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tsainami · 6 years ago

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wip prep tag #2

tagged by: @isherwrites tysm!! sorry it took this long to get to.

rules: answer the questions and then tag as many writers as there are questions answered (or as many as you can) to spread the positivity! even if these questions are not explicitly brought up in the novel, they are still good to keep in mind when writing.

last time i did this it was for cheat (which you can find here), this time i’ll do grave mercy.

FIRST LOOK

1. describe your novel in 1-2 sentences (elevator pitch).

a girl against a theocracy (but for its religion) and a boy against its religion (but for the theocracy) who have very ? confusing ? backgrounds ? (and are vampires) somehow end up meeting while investigating a cannibalistic angel. they end up doing something ridiculous together: unraveling ‘god.’

2. How long do you plan for your novel to be? (Is it a novella, single book, book series, etc.)

as far as i can see where the plot’s going, probably a trilogy.

3. What is your novel’s aesthetic?

vampires. religious ones! in priestly/nun-ly (not a word) clothing! which comes in mostly white or bright colors because they’re not fans of black vestments. black armor yes, black clothes no. and since there’s vampires, there’s blood. but also gore. and also cults. and devils, angels, monsters, conspiracy! plus a lot of french gothic architecture.

4. What other stories inspire your novel?

book of the ancestor trilogy by mark lawrence. if you’ve read it, it’s probably obvious.

5. Share 3+ images that give a feel for your novel.

i haven’t done any edits for this a whole either rip. it’s not much right now, but here’s its pinterest board.

MAIN CHARACTER

6. Who is your protagonist?

my main protagonist is a girl called ines nenci. she’s a novice at a convent known (or, unknown) to reform young girls whose faith are tainted.

7. Who is their closest ally?

her closest friend is this younger novice named dafne who she constantly worries about and is very protective of. she views dafne as her closest ally, and throughout the story she retains that sentiment. objectively speaking though, it’s probably reuven. after they meet and her fight or flight response when it comes to him calms down lol.

8. Who is their enemy?

the theocracy. namely the ava santi who sits at its head. and also herself.

9. What do they want more than anything?

this is going to sound anticlimactic maybe, but emotional comfort and security. ines really just wants to stop having to be scared all the time. stop having to hold on to anger and allow herself to finally express her hurt and pain after all the years she’s spent oppressing it. she wants to depend on someone and be able to trust them instead of just being the one depended on while in truth she’s just being manipulated. she honestly just. wants. inner peace (lol).

10. Why can’t they have it?

there are many reasons. let’s start with a few minor obstacles in the shape of people who keep her alive solely for the purpose of using her to further their ambitions: 1. the abbess of the convent. this chick keeps ines in her house only to serve as a tool in her plot of overthrowing the theocracy. the convent’s pretty much a facade for this group of heretics to eventually hold some sort of rebellion. but they’re being really dirty about it. 2. the ava santi (aka ye olde pope). he killed her dad. he was also supposed to kill her, but this amazing idea popped up in his brain and he decided “nay, send her to the convent dear men o’mine.” reasons for this is because a) he hates that fucking place and has wanted it dead for years and b) he can’t touch that fucking place because politics and also One Deep and Dark Secret that would cost his position and probs life should it be exposed. 3. the so-called cannibalistic angel she meets, whose reasons for using her are too spoilery to share at the moment. but it’s got something to do with the one ‘god’ of their faith.

11. What do they wrongly believe about themselves?

that she’s cursed. it’s repeated a lot in the first chapter, actually. her dad’s death and some of his last words really drilled it in her. and it makes sense, because her existence is scorned by the faith and she learns more and more about this (with the misfortune of having to witness her papa burn ffs as lesson 1 of all things) as she grows up.

12. Draw your protagonist! (Or share a description)

she’s got thick, wavy black hair. pretty long (goes up to mid-back i think) and it’s always braided and then tied up into a low bun. she’s always wearing her habit (which is white) and even if she isn’t she tries to wear something close (usually white too) because it makes her feel secure. she has a black cloak she wears when she goes walking around the capital or the woods (that she really and i mean really knows how to work, especially when she’s killing something so not too much of nasty stuff stains her clothes). usually armed to the teeth. hidden blades everywhere. though you can’t really see that i guess.

sometimes, she carries a sword.

PLOT POINTS

13. What is the internal conflict?

ines is moroi, which is a race that is treated little better than rabid dogs are in montevena. there aren’t many moroi in existence any more because of wars that involved genocide long ago + the fact that as moroi all you have to do to get sentenced to death sometimes is to accidentally bump into someone. anyway, her internal conflict mostly revolves around her struggle between hating what she is and yet having to depend so heavily on it. she wants to separate herself from being moroi, but that’s impossible since she has to face it everyday. even if people weren’t there to remind her, her body can’t lie. she really, really hates it but there’s no other choice but to live with it.

14. What is the external conflict?

everyone is against the theocracy for their own reasons and the theocracy is against everyone. the teams switch up sometimes though and things get wild when a cannibalistic angel appears and the OG residents of the world, the devil-gods, get weaved into the mayhem (did i mention this takes place in an au hell? because it does).

15. What is the worst thing that could happen to your protagonist?

if ines is put through what she went through as a child, having her world break like that (it wasn’t only her dad’s death, it was all the things about the world she was totally clueless about because up until then her dad had limited her knowledge of it, so her whole life was a big fat lie), it would be B A D. the people currently capable of hurting her that way is an older nun from the abbey named sister aura and dafne.

16. What secret will be revealed that changes the course of the story?

huge spoilers so i’ll be vague. something monumentally of relevance to not just ines or reuven, but the whole world is a total sham. also if you can believe it or not, aliens are involved (but it totally isn’t what it sounds like lmao).

17. Do you know how it ends?

a little, but not too well right now.

BITS AND BOBS

18. What is the theme?

there’s an absolute truth to everything. but a lot of the times it gets corrupted by people with ill-bred intentions. that doesn’t mean the truth itself is horrible, though. so it’s always good to discriminate and keep in mind that, just like that guy who yells about global warming but clearly doesn’t know what he’s talking about while he goes ‘round the world in private jets that secrete shit tons of shit, sometimes we don’t know everything either.

19. What is a recurring symbol?

i have no idea. (yet)

20. Where is the story set? (Share a description!)

a city-state called montevena which is loosely based off of vatican city but much more french gothic and kinda creepy. later the story moves through parts of canza, one of the three sanctified states that reuven is from.

21. Do you have any images or scenes in your mind already?

yes. predominantly one that occurs in a cave.

22. What excited you about this story?

the development of the characters. particularly ines, reuven, gabriele, dafne, hazael, mirta and other supporting characters (including the abbess and the ava). it’s just... so interesting. i low-key had a mindfuck about it.

23. Tell us about your usual writing method!

a copy paste from my previous post on this:

my method is freak out! write a sentence. think about useless things (why would a pigeon be at the city square at night? that doesn't make sense? is it a normal pigeon? what is the purpose of its life?). try not to get distracted (i always do though) and write another sentence.

the day i’m 92 is the day i finally have two fully written novels with my name plastered all over them in my arms.

TAGGING: @brekkerings @pilipalea @apollchiles (if you guys haven’t done this yet) and anyone else who wants to.

#wip prep tag #wip: grave mercy #my back hurts. from writing in this cursed position. send help

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the-jennnster · 6 years ago

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Novel Prep: Stars

I was tagged by @arynneva!

First Look

1. Describe your novel in 1-2 sentences (elevator pitch)

A criminal and the mechanic she’s kidnapped start out on what seems to be a short adventure, but as they get to know each other, secrets are revealed and enemies are met, forcing them into a fight with their country in the balance.

2. How long do you plan for your novel to be? (Is it a novella, single book, book series, etc.)

This is (I hope) the first in a trilogy, with a couple stories expanding off of it because there are some side characters in here whom I think definitely deserve to have their stories told.

3. What is your novel’s aesthetic?

Secrets admitted at midnight underneath the stars while avoiding all the shit of the world around you.

4. What other stories inspire your novel?

@marielubooks‘s Legend Trilogy was definitely a major inspiration. Cee, one of my main characters, is basically the Day/June lovechild lmao

ALSO HOW COOL IS IT THAT THERE’S GONNA BE A BOOK 4? AHHHH

5. Share 3+ images that give a feel for your novel

(All of these images were stolen from Pinterest btw)

6. Who is your protagonist?

I have two!

Cee - A criminal who’s supposedly ruthless and cruel and has a dark past she hides from everything.

Kyle - A mechanic who is working his ass off to support his family and isn’t used to doing things for himself

7. Who is their closest ally?

Besides each other, Cee and Kyle rely a lot on the Specialists later on in the book. Among these Specialists, the most important people are:

-Sixilia, a mischievous assassin whose past is dangerously intertwined with Cee’s

-Cat, a disgraced noble hardened by the struggles she’s gone through as both a trans woman and a mutate (my version of mutants lol)

-Blake, a hyperactive, happy-go-lucky disgraced soldier

-Hanna, a ex-gang member who’s lost everyone in her life, including her parents and girlfriend (who she was planning to marry)

8. Who is their enemy?

Daniela, a seventeen-year-old world-renowned genius, corrupted by an international organization hell-bent on destroying the American government.

9. What do they want more than anything?

Cee just wants to escape her past and be her own person, independent of the reputations she’s been forced to uphold in both the lives she’s led

Kyle just wants his family to be safe, to honor his mother’s memory, to let his sister live a life with choices, and to just be able to live.

10. Why can’t they have it?

Because Cee is burdened by the reputation of the infamous, cruel criminal she’s shaped herself out to be in her quest for respite and Kyle is struggling to work around the shitty governmental systems that make it difficult for a teenage boy to support his depressed, disabled father and toddler sister.

11. What do they wrongly believe about themselves?

Cee believes that she’s undeserving of love because of the things she’s gone through and the things she’s been forced to do in her life as a criminal and Kyle thinks his chance for a life outside of supporting his family is shot, seeing as he dropped out of school and has lost his chance at his own dreams.

12. Draw your protagonist! (Or share a description)

Cee and Kyle were actually drawn by @hestray, who I am very lucky to have! She’s my sounding board and listens to my ramble about this all the time!

Plot Points

13. What is the internal conflict?

The internal conflict revolves a lot about family, about what we owe to them and what we owe to ourselves. There’s also some classic morality about the value of life and death, and a sexuality crisis in there too for good measure.

14. What is the external conflict?

Daniela and her army, trying to dismantle the government, which would do the exact opposite of what she wants to do: put mutates on equal playing grounds with regular humans

15. What is the worst thing that could happen to your protagonist?

For Cee, if you told her that her brothers hated her, if you told her that her brothers had always hated her, if they told her they hated her... she’d be utterly wrecked she is utterly wrecked

Kyle would be a mess if somebody took his sister from him. Four years, he’s been fighting to keep her, to provide for her and give her a good life, giving up his own in the process. If she was taken from him, everything he’d done would be for nothing, and he’d be an absolute mess.

16. What secret will be revealed that changes the course of the story?

Cee’s real identity is a big one, because it’s a lot about her connections to Daniela and how big of a role she really plays in this whole “destroy the government” scheme.

17. Do you know how it ends?

Couple schemes, a few screaming matches, and a death that I hopes rocks people to their cores. I’d like to say I’ve got a decent idea, though things have changed.

Bits and Bobs

18. What is the theme?

I said this before for number 13, but it’s really about what we owe to our families and what we owe to ourselves. Cee and Kyle have very different approaches to their families, but both of them have made drastic decisions revolving around them. They each need to learn the balance between making decisions for their families and making decisions for themselves.

19. What is a reoccurring symbol?

The first one off the top of my head would be Cee’s hair, which in the beginning is long as a symbol to her freedom (because when she was young, it was kept short for practicality). At one point, she chops it off as a show that she’s given up that freedom and is back to working under someone’s thumb.

20. Where is the story set? (Share a description!)

The story is set in 2364, in a post-WWIII American Empire. The soldiers who fought in the war twenty years prior are traumatized and injured and their own children were genetically mutated thanks to the nuclear weaponry used during the fighting, causing them to grow up feared and discriminated against thanks to the deadly abilities that followed.

21. Do you have any images or scenes in your mind already?

I have a ton of scenes in my mind and nearly a hundred pages written for just this iteration (which is the fourth so far). This isn’t even counting all the expansions I’ve scribbled down between drafts.

22. What excited you about this story?

I’m really excited to tell these characters’ stories, first and foremost! Each of them, the main characters and the Specialists, have a lot that they’ve gone through and a lot to tell the world about it.

It’s also a test of my abilities to write heavier topics. Cee in particular has gone through a lot of shit, so it’s new ground for me to be tackling some of this stuff, and I hope I do it justice and write it in a way that allows people to understand this kind of stuff.

23. Tell us about your usual writing method!

Usually writing for me starts with whatever idea’s in my head for the moment. If it’s a scene I’ve been bouncing around for a while, it might have a song on my playlist, which I’ll then play over and over and over until the scene’s written to my liking.

Props to anyone who actually read the whole post lmfao. It’s a lot of my own bullshit, but if you’re actually interested in my story and characters, I’m begging you to let me know! Always craving that validation

NOW FOR TAGS!

@thegirlfairytalesforgot is the only one I can think of at the moment, but if any of my lovely followers have a passion project they’re working on, feel free to do the challenge and tag me when you post it! I’m always looking to read other peoples’ ideas!

#writing #my writing #wip: stars

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wroteasongabouther · 7 years ago

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fratboy!harry - part 17

so basically this was just going to be a blurb explaining alex and his relationship with y/n but it turned out to be like 5k words and good enough to be an official part so yeah enjoy lol -- give me feedback too!!

fratboy!harry tag >>> story page >>> pinterest inspiration board

The morning was quick and loud, reminding you of when you were just a kid - right down to Bailey being stuck to your leg the whole time. Only thing missing was Luke. Nagging you to get out of the shower, to stop playing your crappy Bieber music too loud, and you nagging him for a ride to school while he steal your sandwich so you have to make a new one. That all stopped during your senior year of high school, yet sometimes it felt like just yesterday. Especially today as you drive your mom’s car just out of town to your dad’s house where he’s obviously still asleep as you pound on the front door.

Luke’s death only added onto the crap your dad was going through in life. Mom left him, got married and had another kid, then your grandparents died so he took their house for himself here surrounded by green forest, and then Luke passed. It broke him. You frown while leaning over to hit the doorbell again.

“Dad,” you call through the door.

You hear some mumbling before the front door opens up and reveals your father. A smile tugs on your lips at the sight of him, you’ve missed him. Dressed in an old tshirt and flannel pajama pants, he wipes sleep from his hooded hazel eyes and stares at you.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” He asks, confusion on his face as you walk into his house.

“Dad,” you sigh, “we talked last month, I texted you yesterday after I landed,” you exclaim while setting your bag down on the couch. You don’t miss the few dirty dishes on the coffee table or the open bag of chips on the far side of the couch. Still a mess it seems.

“Oh, right, right,” he mumbles and shuts the front door. “Let me just get dressed really quick, make yourself at home,” he calls while making his way back upstairs to where the master bedroom was located in the small home.

When you were like five years old, your parents had bought the house your mom currently lived in. It was a perfect home for a perfect family. Till the perfect family fell apart, the screaming and fighting and then the lawyers and packing. It was tough. Your dad lived in an apartment for the first year, it was small and cramped up, then your grandma died and one week later your grandpa did. Although you were sure your dad didn’t want to, he moved into his dead parents house and barely had time to remodel the old people feel to it. But you liked it, it was good for him.

After about ten minutes of scrolling on your phone, looking through Instagram and Snapchat, you dad reappears and offers you some coffee. You turn around on the couch and watch him walk through the dining room into the small kitchen.

“I’m alright, thanks though,” you say.

“I was thinking,” your dad pauses as he enters the room with a fresh mug of coffee after a minute, “we should invite Alex although today,” he smiles.

“Uh,” you pause and shrug a shoulder, “sure,” you nod.

“You know, him and his family had me over for Thanksgiving,”

“Yeah, he mentioned that,”

“You guys still talk?” Your dad raises a brow.

“Not like that dad,” you chuckle, “not anymore,” you add while picking at the loose thread on your jeans.

“Why not? You and Alex were good, you know what they day distance makes the heart grow fonder,” your dad says. You give him a small smile but shake your head at him. “Oh come on, kiddo, the guy still loves ya. Don’t think he ever hasn’t, even after Luke’s warning,” your dads smile doesn’t reach his smile this time. Mentioning Luke still felt like a knife to the chest. But his statement add to the ache in your chest. You had Harry now, not that your father knew just yet, but something told you when you mentioned it he was gonna frown and go off on how perfect Alex was for you.

“I’ll shot him a text,” you say and pat his knee as he drinks his coffee.

hey i’m in town, my dad wants to know if you’d like to join us for breakfast??

Hey! Sure, what time?

probably like 30ish minutes, at iHop?

By the shore?

yes

Kk meet you guys there

“Lucky for you,” you pause and look at your dad, “Alex actually woke up a decent time today,”

“Oh good, it’ll be just like before ya left,” he smiles before standing up and disposing of his mug in the kitchen. You force another tight smile while standing up from the couch and gathering your purse and your moms keys again.

“We should get going, did you want to drive?” you ask your dad.

“Sure,” he nods and finds his own keys on the mess of the coffee table. “Meant to clean this up last night,” he mumbles, but you are well aware he’s lying.

Driving in your dad’s work truck takes you back to your younger days. When you’d push in your Jonas Brothers CD, crank it loud, roll down the window and catch your dad singing along with you. Of course that would all stop once you guys picked Luke up from hockey practice and he winced till you turned off your music. Now, you sat in the front seat looking out the window at the ferry boats on the sea and enjoyed the bit of silence between your two.

“The kid beat us here,” your dad bellows as he passes the hostess and sees Alex seated at a table by the window.

You turn away from the smiling hostess - whom you recognized from school, maybe a year younger than you - and look to where your dad was walking off to. Alex stands from his seat as your dad approaches him. He’s wearing some blue jeans, white shirt and a grey zip up sweater over top - and you can tell he’s definitely been working out.

“Hey coach,” Alex grins while embracing your dad in a hug. As he is, he looks over your dad shoulder at sees you. You can’t help but blush under his stare.

“Oh quit calling my coach, would ya,” your dad teases him as their embrace comes to an end.

“You coached him since he was just a kid, dad,” you say while stepping forward and rolling your eyes at him. Your dad simply judges you before taking his seat. “Hey,” you smile at Alex.

“Hey,” he breathes out.

“Give me a hug,” you chuckle. As you wrap your arms around Alex’s torso and his fall around your too, you feel a sense of familiarity. This was what your later high school years were like, hugging Alex and smelling his musky cologne. He was your first love, and you never forgot a thing about your first love.

The hug ends, you smile up at Alex, then take a seat next to your dad while Alex sits across the table from the both of you. He really hadn’t changed that much in the few months since you’ve seen him last. But there’s a pang in your chest as he sits there, across the table from you, and you can’t really explain why you get that feeling. Alex was great, both as a person and to you. He had been best friends with Luke since they were just kids, became pretty much attached at the hip through their years growing up, which meant you saw a lot of Alex. It started off as some stupid little crush on the smiley brown haired messy boy. Then one day, he brushed his hand against yours in the bathroom between yours and Luke’s room, and the look in his eyes told you that he liked you too.

As your dad had pointed out earlier, Luke had warned Alex off as you got older and he noticed his best friend taking a liking to his little sister. But that didn’t stop Alex from asking you to be his date to his senior prom. Luke acted as though he hated it, but then he said he was sort of happy it was someone he trusted dating you instead of some other douchebag. Things weren’t always easy with you and Alex, but they lasted up till the winter of your senior year. He broke it off and the next time you saw him he had a black eye courtesy of your lovely big brother.

“How’s school?” Alex asks after the waitress takes your orders.

“It’s good, I aced my midterms, but let me tell you calculus freaking sticks,” you exclaim before taking a sip of your water.

“Always been the smart one,” your dad says, obviously not catching what he had said as he looks at the smaller promotion menu. But you and Alex catch it, looking at each other with tight smiles. Luke barely graduated. He and Alex skipped more classes than they’d like to admit. While you were a straight A student and your parents loved to brag about it.

“Thanks dad,” you say, “anyways, how’s school for you?”

“It’s fine, school sucks, you know,” Alex shrugs.

“You’re done upgrading, right?”

“Yeah, next semester I can start taking college courses,”

“Maybe you can go to Arizona State with Y/N,” your dad smiles.

You widen your eyes at the seriousness in your dads voice. He truly was the biggest fan of yours and Alex’s. He was just as heartbroken about your two breaking up as you were. You swear he had been playing the damn wedding already.

“I, uh,” Alex chuckles and his gaze falls to the table for a quick second, “I don’t know about that one, coach,”

“You’re telling me you never once thought about ASU? Especially with how much Luke mentioned it,” you dad says. You gaze down at your glass of water at the mention of your brothers again. Even after all this time, just hearing his name aloud makes your chest hurt.

“Exactly, ASU was always Luke’s plan, it was never mine,” Alex shrugs.

“Yeah, and you know I’m always the one stealing Luke’s ideas,” you joke, nudging your dad harshly with your elbow. He chuckles, nudging you back and your heart nearly bursts at the interaction. He seems better, which lets you finally breathe again instead of worrying about him all the time.

Your food is brought out to the table then, your mouth waters at the sight of your waffles covered with enormous glops of whipped cream and lots of strawberries. The moment the plate is placed in front of you you’re cutting a big bite and stuffing it into your face. It’s not till you’re half way through chewing, cutting off more and lifting it to your mouth, that you see Alex watching your every move.

“What?” you question, covering your mouth since it’s still full of food.

Alex just chuckles and shakes his head, “haven’t changed a bit,” he says.

“Shut it,” you narrow your eyes.

Some more conversation about life goes on through bites of food. Alex talks about his job, your dad chats about how his company is doing and the yard work he wants to get done. Of course Alex is a sweetheart and offers to give him a hand. The laughter and smiles, sitting with your dad and your ex boyfriend who’s still a great friend to you, this was exactly what you had hoped for this morning.

“Hey, tell me about that boyfriend of yours,” Alex teases as you all pick at the last bites on your plates. You nearly choke on your water, which only makes Alex’s smile grow.

“Boyfriend?” your dad questions, his voice both confused and upset. There goes his hopes and dreams of getting you and Alex back together.

“Uh, yeah,” you nod and set down your water, “his name is Harry,” you state.

“Had no idea you were seeing anyone,” your dad says.

“It’s been a few months, and you know when I told mom she wasn’t all that excited. Guess I just forgot to mention it to you,” you shrug.

“So, what’s he like?” you dad asks, having a bite of toast before looking to you. This was so weird. Talking about your current boyfriend with your ex boyfriend and your dad who didn’t really talk to your about your life. It was just weird.

“He’s great,” you nod, “he’s from the UK, studies computer sciences, is really sweet, treats me nice, an amazing soccer player,” you list off some things worthy enough to share with your company.

“Sounds like a decent guy,” your dad nods.

“Yeah,” Alex nods in agreement, “from your Snapchat stories and things, he seems really nice, Y/N,” he gives you a small smile.

“He is,” you mirror his smile. Then when you turn back to your dad who’s staring back at you, you feel like a little girl again as you pull out your phone and unlock it. “Wanna see a picture of us?”

“Sure,” he chuckles as you lean into your dad and bring up a photo you had of you and Harry on your camera roll. It’s in his Range Rover, you lifted the camera up high and snapped the photo one day as he stopped at a red light - turning to smile for the camera without a question before driving again. It makes you smile, totally forgetting about your first love sitting across the table.

Your dad pays for the whole bill, which Alex fuses over for a minute before you simply give him a look while getting up from the table. He pouts out a bottom lip and mouths ‘sorry’, and you swear you’re having deja vu - only this time you don’t walk up into his big chest and kiss his pouty lips.

“You know,” Alex pauses to hold the door open for the three of you, “you should come hangout tonight, we’re gonna drink at Stephan’s and then go out to The Black Dog,” he explains.

You glance over to see your dad getting into his truck while the two of you stop directly in front of the truck. A piece of you wants to say yes, but then another piece of you wants to say no. You run a hair through your hair and tug your cardigan around your body as a cold breeze blows by.

“Come,” Alex urges you.

“Okay, okay,” you chuckle. “Just text me later about it, my dad’s waiting,”

“Feels like I’m 18 again,” Alex smirks.

You roll your eyes and chuckle again, “I know what you mean,” you say.

“See you later,” he says, bringing his arms around you for a quick hug before you’re walking over to your dads truck and jumping in.

This morning went well, you think as your dad drives you two back towards his place. But now all you can think about was how tonight was going to go. Maybe agreeing to hangout with Alex and his friends, who were only yours because you were dating him and Luke was your brother, was a mistake. Guess you’ll have to wait and see.

“Oh shut up!”

“Yeah we missed you so much, it’s so great you’re back!”

“Oh, thanks,” you shrink back in the couch at Stephan’s house as Mary and Jill sit on either side of you, grinning since you arrived claiming there was too many guys around. They had been friends with Alex and Luke through high school, always the two girls that actually stuck around till you showed up upon the start of yours and Alex’s relationship. Then you two broke up and you rarely saw these two - till Luke passed away and your world took an entire 1-80.

Some people handle grieving well and you thought that you would be one of those people. Never did you think that you’d end up drinking your sorrows away, sleeping with your ex boyfriend again repeatedly and getting tattoos scattered over your body to reflect the pain you felt inside of you. But one day you sucked it all up, shipping yourself off to ASU and got your shit together - leaving everyone in Seattle behind.

“Here,” Alex walks up, his leg bumping into your knee, staring down at you while passing you an unopened cooler.

“Thanks,” you smile before he walks away again to where the boys were all hanging out.

“You know,” Mary pauses while leaning closer to you, “Alex really hasn’t dated anyone since you,”

“Yeah we’re pretty sure he’s still hung up on you,” Jill nods.

“Oh,” you breathe out, cracking open the cooler while glancing across the room where Alex stood. He looks over his shoulder and catches your stare, smiling before turning back to the guys and engaging in their conversation again. You shake your head and tilt your drink back to have a good hefty sip. You weren’t into Alex anymore, yeah a piece of you would always love him but that was because he was still your friend and he was Luke’s best friend throughout his entire life pretty much. But you weren’t in love with Alex anymore. You were pretty sure Harry filled that place in your heart now.

The bar sucked as much as it did when you were under aged and showing your fake to get in. You did have some fun on the small dance floor, Snapchatting some videos onto your story - you’d dance with the girls, lift up your drink and then smile at the camera before posting it. By midnight you had enough drinks and were damn tired too.

“You alright?” Alex asks as he joins you at the bar where you had taken a breather. You were just checking who had looked at your story, noticing Harry’s name near the top. It was morning across seas now.

“Yeah,” you smile towards Alex and rest your cheek in the palm of your hand.

“Tired out?” He chuckles.

“Yeah,” you repeat, letting out a sharp breath to blow away a strand of hair that was in front of your face.

“You’re having fun, right?” Alex furrows his brows before taking a sip of his beer.

“I am,” you nod, “I party like this almost every weekend now, don’t ya know, dating a bloody fratboy,” you chuckle and so does Alex at your shit British accent. Always liked to pull that one out while you were drunk.

“I’ve seen,” Alex says.

“Oh, speak of the devil!” You smile as you catch Harry’s name and face on the screen of your phone. Picking it up, you swipe your finger across the screen and lift it to your ear while plugging the other to block out the music and sounds around the bar. “Hey!” you say with utter excitement. You missed Harry.

“Hey,” he echoes, his voice less excited though.

You hold up a finger to Alex and walk towards the front doors of The Black Dog. “What’s up?” You ask.

“Just laying in bed,” Harry all but sighs out.

“Oh, another one of these calls, huh?” You tease.

“You’re drunk,” he states.

“Yeah,” you chuckle, “I’m just out with some old friends,” you add.

“Saw that,” he mumbles. Something was up, even in your drunk state you were catching onto his uneasy tone and short answers. You sigh and lean against the brick wall, shivering as the cold temperatures of Seattle hit you - you were only wearing a tube top and high waisted jeans. Not exactly ideal with the winter weathers here.

“What’s wrong?” You ask in a quiet voice, aware of the fact one of Alex’s buddies is smoking a few feet away from you.

“Nothing,” Harry answers.

“Really?” You’re annoyed now. “Just tell me what’s wrong, H,” you say.

“Who’s the guy? You’ve been Snapping him all day in your story,” he grunts. You recall Alex being in your snap of your waffles this morning, and then during the pre drinks at Stephan’s he was in the shot of you all lifting your drinks into the air. Finally there was the selfie you posted of you two, both puckering up for the camera just moments ago before you sat at the bar.

“My friend from home-“

“That’s rich,”

“You’re not even going to let me explain, really?” You shout out, Alex’s friend looks towards you now. You try to ignore him as he puts out his cigarette and walks back inside to leave you alone to shout at your boyfriend in peace.

“I’m supposed to just believe you’ve been drinkin’ and having breakfast with some old friend and that’s it,” Harry shouts back at you.

“You’re supposed to trust your damn girlfriend Harry!” You say, wanting to kick at the wall or throw your phone from the amount of anger pulsing through you.

“How do you think I feel waking up and watching my girlfriend with some guy I have no idea about, huh?” His voice is a bit quieter but it’s still laced with anger.

“Fine, want to know who Alex is?” Your stomach twists and turns from the frustration you’re feeling and maybe the ton of liquor you’ve had to drink too. “Alex is my ex, ok? He was a childish crush turned into my first fucking love, alright? He means a lot to me and is still one of my best fucking friends because-“ you swallow your words as you’re about to blabber on about how you’d always keep Alex as a friend because that’s what your brother would want. Telling Harry about Luke like this wasn’t how you wanted to tell him.

“Please, keep telling me about how much you still love you’re bloody ex boyfriend, little bird,” Harry hisses out the nickname like it’s venom on his lips. It breaks your heart.

You don’t respond right away, instead you breathe in till your chest feels tight and your eyes are watering. This was not how you wanted your night to go. A few tears fall down your cheeks as all the emotions you’ve felt the past twenty four hours hits you. Everything with Luke and with Alex and now Harry, it was too much.

“Y/N,” Harry’s voice is softer after the moment of quiet through the phone.

“Yeah,” you hiccup out the response.

“Y/N,” you turn around and see it’s Alex calling out your name this time. Harry stays quiet while you stare at Alex, keeping the phone pressed to your ear. “Did you want to go home?” He asks, eyes as soft as you needed them to be.

You nod at Alex, your bottom lip quivering as he steps closer. “I’ll call you later, Harry,” you say into the phone before hanging up and stepping into Alex’s open arms.

“Hey, hey, shhh, it’s okay,” Alex comforts you as you sob into his chest. Thank god he had changed into a black vneck instead of a white shirt so you didn’t stain it with your mascara.

“I—I can’t go home, Alex,” you gasp for air while the uncontrollable sobbing continues. You feel your phone buzzing in your jean pocket as you cry into Alex’s chest. With Harry’s words still fresh in your mind and the thoughts of Luke, you feel like you can’t breathe. You’d also blame it on the liquor. “His room is right there and I haven’t gone in yet and I want to but it’s too much-“ you break out into more sobs as you explain yourself to Alex.

“It’s okay, you can stay at my place if you want,” he mumbles into your hair as he hugs you. His body heat warms you up immediately.

“O—okay,” you hiccup.

Alex drops his arms from around you, only to grab ahold of your hand as you wipe your face with your other and he hails down a taxi. The two of you both get into the back seat and he gives the driver an address while he rubs his thumb on the back of your hand. You still feel like crying, but you can’t in the back of a taxi that’d be an all time low. You inhale sharply and then let out a sigh as your phone buzzed again. Alex tugs your arm gently till you are leaning against him and resting your head on his shoulder.

“It’ll be on debit,” Alex says as the taxi pulls up to his apartment building. Same place he’s lived at since he moved out after graduation.

You remember how Luke wanted to move out too but your mom told him he could live rent free and live his life as he wanted to since he was an adult as long as he was still respectful. He was of course, being her favourite child as always. Luke would crash on Alex’s couch some nights - he only slept over once when you had and that next morning was awkward enough to start communicating of when you’d be there overnight or not. Then you two broke up and Luke spent more time at home too. But of course bros will be bros and the bruise barely healed before they were cool again.

“Did you want anything?” Alex asks as he opens the door of his place. He leaves you behind in the small living room as he walks into the even smaller kitchen. “Water?”

“Please,” You croak out. Alex returns with a glass of water and hands it to you. You don’t waste a second before drinking half of it.

“Thirsty, hey?” Alex jokes.

“Yeah,” you hum. Your head hurts already, seems your hangover as arriving early since your boyfriend started a fight from over the ocean and you finally broke down about your brother in god knows how long.

“What happened back there? Seth came in, said you were shouting at someone on the phone,” Alex states.

“It was stupid, we’ll get over it tomorrow,” you mumble before finishing off your glass of water. “Always do,” you echo the words that were once said by Jess from the last fight you and Harry had.

“I think I have something for you to sleep in,” Alex says, respecting the fact you didn’t want to get into the conversation that was your boyfriend being a jealous dick. You follow him down the hallway to the bedroom, as he flicks the light on you see it’s recently been cleaned. Years ago you would’ve cleaned up around this apartment, done dishes and laundry downstairs with the coins he’d leave around.

“Thanks,” you whisper out as Alex sets down some old sweatpants and a tshirt on the bed.

Alex stands up straight, looking at you for a long moment. You keep the eye contact for much longer than you would’ve if you hadn’t been drinking tonight. He sighs and takes a step towards you, with his closeness you feel your chest tighten up.

“You were my first love too, you know,” Alex says softly as he reaches up and brushes a strand of hair behind your ear.

He had heard the end of your call with Harry. Your cheeks heat up instantly, causing Alex to chuckle. His smile is genuine and makes your lips tug upwards too. His hand cups the side of your face, he brushes the pad of his thumb just close to your lips and your skin tingles from the contact. For a moment you’re seventeen again and falling in love for the first time. But then as you notice Alex’s eyes drifting downwards, you snap back to reality - where you’re falling in love with someone else who’s currently in the UK and upset with you. You sigh and step out of Alex’s touch.

“I think I love Harry now,” you blurt out aloud of the first time.

“You don’t think so, Y/N,” Alex pauses as your eyes find his again and he shows you a small smile, “you love him, so tell him. Trust me, it’ll make the mans life a lot better,”

You nod your head, unsure of how to respond to him. There’s more behind his words. A hint of jealousy even. You swallow hard and look away from his stare again.

“You uh,” Alex pauses and you glance up at him, “you can sleep in here, I’ll take the couch,”

“I’m sorry,” you say.

Alex forces his smile, “it’s okay, just-“ he stops to think about his next words, “you’ll always be my best fucking friend too, Y/N,” he grins. You chuckle and shake your head at him before he walks towards the door.

“Goodnight,”

“Night, sleep tight,” he says before shutting the door behind him.

It’s not till you’re dressed in the clothes Alex had left for you, swimming in both the top and bottoms cause they’re so big, that you look at your phone. There was four texts from Harry and one from your mom. You open your moms first.

Where are you?

I’m spending the night at Alex’s, be home in the morning.

You know she’s have a few words for you tomorrow. But that was a problem for then, when she could call you a slut to your face for all you cared. As you said before, Luke was her favourite kid and that didn’t change after his passing. She’s always complain about you and look down on you for any choices you made. Especially spending the night at your ex boyfriends house without any context.

How do you expect to me act when you act like this??

This is bullshit and you fucking know it… please try and think of a good lie to tell me when we talk later for you hanging up on me for your ex

You’re making me crazy

Sleep with him and we’re over

Tears spill down your face as you read over Harry’s texts. You turn off the bedroom light and slowly make your way into Alex’s bed - very much alone - while imaging how upset Harry must be. This wasn’t how you wanted things to be. You didn’t want to fight with him during the holidays, you wanted him to trust you and understand things but you knew you needed to explain the whole story for him to get why Alex meant so much to you. You just didn’t use the right words tonight, and you’d blame the liquor for that one.

As you read them for a tenth time over again, you feel anger this time. Did he really think you’d cheat on him? After all the shit with Lindsey and with him reacting how he did with Thomas? Your chest aches while you type out your response.

I’d never do that. Never. Just fucking trust me for god sakes Harry. I’m going to sleep now.

You want to type out so much more. You want to type those three burning words. But you know if you were to send back everything you’re feeling, the sadness and the hurt and the anger, it’s only add fuel to the fire at this point. You sigh and wipe away your tears before setting your phone on the pillow beside you and rolling over to try and sleep. Thing was, the sheets spent so much like him. Like your first fucking love and your brothers best fucking friend. Your fists curl up with the blanket in your hands as you squeeze your eyes tightly. Everything hurts again.

#fratboy!harry #duhh duh duhhhuhuhuhuh #not so smooth sailing for the lovely couple #next chapter will be out friday as planned :))#you're welcome for the extra unplanned part lol #TALK TO ME ABOUT THIS THO #harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles blurb #harry styles imagines

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surveys-at-your-service · 6 years ago

Text

Survey #167

“everything he sees is just blue like him, inside and outside.”

Did the house you grew up in have a big yard? It was fairly decent. Have you ever worked over 50 hours in one week? No. What has been the most difficult class you’ve ever taken? Latin. Do you think teenagers should focus more on their education rather than on relationships? Well, yeah. I mean that as in you should pursue knowledge more than love, but it can of course happen and should be taken seriously. What’s your opinion on couples ‘staying together for the kids?’ Awful idea. Your children don't need to grow up on the sidelines of a dead relationship. It can give them such negative expectations. Did any of the classes you took in high school count towards uni credit? No. Do you think being born was a mistake? No. Have you ever been arrested? No. Has a relative ever been arrested? Don't believe so. Do you think the Fountain of Youth exists? No. How about in a parallel dimension? Maybe, idk. Do you believe humans are part of a giant alien experiment? Not necessarily aliens, but I'm *open* to the possibility that we're just a simulation of a future civilization to learn how their ancestors lived, like we're literally Sims. I lean towards that being false, but. There's astonishing evidence for the possibility we're not "real," though regardless, I stand by the "I think, therefore I am" quote, so I really don't care either way. Do you think your blood is sacred? Uh... no? Have you ever been suicidal? Yeah. Was it a passing phase or is it something controlled by medication? It was something corrected with the help of medication, LOTS of therapy, and a closure conversation with Jason. Do you hold any holiday special in your heart? Halloween and Christmas, particularly. Is there a holiday you wish no one celebrated? Which is it? Why do you feel that way? Eh, I don't feel like flipping through the list of holidays right now. What’s your favorite book? Why is that? Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo because it is a masterpiece of the needlessness for war, as well as The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton, though by this point I don't even recall most of the story... I just know I adored it. Who is your all-time favorite author? Don't have one. What do you like about them? N/A Who’s your favorite poet? Poe, of course. What’s your all-time favorite band? How about all-time fave singer? I have too many favorite bands. Singers, Freddie Mercury and Brendon Urie. Do you think most mythological creatures exist? No. Have you ever had lice? No. What brand of dish soap do you use? Uhhhh idk, I don't wanna go look lol. Do any of your neighbors have dogs? Idk. Growing up, did you listen to country music? Yup, believe it or not. Have you ever dated someone on the football team? No. Do you like tomatoes? I'm not a fan. I can enjoy fresh ones in a small amount in a sandwich/burger, but that's it. What’s your favorite brand of bottled water? Essentia. Do you have any ceramic animals in your house or outside? No. What brand of makeup do you wear? I don’t wear a specific brand. What type of waffles do you like? (Plain, blueberry etc..) Plain or chocolate chip, depending on mood. Do you brush your tongue? Holy shit brush your tongue, dude. What kind of laugh do you have? It's loud and obnoxious as hell. What kind of cell phone do you have? (ex. flip, slider, or traditional.) Touch screen. Have you ever gotten searched by the cops? No. Have you ever been enrolled in private school? No. Do you know how to grill a steak? No. Would you ever use an online dating service? No, was on one v briefly and it was. Very much not my thing. I felt like I was hunting for a relationship when I'm way more for it just finding you. Do you like Gushers? YES. Do you have a large dog? No, Teddy and Bentley are both medium-sized. If not, are you afraid of them? Not at all. I love big dogs. What is more annoying: A sore throat or a headache? Headaches. Have you ever sent an X-Rated picture to someone? No. Have you ever gone out of state for a concert? No. When is the last time you went on a date? March. ;____; Do your parents know that/if you smoke? I don't. What is your favorite board game from your childhood? I hated shopping, so I haven't a clue how it was Mall Madness lmao. I also loved that carnival Cranium game, whatever it was. Have you ever gotten rid of something you shouldn’t have and then really regretted it later? Yeah, senior prom pics. There were some where I actually looked pretty fuck Do you beat yourself up when you make mistakes? Usually. Have you ever tried anything off the Starbucks secret menu? No. Do you have string lights in your bedroom? No, but I'd like them. What is your favorite flavor of tea? Tea is disgusting. Do you have an inspiration board? I have a Pinterest board of hair colors and styles I like. What is your favorite magnet on your fridge? Never paid attention to the ones we have. Do you like to sit in the grass? No. Are there popsicles in your freezer right now? Yeah, we got 'em for when I got my tongue pierced. Is there a lamp in your bedroom? No. Would you prefer eating jello or pudding? Pudding. After washing your hair, do you put any products in it? No. Have you ever crawled through a vent? No. Last time you rode a bike? Years ago. What is something you used to always do but don’t anymore? Uhhhh. Idk. Well actually, I used to always have soda like multiple times a day, but now I go some days without touching it. What is the last thing you broke and how did you break it? Idr. What is the best thing you have received when trick or treating? Reese's, ha ha. What is the worst thing you have received when trick or treating? I hate(d) tootsie rolls. What word do you hate the absolute most? Probably "the 'n' word" or the derogatory term for gays... idk. How many seasons is your favorite TV show in so far? Eight for That '70s Show, but both FMAs don't have seasons. Do you remember getting sung to when you were little? No. Have you ever felt a temperature below 0? No. When was the last time you had blood drawn? Couple days back for more tests. What color eyes does/did your father have? Brown. What do you daydream most about? The future. What names do you like? Alessandra, Damien, Josephine, Luther, Chloe, Evelyn, Evangeline, Vincent, Victor... At what age do you want to start working or at what age did you start? My first job was when I was about 19, I think. Where’s the best place to eat a romantic dinner? Olive Garden omlllllll. Who was the last person to piss you off? I don't know about pissed. Probably Mom. Has anyone ever told you that they loved you, and you didn’t say it back? Yeah. What’s your favorite hairstyle on the opposite sex? I like scene/emo hair too much fuck Has anyone ever played a prank on you? What happened? Probably. Which parent are you more similar to? Idk. I'm a pretty even mix of them both. Do you have a lot of self-discipline? Eh, depends. Have you ever been to another country’s capital city? No. What are some of your favorite qualities for another person to have? Compassion, kindness, an open mind, considerate, creative, difficult to anger, understanding... What smell reminds you of your childhood? Chlorine, gingerbread, rain in the air... Have you ever dated someone who had a child from a previous relationship? No, and I wouldn't. When was the last time you spoke to the first person you ever kissed? Second week of February '17. What’s a political issue you have a strong opinion on? Gay rights. Stopping that "oh if (s)he was raped ten years ago, why come out now?" bullshit that's been popular lately. What was the last fruit or vegetable you chopped/sliced up? Romaine lettuce for Kaiju. When you take a nap, do you nap in bed or on the couch? My bed. Have you ever done a Mason jar craft? No, but most of those that I see are so cute. What are you going to be for Halloween this year? Idk if I'm even dressing up. Do you decorate your front door for holidays? Mom puts up a wreath. What are all the costumes you remember wearing for past Halloweens? I literally remember none. Who is your favorite photographer? Check out mothmeister on Instagram. Cool as fuck. Don't know who takes the pictures exactly, but. Jovana Rikalo/thefirebomb on deviantART is also incredible. Were you shy in high school? Not very. Do you wish karma were real, or are you glad that it isn’t? I wish it was. What was your favorite Nick Jr. show? Rugrats. What school subjects are/were you the best at? English and science. What comes naturally to you? Spelling, usually. Bonding with animals. Do you prefer to call life a journey, a battle, a dance, or an adventure? Journey. Do you believe in the power of dreamcatchers or do you just like them as a decoration? They're just pretty decor to me. Who are the cutest babies in your Facebook newsfeed? I have two friends with young babies and neither are cute tbh. One's face looks like a grown man's with elephant ears, while the girl is just like, a month old, and I almost never find babies that young cute. What were your favorite mall stores when you were in high school? HotTopic. What time of day do you normally feel the most awake and alert? A while after I wake up. Have you ever searched for your house on Google Earth? Yeah. How old do you look? I guess my age? Do you like movie nights? Only if it's with someone. What would be number one on your bucket list? Pet a wild (well, habituated) meerkat. How old do you think you’ll be when you make your will? *shrugs* where is the fanciest place you have ever visited? Idk. Do you wear earrings on a normal basis? Ugh, I wish. Two reasons I don't. 1.) My first holes are stretched badly from wearing heavy earrings to much. Put one in the left especially and it almost looks like it's not even attached to my ear. Looks gross. 2.) I'm allergic to silver and like all my earrings are silver. Are your ears pierced more than once, if at all? Yeah. If you wear skirts, are you more likely to wear leggings, or go bare? If I was to wear them, I'd probably wear leggings. Ever stayed up all night on the phone? Jason and I did that (or almost did?) once early in our relationship. If you could move somewhere else, would you? Uh yeah. The one and only reason I won't move too far is because I'm unwilling to leave my psychiatrist; he's one of the biggest reasons I recovered and also gives me free samples of the medicine that saved my damn life, which costs over $1,000. No exaggeration. He knows that's absolutely outrageous. So it's like if I moved somewhere else, would my new psychiatrist do the same? Did the last guy/girl you kissed have any piercings? No. Do you actually love your parents? Yes. Have you ever had a school picture turn out absolutely dreadful? Like, all of them. I look high when I smile. What is the name of the last band you discovered? That I actually got into, Powerwolf. What happened last time you got drunk? Never been drunk, but on the occasion I got the closest, I was more outgoing and giggly. Do you know anyone autistic? I don't believe so. How about someone bipolar? Me. What do you want your job to be when you’re older? A photographer and also an out-on-the-field zoologist. I could bring my camera out with me, combine the two. Have you ever made your parents cry? Mom on sadly multiple occasions, and I could hear that Dad was tearing up when I called him wanting to make up. Do you always lock your door? Not my room door, but the front and back door pretty much always are. If I'm home alone, without a doubt. Have you ever been to Hooters? No. Do you snore in your sleep? No. Do you have a brother? What’s his name? A half-brother, Robert/Bobby. Do you believe in celebrating anniversaries? Year ones, yes. Have you ever driven without a license? I don't have mine yet, but I don't believe I've ever done so without my permit. What was your very first pet like? I'm pretty sure my first personal one was a long-haired guinea pig named Squeak. He was a total sweetie that loved attention and would do one of those high-pitched, four squeaks back at me if I did it lol. What kind of an old person do you think you’ll become? I hope I become a wise, more loving than ever, content person that does all she can for humanity and doesn't isolate like I do so much. I want to be out there with people, making memories and always maintaining a young heart. Which well-known person’s death shocked you the most, if any? Steve Irwin's above anyone else, but Chester Bennington was a close second. What’s the craziest color you’d dye your hair? I seriously want to bleach my hair to snow white and have it fade to a blood-red tip, but that'd probably destroy my hair. What’s the coolest hobby one of your friends has? Hm. I'm not sure. What’s the silliest thing you’ve believed, that turned out to be untrue? LOOK I stg I learned in school that thunder was clouds rubbing against each other and I only learned the truth THIS YEAR. Have you ever pet a cow, a sheep or a pig? A pig. Who’s the last person to make you laugh? GameGrumps. Ever been in a race? No. Favorite brand of color pencils? Crayola, I'm a basic bitch. Do you like the smell of peppermint? Omgggggggg yes. How many pieces did the last puzzle you completed have? Idr, maybe 150? It was at the hospital with my peers. In the end we were missing exactly o n e piece. What is missing from your wardrobe that you need to buy? I want a studded leather jacket pls I've wanted one since high school. When was the last time you witnessed a sunshower? A month back, maybe? Maybe sooner? Who was the last person to kiss your cheek? Mom, I believe. What temperature do you consider “too cold” to be outside? Comfortably, 40 F. Did anything bad happen to you in September? My knees became quite a problem. Had some rough streaks of depression. In your phone’s contacts, who is the first person listed under the letter ‘R’? When did you last see that person? No one under "r." If someone is sticking their nose into your business where it isn’t wanted, how would you deal with that? Would you say something to them? I'd like to think I'd say something. When your last relationship ended, how long was it before you felt ready to think about being with someone else? I realized I wanted to be with Sara while I was with him. It was one of the reasons I broke up with him. Think about your Facebook profile photo. What kind of assumptions do you think a stranger might make about you, from seeing that photograph? Would any of these assumptions be correct? (It's the same picture as here.) I obviously like a darker style, and it'd also be an understandable assumption I'm a bitch by my expression lmao. That one's not true, I hope. If you aren’t an only child, do you wish you were? Noooo. What is your birth order? I'm the middle child between my immediate siblings. What is your eye color? What would you want it to be? Blue/green/gray. I wish they were more sapphire. Do you like Victoria’s Secret, or PINK? I like their bras and undies, super cute, but other products, nah. What color highlighter do you prefer? Pink. What is the wallpaper on your best friends cell phone? Dunno. Do you like using big words when you talk? Don't hate it, but I avoid it when I can with most people. I wanna make sure they understand what I'm saying, no need to make it all fancy. What’s your favorite thing to do in the summer? Stay the fuck inside and wish it was fall. Eh, swimming. Do you like being tickled? NO. Are you loud when you’re having sex? I'd always try to be quiet even when home alone because I was worried about someone coming home and us not hearing or something. But it took effort to keep quiet sometimes, and even then I was a moaner. Are you a very open or private person? Depends on who I'm with and whether it's on or offline, but generally, private. What is your favorite Christmas movie? Jim Carrey's How the Grinch Stole Christmas. What do you get complimented on the most? My hair. When was the last time you were in a public setting and a stranger annoyed you? I'm not sure. Scariest storm you’ve ever had in your town? Um idk. Skill you wish you had? Drawing exactly what I see in my head ugh. How do you feel about raising minimum wage? FUCK-ING DO IT. NC's is $7.25 an hour, and you can't live off that shit. Humor me. What physical ideal do you imagine in a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner? It really doesn't matter to me, but I'd say I'm more quickly attracted to people with a dark style. What type of personality traits do you look for in a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner? Calm, open-minded, friendly, I like a bit more outgoing than me, compassionate, very passionate like myself, artistic, considerate... Any other essential quirks/interests/other you look for in a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner? The only thing I can think of as essential are some common interests to bond over. I don't think I could date someone totally different from me. Or someone heavily religious. Any romantic gestures you really like? Small, simple efforts just for the purpose of showing you care, more than anything. I appreciate the cliche of opening doors. What were you like when you were a kid? Outgoing, talkative as hell, pretty odd, big time creative. What is your definition of cheating? Flirting in a clearly non-joking manner. Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist? Both since the 6th grade. Are looks important in a relationship? For me personally, no, but I don't shame people who feel it's at least a smaller factor for them. Sure, it'd be more difficult to be more sexually attracted to you, but not romantically, which is what I care about. What were you doing right before you started this survey? Another survey. I combine them into longer ones. Ever get mad at something that happened years ago? Rarely, and if ever, briefly. What do you order on your pizza? Jalapenos. I miss meat lovers. What the kind of soda you drink most often? Mountain Dew Voltage. Do you freak out if a bee/wasp flies near you? Wasp, I'm fuckin' outie. I'm uncomfortable with any bee, but won't spaz over most. If Facebook started making you pay, would you still use it? No. If you were dying and had to tell the last person you texted one thing, what would it be? Lmao we actually had a convo about this once, and it'd totally be, "I love you, and I'll see you on the other side." If you could have sex to one song, what song would it be? We playin' "Death of a Bachelor" by P!atD on our wedding night 100% 100% 100% 100%. Are you a forgiving person? Too forgiving. Who is the last person you told you loved them? Sara Jaaaane. <3 Do you have a specific gas station you usually go to? Or do you stop wherever? Mom tends to go to Sheetz or Shell. She gets bad mileage at Sheetz, but it's super close to our house. Do you have a place you go to a lot that you may be considered “a regular” at? The people at New Addiction (tat and piercing parlor I go to) are starting to recognize me lmao. I'll be there tonight again. Think of the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a bed? Yeah. Do you like your girlfriend's/boyfriend's parents? YEAH. Why aren’t you with the person you first fell in love with? He couldn't stand my depression anymore. What’s worse, knowing you still love them, or pretending you hate them? THE FORMER. Do you own any television series box sets? All seasons of Meerkat Manor. What is your favorite band of all time? Ozzy Osbourne. Would you consider getting a tattoo any time soon? I'm getting one T O N I G H T B O Y S. Do you like candles? Yeah, but I prefer incense. Have you ever been diagnosed with a mental illness? More like seven lmao. And I'm 99% sure I have ADD, but I haven't been officially diagnosed. If you had to choose to have a different accent than the one you have now, what accent would you choose and why? British, 'cuz I love it. Have you ever or do you currently live in a Gated Community? No. Do you know how to use a DSLR camera? Yeah. Do you know anyone who is named after a state? Jason's mom. Miss that woman, she sincerely cared for me. I owe her so much for staying on the phone with me for legit like two hours a couple nights before my attempt. It was dead in the middle of the night, yet she was happy to be there. Have you ever had a “bad trip”? If yes, what happened? N/A. Do you enjoy learning about conspiracy theories? Y E S. Shane Dawson got me so into them omg. If you had a baby boy, what would you name him? Damien Alexander, maybe.

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