on our first summer vacation, get hired by a university to teach creative writing with tenure and a six-figure salary? She once accused me of having unrealistic dreams.”

“Perhaps she’s projecting her fears onto you. She’s putting a lot of pressure on you to provide a life that she wants that you can’t give her right now.”

“Let me ask you: Am I crazy?”

“That’s a broad term.”

“But I want to give her that life. I want to have a job and make money and not have to collect unemployment or pay for a shrink through COBRA or worry about my grandfather and what Grams will do when he dies or my dad or my idiot brother or my insane mom or my drunk friend who can’t pay me fucking rent. I just want things to be simple so she isn’t so upset all of the time. Because I can handle all of that shit. You know? On my own, I can manage it. But it’s being accountable to her that makes things so much worse.”

“You’re dealing with an iceberg here, Lou. Your financial issues are just the tip of it. That’s what she’s most upset about, right?”

“It’s what she usually starts fights over, yes.”

“But there is much more happening beneath the surface. We have to address that.”

“No. Those things are always going to be there. It’s almost like I’m not allowed to feel anything about them.”

“But you do.”

“Of course.”

“And that’s why you’re here.” She looked at the small silver clock on the table at the corner of the couch and said quietly, as if she didn’t want to startle him—or the dogs, “We have to stop.”

This is how it went every Wednesday at 9 p.m. for three months. Lou sat on the black leather couch with the dogs and talked.

“I still get dizzy spells,” he said.

“What do you think causes those?” said Dr. Milner.

“Vertigo. An inner ear problem. I don’t know. Stress maybe.”

“When did the dizziness begin?”

“Right about when I moved here. That first summer. I was at a Cubs game with Michelle and her parents. We were walking through the bleachers — her dad and I — and I nearly fell over. Just walking.”

“Could it have been a height issue? Maybe you did experience some vertigo.”

“I’ve never had a problem with that before. I would get them a lot at the sales job. Sitting at my desk, the room would do a quick spin.”

“Is there a time when you notice them occurring more frequently than other times?”

“Mornings. In the bathroom. While Michelle is getting dressed for work, and I’m getting dressed for my day of looking for work, schools and drinking.”

“You should consider cutting out the alcohol.”

“Oh, I’ve considered it. And I’ve decided against it. It’s when I feel the least dizzy and shaky and not so anxious and terrified.”

“What are you terrified of?”

“You know what I’m terrified of.”

“Pop dying. Your friend Chuck’s situation in Las Vegas. Your relationship with Michelle. Your career.”

“Exactly. Let me ask you: Am I crazy?”

“That’s a broad term.”

“Am I clinically depressed? Do I have an anxiety disorder? Because I am always depressed. I am always anxious.”

“No, Lou, I don’t think you’re crazy. Your conditions are entirely circumstantial. You have a tendency to attempt to live your life as if it were scripted. You try to foresee situations and experiences and react to those rather than reacting to what’s actually happening. When you find a job, you won’t be depressed about work.”

“Unless I hate that job.”

“There you go. You’re creating a future event to explain your current response. Try to avoid doing that. Because then you’ll be able to cope appropriately to the present conditions. And that way, when you find a job, you won’t be depressed about work. When you make a better living, Michelle will not fault you for not earning.”

“I heard what you just said, but I have to apply historical behavior here and say that Michelle will probably always fault me for something related to finances. Unless, or until, I’m earning more than she is or ever did. It’s a cross between being a spoiled only child and being, well… frankly, she’s a sexist. A misogynist, really. She wants her man to be the primary earner so she can stay home and do …I don’t know what. Raise the kids? There’s not a motherly bone in her body. Jesus… Setting the bar pretty high when she was making 120 grand before she even finished law school. Then she decides to date me. What the fuck?”

“You may be right in your assumption there, Lou. But everything else, Pop, Chuck, the job… there will come a time when those things no longer affect you in the negative way.”

“Like when Pop dies, I won’t be terrified of Pop dying.”

“Correct. It’s circumstantial.”

“But then I worry about Grams and Dad. Then Mom… It doesn’t end.”

“You’re scripting feelings you don’t have yet. Stop it. Manage the circumstantial feelings when the circumstances present themselves, not before.”

“Okay. But I’m so whacked out on all of it… all of the circumstances all at once, that I am unable to manage anything at all. I’m unable to manage my freak-outs because I’m freaking out at the unmanageability of it all.”

“I’m going to refer you a psychologist.”

“So I am crazy.”

“Not at all, Lou, no. Perhaps there’s a medication that can help you focus so that you can manage your way out of the woods.”

“Are you prescribing something for me?”

“I cannot. Dr. Khorashi can, if he thinks medication would be beneficial at this time. He’s a colleague of mine. I’ll give you his information.”

“Quit the booze, switch to pills. Modern medicine.”

Dr. Milner looked at him with a barely amused grin, then said softly, as if not to wake the dogs, “We have to stop.”

#Hope Idiotic #Bildungsroman #Chicago Fiction #Fiction #Dark Humor #David Himmel Author #David Himmel Novel #David Himmel Fiction

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robertmcangusgroup · 7 years ago

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The Daily Tulip

The Daily Tulip – International News From Around The World

Thursday 17th August 2017

Good Morning Gentle Reader…. All the cars in Estepona that parked on the street last night are a pale yellow color, it rained last night and the clouds moved north from the Sahara in Africa to Spain and dropped the sand picked up in the desert and left it in Spain, for the car washes to remove this morning.. as Bella and I walked the streets the council workers were out in force washing the streets and plants down, removing the sand…it was crunchy underfoot where they hadn’t washed the pavements.. I recall this happening when I lived in Hampshire back in the 1950’s waking up one morning with yellow streets, made delivering the newspapers different… ah! Nature.. the things it does and the memories we recall….. Well my system is recalling that we haven’t had coffee yet and I need a mug, so let’s fill up two mugs, one for me one for you.. and so let’s look at the news….

BIG BEN'S BONGS TO FALL SILENT UNTIL 2021 FOR REPAIRS…. Big Ben's famous chimes will fall silent from next week until 2021 to allow essential repair works to take place. The “Bongs” will sound for the final time at midday on Monday before being disconnected to allow the clock and surrounding tower to be restored. The Great Bell has sounded on the hour for 157 years. It last fell silent in 2007 and before that, for major refurbishments between 1983 and 1985. Parliamentary authorities said stopping Big Ben - the commonly used name for the Palace of Westminster's Elizabeth Tower - would protect workers carrying out the repairs. It will still sound for important events including New Year's Eve and Remembrance Sunday. The clock's keeper, Steve Jaggs, said Big Ben falling silent was a "significant milestone" in the project to restore the tower. "This essential programme of works will safeguard the clock on a long term basis, as well as protecting and preserving its home - the Elizabeth Tower," he added.

IRAN FOOTBALLERS BREAK ISRAEL SPORTING 'TABOO'…. Two Iranian footballers have been both praised and condemned in their home country after turning out for their Greek club side against Israel's Maccabi Tel Aviv. While the Europa League third qualifying round match between Panionios of Athens and Maccabi will probably not last long in the memories of either set of fans, the appearance on the pitch of Iranians Masoud Shojaei and Ehsan Hajsafi in the Greek capital has not gone unnoticed back home. The Islamic Republic does not recognise the state of Israel, and forbids Iranian athletes from competing against Israeli athletes at international sports events. Last year, athlete Alireza Khojasteh withdrew from the judo competition at the Rio Olympics citing "personal reasons", but it is widely thought that his decision was based on the possibility of facing an Israeli opponent. Some social media users praised the footballers, who both wore green, white and red wristbands representing the Iranian flag, for disregarding the ban. "Why have talented athletes been wasted by this taboo? Breaking this taboo is a big development. Let's be with them whatever the cost may be," one user tweeted. "The 'concerned ones' [Iranian hardliners] will now start insulting them, saying that Islam has been put in danger," said another Twitter user, posting a video showing the two players walking out on the field with their teammates.

PET SNAKE SPOTTED RIDING ON BOSTON TRAIN…. A man was spotted riding a train in Massachusetts while holding his pet snake on Monday afternoon. Twitter user Anne Keane shared video of the man and his slithering pet and asked the Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority to clarify its stance on traveling with snakes. "Snake. On the train," she wrote. "MBTA uh...what's the policy here?" The MBTA responded to Keane's inquiry and asked her to provide details about the train ride before clarifying the snake was not permitted to be handled out in the open during the ride. "During peak hours, small domestic animals must be kept in a lap-sized carrier," the MBTA said. Keane told WHDH other passengers were intrigued by the snake, but she wasn't a fan of the unusual pet. "It was gross," she said. "This was probably the weirdest thing I've seen on the train." The MBTA reminded passengers of its pet regulations and Keane said she hopes it will be the last time she shares a ride with a snake. "I don't want to see snakes on a train. I don't want to see snakes on a plane," she said.

'DRIVERLESS VAN' ACTUALLY PILOTED BY MAN DRESSED AS CAR SEAT…. A man dressed in a costume resembling a car seat was found to be responsible for reports of a "driverless van" in Virginia. Residents of Arlington County reported an unmarked gray van, that appeared to have no driver, cruising up and down local streets while driving cautiously and keeping up with traffic. The van's windows were darkly tinted and cameras and a light bar were seen behind the windshield. While investigating the mysterious van, NBC Washington's Adam Tuss, realized a man dressed in a car seat costume was actually behind the wheel of the vehicle. "I looked out and I said, 'Oh my God, there's a guy in a seat costume,'" Tuss said. "How's that possible? Your brain can't get around it for a second." Tuss approached the 2017 Ford Transit Connect and knocked on the window, where he saw a man's hands and legs sticking out from underneath the costume. "Brother, who are you? What are you doing? I'm with the news, dude," Tuss said. "Dude, can you pull over and we can talk for a second?" The driver didn't respond to Tuss, but the Virginia Tech Transportation Institute later revealed the van and its driver are part of a study about driverless cars. "The driver's seating area is configured to make the driver less visible within the vehicle, while still allowing him or her the ability to safely monitor and respond to surroundings," the institute said. Police and the Virginia Department of Transportation said they were not aware of the vehicle, but Arlington county officials were involved in planning the study.

NEPAL MOBILIZES TO SAVE THREATENED VULTURES…. Keep calm and carrion. In Nepal, vultures have long been reviled as ugly, unlucky creatures. But four of nine local species are critically endangered after now-banned bovine medication poisoned cow carcasses. Locals stepped in to save them, caring for chicks and opening vulture “restaurants,” where visitors pay to see them fed. That’s boosted tourism and revived the population to 111 sightings this year from 76 last year. But authorities say the hard work must continue to give the birds — whose scavenging is necessary for sanitation — a fighting chance of survival.

Well Gentle Reader I hope you enjoyed our look at the news from around the world this, Thursday morning… …

Our Tulips today are Tulips by the river....

A Sincere Thank You for your company and Thank You for your likes and comments I love them and always try to reply, so please keep them coming, it's always good fun, As is my custom, I will go and get myself another mug of "Colombian" Coffee and wish you a safe Thursday 17th August 2017 from my home on the southern coast of Spain, where the blue waters of the Alboran Sea washes the coast of Africa and Europe and the smell of the night blooming Jasmine and Honeysuckle fills the air…and a crazy old guy and his dog Bella go out for a walk at 4:00 am…on the streets of Estepona…

All good stuff....But remember it’s a dangerous world we live in

Be safe out there…

Robert McAngus

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dawningasalenna · 8 years ago

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Life was meant for good friends and great adventures.

Leaving the Philippines last February, the last two familiar faces I saw were Kike and Blanca‘s. Meeting them last January was one of the highlights of my comeback in Mapua. I met Blanca first when AJ wasn’t able to meet her as the student buddy. A week later, Kike arrived from Spain. I definitely clicked with Blanca right away. With Kike, it was until maybe later that we became closer. Before leaving Philippines, I traveled with them (together with Zeus and other international students in Mapua) during the weekends and we partied together every Thursday (ifykwim)! Both of them became really close to my heart.

Keeping in touch with them, they would send me photos of where they are traveling and I would do the same. Eventually, with all the talk of visiting, they booked a ticket to Taiwan! (They missed me too much. Haha. Just Kidding!) Kike then told me that his friend, Daniel, is gonna come along. He told me that his friend wanted to party in Taipei. Constantly pestering me, we made plans on what we will do when they arrive. Checklists made, AirBnbs booked, couchsurfing hosts confirmed – everything was all set!

Filled with excitement, I started packing my bags the night before they came. I arranged their sleeping areas for when they come to my dorm since Mr. Lin told me that they could stay and sleep when they arrive from the airport. Having a delayed flight, they arrived Zhongli at around 4’o clock in the morning. I waited for them outside the dorm. Hugs! I was so happy to see them again. It was also nice to meet Daniel for the first time. Unluckily, no eating place was open so their first meal in Taiwan was from Family Mart. (So sorry guys! I brought sushi from the night market, that should be fine. Haha.)

Day One: Taipei

Up after 3 hours of sleep, I was excited to showcase my Chinese speaking abilities to my friends. We went to a breakfast shop and I ordered them my favorites: zhua bing and dan bing. Of course, nai cha! Walking towards my university, we grabbed some xiaolongbao and went to sit down at one of the benches in the campus.

Since it was almost 10, we took the bus to the train station and arrived in Taipei at around 11. Since it was already 11, we decided to check in our AirBnb place. Funny as it may seem, we got lost! Apparently, the map on the app was different with the address. An hour of searching for our place, Daniel found a Mexican guy with his Taiwanese girlfriend who helped us on locating Mia‘s Bnb!

Exhausted with all the walking (we had our huge bags btw), we rested for a bit before meeting Victor and Chingching who just came from Xiangshan (Elephant Mountain). Finally, I got to meet Victor from couchsurfing! As everyone’s tummies growled, Victor suggested that we have beef noodles soup for lunch. We went into a nice Taiwanese place and had a hearty meal! Kike’s chopsticks skills were so terrible that he had to use a fork. Hahaha! (Sorry Kike, I just had to. The first time we ate at Chinatown, I thought to myself, “Why the hell does this guy not know how to use chopsticks?”)

Heading off to the famous Chiang Kai Shek Memorial Hall, we watched the ceremony. I was quite surprised to hear that Daniel knows about the history of Chiang Kai Shek! Impressive. He was narrating the background as if he were a tour guide. Applause, Daniel!

Having Mankiw arrive at CKS, we split up with Victor and Chingching since they wanted to visit the library. Blanca’s wish was granted: we headed to Longshan temple! Mankiw showed us around the temple while explaining how the prayers work as well as what kind of gods and goddesses were in the temple. We even tried the wishing thing with the wooden crescent moons! I got a “Yes!” for my question.

Rain started pouring and everyone was just dead tired. We did our last walking tour at the Bopiliao historical block and hopped on the MRT back home. We decided we needed rest at home before partying. One funny thing is when we were searching for home, these kids were wondering what we were asking. I forgot what Watson taught me, the Chinese of McDonalds which is mai dang lao. After a while, we figured it out and they led us to the McDonalds. Thanks kids!

Rested up, we prepared for the party at Halo. My friend who’s the DJ of NekBrace, placed us on the list of Halo and Elektro. I met him on the party bus for the Spring Break on the beach, crazy times. Since Jay told me we could meet at 12, we went to Shilin Night Market first which was terrible that night since it was raining! Arriving at ATT4Fun, we saw my friend, Phillip! It was a nice encounter though he was partying at a different place. We went up to Halo and was greeted by Jay at the door. (Thanks a lot, Jay!) We had a few drinks by the DJ’s area and eventually started dancing at the middle where the party’s at.

Funny story! My friends actually met Dennis that night at the party. He wasn’t supposed to come, but he came in at the last minute. (All the way from Tainan!) I’m so glad he did, my friends met him. He even clicked with Daniel. Partying with the cool squad, we had such a fun night. I met this woman named Chao Anni who just smothered me with drinks. (Okay, maybe smothered is too much. Haha.) Due to that, I got my ass super wasted that I couldn’t remember what happened next. As Dennis told me, he had to carry my ass back home. Piggy back ride, yo! It’s even funny that I slept on a bush. The rest is just too embarrassing to say. (Shoutout to Dennis for taking care of me!)

Day Two: Taichung

Waking up late, I had to meet my friends at the Taipei Main Station so that we can catch the train that brings us to Taichung before 12 noon. Got our HSR tickets on time, but missed our train right before the door closed! It was quite embarrassing since Dad Vincent came to pick us up at the station and Rose/Jo-Tsen, my university buddy, is waiting for us at the restaurant.

On a hilarious side note, there was this Taiwanese girl who was taking selfies before getting on the train. She was actually pretty! And she knows it, lol. Betting on how long she would take more selfies on the train, Daniel and Blanca were shocked that she took more time than they expected. Kind of self-absorbed, the girl was on Daniel’s eyes the whole train ride. He tried to say goodbye to her when she was about to get off the train, but she was too busy thinking about her self. Crazy, I know!

Arriving Hsinchu, my dad came back to the HSR station since he thought we took a taxi to the restaurant because our arrival was later than expected. (Sorry, dad!) Hugs when we saw each other again. Vincent looked dashingly handsome on his vest and whole outfit. My friends instantly loved him. After a short ride, we finally came to the restaurant where Rose was waiting for us. My Mom Miranda, Brother Neil and Baby Felix came to meet us for lunch! “Happy Birthday, Neil!” I blurted as I hugged him out. I was so happy to see my Taiwanese family again since I missed them so much. Our lunch celebration of my brother’s birthday was amazing since we were at the really nice Wuwei restaurant. The food was exceptional; from the main course to the desserts – our tummies enjoyed the delicious feeding session. On top of that, we experienced a tea ceremony which was so different from what I saw in Korea.

Hugging everyone goodbye, I had to go back to Taipei for my meeting with TWIYC.tw since I’m volunteering for them. I met up with Dennis after to party at the Triangle where Jay DJed amazingly with his hiphop hits. I wasn’t much of a mess that night.

Day Three: Hsinchu

9:30, I am still in bed trying to make my way up. I jumped right out and hurried my way to the train station. Dennis told me that I am in no way reaching my train at 10:00. He even told me he’d get me a nai cha if I can catch my train. Luckily, Chi-Yu, booked the tickets early so I only needed to rush into the train. At 9:58, I arrived into the Taipei Main Station and ran as fast as I can to the TRA area. Chi-Yu waved at me as he was past the ticketing area. He handed me my ticket and we entered our train at exactly 10:00. Phew, that was a rush. I was breathing like a maniac! (Dennis, you owe me!) Kike, Blanca, and Daniel are supposed to arrive at Hsinchu at around 10:45 or something. We arrived at 11:00.

On our way to Hsinchu, I got to know Chi-Yu better. He was supposed to host me and my friends in Tainan if we wanted to go. However, I already have planned the Taichung and Hsinchu trips that’s why we just met up for the weekend. He joined us to Hsinchu which was really nice. He’s a neuroscientist who studied in Japan and is now going to the US for his internship from May to August then pursuing his PhD in the UK next year. How great is that!? I’m kind of jealous of how smart he is. I was so fascinated of what he has been doing. Thanks couchsurfing, I’ve been meeting a lot of amazing people here in Taiwan.

Hsinchu, at last! Poly waved at me as we exited the train station. He came with his wife Jenny and their friend Kevin. Just right on time! My friends came in first. We went on a drive for lunch and had some Taiwanese food. Since the plan of hiking was scratched, we went to the Hsinchu coastline for leisurely biking. We walked around the local fish market first and grabbed our bikes for the 34KM bike ride!

Beaches, lakes, farm fields, trees, wind turbines – it was a perfect day with the perfect weather. I was awed with how beautiful the bike ride is. Relaxing as it gets, we even had ice cream on one of our stops and some fresh pineapples at the lighthouse.

As we head back, me and Kike were pedaling so fast that we lost the others. Even though Daniel got past us and reached the finish line first. Coincidentally, we saw a pug on our way back! I biked really slowly since the pug was on this family type of bike that has an electric machine. I was biking behind them and staring at their cutie pie. Kike took some nice photos, muchas gracias!

After our bike rides, we headed to Poly and Jenny’s place to have dinner. We ate Taiwanese food and had a really delicious Taiwanese dessert! Since Daniel had to catch his flight, he didn’t stay for the night and Chi-Yu went back to Taipei since he’ll meet us at Fulong the next day. We thought the night was done, but Kevin came over bringing his craft beer! It was an amazing beer tasting experience (with funny drinking games as well). He actually told us that he started making his homemade beer just because he liked beer. Now, he’s selling his beers all over Taiwan! As VIP as we are, we got to taste the experimental batch. I loved all of his beers. The first two were fruity and very light which I appreciated more than the darker ones. Trying his beers that are on the market already, one tasted like coffee since it’s made from malt. However, the other was black IPA and also really nice. I am definitely coming back to Hsinchu for more beer tasting sessions.

Day Four: Fulong

Last day before two of my good friends leave Taiwan! We woke up really early, 5 in the morning! Kike was awake already since around 1:30 because I woke him up when I got out of bed to niao niao. Dropping us off at the train station, Poly headed off to work in Zhongli. We waited for our train to Fulong. One of the highlights of bringing my friends there is to scuba dive. Even Chi-Yu was convinced to try scuba diving for the first time! I was so excited for his first scuba diving experience and also for my first dive with El Kike. That’s one thing we shared, our love for scuba diving. I think that’s why we became really close – one of the reasons actually.

Arriving at Fulong, we went to a breakfast shop and saw Paul. He was heading to the Scubar to open it up. After breakfast, we met Nigel at the shop and had our equipment prepared. It was a fun day for a dive! I was trying to convince Nigel that he should bring us to a nice dive site since Kike will only dive once for the day because of his flight. (Risk of nitrogen narcosis if you dive then fly, 12 hours for a dive and 18 hours for two.) Luckily, he brought us to Garden of Eden! Ian, Irene, and Aaron were all there too! Yay, fun dive! Indeed it was an amazing dive. We went around a wreck and enjoyed the whole dive site with its marine life. I personally think it’s the best dive I’ve been in Fulong, yet.

I would dive again with Nigel, Ian, Irene, and Aaron, but I didn’t want my friends to wait for me. We had curry for lunch and ice cream – lots and lots of Nijel’s Ice Cream! (My favorite part of the day.) So, we decided to chill and walk around the nice temple overlooking Fulong beach.

We went to Taipei then and saw the Grand Hotel. The hotel’s architecture was quite stunning. Entering its lobby, we were fascinated with how red everything is. There was a pianist and violinist playing soothing music perfectly matching the place’s ambiance. We walked around before hopping on a bus to the Shilin Night Market.

Blanca’s words, “This is so different from what we saw a few days ago. It’s an entirely different place.” There was no rain and there were a lot of people. It was definitely the famous Shilin Night Market! Bustling with crowds, we went on food booths and filled our stomachs with satisfying night market food. With all the walking, we agreed to call it a day. Everyone was 0% energy-wise.

Getting off the MRT, Chi-Yu went home and we went off the Taipei Main Station. It was sad saying goodbye to Chi-Yu since he’s going to Washington soon. But, he’s doing his open water diving course with Nigel when he comes back! I’m so glad he said that. Coming to the end of their trip, I said my goodbyes to Blanca and Kike. I didn’t want them to go, actually. It made me quite sad that the four days went by so quickly! But then again, I’ll see them when I get back to the Philippines. Adios, te veo pronto!

#DawningInTaiwan: Viaje rápido? Vámonos! Life was meant for good friends and great adventures. Leaving the Philippines last February, the last two familiar faces I saw were…

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thesnootyushers · 8 years ago

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The British public loves a good police show. Here are some of the best!

The TV police procedural has been a stalwart of British television since Dixon of Dock Green first walked the beat in 1955. The genre has evolved and developed over the years, but the British TV bobby has never been too far from our hearts as we have tuned in en mass to watch their adventures.

With the recent death of Inspector Morse author Colin Dexter, and the highly anticipated 4th series of the amazing Line of Duty starting later today, Snooty Ushers Dave and James have put their heads together to make a list of our favourite British TV cop shows. The only rule was that it had to be about actual British police (so no Sherlock, Cracker, or any of those amateur sleuth shows). So, in no particular order, let us begin

Just missing out: New Tricks, The Fall, Ripper Street, Between The Lines, Rebus (with Ken Stott, not John Hannah), Maigret (because it is French!), A Touch of Cloth

Line of Duty (BBC, 2012-)

Dave: What better place to start than with the original inspiration for this list, the brilliant Line of Duty. The show focuses on AC-12, a special team of elite officers who investigate the police. While this echoes the similarly themed Between The Lines from the 90s, it stands on its own as one of the best British police procedural dramas. About to enter its 4th season, each series focuses on a different, but interconnected case, fronted by a high profile British actor. The AC-12 team recur throughout. It is grounded firmly in reality and it so brilliantly written, intricately plotted and tightly directed that something as simple as 3 people sitting in a room having a conversation can deliver such incredible tension. The cast to deserve so much credit, the AC-12 officers led by Irish stalwart Adrian Dunbar’s damaged every-man Superintendent, Martin Compston is instantly relatable as the terrier like DS Steve Arnott (although I do take issue with him not using his Scottish accent), but it is Vicky McClure as DC Kate Flemming who is the real star. The 3 series so far have weaved such a tight web of intrigue and tension that I wouldn’t dare revel any plot points here, I would just implore you all to catch up before the new series starts. If you need another reason, Keeley Hawes, in Series 2, gives one of the most devastating, intense and down right brilliant performances in recent memory.

James: This is a show that proves that British TV can match anything from around the world. It’s also my favourite ongoing British show of any genre. One mistake seemingly ruins a promising young police officer’s career, and he is shunted to the AC-12 (“Internal Affairs” if we were in America), in an attempt to push him out of the force. But instead, DS Arnott truly finds his niche, as does the show itself. There are loads of police shows with conflicted and morally ambiguous lead characters, but Line Of Duty focuses almost entirely on their feet of clay, yet never falls into witch-hunt territory. Lennie James, Keeley Hawes, and Daniel Mays have given three different performances as heroic cops who come under AC-12’s gaze, and the three series so far have all taken different paths, never covering the same ground. And the interrogation room scenes are the high point of the show as weeks, sometimes years worth of story lines are brought together. A truly great show.

Life on Mars (BBC, 2006-07)

Dave: If Line of Duty is grounded in reality, this is something different all together. Sam Tyler (John Simm) is a DCI working in Manchester. When he is involved in a car accident, he wakes up in 1975. He is still a cop, but a rank lower and finds himself working for the oafish DCI Gene Hunt (Philip Glenister). This just worked on every level. The ambiguity surrounding Sam’s predicament kept us guessing. Is he dead? crazy? In a coma? Or has he actually traveled back in time? The world of modern policing contrast with the good old days of the 70s made for some thrilling moments and some genuinely funny moments too, with the chemistry between Simm’s straight laced, lateral thinking, by the book cooper and Glenister’s blunt instrument works a treat. The ambiguity continued after the conclusion of the series, with the story continuing on the 80s set sequel series Ashes To Ashes, which saw Gene Hunt move to London and paired with a female detective (Keeley Hawes). While never hitting the heights of Life On Mars, it ran for 3 seasons and gave us a satisfyingly heart-breaking conclusion. This will be forever remembered for giving us immortal and unforgettable DCI Gene Hunt.

James: Whether it was their intention from the very beginning or not, the makers of Life On Mars got to cherry pick all of the best bits out of 70s cop shows. We got a modern piece of television – Sam Tyler struggling with the nature of his reality and Gene Hunt getting into car chases and punching criminals. And as someone who lived in Manchester it was great to see how they shot around the city to get that Seventies feel.

Also, the third series of Ashes To Ashes also deserves a mention, as Daniel Mays (who featured in Line Of Duty as well) gave a fantastic performance that shepherded the whole saga to a great conclusion.

Snooty Usher TV Trivia Fact #711 – The American version of Life On Mars (with Harvey Keitel as Gene Hunt) ended after one season, and being years away from wrapping their own version, the original writers gave their US counterparts free reign, and they came up with a doozy. Both the “modern day” and 1970’s realities were both just a simulation to keep astronauts minds active on a mission to Mars, and a glitch had causes Sam’s program to jump from one simulation to another.

Snooty Usher TV Trivia Fact #712 – There are currently Czech and Russian versions running in those countries that take their Sam Tyler character back to Soviet-era police, giving another level to the show.

Inspector Morse/Lewis (ITV, 1987-2015)

Dave: Based on the novels of Colin Dexter, Inspector Morse ran for 33 episodes across 13 years, becoming one of the nations favourite detectives. He was the epitome of the gentleman detective, a middle class bachelor with middle class interests, he drove a classic Jaguar, listens to opera and has a fondness for real ale, this was contrast in his relationship with his partner DS Lewis, a working class family man from the North East. Set in the beautiful city of Oxford, with the various colleges and classic architecture used as a stunning back drop. Now, the term national treasure is banded about a little too often for my tastes, but is there a better way to describe John Thaw? His gruff nature embodies Morse with an every-man quality that masks his vast intellect. Kevin Whately’s Lewis is perfect foil as his put upon Sergeant. Their relationship is central to the show’s success and longevity. The series ended in 2000, when Morse collapse and died of a heart attack, his legacy would live on however when in 2006, when Kevin Whatley’s Lewis would return.

Robbie Lewis is now a Detective Inspector, he is widowed and his kids are grown. Paired with a new DS, James Hathaway played by Lawrence Fox. Hathaway is a chain-smoking, emotionally detached intellectual. Lewis is Colombo like, in as much as his scruffy appearance and the fact that is not an Oxford man, means he is constantly under estimated by the high brow university community. While he relies of Hathaway’s classic education at times, he is more than a match for Oxfords criminal element. Lewis and Hathaway’s chemistry would rival but not quite eclipse that of Morse and Lewis, but was the driving force behind this shows success, it was baffling when after 7 series and a natural conclusion, they brought the show back for 2 more years, changing the dynamic of the leads and for the first time in nearly 30 years, the show began oustay its welcome.

The conclusion of Lewis was not the end for the franchise. In 2011, ITV turned back the clock with the prequel series Endeavour. Set in 1965, it focuses on Morse’s early years as a DC. Shaun Evans does a great job of honouring Thaw and giving us a believable young Morse and Roger Allam adds a touch of class as Morse’s noble DI, Fred Thursday.

James: Morse is a national treasure. It really is the gold standard that all detective shows are aiming for. The character work between Morse and Lewis was brilliant, and they knew when to inject some levity and humour into what was a serious drama. Decades before Sherlock, theses were basically films that were shown on ITV, and we got thirty three of them. Although Lewis is slightly in its predecessors shadow, it featured a nice change of dynamic with the two leads, and in a nice touch of symmetry, there were also thirty three episodes of Lewis.

I would echo Dave to say that Endeavour really does uphold the quality of the shows that came before it. There’s the same sheen of quality, and Shaun Evans portrays Morse’s traits without simply mimicking John Thaw.

Snooty Usher TV Trivia Fact #713 – Inspector Morse author Colin Dexter made a cameo in all but three of the Morse episodes.

Snooty Usher TV Trivia Fact #714 – In the pilot episode of Endeavour, Morse questions a newspaper editor. The editor asks if they have met, as he seems familiar to her. The editor is played by John Thaw’s daughter Abigail. She recurs throughout the series

Luther (BBC, 2010-16)

James: Neil Cross wrote for Spooks and Doctor Who before being Luther, and his writing deserves a lot of credit. He has created a conflicted detective haunted by his past, and set him in a harsh, yet real-feeling London. However, in this could be the set up for almost any detective show – Idris Elba makes Luther into a great piece of work. His performance really nails the complex character, making him sympathetic but still hard as nails. He will make a great next Bond… or Doctor Who!

The show also stands out by giving Luther a full-on nemesis. Ruth Wilson play Alice Morgan, a character who comes in and out of the show. Cross has always said Luther is inspired by Sherlock Holmes and Columbo, and by giving the detective his own Moriaty, Luther raises the bar again.

I truly hope that we get more episodes of Luther. The most recent series was only two episodes, and surely it would be possible to squeeze another couple into Elba’s (and Cross’) increasingly busy schedule. Perhaps just even a one-off to finally wrap up the series, although the end of the third series seemed to do that quite well – coat and all – before it was brought back. Maybe Netflx or Amazon Prime could throw enough money at it to get another go around.

Taggart (STV 1983-2010)

Dave: Now, I am a Scotsman who has lived in England for the better part of 10 years and this show has a lot to answer for. The amount of times I have been asked to utter the phrase “Thurs bin a murder”, well let’s just say it is more than once.

Set in the Maryhill area of Glasgow, Taggart was and remains the UK’s longest running TV police series. The show survived the death of its title character, when the great Mark McManus died in 1994.

Jim Taggart, was a gruff no nonsense Glaswegian, with little time for sensitivity. The show was just so brilliantly Glaswegian, the best part of watching this growing up was trying to spot the locations where it was filmed. The show declined in quality following McManus’s death, relying on the more gruesome elements to attract viewers, (I recall one episode where 6 people were murdered, too much!!). Those early years though gave us something so intrinsically Scottish that DCI Jim Taggart will forever be one of my all time favourite TV cops.

Heartbeat (ITV, 1992-2010)

James: Trips to Aidenfield were a staple of Sunday nights when I was growing up. It started out with Nick Berry was Nick Rowan, a London police officer who moves to North Yorkshire with his wife , Dr Kate Rowan (Niamh Cusack). The two of them have to deal with small town life, as well as some pretty hard hitting storylines. Bill Maynard’s turn as lovable rogue Greengrass provided the light relief, and the policing team of Ventress, Bradley, and Blakeston were always welcome.

Later series broadened the focus from a single lead character when Rowan transferred to the Mounties in Canada after Berry decided to leave. Jason Durr came in as Mike Bradley, and it became more of an ensemble show, with the storylines moving into the more usual Sunday night territory that. But those early shows left and indelible mark on this Snooty Usher.

Messiah (BBC, 2001-2008)

Dave: The first series of Messiah was one of those shows that just blew me away. It was dark, it was scary, it was gruesome. Ken Stott is DCI Red Metcalfe, he and his team are faced with series of brutal killings. As they delve deeper, they find that someone is killing people, mimicking how Jesus’s apostles died. Now, I am a sucker for serial killers with a religious motive and this is one of the finest examples of it.

Red and his team returned for 3 more series and new cast taking over in 2008 for a further 1 series, with Marc Warren taking over from Stott in the lead. While they were suitably gruesome, it never quite hit the heights of this ground breaking first case.

James: My sister and I used to buy cheap books from charity shops when we went on holiday. One of these books was about a series of gruesome murders that wove religious themes into plot. We talked about how it would make a great film or TV show – and when we got home we found out that it did! Ken Stott was just perfect as the detective trying to get to the bottom of these horrific crimes. He played the role like a man with the weight of the world on his shoulders, like he constantly had a splitting headache. The supporting characters were excellently cast as well.

A Touch of Frost (ITV, 1992-2010)

Dave: I love Del Boy Trotter as much as anyone, but for me at least, this is David Jason’s finest hour. The gruff, empathetic Detective Edward ‘Jack’ Frost. Based on the novels of R.D Wingfield, A Touch of Frost was a firm favourite in the McKee household. This is set in the fictional town of Denton, in the south midlands and while they are completely different, it is difficult not to compare Frost with ITV other long running Detective series Inspector Morse.

Frost never had an established DS like Lewis, working with a series of different sidekicks which really worked. The humour in the show came from Frost’s interactions with his boss Superintendent Norman “Horn Rimmed Harry” Mullett.

James: A Touch of Frost was great. David Jason knew just how much comedy business to put into his performance. I think everyone was surprised just how good he was in the more serious role, and I remember trying to find out if Denton FC was a real football team.

Prime Suspect (ITV, 1991-2006)

Dave: While I enjoyed the early episodes of Prime Suspect, I was never a massive fan of it, mainly down to the fact that I don’t really like writer Lynda La Plante’s work.

Having said that, the quality of this show and the performance of Helen Mirren demands attention. Ground breaking and harrowing at times, this gave us a really believable, flawed female lead. Tennison has been oft imitated and never, to date, bettered.

The Bill (ITV, 1984-2010)

Dave: And finally, no list of police shows would be complete without this long running series. Set in the fictional Sun Hill Police station, this gave us a load of memorable characters. Remember PC Reg Hollis? WPC June Ackland? DCI Frank Burnside? The list goes on. It lost something for me when it changed from the 30 minute episode format, but I still hold many fond memories of this show

James: I love shows that are truly episodic. Whether it is the monster of the week episodes of shows like Buffy or The X-Files, or the half an hour episodes of The Bill that were on every Tuesday and Thursday. The ongoing tales from Sun Hill lost something when it went to an hour long, but those early episodes will last a long time in my memory.

Until next time, thanks for reading. Stay gold Ponyboy, stay gold, and catch ya later on down the trail.

10 Of The Best British Cop Shows The British public loves a good police show. Here are some of the best!

#best tv shows #British cops #british police shows #British tv #police #police shows

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robertmcangusgroup · 8 years ago

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The Daily Tulip

The Daily Tulip – International News From Around The World

Thursday 30th March 2017

Good Morning Gentle Reader…. The weather is starting to warm up 12c was indicated as I left to walk with Bella, I didn’t even put a scarf around my neck this morning.. but the joy of this weather is that all the stars are visible, and the Milky Way looks like a thick twisted rope as it stretches across the heavens.. even without a telescope star clusters can be seen clearly, the seven sisters stand proud and Orion’s belt is displayed in all its glory… Mars is on display low on the horizon and Jupiter dominates the early morning sky shinning with all glory for all to see…….

COST OF US HOME OWNERSHIP REACHES TWO-YEAR HIGH…. Home sweet eye-poppingly expensive home. The S&P/Case-Shiller U.S. National Home Price Index reported a year-on-year increase of 5.9 percent in January, meaning that American housing costs were the highest they’ve been in 31 months. Prices in Seattle, Portland and Denver hit all-time highs. Analysts put the growth down to strong demand and tepid interest rates, but even the Federal Reserve’s recent rate rise isn’t predicted to slow growth much — though wage stagnation might, if it can’t keep up with inflation.

NZ QUAKE-DAMAGED WATER PIPES LEAK 1M LITRES A DAY…. Pipes in New Zealand's capital are leaking a million litres (220,000 gallons) of water a day as a result of the powerful November 2016 earthquake. The authorities in Wellington can't fix the problem yet because they don't know where the leaks are located, the Newstalk ZB reports. Utility company Wellington Water says that meters are going to be fitted in the city's Central Business District (CBD) in order to work out where the weaknesses lie, but that could still take months."Leak detection is tricky at the best of times, but in the CBD, where you have thick layers of concrete and constraints around working hours, it's even more so," Keith Woolley, chief advisor for Wellington Water, tells Stuff.co.nz. The epicentre of November's 7.8-magnitude quake was on the South Island, where two people were killed. It caused building damage in Wellington, on the North Island, and was followed by a series of strong aftershocks. Despite the scale of the current leaks, it's nothing compared to the immediate aftermath of the quake, when seven million litres were being lost each day. That was mainly because of broken pipes at Wellington's port.

HITLER PAINTING ON SHOW FOR FIRST TIME AT ITALY MUSEUM…. An oil painting by Adolf Hitler is to go on display for the first time at a museum in northern Italy. The small untitled work has been lent by a German private collector to the Museum of Salo, on the shores of Lake Garda, for an exhibition called the "Museum of Madness", Corriere della Sera reports. It shows two men, one at a table, with a dark corridor extending behind them. The exhibition's curator sees little artistic merit in the undated painting. "It's a piece of crap," says curator Vittorio Sgarbi. "It's a painting by a hopeless man, it could have been done by Kafka, it says a lot about his psyche: here you do not see greatness, you see misery." Hitler famously applied to the Vienna Academy of Fine Arts in the 1900s but was rejected twice. Despite being considered a mediocre artist, his work has fetched considerable sums at auction in recent years.Alongside Hitler's work will be pieces by world-renowned artists including Francisco Goya and Francis Bacon. The exhibition also has photographs, sculptures and multimedia installations, all exploring the theme of insanity through art history. The exhibition opens on Saturday and its setting is fitting, as Salo was the de facto capital of Benito Mussolini's Nazi-backed puppet state, the Republic of Salo, between 1943 and 1945.

FREE METRO RIDES FOR KIEV POETRY BUFFS…. Metro users in Ukraine's capital city are being allowed to ride free of charge at some stations if they can recite a poem by Taras Shevchenko, the country's national poet. Metro attendants will be waiting near ticket barriers to hear people's poetry offerings, and will then allow them through without a ticket, the Kiev Metro Facebook page says. Ordinarily a single journey costs four hryvnias ($0.15; 12p). The initiative, dubbed Shevchenko "happy hour", is to mark the 19th-Century poet's birthday on 9 March. The metro giveaway isn't particularly widespread, as it only applies during brief time slots at three stations - including one named after Shevchenko. And despite the "happy hour" name, the travel window is only 40 minutes at two of the stations. That's left some metro users feeling a bit miffed, even if many like the idea in principle. "Why not at all the stations, why time restrictions?" asks one Facebook user, although others respond that it would be difficult to implement, especially given the crowds at rush hour. "What a great idea. Too bad about the time limits!" another writes. Ukrainians learn Shevchenko's poems at school, and for some reciting one from memory would not be a struggle. But others aren't so sure - one person jokingly asks: "Read it by heart? Or can I read it from my mobile phone?"

GERMAN POLICE BRING MCDONALD'S MEALS TO CUSTODY CELLS…. Police in a German town are heading to McDonald's to collect fast food for people in their custody cells after a catering contract fell through. Those being held at the police station in Bergisch-Gladbach near Cologne can choose between a hamburger, cheeseburger or veggie burger from the fast food chain, which has an outlet across the road, the Express newspaper reports. There's also a "McToast" breakfast option for those waking up after a night in the cells. The more substantial burgers are off-limits, according to Express, as they're too pricey for the police budget. The force says it's an interim solution which became necessary when its normal supplier - which also served the local hospital - abruptly ended the contract. "When we take people into custody, we need to ensure a basic supply of food as a police force," says officer Richard Barz.They had to find somewhere that could serve up a snack at all hours and every day of the week. "The location and the round-the-clock availability made us decide in favour of McDonald's," he tells the Bergische Landeszeitung newspaper. Last year, 642 people spent time in the station's custody cells, and about 300 meals were served, the paper says. The regional interior ministry describes the burger service as a one-off "emergency" measure, and it's optimistic that a new agreement can be made with the hospital's food supplier.

PUBLIC FORCES RUSSIAN CITY TO KEEP ETERNAL FLAME LIT…. Officials in the Russian city of Omsk have backed down on plans to turn off the eternal flame at the local war memorial after a public outcry. A passerby noticed on Tuesday that the flame had gone out, and took to social media to ask whether it was an accident, repairs, or perhaps the gas had been cut off, the local NGS news site reports. The memorial was inaugurated less than two years ago to mark the 70th anniversary of the end of World War Two. It was financed by the Omsk veterans association, and the flame was lit with a torch flown directly from the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Moscow. According to the Komsomolskaya Pravda newspaper, the local authorities promised at the inaugural ceremony that the eternal flame would burn constantly. But in January the city economy department took over management of the flame from the war veterans group and decided they didn't have the 500,000 roubles ($8,600; £7,000) to keep it on all year round. On Tuesday, an official announced it would only be lit on 17 holidays honouring the military, which led to an outcry from the public, local Prodvizheniye TV channel reports. Veterans association leader Yevgeny Belov said he was "profoundly offended" by the decision, as honouring the memory of the war dead at the eternal flame was "sacred". The authorities backed down within hours, with Mayor Vyacheslav Dvorakovsky insisting that it was cut off only because of "technical problems. Despite the U-turn, Komsomolskaya Pravda says some local people are finding it hard to get over the decision "to cut back on the holiest of holies - our memory".

Well Gentle Reader I hope you enjoyed our look at the news from around the world this, Thursday morning…

Our Tulips today is to remind us that even alone Tulips are beautiful.....

A Sincere Thank You for your company and Thank You for your likes and comments I love them and always try to reply, so please keep them coming, it's always good fun, As is my custom, I will go and get myself another mug of "Colombian" Coffee and wish you a safe Thursday 30th March 2017 from my home on the southern coast of Spain, where the blue waters of the Alboran Sea washes the coast of Africa and Europe and the smell of the night blooming jasmine and Honeysuckle fills the air…and a crazy old guy and his dog Bella go out for a walk at 4:00 am…on the streets of Estepona…

All good stuff....But remember it’s a dangerous world we live in ….. Be safe out there…

Robert McAngus

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