#I thought it would be harder to post fanfiction on here

[tinygrove]

Decent Man Pt.1

The second part

Pairing: Cregan Stark/fem!reader

Author's Note: I've decided to split this into 2 parts just to give myself a chance to work on the ending but I was eager to get something written. This is the first fanfiction I've wrote, or at least posted on this account so I hope it's not too bad.

Summary: You're newly wed to Lord Stark after having only been courted for barely a month. Although the anxieties of having to perform as a 'royal' wife start to eat at you, Cregan proves to be a decent husband.

You must have done it, how else would you be alone in his chambers. Blocking out all the noise and going through the motions would only get you so far. You couldn’t even remember the vows. Lord Stark had arranged for there to be no bedding ceremony, perhaps an act of mercy. You’ve heard some lords complain they simply want their lady wives all to themselves, untouched and unspoiled. You were neither. You weren’t sure if your Lord husband was either. 

You hadn’t learned much about him during your courting, not that it lasted long. Your father practically jumped at the opportunity for a stronger alliance to the most powerful house in the North. It must have appeased Lord Stark as well, seeing how quickly he’d agreed to the marriage, it had barely taken place a fortnight after you’d met. Now though, you were in his room, none to accompany you but your ladies in waiting. A few had come with you from your own keep, or rather your fathers. And one or two had been appointed to you since coming to Winterfell to stay. You could hardly form the words to tell them you could undress yourself. Maybe it was the cloak weighing you down, making it harder to breath the harsh winter air. You let it slip off your shoulders and yet you still feel heavy, a weight in your chest and a hard lump in your throat. 

Hearing the thick wooden door swing open and shut after heavy footfalls and quick scurrying of feet made the pit in your stomach sink even lower. “Are you well?” He asked, definitely due to your silent stewing. The whole night you’ve been lost in your own thoughts. 

“Yes, I am well, thank you.” You force a courteous smile to you face, although more brief and sour than you’d intended. You figure you’ll have to do a lot more of that in the coming years. “You do not look well.” Your not sure he says so in a demeaning way, more so that he’s seen through your flimsy facade. Or maybe he’s focused on the way your hands desperately seek purchase on your gown as your eyes start to brim with tears. You can’t control it when they start to spill. 

“There is no need for us to,” He gestures between you with a sigh, trying to supplement actions for words. “Consummate the marriage tonight, if you do not wish it.” He tries to search your eyes for any sort of answer but you avoid his gaze. “Did you hear-” 

“Let’s just get it over with.” You say, voice low and wavering with all it’s strength to keep it from cracking. Another stray tear falls down your cheek as you reach behind yourself for the laces of your gown but two large hands hold your arms still. 

“You truly think so little of me? That I would– Like I said, there is no need to consummate the marriage tonight.” He brings your arms out from behind your back, holding your chilled hands in his. His fingers and palms are calloused, yet his grip gentle. “I barely had a chance to court you before we wed, perhaps we might come to know each other before; that.” Your eyes flicker down to where his hands encompass yours, and he quickly recedes after catching on but strangely, you find yourself missing his warmth. 

As your eyes find his once more he continues. “I shall have a few ladies in your service prepare a chamber for you. I know you’ve not had space for your things but I assure you they’ve been taken care of. In the mean time though you’ll need to take your rest here.” He turns to make for the door and surprisingly a part of you longs for him to stay. The brief bit of kindness he’s shown to you is more than you can say for those that attended your wedding. Your father truly had not exaggerated the icy attitude of those in the North. Lord Stark however, to see his wintry exterior slowly melt away has made it almost impossible to detest him. “I will see you on the morrow, my lady.” He opens the door and a cold breeze comes over you, yet you don’t shiver, the cold only emboldens you. “Thank you, Lord Stark, for your kindness.” your voice is somewhat steady now, no longer fighting an imminent sob. He nods at your words, “Cregan will do just fine, my lady.” You’re alone now and the chill is gone. All the warmth radiating from the hearth is slowly becoming too much to bear even as it smolders to embers. The absence of your Lord husband leaves you feeling alone now, more than you’ve ever been.

[fangirlwriting-stories]

Easier When Unknown

Summary: Danny could have imagined his life would be interesting after everyone learned his secret, but he didn't think it would be this different.

Author's Note: A phic phight fanfiction! Here are the two prompts:

AU where no one knew Danny was Phantom until PP (or some alternate big reveal of the author's choice). Sam and Tucker are sure that a famous hero like Danny Phantom is too cool to be their friend again, especially since they haven't talked since before freshman year of high school. Danny just wants to be part of the trio again and has no idea how to ask.

Danny finds out that Sam's been being bullied at school and has been hiding it from him and Tucker out of embarrassment.

...

Danny’s life definitely didn’t get easier after his identity was revealed, but it didn’t get that much harder, which was good.  Right?

Or, well, that was a little bit of an oversimplification.  His life definitely got harder in a lot of ways.  People stared at  him wherever he went.  Suddenly all of the popular kids at school wanted to be best friends with him, like he couldn’t see through that change of pace from a mile away.  There were news stations constantly vying for the first interview with the half-ghost kid who defeated the Ghost King.

But his parents stopped hunting him.  And they were going to try to work things out.  And Jazz revealed that she’d actually known for a while now, and that made her more ready to adapt to everything, and she didn’t treat him like anything had changed.

And all of that kind of evened it out, at the end of the day.  Even if he wasn’t exactly sure he was ready to go from town’s enemy to world’s hero.

Because that was another part of this: word of Amity Park, ghosts in general, and what he’d done had been spreading like wildfire since he’d put Pariah Dark back in his coffin.  Suddenly everyone was talking about him, and everyone knew him, and, as stated with the aforementioned journalists, everyone wanted to talk to him.  He woke up every day to see news trucks that were local and ones that were very much not right outside his house.  He’d flown intangibly to school every day for the past month.

Ancients, all this fame needed to die down soon.  He wasn’t sure how much more of it he could take.

He was often so caught up in everything changing all at once, however, that he didn’t have much of a chance to think about things he might want to happen.  Which was why he was a little caught off guard that morning.  He was running from the daily mob of screaming girls who wanted his autograph (which was never something he thought he’d get sick of), and after getting at least a little bit of a lead on them, he turned intangible and dove through the door to the janitor’s closet, then turned back to normal and rested his hands on his knees, panting slightly to catch his breath.

“Uh,” came a very familiar female voice, and Danny’s head shot up.  He found standing on the other side of the closet the one part of his life that hadn’t changed.

And for a long, long moment, he and Sam and Tucker just stared at each other.

Danny’s feelings about Sam and Tucker had never been more mixed.  They really were the one aspect of his life that stayed the same post identity-reveal-to-the-entire-world, and he couldn’t decide whether to thank them for the consistency or be pissed at them for the audacity.

Because he hadn’t talked to Sam and Tucker since the beginning of Freshman year.

And then his secret was revealed to the entire world.

And he still hadn’t talked to Sam and Tucker since the beginning of Freshman year.

“Uh,” Danny said finally, because they couldn’t just all keep staring at each other.  “Hi.”

“Hey,” Tucker said.  Sam nodded in acknowledgement.

Really, guys.  Work with him a little bit, please?

“Are you hiding from people too?” Danny asked, pushing himself up using his knees.

“Yeah,” Sam said.

“I didn’t think you’d be hiding from anyone anymore,” Tucker said, and Danny didn’t miss the tinge of bitterness in his voice.

“Um,” Danny said.  He didn’t seem to have any more words for Sam and Tucker than he had a year and a half ago.

“Danny!” came from outside the closet, and Danny whirled around instinctually.  “Get back here!  What makes you think you can run from me?”

“Hey you mind if I hang out here for a bit cool thanks,” Danny said, moving across the closet until he was right across from Sam and Tucker.  A second later, the door handle started jiggling, and Danny turned intangible, even though he could feel Sam and Tucker’s stares.

The door swung open and Paulina poked her head in.

“Oh, it’s just you two,” she said, disappointment obvious in her voice.  A second later, she perked up.  “Hey, you haven’t seen Danny, have you?”

“No,” Sam said, crossing her arms.  “Would you back off?  We’re trying to hide in a closet here.”

Paulina laughed.  “Sure, okay.  Have fun, losers.”  She slammed the door after herself.

Danny dropped the intangibility as soon as she was gone with a sigh of relief.  “Thanks,” he said to Sam and Tucker.

“Don’t mention it,” Sam grumbled, and leaned back against the shelf behind her.  “I’m surprised you didn’t want to see her, though.”

“Honestly, yeah,” Tucker agreed, giving him a weird look.  “Never thought I’d see the day you’d turn down Paulina.”

“It’s not that,” Danny said.  “I mean she… she’s not…”

The warning bell rang, and all three of them looked towards the door, where they could hear it outside.  For a second afterwards, none of them moved.

Sam did first, pushing herself off the shelf.  “Bye,” she said, starting towards the door.  Tucker followed her closely.

Danny tried not to make his deflation obvious.  “Yeah, okay,” he muttered.  He turned intangible again, and slipped through the floor, rather than try and go past them.

It was only when he actually made it to his homeroom that he realized he still had no idea why Sam and Tucker were in that closet.

…

“Hey, Fenturd— I mean Fenton!”

Danny heaved an internal sigh and looked up from his tray of food to find Dash and Kwan walking up to his table.

“Are these seats taken?” Dash asked with a grin, gesturing at the as-of-yet empty table around him.  He’d gotten to lunch early in order to try and hang on to one.

“Yeah,” Danny said to Dash, leaning over to rest his chin on his hand in what was intended to be a representation of how little he wanted them here.  “I’m holding it for all of the ghosts that are going to show up during lunch and blast you across the room.”

“Ha, you’re a riot Fenton!” Dash said, completely ignoring Danny’s tone and face and sliding into the seat next to him.  Danny cringed and didn’t bother to hide it, sliding as far away from Dash as he could.  Unfortunately, Dash just slid right down after him, which resulted in Danny nearly being pushed off the bench and Dash not noticing.

Kwan followed his lead and took the seat across from Danny, meaning Danny was forced to look in boredom to the side to avoid both of their gazes.  He waited a couple extra seconds, but eventually it became clear that neither of them were going to move.  So, Danny sighed, resigned himself to his life, and picked up one of his terrible school-lunch chicken nuggets.

“So, we were both thinking that maybe you could come watch one of our practices!” Dash called, slinging an arm around Danny’s shoulder.  “The football team’s, I mean.”

“Why would I do that?” Danny asked, making his shoulder go intangible just long enough for Dash’s arm to fall through.

“Well I mean, it would be neat to have you there,” Dash said, glancing across the table at Kwan.  “Right Kwan?”

“Totally,” Kwan agreed with a grin of his own.  “And I mean, you’re pretty good with athletic stuff.  You know, when you’re a cool ghost fighting superhero and not a weak dweeb.  Maybe you could come as Phantom, you know, show us some tricks!”

“Gee, that sounds great,” Danny deadpanned.  “So am I just supposed to ignore the insults in there, or…?”

“Hey,” came Paulina’s voice, and Danny turned around to see her walking up behind them all.  “Can’t you two leave him alone?  It’s clear he doesn’t want to be bothered by you.”

Danny blinked in surprise.  He really hadn’t expected Paulina to pick up on that.  Maybe she actually—

“He’d clearly rather be sitting with me!” Paulina said, reaching down and pulling Danny up by his arm.

“Okay, that’s it!”  Danny went intangible again and slipped out of Paulina’s grasp, then grabbed his lunch and walked out of the room, straight through the doors without bothering to open them.

He made his way out to the front steps of the school and sat down, and managed to get through at least a couple bites before he remembered the reason eating outside was also a bad idea.  The reminder came in the form of a reporter and a camera man leaping out from what he thought was a normal van sitting across the street.

“Mr Fenton!” called one of them as he ran up towards the steps.  “Or would you prefer Mr Phantom?”

“I’d prefer solitude,” Danny snapped, leaning back and away from them both.

“Oh absolutely!  Just a couple of quick questions first of course, you wouldn’t mind.”

The door slammed open behind them, and Danny prepared himself for Dash or Paulina again when, to his surprise, Mr Lancer stepped down the steps and stopped right in front of him.

“You’re on school property,” he said, crossing his arms.  “You have two minutes to get back in your van and drive away or I am calling the police.”

“Sir, can I ask, how long have you known that one of your students is dead?” the reporter asked, shoving a mic in Lancer’s face.

Lancer raised an eyebrow and pulled out his phone, then started dialing 911.  Thankfully, the reporters turned and ran back across the street before he could finish.

Lancer turned back around as soon as they were gone.  “Are you alright?” he asked, casting a concerned look down at Danny.

“Fine,” Danny muttered, picking up his tray and climbing to his feet.  “You know.  Great.”

Lancer looked at him for another second, then said, “Mr Fenton, come and eat your lunch in my classroom.”

“What?  Why?”

“You can sit out of view from my door,” Lancer said.  “It’ll give you a break from the crowds.”

Danny felt a knot in his chest loosen.  “Really?”

Lancer gave him a sympathetic frown.  “I can’t imagine it’s an easy thing to deal with all the time,” he said.  He opened the door again and gestured for Danny to go first, so he did.

And for the first time in a while, he ate his lunch in silence.

…

He wasn’t expecting to see Sam and Tucker again that day.  Most of the time his time at school was spent avoiding every single person he possibly could.  The morning incident in the janitor’s closet had been a once in a blue moon event.

But, as fate would have it, there was a ghost attack during the last period, and after going and taking care of it (just the Box Ghost showing up as an irritation), he landed behind the school to find Sam and Tucker leaning against the wall and talking.

And while he’d originally come back here to try and avoid all of the cheers he’d get going right back into class, he was sort of regretting that decision now.

Sam and Tucker were clearly deep in conversation, but they noticed when he landed right in front of them, and then they all got to do a lovely repeat of that morning’s staring at each other.

“Hiding again?” Tucker asked eventually.

Danny nodded.  “You too?”

Sam nodded.

Danny gave them a curious look.  “From what?”

“Danny!”

Danny groaned audibly this time, as Star ran around the side of the building and straight for him.

“That was so cool the way you just flew off like that!” she called.  “Not a second thought to how you might be putting yourself in danger!”

“Yeah, thanks,” Danny said, already starting to fly away.  “Make my excuses in class, will you?  Got to get this really dangerous ghost back to the portal right away and send him through to the ghost zone.  Great thanks bye!”

He flew off maybe a little bit too quickly for the given situation, but he couldn’t stand another second there, and school was basically over anyway.  He made it home pretty quickly, and thankfully wasn’t stopped by any news outlets on the way, though that was likely because he made the whole trip while intangible.

But while he made it inside without any fuss, as soon as he flew down to the lab he was greeted with his parents working on what looked like a weapon of some kind.

He winced.  He was never quite able to stop the touch of fear that came with his parents working on a ghost weapon.  After a second, though, he floated down to the ground anyway and changed back from his ghost form.

Both his parents startled and looked over at him.

“Danny,” his mom said.  “You’re back early.”

“Yeah uh, ghost fight in last period,” Danny muttered, heading over towards the portal and attaching the thermos to it.  “School was already basically over, so I just came home.”  He hit the button on the side of the portal and sent the Box Ghost flying into the portal, crying out dramatically all the way.

“Well that’s nice,” Mom said, the tension in her voice obvious.

“Yeah, uh, anyway I have homework,” Danny said, starting for the steps.  He had a feeling flying up through the ceiling wouldn’t be a great idea right now.

“Will we see you for dinner, Danno?” Dad asked.  “We were hoping to all eat together tonight.”

Danny tightened his grip on the railing of the stairs.  “Okay.”

He considered asking what they’d be having, but given the tension in the room he really didn’t think he could spend much more time in the lab.

So instead, he just said “See you later,” and headed upstairs.

It’s not that his parents had reacted badly to the Phantom news.  They’d done the important stuff, they’d given him a huge apology and stopped actively hunting him.  But none of them seemed to really know where they stood with each other anymore.  Danny didn’t logically think they were going to hurt him anymore, but it was difficult to get rid of that fear response that for the longest time, it made sense to have.

But at the same time, he could tell it made them feel guilty to see him be scared of them.  Jazz said it wasn’t his fault, and she was probably right.  But he still hated it.

He started first for his bedroom, and made it part of the way through the living room when the front door opened and Jazz sprinted in, slamming the door shut on nearly a dozen reporters.  Danny could still hear their voice through the door after it shut.  Some were asking how it felt to be the brother of a hero, some were asking how long she’d known and how she’d found out, and some were asking how it felt to know her brother was dead.

Jazz heaved out a breath, though all of the reporters were still easily heard through the windows.  Then she looked up and met eyes with Danny.

“Oh hey,” she said, clearly still exhausted.  “How was school?”

Danny didn’t respond, instead gazing out the gap in the curtains to the people shoving cameras in it.

“Sorry,” he said to Jazz.

“Oh, don’t you dare,” Jazz said.  “I know you hate them as much as I do.”

Danny sighed and looked down.  “Yeah.”

“Are you doing okay?” Jazz asked hesitantly.  “I’m sure it’s… a lot.”

Danny snorted.  “Understatement.”

Jazz smiled a little.  “Yeah.”

Danny turned to face her more directly, chewing on his lip.  He’d avoided the topic with her so far, mostly because too much was going on, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t been desperately curious.  “Can I…” he said hesitantly.  “Can I be like one of those awful reporters and ask you how you found out?”

Jazz rolled her eyes.  “Don’t be ridiculous.  You’re not a reporter, you’re my brother.  And I know if I tell you it’s not going to end up on the 5:00 news.”

She paused, and turned and glanced out the windows for a moment.  “You want to go upstairs, though?”

“Yes,” Danny said immediately.

So they both ended up in Jazz’s room, sitting next to each other on her bed, with the curtains drawn tight in case the helicopters came back.

“I found out during the Spectra thing,” Jazz started.  “I spotted you transforming.”

Danny nodded, thinking about that.  “Okay,” he said quietly.  “And… why didn’t you say anything?”

“I wanted to wait until you wanted to tell me,” Jazz said.  She sighed, and glanced towards the windows.  “I guess that didn’t really work out.”

“No,” Danny muttered.  “But… I appreciate the sentiment.”

Jazz turned to look at him, concerned.  “Are you doing okay?  I mean, obviously not, just… you know.”

“Oh no, I’m fine,” Danny said, rolling his eyes.  “I always hoped that everyone would learn my secret in the aftermath of an exhausting battle when I was definitely not prepared for them to learn, and then I’d be hounded by literally everyone who suddenly feels entitled to my attention and my time.  Dream come true, this is.”

“I’m really sorry it turned out this way,” Jazz said quietly.

Danny sighed.  “Me too.”

“Is there anything I could do to be helpful?” Jazz asked.

“Do you know if anyone’s figured out time travel yet?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Dammit.”

There was a moment of silence, and Jazz said, “I mean it.”

Danny shook his head.  “There’s nothing you could do that you aren’t already doing,” he said.  “You’re not looking at me different.  Like your entire worldview’s been flipped on its head.  Which, I mean I guess for a lot of people it has, but… still.  It’s nice that you’re not.”

Jazz was quiet for a moment, and then she reached over and wrapped her arms around his shoulders.  And despite how totally lame it was to hug his sister, Danny did the same back.

“Still, if you want me to stand in between you and anyone, just let me know,” Jazz said.

“I wouldn’t ask you do that,” Danny said, pulling back, though he was smiling a little.  “I can just fly away from the news vans, and go intangible to get away from the helicopters.  And Lancer already gave me permission to hide in his office during school hours if I ever need to.”

“Good,” Jazz said with a nod.  She paused for a second, and Danny got the feeling she was about to ask something delicate.  He was proven right when a second later she said, “And what about Sam and Tucker?”

“What about them?” Danny said, glaring away.  “We’ve said about ten words to each other since everything happened.  And about half of them are ‘um.’”

…Okay, so maybe he’s a little more bitter than he realized.  He sighed.

“I can’t expect everything to suddenly change,” he said, turning back to Jazz.  “Our falling out had nothing to do with Phantom.”

Or, it technically did.  Their falling out had been because he constantly ditched them and left mid-way through hangouts.  Because he was Phantom, and had to go fight whatever ghost had shown up.  But they didn’t know that at the time.  And it had been over a year since they’d talked.  They had probably moved on.

“You should still talk to them,” Jazz said.  “And I mean really talk to them.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t see much of an opportunity for that in between getting interrupted every ten seconds, either by classmates or reporters,” Danny said.  He paused, and turned to look at Jazz as a realization struck him.  “Hey, how are you doing with all that, by the way?  It doesn’t look like the reporters are leaving you alone.”

“They’re definitely not,” Jazz said.  “But I can handle myself.  Besides, they tend to leave me alone as soon as they see you.”

Danny smiled a bit.  “Glad I can take that off your shoulders for you.”

“Oh yeah, if anything you owe me,” Jazz said with a smile.  “After everything I did for you?”

“I think I’ve saved your life three times now.”

“Do my dishes for a month and we’re even.”

Danny snorted.  “Sure, you got it.”  He took a deep breath, feeling lighter than he had when he got home.

“Hey, thanks, Jazz,” he said, looking over at her.  “You’re surprisingly easy to talk to.”

“Anytime,” Jazz said, smiling warmly at him.  “I mean it.”

…

The next day didn’t start much better, with flying invisibly to school and hiding in various places until first period starts, but Danny found himself in a better mood despite it.  Talking with Jazz had helped, and knowing he’d have a quiet place to eat lunch helped too.

He still didn’t love being swarmed in the halls on his way to his first period after the warning bell rang, though.  Maybe he could use his well-established reputation for being late for everything and just hide until the halls were empty between classes.

…Or would that not work anymore because everyone knew the reason?

Well, he’d give it a shot anyway.

First period was uneventful, thankfully, aside from everyone spending the period staring at him while he was trying to focus, which was nothing new.  He could tell it was irritating both him and the teacher, however, because eventually he set his chalk down from writing math equations on the board.

“Anyone who doesn’t stop staring at Mr Fenton loses an entire letter grade on the next test,” he snapped.  “This is school, this is not your free time.  Mr Fenton, thank you for at least trying to pay attention.”

“Anytime,” Danny deadpanned, because he wasn’t about to turn down a compliment from a teacher, and he really was trying.

Apparently the threat of losing a letter grade was only enough to sway a couple students, though, likely the ones who hadn’t entirely given up on their grades like he had.

(Although maybe the administration would go easier on him now…?)

Either way, he managed to get at least some of the notes down by the end of the class, and going up to the teacher to ask if there was anything else he absolutely needed to have written down seemed to put him on his better side.  Being a teacher’s favorite was also something he wasn’t used to.

And as a second bonus, staying behind and finishing the notes resulted in a late pass, meaning he could wait until everyone had filed out of the hallway.

Or at least, he thought that’s what he was doing.

Instead, as he turned a corner towards his next period, he stumbled across Dash shoving someone inside a locker.  And instead of adding him to the bunch like he used to, when Dash spotting him he brightened.

“Fenton!  You want to help me stuff these losers in here?”

“Not really,” Danny said, starting over towards them to help out whoever he was bullying.  “You know, if you’re really trying to get on my good side, you might try—” he stopped as he reached the locker.

Well, apparently Dash really didn’t care about getting on his good side, because staring back out at him were Sam and Tucker.

“Uh, hey Danny,” Tucker said, waving at him from inside the locker.

Danny turned back to Dash, raising an eyebrow in what hopefully came across as “are you fucking kidding me.”

“Aw, come on, you’re not trying to say you still care about these losers,” Dash said, like the very idea was ridiculous.  “You can hang out with anyone you want now!  By the way, you’re still coming to football practice later, right?”

“Probably not,” Danny snapped.  He held a hand out to Tucker, who grabbed it.  Danny turned him intangible and pulled Tucker out until he could stand on the floor.

Tucker looked a little off balance after he let go, but Sam still grabbed his hand when he offered the same to her.

“Okay,” Tucker said as Danny set Sam down.  “A little warning next time maybe?”

“Sorry,” Danny said.  He glared back over at Dash.  “Beat it.”

“Aw come on Fenton, you know I didn’t mean anything by it, I just—”

“Beat it or I tell everyone about that time you wet your pants after I saved your life from the Box Ghost.”

Dash went pale, and then quickly left.

“Wait,” Sam said.  “Really?”

Danny snorted.  “Oh yeah,” he said, turning back to face them.  “I could tell you stories about what Dash is like when he’s in danger.”  He paused, looking at them both in concern.  “Are you guys okay?”

Sam glared away, crossing her arms.  “Fine,” she muttered, a note in her voice that Danny couldn’t read.

“Thanks for the help,” Tucker said.  And then they both turned around, clearly about to leave.

“Wait!” Danny yelled after them.  “I— please.”

They both turned hesitantly back around.

“We’re late for class,” Sam said.

“I’ll tell them you got caught up in a ghost attack,” Danny said.  “Just, please can we talk?  Just once, and then we can be done.  Okay?”

They both exchanged a glance, and seemed to say something to each other with their eyes that Danny couldn’t read anymore.

Finally, they turned back to face him, and they both nodded.

“Where?” Tucker asked.

Well, eventually the bell was going to ring, and then the hall would flood with people who wouldn’t leave them alone.  And if they went outside, they’d be met with a similar problem, just with the news crews instead of students.  And if they were going to pretend a ghost attack happened, they should probably go somewhere to make it at least a little more believable.

“How do you feel about the roof?” Danny asked.

“Uh,” Tucker said.  “Have you been there?”

Danny nodded.  “It’s… quiet.  Sometimes.”

They were both quiet for another moment, then Sam nodded.  “Okay.”

Danny started over to them, glanced at Tucker and said, “This is your warning,” and then grabbed them both by the arms, transformed, and flew them all up through the ceiling and onto the roof.

Tucker stumbled a little as Danny let go of him.  “Okay,” he said.  “Needed a different kind of warning there.”

Danny smiled a little bit.  “Be glad you’ve never fallen through the floor in your sleep.”

“That’s not really something I’ve ever thought would happen to me,” Tucker said.

“Tell me about it.”

There’s a couple seconds of silence, and Tucker and Sam exchanged another glance.

Finally, Sam turned back to him and crossed her arms.  “So,” she said.  “You’re Phantom.”

Danny sighed.  “Yeah.”

“Can I ask…” Tucker started.  “I mean what— like how did you become— it’s okay if you don’t want to tell me,” he added quickly, holding up his hands.  “You don’t have to.”

Danny looked at him for a second.  It was definitely the same question he was sick of getting from other classmates and the reporters.  But Tucker at least had given him an out.  And if this really was going to be the last time they talked, he wanted them to know everything.

“You remember the portal in my parent’s lab?” he asked.  “How I told you it just started working one day?”

Tucker nodded.

“That’s… not actually true.  I turned it on.  From… from inside.”

Tucker’s eyes widened.  “Dude.”

Danny gave a short laugh.  “Yeah.”

“What happened with the ghost fighting?” Sam asked.  “I mean did you get pulled into that, or…?”

“What?  No,” Danny said.  “I mean, kind of, sure, but someone had to do it.  I wasn’t going to let people get hurt.”

“But— you got hurt,” Sam said, gesturing at him.  “All the time.  We talked about it around you.  Back when— when we were still talking.”

Danny shrugged.  “I can take it.  Normal humans can’t.”

The phrasing seemed to throw them off, which was fair, but he didn’t take it back.  He wasn’t a normal human anymore.

“Still,” Sam said finally.  “You should have told us.  We could have helped you.”

Danny’s shoulders slumped.  “I know,” he muttered.  “I— I really didn’t want you to find out like this.”

“On the news?” Tucker asked.  “Along with everyone else?  Like we weren’t any different from them?”

Danny winced.  “Yeah.”

A pause.

“If I knew everyone was going to find out, I would have told you first,” he added.  “For what it’s worth.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Sam asked.

“It just… it felt so big,” Danny said, shaking his head.  “And I didn’t know how you’d react.  And… I’m sorry.”

Neither of them said anything for a minute.  Danny wasn’t sure what exactly they were waiting for, but eventually he had to help fill the silence.

“How long has Dash been bothering you?” he asked.

Both of them immediately looked away.

“Oh, come on.  You can’t make this conversation entirely about me.”

“We can’t?” Sam asked raising an eyebrow.

“No.  That’s not fair to me or you.”

Sam glared away again.

“Pretty much since everyone found out,” Tucker said a second later.  “I guess he figured he couldn’t mess with you anymore so he moved on to easier targets.”

Danny clenched his fists.  “Asshole.  I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” Tucker said.

“No, I just mean,” Danny gestured vaguely with his hands, not sure what he meant.  “God, I’m so sick of him.  Of all of them.”

Tucker gave him a look.  “You really don’t like all the praise?”

Danny shrugged.  “I dunno.  I guess it beats being hunted.”

Tucker and Sam were both silent for a minute.  Danny looked at them for a second and saw slight horror on their faces.

Oh.  Maybe they hadn’t quite realized that part yet.

“You could have told me about Dash, you know,” Danny said, trying to stop them from thinking too much about that.  “I would have helped.”

“We… kind of didn’t think you’d care,” Tucker said hesitantly.

Danny blinked.  “What?” he asked.

“I mean, you are kind of a big deal now,” Sam said, gesturing at him.

Danny crossed his arms.  “I’m sorry?  Did you miss the part where I didn’t want to be?”

“No, I just mean—” Sam started.

“Yeah, I should go hang out with Dash, huh?  Or start dating Paulina?  Wouldn’t that be just great?”

Sam blinked at him.  “Would it not?”

“Of course not,” Danny snapped.  “None of them actually give a shit about me.   They all just think it’ll get them something if they’re best friends with Phantom.  They still don’t like Danny.   I don’t want to be friends with people who only ever see one side of me.  That—” he looked away.  “That already didn’t work.”

“Oh,” Sam said quietly.  “Sorry.”

Danny sighed.  “It’s okay,” he muttered.

There was another long stretch of silence.

“That wasn’t the only reason, you know,” Sam said.

Danny looked up at her.  “What wasn’t?”

“That we didn’t tell you.  Or— I guess I can’t speak for Tucker.  But it was just kind of embarrassing.”

“Embarrassing?”

“I meant it when I said I noticed you were getting hurt all the time,” Sam said, looking down at the ground.  “You’re fighting actual ghosts, and I’m supposed to come up to you and say ‘hey Dash is being mean to me?’”

Danny stared at her.  “Sam,” he said.  “Don’t be ridiculous.  I would have put the ghosts on hold.”

“I don’t want to call you for backup every time I need help,” Sam snapped.  “You’re not like— my bodyguard.  Even if we had spoken in the last year.”

“Well, I appreciate the sentiment,” Danny said, because he did.  “But you— I hate it when you guys are hurt.”

“We hate it when you’re hurt too,” Tucker said, looking pointedly at him.  “It’s why we didn’t exactly love it when you pushed away while you were so obviously dealing with something.”

Danny winced.  “I’m sorry,” he said again.  “I should have told you.”

“Yeah, you should have,” Tucker said.  And then all of them stood there, none of them saying anything.

Tucker broke the silence again, this time with a sigh.  “But for what it’s worth?” he said.  “Thanks for saving everyone all the time.  And for recently, with that weird ghost king guy.”

Danny nodded.  “Anytime,” he said.  He didn’t have to tell them the part about how he thought he was going to die.  Again.

“And, you know, for what it’s worth?” he said instead.  “Thanks for trying.  While I was being an idiot.  Sorry I didn’t let you help me.”

“How about this,” Tucker said.  “We’ll be there to help you as Danny and Phantom if you kick Dash across the football field once or twice.”

Danny blinked, confused.  “Huh?”

“That sound good to you, Sam?” Tucker asked, glancing at her.

“Yeah, I wanna see that,” Sam said with a nod.  “And I’d like to learn how to kick some ghost butt.”  She smirked over at Danny.  “Maybe I’ll start with yours.”

“Wait, I thought,” Danny said, looking back and forth between them both.  “I thought we said we’d be done after this.”

“Are you kidding?  You think you’re getting rid of us again?” Sam asked.  “Now that we finally know what’s been going on with you?”

“Sorry, you’re stuck with us this time,” Tucker said, crossing his arms with a grin.  “Like we’re gonna let your total loser half go unacknowledged.  You can’t be Phantom all the time.  Sometimes you have to get teased for how much you like NASA.”

“Or get your butt kicked in Doomed,” Sam chimed in.  She raised an eyebrow.  “Sound good?”

Danny didn’t try to hide his smile at all, and instead he closed the space between the three of them and wrapped his arms around Sam and Tucker in a hug.

“That sounds great,” he said, meaning every word.

[linnitheo]

Racing hearts

Max Verstappen x Y/N Fanfiction

Y/N POV

The roar of the engines was deafening as the cars flew past, the vibration of the circuit reaching the soles of my shoes, even though I was standing far from the track itself. The stands were packed, fans cheering as their favorite drivers raced by, but my eyes were fixed on just one car—Number 1, Max Verstappen.

It still felt surreal. I wasn’t just another fan admiring him from a distance anymore. A few months ago, I could have never imagined my life would change so much, and in such a whirlwind fashion. Now here I was, standing in the paddock as his girlfriend.

How did this even happen?

Flashback, six months earlier:

It had all started when I went to a Formula 1 race in Monaco. I was attending with my best friend, a journalist covering the event. Being around the paddock wasn’t new to her, but it was a whole new world for me. The exclusive vibe, the glamour, the loud roar of engines—it was intoxicating. Then, during the practice session, Max Verstappen had come over to where we were standing, exchanged a few polite words with my friend, and offered a smile that had taken my breath away.

Later that evening, at a post-race event, I found myself standing near the bar, awkwardly nursing a drink. Max had approached, and for a moment, I thought he was mistaking me for someone else.

“You were at the paddock earlier,” he said, his blue eyes piercing and confident. “You’re friends with that journalist?”

“Yeah, she covers the races,” I had replied, trying not to sound too starstruck.

We exchanged small talk, which quickly turned into longer conversations. Before I knew it, we were talking about everything from travel to racing, to how strange it was for someone like me, who didn’t know much about motorsport, to be so enthralled by it all.

By the end of that evening, he’d asked for my number.

Present Day, Y/N POV

The last few months had been a whirlwind of jet-setting between races, trying to balance my life with his. It wasn’t easy dating one of the most famous drivers on the grid. There were media obligations, travel schedules, and the constant fear of him getting hurt on track. But when Max was with me, none of that mattered.

"Y/N!" A familiar voice pulled me from my thoughts.

I turned to see Max walking toward me, wearing his Red Bull Racing uniform. His hair was tousled from his helmet, but his face lit up with a wide smile. Despite the race weekend intensity, Max always made time for me, something I loved about him.

“You nervous for today?” I teased, knowing full well that Max didn’t get nervous anymore.

He laughed, “Me? Nah. But you? Maybe.”

“I’m fine,” I smirked. “But you better win.”

He gave me a quick, playful kiss on the lips, before stepping back, looking down at me with that intense gaze of his. "I always do better when you’re watching."

Max POV

The lights went out, and I immediately jumped into the action, the sound of engines screaming around me. There’s always that moment, right after the start, where you can feel the tension between every driver. It’s electric, like we’re all holding our breath, waiting for someone to make the first move.

I didn’t hesitate. From third on the grid, I launched the car forward, squeezing between the Ferrari and the Mercedes. I knew Charles and Lewis would be tough to overtake, but I had something to prove today.

And not just to the fans or the team, but to Y/N. Ever since she entered my life, she gave me this strange sense of calm, like no matter what happened on track, I’d be okay once I was with her. But today, I wanted to show her what I could really do.

Lap after lap, I kept pushing harder, chasing down the front-runners. The radio chatter was constant, my engineer reminding me of tire wear, strategy, and the gaps behind me. But all I could think about was Y/N’s face when I crossed the finish line first.

Coming out of the final corner, I saw the checkered flag waving, and with a final burst of speed, I crossed the line.

P1.

The roar from the crowd was deafening, but all I could think about was getting out of the car and finding her.

Y/N POV

Watching Max cross the finish line first sent a wave of excitement through me. The crowd around me erupted in cheers, but I couldn’t hear anything except the sound of my own heartbeat. I ran toward the paddock, past security, and into the arms of Max as soon as he stepped out of the car.

He pulled me in tight, sweat and all, and kissed me with a passion that made the rest of the world disappear. I didn’t care about the cameras flashing around us, or the team celebrating behind us.

“You did it!” I exclaimed breathlessly.

“We did it,” he replied, pulling back just enough to look into my eyes. “You keep me grounded. I couldn’t have done this without you.”

For a moment, everything was perfect.

Max POV

But things rarely stay perfect for long in my world.

Later that night, we were driving back to the hotel when I noticed a car following us. It had been trailing us since we left the circuit, weaving through the streets of the city like it was trying to keep pace.

“Max… is that car—”

“I see it,” I cut her off, gripping the steering wheel tighter.

I could feel the tension rising. My life had always come with a certain level of risk. Racing at over 300 kilometers per hour on a track is one thing, but this… this was different.

Y/N’s eyes were wide with concern, but she trusted me. "Stay calm," I said, my voice low, trying to reassure her.

Suddenly, the car behind us sped up, getting uncomfortably close. I knew it wasn’t a fan or paparazzi; something felt off. I swerved into a side street, but they followed, their intentions becoming clearer.

“Max…” Y/N’s voice cracked with fear.

Without hesitating, I floored the gas, weaving through the narrow streets, the city lights flashing by in a blur. My heart pounded, but my instincts kicked in, just like they did on the track. I had to get us out of this.

The car behind us tried to keep up, but I knew these streets better. I took a sharp turn, pulling us into an alleyway and killed the engine. I motioned for Y/N to stay quiet as we watched the car speed past, missing us entirely.

My chest was heaving, the adrenaline coursing through my veins. Slowly, I turned to Y/N, who was still gripping the seat.

“You okay?”

She nodded, but I could see the fear in her eyes. “What the hell was that?”

“I don’t know,” I admitted, my voice barely a whisper. But I knew one thing for sure—I would do anything to keep her safe.

Y/N POV

The next few days were tense. Max and his team tightened security around us, but it was hard to shake the feeling that we were being watched. Something had changed. Max had enemies on the track, sure, but this was personal.

Despite the fear, we stayed together, closer than ever. We had dinner in a quiet restaurant one night, hidden from the public eye. Max kept his hand on mine the entire time, his touch a reminder that no matter what was happening outside, we were stronger together.

“I’m not letting anything happen to you,” he said quietly over the candlelight.

“I’m not scared,” I lied. I was terrified, but I couldn’t let him see it.

“I love you, Y/N,” he said, his voice soft but steady.

I blinked, taken aback. He’d never said that before. The weight of his words hung in the air, heavy with meaning. But I knew, deep down, I felt the same way.

“I love you too, Max.”

In that moment, I realized something. Life with Max Verstappen would never be easy. There would always be danger, always be risks. But I was ready for it—because I loved him.

Max POV

As I held her hand, the world outside the restaurant felt far away. I knew this wouldn’t be the last time we’d face danger. My life was fast, chaotic, and unpredictable, but Y/N was the one constant that made it all worth it.

“I’m going to win the championship for you,” I said, squeezing her hand.

She smiled, but it wasn’t just her smile that gave me strength. It was the look in her eyes that told me she believed in me, in us.

Racing had always been my life, but now… she was my reason to race.

And nothing, no danger, no enemy, was going to take that away from me.

End

[crunchyheartbeat]

Zombie apocalypse -Ghost-

TW: Zombies I guess It is a bit of a longer read compared to some of my other post.

This was hard, really hard in fact to wrap your mind around. Part of you was wondering if maybe you had lost your mind along the journey that you've had to take alone. Being left alone by isolating yourself on your own decision is one thing, but doing it because everyone you loved was taken from you by the dead, the biters, walkers, whatever the hell you want to call them, is something else interlay.

Your alone with a six foot zombie, covered in what seems to be army tactical gear and plenty of weapons on his body, just staring at you. Staring like your the only thing that is occupying the space in its brain.

Holding your knife tightly in one hand, crouched beside a couch hoping that it had missed your precense. You had killed the few zombies that were in the living room but you couldn't believe you somehow missed him. "Honestly it's over for" you thought to yourself. There is no way you can fight a zombie of his size. Maybe if you had better nutrition intake but up to this point all you have really eaten is bags of noodles and cans of beans.

He's not moving... He isn't attacking you... He is just staring...

As you slowly rise to your feet, your legs shaking and your knuckles turning white from holding your knife to tightly, you noticed that his jaw is broken. A bit of confidence makes you take a step backwards, trying to head to the door. If his jaw is broken then it will be harder for him to eat you.

As you slowly continue walking towards the door and looking at him, you see him slowly raise his arms. Eyes widening and a breath sucked in your ready to make the run the last bit of space that is left between you and the door. Counting the steps as you run. one. two. three. four. "waaagh" Stopping in your tracks and turning your head, you thought maybe you heard wrong. Did this thing just try to talk, just try to say wait. "waaagh" Soft and horse, it says it again. Eyebrows raising and fear striking through your body, you focus your attention to his arm, then his hand, then the bag of chips he seems to be holding in them.

"What do I do" You think to yourself. You are obviously imagining it, going crazy from the lack of anything social in your life up to this point. You've been surrounded by zombies for so long you think one is trying to be friendly. You watch as the zombie tosses the chips towards you. as far as it can throw with the few broken fingers it has. Another grunt passes the zombies lips, head jerking towards the chips, and walking towards the couch to sit down upon it. Lifting it's hand and patting the couch next to it to signal you to sit down.

If you would have known months ago when this outbreak started that you would come across a zombie that is capable of still holding on to some part of his past self then you wouldn't believe it, but being here with Ghost while he walks along side you, defending off any harmful things that you guys come across, your thankful for him.

So I have an absolute love for zombie ghost to begin with and I'm thinking of maybe adding a few more of these cause any zombie ghost fanfiction is French kiss not gonna lie. But I hope you enjoyed reading and let me know if you would like more of zombie ghost post!

[pebblume]

I never realized how liberating writing fanfiction would be. I hadn’t written creatively in years. It’s been so long that I kind of forgot what it felt like. The childlike rush of pouring your heart out onto a blank page, not caring about the results as long as you were having fun. I’ve tried writing fanfic a couple of times, for different fandoms across the years, but never finished anything I was really happy with, nothing that I felt comfortable sharing with the world. But something just clicked for me this past week. I realized how much fun it was to stretch out my writing muscles, to get inside the heads of my favorite characters. I realized that it didn’t have to be perfect to be worthy of being shared and loved by others. I realized that I had so many stories inside myself - more than I thought possible. 

But perhaps what I’m most in awe of is fanfic readers. The people who read my work and leave kudos and bookmarks and comments - one word comments, sweet comments, silly comments, paragraph-long comments. I love them all. I used to be afraid of leaving comments on AO3, afraid I wouldn’t have enough words, wouldn’t have the right words, to depict how I felt. But when I felt firsthand how much those comments meant to me I started leaving more and more of them, spreading a digital paper trail of love to all my favorite authors. More and more often I recognize the profile names and images in my comment section and think, Hey, I know you! Now I’m not just a guest on AO3, or a passive reader. I belong here. 

I won’t lie and say I don’t miss drawing a bit, my previous creative outlet. There are plenty of drawings inside me too, itching to be realized. I really just don’t have the time for two time extensive hobbies, not when I need to balance school and practicing and little things like sleeping and eating and relaxing. I miss it, but not as much as I thought I would. There’s a level of investment to sharing a story online that feels…special. When I post my art, I get engagement, and it feels nice, but ultimately, most people are only spending about ten seconds looking at the work I spent eight hours on, if that. When someone reads my fics, we’ve now spent time together. You’ve lived inside my head for a bit, made it your home. It’s about feeling seen, I think. Writing makes me feel understood in a way visual art sometimes doesn’t. It makes me feel vulnerable in the same way performing music does, but less exposed too. It’s interesting to me. 

The only downside, if you can call it that, is now that the writing bug has infected me, I’m finding it harder and harder to stop. I’ll have an idea and then suddenly five hours have flown by because I’m on a creative streak and I just want to write one more idea down, which turns into two, and so on and so forth. I dread stopping, because what if I forget something? What if I get into a writing block later? Suddenly I have people who want to read the things I write and I want to provide it, I really do, but I also have responsibilities. I say, as I write this, ignoring my audition tomorrow afternoon. 

I still have a bit of embarrassment attached to fandom works. When I tell acquaintances that I like to draw or write, I rarely tell them I mean fanart and fanfiction. As if loving something that deeply, that sincerely, is inherently shameful in this age of irony and soulless remakes. Especially when my interests usually consist of media marketed towards children, nevermind the fact that it has more emotional maturity than most ‘adult’ works. But I’m trying to get better about it. A lot of my closest friends know about my hobbies, and some I’ve even let see my work. It’s terrifying but also giddying, seeing them like an art post or comment on a fic. After all, to reap the rewards of being loved, one must submit themselves to the mortifying ordeal of being known, or something like that. 

I realized today that I’ve written over 30,000 words in the past two weeks about about two characters who don’t belong to me, but whom I’ve made my own.

And I’ve never felt happier

[anotherdayforchaosfay]

When I was at my lowest, my therapist told me to make a list of at least three things I would miss if I was no longer here. The list can be longer, but must have at least three.

My mental health is significantly improved. I haven't had those dark days in years, none of those ideations. Especially since giving those thoughts a name*.

That name gave me power.

I still make that list. Every. Fucking. Day.

Now I'm telling you to do the same. At least three things you will miss if you give in to despair. Here my three right now:

Outliving Agent Orange. When he dies, I'm gonna celebrate it like no other before.

Making new quilts. Can't do that if I'm not here.

Watching Agent Orange's downfall. It will happen, and I will live to fucking see it. The higher they rise, the harder they fall.

Now make a post with your three, add more as you find more. Looking forward to a book? The next addition to a fanfiction? Petting a cat? Any reason is valid if it gives you something to look forward to.

*I named that inner voice Susan, for the cruelest cunt ass bitch I have ever known. She made sport of hurting people, then turned around and guilt-tripped anyone who called her out in it. When those thoughts get loud, I visualize beating the ever living shit out of that bitch, silencing her.

It's extremely satisfying.

[merlucide]

Little rant RAAA

like imma be real

I miss being a little writer on here 😭 yeah it fun having so much reach and reaction but it doesn’t have the same satisfaction??

— And I’m not complaining, I am very greatful and excited at how much attention my blog has gotten!! Like over 1.k is insane 😭😭 I still can’t grasp the fact that it’s over A T H O U S A N D P E O P L E

but when I was a little writer, I was more motivated— I worked harder, it was more fun. I would also make more posts just talking about whatever yk?

I would apologize to my like 28 followers for not posting every day lmao— but I felt like these people really liked my stuff and wanted to read my work!! Now it’s just like, not that feeling

I’m not like a writer-writer, I mainly post Headcannons or Smaus or whatever— but I used to really think and get excited to put something out and now it’s just like what I do ? If that make sense, like brushing your teeth yk?

Maybe this sounds dramatic, since this is a fanfiction blog lmao, but it’s just a little saddening to me

I really wanna have that same joy that I had when I had under 100 followers.

I think a part of it is like— a weird rivalry? lmao??

I have fanfic-writer friends on here, who are well known/popular and I love them dearly— but I think I started like getting insecure of my own work? like ‘oh, that’s like way better than what I’m putting out’ or ‘they got so much more attention than I did’

after I started getting more attention I like wanted to be known? lmao? like I admired other writers and remembered their blogs and wanted to be like them yk? Like ‘That Bllk blog’ or whatever the hell im writing about

which again, you could be like ‘girl… you write fanfics as a hobby.. it’s not that deep’ lol

This isn’t something that’s really important lmao, like it’s really not that deep just a thought you know.

I’ve been really think over the past few months about quite literally everything. I’m starting to make subtle changes in my life too, so I’m just feeling everything lmao.

I’m really good at being an optimist, but I’m even better at being a pessimist.

I will never truly be happy, I will always find something to make myself sad. Well, the mind finds negative emotions much more interesting than positive ones, so it’s not easy to stop heh. But I’m making progress, slowly, incrementally.

It’s really hard to break the same patterns, it’s so much easier pretending I’ve already achieved my goals in my head. But alas, that is just a daydream, and a coping mechanism, heh.

Sigh, I’ll get there eventually, baby steps. It’s not like I need to change now anyways, I’m okay as I am. But I’m so much ready for more. I’m ready to change and evolve, to grow and learn, to actually be the me I want to be.

Wow okay not sure how this went from fanfic writing to self growth 😭

Just a rant :>

[crownedghostprince]

Thorin's Company x Heterochromia!Reader Headcanons

Thorin's Company x Heterochromia!Reader

Fandom: The Hobbit/LoTR

What if the dwarves met and loved (platonically or romantically) someone in Middle Earth who had a very unique condition where their eyes were coloured differently? In this world, heterochromia is incredibly rare with only a few known cases in the entire world so the dwarves are naturally curious about this.

And you get to see how your favourites might react in this Headcanon style fanfiction!

Requests: Closed. Requested: no.

Warning(s): Minor mentions of bullying and reader's family members dying in certain headcanons. Nothing graphic. <3

Note: Please note I will be changing reader's heterochromia for each dwarf's headcanon to make the writing very different. I hope that's okay. This is because this is mostly a crack-fic <3

I will also sometimes specify when reader is a woman, or has feminine characteristics/pronouns are used or mentioned, I hope that is also okay. Enjoy! :)

Word Count: 13,401 (roughly lol)

[Second Person Perspective]

(Apologies for the image. I was going to post an image of Thorin's Company here, but then I realized you might not have seen a picture of a bunny today. This adorable bunny image was originally posted by "Heidi's Cottage" on tumblr! Please show them some love!!)

♡

Thorin: (Romantic): (Dark Blue eyes with Brown around one's center)

♡ Your eyes are a little harder for Thorin to notice at first.

♡ The dark colours of your eyes and Thorin being too embarrassed to make eye-contact with you when you first met are the reasons it took him a week to notice your unique eyes.

♡ You had first met at Bilbo's house in the Shire where the candlelight bounced off the blue of your eyes when Thorin glanced over at you.

♡ You pretended to not notice him stealing glances as you listened to the gathering.

♡ So, after a week of Thorin being protective, sweet and considerate towards you, he finally noticed your eyes.

♡ It was a beautiful sunny morning and Thorin was allowing the company a few more minutes to brush and re-braid their hair.

♡ You decided to take care of your own hair and absentmindedly admired the clouds as they drifted by from above.

♡ Thorin joined you under the warm sun and made some small conversation about the journey, how rough it would be...mostly making sure you're prepared mentally.

♡ But his breath caught in his throat when you turned to meet his eyes.

♡ He always thought you shared the exact same eye colour, albeit your eyes being a much darker blue, but today he was proven wrong as his eyes drifted to the eye with the brown ring around the pupil.

♡ In the sunlight this brown colour was very distinguished and even looked slightly like caramel.

♡ He was so stunned by the beautiful design adorning your eye he didn't speak for another minute.

♡ When you finally asked if everything was alright, he slowly nodded and spoke.

♡ "In all my years I've never witnessed such beauty. Like a rare gemstone whose colours are only truly seen once under the sunlight."

♡ Please his compliments are so cute and sweet. And creative!

♡ "It's as if your eye wrapped itself in a warm autumn blanket before the cold blue winter covered it with its' icy snow."

♡ He loves your eyes even more now.

♡ They're a sight he cherishes every day.

♡ Sometimes when he can't see the brown around your pupil, he'll gently move you into the sunlight, or bring a candle between you two so he can watch the colour light up and glow.

♡ He made you a dagger with a beautiful wooden design around one of the two sapphires that adorned the handle.

♡ "I wanted to capture your eyes in this dagger for future generations to witness and admire." He smiled as he gave you his gift.

♡ There were also intricate words in Khuzdul that you now knew read, "The eyes of My Beloved."

♡ This sweet hopeless romantic makes sure you never feel embarrassed about your eyes and also stops anyone who might even joke about them. To him they're something to celebrate. Not to mock. <3

~~~

Fili: (Romantic): (Light Blue and Dark Green eyes) ((This is gonna be long, sorry lol))

♡ Your eyes are very noticeable when people first meet you.

♡ Your light blue eye stands out the most and draws people to your eyes when they first meet you, thus leading them to immediately notice the dark green colour of your other eye.

♡ When I say dark green, it's not that dark, it's simply a very strong and rich green colour.

♡ However this was not the case when you first met the dwarves during a fight against some orcs as the group ran towards Rivendell - your home.

♡ You were waiting for Gandalf's arrival when you and the other elves heard orcs just in the distance.

♡ You all saddled up and you rode alongside Lord Elrond as you all charged into battle, firing your arrows and drawing them away from Rivendell's secret entrance.

♡ You rode your horse past the entrance to the secret tunnel to make sure the orc that fell in was definitely dead and you noticed a group of dwarves, alongside Gandalf, just hidden inside.

♡ Your hair covered your eyes and the light being directly behind you made you appear more like an apparition to the dwarves rather than an actual, physical being.

♡ Thus you quickly turned away, allowing them to finish their journey to Rivendell alone as dwarves and elves typically do not get along.

♡ Once you had made it back to Rivendell, circling the dwarves and feeling unsure of their intentions, you noticed a beautiful blond dwarf in the group.

♡ He stood out from the rest of the group, the sunlight bouncing off of his hair and causing it to practically glow under its' light.

♡ You dismounted after Lord Elrond and greeted Mithrandir (Gandalf) before turning to the group.

♡ Your excellent hearing picked up on all of the stunned, but soft, gasps that flooded the group upon seeing your unique eye colours.

♡ You were simply amused by their reactions. Afterall, your eyes were a rare sight to behold.

♡ Quiet, polite whispers started to circle the group before Thorin and Lord Elrond greeted each other.

♡ "Are those her real eye colours?"

♡ "Of course, Ori, hush."

♡ "Whoa~"

♡ "Did you see his eyes, Fili?" That was a brunett dwarf with scruff talking to the blond.

♡ You simply gave the group a curt nod and avoided the blond's eye-contact before following Lindir up the steps so you could clean up and change out of your armour.

♡ The thoughts circled through your head. But specifically the name of the beautifully handsome blond dwarf...'Fili'. His name rolled through your head over and over again like a bouncy melody that never leaves your thoughts.

♡ Eventually, whilst playing your small harp you noticed heavy footsteps walking up the stairs towards you. You opened your eyes and continued to play your favourite melody as the birds in the trees above you sang along.

♡ As you expected, one of the dwarves walked up the steps and stopped at the top. But unexpectedly, it was the blond, Fili. You greeted each other with a smile and he approached you nervously.

♡ "I like your eyes. It's like the Gods couldn't choose if sapphires or emeralds would suit you better, so they gave you both." He smiled dreamily.

♡ Damnnnn he got that 'Line of Durin' rizzzz. (I'm sorry).

♡ (I'm still sorry about before) ♡ (please accept my apologies....) ♡ (I will give you cookies)

♡ And this is where your sweet romance blossomed and continued to bloom for many years.

♡ "Thank-you. I like your hair. It glows like fire under the sun's light. It's stunning." You smiled back, taking a break from your music to flirt with the sweet dwarf.

♡ He brings you green zennia (associated with lasting affection) and bluebell flowers (associated with everlasting love).

♡ When he found out what your favourite animal was he immediately made you a courting gift. A necklace with the animal as the main piece with a sapphire and emerald for each eye. Matching your eyes perfectly.

♡ You happily showed him your own courting gift. "We were thinking the same thing!" You laughed as you gave him the painting you'd made of him.

♡ It was hyper-realistic and you could see every strand of hair and even the eyelashes adorning his blue eyes on it. It was also textured so he could feel the grooves and bumps as he brushed his fingers across it.

♡ He loved it and you two had the best courtship ever.

♡ You courted for a couple years before marrying and life had never been better for the both of you.

♡ "Your eyes are enchanting. Like the forest meets the ocean. And they marry." He grins, sliding across a small box with rings and hair beads.

♡ "Oh? Is this your way of implying something?" You smile back, sliding over your own small box.

♡ "You gotta stop thinking the same thing I'm thinking. At this rate we're gonna have two celebratory weddings." He laughs.

♡ "Y'know, I see nothing wrong with that."

♡ Y'all are so cute, please have a nice two weddings.

♡ He loves making you laugh and smile - watching your eyes light up with joy. You make him so happy every single day.

~~~

Kili: (Romantic): (Dark Brown and Blue eyes) ((This is gonna be long, sorry lol))

♡ When you started travelling with the company, you had fallen from the modern world into Middle Earth with your sunglasses.

♡ And damn was the sunlight bright! So you almost always wear your sunglasses unless it's night and you're sleeping.

♡ So no one usually sees your eye colours and when they do, it's more just a glance of your blue eye.

♡ Then, one day Thorin decides to set up camp earlier than usual allowing everyone time to relax in the sunlight and watch the sunset as you all ate Bombur's delicious cooking.

♡ You spent all your time during the journey cracking jokes and trading stories with everyone. But you mostly hung out with Fili and Kili, having fun riding alongside them and dancing in the rainy nights.

♡ It was a lot of fun to be with this group. And this day was no different as you sat beside the brothers and joked around.

♡ Once the sun had set enough and the sky started to change colour you took your sunglasses off to admire the colours without the soft orange tint you were used to.

♡ Fili - being an excellent wingman for his brother and best friend - left you both for a few minutes to help Bombur clean up the dishes and find more firewood with Bilbo.

♡ You smiled and dragged your eyes away from the sunset to see Kili's reaction and found him already staring back at you with the softest brown eyes you've ever seen.

♡ A moment passed between you two as you both admired each other's eyes before chuckling and awkwardly turning back to look at the sunset.

♡ "Your eyes are beautiful. I've never seen anything like them. Everyone's eyes are usually very similar...but yours are different. I like them" He grinned. You watched as his face and ears grew red.

♡ "You're so cute. Thank-you, darling."

♡ He brings you blue flowers that have bits of brown on them. Whether from decay, dirt, mud or just the colouration. (is that a word?) But either way he loves bringing you flowers.

♡ Especially your favourite flowers. He'll bring you those whenever you pass them on your journey.

♡ You both play silly games to pass the time where you basically say what you like about the other, or try and guess their favourite thing, etc.

♡ He doesn't draw too much attention to your eyes, because he doesn't know if it's a sensitive topic or something you're uncomfortable with.

♡ But he definitely encourages you to wear your sunglasses less often when you're comfortable with it. Especially when it's just the two of you together.

♡ After reclaiming Erebor he'll sometimes surround you with candles until he can't fit anymore in the circle around you. Just so he can see you lit up under the candlelight.

♡ He's cute.

♡ Definitely brings you clothes with brown and blue mixed together in beautiful patterns that dance down the fabric and across the threads.

♡ He loves seeing you dance, loving how your eyes light up with excitement and joy. Sparkling towards him like gemstones under moonlight.

♡ Once you learned Khuzdul, he confidently made you a dwarvish bead as a gift with the words "my darling river" written on them very finely.

♡ You wear it all the time and only take it out to brush your hair when he's there. But typically only he can take it out to brush your hair and then braid it back in.

♡ He adores you and sees your eyes as just another reason to love you.

♡ Kili loves your sense of humour, your fun facts, all your little quirks and habits, etc.

♡ But surprisingly, he loves your hair more than anything else.

♡ He loves when you style it in a new, or fun way. He also loves when you dye it and will offer to help you dye your hair.

♡ Once you even dyed some bronze highlights through his hair that shone like copper in the sunlight.

~~~

Dwalin: (Romantic): (Dark Brown and Light Hazel eyes) ((This is gonna be long, sorry lol))

♡ Dwalin and the Company were fighting orcs and running for their lives, following Gandalf to safety when you jumped in from out of nowhere to help them fight the orcs.

♡ You used your incredible arcobatic skills and daggers to take down the orcs and wargs with the dwarves' and wizard's aid.

♡ After the fight, you turned to the group with a big smile, specifically greeting Gandalf.

♡ After bowing for Thorin and the group and introducing yourself, Gandalf encouraged you to join them over a nice dinner.

♡ You were only planning on staying until they found camp, enjoy dinner with them and then be back on your own way - aimlessly wandering the beautiful land.

♡ But Gandalf's offer was hard to decline, especially after you'd met the incredibly cool dwarf, Dwalin.

♡ His scars probably had awesome stories to tell and you were curious to hear them.

♡ You loved his style, the cool and cold exterior he had with a constant frown. But you saw his eyes clearly had a different story to tell.

♡ You decided in the morning you'd accept Gandalf's kind invite and would fight for the dwarves to take their home back. "I'd be honoured to fight alongside you all."

♡ "Here you go, lad. Just sign this paper and we'll proceed." Balin smiled, handing you the paper. You thanked him, signed it after a quick read and finished packing up the camp. You were on your way on another strange adventure with this equally strange wizard.

♡ But at least you had someone to talk to.

♡ You were kind to everyone, but especially went out of your way to talk to Dwalin, even if it was just small acknowledgements and 'are you okay?'s. That's all you needed, honestly.

♡ It took a while, but you saw him quietly warming up to you which showed mostly during a fight. You were a bit further away from the group than you had intended to be when Dwalin suddenly appeared by your side and helped you take down the group of orcs surrounding you.

♡ You both nodded and returned to the group, not saying much else until the rest of the orcs had run off or died. "Thank-you."

♡ "It's fine, lad." He simply nodded and walked by your side.

♡ After reclaiming Erebor and the battle (in which Thorin, Kili and Fili lived) you and Dwalin talked for hours whilst recovering. Not only were your temporary beds just across from each other, but you both were given some books to read until your bones healed.

♡ But you couldn't read Khuzdul, so you asked Dwalin to read them to you. He seemed hesitant but after a couple awkward hours of silence and boredom, he finally read the books.

♡ He read sentences in Khuzdul first, then translated them to English before continuing to the next.

♡ You didn't mind. In fact, hearing him talk in Khuzdul was fascinating to hear as his accent got thicker and his voice was louder. A contrast to the quieter English he'd then speak to you after.

♡ It took months and months before you both began to court and even then he hardly ever complimented you.

♡ It took a candlelight dinner, a walk through the forest outside of Erebor under the moonlight and you constantly complimenting him until he was brave enough to return your affections.

♡ "Your eyes are stunning. They glow like fire under the light." He smiled, turning away to look at the trees.

♡ He's surprisingly awkward and shy for someone so tough and cool. He's not sure how to compliment you, or court you.

♡ But he always knows what you might like gift wise. He'll bring you daggers, belts and once even a water-proof cowl from Dale for your travels.

♡ All the gifts he brings you perfectly compliment your eyes. Browns, oranges, soft yellows and simple beige outfits.

♡ Every time he leaves Erebor, he'll return with rocks, accessories and hats as simple little gifts he got for you.

♡ He cares a lot about you and always make sure any injuries you have are immediately tended to, even if you brush them off as simple scratches.

♡ He brings you food and water if you've just returned from a journey and want to go straight to bed. And when Thorin allows him, he'll journey with you.

♡ He loves to dance with you, especially under the sunlight in an open field of flowers. The colours and light cause your eyes to twinkle brightly and he loves it.

♡ The brown turning to caramel, the hazel shining in an almost green colour under the sunlight and blue under the moonlight.

♡ He loves to bring you new shades of clothing to see what colour your hazel eye will look most like when you wear it.

♡ Sometimes you'll wear blue and your hazel eye will look similar, but other times you'll wear red and the hazel in your eyes turns almost brown.

♡ Your eyes are a fascinating sight for him watch.

♡ He even writes down little notes about how your hazel eye changes around each colour.

♡ Even though the colour is also based on lighting, mood and other factors, you don't mention that. It's nice to just listen to him mutter and write little notes about your eyes each night.

~~~

Bofur: (Romantic): (Dark Hazel and Silver eyes)

♡ Your eyes are incredibly hard to miss.

♡ Bofur noticed them immediately when you first met in the ruins of Dale after the battle for Erebor. You had come from Laketown alongside everyone else and had quickly learned how to defend yourself and fight against orcs during the battle.

♡ He was walking around the ruins of Dale to help check on everyone and bring to them the healers and you were ushering children back to their parents and helping people dig themselves out of rubble when you two stumbled across each other.

♡ Both of you were scratched up, bruised and tired. But despite all that, you were both awestruck by the other's beauty.

♡ His shining armour, fluffy hat, twinkling eyes and the soft smile that grew wider when you greeted him. Gosh, you were nervous just talking to him.

♡ Your glowing hair, soft skin, dumbfounded look and distinctive eye colours. How could he not smile upon seeing you?

♡ He thought you looked stunning.

♡ After that day, you both hung out a lot. Whether in Dale or Erebor, you'd both just aimlessly walk for hours laughing at each other's jokes. You'd eat dinner together. Sometimes with the Company and other times with your friend group.

♡ He didn't shy away from complimenting you before you were even courting.

♡ "The silver glows like a diamond under the moonlight. What an amazing discovery...to see a gemstone this far above the ground." He smiled.

♡ "Such a beautiful mixture of green and brown and blue. Like a river flowing through a pine forest. Its' beauty is truly unmatched by any forest I've seen."

♡ Don't let the Ents overhear Bofur! He's so sweet!!

♡ So you best believe, his compliments only increased tenfold after you began courting.

♡ "Ghivashel, you look stunning this morning." (Translation: Treasure of all treasures).

♡ "Do you need help with that, mizimel?" (Translation: Jewel of all jewels).

♡ He loves making dolls with mismatched eyes now. He specifically made one for you though. Matching the hazel and silver of your eyes. For the hazel eye he used a zircon gemstone and the silver eye was a diamond.

♡ The beautiful doll had a lovely dress and hair that also matched yours. With your permission, he cut some of your hair and sewed it into the doll's head. The doll sits right beside your bed at all times and sometimes you even cuddle it to help you sleep.

♡ He spends hours asking you to sing and read to him whilst he lays down beside you or on your lap. Loving the way your eyes light up when you reach your favourite parts. Or when you're particularly proud of how you read, or sung, a part.

♡ Some nights it's just you and Bofur sitting under a tree, leaning against its trunk whilst listening to the world around you.

♡ You cherish the quiet moments you get to spend with Bofur, as sometimes you can't spend time together when you're both so busy with work.

♡ So, you both just enjoy each other's presences when you can. Resting together, falling asleep in soft grass and waking up to a bright sun above the hills, surrounding you both with its' glow.

♡ Beautiful morning, after beautiful morning. Time passed for months, seasons, and years. Until you both decided to marry. :)

~~~

Balin: (Platonic): (Light Blue and Dark Blue) ((This is gonna be long, sorry lol))

♡ Growing up was a struggle for you as your father had died fighting for Moria alongside Thorin Oakenshield.

♡ But Balin had noticed you when you were just a child; a young Dwarf watching the warriors return from Moria's battle.

♡ You watched as they praised Thorin Oakenshield and called him 'King' and 'Future King' depending on the dwarves.

♡ But still you searched for your father. More interested in hearing how the battle went from him.

♡ And when you couldn't find your father, you began to cry. A hand was gently placed on your shoulder so you looked up and there Balin was. Looking down at you with sad eyes.

♡ You hugged him immediately and began talking incoherently - asking for your father, where he was and why he hadn't returned.

♡ Balin took you under his wing after that day and to his astonishment, he watched as you grew up and your eyes slowly changed colour.

♡ Eyes can sometimes take years before they reach their permanent colour and that was how it was for you.

♡ By the time you were 7 years old, your eyes changed into totally opposite blue colours: one light blue like a topaz and the other very dark like the ocean.

♡ Balin raised you as best he could with help from Thorin and Dwalin. You also became good friends with Thorin's nephews, Fili and Kili.

♡ None of the dwarves ever ostracized you for your heterochromia, but instead they really adored you.

♡ Balin and you always travelled to the markets together. You were always helping him when he was tinkering with toys, practicing with a sword (you'd have a small wooden sword) and you both also tended to a garden together.

♡ Growing Coneflowers in the garden as they are very hardy flowers that can grow despite bad soil and drought. Hence growing them in a mostly dry, stone-y environment was a piece of cake.

♡ He could never resist your puppy-dog eyes when you wanted to travel with him. The light from the sun made your eyes sparkle and he didn't ever want you to cry or feel left alone.

♡ If he couldn't take you somewhere with him, Dwalin was fine with watching over you and letting you learn a bit of simpler smithing. He'd show you how necklaces were made and even some rings.

♡ If you ever grew self-conscious of your eyes, Balin would write and read to you stories of fantasy creatures with different coloured eyes.

♡ Somethings like... "Juniper didn't know why the others would play without him. He didn't know what made him different from the rest. He sat by the river one day and listened to all the different birds. Their different songs and colours. When suddenly, he realized something! He was different! But not on the outside!...

...Juniper ran to his mother very excitedly! He happily declared to her, 'I'm going to become the best fairy dancer one day!' and she smiled with joy, 'Of course you will be! And I'll be there to watch your every performance!' It was on this day Juniper decided his eyes were not the reason others did not play with him. It was because they didn't know who he was on the inside, and he was going to show them who he was! And he would dance with them at every celebration! He'd perform each move perfectly and smile the whole time. He'd show the world who he was and shine brightly for all to see."

♡ And many more stories similar to that, but perhaps a few pages longer...or a few chapters longer. :)

♡ You had many books of these fantasy stories handwritten by Balin by the time you were a teenager. And you re-read them all the time.

♡ He'd say "Child, never feel different because of your eyes. Know you're different because of your heart. Because of what you'll do with your life when you grow up. Know you're going to do amazing things in your life."

~~~

Bifur: (Platonic): (Light Brown with half of one eye being Light Green) ((This is gonna be long, sorry lol))

♡ You grew up in Earth with a cat companion that had the same colour eyes as you.

♡ Her name was Delta and she was a calico that followed you everywhere and slept with you in bed every night.

♡ Unfortunately for Delta, this meant she fell into Middle Earth with you when a portal suddenly appeared below you on one of your walks in the garden.

♡ You both fell super fast and you gripped Delta tightly against your chest - braced for impact.

♡ But the impact was softer than you thought it would be. Slowly you opened your eyes and looked around you.

♡ Realizing you had fallen directly onto a bush and a large portal above you, far up in the sky, closed.

♡ 'Oh dear...' you thought, 'Mum's not going to be happy about this.'

♡ To be fair, for an eleven-year-old, magic portals were the least of your concern and instead: 'when mum finds out I'm going to be grounded,' was currently more concerning to you.

♡ Delta - being very cuddly - allowed you to pick her up and carry her around once you brushed some dirt off yourself.

♡ You wandered. You were very lost by the time the sun was falling behind the hills that lay far past the forest you were trapped in.

♡ It was only just getting dark when a group of horses and people travelled down the road towards you and Delta.

♡ You watched as they came to a stop. A tall wizard-looking man with grey hair and beard was at the front of the group and he looked at you with very soft and kind eyes.

♡ Delta hissed at the sudden people, so you took a couple steps back and tensed to run.

♡ But the wizard spoke to the others and decided to set up camp and stop for the night. He hopped off his horse and walked towards you, switching a staff from one hand to the other as he approached before he crouched down, leaning on the staff for support to meet your height.

♡ "Hello." He greeted warmly.

♡ "Hello..." You greeted less confidently. And that's how you found yourself in the world of Middle Earth, meeting a group of dwarves, a hobbit and a wizard.

♡ They took great care of you and as you were too shy to speak, Bifur especially took to caring for you. He picked up on your non-verbal communication a lot faster than the others did and helped you climb onto the horses every morning.

♡ He helped you down every evening and made sure you were given food first every dinner and breakfast. He even made sure there were on-the-road snacks just for you to have lunch.

♡ Bifur never pushed boundaries or made you feel uncomfortable or unsafe. Quite the opposite actually, you felt safer with him rather than anyone else. Perhaps it was because he didn't expect you to talk, or respond.

♡ Nor did he ever push you to verbally communicate when you were still feeling too shy or scared.

♡ Although in our eyes the dwarves are incredibly friendly and kind and not very intimidating - save Dwalin - to an eleven-year-old, they were quite the scary, loud and unpredictable bunch.

♡ Laughing loudly quite suddenly, or grabbing food quite quickly and talking and singing all the time. You found you couldn't guess what they'd do next, but you also grew to love that chaos about them.

♡ Bifur was actually the first to pet Delta when you joined the Company on their adventure. He pet her to reassure you that you were both safe with the group.

♡ And yes, that worked perfectly. You stuck with them the whole journey and whilst they took extra care in keeping you safe, secure and out of danger, you still had to do a fair bit of running to keep up.

♡ Especially after you lost the ponies to the goblins. The Company was tempted to leave you with the Elves of Rivendell but Thorin immediately denied the idea and made sure you travelled with them.

♡ Lord Elrond had been very kind to you though and gave you paper and ink to draw with. You spent hours in Rivendell drawing flowers for the Company and showing them off proudly at night.

♡ They were very impressed and encouraging.

♡ But back to Bifur and you!

♡ At night when you were first adjusting to the new environment, you became terrified by the lack of light and began to cry, holding onto Delta for comfort. Bifur took notice immediately having been on first watch.

♡ He quietly called you over and came to get you. He then let you sit beside him as he watched over the camp and told you silly little stories via charades and shadow puppets. He used what was left of the fire's light for the shadow puppets.

♡ You became calmer and happier as the stories progressed and eventually you had drifted to sleep. You felt safe and you had a purring cat on your lap, so why wouldn't you feel safe?

♡ Bifur made sure you were supported and had a pillow to sleep on, letting you use his. He gave you a couple back pats as you drifted off until finally you were asleep and no longer crying.

♡ He went back to watch and kept an eye on you in case you had nightmares, but you slept just fine.

♡ As you may have noticed, the Company hasn't had much to remark about your unique eye colour.

♡ This is because your eyes a slightly harder to notice a difference in. The brown is very bright and the green is a soft shade that almost perfectly blends with the brown half of your eye.

♡ This perfect blend of colours made it harder for them to notice that the colours were different on your smaller eyes that you often avoided meeting people's gazes with.

♡ But they noticed it almost right away on Delta and thought she looked adorable.

♡ Bifur thought she was quite a lucky little kitty to be loved by someone so kind despite her unique eyes. Then one day you spoke up as they compliment Delta's eyes and asked about them.

♡ "Yeah, I was really excited when we found her. My mother said it was a big coincidence that we found a cat with the same coloured eyes as me." You softly laughed, petting Delta with a smile.

♡ The Company was quite for a while before Bifur finally made them ask you more about it.

♡ "What do you mean, child?"

♡ So you showed them. "I thought my eyes were very noticeable." You giggled, letting the light enhance the colours.

♡ Overall, your eyes are less noticeable, but Bifur made sure you knew that your eyes changed nothing about you. You were more than your outward appearance.

♡ But also, this is Bifur we're talking about. He brushes things off very fast when it doesn't seem that important.

♡ If you ever feel insecure? He'll grab a translator (Bofur) and make sure you know that your eyes will never change how others see you. Especially when your eyes are so pretty.

♡ He's great, but in a quiet way. He brings no attention to your eyes, mostly not noticing anything different regardless and only talks about them when you do. Like I said, he'd never push you to talk about stuff you don't want to.

♡ Bifur simply wants to make sure you survive in this new world and grow up just fine.

~~~

Ori: (Platonic): (Yellow and Grey)

♡ Ori was excited to travel with his friends and family and to go on such a daring adventure across Middle Earth to retake the mountain of Erebor.

♡ He was especially excited to join his family in some food at an apparently "very welcoming hobbit"s home.

♡ So when the Company showed up at Bilbo's home unannounced and without much more knowledge from the Wizard on who exactly this hobbit was, they were very surprised to find a young adult hobbit living with the older hobbit.

♡ About Ori's age, roughly 18 or so if you convert their ages to human years.

♡ Ori was excited to meet someone else his age, aside from Fili and Kili who were slightly older. So you can imagine everyone's surprise when they see her eyes in the bright candlelight.

♡ Now they've seen grey eyes, especially on older dwarves. This wasn't an uncommon eye colour at all.

♡ But yellow? Yellow eyes? And grey? Both? At the same time, but in a different eye each?

♡ That was certainly new.

♡ You didn't mind all their questions at first. Until they asked how it happened to which you had no clue. You didn't understand genetics, or biology and how could you? You were a simple florist who designed bouquets for any occasion a hobbit asked for.

♡ Anniversary? Roses, carnations and peonies. Birthday? Dahlias, orchids and chrysanthemums. Apology? Tulips, daffodils and lilies of the valley.

♡ But biology? All you could think of in your head was sunflowers and azalea for yellow; and low ho silver iris and edelweiss flowers for grey.

♡ But that was your brain designing a bouquet after your eye colours. Not the knowledge of how your eye colours came to be.

♡ Young Ori was especially fascinated by your eyes. How the grey would turn into an almost soft, pastel yellow in the candlelight and your yellow eye would glow like embers from a fire.

♡ When you were allowed to travel with the group, Ori watched as your grey eye glowed silver in the moonlight and the yellow glowed like a soft gold.

♡ You and Ori got along greatly and had lots of fun just talking about flowers and art. Ori would show you his sketches and they were so good you could pick out each individual flower he drew without needing to see his references.

♡ You were thankful he never judged you for your eyes. He was probably the first friend you had that didn't immediately judge you for looking a little different or 'weird' as others would say.

♡ He was super sweet and he even drew your eyes as best he could when sketching. You were more than happy to model for him as the sound of his sketching helped lull you into a cozy sleep late at night.

♡ This especially helped as the climate got colder and the floor harder to rest on. He can also read.

♡ So he'd sometimes read a book very quietly to you as you both huddled around the fire. You didn't understand the written dwarvish in front of you, but Ori was careful with his translations and the stories were very interesting.

♡ He said he only brought a couple of copies of books from back home, that way it wouldn't matter if he lost these books, he'd still have the originals. (In case you were worried).

♡ The stories of birds, dwarves, dragons and grand adventures kept your interest whilst sending you off to sleep. You dreamt about these grand stories. No wonder they were Ori's favourites.

♡ He was so sweet and always complimented your eyes. So you always complimented his eyes back. It was like having a brother. Similar to how Bilbo was almost like a father to you since he took you in eight years ago.

♡ You were a lost hobbit from a small hobbit town that was quite a while away from the Shire. Your parents died of disease and you were terrified of being next.

♡ But Bilbo properly nursed you back to good health and helped you through the grief and acceptance.

♡ And now here you were. Standing strong and with new friends, watching your 'father' flirt terribly with the leader of the group, Thorin.

♡ It was pretty funny and you and Ori got to joke about it lots when the other's wouldn't hear.

♡ Ori never once purposefully draws attention to you or your eyes, but he'll always be there if you speak up or someone else does.

♡ Like a protective older brother. He learned a lot from Dori.

~~~

Dori: (Platonic): (Silver and Dark Brown) ((This is gonna be long, sorry lol))

♡ When you were born, like most babies, you had very blue eyes. Just like your parents.

♡ But as you grew older, your parents watched with worry as your eyes changed. One eye getting lighter and lighter every day as the other became darker and darker.

♡ Your parents tried not to be too worried. After all, a local doctor said it was natural for children's eyes to change colour some weeks, and even years, after birth.

♡ But by the time you were 5 years old, one eye was completely silver and the other was a very dark brown. Your parents did their best to help you feel normal and to always comfort you after other children's strange or mean comments.

♡ Despite all that though, sometimes you wished you had an older sibling that could be by your side growing up. Someone to play games with, read books with, bake food with, etc. The other children were scared because your eyes made you 'different'.

♡ So they avoided you for many years. By the time you were an adult, you felt very insecure and styled your hair to fall over your silver eye as, 'brown is more common', children kept saying.

♡ During your first ever adventure outside of your small human village, you discovered a wandering grey wizard who took great interest in your clothing. You were wonderful at sewing and embroidery and he loved seeing all the intricate flowers, dragons and designs you had done on your clothing.

♡ He was especially surprised to find out you even sewed all your clothing yourself. He invited you to join him and the elves of Rivendell, of whom he was on his way to surprise with a visit. "They are very skilled with the fine arts such as embroidery and could teach you anything you wished to know about the art." He promised with a mysterious glint in his eyes.

♡ You ignored the thought at the back of your mind that wondered what he was planning and instead accepted his offer immediately. And he was right. Lord Elrond was very welcoming and taught you a great deal about sewing and embroidery. He even offered for you to visit as often as you liked between your future travels and you excitedly accepted.

♡ (Now the moment you've all been waiting for)

♡ One day after you had returned to Rivendell, a group of Dwarves and a hobbit showed up alongside a familiar wizard. You noticed them when they walked up the steps into Rivendell, following Lord Elrond who gave you a curt nod.

♡ You smiled and waved back, still holding a stunning Elven dress in your hands that you'd been embroidering. The elves had helped you to make it for special occasions if you ever wanted to join their celebrations in proper Elvish attired.

♡ Despite friendly nods from the hobbit and wizard, the Dwarves didn't really acknowledge you all that much - aside from glances to see if you were elf or human.

♡ But during a dinner with the elves and guests, they got to know you a bit more. Especially when you laughed and cheered to their songs and dances.

♡ You couldn't possibly be all that bad if you liked their music.

♡ They were there for weeks and during that time you slowly got to know them. An older dwarf, who was the eldest of his brothers, would especially spend time talking with you after you shared interest in wine.

♡ Every time you tried a new wine with him, he'd make sure to tell you all the cool details and facts about where and how it was grown, as well as how long it was left, why it should be left for however long, etc.

♡ You can now predict how long a wine should be left for based on how it was made. You also can sort of tell how aged a wine is by its taste. Not really, but you try and Dori gives you extra credit for that.

♡ His own brothers sympathize with the random wine and grapevine knowledge you'll be left knowing for the rest of your life. They too were subjected to hours of drunk Dori's stories and trivia.

♡ But the family was fun to hangout with - especially when they were completely drunk - so you didn't mind all that much.

♡ One day whilst you were drinking, Ori suddenly spoke up and asked, "Excuse me, (Y/N), but why does your hair cover one of your eyes? Doesn't that just make it harder to see?"

♡ "Aw, leave them alone, Ori." Bofur spoke up from the corner, smoking. "I think it's a cute style, (Y/N)." He gave a quick thumbs up.

♡ You returned it with a smile. "Nah, I don't mind the question." You chuckled, replying simply, "It is a bit hard to see with, but it doesn't affect my sight that much."

♡ You didn't feel comfortable telling anyone about your eye colour at that point. But Dori somehow sensed that something was a little off with your reply. He didn't pry, but he used his exquisite big brother skills to deduce a perfect solution to your current discomfort.

♡ Cheese.

♡ Therefore, Dori discreetly elbowed your arm and like a proper 'Wine Aunt' that visits every Christmas, he snuck you a little gift - a piece of cheese - when no one was looking and gave you a little nod of encouragement.

♡ "Thanks, Dori." You whispered when everyone was singing loudly and distracted.

♡ "No worries, kid." He grinned.

♡ Months went by, then years after they took back Erebor from Smaug. And you remained good friends with the Company and Bilbo. It was this winter you had decided to visit, your big brother figure Dori.

♡ During the time they were adventuring you opened up to Lord Elrond about your eye colours and he helped you feel more confident and comfortable with your appearance.

♡ It was the small things. Like the elves helping you change your hairstyle ever so slightly to show both your eyes and to frame your face better. Silver jewelry and beautiful leather clothes, boots and gauntlets.

♡ But all they did helped you so much, you'd almost forgotten there was anything different about you to begin with.

♡ So when you visited the dwarves, it's safe to say that jaws dropped.

♡ After all, heterochromia is one thing. SILVER heterochromia is another. Your eyes matched the fallen snow. The silver jewelry that adorned your ears as gifts from the kind elves. The silver moonlight that shone behind you when you entered the mountain.

♡ Bofur and Nori couldn't stop complimenting how beautiful it was and Ori desperately wanted to draw you. He'd never seen someone with two, beautiful eye colours and he wanted to remember the incredible sight.

♡ Dori basically became a temporary bodyguard by making sure no one was asking weird questions, or crossing your boundaries. He made sure to take you to a nice, quiet corner for some wine if you got overwhelmed by the attention.

♡ Your first night there was chaotic, but Dori had your back.

♡ He wasn't about to let anyone upset you. The group really helped you feel comfortable and confident. Adults being curious about such a phenomenon is very different to growing up with adults that feared the change.

♡ One day, Dori surprised you with a jeweled dagger the company had gotten together to make for you. "So you can stab anyone who insults you." Said Dori.

♡ "So you may defend yourself from danger, orcs, goblins or bandits." Corrected Thorin.

♡ "Or so you can look like a cool warrior facing off against wild beasts when hunting." Encouraged Ori.

♡ "Alright, alright. But it's also for stabbing." Dori huffed.

♡ "Guys, thank-you all so much for this." You smiled gratefully. The dagger was adorned with two jewels. A smokey quartz and a crystal. It matched your eyes.

♡ "It was Dori's idea." Balin grinned, throwing Dori under the river with his callout.

♡ "Well. Any decent person should carry a proper weapon of high quality. You see, higher quality daggers made by dwarves have a much better chance at actually piercing through veins and arteries with one cut and swing rather than the duller man-made blades that you sort of have to saw into an enemy's skin to pierce it deep enough to cause any proper damage...and of course that means the enemies will find their tough skin to be no match to the stronger, well smithed metal of dwarven craftmanship." Dori ranted in defense. Rambling a little, but you didn't mind.

♡ "Fascinating." You listened with awe.

♡ "You didn't catch half of that, did you?" Balin raised an eyebrow, watching you with a knowing-look.

♡ "Well, I understood half of it." You grinned honestly.

♡ "Ah, well allow me to explain slower." Dori cleared his throat and began with an added distant groan from Nori who'd heard all this several times growing up with his big brother.

♡ It was worth listening to Dori's explanations, facts and stories though. He was well-spoken, explained anything you missed and clarified anything you didn't understand. Like a big brother you had always wanted to be there for you.

~~~

Nori: (Romantic): (Orange and Dark Blue) ((This is gonna be very long, sorry lol))

♡ "If you let me sail, we'd be there by now." You huffed as Bard sailed the boat to the shores where the wine barrels wash up (after the Wood Elves let them out of the cellar of the Woodland Realm).

♡ Bard and you grew up together. You first met each other when your parents had decided to fish in the same spot out of Laketown and he pointed at you confidently saying, "You're weird."

♡ Other than the fish you were wearing on your head for a hat, you had no clue what would cause him to say such a thing to you.

♡ 'It must be because my eyes are two different colours!' You finally decided. After all, most other kids didn't like you for that reason. Apparently orange eyes were strange - especially when your other eye is a strikingly dark blue in comparison.

♡ "You're weird too!" You finally declared back.

♡ "At least I'm not wearing a fish for a hat." He rolled his eyes.

♡ "How dare you insult Saltwater the Third!"

♡ "What? Did you eat the other two?"

♡ "Daddd!!!!!" And that's how you two met as children.

♡ Don't worry, you still had a fish hat and you wore it all the time. The current one you had is Saltwater the Forty-Seventh if you were curious.

♡ Back to the present moment you two were in, he simply responded logically, "If you sailed us, the boat would be on the shore and the wine barrels would be in the water."

♡ "I don't see a problem with that. We could surf the barrels back to town."

♡ "Alright, (Y/N). You win. If you can surf a wine barrel all the way back to town, I'll let you drive the boat next time." Bard bet with a grin.

♡ "Deal. I'll be seeing you in town, later." You smugly smiled back.

♡ "Yeah. Tomorrow." Bard laughed. You couldn't help but laugh with him as the boat came to a stop along the shore. "Alright, let's go find those barrels." He sighed, hoping down and tying the boat to a makeshift post.

♡ You scouted ahead as he tied the ship up and saw the barrels further down the shoreline than usual. This isn't too odd considering the river's currents can be unpredictable. But it was the start to a very different day.

♡ The barrels were further up the shore - at a very rocky point - which meant you now had to climb up the rocky hill to go around a bunch of trees hanging at the edge of a cliff above the water to get to the opposite shore.

♡ You were halfway up when you thought about calling to Bard to let him know about the barrels when you heard water sloshing, footsteps and hushed voices nearby.

♡ There was no way it was Bard so you crouched down and watched a young dwarf with brown hair walk to the edge of the cliff not too far from you and sit down.

♡ He was emptying his boots of a lot of water right beside one of the barrels that you had first spotted from a distance.

♡ Upon closer inspection down below beside said barrel was another dwarf, a bit bigger with very grey hair that matched the rocks and a light coloured tunic that looked like dirt. Or was just very dirty. Either way he was basically camouflaged until you looked more carefully.

♡ 'Okay, so two dwarves near the barrels that elves use. I'm sure that's just a strange coincidence and they're just travellers.' You thought to yourself. Bard was only just climbing up the hill to join you so you decided to sneak around and spotted more dwarves that were seated behind boulders.

♡ 'Never mind, that's a lot more than two.' You mentally groaned. You snuck back to Bard just as he made it to the top of the hill. You pointed at the dwarves and used charades to count out 'thirteen' to Bard. His mouth gaped open and with a roll of his eyes he grabbed his bow from his back.

♡ 'Seriously?' You mouthed gobsmacked his first instinct was to shoot and ask questions later.

♡ 'There's more of them than of us.' He mouthed back whilst drawing his arrow back and aiming at the younger dwarf.

♡ 'So what? You're just going to shoot them?' You glared. He met your gaze again.

♡ 'It's not going to kill them.' He argued.

♡ 'I don't think that's the point here.' You finished and he reluctantly relaxed his drawstring.

♡ 'Fine. Just let me intimidate them.' He finally mouthed to you as the young dwarf was emptying out his other shoe now. He sneaked past you, drew back his drawstring once more and stood up to be clearly seen. The young dwarf froze in place and slowly turned around to look up at Bard. You decided to just watch from a distance, only having the skill to fight with a dagger for self-defense.

♡ He must've had all the dwarves' attention by now, still aiming his arrow at the same poor young dwarf. Bard's attention then shifted to the other dwarf who quickly stood up and grabbed a large branch - prepared to defend everyone.

♡ Bard then took his shot, the arrow whizzing straight into the branch's wood. Another dwarf in the distance, this one looking younger, picked up a rock and went to hurl it to Bard - but Bard was quicker and he shot the stone out of the dwarf's hand with another arrow. "Do it again, and you're dead." Bard threatened with another arrow drawn back.

♡ "Excuse me, but - uhm, you're from Laketown?" A new voice spoke up. You watched as an older, white-haired dwarf stepped forwards with his arms up in surrender whilst he cautiously approached Bard. "If I'm not mistaken?" Bard shifted and pointed his arrow whilst letting him continue talking. "That...barge over there." The older dwarf points to our ship which could be seen, but they had only just noticed in the distance. "It wouldn't be available for hire, by any chance?"

♡ "There's a chance." Bard unnotched his arrow and put it back in his quiver, swinging the bow back around his arm before stepping down the rocks as carefully as he could. "But it's unlikely. We're only here for these barrels."

♡ "We..?" The older dwarf was cut off when Bard waved you over and you helped him to start moving the barrels up the cliff to the ship. "Oh.."

♡ "Do you need help with that, lass?" A different brunet dwarf asked, approaching you and Bard carefully.

♡ You and Bard shared a brief glance, calculating how much sooner you could have dinner with a little help and finally you nodded. "Yes, please. Thank-you."

♡ And that long introduction, chat, is how you first met Nori.

♡ You, like Bard, were very skeptical of the dwarves and only helped them with the promise of pay. Double pay meant you and Bard could easily half it and you wouldn't be totally sacrificing all your pay to your pet cat. Which in turn meant you could buy yourself food!

♡ (Yes, you have a cat and yes he is your first priority. He's the best mouse-catcher in Laketown. He's the sole reason mice have been less of a problem and don't get into the winter food storage sheds anymore.)

♡ Nori thought you were odd to say the least. You wore a fish on your head, had completely different coloured eyes and talked like you were either high, or drunk, 24/7.

♡ You almost didn't have anything more to do with the dwarves after that fateful day, but Nori saw you struggle and stole some food before he went to the mountains and lemme tell you. After nearly 9 hours since your last meal, that little gift of stolen food was like a marriage proposal.

♡ In the Battle against the orcs there was no way you were just going to sit in a building uselessly with a bunch of other women. You grabbed a sword, petted your cat and charged a bunch of orcs, slicing as quickly as you could to deflect and kill them.

♡ During the chaos of everything, you bumped into Nori. Although you had no clue how he and you and ended up fighting near each other, you stood strong and watched each other's backs as orc after orc charged you.

♡ The battle felt never ending and you could've sworn a tinge of pink had lit up the sky and clouds whilst you fought for your survival. The sun was setting and you were still fighting.

♡ Once the battle was one and the injured were healed and Thorin paid people what they were owed, Nori and you sat down together near a dying campfire. You had gotten along since the battle.

♡ He would crack so many jokes it was great! He also liked your jokes. Your favourite thing about his jokes was: they were never about your appearance, or eyes or the fish hat you wore. He would joke about anything!

♡ From teasing his own siblings to laughing at how silly the Elves looked - being all serious. But he showed nothing but adoration for your eyes.

♡ Months passed and Dale was rebuilt. You and Bard had moved into Dale with Bard's children. Nori visited often. You two went fishing, shopping, hiking and scouting together.

♡ Eventually, he started to court you. His antics were amusing. Watching how dwarves court was quite amusing to a human. Nori would steal you items to show his quick fingers, stealth and skills. He'd steal you things he knew you liked.

♡ He squared up against almost any possible rival and even attempted to square up against Bard to win your approval. But Bard denied him and sent him to shop some wood instead.

♡ He didn't need to go the extra mile though. You felt the same for the sneak-thief. He was kind and funny and considerate. What woman wouldn't fall for him? Once you could finally sit him down for a meal, you expressed your feelings for him.

♡ The next day he made a courting braid and asked to braid it into your hair. You gladly accepted and allowed him to gently brush, wash and dry your hair over the next few hours. After the braid was in, you asked if you could do the same.

♡ And so the two of you spent the next few hours together once again, but this time as you brushed, washed and helped re-tie Nori's hair. It was probably the most memorable day you had in a while and you have always cherished the memory ever since.

♡ One day, when you were feeling just a little self-conscious, you asked how Nori felt about you looking different. Being a human surrounded by dwarves more often now...having two different coloured eyes...adults talking about you behind your back despite children adoring your cool fish hat.

♡ It had all just started to get to you and you didn't know how to handle it.

♡ "Darling, you're perfect to me. I don't care if you have blue hair or pink skin. You being human doesn't change how I feel about you...and neither do your eyes." Nori spoke softly.

♡ "Your eyes are like a sunset that meets the ocean. I've fallen in love with those stunning colours of yours." Nori placed his hand against your cheek and rubbed circles with his thumb as you leaned into his touch. Tears were threatening to spill out of your eyes.

♡ "Never change. For anyone. Please...keep being yourself...even if it's just for me. I love you." Nori pulled you into a soft embrace and let you cry out your feelings for as long as you needed. He meant every word he spoke and wanted desperately to show you in some way.

♡ The next day you woke up to a full breakfast-in-bed meal of all your favourite foods and even a nice hot drink for the cold morning. Nori brought you dark blue flowers with orange centers and orange flowers with dark blue ribbows tying them together. He loved your eyes and he really meant it.

♡ He even brought you a hat stand so you wouldn't lose your fish hats. (You had a slight habit of losing them).

♡ He was sweet and thoughtful when he needed to be. <3

~~~

Oin: (Platonic): (Grey and Light Green)

♡ When most people fall into a fictional world, usually it's their favourite. Most of the time, they're minding their own business and not working a 14-hour hospital shift.

♡ Unfortunately, you didn't conform to the norms of society very often and just had to fall through a magic portal as you finally finished clocking off for the night day. Because it was 4am when you finished work.

♡ So you can imagine the company's surprise when a mysterious figure falls from a strange portal in the sky. And when they get closer the stranger is fully decked out in weird blue clothing (scrubs), with their somewhat short hair neatly out of their face and very worn-through shoes.

♡ As if the person did hours and hours of walking in the same shoes every day.

♡ Which you did do.

♡ You're very lucky Gandalf is a super kind person to bring you with them to camp for the night and to look after you, because when you hit the ground it didn't matter that the fall hadn't knocked you out from the impact.

♡ The minute you were laying down in soft grass with the warm sun shining down on you, you were out like a light. You could've slept through a hurricane, tornado siren and nuclear explosion.

♡ Nothing the company did to make sure you were alive and okay the next day, woke you. All they could do was leave you to Gandalf's care as he carefully rode onward whilst making sure you didn't fall off. And hope you didn't hit your head.

♡ When you did finally wake up, you were hungry as fuck.

♡ You ate any food Bombur made and had three serves of dinner. The company was respectful, but cautious of you. They didn't really trust you until you helped treat Ori and Bombur's cooking burns with cold, creek water and some of Oin's herbs.

♡ After they realized you were a doctor they had so many questions. You happily answered any of their medical questions about the body, brain, organs and anything else.

♡ One of the questions they had was regarding your two different eye colours. "How did that happen?" "Does it just happen, or does an accident cause it?" "Is that an injury?" "Does it hurt?" "Is it annoying?"

♡ You patiently answered each question. "I was born with this. One of my eyes slowly darkened until it stopped at this light green and my other grew lighter in colour each day until it was fully grey." "It can be caused by injury, or an accident. Specifically if the accident or injury involves the eye. If the eye is damaged it may lose some melanin - the colouring - and thus change to a lighter colour. But that is not the case for my eyes."

♡ "No, it doesn't hurt. It feels the same to me as your eyes feel for you. I can see perfectly clear and it causes no issues. It isn't annoying, I'm already used to it when I look into mirrors or my water's reflection."

♡ The younger dwarves were especially in awe of your eyes. Despite the whole group growing to like you and come to you for medical aide, Oin especially took a liking to you. He was fascinated by such a young person knowing so much about medicine.

♡ He took you under his wing in this world and taught you all about the different herbs, mushrooms, medieval medicines and other treatments or small surgeries they were capable of performing.

♡ You absorbed all the information quite quickly like a sponge which further impressed the older healer.

♡ When Oin was sleeping early at night, or just resting in general, you would take over as the go-to-medic for the dwarves when they got a small injury, felt sick, or need medicine - like for sleeping better.

♡ You would also make them cups of tea, maybe a nice soup if most of the company caught a cold from icy, freezing rivers that they swam through.

♡ Even though the group wasn't sure about you at first, they really came to appreciate you in their times of need. Especially after the battle for Erebor. If it wasn't for your expert medical knowledge and quick fighting and thinking; Fili, Kili and Thorin (respectively) would've died from their terrible wounds.

♡ They had fought recklessly - though that was mostly Thorin's fault for being foolish - but thanks to your knowledge on healing and stitching, the three recovered quickly and in just a couple weeks they were back up on their feet.

♡ You kept a close eye on them; making sure they weren't going to overwork themselves. After the battle and aftermath cleanup was all sorted, Thorin took over the Throne and ruled as King Under the Mountain. He officially made you Oin's assistant and you basically became a 'royal healer'.

♡ Despite the official title, you decided to help anyone who was in need. Especially young children. The children were always fascinated by your eyes. They thought the colours were incredible.

♡ It was so heartwarming when they'd come back just to give you a drawing they did of you. You decided to set up a picture wall to hang all the lovely drawings. Anytime you felt scared, or were sick, you'd look up at the wall and remember how sweet and brave those kids were.

♡ Oin made sure you never overworked, got proper sleep and meals and he also taught you dwarven sign language so you could treat deaf and hard of hearing patients like Oin, or Bifur.

~~~

Bombur: (Romantic): (Dark Brown with Yellow around one eyes' center)

♡ You were a great cook and fighter. When the spiders of Mirkwood became a massive problem, you were put onto a patrol team that did two rounds around the borders of the forest each day.

♡ After that, you worked hard to make lunch and dinner with the other chefs and cooks. Great feasts for celebrations and small feasts to sing songs around fires with.

♡ So one day when you were preparing a great feast for another fun celebration, a border patrol lead by the Prince of Mirkwood arrived with a large group of dwarves who had been found wandering aimlessly off the path.

♡ You didn't think much of it until they escaped and caused great havoc with their unorthodox exit out of Mirkwood: riding in empty wine barrels out of the backdoor from palace, exiting through the back gate.

♡ Orcs then attacked the dwarves and elves whilst the elves attempted to keep the dwarves from escaping further and the orcs from causing more damage. You watched all this from a distance, killing off the few orcs that attempted to get inside the building.

♡ You couldn't keep track of how much time passed after that, but soon an army of elves were called to arms by the King. Everyone gathered in their armour, grabbing their weapons and standing out the door waiting for further instructions.

♡ You had joined the army, ready to fight against the dwarves that had recently reconquered Erebor. It was for the simple matter of helping the Laketown people who had called for aide since the dragon attack burned down their town.

♡ There were carts of supplies you would all bring to the people who were currently taking refuge in Dale.

♡ The walk to Dale with all the supplies took quite a little while, but when you arrived and saw all the wounded, sick and how desperate everyone was for food - the trip was worth it. Once the King talked with the head of the group and figured out what had happened, he then handed out the supplies.

♡ All the elves got to work: helping the injured and sick with their knowledge of medicine, handing out food, blankets, water and more. You got to work cooking up a massive pot of soup with vegetables and some meat for everyone to have a serving of, as was requested of you.

♡ That was the main reason you were there helping. Your aide in battle was secondary, helping the people was your primary mission.

♡ When the battle began, you did your best to fight off the orc invasion in Dale. There was no reason for you to be fighting up front at the front gate of Erebor when there was a serious battle just at your own feet.

♡ Defending children and the elderly during all the chaos was the most difficult part of the battle. You had to make sure that, whilst they fought and laid finishing blows, they were not hit unaware by orcish archers.

♡ Once the battle was won and the war was over, it was time to help with the aftermath. Burying the dead, tending to the injured, cooking up pots of soup, or stew, for everyone and handing out bread, water and other necessary materials or foods for people to sustain themselves.

♡ The dwarves were allies at this point and did their best to right their wrongs. There was an especially friendly dwarf who came up beside you one evening with more vegetables and meat - exactly what you requested from the dwarves for the next meal - and he even helped you cook it all up.

♡ He knew some herbs that you had never seen before and you taught him some elvish cooking that made food taste more tender and juicy - it was wine, but don't tell the kids.

♡ Over time you got to know your new fellow chef, 'Bombur'. You two spent the next couple weeks cooking food for the hungry masses until everyone had food supplies and shelter to stay at in Dale. Repairs to houses took a while, but once most of the major houses were done for food storage and temporary shelter, you were relieved of duty.

♡ Despite that, whilst the King finished up his business with the dwarven king, Thorin, you continued to hang out with Bombur. Sitting around campfires, cooking smaller meals together, trading jokes, stories, adventures and tales. You grew quite fond of the dwarf.

♡ When it came time for you to return to the palace with the King Thranduil, you promised to write to Bombur and he promised the same.

♡ And you both kept your words.

♡ You sent letters back and forth for many months and occasionally visited the dwarf for special celebrations where he asked for your aide in cooking - an excuse to spend an evening with you.

♡ Many years later, after five full years of courting each other, you both got married and lived together in Erebor. The King Thranduil did not mind your choice in love and wished you luck on your journey.

♡ The King Thorin accepted you fully as another good chef in the kingdom and made sure a feast was prepared for your wedding so you and Bombur could relax and simply enjoy the day together.

♡ Another couple years passed. You were all sitting at a table enjoying a couple beers when Bofur spoke up, teasing Bombur. "Still can't believe you managed to find and romance such a beautiful lady, Bombur. I mean, her unique eye colours," He gestured to your central heterochromia, "...her stunning hair, glowing skin, incredible cooking, gosh Bombur, you're so lucky. I hope I find a pretty wife soon too.." He sighed, taking another swig of his fifth beer.

♡ The alcohol must've been hitting him, so you merely comforted the tired dwarf. "I'm sure there's someone out there waiting for you too, Bofur." You chuckled. "Right, Bombur?"

♡ Bombur was staring at you intensely when you turned to him.

♡ "Bombur?" You tried again, waving a hand in front of his face. "Erebor to Bombur, attention Bombur." You teased. He leaned in closer and you were expecting a kiss, but he hesitated and maintained strict eye-contact.

♡ "Your eyes are slightly different colours!!" He announced excitedly. There was a moment of surprise and silence until the whole table was roaring with laughter.

♡ "You only just now noticed?? We've been married two years!! Courted for five years!! Knew each other for many years before that, how did you not see this?" You gasped.

♡ "I never really took a good look at that...I assumed it was the same in both eyes...I thought it was candlelight most days." He admitted quietly. His whole face was red at this point, so you pinched his cheeks and gave him a quick kiss.

♡ "Darling, I love you! But for Mahal's sake, dear..."

♡ "I know...I'm sorry, love." He shyly offered you his food as an apology and sign of love.

♡ How he didn't notice for all those years remained a damn mystery in your mind. But that was okay, because he was a bit silly, but very sweet.

~~~

Gloin: (Platonic): (Orange and Black)

♡ When you were just a young dwarf, you got separated from your family and lost in a busy marketplace.

♡ Your parents went to look at jewelry whilst you looked at some well made toys and trinkets for children. By the time you were finished looking around...it was too late. You had completely forgotten where they said they were going to be.

♡ You started running around, ducking under people's bags and trays, darting between people and dodging their legs and arms.

♡ Whether it was by fate, luck or chance, when you started to give up your search; sitting down on a stone bench crying, Gloin walked past and noticed your small presence.

♡ He set his groceries down and sat beside you. "What's the matter, lad?" He asked softly, rubbing your back as you desperately tried to sob out coherent words.

♡ But Gloin had a child already and didn't have to spend too long decoding your gibberish to understand you lost your parents and were all alone in distress.

♡ "Aw, that's alright, laddie. Come along, I'll help you find your parents. Hold my hand so you don't get lost and let's go have a look, okay? I'm sure they're looking for you too." He gave you a soft smile and led you back into the centre of the bustling marketplace.

♡ He was correct - your parents had been worried sick looking for you. You apologized and hugged them. They were so relieved and grateful they invited Gloin, his wife and child all to dinner that evening and Gloin happily accepted.

♡ They shared their home address with him and let you two say goodbye before they headed home. You had such a big day, you needed a bath and snack before dinner.

♡ After that fateful day, Gloin and his family had remained good friends with your family and you would play with Gimli quite often. Hide and Seek, I Spy, Tag, you name it - y'all played it.

♡ Gloin would join in too with your own father! It was so much fun running around and squealing when they jumped out from the shadows with a "Boo!"

♡ Gloin was basically an Uncle figure to you. Constant visits, birthday celebrations and presents, babysitting you and Gimli when your parents went on a date night.

♡ And the same with your parents babysitting Gimli so Gloin could treat his love to a nice date night!

♡ When you became a teenager and started an apprenticeship in smithing, you slowly became self-conscious of your eye colours. This was an unusual feeling. Doubt? But also guilt perhaps?

♡ Like a spiraling feeling in your stomach...like your eye colours made you different. Made you stand out...and you felt guilty for it.

♡ You couldn't figure out what was wrong. What went wrong. Spending so many years feeling accepted by Gloin, your family, his family - especially Gimli. None of them even mentioned your heterochromia.

♡ They didn't point it out as if it was a major characteristic of yours, a defining feature, or trait. They always pointed out your creativity, your energetic and bubbly personality.

♡ But since starting the apprenticeship and working alongside other apprentices - they started pointing out how strange, or "different" or "weird" your eyes looked.

♡ These thoughts and confusing feelings kept you up at night. But you didn't dare mention it to anyone. This was a new and strange feeling that you still couldn't put into words.

♡ It felt a little silly that you felt guilty for something you were naturally born with. You couldn't explain how strange that feeling was.

♡ There must've been a noticeable change in your demeanor, however, as everyone started being extra doting and sweeter to you at home.

♡ This went on for months until one day you were sitting outside with Gloin and he asked how you had been feeling recently. "Since starting the apprenticeship." And that's when you broke down into tears.

♡ That small, slightly concerned, question was the final blow to your constant turmoil.

♡ "Aw, lad. I thought you looked a little down recently. Come here, it's okay...shhh...it's all going to be alright, laddie." Gloin hushed, rubbing circles on your back whilst hugging you.

♡ Once you had let out all your pent up emotions, you felt like you could explain how you felt to him. You told him how the other apprentices' comments had been making you feel.

♡ How you felt guilty, doubtful, unconfident, different...the list went on. Gloin didn't interrupt you the entire time you spoke. He simply listened and occasionally nodded. Until you had let all your thoughts out.

♡ You felt embarrassed for breaking down so fast, but Gloin spoke up. "I'm sorry you've been feeling like this for so long, lad." He sighed. "Maybe your eyes are different colours. And maybe you stand out a bit because of that...but that doesn't outshine the rest of you."

♡ "Y'know, everyone starts to feel like that when life gets strange, or difficult. And that's okay. What you've got to remember is the talents you possess. Your skill at crafting things, is who you truly are. The person you want to be - aspire to be! That's who you are. Your appearance will change with time. You might start to go blind...your hair will turn white, but what truly matters is what you do until then."

♡ "If you take their unthoughtful comments to heart, you might miss what's right in front of you by dwelling on how 'different' you feel. Focus on the present, laddie. Focus on this apprenticeship and show those apprentices what true skill and talent looks like! And when you show 'em up and prove their comments useless...well, I hope to be there...standing behind you - watching you shine."

♡ Gloin gave you a big bear hug and ruffled your hair a bit. "Alright, kid." He stood up with a grin. "All these feelings are exhausting and you must be hungry by now. After all, you're still growing." He chuckled and helped you to your feet.

♡ "Let's go get some dinner." The talk you had with him had really helped. You took his advice and ignored what other's said, unless it was advice or about your creations. You were passionate about your creations.

♡ You learned to make lots of different things. From swords and maces, to necklaces and rings. Eventually, you aced the apprenticeship and continued to work at the forge shop - selling your creations and accepting new challenges everyday.

♡ And if you ever had another bad day like that again...Gloin was right there for you - making sure you got back up to your feet and never gave up your passions and dreams.

♡ You were forever glad to Mahal for such an amazing friend.

~~~ The End ~~~

[nyrasbloodyclover]

when the lights go down (maven calore x reader)

cw: nightmares, hurt/comfort

a/n: this is my first ever fanfiction i think, originally posted on ao3

I got up, gasping for air, not being able to see clearly. The room spun in front of my eyes making me sick to the stomach. I desperatly needed to puke.

I was almost used to it by now. Waking up in sweat with fear that just behing my closed bedroom doors death is waiting. That's what years of terror did to a person. War was cruel and had no mercy towards anyone.

I brought shaky hands to my wet face- from sweat but now burning tears slid down my cheeks as i let out quiet sobs. It was so stupid but understandable at the same time. In front of my eyes—it was so real i couldn't breathe sometimes— i was losing everyone i loved all over again. Everyone i cared about on the verge of death. I saw him, barely breathing, silver blood sliding down his neck—dying—and i just stood there, not being able to do anything.

I had never even admitted that to him- my feelings or the nightmares because i knew his mother took all of it from him. He wouldn't understand so it was all pointless.

The memory, not real, and it will never be real, i swore to myself, made my chest hurt, i started sobbing even harder this time.

And it was desperation or need for comfort that made me get out of that haunted place i called my bedroom and walk out the door.

The marble floors were cold underneath my bare feet as i walked slowly still with tears in my eyes.

The palace was huge and anyone could get lost in it, even me, but there was one path i always knew- towards him. Maven's chambers stood out to the rest of the palace, at least to me. Anytime i was with him i felt as if no one could hurt me. Like i was safe from the rest of the world. In his head we probably weren't that close, but i could comfort myself by pretending.

I was still convinced this was one big mistake, but now that i found myself in front of big doors that led to his private rooms, i couldn't go back. Maybe he will toss me out, laugh at how weak i am, after all we lived through the same experience.

I didn't care. All i wanted is to at least see his face or hear his voice, no matter what he was saying to me. So i knocked once and secretly prayed that he wouldn't hear me. If he doesn't open i will have to suffer alone for the rest of the night, afraid to close my eyes. It was familiar to me that my sleep was cursed by nightmares. It would be easier than to appear weak in his eyes.

But no one heard my prayers as he opened the large woden doors. I tried to wipe my tears as much as i could.

His eyes were still half closed, soft white shirt crinkled from sleep and hair rustled. He didn't seem very happy that someone woke him up. He looked so unfamiliar to me in that moment because i was so used to his organized-put together self. If i hadn't been so miserable i would even laugh.

At the sight of me it was like someone had sobered him up.

"What are you doing here?"

"I couldn't sleep." My voice was weak. It was the longest explanation i could give him.

After studying m for a moment Maven crooked his head, "Are you okay?" He spoke gently, like i was some wounded animal that needed his saving. And in some way, i really was.The look on his face made me know that he was aware of my cursed dreams

That was it, i thought, my breaking point. Something really cracked in my chest as i practically threw myself at him.

He was caught off guard he froze for a moment. I didn't care if he's going to mock me for the rest of my excistance for this, i needed it, needed him.

Few seconds passed and he relaxed a bit wrapping his slender but strong arms around me. Then i started sobbing into his chest.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He whispered into my hair, "What happened?"

He closed the door behind me and guided me to the edge of his bed. I sat down and he kneeled beside me, looking up with his blue eyes, searching for the answer.

"I watched you die," my voice cracked mid-sentance making it sound even more painful. And when he realized what i said his eyes grew wide. I wasn't sure what was going through his head now, but i still continued, "I watched you die, and i wasn't able to do anything—"

Now was my time to feel caught off guard as he took me into his arms. I never saw Maven hug another human being, but he should do it more often because now, he held me so i don't break.

"I am alive," his hand brushed the back of my head, "I am alive because of you, don't ever doubt that." His words made me sob harder into his chest.

His scent consumed me as i closed my eyes against him.

Maven never broke the hug and we sat there, in the dark of his room, until i parted us and looked at his beautiful, beautiful face.  

"I hate nightmares," i said after minutes of silence. "Sometimes, i wish your mother took them from me too."

He frowned at that, still holding my hands, "She took my nightmares, yes, but with them she robbed me of my ability to love, to care."

His fingers traced invisible patterns on the back of my hand. He wasn't looking at me. "Sometimes, you make me forget that." And i felt as if my heart was beating again.

I didn't know what to do after that. Did i get the comfort i wanted? I wasn't sure, but his words did make me feel better, so i got up and started walking towards the door. I hope our relationship wouldn't change much after tonight. I knew i would feel stupid and even more miserable in the morning but i guess it was worth it.

Then suddenly i felt the burning hand around my wrist, "Why are you leaving?"

Did he want me to stay? "Well, i tho—"

"You thought wrong. Come here," he said as he pulled me closer to him, and under the red covers. 

I layed my head on the burner prince's chest that rose and fell with each of his breaths. The proof that he was alive. Alive and well and beside me.

After a while, when the lights completely went down, i wasn't sure if i was asleep yet but i heard him whisper, "I will take your nightmares if it means you'll sleep peacefully."

[ckret2]

I always figured that if Bill had any Henchmaniacs that looked like they were from Euclidia, like Kryptos, then they were just from neighboring 2D dimensions. You know, like how there are a billion alternate dimensions similar enough to Earth that Ford could find an alternate universe where Stanley agreed to hide the journal where Ford basically worked everything out somehow and had his dream life afterwards, that he wrote about in Journal 3. But anyway, I think it kind of loses impact if Bill has whole Henchmaniacs from his home dimension. I think it’s more likely they came from neighboring dimensions he might’ve gone to that were similar to his in the millennia after he destroyed his own. That that one speck and his own memories really are the only things he can hold on to from his home dimension now. And even if Kryptos and whoever else have similar memories and experiences, it’s not the same. They don’t know the same world he does.

To continue my last ask (I’m the one that suggested Kryptos and any other flat shape looking Henchmaniac didn’t actually come from The Euclidia but just a similar flat 2d dimension, making Bill the only one from his actual dimension)I know it might sound unlikely for Bill to visit other flat dimensions since he seems to equate whatever oppressiveness he faced in that society with the fact that it was 2-dimensional as well, like they’re part of the same thing (“flat minds in a flat world with flat dreams”) and also he might at first want to go somewhere that doesn’t remind him too much of home, after destroying it, but in all that time he had, I do think there was a chance he drifted back to similar dimensions.

(You didn't SAY you're referring to ideas for my fic, but I'm assuming you are because that's the only context in which I've brought up the issue of the shape Henchmaniacs' origins; if you're solely just sharing your own thoughts on canon then my apologies for going "but what about my fanfiction that you aren't talking about???" at it.)

"It would ruin the emotional impact of Bill being all alone if there's other survivors" is one of the biggest problems I'm grappling with in deciding how to deal with the shape Henchmaniacs post-TBOB, and "maybe they're from another flat dimension" is the first way I considered dealing with it.

(Hell, it's an idea I played with when first deciding what I was gonna headcanon for their backstory; before I deciding that no, in spite of the Oracle's comments, it was worth it to flex canon a bit to make them from Bill's dimension.)

The problem is, them not being from his dimension would ruin the emotional impact of the plot I have planned.

That's the issue here. Coming up with a canon compatible solution is easy, I could pull ten canon compatible solutions out of my ass in five minutes. Coming up with a canon compatible solution that works with my plans is harder.

For the plot I have planned Bill needs to give a shit about Kryptos, Hectorgon, and Amorphous Shape the way he doesn't give a shit about anyone else. He needs to give a shit about them as if they're the last remainder of his long-lost home.

He'd never give that kind of a shit about outsiders.

[lillian-gallows]

Take Me Back to Eden

Pairing: Johnny Silverhand/Reader (V)

Warnings: Reader is V, No use of V, No use of Y/N (Don't get used to that from me lol), Cunnilingus (F receiving oral sex), P in V sex, Fluff with a little bit of angst (because V/Reader is a dummy and so is Johnny), Vaginal fingering, use of pet names (Bright-eyes and baby), alcohol consumption.

Summary: V/Reader is in love with the reformed ghost in her head, but she's pretty sure it's just her, oh how wrong she is.

GIF by: Keanuphile

Notes: I finished the game, I'm not okay, so I'm writing fanfiction about it. Cross posted to AO3

Minors DNI

The tequila burned as it raced down your throat, so did the whiskey chaser that followed it. The music of The Afterlife was pounding in your ears and brain as the liquor took hold and made your muscles relax, jaw no longer clenching quite so tight.

You caught Claire’s eye and lifted the empty glass in a wordless request for another, which got a nod of acknowledgement in return, but she was already with a couple of customers so it would be a moment. That was fine. You were nothing if not patient.

So patient that you managed to get yourself stuck in a loop of waiting for the reformed ghost in your brain to realize you’re in love with him and had been since you helped him go on a date with Rogue, like a gonk, and knowing he probably never will, or if he does figure it out, to care enough to act on it.

You’d seen his memories. Know what loving Johnny Silverhand does to a person. Yet here you are, as if one almost death sentence wasn’t enough for you.

There was a split second, when you were carrying each other out of Arasaka HQ, when you thought he might have felt the same. You’d fallen to your knees, legs refusing to keep going, and he’d gripped you tight and said you needed to get up, that he couldn’t leave without you, that he needed you.

At the time you’d thought there was something else there, the way he’d said it sounded so…Soft. But now you’re pretty sure it was the adrenaline and your grey matter still reeling from Alt fucking with it to give you your body back that made you cling to your hopeless desperation for the man you knew you couldn’t have, not in the way you wanted him.

“You stare any harder at that shot glass and your Koroshi’s’ll shoot lasers.” Came Claire’s voice, yanking you from your thoughts.

You cleared your throat awkwardly and shifted back in your seat while the other woman refilled both glasses. “Thanks.” You said before throwing the first one back.

“Trouble in paradise?” The Bartender asked as she leaned on the counter, giving you her full attention. After helping Claire resolve her business with Sampson, you both got closer, close enough that you felt comfortable telling her about Johnny and the Relic. Johnny had teased you about the attraction you had felt toward the other woman, but it was nothing compared to what you felt toward him.

“Gotta be paradise for that to happen.” You answered before shaking your head. “Nah, just me being a gonk, like always.” You said it more to the glass in your hand than the woman in front of you.

“You know, torturing yourself won’t solve anything.” Claire said lowly, so only you could hear her. “He hasn’t been to see Rogue since you both got back. From what you’ve told me, that means something.”

Your face was warm as you met Claire’s gaze, whether you were just that easy to read or Claire was using her magic bartender powers you didn’t know, but it didn’t really matter. She was right.

“I’m not gonna be another notch in his belt.” You downed your remaining drink. “And I’m not going to follow him around like some thirsty little groupie.” It came out a little bitter, and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t picturing Alt when you said the words.

You’re being unfair, you know you are. Alt loved Johnny for real, that much was obvious, so summing her up as something as simple as a groupie is cruel to the deceased woman, but you can’t fight the sour burn in your belly that threatens to turn you green.

Claire let out a sigh and shook her head. “Yet, that’s what you’re doing.” That gets a glare and Claire’s eyes are hard as she stares back. “Don’t look at me like that. You know I’m right.” She steadies herself on the bar with both hands and she leans into your space. “You told me yourself that he hates when people beat around the bush. So fucking talk to him before you end up old, grey, and still pinning. Or worse, one of you dies again.”

That snaps you from your cloud of self-pity, but not in the way Claire was probably hoping for. “Whatever.” You grumbled somewhat childishly as you flicked the Eddies to pay your tab and got up.

You knew the other was watching you go but didn’t care to look back. She was right, and it pissed you off. Not the part where Claire called you out, you deserved that, needed to hear it even. The part that you hated was that you really were exactly what you didn’t want to be, a hopelessly in love groupie following Johnny around like a horny puppy, except without any of the payoff of you two actually fucking.

And the saddest part was that you would rather keep pinning than be fuck-buddies, you wouldn’t be able to keep feelings out of it and you don’t even want to begin to imagine being on the receiving end of some of the shit Johnny said to Alt, and he actually loved her…What hope would you have?

It was raining when you got outside, and you considered calling your car instead of taking Jackie’s bike, it had a rain cover and would be fine for a night, but you needed to think and you couldn’t do much of that if you were driving, so rather than either option you turned and started walking, would it take longer? Sure, but that was what you needed to think, or spiral, whichever came first.

The rain was quick to plaster your hair to your face and neck, trailing cold lines of water down your skin that caused goosebumps to bloom, thinking about how much you hated Johnny when you met, how much he hated you right back. You kept walking.

Then those trails of water along with new water falling on you soaked through your clothes and chilled you to the bone, thinking about when you realized you’d fallen for him, lying in bed the night after his date with Rogue with a pit in your gut but determined not to say anything about it, praying he couldn’t feel it through you. You kept walking.

After a bit your shoes began to squish with every step, socks drenched and pooling water in your shoes, thinking about what he’d said that night on the way out of Arasaka HQ, about needing you, he’d breathed the words like he didn’t want anyone else to hear them, like they were for you and you alone and it would be a crime for any other ears to hear them. You kept walking.

You started to shake as Megabuilding H10 came into view, harsh shivers that made your teeth chatter till you clenched your jaw to make it stop, but all that did was make the shakes move down to your shoulders, thinking about how your heart had grabbed onto his whispered plea like it was a declaration of love even though it was nothing of the sort. You kept walking.

A puddle formed under you on the elevator floor as the floor numbers flashed and ads blasted in your ears, but you weren’t paying them any attention, you couldn’t care less about Milfguard or whatever new flavor of Mr. Whitey’s was being screamed about, you were too busy buzzing with the warring hope and dread of the thought that he would be home when you walked through the front door. You stopped walking when you got to the door.

Your fingers hovered over the button that would open it, but you were frozen in place, a new puddle forming, water dripping from your free hand would echo if the atrium wasn’t so goddamn loud.

“You gonna keep staring at it? Or do I gotta move you?” Came the one voice you still weren’t sure if you wanted to hear.

Looking back, you met Johnny’s gaze, or rather your reflection in his aviators, God you looked like a soaked cat…

Rather than answer him you pressed the button and watched the door woosh open, walking in with him right behind you felt like being watched by a warden.

“Why the Hell are you wet? You look like you walked home.” He asked as the door closed behind him; you couldn’t look at him again.

“Cuz, I did.” There was no use lying, anything you could come up with was just as stupid as the truth.

You could practically hear him lift his brow. “The fuck you do that for? Vic still has both of us on probation, getting sick could be a fucking death sentence.” Annoyed disapproval drips from his voice the same water is still dripping from your hair.

“Needed to think.” You offered lamely as you made for the closet, intent on both getting dry clothes and not letting him see your face.

“About what?” He asks from by the bed, where you’d seen Nibbles lounging, but when you didn’t respond you heard him take a few steps closer. “About what?” He asked a little louder, either thinking you hadn’t heard him, or intent on not letting you ignore him.

“Lots of shit, Johnny. What? You want a fucking catalog of my daily thoughts? Didn’t get enough of that when you were in my head?” You snapped sharper than intended, but you just wanted to make him shut up.

You heard his footsteps once more, and before you could move or look at him, he was at your back. “Thought we’d moved past snapping at each other to avoid talking about shit.” His tone was hard but not cold, like he could tell something was up.

“It doesn’t matter…” Why did you sound so fucking small? You hated it.

“Bright-Eyes…Look at me.” His hand feels like fire when it lands on the icy skin of your shoulder, where he tried to turn you, but you resisted. “Please…Look at me.” Your heart stops, it’s like you can hear the words that haunt you all over again. “Get up. Please, I can’t leave without you. I need you…Get up.” Same tone, begging and just barely this side of desperation.

And like a sleeper agent that’s heard her trigger word, you turned, but you can’t lift your eyes to meet his, you know he’s taken off those damn glasses and you can’t bear to see his eyes looking at you, your heart will store it away just like those words, and you can’t handle yet another thing making you hope like a gonk for more than you’re allowed to have.

People like you don’t get to love and be happy, if they were, Jackie would still be alive, and Misty wouldn’t be alone.

As if sensing that you won’t meet his gaze, Johnny lifts his metal hand as his flesh one slides down to your upper arm, searing hot skin making yours tingle, even his metal hand feels warmer than you, a shiver of a different kind rolls down your spine and you want to yank yourself out of his hold, but his grip tightens just a little, like he knew what you were thinking, but then he probably did. You’d put money on it that he knows your every micro expression and what they all mean, which terrifies you if you’re honest.

“Go take a shower, you’re freezing.” He whispers, warm breath fanning over your face, smelling of whiskey and cigarettes, such a Johnny smell. He let you go to reach past you for the clean clothes you were going to grab and passes them into your hands.

As if a spell was broken, you moved around him to head across the room to the bathroom, but you could still feel his eyes on you. The urge to snip at him about watching you undress sat on the back of your tongue, but you swallowed it.

By the time you’re pulling your wet tank top over your head, you no longer feels the heat of his eyes on you, then you heard the radio turn on, some oldies rock station playing some ballad that you don’t recognize, but you hear him quietly sing along to it, for a nanosecond you think you hear more emotion in it than when he normally mumbled along with the radio, but shake the thought away.

The water feels pleasantly scalding when you step through the fog of steam and into the spray. Tilting your head into the warmth to wash away the chilled water still clinging to your hair, you hear his voice no longer melding with that of the radio, though you still hear the song playing over the sound of the showerhead.

Eyes closed to keep the water out of them, you feel his eyes on you once more, not as close as by the closet, but certainly not from across the room. Running a hand over your face to clear your vision you turned and were met with Johnny standing there looking like he’s debating something.

“Johnny?” You questioned, no real thought given to the fact that you’re naked, he’s seen you a dozen times since Mikoshi, granted all those where when you both were recovering and you needed help getting dressed, but it was all the same to you.

Hearing you say his name seemed to help him make whatever decision he was working on, and before you could react or say anything else, he was crowding into your space, both of you under the spray, drenching him in hot water. But neither cared about that, neither was thinking about that, not when his lips were pressed to yours so hard it’s like he needs it to breathe.

Your back pressed to the wall, his hands holding your face, rings rapidly growing warm from your skin and the water, metal hand doing the same, the coarse hair on his face rubbing against your skin, making the goosebumps that had long since settled return full force.

You kissed him back for all of a second before you realized what was happening and pushed him back, he put a few inches between your faces, but gave no more land than that. “Johnny, what the fuck are you doing?”  You panted, looking up at him with a tentative look of hope that mixed with fear and it damn near breaks his heart to see it.

“Not making the same mistakes twice.” He answered, thumb brushing over your lower lip, clearly thinking about kissing you again.

Your heart seized in her chest again. “Stop it.” It comes out cold and it’s clear he wasn’t expecting it.

“What?” He’s dumbfounded, had be misread things? No way, he knows what he saw when he was in your head, what he felt.

“Don’t fuck with me, Johnny.” The hope in your eyes turned hard, a wall going up that he’s all too familiar with. “I’m not her.” Your voice is small again.

His shock melted away as understanding took its place. “I know. Never wanted you to be her.”

“Then what the Hell are you doing?” Your fingers had curled into the wet fabric of his shirt, so he can neither move closer nor pull away.

“I already said.” He answered before taking a slow breath. “I was shit when I had her and lost her because I was a fucking moron, and I did a lot of shit in her name after that that didn’t fix anything. I never deserved her, and I sure as shit don’t deserve you, but fuck if I’m not going to shoot my shot and try.” He said with the same conviction he had when he went on one of his anti-corp rants, only this was a lot softer, a lot less angry.

As he spoke, he watched the hardness in your eyes soften and that hope return, but it’s slow, you’re digging your claws in, trying not to get your hopes up, still waiting for the Gotcha “I won’t be another quick fuck…I can’t…I can’t be no strings…” It feels searing admitting to that.

He leans in once more, till his forehead meets yours, eyes unable to look anywhere but at each other. “Neither can I.” You can barely hear him over the shower, but you do, and your heart races.

Using the leverage of your hold on his shirt, you pulled him back in, mashing your lips to his in a messy desperate kiss that steals both your breaths, falling into him with slow tentative twists of your lips.

His hands trail down from your face, over your neck where your hair is plastered to your skin, down your body, avoiding every sensitive place that you crave his touch, to settle on your hips, pulling you closer and grinding against you.

He feels you shiver against him at the stimulation, little though it is, but he savors it all the same, right along with the way your beath hitches in your chest, he wants to hear it again, wants to hear more, wants to make you cry out his name and tell the whole megabuilding who you belong to.

He’s loathed to do it, but he breaks the kiss and slips his hands down to grip the backs of your thighs to lift you up, instinct taking over to wrap your legs around his waist as your arms wrapped around his shoulders, hands slipping into his hair to twist in the strands, softer than one might expect.

A lazy hand shot out to turn off the shower before he left the bathroom, leaving a trail of water on the floor to the bed. Rather than toss you on the bed like you expected him to, he sits on the edge and settles you on his lap, and with you secured there his hands moved up into your hair to pull you into another deep kiss that’s all tongues and teeth.

You wonder if he can feel your heart racing where your chests are pressed together, your hands are shaking as they come to rest on the space where his neck meets his shoulders, fingers still twisted in the wet strands of his hair, unable to pull the away, scared you’ll float away if you stop touching him.

This is a dream; it has to be. But does that really matter? If it is then you never want to wake up, and if it’s not then you won’t have to.

The heat at the apex of your thighs had begun to ache, craving something, anything more from him. You don’t even seem to notice when your hips start to grind against him, and it pulls a hungry grin from him that breaks your kiss, and you make this pitiful little cutoff humming sound when he meets you halfway with his own hips, eyes rolling closed and face tilted forward, forehead to forehead.

He can’t take his eyes off you, never could. That used to piss him off, reminded him too much of Alt and how she made him feel, but this was different, both women pulled his passion to the forefront, but only you had ever made him feel like he was capable of being decent, like he deserved to be.

Now, as your breaths mingle, hips driving against each other like they’ll die if they stop, he can’t help but take in every minute detail, from the color of your lashes to the way the space between your brows crinkles as they draw together in desperate need to the panting breaths falling from your kiss swollen lips that he craves.

But there’s something else he craves even more.

Taking hold of you once more he flips you both, laying you on the bed beneath him, you don’t resist, all too happy to do whatever it takes to have more of him on you, around you, in you.

Your hair splays under your head like a halo and Johnny thinks that if you’re what God looks like, then maybe he was wrong not believe.

He hovers over you for a moment, taking in your face, your body, the way your chest heaves with every desperate breath. Then, when his forever limited patience runs out, he trails his hands down your sides, over your hips, and stopping on your thighs, strong and soft as they part so willingly for him.

Leaning in his lips follow a similar road as that of his hands, making detours at your tits to take a nipple in his mouth to suck and nip, making the flesh turn blush dark and your back arch up into him, a shuddery sigh passing from your lips. He could live the rest of his life lavishing your breasts like this, but the heat from between your thighs is beckoning him.

So, he continues on his path, pressing his lips to every new patch of skin he reaches till he gets to your hips, where he bites down till a pretty red, soon to be purple, mark blooms. Your hands thread into his hair as he marks you, but other than twisting into the strands you don’t do anything, needing the anchor more than anything else.

Settling between your thighs he’s met with the beautiful sight that is your glisteningly wet pussy, wanton and waiting for him to give whatever he will.

Ever the tease, Johnny leaves a couple more darkening marks on your inner thighs, watching your body tense in pleasure, before finally, finally, running his tongue over your aching heat, from bottom to top, where your clit is swollen and begging to be touched.

Your whole body jumped when he flicked his tongue over it, thighs trying to close on his head out of reflex, but his hands, strong yet gentle, hold them open as he latches on and sucks for only a second, yanking a gasp from between your lips.

“Fuck…” You breathed, sounding more like another reflex than an actual thought.

“We’ll get to that, Bright-eyes…Just let me take care of you…” He purrs against your flesh.

Trailing his flesh hand down your leg then back up again he runs his fingertips slowly around the opening of your beautiful pussy, it’s an almost reverent action, coating his skin before pushing one in, a slow and shallow in and out.

He was never really this gentle with Alt, she’d never wanted him to be, and Johnny’s pretty sure that if he asked you, you’d tell him the same to protect your ego, but the way your body was melting under him told a different story.

It told of a woman so used to being treated roughly, used to sandy winds whipping her face and sun scorched skin, fists and bullets, hard fucking and yanked hair, that all it took was a few gentle touches and sweet words and she was melting like so much ice in his hands.

It both warmed his heart and made it ache.

Soon enough he’d eased that one clever finger in enough to curl it up and brush against that spongy spot he was dying to see your reaction to.

It was everything he hoped it would be and more. Your cunt tightened around him sharply, your thighs did the same, but his shoulders didn’t let them get far, you let out moans and gasps that were nothing short of pure music. All those things he’d expected, but he hadn’t expected your hand to slip from his hair and fall down to where his metal hand was still holding your thigh to grip his fingers, a silent plea to let you hold it if ever he saw one.

So, he did.

Johnny wasn’t the type to hold hands, something so elementary just wasn’t his thing, but a lot of things weren’t his ‘thing’ till you, his Bright-eyes. So, he’d hold your hand, he’d never let it go if that’s what you wanted of him, he’d live and die by those digits wrapped around his.

And he slipped a second finger into you, giving you only a second to get used to the sensation before he was back to massaging your G-Spot with his fingertips, but that wasn’t all he did, he reattached his lips to your clit and ran over it with his tongue in circles, giving it the occasional suck to pull a jolt from your body.

You were like a livewire of coiled muscles and aching for release. Your eyes had long since fallen closed, unable to keep them open, gripping his hand like it was the only thing keeping you on this plain of existence, pussy gripping his fingers like a vice.

“Johnny…” You pleaded, high and just this side of a whine. “Please…” Your thighs were starting to shake as you begged, so very close.

But Johnny is a bastard, even when he’s being nice, so he has to tease you just a little more. “Please, what? What do you want, Bright-eyes?” He asked lowly, smirking against you. “Gotta use your words.” He felt you clench at those words, but he was already teasing you, so he’d address that later.

“…Please…So close…” You managed, sounding close to crying.

His smirk grew just a little more. “Then open those eyes and look at me. Let me watch you cum on my fingers.” He ordered, keeping you teetering on that edge till you obeyed.

Your gaze was foggy with pleasure and wet with unshed tears, it was the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen in his entire fucking life.

His eyes never left yours as he returned to your clit and worked it and his fingers till those tears slipped free, leaving wet lines down your face, but your eyes didn’t close, though it looked like you were fighting it with your whole being.

He watched as you teetered on the edge for all of a few seconds before plummeting off it in a show of dilated pupils, choked off moans, clenching muscles, hand white knuckle with how tight it held his hand, and trembling thighs, well, more like trembling everything.

But the thing that drew him in, the thing that made his chest feel tight and his cock jump in his jeans, is that your eyes never once, not for even a second, left his. Those endless portals of life stayed locked on the bottomless expanse of brown of his own eyes.

After a long several moments he had to break eye contact because he felt like he’d cum in his pants like a teenager if he didn’t.

Pressing a kiss to your thigh, still shaking, leaving a wet mark where your slick clung to his facial hair, then left a trail of such marks as he kissed his way back up your body, till he got back to your lips, where you met him halfway, moaning at the taste of yourself on his tongue.

Neither let go of the others hand, but your free hand cradled his cheek like he was made of porcelain, your palm calloused from years in the desert and Solo work but still so soft.

You stayed like that, lip locked and sharing the same air, for a bit while you came down from your high, and when you were dragging him back down to grind against him once more, he pulled away just long enough to devest himself till he matched your nudity, then he was back again.

He didn’t need to ask if you needed a condom, he knew you had an implant, so he wasted no time lining up and slowly pushing in, taking it inch by inch because even Johnny knew he was too big to go in all at once like an asshole, and there were some lines he’d never cross, hurting his bedfellows was one of them, less they asked real nice of course, but there was time for that later, right now his Bright-eyes needed soft, and damn if you weren’t going to get it.

Your face twisted in pleasure as he entered, and a broken gasp fell from your lips. “I know, baby, I know…” He breathed before pressing his lips to your neck. “So good, fuck…” You were tighter than he expected, but he wasn’t shocked, you hadn’t had any partners when he was in your head, and you didn’t seem particularly interested in finding any after you were in your own bodies.

Your hand returned to gripping his metal one as soon as he was back on you, the other found its home on his shoulder where your nails dug in, the pinch of pain sent a thrill down his spine that made it harder not to thrust into you.

“Johnny.” You said in a breath, getting his attention.

“Hm?” He hummed against your pulse point.

“If you don’t move in the next three seconds, I’m going to do it for you.” You threatened, though with how hard you were breathing it was a loose threat at best.

He smiled, not smirked, not grinned, honest to God smiled as he looked down at you. Rather than make some smart comment, he did as you asked, pulling out to the tip then pushing back in, so slow it was torture for both of you, especially when your still sensitive walls fluttered around him.

It was slow, or at least slower than you expected, his build up in speed. A small part of you expected him to be rough with you, you expected him to fuck you, not this. There was no way to describe this but as making love.

Just as quickly as before that coil in your belly started to tighten, and Johnny seemed to see it immediately. “Look at you…” He breathed as he watched you fight to keep your eyes open. “Taking me so well, baby…So fucking well…” His voice turned into a growl at the end, and you couldn’t help the way it made your insides clench.

Every roll of his hips had his tip brushing hard against your G-Spot, while the hair at his base kept a steady pressure against your clit, and that didn’t even cover what his lips and words were doing to you. Your whole body felt so hot you thought you might combust, but you didn’t dare let him stop.

Your legs wrapped around his hips to pull him in further, which served to leverage your hips up just right to have him pressing deeper, which you had thought impossible a second before.

You felt yourself once more on the edge of orgasm and he knew it, be it from the way you sounded or the way very part of you was clinging to him even tighter, he knew. “Shit…You’re so perfect…Gonna cum on my cock? Hm?” He hummed as much to himself as to you, probably to distract himself so he didn’t cum before you.

You couldn’t have answered him if you wanted to, it was all too much, too perfect, before you even realized it the coil snapped and you came hard, so hard your vision went white and you think you might have passed out for a few seconds because the next thing you heard was his voice rasping out your name mixed with several swears while his hips stuttered and you felt heat flood your insides.

He didn’t collapse on you the way other guys you’ve slept with had, he did lower himself enough to rest chest to chest, but his knees and free hand kept him propped up enough as not to crush you.

His face was pressed into your neck while you both caught your breath, and after a moment he pulled back to press his forehead to yours, eyes closed but it made him feel even closer, so you certainly weren’t complaining.

When both your breathing evened out, he opened his eyes and looked at you, finding you already searching his face. Trepidation was there at the bare edges of your gaze but seemed to be held back by the fact that he hadn’t pulled away or said anything shitty to you yet.

“You okay?” He said softly, quietly so as not to disturb the calm that had fallen on the room.

He watched your throat work around a swallow, and you nodded ever so slightly. “Yeah…” You breathed, voice sounding thick.

He gave your hand, still wrapped so tightly around his metal one, a gentle squeeze. “I love you, Bright-eyes…” He said, knowing you needed to hear it as much as he needed to say it.

Your eyes widened slightly and grew wet but before tears could fall you pulled him down into a kiss, this one was filled with a different kind of passion, it was softer, sweeter. “I love you, Johnny.”

He helped you clean up after that before going to bed, the radio still playing the same oldies station quietly.

“I have traveled beyond the path of reason…Take me back to Eden…Take me back to Eden…”

[ambrossart]

Welp, this experiment was a total failure

I'm extremely disappointed with myself right now. I didn't accomplish anything I was hoping to. Nothing at all.

To be perfectly honest, I almost didn't post anything tonight. But I will because I said I would, and because I want you all to see how much of a hack I am. I want you to see why it takes me months to finish a single damn chapter.

I spent over a week working on this. I even took the day off from work today, and I spent half the day staring at my screen, utterly paralyzed. And the saddest part is, most of this is recycled from something I wrote months ago. Months. I couldn’t come up with a better opening, so I just pulled this out of my scrap bin. I was hoping to add to it. To build upon it. But all I ended up doing was rewriting it a bunch of times.

I’m a hack. I’m a horrible writer.

And I know you’re probably thinking I’m being overdramatic, that this is just fanfiction, who cares, but it isn’t just fanfiction to me. This is what I want to do with my life. Ever since I was a kid, all I wanted to do was be a published author.

I’m starting to think that’s never gonna happen. Maybe my college professors were right, after all.

So here it is: the product of all my efforts. It’s not long. It’s not good. It’s not interesting. And it’s probably gonna get deleted again at some point.

Sorry you all waited for nothing.

_____________________________

Evelyn stared down at her folded hands, willing them to move.

You have to do it, Evie…

Even if you don’t want to, you have to do it. 

A tear landed on the back of her hand and gleamed there. She closed her eyes, counted to three, took a deep breath, and opened the door…

but the girl who came out the other side wasn't Evelyn at all. She was just this pale, lifeless husk—a cheaply made, mass-produced doll that someone had painted to resemble her. It wasn’t right. None of it was right. Where was her smile, the one that lit up her whole face and made you feel like the only person in the world? Where was the little twinkle in her eyes? That friendly glimmer? It was always there, always, even when she was really mad, even when she swore that this was the last time, Henry; I’ve had enough of your bullshit! Where was it now? Where? Where?!

What happened to the tiny flecks of gold in her eyes, the ones you could only see when the sun was angled just right? Her eyes were precious, perfect, but now they were gone, just… gone!

What happened to all her color? All her light? Her life? Her spirit? Someone had snuffed it out—killed it. Now she was nothing more than a corpse.

That's not Evelyn, Henry thought, angry and disgusted. This was a joke, a cheap trick, but he wouldn’t be so easily fooled. That wasn’t Evelyn. Wasn’t. Couldn’t have been. The real Evelyn was fine, safe, and drawing smiley faces on Mrs. Lafferty’s quizzes.

She was waiting for Henry to come back. He had walked out, said fuck you and stormed off, but she knew he would come back eventually.

… didn’t she?

Henry always came back. He pinky promised.

I have to go, Henry thought anxiously, his left hand reaching and finding his right, fingertips circling his right pinky. Evelyn’s warmth was still there—little more than a memory now, but still there.

Meanwhile, the false Evelyn was standing beside the minivan, her hair collapsed and disheveled (wrong), makeup running muddily down her cheeks (wrong!), staring out with glassy, hollow eyes (doll’s eyes, false eyes, not Evelyn’s). She nudged the car door with her hand and it swung back on its hinges, closing with an unaccepting click. (Not right. Not right. Try again.) She ripped open the door, heaved it closed with all her strength, and then staggered backward, panting, her backpack slipping off her shoulder, sliding down her arm, off her hand, and slumping to the ground. Her shoulders trembled as she sobbed, an ugly, horrible sound.

I have to go, Henry thought harder, trying to drown out the sound of her cries. Evelyn's waiting for me at… at the park. She went to get me some bandaids and she's gonna be really mad if I'm not there when she gets back. I made a promise. I pinky promised. I…

(the closed door squeaking open)

(Evelyn's eyes rolling up, reaching for him)

I left her.

[katsukiizmoon]

Fanfiction Writing / Reading

Hi everyone, I wanted to make a little post on general fanfiction writing and reading etiquette etc for everyone. For reference I've been writing fanfiction since I was 12, I'm now nearing 23 and I've been on tumblr since 2013. There's links to resources for those that would like them.

-> GENERAL ADVICE

Color Coding Dialogue On Tumblr: While using color can create visual contrast in things like titles or description, using it to color code dialogue can cause problems for those who are neurodivergent or vision impaired. For instance, I have trouble reading things where the dialogue for one character is bright in color. This means I miss out and can't read and support many new writers.

Showing support for your writers: I don't think demanding reblogs is an appropriate response. However, as someone who has been here for a long time, it's important. You can show your support by commenting, liking, reblogging (and reblogging with tags gives brownie points). Generally : liking will be lost in a sea of likes over time making it harder for you to find that fic again but shows you thought it was good, reblogging shows you enjoyed the fic enough to share it with those on your blog (you can even have a side blog dedicated to fics) and would like to find it again, reblogging with tags or comments says that you enjoyed it enough to share it, push it higher in the tags and that you had thoughts. This helps motivate writers ! Feel free to send them an anonymous ask if you're shy, expressing that you really enjoyed their work.

Use of italics and bold in works: Italics and bold should be used to indicate stressing or importance of certain words. EX: "no you did it!" vs "no you did it" ! You don't need to italic entire dialogue unless it's in certain situations (flashbacks, memories, whispers, etc)

Plotting & Timing: Plot and timing can be a really useful tool! Understanding what your characters are doing and having the plot move smoothly is important when writing. It prevents gaps and promotes interest. Even some of my works move a little too fast, and it can sometimes cause confusion.

READ, READ, READ: Reading is probably the fastest way to increase and broaden your horizons as an author. It allows you to gain a larger vocabularic range and new metaphors. And it helps you find what could be plot holes and more.

SMUT ; Cum Timing: I've written this before, it can happen but it's unlikely. I'll make a whole post dedicated to.. smut. But for now. Here's some other scenarios and miscellaneous notes: -> bottom cums really early on, then the top cums later -> top cums extremely early on, proceeds with oral on bottom -> top can't get it up (this happens a bit with drugs involved) for a while and gives pleasure to bottom, then stops and gives up on an orgasm

Those are a few of my main, overall tips but I'm going to link you to a bunch of resources, too. I understand more than anyone what it's like being new to this. But one of the biggest pieces advice I'm going to give you is:

Allow your writing to be objectively "bad" at first. It always comes with practice. My first fanfictions I used "~" like it was a goddamn period. It's okay.

-> RESOURCES

"writing resources : words are hard"

"describing feelings, emotions, and tone"

"au prompt list"

"how to write medieval smut"

"starting a new paragraph"

"writing resources: world building"

"writing fight scenes"

"ways to further develop main characters"

There are tons of writing blogs on tumblr. You can send them an ask anonymously if you have any questions and they may respond with some good resources. Being a little more on the accurate side, even if you accidentally fuck up a bit, gives you brownie points a LOT.

Have a nice day OwO !

[femslashfeb]

HELLO ALL

TLDR

No reblogging from the blog this year - posting prompts tomorrow the 31st

For the past few years I've very much struggled with reblogging everyone's activity in the tag. So this year I will not be doing so.

(OR maybe I will? I just don't want to commit)

Even if I knew how to make a bot that reblogs - a lot of people still use the unique tag to tag outside challenges. So I've always had to hand submit. However it became too stressful for me and for the past few years I ended up avoiding it until later weeks or even months.

If you noticed I didn't finish reblogging last year so- I've just given up on that.

Honestly I've struggled a lot with depression for the last 7 years or so. It's been harder and harder to find my way back to tumblr. It doesn't help that my phone can barely handle the amount of apps it already has.

My main account @puff-pink hardly ever updates because of my big sad. And I don't know if I'll ever get back on the horse in the same way I did before.

Some of you know me as an artist, and tho I still churn out subpar art for my day-job I've struggled a lot to make art for myself during my depression. Partially because one year I overworked my hand - and still deal in continual wrist aches. Even the weeks I don't pick up a drawing tool.

I intended this challenge for myself and maybe the small fandoms I was in at the time. But it took off among writers and creators of all types across all fandoms.

One year I even tried to tally the most popular fandoms but there were honestly too many to keep track of- and I stopped after the first three pages of submissions.

I don't claim to have invented the concept of FemSlash February. Before I started the prompts I swear I had heard the phrase somewhere. Tho not sure where. Perhaps it had been amongst my friends on Skype. Back when I had online friends and Skype(I'm still not sold on Discord🤷‍♀️).

However that January I thought it would be fun to partake in a challenge of some kind. But scouring tumblr and the general internet. I could only find half hearted efforts on fanfiction sites from years past.

I'm so proud of all my Sapphic creators on here that have partaken every year. Even if I've never shown favoritism or awarded anyone. I do notice those that actually complete the challenge AND those that keep coming back each year(looking at you H20 writer(I don't remember your username but there's a mermaid writer that's a writing machine)). I truly am proud of you especially in my shriveled state of creativity. Thank you for your efforts. For your hype. And for your love of women of all kinds across all the universes.

Each year I'm surprised to find even more categories I never thought to include. From mood boards, to doll photography, to ofc the classic art and writing. May your pencils forever be in union with your sister mediums.

On that note. There is a strict NO AI GENERATED ART or writing this year.

Not that I could physically stop anyone who does use AI. But I do not want that sort of thing associated with this challenge. It's become scarily good in 2023 to the point it can't always be identified. So I simply ask for the honor system when it comes to AI generated creations.

That being said. If you've made it to the end of this post:

Prompts will be posted tomorrow.

I usually prefer to give yall more of a buffer, but I've been busy. Both with Big Sad, rescuing some feral cats, my own life, errands, chores and work.

If you're still here- here is a preview of the first three days.

FEB 1 - black

FEB 2 - spring

FEB 3 - cake

The 14th as usual will be some sort of Valentine romance type theme(haven't decided specifically yet) and as always there will be a Rest Day.

Expect some repeat prompts. In the past I tried to avoid them but idc anymore.

It's also a Leap Year this year so expect one extra prompt to throw off the symmetry of what's normally 28 days.

Thanks for coming back this year. And thank you to those that still check on this blog.

❤️🧡🤍💜🩷

Keep loving girls

-PuffPink

[xr0tt3nxfl3shx]

👁💊My Medicine is underdeveloped and my Amygdala won't work.💉👁

Twomp[AU] fanfiction + art !! Pertains to the events in this post. [No beta we die.]

⚠️‼️TW: VOMITING / OVERDOSE / SUICIDAL IDEATION / UNREALITY / CORRUPT MENTAL HEALTH SYSTEM / GENERAL MENTAL ILLNESS THEMES‼️⚠️

A/N: i didnt wanna mention it tbh but just in case, ive been down the chemical consumption road 3 times, an i mention because i know the internet has opinions on mental illness in writing. But ive been there myself. All up close and personal like. so i think i can speak on it (dont castrate me)

POV: 👁Argos👁

I scratch at my skin in the dark of my room as if that'll hold in the tears from spilling over my burning red cheeks. The feeling of rage and overwhelming depression clash within me, and leave me to switch every few minutes between cursing the name of every therapist who ever told me that "I'm not even trying to get better" and crying over the idea that they might be right.

My heartbeat is so vigorous that it feels like at any moment the tendons will tear away and my heart will burst in my ribs. How could anyone say that to me? I seethe and hiss through my gritting teeth. Why can't I get better? I cry enough to fill an ocean and nearly drown in my tears.

I should be able to control all of this by now, I'm not a child. Yet, I can't stop thinking about putting the heads of those who hurt me on a platter. Or banging my head on my bedroom wall hard enough to dull the heartbreak. My eyes are running dry from all the tears, I've been at this for a while. My head is pounding from the adrenaline. All reasonable thoughts are drowned out, with intrusive and irrational ones taking the place of my internal voice of reason.

I can make it better, I can make this better. I just need to try a little harder! Just.. go a little further. These feelings, it's just a chemical imbalance right?

I'm running out of options, types of therapy, pills, at this point I might as well just get a lobotomy. I'm sure my therapist would like that.

There's still time to make this right. I don't have to end my life to end my suffering right?

I can prove them wrong. I will prove them wrong. It's just a chemical imbalance. I just need to fix it.

I rummage through the medicine cabinet above my bathroom sink, overlooking the blood crusting around the drain. There has to be something in here that can make my head stop pounding or my thoughts quiet down if not for just a little while. Maybe everything all at once? Yeah that should do!

Laid out in front of me on the cold tiled floor of my bathroom are various pill bottles. The amount of pills actually in them is varied, they like to switch my meds every other week it seems. I try to be hasty with this, pouring out a small handful of gel capsules into my hand. Each one smooth, glossy, and slightly cool to the touch.

You know, I've been here before, and typically there's some survival instinct in me, paralyzing my hands before I can do any damage. But all I can feel is anguish. And anger. And there's no more room for self preservation in me.

I take my first dose before I can come down from my emotion fueled adrenaline rush. Quickly now don't let the self preservation come back. I take my next dose of a new pill type, a tablet. It was a bad idea doing this dry but oh well!

Before I know it I'm slumped against my bathroom door, unable to continue my self medication on account of the mounds of pills I dry swallowed having begun triggering my gag reflex. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't anxious about this, but it had to be done. My therapist is always urging me to take steps in the right direction!

(Though admittedly he never mentioned which direction is the right one.)

I make it back to my bed, dragging my feet and leaning on the wall for support the whole way. It's not even five minutes in when I start to feel the effects. I probably should've eaten before taking my pills like the instructions say.

This is different though, I feel my connection to reality slip right through my jittery fingers. Like the shadows in my room are divulging their presence. Like they are reaching out their hands, ready to take hold of me, pull me in and make me one with unreality. An emptiness overcomes me, something I've truly never felt before. And it's the strangest thing, because simultaneously I've never felt more alive in my life.

Everything is really funny, I've never noticed how funny everything is up until now. Every little unorganized thought that pops up in my foggy, spacing-out head manages to get a strained laugh out of me.

Visual snow floods my peripheral, the colors of the world begin to become one with the static in my eyes.

Ah, I remembered what I was going to do in here. I need to call Mr. Plant. I need him to know that I'm going to get better, and how much I love him of course. Oh he'll never understand just how much I love him! I love him to death, haha! Literally.

I dial in the number. Moving has proven difficult, like trying to control a vehicle while tired and out of it, or in my case trying to control a vehicle through the most debilitating brain fog I've ever experienced. The disconnection from body and thought is almost calming.

The ringing of the phone is such a funny thing as well. I could lose myself in the methodical rhythm and loose vibrations running up my hands- oh look here he's answered!

"M‐r… plant! I ha-ve.. s o me thi.. ng to tell you."

I am fighting to get the words out. The weak sounds I manage to get out of my raspy throat come out in uneven tones with jarring stutters. Why is it so hard to speak?

"I took.. a lot o-f... my me-ds. Ha-ha!" He hangs up immediately.

Is he not happy for me? It wasn't long before I heard sirens closing in. Did he call the cops on me? That's no fair, no fair at all.

I've never been rolled into the back of an ambulance on a stretcher before but there's a first time for everything I suppose. It's too bad I'm too out of it to really experience it.

In the ambulance is when the first wave of nausea hits. I could barely even feel the EMT insert the IV or hear when they asked me questions.

———

The heart palpitations do their diligence distracting from the perforations left in my arm from the injections of various medications and the IV drip.

My respiration is just as irregular as my heart's chemical damaged rhythm. I feel like I'm drowning in this heavy air and it feels like the knots in my stomach have spread to my heart. This pain is so unbearable that I feel the need to crave it out of myself with a blade.

The world is doubling- no tripling, blurring, and mushing together all at once. I can feel the hum of the fluorescent hospital light buzz through my head. The scent of rubbing alcohol and sterilized equipment is evident throughout the cold medical facility.

By my own hands I've made my body a place unsuitable for living. I've "almost drugged myself to an early grave" as the hospital staff keep reminding me.

Speaking of body, I can no longer tell where I end and the wires of the EKG machine begin. Neuropathy has set in and nerve sensation has dulled for the most part, except in my stomach and heart where it hurts the most of course. But me and the machines they have me hooked up to might as well be one as long as they are taking the place of my dysfunctional body systems.

When they run the EKG scan, which they do about every half hour, they ask me to stay as still as I can, but it's hard to control the shaking when I don't know where it comes from in the first place. I'm by no means cold, or if I am I really can't feel it.

Have I mentioned the shaking? The tremors? I need to grow accustomed to the flavor of raw stomach acid soon, because that's all I've been throwing up anymore. It's all that's left.

The nausea begins to build all over again, like my stomach is writhing and contorting in my torso. I can feel the knots being tied. Over the next few minutes it builds and builds, I'd do anything to stop the encroaching bile now. The nausea completely overwhelms my senses right before another round of the most violent retching I've ever experienced. Accompanied by the most awful squelching and splattering sounds as it hits the rest of vomit already resting at the bottom of the bag.

I feel like I'm nearing being turned inside out everytime it happens. And I've filled yet another vomit bag. This isn't going to stop for days as the doctor told me. I doubt I'll get the luxury of unconsciousness.

The activated charcoal they gave me to drink is like this black sludge, "slow and steady now, don't drink so fast you throw it all up but not so slow that you succumb to the consequences of your own actions." Well maybe that's not what they really said but it's how it felt. I can tell the staff are judging me, I just know it! They think I deserve this.

At least the charcoal is cherry flavored.

My many eyes dart around the clean and pristine hospital room erratically, glancing off in every direction. I don't want anyone to look at me anymore. I can't stand the buzz of the lights and I can barely bring myself to move enough to blink. Or even move enough to breathe. I am much too dizzy and light-headed to even consider standing up. I'm so dizzy I could swear I'm phasing in and out of my body. The only thing keeping my consciousness bound to this body is the unending pain ancoring me in the reality of my situation.

It's growing increasingly unbearable.

Above all else I am losing my mind trying to figure out where I went wrong tonight. These chemicals were supposed to fix all these feelings. The pills were supposed to fix me. My psychiatrists and therapists all told me that I'm sick, disordered, and all I needed was to buy a few more medicines.

It must be my fault, it must be if hundreds of milligrams of mood stabilizers can't just make it better.

Tell me, anyone tell me, why I'm so useless that I can't even help myself?

Why am I so worthless that my medicine won't work on me?

I am almost entirely suspended in unreality. The prozac, olanzapine, mirtazapine, and everything other useless drug they gave me were meant to cure me. I've tried everything!

I've done the very most I can to try and make the bad thoughts quiet down. And are the thoughts that tell me "I'd be better dead", my own thoughts, or a symptom of one of my diagnoses?

Is the reason I'm like this the same reason I don't deserve love, or do I not deserve love because I'm like this? I want to get better. I swear I really do.

So why does no one believe me?

"Sir, you have a visitor." The nurse informs me in a harsh yet hush tone.

The words barely make it through my chemical head. I'm practically catatonic in this hospital bed. But when I do process them I pray to every divine that it is who I think it is.

Red petals on the top and bottom, two yellow petals, one pink and one blue. I was right!

I can't believe he came all the way down to this void to come see me. I really thought he'd stay home. I don't think anyone or anything could possibly understand the pure desperation I feel coursing through my veins. Right alongside the saline they're using to flush my IV of course.

My boyfriend entered my hospital room, #34 I believe, I saw when they rolled me in on the stretcher. Tears well up in my dried eyes, I couldn't feel enough of anything to cry while drugged out of my head but seeing him, well, I need him more than I have ever needed anyone before.

The look on his face when he saw me is one I didn't know he was capable of, pure horror even. I must look horrible stained with my own bile in these itchy hospital scrubs. He is quick to clasp my hand in his and rub along my knuckles and the back of my palm. Through the blurred vision and tears I can't even make him out anymore but I don't need to, I just need his touch. I need it so badly.

I have no depth perception at the moment, or hand eye coordination, and again everything is quite blurry so it was mostly unintentional when I pulled him in by the sweater. He leans into me and wraps his arms under my upper back, holding me against his chest.

He's warm against me, holding me gently in a hospital bed. I can't feel much at all other than the pain, his warmth was the only other sensation I could pin down in my head. It was such a harsh contrast from how I normally see him acting.

With him so close I can't tell where he ends and I begin this time. Even in one of my most painful moments, I feel a familiar comfort in my palpitating heart. He's the only thing keeping me from going entirely mad. He has no idea what I'd give to melt into him right here right now, become an amalgamated abomination of our half hazardly bonded flesh and bone. I'm afraid I'd ruin him and all his perfection with me and all my misshapen and grotesqueness.

I am especially disgusting as of now, making him worry about me like this. Can I not be horrible for just one second? Selfish, that's it. I must be selfish. I take another go at speaking a moment after we pull away. All I can muster is an apology that comes out more like a pathetic stammer through my tears.

The way his cold gaze met mine shook me. I've never seen real tears stream down his face. He looks so... distraught. Its like he's looking right through me and simultaneously looking directly at me. And on top of everything I've never seen him sign so frantically. He rarely signs at all.

"Please don't be sorry."

…

"Don't strain your voice."

"Just stay right there, okay? Do you need anything?"

"I'll get you anything, I'd do anything for you."

I knew he cared about me, but I guess I never realized just how much. Or maybe I just forgot. How horrible am I?

Is it possible I'm actually worth something to him? Worth enough for him to call me an ambulance, worth enough for him to comfort me in the hospital bed, worth enough for him to cry over me?

Was I really worth staying with all this time?

My thoughts are interrupted by another round of retching, it seems those knots in my stomach weren't just anxiety. Mr. Plant holds my hand through it. I'm gonna be here a while, I know that. But he's here with me, and from the looks of it he isn't leaving my side anytime soon.

I'll make it out alive, not for myself, just for him. And for the possibility that maybe he needs me just as much as I need him. I wish my mind wasn't so scrambled, so I could find the words to express just how much I love him.

I love you Mr. Plant.

[ghuleh-recs]

♡ Fandom Faves Tag ♡

Tag 1-3 (or as many as you want) of your favorite creators (writers, artists, outstanding members of the community etc) and link your favorite creation if you can.

Thank you for the tags @midnight-moth and @coffeeghoulie! I'm gonna challenge myself to not wax poetic and keep these extra short and sweet. That way it's not as intimidating for others to participate (hope that makes sense). Oh and I'm not putting a "keep reading."

Witness my faves (ง •̀_•́)ง

@midnight-moth (who started this tag game ♡) drew THE Phantom art of all time and I recently went absolutely feral for:

Buried in Treasure - Dew x Phantom - E, 3.6k

When his eyes roll forward again, he notices more than just the same riff playing over and over. He notices Phantom’s grip on his hand simultaneously go still and tight. He notices the rosy flush on his cheeks, and the tent in his pants that he tries to conceal with the hand holding the phone. It takes more than a few seconds for all of the dots to connect and when the thought is fully formed, Dew grabs the phone and launches it to the end of the bed.

@ramblingoak hey why is there an angel in the satanic band fandom? I created this whole blog so I could shout about:

The Cardinal's Bride - Cardinal Copia x F!Reader - E, 91k (wip)

A Romantic Adventure in the Old West: After being forced into a marriage with Mr. Saltarian by your father you are sent west to his estate in Nevada. Along the way you end up meeting one of the cowboys you have always fantasized about…

@conjuring-ghouls finds the perfect moments and turns them into the loveliest gifs. On top of that she is endlessly kind and supportive. Look at these!!!

@coffeeghoulie is writing the Aeon x Swiss hurt/comfort fic of y'all's dreams and I got to do my first "official" art collab for it yay!!

Eternal Heatstroke - Aeon x Swiss - M, 17k (wip)

For once in their life, Aeon feels lucky. Whoever's opened this portal, whoever's summoning ghouls Up Top, specifically wants a quintessence ghoul. They may not be the biggest or strongest quintessence ghoul, far from it, but they'll do anything this summoner wants if it means they get to live. Or: being Topside is a drastic change from the life Aeon's used to.

@writingjourney truly the kindest soul and an absurdly talented writer. I screenshot Ibi's tags on my posts all the time because they cheer me up so much 🥹🥹

Friday Nights (series) - Papas x GN!Reader - E, 40k

“But to die as lovers may - to die together, so that they may live together.” ― Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu, Carmilla Each of these stories features a vampire papa and a gender neutral reader.

@anamelessfool writes some of the best world building and characterizations that I have ever read in fanfiction AND she's a fantastic artist.

Violence & Gentleness - Primo x OC - E, 50k (wip)

You made me forget myself...I thought I was someone else, someone good... LATE OCTOBER 1979 Primo has his work cut out for him as the bodyguard of the beautiful and fearsome Mater Emerita Jocasta. As mystery after mystery unfolds, it becomes harder to remain a honest man in this den of thieves called the Ministry.

@foxybouquet makes wonderful art and her colloquial Italian posts are an incredible resource for the fandom.

@angellayercake has angel in her username for a reason tbh. I'm not exaggerating when I say that I learned important things about myself and my love language whilst reading the brilliant:

Banchetto - Terzo x F!Reader - E, 22k (wip)

Papa Emeritus III is struggling to adapt to his life after the Ghost project but perhaps some good homemade Italian food will do the trick.

(I'm cutting myself off here because I could do this all day. I will probably be making another list in the near future because I love and admire so many of you. 😅)

No pressure at all but I would really love to see this tag game keep going! If you're reading this please consider adding some of your personal favorites to the list! This fandom could use some positivity right about now ♡