#I try my fuckign best to navigate my life and stay positive I can literally be having the best day and all it takes is one little thing-
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#crazy how religious trauma just got me fucked up for life lmao#and I still live with the same people who instilled that fear inside me so that's fun on a daily basis#I try my fuckign best to navigate my life and stay positive I can literally be having the best day and all it takes is one little thing-#like how is that fun for you? to sit and tell ur family members that they're gonna go to hell the end of the world is upon us#'you aren't gonna be able to live your life fully anyways just come to church and get saved then you can at least get into heaven' I JUST#I AM ABOUT TO START GOING INSANE#I need to find a way out of here but god damn I can't even find a job rn like ugfhfghfsghgfhfg god I'm trying to stay strong so bad I am#crazy how people think they're helping you when really they're the ones pushing you further into insanity#not to mention the fact that I believe Christianity probably caused me to be so fucked mentally starting at a young age#then the fucking job thing like even then I need accommodations since I'm fucking epileptic like UGGFHFGHFGHFGHFG#It will all be okay and I believe that truly I just needed to yell and scream into the void thanks#man the worst part is the fear mongering gets to me after while and I think well damn they're probably right huh#hayden.txt
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TEMERAIRE LETâS READ: BLOOD OF TYRANTS, THE WILLIAM LAURENCE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT NG+ SPEEDRUN
- oh NO LAURENCE D:D:D:
I do love that one of his first realizations is that heâs definitely not dutch tho lol this dumbass remembered that he was english before he remembered his own name
- caught between OH NO TEMERAIRE (and itâs only page 9 itâs going to be one of those books huh) and laughing my ass off at the thought of him swooping into notoriously isolationist japan and yelling âHAVE YOU GUYS SEEN MY DAD???â
- âYes,â [Laurence] said, unyielding, as he could not be otherwise. ahahahahaha way to summarize the entirety of old school!laurence with one fucking sentence
(I am very much enjoying this uh. âsetbackâ of his character actually? novik really did just roll him back to factory settings and went ânow... from the top again, letâs see if youâve been paying attention these last seven booksâ haha. no one told me thereâd be a test!!!!!!!!!!)
- Kaneko really has the patience and graciousness of a saint, @ laurence please... please try to be marginally less sketchy hm? (I guess his sheer obliviousness to how direly he comes across here must be why kaneko hasnât dismissed him out of hand)
- yâknow... at least laurence is in no position to have to worry about all this shit temeraire and the others are pulling. when people start talking about black-scaled celestials shaking the country to its very foundations heâll be blissfully, innocently unaware. thatâs something, I suppose... well who am I kidding weâll 100% get a couple of paragraphs of him convincing himself this is all his fault somehow anyway
- . . . and His Majestyâs Government does not behave in such an underhanded a manner as to attack another nation with no warning or quarrel. aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha oh what a strange beautiful fantasy land youâve been residing in for most of your life william laurence, hang on tight for the opium wars
- hahaha oh my god this is like a platonic version of that text post
temeraire: have you guys seen my dad??!?!
them: what does he look like?
temeraire, crying: beautiful and human and has gold buttons
- I take it all back old school laurence is such a tremendous idiot. just PRETEND youâre willing to cooperate at least you huge fuckign dummy, all youâd have to do was say something vague about how the ship canât get too close to shore; it wonât actually help them and theyâll know it but you wonât make yourself look so unspeakably willfully suspicious
- Â :( making me read things where temeraire is just hurting should be ILLEGAL actually
- NO LAURENCE STOP TRYING TO KICK LITERALLY EVERY POLITICAL HORNETâS NEST WITHIN REACH BAD BOY he is... a disaster but I love him and fear for him as a son so here I am anyway
- hahahahaha yeah wow laurence it sure would suck if you ever had to commit treason huh death probably would be preferable indeed
b o i
- i like that it took him like a week to even give a single thought to edith lol at least he remains aggressively himself
- I think temeraire basically just invented dragon baby photos and I canât even think for how darling it is
also every dragon physician is delightful; they fear neither god, man nor huge ass patients who could swallow them in a bite
aw man I love gong su
- ahahahahahahah kiyo is the actual best I canât breathe
KANPAI INDEED, MY LADY, MY LIEGE, I DONâT CARE WHAT ELSE HAPPENS I WOULD FOLLOW YOU TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH
Laurence was forced to at least moisten his lips in a show of accompaniment, and hope that he had indeed buried Caesar and not praised him, or for that matter raised him from the dead one act too soon; he was not perfectly sure. He did not think he had been this appallingly drunk since he had been a boy of twelve, trying to make good on every toast at his captainâs table. I. am. dying
thank you thank you thank you for the mental image of laurence drunkenly trying to stumble through the âfriends, romans, countrymenâ speech as well as the entire rest of the play in a one-man performance
- oh no... I would die for junichiro, baby boy who loves his teacher SO MUCH ;____________; aaaaand there are laurenceâs adoption instincts, I see, right on time <3 I like how they have had one actual conversation now and laurence is like âah well nothing for it then guess youâll have to stay on my ship and Iâll have to be your dad now, brash 16 year old childâ
junichiro is being Full Teenager about laurence not knowing ~*obvious*~ things and itâs a delight
- yâknow this period of japanese history is always portrayed in the west as paranoia and it could probably only be done because the country was a strict military dictatorship at the time... but having read oh, any history book ever, deciding that nope nah donât think so no europeans ever is the greatest âfair enoughâ in human history. Â (...I guess this series is sort of AU fix it fic of the period in the first place haha)
- seeing temeraire this level of straight out angry is very interesting and also very unsettling
- ooooof whenever laurence almost-remembers temeraire... stab me in the heart why donât you
- man churki really is the mom friend of these dragons sheâs the only one who has a lick of sense
- *laurence, upon clobbering several men with an oar* âMaâam, I beg your pardon,â Laurence said to the old woman, who was still sitting ramrod-straight in the ferry over the side from him and regarding him with a flat expression of utter disapproval and not the least evidence of fear; he put out a boot over the side and shoved the ferry off with a heave
god this book is just a continual parade of glorious mental images, just this old woman glaring at him like âRUDEâ and âMaâam, I beg your pardonâ fdslfhsdlkjh
- I have a lot of sympathy for hammond. imagine having to navigate the extremely delicate diplomatic situation between europe and japan, with the real prospect of a war breaking out over it, while temeraire is looking over your shoulder... real dragon in the glassware shop vibe going on here, iâm sorry about your life hammond
- AUGH laurence just sort-of-remembered emily he just half-remembered he basically has a daughter someone hold me (...junichiro is so so sweet ;___;)
- bwahahaha yeah Iâm sure the only reason this impressionable young kid whoâs slowly becoming very impressed by you has for sneaking glances at your bare chest is manly appreciation of your battle scars laurence, well done (I mean a supremely understandable innocent teen crush to develop but stay safely out of that, kid; I trust tharkay to survive the sheer field of mayhem around this man only because heâs got like 20 years, extreme competency and a world of cynicism on you)
- aw junichiro :(:(:(
- ...laurence you need to stop making your dragon boi think youâre dead because this is hurting me. my heart lies in sad little pieces on the ground right now. you are stepping on them with tapdancing shoes.
- âI am under an obligation to Junichiro,â [Laurence] said, quietly, âwho you must know has aided me for love of you. If I surrender myself and am made prisoner in this way, will your honor be satisfied?â
fdsfhsdkfsdja  *ELMO SURROUNDED BY FLAMES GIF* this is all awful theyâre all such good people why must this happen why this Â
(what a way to remind me why I love this stupid wonderful man so much tho uuuuuugh)
- âHe is a prince of China, and my captain.â âThe devil I am,â said Laurence. This might be the funniest heartbreak I have ever experienced
- good job making me cry whenever I read the words âprincipia mathematicaâ naomi novik that was real nice of you
- maximus is such a solid bro. not the brightest, but by god a good 80% of that boyâs gigantic body mass is pure heart
- I love the sheer trollishness of just dropping all these hints about whateverâs going on in the US and then moving on like nothing has happened lol at least itâs deeply implied that hamilton squandered his chances at the presidency by pulling his dumb hoe act in this universe too... constants and variables friends constants and variables
- bOY for a moment there I really did wonder if junichiro was going to die, thank god for a quick google to stop my heart from leaping up my throat and out into thin air to shatter yet again on the flagstones beneath
- in unrelated news I recently found out a bit more about the whole historical Situation in Australia at the beginning of Tongues of Serpents (incidentally, by reading Mark Forsythâs âA Short History of Drunkennessâ, which is very funny and quite interesting although I can personally testify that the chapter about vikings at least is completely riddled with misunderstandings or straight out factual errors about the mythology, the role of women in society and uh the entirety of how poetry worked so maybe take him with a pinch of salt lol), and now, in retrospect, I have to say Novik does a poor job conveying the sheer hilarity and madness going on at that time. Like. I was quite bored in those first few chapters, whenever Tharkay didnât have page time. how could you make this incredible spectacular shitshow boring. it should have been easy comedy gold and not just like. misery. oh well great times, letâs return to the book at hand
- I remain utterly devoted to Lady Kiyo. livinâ life, drinking sake, giving no fucks, absentmindedly scoping out the western style ships and starting an entire modern navy for her country, getting some Theater up in here.... truly I would follow her into the jaws of hell itself, safely in the knowledge that sheâd find some way to have a good time down there
- kaneko tearing up at laurence promising heâll take care of junichiro đ this is so cruel to me, personally, specifically against my person, I am undone
- I like how the incan dragons are told like âdonât pick just one special person; you can love all your humans equallyâ while the poor japanese ones are told âactually donât love any of your humans very much at least not more than Honourâ lol they must have so many neurotic dragons running about b/c that when that attachment happens it seems extremely central to their psychology (and considering lady arikawa itâs not like theyâre exempt from it, theyâre just supposed to repress it to conform)
- laurence desperately trying to work out whether emilyâs his daughter without actually asking anyone... delicious
the descriptions of rolandâs letters: even more delicious
- temeraire sees the sad remnants of laurenceâs robes and âhello darkness my old frieeeeendâ starts playing in his head... too bad laurence isnât really in a position to experience the relief
- He is very much a one-note character, but OâDeaâs resolute dedicated fatalism is extremely funny
- hahaha poor temeraire... when you try to introduce bae to the family and they insist on being TOTALLY EMBARRASSING god
- The guilt of having caused pain to one deserving only consideration at his hand mingled with unanswered disquiet. Iâm bawling laurenceâs dad instincts are so pure and good even tho everythingâs a bit messed up right now. like this whole paragraph is so powerful b/c you can see laurenceâs natural loving impulse at war with his dadâs cold authoritarian parenting style and because his lived experience is removed he doesnât know what is right.............. oh b o y
- oh okay I see my earlier comment about the opium wars proves unexpectedly prophetic
- it cannot be overstated how much I love junichiro or how happy I am that laurence is being so soft and patient with him. this kid has Been Through some shit
- emily roland shoulder to shoulder with laurence killing fools and he never doubts her for a moment... *chef kiss emoji* Â
- the problem with these books is that there are just so many good characters and so many of them donât get any real page time in any given one -- Iâm sitting here plaintively like âI realize this is not the most pressing issue right now but how is demane and sipho doing. are they okay. does sipho have enough booksâ
- ouch memory loss isnât stopping laurence from flashing back to victory of eagles :(
thereâs something so disconcerting about knowing why laurence reacts to things the way he does when he doesnât; novik is using that very efficiently, this is a very satisfying use of amnesia just from a writerâs POV haha
- I like how none of these suckers really have the tools (or in some cases even inclination) to understand how messed up junichiroâs political situation is in all this
they just expect him to come home to britain with them and meanwhile heâs just found out that The greatest threat to his nation (from his POV I mean china/japan relations irl seem uh complicated) has more dragons in one field than heâs ever seen in his life. itâs a rough and lonely deal being this kid in this book
- oh ouch yes hey there laurence there might have been... a little bit of treason. true. extremely justified treason tho. I mean. oh dear
we donât have tharkay and his unique mix of deep cynicism, incisive sarcasm and surprising depth of concise moral clarity here to assist with the aftermath so this could get  u g l y
- listen what did I SAY about making me read about temeraire being miserable   :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
- SIPHO!! hey baby boy pls have some thought for your brotherâs cardiac health tho
- aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw the fact that laurence is getting out of this crisis so much quicker this time because of his bone-deep instinctual knowledge of how much he loves temeraire, which doesnât need specific memories to be true and felt. god. jesus. stars above
- laurence: approaches little
little: gay panic
- [Laurence] groped after the truth of himself like a prisoner in Platoâs cave, watching shadows. *clenches fist with great emotion* fuck naomi novik why must you be such an excellent goddamn writer im in pain
- oh hay arkady
poor poor temeraire feeling like a failure in every way is so awful but also kind of funny. âoh shit arkadyâs egg oh fuck oh crapâ
- I LOVE that hammond is so clearly and repeatedly shown to be a very astute political thinker and working shit out before everyone else! he may be a dumbass and a bit of a weasel but by god heâs great at what he does!
- laurence wouldnât have changed anything if he could u guise. I . that. hm. oh
- thARKAY
.........arkady I am only a human and a small one at that but I will find some way to climb up there and wring your neck
(how cute is it that apparently jane roland realized she needed someone to find laurence and was like âwell I need someone who can take care of themselves and knows the area and speaks dragon and Understands the chaotic ways of william laurence and also has looked uncharacteristically like a kicked puppy at the very mention of his name ever since being forced to leave him behind in australia.... hey tharkay you want a jobâ fhkjshdfkalhsd)
- Iâm very glad I googled ahead and spoiled myself a bit on this, because if I just read this part fresh I would have expired on the spot
- MISSION GET MY BOY BACK SAFE FOR GODâS SAKE is a go
- general chu is pretty cool for an old dude you feel me
- . . . and Laurence knew him; knew him and knew himself.
ahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha
hahahahahahahhahahahaha
hahahahhha
haha
what... what pure undiluted soulmate nonsense is this. what. how. WHY would you do this
- I think I said something offhandedly in my victory of eagles reactions about how tharkay makes laurence remember who he is. I. thought I was exaggerating slightly for dramatic effect at the time. um wow
- I am having the sort of feelings about I need to write fiction about because my ability to express it any other way is failing me. Thatâs just about the highest praise I could give, really, Novik sure knows how to plant interesting seeds in her stories lol
- for the record this is not how I wanted him to end up in laurenceâs bed
(im not thinking too much about how he got hurt b/c if I do Iâll start crying and thatâll just be embarrassing for everyone)
- âI hope you will forgive my mentioning it, Will,â Tharkay said, eventually, rousing Laurence from his reverie. â -- I recognize there is a certain pot-calling quality to my doing so under the circumstances, but have you noticed that the top of your head appears likely to come off?â
a) my love for him is just. so pure. so complete. so deep b) consistent first name basis; the one sure way to make me swoon c) the implication that heâs just been quietly watching laurence while he was lost in thought... im so soft
- oh god laurence very gently helping out demane and roland because he remembers now....... i cry and my tears are blood welcome back buddy
- âI am of the opinion,â Tharkay said, âthat you ought not assign to free will something more likely the consequence of a sharp blow to the skull.â
he truly is the gift that keeps giving. an endless cornucopia of sarcasm and delight. we do not deserve him. Â
- [The man he was eight years ago] would not have valued his own feelings, on such a matter, higher than the law and the discipline of the service. *AIRHORN AIRHORN AIRHORN* there we have it folks thatâs literally his character arc spelled out, he would have done SO MUCH BAD SHIT because he thought his own feelings didnât matter and yet he chose another direction, stupendous, brilliant, revolutionary
also him trying to get his support across to both of them in as roundabout and discreet way as possible... laurence you beautiful disaster
- im just so happ. so happy. so happy temeraire has his dumb dad back
- oh so the russians think the BRITISH, of all people, are too soft on their dragons... ruh-roh
- sdfskadlfj yes good tharkay the ROBES (also the implied depth of fond schadenfreude-tinged amusement contained in that âthose particularly magnificent robesâ.... *prayer hands emoji*)
laurence is like ET TU BABE?????
I think this is very delicate gong su speak for âplease do not be a dumb bitch your majestyâ
hahaha chu knows whatâs up -- I am growing desperately fond of him, please donât have him suffer any cop-one-day-from-retirement style accident
- âIf I may cut your Gordian knot,â Tharkay said, with a glint in his eye. fdsklfhsdkflhdsakjfhdskjh remember back in black powder war when he was all closed off and phlegmatic and purposefully distant... and here he is... with a glint in his eye and a crazy ass plan that requires other people and that he actually shares before pulling it off and calling laurence by first name in public......... weâve come so far
- Also this means heâs close enough to Laurenceâs height and build that he can wear his clothes without it looking weird, which is nice to know because Laurence is sometimes more preoccupied with describing what men are wearing than, yâknow, what they look like lol. (probably not quite as broad in the shoulders, tho, since itâs pointed out every time laurence is described that he has shoulders like a linebacker)
- temeraire: eXCUSE me god didnât do this the emperor of china did???!?! rude???
- pffffffffff tharkay and chu being jaded world-weary bros for a second there... this is what I read these books for folks
- NOOOOOOOOOOO chu this is the one thing I asked you NOT to do D: temeraire being sad and scared about it is slowly murdering me, thank god laurence is back online for him
- dunno this napoleon dude sounds pretty great and all but this also sounds suspiciously... like trying to invade russia in the winter time. immovable force and unstoppable object or something. I mean I donât read history so I donât know. might be a great idea. whoâs to say.
- I see that tharkay and laurence have reached the âcommunicating complex information solely through eyebrow movementsâ stage of their relationship. *drinks this excellent excellent OTP juice with both hands*
- god I love how cool temeraire!napoleon is, in a strangely believable way. heâs just so weirdly charismatic and novik is SO GOOD at setting up a situation so you understand just how brilliant a move heâs made whenever he seems to be backed into a corner and turns it all around. I kind of want him to win at this point (though tbf all of europe fucking sucked at this time so like he doesnât have to doll it up TOO much to look better by comparison haha)
- boooyyyy Laurence is P I S S E D (also him being like ??? :D that the general basically agreed with him lol)
ALSO also the fact that laurence does not realize that heâs like the fucking horror story all the major authorities around the globe tell each other at night... fjksdfhsdkjlhf
ah russia. truly consistently one of the most shit places to be a peasant or apparently a dragon through so much of history.
- junichiro Y__________Y no wonder laurence is so protective of him, heâs finally met someone as stubbornly stupidly ~*honorable*~ as himself. godspeed bb boy I wish you only the best even though I know your story line is never properly brought up again
- I ship... roland and demane... so much. like with my heart. sheâs so young and earnest and curious and misses him so much and casually scandalizes alice about it fsjdakfjhds
- well I mean. dragons eating people is clearly not  g r e a t  but also... karma. yâknow?
- this is a lot of words to use to convey the sentiment âoh they are all so fuuuuuuuuuuuuuckedâ naomi novik
(feels a little like she wrote herself into a corner here tho -- sheâs set up such an impossible situation, in RUSSIA in the WINTERTIME, that Iâd need a hell of a lot of convincing to believe they get out of it)
- aaaah okay I really enjoyed this one too, especially the first half! I feel like this series is often at its most inspired when it sticks to a tighter character focus (for example I still vividly recall the part in the first book where Laurence stays in his fatherâs house and itâs Bad. relatedly........ F U C K lord allendale), and this brought that in spades. I love this series so much, itâs shamefully underappreciated in the speculative fiction world.
also it brought *me* to my knees with a simple âTenzing,â [Laurence] said, which... holy shit. fuck. damn. thatâs my personal recommendation of this book, tbh, even beyond my wish for this series to be more appreciated within the genre: Tharkay was there and it was very gay and non-obnoxious soulmate vibes???? I never even thought it could be done but here we are
This is probably going to be my last reaction thingy for the foreseeable future, since my local library doesnât have book 9 and honestly... having read a few summaries of what happens in it Iâm not that keen on reading it? Thatâs not the ending to this story I want, so Iâll just live over here in denialville, I-realize-the-author-made-the-choice-to-not-make-further-use-of-Lien-AKA-THE-coolest-antagonist-in-this-series-and-indeed-did-not-wrap-up-numerous-character-arcs-or-plot-lines-but-I-donât-like-this-choice-so-Iâll-ignore-it
(actually I do sort of appreciate the idea of not having one grand final duel or something, because thatâs not how it usually works in real life, but that sheâd just shrug and not mercilessly hunt for the revenge sheâs so clearly motivated by when everything she loves is falling apart around her again... thatâs too much of a letdown to bear, really)
let me just... live in willful ignorance and pretend anything could happen from this point onward haha.
- let me give a final shout out to my boy gong su, whoâs been hanging around since book 2 (!) and yet we do not know One Single personal detail about him for certain except that he sure knows how to handle knives. thatâs some good spy shit right there, he knows what heâs about
#temeraire#blood of tyrants#willzing#william laurence x tenzing tharkay#aaaaaaaaand last one for a while! I had a lot of fun with this one even though I lost focus for weeks at a time at some points haha#that's not the book's fault that's very much a me problem
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