#I truly was half-asleep when I was responding 😅

[twenty-orange-balloons]

Okay, I think I really didn't word my JGY post very well, so I am gonna restate it just once, while I am not half-asleep and giving myself no time to think my words through in order to respond to someone.

What I meant to say –

I don't think talking would have helped much and I don't think "Friendship is magic" bullshit would have worked and saved everyone.

Honestly, talking would probably have done shit. I was just spitballing on that post, my impulsive ADHD brain working ahead of my rational brain. That's why it's tagged cell rambles, because most of the time it's a 'top of the head' post.

So I will try to be a little more understandable/coherent in my reasoning for my dislike of Jin Guangyao.

What upsets me about Jin Guangyao, is that he has choices and when those choices backfire he blames other people.

I am not saying he has choices for everything he does or that he can always choose the one he wants. I just mean, he does have choices at some points. And when he makes those choices and then blames other people for them, it's annoying.

You can't deny that Jin Guangyao was never forced to do some of the things he did. Most probably, yeah, but some of it? No.

Especially after his father died, after he killed him in a Humiliating and Disgusting manner. Did the man deserve it? Yeah, he most likely did. Was Jin Guangyao forced to do it the way he did? No, he wasn't.

I understand he was dealt a shit hand at birth and people around him constantly reminded him of that. But just like in real life, you can choose how to react to it. Though, I agree that he didn't really have much options in that regard, because pretty much everyone around him was cruel and abusive towards him or didn't have the leverage to help him.

The thing that pisses me off the most about Jin Guangyao and ultimately why I don't like him and believe he was the cause of his own death, is because some of those choices he made, killing NMJ, maybe his son, continuing demonic cultivation research, letting Xue Yang live, etc.. was unnecessary/avoidable. Yet he acted like he was forced to do them.

That is why I don't like him.

Because he plays the victim after causing so much shit to happen to other people and acting as if he didn't have a choice in the matter.

You can see that clearly the moment before he dies, the way he turns from threatening everyone to pleading with Lan Xichen, acting like a victim, like he was forced to kidnap everyone and threaten to kill them, when he was the whole reason they were there in the first place.

He told Lan Xichen he didn't want to hurt him but threatened his brother right in front of him as if he believed that wouldn't hurt him.

He killed Nie Mingjue and then when the consequences of that, Nie Mingjue's corpse that he chopped up and spread around, came back, he acted like Nie Mingjue deserved it and he was forced to kill him, trying to plead that he didn't have a choice. He 100% had a choice.

It's the playing victim to things he's not a victim of, that upsets me. Not that he is/was/can be a victim. But that he plays one when he isn't. That's what I hate about him.

Side note: When I said he ultimately caused his own death, I meant his decision to kill Nie Mingjue. As soon as that thought crossed his mind, his death was already going to happen, because Nie Huaisang would never have let him live after finding out. That was supposed to be an entirely separate thought but I don't think I made that clear in the first post lol it really was just an impulsive, no thoughts, annoyed fueled ramble.

And maybe my post did come across as idyllic, as if talking would have saved him and kept everything bad from happening, I didn't mean it like that, as I said, it was an impulsive, no thought ramble. Of course I said something stupid lmao I really need to double check my impulsive rambles before posting them.