#I think this qualifies as verstappie rewatch
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I need Max to serve some cunt bc it's been wayyy too long. The last time he really served cunt was when he called George a dickhead but I need moree
😑😑😑😑 👍🏽 ok respectfully we love a good Baku cat fight but like
- excuse me
- literally the next race
- Checo was telling media both Max’s titles happened because of him somebody out there was floating Prost senna conversations people lost their whole minds like 😭😭
-first of all quali didn't even start great like he hadn't set a lap when it got red flagged kind of Amateur hour at rbr. last time u will c number 1 car go out late btw he’s fully traumatized these days he’s breaking front wings hauling ass out of that garage god bless him. Anyway p9 wid his hyped up teammate starting on pole the casuals were celebrating even tho max was doing like. borderline unthinkable laps in fp2 so u could smell a generational moment from the get go
-dude overtook like literally everybody on hards by like lap 15 i think and still had all four wheels somehow spinning faster than checos fresh mediums by lap 40
- Destroying ur teammates entire wdc campaign in a single race weekend on hard tires from p9 kinda cunty idk?. To me
- Ok fine then Monaco: Jeddah won the battle but he won the war. made up 2 tenths in one of the shortest sectors of the whole calendar in prolly one of the best and most competitive quali sessions in Monaco, ever. Senna type performance, just fully letting the talent take over rascasse and antony noghes. U cannot serve more cunt than that
- Non? Bon. Spain: black and white flag for track limits. His engineer tells him he’s stupid and Max is like 'whatvr what’s the fastest lap' and his engineer is like 'SORRY did u not hear what I just' and max steals fastest lap from Checo. Who btw had just set that on new softs for his flop lil point and Max leading by 24 seconds at risk of getting a pen wid gp warning him against it is like 😚😚😚😚😚bet . This isn’t cunt to u. Ok
- FINE. Canada: do I have to talk about senna again😐. Do I have to say he equaled sennas wins at 25 years old. But despite the Senna numbers it was also an eerily Schumacheresq quali session from Max. Taking pole by a second under the rain is something u c twice, maybe once in a lifetime, if ur lucky. We are lucky 🫵🏽
- Austria: u look at me rn and tell me Austria wasn’t the most 2021 max you’ve seen that mf since that actual season. U tell me he didn’t serve cunt nearly sending both Red Bulls to eat shit at the RED BULL ring because he was a lil annoyed checo dared to like. Squeeze him a lil bit. Nearly overtaken by an Haas i cannot stress this enough. Bro Lewis impeded him once by accident during practice and Max literally twerked in front of his car and got away wid it. And on top of that he gaslit rbr into letting him pit for softs and risk the whole race to take one single extra point like he wud rather fucking die than let anybody else have it. He’s beating merc in the THE FONSTRCUTORS CHAMPIONSHIP‼️‼️‼️‼️ HES 1 PERSON
- .
- Austria was such fucking prime Verstappen cunt delivry it was so dumb and all of it completely unnecessary and ur fucking telling me he hasn’t really ‘served’ because he doesn’t have some tall beans and toast bitch up in his face like
- Which obvi brings me to Silverstone: HE WON THE BRITISH GP HE literally won the British Grand Prix???? Half a million people praying on his downfall, mclaren having its own lil moment he doesn’t give a fuck 5 poles and 6 wins in a row on ur head fucking losers eat it. Eat ittt. 2023 has been nonstop cunt serving from this guy it’s literally one of thee greatest verstappen performances to date put some respect on it immediately . Thank u
#ask#I’m sorry 😭😭😭#I sound so mad I just don’t play wid Max’s 2023 so far ok don’t do that#🌷💕🌷💕🌷#I think this qualifies as verstappie rewatch#long post
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the netherlands grand prix ✩ 27.08.2023
i genuinely don't even know where to start with this. my favorite race of all time (suzuka 90 is a close second). i was there. what a fucking masterpiece genuinely i don't know where to start?? ah??? so i guess i'll just... start???
the summer hadn't been too kind to me, but let's not get into that too much because truly who cares (i'm trying to get over something here), but it was my bday and this was my first race as a 21 year old ^_^ 💕🥺☀️☀️🌷🌷 and this race means much to me than just... best race of the season (which it truly fucking is btw like believe me if you think s1ngap0re was better u gotta unfollow me i'm sorry blud 💀💀💀)
sooo. erm. let me start with free practice!!! hey yeah i don't ever watch fp, but. guess what. I WAS THERE‼️‼️‼️‼️🥺🥺🥺 i had gotten tickets for zandvoort day one, and i'm beyond glad that i did. so so many good memories. i got so fucking sunburned 🥺☀️☀️. i saw vallteri on his bike on the way to the track (me and all the other verstappies in the bus waved at him and he very awkwardly waved back 😁😁😁😁😭😭😭😭 love u val) watching f1 cars, seeing rocky and max irl... it was beyond everything. i loved it so fucking much. i got my rbr jacket (🥰🥺💕🙏💥) there, along with just very good and nice memories :,)... no offense to daniel but seeing daniel break his wrist live was also very fucking.. lets say interesting 😵😵😵😵 i do NOT wish anyone harm btw genuinely very genuinely but that's a memory that will stick w me forever.... btw the fact i got a sunburn is very funny considering there was no sun to be seen on race day LOOOL. also george? new haircut? gax? what the fuck was this weekend (take me back)
i regret that i didn't go to qualifying irl, but we ball ⛹️‼️‼️‼️💥💥 qualifying made me saauuurrr nervous... as always but now i was about 40x more nervous than usual. i think i shed a fucking tear when max got p1. the actual qualifying session wasn't toooo crazy i guess 😭😭😭 but i was just SO happy that our baby got pole... i was so happy 🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷 OH AND ALEXANDER ALBON I SEE U. ALEEEEEEEEEXXXXXXXXXX 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
race day. 27/08/2023 will be in the history books for fucking ever and i'm so serious 🥺💕💘 not only the race with the most overtakes EVER. not only the race where max won his ninth gp in a row. but. we got the cutest fucking video of max and the grid before the race. my mom forced me to go to lunch with her and our family (🙄🙄🙄 /lh) and i was stressing SO fucking hard that we wouldn't make it back in time... and then i saw that beautiful video. the grid loves max so much it makes me feel sick??? 🥺🥺🥺💕💕‼️💥💥‼️‼️🌷🌷🌷 LIKE HOWWWW cutieful is he. jesus christ. anyway. i come back 3 minutes before race start. i'm shaking crying throwing up. and then the rain starts. me and my dad look at each other like erm whadda scallop... race starts. absolute fucking chaos. but what a beautiful chaos it was - the vibes were SO good. fernando slaying, max slaying, LIAM LAWSON slaying 🥺🥰🥺🥰🥺💌💕💌💕💌 genuinely i rewatched this race and my takeaway was that YES actually zandvoort DOES deserve a 10/10. argue with da wall. ALSO after the race. max with the nine gesture. our monarch looking like he wants to kiss max. that lady serenading max with the wilhelmus (????). MAX SPEAKING DUTCH (i did a walter white and dropped to the floor sobbing im being so fucking serious) 🥺🥺🥺🥺🙏🙏💕💕💕💕💌💌💌💌 this race is my roman empire and i love it so fucking much. thank you zandvoort.
✩ song of the race: summerlove - s connection
yaassss summer vibes... yaasssss max verstappen slay... yasss... 🥺🍹🌷✨
✩ extra: a small photodump
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Omg this verstappie rewatch is literally gonna be the whole season lmao
Part 1 2016-2018 > Part 2 2019-2022
In 2013, after becoming the World and European KZ class Champion, European OF class Champion, Continental KF class champion, and 3rd place laureate in the World KF class, 15 year old Max Verstappen had turned that years karting scene into a 'one man show' according to Vroomkart International. The title of the piece wasted no time posing what was, admittedly, a very bold question:
Gentlemen, a short view into the 2023 season
Baku, 2023. Ik what ur thinking. 19 wins and ur gonna start wid fucking Baku? And yes 🙂I will, and so shud u 🫵🏽Max lost Baku. The pole, the sprint and the race. Lingered about 3 secs behind checo after the SC, never closed the gap. And guess what, Baku was actually one of the most important races of this season, Maxs own words. Because that inconsistent pace? Those choppy lap times, killing his tires? Max was learning how to setup his car. Rb19 was clearly rb18s big brother, a real sunday beast, faster, more reliable, but a lil sensitive, demanded some hands on attention from his boy. So Max turned Baku into their fp4. U can c it on his onboard, hear him asking for different settings, toggling wid the balance. Those of us who know Max, we kinda suspected what he was up to. But it seemed others didnt. And whatvr max was about to do to these people in Miami bro, it wud be the type of reckoning u read about in the bible.
Miami, 2023. When max qualified p9 cheers echoed across both Americas. After the Baku loss, the slow start to the season, there was hope. Max Verstappen was about to lose the championship lead. People bought into the fairytale and they were loud about it too. They taunted him, booed him and his mechanics in parc ferme. And then Max was p2 by lap 15. Cut thru the field like butter and the whole stint he kept setting purples. Fastest lap after fastest lap. By lap 40 his hards were outpacing fresh mediums on a track u cud fry an egg on. Red bulls strategy for Max required the impossible and that's exactly what Max delivered. Before Miami, Checo was a title contender. After Miami, he was barely a competitor. Max took the 'tire whisperers' ambitions and grinded them into dust in 45 laps or less. It was the race that marked the beginning of the most dominant individual season in Formula 1 history but at its core, in classic Verstappen style, it was a lesson. A very simple one.
Shot by Brook Ward.
Monaco, 2023
- Qualifying Yk who doesn’t give a FUCK about lessons tho, Monaco. Monaco wont be taught by no man. But it’s 2023. This classic immovable object about to meet the most unstoppable force in modern sport history. Max's very first pole in Monaco, and fittingly so, it came out of an all-timer session. One of those saturdays that make u understand why the tax dodging diva of f1 is going absolutely nowhere. Pole switched between Ocon, Yuki, Sharl and Alonso right up until Max did his thing. 2 mins to the checkered flag, it looked like Nando had it locked. 2 untouchable purples, textbook. It wud have been a beautiful moment, a deserved reward for an old dawg who’d kept at it and had a capable car again. Unfortunately for Nando, though, Sennas illegitimate child clocked in that Saturday. He had a bit of a history wid third sectors that once fucked him. But it's 2023, so this wud be the one that made him. Max put 3 tenths on Alonso's head in one of the shortest, most technical corners of the entire calendar. F1's 'sunday' driver by excellence, the one stop pacemaker, the metronome, the endurance machine, proved that he was all that and also, in fact, the type of elite qualifier who can write his signature on the walls of Monte Carlo.
- Race Monaco is all about Saturday obvi but imo this years race is also worth watching because its actually kind of a banger wid mixed conditions, insane strategies and because this is a verstappie rewatch, u get to c Max at his best: in a chaotic packed field under the rain.
Canada, 2023. Speaking of rain masters. Senna's legend has been clinging to Max from the very first time he traumatized wet cat Rosberg in Brazil in 2016 but it was this year, in Canada, wid Nando and Lewis by his side, the guys who were also there, who saw it happen too, that Max finally matched Senna's win tally. 41. It was a perfect weekend, a testament to the talent that allowed a 26 year old to overtake Ayrton Senna in the record book, and it began, as if in tribute, wid a soaking wet qualifying. Max's pole lap was one second faster than the rest of the grid. One full second. If ur a Nando or a Lewis fan, I wud definitely give it sunday a watch as well because old gays were definitely out there. Also we got this. What yall know about this .
Shot from Nurphoto.
Lemme tell u something rn: Ur looking at 12 world championships, 189 wins, and a 14 year old gap from youngest to oldest. You're looking at statistically, the most successful driver of all time, the guy whose racecraft still seen by many as the finest this sport has ever seen, and a kid who's been sitting between them since he was 17 years old. The same kid who, a few racers later, broke records that existed long before the other two were even born. Yk, Lewis said it better than I ever cud, 'this is quite an iconic top 3'.
Austria, 2023. Why are u a Verstappen fan? U ever been asked that question. Ik i have. 😐 Lots of possible answers. To me Austria has all of them. In Canada, Checo barely made the finish line while Max pushed rbr to their 100th team victory and ((unofficially)) began his chase of the Vettel record. Mind u the mf wont admit that’s what he’s doing, but it is. Him, GP, the whole team. They want it. But we'll get to that. Max is a hunter, and his boy car is the best hound of his career so far. Together, they’d caught the scent. Races like Australia, Spain, Monaco, Canada, they showed it was possible. His management was getting Schumacher shouts, his qualifying was getting Senna's. Clarks proficiency. 2023 can be understood as the result of Max's life long pursuit of perfection, the crowning point of his hard work, the realization of all his potential, that prodigal nature that had been so obvious for so long, finally, entering its prime wid a car that can make history. And yet. AND YET. max has something that all those other legendary mfs lack. Something that is deeply, deeply Max’s. Free practice 1 in Austria and that talented, beautiful creature of God was ready to send it all to hell to make a POINT. Austria was a sprint this year, so already you've pissed him off. During fp1, Lewis impeded Max like once.
((And listen
Lewis saw that boy enter the paddock and immediately called security and along wid seb vettel and raikkonen launched a class action lawsuit against him on the grounds of a) fuck b) them kids. Then 6 years later Lewis and that now grown ass man spent a whole legendary season trying to kill each other. U c how this relationship may have some residue of . lets say. conflict.))
So Lewis impeded Max in fp1 and Max's raytheon hamilton-calibrated sensors activated and he did nothing less but the exact same thing in sprint qualifying. Blocked old mans flying lap. Lewis is limping thru this weekend, mind u, like it’s almost sad. It’s kinda elderly abuse. THEN, the actual sprint. Again, Austria is red bull's home turf. packed wid red bull fans. The car is a rocket, they're on a streak, lots of good photo ops for the team. It started raining. Even better. Lights out, and Checo took the lead first and in the process like . squeezed Max a lil bit. Pushed him on the grass. U can guess what happened next. 😐😐😐😐To answer that first question and to quote somebody who knows him, Max is Max. No matter where, how, against who. Wid a rocketship, wid a hole in his car, winning, losing, fighting for the lead against Lewis Hamilton, fighting for sixth against baby schumi, refusing to comply wid team orders against sainz, scolding danny ric about discipline, waiting 7 months to deliver his justice in brazil, calling russell a dickhead in Baku, whether in front of 300 000 haters in Silverstone of half a million fans in Spielberg, he'll do what he thinks is right. Thats the kind of mf that wins constructors all by himself. 575 points, on his own. Over 1000 laps lead. Max Verstappen has not succeeded in f1 despite his character, but because of it. Because when Checo squeezed him at the start of a stupid fucking sprint that wont make a dent in his records or his lead, Max collected his car and lunged thru the inside line like the title wud be decided in the next turn. He was willing to send himself, checo, and a goddamn haas to hell to remain at the front. And that’s why I'm a fan.
Zandvoort, 2023. 9 consecutive wins. A race that u feel in ur stomach because you know what it means. The sheer size of the accomplishment. That word ringing in everybodys ears since Miami. Inevitable. inevitable. Up until it happened, and then obvi Monza wid the perfect 10, nobody really wanted to believe it. seb's 9 was one of those things held sacred and hallowed by the sport. Like Schumachers points in a season, Ascaris win percentage, Clarks laps lead, and Hamiltons consecutive podiums. Sacred things. And in 2023, the nonbeliever broke them all. Grasped and squeezed wid his very cynical hands. They’re his now. No one else’s. What he did, no one else can do. Max is always outstanding in Zandvoort tbh, thats his track, his fans, his weather. But this years quali was particularly emblematic of the gap to the rest of the grid , and his teammate especially. 1.7s faster than checo. The race was just as impressive. Rain hit early on, complete chaos, and while everybody scrambled to choose the right tires, GP was in Max’s ear, calm as ever, 'it’s up to you'. It really was. It always was.
Zandvoort, 2023. > Monza, 2023.
Japan, 2023. Red Bulls factory crowning weekend. Coming out a disaster Singapore, yet another statement win. Singapore had showed what it took to slow down Verstappen in 2023: not just the wrong setup, but the wrong strategy too. As we'll c in Texas, like we've seen in 2016, 2019, 2020, a machine off the pace alone wont stop Max from winning races. In Suzuka, rocky was back into his operational window, and Max proved exactly who was it that singlehandedly delivered the constructors championship. One of those classic Max weekends. 20 drivers on track but 2 different leagues and he's on his own. Wid a 177 point lead over his teammate, yet another record broken, biggest point gap between 1st and 2nd. ((In the end, the margin was 290)). Max names Suzuka as his most satisfying pole lap of the season. Bro put half a second on the grid in one go.
COTA, 2023. just something in the Americas ((me)) that unlocks the extra prodigal gene in this mf. Talent of the century? Put his ass in North America we can stretch that shit to the millennium idc idc . Miami, Texas, Brazil, Mexico, and now Vegas, to me these are cornerstones of Verstappen excellence. Max holds the record for most wins in a single geographical location over one season. ((Of course he does)) 10 consecutive wins in NA, across state lines, country borders, wid different conditions, tracks, circuits, tires, formats, setups. This years’ Austin GAG? Apparently they didn’t set the tarmac right. track was a bumpy mess. Max struggled from the start wid braking issues and tire wear, but he kept his head cool because he knew he had the basics. There was once a time before the rb19 , when all he had was a cap and 1 year of open wheel experience, and his 18 year old self put on a clinic against a 30 year old world champion on how to defend on old faulty rubber. That’s exactly what Max did in Cota. Bro was able to make up for aerodynamic loss wid nothing but pedal and wheel work. Do not talk to him during braking. Do not fucking talk to him during braking. That’s all Max asked. 50th win. Offically 3rd OAT, behind Vettel, Hamilton and Schumacher. ((He’s now alone in 3rd OAT, wid 53 wins.)). He’s 26. After Merc and Ferrari were proclaimed ‘illegal’ what truly shocked me wasn’t that they tried to cheat, but that they wud try to pull that shit against this Verstappen, in this car, in 2023. They lowered their floors for smoother suspensions to fight Adrian Neweys Frankenstein monster but the real machine was sitting right behind the wheel. And he won. Actually, he mollywhooped those bitches. Not the floor, not the wings, just a damn good racing driver. Good luck next time.
Qatar gp, 2023. Dutch man allergic to winning world championships in a normal way, millions left emotionally berated every year begging for the sweet release of ted kravitzs voice. No I’m jk but actually tell me why this fool cud not have waited for the race to clinch it. Bro had the title confirmed by a sprint where he finished SECOND. As a verstappie, imma tell u to watch this because it’s like. get out of my face rn I love you so much I’m so happy for u also that helmet is so pretty. In Qatar, Max became 1 of 5 drivers who won back to back to back world championships. After the year 2000, 1 of 3. Along wid the biggest championship margin in the most successful season of all time, well. 1 of 1.
Las Vegas, 2023. ummm ok ik this may SHOCK u but he wasn’t a fan. Max spent the whole season bitching about Vegas and breaking records and threatening retirement like that’s literally a fair description of events. Just very verstappen and migraine inducing type of shit. But yes, Vegas. Vegas held no old school appeal whatsoever. And he was right about some things. He never berated the circuit itself, the quality of the racing, just the show around it. U shud build for the track, not around it. It’s not that difficult to understand, or even that unpopular. But Max forgot about one important thing that wud prolly hurt his cause. He has never landed on US soil and not served. The plot armor wud simply never let my baddie have her AHA!!!!moment in Nevada. So I want u to open that cringe FUCKING compilation Sunday stream of the Vegas gp and c what happens when a sleep deprived verstappen and his so called ‘dominant’ ‘untouchable’ ‘unbeatable’ ‘rocket ship’ are released on a frozen track wid barely any data because one of the potholes burst and cut practices into 10 mins. Bitch what happens is good fucking f1 😭😭😭 Some real formula uno cabron 😭😭 Max retakes the lead at the start, overcooks his frozen tires, pushes sharl off, gets a penalty, serves his penalty, comes back wid gods wrath emanating from his fugly white helmet, obliterates the gap to first and Russell along wid it ((🫡)) passes both cars in front in one slick veteran move and sinks his teeth into p1 for the remaining 13 laps. And wins. Maybe not his most characteristic win, but def the funniest one. Stupid ass even sang Elvis. That’s an f1 driver bitch. He can’t trick me.
Here we are. Abu Dhabi. Breathe out. Red Bull won constructors in Japan, Max won the drivers championship in Qatar. It all started wid a lesson, remember? Max was a good teacher. He spent 8 months making sure we learned. Did you?
By Abu Dhabi, 2023, Max had officially set 20 new records, including the record for most records broken in a season by a single driver. 5 of those achievements had already been set in 2022, just upgraded in 2023: most wins in a season, most podiums in a season, most consecutive wins from pole, most hat tricks in a season, and most consecutive top two finishes in history. 3 of his achievements, however, kept him on the hunt until the very last lap: 3rd most wins of all time, over a 1000 laps lead, and the highest percentage of wins in the sports history. Max got them all. He’s now, statistically, the sole protagonist of the most dominant season in f1, and f1’s 3rd most successful driver, behind Schumacher and Hamilton. Max won 19 out of 22 races. 10 of those wins were consecutive. Right now, he’s already on another streak. 3 more wins and he matches his own record. 4 and he resets the book forever. What Max did wid the rb19 needs to be watched again and again and again, because it’ll be years. YEARS .Until we begin to learn how to truly appreciate it. This is just my humble attempt.
In Abu Dhabi, the job was done wid a series of incredible defensive moves that completely shut the door on sharl. No flashy overtakes, no heroics on the inside line. Just strong classic defending. Sharls attack was dealt wid, nullified, the gap was built, set and managed, and Max saw the fireworks 17 seconds earlier than the rest. In 2023, Max was untouchable by all but one. The car he called ‘rocky’. The only car, to this day, according to the man himself, that ever saw him smile before he crossed the finish line. That ever made him happy before it made him a winner.
You tell me.
#ask#verstappie rewatch#GUYS ODFJKGLFKJD I FORGOTTTT HAPPY HOLIDAYS IM SORRYYY#💕💘🦁💞💕💘🫡#max verstappen#2023 season#I’m so dead bro I’m so beat I’m sorry#wife yelling at me as we speak i got cat vomit all over my sweater#it’s been a Time yall#long post#f1
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max released his very own verstappie all-time win list, i must get your analysis 🔎
Omfg tastyyy ok heres Max's picks for his top 10 wins according to his latest red bulletin and transcribed by the awesome @tyrannosaurus-maxy , lets check if they feature in the verstappie rewatch
spain, 2016 ✅ mexico, 2018 ❌ ((analysis: a classic maxiel shootout that I wud have included if not for format limits and my pick of china, 2017. although very cunty of him to pick this as a crucial victory in his career, because it was a proper 'u wont win while I'm here' send off.)) austria, 2019 ✅ germany, 2019 ❌ ((analysis: ok I get it because that race was like .. netflix's drive to survive live action so to come out of it p1 is a classic max slay. also rip Hockenheim shout out to a real 1 u put the fear of god in those men fr)) 20th anniversary, 2020✅ france, 2021 ❌ ((analysis: entire 2021 season shud be its own verstappie rewatch lets keep it FRESH and TRUTHFUL howevr. I did go wid Emilia Romagna for my pick of the first wins because of what it represented ..dramaturgically. Like imagine the existential horror of knowing Verstappen has the car to challenge u in a classic f1 track on pure pace. Horrifying. But France did start to chip away at the 'average qualifier' myth in the culture and it did show rbr were willing to go freak for freak to dethrone Lewis. Looking back to it , it IS a champion drive from Max at such an early stage of his maiden wdc run, so makes sense it felt like that to him too.)) COTA, 2021 ✅, Spa, 2022 ✅ miami, 2023 ✅ , japan, 2023✅
Veredict: verstappie seal of approval. Some new insight particularly into COTA, 2021 which answered a few questions I had about the Silverstone crash and its consequences. Idk if yall ever saw pics of Max's lid after the crash, but the paint on the left side was completely scrapped off. Obvi we knew it the hit was serious enough from his radio, the general state of his car, how he looked climbing out of it, but I truly never expected him to share the full extent of the concussion. This isnt like the cramp or the like the bird he hit that one time, concussions are scary and uncomfortable and we still learning how to deal wid them in sport. Its an ongoing debate between medical responsibility and individual choice and that demands sensitivity and care and often lacks both. Because this time it involves Max and he didnt die, it now invites the worst people in the world to be purposely nasty and disingenuous in their interpretation of what he shared. But I think its important he told us. He shud not have to hide how much a crash like that impacted him, his title run, and what it meant to come out the other side a champion. I always said COTA 2021 is when he went from lil bro to big bro and now I'm sure he feels the same.
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