#I think this is what Christmas Eve in Hell feels like
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javierpena-inatacvest · 21 days ago
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I put on my "Read Like a Girl" shirt to wear work today (it's the one teacher shirt I will NEVER get rid of) and as I was leaving, I told my husband how insane it is that someone could tell exactly who I was voting for based on the fact I'm wearing a shirt with diverse women in real careers that promotes female literacy đŸ„Č
I know neither candidate is perfect, but I do know that one of them isn't a convicted felon who wants to strip away basic human rights and bodily autonomy!!! Vote to protect your own rights, the rights of others, vote for your family, your friends, vote for the people who fought for your right to have a voice to make a difference in this world!!
I am very fortunate to have friends and family who are voting the same way as I do (my husband literally asked me this morning "What should I wear to work that lets everyone know I'm excited to vote for our first female president" đŸ„ș) but if you are not in the same situation, remember that YOU are the only person in the voting booth who knows who you voted for!!! The only thing anyone can access is whether or not you voted, not how you voted- your vote is YOUR vote!!
If you live in the U.S. and you haven't already, please, please, PLEASE go vote!!! đŸ’™đŸ«‚ đŸ‡ș🇾
Don't mind my face below the cut, I wanted to share my shirt but I also am trying to keep from bursting into tears thinking about the potential future of our country!!!!
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fluoneia · 9 days ago
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pitfighter!vi knew it was bad to be indulging in something like a whorehouse, yet, she found herself at babettes often since she starting fighting in the ring.
usually, it was a quick in and out, but this time, she heard of a new worker. since the others started declining her because they were too rough with them, she decided to take the chances with you.
she drunkenly stumbled into babette’s place, grabbing onto the doorframe to steady herself.
that’s when she saw you. standing there, all pretty in nothing but pink.
vi’s eyes widen. she sees you talking to babette, no doubt starting as a worker there. vi chuckles to herself as she thinks, oh, i’m having fun tonight.
vi stumbles forward, grimacing as her shoulder hits the wall. she walks forward, leaning against the front desk.
“hey, babette.” vi slurs. she turns her glance to you, peering you up and down. her hungry, raw eyes make a shiver go down your spine. her badly-dyed black hair, ends pink, like how you assumed her hair used to look. she had bruises on her face, blood stained on her lip.
you gasp.
“hey, beautiful.” the girl rasps.
“vi.” babette says calmly, “i’m afraid.. you’ll have to take your business elsewhere.”
“what?” she turns to babette. “why?”
“well.. none of my girls will take you anymore. if i mention your name, they instantly say no.”
what the hell could this girl have done that makes it so every girl would decline her? money is money, you thought. and this girl seems willing to pay it.
“that’s bullshit.” she scoffed, slapping her palm on the desk. “bunch of wimps.”
“that’s precisely why, violet.” babette shakes her head. and her name is so.. un-fitting, you think. maybe the girl she was before, the girl with pink hair, was violet. but, this didn’t seem like a girl who deserved the honour to be named after things as delicate as flowers. but then again, you never liked delicate girls.
“i will.” you speak up. you straighten your back.
the girl— vi, turns to you. she eyes you up and down. and she reeks of alcohol, but, you could overlook that.
truth be told, you wanted to see what she would do that the others that made them not want to take her as a client anymore. you wanted to see what she could do.
“will you?” vi leans toward you. you smell the alcohol on her tongue. what made her this confident.. and if she can back it up?
and babette gives you a look. “alright. goodluck, then.” she snorts, leaning back.
you glance back toward vi. her eyes are staring at you like she can see underneath your clothes. undressing you with her eyes. and you wonder how she could look so damn hot.
red jacket. black hair. face-paint on her face. the way she held herself was so.. unreal. she knew she was attractive, and that’s what made her even more attractive.
you hadn’t had a good fuck in a while. at your old brothel, it was nothing but smelly, old, beer-bellied men, often from piltover looking for the thrill on cheating on their wives.
so, you hoped, maybe, just maybe, her reputation holds up, and you can just.. let yourself go.
oh, and boy, was she able to hold it.
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you were writhing. your legs shaking, wrapped around her head as she eats you out like you’re a damned feast on christmas eve.
“o-oh, gods!” you’d scream, hands digging into her black hair, gripping and pulling her scalp. vi whines against you as you pull and tug, your plush, soft thighs wrapped so tightly around your head.
her fingers curl inside of you, only adding to the pure euphoria you feel. you’d fully forgotten everything— nothing mattered but vi’s tongue on you, licking through your folds, tasting you, feasting on you.
“ugh— fuck!” you whine, head throwing back against the pillow. the smoke of the candle around you, earthy scent only adding to the fog in your head.
how could anyone pass up on this? you’d think as her tongue brings you to your fourth orgasm of the night. your voice cracks from the sounds you’ve been making, no longer caring about how people might hear you. you’re too far gone to care.
“that’s it,” you hear vi whisper, voice vibrating against your skin in the most pleasurable way as it could. her voice was rasped, so drunk on your taste that she swore she’d never tasted better pussy before she met you.
“vi, vi, vi—“ you chant her name like a damn mantra as her hands tighten on your hips, dragging you toward her as you begin to pull away.
“oh, fuck, s’too much!” your voice slurs, her tongue chasing you as you pull back.
but that wasn’t true. you wanted this, you wanted more then this, you wanted to be treated so well that you forgot your own name.
she takes a second, pulls her head away, and you sigh in relief. “you asked for this.” she says, before running her tongue along your folds, your hips jerking at the sudden stimulation.
she placed a kiss against you, before pulling back, running a hand over her hair, inhaling a deep breath.
yet, her hands don’t pull away. she smiles a toothy smile as her fingers begun rubbing small, long circles over your most sensitive spot, leaning toward you.
“mmf, vi.” you cry, eyes opening to peer up at her. you don’t realize the tear running down your temple before she wipes it away.
“so beautiful.” vi gasped, fingers dipping inside you only to move back up. you cry out, legs shutting against her hand, preventing her from moving her hands any further.
but, her eyes darken, and her other hand rips your leg to the side, pinning it to the side of the bed.
“don’t do that.” she nearly damn growled, “do that again, and you’re only getting it worse.”
she leans toward you, eyes glancing all over your body, at the plush of your stomach, so soft, and twitching, pushing up from the bed, leaning into her touch despite your protests.
“ohmygod!” you whine. “fuck, oh my god!”
everything around you was so hazy. so foggy, so unreal. her hands were unreal, so laced with skill it almost drove you insane.
“said you can take it.” vi’s slurred voice only brings you more into the spiral of your own pleasure. her lips find your neck, placing sloppy, open mouthed kisses on your skin. her teeth nip at your neck, grazing against your skin, and it’s such a sweet gesture if you weren’t so out of it.
the feeling makes your skin set ablaze, prickles all over your body.
“you can take another. can’t you? hm?” she hums against you as her slender fingers dip back into you, curling, pressing against that spot she now knew drove you absolutely crazy.
and you whimper and whine, but you don’t protest. you wanted this. that’s all you’ve wanted for years. someone who can keep up with your stamina, your needs.
and vi not only meets that, but surpasses it. you swore she was between your legs for three hours and didn’t move once to breathe.
she was so enveloped in you. and that’s what you need.
her fingers rile you up, ignoring the absolute ache of your core, your whole entire body. you relished in the fact that you’d probably be here all night, but that’s what you wanted.
and as you feel your stomach untwist, that knot release, your vision goes fucking white from the searing, hot pleasure through your whole body.
“ohm—“ you cry, chest heaving as her fingers work you through your orgasm, slowly, yet continuing to abuse your bruised spot that she’d been hitting all night. “fuck, fuck! fuck me, oh my god!” you cry, gasping for air.
your arms throw around her, pulling her against you, entire body curling into her, legs clamping around her hand. your body shook, your nerves feeling like they were alive, and they would never die.
and finally, she stops.
you gasp a satisfied breath of air, mouth falling open, eyes squeezing shut before she finally lets her hand slip away from you.
her hands glide up your body, stopping at your hips before she hauls you over her own body. her hand rests on your back, her own breath heavy as she tries to regain herself.
“you’re amazing.” she whispers against your hair. you freeze, taken aback by the sudden intimacy, but you let yourself melt into her, both not having the will or the strength to pull away from her.
“you’re fucking amazing.”
and slowly, you laugh. you glance toward her.
“are you.. are you done?” you say quietly, timidly.
she cocks a brow. “do you not want me to be?”
you shake your head. “no, no..” you inhale a deep breath, hand moving to take one of the strands in her hair in your palm. “for now, im done.” you snort as you shake your head, body still compelling from the previous orgasms. “but..”
“but?” she hums, hand moving to grab the plush of your ass, before running up your back. you gasp at the crude gesture.
but, you shake it off.
“you.. you haven’t let me touch you at all.” you say, shakingly pushing yourself up, resting your palms on her chest.
you let your hair spill over your face as you move closer, lips hovering just above hers.
“yeah. that’s not what i’m here for.”
vi gasps a breath of air. she brings herself closer, hands resting on your hips.
“that’s what you paid me for.” i cock a brow, before laughing and pressing kisses along her jaw, up to the corner of her mouth, testing the waters.
you smirk, you hand moving down to her jacket, slowly pulling it away.
“let me do my job. huh?”
“fine. but you’re not getting anything out of me. i give. i don’t receive.”
“you underestimate me.” you smile against her lips. “i’ve been in this business for years. i know how to pleasure a woman, vi.”
she pushes herself up, nose touching eachothers.
“we’ll see about that, cupcake.”
vi left the brothel feeling like a new person. all she could think was, what the fuck?
she clears her throat as she passes by babette, not daring to look at her as she struggles to stand on her shaking legs.
she discovered something about herself she never thought she would that night. and oh, she’d definitely be coming back if that meant you were there.
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a/n. for @obivari :,)) more info on my taglist here
part 2 here.
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charliemwrites · 11 months ago
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Part 2 of Neighbor!Johnny!
(Feeling a bit ✹naughty✹ this Christmas Eve so
 here.)
After the fight with Ryan, you try to keep your distance from Johnny — keep the peace and all that. The more you think about the accusations your husband made
 the more that guilty pit in your stomach grows.
It’s all been platonic, at least on your end. Sure, you let Johnny get away with a bit more than the average stranger, but he’s a good friend! Nothing you wouldn’t let one of your other friends do. (Even if you would find the lingering touches and general disregard for personal space a little strange from someone else.)
Sure, you have a suspicion every now and then that Johnny has more than platonic feelings for you
 but they’re fleeting. Every time you worry that he’s about to cross a line, he always draws away from it. Evens out his smile, break his gaze, drops his hand. You’re close, that’s all.
But
 if it’s bothering your husband. Well, you’re obligated to take that into account, aren’t you?
Even if you ache, missing your friend. Missing his silly little jokes, his cheeky grin. Miss his company while you do laundry, a helping hand in the yard, even just someone to chat with over podcasts and tv shows.
Hell, you miss hugs. Ryan’s never been big on
 affection. Especially not in public.
(Barely in the house, either, really. You’ve tried talking to him about it. He swears he loves you, he just doesn’t show affection that way. You struggle to figure out why that’s so with you when he has no problem hugging his mother, sister, hell, even his secretary.
Actually
 you struggle to figure out how he shows you affection. So you’ve stopped trying to figure it out at.)
But Johnny. Oh, Johnny is just so sweet to you. A hug when he greets you, a hug before he leaves. A kiss to your cheek when you hand him a drink or a snack. A hand on your hip when he leans past you to get things from high shelves. Nudges to your thighs during good parts of shows.
You miss it. Him. The friendship you’ve built in your too-quiet home, where the other neighbors seem to like your husband so much more than you.
“What’s goin’ on, hen?” Johnny asks one morning. You’ve been keeping coffee dates meetups on the porch. Which is almost worse, because it’s cold and you find yourself cuddling up to the heat he exudes like a furnace. “Hardly seen you in a month; miss my best girl.”
“Sorry, Johnny,” you sigh, rubbing at your face. Ryan’s been working late most days this week, comes in so late and wakes you up. “Just
 Ryan, ya know.”
His jaw tightens, eyes flashing dangerously. You’re reminded suddenly, inexplicably, of just what Johnny does for a living. How often you’ve seen him just back home with blood still buried in his nail beds.
“Dinnae, hen,” he replies. “What about ‘im?”
You fidget, eyes on your half-empty mug. It feels wrong, admitting relationship quibbles to someone outside of family. You used to have a policy that marriage matters should stay within the marriage. But
 it’s hard when it feels like you’re the only one working on the marriage. It’s a lot of work to do alone.
“He just
 he doesn’t think it’s proper,” you admit, “how
 how often you’re over. How close we are.”
“That so?”
You hunch your shoulders, feeling wrong. Feeling guilty for a whole new reason; for disappointing Johnny.
“Look at me, bonnie?”
He has to tip your chin up with his hand to get you to meet his eyes. His expression is softer than you expect.
“What about you, eh?”
“Me
?” You blink, peering up at him through your lashes.
“Yer feelings are all I care about, hen.”
“Johnny,” you sigh, trying to reprimand, but sound more pleading instead. He shakes your head a bit, gently; his own reprimand.
“Answer me, bonnie.”
“I like spending time with you,” you whisper.
The corners of his mouth twitch up as he hums.
“‘Course ye do,” he hums, “‘n I like spendin’ time with you. It’s not fair of ‘im, is it?”
You blink, brows pulling together in confusion. Johnny continues, the thumb on your chin gently stroking.
“Not fair of ‘im to keep you all cooped up here, come home so late, neglect ye when he is around,” he coos. “And now he’s tellin’ you to keep away from your best friend.”
He tsks, that dangerous glint in his eyes again.
“Wastin’ his tongue for bullshite when he should be usin’ it to lick your pretty pussy.”
Your mouth drops open, shock and heat flooding you hotly. “Johnny!” You gasp, scandalized.
He finally cracks a grin again. “Tell me I’m wrong, bonnie, ‘m not! When’s the last time he worked you over the way you deserve, huh? When’s the last time he made you squirt all over your sheets?”
You shove at him and then cover your burning face, trying not to squirm. Can’t answer because it would be proving him right and you don’t want to encourage his scandalous teasing.
“Bet he’d try to make you change ‘em even if he did,” Johnny grumbles, shaking his head. “Disgraceful. You ought to be put to sleep on a nice, thick cock.”
Whack!
“Oi! What was that fer?!”
“You’re being a creep, Johnny!” Your stern tone in undercut by your embarrassed laughter. “Quit talking about my shitty sex life.”
“So it is shitty!”
“Shut up!”
When a discreet box shows up at your door two days later, you know exactly who it’s from.

that doesn’t stop you from using the (shockingly detailed and realistic) dildo inside the packaging.
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idkwhatimdoinghere1655 · 13 days ago
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Something Else - Lando Norris
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<word count - 8614> |part 1 - Nerd|part 2 - Rumours|part 3 - So Special|
warnings: more maths, biology, bitches
That night, Lando spent his evening in his room, procrastinating. He had homework to do, but he couldn't bring himself to sit at his desk and pick up his pen. Plus, he could just do it with you tomorrow, anyway. 
The excitement that he felt as a result of getting to sit with you again, getting to spend time with you again was unlike anything else he had ever felt. It was like he was a young child on Christmas Eve, unable to wait for the next morning to roll around so that they could see what Santa had brought them. 
His whole family could see a clear shift in his mood, since they had grown so accustomed to moody, sad Lando over the past couple of days. All he wanted to do was get to school the next day just so that he could get to second break and meet you in the library - and that was something he never thought he'd say. 
Lando had also made his mind up that tomorrow, he was going to ask for your snap. Or your number. Having your number felt a lot more personal and serious than just having your Snapchat. He had a lot of people's snaps, but not many people's numbers. But he wanted yours. 
He wanted to save the conversations you'd have, he wanted to be able to call you when he got home from school and talk to you until he couldn't keep his eyes from drooping shut and then do it all again the next day until he could spend his weekends with you. 
Lando truly was the epitome of a love-sick teenage boy, pining after a girl who he wasn't even sure who wanted him back. You had to though, right? You wore his jumpers, you helped him with his work, he drove you home, hell you hugged each other. 
Meanwhile, you were happy, just not to the scale that Lando was. You were confused, to say the least. You didn't think that everything was just automatically going to blow over just because you had stuck up for yourself once, and the fact that you had was surprising to you. 
But you didn't know if you could keep on standing up for yourself, remembering how you had just broken down in front of Lando and felt like a complete idiot. It also baffled you how... understanding, he had been.
He didn't laugh, didn't tell you to get a grip, he didn't stand there awkwardly - well, he did but he had the right intentions. He had hugged you. I mean, what teenage boy hugs a girl that they're friends with when she's crying?
Despite the jokes he sometimes made, he clearly had an old head on young shoulders. The maturity that he had showed made you like him more, if you were being honest. How much you like him was obvious to you at this point.
You'd always been able to appreciate his face, but now it was more than that. You wanted to spend time with him, sit with him, just be near him. You wanted to laugh at his jokes, hear his voice, make him laugh. 
Yet there was always the fear. If you were actually together, what other rumours would people spout? How much worse would it get? Sure, you'd have Lando there by your side, and you knew he'd stick up for you, but how much more could you take? 
Was your adoration of him enough to cancel out everything people said?
Alas, the next morning, you had the courage to get on the bus instead of having to walk the freezing journey to school. Lando wasn't there, but you weren't upset by it. Max and his friends also didn't say anything, which was... weird, but you chose to ignore it. 
That and the weird feeling of dread that you had in your gut. 
Anyway, you walked into school, actually going to the canteen instead of the toilets or the lockers in fear of people talking to you. As you sat down at the table you usually did, the people that filtered in gave you weird looks. 
It almost looked remorseful, maybe something along the lines of pity? They spoke in hushed whispers around you, none of them making the effort to speak to you. You just scrolled on your phone as you sat there, your headphones in your ears. 
You could hear the faint chatterings of the other people in your year, but you were more focused on your phone. Eventually, the people in the canteen fell silent, the light buzzing of their conversations dying down as the doors opened. 
Out of curiosity, you looked up to see Lilly, strutting into the room. You knew something was amiss, but you had no clue what it was. People looked between you and her, and you were so confused as to what was going on. 
To make the atmosphere worse, Lando walked in after her a few seconds later, and you saw how come people's eyes went wide. Lando smiled at you before taking himself over to his friends, and Lilly went to her own table. 
"Mate, is it true?" Max asked Lando, and all he could do was roll his eyes. He had heard the sentence a lot of time recently, and he could only assume that he was about to hear some bullshit. But what Max said nearly made his heart stop. 
"Did you cheat on Y/N with Lilly?" 
Now that was a question that had a lot to unpack. To start off with, there was no way he could've cheated on you since you weren't together, that was the first major thing that he went through in his head. 
The second thing was that it was a stupid question; he'd never cheat on you. If you were his, he wouldn't risk losing you over something so stupid and hurtful as cheating. If you were his, he'd never have the desire to be with anyone else. If you were his, he'd be the best damn boyfriend he could've possibly been. 
Thirdly, it was already established that he wouldn't cheat to begin with, but certainly not with Lilly. God, even the sound of her name in his head made him want to throw up. He knew she had a massive crush on him, but he'd never stoop that low. 
"Who the fuck said that?" he rushed, his tone not lacking urgency. 
"I don't know where it came from, Will told me this morning," Max sheepishly said, not missing the alarm in Lando's voice. He knew his friend had been having a hard time lately - and he was a participant. But he also knew that it was going to get worse from now.
"Oh my christ," he mumbled, getting up nearly as quickly as he had sat down. Lando had spotted Will going over to the lockers earlier, and he hoped he was still there. You saw his face, the look on it. 
There was no emotion on his features other than rage, and you still didn't know what was going on. As he left, people carried on looking between you and Lilly, and you could only assume that it was something to do with her. 
"Will," Lando said, spotting the blonde boy fiddling with dials on his locker. 
"Hey Lando! What's-" he cheerily started, but he stopped when he saw Lando's face. He knew what he was asking about. "What's up, mate?" he asked, not even knowing if he wanted to find the answer out in the end.                                             
"What did you tell Max? About me 'cheating' on Y/N?" 
Will was internally cursing Max for telling Lando that he had been the one to spread the message around the friend group, and he was nothing short of terrified of Lando right now. "I just told him what Maisie told me," he quietly said. 
"And what did Maisie tell you?" Lando prompted.
"She just said that things weren't great between you and Y/N and that you apparently spent last night with Lilly..." he trailed off, and the pieces all fell into place in his head. Lilly. 
She had surely been the one to spread it around her friends, who were the gossipers of the school. He should've known it would be her, especially after how she had spoken to you and about you when he was listening. 
He wasn't going to bother going to Maisie and asking her what Lilly had said, but he knew Lilly would just spout pure and utter bullshit to him and it'd be a waste of time trying to get the truth out of her. At least Maisie would be easy to intimidate the veracities of the story out of. 
Lando needed to get to the bottom of this, preferably before first period so you wouldn't spend your lesson upset. It was naive to think that this wouldn't get back to you before that point, but he would be a lot more relieved if he could tell you what was going on before you got upset. 
"You absolute idiot, you know that Y/N and I aren't together, and you sure as hell know that I wouldn't touch that bitch with a 10 foot barge pole!" Lando spat, taking himself away from will before he did something he'd regret. 
Meanwhile, you were still in the dark about everything that was going on. Until now. "Hey... erm... I'm really sorry to hear about what Lando did. It's really shitty. Especially with Lilly. I guess we all should've seen it coming," someone came up to you and said. 
It was one of the usually shy girls, so it was surprising to see her come and talk to you out of the blue. "What are you talking about?" you asked, and her mouth dropped.
"You don't know what he did?" she asked, suddenly feeling like this was the single worst idea she had had in at least the last five years. 
"What did he do?" you replied, thinking that Lando had done or said something that was instantly going to ruin the reconciliation that you had both made yesterday. You really hoped that it wasn't something he had done, because you didn't think you could handle that volume of feelings again. 
"With... Lilly... you know... cheated..." she mumbled, avoiding your eyes and looking at the freshly buffed canteen floor. 
"Lando can't cheat if we were never together to begin with," you coldly said, your voice betraying no emotion. For some reason, the word 'cheated' sent a pang of hurt through your body, but you couldn't quite decipher why. 
Maybe it was just the mere idea of Lando cheating on you that sent your heart into a spiral, but there was certainly something about it that hurt. And with Lilly? Ha, that was funny. As if he'd do that... or would he?
Oh here came the doubt, the questioning, the lack of reasoning. Lando would never cheat on you. Never. He was not that kind of guy, and you couldn't even see him thinking of it, let alone actually doing it. But you weren't even together so it didn't matter.
"Oh... I... erm... sorry..." she trailed off, scurrying away from you before you had chance to say anything else. Now you knew why everyone was giving you looks and whispering about you. They all believed that you and Lando were together from the first set of rumours, and now it seemed perfectly plausible that he had cheated on you. Just great. 
In the interim, Lando skulked down the hall, before spotting Maisie just before she reached the canteen. "Maisie!" he called out, jogging up to catch her. The girl's face absolutely fell when she saw Lando, and she was clearly of the knowledge that she was in some deep shit.
"Look, I only know what Lilly told me, OK?" she said, and he could have laughed at how scared she was. 
"Which was...?"
"That things between you and Y/N were rocky, to say the least. Apparently she was too boring, too square for you. So you called Lilly and... you know." Maisie explained. The implication in her words wasn't lost on Lando, and he could feel the hot sears of fury building up in his stomach and spreading through his veins. 
"And you believed it? You really fucking believed a word that she said? Are you seriously that naive?" he grovelled through gritted teeth, really trying not to lose his temper with the cowardly girl in front of him.
Maisie was scared. Terrified, even. "She's my friend... I..." she stuttered, unable to meet his eyes. 
"Well she shouldn't be, get better friends. She is nothing but a lying, manipulative, awful person that you'll be better off getting rid of sooner rather than later," he told Maisie, leaving her awestruck at what he had said. 
Now all Lando had to do was find the single thing that had caused him the most distress as of recent: Lilly.
He had seen her in the canteen, and he assumed that she'd still be there. Pushing past Maisie, he stormed into the room, and you knew he knew. You had instantly jumped to the conclusion that Lilly had been the one to spread the rumours, and now it seemed that Lando was trying to resolve the issue. 
"Lilly what the fuck are you playing at?" he sneered, leaning over the table and towering over her. The smirk on her face looked proud of what she'd done, and it pissed him off even more than he already was, if that was possible.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw you watching him. He knew you knew, and he was going to go to every length that he could to make sure that you weren't upset by this, by her. "Not my fault she was too vanilla for you," she laughed, her friends grinning along. 
"Too vanilla? Are you out of your fucking mind? I'd rather be dead than touch you!" Lando near on yelled, people averting their eyes to him as his voice raised slightly. 
"Not what you were saying last night..." she chided in a sing song tone, and Lando was about 2 seconds away from losing his cool. 
"Well then let me make it quite clear. I would never ever want to be anywhere near you, got it? Now stop making shit up that everyone knows isn't true just because no one actually likes you. Y/N doesn't, your friends don't, no one around here does, and I sure as hell don't," he ranted, and Lilly's confidence faltered. 
He could see the slight expression of jealousy on her face, since she knew deep down that her efforts of being with Lando were proving futile. There was also some semblance of hurt there, since it was never nice to be verbally berated by the boy you had a crush on. 
"And what makes her so special, eh? Her drab personality? The fact that she's a complete suck up? Her lack of friends? Or is it just because she's clever?" she spat back, her tone not lacking that familiar snark that she was famous for. 
"She's a hell of a lot more than you'll ever be. If I hear one more lie come from your mouth, your life around here will be hell," Lando finished, moving across the canteen to go and sit with his friends: who had all been watching the ordeal from afar. 
He hadn't noticed, but pretty much everyone in the year was watching the argument. Even you, sitting at your table by the wall, were dumbfounded. As Lando sat down, you could see how he was trying to seem all cool, calm and collected like he normally was.
But, you could see the faint inklings of his anger still lingering on the surface, and you were sure they'd be there for the rest of the day. You were pissed off too, but you couldn't help but feel a small smidgen of upset too.
You didn't want to be upset, not by Lilly, never by Lilly. Yet you were. That sad feeling that you'd had over the past couple of days was creeping back in, as much as you were willing it to go away so that you could carry on as if this had never happened. 
Cutting through the light chatter, the bell rang out that signalled that you should go to first period. You spent your hour in history not really concentrating on the details of the Cuban Missile Crisis, more on what Lilly had said.
Something about the words ran deeper than they ought to have, and it was like an itch you couldn't quite scratch. "Y/N, who was it that met with Anatoly Dobrynin to secretly resolve the crisis?" your teacher interrupted, pushing you momentarily off the path that your mind was taking you down.
"Erm..." you stuttered, and something that resembled concern flashed in your teacher's eyes. You were normally so on the ball, always switched on and tuned into lessons. But, he wouldn't hold it against you that you were zoned out once.
He had never ever seen you not paying attention, so he'd let it slide. Just before he said the answer, it popped into your head. You seemed to remember reading about it in your textbook once, but it might not have been right. "Robert Kennedy?" you said, and a soft smile found its way onto his face. 
"Yes, well done," he nodded, and you were off the hook for now. You could go back to your little daydreams about everything that had gone on in the morning. Or day-mares. You weren't quite sure. 
First break and second period went by, and you remembered that you said you'd help Lando with his biology. The anxiety that you used to feel about seeing Lando was crawling through you, feeling almost like a hand wrapped around your neck.
You were at the library first, as usual. You didn't have biology today, but you had brought your text book just so you could fill in any of the gaps in your own knowledge before attempting to teach Lando any of it. 
You weren't actually sure what about anatomy he was wanting to learn or if that was just a joke, but you thought it would be better to be prepared. The chair in front of you was pulled out, and Lando sat down with a big grin on his face. 
He was trying to be normal, but he was scrutinising your every move to see if you were OK. "Hey," he smiled, rummaging through his bag to get out his crumpled work book and biology textbook. "So, tell me about that cycle thing," he said, leaning back in his chair and folding his arms, ready to listen to you. 
"The menstrual cycle?" you pressed, since there were many cycles he could have been referring to. Plus, it was funny to see the flush of red on his cheeks and the way the tips of his ears turned pink when he was embarrassed.
Lando may have been a mature boy when it came to your emotions, but he was just like the rest of them when it came to talking about slightly awkward topics like periods. "Erm... yeah. That one." he confirmed. 
"OK, so, what you need to know about are the 4 hormones. You've got LH, oestrogen, progesterone and FSH. FSH causes the maturing of the egg in the ovary, LH triggers ovulation, which is the release of the egg into the uterus. Oestrogen repairs and thickens the uterus lining, and progesterone maintains the uterus lining." you explained, and Lando tried to be an active listener by nodding his head as you spoke. 
"Sure, yeah, I can remember that," he nodded. "You'll probably have to explain it a few times to me, but I can remember that. It isn't so hard," he reassured, but it sounded like he was telling himself more than he was telling you. 
"So from that, try some practice questions, and then we can fill in any gaps after, yeah?" you said, taking his textbook and flicking through the pages until you found the practice questions at the end of the chapter on the menstrual cycle. 
"Yes ma'am," he jokingly saluted, picking up his pen and looking after the questions. "Do you have some paper?" he asked, clearly not having brought any. You just rolled your eyes at him, ripping a sheet out of your notebook for him. "Thanks, you're the best," he winked at you, his eyes moving down to the paper on the table before he could spot you blushing. 
God was he charming. As Lando distracted himself with getting on with the practice questions, you figured you might as well finish your physics homework that you had been given in second period. It wouldn't take you long if you concentrated. 
But it was hindered by that small feeling of anxiety again. Anxiety of being here with Lando. Lilly's words echoed in your head again, and the stab of pain didn't become any less stinging as you thought about it.  
'Her drab personality?' You knew you weren't the most egregiously outgoing person in the world, or the most funny, but you didn't think you were drab, per se. Maybe just reserved. The people that had put the time in to get to know you seemed to find you funny.
Well, Lando seemed to find you funny. That had to count for something, right? You didn't have to be overly loud or obnoxious just to have a personality, but you were in high school, so maybe you did. 
'The fact that she's a complete suck up?' You wouldn't say you were exactly a suck up, you just liked doing well in your lessons, it was as simple as that. You didn't like getting told off, so you did your work, and you did it well. 
The praise brought you a nice little ding of satisfaction, and you didn't really see much reason to act out or not do your work. You had your moments where you had forgotten things, but your teachers were lenient since you were always so diligent. 
'Her lack of friends?' Now that was just inaccurate. You had friends, most of them were people you just so happened to sit next to in your lessons and you hung out on occasion. You didn't hang out with them in school since you liked to knuckle down and get your work done during the day so you could limit the amount you did at home. 
You went out on the weekends, whether it be for lunch or to do some activity that one of them had picked. There was just the illusion that you didn't have any friends, but you didn't expect Lilly to be so observant. 
'Or is it just because she's clever?' The more you thought about it, the more you thought that being smart was the only thing you had going for you. It was easy to look past everything that made you you when you were always getting the best grades. 
A lot of people seemed to omit the detail of your name when referring to you, simply calling you the 'smart one'. It had never bothered you before, so why did it now? Surely though, Lando didn't just like you because you were smart?
Most of the time, you weren't being academic when you spent time together, so there had to be more to it than that. As you got in your own head, your self-confidence was dwindling. Was all of that really what people thought of you?
That you were drab, friendless, a kiss ass, just the smart one? Maybe they had and you had just never noticed. All anyone ever saw you as was clever. The little lonely thing who just studied instead of having a worthy social life. 
That you were destined for solitude with nothing but your textbooks and scientific journals teeming with knowledge. It wasn't how you wanted yourself to be seen, not in the slightest. For a moment, you considered having a full on glow up, complete with the leather pants and hairspray - just like Sandy in Grease.
But that would be a little too much, so you decided against the idea. At least you didn't have long before you could leave that place and never look back. School had never been about the people to you, not until now, anyway. 
Lando noticed that you weren't doing anything, your pen was just hovering over your sheet and it had been for a few minutes now. He didn't know whether you were brainstorming or thinking, but by the look on your face, whatever you were thinking wasn't pleasant.
"Hey..." he softly mumbled, reaching out hand to place on your arm from across the table. He gently shook you, snapping you out of your thoughts. You just looked at him for a moment, your brain taking you back to where you were. 
Right. Studying. Biology. Physics. With Lando.
"You stuck?" you asked, leaning over to glance at the practice questions he had been scribbling down onto the paper. 
"No, you just seem a bit spaced out. You doing OK?" he asked, concern written all over his face. He had a feeling he knew what was going on, and he was nearly 100% sure that he was right. 
"Yeah, I'm good, just tired," you lied through your teeth, and Lando knew it was complete and utter bullshit. His expression hardened, not liking that you were lying to him. He hated it when you lied to him.
"Hey, c'mon, don't do that. Talk to me," he urged, his hand still remaining on your arm as he squeezed it. You stayed silent, not wanting him to take the mick out of you for thinking the way you were. But Lando wasn't having it. "Please? You're clearly upset about something. You can tell me." he pressed. 
"I just... nevermind. It's stupid," you dismissed, picking your pen back up to actually make an attempt on your physics homework. 
"No, we're not doing that. If you don't tell me, then I can't make it better," he carried on pushing. Lando just wanted you to open up to him, to make you see that he could trust you. He wanted to fix your problems for you.
"I... do you think I'm drab?" you asked, and he was taken aback. He took a few seconds, thinking over your question. He hated that you even had to ask him that in the first place. 
"No, course I don't, you're so much more-"
"OK so do you think I'm a suck up? Do you think I have no friends? Is the only good thing about me my brain?" you rambled, and his face softened. He was right. It was exactly what he thought it would be: Lilly's words had gotten to you. 
"No, no. Listen to me," he said, but you were still looking down at the paper and fiddling with the top of your pen. "Can you look at me?" he asked. His mum always got him to look at her when he was upset and she was trying to be reassuring, so he figured he'd try the same approach as her.
"Y/N. Look at me." he said more firmly. The sternness in his tone wasn't like anything you had heard from him, and you didn't know what else to do apart from listen to him and do as he said. You tilted your head up to meet his eyes, the softness hiding behind the hard exterior. 
"You are none of that. Don't let Lilly think any less of yourself. You're not drab, you're a joy to be around. You're not a suckup, you're a hard worker. You have friends, you've got me. And there is so much more to you that just your brain. Sure, it's an incredible thing that I admire about you, but there's more to you than just that."
Now you really didn't know what to say. Somehow, Lando had just said exactly what you needed to hear. Yet it didn't make the insecurity go away, not fully. "But do you think other people think that? Or is Lilly just saying what everyone thinks...?" you nearly whispered. 
"You don't need to care about anyone's opinion. Not everyone else's, not mine, and certainly not Lilly's. The only opinion you should care about is yours," he told you, and that was another moment where Lando showed that he was wise beyond his years. 
"OK," you agreed, and Lando finally removed his hand from your arm. He seemed settled by your agreement, but he knew he hadn't fully convinced you. He'd keep an eye on you and be ready to swoop in and quash any more of that lingered self deprecating doubt. 
"Now, do your physics. We can't have our number one scholar falling behind, can we?" he chuckled, trying to bring some light to the situation. 
"As if you could catch up, Norris," you laughed, finally starting the questions that you had to do. You had them done in ten minutes, and finally the bell went for the end of second break. You and Lando packed up your stuff, ready to head to your next lesson. 
"Hey, can we meet back here for the second half of lunch? I've got some maths I need help on," he asked, and you couldn't say no to him.
"Sure, I'll be here all lunch so just come up whenever," you told him, and he ran out to the language block for French so that he wasn't late. You just had English downstairs, so it was a short walk for you. 
Exactly as he said, Lando trudged back up to the library halfway through lunch. "My French teacher is an absolute bitch. She kept me behind for ten minutes because apparently the way I say 'jouer' isn't French enough for her. We went through pronunciation for ages and said I need to work on it," he scoffed, plopping down in front of you and earning a glare from the librarian. 
"So are we doing French or maths today?" you chuckled, thinking he'd want to do French after his little outburst. 
"I would rather die than have to think of 'qu'est ce il y a dans ta ville' again," he mocked, purposely avoiding trying to pronounce the words right. "We're doing maths. And we're doing polynomial division. Because further maths is kicking my arse at the moment,"
"Sure, sure, OK. Get your book out," you told him, going into your bag to get your own maths book out. You had it last period, so you thankfully had all your stuff to hand.
"You know, I'd be much better at maths if I could sit with you again..." he said, hoping you'd catch onto what he was asking. It was true - his maths was a hell of a lot better when he had you to help him and guide him through it. 
"Are you asking if you can come back to your old place?"
"Yes. Yes I am." he confirmed. 
"Then yeah, I think you're good to move back to your old place," you confirmed, and the smile on his face was adorable. If you were being honest with yourself, you were also missing him in maths. The seat next to you had been left vacant, and you quite liked it that way.
But, having Lando there would've been a hell of a lot better than sitting by yourself. You enjoyed teaching him and it brought you a lot of satisfaction. It was nice to have that sense of fulfillment when you had shared your knowledge to someone, especially when it was Lando. 
 "So what is it about polynomial division that you don't get?" you asked, taking his book from him and looking at the half-done sums on the page.
"I get the first bit about putting x into x cubed, but from there? Nah," he told you, and you could see what he meant. He had gotten past step one, but had completely faltered on the rest of the maths.
"So now you want to times out your x squared by the -4 after the x and put that under there," you told him, pointing to the spot on the page where he needed to put in the multiplied terms and numbers. 
You talked Lando through the rest of the steps and went over a few more with him, before letting him go through a few himself. "Are you OK? You know, after earlier and everything. I don't want you thinking like that about yourself,"
"Oh, yeah, it was just a short thing. I was being silly," you shook your head, and Lando seemed to believe you. 
"Good. And... what do I do from this bit? Minus the 3?"
"No, plus. If you try to minus a minus, it turns into a plus, yeah?" you reiterated, and he instantly remembered the small maths fact. He just smiled at you, and you couldn't quite decipher what the look in his eyes was. It looked like some form of wonder, but you decided that that was just wishful thinking on your part. 
"You're something else, you know that?" he quietly said, and you wouldn't have caught it if you weren't in the near silence of the library. 
"Hm?" you asked, wanting to make sure you had heard what you thought you had heard. 
"Oh, nothing," he blushed, pretending like he was doing his maths while you sat there. Lando mentally scolded himself for the slip up, annoyed that he had let it leave his lips. It was a freudian slip, yes, but he wasn't going to admit that. 
He wanted to tell you again, and he wanted to tell you over and over and over again until you believed it, but he didn't want to push it too far. You had only just gotten back to normal, and he didn't want to ruin it just as quickly as he had gotten it back. 
You both worked in silence until you needed to go to your 4th lesson of the day, yours being Spanish and Lando's being chemistry. "Can I walk you there?" he asked, not caring if he was late for chemistry, he hated the lesson anyway.
"Sure," you agreed, packing up your stuff and walking by his side. Lando wanted to be able to reach out, intertwine his fingers with yours and feel the warmth of your hand. But again, that'd be too much far too soon. 
People gave you dubious glances as you walked through the corridors, and the people going into your class thought it was weird when Lando just stood outside with you when they knew he wasn't in their class. "Have a good lesson, yeah? I'll see you in maths," he smiled, leaning against the wall next to the classroom door. 
"Yeah, enjoy chemistry," you smiled at him, walking in and taking your seat. After spending all that time with Lando, you forgot one teeny weeny detail. You sat with Lilly in Spanish. Great. And the realisation kicked in when she took her seat next to you. 
Dread settled in the pit of your stomach, even if she didn't say anything for the first half of the lesson. The two of you didn't have any reason to talk, so you were perfectly happy with ignoring her existence and getting your lesson out of the way. 
Yet of course, you had to do partner work. The task was simple, it was just testing each other on vocab. One of you would give the English word, and the other would give the Spanish word back. But, it wasn't like you could get out of it or ask to move places, since that would be way too obvious. She didn't initiate the conversation, so you had to be the bigger person and start it.
"Do you want me to ask first or do you want to?" you asked, and she looked at you as if you had just thrown up on her. The disgust on her face was obvious, since she made no attempt to hide it. If anything, she was playing up to make you feel worse. 
"You can ask," she said, leaning back in her chair and folding her arms. You looked at the vocabulary that you had written down in your book, scanning through the different words.
"OK... what is the plot?" you asked, and she sighed.
"Don't know." Oh. So that was how this was going to go. OK, yeah, sure, you got the idea. 
"El argumento. What is the scene?" 
"Don't know." she said, looking bored as ever. She looked like she wanted to say something, but for whatever reason, she was holding her tongue. That wasn't like Lilly, not at all, so you were slightly surprised. 
"It's really easy, come on," you huffed, feeling quite frustrated that she was being so stubborn and pig headed. But it was Lilly, what else were you expecting? 
"Look, Y/N, if it wasn't already obvious, I don't like you, and I'm certainly not going to sit here and play classmates with you, OK?" she said in the way an adult would scold a child. 
"Good, because if it wasn't already obvious, I don't like you either. But I'm not going to sit here and be a bitch about it, OK?" you replied with the same tone, and you spotted the spark that ignited in her eyes. 
Did you slightly regret snapping back? Yes. But was it a little fun? Hell yeah. 
"Ha, please. I'm not a bitch, you're just delusional," she scoffed, rolling her eyes at you. Delusional? How had that come out of your previous sentence? Clearly noticing the confusion on your face, she spoke again. 
"Did you see that little show that Lando put on this morning? He's a good actor, isn't he? Mind you, it is quite pathetic that you believed it." she said, and you dropped your book down onto the table. 
"You and I both know that that is absolute-" 
"He just uses you, you know that? Ever since you've been 'friends', haven't you noticed that his grades in pretty much everything have gone up? He didn't mean a word of it," she spat, and it was like she had read your mind and brought back up the rest of your insecurities. 
She had triggered them earlier, and now she was doing it again. "Not so mouthy now, are we?" she grinned, clearly satisfied with your facial expression. 
You felt the familiar trepidation of seeing Lando next period coming back to the fore, and all you could muster was a simple, "And this is why nobody likes you."
"Lando seems to," she said after hearing your quip, but you both knew it was bullshit. At least that wasn't true. Or was it? You didn't know what was true in regards to you and Lando anymore. 
Did he really just use you to get his grades up? Was that all this was?
Spanish was over after a little while, but you went straight to your maths classroom so that you wouldn't have to see Lando during break. Your teacher wasn't there, so you just sat in your seat to think about things. 
She walked in after some time, you couldn't say how much time you had been sat there, but there were likely only a few minutes left until break was over.  "Y/N? What's wrong? Did something happen with Lando again?" she asked, seeing the look on your face. 
"Not with Lando. Well, not Lando directly, anyway." you mumbled, and she knelt down in front of your desk. 
"You can tell me," she said. Lando had said the exact same thing to you earlier in the day, but it didn't have the same effect coming from her. 
"It's fine, I've got it covered," you said, and she decided not to press the issue further. It wasn't long before the bell went and people started filtering in. Surprisingly, Lando was one of the first to walk in and came to his seat next to you. 
"Lando, to the back," your teacher said, and he instantly knew something was wrong. 
"Miss, it's fine, really," you reassured her, and Lando briskly took his seat beside you. He could tell the energy around you was off, and he was hell bent on getting to the bottom of it. 
Meanwhile, Lilly's words were storming through your head like a runaway freight train. 'He just uses you'. It had been a fear you had held for a while, albeit one that you had convinced yourself of being irrational.
Surely, there was no way he'd do that, right? There was no way he would hug you, drive you home, walk you to class, spend his free time on projects for you if he was just using you. People weren't overly nice to people they were exploiting. 
Or maybe he was just doing it to butter you up, keep you sweet for him. Keep his grades higher. Maybe he had figured out that his niceties got him favours from you, all of which involved help on his school work. 
Maybe he was what you initially thought he was when you first talked to him on that broken down bus. A character. A special version of Lando Norris, crafted just for you. The edition of him that would get him what he wanted in the most efficient manner. 
Maybe, just maybe, Lilly was right. Lando was the star actor, the leading role, the puppet master. And you were simply the one on the strings, dancing to whatever sick tune he played.  
While you were thinking, Lando let some of the lesson go by until you were set off to work on some questions. "What's wrong?" he asked straight up, turning his body so that he was facing you more. When you didn't answer him, he nudged your leg with his knee under the table. "Come on, I know something's wrong. Is it about earlier?"
'No, I've just come to the conclusion that you might be using me' was what you thought, but you still couldn't deduce whether it was just Lilly and your mind wreaking havoc on you, or if it was the uncovered truth.
"Tell me what's going on in that pretty head of yours," he said, hoping to get some form of a smile from the compliment. He would take anything at this point. However, you gave him nothing. You kept your eyes trained on your paper, your pen mindlessly scribbling. 
"Was it Lilly?" he asked, and he saw the slight change in your expression. Well at least he knew something about what was going on with you. Even just the mention of it triggered the familiar, hot prickle of tears at the backs of your eyes. 
Lando spotted you welling up, and he knew he'd hit a sore spot. "Hey, no, I'm sorry for pushing, I'll stop, it's OK," he rambled, feeling panicked at the prospect of you crying. He had seen it a few times, and it was a few times too many. 
He also didn't want you to feel embarrassed by crying in the middle of class, especially not because of him. "You're OK, I'm sorry, it's OK," he tried to soothe as you tried to fight the tears back. 
Lando wished he could just hug you like he had before, since that seemed to take the pain away for a little bit. At least then, he wouldn't feel so useless and like he was just sitting by and watching you get upset. 
All he wanted was to hold you in his arms, make sure that no one else could ever hurt you again. But even then, it probably wouldn't be enough. "It's nothing," was all you could muster out, and something in Lando snapped. 
He was so frustrated, he didn't know what to do with himself. He tried to tear his eyes away from you, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He wanted to look at your pretty face all day. But, he left you alone, returning to his maths. 
Lando couldn't focus though, and time seemed to move unbelievably slowly while he was waiting for the lesson to end so that he could talk to you in a less public space. The bell had rung after an agonising half an hour, but you were too quick for him to catch as you practically ran out of the classroom.ïżœïżœ
He couldn't spot you as you walked through the corridors, since the hoards of people leaving their lessons obstructed his view. Darting out of school, he saw the bus waiting, and he was meant to be catching it, but he didn't care about that right now. 
On the other side of the road, he saw you walking down the pavement with your headphones stuffed in your ears. He had to jog across the road as he was nearly ran over by a van, but that was the least of his worries right now. 
"Y/N!" he called out after you, but you clearly hadn't heard him over your music. That wasn't going to going to deter him, however, as he continued to jog down the pavement and started walking next to you. "Y/N, talk to me," he said, slightly huffing as he finally got to slow down.
"Hm? Oh," you mumbled as you heard him beside you, not knowing what to say. You didn't want to push him away, but you didn't want to be like this anymore. 
"C'mon, tell me, I'm here, there's no one around, it's just you and me," he tried to convince you. Stopping and turning to look a him, he saw the tears welling up in your eyes again, and he still didn't know what to do. 
"You can't just be my friend again, then suddenly stop talking to me and not even tell me why," he ranted, his frustration seeping through his words. 
"Look, I don't think we should be friends, Lando." you said, and he felt like his heart had stopped beating in his chest. 
What the hell had triggered this? Why were you thinking like this? And why wouldn't you tell him what was going on? He hoped that this was just some spur of the moment thing, that you were just upset and acting on impulses.
God, he couldn't take this again. Not again, he wouldn't let you walk away from him again. He wouldn't lose you again. He had lost you once and it had been the worst few days of his recent memory, and he wasn't going to let you slip away that easily.
"No, no, don't do that. Don't do this to me, don't be stupid," he scoffed, waiting for you to crack a smile and tell him you were kidding and that you were just a bit on edge from something or another. The smile never came. 
"Why? Why the fuck are you coming to this conclusion?" he continued, but the tears just started to silently fall down your cheeks. 
"Me being associated with you just brings us both unwanted stress and upset. Your friends take the piss out of you, everyone seems to take the piss out of me and I can't do it Lando. You're brilliant but I just can't do this anymore," you sobbed, trying to walk away from him. 
"No, no, you can't say that and not tell me what someone said to you," he pressed, grabbing your wrist and tugging you back so that you couldn't walk away from him. "I know it was Lilly, but you've gotta tell me what she said to you."
"She... nothing," you stuttered, and Lando's patience was wearing very damn thin. 
"No, don't try pull that bullshit with me, I will not have it. You're going to give me one good fucking reason right now or I will lose it with you," he said through gritted teeth.
"She said that you don't actually want to be my friend and that you just use me to get better grades and it got me thinking and-"
"And what?" he cut you off, "You really believe a word that slimy bitch says? Sure, you helping me with my work is great, I won't deny that, but I spend time with you for you. And you wanna know why? Because I think you're amazing. You're funny, pretty and a hell of a lot smarter than anyone should be." he carried on, and he realised by your facial expression that he may have said more than he was meant to, but he didn't care at this point.
"You... huh?" you said, the words replaying over in your head.  Was he meant to say that or was he still just trying to keep you attached to him?
"I said I think you're amazing and you're more to me than just a tutor. You're my friend. Dare I say one of my favourites because you never take the piss out of me, you're always nice to me, and being around you makes me happy. And you're too smart to believe a word she says." he reaffirmed.
Your eyes searched his face for any trace of dishonesty, any hint of a lie. Yet, it they found nothing. Not a speck of chicanery in sight. He kept saying all this stuff, and it was supposed to be exactly what you needed to hear. Then why wasn't it?
"Were you and Lilly ever anything?" you asked, the question slipping past your lips before you could even find it in yourself to stop it. You didn't even know why you cared - well, you did. The stallion of jealousy was rearing its ugly head, and there was no way that you could suppress it.
You liked him, you liked him a lot. And, even if he had only had something fleeting with Lilly, it still would have upset you. 
"No." he sharply and quickly answered. "Why the fuck would I ever-" he started, before cutting himself off with a sigh. Getting annoyed at you wasn't the best approach, even if you were making it damn impossible not to. "No. No I never and will never have anything with her." he said. 
"But still, people are still awful to me and to you," you whispered, trying to hold back even more tears. 
"That doesn't matter, not to me. I don't give a shit what people think, I just give a shit about you." he pleaded, hoping and praying that you weren't going to turn around and leave him.
Despite the clear sincerity in his voice, you couldn't bring yourself to believe him. As much as you desperately wanted to believe him, you couldn't. You needed to believe him, but you couldn't. 
The worst part was was that you knew the notion was completely absurd, but you believed it anyway. "Please don't do this..." he whispered, moving his hands to hold you at the top of your arms. God, he didn't want you to go. Not again. 
"I'm sorry, Lando..." you mumbled, shrugging away from his grip and pushing your headphones back into your ears. With every step you took, it felt like another stab to his already broken heart. 
Lando closed his eyes, unable to watch you walk away from him. "I thought you were the smartest person I knew, but it turns out you're the fucking dumbest," he called out after you, his voice cracking on the words. 
It was mean, sure, but he didn't care. What he did care about wa the fact that the only girl he had ever had real feelings for was walking away from him, and there was seemingly nothing he could do to bring you back. Nothing. 
A/N - Already 5k into the next part of this, and I'm sorry, I know it felt like it was just getting better. Alas, we're getting there. And happy birthday Lando! He may piss me off to no end, but damn do I love writing about him 💖
tag list: @cheriladycl01 @ln4swiftie @mariedeyes223 @ironmaiden1313 @daemyraforever56
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nothomegal · 11 months ago
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ITS CHRISTMAS EVE (or at least where I live bc timezones) and I would like to gove Pyramid Head smoochies under mistletoe pls 😌
Aww I was having this idea too! And since it's Christmas allow me to bless you with a drawing!...
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...And a lilttle one-shot!
"Mistletoe"
(Pyramid Head x GN Reader)
Warning: suggestive implications by the end, but mostly fluff!
Word Count: 1k
Christmas was always a funny holiday for (Y/N). Either because they never truly felt connected to it or because they haven't felt the 'magic of Christmas' since childhood. Don't get me wrong, they would still put some decorations when they could, but ever since they came to Silent Hill such tradition was lost.
Not like they mind it too much though, they already have the absolute best gift and company they could ever ask for! Just tell me, who in their right mind would be upset about having a nearly 8ft tall demi-god creature as your forever partner? You have to be chronically insane to turn down such blessing!
And speaking of the creature, (Y/N)'s daydream was interrupted when a large hand curled around their arm and stopped them. They shoot a curious glance to their lover, who was already looking at whatever got his attention.
Right above them, placed on the old metallic door frame with, what they suppose is duct tape, were hangign a bunch of oddly shaped pieces of paper. Some pieces where green, others painted green, and all of them where kept together with a piece of damaged red cloth that was tied as a bow.
(Y/N) stares at that weird construction with furrowed brows, really trying to grasp what the hell they're looking at. Pyra was still as well, but his head tilted towards his human as he curiously observes their reaction. Seems like they too have no clue what is this-.
However, (Y/N) manages to make out the shape of it and instantly burst out laughing.
—"No way! No way someone actually made one!"— you say between laughs.
The beast simply observes them, letting out a low wondering rumble. Is that another pointless joke humans have? (Y/N) is laughing hard so it must be something very funny or very stupid.
After the laughter had ceased, (Y/N) takes a look at their monster and suddenly remember what he wanted in the first place. Oh, right. They were supposed to explain what is that.
—"Okay, okay."— you say between giggles as you point at the object. —"That thing over there is supposed to be a mistletoe. Remember when I told you about Christmas and how people decorate that one fuzzy tree? Well, this thing is also kinda a Christmas tradition. People hang it somewhere high and when two step or pass underneath it, they have to kiss."—
While (Y/N) explains, Pyra listens to them carefully. But the second they mention the kiss part, the air between them shifts and becomes... Odd. And Pyra himself still, way too still.
(Y/N) of course feels the change, and is quick to start clarifying.
—"But of course, it's optional. It's not like you're forced to kiss anyone. If anything, I never did! So I suppose this will remain as a silly tradition some-"—
Their speech is replaced by a tiny gasp when the monster suddenly grabs their jaw, gently lifting and moving their gaze where he needed. Their eyes narrow slightly when they noticed a tongue peek out from his helmet and slowly, almost shily, wiggle towards their face.
—"Aww. What a polite guy."— you chuckle as a little blush creeps on your cheeks. —"Well of course I'll give you a kiss."—
Ever since they introduced this new method of showing affection, it wasn't rare to witness Pyra ask for a 'kiss' once or twice. It's kinda funny to see how shy he gets, always taking it slow and giving them enough time to stop or pull away. Do they do that? Nuh-uh! Do they think it feels gross? Weird, yes. But (Y/N) is deranged so it's fine.
The pink muscle soon presses against their lips, and they respond by giving it a kiss while holding it in place gently, totally unbothered by its wet and slippery texture. They could feel Pyra practically melt into the gesture, he does it every time. It's small, but is the closest they can get to an actual kiss, and the intimacy and specialness of it seems to get the beast to his very core.
After some second, when (Y/N) attempts to lean back, a pair of big arms gets a hold around them, cementing them in place completely and pulling them closer to the monster. The said beast lets out a low menacing growl as his tongue licks their cheek and part of the jaw. The message was clear...
M̞͔̔̏̌̊̄o̷͕͒̓͑ͅŗ̷̟̭̝̓e̠͓̔̅̒̋̀.
He wanted more.
Despite the apparentaly hostile growls, (Y/N) showed no intimidation and simply chuckled as they roll their eyes.
—"Someone is feeling frisky, huh?"—
Another, and a bit louder, growl resonated from inside the beast's helmet. His grip around them tightening and the tongue sliding along their lips, almost begging for them to kiss it again.
—"Calm down tiger. We both know if we continue you'll get too carried on."— you coo, sliding one of your hands along one side of his helmet.
He groans with certain displeasure, but his grip soon losens as he slightly tilts his head into their touch, yet he doesn't let go neither.
—"If you're really feeling like doing it then let's go somewhere else. You don't want anyone to see me naked, don't you?"—
This time their answer is no longuer a growl or a sound, but the same pair of big hands lighting their form up and swinging over a broad shoulder.
Before starting to walk however, the monster reaches up and snatches the little paper mistletoe. (Y/N) of course notices that and can't hold back the little laugh.
—"Well well, see you really liked this particular tradition."—
They get no response as the monster resumes his walking. But the small squeeze on one of their thighs was enough proof to know that they got it right and it won't be the last time the see the little item.
After this little interaction, and probably after what's about to come, (Y/N) doubts to ever be able to feel that magic of Christmas again.
However, they realize that they still experienced something new. The magic of the mistletoe.
Is that an actual thing? Who knows.
But it worked on Pyra so it must be a thing, right?
It worked well after all.
...Too well.
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love-of-the-red-star · 2 months ago
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That time I got reincarnated as an Aeon
(Series)
Chapter five: Discovery Channel (In which you find out you have fans)
Warnings: Idk sort of Hi3 lore spoilers? Void Archives is his own warning
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Why the hell did you even bother to think you could fix the absolute red flag that’s the divine key sitting on the chair next to your bed?
The more the Kirschtaria look alike spoke, the more you were convinced he should have been booted off the train. Too bad you couldn’t let your intrusive thoughts win in the meantime— Welt doesn’t know just how worse this guy could get, shared goal be damned.
“Okay so uhh, you were with Welt to fight a bunch of people in the sky right?” You said, trying to go along with whatever the fuck he was saying— it wasn’t like you didn’t know what they were doing beforehand, but it was easier to pretend you didn’t know shit.
“Yes, and we were in luck because Himeko had saved us.” He said, smiling. For a moment you would have been utterly bamboozled but you knew better.
You thanked your new brain that functioned as fast as a supercomputer, because you knew everyone in this train would be dead meat if you were slow.
“I see
 that’s good to know she managed to get to you in the nick of time then.” You told him with a light hearted laugh, you swore that the more he looked at you, the more suspicious he became. If you were going to kick this man off the train it would have to be a vote of majority, but since he wasn’t acting up just yet you were going to postpone that meeting.
He was still on your watchlist, though.
Void Archives opened a bottle of expensive looking whiskey and poured it on a cup, and then another, and handed one to you.
“A toast.” He said, but you heard “An offering of friendship”. It was at least good to know he knew he shouldn’t fuck around with you.
You accepted the glass, drank it and grimaced.
“Not a fan I see.” He shook his head as if to mourn your lack of taste in the finer things in life. But what would he know? He’s a cube.
“I don’t like it, but I can drink it.” The taste of the whiskey burned in your throat. “Tastes a little funny though.” You murmured, Void Archives didn’t react much to your statement and continued to drink til he emptied the bottle.
It took him an hour, but at least the empty bottle signified he overstayed his welcome in your room.
“Let us meet again tomorrow morning, I want to speak with you soon.” He told you before he left.
Good grief, what a creep.
———————————
You never did end up speaking to him, instead heading towards Welt Yang, who you want to vaguely warn.
“I know you knew Void longer than you know me,” you began, but you already know Welt was more likely to believe you than the cube. “But keep an eye on him, he gives me a bad feeling.” Plant the seed of doubt, slowly but surely, so that the damage to the express can be minimized.
“I’ll.. keep that in mind.” Welt inhaled, stiffly nodding at your words as you patted him on the back.
“Great! Also, if things come down to it, you have my say in kicking him off this train.” You grinned, waving before disintegrating into particles as you returned to your original body.
Famous last words to be spoken.
Because five years later, on a Christmas Eve of all occasions, shit happened. And Void Archives was booted off the train like the red Amogus on a community vote.
Was it chaotic? Yes. Was it like a court hearing than an actual community vote? Also yes.
You had plenty of evidence presented, including the first instance you invited him to your room— because what do you know, the whiskey he gave you was drugged.
He did plenty of horrible shit, and even Himeko, poor patient Himeko, had enough.
You felt a little bad for Welt though having to deal with the aftermath, needless to say, everyone, except you, needed therapy on that train.
On the upside, someone better did replace the blonde and that was Dan Heng who joined you a few weeks before Void Archives was booted off the express.
“Well,” you blinked. “That was something.” You said out loud as Dan Heng shook his head. “Sorry you had to meet that guy.”
Dan Heng brushed it off, instead focusing on staring at the Christmas dinner that Pompom prepared for everyone and poked the turkey on his plate with a fork, before properly digging in.
It wasn’t exactly an ideal way to start your holidays and welcoming someone in the crew properly in a celebration, but you supposed it’d have to do.
It was at least one less toxic bitch off the train.
——————
You didn’t expect you’d deal with your own information being displayed in the databank though. Dan Heng wasn’t creepy about it at least, not that he knew you were an Aeon— specifically, the Aeon that ate Akivili (you still feel bad about that).
“Libertas, huh.” You let out a snort as you read your own little book. In there, it was written on how you were discovered, and what you stood for, along with a group that eventually became your followers.
You hummed, thinking it was rather endearing to see the Avgin there as some of your believers. It was interesting on how you got a following, no matter how small, in the few decades you existed in this world.
It wasn’t just the Avgin, there were others who you did not know too who believed in you, and others who you did see when you had peered into planets to see what people were up to.
It was sweet in a way, for them to cling to you for belief as they sought true happiness in the way of freeing themselves and others.
You wanted to keep it that way.
You read into the pages more, finding out what kind of worship people dedicated to your path; there was a statue of you in one city in some planet hundreds of light years away, in another planet there was you in a tapestry, in another you had a statue and a painting inside of a massive church akin to the ones you saw in photos of Rome.
It was a little overwhelming, and you felt a little shy at the recent discovery of all of this.
You closed the book and put it back on its shelf, exiting Dan Heng’s room to ask Pompom for tea after helping them with their chores.
—————————
Unbeknownst to you, Dan Heng knew you were an Aeon— and an Aeon he believed in in some way when he had heard of you in the whispers of the guards in the recent years he’s stayed in the Shackling Prison. It wasn’t exactly difficult to piece things together with the context clues around the place, not to mention, Himeko did end up telling him.
You wouldn’t be angry about it, she said to him. You were apparently rather human-like, and kind.
Himeko wasn’t wrong, and Dan Heng was going to trust that judgement. Is he wary? Yes, you’re an Aeon after all, you were plenty big of a deal.
But Pompom didn’t seem to be scared of you, and Welt spoke to you with a sense of respect. You regarded everyone in this train with a certain familiarity— Dan Heng did feel like you were a bit strange due to the feeling of “uncanny valley” you gave him, but you were kind to him and you were welcoming.
He was welcome in this place, he had a place to stay, and a purpose, as meager as it was.
Dan Heng thinks things would be alright from now on.
————————
Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI (HERE), Part VII, Part VIII
Yeeeee this took a bit!!! Thanks for the wait yall, I know it’s calm rn, but it’ll get rowdy again at some point I promise.
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cdragons · 10 months ago
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Fuck Everything, But Mostly Fuck You - Part 2
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Previous Part, Next Part
Summary: You have never, EVER, in a million years hated anyone the way you hated Felix fucking Catton. But silver linings exist in the sticky toffee pudding Mrs. Gavey made for you.
Warnings- MDNI 18+, Sex, Felix is Felix (a ho), Reader finally eating some good fucking food, Michael is Michael, Farleigh is Farleigh, Oliver is Oliver (a creep), alternating POVs between characters, and author has spent too much time researching Oxford crap for this mess for a crack fic to be a crack fic
Author's Note: BRUH??? HOW DID I GET SO MANY NOTES IN PART 1??? Everyone has been so wonderful and supportive. I received so many questions and comments, which have all been great! Thank you for reading this story, and I hope that this part lives up the first one. Also, this is technically a Christmas fic bc it just fits with the story's timeline. I would like to thank Grammarly for catching all my grammatical errors đŸ„Č, @ethereal-athalia for enabling my crazy ideas đŸ„°, and @valeskafics for providing me Saltburn smut when I catch myself thirsting 😇
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Christmas Eve - Saltburn 2006
“Oh! Oh – y-yes, yes, yes! FUCK!”
Fucking the girl underneath so hard to the point where she likely saw stars. Meanwhile, Felix was trying to finish as soon as possible.
“So big! God, you’re so fucking big – FUCK!”
He brought her to his room and in his bed because he thought her hair just barely matched yours, and if he didn’t think too much about it – her voice sounded a bit like yours too.
But he made a mistake.
The girl – whatever her name was – sounded nothing like you. Her hair was nowhere near as pretty and shiny as yours, and her nails were fucking long and sharp that they were digging for his blood. Her makeup too – fucking hell, it was like she trying out for the opera with how much she caked onto herself.
Every time Felix saw you – whether in the library or under a tree – your nails were trimmed short. And from what he remembered, you didn’t plaster yourself in cheap cosmetics.
No, you never needed to. Your style of choice was simpler and more elegant than most girls he knew, including his sister, Venetia. Granted, he loved his sister to bits and pieces, but the girl loved her spray tan in the winter.
But worst of all – she didn’t have your eyes. Her gaze was too mindless and soft, a mix of adoration and unparalleled lust. Your eyes held vivacious rage and
“Felix?” What’s-Her-Face asked. “You okay?”
Fuck, he was getting soft.
Closing his eyes, Felix knew the only way he would get to finish was to think of you. He thought about the last time he saw you. He remembered how hard the wind blew and how cold it was that night. He felt himself harden at the memory of how alive your eyes were right before and after you broke his nose. His back still had the welts from the blows of your notebook. Every time he saw them in the mirror, he would lovingly stroke each bruise because they were the only evidence that you were real.
That you weren’t just a figment of his imagination.
Letting his mind run wild, Felix imagined you here instead of this imposter. He’d imagine you on top – no way a woman like you would let anyone be on top, not even him. Fuck, you’d be the most wild thing ever to exist, he’s sure he’d let you do anything to him.
His heart, his soul – whether you cared for him or wished to crush him under your shoe – everything of his would be yours.
He wondered if you were the type to be into using a riding crop.
Regaining his vigor with his eyes still closed, he imagined you riding him until oblivion. Your breasts would fit perfectly in his hands as you would still be bouncing on his cock. Your head would be thrown back, and his eyes would roll to the back of his head at the feeling of your pussy tightening.
Oh God, he was going to blow.
Quickening his pace, the girl that wasn’t you was full-on howling in unbridled pleasure. When she climaxed, he could finally let go and come. Ropes of his cum spilled into the condom as he shouted out your name.
Falling to his side, he hadn’t bothered to check if Lady Not You remained in the sheets. It didn’t matter if she did; Felix was too exhausted to care. Finally feeling like he could rest, he fell into a dream about the day he felt his life truly begin – the day he met you.
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First Week of Oxford University Michaelmas Term of 2006
Felix remembered the first time he saw you – it was after the first week since the term began. He and his mates were fucking around in Radcliffe, and the old bag running the desk was having a cow with them. He was bored out of his mind when all of a sudden – he spotted you on the upper level. You wore dark wash blue straight-leg jeans with rolled-up cuffs and white high-top Converse sneakers. It looked like your shirt must have been at least a decade old, given how the black-dyed cotton was faded to dark gray, and the paint looked cracked and chipped. Your thick locks were gathered in a loose but simple braid. Unlike everyone else, your eyes weren’t focused on him – but on the structure and life around him.
He had to know more.
Slipping a tenner to one of his friends to cause a distraction, he used the diversion to make his way to your spot on the second floor. Having a closer view, you were the most vividly gorgeous creature he had ever laid his eyes upon. He was worried that his movement toward you would alert you of his presence, and you would only scurry off – and away from him. But judging by the slight bobbing of your head, you wouldn’t be able to hear him since you were listening to whatever was playing through your earbuds.
All the better for him to keep observing you.
As he inched closer, his eyes caught the tiny wisps of your hair that weren’t contained by your messy braid, creating a lovely frame of your face while also bringing out the shine in your eyes. You had a simple gold chain around your neck with a circular locket hanging. From the side, Felix could faintly distinguish the words “Bon Jovi” in blue cracked paint and “1989” underneath a skull wearing red aviators.
He didn’t know who the fuck Bon Jovi was, but clearly, he was someone pretty fucking important to you.
But what captured Felix’s interest was how engrossed you were with the scene unfolding underneath you. Your eyes very rarely broke away from the view – only to quickly glance at the hardcover sketchbook you balanced on the white-painted railing. Whenever you glanced down at your sketch, Felix could see how long and thick your eyelashes were. Each time you blinked, it was like his mind broke down the movement of your eyelids frame by frame as if he were editing a Garry Marshall film. He wished he could be your cheek at that moment. If only to feel the gentle flutter of your lashes’ touch. Deep in your concentration, your lips were slightly pursed in a way that brought out their luscious fullness.
He couldn’t help but imagine how they would look around his cock. If he came inside your mouth, he was sure that some of his spunk would leak past your lips before you tried your best to swallow it down.
He was so lost in the fantasy of you and him that he hadn’t realized you had been calling out to him. Breaking out of his reverie, he looked down to see you right before him. And you looked downright pissed at him.
“Hey! HEY!” you exclaimed while waving your hand to his face to catch his attention.
You were American. How adorable.
“If you could stop staring at me like a fucking serial killer, I think your ‘mates’ are trying to get your attention.”
You pointed your finger at his group of friends still on the first floor. It seemed that they successfully drove away the grounds' warden. The old bat was now fixated on putting away all the returned or misplaced books on the shelves.
Must have been Farleigh’s idea.
Anyway, back to you.
“Yeah, sorry about that. Hey, can I get your –” but you were gone by the time he turned back to you.
Instead, he found himself alone on the second floor. He quickly glanced around to see if you had just moved to a different area. But you were gone. Racing the stairwell, hoping to catch up to you, he found that you had already walked too far for him to call you out without seeming completely desperate.
Except that he was.
He watched you walk away – shoulders back, posture straight, and head held high – and thought at how utterly unfair it was to him that you walked away from him so beautifully without giving him your number, or at least your name.
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Felix woke up in a dark room; he was confused as to why the maids hadn’t drawn curtains – until he realized that Mum had likely sent them for their holiday after the party was finished.
It's too bad that he wasn’t there to see everyone out like a good son. But he wouldn’t beat himself over about it too much – chances were that his parents were also hungover off their asses too. He didn’t even want to imagine V’s state right now.
Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, Felix dug into his closet to find whatever someone wore the morning after fucking a completely faceless stranger to scratch an itch meant for someone else. In the corner of his eye, he caught sight of a little note on his nightstand. Swiftly plucking it with two fingers, he could barely make out the words written in swirly cursive.
My name’s Cassie. Just thought you should know for next time. Call me: XXXX-XXXXXXX 💋
Felix scoffed before tossing the dingy paper to the floor – destined to be forgotten before the next hour came – before locking himself in the bathroom to take a piss and wash off the smell of booze and cigs off his skin.
By the time he was finished, it was probably close to noon. He would have made his way down to the kitchens to fix something up – but he was immediately met with Farleigh as soon as he stepped out of the doorway. Bastard startled him up so bad that he practically jumped a foot off the ground.
“Fucking – really, Farleigh?” he asked. “Practically gave me a heart attack first thing in the morning.”
“It’s almost one so that ship has sailed.” He quipped back. “Aunt Elspeth and Uncle James were quite distraught when their golden son wasn’t seen by any of the guests when the party ended. It wasn't good when the Carltons’ daughter was gone for almost an hour. But at least she returned to her loving parents’ arms by the time it was to go home.”
Farleigh shot his cousin a curious look.
“You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you? I’m pretty sure her name was Cassandra.”
Felix just shrugged.
“Don’t know about any Cassandras. Fucked a Cassie last night, though.”
Farleigh snorted a laugh as they went to the kitchens to see if any food was prepared.
“Merry Christmas, indeed.”
A few minutes of companionable silence passed before Felix asked his cousin something important.
“Hey, do you think she’s thinking about me?”
“Cassie or Cassandra? Because the answer’s probably yes anyway.”
“No, not them. Y/N, Y/N L/N.”
Farleigh immediately stopped. He genuinely wondered how Felix managed to get into Oxford sometimes. Sure, he was a legacy kid, but the line had to be drawn somewhere.
“You really think,” he slowly began, “that the girl who dragged you out of the library in front of everyone, broke your nose, beat you bruised with only her flimsy-ass notebook – because you ruined her painting – would be thinking about you?”
Judging by the look in his cousin’s eyes, yes. Sighing at the incredulity of it all, Farleigh could only shake his head before finding something to eat and drink away the migraine he could feel was coming.
Watching his cousin walk away from him, Felix knew he thought he was fighting a losing battle. But he wasn’t too worried. Everything would change during the upcoming term. Oxford was its own world – broken away from everything else. All that mattered to anyone in Oxford was this world's history, present, and future. And now – as it was made clear now to Felix – you were also part of that world. He would get to find you again and make sure to bring you to the point where you would look for him the way he would look for you.
Still, a selfish part of Felix hoped that you were even just the slightest bit miserable being away from him as he was being away from you.
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Manchester, December 2006
You were having the time of your life.
Michael invited you to his home in Manchester for Christmas to spend the holidays with his family. You refused, at first, the idea of being a burden to your best friend during a time when it should be spent with family. Michael liked to put up a big front, but you knew that he was just as – if not more – excited to spend Christmas with his folks than you were before the “incident.”
But he insisted, and you could not have been more grateful for the invitation. But you wish you were a tad bit more graceful with your reaction when he first brought it up.
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Oxford Dining Hall December 2006
You were angrily shoveling pasta into your mouth at the time. Sadly, the appallingly bland marinara sauce paired with the overcooked spaghetti and dry meatballs was the university's most flavorful dish.
“Come home with me.” He told you one evening during dinner time at the dining hall.
Caught off guard, you half-choked on the mountain of overcooked noodles in your mouth. Immediately, you reached for your glass of water to wash it down and to prevent a truly horrifically dull death.
“What?” you croaked out.
“Come with me to my house for Christmas.” He clarified, utterly unfazed by your near death. “Come on, you’ve been complaining to me all week about not being able to fly back for the holidays. And no one should have to spend Christmas eating whatever slop they’ll end up serving.”
“Michael,” you began, “I am not going to impose on your family like that. And you seemed to have forgotten one key detail: I can’t leave until I re-do the painting.”
“So, come over after you finish,” he reasoned, “I know you remember what to do, and that already cuts the time you originally spent on it in half. You won’t need a whole month to do it again, so come over when you finish. Plus, you don’t have your other classes to worry about.”
You knew that he was right – he was right about a lot of things – but the offer still made you uncomfortable. Scholarship student or not, you were no one’s charity case. If there was one thing you hated more than being underestimated, it was being pitied by people who didn’t know you. That wasn’t the case with Michael, but the feeling made you feel small.
You hated feeling small.
“That doesn’t change the fact that I would be imposing on your family. Your mom’s a nurse, right? She’s probably been looking forward to your homecoming for ages now. Informing her that she should be expecting a complete stranger, who would be staying for two weeks, would be a huge burden on her. She shouldn’t have that kind of stress burdening her during the holidays.”
He rolled his eyes at your concern.
“Don’t be a drama queen. I already have one in my life, and I’m genetically attached to her. And you’re hardly a stranger. Mum’s always asking when you would be visiting anyway. She’s worried if you’re eating enough or getting enough sleep. She’s a bit looney like that.”
You shot your friend a glare. He was trying way too hard to keep a cool, nonchalant façade. Michael Gavey was a total sucker for his family but in the sweetest way. During the long study sessions that stretched into the night, Michael’s defenses were lowered, and you could get more information about his life and home.  
His mom was a Manchester Royal Infirmary nurse practitioner, while his dad was an accountant at Pearl Lemon. They met at a coffee shop. He was working as a barista to pay off his student loans, and she was a nurse just starting her residency. He wowed her with his terrible jokes, and she charmed him with her infectious smile, and the rest was history. Three years into their marriage, baby Mikey was born, with the addition of his baby sister Lilypad a decade later.
When you remained silent, Michael knew your stubbornness would give him endless headaches. But you were his best friend, the only person he saw worth befriending in the infinite sea of prats and slags that overpopulated their university. You laughed at his shitty jokes, and he snorted at yours. You would try to trip him up with out-of-pocket sums; he’d laugh when he answered them before your calculator. You had his back when some rugby bloke pushed him around, and he had yours when some fake tanned bitch called you a tramp.
“Look, I can’t promise it’ll be anything like your home. I know you miss your mum’s cooking and your dad’s drunk stories. But my parents already made me promise that I would get you to visit because it’s Christmas and no one should be alone and you’re going to die without me here and blah blah blah. Just say you’ll come? Lil’ will murder me if you don’t come. She’s been dying to hear all about the Great Apple and Broadway.”
“
It’s actually called the Big Apple.”
Your comment brought a loud and rather unattractive snort to leave his mouth. And the chuckle that came after brought a small and tentative smile on you.
“Look, are you coming or not?”
You had to admit, the invitation sounded welcoming. You were dying to put faces on the people that made Michael Gavey, well, Michael Gavey. He rarely talked about his family, but his tone was warm and soft when he did. It was such a sweet contrast to the snarky little shit you were used to, and so temptation won in the end.
“
Fine.” You agreed after dragging out the tension. “But I am bringing presents for all your family members, and you have to help me. And any funds that were spent on me are going to be paid back before summer. Got it?”
A true, genuine smile crept across Michael’s face.
“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“
Will I be seeing any baby pictures of you?”
“Don’t push it.”
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You weren’t sure what exactly to expect from Michael’s family – maybe they were wonderful, or maybe the idea of an American that hailed from a city with some of the highest crime rates in the US gave them hives – but you were sure that you wouldn’t be alone if Michael were with you. Safe to say, your expectations were set way too low.
His dad's arms immediately enveloped Michael after you two exited at your stop and the station. You had always assumed most British father figures to be a bit cold and distant, but it seemed that stereotype didn’t apply to his dad. You went in for a handshake but were also caught in a warm hug. You introduced yourself while expressing your gratitude to him and his wife’s generosity.
“Oh no, please,” he insisted, “please call me Greg. Mr. Gavey was my father’s name, and I don’t think I’ve grown that many wrinkles yet.”
When you arrived at his home, it was a medium-sized red brick building in the suburbs. After entering the door and Greg announcing your arrival, quick footsteps ran down the stairs, and a young girl with golden honey curls in pajamas and a pink tutu ran to Michael.
“MIKEY!” she exclaimed. “YOU’RE HOME! Did you miss me? Why did it take you so long? You said your tests were done by the third. It’s the fifteenth today!”
“Lily, Lily,” Michael breathily laughed, “calm down. Of course, I missed you. But I had to wait for my friend because she’s hopeless with directions.”
“That is not true!” you blurted. “It’s not my fault I come from a grid system!”
“Anyway, this is my very good friend, Y/N L/N. Y/N L/N, this is my little sister, Lily.”
Lily turned to you with a big smile and curtsied like a perfect ballerina.
“Hello! My name is Lily! I’m eight, but I’ll be nine in April!”
You almost squealed at how adorable the sight was. You crouched down and mirrored her smile.
“It’s so nice to meet you, Lily! I’m Y/N, and I’m turning nineteen this coming b/m! Your brother here told me so much about you.”
“He did?” she asked with wide eyes.
“He did! He told you how smart you are in math and that you’re an amazing ballerina.”
Lily shyly looked down as a massively cute blush bloomed on her cheeks.
“I wanna be good at sums like Mikey. That way, I can help Daddy with his work like Mikey did when he was my age.”
“Ok!” interjected ‘Mikey,’ cheeks equally flushed at the slipped detail from his baby sister. “Time to find Mum. She in the kitchen?”
“Yep! She’s making roast chicken and mash with peas!” She turned to you. “Is Y/N allergic to anything?”
“Nope!” you replied, “Only dust, but I’m pretty sure that won’t be in the dishes.”
Meeting Michael’s mom – who was absolutely gorgeous, by the way – was another huge highlight of the break so far. Hearing you three entering the kitchen, she immediately turned off the stove and dashed over to hug you and her son.
“Oh, Y/N!” she warmly greeted you. “I’m so happy that you were able to come. Michael has told me so much about you. Have you adjusted well in Oxford? The time difference isn’t putting too much strain on you, is it? You both look so skinny – are they feeding you at all at that school?”
“Careful, Mum. You might scare her off.”
You shot him a mocking glare before answering his mother.
“Don’t be mean! And I think I’ve adjusted well enough to the university. Jet lag wasn’t too much of an issue because my parents made sure I moved into my dorm early and adjusted to the time zone changes before classes started. The food they serve at the dining halls doesn’t compare to homecooked meals, so I haven’t had much of an appetite. But after walking into the kitchen, I think I’ll be able to regain it once I have your cooking!”
“Oh, you are so sweet! I’ll let you get settled. Greg and I cleaned up the guest room for you. It’s next to Lilypad’s room. She’s excited to hear any stories you have about New York. It’s just on the second floor at the end of the hall.”
Walking back to the entrance to grab your bags, you were just in earshot of Michael and his mom’s conversation.
“Michael! Why didn’t you tell me she was so beautiful! I thought she was a model from Vogue when she first walked in! Are you sure nothing’s going on between you two? Should I expect any grandchildren in the near future?”
“Mum!” he loudly groaned as you softly chortled.
Christmas with the Gaveys was so much fun. You played a dozen board games. Michael was a beast in Poker and Uno while you cleared the board with Scrabble and Black Jacks. Mrs. Gavey was a fantastic cook – you couldn’t remember the last time you had any meal that had more than salt as a seasoning since coming to England. You tried sticky toffee pudding for the first time – you almost cried at that first bite. Everyone was so warm to each other and showered one another with so much love. Most of the neighbors watched Michael grow up, and many shared his childhood stories. It reminded you a lot of the Christmases at your parents’ apartment back in Queens.
The community and camaraderie- it was like you were back at home with your family. Your mom would pick up a roast duck from Peking Duck Sandwich Stall in Flushing while you and your dad would go to Eileen’s to wait in line to pick up your favorite cheesecake. The building would have a huge potluck on Christmas Eve, and everyone would bring a dish. Your neighbor, Mrs. Wong, would bring out everything necessary to make her famous dumplings. Everything was made from scratch. You and the kids of the building would learn how to wrap the fillings in the wrappers while the adults made the wrappers and fillings. You would play White Elephant with the other kids on Christmas Day, which usually ended in a fistfight.
You still missed home. You missed your parents and cat. You missed making cookies with your parents because Christmas was the only time when both of them had time off from work. While his school was still on break, you and your dad would take advantage of your mom’s employee benefits and watch a bunch of live Broadway shows.
When your parents skyped you, you cried after seeing their faces for the first time in so long. School was so stressful, and you were starting to regret traveling so far when you could have easily gone to a school so much closer to home. You tried your best to reschedule your flight, but round-trip flights were expensive, and they increased exponentially during the holidays.
You cried for an hour after seeing the prices online.
But thanks to Michael, you felt so much less alone than you would have if you had stayed at Oxford for the entire break. You introduced him to your parents during the call, and they loved him. It was such a massive relief that they liked your friend, especially because of how much his friendship meant to you. When he left the room, your parents basically forced you to ensure he would come with you to stay with you when you returned for the summer. They were shocked when you told them he had never had fresh jianbing or a decent slice of pizza. After the call, you were confident they were making a list of every store and stall you and Michael would visit during his visit.
Classic Queens’ family behavior – showing love by forcing food down your throat whether you like it or not.
At the moment, you were at the window in your room and looking at the moon. It was about three in the morning, and the rest of the household was asleep.
Well – everyone except one.
Michael had crept in about half an hour ago, and the two of you were just looking at the stars. You hadn’t expected to see so many – you could only see the lights from planes and aircraft at night back home. There wasn’t any talking, only comforting silence. The scene outside your window with the fresh snow on top of the rooftops and ground. Each house had a slight outline of their Christmas tree lights shining from their lower windows.
Your fingers itched for your pencil and sketchbook to immortalize it.
Ever so softly, Michael broke the silence while looking at you.
“So,” he began, “how would you rate your first English Christmas in the Gavey Household?”
You looked back at him with the biggest smile that Michael had ever seen on you.
“Ten out of ten. Would pay to see lightsaber reenactment again.”
If there was a God out there, you prayed for the coming term to be as wonderful as this holiday had been for you.
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Suburban Prescot, Liverpool December 2006
In a well-established suburban home in Prescot, a short boy with crystal blue eyes and inky black hair locked himself in his room. The noise and babble from downstairs gave him a headache. He hated his parents. He hated his sisters. He hated being invisible and being from nowhere.
He had to get out of here.
In his backpack, a photo of a specific heir of a manor was safely tucked in the bottom. The new term was going to be different for him. He would make sure of it.
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Tagging: @aemondsbabe, @ethereal-athalia, @arcielee, @asa-do-your-thing, @valeskafics, @axelsagewrites, @the1999kid, @poolnoodlerescuer, @winterblu2, @abaker74, @whereismymindnow, @agustdeeyaa, @iamavailablesstuff, @bonnieblue0606, @st-eve-barnes, @nyxthoughtss
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lovebugism · 11 months ago
Note
being with toxic people on Christmas eve, hurt/comfort with eddie + shy!reader, because this is my situation and I'm projecting 😔
i'm so sorry angel! i hope this makes you feel a wee bit better!! — when being around family gets too hard, eddie makes everything feel easy again (shy!reader, hurt/comfort, friends in love, tw for brief mentions of toxic family, 1.1k)
blurbcember ˚ àŒ˜ àł€â‹†ïœĄËš
December is bitter, glittering, and terribly cold. 
The crisp chill takes your breath away when you storm out into it. It burns your lungs and scratches at your chest like a living thing with claws. When the initial shock of wintry dreariness fades, you take your first deep breath in all day.
You feel somehow less alone out here by yourself than you did inside your own house. The falling snow keeps you company in a way your family never could. The empty, faint pink sky drapes over you like a fuzzy blanket. 
You think you’d rather freeze out here — in the peaceful, early-winter melancholy — than step foot back home.
You walk down the gravel path of the trailer park with snow crunching beneath your feet. The sound is soft and hollow and pleasant. The piling crystalline dampens your sneakers as your legs move on their own. Muscle memory at its finest. 
You gravitate towards the Munson trailer without thinking twice ‘cause the safest thing you know is waiting for you there — standing on his snowy front porch, smoking a cigarette, and shivering under a thick flannel coat that’s obviously older than he is.
A quiet smile lifts the corners of your mouth when you see him. 
Eddie’s winter-kissed features twist in concern at the sight of you, all alone and in the dark. “The hell are you doing out here?” he asks in place of any real greeting, breath leaving his rosy, chapped lips in a thin white cloud. “It’s freezing!”
You know this. The cold is impossible to ignore. You were just too eager to get out of your house, too eager to get here, that you forgot to notice how much your frigid limbs were aching.
“I wanted to see you,” you confess in a tiny voice, as light as the falling snow sticking to your hair and sweater.
Eddie’s chest swirls with warmth. Suddenly it’s summer, and everything’s golden instead of navy blue and bitter. With a sudden longing to close the distance between you, he says, “Get up here before you freeze to death.”
You climb up the steps of his porch without a word of complaint from your mouth. You gravitate towards him like he’s the sun, a bright yellow thing that makes the winter seem less dreary. You ache to be near him just the same, to hold him with your frozen hands until you’re warm again.
He reaches for the lapel of his coat, and you think he might take it off for you — swaddle you in its warmth like they do in the movies. Despite the swarm of butterflies the thought stirs in your stomach, you’d rather him keep it on. You don’t want him to suffer just because you forgot to put on a jacket before rushing here.
Only Eddie doesn’t take it off. He keeps it on and ushers you closer with a silent nod of his wild head. He wraps you up in it with him — with his palm on your back, his curls tickling your forehead, and his heart against your heart. 
You bury a final sigh of relief into his Corroded Coffin tee, thankful to be in his arms. He soothes you with the familiar scent of his musky cologne, heals you with the kindness of his touch. He opens suns inside your heart and makes you forget how cold you used to be.
“What happened?” Eddie asks, chin bobbing against your head. He snuffs out his cigarette on the small ashtray on the wooden railing, then swipes a hand over your hair to brush off the snowflakes sticking to you. “Why aren’t you at home?”
You make a vague I don’t know sound, muffled into his chest. “I just needed to be outside for a second,” you say finally, so soft your words get buried in the whistling wind. In a strained and fragile voice, you tell him, “It’s so loud back home.”
Eddie knows that’s not totally the truth. You didn’t leave in such a hurry that you forgot to put on a coat just because it was loud. You decided it was more important to risk freezing on your way to him than stay where you were, so it must be more than you let on.
Eddie doesn’t pry, though. Just holds you tighter.
“Yeah, I know what you mean,” he says in a sympathetic sigh.
You can hear music playing from inside the trailer — Steve Miller Band, you think, or maybe Lynyrd Skynyrd. Uncle Wayne loves both, and their rhythmic guitar shakes the walls of the old house accordingly. The Munson clan’s closest friends and family manage to shout over it all, mixed with loud laughter and something warm. 
It doesn’t sound as mean as the shouting you’re most familiar with.
“How long do I have you before your folks start hunting me down?” Eddie asks, lips curled into a smile against your head.
“As long as you want,” you answer with a sad laugh. “No one’s coming to look for me.”
Eddie nods despite his stinging chest and sways you gently back and forth.
“Good. I wanted you all to myself— It’s what I asked for for Christmas, actually.”
You snort a disbelieving scoff.
“I’m serious!” he insists with a loud laugh. You feel the rumble of the boyish noise against the apple of your cheek. “I put the letter in the little Santa mailbox on Main Street and everything!”
“Well, I’m glad I could make your wish come true,” you joke with a conceding sigh. You pull slightly back from him, only enough to see his face. You find him smiling down at you, a pink grin that shows all his teeth. Beautiful. Warm. Sunlit.
You try to smile back. It’s a little too forced and ends up looking like a wince.
Eddie’s face twists in concern. Still smiling, just a little softer now. “You’re okay, right?”
You nod at first. ‘Cause you feel like that’s what you’re supposed to do. Then you realize it’s Eddie, and you shrug. “Now I am,” you answer finally, quiet in your subtle confession.
His rosy grin widens. “That is very cheesy,” he teases with a twinkle in his dark eyes. He squints them a second later. “You’re not flirting with me, are you?”
Your face burns hot as you laugh out loud. “No!”
“Well, that’s unfortunate,” he jokes, pouting now.
“Shut up.”
He shrugs. “I just thought we had something going here.”
“Are you flirting with me, Eddie Munson?”
“Of course I am!” he blurts with a laugh you can feel in your chest. “I’m surprised it took you this long to notice.”
You figure he must be joking, so you shove him away with a halfhearted hand. He pulls you back into him with gentle fingers wrapped around your arms, and you let him — resting your cheek against his shoulder with every intention of melting with him.
There’s something innately sweet about his presence. His warmth. This closeness. And this silent sense of understanding you share. 
You don’t want to think about what you’re running from anymore. 
You’re just glad you ended up here.
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mazikeenhyde · 3 months ago
Text
Less than a Minute - Part 4 - Final
WARNING – 18+ ONLY – MINORS DNI
PLEASE UNDERSTAND THIS FANFICTION HEAVILY COMMENTS ON DEPRESSION & SUICIDE. This is your warning if you are easily triggered! 
A Poly!Judgment-Day fanfiction containing themes and mentions of DEPRESSION, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, LONLINESS, PANIC ATTACKS, SMUT (GIRL-ON-GIRL), ANGST, SADNESS, ALCOHOL, HOSPITALS etc 
READER X JUDGMENT DAY – POLY – Rhea, Damien, Finn, Dominik x READER- Written mainly in first person view (Reader Female) 
 Italic font – flashback, speech or memories
Word Count -4,167 +
Less than a minute – Part 4
04:40am – December 26th, 2023
“Fucking birds
” I muttered to myself as I dragged my feet to the bathroom. I had never been a morning person; I had never been one to leap out of bed at the crack of dawn and seize the day! And I certainly wasn’t the one who suggested we take a family trip out to the middle of nowhere to spend Christmas in the countryside where there were quite literally hundreds, no scratch that bloody thousands of God damn fucking birds singing in every bush, shrub and tree for miles. Not to mention that stupid fucking rooster from the local village farm that thought now was a great time to warm up its voice, clearly preparing itself for a debut at the local karaoke chicken barn. 
“Stupid fucking birds cocka-doodl-fucking-dooing at stupid fucking four am in the fucking morning” I ranted quietly as I ran my toothbrush under the sink and started brushing my teeth. I could see my reflection in the mirror, what a sight! My hair looked like someone had dragged me backwards through a hedge to have their way with me, to be fair, that remark wasn’t too far from the truth. I dare not go downstairs for the fear of seeing the mess that needed cleaning up. Between the five of us we had polished off 4 bottles of champagne, half a bottle of vodka, two bottles of red wine and I don’t think I want to recount just how many tequila bombs Finn had magically made appear. And in turn we had all made disappear. Top the night off with a very
. messy? Group jacuzzi dip and hey presto, A hangover from Hell. 
I could feel my head lightly spinning as I closed my eyes holding onto the wall for support whilst continuing to clean my teeth. I had become a pro at composing myself the morning after the night before, I knew the drill and how to stop it from getting any worse. 
Brush Teeth 
Pint of water 
Pain killers 
Close the door and avoid all human interaction for the foreseeable future 
Swear to never drink again 
Remind yourself these rules are a load of bollocks, and you never learn. 
Christmas day had been incredible and the matching fleecy pyjamas we had all gone to bed in were the cherry on top. I mean they didn’t fully stay on for long
 but it was the thought from Dominik that counted. Rhea and I in little candy cane vest top and shorts and the boys each with long legged fleecy trousers and t-shirts also printed with little candy canes. Too sweet for words and apparently far too irresistible to tear off each other. 
I peeked my head out the bathroom window and smirked at the sight. Some abandoned pyjama pieces both inside and out the jacuzzi were all that remained out there of a very memorable, but fuzzy night. It was still dark out, but the sun had begun to make an appearance, so a very soft warming glow was ever so slightly lighting the horizon. The countryside really was beautiful in the winter, frosted windowpanes and a festive chill in the air really made it feel like Christmas
 Well boxing day now. 
As I continued to clean my teeth, I looked back at myself in the mirror pulling my hair into a messy bun.
There it was.
 I could see it there
 for a moment. 
That pain hiding in my eyes. 
 I could see it.
 I could feel it.
 I had been running from it for some time now and I had hoped if I just pushed myself, if I focused and didn’t think about it, maybe it would go away. How naive I was to think life was ever that kind. Why was this happening, everything is good, everything was okay. I’m surrounded by love, by compassion, by happiness. This can’t be happening. But it was, it was happening. 
The world around me began to fall, the room echoed away, and the bells began to ring. As if nothing existed around but me
 and the fear.
I held the sink tightly, balancing the toothbrush between my teeth. “No
No
Come on... Come on” I whispered, gripping the basin tighter and taking a sharp short breath. I could feel my heart beating out of my chest, the pace ever growing and the room around closing in. Why was this happening. Why?!
 I held back the tears that were threatening their escape and turned the cold tap on, spitting out the toothbrush and flushing my face with the water in attempt to ground myself. 
Quickly turning I closed and locked the bathroom door behind me and ever so silently I slid myself down the door frame till I collapsed into a hunched ball on the cold tiled floor. 
For an hour I sat there. Alone. In silence. I didn’t say a word. I didn’t move a muscle. I barley even blinked. I didn’t shed a single tear. As if I had dissociated from all reality, I felt as if I didn’t even exist. Did I want to exist?
------------------------------------------------------
As quickly as it came, it went. Standing to my feet I quietly unlocked the bathroom door and crept back into the bedroom. Sprawled out across a rather incredibly large king size bed lay a bundle of entangled limbs. Finn lay with one arm hanging off the bed and a Santa hat pushed back across his hair. Dominik’s head tucked up under his arm with one leg wrapped over Rhea’s waist and the other above the duvet. Hidden underneath the mullet was the dark locks of a miss Rhea Ripley whose black lipstick had been smudged down the side of her cheek. Smirking to myself I remembered having her face buried between my thighs under the Christmas tree while the boys played beer pong in the kitchen, unbeknown to them that us girls were sharing a little late ‘Christmas’ gift.  
“Quickly!” Rhea said softly under her breath as she laughed taking my hand and sneaking away from the kitchen where Damien, Dominik and Finn had set up the dining table in order to begin a beer pong tournament. Slightly spilling our drinks in the hallway, we snuck our way into the opposing front room and closed the door behind us. The little cottage we had rented was a truly beautiful masterpiece, it stood in a huge field with no nearby neighbours. Exactly the kind of place you would want to escape to when you and your partners live life in the eye of the ever-nosey public view. 
Rhea took my champagne glass from me and set it down with hers as well on the wooden unit before turning to face me. An ever so cheeky smile she grinned, showing off that enticing black lipstick and long lashes that had never failed to pull me into her grasp. 
Running her right hand through my hair she raised her left hand and reached over trailing her fingers up my bare thighs, I shivered to her touch. Her grip tightened as she took a fistful of my hair and pinned me against the wall opposite a rather stupidly positioned Christmas tree. My breathe hitched in my throat as her lips positioned themselves mere millimetres from the dark red lipstick across mine. 
“Hola Bunny
.” Rhea spoke oh so softly, leaning across my chest and into my ear as she released her grip in my hair whilst moving my hands to position them above my head. 
“Don’t. Move.” She stated and slowly she crouched down removing my shorts before throwing one of my legs over her shoulder and pulled my red laced panties to the side with her other free hand. 
“Feliz Navidad” She smirked, winking up at me before rolling the cold stud in her tongue through the folds between my legs and planting a soft gentle kiss on my clit. 
“Fuckkkk.” I whimpered, desperately trying to keep my hands above my head as her tounge moved back, ever increasing her speed as she caressed my sensitive bud between her teeth. Moving my leg slightly higher on her shoulder she slid two fingers inside of me and began to pump as her lipstick smeared its way across my wet pussy lips and I felt my legs shiver. Harder. Faster. With no mercy. Rhea was rough, her nails dug into my pale skin and her persistent tounge dug ever deeper, hunting down the orgasm she so desperately wanted across her face. A knot began building inside my stomach as the muscles in my thighs tightened and I shifted my weight onto her before gripping onto the first thing I could reach. 
“Fuckk, Fuckk, Rhea... oh godd” I pleaded as my entire body tensed and a part of me panicked at the idea of losing this feeling if I couldn’t find my balance. 
Pinning me against the wall with her hands, her face, her entire body weight even she gripped my one lose arm that had fallen from above my head to lock me in position whilst my other free arm had latched itself onto the Christmas tree for dear life, now no longer standing straight in its metal stand. The lights on it flickered on and off as we both shook, unable to hold our positions still. 
Rhea pounded into my aching pussy with her fingers as her tounge stud bullied against me, I could feel the sweat begin to drip down my neck and into my cleavage as I panted, and my heart threatened to break from my chest. Rhea gripped my body so tightly tipping me over the edge and the orgasm she had worked so hard for spilled out across her face, ruining what was left of that perfectly placed lipstick liner. 
The boys wouldn’t have actually ever known what we were up to if I hadn’t forgotten I wasn’t exactly standing with two feet on the ground. Instead relaxing for a moment, Rhea shifted her weight off me, and I went to move but ended up toppling the Christmas tree over on top of us. 
A loud crash echoed through the cottage, along with the familiar sound of smashing baubles (a sound that came with a reminder from when we had once trusted Dom to unwrap the Christmas decorations, I reckon 8/10 of them he had either dropped, stood on, misplaced or knocked off the tree completely) and the fairy lights short circuiting from the plug coming out the wall. 
The door flew open and in ran Finn and Dom who didn’t look half as shocked as Damien looked gutted to have missed out. 
“Are you okay?!” Finn and Dom said in Unison. 
“Where was my invite!?” Damien demanded looking down on a half undressed and slightly exposed me whilst Rhea ran her hand around her lips enjoying what was left from the actions from before and smirking towards the boys before winking at me. 
----------------------------
Damien laid face down into the bed on his chest with his entire body laying ontop of the duvet, I wondered if he had passed out like that or if he just liked showing off his bright green and red stripped ‘Mr Grinch’ pants. Either way, that was one fine ass. The devil on my shoulders first word of thought was to bite down it, mark my territory you could say. But the ever-increasing hangover told me otherwise and the opposing angel buried that idea quickly. Had Damien put me across his knee for misbehaving I wasn’t entirely sure all the alcohol was going to stay down with the impact. Ever tempting as it may have been. 
Instead seizing my opportunity, I gently tip toed over to the bedside and climbed over to position myself between Damien and Rhea. Snuggling myself under the duvet and into his embrace he was quick to join me and turn over taking in a deep inhale of my hair, kissing my head and quickly falling back asleep. 
I wished we could have paused the clock there. Time could have stood still, and I could have never felt safer than in the arms of the four people who made my heart feel so full. Can’t have it all though can you, secretly I knew that. I knew that this was just the beginning of my downfall. I never would have known how bad it could have gotten. 
Who knew when you hit rock bottom, there’s a basement that follows. 
The sounds of the hospital filled every inch of the waiting room, the persistent beeps and alarms ringing from every was enough to drive anyone mad. 
“For god sake, he was bought in by an ambulance no more than 20 minuite ago?! How can you not know where he is, that’s your job isn’t it!?” Finn slammed his fists down on the enquiry desk as an old miserable nurse stood staring at him. 
“As I told your
 “ the matron cleared her throat “Partner, we don’t have anyone here under the name Master Dominik Mysterio?” 
“Christ, Gutierrez! Not Mysterio
 idiota!” Priest shook his head before turning back to a recognisable figure walking towards them from the hallway. 
“DOM!” Priest shouted as he grabbed Finn by the shoulder and they both rushed over as Damien grabbed the boy and pulling him into a tight embrace. 
“Ow
” Dom whimpered as Finn lept into the hug. 
“What the hell happened love!?” Finn pulled back grabbing Dom’s face, checking him over for any sign of injury or illness. 
Dom shook his head and shrugged his shoulders, “I uhh, I” but he was interrupted by a doctor that was walking up behind him. 
“Panic attack, as I was trying to explain to you Mr. Guiterrez before you demanded to leave ” the doctor  looked up at the towering figure of Damien and smiled at the Irish man clinging onto the hand of his patient. 
“Are you two his carers?” The doctor questioned 
“Something like that
” Damien replied as Finn smirked. 
“OI!” Dom said still rubbing the back of his head. 
“Paramedics said that the hotel staff had found him unconscious in a hotel room, we believe he has hit his head as he had some concussion symptoms. But he’s refusing treatment, says he has somewhere he needs to be?” The doctor questioned them. 
Finn’s phone pinged and pulling it out from his pocket he looked down to a message from Rhea. 
“Not somewhere, were trying to find someone! And I’m fine, I don’t need looking after” Dom tried to explain. 
“Dom, shh. Listen to the doctor” Damien interjected before Finn tapped him on the shoulder showing him the message from Rhea. 
“What is it?” Dom asked trying to peer over Damien’s shoulder, quickly realising he wasn’t exactly tall enough.  
“We have to go, Doc we take full responsibility for him, Scouts honour!” Finn stated and took Dom’s hand rushing out the door, Damien followed hastily behind. 
“You need to
.” The doctor called after them, but it was too late.
“Sign the discharge forms.” He sighed and put the clipboard down on the enquiry desk, raising an eyebrow at the nurse who had been dealing with Finn’s outburst. 
“Men
” She stated and turning on her heels she walked off in a huff. 
----------------------------------
A familiar voice bought me back to reality, those all to recognisable tears I had only heard once before. They sounded so broken, so heartfelt. It was Rhea. Holding me tightly on the steps of the city library where I had sought out the silent solitude it had always offered. If you cannot speak in the library, then no one could ask me what was wrong. 
I had only ever heard her cry with such emotion once, losing her nonna had caused such a devastating blow to her and that pain never truly leaves you. The one time we as humans wished we could turn off that emotional switch and feel nothing at all. 
I wish I could have felt nothing in that moment, because how I did feel was not fair to her. It wasn’t fair to any of them. It wasn’t fair to me, but I couldn’t hide that truth. it was how I felt. 
I resented her. I hated her. Why was she here. Why had she found me. Why did I have to feel this way. 
Throwing myself up and out of her arms I lept into the dark street and stared back at the bewildered face of the woman I had grown to devote myself to. I couldn’t see a way to live my life without her, without any of them. My heart would never truly love anyone again the way the love for them I had, fed into my soul. I depended on them for my survival. 
“Bunny please...” Rhea lept to her feet standing just a few feet from me in the road, reaching out her arm, hand outstretched. Her voice breaking from the cold and fear as she went to speak again but I interrupted her. It was as if something inside of me set off the dynamite that tore down the walls I had built up for so long and every last piece of vulnerability drowned the streets around us, refilling the puddles that had saturated the roads. 
“NO! STOP! Please Rhea! No, shit no! Why!? Why are you here! Why can’t you understand!? CHRIST. WHY DOESN’T ANYONE UNDERSTAND!” I screamed and ran my hands over my face and through my hair clawing at my neck. I could barely breath, my lungs were on fire, my chest so tight. My entire body was soaked to the bone and frozen. Lips chapped and sense of reality fading fast.  The anxiety inside me was fuelling a fire that was quickly spreading out of control. 
“I want to
” Rhea tried to reason with me, her voice soft, fragile. 
“I want to understand, Y/N please, just, talk to me. We can work this out, you and me. Just us
 Look
” She turned her head signalling the space around us. 
“It’s just you and me. It’s okay
” She spoke gently taking a step towards me. 
That Panic set in. 
“Don’t you fucking come near me, don’t you
 don’t you fucking come near me!” I screamed. She didn’t deserve this; she had shown me nothing but love. Yet I had no control over it anymore. Like a tornado destroying everything in its path, this storm was out for blood. 
“CHRIST, what is wrong with me! What is wrong with this world, what is wrong with this
 this fucking, this bullshit! Everyone on it, no one understands. It’s like a prison
 I feel, I feel like. Like I can’t breathe!” I grasped at my chest backing further away from her. As if a thousands rubber bands wrapped around my lungs, I was suffocating.  
“Talk to me bunny, just talk to me. Whatever it is, we can fix it?” Rhea begged, she tried to reason with me. 
I stared at her blankly. I knew this was going to hurt. 
Fuck it. 
“It’s you.” I said. 
Cold. 
Blunt. 
To the point. 
“It’s all of you.” My words were empty. As empty as I felt. 
Rhea had nothing, no words. Nothing to say, no way of understanding why it was like this. 
I had broken down, I couldn’t hold back the heart ache, the tears, none of it. I was an empty shell of myself, and every emotion poured out with every word. 
“Every day. Every day I wake up, every day I wake up and I have to live. I live my life and then I go to sleep. Every day I am surrounded by the love you all give; I am surrounded by the happiness and the joy and the compassion that is gifted in the promise and security of the devotion we have for each other. The smiling faces of people passing by on their way to their boring jobs, their boring families, to pay their shitty boring rent. I stand here now knowing all this, knowing I am privileged to be living a life filled with more love in every second of every day than most people see in a lifetime.” I fell to my knees, unable to bear the weight of the world on my shoulders anymore. 
“So why is it that every day when I open my eyes, when I look in the mirror, when that second of silence between a conversation hits, the first thought in my head, is how long is left?” I gritted my teeth, pouring out my heart to the world. 
“Is it wrong to hate you, to resent you all so much. I feel such spite. I despise the love you all have for me because selfishly, I know, I know I can’t stop. I can’t kill myself. I can’t kill myself because that wouldn’t be fair. Not to you, not to the boys, not to my family or friends. The most important decision of my life and I don’t even get to make it” I looked up at Rhea with blood shot eyes. 
“I don’t want to be unhappy anymore. I don’t want to be here, but I don’t have a reason to feel this way, and I don’t know why I do.” 
Rhea threw herself to the floor around me and pulled me in tightly, I felt the bones in my back click and my chest restricted as her grasp tightened around me to the risk of never being able to let go. 
No matter what now, she was never letting go. 
I didn’t fight her anymore. Id given up fighting it. 
Instead, I shielded myself in her embrace. Kissing the top of my head Rhea rested her chin on me, despite both being frozen I could feel her warmth breaking through. 
“Y/N...” Rhea gently spoke looking deep into my eyes. 
“That’s called being Human. And its shit. Its fucking shit, it’s unfair and its cruel. That’s why you don’t hide this away. You don’t try and fight a war all by yourself.  You are more loved than you will ever know bunny! And whether you want it or not, its there. It will always be there, and we will always be here.” 
Rhea took her hands around my face and pulled me in, so our foreheads connected. 
“Were in this together, you and me. All of us. The boys too. Remember bunny, It’s not for forever. It’s just for now.” 
As if something clicked, something unexplainable. Something spiritual in the moment, the world disappeared from around us, every element meant nothing except the two of us. Right there, the most important moment for us in all of time and space. 
“You just keep going, for just one more minuite.” Rhea whispered under her breath. 
For a moment it felt like time stood still, and the world had fallen silent in the honest truths that had been spoken. 
Not for long though, for the sound of silence was broken by screeching tyres. Headlights illuminated our silhouettes and as if from out of nowhere a large rental truck slammed its brakes on coming to a stop. 
The car door flew open and out fell Finn, scrambling to his feet he stood up with one hand on the door as his eyes widened, mixed with relief and with fear. His eyes were bloodshot, red and exhausted. 
“Y/N?” he sounded shocked. 
Rhea turned her head to face him and smile, but that relief on her face quickly changed to confusion. 
“Finn? Where’s Damien? Where’s Dom?” 
He didn’t answer her. Standing in silence as if he didn’t know how to respond to a question he very well knew the answer to. 
I turned my head to face him, looking around for two people who weren’t there. 
“Finn?” I looked up at him, trying to hide the worry in my eyes. 
Letting out a gentle sigh Finn smiled and turned his back around as the back passenger door to the truck opened slowly as Damien stepped out, gently removing a sleeping Dominik from his lap and resting the boy against the car seat. He leant against the car door smiling at the two of us sitting in the middle of the road. 
Rhea turned her head to face me and pulling my viewpoint to hers she looked deep into my eyes. 
“Come on Bunny, Let’s go home”.
“Home?” I questioned her.  
“Home.” She smiled, “We are going home.” 
122 notes · View notes
anyarose011 · 7 months ago
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Too Late To Turn Back Now {Angus Tully x Reader}
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Summary: A dislocated shoulder, an insult to end all men, a few lies, going out to eat, and an unwanted revelation about Angus Tully. What a perfect way to celebrate Christmas Eve-Eve.
Part 4 of ?? (Masterlist)
Warnings: Swearing, descriptions of arm injury, mentions of underage drinking, minor harassment, and discussion of cancer.
This was one of the more lighthearted and fun as hell chapters to write, so I hope you all enjoy it!
Word Count: 5.0k
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Apparently, Angus Tully had gone on another adventure without you. One probably shouldn’t call it an adventure if he went to the chapel, and merely stared at the photo of your dead friend for hours on end.
“Do you think he was praying?” You asked Mary after she told you that while you were helping her make lunch.
“I think he’s just as religious as you.”
You scoffed. “He’d never become a priest.”
“You’d make a lousy nun.”
“I’d be a fun one.”
Once the four of you sat down to eat, your father tried to give you cookies you knew for a fact were given to you by Miss Crane. You also knew they were a week old at this point. Still, to spare your father’s feelings, you broke off a piece. You then put it in your mouth, nodding with a smile before bringing your napkin to your lips as if to clean them, when really you just spat the cookie into it.
Immediately, Angus asked to go to the bathroom, and you knew he wasn’t doing that, but you couldn’t blame him.
“I’m trying.” Your father shrugged, and all you and Mary could do was laugh.
You helped her was the dishes after that, and went back out to the dining hall, still seeing your dad sitting at the same table, alone.
“Everything alright?” You asked.
“Yes, just waiting on Mr. Tully.”
“You honestly can’t force him to learn today.” You scoffed, leaning against one of the chairs. “It’s Christmas Eve-Eve.”
“You always had lessons on Christmas Eve-Eve, and you didn’t complain.”
“I did.” You laughed, rolling your eyes. “Several times.”
He sighed. “I’ll let him out early by an hour; if you attend as well.”
“Never mind, let him rot.”
“I thought so.” He got up from his chair. “Where on God’s green earth is that boy?”
You watched him leave through the doors Angus took ten minutes ago, and as you were about to go into the kitchen to (lovingly) bother Mary some more, you heard shouting. Now of course, you were (and still are) a nosey bitch, so you had no choice but to also go through the doors leading out into the hallway. You heard Angus first.
“There’s nobody here, okay? Just us two losers, a grieving mom, and your-.”
His face and words fell once he saw you enter, and your father turned to see you standing in the doorframe, looking as if you wandered into something you shouldn’t have. Then, you threw on the attitude.
“What am I now?”
He looked away. “Nothing.”
“Oh, wow!” You began with fake enthusiasm.
“I didn’t mean-.”
“-No, no of course you didn’t.”
Your father stepped in. “That’s enough from the both of you. Mr. Tully, I can forgive you for using the phone without permission if-.”
“-If what?” He interrupted. “No, let’s cut the shit: You stay out of my way, and I stay out of yours.”
Of course, your father had detention slips in his back pocket, and of course he threw one up. “That’s a detention.”
Angus pushed past him, groaning and walking fast down the hall. You pursed your lips. “You really showed him.”
“Stuff it, Lady Macbeth.” He scolded, then called Angus. “You just earned yourself a detention, sir. Now, get back here!”
Angus looked back. “Being here with you is already one big fucking detention!”
“Son of a bitch, that’s another detention!”
In response, Angus knocked over a trash can, which caused your father to run like you’d never seen him run before. You should be ashamed that your first instinct was to laugh, but you weren’t and you still aren’t.
You should also have felt like a fool for deciding to run after them as if it were a game. Again, you didn’t feel like one then, and if you were to do it again as an old woman, you would in a heartbeat.
You saw as Angus tore off posters from the wall and would stop at corners just to taunt your father. Then, after running around more than half the school (you had no idea how much honestly, but it was enough for you), you stopped outside of the gym with the both of them. Even with Angus’s back turned, you knew he was contemplating the unthinkable.
“Don’t you even think about it, Mr. Tully.” Your father warned, panting from running. “You are a hair’s breadth from suspension. I’ll wash my hands of you, you hear me? Wash my hands.” Angus ignored him, stepping into the gym.
You followed your father as he kept going. “Stop right there, you know the gym is strictly off limits. This is your Rubicon. Do not cross the Rubicon.”
Angus took one look at the gym equipment, then back to the two of you. “Alea jacta est.”
He winked at you before springing towards the trampoline, bouncing off of it and over the balance beam. When his body landed with a hard ‘thud!’, you and your father were stricken with tense silence.
Which was then broken when an inhuman scream ripped from Angus’ throat.
Still, as your father looked on in horror, you said (being completely unbothered). “He’s faking it.”
When his screams didn’t subside, and you only heard them grow louder and he threw in more explicate language, your smile fell. It was when he got to his knees did you see how mangled his left arm looked, and you felt like you were going to throw up.
Angus Tully was one step ahead of you in that department, and that’s all we should say about that (not that he nearly puked on you; if anyone ever says that, they’re lying and should be shot on sight).
So, that was how, on the afternoon of Christmas Eve-Eve, you came to be standing outside of your father’s shitty 1964 Nova. You and Angus, who was crying while wearing half of his jacket, were shivering violently, waiting for your father to scrape off the car.
“Hurry up!” Both you and him would beg.
“I am hurrying!” Would be your father’s only response, and you saw his face grow redder every time either of you would yell.
Luckily, he managed to (somehow) scrape it all off and you three piled into the car. Even though you were going to anyway, you father insisted you sit in the front (more than likely because he knew you and Angus would probably try to kill each other in a high tense situation, and who would’ve figured he was right).
“I was on thin ice already.” Your father panicked at you as he stepped on the gas to the hospital. “If Woodrup finds out, the facts won’t matter, he’ll make it my fault.”
“It is your fault!” Angus cried from the back of the car, trying to hold his mangled arm up. “You were supposed to be looking after me!”
“I told you to stop!”
“You said you washed your hands of me!”
“No, I meant it metaphorically!”
“Of course you meant it metaphorically. What were you gonna do, actually go and wash your hands?!”
Your father turned back to the road. “Unbelievable. Unbelievable, I said I will wash my hands, never once did I say it in the present tense!”
“I don’t know, Pontius Pilate.” You shrugged. “This Jesus guy makes a good point.”
When he hissed your real name, you nearly shrank into your seat. “I don’t need any more of this from you. You were the one to tell me he was faking it anyway!”
“You said that?!” Angus yelled. “Jesus, I knew you hated all men.”
“Not true.” You turned around to look at him. “I would’ve said the exact same thing about a woman, especially if I heard her screaming from your room!”
Out of all the times you made a man cry and left him speechless, this one was and forever will be your favorite (obviously he was crying from his arm, but you liked to think your comment also did that). Your father scolded you for your foul mouth, but it was 100% worth it.
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There you three sat in the emergency room, waiting for over an hour for a nurse to let you in, when your father started monologuing to himself.
“This is the end. They’ll inform the school, who will inform your parents, and then it’s curtains. You’re gonna get me fired; you.” He looked at Angus, then you. “I hope you like sleeping in the snow, Josephine.”
“I love it more than life itself.” You rolled your eyes.
Angus grumbled. “I’m the one about to lose an arm and all you can think about is yourself.”
“Hey, he was worried about me.” You pointed out.
He turned and glared at you, and you actually felt bad for the first time that day.
A nurse soon approached you, handing your father a clipboard and pen. “If you could just fill this out, please. Admissions and insurance.”
Your father, hesitantly, begins to fill it out. It sounded like a joke at first, having to sleep somewhere else, but honestly what were you going to do? You and your father lived in the faculty housing ever since-.
“-Excuse me?” Angus asked the nurse as she was walking away. “Is there any way we could skip this whole insurance thing?”
“It’s just standard procedure.”
“I understand. But look, we were over at Squantz pond playing hockey, and I slipped on the ice.”
Your father whispered. “Angus, what are you doing?”
But he kept going, glancing at you for a moment. “Our mom told him not to take us, but I made him. Our folks are divorced, and we don’t get to see each other very often. She’ll be mad as a hornet if she finds out.”
The nurse still didn’t let up. “Okay, that’s your business. But we just have certain protocols.”
“Yeah, protocols.” Your father tried to warn.
Angus didn’t listen to either. “Please, we ever get to see my dad. It was my fault, all mine. I don’t want to get him in trouble.” He looked at you. “We can’t have her dragging him to court again.”
You shook your head, swallowing a pretend lump in your throat. “No. Last time was
oh god.”
He looked back at the nurse.  “Can we skip the whole insurance thing? We can pay cash. Right, Dad?”
What a sucker; it took you and Angus to do ‘Kicked Puppy” eyes for a minute, and she was brining the three of you in to the see the doctor in three.
When they were removing his shirt, they told him first look away from the arm, but they didn’t inform you.
“Is it that bad?” He asked upon hearing your audible disgust.
“Not the worst thing I’ve seen in a hospital.”
Your father slugged you, but not hard enough for it to hurt. Still, the whole thing was a blur as they popped Angus’ arm back into its socket. It was dislocated, not broken, and a part of you selfishly wish that it had been just to spare you from the disgusting noises. That and also Angus’s screaming, as if you hadn’t been objectified to that enough.
The three of you were leaving after Angus' arm was tied in a sling, when your father spoke up.
“Barton men don’t do that.”
“Do what?” Angus asked, readjusting his sling.
"Lie."
“Well, I had momentum.”
“Mhm,” he looked at you. “what’s your excuse?”
You shrugged. “I don’t go to Barton, and I’m not a man. Thank God, by the way, considering I hate all of them.”
Even though you said that sarcastically, neither of the men said you were wrong.
When you three made it to the pharmacy, and your father handed over the prescription, the pharmacist went to search for it. Angus lowered his voice, saying to your dad.
“You said that if Woodrup finds out, you and her screwed. So now he won’t find out.”
“What if your parents ask?” You questioned.
“Never going to happen. Trust me.”
Your father raised his brows. “Okay, then. This all remains entre nous. Got it? You know what entre nous means?”
“Oui, monsieur.” He smirked “Now you owe me.”
“Owe you?” Your father gasped. “Do not try to leverage me, Mr. Tully.”
“All I’m looking for is little thank you that I did something nice for you. That’s all.”
You shrugged, deciding you wanted a treat too. “It is Christmas Eve-Eve.”
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Your father took you all out to ‘The Winning Ticket’; the classiest tavern within 50 miles. Classy being the less dingy, place in Barton. As your father and ‘Friend of Some Sort’ had a minor debate on underage drinking, you saw the last waitress you wanted approach.
“Miss Crane, as I live and breathe.” Your father sounded amazed as if he saw Aphrodite herself. “What are you doing here?”
“Oh, hi guys!” She laughed “Yeah, I always pick up a little extra work over Thanksgiving and Christmas.”
“Well uh,” he gestured to Angus. “This is Mr. Tully.” Then to you beside him. “And this is-you already know my daughter.”
“Yes,” she nodded. “quite well. My niece knows her too if you can believe that.”
He laughed a little louder than he should have, and you wanted to crawl under the table and bang your head against the metal support until you split your skull open.
“Oh, and sure, I know you.” Miss Crane nodded to Angus.
“Angus Tully,” he smiled. “we met outside of Dr. Woodrup’s office. I was wrongly accused of blowing up a toilet.”
“Well, I didn’t know about the ‘wrongly’ part. I just know that miss Hunham talks a lot about you when she visits.”
Aaand now you wanted to just take any of the silverware off the table (even the spoon would work) and stab yourself.
“Does she?” He teased.
You were quick with a comeback. “About how ridiculously annoying you are. I was baking cookies and Elise nearly crawled into the oven because the things I said about you were just too horrible for her to hear.”
“Now be nice.” Your father said.
“When have I never?”
The three of you ordered (after another discussion about alcohol and underage drinking with Miss Crane this time), and it did not escape you or Angus how your father’s eyes were still on her even after she left.
“Ouch,” Angus smiled. “you two have chemistry.”
“That’s the Percodan talking.” Your father pointed out.
“I don’t know, seeing her like this, I think she’s pretty attractive.”
You gagged, not even having the will to come up with a good comeback, you were so disgusted. Thankfully, your father had one.
“Listen, you hormonal vulgarian, that woman deserves your respect, not your erotic speculation.”
You never gave it much thought; your father dating women after your mother died. He just never truly seemed that interested in anyone, and he said it himself, he never goes out. Still
while you do want him to be happy, the woman of interest is your best friend’s aunt-.
Angus pursed his lips. “May I at least go to the bathroom? Sir? “
“You mean the payphone?” Even when he saw Angus’ eyes darken, your father still was not stirred. “Jo March, accompany him, please.”
You sighed. “Why do I have to be his keeper?”
“Because I, Pontius Pilate, washed my hands of him, remember?”
With that being said, you walked with Angus over to the bathrooms, and waited outside with your arms crossed like a child being punished. After a few minutes, he came back out, and the first thing you asked was.
“How’d you lie so easily?”
He gave you a look. “When?”
“The hospital.” You clarified. “You came up with a whole story on the spot that was so convincing, you had a nurse wrapped around your finger within a minute.”
Angus shrugged, beginning to walk away. “You were honestly the icing on the cake.”
“Oh, thank you.” You spoke with sarcasm, following him. “But honestly, you-.”
“-Are you any good at pinball?”
Okay mister ‘Trying to Change the Subject’, you’d play this game (literally and figuratively). “Yeah, I think so.”
He grabbed two dimes from his pocket. “Wanna bet?”
“I guarantee you that’s all the money you have, so there’s nothing to bet.”
“Not exactly.” You both wandered over to the machines. “If I win, you owe me something, and vice versa.”
“And if I wanted you to get out of my life?”
“Done and done, but only If you win, which you won’t.” He put the dimes on top of the machine a guy was playing on.
“Sorry, kid. Next game’s taken.” The many said.
Angus furrowed his brow. “But I just put some dimes down.”
“Don’t care. My buddy’s up next.”
“That’s not how it works.”
“That’s how it works in here. Why don’t you go shoot the other fuckin’ machine?”
“Because I don’t want to shoot the other fuckin’ machine.”
You put your hand on his non-injured arm. “Angus, it’s fine.”
Before he could retaliate, the man lost the game, sighing. “Thanks for fuckin’ up my mojo. Kenny! You’re up.”
“Bullshit.” Angus shook his head. “I put my dimes down, so we’re up next.”
“What was that?” You both looked and saw ‘Kenny’, a drunk man with a hook for his right hand. Shit
 “Hey, kiddies,” he snapped his fingers at the both of you. “my eyes are up here.”
His friend snorted. “Look at these fucking kids; spoiled little Barton boy and his prissy girlfriend.”
Not the first nor the last time you were a smartass to a man where it will almost get you killed. “I’ll have you know, gentlemen, he is not my boyfriend; he is the reason I hope every day I become an only child.”
“You know what?” Angus stepped in before Kenny could respond. “You can just take my dime.”
“Take it?” He taunted. “You want me to take your dime? Like it’s charity?”
“No, what I mean is, we could play together.” and let this be known that Angus Tully was not always great at thinking on his feet. “Yeah, you could be my left arm.”
“The fuck did you just say to me?!”
Flinching at his tone, you decided to actually use your brain, for once. “Oh my gosh, I think I hear Dad calling us.” You took Angus’ hand without thinking. “Come on Fitzwilliam, you fucked everything up as always.”
You didn’t care that two, pissed off men were following and yelling at you, you didn’t even care that you were holding Angus’ Tully’s hand and having him trip over his own feet as you pulled him back to your table, you just needed to get out of there.
“Papa,” you call out to your father. “can we go please?”
He hummed at your arrival (and the term of endearment, which you only use if something has gone array).  “Why?”
“Our favorite asshole got us in trouble.”
“Hey!” Kenny shouted at you and Angus. “Why’d you run off? We were just talking to you. Do they teach you manners at that school?”
Hook for hand be damned, your fight or flight instincts kicked in when he put his hand on Angus and you were about to be the reason he’d lose it. Then, Miss Crane stepped in.
“Kenneth, leave them alone, they just came in for some food.”
Still, he looked like he was about to charge the both of you.
Your father stepped in next. “Kenneth, is that right? I don’t doubt that he did something to offend you. It’s his specialty. Perhaps I could purchase you gentlemen something to imbibe, and we could let whatever this unfortunate incident is go the way of the dodo.”
“The what?” The first guy playing pinball asked.
“The dodo,” Angus said. “it’s an extinct bird.”
“What he’s trying to say is,” Miss Crane translated. “he wants to buy you guys a beer.”
It didn’t take long for the two men to consider it. Kenny nodded. “Yeah, okay.”
“Same here.” His friend agreed. “I’ll have a Miller.”
“The champagne of beers.” Angus smiled, nodding.
It was when everything final cooled down, and as the two men and Miss Crane left to get their drinks, did you notice you were still holding Angus’ hand. Which you let go of as if you were holding fire in the palm of your hand.
He went back to his moody self after that, as you were walking back to the car after finishing dinner (no connection of course).
“Why’d you buy those guys beer? They’re assholes.”
Your father shrugged. “That’s one way to look at it. Here, catch.”
He tossed him the keys, which he caught. Your father continued his lecture, walking ahead of both of you.  “How many boys do you know who have had their hands blown off? Barton boys don’t go to Vietnam. They go to Yale or Dartmouth or Cornell, whether they deserve to or not.”
Angus glanced at you. “Except for Curtis Lamb.”
“Except for Curtis Lamb.” Your father repeated his words when they stood outside the car.
“Were you ever in the military?”
“Yes, I tried to enlist in ‘41, but was rejected-I have to get in over there.” He said after failing to open the door on the driver’s side. He walked over to the passenger’s (which you begrudgingly allowed Angus to have this time) side that Angus unlocked. “They made me an air raid warden. Gave me a whistle and everything. Helmet. Arm band.”
You opened the back door and slid into the seats, but Angus stayed outside, asking. “Before we get going, can I be candid with you?”
Your father already was used to that question from you, so he didn’t even look scared when he hummed his approval.
“You smell.” He got into the car. “And it’s really noticeable toward the end of the day. I even smell it on your coat. Mind if I crack the window?”
He didn’t even wait for his response before rolling the window down anyway. Before you could say something snarky to defend your father, he spoke first. “Trimethylaminuria.”
Angus furrowed his brow. “Huh?”
“Trimethylaminuria.” He repeated. “Means my body can’t break down trimethylamine. That’s the smell. And uh, yes, more toward the end of the day.”
“Wow
your whole life?”
Your father nodded.
“No wonder you’re afraid of women.” Angus said your name, glancing back at you. “How did he marry your mom?”
Your jaw dropped, and only inaudible noises came out at first before you settled on. “I’m too sober for that conversation.”
“For the record,” Your dad interrupted, stunned. “I am not afraid of women, and you shouldn’t be asking a girl personal questions after insulting her father. Jesus.”
Angus nodded. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. Dr. Getler says I should give more consideration to my audience.”
“Who’s Dr. Getler?” You asked.
“My shrink.”
Your father decided to jump in. “Has Dr. Gertler ever tried a good swift kick in the ass?
He scoffed. “Okay, now your turn. Go ahead, tell me something about me. Something negative.”
“Something negative about you?”
“Sure, just one thing.”
“Just one?” You and your father questioned.
He nodded, preparing for the absolute worst, but it never came. Your father merely turned back to the front, started the car, and began to make the long drive back to Barton. You weren’t even out of the neighborhood when Angus then asked.
“Fitzwilliam?” He looked at you. “What kind of name is that?”
Your father snickered. “That’s what you called him?”
You shrugged. “The guys thought he was a stuck-up rich boy, but he’s really awkward and looks like he wants to kill himself every time someone looks at him, I had to.”
“He strikes me more as a Hamlet.”
To anyone who didn’t know anything about Shakespeare, that would be a compliment. To you and your father specifically, it made you laugh. Of course Angus Tully would be one of the most overdramatic characters in theatre.
“Seriously,” the boy in question said tiredly. “who the hell is Fitzwilliam?”
Your father shook his head. “My advice, Mr. Tully? Brush up on the classics; Pride and Prejudice would be a good place to start.”
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None of you had the strength to do much more that night besides spending time in your rooms before bed. It was as you were a few chapters into Little Women, did you wonder.
“Why were you and my dad yelling at each other this afternoon?”
Angus looked up from his copy of Popular Mechanics to see you in the doorway once you asked that question. You both were both just wearing your pajamas and socks; outfits you had only seen each other in for either a short number of times, in dimmed lighting, or with jackets over.
It felt different this time
stranger, even.
“Hello to you too.” He greeted, setting the magazine down.
“Well?”
Pursing his lips, he didn’t look at you at first before saying. “I was calling a hotel.”
“Your mom’s?”
“No, one in Boston.”
“Why would you
?” The look on his face said it all. That look of regret and pity that you didn’t understand what he meant right away. “Oh
”
You wanted nothing more than to have said it with disgust, but it was disappointment that laced the word. Then, with a mix of anger and even hurt.
“Am I that insufferable to be around?”
He shot his head up. “What? No.”
“Seems like it.” You scoffed, beginning to pace around the room. “What happened to ‘Friends of some sort’? I asked you if we were fine because I felt like you’d gone quiet, and you said we were. I get it; you asked me to tell you the craziest thing that happened to me, and I should’ve just said ‘I got slightly drunk at a party’, not everything. You barely tell me anything about yourself, and then I just go and throw out the shittiest things that have happened to me. It’s not fair, and I’m sorry-.”
“-My father’s dead.”
Nothing could’ve gotten you to shut up faster.
It caused you such a shock, that you sat down on the bed beside him, staring at him. His gaze changed in a matter of seconds; when he first told you and you looked at him, you’d never seen anyone surer. Then, as shock settled into you, discomfort did for him. You let the quietness between you linger for a moment, terrified of your own response.
“I
I had a feeling.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
You were expecting him to immediately respond, but he didn’t. You debated on just sitting in the silence, or crawling back into your room and pretending this didn’t happen, when Angus finally spoke up.
“I was thirteen, he was
really, really sick for some time but then it just happened so fast and
I don’t really like talking about it, I’m sorry-.”
“-No, I shouldn’t have pressured you-.” You relented first, and ff the circumstances weren’t bleak, it would be funny how you both spoke over each other.
“-You weren’t, you told me something about yourself and I should’ve-.”
“-You aren’t in debt or some bullshit to share anything with me-.”
“-I just haven’t really told people that before-.”
“-Your arm wasn’t the worst thing I saw in a hospital.” You decided to break the loop, and it was successful. “My mother was sick too and
” You chuckled, but felt tears prick your eyes all of a sudden at the thought. “God, she’ll haunt me for this, but she was so skinny the last time I saw her
Cancer. She and my dad were debating on if I should see her like that before she goes, and I won the argument in the end that, yes, I needed to say goodbye. I’m glad I did, no, that’s not what I think of when I think of her but
it scared me. I was eleven.”
He nodded, listening without interruption; a skill that seemed he only acquired during these small moments of vulnerability. Well, you wouldn’t necessarily call yourself vulnerable; you were merely answering his questions truthfully based on your experiences (of course; no vulnerability whatsoever. You didn’t open yourself up to others outside of your father and Mary, why would you to Angus Tully?)
“I went to the chapel before anyone else woke up and I just couldn’t stop staring at the picture of Curtis Lamb
I can’t even say it got me thinking about death or anything like that I just
I don’t know.” He shook his head. “I felt weird and wanted to run away.”
“I get that.”
“I’m sorry for trying to get a hotel by the way,” he apologized again. “if that matters.”
You gave him a smile. “It does.”
For the first time in a while, you thought you saw him smile too; a genuine one, mind you, not the shit-eating grin he often gave you and everyone else. It was then you decided to get up and head to bed, bidding him goodnight. Then, again, you stopped in the doorway from another thought.
“What were you going to call me?”
“Huh?” He perked his head up.
“When you were crying about being stuck over here for Christmas?” You alluded. “You and my father are losers, Mary’s a grieving mom, but what am I?”
His eyes drifted in thought, then back to you. “‘Your know-it-all daughter.’ That’s what I was gonna say.”
“Yeah,” you nodded, smiling as you backed out into your room. “I do know all, Angus Tully.”
You couldn’t see his face anymore when you went to your bed, but you heard his sarcastic ‘Goodnight’ with him saying your full name, and your chest felt lighter than it did the night prior to talking with him.

What the hell was happening to you?
You were giddy, you giggled to yourself about nothing and had to hide your mouth under the blanket so Angus wouldn’t hear you in the other room. For a moment, when asking him what he would’ve called you, you wanted him to say ‘pretty’. So much shit happened that day, but the one thing, the one thing that your mind goes back to is taking his hand, and not letting go until you realized-


No

No

Oh, what the fuck?!
Oh god!
Once you were happy about having a newfound crush on Angus Tully, and now you were in absolute agony.
What a wonderful way to spend Christmas Eve-Eve.
174 notes · View notes
rip-quizilla · 4 months ago
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Impossible to Hate You ~ Part 7
Pairing: Eddie Munson X fem!Reader
Summary: The perfect date, the perfect gift
Word Count: 5.2 K
A/N: Appropriately, this is being posted on the eve of Christmas in July! Eddie & Ace deserve this dose of fluff after almost a year of pining for each other. I hope you enjoy it! Who knows how long the warm fuzzies will last...
Divider was created by @hellfire--cult ❀
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6
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Part 7
Winter, 1983
Eddie couldn’t remember the last time he had argued with himself to this degree.
He knew it was probably strange that he did most of his thinking in the shower, but there was something about standing stationary as hot water pelted his back and shoulders that put him in an almost meditative state. His inner monologue lectured silently in his mind as his fingers worked sudsy shampoo through his wetted locks. 
On the one hand, he had finally admitted to himself that he liked you- like, really liked you- and asked you out on a date for that reason. His heart was doing a little happy dance just thinking about it- he’d asked a girl that he had a crush on out on a date, and she’d said yes! This had never happened before! He should be celebrating!
And yet, on the other hand, the side of himself that remembered the vow of platonicity that he’d taken when your friendship had just begun was furious with him right now. He remembered why he’d promised to put his friendship with you above any other
 developments that had the potential to happen. He still remembered how it shook him to his core to see Alan and his harpy girlfriend stare at you as if you were prey for their sick entertainment. It was selfish of him to be willing to put your reputation on the line simply because he couldn’t keep his feelings in check. 
Eddie wanted you- that much was obvious. But he also wanted to keep you safe. 
 When he shut off the water, the sudden silence in the room made Rick’s words from last year echo in his head even louder- “Don’t tell me if she asked, you wouldn’t be all over that.” Eddie had laughed the question off, assuming there was no point in answering because there was no way you would ever ask in the first place. No way in hell a smart girl like you would ever go for a guy like him.
Eddie toweled himself off in front of the small vanity mirror above the sink, looking himself in the eyes as he grappled with the truth that he was still struggling to believe. She likes you. He thought to his reflection. She thinks you’re smart, she thinks you’re funny, and most importantly, she thinks you’re worth a damn. He shook his head softly, still barely comprehending it himself. Are you really about to pass on a chance like this because you’re scared you can’t protect her?
Eddie Munson had never been lucky. He’d never been someone that good things just happen to. Any good thing in his life had been taken, borrowed or earned. No blessing was ever gifted to him for free. 
Until you came along. 
Your friendship had only begun because you’d seen things in him that only a select few in his life had ever cared to notice- you looked at him and saw someone who was kind, protective, intelligent, creative
 a good person. Even Eddie couldn’t decide if he was good or not sometimes, but he always strived to be. No teacher, no friend’s parent, no adult that wasn’t directly related to him at least had seen that either, not for a long time. 
But you saw him. Your family saw him. For crying out loud, when he couldn’t even get his own father to claim him as his pride and joy, your parents were actually proud of him. You made him feel like he belonged. 
That realization solidified his decision. Life had handed him a really, really good thing when it dropped you into his life and he was not about to run away because he was scared he wouldn’t measure up. 
He deserved to let himself have something good. 
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“What time did you say he’s picking you up again?”
Robin’s voice was muffled, knee-deep in the mess she’d made of your closet. 
“Eight,” you repeated for the third time since you’d both woken up from your impromptu sleepover on the couch, bleary-eyed and squinting at the idle blue television screen that had appeared hours ago after the final credit of The Dark Crystal had rolled.
“Perfect!” said Robin, “That should give us long enough to pick the perfect outfit for
 whatever Eddie Munson plans for a first date.”
“Robin, it’s eleven thirt- OOF!” You were cut short by a dress that hit you square in the face, followed by a sweater and a pair of boots being shoved into your arms by your best friend.
“Try these on, I know it’s cold but you could layer
 Do you know if you guys will be outside?”
“He wouldn’t plan something outside, would he?” you asked, suddenly concerned. “I mean you don’t think he’d take me, like, hiking, right?”
Robin snorted. “If Eddie tries to take you on a little stroll through the woods in the dead of night, all bets are off. Get the hell out of there, mission aborted.” 
You couldn’t help but laugh. While there were probably some people in Hawkins who really did believe that worrying Eddie Munson might drag you to the woods at night to sacrifice you to some dark god or something was a valid, rational fear, you knew better. Eddie was a lot of things, but outdoorsy he was not. 
Before you knew it, you’d joined Robin in your closet, taking dresses, jeans, blouses, and boots in your hands and laying them out on your bed in different combinations. You compared each outfit against the other in a drawn out game of trial and error in pursuit of the perfect look for your date tonight, pausing only for snack breaks and to change the tape that played from your cassette player on the dresser. 
Brushing off the events of yesterday was easy when you thought about what was looking up for you- you were going on a date tonight with Eddie Munson. This was what you’d been hoping for since the spring! Good things were happening for you. 
In the light of so much good, it was pretty hard for you to focus on the bad.
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Eddie stood on your doorstep, hands shoved in his pockets to shield them from the cold. Now that Hawkins was deep into December, a frosty layer of snow blanketed the surface of the ground, and the air still held just enough chill to preserve it for days on end. He freed one hand just long enough to deliver seven decisive knocks to the front door.
Dun-dun-dudun-dun
 dun-dun.
Your heart rate doubled its pace when you heard it; you took a steadying breath before squeezing the handle of your front door and swinging it open.
For a moment, time stood still. You both knew you should say something, should do something
 but all you could do was take in the sight of each other, still shaken with disbelief that tonight was really happening.
Eddie wore all black, which wasn’t uncommon for him. Though he seemed
 cleaner, somehow. Like he’d made an effort to hand pick the nicest black pieces in his closet. The only pop of color he wore was a red wool scarf wrapped haphazardly around his neck. It rested snugly under the collar of his leather jacket, and you remembered how the smooth lining felt against your skin the last time you’d worn it. It made you want to feel it again.
Your date for the evening eyed you up and down, awestruck by you for what felt like the thousandth time this year. You and Robin had settled on a flannel pinafore dress, paired with a turtleneck and thick tights. You’d concluded that the outfit was just the right compromise of pretty and practical, given the frigid weather and the fact that you had absolutely no idea what Eddie’s itinerary was for the evening ahead.
You smiled, a warm ray of light in the frosted dark as you took your red pea coat from its hook by the door. “Hi.”
“Hi.” Eddie’s face brightened in the light of yours. Funny how that always seemed to happen.
“So, uh
” You murmured, shutting the door behind you. “What's the plan, Stan?” 
Eddie raised an eyebrow. “Stan?”
“Because it rhymes with plan.” You fiddled with the buttons of your coat nervously. “Plan, Stan
 Sorry-” you huffed, eyes flicking down as blood rushed to your face. You hoped he couldn’t tell. “-I don’t know why I’m so nervous.”
“You’re nervous?” Eddie snorted. “My palms are fucking waterfalls, why do you think my hands are in my pockets right now?”
You giggled, still jittery from the nerves bolstered by the cold. “You’re just saying that to make me feel better, you never get nervous.”
“Oh yeah? Wanna feel?” he teased, shoving a cold, clammy hand against your cheek. You squealed, slapping at his hand as your face scrunched up with mock disgust. Before you knew it you were both laughing, and all was right with the world again- his joyful snicker nestled perfectly against your giggle-turned-guffaw. It was like riding a bike, the way the two of you fit together perfectly. 
“Don’t be nervous,” you whispered, gently leaning into his shoulder once you caught your breath, “It’s just me.”
Eddie leaned back, his weight finding equilibrium with yours between your shoulders. “And it’s just me.” 
“Just us.” you whispered, tipping your head to meet his shoulder for a moment. Eddie’s heart might have been racing still, but if hearts could get runners’ high
 he was pretty sure it felt like this. 
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Eddie refused to tell you where he was driving you, only that your destination was about thirty minutes out of Hawkins. When he finally pulled into the parking lot, the look on your face was completely worth it. 
“Santa’s Light Farm?” you read from the lit archway composed of what looked like two giant candy canes as he pulled the van into the drive. Eddie took a moment to take in your awestruck expression before throwing the gear shift into park. “Eddie, I don’t think I’ve ever seen this many Christmas lights in my life! How did you find out about this place?”
“We used to come here when I was a kid,” Eddie said, unbuckling and killing the engine before hopping out of the van and jogging to open your door before you got the chance. He continued as he helped you from your seat, “Long time ago, like
 last time I was here it was with my mom.” 
Your eyes widened; he’d never mentioned her before, not really. He’d only made passing references to his mother, the entity she’d been in the childhood that you didn’t know much about apart from what he’d made a point not to talk about.
“How long ago was that?” you asked. You didn’t mean to pry
 but now that he was opening up doors that had never been opened for you, you were anxious for any scraps he was willing to give. 
“My last Christmas with her, I was six.” Eddie’s gaze was wistful, tinging his melancholy grin with a hint of nostalgia. “I don’t remember much about this place, just how I felt when I was here.” He turned to you now, the corner of his smile tugging up in that way that made your heart do backflips. “That’s why I wanted to bring you.”
The two of you were standing still now, waiting in line at the ticket booth. Your hand grasped his, and you gave him a reassuring squeeze. “I wish I could’ve met her.” 
Eddie’s hand squeezed yours back. “She would have liked you.” Then he gave you a look so genuine, you had no doubt in your mind that he meant it.
He let go of your hand only to thumb through his cash at the ticket booth, greedily grabbing your hand back the moment he pocketed his wallet. 
You began the journey through the glowing light show of giant Christmas trees and dazzling archways, and you both marveled at the sheer amount of lights that had been strung into fantastic spectacles as far as your eyes could see. Holiday favorites played through speakers served as the soundtrack to your colorful stroll, mingling with the laughter of children making memories just like Eddie’s. 
“You want hot cocoa?” he asked when the two of you found a quaint stand decorated to look like a gingerbread house. You nodded eagerly, swooning at the idea of a warm drink in this bone-chilling cold. 
“Now’s the best part, Sweet Tart.” Eddie smiled triumphantly at his rhyme, taking both of your hot chocolates and herding you over to a topping bar that had been set up on the side of the stand. “You probably don’t know this about me, but I just happen to make the most delicious cup of hot cocoa in the history of the world.” 
“Oh, aren’t I lucky?”
“Extremely.” he winked, handing you one of the cups. “So what I’m going to do is fix you the greatest cup of cocoa ever, and you can try your best to make me one Ace-style.”
You lifted an eyebrow. “And what is Ace-style?” 
“That’s up to you, gorgeous.”
Gorgeous. Eddie just called you gorgeous. You wanted to pinch yourself, to squeal, to jump up and down. 
“Well then,” you cooed through a toothy grin, “get ready to be dethroned, cocoa king.”
A little more than five minutes later, the two of you sat on a bench beneath a twinkle-lit pergola with your custom cocoas in hand. You had begrudgingly named Eddie the winner, laying the grudge on thickly just to see his cocky smile grow cockier. You’d happily lose any competition against him if it meant you got to see that smile on his face. 
“You get extra points for creativity with the cinnamon, though.” he complimented you between sips, a frothy mustache of whipped cream bubbling on his upper lip. “Never would’ve thought to put that on cocoa.”
You struggled to hide a laugh as you reached for him with a napkin. “‘Preciate it, Colonel Sanders.” 
“Colonel
? Oh.” It was too dark to tell, but you were pretty sure Eddie blushed as you wiped the whipped cream away. “Thanks. No question of whether or not I liked your recipe, I guess!”
You giggled, taking a sip from your own cup. “I’m a little jealous that I don’t get to taste the fruit of my own labors, I worked hard on that!”
“Oh, you wanted some?” You recognized that mischievous glint in Eddie’s eye, but it was too late- he’d already swiped a dollop of whipped cream from his cup and smeared it on the tip of your nose. “There. You can reach that, right?”
You crossed your eyes as you laughed, trying to reach the whipped cream with your tongue which- obviously- you could not do. 
Eddie was cracking up beside you. “C’mon Ace, it’s right there, you got it!” 
It wasn’t long before you’d dabbed a bit of whipped cream on his nose, and the two of you had descended into a laughing fit. 
The entire date went that way
 both of you messing with each other, finding tiny, insignificant excuses to touch each other, make eye contact, do or say something that made the other smile. Conversation flowed easily, like it always did. You’d initially been nervous that this night would be awkward, but you couldn’t have been farther from the truth. Talking to him, being with him
 it was effortless every time.
Before you knew it, you’d both reached the end of the path, the glowing candy cane archway marking the divide between the holiday wonderland and the dusty parking lot. 
Neither you nor Eddie seemed able to bring yourselves toward it; you both stood stock still just a few feet behind the looming candy canes. It seemed he wanted to keep the night going just as much as you did. 
“I almost want to try and walk through it again backwards.” You said, laughing lightly through the words. “I don’t want it to be over.”
Eddie seemed pensive, tilting his head as if deep in thought. The air between you was silent enough for you to register White Christmas playing through a speaker somewhere. Eddie backed up a step or two, then extended his arm out to you with an open hand. 
“One dance for the road, then?”
You stared at Eddie’s hand as a bewildered smile unfurled across your lips. “Do people even dance to Christmas music?” 
“That depends on whether you take my hand or not.” He shrugged, watching you expectantly. 
You took his hand. How could you do anything else?
It was cold outside- more than cold, it was below freezing- and yet, when you felt the pad of his frigid fingers caress your hand, felt his other hand press into the small of your back through the several layers of fabric you wore tonight
 you felt anything but cold. You were freshly baked cookies. You were a quilt left by the fireplace to soak up its warmth. Hell, you were the fireplace. 
You swayed as one to Bing Crosby’s crooning, and your forehead found his chest as your eyelids fluttered shut and a smile that shone with warm content took its rightful place on your winter-chapped lips. You didn’t think it could get better, but then you felt his voice rumbling in his chest and realized that Eddie was singing softly along to the carol as you danced, and your heart began to melt for him.
You got a few looks as people walked past, some surprised, some fond, some judgmental- neither of you noticed, though. For once, you were both completely unbothered by the entire world around you. Nothing existed outside of this. 
You did eventually walk to the van. Eddie drove you back to Hawkins, and he parked at the curb in front of your house the same way he so often did
 but it wasn’t the same. Because this time, he held your hand all the while.
“Can I see you again before Christmas?” Eddie asked you, standing with you on the doorstep under the pale porch light. 
“Well duh,” you smiled, “I have to give you your present.” 
He smirked. You swooned. You always swooned when he gave you that little half smile, but this time you didn’t hide it from him. You never wanted to hide how you felt about him ever again, after tonight. 
“And I have to give you your present.” Eddie parroted, sliding his arms around your waist and pulling you close. 
Your eyes went wide at the contact, and you couldn’t suppress the grin his touch elicited from you as you leaned into it. 
“You got me a present?” 
He nodded, pulling you closer. “Mm-hm. And you didn’t have to get me anything, tonight was enough.” 
You sighed, watching the cloud of your cocoa-scented breath mingle with his in the dim light against a backdrop of snow that was just beginning to fall. “Tonight was perfect, Eddie.”
“Almost perfect.”
You lifted your head to look up at him, confused, but his finger caught your chin to lift it the rest of the way to capture your lips with his own. 
You were dreaming. You had to be dreaming. Eddie Munson was kissing you, and snow was falling, and his hand was pressing into the small of your back making you arch against him and Eddie Munson was kissing you. 
You lifted your hand to lightly caress the stubble at his jaw, and you felt him shiver at the coldness of your fingers but he only kissed you harder, as if he sought shelter from the cold in the way your lips felt against his. 
You were dazed when he pulled away, eyelashes fluttering and your gaze saturated with longing for more. He brought a hand up to grasp yours at his jaw, bringing it to his mouth to press a gentle kiss to your knuckles. 
“You look like a princess tonight, by the way,” he whispered. “I should’ve said that when you got the door, but I’m a coward.”
“You aren’t a coward, Eddie Munson.” You said, moon-eyed and soft-spoken. 
A snowflake caught in your hair, and Eddie smiled as he smoothed it out with his thumb. “You know,” he said, murmuring as though he was half speaking to himself. “When I’m with you, that feels truer than it ever used to before.” He brought his lips to your forehead, pressing them into another gentle kiss at your hairline. 
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Six days passed before you saw Eddie again, but that didn’t mean you didn’t hear from him. He called you every morning- that is, if you didn’t beat him to it. You caught your parents smiling at you on more than one occasion, watching you giggle and sigh and twirl the telephone cord between your fingers. Your mother would grin wistfully, remembering the first time she’d been that smitten over someone. Your father would shake his head and sip his coffee, hiding a smile behind the paper. They both knew who you were talking to, and they couldn’t be more proud of their daughter’s taste. Eddie was already practically part of the family.
The snow continued in full force for the majority of that week, and by the time Friday the 23rd rolled around, there was enough snow on the ground to nearly reach your knees. Eddie insisted that the two of you had to build a snowman as the snow was the perfect consistency today to do so, and you were completely incapable of saying no to him so that was exactly what you did. You were both so cold and frozen to the bone that you both had to huddle by the radiator in his trailer until you could feel your toes again. Wayne had gotten off early for the holidays, so he’d been ready with steaming cups of coffee for the both of you. Come sundown, you were both wrapped in old blankets and clutching your mugs of coffee, cuddling like penguins as It’s a Wonderful Life played on the TV. 
It was a perfect day. 
“You want your present now?” Eddie asked, his chin nudging the top of your head as the credits rolled at the end of the film. It was just the two of you in the room now, Wayne having escaped to the patio for a smoke break.
You nodded excitedly, leaping up to grab two wrapped parcels from beneath the plastic Christmas tree in the corner of the living room- one from you to Eddie, one from him to you. 
Eddie chuckled at your enthusiasm, turning to face where you sat opposite him on the loveseat.
“You open yours first.” you commanded, excited to see his reaction to what you were quite sure would knock his socks off. You’d pulled some strings for this one. 
Eddie obeyed, ripping into the carefully wrapped package quickly and efficiently. Moments later, he was holding up a T-shirt with an expression that was somewhere between shock and complete childlike glee. 
“This
 is this-?”
You were already nodding. “It’s from this year’s tour. I have a cousin in Texarkana, and he told me they were playing at the Community College back at the beginning of the school year, so
” You smiled, “I called in a favor he owes me.”
Eddie looked at you flabbergasted, turning your gift to him this way and that so he could look at every square inch of the Metallica tour shirt- now officially his Metallica tour shirt. 
“This is
 oh my God-”
On that last syllable, he dropped the shirt in his lap and tackled you in a hug so fierce, it toppled you over. 
“Okay, okay,” you wheezed, struggling to catch your breath in his vice-like grip. “I’m glad you like it, can I breathe now, please?” 
He loosened the embrace but still held you in his arms, smiling down at you with joy so bright it could melt the snow outside. “Seriously, thank you. I can’t believe you managed to get one of these.”
You shrugged. “Well, you wanted to go see them in Illinois months ago, but I’m the one who convinced you to stay home because it was a school night. It’s the least I could do.” 
Eddie shook his head, gazing at you with the kind of wonder that one would normally reserve for something like the Grand Canyon or an art museum. “Ace, if this is your least, then I don’t think the world is ready for your best.” 
Once both of you were upright again, Eddie tapped a finger impatiently on his gift to you. “Your turn, c’mon, open it.”
You didn’t need to be told twice- you tore paper and ribbon off the rectangular box with gusto, raising an eyebrow when you saw a logo you recognized on the surface of the cardboard. 
“Converse?” You asked. Eddie just smiled, waiting for you to remove the lid- he wasn’t disappointed with your reaction. Your jaw dropped when your eyes locked on the deep red platform Converse that you’d fallen in love with nearly five months ago. 
“Eddie
 are these-?”
“You know I couldn’t let you leave that store without those shoes. Or
 well, I couldn’t let you leave without the possibility of owning those shoes.” Eddie’s posture straightened, obviously satisfied with how surprised you were. “They were meant for you, Ace.”
You couldn’t stop staring at the shoes. Those beautiful, red, perfect shoes that Eddie had seen you simply look at all those months ago, and bought for you so that he could give you the perfect Christmas present. Because they were- they were the best present you had ever gotten, because you knew that this meant he cared about you even then. 
You were so in love with this man. 
You didn’t realize you’d shed a tear until it spilled over your eyelid and fell with a plop on the cardboard box. 
“I can’t believe you bought these, Eddie, they were so expensive!” 
“Hey now, it’s okay! You don’t need to cry, it’s okay!”
Eddie was wiping your eyes in seconds, panicking at the sight of your tears. You sniffled, gazing up at him with wet, shining eyes. “It’s okay, they’re happy tears, I promise!” You tried to reassure him, but his hands stayed planted on either side of your jaw, fingers splayed across the skin of your cheeks.
“You promise you’re okay?” Eddie pressed.
You took his wrists in your hands, stroking your thumbs along his skin. “I’m more than okay, Eddie.” 
This time it was you who leaned in, your lips salted from a stray tear ghosting against his, innocent and tentative. He made a noise when you kissed him, a high-pitched sort of whine that sounded wanting, desperate. The tip of his tongue poked out to taste your kiss, and the moment you allowed your tongue to meet his, he seemed to lose all restraint. 
Your presents were forgotten, pushed to the side as Eddie leaned further into your kiss, his lips moving purposefully against yours as he slowly lowered you until you were horizontal on the loveseat. 
More of his weight settled on top of you, and you reveled in the way his body slotted against yours as he deepened the kiss. His mouth worked in tandem with yours as your hands wandered, fingering the fabric of his long sleeved shirt against his back. Your fingers worked their way under the hem, slipping to the warm skin beneath, and he gasped into your mouth at how cold your fingers were. His revenge was a bite to your lip, which launched a gasp from your lips that surprised even you. 
“Ahem.”
Wayne’s cough came from the kitchen, and it tore the two of you off of each other so fast that Eddie actually fell off of the couch, landing on his back and staring up at the ceiling wide-eyed and rueful. 
“You kids still on Santa’s nice list out here?” 
“Christ, Wayne-” Eddie’s hands rubbed his eyes, as if he could somehow reach his brain through his eye sockets and scrub away the embarrassment. 
 “-Because if you’re doing something that would land you two on the naughty list, I’d rather it didn’t happen in my living room.”
You cringed, glad he was behind you so you didn’t have to look Wayne in the eye. “Sorry, Mr. Munson.”
Eddie glanced up at you, smiling up at you through a cringe as he mouthed Sorry!
“It’s getting late, Ace,” he said, hopping to his feet and offering you a hand. “Let’s get you home.”
You nodded, taking his hand and standing to throw Wayne an apologetic smile. “Thank you for having me over, Mr. Wayne. And for the coffee.”
He gave you a friendly, forgiving smile in return. “No need to thank me, darlin’, you’re welcome anytime.”
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When Eddie returned home from dropping you off, he reached into his pocket and pulled out the crumpled piece of notebook paper that you’d given him before you’d left his car. You’d scribbled a phone number on it- the area code was unfamiliar, a Louisiana number that you’d said belonged to your grandmother’s house where you’d be staying for the remainder of the winter holiday. 
“My flight leaves tomorrow,” you’d said, “but my granny said it’s fine if you call. I can’t hog the phone like I’ve been doing the rest of this week- there’ll be like eighteen grandchildren there, so I doubt I’m the only one who’ll want to use the phone, but-”
“Ace,” Eddie interrupted, “Are you asking me to call you?” 
You looked up at him sheepishly, smiling and nodding your head. 
He grinned. “Then I’ll call.” 
This felt like the beginning of something good, something really really good. Eddie didn’t know what he’d done to deserve something so good
 one could even call it a Christmas miracle. 
The phone rang suddenly, pulling Eddie from his thoughts, and he picked up the receiver quickly so it wouldn’t bother Wayne, who’d fallen asleep in his recliner. 
“Hello?”
“You gave her the shoes!” Robin’s voice buzzed excitedly.
Eddie smiled, “Yes, Buckley, I gave her the shoes.” Robin had made a point to interrogate Eddie about his Christmas gift to you over a month ago, and when Eddie had finally broken down and told her, she’d actually been rather impressed with him.
“I just got off the phone with her,” She gushed, “She was stunned, completely floored. God, Munson, you realize you’re getting a girlfriend for Christmas?”
“Slow down, speedy-” Eddie cautioned through his teeth, “-we haven’t really
 defined anything yet. I don’t even know if that’s what she wants.”
Robin snorted. “Oh, I don’t think you’ll find much of an issue there. Believe me, she wants to be with you. If she’s ready to deal with Alan and his creeps for you, she’s in it for the long haul.”
Eddie frowned, confused. “Alan?” he asked, “You mean what happened back in October? If anything she was the one antagonizing him, I had to get her out of the classroom before she started a fight.”
“October? No, I mean last week.”
Eddie’s breath caught in his chest. 
“Robin,” he said, his voice dangerously calm. “What happened last week?”
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Part 8
Taglist: @rustboxstarr , @josephquinnsfreckles , @rozxartaki ,@sheneedsrocknroll92, @melodymishahiddlestan , @stylesxmunson @fishwithtitz , @elvendria , @carrotbunnies21 , @the-unforgivenn , @munson-blurbs, @writinginthetwilight , @ghost-proofbaby , @nix-rose , @chaoticgood-munson , @3rd-conchord , @aphrogeneias , @definitionwanderlust , @aheadfullofsteverogers , @artsymaddie , @mopeymopeymouse , @alwaysbeenfamous
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joeys-babe · 11 months ago
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Joey B Blurbs: Santa
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Summary: You and Joe decorate the Christmas tree with your little family.
Warnings: Sweet fluff, slight dirty talk, illusions to smut
Pairing: Joe Burrow x reader
Imagine universe: Into The Mystic
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*December 1, 2023* - Before pregnancy is known
It was an off day for Joe, so now that I finally had my husband away from football, It was time to decorate the tree.
We’d spent the morning decorating the outside of the house, and the inside, so now all that was left was the tree.
He ‘engaged’ his ‘football muscles’ and got the Christmas decorations out of the garage, along with the tree.
Tyson and Miles stood so small next to the Christmas tree as they looked up at it in astonishment.
Though it was bare, it was enticing to them.
I forced Joe to put on his Christmas PJs from last year as I did the same. The boys had outgrown theirs, so we will get a new set this year for Christmas Eve.
“Do I look dumb?” - Joe
Since last year, Joe has gained significant muscle, and the shirt was practically wearing him. Though it was clear that he'd need a bigger size this year, he looked so hot.
“You look delicious.” - you ran your hands over his arms
“I feel like my chest is going to bust the shirt open.” - Joe grumbled
“Hopefully.” - you mumbled
“What was that?” - Joe smirked
“Nothing!” - you turned to run away
Before I could even get a foot away, Joe grabbed my arm and pulled me back into him. With a harsh smack on the ass, his lips attached to mine.
“You’re gonna find yourself on the naughty list, Mama.” - Joe grinned
“Gonna stuff my stocking with coal?” - you
“Oh, I’ll stuff your stocking with something.” - Joe
“Joseph Lee!” - you swatted at his chest
Joe’s hands remained on my ass as he gave me a hard squeeze. With a dirty grin on his lips, he leaned forward to kiss me, but the moment was ruined before he could.
“Mama!” - Miles yelled without taking his eyes off of the tree
After wiggling out of his grasp, I heard Joe groan out of annoyance as I walked away.
I flashed him a glare and he followed behind me into the living room.
“What's up, bub?” - you
“We help decorate?” - Tyson
“Of course, you guys can help me and Daddy decorate the tree!” - you
“Wait what-” - Joe
The boys cheered before running into the kitchen where the boxes of ornaments were.
“Baby, I bring the boxes in. That’s my part. I don't decorate.” - Joe
“Now you do.” - you smiled
“y/n
” - Joe
I walked towards him with a pleading look on my face.
“Please, Joey
” - you batted your eyelashes for extra measure
Joe narrowed his eyes at me before defeatedly sighing.
“Fine.” - Joe
“Yay! I love you.” - you
Leaning forward to kiss him, I was met with his finger stopping my lips.
“On one condition.” - Joe
“What?” - you
“I get to change out of these pajamas.” - Joe
“Absolutely not!” - you
“Why?” - Joe smiled
“Because you look sexy as hell.” - you smiled and traced his pecks with your finger
I watched him suck in a breath when I placed my hand on his lower stomach, dangerously close to his crotch.
“Okay, I'll keep ‘em on.” - Joe
“Thank you, my love.” - you kissed his cheek
“You’re really on the naughty list now.” - Joe
“Only Santa can decide that, Joe.” - You
“I think he's gonna pay you a visit later.” - Joe winked
I knew exactly what that meant. As a joke, a couple of years ago, I bought Joe a sexy Santa suit as a gag gift, but he ended up liking it.
Now, every December, it would get pulled out of the garage, and I’d be told I was on the ‘naughty list’.
——
An hour later, the ornaments were all on the tree, and all that was left was the star.
“I put it on?” - Tyson
“No, me!” - Miles
“You both can.” - Joe
I looked at him confused but he instructed me on how we'd get it done.
“You pick Miles up, I'll pick up Tyson. They can each have a hand on the star and put it on.” - Joe
“Good idea, babe!” - you
“Thank you.” - Joe jokingly took a bow
Moments later, we were lifting the boys in the air as they put the star on the tree.
“Good job, boys!” - you smiled as you and Joe put them back down
Joe and I laughed when Tyson and Miles did a celebratory high-five with each other.
“Okay, now it's bedtime.” - you
“No!!” - Tyson and Miles said in sync
“Aye, you guys don't say no to your mama. Let's go.” - Joe
I watched Joe lead the boys to the stairs before he turned back around and walked to me.
His arms wrapped around my waist as he whispered in my ear.
“I’ll be right back.” - Joe
——
Joe kept his promise and was back downstairs in ten short minutes, I was sitting on the couch watching the wood in the fireplace burn.
He had a sense of giddiness in his long strides to the garage.
A few minutes later he walked back into the living room in that Santa suit.
I couldn't help but giggle at his appearance. Flaming red pants with a matching jacket, no shirt on underneath as it was completely unbuttoned. The hat on top of his head and the grin on his face were the icing on the cake.
“Have you been a good girl this year?” - Joe
“I don't know Santa, you tell me.” - you grinned
Joe waltzed up to me, and the angle of him towering over me was so hot.
I ran my hand over his bare lower stomach before he plopped down onto the couch next to me.
“C’mere.” - Joe patted his thick thighs
Immediately doing his bidding and straddling his lap, Joe’s big hands found their places on my hips.
“What do you want for Christmas?” - Joe grinned
“For Santa to give me a nice kiss.” - you
A dirty grin formed on his lips as he leaned forward and pressed his lips onto mine.
If only you two knew about the pair of little eyes that were watching you, that had by now run back to his room.
When Tyson got back to the bedroom he immediately shook his twin brother awake.
“Miles.” - Tyson blabbered
“Hm?” - Miles
“I saw Mommy kissing Santa Clause.” - Tyson
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Authors note: The ending was the OG idea and I just had to find a way to write something to include it. 💀
MERRY CHRISTMAS, to those that celebrate! I hope today is one of the best holidays ever
 and this is my gift to you! đŸ«¶
Hope you enjoyed! 💕
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corazondebeskar-reads · 1 year ago
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you know you never stood a chance - epilogue
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you know you never stood a chance series
epilogue: maybe light a candle
series masterlist | prev chapter 
Joel Miller x f!reader
Words: 2.9k
Summary: It's Christmas Eve, and Joel hasn't come home yet. (this takes place about three years after the end of the main story.)
Warnings: established relationship, angst, christmas in the apocalypse, technically spoilers for tlou pt 2, mentions of breastfeeding (not as a fetish), found family, poor communication, oral (f receiving), postpartum depression, possibly violating child labor laws by using a baby as a plot device, pls remember I am playing fast and loose with both canon and the timelines lol
also on ao3
dividers by @saradika-graphics
It’s Christmas Eve.
Or, at least, according to the council. You’re not sure if anyone is really sure what the date is anymore.
But for all intents and purposes, maybe it’s Christmas Eve. The holiday is a thin, moth-bitten version of its former self, but you’ve never been the holly-jolly or the religious sort, so Christmas Lite suits you just fine.
Maria had invited you and Lulu to the mess hall for a big meal and activities for the kids. It was less of an invitation than an expectation, but you stayed home anyway.
And maybe it wasn’t fair. Maybe she wanted you there for the same reason you didn’t want to be there. She’s fucking tough, maybe the strongest person you know, but she has to be feeling Tommy’s absence today, too. It isn’t AlĂ©jandra’s first Christmas, but likely the first one she’ll remember, which is worse.
But it’s more than it just being Lulu’s first Christmas. It’s that Maria had made a point of telling you that Ellie would be there.
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You prepare to watch her leave for the night. The light pours in the window when she opens the shed door, and you know she can see your shadow haunting the living room.
You want Ellie to meet her sister. You dream of it nearly every night. But there’s no way in hell you’re doing it without Joel. It’d break his heart. You like to think she knows, at least. Someone (probably Tommy) had to have told her.
So when she climbs the steps instead of walking past, you freeze. Her knuckles rap against the wood, and you close your eyes. You can’t. You need to, but you can’t.
“Maria asked me to remind you that you promised to come by tonight,” she calls through the door.
She knows you can hear her. She knows you choose not to respond (but she doesn’t know you bite your lip so hard to resist that it bleeds).
It would be wrong. But the ache is so strong you’re convinced it must be a physical wound.
She leaves.
“There goes Ellie,” you tell the baby, as you always do. “She’s got places to be, but she loves you very much.” The guilt of keeping them apart makes you nauseous.
Maybe it isn’t true yet, but you think it is. You think, despite everything, despite the anger she harbors for Joel (and a fragment of that for you), that she already loves her sister. Even if she’s only the shadow of a sister spied through dark windows and across the street.
You wonder if she knows her name. Tommy had started the whole “Lulu” thing, and though it had grown on you now, it made you suspect he hadn’t thought to mention she had a real, full name.
Luna Luann. Luna, for Ellie, and Luann for Joel’s favorite tía, the one who smuggled them chewing gum and taught Joel his strong right hook when the other kids were picking on Tommy.
You’d take this secret to the grave, but you hated the name Luann. But when he brought up the suggestion, he had talked about her for nearly twenty minutes, and so you love the woman despite her name, just for the way she brought a little more of Joel out.
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You thought they’d be home by Christmas. You’re trying not to worry, but worrying’s one of the things you’re good at. It doesn’t help that you’re still struggling. You’ve been told it’s normal, but these last two weeks with Joel gone have been so hard.
She’s cutting a tooth (her very first), and you can barely catch a break. You sleep when she sleeps, but it’s never enough. A few neighbors have been bringing casseroles still, and it’s the only reason you’ve been eating.
So, you think it’s probably understandable that you crumble after you watch Ellie walk away and Luna starts to cry. The lights are out except for the single candle in the front window. You keep it lit all night in case Joel comes home. A beacon.
If you had a widow’s walk, you’d be haunting it. But you’re not a widow—couldn’t be, you’re not even a wife—and he’ll be fine. He’ll come back.
Joel always comes back.
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It might be Christmas Eve, and you’re slumped against the wall of your living room, crying in tandem with your infant. There’s nothing wrong, you checked. It’s so much worse that she’s probably just picking up on your mood.
You orbit around each other that way. She is the sun that you and Joel revolve around, but his absence has sent you both off balance.
The sun might be the more accurate comparison, but you usually like to say Lulu, your Luna, was your moon, and Joel was the sun. He disagrees. He says he’s the rock, and you are her light.
It was profoundly beautiful, but none of the concepts held up to the reality. The truth was that you were a constellation, but without Ellie, you made no recognizable form. Sagitta with one feather, an arrow that can never fly true.
When you settle down to sniffles and the errant tear, Lulu has fallen asleep against your chest. You creep upstairs and lay her in the crib squeezed between the bed and the wall.
The room was plenty large, and part of it had been set up as a nursery. But after she was born, you spent each night on the floor next to the crib.
Joel hadn’t been having that. After the first week, he sat you down and asked if you’d be able to sleep in the bed if she was next to you.
And then he just
 built a second, smaller crib. One that fits right up against your side of the mattress. It was low to the ground, so all you had to do was reach down, and you could feel her little chest rise and fall, or scoop her up to nurse her in the middle of the night. She’ll grow out of it fast, but by then, you hope you’ll feel secure enough to move her to the big one just across the room.
You had been embarrassed. Didn’t want anyone to know. After all, mothers had been putting their children to sleep in different rooms for ages. But you weren’t afraid to tell Joel, knew if there was anyone in this town that understood, it’d be him (and Maria).
“Ain’t nothin’ wrong with keepin’ your baby close,” he said, as gruff and blunt as always.
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When Joel comes home, he finds you that way. On your side, arm dangling into the crib with Lulu’s tiny fingers wrapped around your own. He sat down and gently tapped your shoulder, trying not to disturb the baby.
“What’re you doin’ here, darlin’?” he whispers when you stir. You blink up at him through sore eyes, then smile softly, sending his heart skittering.
“You’re home,” you say, extracting your finger and sitting up to reach for him.
He wraps you in his arms, lets you burrow into the nest of his broad shoulders. “M’sorry,” he murmurs into your hair, chasing the words with a kiss.
“Tommy okay?”
“Yeah, he’s good. Just hit some delays on the way home. Bridge was out. I thought y’all were going to the party?”
You don’t answer right away. You know he’ll feel bad. That he does feel bad, that the guilt eats a little part of him each day. All he wants is his girls all together.
“I was,” you mumble, feeling the tears prick with a vengeance. “But Maria said
 Maria said that Ellie would be there.”
Joel’s arms squeeze you a little tighter for a moment. “Y’know I don’t want to get in the way of you talkin’ to her.”
“I know. But after last time
 she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore, anyway.”
“She’ll come around,” Joel says.
It reignites a new round of self-hatred, that he’s sitting here consoling you. After all, she had spoken to you after their fight. Sat down and told you she wasn’t mad at you, that she knew he probably didn’t even tell you.
And he hadn’t told you, hadn’t clued you in, trying in his foolhardy way to spare you the burden of the lie. And you were mad at him for it; you’d had your own spat after.
But you weren’t mad he did it. Not one bit.
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He can tell you don’t want to keep talking about it, and that’s fine by him.
“You miss me, baby?” he murmurs, a teasing brush of his lips over your neck.
You roll your eyes. “Oh no, did you have to go two weeks without gettin’ laid?”
He chuckles, dark and raspy, as he reaches to cup your ass and squeeze, smirking when you gasp.
“And you’re tellin’ me those little fingers were enough for your greedy cunt? Like ya ain’t droolin’ for my cock right now?”
You whimper. He’s right. Two weeks is too fucking long for either of you.
He tugs you properly into his lap, legs wrapped around his waist, before he just stands up and carries you into the guest room across the hall. It’s not ideal, but if you leave both doors open, you’ll be able to hear Luna if she wakes.
“How’ve you not thrown your back out?” you grumble as he manhandles you.
He tosses you onto the bed, already peeling off his clothes and pointedly ignoring you.
He’s halfway through tugging his jeans down when he stops and looks at you. “What’re you doing? Let me see ya, sweetheart.”
You’ve long gotten over how easy you are for him. You only hadn’t stripped yet because you wanted to work him up. “You can see me just fine. Or do you need your glasses, old man?”
He takes the bait, shaking his head, before looming over you and running his hands down the sides of his old shirt you use for a nightgown. He barely grazes your breasts, just brushing the tips of your hardened nipples and grinning when you whine.
“Up,” he orders, tugging at the hem of the shirt.
You lift enough for him to pull it off and flop back down. It’s your turn to smirk as he watches the way your tits bounce with deep hunger.
And then he fucking rips the along the side of your panties and pulls them off, throwing them to the floor.
“Hey!”
“Shut up, you can sew ‘em back.”
“I’ve already sewn that pair twice, Joel. You’re a fuckin’ menace.”
“Is that so?” Suddenly his breath is hot against your cunt, and you clench around nothing.
“Uh-huh,” you moan as he runs one finger along the seam of your cunt. “‘Cause you’re a menace.”
“Only for you, darlin’.”
You laugh. “Oh yeah? Let me do a survey around town.”
He shuts you up by sliding two fingers right into your cunt, the stretch almost too much. Almost. But you don’t really notice because he buries his face between your lips, and any sassy remark comes out in a desperate cry.
He pulls away and gives you a warning look, head tilted. His free hand comes up to cover your mouth, thick fingers clamping down and digging into your cheek. It makes you moan, but it also muffles it, so it works out fine.
“If you want your turn, you gotta be quiet. Otherwise, I’ll just have mine and shut you up proper.”
You choke down the moan dredged up by the thought of his cock down your throat and make the saddest pleading eyes you can muster.
He rolls his, shaking his head, before he goes back to your neglected clit.
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You’re close, so close when you hear it. You pat Joel’s head, sitting up. “Was that the door?”
The shift is immediate. Three years in town has allowed Joel to relax somewhat, sometimes, but he slips back into it in an instant. He pulls back, brow furrowed, squinting like it’ll help him hear better.
It comes again, louder this time, insistent enough for him to pick up. A firm knocking.
There’s a pause, but Joel’s already on his feet, pulling his clothes back on. He tosses your shirt over as he ducks out of the doorway and you’re slipping it over your head when whoever is outside grows impatient.
Rapid, furious banging rattles the door, and you dart across the hall to shut the bedroom, but it’s too late.
Lulu starts wailing immediately, her little face scrunched up, nose wrinkling, and tears pouring out faster than a faucet. You scoop her up and soothe her, cradling her as she finds solace for her hurt feelings and empty stomach.
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Joel goes downstairs, partly to shut up the racket but mostly because the sound fills him with dread. When he opens the door, it flings wide, and the tirade begins immediately.
Ellie storms in, already yelling. “—could you? What the fuck is wrong with you? You won’t even let her come out for fuckin’ Christmas because she might see me?”
You’re going down the stairs as soon as you hear her voice, but she stops yelling when she sees you on the landing.
“It’s not his fault,” you say, face hot with frustration and raw hurt. You hate the way your eyes water.
“Like hell, it isn’t. Maria said you were going to come, that one of you might actually have the balls to tell me you had a fuckin’ baby, and—”
“And I decided not to go, Ellie. Joel wasn’t even home. He didn’t know.”
Lulu has started to cry again, distracted from nursing by your ire. You murmur apologies, kissing the little tuft of dark hair on her head, and try to coax her back to your breast.
Ellie’s eyes are wide, and feet planted, ratty sneakers dripping filthy snow across the floor. Her mouth hangs open as she takes in the tiny, ruddy creature who finally agreed to return to her meal.
“Hey, Ellie. We had a fuckin’ baby,” Joel says after the silence hangs for a minute too long.
The bark of laughter that bursts out of her looks like it hurts, but she can’t fight it. The tension dissolves into absurdity and then tears.
Ellie sits on the ground instead of the perfectly nice sofa to her left. You come down the stairs and sit beside her.
You look up at Joel, and he nods. You wish he’d come sit, but he’s too afraid to break the peace. “Would you like to hold your sister?” you ask Ellie, keeping your voice low and steady.
“Can I? I mean
 what if I break her?”
“She’s pretty tough.” Lulu is done eating, just suckling for comfort, so you pry her off your breast and tug your shirt back up.
Joel takes her without thinking, leaning her against his shoulder to help her work out the air.
Once she gives a satisfactory belch, he thrusts her at Ellie, who’s startled enough to take her without thinking about it.
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You all hold very still. Except Lulu, who is blissfully unaware of the strife and coos up at her big sister. She bats a little hand at her face, smacking her nose in an attempt to grab on. Ellie laughs, and her smile, her perfect smile that you haven’t seen in a year, breaks out.
You can’t help it; you start crying. Ellie looks up in alarm, but Joel shakes his head, moving closer to rub your shoulder.
“It’s not you,” he says solemnly, “it’s just hard, after.” He gestures at the baby.
“It is you,” you say, and Joel scrubs a hand over his face with a soft groan. “It’s—I’m sorry, I just—”
Ellie’s looking like she might make a break for it. She tries to hand the baby back to Joel, who refuses.
You get ahold of yourself. “It’s not bad, Ellie. I’ve just been waiting for this since she was born.”
Ellie softens and then scowls. “Then you should have told me. You should have told me you were pregnant in the first place. I said you could talk to me.”
“No, I couldn’t,” and you pause as she shoots a dirty look at Joel. “No, not because of him. Because I would have done the same damn thing, so you may as well hate me too.”
“What?” She seems genuinely shocked, which you don’t have the patience for.
“I would do the same damn thing. If I had been there, there would have been nothin’ in the fuckin’ world keeping me from getting to you, Ellie. Nothing short of death. Not then, not now. I’d do it for her, too.”
The room is stifling, and Joel hasn’t even lit the hearth yet. Your breath comes out in little puffs, and every one of you has wet, devastated eyes. Even Lulu, who looks like she might be the first to break into tears.
Ellie looks down and sighs. “So, Lulu, huh?”
“Actually,” Joel says, and chances a step closer, squatting down. “It’s Luna. Luna Luann. Tommy’s just an idiot.”
Ellie’s a smart kid. You can see the moment it clicks—the way she looks up at Joel with something akin to hope. It fades quickly, but you know he saw it, too. His own staggering heart, heavy with love unspoken, is betrayed in the way he has to fight a smile, choke down the relief. Maybe, just maybe.
Maybe next year, you’ll get a tree.
thank you all so, so much.
*title from "Alone This Holiday" by The Used
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mysticallystilinski · 11 months ago
Note
does it work if I send you a prompt and you choose who it best suits??
“ you’re always there. i didn’t used to see it before, but i do now. every time i’ve ever needed someone, you were there.  ”  
COMFORT [ stiles x fem!reader ]
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desc. STILES ADMITS HIS FEELINGS ON A CHILLY NIGHT AFTER COMING HOME DRUNK TO HIS BESTFRIEND
has : tw: emetophobia (gagging and hurling), some angst, major fluff, stiles being the cutest babygirl ever,
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it was a cold december night, specifically christmas eve. you and your best friend stiles were about hanging out because sheriff stilinski was at work, and your parents were on vacation. the plan was to have a star wars marathon, accompanied with some popcorn and candy.
the blankets were all set out as you waited for stiles to arrive. you heard a loud knock on your door, it was 30 minutes earlier than his planned arrival. you headed off the couch and made your way to the front of the house. as soon as your hand grabbed the knob, the door flung open.
in came a drunk and stumbling brown haired boy. stiles was known for being a light weight, but this has never happened. “stiles, what the hell. are you drunk?”, you yelled. he looked up at you before running through the house. he took a lap around it and then came back to you. “sseee i’m- i’m not drunkkk”, he slurred.
he laughed and gave you a big hug. you sighed in exasperation as he clung to you. his hands found their way to your lower back. for a quick second you felt butterflies, but instantly brushed them away as you began to hear stiles gagging. it must’ve been the alcohol, so he rushed to your bathroom in a flash.
he almost knocked you over while running, but soon made it to the toilet. you heard hurling and gasping for air. you stifled a chuckle as you made your way over to him. by the time you walked there, he was almost all the way passed out onto the floor. his position was so funny that you had to take out your phone for a picture.
the camera clicked as the flash went on, and awakened him from his slumber. “heyy, i do not consent to that”, he giggled while pushing himself up to a sitting position. you headed over the shoes on the ground, and sat on the edge of your tub. stiles back was pressed up against the wall, as he stared into your eyes.
you couldn’t tell if he was zoning out, or just making heavy eye-contact. he mumbled something, but you couldn’t make out what exactly it was. “what did you say stiles?”, you laughed. he put his head down and mumbled again. you brushed it off as it may have not been that serious. stiles on the other hand continued to repeat himself.
“y/n, you’re always there”, he said. your eyes widened as he made that statement. you went to talk, but he interrupted you. “i didn’t used to see it before, but i do now. every time i’ve ever needed someone, you were there.” tears swelled up in his eyes, and his voice cracked at the last word. “what made you think that stiles?”, you whispered.
you and stiles have been best-friends, and never more. lydia was the one in his life that he has had a crush on for years. you have always had that one thought in your mind thinking more of him, but never expected anything to happen.
stiles lifted up his head and stared into your eyes. “i- i don’t know, i’ve just felt like i needed to say that”, he spoke sappily. you couldn’t tell if it was drunk stiles making moves, or sobered up stiles. “i don’t know if i can handle this right now stiles”. you got off the bathtub only to be grasped down onto stiles lap.
“please don’t leave,” he said while whispering in your ear. your stomach began to make knots. ‘don’t do this right now’, you thought. you tilted your neck up to look at him. he suddenly leaned in and placed his lips upon yours. they still tasted like alcohol. he used his hand to run his fingers through your hair.
you kissed him back passionately and slowly. his hands lowered from your hair to you waist. you slowly pulled back and lifted yourself up. “i’m gonna go get some towels, and water”, you spoke. he nodded in reply. you quickly ran out of the bathroom and to your closet. you grabbed a bright red towel, and got some water out of the kitchen.
heading back to the bathroom, you heard some noises. they sounded almost like groaning, but you couldn’t make it out exactly. you stopped in the doorway to find a sat up stiles, sleeping. his mouth was slightly open, and he was snoring soundly. you placed the towel and water upon the sink, and went to sit next to him.
you lowered your body from the air to the wall. once you hit the floor, stiles head fell upon your shoulder. you heard his little gasps for breath through his snoring. he laid there in silence as you slowly closed your eyes. you quickly felt very tired, and put your head on top of stiles. you drifted to sleep as stiles snores soothed you.
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chocotonez · 2 years ago
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skz putting their jacket over your lap
a/n: hiii, merry Christmas Eve if you celebrate!! I hope you all stay warm and enjoy your winter <3 also I forgot to put a read more on this one so sorry about that lolol
warnings/genre: gn language but y/n wears skirts, shorts and dresses and stuff, fluff, mentions of food and slight cat calling/harassment in seungmin’s (guys stare at u and whisper shit), discomfort in revealing clothing in hyunjin but that’s a really bad way of explaining it so see for yourself if u want
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chan
-he always keeps his arm around you at public events, so when you were at a dinner party to celebrate the release of his new album he could feel how cold your skin was
-the dress was suggested to you by a stylist since you didn’t really know what to wear, but someone call irene cuz

-you were constantly pulling down the skirt, and he could feel you shuffling like every five seconds because just breathing made the dress ride up
-“are you okay?? wanna go home?” And you, who’s literally eating the best fucking food you’ve ever tasted and having the time of ur life supporting ur boyfriend obviously shot down his offer
-so he took the coat he came in with because suddenly this takes place in the winter and puts it over your lap, before kissing the top of your head.
“Tell me if you’re uncomfortable, okay? We can leave any time.”
lee know
-lovingly already giving you shit about it before you even leave the house
-“baby, I love you and all and I think you look amazing but those shorts are gonna be uncomfortable as hell”
-“hoes never give up their clothes”
-he didn’t wanna be overbearing so he was like “whatever nerd let’s go”
-you guys were sitting outside and you were already pulling your shorts down, minho only noticing when you entered a grocery store because wtf why r they so cold
-gives you the “I told you so” look and forces u to take his jacket :>
“wrap it around your waist idiot, tell me if you want to go home.”
changbin
-ur probably gonna have to ask him bevause dawg doesn’t realize
-but when you do tell him he’s like !!! “Oh my god I’m so sorry, of course you can have my jacket!!” and he’s holding ur hand all reassuringly and apologizing n ur like “it’s ok I was literally just unbearably cold”
-feels so bad that he didn’t notice how u were literally freezing to death :,)
-bonus is you get to see him roll the sleeves up of his collared shirts + he gets to see you comfortably enjoying yourself so everyone wins
“I’m so sorry again!! Tell me if you need anything else, okay?”
hyunjin
-your supporting your boyfriend at a little formal party, and it was an indoor event at a familiar location that has never been uncomfortable ever in your life
-and then it was uncomfortable, you were just rubbing your legs and the feeling of leather on bare skin was weird and why the hell was it so cold??
-but you looked so hot in this dress ?? so what can someone do. you didn’t mind dressing up, but being in such a weird environment made you dream of the pajama pants you’d put on when you got home
-hyunjin takes his suit’s blazer off and casually slides it over to you without even blinking an eye, as you look up like ??? dawg I didn’t even say anything and he’s just like “I know~~”
-he just knows you very well and he also likes the trope of u wearing his suit jacket after a party, so he insists you keep it because u look so cute
“I can just tell when you’re uncomfortable! I’m a psychic, hehe >:]”
han
-“eeee i don’t like this dress, I feel weird in it”
-“omg babe no!! u look so good :>”
-“no my legs r just cold”
-feels like a superhero and the coolest boyfriend ever to put his coat over your lap, he’s so proud of himself :,)
-he feels like he’s the protag of some romance drama, n he loves it!! and you’re no longer freezing ur ass off so thank goodness
-pretends to forget his coat so he can see you wear it on the way home or something like that
“hehehe, you look cute! do you need anything else? aren’t I just the best?”
felix
-idk he’d probably forget a jacket too so you’d both be awkwardly freezing at a restaurant so we’re gonna put you in an award ceremony
-you were his +1! so you dressed up extra nice for the evening, and you sat next to him as winners came up with their thank you speeches
-I think he’s very attentive to you if you guys go out together cuz he wants you to enjoy every moment with him!!
-so he notices v quickly when you use the table cloth as a blanket for your lap or shake your legs, and he hurriedly gives you his suit jacket so you don’t feel so uncomfortable
-kisses your cheek after, and when cameras catch this cute asf moment you two go trending on twt for 24 hours :,) you guys are just so cute together!!
“Does it feel better than the table cloth? I thought so, I can ask staff for something more accommodating, just let me know <3”
seungmin
-you guys are taking the train home after a day out, and you’re just scrolling on your phone before he leans over
-“the guys across from us are looking at you, do you wanna move?”
-you decide to just stay as the only free seats were reserved for others who needed it more, so you just say like 180 degrees away from them
-you could hear them whispering, and you subconsciously pulled your shorts down, not even knowing if that’s what the problem was
-you tried to ignore the gawking before you saw a grey hoodie fly over your lap, seungmin gently holding your waist to turn you back forward and giving the guys across from you the most uncomfortable eye contact until they stop
“Weirdos. Don’t feel insecure or anything by them, probably just never seen someone as hot as you before
”
jeongin
-trips over his two feet to get to you
-you guys planned for lunch at a cafe, and while you were waiting for him you texted “omg this skirt is so uncomfortable lolol” and next thing you know someone’s sprinting at you full force while holding their jacket
-it’s your loving boyfriend who broke into a sprint the second he read your text
-“h-here, put this over your lap if you want” “how far did you run??” “bro just take it I beg”
-you can’t help but laugh because he’s so out of breath and didn’t even mind the eyes staring at him because he was just running in a panicked frenzy
-boyfriend mode: activated
“I’m not a simp, shut up. Just want you to feel comfortable you loser. (lovingly)
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spnexploration · 11 months ago
Text
A Christmas Case
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader
Warnings: None
Summary: Dean drags you out of bed to go to a case, ruining your Christmas plans. But does he have a plan to make up for it?
Words: 1.1k
This is my submission for @spnfanficpond Secret Santa 2023 (ignore the fact it was posted in Jan 2024...) and is a gift for @apocalypseornaw ❀ Sorry for the delay!
Supernatural writing masterlist
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“Come on, we’ve got a case,” Dean said, shaking you awake.
“Fu’ offfff,” you grumbled at him. “You’re not allowed in my room.” What you’d really like was Dean to stay in your room permanently, maybe some ravishing
 But that was never going to happen.
He chuckled, “Just channel that energy to the monster. We leave in twenty.”
---
You sulked in the backseat. It was December 23rd, why the hell were you off on a case? You’d put in a little bit of effort at the bunker, getting a tree and some dollar shop baubles. That was all for naught, now.
Dean caught sight of you in the rear-view mirror. “What’s up with you, princess? We interrupt your beauty sleep?” You didn’t appreciate his teasing.
“I don’t see why monsters couldn’t give us the bloody holidays off.”
“It’s just another day in our line of work, don’t know why you got your hopes up.”
You glared at him. “Yes, how could I, when known Scrooge, Dean Winchester, was going to be trawling for cases at 6am on Christmas Eve Eve.” It was his own damn fault he wouldn’t be getting the present you’d spent a lot of time choosing for him.
“Hey! I didn’t even find it!”
You turned your glare to Sam, “Got anything to say, Second Scrooge Winchester?”
“I just have some google alerts set up, sorry.”
You crossed your arms.
“You might have been expecting a bit too much from a Christmas at the Bunker anyway,” Dean said in a tone of voice as if he was trying to make you feel better. “We’re not very good at Christmases.”
You rolled your eyes and looked out the window. The boys decided to let you be.
---
You decided to keep a tally of how many people said something about the FBI making you work so close to Christmas: you were already up to 4 and it was only mid-afternoon on the first day. Happily the drive hadn’t been too long from the bunker to the crappy town where the case was, so you’d been able to get started straight away.
There was a giant Christmas tree in the main street of town. You felt like it was mocking you.
You dragged your feet as you followed the boys into the library, conveniently still open. You wondered if Dean even realised everything was going to be closed on Christmas Day. Serve him right if he couldn’t get pie that day.
You half-heartedly trawled some books, not really contributing to the research effort.
“Sorry,” Sam said quietly as he came to sit by you. “I didn’t mean to ruin your holidays.”
“It’s alright,” you said, not really feeling it but not wanting to sound petty, either.
“I can tell you’re upset. Hell, even Dean can tell you’re upset.”
“You know, Dean’s better at reading people than people give him credit for,” you said, always quick to defend inappropriate criticism of Dean.
“Ok, you’re right, that was a low blow. But you’re still upset, and I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, well, solve the case fast enough and maybe we can do Christmas on Boxing Day at least.”
He gave your arm a friendly squeeze before standing up again and heading back to the shelves.
“I think I found it!” Dean called from somewhere. You stood to go find him.
---
It turned out to be a very quick case, over by late evening Christmas Eve. It was late enough that ordinarily you’d all head back to the motel room and go home early the next morning, but Dean suggested something different. “How about we head back to the bunker tonight, I’ll drive.”
“It’s pretty late,” Sam said, nursing a couple of injuries.
“You can sleep in the backseat until we get there. Won’t it be better to get to sleep in your own bed?”
“If you’re doing this for me, you don’t have to,” you said. “It’s fine, it’s just a stupid day. You don’t have to kill yourself driving late at night just for me.”
“No, come on, it’ll be nice to be back home.” He gave you that beautiful smile and you couldn’t help but melt.
You nodded, not trusting yourself to speak. Sam mumbled agreement and so you all piled into the Impala, Sam stretched out on the backseat. He was asleep almost instantly, and you weren’t too far behind.
---
“Hey, hey,” you woke to Dean whispering your name and gently shaking your shoulder. “Wake up.”
You looked around blearily, this wasn’t the bunker. It looked like the middle of nowhere. You started to ask Dean, but he held up his hand.
“Shh, don’t wake Sam,” he said, still whispering. “Come out of the car for a sec, I’ll explain it all.”
You looked at him quizzically but followed, closing the door as quietly as you could behind yourself. Dean took your hand and pulled you around to the front of the car. Your heart was racing; this was different

“I’m sorry Sam and I ruined the Christmas you had planned,” he said, standing very close to you. You looked up into his stunningly gorgeous face wanting nothing more than to kiss him, but knowing that he saw you like a little sister. “But I thought we could look for Santa delivering presents,” he said, gesturing to the huge expanse of the night sky you could see.
You laughed, “What am I, 7?”
“Well, ok, it doesn’t have to be Santa. But it’s a nice night for stargazing, and I wanted to make it up to you.” He reached up and brushed his thumb over your cheek. This was definitely new. You nodded in agreement and he took your hand again, pulling you up on to the top of the bonnet.
He scooted very close to you. You could feel his body heat, which was good in the freezing night air. You felt a wave of goosebumps break out over your skin, but you weren’t entirely sure if they were because of the cold or the proximity of Dean.
He reached behind him and grabbed a blanket you hadn’t seen was there, then put his arms around you and draped it across your shoulders. He was so close, so beautifully close. And yet, always so far.
He didn’t put his arms back down, like you were expecting.
He put a hand on your shoulder. What was he doing? He put his other hand on your cheek. So warm, so close. So... intimate.
You looked up into his big, green eyes.
He leaned in close.
Oh. Oh! This was happening!
His soft, Adonis-like lips were suddenly on yours. You closed your eyes and leant into the moment.
He pulled away, “Merry Christmas. Hope this makes up for having to be on the road.”
“Oh, this definitely makes up for it,” you said before capturing his lips again.
The stars looked down from above, forgotten.
.
.
.
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