#I thought the narrator did a good job too. some spooky singing.

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

Lacrimore

gothic fantasy

a medium travels to a mysterious island to do final rites for the aging scholar who lives in the sole crumbling mansion but finds him still alive

she decides to stay until he dies, hoping that the ritual will bring her the answers she’s been searching for since she lost her wife in the epidemic that swept the mainland

but the house’s few residents are unfriendly and the labyrinthine house itself is hiding dark secrets…

[popculturebuffet]

Legend of the Three Caballeros: Labyrinth and Repeat Review (Commissioned by WeirdKev27)

Saludos Amigos! We’re back on the Ride of the Three Cablleros as I intend to knock this wonderful series out at a steady cliip, and since I THOUGHT the premire was a two parter, it still ends on a cliffhanger but it’s too early to tell if this is just normal for this series like say Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts, where it’s really more one continuous story, or just the end of the pilot. For now with all the exposition out of the way from part 1, we can jump right into the thick of things where we picked off.  PREVIOUSLY ON LEGEND OF THE THREE CABLLEROS: Donald had an enormously shitty birthday, loosing his job, his house and his nightmarish harpy.. er his girlfriend, all in one day. Things went up a bit though when he inhereted a Cabana belonging to his ancestor Clinton Coot and met two new pals: Ladies Man Jose Caricoca and loveable weirdo like myself Pancito Romero A Lot of Other Names Gonzales. The three soon had a yard sale with the various treasures inside the cabana and got an offer for a million dollars for the cabana and all inside from local waiter’s nightmare Baron Von Sheldgoose, whose deal includes a jewel incrusted golden atlas. Upon finding it our boys were attacked by a human goddess who popped out of the book and that’s where we pick up. 

Good. Let’s begin. So Xandra, said goddess, is holding our heroes at arrow point with their attempts to defuse the situation falling flat and their attempt to understandably flee by claming to be the cabs failing pretty much immidatley. We do get some good gags including Jose accidently telling Xandra she smells like feta cheese in greek. But lucky for our boys before Xandra can do a murder on them Donald accidently shuts the book.. and finds out she disappears when he does that. Cue our loveable idiots opening and closing the book for a while, easily one of the best bits of the episode. I will say while the pilot was pretty good comedy wise this episode solidfies how funy the series is. The series is at times a barrage of wonderful jokes and set pieces and it is awesome to behold.  Also a breif thing before we get back to the plot... Xandra is indeed human, or at least looks like one. Normally i’m against this as honestly Ducks just mesh better with Dogfaces, other birds and other anthromorphic animals. It just works better and is more consitent to have a world that’s simply anthro animals and non-anthro animals. But.. it works for me here since so the human characters.. are all gods. While i’d of PREFFERED them to still be non humans, like Ducktales does, it works since she’s not really a human but a god and thus it comes off more as her being something inherently diffrent and otherworldly, but something that’s not so distracting it pulls focus away from the rest of the cast, just otherworldly to our heroes.

So while our boy screw with the goddess who you know, tried to murder them for flimsy reasons without stopping to ask why three strangers look exactly like her friends, we get to know the triplets better. I also get a better bead on what voices Jessica is using. May is using Jessica’s Lynn voice, just a touch higher since May isn’t a preteen, while April, the one in yellow, uses the voice she’d later use for candace. Junes is a BIT like Lucy, but with obviously way more energy and emotion. But it’s clear the three are smart confident and willing to run a scheme, and easily get a thousand bucks out of sheldgoose for the spooky purple ring he saw last episode in a really chortleriffic bit where May serves as an auctioneer while her sisters up the price by bidding thus tricking Sheldgoose into paying. They also get past him having a claim on it as he dosen’t have a receipt or anything else other than a verbal contract with Donald, one that wasn’t even complete since the boys hadn’t brought out the atlas, so they were within their rights to fleece him for the ring.. even if him getting it at all is going to backfire, they had no way of knowing that so it’s whatever.  Back in the house the boys have apparently done the  book thing on Xandra about a hundred times, and Xandra FINALLY grabs the book. At least our boys are bonding. But while threatening them again , she finds out they don’t know what happened.. and recongiing clinton int he painting realizess time has passed, these boys are her boys decendants, and perhaps some explination is in order since she’s lost in a strange world. 

So after unveling a bookmark that allows her to project out of the book without being trapped, Xandra gives us our backstory: long ago, in a distant land I Aku master of darkness unleashed an unspeakable evil... wait sorry wrong narration. Long ago Xandra was guardian of the Atlas, which is explained to be the key to various magical hot spots around the world where various myths come from. Things were fine.. until the evil Lord Felldrake decided to screw it all up, binding Xandra to the book and using it to cause chaos and try and take over the world. All was lost till the Cabs stopped him, freed Xandra best they could, and then journed the world with them till she tragically was shut inside the book and seemingly lost. For whatever reason Clinton never opened the book, we’ll presumibly find out later, and well.. here she is.  Xandra is voiced by, unsuprisingly given this project’s all-star cast, voice acting vetran and modern legend of the buisness Grey DeLisle, also credited as Grey Griffith for a time. And like tress she has a rather massive and awesome resume, which naturally i’ll be going into since usually I go into shows mid way and don’t get to do this: Grey’s notable rolls include Daphne Blake ever since What’s New, Scooby Doo?, Lor from Weekenders, still not on plus and I will not let that fact go till I get a valid reason why not, Crazy Cat Lady and Lizzie Divine, Mandy, Doctor Ghastly, Kimiko Tohomiko, Sam Manson, Frankie Foster, Azula, Riley Daring, Freida Suarez, Black Canary (Brave and the Bold), Fire, Dr. Holiday, Aya, Master Nadia, Magpie, Moon Butterfly, Jackie Lynn Thomas, Lola Loud, Lana Loud, Lily Loud, and Martin Prince following Russi Taylors tragic passing, just to give you an idea of how long, varied and wonderful her career and range is. And to give a certain person paying for this review an idea of some of the shows i’m familiar with. Moving on.  Despite learning of their family legacy of heroics, our heroes are planning to still sell the book given Donald and Jose are poor, and Panchito’s giving in to peer pressure. Seriously Camil is already the MVP of the series, easily the best part of it and it’s a shame he wasn’t brought back for Ducktales, especially since by season 2 frank was aware of legend and Jamie had been on the show before. But Xandra offers them a life of adventure and heroisim.. and when that fails points out theirs treasure and the boys agree to hear her out.  So after showing some off Xandra takes them to a Labyrinth to retreive three mystic amulets, and goads Donald into going in by challenging his Ego after he tries to refuse to go. Panchito is naturally fully on board with a dangerous adventure and Jose is talked into it after Xandra pulls an explination why she can’t go out of her firmly toned ass that theirs a mystic barrier which he buys. So while Xandra conjurs a chair and a coconut drink to relax and wait to see if they die or not, our boys head in.  They find a massive, beautiful labyrnith and a large house containing a minotaur. Sadly i’ts not Ferdinand aka the Minotaur who worked as Wonder Woman’s chef, cooking up damn good vegetarian goodies for her at the Thymsicarian Embasy. All of this is real things that happened and all are things that should be in the next fucking movie. Seriously as much of a mess as Wonder Woman 1984 is, i’d buy a ticket in a heartbeat caution to teh wind if it was announced he was being adapted for it. He’s also very smart, kind and loyal if you were wondering. Get yourself a man like feridnand if your into men. 

Anyways Jose once again tries to speak a languge, and thus we get about a minute of Eric Bauza saying the word moo... sometimes... most times really.. I REALLY, REALLY love my job. But with the bull pissed off and going super sayian god super sayian, there’s only one thing left for our heroes to do...

So they do and we get a great gag where Donald, when deciding wether to split up as to lower the possiblity of him getting hit, has TWO shoulder devils, because inside every man is a battle between good and evil that evil usually wins while dancing and singing a jaunty toon over good’s grave. 

But it naturally backfires and the two devils tell him he’s on his own. So we get a fun chase sequence with the three before Donald finally decides fuck it we can fight back. Noticing Panchito’s talent with a rope, he has him rope and ride the Minotaur which he does, then uses Jose’s hankerchief to lure the minotaur and beat him. It’s a gorgeous, fun action sequence that shows off the series is as cool as it is fricking hilaroius.  So our heroes find the amulets, a blue one for donald, a red for panchito and green for jose, and put em on, proudly telling Xandra. It’s then revealed the Minotaur.. is an old friend of hers and this was just a test to see if they could work together and you know.. not die. They can, and she’s proud and plesantly suprised by how good they are.  So our heroes return home, Xandra storring the atlas on her back, and all three suitably impressed. Their further impressed when they find a hidden lair with more treasure, and three sets of armor, their ancestors old armor which as it did in the teaser at the start of the series, looks REALLY fucking cool and comes from various civlizations. Just.. lovely to look at. Our heroes pose.. and the nieces find them, wonder what’s going on, and mention Sheldgoose at the door, apparnelty not phased to meet a god or that their surrogate uncle has a hlemet.  Sheldgoose has come to offer the money.. and it’s REALLY tempiting. Donald has lost EVERYTHING remember, this money could help win Daisy back, get him a fancy house still in new quackmore.. even a third of a million is still enough to set someone as humble and easy to please as donald for life. But.. it’s here where this episode succeds where the premire fell. By this point we’ve SEEN Donald’s weaknsses: he’s greedy, short sighted and selfish. So it makes it THAT MUCH more impactful when he does the right thing, tearing up the check and refusing to sell out his legacy. Sure this could make his life better.. but it’s not worth his soul, his new friends or the world’s safety. He may not be able to get Daisy back or a new house.. but he’d NEVER be able to repalce his new friends, his legacy, or his wonderful new home.  Sheldgoose naturally throws a fit and vows vengance and what have you... and just as naturally gets dragged away by his ring. Like the boys he’s brought to a mystic secret chamber by a family heirloom.. but unlike the boys we get a wonderful sequence of him being slammed into things while Wayne Knight makes delightful noises.

But Sheldgoose finds thanks to the ring he was drawn to a styigan well leading to a talking staff... Felldrake surivived, if trapped in the staff.. and  he’s Baron’s ancestor, himself a sheldgoose who urges his decsendant to take the staff, accept his destiny and thus Sheldgoose revels in his new power as he and feldrake summon Feldrake’s loyal minon.  

So we end on Donald happy. His day was crappy to start.. but while he lost his house, his shrew and his job.. he’s found a new purpose saving the world, an ew life of adventure.. and forever friends in his two new amigos and goddess mentor. He’s finally happy. OR he is for a a second before Feldrake’s minon emerges from it’s sarcophagus and runs off with donald. TO BE CONTINUED. Not doing the jojo gag this time. 

 Before we go on one last cast member; Kevin Micheal Richardson is Felldrake, and he is unsuprisingly awesome and like Grey has a long and storied career.. you know the drill by now: He’s voiced  the Narrator for Clerks the Animated Series, Robert Hawkins (Static’s Dad), Dark Laser, Numbah 5′s dad who was a VERY poorly aged refrence to Bill Cosby, Mammoth, Trigon, Armagedddroid (Something I never realized holy shit good on him), Captain Gantu, The Joker, Pandabubba, Principal Lewis, Schnitzel, Tombstone, Omega Supreme, Cleavland Junior (They drove a dump truck full of money up to his house he’s not made of stone), Mal Duncan, Doctor Fate, Man Ape, Kilowogg, Sheriff Blubs, William Viceroy , Mr. Gus, Rhombulous, Shredder (TMNT 2012), Rosie Rosevelt, Coach Mitchell (Seriously watch Milo Murphy’s Law, we need a season 3), and Dot’s Zit. As you can tell the guy is VERY good at villians so he was a natural choice. 

Final Thoughts: This was a huge improvment. With the miserable parts of the pilot long gone this episode is a fun, breezy adventure that sets up our heroes, the series tone, and our bad guy some more while giving us tons of great gags. I highly look forward to whatever comes next and cannot wait for the next episode. Until then, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.

[itsdisneymydudes]

I just realized we never learn Beast’s name in the movie

Alright, real talk time: I have never seen Beauty and the Beast. Now before you grab your pitchfork and torch, let me qualify that statement. I have never seen Beauty and the Beast--all the way through. I’ve listened to most of the songs and seen enough clips to understand the general plot, but I don’t believe I have seen it all together in one sitting. So that’s what I’m about to do.

And you’re gonna join me!

How, you ask? Via a livestream of my thoughts onto this blog! Wow, the future is now!!!

So without further ado, yip yip-----

K so the intro music is telling me scary shit is about to go down. But the forest setting is telling me someone is about to sing to the woodland creatures.

I know this is a Disney movie, but really? The “Once upon a time, in a far away land” trope?

So two things now: 1) why does this castle have so many stained glass windows that outline every panel of this story (lol) and 2) I keep expecting to hear Shrek’s voice suddenly butt in and “All Star” to start playing (lolololol)

Also, why does the narration assume the prince needs to earn “her” love? I think it’s high time Disney had their first LGBTQ+ protagonist amiright?

Just hit the “Beauty and the Beast” title card, and I’m already getting weird vibes on the whole bestiality here...

Wow, Belle is really roasting her town (with some pretty learned diction too)

OH MY GOD DID DISNEY JUST SHOW A GOOSE GETTING SHOT WHAT THE HECK

I get that Gaston is supposed to be the epitome of masculinity, but what are up with his yellow gloves--is he gonna scrub a sink later or something?

Kudos to Belle for being able to walk and read a book; I can barely walk and chew gum

Gaston has been on screen for a minute so far, and I already hate him. Good job, Disney

I can definitely tell Disney took a few pages from Ichabod Crane in The Legend of Sleepy Hollow for Belle’s father’s scene in the woods. Spooky.

So the anthropomorphic objects in the castle are cute and all, but I have quite a few questions to ask about their biology. Quite a few things don’t add up...but then again, this is an animated Disney movie.

OK OK OK I WAS NOT READY FOR THAT. WHY IS THE BEAST SO SCARY. I DID NOT KNOW THERE WAS GONNA BE A JUMPSCARE CLOSE-UP OF HIS FACE OH MY GOODNESS.

Dammit, Gaston--NO MEANS NO YOU FUCKBOY.

Wait, how does Felipe know that Belle’s Father ended up at the castle...? If I recall correctly, that horse booked it out of there before Belle’s Father could even move from the cliff...

GODDAMMIT BEAST WHY DO YOU KEEP POPPING OUT LIKE THAT I’M WATCHING THIS MOVIE IN THE DARK JEEZ

What purpose does the Beast have with keeping Belle’s Father prisoner, though? Like that most certainly will not break the spell...like at all...

Alright, I get that these two are supposed to fall in love, but the total tone and animation shift in the Beast is a little much, isn’t it? He just threw an old man into a spider-carriage and now is feeling sheepish and embarrassed about offering a room to Belle?

Also, I JUST realized Belle is made in the likeness (color scheme, face, voice, etc) of Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz.

Didn’t Belle want to leave the village anyway? Soooooo, the castle is a step up then? Eh?

Lolololol “What’s in the West Wing?” Well, that’s where the President’s cabinet is (my humor is dumb; get over it)

Gaston, that’s perfectly good beer you just tossed in the fire. Like wut.

After that Gaston song about getting swoll from 4 dozen eggs, I think he should do Old Spice Deodorant commercials.

How is Belle so accepting of the fact that everything is talking to her...?

Awwwwww it’s Beast’s first date. He’s so nervous. Aaaaaaaand he’s back to being a jerk. Great.

Oh is it the “Be Our Guest” song now? Yup. Yup, it is.

I really don’t get Belle. She has just been taken prisoner, has just met a bunch of talking silverware, and is now so excited about “her first time being in an enchanted castle.” She’s just on a roller coaster of emotions, eh?

Lol Lumiere and Cogsworth trying to keep Belle on track with the tour is exactly how it feels to be an Admissions Tour Guide.

Alright, hold on to your butts everyone cuz we’re hitting some deep stuff right now. It just dawned on me how complex of a character Beast is. He’s a guy who is extremely self conscious about himself that fears social ridicule. Beast tries to reach out to Belle to have a meaningful connection with Belle. Belle doesn’t know the scars underneath his jaded exterior but tries to find them, against the Beast’s wishes. Beast really doesn’t want to open up to other people due to his social anxiety. So when Belle catches her first glimpse of the rose, Beast loses it and pushes her away as far as possible, farther than he has ever before. Yet the last shot shows him torn over whether that was the right thing to do. On the one hand, he is terrified of getting close to someone, but on the other hand, he yearns for that kind of meaningful connection. It’s a classic relationship scenario told through the guise of a fairy tale. Disney, you sly dog. Coolio, let’s get back to it.

Hm, interesting dichotomy between the Beast and the wolves.

So Beast did save Belle’s life and all, but now they’re suddenly cool with each other? Technically speaking, she’s still his prisoner...is that a hint of Stockholm Syndrome I spy...?

Lol Beast just showed Belle Perkins Library

Is this seriously a the-two-potential-lovers-build-their-relationship-towards-the-possibility-of-falling-in-love music montage? It is -_-

No no no no no. That canNOT be Beast’s singing voice. That sounds nothing like him!

Aaaaaand this song is about bestiality....

“Human Again” reminds me a lot of the “Sorcerer's Apprentice” scene from Fantasia what with the mops and all.

Alright alright alright there is no way Belle and Beast could be reading Romeo and Juliet and have smiles like that on their faces at the end. That’s just wrong.

“Beauty and the Beast” really is a timeless song. So magical.

Aw, poor Beast. Belle just up and left him like that...

Oh Belle. Why would you show the HUNTING PARTY the Beast in the mirror???

Gaston said a bunch of exaggerations that stirred fear in the general populace. He also antagonized someone who was different with said fear. He also said “wall.” Illuminati confirmed: Gaston=Trump

Aw Beast had his heart broken, and now he’s in the angst-y “nothing matters anymore” phase

Lolololol Wilhelm Scream @ 01:15:50

What the heck! One of the angry mobsters had tea dumped on him while another had a giant wardrobe dropped on him! That hardly seems like an equal attack to me...

Holy fucking shit. You have got to be kidding me. Why the FUCK would Disney show one of the goons pulling the feathers off a duster?! Is that supposed to be some sick twisted form of rape?! What the fucking hell, Disney!!!

Are you telling me Gaston really can’t tell the difference between a stone gargoyle and Beast? Damn, he really does need to read more books

Heh. Guess you could say after losing Belle’s affection, Gaston had a really bad FALL from grace.

Ok I understand they’re in love and everything, but does Belle really think that just cuz she’s there with Beast now that the GAPING KNIFE WOUND IN HIS KIDNEY will suddenly magically heal? Oh wait, it does? Wut.

Ok ok ok. I know this is really nerdy, BUT when Beast transforms back into a human, it’s like he’s traveling through time along the evolutionary tree. The transition of his legs specifically show how goat/horse legs relate to ours in the ratio of foot-to-leg length

Hot damn check out Beast’s new weave. Those are some F-L-O-W-I-N-G locks, mate.

Well that’s a very Broadway-esque musical-style ending. I like it.

Good movie. Would recommend. Certified fresh. #Gastonthefuckboy2k17