#I took some nighttime flu pills and passed out last night | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

aneysuuchwaan · 2 years ago

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The scariest night of my life.

Before our AZ-UT trip last weekend, I was already feeling sick with all the change of weather we’ve had in OC lately. I can no longer cancel the trip given that we already booked up all our Airbnb stay and Antelope Canyon tour which was quite expensive, to say the least.

I was able to manage all my nagging flu symptoms until that one Sunday evening. We arrived in Vegas from Utah at 9 pm and desperate for relief, I turned to my friends for help. James, who lives in Vegas, offered flu medication while he suggested me to take CBD gummies to ease my discomfort and ensure a restful sleep during the journey home given that I have work the next day.

I took both pills hoping for a relief from my symptoms and a chance to rest. Yet, what followed literally shook me to my core.

It was about an hour passed the time I took the gummy that I felt a creeping numbness spread through my body, a sensation both alienating and alarming. I thought it was just a mere paranoia for me and I tried to focus on the road ahead, but my mind had other plans. The next thing I know, I was already seeing a series of vivid images and surreal sights in my head.

Cartoon characters from childhood memories grinned at me while rainbows with eyes winked knowingly as if giddy to see me. Every object, every shadow seemed to take on a life of its own, morphing into grotesque caricatures of themselves. If you remember who Madeline was, that cartoon character I used to watch back when I was young in Disney? I've seen her frequently in my head as if seeing her old friend back.

The mere fact that we were driving back from Vegas at nighttime and that we still had 4hours ahead of us was more than enough for me to comprehend. I wanted to believe that it was due to my first time taking CBD gummies and maybe I would feel better in the next couple of minutes.

Minutes later as I tried to be in denial of what was happening, I could now feel my palpitation. I could feel my heart beating fast, and I started to panic. Given that we were still in the middle of the desert, I started to feel anxious about what was about to happen combined with the sound of the running engine at 80mph and the unappealing music from the radio. I asked my boyfriend to roll down the windows a bit so I could breathe some air. The next thing I knew, I was shaking and I wanted to vomit. I told them to pull over the car at the nearest town, and I’m glad we went to Thermometer; a town before the 60-mile desert stretch. No exits, no towns. Just the vastness of the desert.

We parked at the grocery store and I started to vomit when I got out of the car. I can feel both my arms and legs shaking not because of the cold given how cold it was in Vegas but because it was like my body’s involuntary response from the palpitation. I asked if they could call 911 and so I can go to the nearest hospital. At this point, I was already panicking that breathing fresh air didn’t help.

My sister’s boyfriend studied the CBD gummy I took and the moment I went in the car again, he said I only took a 15 mg THC gummy with 0% CBD. Meaning, the reason why I was intoxicated and high was that I technically only took THC gummies and the fact that I also took flu medications at the same time. When taking THC, it was known to give you temporary psychotic episodes which was similar to what I just had to go through.

I thought I was on drug overdose, but my brain function was typically heightened by the 2 things I took that night.

We stayed at Thermometer for 2 hours more at 1 am, and I feel like I could not go through the same ordeal of seeing things in my head while in a running vehicle. So many things triggered my panic attack that I could no longer feel my hands and feet. I asked them to pinch me so hard but little to no effect. Good thing my boyfriend, who is an RN, was there to manually check my pulse using his two fingers. He said my pulse rate was 190 then went down to 120 in 20 minutes. (Going back to this entry, he lied that night. He said my pulse rate never went down. He only said that so I wouldn't panic).

After 2 hours of staying there, we decided to move ahead because we no longer felt safe in the area. Bea saw 3 men coming our way, maybe trying to break in at least but realized that there were people inside. It triggered my palpitations again, and I was trying to calm myself down.

What I realized from this experience of getting high was how my brain works marvelously.

Back on the road again, I can feel my heart beating fast. But I don’t know how these two things transpired that suddenly I can hear 2 voices inside my head.

The name of the other entity was Eva, and the next was Duffy.

Whenever my brain gives me a snippet of my adult problems, like working later today, and I couldn’t call off, Eva would address them. I don’t know how she did it, but I know I calmed down each time I addressed the thoughts to Eva. She felt as though she was my adult alter-ego. I talked to her whenever I lifted my head straight.

Duffy, on the other hand, addressed my childhood nostalgia, and she made me calm way more than Eva did. Talking to her is when I put my head down. This area where Duffy exists usually was where I could feel my heartbeat slow down. Especially when I see more familiar things in my head from the past, like how my school paper looked back in 2nd grade and even forcing myself to play the soundtrack of DN Angel in my head. These two imaginary people in my head were the reason why I survived the 3hour drive from Vegas to California. If they weren’t there, I would have a panic attack again. It was as if my mind was helping me cope with what stressed me out the most.

I know all these things I mentioned sounded silly and crazy, but it did happen. I never thought I would live this day to tell the tale of me getting high unintentionally. And you know how I don’t even have bad habits like smoking and drinking alcohol but getting high was a new thing for me. It was the first time in my life that I felt like I had a close life-and-death encounter. I felt like dying that night, but Eva and Duffy were like my cruise control - they kept me sane and protected from my toxic thoughts.

Although it was one of the scariest nights of my entire life, I think the whole ordeal of getting high like m*f* was fascinating, to say the least.

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