#I uh.. I think I need a girlfriend. sorry for being gay on main. I mean I'm always gay on main but lmao
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myopicry · 2 months ago
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Helloooo long time no see!
Read the post you reblogged about men always thinking that they're always right and objective, and honestly I think it might be (partially) bc if they DIDN'T act or think this way, then they'd have to analyse their own thoughts and behaviour in relation to the patriarchal society (even the most mysoginistic man knows he lives in a patriarchy imo).
They'll have to put so many things about themselves into question as well as the system they're part of, and that's something which I believe is harder to do when you're in a position of privilege in said system. Sure, they might have no problem recognising their privilege in terms of "men are better than women har har har I am part of the superior sexe", but not in the "negative" way.
I feel like it could tie into the "not all men!!" thing which sometimes gets obnoxious these days. There's a defensiveness and wanting to not go TOO in depth in analysis because of what that'll inevitably lead to. There's a need to retain positive thoughts about this particular aspect of society because of the part they play in that aspect.
I'd probably have more things to say but I just woke up lol. (keep in mind I have not proof read this so apologies in advance) Hope to hear from you soon!
~🪼
lolol ironically I am answering this as I just woke up time zones are funny
the thing is I kind of get it, why men are so reluctant to think about this kind of stuff. it is a bit challenging on anyone to upend their entire comfortable worldview for something more truthful because it does come with having to confront all the ways you've been wrong and have wronged in the past (literally my experience of peaking and desisting lmao) so, to me it definitely makes sense that the last thing men want to do is truly confront their privileges and their place in the world in relation to women, because they're probably going to find themselves on reflection quite guilty for many, many transgressions and things that probably conflict with their moral character and self-view. that being said, imo it's more than a bit cowardly that men won't ever really take this step to truly reflect.
it's not even misogynistic men either, I've talked in depth with a few self-proclaimed progressive men (back when I thought I still needed to actually talk to men lmao) and even if they were "feminists" or were trying to be a different, more respectful of women, person, they would never really interrogate their own treatment of other people, ESPECIALLY women* and make a meaningful effort to change that would require them to put themselves in a vulnerable or lower position than they felt used to. I've seen women reflect and change so much, I think when you're born and raised in a world that tells you all your perceived flaws and works to put you down into a handful of easily digestible roles there's not as insurmountable of a mental hurdle to overcome. still not an excuse for men! if anything, if they're supposed to be so much smarter and reasonable, I'd think they'd jump at the opportunity to become enlightened or whatever.
*god I wish I could do spoiler text on tumblr uhh just look away from this page break dear readers if you don't want some personal blog moments about how men are shitty. nothing explicit just general implied yuck and discussion of sexual harassment.
wow I have no idea why I'm so willing to lay my boring shitty backstory all out on tumblr but here it is!
but essentially of the two men (self-described as progressive or feminist) I knew pretty well, like talking about childhood trauma and personal deep topics, both at some point ended up pushing my boundaries and contributing to I guess the worst mental states I've been in as a young adult. the first time I was too much of a clueless teenager driven by zero self esteem, very untreated anxiety, terrible self deprecation skills, and also zero social awareness coming off of the pandemic, so I ended up in a relationship I didn't really enjoy at all because I wasn't attracted to him romantically or sexually but stayed in out of aforementioned self-loathing and the "obligation" of it all to fit in with my straight girl friends (did not help that I recently realized I had a crush on one of them and really wanted to push down that feeling) and the cultural norms I saw around me and my family. the second time I was lost in the gender juice, dissociated from my body to the max, and IDed as aroace lmao but was also very lonely (and once again was developing feelings for a straight girl holy shit I'm writing this and maybe I should stop knowing so many straight girls lmao) but luckily I was older and cut that shit out (not fast enough to not have experiences and time to regret and have boundaries violated ugh) anyway this guy told me his sad backstory about being a sexually harassing little shit in middle school but also had a really bad home life and high school experience and even after I kept giving him (not to brag) amazing advice to get his shit together and see women as people, he kept avoiding actually doing the work. In hindsight, I think the only reason he even listened to me talk and told me all this was because he believes in the "queer identity culture" stuff (bisexual + he/they lmao) and since I didn't label myself as a woman + was attempting to pass he must have "not considered me a woman" enough to immediately write off. yet he still assumed he could push my boundaries unlike how he would treat other men. curious.
anyway, tldr!! yeah men are shit and even progressive men are their own kind of self-blinded shit. they're fine as acquaintances, even some could be okay as friends, but I guess I've learned to not expect much out of them. maybe this is cynical, but it becomes much easier when you look for their value first, before leading with the natural empathy to befriend on an equal level. always keep the upper hand. this might not make a lot of sense I should write a separate post about it hmmm anyway
anon thank you for visiting again!! I'm sorry for the wall of text followed by the wall of text but I assume you keep coming back because you actually enjoy walls of text, so I hope you get something out of this set of walls of text!! and more walls of text to come! I've been in a very "sorting through the archives of my life and coming to terms with everything leading up to now" and it's been great for a lot of self-reflecting writing ideas. unlike men, I hope after truly confronting the events of my life and breaking it down, I will change and be aware of my (many, many) faults and become a much better person for it.
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masochistartt · 1 month ago
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https://www.tumblr.com/masochistartt/764994876781756416/gonna-start-fights-tonight-all-ill-say-is-that?source=share
Would REALLY love to know specifics about what you are talking about here. I am primed to agree, I want the tea though
the main thing that my brain's been looping on tonight is that the prem is like. Not a pleasant work environment. it's not now and it especially wasn't when roy was Big. i get that we as a fandom watch a show that's meant to be relatively lighthearted but like. the easiest way to put this (i'm sleep deprived and this is gonna be rambly im sorry) is that the homophobic slur from 3x09 is pretty much the baseline of what it's like to go to a prem game. if you go on twitter after matches you'll see people reporting what they heard, and then you'll see other people replying to them calling them soft (or other slurs)
what i'm saying is the fanbase is more james tartt and less ted lasso ygm
and then roy especially but probably some of the other boys too aren't gonna be all. politically correct/know different queer labels/label themselves past gay/straight. these guys grew up (all of them) in the academy system where they were surrounded by this extremely toxic heteronormative masculinity from very young ages (yes i repeat every single one of them you kind of have to go through the academy system to get to the level where you're playing prem football)
i also think roy especially probably has outdated views about disability - i don't think he would ever want to be seen as "weak" (i have chronic pain i don't believe having chronic pain is weak but i do think it's the way roy would view it – we see him doing everything in his power to avoid being seen in pain publicly in rainbow - he's doubled over in pain in the tunnel, but he straightens his spine and steels himself so that that crowd (and the ones watching on tv) won't see him physically hurting)
also completely an aside but i saw that poll that was like "the boys having girlfriends came out of nowhere" no it did not lmao a majority (idk stats but i know from like. observation) of these guys have long term girlfriends, maybe wives, maybe kids. i'm surprised we don't see more players interacting with their kids in the show tbh, but there's only a certain amount of time for them to show that. it's genuinely a surprise to me that there were that many single guys to do the bantr ad in s3 with keeley and shandy bc in my mind almost every single one of them is in a long term relationship probably with kids
i think it could be fun to write out roy learning to be softer with himself and others, but in my brain (again this is all headcanon you don't have to agree with me), roy's probably said slurs on camera before, jamie probably wouldn't know the word bisexual (and if he did - entirely possible that keeley taught him - i don't think he'd label himself as such), most of the boys have wags/kids, and there aren't any out gay players in the prem (which makes colin's strength to come out to the team and the trust he has in trent significantly more weighted, imo)
this is all rambling but uh. if you need me to unpack anything more i can lmao
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mizunetzu · 4 years ago
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Heyo!! Can I request a Kuroo x male reader, where yn goes to give him a love letter one day, but he sees him with his new girlfriend??? And he’s like-sad and he tears up the note and he moves on??? But then one day kuroo asks to talk to him, and he confesses to reader, but since reader already moved on he doesn’t accept??? Angsty ending if you will 💔💔💔 thank you, Mr. Mizunetzu !!
Hi paola ily paola hee hee
——————
Kuroo x reader - you did once...
⚠️Warnings - Kuroo gets a gf, angst, not so much of a good ending?
Pronouns- male, he/him
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You can find part two here!
——————
“(Y/n), can I talk to you real quick?”
(Y/n) looked up from adjusting his loose kneepad, and wiped a bead of sweat rolling off his face. He turned his head to his teammates still on their diving punishment, and looked back at Kuroo. They just lost to another school again, but he got his punishment done rather early. “Mm? Okay..?”
He rose to his feet, following Kuroo out the gym door. The walk to a secluded place far, far away from the main gym was silent and awkward, not to mention suspicious. If Kuroo wasn’t one of his good friends, he would’ve thought he was about to be kidnapped. Or murdered.
Eventually, they stopped where the fenced pathway met the grass. Kuroo stopped ominously, further proving (Y/n’s) ‘serial killer’ theory. He turned around, facing (Y/n), and leaned on the railing.
(Y/n) stiffly held his hands behind his back. “So...” he rocked on his heels, trying to seem as casual as possible. “...what did you...need...?”
He was met with no response. Kuroo, instead, gripped the railing tighter, his knuckles turning a pale white. His eyes were downcast and he was sweating like crazy. He looked like he’d seen a ghost.
(Y/n) stepped forward and crouched down, so he could see Kuroos face behind the mop that was his hair. He rested his palms on his knees, trying to decide what to say.
“...I...think your hair looks nice...today...”
If it’s one thing he hates, it’s awkward silence. Not to mention the suspense of waiting on someone to say someone possibly life changing. I mean, why else should he drag him out miles away from the gym during training camp?
“Uh-If we don’t hurry up, we’re gonna miss our next match-“
“I need to get something off my chest.”
(Y/n’s) throat closed up. It was simple. The secluded area, Kuroo flushed face, fiddling and chipping the rust off the railing. He didn’t know how he didn’t see it before. He’s been in this situation plenty of times, with girls he can’t even remember the face of. But oh how much he’d love to be in this situation a few months ago.
————
‘Just do it. just do it. God, just do it. Worse comes to worse, he’s straight. It’s not like he’s the type of person to de-friend someone because they like them!’
(Y/n) gripped the white envelope behind his back harshly, crinkling it on the corners. It had a red, heart shaped sticker on the seal flap, with the words ‘To Tetsu’ written in dark pink across the back.
Both Karasuno and Nekoma were bidding their new friends goodbye, all scattered across the parking lot of Karasuno. (Y/n) paced around awkwardly, looking for Kuroo’s familiar mop of black, messy hair. He was nervous, to say the least. Very nervous.
“Ne, Kenma,” (Y/n) placed a sweaty palm on Kenmas handheld game, pushing it down lightly and forcing him to look up.
“Mm.”
“Have...have you seen Tetsurou? I need to give him something.”
Kenma hummed in acknowledgment, and nudged his head to the side. Sure enough, Kuroo was there, off in the distance and talking to someone he couldn’t make out. His back was facing towards them, and his hand was on his hip. (Y/n’s) heart pounded even more.
“Th..an..k...y-you...” (Y/n) gave a lopsided, very stressed out smile, and limped his way over to Kuroo. Kenmas eyes were drawn to the extremely obvious love-letter being wrinkled by (Y/n’s) sweaty hands. He pursed his lips.
He then looked up to the petite girl chatting with Kuroo. It wasn’t visible in (Y/n’s) line of sight, but it was to Kenma. He almost felt kind of bad.
(Y/n) stopped dead behind Kuroo, his eyes fixated on the ground as he ran through his memorized confession for the millionth time that day. He tapped on his shoulder, keeping the letter flush against his back with his other hand.
Kuroo turned around, and that was when his eyes landed on the brown-haired girl wearing an obviously oversized Nekoma jacket. From context of the scene, (Y/n) supposed it was Kuroo’s. He gripped the letter tighter.
The girl walked forward and extended her hand out. Her bubbly aura practically suffocated (Y/n). “Hi! You must be ‘(Y/n)’. Tetsu was just talking about you! You two are like—buddy buddies right?”
‘Tetsu.’ That was (Y/n’s) nickname for him. Only he got to call him ‘Tetsu’...and who gave her the right to call him by his first name?
(Y/n) glanced at Kuroo. Kuroo shoved his hands into his pocket and grinned. It wasn’t his usual shit-eater smirk, rather a genuine, lovesick dopey smile. A smile (Y/n’s) never seen before, not directed at him at least. It was a sight he wanted to burn into his mind, but at the same time, he wanted to slap that smile right off his face.
“(Y/n), this is Yumi-chan. She’s our new manager.”
Kuroo stepped behind Yumimite, and draped his arms around her dainty shoulders.
“She’s also my new girlfriend~”
“Oh-hush it, you!” Yumimite turned around and berated Kuroo with small punches, earning a playful chuckled from the Kuroo. (Y/n’s) grip on the wrinkled letter loosened.
“...ahaha! Congrats..! When...when did you two get together?” If (Y/n) was good at anything, he was good at pretending to be interested in something. Maybe he should’ve joined the drama club instead of the volleyball club.
“Mm. We got together just last week. She gave me a love letter.” Kuroo patted the girl on her head, ruffling her neat brown hair and making her blush red. It looked like it felt nice. He wondered how it would feel to have Kuroo’s undivided attention, to be pat on the head like a blushing schoolgirl. To be a small, pretty girl next to Kuroo, to have the ability to call him ‘his’. All his nervousness simmered away, replaced by a strange ache of numb.
“Well, that’s awesome dude! Honestly, I don’t know how you managed to snag a girlfriend before me...” (Y/n) slouched dramatically, quickly hooking the letter in the waistband of his volleyball shorts and tugging his shirt over it. “Especially such a cutie like her! I’m (L/n), by the way...”
Kuroo chuckled, slinging an arm around Yumimite. “Don’t go flirting with my girl now. You have plenty of girls practically throwing their panties at you.”
‘Yeah...but I’m gay, Tetsurou. For you no doubt! I-I love you-!’
(Y/n) almost wanted to yell that out. And he almost did. But he chose instead to keep silent and laugh in response.
(Y/n) bowed slightly. “Anyway, it was nice meeting you. I just wanted to say hi to Tets-uh, Kuroo...”
Kuroo tilted his head at the use of his last name, but brushed it off when Yumi hooked her arm in his. The couple bid their goodbyes, as they turned around and walked off. (Y/n) followed suite, turning around robotically and marching off.
Once he was a good enough distance away, he stopped behind a trash can and fished the letter out from his sweaty back.
He watched as the big pink words ‘To Tetsu’ bled and distort with every falling teardrop rolling down his cheeks. The water expanded and smudged the ink lighter and lighter until the words were practically indecipherable. You couldn’t tell it was a love letter anymore. Especially because (Y/n) ripped and trashed it up til it was a pile of pink and white paper shreds.
He tossed the stray flakes of soggy paper into the trash bin, watching as it fluttered and twirled tauntingly down the trash can. He quietly scrubbed at his red hot face, probably soaking his shirt with his salty tears. He rested his hands on the edges of the bin.
“Okay...” (Y/n) stretched up, spitting onto the concrete. “I...wonder...if my favorite ramen place is open...”
Strangely he didn’t feel devastated, or heartbroken at all. He just felt sort of numb. He didn’t feel the need to blast heartbreak music and cry out on his bed for hours on end. In fact, he was glad. Albeit a bit raw, and maybe a bit tired, but glad.
He got closure for the confusing feelings bubbling down his throat ever since he’d met Kuroo Tetsurou. He got his answer, and even if it wasn’t the preferred one, it was something.
The recovery process was easier than most people would think. It only took a couple long days to get him back to his prime condition. It was a given, since (Y/n) had so much other things to be worrying about. Midterms, volleyball practice, his friends. It’s a given that he would move on the things that was no longer on his priority list.
And Kuroo Tetsurou was no exception.
——
It was kind of pathetic to see such a high strung man like Kuroo so shaky and nervous. Though, he felt the same way three months ago, spending the whole golden week perfecting a letter he never got to read. What a hypocrite he was.
(Y/n) cleared his throat. “So...what did you wanna say?”
“I-just,” Kuroo swallowed thickly. “Ah-I...give me a second...”
“Okay, take you time, Kuroo~” he stood back up to his full height, and leaned on the rail across from him. It was obvious they weren’t gonna get anywhere. “So...hows ‘Yumi-chan’ doing?”
“Ah. We broke up. She’s gay. She has a girlfriend now.”
“Aw, I’m sorry. Though, good for her for snagging a girlfriend. No offense.” Kuroo mumbled out a ‘none taken.’ (Y/n) continued.
“Was that what you wanted to talk about? Her breaking up with you?”
“No! Actually, I broke up with her first. And it was...it was kinda mutual.” Kuroo sharply inhaled. “But it does have something to do with what I need to tell you.”
How could he be more obvious. (Y/n) forced a smile. It felt mandatory now. “Really? That’s interesting. Do tell.”
‘Please...Please don’t say it.’
“I broke up with her...because I had these...feelings.”
‘Please don’t say it. I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to see it. I don’t want to read it. I don’t want to know it.’
“And you know how she’s gay? Well, I think I am too.”
‘No shit Sherlock. I don’t wanna hear it. You’ve been fiddling around with your hands like a schoolgirl. Stop it, so we can just be friends like we used to be. Don’t make it awkward. Don’t make me hear it. Please.’
“And...well...”
‘Don’t make me look at your crestfallen face when I say no. It’s too much for even me to handle. I don’t want to see that.’
(Y/n) knitted his eyes shut. A fierce shudder threatened to rattle him and cover Kuroo’s mouth, but he kept still, as difficult as it was. He braced for impact.
“I think I’m in love with you.”
There it was.
(Y/n) pursed his lips and let his smile finally drop. Kuroo looked up from his trained gaze on the ground, only to be met with (Y/n’s) pitiful expression. (Y/n) never saw his face go from hopeful and love struck to devastated and heartbroken so fast.
(Y/n) cleared his throat. He was going to lay him down gently if it was the last thing he did. “...uh.”
He never said it’d be easy, though.
“If it makes you feel better...I did like you once, Tetsurou.” He only used his full first name during important situations, as he switched to using his last name instead of his first a long time ago. A lump grew in Kuroo’s throat.
Kuroo jabbed at his chest exasperatedly. “T-then what’s the problem?! We both-“
“The problem is I don’t love you. Not anymore.” Kuroo fell silent. He was so prepared to do anything it took to win over (Y/n), but after standing in front of him now, it was clear. Watching as he looked down at him with a pitying expression that made his brain go numb. He would get no where if he tried.
“...a-anymore? You liked me before? When!? Why didn’t I know?!” Kuroo grasped fistfuls of his black hair, a cold sweat condensing on his forehead. He was so animatedly desperate it was kind of sad.
“Not too long ago. Though, you kept me waiting since forever. And I thought I could wait forever.” A sorry chuckle emitted from (Y/n’s) lips. “I watched you go though girlfriend after girlfriend, Tetsurou. You even introduced me to Yumimite when I was going to confess to you. How do you think that felt? Even I got tired of waiting.”
“You...you were...” Kuroo had never felt so helpless. (Y/n) shrugged.
“I would give you the love letter I wrote for you that day, but it’s in a trash can somewhere. Ripped to shreds. And I don’t remember the words I wrote. I’m sorry, Tetsurou.” (Y/n) sighed and patted Kuroo on the head.
“You missed your chance...”
Kuroo’s eyes stung, threatening to unleash hell, but he promised himself he wouldn’t cry. No matter what. Instead, he rubbed the back of his neck and stood back up.
“I never stood a chance, did i?” Kuroo chuckled. It was a sad chuckle, one that made (Y/n) want to cry aswell.
“That’s the sad part.” (Y/n) pressed his lips into a fine line, turning it into a smile conotated with pity.
“You did once.”
——————
Go sit there and stare at the wall in silence as you feel bad for Kuroo getting rejected by you. Go on, stare. Maybe then I’ll consider a part 2 (and if people comment or reblog asking for a part 2, hee hee.)
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argylemikewheeler · 3 years ago
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July 1st, 1985
what the first ep of (my) s3 would look like if the main concept was: both Steve and Will are gay in 1985’s Summer of Love and the town’s enemy is a little more human; loving friendships, very confused adults, and Will Byers Actually Getting Help
“Harrington!”
“Yes, sir.” Steve looked up from his desk. He dropped his crossword and looked to be at attention; the police station’s phone wasn’t ringing, though, so there wasn’t really anything he should have been doing. Hopper stepped out of his office, angling himself toward the door rather than Steve’s desk island.
“Do you think you’ll be able to-- Harrington, what are you doing?” Hopper caught sight of the pocket thesaurus sitting on his desk (the last name written on the inside cover not belonging to Steve, of course). Hopper fixed his sunglasses on the edge of his nose, looking over them and down at Steve.
“I’m just, uh, working on my vocabulary.” Steve said. Hopper blinked twice, waiting. Steve wasn’t going to say the truth: he was dating-- well seeing someone-- way smarter than him. This wasn’t for joy or boredom. He was studying to impress. “It’s college prep, sir.”
“The crossword?” The chief evened his stare. “This your old man’s suggestion?” Of all the things Steve’s father was telling him to do with himself, he  wished  some of it was simply pecking at a crossword over a twelve hour shift.  Fucking off  and  being a better piece of shit son  just wasn’t feasible to accomplish in one summer.
“He swears by it.”
“Okay, well. Uh, moving on from that,” Hopper grabbed his hat from the coat rack. The topic of Steve’s father always made Hopper stiffen up; it was definitely the main reason Hopper gave Steve his job at the station, but it still created more questions. Steve knew Hopper and his father went to high school together, but he never asked his father about those years-- beyond his baseball glory stories. “I’ve got plans tonight and I need to head out early. Can you handle things on your own for a while. At least until the night shift comes in?”
“I’ll be fine.” Steve made sure not to acknowledge the crossword on his desk as he nodded. He was really good at his job, he was. He was also just, unfortunately, still a pretty shitty boyfriend and needed all the vocab help he could get. “What’s the pressing story?”
“I have dinner.” Hopper was already trying to walk out the door. “So  don’t  call me. For the love of God.”
“Oh, don’t worry, Chief. I--” Steve was sure it was the cool July wind that slammed the door on the last half of his sentence. Not Hopper. “won’t... Have a good time, I guess.”
The police station was empty: it was another boring and wonderfully quiet Monday in Hawkins. There’d been some calls to break up disturbances at city hall in the past few days, but somehow everyone just seemed to agree that Mondays-- the longest shift of Steve's whole week-- was the day everyone went about their quietest day.
There were a few officers milling in and out of the back lounge and front door, casting a quick glance to Steve as he muttered and threatened fourteen down and six across. Nancy had been helping close the gaps of his post-high school education-- without knowing just what for-- but had been picking up most hours at the Post to try and elbow her way into their good graces; it put his tutoring on hold. So here he was, groaning at some clues about classical artists he’d never heard of.
There were other reasons Steve was sure the other officers thought he was odd-- things he was  sure  his father had passed along in spitting rants-- but Steve didn’t mind. No one said anything to his face.
“Hey Flo! Is, uh, is Steve here?” The question was asked with the answer already in mind.
Steve sat up in his chair, twisting around to see down the hall to the back entrance to the station. There weren’t many parking spots to fill, but he knew a certain someone who preferred it to street parking.
“Jonathan?”
“Oh, I hear him. Thanks-- hey!” Jonathan hurried out from the hall, his camera bumping against his stomach and bag slapping against his leg in the same rhythm. He’d gotten a new haircut recently: semi-wonky bangs and a closer cut in the back. All thanks to Steve’s peer pressure and Mrs. Byers’s kitchen shears.
“What are you doing here?”
“Sorry to stop by your work like this--” he lowered his voice as he stopped at the corner of Steve’s desk. “I know we said we wouldn’t do that, but we got an extra muffin in the lunch order and I know you’re always starving after a Monday shift so.” Jonathan produced a folded brown paper bag from his satchel. “Here.”
“Oh, thanks.” Steve wanted to say so much more, but had to settle. No more. None of what they’d decided they wouldn’t say. Not until the summer had ended. They wanted to see if they lasted longer than the convenience of loose summer schedules.
“Won’t I see you, uh, later, though?” At eight, when Steve got sent home he always drove straight to Jonathan’s. Jonathan started late on Tuesdays and Steve had off; they had the time to waste. “Or is this your way of telling me to stay home?”
“No! No we’re still... hanging out.” Jonathan had gotten really good at cooking and treated Steve to weekly dinner. It was a nice gesture at first, but Steve started growing fond of the company. They both did around mid-June. “But, I think Mike’s going to be over so. Be  cool , alright? Keep it cool.”
“Cool, got it.” Steve leaned back in his chair. He moved his papers to leave a corner of his desk for Jonathan to sit on. No one was in the main office; it was a harmless invitation.
“I have to get going...” It sounded like an excuse, a dive for safety. “And I’m sure you have, um,  puzzles  to do?” Jonathan pretended not to be endeared. He tried, he really did. He  failed , but Steve pretended he didn’t notice.
“Don’t want to sit and help me figure out the title of Mozart’s last opera?” He patted the desk, daring to be more direct.
“I really have to go.” Jonathan was genuine, looking at his watch. “The Post only let me out early today because I have to go pick up Will from his doctor’s appointment.”
“Wait.” Steve put the cap back on his pen. “Isn’t Will’s therapy on Wednesday?”
“Yeah, but with Mom’s schedule and the store being all weird-- we had to move it to today. And you know we typically have a family night after-- so he feels okay, you know-- but we  can’t  . So,  that’s why Mike’s coming over. Hopefully they’ll be idiots and tire Will out and he’ll sleep okay.” Tension rose in Jonathan’s voice quickly, explaining his day as if going over a laundry list; never rehearsing it but having it memorized.
“I can stay home if you need time, Jonathan.”
“No, really. I want you to come over.” Jonathan sighed and placed his hand on the emptied spot on Steve’s desk. “Besides, you can’t break tradition after a little over  one month , then it was just a weird habit.”
Steve Harrington did not consider his summer fling a w  eird habit . If anything, it was the most sensical thing he’d done in a very long time. Even after getting rejected from all his colleges, and never hearing the end of his father’s lectures, 1985 had been very kind to him. And that was mostly due to Jonathan’s inherent nature to be the same.
“I’ll see you after eight.” Steve smiled and reached for his hand-- but averted to grab a piece of memo paper by the phone.
“I’m sorry to leave in a rush.” Jonathan hitched his bag up, checking his watch again. “I just, I really need to get going.”
“Don’t worry. The muffin is  more  than enough.” Steve said. “And seeing you wasn’t too bad either.”
“Slow day, huh?” Jonathan said. The corner of his mouth quirked with a flattered, embarrassed smile. Steve tried to act nonchalant, like he wasn’t so goddamn relieved to see a familiar and happy face. Especially  his  familiar and happy face. “Well, good thing I have another surprise for you.”
“You can barely fit your camera in that bag, what could you possibly-- hey!” Steve missed grabbing Jonathan’s arm as he walked away, heading for the front door. “Where are you going?” Jonathan kept walking, checking his watch the whole way. “Hello?”
“Delivered right on time.” Jonathan pushed the front door open to the station-- but was nearly knocked over as a green  dash  barreled through it.
"Steve! Steve! Steve!” The dash was suddenly grabbing him by the shoulders. “You got the job!”
“Henderson! Oh my god! You’re back!” In an unlikely impulse, Steve grabbed Dustin in a hug, taking advantage of the change of height. “Holy shit, I nearly forgot! First of the month!”
“See you, Steve.” Jonathan walked across the room to the back entrance again. His hand braced the back of Steve’s chair, brushing across his shoulders.
“O-Okay! Yeah, see you!” Steve sputtered, losing his reminded  cool  in an instant. “Bye.”
Dustin pulled away slowly. “What was that?” It looked like  everyone  was too smart for Steve.
“Nothing. He brought me a surprise lunch-- which was an  obvious decoy to the main event! You! How are you, buddy? How was camp?”
“Oh, it was fantastic. Steve, I  have  to show you all my inventions! Camp was the  best  four weeks  of  my  life .” Dustin hopped up onto the corner of his desk. His heels tapped against the empty metal drawers. He was jittery, nearly uncontainable, but still so composed-- if only to be focused all on Steve.
Steve held his hands out, letting him start. “Lay it on me, Henderson! I want to hear everything. I missed you like crazy.”
“Well, first, obviously. I have to tell you about my girlfriend--”
“Whoa! Whoa!  Girlfriend  ? That fast?” Steve hadn’t been expecting any of his dating advice to work. It had been coming from such a poor and confused part of himself, Steve figured it was destined to fail. Apparently, it was just  Steve  that was-- when flirting with women at least. “Damn, there’s something in you after all!”
“She’s  super  smart, Steve. I’ve never met any girl like her. She’s a genius and she’s so pretty. God, I miss her already-- and I  just  saw her.”
Steve looked over his shoulder. He knew the feeling. “That’s great, man. I mean, I’m super happy for you. Like, that’s  crazy . That’s freaking awesome.”
“So what about you? How are the ladies? I mean, you work for the  Chief  now. All the ladies you could need and more, am I right?”
Steve used to be really good at this part of the lie, but with Dustin it felt cheap. He didn’t need to lie to him, but that was the deal; no matter how much that person was Steve’s best and most beloved friend, their secret was a dead-bolt, vaulted secret.
“Eh, not too great. Only girl my own age I see-- besides Nancy, really-- is the night-shift girl, Robin. But she’s not really-- we’re just friends. She’s alright. Leaves me weird drawings in the memo pad.”
“Ooo, she sounds cool.” Dustin raised his eyebrows. “Do you know her from school?”
“Yeah, we didn’t really run in the same crowds but-- it’s not like that, man. It’s really not.” Steve started unwrapping his lunch. “It’s so not like that with Robin.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means I’m not...  looking  at the moment.”
Steve had originally decided to not go looking for trouble. After he and Nancy split in the beginning of his senior year, he didn’t start looking for an immediate replacement. The illusion of thinking he was in love with Nancy-- capable of being in love with Nancy-- was a hard thing to have come crumbling down. Steve needed time to get his own bearings, to put his feet firmly on the ground, and have them lifted off when his father grabbed him by the lapels and--
Steve hadn’t gone looking for trouble. Hadn’t gone looking for love either. But somehow, both seemed to find him.
Jonathan was late. He usually wasn’t but Will was trying not to be worried. It was a different day than usual and he knew how awful Jonathan’s boss and co-workers were. Will tried not to be worried-- he wasn't. It was just that he had spent an hour talking about the night his father left their family; standing outside the doctor’s office was a bit nerve-wracking. It felt too familiar, even with all the talking and note-scribbling.
Finally, Jonathan’s car pulled into the lot. He was speeding, as much as his car  could  speed: he knew he was late, which made Will feel a little bit better. No one had forgotten him. It was just traffic or his bosses or maybe just hitting all the red lights. As Jonathan stopped in front of the curb and waved Will in, Will could see he was jittery-- he was  upset  that he was late. Will felt bad for counting the minutes.
Not that he did it out of impatience or anything. Will just formed the habit after getting his new watch. It matched Mike’s. Completely on accident, of course.
“Hey, buddy! Sorry I’m late. I was-- I had to run an errand really fast. How long were you waiting.” He moved his bag and threw it onto the backseat. Will would’ve held it on his lap.
“I wasn’t keeping track.” Will said, climbing into the passenger seat. Will wanted to ask if his bag had Jonathan’s camera in it. If everything was okay. He didn’t. It seemed like Jonathan had been in his therapy with Will, just as shaken up. “It’s okay. Thanks for getting me.”
Jonathan waited until Will put on his seat belt. “Of course. We’re always here to pick you up. Therapy is important; you have to go.”
Will laughed before he could stop himself. “You sound like Mom.”  Why?
“Because she’s right.” Therapy was still kind of weird to Will-- since  no one else  in his grade had to do it-- but he humored his family. It was helping, if he had to admit it. But it was still embarrassing sometimes.
His therapist, Dr. Bright--  Rose Marie, as she insisted on being called-- was a send-out from the Lab, but disguised within a private practice just outside of town. She was able to listen to Will talk about what he saw and felt during his time with the Mind Flayer without trying to commit him. Almost nothing was off limits. Almost nothing.
Will checked his watch again.
“Are you excited to see Mike tonight?” The question was pointed, but Will wasn’t sure why it made him nervous. “I mean, I feel like I haven’t seen him in a bit.”
“Oh, yeah. He’s always with El.”
Will was sure they  weren’t  dating. El was just on a year-long stint of self-discovery and, besides Max, Mike was the person she trusted the most to help make as many helpful mistakes as possible. He bought her books to read and new music to try. It was really sweet, seeing Mike take such big strides toward helping their friend. But there was also a part of Will that felt dejected:  his  sort of help had to be prescribed and couldn’t be replaced with a warm laugh from one Mike Wheeler.
Will was sick while his friends were growing.
“Is there something wrong?” Jonathan used to ask the question like Will was one trembling lip away from crying-- but this time, he asked it like Will had his hand on the door, seconds from jumping out. “Will, are you okay?”
“Yeah.” Will nodded. “I’m fine. Just-- I talked a lot today and I’m tired.”
“Do you want to cancel with Mike--”
“No.” Will had been looking forward to having time with Mike--  just  Mike-- for a whole week. He wanted to sit on his floor with his best friend and be a kid again. Just for the night-- maybe draw some of Mike’s old campaigns or sketch out an idea for his own. He just wanted to remember something good about the past four years. After his hour with Dr. Bright, it all felt painful. Like his childhood naivety had been broken and every conversation he overheard in his house dripped with venom and disdain.
Will didn’t like picturing his house that way. It was a place that loved and raised him, a place he felt safe. He didn’t like thinking the conversations he heard being screamed through the walls were trapped in the drywall.
His arms felt heavy and his chest felt like it was made of metal-- he kept tasting it in his mouth. Will leaned back against the seat and reached for the radio. Jonathan turned it down before Will had even changed the station.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I just want to see Mike.” Will said, his mouth too honest and his mind shrouded in guilt. “I just want to see my friend.”
“Okay. Okay.” Jonathan nodded somewhat somberly. “I understand. Let’s go pick him up. He’s at his house right? Not El’s-- o-or The Sinclair’s or anything?”
“No. He’s at his.” Will crossed his arms and tried to find the loose string-- the thing that could uncoil Jonathan’s still-tightening anxiety. “Are you still dating Nancy?”
Jonathan turned to look at Will, nearly crashing the car. That was the wrong string. “What?”
“Nancy? Are you still dating her?”
“I was never dating Nancy.” Jonathan laughed, shaking his head. “I’m not dating Mike’s sister, don’t worry.” The clarification was strange and felt off-topic. Like Jonathan was trying to talk about something else.
“I thought you were. You guys hung out a lot during school.” Will heard her voice through the walls too. Always gentle, never yelling. Except when she was losing at playing cards. Then she shouted.
“She was helping me pass chemistry. That’s all.” Jonathan turned the radio up a little. Will checked his watch. “And then she helped me apply to the Post internship-- she’s great at writing papers, did you know that? A real wordsmith. Is Mike a writer too?”
He was, he  really  was. Grammatically, Will ran out of red pens trying to help, but creatively? Will envied Mike’s ability. “I don’t know. We don’t really talk about that kind of stuff like you two do… Since you two are dating.”
“We’re  not .” Jonathan laughed. Will took advantage of an upcoming stop sign to lean forward and look at his brother’s crimson face. “We’re not, Will, okay? We’re really not. I’d tell you.”
“You’d tell me?”
“Of course! I’d tell you if I… I had a girlfriend. Which I don’t!” He stayed at the stop sign for a bit too long. “Do you?”
There was an option to play dumb, to make Jonathan ask more directly:  do you have a girlfriend, Will ? but it sounded far more painful than being honest, than being as lonely as he was.
“No. I don’t.”
“And you’d tell me. If you were dating someone?” Jonathan looked at Will, hopeful but scarcely so. “You’ll tell me if anything big happens in your life?”
“Yeah.” There wouldn’t be anything happening at all that summer, that was for  damn sure . “Absolutely.”
Steve had about seventy percent of his puzzle done-- fifty of which was because Dustin was an unstoppable genius with no tolerance for Steve’s careful pace. It was just about quarter past seven, and Steve’s back was getting sore from sitting in his chair all day. He only liked sitting when it was in his car, on his way to the Byers's House, careful, of course, to obey all traffic laws.
Steve was packing his crosswords and pens up in the top drawer of his desk when something clattered the back door open. Steve grabbed a pen and whipped around in his seat, as if to wield it like a weapon.
“Hello? Who’s there?”
“Hey dingus.” Luckily, Steve couldn’t even see Robin yet-- or rather, she couldn’t see him or his emphasized eye roll. She could hear him groan though. “Hey, shut up and quit whining. I’m sending you home early.”
Her head popped out from the hallway. Robin’s ponytail was high on her head, the hair flopping over and getting caught in her stringy bangs. She flung her backpack out from behind her and tossed it toward Steve. She wasn’t in her uniform yet, only wearing the buttoned up shirt-- unbuttoned and showing her torn and dyed shirt underneath. She was wearing jogging shorts, her knees torn up and covered with Band-Aids. They reminded Steve of the ones taped to his face after getting a plate smashed into his forehead. Deceivingly cheerful.
“What are you doing here early?” Steve stood and followed her, holding her backpack awkwardly in his hands. “You’re  never  early.” Eight on the dot. Every time.
“I figure you want to get out of here tonight.” She didn’t even stop to look at Steve as they walked into the back room. “Probably want to see your boyfriend.”
Her words weren’t sharp, but Steve still recoiled. He let his arms, and her bag, hang by his sides.
“Who? Jonathan?” The only way Jonathan and Robin had ever met was in the hallways of Hawkins High. She definitely never saw them interact at the station-- or on any of their nights together: they were always indoors. “He’s  not my boyfriend.”
“First off, I didn't even say a name." Shit. "Second, he came in the other day looking for you.” Robin started buttoning her shirt up, fixing the collar as she finally turned to see Steve. “He was really upset-- didn’t even know what time it was to know you weren’t working.”
“Upset?” Technically, it wasn’t Steve’s problem. It was the deal; they didn’t  have  to care about each other’s lives. It was just summer. It was just like any other summer.
“Yeah. Crying, sniffling, snot-- the whole nine, man.” Robin sounded extremely sympathetic despite beginning to change her pants. Steve whipped around, covering his face. “You should go see him. Make sure he’s okay. Be a good boyfriend... shithead.”
“He’s  not--”
“Steve, I’m the last person you should be arguing with.” Robin laughed-- and it was only momentarily threatening. Until, of course, Steve realized what she meant.
Like all good secrets kept at Hawkins PD, Steve kept his mouth shut and nodded even if she wasn’t looking.
“Yes, sir--ma'am-- Robin.”
“So, are you going to go or what, dingus?” She tapped him on the shoulder. “Get out of here-- and tell me all about it Wednesday.”
Steve blinked at her, holding out her bag. As if it was enough thanks to give her back her own property. “Are we… friends, or something?”
“No, of course not.” She winked, slapping his arm. “Just looking out for one of my own.”
After picking Mike up from his house, they drove home in uncharacteristic chatter. Jonathan was the only one speaking, humming along to the radio. Will was exhausted beyond performative small talk; the type that had to be done between two best friends when a third party was present. Mike was great at just sitting with Will in silence, but Jonathan didn’t know that. Instead, the three of them passed around quiet jokes and laughter, answering questions about their friends for Jonathan’s upkeep of information.
Once they got in the house, Jonathan let them wander off into Will’s room as he started pulling pots out of the kitchen cabinets. He wouldn’t bother or pester them about any summer work, either. They would be left alone in their own coupled silence.
Mike was sitting cross-legged on Will’s floor, twisting one of Will's crayons between his fingers. Will needed new ones but he felt funny asking for them as a near-freshman in high school. He liked the glide of wax on paper compared to the scrape of colored pencils. Well, that and the fact he ruined half of his crayons the year prior making a full map of Hawkins in a fugue state and only had two crayons able to be used normally.
“You had doctor stuff today, right?”
Will was digging under his bed for his emptier sketch book. “Yeah. Therapy.  Doctor  doctor stuff was two weeks ago.”
“How was it?” Mike let his hand still and rest in his lap. “Like, what do you do in therapy? Just start talking?”
“Yeah, but it’s more than that. You have to think about stuff too. Doctors ask you questions, sometimes.” Will pulled back and drug his old drawing supplies along the carpet. He sat back on his heels and was able to see Mike over the top of the bed. He didn’t know Will was looking. “You have to have answers.”
“What do they ask about?” Mike kept looking at his hands, unaware of Will. “Upside down stuff?”
“Sometimes.” Will shuffled back around to Mike's side of the bed. He could feel the tiniest bit of rug burn starting. “She asked me about my dad today.”
Mike looked up, almost immediately. “Can she do that?”
“Why can’t she?” Will popped the lid on the retired Tupperware, now his art bin. “I talked about it.”
“I thought you didn’t like to.” Will had never said those words which meant Mike had gathered it from just observing him. “Did you… like talking about it?”
“Not really.” Will laughed. He found a few extra crayons, but of all the wrong colors. “She had this big speech afterward about learned helplessness that I… really didn’t like.” Will tried to keep laughing.
Mike put the crayon back in the bin. “Are you okay, Will?”
“Yeah. It’s just… the same old stuff.” Will shrugged. “Sometimes it just bothers me more than other days.”
Mike bit the inside of his cheek, picking at his words carefully. “You never talk about your dad, Will.”
“Why would I?”
“Because it bothers you. You can talk about anything you want-- I… I would listen.”
“You don’t have to listen to it just because it happened to me, you know. My therapist says you don’t have to experience things with me for them to be real.”
“But I want to know.” Mike looked insulted, almost crushed and collapsed as he sat back on his hands. “That’s your dad,” he said. “And you’re my friend.”
They sat in silence for a while. Mike went back to studying a new crayon, picking at the wrapper. Will felt something forming in his throat. A bubble that was hot, thick and sticky. Not vomit, but not impending tears either.
“I don’t get why he left.” Will said. “I don’t know what happened to our family.”
“Nothing happened. Maybe he just… wasn’t good at being your dad anymore.”
“But then why? What did I do?” Will didn’t want to ask Mike, make him feel responsible for answering, but Will was desperate to ask the universe again.
“Nothing.” Mike said. “I just think he…”
“He what? My dad got tired of me? Didn’t want to raise me?”
“Maybe he actually learned how to take a hint and knew he wasn’t good enough for you and Jonathan-- or your mom.” Mike wanted to be hopeful, to be positive, so badly. He ached, his smile tight and weak. He didn't have the answers, and who was Will to put him in the position to come up with them.
“So he gave up.” Will said.
“That’s not what I meant--”
“I know. I know… That’s just how it feels.” Will shrugged. He smiled at Mike, accepting his help and his warmth. It hurt knowing that Mike was wrong, but still. Will could always pretend a little longer. Anything for Mike.
“Hey! You monsters hungry?” Steve clapped his hands together before gently tapping the door. “Jonathan’s got dinner on the table.”
The door was open. Steve didn’t have to knock. He wanted to, just to prove he wasn’t  too  comfortable, but he also knew Mike was over. And knocking would announce his entrance rather than letting it just be something that just  was  . Rather than being  cool .
Awkwardly and with a lot of weird, throat-clearing fanfare, Steve opened the Byers’s front door and poked his head inside. Jonathan called him in from the kitchen without even needing to say hello, or being surprised by his walking in:  In here, Steve! Dinner’s almost done .
Steve walked through the living room carefully, as if he’d disturb it. There was a tape playing softly-- some band Steve’s never heard of, but didn’t hate. He’d grown to like the way that every song played in the Byers house was always moody and melancholy. The music was always the opposite of how he felt stepping into the kitchen.
Jonathan was at the stove, stirring a pot of something that smelled delicious. He had what looked to be tomato sauce stains on the front of his shirt-- where he wrapped his hand up to open the sauce jar. Steve was able to hide his smile as he shouldered off his uniform jacket and toed off his shoes, claiming a chair at the kitchen table.
“How was work?” Jonathan didn’t stop stirring. He moved like the stove was turned all the way up and he was afraid of burning the food. He spoke that way too.
“It was fine. Not a whole lot.” Steve didn’t want to have anything seem bigger than whatever upset Jonathan-- and seemed to still be upsetting him now. “How was your day?”
“Fine. Will and Mike are in the other room.” He was checking things off his list. Steve stepped up to Jonathan and stood even with him at the stove. He was making one-pot pasta. It really did smell fantastic. Steve was so hungry, even after his lunch.
“How was… the other things in your day? Develop any good pictures?” Steve covered how stupid he sounded by placing his hand on Jonathan’s lower back.
Jonathan stopped stirring and looked at him. Steve tried to keep cool, tried not to show his motives-- his attempt to calm something he couldn’t believe he’d missed spinning out of control, even if he didn’t know what it was. “Nancy walked into the dark room today-- she’s actually the one who gave me the muffin-- and she exposed the photos to light too early. So no, actually.”
Steve really was a bad boyfriend. Even when he wasn’t one yet-- or at all.
“Okay… how was. Everything else?”
“You don’t have to ask about my day, Steve. It’s okay.” Jonathan sighed and spoke evenly. “I’m just a little tired. Really. We don’t have to do the whole…  thing .”
The whole thing where Steve was explicit about how much he really cared about Jonathan and admitted he was sincerely and terrifyingly in love with Jonathan.
“I was asking because I was curious. Not out of obligation.” Steve clarified. His hand slid to rest on Jonathan’s hip. He moved closer, lips aiming to place a commitment-less kiss on his cheek.
“Steve! I said to keep it  cool .” Jonathan ducked back, placing a hand on Steve’s chest. “I don’t want Will to see us.”
“Your brother?” Steve was surprised; of all people Jonathan explicitly wanted to hide from Will seemed kind and forgiving-- not that there was anything  to  forgive, but it was something Steve often checked for. Steve was sure that one of Dustin’s friends would be… like Steve. Or like Jonathan-- maybe. All of them seemed prepared to deal with any of their friends suddenly being different. Far more prepared than Steve ever was.
“Yes. My brother.” Jonathan snapped, banging the spoon against the edge of the pot. “I don’t want him to learn I’m not dating Nancy but  instead  seeing her ex-boyfriend in the same day.” he whispered.
“Wait, what? He thinks you’re with Nancy?” Steve wasn’t sure where they went wrong. They were trying to  obscure  the truth, not lead everyone to a different reality. “D-Do you think Mike does too?”
“I don’t know! I didn’t want to ask and seem weird.” Jonathan sighed again. He sounded tense again. “I told Will I’d tell him if I was seeing anyone… And he promised me the same.”
Steve knew not to press the obvious question-- well   are  you seeing someone, Jonathan?  -- but also didn’t want to touch the obvious implication that Will  needed  to share a secret with Jonathan. Instead, he placed his hands into his pockets and turned to lean against the counter.
“Dinner smells really good, Byers.” There was another name that began with “B” that Steve wasn’t allowed to use, but always wanted to. Byers Byers Byers. Baby baby baby. “Thank you, again, for cooking for me-- for us.”
“You think I’m going to let you starve?” His stirring slowed; the stove cooled down. He nudged Steve’s arm with the spoon. “You coming home late and trying to cook? You mean half-drinking a beer and falling asleep face down on your bed in your uniform, half unbuttoned.”
“You picture that often, Byers?” Steve lifted an eyebrow. “Hm?”
“Don’t flatter yourself.” Jonathan’s lips quirked into a smile again. “But, if you’d like a beer, I think there’s one in the fridge. No one in the house is going to touch it.”
“I can go ask Will if he wants it.”
“Shut up-- do you want it or not?”
“No.” Steve didn’t like drinking when they were together. He’d never really heard the full story about where Mr. Byers went, but he had a father of his own to make those blank spaces fill pretty fast. “But thanks. Don’t want the habit of needing a beer to forget how boring my job is.”
“I thought you liked your job?” Jonathan took a piece of pasta out of the pot and held it out for Steve to test.
He chewed and answered. “I do! It’s nice to have normal hours-- and I’m happy to help have replacements as Flo gets ready to retire but… I don’t know. Sometimes it feels  boring .”
“Would you rather be chasing down a four-legged monster without a face?” Jonathan let out a bubble of genuine laughter, playfully glaring at Steve.
“Frankly, yes! At least we’d all have something to do. I feel like I don’t see everyone anymore.”
“Then throw a party. Don’t wish for anything bad to happen.” Jonathan said firmly. “Let the record show my brother is a very strange magnet for all this… weird shit.”
“You’re right, I’m sorry.” Steve said solemnly. He put his hand on Jonathan’s forearm. “I wish we were all safely doing something exciting. It felt nice to be needed, even if no one knew it was us.”
Jonathan put the spoon down on the counter and pivoted to be looking only at Steve. There was something resting just on the tip of his tongue, just under the surface of their conversation. It would’ve been a digression-- Steve could tell by Jonathan’s tense and furrowed brow-- but he would’ve listened.
“Jonathan?” Steve squeezed his arm, lifting his eyebrows. “What is it?”
“I--” He clenched his jaw, trying to swallow his words. “I think--” Steve knew there was no end to Jonathan’s sentence; merely starting it meant there was trust between them. A careful admission through omission. Steve knew Jonathan was looking at his shoes and wouldn’t be seen as he took in the secret flinches of Jonathan’s face. The crinkle by his left eye, the twitch of his mouth, double blinking--
They both jumped apart as the phone started ringing, practically shaking on the wall. Jonathan stepped away from Steve and left everything unsaid. Again.
Jonathan tucked the phone between his ear and shoulder as he turned to lean against the wall.
“Hello? This is--” His face changed sharply, his eyebrows furrowing. “I told you to stop bothering us. You’re lucky she’s not here to pick up the phone-- I don’t  care !” Jonathan cleared his throat and looked at Steve in a flash of uncertainty and anxiety. “I have the police here right now and if you don’t stop calling me I will send them to your house-- it’s not a threat if you’re the one bothering us. Stop. Calling.” He slammed the phone down and braced his weight against the wall with his other hand.
“Am I considered ‘the police’ now?” Steve said lightly. It was his way of letting Jonathan know he was listening, but not asking direct questions. “I’m not even allowed to have a badge.”
“It counts.” Jonathan said, letting his arms fall down by his sides. Steve stepped over and kept stirring dinner.
“Who was that?”
“No one. Can you go get the boys in the other room? Dinner’s ready.” Jonathan pushed Steve aside to hunch over the stove again.
“Sure.” Steve nodded, knowing he wasn’t seen. “Hey! You monsters hungry? Jonathan’s got dinner on the table.”
Dinner felt weird.
Will couldn’t help but feel like he and Mike had gotten into a fight. Talking about his dad made anything feel sticky, feel like it was violent or volatile. A second from snapping or tearing off, bouncing around the walls and echoing in Will's body. A small conversation between friends-- actually a little  understanding  between  best  friends-- felt like it had been a screaming match, all because it was cut off. There was no apology from Will. He didn't have the chance to tie it all up with an  I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, forget I said anything.
His plea sat heavy on his tongue as he talked to Steve-- who had arrived without notice-- and let Mike make him laugh so hard he nearly shot water out his nose. Will let it all happen under the tremor, the ache, of an apology. And maybe, if he was the best brother and friend he should’ve been, no problems or therapy, it would be enough of an apology.
He wasn't hungry and only ate half his serving of pasta, even though it was usually his favorite of Jonathan's recipes. He did apologize for that though, and it felt right to say aloud. Even if it was misdirected and no one heard it.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm so so sorry. Please come back--
Mike wasn’t tired, Will knew, but he still wanted to go to bed right after their horror movie ended. It was clear Mike hadn't been paying attention to the movie; the entire plot was that dreams were a new horror-scape for monsters to get teenagers. It wasn't too scary to Will; it just felt familiar. The villain looked different, more human, but Will knew what it felt like to dream while wide awake. To watch and be unable to do anything but scratch at the surface--
Convincing Will to get ready for bed, Mike said they’d have all day in the morning. He said that maybe he could convince his mom to let him stay over again if they don’t get all their fun in. Will knew Mike's mom probably would, if only because she felt bad for Will. But he would take the pity. A sleepover wasn't the worst thing to get from pity.
Will could still hear Mike fidgeting in his sleeping bag. He was rubbing his feet together like a cricket and twisting his wristwatch. The plastic scratched the sheer material of his sleeping bag rhythmically: back and forth. back and forth. backandforthbackandforth. It was like Mike was counting the ticks of his silent digital watch. Will began to play with his own watch, keeping it on in bed only because he'd noticed Mike hadn't removed it when they were brushing their teeth that night; apparently the watch was too good to part with.
Time though, was something Will wished he could separate himself from. He could hear the seconds scraping by now. Every moment he kept his friend awake and bored because Will was too weak or (rather and) too  everything  to stay up late again.
Therapy hadn’t even been that bad. Not really. Maybe it could be exhausting but it didn’t count because Will sat in the same spot for an hour. It wasn’t real work. It shouldn’t have counted. Will should’ve been able to hang out with his friend until sunrise, getting in trouble with his mom for being up so late. He should’ve still been a stupid, carefree kid, not a by-gone troubled teenager.
Maybe his dad had seen that from the beginning. Will's dad was always gambling, betting on baseball games he had these incredible "feelings" on. Sometimes he was wrong, but when he was right it was an amazing prediction; having the foresight no one else had. And maybe that was what it was, leaving them when he did. Maybe he saw Will wouldn’t be the second son he wanted after all. Maybe he knew of all the damage that would be done to him, the damage he would cause. Probably saw it from miles-- years-- away. And he left without a single warning to any of it.
What if his father had known? Could've known where he was when he came back into town two years ago? Not gone forever just in the lights. Just out of reach, just through the wall, Dad. What if he had known, been able to see, able to know, but wanted to leave Will Down there being possessed and enveloped and consumed and--
Will felt a chill scurry down his back. The feeling almost had legs. Too many. He felt ice cold, his body going blank-- not numb, but  blank -- for a second. He couldn’t feel his fingers, but could still feel every inch of his body, suddenly pulsing and seizing.
"Will?" Mike asked, sitting up. He gripped the end of the bed and pulled his face closer to Will's. He squinted in the darkness, feeling for Will’s hand. Will couldn’t answer, his jaw tense and breath rattling out of him. "Will, what’s wrong?"
After a (thankfully) non-awkward dinner, Steve and Jonathan washed all the dishes and let the boys watch whatever movie they wanted. Steve didn’t pay attention to what tape he put in the VRC. He was too busy thinking about the hands hidden in the warm soapy water in the kitchen sink. Neither Mike nor Will seemed too bothered by the  disgusting  amount of blood or the scary blade man on the TV. He felt no regret letting them go to bed right after the credits rolled. Jonathan had looked exhausted after putting the last dish away, and dozed off during the climax of the movie-- even slept through the high-pitched screaming.
They waited for the sound of Will’s door closing over before they got into bed.
Jonathan flopped onto his back, a pillow resting between his chest and crossed arms. Steve laid on his side, bracing his weight on his elbow. He poked at Jonathan's furrowed eyebrow lightly.
"What's the problem, Byers?"
"Nothing."
"You are not a really great liar, you do know that right?" That and Steve could still hear Robin's blasé recounting of Jonathan's distress.  Yeah. Crying, sniffling, snot-- the whole nine, man.
Jonathan sighed and turned to look at Steve. He hated being called out. "It's about Will."
"What's wrong with Will? He seemed alright at dinner."
"Yeah, but," Another sigh. "Steve, I think my brother’s gay."
Steve's first response was swallowed and he nodded. "Okay. Okay. And, um, what's the issue with that?" He adjusted himself on the bed, hoping there was more subtlety in that.
"I can't talk to him about it. I mean," Jonathan smiled and reached to touch his face. "This is a very different thing than being fourteen and confused."
"Who says he's confused?"
"I don't mean with himself-- the rest of the world is so confusing, Steve. You see the news... I can't talk to him. I didn't grow up like that. And being with you is... Different. We dated girls before. Will... I don't know. I think he knows already."
"You think he's got feelings for--"
"Oh absolutely." Jonathan nodded, closing his eyes. "Oh, I'm so glad it's not just me who sees it."
"Hopefully Wheeler does too."
"Hey, keep your voice down, he's only a few rooms over ."
"Sorry. Sorry. Me and my big mouth " Steve rested his head on Jonathan's shoulder. "Shut me up, maybe."
"Not until my mom gets back." Jonathan said, rolling up onto his side too. "If I catch her when she comes in the door, she won't come into my room to say good night. I can't have you distracting me until then."
"Your mom is on a date. She's an adult and so are you." Steve kissed Jonathan's shoulder. "You are a working man who just finished a long day at work-- I think you can cuddle up with your boyf--" Steve choked on his own stupidity, feeling his face go red and charisma die on impact. "With me."
"I will. Once my mom is back." Jonathan kissed Steve, as if a parting promise. Only to backtrack on his words immediately. He tucked Steve’s hair back behind his ear, his hands trying not to hold his face. “No--  no . Steve, not until my mom gets back.”
“I can keep an ear out--” As Steve spoke, the power in his bedside lamp dimmed. The power hummed quietly before flickering back up. Jonathan tensed and pushed himself up in bed.
“Did you see that?”
“Yeah, it was just the light, Byers. It’s windy out tonight, maybe a tree brushed a powerline.” Steve pushed Jonathan back down to his pillow-- and back into his own skin again. “It’s  nothing  . What if I turn out the light? Your mom won’t even  see  us in here.”
“No. No, I have to wait for her.”
“What if she doesn’t come back?”
“What!” Jonathan jerked upright again.
“I  meant  what if she’s at Hopper’s or something?” Steve shrugged. “She’s an adult.”
“Steve, that’s my  mom .” Jonathan hissed, swatting at the hand resting on his shoulder.
“I  meant  because she drove there on her own. If she had some wine, maybe she stayed somewhere and is being a smart, responsible parent.” Steve soothed. “Something you don’t have to be right now. You’re not Will’s parent and you aren’t your own. Lay down, will you?”
Jonathan was reluctant, but let Steve ease him back down again. He pulled the pillow tighter to his chest and sighed, his crossed arms sinking deeper. Steve laid down beside him, nose gently touching the end of his shoulder. As he breathed, his short exhales tickled Jonathan’s skin and got him giggling. It was Steve’s secret trick; something that always worked because Jonathan didn’t know it was a pattern-- didn’t know he was ticklish.
“Sorry I was weird today.” Jonathan said suddenly. He wasn’t even grinning.
“What?” They didn’t apologize. There was no need. “You’re worried about stuff-- it’s okay.”
“No, I like our dinners. And I was so uptight. I don’t know. I’m sorry.”
“Okay.” Steve didn’t know what to do with the sentiment. “Apology accepted?”
Jonathan sighed again, blowing it out slowly between his pressed lips. “Lonnie called today.”
“L- your  dad ? Is that who was on the phone?” Steve wasn’t sure what came over him-- or his body-- as he placed an arm over Jonathan’s waist and pulled them together. There was something unspokenly intimate talking about abusive fathers while being nearly sutured together in bed, but Steve pretended he was just having problems hearing Jonathan correctly.
“Yeah.” Jonathan turned, his nose brushing Steve’s. “Said he wants custody of Will. He doesn’t trust Mom, he said.”
“How is he-- He can’t do that.”
“He’s going to try. I don't know where it came from. He still thinks he can win a case because the news says Will just  disappeared into the woods . Like he ran away from us or something.”
“Everyone knows that’s not true.”
“A court might not.” Jonathan sighed, ducking his head down. Steve resisted lifting his chin to hook it over Jonathan’s head, nestling him into his neck. He laid still, listening to his breathing and the gentle creaking of the house--
Jonathan's door was thrown open, both men sitting up quickly, ready to defend themselves and their actions. It was Mike, in his pajamas with his hair sticking out in wild curls. Will stood just behind him in the hallway looking far more awake. Stilted and untousled.
"Mike?"
"Jonathan, quick!"
"What is it?" Jonathan swung his legs around and motioned both boys to come in. "Will?" Mike pushed him into the center of the door frame, although he remained in the hallway, in the light. Will’s hand grabbed at the back of his neck. His face was blank and his eyes were distant.
"Something's wrong." Will said slowly, blinking to focus. "I feel him."
"Feel who?" Jonathan kneeled in front of Will, holding his shoulders. "Feel who, Will?"
"Dad."
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bungeenomin · 4 years ago
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THE PLAYERS GAME- XIAOJUN X Y/N SOCIAL MEDIA AU {54}
Sicheng is hesitant as he raises his hand to the door. Only faith knows how this is going to turn out. Never, in all their years, all the time spent feuding had the pair every tried to talk about it or fix it.
Honestly, Sicheng was fine with that. He had his feelings, and he didn’t want to hear Dejun’s, nor did Dejun necessarily want to hear his. They chose to hate each other. Avoid each other. Between Dejun failing to admit his wrong doing, and Sicheng being too hurt and petty to move on when Dejun was in denial about his actions, this argument took over.
It’s been on Sicheng’s mind ever since him and y/n fell out. For too long now, this feud has effected both of their lives significantly. It always seems to get in the way. Y/n, his best friend hated him, because of the feud. The friend group fell apart, because of the feud. Sicheng lost one of his first best friends, Xiao Dejun, because of the feud.Two people who have so much love for each other are hurting right now, partially because of the feud. He is giving one attempt to ending this. If Dejun doesn’t want to, then he’s done all he is willing to do.
After a quick internal battle Sicheng knocks on the door. “Oh Sicheng, uh, hey” Xuxi greets, scratching his neck in slight confusion. “What are you doing he-”
“He’s here to see me” Dejun mumbles from behind the taller, large hoodie thrown over his head, with a comfy pair of shorts underneath.
Xuxi looks between the two, trying to read their expressions, but to no avail. Funnily enough, i don’t think the boys would be able to read their own expressions if they could see them at this present moment. “Lets go” Dejun monotonously speaks, heading towards his bedroom with Sicheng closely behind.
The second they enter the room and the door is closed, there’s an awkward tension. This whole concept is foreign to them, and they have no idea how to deal with it. “You can sit down” Dejun mumbles, looking down at his legs which are crossed on his bed.
“I know this is, awkward or whatever, and i’ve kinda put you in this situation, but this feud is effecting both of our lives and the people in it way too much. It needs to just be put to rest Dejun, if you’re willing to do that. If not, i’ll leave now.
Dejun doesn’t react at all, just continues to sit and play with his fingers. Sicheng doesn’t take this as a no though, he knows the boy has a lot of thoughts to gather. It wasn’t until Sicheng heard small sniffles and Dejun’s body begin to shake that he speaks up. “Dejun why are you-”
“I’m so sorry” Dejun whispers shakily. “I’m so fucking sorry” Dejun chokes out, making eye contact with Sicheng before burying his head in his hands. Sichengs heart, although concerned about a sobbing Dejun, can’t help but to swell. After all the pain, all these years, he got an apology.
“I- what the fuck is wrong with me Sicheng?” Dejun questions, the tears failing to stop streaming down his face.
“What do you mean?” Sicheng replies, his eyes softening at the boy.
“I hurt you so fucking bad. Why the fuck did i even say that shit? Why? I knew you were gay, and i got intimidated by you talking to a girl? Who the fuck does that Sicheng? What the actual fuck? I knew from the second it left my lips that it was wrong. So wrong. I knew that nothing could have hurt you more than that, but i still did it. I had such a big fucking ego and fake tough guy persona that i couldn’t even bring myself to apologise. I let myself be angry at you, to take the feeling of me being wrong away. That’s so fucked Sicheng. You were one of my best friends” Dejun sobs, his entire body shaking.
“Come here you idiot” Sicheng sighs, dragging the sobbing boy into his chest. “Yes Dejun, what you did really hurt me, it left a huge scar. I couldn’t believe one of my best friends of all people would do that. But you know what, i’ve thought a lot about this, i’ve seen you change so much over time. You aren’t high school Dejun. You aren’t the boy, who built his walls higher than anyone could climb when his dad died. You aren’t the person who adopted a new persona to hide their hurt. You Xiao Dejun, have grown up. Your walls have come down so much. You express your emotions. You care for the people you love. Honestly, i think the only thing holding you onto the old Dejun and preventing this new Dejun from blooming fully, is this war between us. What do you think, hm? I was the only person still getting treated like the old Dejun would. I don’t want this anymore Dejun, we’ve hurt so many people, including each other. Your apology couldn’t mean anymore to me than it does”
“Why the fuck are you being so nice to me” Dejun sobs even louder into Sicheng’s chest at his kind words, clutching his shirt.
“Because i forgive you. I forgive this Dejun for old Dejun’s mistakes. You were going through so much back then and i know that you would never do that to someone today, because that’s not who you are. I forgive you Dejun”
“Thank you” Dejun chokes out, internally cringing at how vulnerable he feels right now. But nothing can cloud the weight that has been lifted off both of their shoulders tonight.
“Sicheng?” Dejun questions.
“Mhm”
“I promise you what happened at the party isn’t what you think happened. I know i-it looked like that but i promise you it’s not. I love her Sicheng, so much. I was gonna ask her to be my girlfriend and everything”
“Do you want to explain what happened then?” Sicheng softly asks, tucking Dejun’s hair behind his ear.
“Okay. Let me get Johnny and Xuxi”
————————————————————————
feel free to send me questions/opinions about the au!
main masterlist | previous | next
socialmedia!au xiaojun!au wayv!au nct!au
pairing: xiaojun X y/n
genre: college!au , fluff , angst
warnings: smut, oral, sex
summary: Hockey player!Xiaojun is the biggest player in UCS, both on and off the ice. He has a different girl practically every time you see him. But when y/n has to learn all about the player for a psychology project, will she just be another girl that’s dragged into his game?
taglist: @xiaojunsmintchocci @whoe-dis @yancupidxhyunjin @bvbyxuxi @ngayongabi @kswblueprint @kylomeyon @neocluefor @amymoonl @ta3ilmoon @thatonekpopsweater @captainasianllama @bubudays @glxwingstar @bby-kji9 @simplicitysbabe @skittlez-area512 @crybabybomin @this-is-the-bbc @xiaodejunfair @jeonlovers @junglewoos @absolutefantrash @yoongsicles @ksoolive @ajhdr @mxrcayong @kuntenwinluxiaohenyang @bubblywonu @markistheloveofmylife @llamajuns @queen-of-himbos @doyoungsarabbit @awksmark @notbeforelong @agustdiv1ne @alexameliamg
ask to be added!
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transsexualhamlet · 3 years ago
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sherlock holmes reactions part 4 (?) ive lost count already but unsurprisingly ive grown even more attached to him
using this as the cover image because i made him a playlist. cause im awful
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no legit this is gonna need a read more because it's SO LONG SHIHEWIESHEFSHIEWHF
Had three mental breakdowns this week and realized i do in fact kin sherlock motherfucking holmes. this does not bode well for anything in my life mentally I've diagnosed him with so many things
Oh boy lol you want the list I think hes autistic (undisputed honestly) plus also adhd but on top of that there's the manic depression and uhhh the bpd lmao I dont even think that's it those are just. the obvious ones
But yeah man's a fucking mess and a shit person but in the same way as me so 👍
Some highlights I thought were very funny:
watson: we are in fact going to be waltzing into a place where people are Shooting People you do not have your gun. this is a problem
sherlock: don't worry watson I have my trusty stick!
watson: visible pain
This clearly happens like every day or so with them
but yeah there were some really honestly sweet scenes with them at the apartment and why am i getting soft over the crusty man being gay
have you considered tho. have you considered them
have you considered sherlock, who usually only plays absolute garbage on his violin serenading watson to sleep when he was tired and in pain and watson being so fucking in love with the man and waxing poetic about falling asleep to his music and waking up to see him fallen asleep on the couch next to him and oh my god them
They're just really sweet together for such a completely dysfunctional couple so much of the time lol I just. Sherlock being like.
Sherlock half of the time: watson you're fucking stupid. no i won't take care of my personal needs stfu. watson get a goddamn life. watson shut up. watson no one cares about your goddamn opinion. no i need to disturb you in the middle of the night it's for science. hey watson mind if i manipulate mansplain malewife
Sherlock the other half of the time: HELLO SIR YOU ARE MY FAVORITE MAN TO EVER MAN HELLO MAY I SPEND THE REST OF MY DAYS WITH YOU HELLO I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU WE ARE PERFECT MATCHES I LOVE YOU AND I NEED YOU YOURE SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME PLEASE MARRY ME
They're... they certainly are.
ALSO OH MY GOD.
THIS ONE TIME WHEN SHERLOCK WAS JUST PACING AROUND THE ROOM AT 3 AM GOING "IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE >:(((" AND HUDSON LIKE BARGED IN TO COMPLAIN AND THEN WATSON WAS LIKE DUDE YOU GOTTA STOP DOING THIS AND PROCEEDS TO SAY THE LINE "YOU ARE KNOCKING YOURSELF UP, OLD MAN"
BAHGHSFHGRHEWHEWHIFEW
BRB SOBBING
CALLING HIM AN OLD MAN???? KNOCKING HIMSELF UP?? I DONT KNOW WHATS FUNNIER
The main highlight of this part was I have now gotten to see him have a great time watching his homo homie get married
Its so fucking funny.......
I was prepared for a funny reaction by yuumori sherlock's face when he said it lol but. Damn i was really not prepared tbh
watson: I'm engaged!
sherlock: *pained groaning*
watson: do you... not like her?
sherlock: no she's fine she's great you'll be wonderful together bUT I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE ARE HETEROSEXUAL WATSON DO I HAVE TO MARRY MYSELF THEN WATSON? ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE ME MARRY MYSELF.
watson: yeah... yeah... fair, I feel really bad because you did this whole case and I got a girlfriend out of it and all you got was me leaving you alone fuck man im sorry what are you gonna do without me
sherlock, highly sarcastic: dont worry watson I've always got my handy cocaine! *pulls it out and gets high in front of watson just as he's about to leave*
watson: *in fucking agony*
sherlock: good for you!
I DONT EVEN- THIS SCENE KILLED ME MULTIPLE TIMES OVER WHAT
ITS SO GODDAMN NONCHELANT ABOUT IT SHERLOCK IS JUST LIKE YEAH I WILL IN FACT NOT BE MENTALLY HEALTHY IF YOU ARE NOT WITH ME 24/7 BUT WHATEVER YOU DO YOU /S
I'd like to apologize to watson on sherlock's behalf lmao. man is being a bit too codependent on main
The last thing about sign of four I do need to address is yeah, there's the Horrific Amounts Of Racism in that one and the whiplash hearing it is just ridiculous because they seem to be so knowledgeable in all other areas and fairly... politically correct, taking sherlock's original misogyny as a purposeful character flaw, but then they just mention someone indigenous once and suddenly its all parrotting racist propaganda and just... really awful shit. There's no way I'm gonna speak for the group that just got absolutely hate crimed here but anyone can tell the author just has no clue what he's fucking talking about and it's physically painful.
And I don't know, it's just so bad it seems out of character? Doyle's making these motherfuckers say shit that honestly, Sherlock would know better about. And especially Watson. Come on, you cannot tell me watson is mentally capable of being prejudiced against someone. Please do not make him that way.
I'm not sure how to handle it specifically, or what's the proper way I should handle something like that in a media I otherwise like. Is it ok to say Doyle was clearly a piece of shit on the matter and separate those characters from his bias or is that insensitive?
I don't know, I was Not a fan of it and I'm glad to see they've at least finally shut up about the guy
But anyway yeah, uhhhh onto the short stories because I'm trying to read those before I get to the final problem
Scandal in Bohemia was a fucking ride, first of all, before we even get to Sherlock's girlboss arc we have to discuss how gay the whole situation was and how Doyle's attempt at making them less gay failed spectacularly
Like he's all "ah yes I need to marry off watson and uhhh make sherlock ummmm interact with a woman so they dont look gay" but he does it SO BADLY that it makes them look EVEN GAYER
cause i mean, even the conversation they had about watson getting married back in sign of four was gay af, but how Doyle handled things afterward was in no way straighter.
Cause you know, the man kind of wrote himself into a corner with the fact of Watson narrating these stories. So Watson has to be around to witness them, and to witness Sherlock's own thought process rather privately, so he has to be around sherlock at night, a lot. But trying to come up with a reason for that happening just... it didn't occur to Doyle. He just went. Ah yes this makes sense. And it's Watson just like Sleeping Over At Sherlock's like every other goddamn day and every time his wife leaves town and having them basically still live that cute domestic home life but they have absolutely no excuses for doing it anymore. It's quite funny
Like it was gay already the way they interacted when they officially lived together but it was like, a necessity for them. Now it's not, Watson just comes over because he goddamn wants to, and it's hilarious to me.
LIKE IDK I THINK THEY KIND OF BROKE UP FOR A YEAR OR SO BC OF WATSON GETTING MARRIED AND THEY LIKE DONT HAVE CONTACT WITH ONE ANOTHER BUT ONE DAY WATSON JUST INEXPLICABLY HAS THE URGE TO COME VISIT SHERLOCK ON NO NOTICE AND THEN SUDDENLY THEY ARE TOGETHER NEAR 24/7 AGAIN LIKE BARELY ANYTHING CHANGED AHIEHOEWH
SIT DOWN AND TRY TO TELL ME THOSE ARE NOT HOMOSEXUALS
Watson walks in on no fucking notice after a full year and Sherlock is just. In the middle of some experiment obviously but hes like
Sherlock, carrying around unidenfiable chemical mixtures: W A T S O N you look good you look good! i see you've gained seven pounds!!
watson: uh. thanks??? Hey lol *awkwardly waves* Uh um Wanted to Uhm sEe you
Sherlock: ABOUT gODDAMN TIME AND YES WONDERFUL LOOK LOOK SIT DOWN I HAVE THINGS TO INFODUMP ABOUT
watson: :) ok :) *turns to camera* and we were back to the old days
sherlock: makes a deduction
watson: wowwwwwwwwwwww !! so true bestie !!
sherlock: !!!!!!!!! :))) !!!!! :))) uh fuck im supposed to be smooth Its Elementary Lol
watson: *turns to camera* when i stroke his ego like this and compliment him he blushes like a girl like i just complimented his dress so i do it more because he likes it. this is a homie trait
watson: well i should probably get going! my wife will notice that i am gone my dear buddy bro homie!
sherlock: NO DONT LEAVE IM LOST WITHOUT YOU (pretty much a direct quote lol) your. wife doesn't. get back home until monday. I know this because I am smart and definitely have not been stalking you.
watson: alright :)))))
AND THEN HE FUCKING SLEEPS OVER LMAO FUCKING HOMOS
So yeah they're right back where they were before pretty much and there's a case bc of course there is
And honestly I think this short story specifically was so insane mostly just because of how absolutely fast it all went. Yuumori kind of made me believe the original Irene Adler was more of an important character than she really is? And I think that's. Honestly so funny. Motherfucker shows up for ten pages, girlbosses her way around town, and changes sherlock's entire opinion of the female gender while still keeping him gay?
LIKE NO LOL SHES NOT IN ANY WAY A LOVE INTEREST AND WATSON GOES OUT OF HIS WAY TO SPECIFY THE FACT THAT IN NO WORLD WOULD THEY HAVE BEEN ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED BECAUSE. SHERLOCK. DIDN'T DATE WOMEN.
HE WAS JUST??? SO IMPRESSED AND SHELL SHOCKED BY HER EXISTENCE HE DECIDED IT WAS TIME FOR GIRLBOSS APPRECIATION DAY TODAY AND ALL DAYS HENCEFORTH???
AND THEY HAVE LIKE O N E INTERACTION?? God, the power this woman(?) has. Watson looks at her once like. damb shawty 😳 and she's like "no<3" and he's like FUCK
Like yeah it's pretty much just the king walking up like "help girl the whore is blackmailing me" and sherlock being like "ok lol this will be easy" and then it proceeded to not in fact be easy or even possible
sherlock like... posed as a dead body and tried to get her to give up the location of the photo but she out-acted him and skipped the town the next day after doing the 'good night mr. sherlock holmes' thing with sherlock completely tricked
and she just. sends a letter like "dear sherlock holmes. you're a fucking idiot and i think it's funny that you lost. nice job tho mad respect" and sherlock just SHORT CIRCUITS
the king comes back a bit later like "hey Dude where's my Photo" and sherlock's like oh yeah uhhhhhhhhhhh about that and the king is like HOW COULD IT POSSIBLY HAVE BEEN THAT GODDAMN HARD i would have dated someone more noble if she wasn't so pretty i swear im on a whole different level from her
and then. GIRLBOSSIFIED SHERLOCK HOLMES RESPONDS "from what I have seen of the lady, she seems indeed to be on a very different level from your majesty" ABSEHHESHEFHHFES ROASTED
and the dude just LEAVES
After that I read a few more of the short stories and well the highlights I got from that pretty much were these conversations
Watson: sherlock. honey. have you. eaten anything today
Sherlock: IT DIDNT OCCUR TO ME DEAR WATSON
Watson: ITS FIVE PM
and:
Sherlock: *having one of his Moment Moments at three in the goddamn mornig* GRRRR CRIME ISNT WHAT IT USED TO BE
Watson: MY DEAR SHERCOCK WHAT IS CRIME S U P P O S E D TO BE LIKE ACCORDING TO YOU
Sherlock: no one's original anymore fucking copycats
Watson: so you want the criminals to make things harder for you specifically.
Sherlock, exasperated: yes!
I love them your honor.
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unloved-cadillac · 4 years ago
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Leather Jackets and Glasses
Y/n L/n, the leader of the notorious gang called The Scouts. Placed in Rose high, Y/n is in her senior year but things take a turn when she starts getting interested in a certain boy named, Levi Ackerman. Follow the journey of heartbreak, betrayal and love between two people who were destined to be together.   
CHAPTER ONE:
There’s always someone out there made for everyone. This is something i highly believe in. Every person has their person. A boy could have had this childhood friend, who later in life turned out to be more than that. The girl who kissed her best friend because she had never had her first kiss and wanted to get it over with, only for her best friend to pull her closer and kiss her harder. Everyone had that someone. it was only a matter of time before we all found them. But sometimes, its not always that easy. Things happen that are out of your control. You won’t speak to them for long periods of time, bad fights, leaving. And this almost always happens before you get together. That’s the bad part. But that’s the wake up call to tell you that “hey. I care for this person more than myself. I need them. I can’t loose them”.
I loved the idea of love. But I never spoke on it. It made me seem weak and soft and, that’s something i did not want a GANG to know. But i have had my fair share of boyfriends, no love just a quick fuck here and there but there was one boy who captured my heart without even trying. He did so effortlessly you would think he was the biggest player out there. But no. That was just who Levi Ackerman was. 
It all began in my senior year of high school. The year had just started and i had nothing to be afraid of. My gang, The Scouts, were the notorious gang of Rose. I was their leader, mostly because my father was the main leader of The Scouts. He was The Godfather. I’d like to say that I did fairly well in school, but not A plus material, I just wanted to graduate and get outta there. This year was mostly about forming new relationships, clearing the air to certain people, and just making amends. But some people also wanted to confess to their someone. I dont want to brag or anything, but i had a lot of people wanting to be with me. Boys would try their luck and i only gave a few chances to a few people, and well, it never turned out good, mostly because my dad found something wrong with them, wanted them to join the gang or they were too scared to take things further. 
I loved the gang. They were my family. And plus I could get anything I wanted. I was a princess. In my senior I made a promise to myself that I would not date. Anyone. No matter who much they begged. Because when I hit 17, my life in the gang became a whole lot dangerous. Shootouts would occur at my house, I would get kidnapped and sometimes they would use my friends to threaten me. It was horrible to say the least. And I could ony imagine what they would do if i had a special someone. God. I would not want my someone to have this life. As great as it is material wise, shit gets serious in a split second. My dad had warned me about it. He said that the only way i would get involved with someone is if he had picked them. And naturally i told him, i just wouldnt get a boyfriend, much to his displeasure. 
Of course, my school had heard about the little, mishaps my gang had endured and that resulted in me having this huge reputation in school. I was labelled as: dangerous. I’m not gonna lie to you and say that I didnt get into fights, or break some bitches nose because they offended me. I was still a gangster, fighting is in my blood. I got suspended. A lot. And apparently, that attracted Levi. 
I had seen him around town and school. He would always be in the cafe around the corner of Trost. I knew that because my brother owned that cafe. Marco had nothing to do with the gang. He wasn’t my father’s child so my dad wasn’t so concerned about him. He was from my mothers first marriage, but that never stopped us from being brother and sister. My mother left me after three years and went back to Marco’ father.
Levi was one of the smartest people at school. Always getting awards but he never seemed to go for the functions. He had kept to himself most of the time. He had his close friends. To name them there was Farlan(his brother), Isabel(Farlan’s girlfriend),Hange(the crazy science geek) and Erwin, the jock.
The first time I actually had spoken to Levi was in Physics. I was running late because I was caught up in beating someone up at the back of the school for reasons I shall not say. I ran into the classroom, out of breathe. Everyone looked at me. Some snickered but when I shot them a quick glare, they shut up.
-Ah Ms L/n. How nice of you to join us.
My professor told me, voice laced with sarcasm.
-uh..sorry. I was busy..lost track of time.
I explained. I winced all of a sudden when I looked at my knuckles. Bleeding. Of course. But I kept that hand behind my back.
-hm. Get to a seat.
He said a bit irritated. I walked away to find one and the only one that was available was the last one by the window. I sat down and realized that..I didn’t bring my books. I cursed myself then I turned to my left and saw a boy sitting there taking notes. He seemed really into his work though, but shit, I needed something to write on.
-hey.
I say to capture his attention. He stops writing and slowly looks towards me. He seems really...shy?
-can I borrow a page? And pencil?
I ask him. He widens his eyes and quickly tears a page from his book and digs in his pencil case for a pencil. He finds one and hands me the objects.
-thanks,man.
He simply nods, a faint blush forming on his cheeks but I couldn’t really see it because he put his head down and his long ass bangs hid most of his face. I take a second to observe him. A simple t-shirt, black jeans with converse and cute pair of glasses. His hair was sort of, jet black. I smirk. I knew him. He was one of those top students.
-alright. I’m gonna pass out your tests.
My professor suddenly says. “Fuck”, I mentally curse. I hated physics. I never got the gist of it. I only knew those Newton’s Laws. But I knew that wasn’t enough. He walks around passing papers and comes to me. He looks at my paper, fucking ‘scoffs’, and hands me my paper. A 57. That’s what I got. I didn’t think it was that bad, but this teacher is makingit seem as if the world had just caught on fire and its pissing me off. Looks like someone’s car is getting wrecked today.
-Levi, well done. Keep it up.
I hear him say to the boy. Ah. Levi. That was his name. I reach over and see his mark. 97. Goddamn. He was smart smart.
-a 97? Holy fuck. I could never.
I tell him. He looks at me, kinda stunned. I must admit, if he took off those glasses, it would be one of those scenes in those shitty teen movies where the nerd removes their glasses to reveal they look like a model. But he still looks cute. I looked at him tilting my head to the side.
-what?
I ask him. He shakes his head and looks back down. What a strange one. Suddenly I flinch and look at my bruised knuckles. Fuck they were bleeding. I pat down my pockets on my jeans and check my inside pocket of my leather jacket. How marvelous. I didn’t bring a handkerchief. So I just hold the bruise down to stop the bleeding. Maybe I can make it 45 minutes. All of a sudden I see a handkerchief next to my arm. I look at it, confused, but I take it anyway. I look at Levi. He has a smile, tiny smile. Yeah, he gave me it.
-Thank you.
I tell him. I saw him visibly tense but he looks at me and smiles. I felt...warm. What was this feeling? It’s weird. I have never experienced this before. I don’t know if I want to throw this feeling away or like it. But I promised myself that I wouldn’t get involved with anyone. I may be an asshole, but I would NEVER want anyone to join a gang. Especially my person.
Throughout the day I kept my eye on Levi. I don’t know why I did, but it was just something I found myself doing. The gang and I were chilling on the stands by the football field.
-Ugh! I just want school to finish already! I can’t take it anymore.
Eren says. He was fairly new to the gang, after I found him beating up a kid in an alleyway I recruited him. He’s super hyper and gets worked up easily so he was a good asset to us.
-and I can’t take you complaining anymore.
Jean shoots back. Jean and Eren almost never got along. But I kept them in line.
-both of you shut up.
My right hand woman says. Mikasa. She matched me in strength, but she never dared put me off. We all knew that Jean had a crush on Mikasa, but he never had the balls to say anything. I ignored them and kept my eyes on the boy on the first stand. He was with Hange and Isabel, I take it he was watching Erwin and Farlan train.
-what do you say, Y/n?
Eren asks me. I look at him after a while.
-say what?
I ask.
-you seem to be staring an awful lot lately. Who caught our oh so powerful leader’s eyes?
Eren hops down to where I’m sitting.
-shut up.
I tell him and look back at the field. Eren follows my eyes.
-oh is it Erwin? I’m not gonna lie, he is hot.
-Gay much, Eren?
Jean says as he sits next to me.
-fuck off, horse face.
I don’t care for their conversation and sneak glances at Levi. He seems to be quiet most of the time, since Isabel and Hange talk his ears off. I feel my pocket and I feel the handkerchief. I’m not giving it back. It’s mine now. I seem to be daydreaming again because Jean keeps talking to me.
-what do you want?
I ask him harshly.
-I just want to know if you’re going to homecoming next month.
I scoff and turn my face back to the field.
-of course I am. There’s a lot of things I want to ruin on that night. Oh and by the way guys, home time I want to key my physics teacher’s car. He’s been acting like a bitch and I want to teach him a lesson.
Jean and Eren scream,” HELL YEAH!”, and that caused some people to look at us. That good for that because I caught Levi’s attention. He turns and looks at me. I smile and wink at him. He widens his eyes and turns around. I love fucking around with him.
Hometime rolls in and we go out to the car park and look for my teacher’s car. Luckily, the son of a bitch didn’t park where the cameras were so I pull out my key and so did the others and run it down the bonnet of the car. I run it through the driver’s door moving it to the back. Mikasa took the boot and the boys took the roof and passenger side. After our masterpiece we heard:
-HEY YOU BRATS! STOP THAT.
My physics teacher yells. We look and laugh and made a run for it. We ran to our bikes and took off. Laughing. We drove past the gate and everyone was cheering for us as well. I saw Levi. I once again winked at him and rode away. “Maybe I should mess around with him. What could go wrong?”
Little did I know, a whole lot would go wrong.
Chapter Two
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katierosefun · 4 years ago
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so after one really big latte, a muffin, a run which resulted in a near accident with an oncoming car, and a shower in which i contemplated my own mortality, here’s my thoughts on the adorable me & au podcast, because babe wake up new hyperfixation dropped. very spoiler-y, i’m sorry in advance for how f*cking long this is, this might only have like two people reading this but i have many thoughts please listen to this podcast because it’s so cute and i listened to it all in about 2.5 hours? 
- firstly: the main character is super relatable. like, scary relatable. meet kate “acunningplan” cunningham, a gal about to enter her senior year of college and just kinda,,,lost. she works as a barista and very confused, very...stuck gal by day, fic writer (and still very stuck gal) by.........not barista hours. 
- honestly, i love kate. idk i’m about to enter my senior year of college, and bro i related so hard to her fears of “bro i can’t even think about next week without feeling overwhelmed”. she misses her best friend whitney a lot, who is currently on the other side of the country for an impressive internship. so that can be kinda lonely. 
- but fear not, kate has an escape, like so many other fic writers/fandom people: fanfic. this whole story references tumblr without actually naming tumblr (let’s be real....it’s tumblr, from the “notes” to “this stupid app keeps crashing”), and kate follows this tv show about werewolves and supernatural creatures. very gay. only problem is that there’s not a whole ton of people active in the fandom, since this show is relatively new. 
- however, in this small fandom, kate meets ella: otherwise known as “hella-enchanted”, who is another fic writer. 
- kate is very obsessed with the idea of alternate universes, and for that alone, i love her.
- okay, so even if you’ve never fallen in love with a person online/in fandom circles, i just wanna say that ella and kate’s interactions are still so super relatable. the shooting messages, the starting random conversations and getting a little thrill when you see someone liking your personal post or whatever. it’s very wholesome. 
- also, at the end of episode 1, kate goes on about how “yeah, fanfic is kinda odd, but it led me...to you” and it was so soft and gentle you just know your heart is gonna melt huh 
- at one point, kate decides to be vulnerable via vent post about something that came up on the show (and oh god yeah i feel...things. kate relates very hard to one character in the tv show she’s following, and tbh,,,yeah. i can’t quite word it right now, but i think anyone who feels kinda.....stuck? would relate.) 
- the “EXACTLY ONE PERSON ASKED FOR THIS ESSAY SO HERE IT IS” please
- also oh :’)))) kate talks about ella’s playlists and when i tell you i squeaked a little bit because oh hey--
- anyways lol yes can you relate to like,,,posting a vent post and forgetting to delete it and being mildly horrified (but also mildly touched) when someone actually responds?
- ella’s very sweet, just responds with “seems like one of my favorite fandom people needed a pick-me-up” and :’))) i would die for ella! (i mean, i would die for all the characters) 
- okay yes also all the bits where ella and kate scream at each other about fic. very relatable, very real, you can tell that the writers of this podcast really knew this feeling, and i just :’)))
- THE TWO DEBATE OVER TITLES,,,,,kate keeps sending in crack-y titles and also song lyrics, and ella comments on “well,,,i just read this whole wikipedia page, so i think i’ve lost the high ground”, so if y’all KNOW i started laughing at that 
- also LMAOOOO the moment when conversation diverts from fic and fandom to slightly more personal things! kate being like “oh,,,,,you have an actual job! like,,,you’re an actual adult and.....how’s that?” and then quickly rambling on via message “actually let me change the topic because that’s probably too personal”...
- okay so there’s this bit where ella drops the fact that she’s never read anne of green gables because “listen,,,,you have an ex-girlfriend who sang the anne of green gables musical all the time--” and kate’s “.......ex-girlfriend? you had an ex-girlfriend? girl--” (and BACKSPACING ALL OF THAT because “god i’m such a freak”) 
- much gay disaster
- so much gay disaster
- opportunity for kate and ella to meet irl comes up! at a fan convention! in toronto! (and kate lives in bc). kate’s best friend (remember, internship one?) invited kate over to toronto for this thing anyways, and then ella posts something about “heeeey i’m gonna be in the area so if anyone wants to meet up for the fan convention...” 
- let me just say......kate chucking her phone across the room because she freaked out about that. again. very cool, very nicely done, very relatable, etc. 
- ALSO,,,,i forget if this was one of kate or ella’s fics or if it was the actual tv show, but there’s this tidbit where the characters in the literal fandom has this conversation: 
“don’t waste your time.” 
“what?” 
“don’t waste your time on me.” 
and the way that reflects kate’s feelings-but-she’s-not-trying-to-think-about-it for ella please let me just die here
- okay, so kate does decide to message ella about the meet-up, and let me just tell you, kate’s inner monologue about the worst possibilities for ella’s responses: 
“1. no response. which is terrible. 
2. you find out you’re not wanted after all. :(((((
3. the most terrifying response of all.......” (an enthusiastic “yes i’m so glad we can meet up!!!”) 
- well, of course ella responds with #3. 
- gay disaster kate not knowing how to acknowledge her feelings for ella...she goes on this “you don’t wanna come across as....y’know because if they suspect that....y’know.....and like, i don’t....y’know--” oh my god kate 
- anyways, kate works at a coffeeshop, right? and her co-worker stewart (nonbinary pansexual co-worker! we love to see the rep!!) being like “oh yeah maybe you can bring over your friend!” and kate panicking because “ohhhhh i’m not too sure about that,,,,she’s,,,,,,,,,busy......” (ie. the awkward moment of having to explain that,,,,,,your online friend isn’t exactly someone you’ve met in real life,,,,,,,,and not sure exactly how to explain that so you just,,,,,,“ohhhh uhhh......y’know...............it’s really hard to.......get her out of.....work.....” 
- kate and ella video-chatting for the first time is very cute, very gay. very gay. 
- they swap “how’d you know you were gay / liked girls” stories :’))) 
- “that’s a cute story!” “you’re a cute story” [awkward silence] “please let me hide under the desk now” (have i mentioned that kate’s  a disaster? i love her, but you’re a disaster. we need to be best friends.)
- kate.....describing herself as “irl fanfic disaster waiting to happen” and the whole “i didn’t know we were actually dating until she asked if she could kiss me” lmaoooooooooo (but okay yes this is also a mood? like,,,,,,idk something about heteronormative standards so like,,,,,it’s so stupidly hard to figure out if a girl is flirting with you or if they’re just being nice i am glad kate’s such a disaster) 
- in other news: kate’s “how tf do i write a kiss scene i don’t like the word lips ughhhhHHHHH” (yeah, mood kate) 
- lmao stewart (kate’s co-worker!) just chilling with kate and being like “oh yeah i figured you had a girlfriend? the one you’re talking about? ella?” and kate blanking because “wait you thought ella was my girlfriend? she’s not....uhhh....” and then later drinking with stewart and rambling about ella and panicking because “what if she realizes i can’t talk about anything except this tv show what if she thinks i laugh too loud what if i have horrific body odor what if she realizes i have NOTHING to say what if our meeting goes SO terribly that i need to deactivate and change my name just so i could like her posts at 3 am” and then her small “please forget i said any of that” 
- oh kate :(((( 
- kate :((((((
- k a t e :(((((((((((((((((((
- anyways, kate does go to toronto. 
- meets ella. 
- very cute. 
- ella...........very gay. they go into a coffeeshop and kate doesn’t know what to do. 
- okay but what’s hilarious is that ella,,,,,seems so cool and suave and i too would be kind of intimidated by her but then these two idiots really talk about writing kissing scenes and the build-up and ella’s voice gets all,,,,,,suggestive and there’s this.....awkward gay silence between the two oh my GOD they’re both IDIOTS 
- also okay yes kate and whitney, a irl friend, having a heart-to-heart. good. we love that. also, whitney being like “I MISSED YOU!!! YOU IDIOT!!!! and i’m glad you have a new friend, and you’re happy, but I MISSED YOU!!! I HATE THIS CITY AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING!!!” (whitney is also very relatable. ily whitney.) 
- they’re so cute. they hug, and it’s sweet :’)) also, then kate says in a stupidly small voice “i think i’m....kinda in love with [ella]?” and whitney being best supportive friend-- 
- OKAY so we finally get an episode of ella’s perspective 
- listen, you’re gonna think ella’s this cool, suave person who has all her own gayness put together (i mean, she kinda knew since she was 9 or 10 years old? she’s had a girlfriend? she seems like she has her life together? she’s waiting to get into grad school? she has a job? she just seems....cool and knows what she’s doing). 
- but then you realize. ella is just as much a pining mess. (her bullet point list/schedule in her head is so relatable. as someone who uses her notes and reminders app religiously, that was just :’))) 
- ella: reasons why this is not a date. and then....kate sends a message. (ella: reason why this....might be a date....kate keeps saying stuff like...that.) 
- kate rehearsing how to tell ella that she maybe kinda likes her? very cute. (”you know the feeling in your chest when....uh, you know when you feel like you have a frog in your stomach--oh god not the frog NOT the frog”) 
- the love confession is very cute, and also very relatable. “i like you a lot” “i like you too!” “no i mean,,,,like i like you. wait. which like do you mean? wait that’s not english. uh. what did you say?” 
- kate’s “I HAD A WHOLE DRAMATIC FANFIC CONFESSION PLANNED OUT” 
- kate and ella just spilling everything made me :’))) 
- “i like how your brain works” “i made so many posts hoping that you would just talk to me” “you always make me laugh” “you just make me feel...better” “you make me smile” 
- “this whole summer you’ve been making me smile and i guess it kind of freaked me out? ...i don’t know where my life is going but if i have a choice, i want to go in any direction you’re going because you are cute and smart and amazing and i like you a lot, ella. like that. so yeah. that’s what i was thinking i’d say.” 
- i essentially explaine dthe whole plot but 
- i love this podcast a lot
- it was very sweet
- and very cute
- very wlw 
- i don’t even mind that i almost got hit by a car while i was running and listening to this it was worth it 
- idk. just like. anyone who’s ever read or written fic or just like...not necessarily fallen in love with another person? but at least relating to that feeling of “oh god i am not qualified to talk to this person” and “oh god what if they realize i’m actually,,,,a loser” and “oh god wait how to friend” can probably hit a lot of people
- but that said. the romance was very cute, very sweet, makes me :’))) 
- okay i’ll stop talking now but i just. it’s very cute, very relatable, i wish we had a season 2 but i think it’s a limited series. (but they’re living rent free in my head! forever!)
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newcaptainofsquad9 · 4 years ago
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Not So Korean Drama~Park Sooyoung(Joy) x black!fem!reader
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Pairing: Sooyoung/Joy x reader
Genre: Romance, Comedy(not really), College AU, Fluff
Summary: The it girl on campus, acting major and international student, Park Sooyoung  is all you can think about. You aren’t the only one, every person has a huge crush on her too. You want to ask her out, yet in the back of your mind you know everything about it would be unconventional.
  Warnings: Anxiety, Mentions of bi-phobia (nothing major), Mentions of Microaggressions 
Word Count: 4,206
Author’s Note: Here’s some Red Velvet, I also decided to write more black readers because I want to write more for black women like me. Also I know this is very niche so I hope you guys enjoy it regardless if you identify with the main character or not. Hope you guys enjoy!
Sometimes I see this mediocre, yet funny life of mine as a television show. A world where I’m surrounded by so many generic people, well they aren’t really generic, just similar to one another. That’s usually how it goes at La Rouge University , or as most of the students of color call it, La PWI. It’s weird though, I don’t really fit in with the other black students either, nothing against them but I’m just more on the nerdy side. I know that doesn’t make me unique, but there aren’t a lot of nerdy black girls on campus. The only one I found was Brianna, who was close to Wendy and Yeri. I found my band of friends but Wendy can be a bit insensitive at times. That’s one of the reasons why I keep my budding crush on Sooyoung. Where can I begin about Park SooYoung? There’s so much about her that draws me towards her, well regardless of her sense of style, straight black hair and the ability to pull off any lipstick color. 
“Um, earth to Y/N?” Brianna asks. 
I blink up from my book, a page that I clearly checked out from. I totally forgot we were in the library of all places, whoops. Of course Brianna’s holding a smug grin while she taps Yeri. 
“Look, Y/N’s lost in thinking about Sooyoung’s eyes,” she teases.
Yeri giggles as she takes Brianna’s hand tightly. 
“I know right, I don’t know why you don’t just ask her out already,” Yeri says. 
I cringe at how loud she said it as Wendy approaches our table with her usual blue sweatshirt, tan pants and bag slung across her shoulder. She must have gotten from her English class since she’s clutching her literature book for dear life.     
“Who’s asking who out?” she asks as she pulls up a seat. 
“Um, no one,” I say quickly. 
Wendy throws a deadpan look my way. 
“It’s gotta be about you Y/N,” Wendy notes. “You’re the single person at the table and if Bri and Yeri were cheating on each other I’m sure they wouldn’t discuss it in front of each other.”
Both Brianna and Yeri shrug as they link arms and kiss each others cheeks. 
“You haven’t found someone else, have you babe?”Yeri whines. 
Brianna nuzzles against her cheek. 
“You know I haven’t jagi,” Brianna coos. 
Yeri giggles at the pet name she taught Bri, earning a kiss on her lips. They’re cute, teeth rottenly so, but I always wonder how they got together. Of course they’re in the same major and have an obsession with Boba tea but what about their obvious racial differences, with Yeri being Korean and all. I’m curious but then again, it’s not my place to ask. It’s their relationship. 
“So, are you gonna tell me who it is?” Wendy asks while she pokes me with the end of her pen.
“Nobody,” I say.“None of your concern.”
Wendy pouts as her pokes grow faster. 
“Ah come on! You were fine with telling Yeri and Bri about it!” she groans.
“Yeah, but you’ll just kill the vibe,” I explain, “plus you know them so.”
Wendy gasps. 
“Really? Ah! So it won’t be hard to guess!” she says.“Is it Minseok from the Starbucks?”
Yeri giggles. 
“Uh, it isn’t a he, Wendy.”
Wendy blinks at Yeri’s statement as I send a Brianna a knowing glare. She nods and pats my hand. 
“Oh, I didn’t know you were into women, Y/N,” Wendy says. 
“Yeah, but I’m still into men too Wendy,” I say. “But yes, this crush is on a woman.”
“Oh ok,” Wendy says. “I didn’t know that was your thing but ok.”
I hold back my words, but Brianna doesn’t. Thank God.
“And what’s that supposed to mean Wendy?” she asks.
Yeri pinches the bridge of her nose as Wendy glances at each of us in confusion.
“What?” she asks.“Aw, did I overstep again?”
I nod sharply when Brianna scoffs. 
“Took a giant step over the line,” I say. “I’m bi.”
Wendy’s eyes soften. 
“I-I’m sorry Y/N,” she says. “I hadn’t realized and you never talked about it with us.”
“It’s fine,” I tell her with a pat of her hand. 
“So,” Yeri says, breaking the tension.“When are you going to ask her out?”
Fortunately Wendy’s all smiles again, yet she goes to asking me again.
“So, who is she? Oh! is it-”
I don’t even register who Wendy’s talking about as my focus shifts towards the entrance of the library. The double doors slide open, slowly (maybe its my hyperactive mind) and steps in the woman herself. Park Sooyoung. Of course she’d step in now of all times with her stylish tan trench coat, white turtle neck and dark skinny jeans. Just like in the TV shows she brushes a strand of hair behind her ear. Ok it is my hyperactive imagination, she’s even walking this way. Shit, no that’s actually happening. Wendy pokes me again. 
“Y/N? Oh!” she gasps, realizing. 
Sooyoung steps up to our table with a tiny smile and a wave. 
“Hi Wendy, Yeri,” she greets.
Her attention shifts over to Brianna and I. Me. Park Sooyoung is looking at me. 
“Oh! This is Y/N,” Yeri says as she squeezes Brianna’s hand. “And this is my girlfriend, Brianna.”
Sooyoung grins, flashing a few of her teeth as she bows slightly, reaching for Brianna’s hand, shaking it then holding it out to me. I. My skin flares as my words begin to disperse. 
“Nice to meet you,” Sooyoung says. “Brianna. Y/N.”
Her attention is back on me, her eyebrow raised as she notices that I haven’t taken her hand yet. I grip it quickly and shake it just as swift.
“N-Nice to, meetyoutoo!” I manage to blurt out. 
Sooyoung turns back to Wendy. 
“I just wanted to ask if Professor Philip put the PowerPoint online,” she says. “I had to miss lecture today because of rehearsals.”
Wendy waves her off. 
“You’re in the clear,” Wendy reassures. “He’s going over it again next class.”
Sooyoung releases a breath of relief, another smile engulfing her striking features yet again. 
“Thank you Wendy,” she says.
It’s as if the entire library started to notice Sooyoung, guys start to pop up that I don’t even know. I know one of them, Jackson Wang, a friend of mine, we aren’t close, yet I didn’t know he knew Sooyoung.  
“Yo Y/N!” he greets. “Bri, Yeri, Wendy!” 
He then turns back to Sooyoung.
“We should get going,” he says. “JB and Bam Bam are waiting.”
“Ah, you’re right!” Sooyoung exclaims. “It was nice meeting you both, see you guys around!” 
And just like that Sooyoung’s gone and around the corner with Jackson flanking her. Are they a thing? Last time I checked Jackson was endlessly flirting with Namjoon, the library’s part time receptionist and full time genius. I’ve confided in Jackson about my sexuality before, but I’ve never talked to him about Sooyoung. Oh God, they must be dating.
“Y/N, Y/N you still there?” Yeri asks.
I turn my attention back to the table. Brianna holds a shit eating grin as always, Yeri tries to stifle a laugh while Wendy narrows her eyes at me.
“Sooyoung,” she says. “You have a crush on Park Sooyoung.”
“Not just a crush,” Brianna notes. “A school girl crush, I know you saw how nervous Y/N got. She could barely speak.”
I hunker down further in my seat as my face flares again.
“Shut up,” I groan. 
Wendy giggles. 
“It’s cute Y/N, but I’m not sure if Sooyoung’s-” she pauses prior to continuing. “You know.”
I get an uneasy tingle from Wendy’s words. She’s right, what if she isn’t into women. What if she doesn’t like black people? Another stab that would hurt more.
“What Wendy?” Yeri asks. “Gay or Bi? it’s ok, you can say it.”
Wendy frowns. 
“Guys, I don’t mean to come off like that,” she groans. “I just don’t want her to get hurt. Sooyoung hasn’t been here in the states for a while, I’m not sure if she’s-accepting.”       
“Well if she’s hanging out with Jackson, who’s big bi energy by the way,” Brianna explains. “She’s got to be somewhat accepting.”
Yeri’s eyes soften at me as she reaches for my hand.
“That doesn’t mean you should give up,” she says. “Just talk to her.”
I slip further down into my seat, it’s easier said than done. Sooyoung’s an international student which means she only hangs out with other international students. I only know two of them: Wendy, born in South Korea but studied in Canada prior to moving here and Jackson who moved here from China on a football scholarship.  They’re friends of course, but even they blow me out of the water with their style and the looks they get from students. Sooyoung especially. 
“I guess, ah look at that!” I say while getting out of my seat. “I got class in ten.”
Brianna grins. 
“Your class doesn’t start until 3:30, it’s only 3:05.”
I nod with a quick smile.
“I know!” I say. “I just need to get away from this conversation. Talk to you guys later!”
I’m out and away from the table before they can utter a goodbye.
***
Class was dull as usual. Thankfully it ended before my eyes glazed over and I can grab some dinner before heading back to my dorm. The classroom empty's out quickly, I rush to the exit of the building, ready for that cool air to hit me. 
“Ey! Y/N!” a booming voice calls.
I turn to see Jackson. He’s clad in his black and red Letterman jacket with the letters L and R embroidered on the front. His hair’s also gelled back to perfection, it looks awesome might I add. 
“Hey Jackson,” I say. “What’s up?”
I slow my pace for him to catch up with me from down the hall. The cool air hits my face, I sigh, then turn to Jackson, who’s already behind me as I hold the door for him. 
“Thanks,” he says as he stuffs his hands into the pockets of his jacket. “You done with classes for today, right?”
I nod sharply. 
“Yep, you?”
Jackson chuckles.
“You know I don’’t have classes on Thursday,” he notes. 
I roll my eyes. If I didn’t I wouldn’t have asked. That’s what I want to say, but I restrain. I find myself doing that a lot here at La Rouge University. Don’t want to come across as that kind of black girl. Sure, Jackson and I are cool, I just don’t want him to put a thought into his head. I’m sure he’s seen many stereotypes of black women, black people in general. I don’t want to put that risk out, especially when Brianna and I have to had many talks with Wendy about it.       
“Hey,” Jackson says softly. “You good?”
I blink up at him as we stroll through the courtyard with the wind nipping at our skin. 
“Yeah, uh, I’m fine.”
Jackson smirks and leans closer to throw an arm around my shoulder. 
“So, Miss Y/LN,” he starts. “Tell me, how long has your little crush been a thing?”
I jolt at his words.
“Huh? C-crush? Nah, uh what do you mean a crush?”
Jackson chuckles and bats his eyes jokingly. 
“Don’t play coy!” he exclaims. “You looked like you were going to pass out around Sooyoung.”
My skin burns at his words. I wasn’t that obvious, was I?
“I-I, um, Sooyoung, who? Never heard of her.”
“Sure Jan.”
“When the hell did you watch the Brady Bunch?” I ask.
Jackson shrugs.
“I watched it with Yeri last weekend, you should have came over. I heard its a major part of American slang and memes which are hilarious.”
I nod in agreement. 
“Yeah, let’s discuss memes instead of Park Sooyoung oh-”
Jackson jabs his finger at me.
“You even know her last name, ha!” Jackson says. “You’re totally crushing right now.”
I sigh in defeat. 
“Fine, yes I like her all right. It’s not a big deal anyway.”
Jackson frowns. 
“It totally is,” he says. “Sooyoung and I are friends, along with classmates. I even know her schedule, for class and drama rehearsals.”
“Oh nice,” I say.
“I know that she’s free right now. Chilling at Reveluv Cafe, going over her lines, drinking some coffee or what not, looking stunning.”
I flush and cross my arms. 
“Yeah, probably flocked by drooling people,” I say. “She’s too stunning for her own good.”
“Yes, but unlike those drooling losers you’re going to talk to her.”
“I’m sorry, what? Jackson, no way,” I say. “She’s an actress, didn’t she act in a couple of K dramas?”
Jackson nods.
“Four actually,” he clarifies. “The first three were cameos, but the latest one she played a huge supporting role, over shadowed the male and female leads.”
“That doesn’t make my situation any better,” I deadpan. “she’s got status in her home country, gorgeous features and a promising career ahead of her. What the hell do I have?”
Jackson’s arm tightens around me.
“You’re sweet, pretty and nice to talk to,” he says. “You also have a career ahead of you crazy, that’s why you’re studying remember?” 
“You’re a friend,” I groan. “You’re inclined to say that.”
“Yeah, but even before we became friends, I always found you hot,” he admits.
I elbow him playfully in the ribs.
“Jackson Wang! Stop playing!” 
Jackson shakes his head.
“I’m dead serious, black women are sexy. And you definitely aren’t the exception.”
“Stop!” I laugh and playfully push him away. 
“What?” he chuckles. “look I know you find Asian guys attractive too! And I know good and well you like Asian women.”
He narrows his eyes and wiggles his eyebrows.
My face heats up as we enter the library for the second time today.
“Is there anything I can do to make you stop?” I joke.
Jackson nods.
“Talk to Sooyoung,” he suggests. “Hey, I can help! Start the conversation!”
I just stare at him as he puts his hands together. 
“Please?”
“Fine.”
***
Reveluv cafe is bright, a little too colorful for my taste, but still homey and comforting. The walls are covered in various fruits, some hand drawn and neon to bring, I guess variety. It’s cute. Even the floor is bright red, leading up to the counter that’s decorated with other tropical themes, the employees even wear sashes and white uniforms with fruit based buttons.
Jackson leads me to the lounging area of the cafe which has an area of circular tables and higher tables near the windows. Sitting at one in the corner at the far back is Sooyoung, her straight hair spills down her cream colored turtle neck. Her head’s down in a book, she’s transfixed on the page. 
“Jackson, maybe we shouldn’t-”
“Sooyoung, hey!”
Damnit Jackson.
Sooyoung’s head jerks up as a soft smile graces her lips. 
“Jackson, hi!”
I watch from behind Jackson. He walks up to Sooyoung, she stands and engulfs him in a hug. 
“How are lines going?” 
Sooyoung giggles.
“Great so far! What brings you and-” she pauses to look at me. “Hi, Y/N, right?”
I nod sharply. God, she remembered my name.  
“Yeah, hi Sooyoung.”
Jackson smirks with a knowing glare at me. Hasn’t this man clowned me enough?
“Y/N here was just nervous to speak to you.”
My hands start to tremble as Sooyoung looks to me with confusion.
“Why?” she asks. “You’re friends with Wendy and Yeri, so by default I think you’re cool.”
Wow. Park Sooyoung just called me cool. 
“Oh, she is,” Jackson declares. His mouth opens to say more, yet a slight buzz in his pocket stops him. 
“What is it?”
Jackson takes a look at his phone quickly before grinning back up at me, then Sooyoung.
“Sorry ladies, I kind of have a study date with Mr. IQ 148!” 
Sooyoung’s brows furrow. 
“Um, who?”
“Namjoon,” I say. “Jackson! Ah!”
I take his arm and whisper.
“You can’t leave yet,” I groan. 
Jackson pats my arm. 
“You got this babe, I promise to give you all the details with Namjoon if you give me the details you get with Sooyoung.”
God, this man is incorrigible.
“If I fuck this up you owe me so many smoothies.”
Jackson chuckles.
“You got to try first sweetie, she’s cool, you’ll see.”
Jackson says a quick goodbye to the both of us.
I turn back to Sooyoung who’s looking dead at me with her hands behind her back. 
“Would you like to sit?” she asks with another bright smile.
“Yeah, uh sure.”
She gestures to the empty seat across from her, I slide into it quickly, Sooyoung follows. 
“So, are you an English major like Wendy?”
I shake my head. 
“No, actually I’m a creative writing major.”
Sooyoung’s face lit up as she took a swig of her coffee.
“Really? So, you write your own books and stories?”
I nod, and try to hide a smile behind my hand. Her attention is fully on me. 
“Yeah, but mostly poems though,” I say, pausing once I meet Sooyoung’s eyes. I don’t finish, God I can hardly face her. If Jackson can see it than its got to be obvious to her.
“Y/N?” she asks. “Are you ok?”
“Y-Yeah, I-I I just-”
Sooyoung’s eyes soften as she takes my hand, which is already starting to get clammy and sweaty. 
“It’s ok, breathe,” she coaxes. “Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?”
I giggle, the action eases some of the anxiety. My heart rate goes down a bit, just a bit because Sooyoung’s hands are still over mine.
“I-I guess not to judge me, or freak out even,” I say. “I know we’re different, ok. And we’re both women.”
Sooyoung giggles, teeth baring rather sweetly.
“You’re cute,” she coos. “Yes, you’re American and-”
“Black,” I blurt. 
Sooyoung nods.
“Oh, I didn’t even notice,” Sooyoung jokes. She raises our interlocked hands together drawing my attention to my brown hand and her lighter, almost porcelain one. “Why? Is that an issue? Is that what’s making you so nervous?”
“Part of it, the truth is, I like you,” I admit. 
Sooyoung’s eyes widen, forcing me to pull my hand away from her own. She draws back to as she tucks a piece of her hair behind her ear. My trembles don’t die down, but the flaring in my chest does. I nod as my eyes travel down to the table, I can’t look at Sooyoung right now. Of course I made a fool of myself.
“I uh, I can leave you alone now-”
“Wait, Y/N!”
She grabs my wrist before I can get up, it startles me. 
Our eyes meet again, Sooyoung giggles, the confidence she oozes makes me glance down at the legs of her chair. 
“Can I admit something too?” 
I nod, she then sighs lowly. 
“Can you look at me? Y/N?” 
Before I can register her question warm fingers juts my chin up, forcing my attention on her face. She smiles and I swear her eyes lingers down at my lips for a moment prior to moving back up to my eyes. 
“I’m flattered,” she whispers. “You’re really pretty, I’d love to go out. Maybe next week, if that’s ok?”
“I, um, yeah,” I mutter. “I-I’m looking forward to it.”
***
Weeks come and go. The teasing from Jackson, Brianna, Yeri, even Wendy (surprisingly) continues as the dates with Sooyoung get frequent. We’ve start to hold hands even, which is a huge step for me (Sooyoung initiated it first of course).  Dating Sooyoung has been surprising to say the least, she’s even more flirty now that we know more about each other, which makes me more anxious to be around her now. It’s fun to be around her, she’s interested in aspects of American culture that she doesn’t know much about. One in particular being memes, thanks to Jackson himself and even slang. It rubs me the wrong way to hear her say, ‘sup sweetie’ at times but she’s still learning. Right? I’m just thinking too much into it. I’m sure she won’t start talking black and Jackson learned not to from me, along with a quick, yet needed scolding from Brianna.  
 I arrive at Sooyoung’s apartment a sweaty mess. This is the first time I’ve been to her apartment and I already feel like I’m gonna mess this up. She talked about living with someone, but what I didn’t expect was a stunning woman with straight, blonde hair to answer the door. I don’t remember seeing her around campus, I’m sure the people would flock to her as much as they flock to Sooyoung too. 
“Hi, uh,” I pause at how intimating she looks. “I-I’m uh, Sooyoung invited me.”
The woman chuckles as she gives me a quick once over. 
“You must be Y/N,” she notes. “Come in.”  
She steps aside for me which I do. 
The house looks like a loft inside: a low, white couch sits in the middle of the living room, a flat screen hugs the far wall, the carpet is clear and fluffy covering most of the floor, leading to the staircase. 
“Joohyun!” Sooyoung calls while rushing down the stairs. “Y-Y/N, hi.”
I give her a tiny wave as Joohyun chuckles. 
“Well, I’ll leave you to your date,” Joohyun says with a quick wink at me and a narrow eyed glare at Sooyoung. 
“How long are gonna be out unnie?” Sooyoung asks. 
Joohyun giggles and raises an eyebrow.
“Why?” she asks. “You both aren’t going to have too much fun, are you?”
My eyes scan down to the carpet to memorize how spotless it is. 
“Joohyun! Y-You’re so embarrassing!” Sooyoung exclaims. I see her black sock covered feet next to mine. 
“All jokes Sooyoung,” Joohyun explains. “I’ll be staying at Seulgi’s tonight. It was a pleasure meeting you Y/N.”
“Same here,” I say. 
When I meet Joohyun’s eyes her intimating demeanor disperses. An easy, toothy smile now replaces it. Once she waves and is out the door, Sooyoung’s hands are on my face. 
“I’m so sorry about her,” she groans. “She didn’t frighten you too much, did she?”
“Not really,” I admit. “Does she always do this to people she doesn’t know?”
Sooyoung giggles.
“Yeah, she’s just protective is all,” she explains. “Now, would you like to watch the show here in the living room or.”
She steps up to rest her hands on my sides. 
“My room could work, I have plenty of stuffed animals,” she suggests. “We could cuddle.”
She smiles, my heart flutters as she intertwines our hands together. I lose my breathe as she steps closer, our faces suddenly an inch apart. She’s using a bright, red lipstick, perfect at this distance. Kissabl-
“Can I kiss you?” she asks.
I nod, she tilts her head to the right before our lips meet. Her lips are smooth, with a cherry taste. I didn’t even know lipstick could taste this good. She smiles against my lips, her hands wind themselves around my waist in order to deepen the kiss. Sooyoung’s fevered kisses keep my lips moving with her, it continues until I run out of breath, forcing me to pull away. 
“How was that?” she asks prior to biting her lip. 
“It was I-”
It takes me a minute to gather my words. I never kissed a woman before and that was-
“Amazing,” I manage to say.  
Sooyoung chuckles lowly, takes my hand and leads me to the couch. 
“Yeah, would it be dope if we continue?” 
I cringe at the word dope, she notices right away.
“What is it? I’m rushing things aren’t I?” she asks.
I shake my head, but think about it for a moment. I want to have this conversation about our different cultures. Of course it’s something we’re got to talk about but why do I feel as if its so awkward? It’s just a few words, right? I just don’t want to come across as that kind of person. That kind of black person especially. 
“Y/N,” Sooyoung says. “Are you ok?” 
“Yeah, it’s just uh,” I pause to finally form coherent words. “Slang, it’s um kind of weird when you say it-not saying that it’s bad or anything its just.”
I pause again to sit next to Sooyoung, who listens intently. 
“It’s your thing, right?” she asks. “As an American?”
“As an African American, as a black person,” I say. “I just don’t want you to use certain terms without knowing where they come from. I’m curious about Korean too, but I want to go by it respectfully. I want to respect you.”
Sooyoung’s eyes lighten up, her fingers play with my right hand as a smile spreads across her face.
“I want to respect you too jagi, ah! To be honest I got most of those words from Jackson anyway.”
I roll my eyes. 
“I’m not even surprised.”
“So, can we still watch the drama?” she asks with a playful frown.
“Of course!”
Sooyoung lets out a delighted giggle, presses a quick kiss to my cheek and moves to turn the flat-screen on. Maybe dating Park Sooyoung wasn’t going to be so difficult after all. 
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poemsfromthealley · 5 years ago
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then don’t make it abt gender? when will this fandom gain enough nuance not to equate mlm to straight men/women in terms of representation and treatment in media? the society already see us as ‘women’ or ‘not real men’, so we don’t need it being reinforced in media! does the show give its straight male characters a ‘female’ type of narratives? no. straights (men and women alike) get to slay, save the day, and be heroic, while alec only gets to do emotional struggles and relationship stuff. gay
(cont) characters are only ever allowed to exist within coming out narratives, HIV/AIDS stories, relationship dramas, or as gay best friends and comic reliefs. what they never get to have is being heroes the same way straights do. and alec is not exception to that. he isn’t even allowed to really succeed in anything the way everyone else does. hell, even his coming out story was invalidated bc the show needed to hype up lydia’s ‘heroism’ and homophobia apparently does not exist in the shadow world.
(cont) anyway, you love alec being a prop in plots designed to show other’s heroism? That’s cool but for goodness sake don’t pretend it’s oh so progressive or good
For context, anon refers to this twitter thread I wrote last night.
Okay, anon, slow your roll (and/or troll).
I was gonna answer your first ask in good faith but you’ve saved me the trouble.
As far as I can see, you have a fully formed problem here and you want me to either agree summarily or argue with you so you can continue jumping to conclusions about me, my orientation, my tastes in fiction, and why and how I love Alec Lightwood.
I’m sorry he’s not the kind of gay representation you want. For me he is immensely valuable because he is emotionally open and rash, because he loves people fiercely, because, though you seem to have completely overlooked that I said this, his strengths lie both in action and in building community and in trying to make it better. In no way do I think this makes Alec weak or less wonderful. I appreciate diplomatic ability and compassion in characters of all genders and orientations. Solitary action hero types tend to bore me.
When I say that Alec’s storyline is one that would more typically be given to a female character, that’s not a (negative) value judgment on my end. I’m observing on a general narrative tendency. I recognise that gay men face discrimination and have their masculinity questioned by society, but it’s also important to break down that narrow mould of how a man is allowed to be. That was my point. I do not enjoy the idea of specific narratives being gendered.
Plus, Jace, our manly action hero type, caps his arc by learning to open up about his feelings and support his family and love his girlfriend. So singling out Alec as spending time on pointless emotional growth feels, uh… maybe there is a larger theme of this in this show?
We have a very profound disparity in our approaches here. You hate that Alec has plots tied strongly to others (Magnus, Jace, Izzy) while I like the ensemble aspect. Clary & Jace are inevitably the main focus of the show and disputing that is kind of tilting at windmills. It is what it is. I can be angry about it ‘til I’m blue in the face, so I choose to make the best of it. It doesn’t mean the others don’t get worthy plotlines.
Alec is not remotely only used as a support character. After Clary and Jace, he has the most screentime and the most cohesive narrative—leading the Institute, navigating his newfound relationship, overcoming the political divisions of the Shadow World. (Unlike, say, Izzy, who gets pinballed around depending on what the writers need this week or half-season. But that is a separate topic.) His love story is a big part of his narrative, so why shouldn’t he be present for Magnus, for example?
If you’re looking for an action-oriented queer male protagonist, may I suggest Black Sails and Captain James Flint, played to perfection by Toby Stephens? (Pirate politics and sea battles in the Age of Sail. The series gets pretty dark at times but multiple queer characters get happy/hopeful endings.)
If you’re ready to have a conversation without just deciding how you want me to answer, you can try again. If future messages are in this tenor, they’ll be deleted on sight.
(Also: do not come to me all fandom equates all queer characters to straight characters and there is no nuance when you apparently can’t understand why a queer character finding happiness and opening up to people and building bridges and holding a leadership position and being part of a main ship that the fandom adores might be a valuable thing to see in fiction. If Alec is not what you want, it doesn’t mean he’s not what other people need. Vilifying that experience is not constructive or helpful.)
Thank you.
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artificialqueens · 5 years ago
Text
believe in love (scyvie) - melody
Summary: A small sentence, “I love you” couldn’t come of Scarlet’s mouth - seems like alcohol would do the job for her on that night. In which Scarlet gets drunk and tells Yvie she loves her. read on ao3/ writing blog/ main blog 
A/N: This is kinda of an epilogue for chemistry!scyvie so if you didn’t read (chemistry) you don’t need to - but I’d recommend if you wanna see more of these soft lesbians, and the whole feelings are chemicals!verse if you wanna see a bunch of soft lesbians on general hehe.  Also a (late) birthday gift for zyan (@ Thanks to the anon who requested this on tumblr, to my amazing beta @ artificialmeggie, and to zyan for just existing. 
The way to Scarlet and Yvie’s apartment was usually short; it was nearby the campus so short walking meant more time snuggling each other and being cheesy together. Yvie was foolishly smiling to Scarlet’s passionate emerald eyes mesmerized by the colors in the sky, even if she gave her zero attention, it was a moment she had with her - Scarlet Envy would never let herself look like a fool for a sunset in front of others, but in front of Yvie she seemed to be more loose, to be herself, to not care about the others and to keep her firm, confident stance all the time - it was like Yvie set her free.
Frequenting the Fashion Institute of Technology could be fancy, splendid - in fancy words like the place - challenging, a unique experience, but most of all it was one thing: exhausting. It was finals week, so all they could do was study to pass their exams and finish their projects. Finally Friday came, and they were walking home before the last exam. On that week the walking home time was basically the only time they had together, since all they could do was to study, cry, and stress over everything.
Even if they lived in the same place, if you entered Scarlet and Yvie’s flat you would see Scarlet’s hair messy all over and her tears trying to learn the damn history of fashion, and her girlfriend probably yelling in their room because of her unfinished project - Scarlet knew what that meant for Yvie. It was funny, even if on some of the past days they got to be fond with each other, it was very marked with the stress - but they could always cuddle at night or walk home together watching the sunset, it was their moment, and Scarlet would kill for having it every day.
All that stress made Scarlet look like Regina George, but the college and gay edition - or even worse, who knows? She knew she was the baddest bitch around, and that she didn’t need that mask to be around others, but in many ways she could only let off her guard with Yvie - it was like her girlfriend had some kind of magic on her. Yvie was magnetic, every time they were together she could feel the undeniable chemistry around them, connecting them like an invisible tie - since they met, and now, they were meant to be.
And they survived finals together, and even if it made Scarlet - probably make a lot of people - want to burst into the sun with her excessive confidence around, it helped her.- She had little difficulty in the exams, and she knew Miss Visage loved the dress she sewed - a new thing in the air, since Miss Visage always hated her designs. All of that also thanks to Yvie, for always being there to walk home with her, or to give her random cuddles at night and quick kisses in the morning, even if she knew she was too worried or didn’t have time for that.
Scarlet and Yvie were in that so-called honeymoon period of the relationship, where they rarely had disagreements and fights - they never fought to say it exactly - but also were an immature couple; immature and in love, but they couldn’t say it to each other because that three little words sentence held them back. Saying ‘’I love you’’ was terrifying, even if they felt it they couldn’t say it. Welcome to the honeymoon.
‘’Home sweet home,’’ Yvie sighed when she finally got to the door of their apartment, looking for her keys. ‘’I can’t believe we are at peace now’’
‘’We are, finally.’’ Scarlet let out a laugh. ‘’Finally alone,’’ she joked, like one of those lines people say when they leave their wedding. ‘’Pick me up bridal style, Yvie. Yvie, pretty please?’’
Suddenly Scarlet was in Yvie’s strong arms, smiling convinced. She knew Yvie would do that - that stupid, ridiculous thing Scarlet joked about, it was so dumb yet so cute. It made butterflies say hello to Scarlet’s stomach, imagining how would it be if Yvie was picking her up as her real bride in their real new place.
Yvie placed her on the couch very delicately, with the touch of a feather. Scarlet couldn’t help looking at her, she loved her; it could not be said - not right now, it was too early, they were too immature for such things.
‘’Here you are, Mrs. Oddly, how are you feeling?’’
Scarlet burst in a laugh: ‘’I’d rather take the name ‘Oddly’ than ‘Bridges,’ even if it’s not your real surname.’’
‘’Well, it’s just the mean name people call me for being weird, Yvie Oddly, and now you are weird too, Scarlet Oddly.’’
‘’…Or you can be Yvie Envy’’
‘’Uh, classy! It makes a funny sound when you say it.’’ She took a seat at Scarlet’s side. ‘’We can be weird and envious.’’
‘’It’s not like we are getting married anyways, bitch, we are poor.’’ Scarlet joked, but it was true. She would love to be Yvie’s wife someday, but they were barely in their first year of college, and money was taboo in that house - as broke college students, they didn’t have it.
‘’True true. Damn, do you think it’s too cheesy to think about marriage when we just started dating?’’
‘’Yes, but it’s with me so it’s allowed because honestly, who wouldn’t want to marry this goddess?’’ Scarlet blinked.
Yvie’s soft sigh indicated that she agreed with Scarlet. She told her multiple times she thought it was cute that she was so confident when she knew how soft she was inside. It was incredible how Yvie was so unique, and told her such little intimate things with only a soft sigh, and her hands in her hair, contemplating the little things they had and the big things they could have in the future. Was it love? Scarlet really felt it, but the words never learned how to come out of her mouth; she wondered if in the future, these words would come.
‘’We haven’t been together like this in a while…’’ Yvie kissed her forehead ‘’I was so stressed, I’m sorry.’’
‘’Yvie, you stupid bitch, I-’’ Damn, she was smiling like a fool and ready to say it. ‘’I… I think you don’t need to be sorry, duh. I mean… W-we were both busy bitches, both stressed.’’ She shuddered, trying to disguise the fact that words almost found their way.
‘’Are you okay, Scar?’’
‘’Yes I am, I just don’t like to see you blaming yourself.’’
‘’You surely liked it when I blamed myself for being so dumb over you when we met
‘’It was different!’’ Scarlet stamped her feet. ‘’I was showing you I liked you all that time, and you were like ‘we are gal pals’ and kissed another girl.’’ She pouted.
Their story was very funny to look at, a true cliché to remember. Yvie was looking for a roommate, and Scarlet was very broke, so she rented her place. Not so far ago, they started to live together and fell in love - both of them had crushes on each other - it was pathetically sweet. Yvie was too blind to realize Scarlet’s signs - the girl always was so energetic and confident, she couldn’t bear Yvie seeming to reject her, even if she was just clueless. In the end, they realized they liked each other, and now they weren’t just ‘gal pals’ as Yvie used to say.
Not so long ago, but it seemed like a while. She felt like she could spend all her eternities with Yvie, so the memories from early times seemed to be on another century. Was time a thing anyway? Yvie taught her how to question, so time was fake when they were together. The damn words wanted to come out again, she couldn’t let them. No matter how incredibly magnetic Yvie was, she couldn’t tell her she loved her with all her heart - even in such a short amount of time being in love together, she was in love with her.
Yvie kissed her pout. ‘’I’m not dumb Yvie anymore I promise.’’ She raised her hand. ‘’I solemnly swear to be very gay for Scarlet Envy and realize she is very gay for me.’’
Scarlet cackled so loud, Yvie always knew how to make her laugh.
‘’What do you wanna do tonight, Scar? We need to celebrate the end of finals.’’
‘’Mmm, I would suggest clubbing.’’
‘’I thought you were like an old lady. Old ladies don’t like clubbing,’’ Yvie mocked.
‘’But I’m still eighteen. Shut up, I want alcohol and to dance with my Yvie Yvie all night.’’ Scarlet crossed her arms, pouting again.
‘’God, you are so perfect I can’t even.’’ Yvie laughed.
‘’Are you sure you wanna see me drunk again, Yvie? Last time was…’’
‘’Yes, don’t drink too much, or get in any cat fights, please. I have to take care of baby don’t I?’’
‘’Bold of you to assume I’m the baby, you’re my baby, and my bitch!’’
Yvie shook her head laughing. ‘’Baby, you’re baby.’’
All that cheesiness would normally make Scarlet want to puke, but it was with Yvie, and somehow all of that became original and unique just as she was.
‘’I’m going to shower, baby.’’ Scarlet realized how sweaty she was - thanks to New York’s burning hot sun - and hopped in the shower first before Yvie, but her girlfriend had other plans.
‘’We can save water.’’ Yvie got her towel in her hands as Scarlet gave her a suggestive smile. ‘’Hey! I’m serious, I swear I didn’t-’’
‘’But I did.’’ She smiled.
‘’Nasty!’’
‘’I am!’’ She pressed Yvie against the bathroom door and kissed her lips softly. ‘’And you’re baby.’’
‘’Damn.’’
‘’And my bitch.’’
Yvie couldn’t help laughing, Scarlet didn’t think it was funny for the moment - but with Yvie it was always like this, sweetly unpredictable.
[…]
‘’Do I always need to say you look stunning?’’ Scarlet commented when Yvie entered the living room in a dark red long sleeve short dress and long leather black boots that matched the beret she had in her head. ‘’I never get tired of saying it, gods.’’
It was true, the shades of night that came from their window made Yvie look like a true goddess. The pale moonlight lighting her glowing black eyes, Scarlet always thought they were so expressive, so beautiful - people vangloried blue and green eyes, but black eyes as Yvie’s were a deep ocean in the dark, a night sky full of stars, Scarlet wanted to get lost in them. Her stance was so beautiful, the way her full perfect lips curved in a smile, that girl could take all her ‘’I love yous’’ if she wanted to.
‘’And I’ll say you and your party dress are prettier than all the wonders in the world or some shit.’’
‘’Shut up. I look good as always, but like a basic ho compared to you.’’ Scarlet looked down to her sparkly silver cocktail dress, and matching stilettos - she was glowing like the moon, but the moon was nothing without her night sky.
‘’Bitch, you look so cute, I can’t even- You got me speechless.’’
‘’Oh, okay if you wanna stop being wrong, our Uber arrived.’’
Of all the Uber drivers they ever got, this one was a tragic character. The girl kept whining about a girl she loved to Scarlet and Yvie, telling them how lucky they were to have each other and that none of them got away. Scarlet’s nosy instinct really wanted to ask what happened, but Yvie scolded her with the eyes - considering that their driver was almost crying, it wasn’t the best of the ideas.
It must be such a painful thing to lose somebody you love and live every day with this on your back - the person in your head, the dreams you used to share in the air… She was scared to tell Yvie she loved her, because like that sad Uber driver, she could lose the love of her life.
But now she had another thing to worry about: alcohol. Scarlet loved to drink, she liked the way she got when she was drunk: loose, free. She was about to run to the bar, but Yvie got on her way.
‘’Poor girl, Alaska, should we give her five stars?’’
‘’She’s trying, I wouldn’t know what to do if I lost you.’’ Scarlet let out, and then realized what she just said and covered her mouth ‘’I mean-’’
‘’Shhh, you won’t. Why would you babes?’’ She patted her shoulder.
‘’Mmm, nevermind.’’ She bit her lip, telling Yvie she loved her in that moment would be very… She didn’t want to end up like Alaska anyways.
Nothing was holding her back now to get her first drink and go to the dancefloor. The club lights accentuated her figure, and Yvie’s as well - she looked like a real goddess on the dancefloor. In one instant it was like there was nobody there: just Scarlet and Yvie, dancing together to the blasting music. Scarlet wasn’t the best dancer, she was - in nice words - awkward. But what were judgmental looks when her girlfriend was looking at her and smiling like a fool?
The moves were invented, awkward, and foolish but she was loving every second of it. Yvie knew how to dance, but she was trying to do Scarlet’s moves no matter how dumb they were - which resulted in a laugh. Scarlet realized on her third or fourth drink that she was kind of drunk.
Numbed by the music, letting her body take them, suddenly they looked like one. The club smelled like alcohol and a mix of perfumes, but all she could smell was Yvie’s sweet roses perfume; the lights were blinding, colorful, and a lot of people were there, but all she could see was Yvie; all she could want was Yvie, and no music was sweeter than Yvie’s laugh to Scarlet awkwardly trying to dance.
‘’Go easy,’’ Yvie said ‘’Don’t drink too much.’’ But it was useless, Scarlet had those words in her guts, the three letter sentence was there since the day started and she thought alcohol would help her to not say it. For one moment, Yvie lost control over her girlfriend, now Scarlet was walking in the club, though the crowd, loud music, annoying mix of fragrances, and blinding colorful lights. People were utterly confused by the drunk girl, but all she wanted to do was to awkwardly dance, and forget her love for Yvie trying to escape from her throat.
By her sixth drink, everything was a blur, and she couldn’t even find where Yvie was. She could only hear her voice in the background, loudly yelling her name, looking for her. Scarlet was incapable of following that voice, she knew that she would tell her she loved her if she did.
‘’I found you! Jesus, I said to go easy.’’ And the blur she saw now was very charming… Yvie.
‘’Yvie I-’’ It was coming, drinking was a terrible idea.
‘’Fuck, I said to not drink this much. I was scared worried about you!’’
‘’Sorry baby I- You’re so beautifuuuuul. I’m a loser, loose loser!’’ Words made no sense right now.
‘’No, no drunk babbling this time.’’
‘’When did you became Miss Del Rio, that’s so funny.’’ Scarlet booped her nose. ‘’Oooooold’’
‘’God, let’s go home!’’
Yvie seemed angry and didn’t say anything in the whole way home. Scarlet had this awful feeling that she disappointed her Her head was spinning but the guilt was still there penetrating her mind.
‘’Sorry,’’ Scarlet mumbled in the car, with her head buried in Yvie’s shoulder, tears in the corner of her eyes.
‘’Shhh shhh, it’s okay. I can’t be mad at you! Sorry for acting like bitchy old lady Miss Del Rio.’’ She kissed her forehead. ‘’I just got so worried, you have no idea.’’
‘’I wonder if Adore has to handle that all the time.’’
‘’A lot, babe, a lot, trust me. She parties a lot and Del Rio is… Old.’’
‘’We partieeed, and celebrateeeed!’’
‘’Damn right we did.’’ Yvie laughed, her laugh was music to Scarlet’s ears in that situation.
The elevator was broken, luckily they lived on the second floor and the stairs weren’t too tricky for drunk Scarlet to trip on them.
‘’Careful, careful, it’s just a few stairs we can do it-’’
‘’Yvie, I think I’ll-’’ And she fell. ‘’Ouch!’’
Yvie facepalmed and picked her up: ‘’Bridal style, remember?’’
Scarlet smiled, and as they got in the front door she started to babble - no surprise. But babble about them, about how Yvie was perfect, and about how happy she was; all of that while Yvie looked for her keys, but she couldn’t eye roll when Scarlet was being so cute.
‘’I love you-’’
It came out so naturally, especially with the alcohol. She wanted to say that since the day started and she saw Yvie’s face when she woke up - grumpy, because last exam was there and she wanted more sleep, but lovely. In fact, it seemed to start in the second she saw Yvie sketching in the hallways of college, or when they started to live together, or even in their dumb gay trajectory to get together… It was love, true love, Scarlet loved her so much that it came out so naturally of her mouth. She loved her flaws, her qualities, she wanted to be better with her, to spend her life with her…
But now she was worried. Worried of Yvie leaving, worried of it being too early, worried of ending up crying and drunk. It could be so awkward, it was too early for Yvie to be in love with her too, and it hurt so much. All of that especially because Yvie remained quiet, trying to process what Scarlet just said.
‘’Fuck, Yvie, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t supposed to say it out loud. Sorry, sorry sorry… I’m so fucking dumb I-’’
‘’…Scarlet’’
It hurt so bad.
‘’Please don’t hurt me too much. Be soft okay?’’
‘’No, no, no! You understood everything wrong! I love you too, why would you even think I would hurt you, or leave, or have any negative feelings towards that?’’ Yvie gave her a fond smile and embraced her.
‘’B-because it’s too early?’’
‘’Yes it is, but we lived together even before we started to date! Do you think we know the meaning of waiting? We were talking about how we would change our names get if we got married! I’m literally not surprised, I wanted to tell you that too but…’’ she sighed ‘’well I guess I had the same fear as you’’
‘’It’s the alcohol, baby! And if you told me that I would cry, but don’t tell anyone that I cry.’
‘’Still think you shouldn’t have drank that much. We need to put you in bed as soon as possible let me just find these dumb keys…’’
‘’I love you, Yvie Yvie! I love you!’’
Yvie laughed. ‘’I love you so much.’’ She kissed her, tenderly, calming.
‘’I can’t wait to say that when I’m not drunk,’’ Scarlet yelled as soon as Yvie unlocked the door, coming inside to their home. ‘’But you’re still my bitch’’
Even drunk, she knew life felt sweeter, more colorful and beautiful now - and it wasn’t because of the alcohol. The only scent Scarlet could smell was that of their home. The lights were off, Yvie’s arms were around her, and her favorite music at the moment was her girlfriend’s heartbeat.
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argylemikewheeler · 5 years ago
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|| i saw this post and just had the idea of will freaking out at mike for being tall-- but of course that’s not really what it’s about. just something short and sweet (literally) for you || ao3
It’s in the grocery store that Will just snaps at him. Will’s going shopping for his mom after school. It’s no big thing; Will enjoys the time alone. Except of course, it’s the last day before spring break and Mike’s skipped the last day of school and driven up to see him. Mike’s an extra set of hands to help brings bags into the house, and he’s not too bad of a driver to man the cart.
When Mike pulls up to the house-- just as Will’s grabbing his bag and getting to Jonathan’s car-- he looks so different. His hair is just a little shorter-- cropped and kept, just how Ted likes it, but with Karen’s kind influence of letting him be, Ted, come on. The main thing, at least to Will, is that he’s taller. The man is taller. Will feels his neck crack as he tilts back, just a little. He didn’t shrink, but when Mike runs up to him, he swears he did.
When Will is silent and stares at him for a while, Mike replies that he’s six-foot-two. Which is fine. It’s fine. It’s just that Will is five-foot-six still. But whatever. It’s fine.
Will kind of forgets about it-- forgets about how his new friends call him small. not short but small; how his new doctor is worried he’s stunted from all his “medical trauma” and is trying to talk his mother into having him take steroids; how he secretly likes being the same height because he knows his mom can’t afford buying both him and El new clothes; how he hates that the first thing people notice between him and Mike isn’t even that they’re two men since Will’s short enough to match people’s perception of what “normal” couples look like. Will just forgets about it. And for a while it’s nice.
Mike doesn’t know jack shit about vegetables and Will teaches him how to pick fruit that is just the right amount of unripe so it will last longer in the fridge. Mike pushes the cart and nods, at least pretending he’s enjoying the lesson. It’s 1988 and Mike places his hand on Will’s back when he stands and stares at the wall of soup cans, trying to read prices and brands quickly. It’s 1988 and Will doesn’t even watch how he says “Michael”. It’s a nice outing until they get to the cereal aisle.
It is nearly cleaned out, all the extra boxes up on the top shelf in disorganized storage stacks. Will groans and steps up onto the bottom shelf, his hand straining as he feels around for a box of something. His ribs are pressed to the middle shelf and he tries to keep from swearing. There’s an older lady with two young kids that’s been watching them since they arrived in the aisle-- Mike’s hand gently finding Will’s-- and Will doesn’t want to give her any ammunition to start shouting.
“Would you like some help, Will?” Mike laughs and grabs him under the arms. He hoists Will nearly like he’s weightless, helping him step down to the floor again.
Will sighs. “Yes.”
“What do you want?” Before Will can answer, Mike is sliding box after box down and placing them on the shelves in front of Will’s eye line. “I’ve got ‘em all.”
“I just needed the Cheerios, thanks.” Will grumbles, taking the box and tossing it into the cart. He pushes the cart and they leave the woman’s stare. He feels tense all over again. He forgets to keep forgetting about it-- about everything-- for a moment.
“How do you do this without me.” Mike is simply trying to tease him-- be verbally affectionate when his hands can only jostle his shoulders. “I need to think about moving up here you don’t have to struggle every time you just want to buy something--”
“Shut up, Mike.”
“W--What? What did I say? Was it that you’re short? Because... Will, we know this. It’s my favorite thing about you, you know that.”
“I don’t really want to hear it right now.” Will isn’t aware he’s clenching his teeth until he hears himself speak. “Being small is kind of not my favorite.”
“Oh, but-- It’s fun! You fit right under my arm and you don’t really need to steal as much of the blankets when we sleep--”
“Mike.” Will tries to drop out from under Mike’s arm: he placed it around his shoulders to demonstrate his point. Will is suddenly very aware that they’re two men, even if from every other angle no one seems to notice because he’s... a full eight inches shorter than Mike. It doesn’t feel great to be able to excuse homophobia because he’s as short as a girl. “Mike, please shut up.”
“What?” He’s sincere, but he’s still very confused. He still thinks it’s about being short. He doesn’t move his arm. “OH, well, actually I do hate the whole you-get-to-steal-my-clothes-thing. But if those are the reparations--”
“Would you just shut up, Tall Boy!” Will snaps, twisting around to face Mike. They’re in the middle of the baby section, where no one would be likely to stumble into them.
“T-Tall Boy?” Mike laughs, but he’s still trying to figure out that Will’s genuinely upset. “I-- What? What happened? Did I say something?”
“Yes! Stop talking about how short I am. I hate it.” Will doesn’t know why but he chokes up a little. He pretends he needs to be looking at plastic sippy cups. They look so out of place when the older lady and her children come strolling past. “I hate remembering I’m short.”
“Remembering.” Mike repeats. “Do you... forget?”
“El grew four inches in like... two months.”
“Okay...”
“Mom had to buy her new skirts and jeans because they got too short, too fast. It was the middle of winter and her ankles were so chapped-- She worked another two shift to pay for it.” Will’s breathing is choppy and it’s so stupid. Mike is silent, but because he’s listening, which is still weird for Will to think about.
“Okay. So short is good. You’ve got all your clothes and you’ve got all mine if you need it. And I’m sure Steve’s got more stuff that’s up your alley. It’s okay. Will, it’s okay. I won’t let you go cold.” Mike places his hands on Will’s shoulders, his thumbs brush against his neck.
“They say I’m small at school.” Will pushes through. “Small. You know what else is small? Babies are small. Mistakes are small. OH and you know what is usually small? Girls. Girls are small-- except my sister. Who’s giant--”
“She’s only like... five-nine.”
“Mike.”
“Sorry, literal perspective I see is not the point here.” He nods. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s just-- People don’t think you’re gay sometimes.” Will realizes this doesn’t make sense to anyone but him.
“Uh. That’s... I’m not sure that’s our fault.”
“Well, see, it’s my fault. From a distance, I look like your girlfriend. Not a very, short short man.”
“Well, that’s not your fault. People are blind and weird and straight. That’s not-- You’re not a girl, Will. You definitely aren’t a girl nor look like one or act like one or-- You just aren’t. Being short is not a fault!”
Will sighs and leans into Mike’s hand. “You’re supposed to say that. You’re my boyfriend.”
“I could complain-- would you like me to?” Mike says with a smile. His eyebrows are still furrowed though: he’s upset. “I hate that you can fit comfortably on any bed we share. I hate that... You sometimes can buy kids’ shirts? Because they’re always cooler. Like, you have one you bought as a painting smock that has a freakin shark on it and I gotta say... Men’s clothes, not as cool! I’m less cool as my art school boyfriend because I got tall too quick. Dude, that sucks. I want to be cool like you!”
Will is definitely crying, but he doesn’t acknowledge it. He laughs and smiles. He hopes it makes up for his sniffling. “You think I’m cool?”
“Yeah! My cool, short boyfriend. He’s awesome and he’s super nice because he... worries about the socio-political meaning of him being short. Like. He’s so smart. So smart.”
“He’s the only one who knows what the hell a mango is in your relationship.” Will says, wiping his eyes.
“Yeah! Concentrated intelligence!” Mike reaches for Will’s underarms again. He catches Will’s smile before jokingly hoisting him an inch off the ground. “He’s better because of-- everything, but right now let’s say it’s because he’s not a six-foot-two monster who hits his head on every door frame in his house.”
“Oh my god-- is that what that bump is from?” Will hiccups, laughter nearly scaring him. “Oh, Michael, you poor.... tall thing.”
They laugh in the baby aisle until Will’s face is less red and puffy. As they walk, Mike makes jokes about the weird names of food brands. He offers to get Will things on all shelves, just being a helpful partner rather than a shopping giraffe. He repeats Will’s name every time he speaks to him and someone is in earshot. Will smiles and each time calls him a sappier and sweeter version of “Michael”. Will finishes shopping and feels rather accomplished as they pack the car up.
He forgets about everything again for a while. Everything but Mike. Well, Mike, but more importantly how he makes him feel: so happy, so listened to, so short. And it’s all okay. It’s nothing. Just one small thing in a short life full of so many wonderful, loving things.
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dunkjrk · 6 years ago
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oblivious i
pairing: don x y/n
word count: 1.5k (part one is v short yikes)
warnings: slaughterhouse spoilers, cursing, sex references and mentions of suicide
a/n: hI hELLO uHHh heres my attempt at writing for don bc wHATTA BEAN,, i hope i did his character justice!! if anyone’s read hades! michael you might recognize he recycled description of finn bc i can’t write descriptions for sHiT whoopS anyway,,, this’ll probably be up long after it’s been out but the spoiler warning still stands :)) also for anyone who doesn’t know what upper sixth is it’s the equivalent of a senior x
When the clicking of Mrs Wallace’s heels had drowned out, y/n was quick to jolt out of Don’s bed, clearing her throat.“Right, um I should probably get going too.” She mumbled, fiddling with the edge of the skirt hanging from her hips, and ignoring the heat rising on her cheeks under his intense gaze.“No!” He said, his voice raised slightly in protest as it cracked slightly due to his sudden shout, startling her and stopping her right in her tracks. “I mean, uh you should stay! Yeah you should stay, I’ll need someone to show me how to get to the main hall anyway.” He continued, trailing off with a sheepish grin.Y/n briefly glanced up at him, barely making eye contact before averting her gaze anywhere else but his. The faintest of smirks shadowed his lips at her actions, feeling a strong endearment towards the girl pretending to be oblivious to his stare by playing with the hem of her skirt. “I mean, that’s what I’m here for but don’t worry, I think she fancies you too.” Will interrupted with a wink. A knowing smirk playing on his lips as he took in the scene unfolding before him.
or
y/n has a small crush on the new boy 
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She spotted him before he spotted her.
It was safe to say Y/n’s first meeting with Don didn’t go as smoothly as she would’ve hoped, and much to her dismay (and her best friend’s delight), Will relentlessly teases her about it.
Y/n knew full well she wasn’t supposed to be in the boys’ half of the dorms, let alone comfortably spread out in a deep sleep on the spare bed in Will’s room. It had never crossed her mind that the new term would most likely bring someone new in the use it, hence why she was woken up with a rough jab to her side, with a harsh whisper of ‘are you dead or something, fuckin’ wake up!’
Four sets of eyes watched her jolt from the bed, barely escaping slipping off the edge as she did. In her typical fashion, y/n had no only messed up again, but messed up on her first day back of school. A new record. Y/n had told her mum that this year she was going to put her head down and focus in school and starting sixth form seemed like the best time to put this into practice, but given the current circumstances, y/n couldn’t help but wonder how she’d convince her mum to overlook her being caught sleeping in a boys dorm.
“Miss y/n,” Mr Houseman sighed, a look the read ‘fed up but not surprised’ etched into his features as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Would you care to explain what your duty is in Mr Wallace’s bed?” The older man enquired, leaning against the door- conveniently covering Seymour’s name plaque placed next to Will’s. Sneaky bastard. Being Will’s best friend, y/n was his shoulder to cry when Seymour killed himself, and so naturally she was aware of the situation. Mr Houseman’s snarl of ‘I thought I told you to take that down’ didn’t go unnoticed by y/n, though she was too preoccupied with staring at the boy next to him to even bother to see Will’s reaction.
The boy’s face was unfamiliar, and had it not been for Will’s obnoxious cough she would have been able to analyze him to her heart's content, but the expectant look he sent her way made her swallow her inhibitions and clear her throat.
“Uh, sleeping?”
An eye roll and a quick snatch of the ‘Seymour’ plaque off of the door was the only form of a reply he graced her with before leaving the room, the clicking of his shoes fading down the hallway being the only sound that prevented the atmosphere slipping into an awkward silence.
“So, are you Don’s roommates?” A voice spoke up, presumably his mother. She wore an inviting smile, the type y/n couldn’t help but feel comfortable around. It vaguely crossed her mind as to whether her son had the same smile. His features were striking enough, something she’d been able to gather from the few moments she’d stolen a glance at him. The boy that stood before her was clad in the charcoal grey uniform she knew all too well, topped off with a yellow tie highlighting his forest orbs. ‘House Sparta’. The ash brown waves of locks on his head lay perfectly in place, apart from the single strand of stray hair that caressed his right cheekbone. He had a somewhat diamond shaped face, with defined and sturdy features; and of course a jawline sharp enough to cut the tension growing in the room.
Fortunately for her, Will’s quick reactions saved her from her potential future mother in law judging her (y/n was quite the hopeless romantic).
“Yeah, uh yes Mrs Wallace. I’m Willoughby Blake, I’ll be your son’s roommate for the rest of the year.”
Don’s eyes flitted to the girl, now sitting up but still snuggled up in what he assumed were his sheets. From Mr Houseman’s comment, he inferred she was y/n. A smile worked its way onto his face at the idea of the girl currently doing everything in her power to avoid his gaze being his roommate, it even eased the idea of being stuck in an unfamiliar school full of prestige middle class children for the next two years, and if anything Don could even say he wouldn’t mind it if he could be around the doe eyed girl for the duration of his sixth form experience.  
“Lovely to meet you Willoughby. Uh, I should get going then. Be good, you, and I’ll see you at the end of the term.” She told her son, pecking him quickly on the cheek and sending a friendly smile in Will’s and y/n’s directions before making her way down the hallway, leaving a growing silence to fall over the three teens.
When the clicking of Mrs Wallace’s heels had drowned out, y/n was quick to jolt out of Don’s bed, clearing her throat.
“Right, um I should probably get going too.” She mumbled, fiddling with the edge of the skirt hanging from her hips, and ignoring the heat rising on her cheeks under his intense gaze.
“No!” He said, his voice raised slightly in protest as it cracked slightly due to his sudden shout, startling her and stopping her right in her tracks. “I mean, uh you should stay! Yeah you should stay, I’ll need someone to show me how to get to the main hall anyway.” He continued, trailing off with a sheepish grin.
Y/n briefly glanced up at him, barely making eye contact before averting her eyes anywhere else but his. The faintest of smirks shadowed his lips at her actions, feeling a strong endearment towards the girl pretending to be oblivious to his stare by playing with the hem of her skirt.
“I mean, that’s what I’m here for but don’t worry, I think she fancies you too.” Will interrupted with a wink. A knowing smirk playing on his lips as he took in the scene unfolding before him.
Will was very blunt. For y/n, it was either a blessing or a curse. There were times when she was very thankful for his quick tongue, such as a instance in year ten when y/n had ran into a year eleven in a clumsy rush to get to sixth period. Unfortunately for her, it was Clemsie Lawrence and her clique, the single most loved student in the school. Fortunately for her, her best friend was Willoughby Blake, the single most outspoken student in the school. It was a genuine mistake, y/n and Will had three minutes to get to Latin because he had insisted on stopping to eat a cookie, and now the pair were essentially legging it down the ancient corridors in hopes of getting to class on time. Their hopes were cut short however as they turned a corner, and y/n slammed straight into the blonde year eleven. Various sneers of ‘Watch where you’re fucking going’ echoed through the nearly empty corridor as the younger of the students attempted to mumble a spew of apologies. Apologies that seemed to fall on deaf ears however, which was to be expected really, seeing as year elevens considered themselves to be superior to the rest of the school- especially when they're Clemsie Lawrence or one of her associates. “I uh, I’m sorry, I wasn’t looking and-” “No y/n it wasn’t your fault.” Will spoke up, a faint grin of reassurance being sent her way before he averted his gaze to the group of girls watching with disgust. “If anyone here should be apologizing it should be you.” Y/n was quick to tug at his sleeve when he was met with blank stares and even a few giggles. She knew as soon as one of Clemsie’s friends opened her mouth they were in for it. “You know, when I was in year ten, I wouldn’t dare to speak to a year eleven, let alone like that. Before your girlfriend nearly ran us over and you decided to get brave, I didn’t mind year tens, looks like you fucked it up for your whole year.” Y/n gulped. Even if Clemsie hadn’t actually spoken herself yet, it was clear from the way she was staring down at her, she had definitely landed herself in the school sweetheart’s bad books. Though that being said, he seemed unphased, and without missing a beat Will replied. “Funny you say that, because I was pro life before this run in, but you, too are making me questions my beliefs.” He sighed, feigning disappointment whilst turning away and gripping the shorter girl’s hand who was now biting back a smile. “Oh, and,” He continued, pausing his walk and turning to the group with a sickeningly sweet smile. “ I’m gay.” Ever since that literal run in, y/n was right to assume she and Clemsie hadn’t been on the best of terms.
Their faces fell at his comment. Don looked pale, his eyes wide as if he’d just seen a ghost. Y/n looked on the verge of tears as she watched Will laugh with frantic eyes.
“Calm down, bloody hell you two I’m joking! I’m gay, what do I know about straight messes.” He snickered, patting Don on the back before heading out.
Y/n cleared her throat, hastily heading for the door, “I uh, we should probably go.” She barely even whispered, practically running down the dorms corridor after Will, leaving Don to fend for himself as he watched with a fond smile. For a gay boy, Will truly was spot on about this straight mess.
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amnachil · 5 years ago
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The College Society Chapter 1 Part 6
Enjoy ! :)
Liam Friday October 6 – Saturday October 7
I hate the dishes as much as I hate my dad. With anger, the young lad threw a spoon into the water, and looked at it sink, strangely satisfied. (At least, he had power over spoon, they couldn't resist to him). (This is certainly weird, but whatever). He was working for at least three hours or more, and he started to feet exhausted. Sadly, his break wasn't coming yet. I wish I could just rest for three seconds... His coworker gave him a tray full of spoons, and Liam stared at it, stunned. (Spoon's revenge... What a movie name). Fortunately, Judy called him suddenly :
"Hey handsome ! There is someone who wants to see you in the dining room ! Wash yours hands and come over here !"
Curious and quite worried (after all, his demonic father knew where he lived, he could also knew where he worked), the lad yielded. He crossed the big doors, and glanced to Judy and... Theo. His swimteam captain, with his elbows on the counter, smiled spiritedly.
"Hi Liam. Laura told me you were working here."
The freshman joined Theo and they sat around a table, under Judy concupiscents stares. Why did he come ? Liam knew the captain. Either he was drunk, either he was high, either he was speaking about swimming. But I have already said that I couldn't do tournaments, I'm not drinking that much and I'm not taking drugs. (Sometimes, he wondered if he could be constantly high, but that was always hypothetical). (By the way, he got drunk once, and since, he tried to avoid this as much as possible). He realised he was looking weird when Theo laughed.
"You really look like death warmed up you know ? I should even say you look awful. Rebecca told me you got some troubles... are you fine now ? I may can help."
"Thanks, but it will not be necessary. I'm good. It just was a... bad period."
Almost two weeks after his meeting with his dad, he sincerely felt better. (He stopped his destruction of trash cans when Rebbie asked him to, and he may has hit one or two times his pillow, but nothing too violent.) (Honestly, his pillow was too strong for him, trahs cans were weaker).
"Nice. Don't forget you can always come to me if you are in troubles." declared Theo.
Liam nodded, and then, there was a gap. He wants to say something more, but he's hesitating. It was weird, because the freshman wasn't really good to guess what people wanted, but Theo's mind was easy to read.
"I have something to ask you." this one eventually started. "It might be awkward, don't be scared... I just wanted to know what you're feeling about Nick ?"
The young lad frowned, surprised. Theo smiled.
"C'mon Liam, I know you're gay. I just want to know what are your feelings towards Nick."
Gay. This single word brought bad memories to Liam. Really bad one's. His last romantic relationship had ended because of this word. This cursed word. The young lad stuttered :
"I... I... He's just a friend... nothing more... I... Sorry..."
"Do you think Pete gained weight ?"
Surprised, Liam looked Theo in the eyes. What is he doing ? The swimteam captain laughed and raised a hand by way of forgiveness.
"I brought a sore point, I can see that, and I wanted to skirt the issue because it was painful. Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you."
It seemed sincere. In fact, Liam just didn't want to speak about this stuff at all. It definitely was too painful, as Theo said. I should go back to work. He tried to help me but... I messed everything with my ex and there is no way I date someone else for now.
"He may have gained a bit of belly." approved Liam. "But this is common in college, please, don't blame him for it."
(The young lad was saying this because he wanted to go back to work as fast as possible). (But he noticed Pete's little belly hanging over his swimtrunks, and he was pretty sure he was rounding up a bit). (Yeah, despite being Liam-the-absent-minded-and-stupid-boy, he was careful of his relatives).
"Don't worry, it was not my intend at all." assured Theo. "Anyway, I'm sorry I have bothered you. I should let you work, I can see your cute little boss looking towards there... Is she seriously your boss ?"
The next morning, Liam decided to go to the pool for a swim before his work. (By the next morning, thanks to understand 2pm, because Liam never woke up before at least 11am). With a bit of attention, he did his lengths, and took advantage of the relaxing atmosphere. (He feared Colton, and tried his best to spot him, but found nothing). Finally, once he exerted himself enough, Liam stopped, and went to the locker room. He was taking a shower when he heard the fawning voice he wanted to avoid since several weeks. (Until now, he succeeded pretty well, even for the tutorial project). (Nevertheless, right now, he was naked... He couldn't ran away without losing the last fragments of his pride).
"Hey Liam." started Colton. "I saw you swim, you're good. Why didn't you participate in the tournament ?"
The light-brown boy turned towards his classmate. This one was naked too, and quite impressive. Muscled, with a six pack, strong chest and arms, nice legs and nothing going wrong... He match perfectly with Barbara's taste after all. Even his pe... (Liam blushed, and lowered... looked away).
"Okay, no answer, as usual..." laughed Colton.
"Uh sorry. I'm working during the weekend, I can't do the swimming tournaments. Are you... swimming too ?"
The brown lad looked at him and smiled. He had this smile... He's smart in addition to be handsome. Definitely Barbara's taste. It was weird, to discuss with a stranger in a shower. Liam wasn't used to it, even if he had played soccer. (Besides, he felt quite ugly in comparison with Colton, and it was depressing). (Liam always considered himself as a "normal" guy, but right now, he felt like a trash can). (No worries, he will not hit himself for all that).
"Only for my pleasure." answered Colton. "I wanted to join the club but... with the studies, my girlfriend, the gym and everything, I thought I wouldn't be able to handle this. Maybe later."
Liam nodded slowly. He had one question to ask. But it will be awkward... And I will blush... Anyway, he had to.
"Did you tell her about me ?"
As expected, he blushed a lot. (He was like a tomato when something was discomforting him). Plus, some sophomore entered in the shower, and glanced at them with knowing smile.
"I said nothing yet." assured Colton. "In fact, I'm still wondering... Are you a really bad and indiscreet stalker, or there is something else ? Maybe you know her, but you don't want to talk to her ?"
"Something like that, yes. Please, don't tell her about me."
After all what happened, Liam just wanted to avoid question. He wasn't able to face Barbara. Colton smiled. Eventually, he's cool. Cute, smart and cool, what a winning combination. (This thoughts made Liam blush even more, and he felt a bit of excitement which made him blush again, but thanks to the vapor in the shower, Colton saw nothing).
"Look, I'll be quiet as a grave, but I want something in return. Something simple. You stop avoid me, and you help us on the tutorial project. Deal ?"
"Deal. Can I go dress myself now ?"
Rebecca Monday October 9
As he looked towards Nick, she knew her coach was disapproving. The young freshman was sat on the bleacher, playing at his gameboy while eating a burger. He's just enjoying college freedom... Seing him here, Rebbie realised she didn't know much about him. He was childish, loved video games and junkfood, he always wore baggy clothes, and he had is own kind of humor. And that's all... I don't even know why he has a scolarship... But she wasnt bothered by this... After all, herself didn't talk that much.
"He doesn't look like an athlete to me Rebbie." whispered Bob. "I know what you think : he's my friend, and I don't care about his life's habits, but look... Being surrounded by athlete will lead you to outdo yourself. Furthermore, I don't want you to be... inspired by bad habits. Do you understand what I mean ?"
"Very well coach but... trust me, he's sportier than you think. And he's not encouraging me in any wrong way."
Usually, she never lied to Bob. I don't know why I feel the need to lie about Nick... Maybe, after one month with him, she wanted to remain at his side. He was like the first friend she ever had since she started running. Well, the first friend who was not interested by running. Back in highschool, or even before, she had people around her, but it had been always the same thing : they had only wanted to see her run, or make a sportive performance. As for him, Nick just didn't care about this stuff. This was new for her, and she wanted to see what it would create. Of course, she had also Liam, but it was quite different, the chestnut boy being the most inattentive person she knew.
"Rebbie, it's a reckless process... Let me give you an exemple. Do you remember Shirley Vince, one of your main opposant in highschool ?"
She nodded. A short but resolute blonde girl. Liam was in the same town and school...
"Do you know why you surpassed her ?"
"Because I'm better ?"
Bob smiled. A condescending smile she knew well. It meant she was wrong.
"You see Rebbie, while you're running, my job is to watch you, and to study your opponents. And here is what I know about Shirley Vince. Her brother went at their community college and completely let himself go. Plus, her boyfriend is overweight. That's why she couldn't win. Bad influences. Do you get it ?"
She nodded. From her experience, Bob was always right about sport. Thanks to him, she won more tournaments than she would had ever dream to. And now, she wanted to go at the Olympics Games in two year. She couldn't allow herself any relaxation.
"Anyway, I have to go." continued her coach. "See you tomorow Rebbie. I know you'll make the right thing."
Again, she kindly nodded. In fact, she had an idea. (Probably a bad one, but she wanted to try). Bob was right, she needed a good environment, with healthy relatives, and Nick wasn't. But if I can turn him into an athlete... The black girl came closer and hailed him :
"Hey dude. I... I want to see something with you tonight at the pool, after the swim training. Would you come ?"
The dark-haired boy didn't even raise his head. He simply agreed, and then focused back on his game. (At this moment, she wondered why she was doing all this for this fucking guy). (Then she realised the reason why was because he was this fucking guy). (Weird).
This night, once the training ended, Rebecca waited for him patiently in the tiers. She had prepared a plan in order to help him. Yeah, because finally, I'm helping him to get back in shape. It was hard to know Nick's figure. Outside, he was wearing baggy clothes all the time. And during the swim training, he was wearing his jacket, way too large for him. (He pretended being cold without the jacket). Anyway, the young girl was convinced his friend wasn't in the best shape, and she needed to help him. While she was thinking about him, Nick arrived. However, he wasn't alone, (Liam was here) and fully dressed, what she didn't expected. Damnit...I give him a meeting in the pool, and he comes dressed ?
"Hey Rebbie." he started. "So, what did you want to tell me ?"
Behind him, Liam was contemplating the water without any attention for them. Nevertheless, she felt insulted. Why he brought a friend, and why he was fucking dressed ? She decided to ask this last question, but more diplomatically.
"Can you explain me why are you dressed ? I expected us to swim a bit. You... and me."
She emphasized the last three words. (Liam wasn't listening anyway, so he couldn't be offended). However, Nick, as for him just smiled.
"Was it a date ? You should have say it was date."
A what ? Is he fucking kidding me ? A date ?
"Why the fuck would I date you ? Stop your fucking jokes for once. You're not funny at all."
"Calm down Hulk... I didn't want to upset you..."
"How dare you call me Hulk ?!"
Part of her tried to restrain her anger. But sadly, Rebecca was an impulsive girl. She hated being mocked. And even more being humiliated. Nick was a fucking little jackass, and she was exasperated by his humor. I think it's time to tell him some home truths.
"Listen to me bastard. I'm sick of your attitude. I'm sick of your humor. And I'm sick of your way of life. You're a lazy glutton, a smartass I want to punch since the first time I met you. You're cheeky and offensive."
She took a deep breath, but continued before he could react.
"Everything to say you're a little bugger."
Nick stared at her, astonished, for at least five minutes. I may have overreacted... She felt a bit ashamed, but her pride was stronger. A date, seriously. Who would date a guy like him ?
"Well, now I know what you're thinking." he eventually said. "Can we go ?"
No sadness in his voice, only a bit of anger. He did not feel concerned. He thinks I'm exaggerating.
"Guys ?" suddenly took part Liam. "Have you ever notice how transparent is this water ? I think there is too much chlorine..."
Pete Wednesday October 11
The young lad closed his eyes. He inhaled as much as possible and buttoned quickly his jeans. Once sure it was fastened, he relaxed a bit. I'm starting to regret having bought tight pants. Ten days since he decided to gain weight, and the results were starting to show. Right now, a roll of flab was hanging over his jeans. To be honest, it was the only physic change he noticed for now. A bit more of belly. However, both his appetite and love for junkfood were increasing, and he expected soon some results. While buttoning his shirt, he wondered if Theo noticed his growing waistline. Mike didn't even notice, so my sweet captain neither... I need to put on more pounds. He weighted himself yesterday, and was up to 75 kg (165 pounds). In other word, I gained 2 kg (5 pounds)... That's definitely not enough. Anyway, he was sure to succeed in the long run. (To be honest, he felt better now... like more... brave. It was a strange feeling, but he loved it. And he ached to get Theo back). A knock at the door made him jump. It's already time... Damnit. Swiftly, he opened the door, and sighed when his older sister yelled :
"Pete !!!!! I missed you so much !"
I already regret this meeting. His two sisters and his mother had come from his town to visit him this evening, and he didn't know how to feel about it. Yeah, because she might have insulted him, in fact his mother just loved him. (She was totally crazy, and didn't wanted him to leave). (It what happen when you are the only son, and the last born).
"My little boy !" she shouted. "Come here and cuddle your momma !"
He obeyed, and then led them in the living room. By the way, the young lad noticed they were holding severals bags, and he wondered why... But he was too shy to ask. In presence of his mother, he was a whole different person.
"You look fine to me." stated this one. "We brought diner, because we knew you would not be able do to anything fine. I hope you built a bit of appetite, because as I always said, you need to eat, my lovely son."
Slumped on the sofa, half conscious, Pete let a belch slip out his lips, and closed his eyes, relaxed. Next to him, one of his sister was rubbing his distended belly, undeniably happy, while the other put a spoon full of ice cream in his mouth. Please... I'm so full... He felt ready to explode. His jeans, which he lost so much time to fasten a bit earlier, was now open, as his shirt, to let place for his stomach. This one was round, hard as a rock, stuffed to the brim. Pete was experiencing something new. Back in highschool, he had always tried to control what his sisters and his mother wanted him to eat. But now, he knew he could handle it. (Maybe not, but it was worth a try). He was in a strange food-coma, opening his mouth, swallowing, and opening his mouth again. A delicious spoon of ice cream found his way towards his throat. Slowly, he wanted to sit up straight, but failed. A loud burp resonated in the room.
"Sounds like my boy is almost full." stated his mother. "I'm really glad you are eating more, it's healthier. You might become less ugly than you are."
She dropped off the table a big tray full of cookies. Pete looked at it, surprised. Is she expecting me to finish all these ? His family always have been full of big eaters. His two sister were quite similar, blonde, short and chubby, both with blue eyes. They often ate more than he was used too, and didn't have any problem with their weight. As for her, his mother wasn't that fat. Just a bit, as the great majority of old woman. She gave everything to my father I guess. Mr. Norisson, Pete's dad, was sporting a well-nourished gut, sign of his wealthy lifestyle. Ironically, his whole youth, the freshman tried to avoid the same fate. Being gay, he had been convinced he couldn't find love if he was fat. And now, he met the love of his life, but this one didn't like him because he was too thin. Thinking about it, Pete opened his mouth and gobbled several cookies, for the delight of his mother.
"You definitely changed." she smiled. "Seems like you decided to be an adult now."
He nodded, and took another cookie. After all, it was working perfectly for his plans, despite being a bit awkward.
Later, Pete found himself exhausted, and just relaxed on his bed. He could hear his mother and sisters talking about how proud they were, and it made him smile. However, right now, he didn't really consider himself fine. His belly was oversized, definitely too stuffed. It was hard, and each time he pushed a bit, he felt a painful pressure. (Which was why he tried to rub his stomach with meticulousness). I shouldn't have do this... Mentally, the pleasure of eating left, replaced by the impression to be a pig. It was a mistake, wasn't it ? Gain weight didn't mean he had to act like a fat slob. Pete closed his eyes, shameful, when he suddenly heard his mother saying :
"I'm sorry, but my son overeat a bit, and he's sleeping right now. You know how men are sometimes."
"Of course. I understand." replied Theo, souding amused.
What the fuck is he doing here ? Don't tell me I'll miss him... And his mother had just said he "overeat". Hell... She could have think before speaking...
"I'll tell him you came." she assured. "By the way, you're ?"
"A swimteam buddy." replied the captain. "What did you mean by... overeat ? Is he fine ?"
(In his deepest desire, Pete had expected Theo to introduce himself as his boyfriend, but nevermind). Right now, he feared his mother answer, and wanted to stood up, but he felt too heavy to even move. Damnit... I shouldn't have eat that much... He looked at his distended belly, and listened to the response.
"When I'm here, Pete is a real little glutton you know." she said. "I may have cooked a bit too much, but anyway, don't worry, he's fine. He just need to rest, which is normal after such a binge."
What a disgrace... I'm dead to him now. (Pete knew she was doing it on purpose. Since he left, she tried everything to make him come back. Crazy, as he said). Now, he looked like a pig, and a fat glutton.
"I understand." replied joyfully Theo. "I'll see him tomorrow. Have a good evening.”
To be continued
So we crossed the half of the 1st chapter ! I hope you’re liking it so far :)
I really enjoy writing Liam’s pov. He’s one of my favorite character since The High School Game and I’ve planned so much things for him ! But you’ll have to read to see that hehe.
Pete is on his way to become a nice feedee ! I guess that’s why Theo is waiting...
Rebecca versus Nick is a side story I wanted to develop a bit. But remember this is wrote under her pov ! She might not be percieving the whole picture :)
See you next week !!
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republictrooper · 6 years ago
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Star Trek Discovery Season 2 Finale Thoughts.
Ok, so like. I finally got to watch the last episode since I was on Vaycay last Thursday.
I like the ending. It was 90% explosions and 10% plot, but I liked it, a lot, some reservations aside.
I mean, I always felt like we needed a new Trek series set in the future instead of all these prequels (one reason I’m not on the “Pike Miniseries” train), but sending the prequel series into the future to BE that series was... actually a pretty smooth move.
On one hand, it’s a little ingenious how many holes it plugs up from the timeline perspective - Spock never talks about his sister because it’s a matter of temporal security, the Spore Drive never sees wide use because both ships that used it met a grisly,grisly end, Cornwall never showed up in TOS because she was KIA in a battle that was at least partially classified, etc.
On the other hand, I found that most of the people concerned about that stuff were of the whiny fanboy brigade angry that the SJWs were taking over their beloved trek, and honestly, screw those guys. Retcons are a standard of most longrunning series, so just retcon that Michael took her wife Tilly to the Enterprise for regular visits with Spock and constantly teased him about how he was obviously smitten with Jim, and that Hugh and Bones constantly traded tips about how to be gay doctors in space and the Red Lizard alien bridge crew member actually always existed on the bridge even during the TOS era and was Uhura’s beloved wife and helped Spock spirit Pike away to Talos after his injury and etc, etc, etc... Cuz retcons can be ok in a lot of cases and the fanboys could learn some humility.
So it’s comme-ci, comme-ca, I guess. Overall, I do think releasing the series from the shackles of being a lore-friendly prequel was a GOOD thing for sure.
Other thoughts:
We finally got the promised Paul/Hugh reconciliation and it was everything I hoped for and more.
Jet Reno has seen the future, and says she has “at least” 5 lives left? 
Did she see herself almost die 5 more times? 
Did she see herself DIE?
Or was she just using a colloquialism and I’m reading too much into it?
Nhan definitely likes ladies, I’m pretty much convinced of it given how she and Phillipa were basically flirting while they pursued Leland. Hopefully she gets with a nice girl who’s not a backstabbing evil bisexual empress from an alternate dimension, though, tbqh. I could see her and Jett or even her and Michael making a great team, tbqh. I’m pretty sure she survived the fight with Leland, at least.
Speaking of the fight with Leland, the fact that he WAS Control in the end (enough such that his fleet couldn’t keep fighting once he was magnetized) makes me a little nervous that he went to the future with everyone else. I don’t trust those magnets to completely stop him. Or even if they did, what if he reconstitutes in the future and keeps the apocalypse going? Frick, I hope they manage to completely erase and dispose of EVERY SINGLE NANITE. Or do future nanites get their data erased by magnets like old school floppies?
On the other hand, maybe Zora evolves in part because she IS the remnants of control. Which uh. might explain why she was abandoned. Control starts reconstituting again, gets full sapience via the sphere data on Discovery’s computers, so they have to leave her in a space storm in the past in hopes it prevents her from going full Borg again?
Man, I really hope Control isn’t somehow the protoBorg. THE BORG ARE ALWAYS AT THEIR BEST WHEN THEY’RE MYSTERIOUS DAMMIT.
I like to think that shot of Detmer getting back to her chair after Leland left the bridge was because she was making sure her girlfriend was alright. I am glad Owosekun looks alright, when she got hit I was bracing for the worst.
Still not sure I get the whole Ash Tyler situation. This is one of the biggest weaknesses of prequels, at least for me, and one of the few loose ends they didn’t actually tie up with the time jump, oddly enough. You can talk about Ash reforming Section 31 into something better and more transparent, but we already KNOW he fails. At some point in the future, Section 31 will be the horrific secret police of the DS9 era, even grimmer, more nihilistic, and less transparent than pre-Control Leland. I was never an Ashburn fan, and I’m still a little sore at him for killing Hugh, so I’m not especially mourning the fact he stayed in the past, but frick, at least let him go back to Earth and sail boats for the rest of his days. He deserves that more than vainly struggling to reform an organization we already know will fail to live up to the goals he has. 
Anyway, Section 31 was a mistake and Ash Tyler was too good of a character to waste on that. Given they sent Phillipa into the future, I was hopeful they had cancelled the S31 series in favor of keeping her on the main series cast and the concept of S31 as anything other than the clear villains could die a quiet, peaceful death, but I GUESS NOT.
Also, still a little weird that the Klingons are gonna be cold war enemies for the next few decades/centuries. I guess at some point L’Rell is no longer able to hold the Chancellorship solely on strength of threatening the other clans with blowing up Quo’noS and/or doing the whole “Mother knows best” thing? Or then again, they never quite established how or why she gave up the whole Klingon supremacy movement, so maybe she just goes ahead and gets back on that now that most of the Starfleet-aligned people keeping her in check on that are either dead or 900+ years in the future.
Anyway, the biggest question is, what happens in the future?
Do we have a weird Voyager-like situation in which they are so far in the beta quadrant and in time they have to work with limited primitive resources and/or try to make it to federation space despite a travel time of multiple decades, whether because Paul can’t jump anymore due to his injuries, or Phillipa fried the spore drive when she killed Leland?
Or are we gonna have a full on Federation that’s spread between Quadrants, and if so, how does Discovery slot into that? Do they just get reintroduced and get the Discovery retrofitted to full futurosity? Does Tilly get to fulfill her dreams of captaincy in the future Federation, or does she just have to hope Saru or Michael passes the captaincy on to her when they die or retire? Or does she give it up because everything’s gone sideways and instead stays on the Discovery (possibly as chief science officer, while her wife moves up to 1st Officer)?
I mean, I have always loved Trek for its optimistic view of the future, so I hope the Federation is around and basically a forward-looking, peaceful organization, but given the brief glimpse we got from Calypso was of a warn-torn future, I’m a little iffy. S2 was great in part because it dared pull away from the overly darkness-filled S1, I hope we don’t plunged back into a grimdark future. I guess there could also be a plot twist with Zora and Craft. Maybe the Alcor IV folk are human separatists and the V’draysh are the peace-loving forwarding thinking Federation.
The spirk nod was amazing and gdi, I would pay like a million bucks for a retcon somewhere down the line that establishes Kirk and Spock got married at some point and settled down somewhere, where Kirk died peacefully of old age (and not on some dusty distant planet after being swallowed by the metaphysical concept of heaven then spit back out to get unceremoniously bodied by Malcolm McDowell) sorry Generations) before Spock went back to being an ambassador and doing all the stuff in the TNG-era shows/movies/novels/etc.
I don’t even necessarily ship Spirk that hard, Spock is just undeniably queer as hell and we deserve that reading of him finally being canonized. 
Anyway, I liked Season 2 overall. I look forward to season 3!
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todays-jeremy-heere · 6 years ago
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Recap Post
So I’ve had a couple requests for what the fuck has happened so far from newer people to our dandy set of blogs, here it is! Keep in mind this is all mostly improv so if it’s a bit all over the place then oops lol rip. (Older people and other today blogs, feel free to yell at me if I miss anything.) 
NOW INCLUDING LINKS TO CERTAIN IMPORTANT THREADS
The three not main characters in the bmc group are:
Madeline, Thalia (George’s character from Smartphone Hour), and Dustin Kropp
Let’s start at the beginning, a very good place to start :)
So the first activity of these blogs is nothing special, just silly conversations, teasing each other, and because no one is together yet, flirting. But eventually, people pair up so those people are...
Brooke x Rich, Michael x Jake and Dustin x Jeremy
Thalia asks Jeremy and Mr Heere if she can move into their house because she has an abusive father she wants to get away from, they say yes and now she lives with them. Sometime after this Thalia pairs up with Madeline. 
Jake and Chloe keep having childish arguments because they are both still salty about thier past relationships. Jake brings up how Chloe sexually assaulted Jeremy at the Halloween party last year. Tension happens between Chloe and Jeremy where they both think the other hates them.
After a bit Thalia and Madeline break up, this causes Thalia to spiral and she gets a Squip. She is very clearly not ok and whenever anyone tries to reason with her she says she doesn’t need help because she’s perfect. Then, of course, it goes wrong because it always does and she starts threatening to murder Jeremy, whenever Dustin tries to scare her off she does the same to him. There’s a massive completely improvised fight scene at Jeremy’s house (we were all freaking out on the mod discord lol), in which Chloe gets a concussion, Rich nearly gets murdered and Thalia tries to force feed Jeremy Mountain Dew Green...
When everyone wakes up the next day you have some cute shipping junk between some of the couples since their SO was nearly killed. Chloe and Jeremy realise they both don’t hate each other because they actually TALK TO EACH OTHER TO FIGURE SHIT OUT.
Meanwhile, Chloe and Madeline have clear romantic chemistry and everyone can see it but them, they ‘fake��� flirt and go on ‘fake’ dates while saying ‘I cAn’T POsSibLY sEE HoW ShE cOUld LIkE mE’. It’s cute, we all love it.
But it goes wrong when Chloe says that Madeline should keep some distance from her because she’s scared of whatever’s going on between them and that obviously hurts Madeline because they have become really close friends since the blogs started. Madeline spirals like Thalia did and gets a squip, but this time only Chloe is there to help her. Dustin was going to help but Jeremy keeps saying that he can’t go and he’s scared and he doesn’t want ‘this’ so being a good boyfriend, Dustin tries to help him. Jeremy just tells him there’s nothing wrong and Dustin should go help, Chloe. Dustin doesn’t like being left in the dark so he goes (unhappily) but he doesn't get there in time to help Chloe (I SWEAR THIS IS IMPORTANT LATER, https://todays-jeremy-heere.tumblr.com/post/179026525980/jeremy-whats-going-on-why-are-people-saying-i). So Chloe and Madeline have a fight scene and Squip!Madeline loses. (https://todays-chloe-valentine.tumblr.com/post/179030653474/listen-up-you-tic-tac-bitch-chloe)
When Maddie is in the hospital with her you get some really cute lesbian time with Chloe talking to a sleeping Madeline and what not its cute. https://todays-chloe-valentine.tumblr.com/post/179068636659/14102018
Eventually, the two of them (FINALLY) get together <3
Meanwhile, Jeremy’s mental state is getting obviously worse (posts with crossed out text, talking to ‘himself’, stuttering more, ect ect.) but whenever anyone tries to see what’s wrong he gets very defensive to the point of being kinda rude.
Dustin tries to get him to open up one final time, Jeremy says some stuff he shouldn’t have and Dustin breaks up with him, https://todays-jeremy-heere.tumblr.com/post/179194061640/101818 (Note, Dustin was completely justified and not an asshole, Jeremy was hurting both of them. https://todays-dustin-kropp.tumblr.com/post/179194994713/seriously) This sends both of them into a bad place where Dustin is pretty empty and Jeremy is panicky and defensive (and it's very obvious his squip has reactivated, https://todays-jeremy-heere.tumblr.com/post/179216021025/this-is-your-fault-n-no-he-deserves-better-than ).
Chloe and Dustin are good friends so she and him help each other out with their shit its sweet.
Whenever people try to help Jeremy he lashes out and gets very defensive. It’s very obvious at this point that during the fight with Thalia he was squipped, he talks to himself and flinches at nothing, but whenever anyone accuses him of that he adamantly denies it. He refuses to drink mountain dew red.
Chloe tries to talk to him but he yells at her and when she calls him out he starts stuttering an apology and she goes ‘Jesus stop stuttering like that.' This is the wrong thing to say to someone who spent almost a year of their life shocked whenever the speech impediment that they cannot control showed itself. Jeremy gets fucking pissed, obviously. (https://todays-jeremy-heere.tumblr.com/post/179285070845/hey-uh-ive-checked-up-on-dustin-but-how)
Madeline sends him a ‘not so friendly suggestion’ to not shout at her girlfriend. When Jeremy says how she commented on his stuttering Madeline mocks him with a fake stutter and is no help whatsoever. She says she’s sorry that they care enough to ask him what’s wrong. Jeremy has asked multiple times that they treat him like they usually do, even when he’s going through a bad time because he wants one constant thing so he says ‘If you cared about me you’d leave me alone.’ (https://todays-madeline-monroe.tumblr.com/post/179286238797/hey-unfriendly-demand-dont-fucking-yell-at-my)
Jeremy gets worse, anons try giving him an intervention, doesn't work. Chloe tries apologizing but she accidentally makes Jeremy have a mental breakdown which is always fun.
Meanwhile, Thalia finds out that a guy from her English and PE classes got her pregnant. Her mum also died, Chloe is very supportive to her and lends her a dress for the funeral. She generally isn’t having a very good time right now but everyone she knows is being so nice to her and she’s very grateful. (https://todays-thalia-mcarthy.tumblr.com/post/179404119923/hey-i-need-to-borrow-a-dress-for-my-mothers)
In preparation for Jake’s party, Dustin lets Jake know that he’s allergic to red food dye so that it isn’t in any of the food and Dustin doesn’t need to go to the HOSPITAL.
Jeremy and Chloe made up, Jeremy apologises for yelling and Chloe apologises for commenting on his stutter. They end up hugging and Chloe lets him know that even though he wants to be left alone she’s still there for him, when Jeremy starts replying with an explanation of why he can't really talk about it his squip shocks him. Rather than freaking out Chloe calmly deals with it and Jeremy indirectly confirms that he does indeed have a squip. They establish a code so that they can talk about it, green = its talking, yellow = it shocked me, and red = help. Madeline (who acted a lot worse) still hasn’t apologised and Jeremy is still mad at her. This is the post where this goes down >>> (https://todays-chloe-valentine.tumblr.com/post/179403825299/h-hey-i-im-sorry-for-s-shouting-at-you)
Chloe finally gets Dustin to open up about how he’s feeling because up until this point Dustin has just been taking care of everyone but himself. Dustin accidentally implies he’s a murderer to get Chloe to not call him an ‘egg’ but they resolve it. He isn't a murderer (probably). Chloe is everyone’s mother. (https://todays-chloe-valentine.tumblr.com/post/179437193524/someones-been-anonymously-flirting-with-your-ex)
Chloe encourages Dustin to talk to Jeremy and sort their shit out but it goes wrong when Dustin kisses Jeremy twice and Jeremy, who did not consent to that, yeets outta there because he was not ready to do anything like that with Dust bin again and he goes to Chloe’s house and he is obviously upset and he says he feels ‘gross’.
Chloe mother is having none of that shit so she goes to yell at Dustin, she told him to talk to jeremy not to kiss him. Chloe is very mad and not thinking straight (me neither chlo) so she kisses him to try and do a tase of your own medicine type thing but Dustin is just like ‘ew im gay’. Everyone is annoyed at Chloe for this because WHAT THE FUCK CHLOE DO NOT KISS A GAY GUY WHEN YOU ARE A GIRL ESPECIALLY WITHOUT CONSENT.
Madeline, her gf, says that she is terrified of how easily Chloe can hurt people like that and she breaks up with Chloe.
So now Chloe is kinda spiraling but she doesnt get a squip because she’s not AN IDIOT.
Jeremy and Dustin kinda make up, Dustin is obviously extremely sorry and Jeremy gets the circumstances and is way too forgiving in general but yeah. It’s unspoken that they are ok with eachother but they boht kinda silently agree to forget that ever happened and to move past it.
Thalia in general isn’t very mentally ok and she tries to kill herself by jumping off a bridge but Dustin saves her.
AND THAT’S WHERE WE ARE NOW FUCKERS HAVE A NICE DAY.
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