#I tried using sandpaper but it wasn't a good experience and I tried using an xacto knife but obvs the handle gets in the way

[unbearable-lightness-of-ink]

friends who bookbind, what's the best way to cut/smooth the text block without spending my month's grocery budget on a book plough??

[darkmatters-ghost]

I don't know why I feel the need to share this, maybe it's because it's been on my mind and it's 2:41 am and it's currently the "time is sludge... Again" part of the insomniac experience, but I want to talk about this. (This talks about my experience with happy stimming under the cut)

It was several years ago when I saw this comic of someone's happy stimming. She, like, waves her arms around and builds up this lovely yellow hue, and it's sparkly and then she expels all of it as at once and- it's truly a wonderful comic. I don't know where it is now. But it really captures the right feeling. And it was so cool... But I was kind of... I feel bad using strong words like "mortified" but that's the best way to say it.

Because Stimming was one of the many, MANY things I have in common with our lovely autistic community. And we're entering a world where people are starting to be able to be who we are and act how we feel, and I knew from the moment I saw it, that something was wrong. I didn't have a happy stim.

Most people who stim are forced to stop because humans are so bad at appreciating the abnormal, and that never happened to me. I'm lucky! But I didn't have a happy stim. And I knew I was supposed to. I immediately knew that. Knew it about me, me as a person. I knew it. There was a hole in me that was taken and I didn't know why! And it was terrifying.

And I kept thinking, And and I kept digging.

I knew about physical stims. With your hands and your feet and your hair. Most of my stims were those. I'd bounce my leg under a table, I tap the pads of my fingers together with my thumb if I was a specific kind of anxious, I move the bones in my wrists back to where they're supposed to be to try and fix things instinctually.

All of those were to get less anxious though. And my mother was always so open to things like that. So willing to learn about every diagnosis and piece of information that needed researching.

I knew about vocal stims. While most people were forced to stop for more crummy society reasons, that wasn't the case for me. I just... Didn't have any? I enjoy talking, I enjoy singing but they weren't... That comic. They didn't have the yellow feel-good-ness. They didn't have The thing.

I like swinging on swingsets. The momentum is nice. I think that counts as a stim but I usually did it to help, wouldn't-cha know it, anxiety. Help me sleep at night. It wasn't the thing.

In my house, you didn't listen to songs on repeat. My mother would lose it. You didn't loop songs in the car, it'd drive her batty. She'd probably have a panic attack. So I never thought of it as a thing? It didn't occur to me. When I got my own pair of headphones, I wouldn't drive her crazy by listening to anything on loop, I could go forever if I wanted. But I didn't. It wasn't a thing and I was apprehensive about it, that's not a thing we do. Don't to it. Even when my mind got loud about playing things on loop, I tried not to let it overcome me. That's not a thing. People don't do that. And I'd long since settled with the dismal answer of never knowing what the stim was. I hadn't even thought of checking because sounds like asmr hurt like sandpaper on my brain.

But recently, I don't know, something changed? I reeeally needed to hear this song again. So I went to the instrumental. And it was great there. I went to the vocal only, it was just the goodest sound. I went to covers and back and eventually I just let it play. I really let it smoosh into my head and memorized the instruments and felt them. It was like following a groove in a table by tracing your finger across it. It was just. The thing. I actually lost sleep because I was enjoying myself so much. I was so happy!

I talked with my mother about it. "I dunno, I really really wanted to hear that song over and over? it has a BAGPIPE in the second verse! Who wouldn't want to hear that!?"

"yeah, I could never do that. I guess my misophonia is too strong for that."

It was so eye opening. Misophonia. It was her misophonia, she'd never used that word before. And it hit me like a ton of bricks. Listening to this song on loop isn't bad, it's just a me thing.

And that's when I realized that I'd found the thing. I'd finally found my happy stim. I've decided to not cry about it, but this was such wonderful news. It's needlessly specific, and I don't know why my kid mind had labed "no looping" as Gospel? I mean there's a button for it and everything. But it's my thing.

I may never have some visible stim that people will see but I have my thing and I'm so beyond society possibly judging me.

I am on ADD meds, have overstimulation issues, anxiety, truly frightening physical disabilities I fight all beneath the surface. And I play the songs that have the thing about them on loop for five hours at a time. And I think I love me for it.

Whoever you are, you're you. You're more you than anyone else. That is something beautiful. You like Fanfic, go for it! You like art? Go for it! You like flapping your hands? Go for it! You like judging Disney for its questionable decisions as of late? Try not to kill them too much. They only mostly deserve it.

Being you is a gift that you should cherish, and reward yourself by being you. Not someone else.

For those that read this whole thing, the song in question is I've Had Enough of You from Billie Bust Up, a video game musical that's currently in development. Listen to all the stuff that's out so far, every song I've heard knocks it out of the park. Listen to it on loop if you want! I think we've established that listening to songs on loop does not, in fact, summon Satan.

Happy Stimming! (why does that sound like a holiday now?)

[not-that-dillinger]

Flynn glanced at Sequel, mentally cursing him as he pointed out that they would just pull him out again. Of course that was the plan, but he didn't want Rinzler to know.

He almost didn't hear Sequel's next words and didn't process them until Rinzler suddenly let go of him and he stumbled backward.

What was Sequel playing at? There was no way Flynn wanted him messing with his computer.

...Except, it would have him out of the way while he retook Encom, unable to report back to his father now that he knew about the digitization laser, and it would deprive fCon of a potential asset.

It would be easier to control him while he was on the Grid, and he could restrict his access and revoke permissions to reduce damage. And Flynn could get him to fix the Grid, update it to modern standards. The security on the kids own computer was impressive, and it would keep him busy and out of trouble. He'd have to work on it once Sequel finished with security so he couldn't exploit any known weaknesses, but it would give him a solid baseline to work with.

At last, he acquiesced.

---

Ed took a deep breath to calm himself, then took a step forward to join Rinzler in front of the laser. He closed his eyes, and tried to think of the warmth of the sun on his face that morning, the wind in his hair and the sound of the cicadas in the San Gabriel's at night. He tried to recall the soft warmth of Clack's feathers under his fingers, the smell and taste of his favorite tea.

Everything he would never experience again.

He opened his eyes and found himself back on the Grid.

Everything was in disarray. Ed wasn't sure what had happened since the last time he'd been there that could have caused such chaos. It certainly couldn't have been been Flynn's absence, considering he'd been out of commission when Ed first arrived. Though it seemed like nobody was in control any more....

Flynn must have done something to Clu and left a power vacuum.

Whatever the case, Rinzler seemed to have an idea what was up. Ed followed in subdued silence. He knew more or less what he was getting into when he suggested going with Rinzler, but the order still grated on him, like sandpaper on his skin.

It's for the better, that Rinzler chose the Grid's version of an automobile, considering Ed had never ridden a motorcycle before. And considering that Rinzler already seemed frustrated when Ed was doing his best to keep up, Ed expected that that would be a quick way to end up with his head bashed in or Rinzler doing something equally unpleasant to him.

Ed flinched, and took a step backward. "You do not have to be so aggressive," he said, taking a deep breath. He eyed Rinzler warily, then the vehicle. He took another deep breath, then reluctantly climbed into the passenger seat.

"You have to give me a second to process and react, you know?" he said. Then he realized. "You're expecting me to act like a program, but I'm not. Humans--users... I'm not a neurscientist, I don't know the specifics of how the brain works, but it's like I'm running on slower hardware. My reaction times are usually good, but I'm still human. I have physical limitations." He sighed. As much as he hated to admit it, it was better to tell Rinzler now than for him to find out when Ed had a bad day. "Because I don't want it to be a surprise when it happens... there will be days where my energy for the day is very limited, like that fist day at my house. Days where I'll be slower and there's nothing either of us can do but wait it out. I know it's frustrating, just... be patient with me. Please."

Flynn twisted and dropped, trying to escape Rinzler's grip. He wouldn't--couldn't go back. He'd already missed so much of his life--so much of his son's life. He still hadn't seen Sam yet, and he certainly couldn't go back without talking to his son, without telling him why he'd disappeared. He had so much to make up for.

"I can't, Rinzler," he said. "I don't belong on the Grid. My life is out here."

---

Ed watched the scuffle silently. As much as Flynn going back to the Grid--and staying there--would prevent Flynn from firing him, Alan would never forgive him for siding with Rinzler, and Ed would never be able to live with knowing what he'd done.

He'd spent his entire adult life trying to carve out a space for him to be himself, trying to escape his father's shadow and prove that he was a better man than his father.

If he let Rinzler take Flynn, he would be no better than his abuser.

And in that moment, the future was clear.

Even if Rinzler took Flynn back to the Grid, Alan knew about it now, and he would pull Flynn out within a week. Flynn would have the company back by the end of the month, and Ed could expect to lose his job by the end of the next. His reprieve would only ever be temporary.

His life would be over.

His reprieve--and his life--were coming to an end, anyway. The restraining order that had protected him the past decade would expire by the end of the year, and the judge so far had refused to renew it for a second time.

If he was fired, his father would make sure the only place that would hire him was fCon, and if he somehow managed to avoid getting fired, his father would make good on his threat to kidnap him once the restraining order expired.

Ed would rather die than be stuck under his father's control again. He'd rather anything than that.

There was only one path forward that Ed would survive. The clarity of his path was a small comfort and the only thing that kept him calm as he took a small step forward.

He froze in place when Rinzler told him to back up, and Flynn hissed in pain from the enforcer's grip.

"You're not going to succeed," Ed said quietly. "Even...even if you manage too get him back to the Grid, his allies will just pull him back out again."

He shoved a hand into a pocket, and clenched his cleaning cloth in his fist, determined not to fidget as all eyes turned to him.

"What if--" Ed took a tiny step backward, feeling small and anxious by what he was about to suggest. He took a deep breath, in through his his nose and out through his mouth in attempt to ease the rising anxiety.

"What if I went with you?" he asked. He meant to sound confident, but ultimately just sounded small. "I won't fight you, just-- don't... don't touch me--don't try to herd me. I'll do it I just-- it needs to be on my terms."

[csleko]

"Pirates" Aztec Gold Medallion Cast

Early on in my adventures in 3D printing, I saw some comments on using printed models to make molds for casting other materials like metal. I thought that sounded extremely interesting, and wanted to look into trying it out, but I really didn't want to blow hundreds of dollars on smelting equipment on what could easily amount to a brief experiment.

THEN I recently learned that pewter has such a low melting point that it can be melted on a stovetop. So instead of spending hundreds of dollars on stuff for smelting and casting, so I could spend tens of dollars and be able to make use of a lot of on-hand materials and equipment such as a hotplate and an old pot.

ANYWAY. This new knowledge re-sparked my interest in trying metal casting with molds made from 3D prints. So...I made a mold from a 3D print. (Which you can find here on Thingiverse!)

It came out a little messy, but usable! It's been a really long time since I've made a plaster mold. The most important thing is patience, because the "wait 24 hours to fully harden and dry" on the carton of plaster powder isn't just a suggestion. I ruined my first attempt at making the mold because it wasn't fully dry when I tried to take the resin medallion out and it took a lot of the plaster with it.

So that in itself was a whole thing, but once I had a usable mold, it was time to get my hands on some pewter. You can find pewter stuff to melt down in thrift stores, but I was not so lucky. The two pieces I managed to find turned out to be made of some kind of steel that was meant to LOOK like pewter.

So much for finding a cheap supply. I ended up having to buy a large ingot of the stuff from Amazon.

But hey, at least it's guaranteed to actually be pewter, and I was thus actually able to get it to melt in the pot on a hotplate. Success!

Using a ladle, I carefully poured the molten metal into the mold, then poured the rest into the dollar store muffin tin to divide it into smaller ingots that will melt faster the next time I do this. All we need to do now is wait for the stuff in the mold to cool, then see if it worked!

And it did! Mostly! Honestly, with this being my first time ever casting metal, I consider it an absolute win that it came out as good as it did even though it's pretty rough looking.

Cleaned up the edges with a rotary tool. I thought maybe I could smooth it out a bit with some fine sandpaper, but it didn't really seem to have much effect.

This project is also my first time trying out Rub N' Buff. I hoped to get a much more shiny finish, but I think the roughness of the casting hindered those efforts. I probably could've just used my gold spray paint and gotten similar results.

That said, the goal of this project was to try out some new techniques and make mistakes to learn from, so MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

[vampiricsheep]

hellooooo and thank you as always for the opportunity to talk about my OCs! I don't think I have a single allo cishet character, but I'll try to limit this to just a few of my darlings for brevity's sake.

___________

Banni is agender, and they've known who they are since they first sprung free from the pod. Unfortunately, how they emerged didn't correspond to how they felt they should be - so they took matters into their own hands in regards to top surg. (A side result of this is that their wooden chest is sandpaper smooth, unlike the leaf-layered nature of most of their body.)

They haven't always had it easy in regards to "passing" - they're quite small, and their soft features and softer voice are oft cited excuses when others are corrected. Over time, though, they've gotten stronger and firmer in their corrections of others, and that boldness has lessened the necessity to do so.

(As a meta point, a lot of banni's experiences correspond to my own, especially at the time I first made them. Their characteristics are not drawn from stereotype, but rather lived experience.

As another meta note, they've had a LOT of remakes and TMKs over time, which, while not intentional, does follow nicely with their changes over time!)

____

Amir is a transmasc demiboy, and he'll tell you himself he's Gay with a capital G. Unlike Banni, he wasn't really compelled to go through body modification, but he does bind - and he has quite the collection of fashionable binders. [If you've ever browsed Shapeshifter's shop, you've got a good idea of the kinds! Shameless plug, but they were my go-to before my own surg, and are wayyyy more comfortable than gc2b and underworks.]

He's one of a set of rose-sylvari quadruplets, and when he first emerged, he was conjoined to one of them, his sister Fenn. They shared a leg - his left, her right - and though menders were able to separate them, and did their best to regrow the limb for him, it was with the remnant tissue from his thornier sibling, which never truly adapted to him. He can still walk on it, but it's very stiff and doesn't bend well, so he tends to limit his walking about and uses his mes magic for portals to deal with stairs and similar obstacles.

Disability doesn't keep him homebound, though, and he and Fenn wander Tyria as travel vloggers, always seeking the most stunning vistas and the best hidden-gem shops to highlight in their videos. He's also a passionate baker, and will make all sorts of goods to give away in baskets. He'll also teach others, provided they pay attention, and while he tries not to be, he can be a little snobby about ingredients. ("Why use powdered cocoa when you can use real chocolate?" My own answer is that it's easier to work with.)

_________________

ok I was gonna add Winter but this is already WAY too long so, yknow, just know that it's agender and in Love with the nb god of death so, yea. Also it's a transmutation sorc so its body is just Whatever It Feels Like in the day-to-day. goals honestly

✨Happy Pride Month✨

As a fun celebration, share your queer/lgbt toons on this post! Let’s celebrate together the variety of wonderful characters made in this fandom 💖

As usual, every reblog with a character will get a response and will be tagged at #alt-fun. I love how creative y’all are!!!