#I think this is the first time I've been glad about major changes

[penguicorns-are-cool]

Nimona (movie) seems to have been made with the realization that it would reach a larger audience of people not necessarily in the more niche demographic of the book. Unlike the book, it does not start with the assumption that you have an idea of what the problem is or what societal issues it is addressing, the entire movie is introducing you to these issues.

and it does a great job of that. The movie does a great job, in my opinion, of introducing the concepts of transphobia, classism, ACAB, religion being used to enforce these things, and respectability politics among other things. While it doesn't name any of these things, it explains them in a way that can be easily used as an example in conversations, and since it's targeted towards kids, will be something that they can and will remember when learning about these concepts properly later on.

The book does a great job of building on those concepts. the respectability politics referenced in Ballister's and Nimona's relationship is a bit more nuanced, they call out the knights in a very ACAB way, the gov corruption goes deeper, Nimona's abuse goes deeper, the Joust is a more nuanced event with a more complex outcome than the knighting in the movie. And this works out really well because the book will not and did not reach such a large audience, it reached people who generally already had an idea of these concepts or people who are interested by the movie and want more.

[theladycarpathia]

I've seen too much stuff about Clipboard Buck and Tommy lately to not write this.

His boyfriend on a power trip should not be hot. 

“See,” Chim mutters under his breath, leaning over the rail to watch Buck down below. “I warned you.”

“So you did,” Tommy agrees, keeping his true thoughts to himself. Buck has the clipboard clenched in one hand, pen in the other, and directs a reluctant Hen and Eddie as they perform checks on the ambulance and the ladder. 

“He’s a menace,” Chim continues, with feeling. “He’s a dictator!”

“Uh huh,” Tommy says, watching the furrow in Buck’s forehead as he makes another tick. He gestures furiously towards something in one of the ladder’s compartments and Eddie puts down the jaws to argue back. 

“We keep hiding the clipboards,” Chim says darkly. “I don’t know where he keeps finding them all.”

“Unfortunately for you, I think that’s something they sell at most major retailers,” Tommy quips and rests his arms on the railing. 

He’s worked under power-crazed maniacs. He was in the army, and then he had Captain Gerrard. His own father was one fully for his way or the highway. 

Buck being like this should not be hot. And yet all Tommy can think about is lying naked on the bed while Buck does things to him from a very meticulous and organized list. 

Eddie makes an obscene gesture behind Buck’s back and Tommy smirks. 

“And this is Buck on a regular Tuesday,” Chim says and pops his gum. “Wait until you see Buck in an emergency or organize an event. It’s a good thing you stopped by. You need to know these kinds of things about a person before you get serious.”

“I’m glad to see you too, Chim,” Tommy says, although stopping to chat to Chimney hadn’t been on his agenda for today. He and Buck have had conflicting shifts lately, and they��ve barely seen each other. Texts and a few brief phone calls have been all they’ve had to get them by and Tommy finally had enough of it. Bobby doesn’t mind Tommy swinging by the firehouse and seeing Buck if they’re not on a call. And today is apparently so quiet that Buck has time to do a thorough inspection of the vehicles. 

“Are you?” Chim asks suddenly, twisting towards Tommy with a surprisingly calculating look. “Getting serious?”

Tommy just shrugs. He knows the answer, he’s just not entirely willing to discuss it yet. But it’s been long enough now that they keep toothbrushes and few essentials at each other’s houses, that they have evenings where they sprawl together in front of the TV, just happy to be together. Tommy knows about his sister, the loss of Daniel, the myth of Abby and has even read Taylor Kelly’s book. 

Which he did in bed, reading several segments out loud, much to Buck’s horror and embarrassment. 

“You seem to be,” Chim comments, and down below Hen throws a roll of surgical tape at Buck. “Not that I’m complaining. We like you, Buck likes you, you flew us into a hurricane…”

“I like him too,” Tommy says, because honestly he’s been smitten since Buck came up with that stupid motto back in the helicopter. “Funny to think that Evan and I never met before as he only got to join the 118 because I left.”

“You got there in the end,” Chim says. “I mean this as nicely as possible but you leaving worked out great for me. If you hadn’t left, there wouldn’t have been a space to fill. If Buck hadn’t joined us…”

“Then you would never have met Maddie when she came to LA,” Tommy says, understanding instantly. Funny how something that simple has changed so many lives. He doesn’t regret moving to Harbor, even with the closeness that the 118 has now. He wouldn’t be who he is otherwise, without that space to accept himself. If he didn’t have that, maybe he wouldn’t be the person brave enough to kiss Buck. “I get it.”

“Although,” Chim continues, still watching Buck down below. “We wouldn’t have the Clipboard Dictator if you had stayed…”

“You love it really,” Tommy says, because he knows Chim loves Buck. But then Buck’s eyes swing upwards, towards the first floor and the two of them. 

“Oh shit,” Chimney hisses and then ducks below the railing. It doesn’t work because Buck just shouts “Chim, it’s glass! I can see you!”

“That wasn’t your best idea,” Tommy says and then offers Chimney a hand. “Come on. I’ll go down with you. Maybe I can make the tyrant a little bit sweeter.”

Chimney doesn’t look soothed by this. 

“Hello, Chimney,” Hen says pointedly, sitting on the back of the ambulance. “Nice to see you. How funny you happened to be hiding in the bathroom when Buck gets his clipboard out.”

“I wasn’t hiding,” Chimney mutters, eying Buck’s clipboard with apprehension. “Kinard, save me.”

“Evan,” Tommy says, snagging his boyfriend’s free wrist with one hand. “I came by to see you. Maybe we give the workforce a five minute break?”

Buck frowns down at his list. “I wanted to finish this before Bobby was done with his paperwork,” he says before looking suspiciously at his friends. “And if they leave, I don’t think they’ll come back.”

“Damn straight,” Eddie says under his breath. Hen just looks innocent, although Tommy is pretty sure they’re about to see three empty firefighter shaped spaces. 

“Just ten minutes,” Tommy cajoles, stroking the soft part of Buck’s wrist with his thumb. “I haven’t seen you all week.” He drops his voice down for the next part, hoping that Buck is as desperate to see him. “I’ll make it worth your while.”

Buck practically throws the clipboard at Eddie. 

“Taking a break!” he says cheerfully, half dragging Tommy behind the engine. “Be back in ten or I will hunt you down.”

“Will he do it with a chainsaw, I wonder?” Hen has time to ask (Tommy feels as though he should follow up on this later), before all three of them vanish. Tommy doesn’t see because he’s pressing his boyfriend up against the gleaming red of the engine and kissing the breath out of him. 

“What can we do in ten minutes?” Buck asks, eyes glittering, running his hands up and down Tommy’s chest. 

“Probably not a lot, as we’re in the open, in a firehouse, during your workday,” Tommy admits begrudgingly. A week is a very long time. Buck’s salacious texts and suggestive selfies haven’t been enough. “But we have time off in two days and I want to spend every second with you.”

“Good,” Buck says and the next few minutes pass very quickly. Buck tastes of coffee and he keeps both hands planted on Tommy’s rear - if he keeps squeezing like that, Tommy is going to have difficulty walking out of here. 

“I think we order takeout and movies and don’t leave the house for twenty-four hours,” Tommy suggests, just as Buck licks the shell of his ear. Fuck. This kid will be the death of him. 

“Fine by me,” Buck says and pulls him in for one last kiss. “But I really should get back to work. Call you when I’m off?”

There’s such obvious suggestion in his voice that want searches in Tommy’s gut almost instantly. He pushes it down and strokes Buck’s rather red jaw. 

“Can’t wait,” he says. “And Evan? Go easy on your friends.”

But the others are waiting for them, standing in a line by the stairs, obvious glee written all over their faces. Eddie is holding Buck’s clipboard and Tommy deftly removes it from his grasp. 

“Why, Mr Buckley,” Hen says, looking them up and down with a smirk. “That’s not a proper use of company time.”

“Ha ha,” Buck says mutinously, and with far more confidence than someone wearing a ridiculous amount of beard burn should have. “We have a lot to do. Where’s the…?”

Tommy hastily recaps the pen and hands it back to Buck, as though nothing is changed. He’d feel bad about it if it was an official document. But as it was Buck’s handwritten list of chores, he thinks the others might get some amusement out of it. 

He kisses Buck on the cheek and waves goodbye, quickly ducking out of the firehouse before Buck notices. 

“Who vandalized my list?” Buck shrieks indignantly and Tommy just skips all the way back to his truck.

[barcaatthemoon]

obvious || ruesha littlejohn x reader ||

Both you and Ruesha are a bit oblivious to your feelings for each other.

Your feelings for Ruesha hit you like a ton of bricks in the midst of a shit storm. It was like your whole world was being spun around onto its head, and then, you had a crush on your national team captain's ex. Ruesha and Katie weren't getting back together, but a part of you was terrified about what might happen if you acted on your feelings. Their breakup was messy, and despite claims that there weren't sides on the national team, you knew that wasn't true.

At first, you had been on Katie's 'side' of things. She was your Arsenal teammate and captain, not to mention a family friend. She had been a great mentor in your football journey. Ruesha had always been there in the background of things. She had been Katie's girlfriend for the majority of the time that you'd known her, and even before they broke up, you had harbored a little crush on the woman.

Ruesha was a loud troublemaker, and everybody told you that nothing good would come from associating with her. You let yourself hang out with her a bit, but kept your distance as much as you could. At least you had until Jonas dropped you down a league. Once you found yourself having to show up to London City Lioness practices, things started to change a bit.

"Celtic are mad for not taking you," Ruesha muttered as the two of you watched a stream of their first Champions' League game. Shebhan was taking meticulous notes on it while you and Ruesha were lounging on the couch, half paying attention. Ruesha was easily distracted while you hadn't been able to keep your eyes off of her. "You'd be tearing it up right now, I just know it."

"Eh, there's always the future. I've got a few good seasons left in me," you said. Ruesha glanced over just as you reminded yourself not to look so sad. You were happy to be playing with Ruesha at London City, even if it wasn't Arsenal. You had wanted to leave the club, but you hadn't ever expected to get traded down a league.

"Don't worry about them, bunch of idiots if you ask me." Ruesha put her hand on your knee, squeezing slightly. You swallowed nervously as you looked over at her, and for a moment, you thought that maybe you saw something in her eyes that was quickly covered up. "Think on the brightside, if you'd gone to Celtic, then we wouldn't be playing together."

"You're meant to be cheering her up, Ruesha, not giving her depression," Shebhan teased. Ruesha immediately put all of her attention into kicking at and trying to fight with her sister while you watched. You laughed it off a little, glad to have a moment to steady your racing thoughts. Being close to Ruesha like this was definitely easier than it had been whenever she was with Katie, but it was still hard. You doubted that she'd be into you for a multitude of reasons. She may have stopped calling you 'kid' all the time, but that didn't mean she saw you as much more than that.

…

You were limping as you were subbed off. It was nothing serious, just a little pulled muscle. You could be playing in the next game if you rested properly according to the trainer. You'd come into your spot as a starter on the team quickly, but you didn't mind spending a game on the bench. There had been a lot of improvements all around, and you wanted your teammates to be able to showcase them.

"I got you an ice pack," Ruesha said as she slid into the spot next to you on the bench. Your hamstrings and calves had always done this a little bit. It was a side effect of the physical exertion you put yourself through to stay in top shape. Ruesha had been around you long enough to know what you needed for a speedy recovery.

"When the hell did you start acting so sweet?" Emma yelled before you could thank Ruesha. You watched as she started to get into a little banter with Emma. It was kind of funny, but they were both getting a bit loud, so you took it upon yourself to distract Ruesha.

"Thanks Rue," you mumbled as you cupped Ruesha's cheeks. Immediately, she went completely silent and began ignoring Emma in favor of you. She gave you a smile and little pat to your thigh.

"Anytime you need something, you know where I am," Ruesha told you. You let your hand fall from her face to rest next to hers. Sometime as the teams were going back to the locker room, Ruesha took your hand in hers, claiming that it was for support. You believed her, but many of your teammates didn't.

You could hear them teasing Ruesha as you showered and got dressed. At her request, you waited for Ruesha, who carried your things for you. Ruesha got some content for her vlog while you sat in the back with Georgia, one of the only teammates at your new team who you had confided about your feelings for Ruesha in.

"You know, she's very obviously just as down bad for you as you are her," Georgia pointed out.

"No, she's not," you argued. Georgia scoffed as she rolled her eyes at you. "Also, shut up. You're not quiet enough for us to be having this conversation on the bus."

"Don't worry, you're not subtle, neither of you. Ruesha would have carried you onto the bus if you asked her to, but instead she carried your bag for you. And don't you dare say that it's because you're hurt because she is always the first one to you when you need or want something. Everybody definitely thinks that you're together already."

"Pssh, Ruesha doesn't want me. Nobody wants me, that's why I'm here. I wasn't good enough for Arsenal. I wasn't good enough for A-,"

"Nope, we aren't doing this again!" Georgia cut you off. She stood up and much to your horror, called out for Ruesha, "Rue, get off your camera and come here!"

"Why are you being so bossy?" Ruesha asked as she made her way to where Georgia was sitting. "I told you already, if you're so set on finding a man, they don't like that."

"Shut up, sit down, and tell (Y/n) how you feel because I'm not listening to her dense ass cry about how nobody wants her and she's not good enough," Georgia said. She went up to steal Ruesha's old seat and give the two of you a bit of privacy.

"What's she on about?" Ruesha asked you. It was the first time in a while that you had seen her be so serious. "Why do you think that nobody wants you?"

"Because nobody does, I'm not good enough. I don't get why you're always so nice to me, I'm a failure." You looked close to tears. The game had gone well, so you should have been happy, but it was hard when all you could think about was being thrown down the ladder.

"God, she's right," Ruesha sighed. "Alright, I'm going to stop you for one second because I find it so incredibly rude that you think I'm not head over heels in love with your stupid, oblivious ass. Yeah, so maybe a certain girl didn't want you back at Arsenal, but that doesn't mean the world thinks you're some horrid, ugly creature. Also, I have not been subtle. Do you think I'd be so nice to just anybody here? Are you a brick because you are dense as fuck. Georgia's right, I do like you a lot, and maybe I shouldn't have been subtle about it."

"You were not subtle!" Emma and Georgia both yelled from a couple rows ahead. The rest of the bus murmured in agreement, and suddenly, you felt a bit stupid for not realizing it sooner.

"Now, in some cases, this would be cause for a bit of fuckery, but I like you far too much to suggest that, so, when we get back, I'm taking you to dinner. I'll walk you to that stupid, swanky apartment of yours, give you a very sensible kiss, and then we'll meet for breakfast next practice after you tell G how good of a kisser I am," Ruesha said. "That sound alright to you?"

"Yeah, it sounds nice."

[undersprite]

...

Ah, jeez, did anyone remember to dust in here while I was away?

Hello, everyone—CHAOS_FANTAZY here, former entrant and judge to the Undertale/Deltarune Sprite Comic contest. It's been a while since the previous one hosted in 2021, but I've been thinking about running this contest again ever since.

So why not now?

As of right now, I've reopened the official contest Discord server in preparation for the 3rd """annual""" comic contest—slated to run throughout the summer, with the submission period running from June through August. I'm making this post to inform everyone of the contest's return, with all the general information given below:

Huh? What? Sprite Comic Contest? I don't understand anything!

A sprite comic, as its name suggests, is a web comic that uses sprites rather than artwork as the main means of depicting its subjects. This is commonly done to produce fan comics for video games, and Undertale is no exception—many prolific AUs, including @invertedfate, began as sprite comics.

This is a contest to produce a sprite comic about Undertale or Deltarune—a game jam but with comics, as it were. If you've ever had an idea for a story you want to tell using these games' characters or setting, but could never justify dedicating time to telling it...this is the excuse you need!

Who's running this show now?

As aforementioned, it's me, CHAOS_FANTAZY! I'm joined by a panel of three volunteer judges, Mufeet, Subna, and Soufon (Whom, much like myself, has no major social media platforms). All four of us are not only long-time Undertale fans who can remember when sprite comics were a highly popular storytelling format, but also participants in previous sprite comic contests!

What's in it for me?

Although he's no longer directly involved in running the contest, the former host @fmsdraws has graciously offered to supply it with illustrated prizes. Additionally, we have a small cash prize pool to distribute among the top three (Via Paypal/Cashapp, or an alternative if both of these are unavailable to the winner):

First place will receive $25, and a custom illustration with up to two characters from Fms.

Second place will receive $15, and a one-character custom illustration from Fms.

Third place will receive $10, and a custom sprite from Fms.

Additional prizes may be added to this pool over the next week or so; this post will be edited to reflect these changes.

How do I participate?

I'm glad you asked! Our official Discord server is not only the proper avenue to send a submission, it also contains all the official rules regarding the production and submission thereof. (The original contest's rules are here, but there have been some revisions and modernizations made since.)

As aforementioned, the contest is planned to run through August—make sure you get your submission in by 11:59 PM EST on August 31st!

That's all for now. Good luck, everyone!

[angelicsjn]

Rugby bits are the best!

Can I request Laten bringing you home to meet his family for the first time in a break from university

He cares about his family so much and I’d love to know more about how they’d react to their boy getting a gf and how they’d treat her

LATEN REED.

A N: I love Latennnnn.

A B O U T: You meet Laten's family!

W A R N I N G S: None.

Laten's mom had been waiting for this moment — she's so excited. Her boy fell in love, how crazy is that.

She knows what he's like, how hard he found it to connect with others, so when he tells her about you (before you knew it was a relationship, lmao) she was beyond excited and had been waiting to meet you since.

But between uni, rugby, life, work, you name it, you both never found the time to go and visit his family. So in between that space, his mom added you on social media and would like the majority of your stuff, commenting things like, 'Beautiful!' underneath your selfies and posts with Laten.

Much like Laten, she's an aggressive lover, and loud about it, too, she loved you before you both met.

"Thank you, the dinner was amazing." You said, a polite smile across your lips as you drank from your glass of water. Laten and his younger brother, Daniel, played with the dog as their mom set her gaze upon you, "I'm so glad that I've finally met you. Laten has said so much about you." Her words caused a blush to creep upon your cheeks.

Laten didn't seem like the type to talk about people like that, especially somebody like you, his partner. But he does, all the time. You reminded him that he can love. You looked over his way, his smile wide as he picked up the dog with a laugh, Daniel running after them as they shot out the back door.

"He changed after his dad died. I'm glad he's met someone who understands him." You sat quietly and thought on her words, you didn't know about his dad. He never said anything about him. Suddenly you felt guilty, you could have been there for him, understood him better, maybe you wouldn't have judged him so harshly when you first met. "I'm sorry for your loss." Was all you could muster up to say, but she shook her head and smiled, "It's just life. Can't control it."

From then on, you looked at Laten differently. It made more sense as to why he is the way he is; his unemotional availability and then how suffocating his love can feel at times; he doesn't want to lose anymore.

As you looked around his bedroom, photos of him and his friends from school stuck to the wall around certificates and a shelf full of trophies; clearly he's always been a winner. The room is a dark shade of blue with the bedsheets to match and you could tell that he hadn't had it decorated in years, the paint scuffed on the edges of the wall and the furniture chipped at from years of use. It felt cost and it's scent was all him, your favourite scent.

"You good?" He asked, walking in with his towel around his waist, the water dripping from his curls of honey and down his body, he looked almost edible. You watched as he gathered his PJs and got himself dry and dressed.

"Yeah. You?" You asked back, he turned his back to you as he shot a quick, "Yep." Once he turned back, he sat on the edge of the bed and stroked your leg gently, "I knew they'd like you." He smiled, his green eyes twinkling,

"I'm glad." You said sincerely, at first you were worried but as soon as you stepped into their home, you felt welcomed automatically. "But my mom won't shut up about marriage now..." He laughed a bit, but you couldn't unsee the look of curiosity in his eyes as he watched you.

"We're a bit young for that, don't you think?" You questioned, not knowing what to say. He smiled and lay down on the bed, putting his arm underneath his head, his bicep flexing. "One day." He said before squeezing your leg gently.

[thankssteveditko]

Sony's PlayStation 5 Presents Insomniac's Marvel's Spider-Man 2 (the third game in the series)

I beat the main story and have enjoyed my time with the game overall! I want to talk about spoilers and things that I liked and disliked in the story, so here's a post with some scattered thoughts.

(Hello! I haven't forgotten that this blog exists! Like I said, no update schedule, I will read more of the Lee/Ditko comics whenever I make time for it. I've actually been sitting on a mostly-complete version of this post since I beat the game in October, thinking that I'd finish the rest of the side quests so I could throw in thoughts on those. But... eh, I'll do that whenever the inevitable DLC rolls around. I just wanna get these thoughts posted.)

Spider-Cop No More

First off: they downplayed the cop shit!!! This was the first thing that really struck me about the game, and I'm stunned that they actually listened to criticism on this. I thought we'd just be stuck with it forever.

It'll never be completely gone, of course. Spider-Man is always going to leave criminals webbed up for the police to take to prison, hoping that they'll do their time and come out the other side as Productive Members of Society. That's just a thing I begrudgingly accept as part of the genre that will probably never go away. But Spider-Man is no longer repairing police surveillance networks. You're no longer beating the shit out of random drug dealers. Gangs of escaped convicts still wearing their orange jumpsuits are no longer terrorizing the streets of New York.

Instead, Peter and Miles are played more as firefighters. Sometimes very literally! They work with firefighters, they rescue people from collapsing buildings, they rush injured people to the hospital. In general there's a huge increase in the number of random onlookers present during the big action setpieces, and the Spider-Men frequently have to save them from harm. One of the major side quest lines is even literally about a cult of arsonists, and you'll routinely find burning fuel tanker trucks you have to extinguish with your webs. It's great! Love this for them.

I also generally liked the side missions in this. There's a lot of good stuff with the Spider-Men being neighborhood heroes willing to help out anyone in need, no matter the problem. Some of them can get corny, sure, but that street level stuff has always been the real heart of Spider-Man to me.

Gameplay

The gameplay's as fun as ever. That probably goes without saying. I will not be spending a thousand words explaining that swinging is fun.

In particular, I really liked the changes to the Focus mechanic. I never loved the way Miles' game made you choose between healing and doing your special attacks, but here your four specials have their own cooldowns, and the Focus meter is spent on either healing or finishers. It still offers that risk/reward element, but those vicious cycles where you can't do any real damage because you keep needing to heal aren't nearly as bad as they were before.

Personally I didn't turn off the swing assist or turn on fall damage, because the streamlined swinging never bothered me in these games, but I'm glad the options are there for people who want them.

Kraven

I liked Kraven in this! I liked the way they leaned into his Hunters being this weird death cult, and him wanting to go down in a blaze of glory against a worthy foe, to the point that he's actually disappointed anytime a foe can't kill him. It riffs on things people liked in Kraven's Last Hunt without being the exact same story. I like that Kraven's gang is renting out this manor or whatever and just being a complete terror to the wait staff. I liked the way Kraven hunting Peter's rogues' gallery clashed with Peter's belief in giving his villains second chances. I liked that they were willing to have Kraven kill off a couple of the minor villains from the first game to sell how dangerous he is. (I know some people hated this, but like, come on. We already fought the Sinister Six. They don't need to do that again.) I like the way Kraven pushed Peter to the absolute brink, turning him more and more aggressive with the Black Suit. Good stuff all around, even if the Hunter enemy types did wear out their welcome a little bit by the end.

The Black Suit arc

I think I liked the way Insomniac handled Peter's Black Suit arc overall, but there's a tradeoff here.

They REALLY lean into the body horror tentacle stuff, with Black Suit Peter basically just being a skinny Venom by the end. The sequence where you play as Mary Jane while the symbiote puppets an unconscious Peter's body around and goes on a rampage against the Hunters was REALLY great at selling how scary Peter is becoming, and it made me completely change my tune on the inclusion of the MJ stealth missions in the sequel. Having to beat an out-of-control Peter as Miles immediately after Peter beats Kraven was also really good. This is all cool!

BUT, the thing is... with the symbiote powers being so freaky from the start, it really pushes my suspension of disbelief when Peter and co. take so long to become wary of it. I guess when you've been bitten by a radioactive spider and given superpowers, and when you live in the same universe as the Avengers and the X-Men, your perception of what's "normal" is going to be pretty warped. But they buy the whole "organic exosuit created to treat Harry's illness" story WAY too easily lmao. How do the self-aware slime tentacles help with his illness, exactly?

And I'm not sure how I feel about giving Peter Anti-Venom powers in the last act. It feels like it's primarily a concession so that they can give players that branch of their skill tree back, but honestly, the designer in me thinks it would be really cool (if risky) to just permanently lock players out of Peter's most powerful skills past a certain point. Yeah, it'd definitely piss people off, but it drives home the idea that Peter's given up greater power because it's the right thing to do. It'd put you in his shoes! Instead he just gets the symbiote powers back, but it's fine because the Venom voice in his head is gone and also the slime tendrils that explode out of his body are white now, which means they're good.

I have to say it. I'm sorry. The glistening white goo... they turned Peter into the Amazing Cum-Man. I changed back to the Classic Suit after rolling the credits and forgot I still had the Anti-Venom skills equipped, so I just saw regular old Spider-Man exploding his white goo everywhere. Terrible.

Assuming Peter is just stepping into more of a supporting role to Miles and not fully retiring after the events of this game, I really hope the Anti-Venom stuff is gone. I get that he needed it to counter Venom, but that's not what I want for Peter Parker.

Miles

Miles is good in this, and I really like his arc where he struggles with whether or not he should avenge his dad by killing Martin Li. I like how all that plays out. Unfortunately, they don't quite stick the landing when it comes to making him and Peter feel like equals in terms of narrative focus. His arc is definitely the B-plot to Peter's for the middle chunk of the story, which I guess was kind of inevitable since they decided to do the Black Suit arc. But Miles does at least get a lot of moments to shine, and by the end he's very much taking the lead as the main Spider-Man.

Becoming the main Spider-Man also gets Miles a new, wholly original suit that ended up being super controversial, and honestly... I kinda like it? Or at least I like what it's going for, even if the actual design could still use some work. It's something totally unique for Miles, and I like spandex/streetwear combo suits like what the Spider-Verse movies have popularized. But showing his hair is really pushing the limits of his secret identity. He hangs around Brooklyn Visions WAY too much for his classmates to not recognize his voice and haircut. And I understand why people would be wary about it becoming his "canon" look moving forward. But I think it's got potential.

On the subject of Miles, though, I will say that while I liked Miles' side missions, it feels like he's often saddled with the game's broad, kinda touristy, kinda token attempts at Showcasing The Diversity Of New York, in a way that Peter isn't.

I like that Miles has a deaf graffiti artist girlfriend that he and Ganke sign with, and I like that there's a series of side missions that explore some local jazz history, and I like that there's a mission where Miles helps a gay classmate ask his crush to prom. I like all these things! I like Spider-Man being involved with his community, and that said community includes such a wide variety of people! I like that this game slows down to savor these types of moments instead of just being all action all the time! But when I step back, I notice some patterns.

Hailey doesn't have a big role in the main plot, especially when compared to MJ, but Miles gets a side mission where you briefly play as her with muffled audio to teach you what being deaf is like. There are no major queer characters in the story - unless you count Felicia showing up for exactly one mission to mention she has an unseen, unnamed girlfriend in Paris now - but you get a side mission where Miles helps out a gay couple at his school, who then never come up again. To put it very uncharitably, they can feel like Very Special Episode missions. It's like the devs going: we're going to give Miles a Gay Mission, and an Impaired Hearing Mission, and a Cultural History Mission, so that we can say we touched on these things, but we're gonna make them all optional and keep them far away from the full-blown Superhero Stuff like fighting costumed villains. Those flavors cannot mix. Meanwhile, Peter gets to have a whole elaborate subplot about teaming up with Wraith to track down fucking Cletus Kasady. There's an imbalance here, and I think it's part of the reason why Peter still feels like the "main" Spider-Man for so much of the story.

I think this was all written with admirable intentions, but as others have pointed out, you can kinda tell that this game was mainly written by some white guys based in California. These attempts at depicting various marginalized groups can feel kind of detached in the same way that Insomniac's map of New York doesn't quite line up with the real thing. But I dunno. I'm not really the one to dig deep into some of this stuff as a white woman from Florida. I would be curious to read others' takes on this.

Maybe I'm just being overly cynical about the writers' well-meaning but corny and kinda out of touch liberal politics because of the podcasts.

The podcasters

I wish Jameson was in this more! They psyched us out by giving him a full character model for, like, two scenes. I like him being MJ's boss, but I wish we saw inside the Daily Bugle offices to get more Jameson.

At least his podcasts are better than the ones in the Miles game, though. Him completely trusting in Roxxon was just too much for me. Here he condemns Oscorp for the symbiote shit, and he also gets some moments where he takes the ongoing crises seriously and isn't just ranting about the Spider-Men. He isn't just a conspiracy theorist crackpot here. Shit like his "fuck Spider-Man, we have a justice system for a reason" speech makes him feel more like a human being with a point of view, rather than just a caricature. Definitely an improvement.

Unfortunately, I still find The Danikast grating. I'm sorry, Ashly Burch. It's not your fault. The quirky heckin' wholesome millennial podcaster lady who catches you up on current events and then reminds you to drink 64 ounces of water a day in the same breath is just too much for me. At least she doesn't have any lines as bad as her throwing in a "damn" and then going (direct quote here) "That's right - no censoring! That's how REAL I'm being right now!" like in Miles' game. Instead they give her this, like, almost psychic insight into the main plot to try and make her the angel on Peter's shoulder. The second Peter gets the symbiote she's like "Wow, y'all. Have you seen Spider-Man's new black suit? Something's different about him. He's been giving me such bad vibes lately. #NotMySpiderMan" Also she's supposed to be this, like, underdog independent podcaster who started her show on a whim and has become the voice of the people... but she's got billboards plastered all over the fucking city. Which makes her feel like an industry plant lmao

Again, there's a detachment with the writing. This is, like, some middle aged white liberal game dev guys' idea of what a modern leftist teenager would think is a Cool Activism Podcast. Unfortunately, because Insomniac thinks Danika's a hero, Mary Jane's triumphant ending is that she quits her job at the Bugle to become a podcaster, too, delivering a thinly veiled monologue about the pandemic to kick off her new podcast literally titled "The New Normal." She's going to save the world with podcasting, because that's the highest form of activism, I guess.

Venom

So! Venom! Venom was... okay.

Surprising no one, Harry Osborn is Venom. Harry's okay both as himself and as Venom, but I'm not sure his arc is a smooth one. He starts out as Peter's comically perfect best friend who returns to reminisce about the good ol' days and hand him his dream job on a silver platter, and then later he becomes a little ball of rage over the fact that Peter gets his symbiote and can't/won't give it back. I'm not sure that pivot is handled the most convincingly. You kind of have to write it off as the symbiote messing with their heads, I guess.

When he actually becomes Venom, I'm... mixed on the execution. On the one hand, the cool factor is absolutely there. He's a very cool big monster, and Tony Todd is great in the role. But he also wants to take over the world and make everyone a symbiote, and aside from any lingering resentment towards Peter, that's really all there is to him. It makes for a good video game to have a bunch of symbiote enemies and creepy symbiote nests and symbiote tentacles climbing up the sides of buildings in the last act... but is that really what I want out of Venom? Probably not. But he sure does look cool as a big monster guy to fight, and I was happy he was briefly playable.

Suits

Part of me feels like there's something lacking about the suit selection here, but almost every suit I liked in the previous games is back, and also I'm the type of person to give Peter the Classic Suit the second I unlock it and use that for most of the game. So does it really matter for me?

Peter's selection feels dominated by the various live action movie suits, but I get that those are going to be some of the suits people want to wear the most. I wish he had the Peter B. Parker skin to go with Miles' Spider-Verse alts, though. No idea why it's missing. Really I think I mainly just want more of the Spider-Verse designs.

Also I've complained about how most of the original suits designed for these games make Peter and Miles look like they were bitten by radioactive Alienware products, but I can just, you know. Wear other suits.

Misc thoughts

Everyone's already made this joke, but it's extremely funny that the Avengers didn't help with the symbiote invasion. Took one look at that and decided it wasn't their problem

On the subject of other superheroes, I do wish these games would acknowledge the Fantastic Four more. Peter's close relationship with that team feels woefully underutilized in his various adaptations

I like the trope of a boss fight that's a heightened version of a personal conflict between two people who are close, where throughout the fight the boss is airing out their grievances while the hero tries to get through to them emotionally. That especially works for Spider-Man! But WOW has Insomniac played that card a lot of times by the end of Spider-Man 2 lol

They're teasing the addition of Silk, I guess? I'm gonna be honest, I don't know shit about Silk, but I guess it was inevitable that they'd give us some form of Spider-Woman at some point. Gotta work all those costumes in somehow, and they're not brave enough to let one of the boys cosplay as Spider-Gwen.

They WERE, however, brave enough to let Harry say he loves Peter. I liked that little moment. They presumably meant it platonically, but clearly ol' Yaoi Lowenthal knows what's up

Post-leak addendum

So, obviously, by the time I got around to finishing this post the big Insomniac leak happened. I wish the game industry wasn't so secretive that it took a massive, dangerous data breach just to get our hands on some very basic info that would be public knowledge if Insomniac was a film studio, but here we are.

We now know that Insomniac spent somewhere around $315 million making Spider-Man 2 - triple what the first Spider-Man game cost to make. A quote about this from a leaked presentation has been stuck in my head ever since I first saw it on Twitter. “Is 3x the investment in [Spider-Man 2] evident to anyone who plays the game?”

To be honest, I'm not sure it is.

I liked Spider-Man 2, but I'd probably say that overall I liked it about as much as the first game. It's certainly a somewhat bigger game, with marginally more realistic looking graphics thanks to the power of the PS5. But I think I could do without ray tracing and more realistic hair rendering and whatnot if it meant that these games didn't take like five years and hundreds of millions of dollars to make. I could not give less of a shit if the swinging animations were recycled between games. I'd be fine with them being shorter, too.

I like these games, but as we look at that leaked project lineup and realize that Insomniac is turning into The Marvel Game Studio, I think about how many smaller, more original games that those resources could go towards if they scaled back the Marvel stuff just a bit. How many Ape Escapes or Patapons or Gravity Rushes could get made for the budget of just one of these massive AAA tentpole games of Sony's, which are apparently barely even breaking even? How many could be made for the budget of the "smaller, cheaper" Miles Morales game, which somehow cost $156 million to make despite using an updated version of the same Manhattan map from the first game? Hell, how many smaller games could have been made with the $39 million that went into remastering the first Spider-Man game for PS5 a mere two years after launch? How many people will lose their jobs if any one of Insomniac's upcoming Marvel games underperforms - which, in this case, could mean selling "only" 5 million copies? And would hardcore PlayStation fans even accept those smaller games at this point, now that they've been trained to only appreciate mega-budget Prestige Games with cutting edge graphics and treat everything else with disdain? How much worse will this get as the graphical arms race continues?

I think I just miss Japan Studio. Fuck Sony. Uhh but anyway the Spider-Man game this post was supposed to be about was good, some writing complaints aside. 8/10

[writeyouin]

I can imagine Y/N coming back home from a date with Mirage and they just give Noah a call like "I'm so glad you tried to steal that car that day. You just got me a boyfriend, thanks, man!"

Mirage X Reader - Flirtatious Meeting Part 2 of 2 - Date Night

A/N - Hey, so I incorporated this into part 2, I hope you all enjoy it. I've watched the Mirage vids on Youtube an Ungodly amount of times until I can see the film again.

Warnings - None.

Rating - T

You were beyond upset upon coming back from Peru with Noah and the Autobots. In only a short while, you had been faced with the prospect of alien life, your planet had been threatened, and you had borne witness to the death of Airazor.

Moreover, your new friend and ally Mirage was… Well, Optimus Prime and the other Autobots assured you that he wasn’t dead, but that in giving up the majority of his body to be used as Noah’s battle armour, he wasn’t entirely functional. It was like Mirage was in a coma, and he would remain that way until his body was rebuilt around his processor and exoskeleton.

So much for your date, though after getting to know Mirage, you weren’t entirely sure if he had only been toying with you when you first met. Either way, you just wanted him to be okay.

Fortunately, Noah had promised you that he was going to do everything in his power to restore Mirage to his former glory, even if he had to use a network of his criminal friends to get spare parts.

You supposed that given the circumstances, you should be happy about how things had turned out. Stuck between relief at your planet’s survival, and despondency over all that had occurred, you settled for contentment with your scenario. When you got home, you would be sure to continue your old life, even if you felt that you had outgrown it exponentially.

Over the next few months, much changed, but there was a lot that stayed the same. You were given a job as part of a secret organisation that allowed you to continue working with the Autobots. Frankly, you felt rather out of your depth, but the Autobots had your back and insisted that you were one of the few humans they were willing to cooperate with; thanks to them, you didn’t have to worry about job security as you learned your way around your new role.

However, at the end of the night, you still went back to your old apartment, sometimes meeting up with friends, but more often than not, you were alone, due to conflicting schedules. Then, you would crash on the sofa, flick through some TV channels which usually disinterested you, and eventually call it a night and head to bed.

It was on such a night that Mirage found you. He stood on his tiptoes in the dead of night, trying to get a glimpse into your apartment, and it was there that he saw you watching E.T. of all things, snuggled in an old blanket hugging your knees to your chest.

Although Mirage always faked confidence to the best of his ability, he was somewhat concerned that you wouldn’t like the way he looked now. Before, his plating was beautiful, sleek Cybertronian plating with a paint job worth bragging about. Now however, he was a mess of spare parts, most of which were rusty and all of which had been upcycled from wrecked cars that weren’t worth thinking about.

Still, he was functional, and he had promised you a date.

Summoning a confident smile that would have earned him a free drink from the right bartender back home, Mirage tapped on your window.

You looked curiously over expecting to find children chucking pebbles at windows and then running away in an immature game. Upon seeing Mirage who gave a half wave, you jumped up, hurrying over and opening the window.

“So, I go away for a while and you cheat on me with an alien who can barely even talk,” Mirage remarked, gesturing to the TV.

“Oh my God, you’re okay,” You exclaimed unwilling to be sidetracked.

“I am.”

“And you’re really here.”

“In the metal plating.”

“And I’m in my pyjamas,” You finished lamely, looking down at the Marvin the Martian tee and sweatpants you were wearing.

You crossed your arms self-consciously.

“I’ve seen worse looks,” Mirage replied in a blasé manner.

You laughed quietly, tears reaching your eyes. “It’s good to see you Mirage… Are you really alright?”

“Alright? I’ve never been better. See, tonight’s our date night, so, unless you’re super invested in that shrivelled raisin, I believe I promised you a night at the drive-in.”

Mirage held out his servo for you to climb on. You glanced back into your apartment. “Okay, give me a sec to get changed.”

“No, no, no,” Mirage shook his head. “Keep the PJs. They’re cute. Besides, E.T. on the TV, Marvin the Martian on your clothes, a date with me. Call it a hunch but I think you’ve got a thing about aliens.”

“Let’s hope you have a thing for humans then, or this may not be a good match,” You winked flirtatiously.

“Oh, you better believe it, now come on, I’m itching to get back on the road.”

“Just promise me one thing.”

“Sure, whatever you want.”

“Drive as fast as you can.”

Mirage revved his engines excitedly, already finding you to be the most fascinating person in his life, “You bet!”

You sat in Mirage’s passenger seat, the two of you on a hill that overlooked the Drive-In. It was far better than being in the parking lot since this was just you and him, and he had hacked the theatre’s speakers so you could both hear the film through his radio.

The film playing was a new release, The Mask, and it had both you and Mirage howling with laughter.

Yet, while the movie played, you were still left wondering whether Mirage was serious about a relationship or whether this was just some fun game for him. After all, he was a magnificent, witty, giant robot, who had seen so much in his life traversing space. And you? Well, you were only human.

After the film was over, Mirage drove you back to your apartment, parking in the alley so he could lift you back up to your window.

“Tonight was fun,” You smiled. “…You’re fun.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I’m the best guy you’ve ever met,” Mirage complimented himself. “So, same time next week?”

“Sure. Sounds like a plan.”

“Alright, yeah!” Mirage pumped his fist to his body in celebration. “So I’ll see you later?”

“Any time you want.”

“And?”

“And…?” You asked cluelessly.

“And I deserve a little something before I go. A little kiss on the cheek. Something to think about while we’re apart.”

He motioned you over towards him with his helm, “Come on, gimme a little, a little sugar, a little boost for the night.”

You chuckled, leaning on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek. Mirage swivelled his head to kiss your lips at the last moment.

“Woo, yeah, that’s what I’m talking about,” He exclaimed upon parting.

You blushed, “So, this is all real then. You’re actually serious about dating me? Even though I’m a human.”

“As serious as you are about dating an Autobot,” Mirage declared proudly.

“Good, ‘cos I’ll be thinking about that kiss all week… and thinking about what we can do together next week.”

“Oh, there we go. That’s a way to keep a guy motivated about a relationship. Mm, yeah, this is gonna be wild. All right, I’ll catch you later, baby.”

With that Mirage transformed and drove off, hooting and hollering. He got into three more police chases before returning to base, his excitement serving only to rile him up.

With Mirage out of sight, you hurried to grab your phone, picking up the phonebook with it and then punching in Noah’s number. You paced as far through your kitchenette as the landline would let you, twirling your fingers up in the cord.

“Hello, Noah Diaz speaking,” Noah answered dutifully, expecting that it would be a call from his mother’s work, demanding her to work overtime.

“Noah,” You squealed, “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“(Y/N)?”

“Mirage just came over. He looks great. Thank you for saving his life.”

“Yeah,” Noah said dazedly, “No worries.”

“Seriously Noah, I’m so glad you tried to steal him that night. You scored me the best boyfriend ever!”

[gachagen]

When I first started playing Reverse: 1999 I was expecting for Vertin to be a very boring protagonist who was maybe even silent the majority of her time on screen, but I really just think that's because these past few years I've only really been playing Hoyoverse games where the protagonist is either a quirky, eccentric girl or a silent person going about their day lol. I've forgotten how great it is when we get an actual protagonist with a realistic personality and rationale!

I also think Bluepoch kept Vertin shrouded in mystery on purpose, because in all of the adverts for this game with Vertin she only ever says a few nondescript lines here and there, and even on the website for the game you still can't really get a read on her as she's just summarizing her journey so far in a pretty monotone voice.

So Vertin is just a surprise you get to experience when you first play the game, and I was not expecting to like her as much as I do. She has a really deep empathetic nature that drives her to try and find more people to save, and you can really tell that she does want to try and save both humans and arcanists.

Vertin is separated from the other characters in the sense that she doesn't see the world completely black and white, and is unwilling to give up when her back is against the wall. Even when she is quite literally being captured by an Arcanist who's leagues above her, she's still willing to try and get away anyways.

And Reverse: 1999 has this theme of "going back to when things were better" VS "Living for the future" that works really with Vertin as the main character. Because the deeper you go into the story, the more you learn that neither Manus Vindictae or The Foundation really care about saving lives from the Storm, Vertin is the only one who wants to put in the effort to try and solve an issue where both Humans and Arcanists can win. And it quickly goes from "Manus Vindictae is the bad guys, and Vertin and the Foundation are the good guys" to "Vertin is alone in this endeavour to save people, and it's her against two powerful organizations alone."

I think that's really cool pacing for the story as well, because it really subverts your expectations early on.

Vertin's care for the other characters is so deeply enshrouded into the game that it bleeds through even into the main mechanics of the game. Like, instead of equipping weapons or armor to your characters, you're shaping their mind with "new ideas" that change them as people, and thats what makes them stronger in battle, not tools or guns.

It's Vertin's ability to make them see the world in a different light and want to live for "the next era" that deepens her bonds with the characters in the suitcase, and instead of giving the characters a "weapon slot" for guns or swords etc, you give them "psycubes" which hold memories and dreams the characters have had before that they look back on fondly.

I really like this game, I don't know if you guys can tell. It's already released and I do think it can use some polish, but it's actually pretty amazing and I'm glad that I was keeping up with it for so long and able to play it on release.

[junktastic]

Hi everynyan,

Some of you will remember that I was taking names/addresses to send out free stickers in September. I am almost done sending them out now, so here's a quick update on that.

The Good!

I like this a lot! It's fun to do. For reference, I'm printing, laminating, and cutting these myself at home, so I'm learning a lot about my machine. I like being in charge of the quality control, I like doing the logistic work. Idk. It's fulfilling to me.

It's also really delightful to see names on the list who I've known of for a long time. Old and new faces, people all over the world, I love seeing people adopt a catgirl. :3 And for free! I'm by no means making a lot, but being able to provide something fun and physical to the people who enjoy my art for free is just! Wow!

The Bad!

Everything that could have gone wrong during this process did, which is why they're going out so late. The at-home manufacturing process was relatively simple but the materials kept being funky, or I'd do something wrong, so I'd have to toss something that I'd completely fucked up, OR I'd just miscount how much stuff material I had left. It's been a pain in the butt, so I'm glad it's done and that I've learned so much from it. I ALMOST FORGOT, I DESTROYED ONE CUTTING MAT MAKING THAT ROGER STANDEE FOR MY WEDDING LOL SO I HAD TO SPEND TIME CONDITIONING THE NEW CUTTING MAT! UGH!

There's also: the money. I know it's gauche to talk about it, but doing this was pretty expensive. I live in Canada now, and most of the letters were going out of Canada, so that postage added up. Materials cost, time, it's a pretty good chunk of change, but I didn't go broke so I want to do it again.

The Other?

I definitely want (and plan) to do this again very soon. I'm talking within this month. I'm making Christmas cards! I've already set money aside for this so it's all good, and it involves less at-home manufacturing since I can just reach out to a local print shop.

I know some people were wary of the google form, but I can't really find a better alternative at this time. MailChimp has had at least one major information leak in 2024 alone, so I am not sure where else to turn for collecting addresses at this time. I had a few people who did not give me towns/zip codes, and the street address would have three or four towns in that state alone with that address. Since I didn't collect e-mail addresses, I didn't have any way to reach out to entrants about this. If you don't see your sticker in the next few weeks, this might be why! I also plan on adding a checkbox just to confirm that the person requesting the sticker is over 18, NOT because I plan on sending anything saucy, but I know what it's like to be a teen with parents who open you mail, an I don't want to cause problems for anyone because Mom and Dad think fairies are satanic or something.

Most people I've talked to about all of this have really emphasized that I need to reopen my Patreon. I'm not saying anybody is wrong on this, but it just makes me feel so uncomfortable. I think anyone who's followed me for a while has seen me try and fail to do art full time or, hell, even have a schedule for something, and I've failed every time. I'm so scared of failing people again. How can I ensure that I'm producing things on time, to a standard I am happy with, that anyone willing to support me (in this economy?) would also be happy with? It will probably happen, but I'm just so... Plus, with all honesty, I have a commission backlog that I need to finish first! I'm bad at the business part of this whole thing, I think. I'm a blue-collar labourer in my heart.

That's my update! I wish you all well, please stay safe and take care of yourself and those around you. I'll post again when I'm collecting addresses for the Christmas cards.

[tf-lover]

I know I’ve already wished you a happy birthday but I can’t help the opportunity to do it here as well. Just wanted to make sure that you know I love you and that I feel proud to call you my boyfriend. You’re one of the kindest people I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing and I’m sure anyone who’s spoken to you knows that just as well. I feel so lucky to know you and have you in my life and I’m grateful that we were somehow able to meet through the unlikeliness of Tumblr messages of all places hahah! You deserve the world and I hope I’m able to give it to you ❤️

That said I’m glad you’re enjoying my present so far. It wasn’t easy to get my hands on that nanotech body suit. Expensive thing but well worth the money with how easily customisable it is at any time. I know you’re probably gonna be spending the majority of your time as a massive black stud but I can’t wait to see what other bodies you try out with all the customisation as well!

Of course I had to save the best of all of these birthday asks for last. ❤️

I couldn't ask for a sweeter man to call mine. That day I was bored at work and reading stories then messaged you from my main accidentally was one of the best and most unlikely outcomes ever. I wouldn't change a second of anything that led you to being the most wonderful boyfriend I could have asked for. I love you Mr Wavell, I can't wait for the rest of our days together.

That being said, I'm sure you all saw this picture I posted with the original post getting you to send asks in. That, if you can believe it was how I woke up! Already in the suit and programmed to look like my favourite stud, my boyfriend definitely knows me well. It was wild to say the very least waking up and feeling genuinely different; I thought I was seeing things at first until I rubbed the sleep from my eyes.

Of course then when he walked in and called me by this body's name I knew who was responsible. After all the roleplays we've done this was really taking it to a new level with him acting like he was totally unaware of me being anyone other than Ched.

Still, I've had plenty of other fun with the suit too!

Taken a ride through a load of my other favourite men's bodies and fucked or been fucked in all of them. Flipped my gender and spent an afternoon teasing him about being a straight guy whilst riding his cock and making him grope my tits. Became a copy of him too for a little bit just to play out the twin fantasy.

I've had all sorts of kinky fun to say the least, but at the end of the day we both know who I'm always coming back to.

Like you suggested I started playing around with the customisation settings this morning. How do we think dreads suit me? There's a few other surprises too, but you'll have to find those out for yourself. All the hint I'll give you is try sucking my nipples next time we're alone together and see what happens. 😜

Thank you again though for the new suit, and for everything else you do to make my life better with you in it. ❤️

[chaisshitposts]

ᐡ ⊃ ·̫ ⊂ ٠٘⌇. ꩜ 𝐖.𝐇𖤐 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐀 ?!!

︶ ︶ ︶ ︶

glad to meetcha. my name's chai and I'm just your friendly, yet angry, neighborhood homie. my pronouns are it/that, I am an experience. I'm forever 23 until I decide it's my time to age up. I've been manifestin' my whole life, but have consciously been manifestin' for a good few years now, and only recently have i decided to get serious about it and live life in creative mode as intended. i am a law of assumption fiend and stand by that. also, i'm a major nerd when it comes to anime, cartoons, and anything animated in general. no, i promise i'm not a disney adult.

ᐡ ⊃ ·̫ ⊂ ٠٘⌇. ꩜ 𝐖.𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐃𖤐 𝐘𝐀 𝐃𖤐 ?!!

︶ ︶ ︶ ︶

i make shit posts, post about ways to interact with yourself on a subconscious level, post about my own personal void journey, and sometimes like to rant. i am not a strictly void based blog. before anyone sends me asks about what they can and cannot manifest— imma answer ya right now, the answer is yes ya can have whatever ya want, even the unbelievable shit like magical powers and monster sps (don't judge me). if ya can think about it, then ya can literally have it. there's no limitations, for real.

ᐡ ⊃ ·̫ ⊂ ٠٘⌇. ꩜ 𝐖.𝐇𝐀𝐓'𝐒 𝐆𖤐𝐈𝐍' 𖤐𝐍 ?!!

︶ ︶ ︶ ︶

currently, I've been on a new void journey using psych-k consistently, as well as using psych-k to change my own limitin' beliefs about myself and my perceived limitations that should have never existed in the first place but were put in place by society and those around me. i want nothin' more than to help others become the best they can be. however, i am exceedingly blunt and can be mean on accident or on purpose, sugarcoatin' shit is just not my thing. you've been warned if ya choose to interact with me.

ᐡ ⊃ ·̫ ⊂ ٠٘⌇. ꩜ ) 𝐖.𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐀 𝐏𖤐𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃 ?!!

︶ ︶ ︶ ︶

psych-k, affirming on a deeper level

muscle testing yourself & others

dear subconscious...

got questions about psych-k? read this before sending in an ask.

did your ask not get answered? this might be the reason why.

building a manifestation foundation

using code words for manifestation

more posts to come!

ᐡ ⊃ ·̫ ⊂ ٠٘⌇. ꩜ ) 𝐖.𝐇𖤐'𝐒 𝐆𖤐𝐓 𝐀 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐄 ?!!

︶ ︶ ︶ ︶

void 'n victory

ᐡ ⊃ ·̫ ⊂ ٠٘⌇. ꩜ 𝐖.𝐇𖤐'𝐒 𝐆𖤐𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐒 ?!!

︶ ︶ ︶ ︶

how do i know if i have resistance?

explaining psych-k in portuguese.

when did i first learn about psych-k?

are we supposed to put our strong side over our weak side?

what was the very first thing i manifested?

how long should i do psych-k?

what i can look up to better understand the whole brain state // psych-k?

how i do psych-k to the uptomst efficiency, when in doubt, cover all your bases.

psych-k for appearance change??? :O success!!!

trust your instincts

ᐡ ⊃ ·̫ ⊂ ٠٘⌇. ꩜ 𝐖.𝐇𖤐 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐍𖤐𝐍𝐒 ?!!

︶ ︶ ︶ ︶

🐇 ,,, 🐠 ,,, 🎀 ,,, 👛 ,,, 🍓 ,,, 💌 ,,, 🦦 ,,, 🫀 ,,, 🍫 ,,, 🫶🏻 ,,, 📼 ,,, 🍵,,, 💫 ,,, 👙 ,,, 🌷,,, 🧝🏿‍♀️ ,,, 🌼 ,,, 🍞 ,,, 🐧 ,,, 🎀🧸 ,,, 🦁🐻🦒 ,,,

ᐡ ⊃ ·̫ ⊂ ٠٘⌇. ꩜ 𝐖.𝐇𝐎 𝐇𝐀𝐒 𝐒𝐔𝐂𝐂𝐄𝐄𝐃𝐄𝐃 ?!!

︶ ︶ ︶ ︶

appearance change shifting success

lucid dreaming void success

void success (2) exam success

longer lashes void success (charlie)

void success (charlie) shifting & wands

void success void concept success

ideal sp scenario time traveling

lucid dreaming void success

𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙞𝙨𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙩𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙩𝙨 𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙪𝙢𝙗𝙡𝙧 2023

[ahgasegotarmy116]

The Art of Etiquette Part 8 | Jeon Jungkook

Summary: Finishing up your shopping trip goes off without a hitch but Jungkook reminds you of what's going on between you two Pairing: f!reader x Etiquette instructor Jungkook Word Count: 4k~ Warnings: Explicit and suggestive language but nothing crazy lol a/n: This took me literally forever to get out and I'm so sorry but I hope it was worth the wait. I wanted to wrap up this trip quickly and move on but I like the thought of them shopping together so I hope you guys do too! p.s. barely edited as always lol Start from the beginning

After finishing our lunch and finally finding the perfect dress for the event, Jungkook and I head off on our next adventure, bidding adieu to Genevieve once again. 

"So, what's next on the list?" I question after he starts the car and pulls out of the parking lot. "Well what's a beautiful girl in a beautiful gown without a beautiful pair of shoes and jewelry to match?" he teases and continues on our journey to wherever he has in mind. 

"I guess you're right" I say, sinking into my seat and trying my best not to melt from his compliments. 

He hands me the aux again giving me free reign of the soundtrack of our journey and I play some random choices that have been my current favorites which also happen to be some of his as well. 

"Seems like we're a lot more similar than I thought we were" I laugh after having sung along to boyfriend by Ariana Grande. "What makes you say that?" he says turning down the volume a bit. "Well we like some of the same music, we like the same foods, we both hated a majority of those dresses I tried on" I list off leaving him chuckling a bit at the last one. 

"Can you blame me? You looked like a glorified ballerina in half of those and the others just looked way too painful to wear for a few minutes let alone a few hours" he says and I respect his honesty. 

"I'm glad we found 'The One' eventually" I say in quotations, still not 100% sold on it yet. "You didn't like it?" he asks, looking genuinely concerned. "If you didn't like it we could've talked to her and seen if she could've ordered a different one" he says, quickly showing me that there's time to change things if I'm still unsure. 

"No, no the dress is fine it's just...well I haven't ever worn a gown like that before. The closest thing I could think of would be a dress I wore to a school dance but that obviously was no where near as expensive as that one" I ramble leaving him chuckling at my nervousness. 

"What's so funny?" I ask, furrowing my brow and demanding an explanation. "It's just that you look adorable" he chuckles leaving me groaning and sinking back into my chair. "Hey I'm serious you looked very beautiful in the dress and I promise you're gonna look stunning at the event as well" he assures, trying to lift my spirits and it does the trick thankfully. 

'Who am I to doubt a gorgeous man's words of praise? I just I- What? I- Okay I need to stop thinking about him like that but it's hard not to when he keeps on calling me beautiful and gorgeous and ugh I'm doomed' I scold myself, leaving me averting my vision from him to take in the beautiful view outside my window, just now realizing in how truly gorgeous it looks out here. 

"Everything okay?" he asks, noticing my clear shift in demeanor and I quickly try to clear things up without making things even more awkward. "Yeah no I'm fine. I feel like I never really looked outside my window on this drive since I was sleeping the first time we came here" I explain, hoping he'll accept that as an answer and although he looks suspicious he lets it go. 

"You know, I've been out here so many times that I've forgotten to look around as well. It's a nice drive for sure" he agrees and we sit there for a while, going down the highway and listening to the slow hum of my playlist in the background.

~~~~~

As we get closer to the city I realize that I still have no clue where we're going to get these accessories he had mentioned but I didn't think we would be going to a little couture boutique that I've never bothered setting foot inside. Simply knowing for a fact I would never be able to afford anything. 

"You sure we should start there? I mean I'm sure there are a lot more affordable places close by" I say, trying to back my way out of it but he gently guides me inside and nods his head politely in greeting to the sales women there as we walk through the doors. 

"James wants you to have the best of the best and feel confident at your first outing so he wanted us to start at the top. Just take a deep breath and don't look at the prices alright" he coaches before leaving me to wander around in search of the perfect shoes when unbeknownst to me he's already gotten one of the ladies headed to the back to grab a few pairs that might match the dress. 

"You're size eight in heels correct?" he asks, putting on an heir of sophistication since we're no longer alone. "Correct" I answer as I look at the various colors, styles and flashiness of all the items around me as I make my way further and further into the store. 

"Mr. Jeon?" the woman calls for him and he leads me over to where she's placed the various pairs that he thought might've been suitable for the occasion. 

"See any you like?" he asks, watching as I observe the array he had chosen and I pick a plain black pair to start. "These seem nice" I say as I try it on for size and notice they're a tad too tight. "You think they would match the dress well though?" he questions and when I think back to it I realize that we should probably keep looking.

~~~~~~ 

After trying on a dozen more I feel as though we'll never find the right ones until I notice a pair that's on display in the front window. "What about those ones?" I ask, pointing to them and he waves the woman down that had been helping us and she nods before going to retrieve them for me. 

"You're in luck Miss, these are the last pair we have. They are a half size small but go ahead and try them on" she says, placing the box down on the bench beside me.

When I go to take them out Jungkook places his hand on top of mine and I pause, looking over at him to question his motives. "Allow me?" he offers and I nod my head, caught off guard but letting him do as he pleases. 

He takes off the last pair I had just tried on and slips the first shoe on with ease, almost as if they had been made for me. Once he's gotten the other shoe on as well he steps back and holds out his hand, asking me to stand up and walk around in this last hopeful pair. I do as I had done time and time again this but lose my footing as I take my first step. 

"Woah there" he says, letting me fall into his chest, avoiding any further injury for the day. "Are you alright?" he asks and when I lean back to respond my breath catches in my throat, nudging my nose against his. 

"I- um yeah, yes I'm fine" I stammer after having stared at his lips for a beat too long, stepping back and again losing my footing leaving him having to grab me by my hips to steady me again. "Maybe we should take a break from the shoes for the day" he chuckles and I look down at my feet with an excuse of checking out the heels like I had before but noticing that these might actually work. 

Taking a closer look in the mirror I watch myself walk up to it and notice that for once I don't look like a baby gazelle learning how to walk for the first time while also realizing that the color and style matches somehow perfectly after having seen them up close. 

I turn to look back at Jungkook and see a satisfied smile, knowing that we've found the ones. "Those it?" he questions, still leaving the choice up to me and I smile and nod, loving the fact that our efforts were not in vain. 

He makes a nod at the sales woman, asking her to ring them up while he walks up behind me. Looking at our reflection I notice that although these heels are a tad bit higher than my usual ones he's still taller which makes them even more perfect.

"You tired?" he asks, placing a hand on my hip after taking in the sight of the both of us and guiding me back over to the bench so I can finally put my own shoes back on, leaving me thanking my past self for wearing boots instead of some sort of heel as well.

"A little" I say after having slipped my feet back into the boots, standing up and yet again losing my footing, this time only giving Jungkook the chance to grab onto my hand as I thankfully sit right back down on the bench instead of landing on the floor.

"Tried on one too many huh?" he laughs, holding my hand to now aide in steading my balance from the start making me smile awkwardly in thanks for him yet again saving me from my clumsy self. "Yeah maybe" I laugh, picking up my bag and we slowly make our way over to the counter where he pays without bothering to ask for a price.

"How much were they?" I ask, trying to look over his shoulder to see if I could catch sight of it but before I'm able to the transaction has gone through and they're holding out the bag for one of us to take and Jungkook swiftly receives it before taking ahold of my hand again and thanking the staff as we make our way to the next store. 

"Don't worry about it" he says and guides us aimlessly towards the place I could only assume is to find the jewelry to pull everything together. "What do you mean don't worry about it? I'm sure they were really expensive" I argue but that gets me no closer to getting the price than if I would've stayed silent. 

"The invoice will be sent to Matthew and will be charged to James so don't worry about it" he says, assuring me that although he paid this isn't coming out of his pocket. "Fine" I huff and follow him blindlessly before stopping in my tracks in front of the next store. 

"What's wrong?" he asks, looking back at me as we've still got our hands connected leaving him stopping as well. "Jungkook this is Cartier like Cartier the luxury jewelry brand" I say, stunned at even the thought of owning something as expensive as what I might find there. 

"I am aware. Would you prefer to go to Tiffany instead?" he asks, pointing out the Tiffany blue store just a few doors down. "No! I mean no, it's just that this is all so expensive I feel like I could get away with wearing something a lot less pricey than this" I say, trying to explain my way out of adding another dollar to what I assume is the already exorbitant total. 

"Like I said, James wants the best for you and I'm sure your mother is going to enjoy looking at the pieces you've gotten as well" he says placing a hand on my lower back and guiding me in again were we're met with an overwhelming amount of silver and gold and everything in between all enclosed in glass cases. 

"I think these would be perfect thank you" Jungkook says after we've agreed upon a set that would again match the dress but isn't too crazy flashy so it couldn't be used again.

"Are we all done?" I question, not being able to think of another thing that we could possibly need. "We just need to make one more stop" he says and I nod my head, going with the flow since against my best efforts I haven't been able to convince him to stop spending more and more money on me. 

"I thought we were done with the jewelry shopping" I say, as we walk towards the Tiffany store he had mentioned before. "James wanted to get you one last thing as some sort of a thank you for being a good sport and going through all of these lessons or something like that. Anyways he already ordered it so we just need to pick it up" he says and I nod my head, following him in.

Wandering around the store while he talks to the employee about said gift I find myself staring at one necklace in particular and being fascinated by it's simplistic yet elegant look. "Find something you like?" Jungkook whispers in my ear leaving me flinching and taking a step back bumping into him in the process. 

"Stop doing that" I groan and he laughs before leaning in and checking out the case trying to follow my line of sight. "Excuse me, can she try on this necklace?" Jungkook asks, calling the man over that he had spoken to earlier and he nods and makes his way behind to counter we're standing at.

"I was just looking" I try to deny him but he nevertheless nods when the man points to the silver necklace with the small teardrop shaped diamond pendant. He hands it to Jungkook and I look down at it in his hand and see that it looks even prettier up close. 

"You sure you don't wanna try it on?" he asks with a knowing smile and I give him a bashful one back before he nods his head towards the mirror sitting on the courter. I turn around to face it while moving my hair out of the way so he can put it on for me and I immediately fall in love with it.

 He watches my eyes light up in the reflection and nods to the salesman to ring us up for this one as well before even giving me a chance to refuse. I look at the necklace for a while longer, taking in how it looks at different angles and am shocked at how much a small little diamond like that could shine so bright and before I'm able to say a word to him about giving it back he's asking me if I'm ready to go. 

"Let me just give this back and I'll be right there" I say, reaching around my neck to take it off but he walks up and takes my hands down and shakes his head. 

"No, James already got me something from here. I couldn't possibly get another piece as well. I feel as if I'm taking advantage of his kindness" I say, feeling more and more guilty as I imagine how many zeros have been added to the total for this stupid ball. 

"You're not taking advantage of it I promise. Trust me, if anyone else in your position was given free reign to get whatever they thought they 'needed' for one event they probably would've maxed out the card before leaving the first store" he jokes and I smile at his efforts, still feeling incredibly guilty. 

"Okay" I mouth silently and he holds out his hand, leading me out of the store again.

"Jungkook" I call for his attention, curious about something. "Yes?" he answers, stopping so he can look at me properly while I speak to him. "Why have you been holding my hand so much today?" I ask him, leaving him loosening his hold but me tightening mine in response making his worried expression that was once there disappear. 

"I just thought it would be easier for you to follow me especially since it's been a bit crowded today. I didn't want to lose you" he says, looking down at our conjoined hands and smiling, seeing how I have no intention of letting go. 

"Well it's not crowded anymore" I say, looking around at the path we had once traveled. "Sorry I guess it was just a reflex of mine I did not mean to-" "It's fine. I was just teasing you" I say, squeezing his hand, switching roles and leading him to where his car is parked. 

"We're going home right?" I ask and without realizing it the simple words had made his heart flutter a bit leaving him clearing his throat before responding. "Yes, I assume your mother is waiting for you to come home for dinner so I'll go ahead and drop you off now if you'd like?" he asks, leaving it open ended as if he wanted to spend more time together. 

"Oh was there something else we had to do?" I ask, curious to see if he had something in mind. "No nothing, I just thought you might've wanted to get a coat or shall of some sort since the weather is still rather cold these days" he says, no doubt coming up with an excuse to cover up his motives. 

"Sure, I'd love that" I say, smiling up at him and notice how red the tips of his ears have gotten, making me even more happy I said yes to staying with him a while longer. 

He smiles in response and leads us to the first store he can think of that might have something I'd like and as we go through rack by rack we get to talking more casually and before we know it the stores are about to close.

"Let's get you home" he says walking us back to his car where he opens the door for me yet again before driving off.

~~~~~~  

"Thank you so much for all of your help today. I feel as though I would've been lost without you" I admit as we pull up to my house. "I am aware" he says, giving me a mischievous smile before getting out of the car to open the door for me again. 

"Hey! I was trying to be nice and then you go and act al-" "All what?" he teases, cutting me off as he helps me out of the car, leaning against it and trapping me, granting me little to no room to escape even if I tried. "All cocky" I say, lifting my chin up and being confident in my words, full well knowing I'm melting on the inside. 

"Is that so? I guess we've skipped the lesson of getting rid of that dirty little mouth of yours now haven't we?" he taunts, cocking a brow at me and it takes everything in me not to fall to my knees and suck him off right now. 

I nod my head and he tongues his cheek before glancing down at my lips and pushing off the car, giving me room to breathe only for a moment before pulling me into him, moving me out of the way so he can close the passenger door behind me. 

"Let's get you inside. It's past your bedtime Princess" he rasps in my ear before letting go of me and walking towards my house leaving me standing there speechless, leaving me standing there for a minute, trying to take in everything that just transpired. 

'Princess? Where does he get off calling me Princess and why the hell did it make me want him even more? I swear this man is trying to kill me' I think to myself before he calls after me telling me to hurry up. 

"Coming!" I say and mentally curse myself, 'Really? Out of all the things you could've said you said that?' and I can tell that Jungkook's thinking the same thing as he grants me with another cheeky smile before knocking on the front door. 

One of the maids answers the door and Jungkook asks her if there's someone who can get all the bags out of the car and she scurries off and grabs someone to do so. 

"Oh there you are! I thought you would've been back ages ago!" my mother says as she walks up to us, clearly more excited to see Jungkook than she is to see me. "She didn't give you any trouble did she?" she asks, giving me a once over before turning her attention back to him. 

"No, on the contrary she was itching to finish up sooner but I wanted to make sure we had everything she needed before bringing her home. It's been a pleasure spending time with her outside of the classroom and helping make sure she's more than ready for the ball" he says, merely glancing at my mother before looking back at me, my eyes going back and forth between the two of them, feeling shy under his gaze again. 

I swear he always does this right before he leaves because he likes to watch me squirm. What happened to the pure kind man that I had just been with today? Now suddenly replaced by the devilish tempter just daring me to make a move on him. 

After my mother has thanked him and tried to persuade him to come in for a while with him trying to refuse and I come to his aide and shoo my mother away.

"Mom I think I've taken up more than enough of his time today don't you? I'll walk you out" I say quickly, grabbing him by the arm and dragging him out while he says his goodbyes to her. 

"You trying to get rid of me?" he teases, amused by my hurried solution to ending the conversation. "No I just figured there must be something better for you to do than deal with my mother and her antics" I say and he chuckles in response only stopping when I've finished dragging him all the way to the driver's side of his car. 

"Thank you for everything today, really" I say looking down at the gravel under our feet, holding my breath and waiting for that cocky response again but it never comes. "It was truly a pleasure I assure you of that" he says, hooking a finger under my chin to bring my eyes up to him. 

My eyes dart back and forth between his and he leans in again just as he did last night this time giving me an almost featherlight kiss, hardly anything more than brushing his lips against mine, making my breath hitch, frozen and spellbound by his touch. 

"Goodnight Princess" he says against my lips, still barely there but enough to feel his touch as his breath warms my lips, feeling frozen once he's pulled away and sat down in his car. 

"G-goodnight Mr. Jeon" I let out, barely able to break free from the mental hold he has on me making him chuckle at my reaction before giving me once last glance. Dragging his eyes up and down my form before pulling out of the driveway, leaving me feeling utterly naked under his heated gaze.

As I walk back up I see my mother scurrying down the hallway, no doubt trying to hide the fact that she had been spying on us but I wouldn't expect anything less from her. 

No matter how much she tries to hide it at the end of the day she's really just a busybody that loves to gossip but I've grown tired of it. Not even bothering to care if she sees. With the way Jungkook and I have been playing this push and pull for a while it'll only be a matter of time before we end up together. 

Or at least I hope we do...  

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[solitaryandwandering]

A Ramble: Love in the Big City Eps 7-8

WOW. WOW. OKAY. I've been letting episode 8 sink in for the last couple hours, jotting down notes and just generally absorbing this wonderful show. So beautiful. I'm so glad I put aside time to watch this and talk about it with y'all. Just another heads-up: this is a RAMBLE. My thoughts on things usually change, like 15 minutes after I upload these. But they still matter! So I hope they inspire you to think more about your own interpretations or what the show meant to you.

Let's start off with cinematography, shall we? I talked a little about this yesterday, but this director's style is one I tend to gravitate to. I was searching for a way to describe it during the entirety of today's episode and I think I landed on it: "delicate." Not necessarily fragile but lighter in touch. Her style also feels relatively naturalistic. She's intentional in what she does with her camera and what she asks of her actors but the majority of what happens here translates as less-choreographed. Movement is clearly blocked but feels looser? Yeong's behavior specifically reminds me of how freely he moved in the first part. He’s still weighed down and grieving but it feels like Gyu Ho still did something good for him. He feels much more mature, that's for sure. Or maybe this is just coming across more as he visits Bangkok and his relationship with Gyu Ho?

I've also been struggling for a way to describe the lighting in this section - it's definitely intentional but is not as stylized as it was in the last section. I don't think "flat" is the right descriptor, but I do think they're using much more ambient lighting. It's all still pretty, I'm not using this as a negative. The coloring feels kind of dim in parts; I mentioned yesterday that I was reminded a lot of what is considered "indie" cinema which is a very broad statement. Again, what I think I'm picking up on is less reliance on studio lighting or highly-stylized camera blocking. I know for a fact they are not using handheld camera at least for the vast majority of these episodes but it still feels like they are.

Kim Se In actually does quite a bit to achieve her naturalistic style; she utilizes dirty framing (objects or people in the foreground), off-center angles or unique perspectives, and hides some of her more stylized choices with neutral coloring. She usually sticks to medium close-ups; when she doesn't utilize these she still chooses similarly-proportioned framing. Her camera actually moves quite a bit, though I found that they seem to move with what the viewer would naturally be looking at. She's not trying to direct our attention anywhere else. We are moving along with what is happening on screen and in the narrative. When comparing her camera movements to those of Part 1, for instance, she is not as sharp or pointed. Nor are her actors as energized; both the camera and the actors move more languidly or smoothly in comparison. The way she directs her actors around props feels different, too. But maybe that's just me. The score they use across these two episodes is also really interesting, though I'm not really qualified to speak on why.

Visual barriers are a BIG one in this part. We get so many shots of the viewer (or character) looking through curtains, bars in windows, glass walls of a shower, etc. My favorite shot in this part was in episode 8, when Yeong and Gyu Ho are in that really shitty room in Bangkok. They're lying on their backs on the bed, sweaty, and the ceiling fan blades cut between them and the camera. As they talk about the fan falling and smashing them into burger patties, the camera steadily presses in on the two of them until they’re both partially cut off by the frame. Stylized, but not unobtrusively so. It especially fits because it's within the context of a flashback.

Though all four parts feel distinct there are common visual themes throughout all four parts. Mirrors are a big one. But we see a direct contrast in style in the flashback sequences which overlap with the prior section’s. Specifically with the two of them in the boat and running back to the hotel. In the prior depiction it felt more romantic, sunnier with a pretty score. The both of them are happy, carefree, Gyu Ho is helping to roll down the tarp, and I think less people are on the boat? I’ll have to double check. It’s interesting that the flashback does not feel as romantic as it did when they lived it. The way he remembers it, he became bothered as soon as it started raining and was more short with Gyu Ho. The light is dimmer and the camera angles less romantic. They’re also lying side by side instead of in different directions. What is more accurate? What they felt in the glow or after? He definitely blames himself so much for the way their relationship went.

The last thing I'll point out is how cool her use of zooms were. There’s a moment in the market where the camera literally focuses in on Yeong and Gyu Ho like a home video camera. She KILLED ME.

Habibi was such an interesting character to have around in this last section. A direct contrast to Gyu Ho and someone Yeong saw himself in. Lonely and closed-off. In their time together they were alone but keeping each other company in their loneliness. In his flashbacks we can see how happy Gyu Ho made Yeong and how much life he brought. With Habibi he's trying to revisit some of that energy, pushing each other to live. When they're drinking together it's to feel something, to grow closer to someone else. When they walk away one of them says “The taste was never important” - ultimately, though they allowed each other an escape and levity, they will not be able to experience flavor, not the kind which comes with a life fully lived.

I love the way this show was able to feel like a completely cohesive effort despite having four different directors at the helm. Themes I picked up on in other episodes: queer loneliness, heteronormativity (and its relationship to misogyny), ownership, distance, shame, and honesty/communication are all present in every episode. In this part, though, I was just thinking of emptiness. That, and what we do to fill it. Is it an act of futility to try, or is that the whole point?

Everything is empty. Rooms, empty doorways, physical and emotional space between people, soy sauce bottles, the space Gyu Ho used to occupy, relationships, balloons. The future. Yeong, Habibi, and even Eun Su are filling a void. In episode 7 especially it felt that Yeong's life had become empty and unmoving, with occasional intrusions from others who brought activity but not exactly fulfillment. Everyone wants to escape. In chasing his past, trying to determine what's fake and what's real, Yeong found his distraction in Habibi. Yeong and Habibi fill an empty stairwell with laughter, chasing adrenaline and a taste of life. When he's not there, Yeong faces his past and must reconcile with what has been lost.

In the end, what they are searching for is life. Yeong chooses to “live wholly" as himself and suggests Habibi do the same. Eun Sui leaves his unfulfilling relationship. I can only hope that Yeong will learn to take his life back from Kylie and anything which would constrain him. Instead of his life going by in a flash, I can only hope he can find the courage to face it with eyes wide open. Instead of pulling away from others because of disgust with himself, I can only hope he can learn to work through his shame.

Go Yeong means to shine high and bright. He tells Habibi that he's not a star but a nuclear bomb. I hope he doesn't condemn himself to loneliness anymore.

In the end, all he wishes for is love.

Perhaps love is about sharing ourselves, exactly as we are.

Thanks for reading my incoherent, over-written rambles! I was gonna write way more but it was becoming increasingly long and nonsensical. I loved this show, 10/10. Will 100% be reading the book after I finish the two I'm working on. Thank you @lurkingshan and @bengiyo for opening up a space for everyone to come together and talk about LITBC!

[twig-tea]

Cooking Crush ep 10: This Show Has My Whole Heart

I wrote about some of the things Cooking Crush is doing so well in my response to a recent ask, and so I'm particularly glad that episode 10 came through with a strong flourish to get us set up the last two episodes.

I wanted to call out a few specific things this episode did that are contributing to why it's working so well for me.

First, I want to mention that the reciprocity continues! Previously, we had Prem comforting Ten during a panic attack post adrenaline crash. In this episode, Ten comforts and supports Prem during his worries about Samsee and the competition.

Picking up on something else I've talked about before, this show is committed to its character's arcs. Fire is struggling with his sexuality and his desire to keep their relationship secret last episode led to the conflict between Samsee and Dynamite this episode. Fire showing up to support Dy in public, giving him affection, and using the petname Dy insisted on having is all evidence of Fy's increasing comfort with it. He's already said before he intends to tell his mother, and Dy has been clear he's not rushing him. The way Dy is so careful with Fire but also so receptive to and appreciative of what Fire is able to give warms my heart (pun intended). And Samsee and Prem seeing it and reacting supportively too, because they know what this means to their friend!

[The gifsearch is not cooperating but please enjoy this gifest by @gunsatthaphan.]

I also want to talk about how this conflict with Samsee hits Dynamite hard, and in the context of knowing he's lost relationships with his parents because of his sexuality, to think his relationship with Fire could have lost him a close friend must be bringing back up his feelings about being cut out of the lives of people he loves. However, it speaks to the strength of his bond with Samsee that even though Samsee is furious and not speaking with him, he does not kick Dy out of his apartment. Dy mentions that he didn't see Samsee the night before the competition because Samsee didn't come home (we find out later why, but I loved this subtle nod to the fact that unlike Dy's own parents, Samsee didn't abandon Dy when he made choices that hurt him. I AM IN MY QUEER FOUND FAMILY FEELINGS, FRIENDS).

Along these lines, Ten going to confess to Prem, noticing that these friends are having a moment, and quietly stepping away to give them space is such a good character moment for him, since previously he's been begging to be let in to their shared space even when Prem mentions he's concerned about its impact on his friends and their relationship. Ten's realizing he can't be everything for Prem, and it's better for both of them if he isn't.

That scene of reconciliation, the three friends re-establishing how important they are to one another, that got to me. And that the show prioritized it over the romance! I cannot tell you how much I love that this was an explicit decision the show made, to say 'no, this is not the time for a confession, this friendship reconciliation is more important right now'. And I love that the show gives us a solid, character-grounded reason for why Samsee reacted so strongly to being left out in the first place. We've been told Samsee has changed school majors 3 times, and it's been played as a joke as well as an explanation for why he's an older student. I love that we've now had the consequences of those changes on Samsee's friendships added to his story. Even a "joke" backstory has ramifications for the characters in this show, I am obsessed.

I also want to mention that I am loving what the show is doing with Samsee and Metha, two characters who are the "fuck-ups" of their friend groups, but who are also the most loyal and most supportive of them all. They conflict with one another around what that support looks like, even while they enable one another to continue to be the best friends to their respective besties.

Prem has struggled this entire show to use his words, and in particular he's visibly wrestled with how he can gracefully reject Chef Changma without putting his own career at risk. In this episode he manages to say 'I don't think that [a hug] would be a good idea', and he's ignored. Ten immediately steps in, but I wanted to highlight how big a deal it is for Prem to have said no to this Chef--who he's idolized, who is his mentor, and who is a judge of the competition he's in--in this moment.

When we do get to the confession, Prem continues to lead with action, and Ten continues to push him to use his words. I love so much that Ten never lets him get away with copping out of saying the words, since it's something we know Prem struggles so much with. This speaks to @lurkingshan's earlier post about how Cooking Crush shows us its leads are better thanks to their relationship (in the same way that Fire self-actualizing and being more free to be himself and express affection also speaks to this point).

Beyond character arcs, there's one other thing I am very excited for heading into episode 11 next week, and that's the conflicts in this show converging so brilliantly. So far, the show has set up a few conflicts: Ten's relationship with his father, the cooking competition, the bullies, Fire's relationship with his mother, and Chef Changma's interest in Prem. All of these have now been queued up to expertly converge as a single conflict in ep 11, based on the preview. With Changma's advance and subsequent punch being recorded and distributed (I'm placing bets that this was recorded by one of the bullies, btw), Ten's father once again steps in the way of this relationship that he sees as a detriment to his son. Prem also previously stated that he wanted to enter the competition in order to prove to Ten's dad that he has potential, so these threads were already starting to come together weeks ago. Even if I'm wrong about the bullies having been the ones to record that video, they're sitll in the competition as competitors. And of course Fire has promised Dy he'd come out after the competition, tying the last thread of these conflicts all together around this single event.

And this is what I mean when I say the writing on this show is so good. Because the characters are coherent and consistent and have clear arcs, and the conflicts are grounded in the characters, even though there are several threads, they come together easily and in a way that makes perfect sense and that work with the character arcs rather than against them.

The last thing I'll mention, because it's something I actually brought up as a negative to this show previously, is the use of non-linear storytelling. Cooking Crush has used non-linear storytelling several times, showing us a scene and then flashing back to what happened before that scene in order to fill in the gaps. This can be an effective storytelling tool, but it has to accomplish something in the narrative. The difference between unnecessary and excellently-deployed non-linear storytelling is whether or not there's a good answer to this question: What is the purpose of delaying this information to the audience, and how does that delay affect the audience understanding of what they're seeing? In previous instances, for example the kiss and then flashback to the full date, knowing that Ten and Prem kissed at the end of their date didn't add anything to the viewing experience of watching their date, and having seen their date didn't change my experience of the kiss. This is why I consider it an ineffective use of that technique.

In episode 10, however, we get the cold open that shows Ten joining Prem and Samsee in the competition, and then we flash back. Knowing Ten will be joining Prem and Dynamite in the competition helps to colour what we see about Prem and Dy trying to get Samsee to reconcile with them, as well as Samsee's absence. When we get to Ten stepping in, we have learned it was as much a surprise (and disappointment) to Prem and Dy as it was to us. Ten stepping in doesn't actually work, but it does give Prem the courage to ask if they can compete as a duo, rather than just letting themselves be disqualified without a fight. And we later find out that Samsee was so touched by the letter that he went to his hometown to dig for prawns and that's why he was late for the competition. [I also wanted to mention this because based on @respectthepetty's roundup post it sounds like the cold open was cut for the youtube version]

I lied, I have one more actual last thing, this one is obvious but I can't not say it: THANK YOU to this show for consistently queueing up the typical miscommunication fumbles that get so annoying in every BL (in most romance plots of any sexuality) and then saying NOT TODAY SATAN and having the characters choose vulnerability and honesty and bravery, and talking it out. Every time the show does this (and it's at least 2x per episode, no exaggeration) I feel a little more faith in romance writing restored.

ANWAY, TL;DR Cooking Crush continues making me so happy every week!

[gor3sigil]

Hi ! I’m a 29 year old trans man from France, and I really like reading your blog. You write very eloquently and what you have to share is important. It’s bittersweet for me to finally encounter people talking about transandrophobia. I’ve been trying to talk about it for years. My heart breaks when I think about all the young trans men and transmasculine people who grow up hating themselves because of both the societal transphobia and the transandrophobia of queer spaces. I detransitioned for 4 years, partly because I felt so alienated. A woman I loved and looked up to, who calls herself a feminist, told me that after my first testosterone injection I could not talk about feminism anymore. She said I was now on the side of the oppressor. She stated that she would support me as an individual but that her fight was for women, cis or trans, and I had to stay quiet and let women speak. She, in fact, did not support me as an individual either. When I was an androgynous non binary person she would compliment me all the time. When I transitioned, she started to grow colder and patronizing with me. She blocked me after I made a general post to talk about my experiences and explain, in a very gentle way, how trans men experience misogyny in a lot of spaces, misandry in queer and feminist spaces, and transphobia everywhere, and how our fights are intertwined with feminist fights.

Another trans man from France hooray !! I'm very glad you shared your experience, partly because I relate to it a lot (idk if you've seen the post I made about how I detransitioned for a year and it was partly due to the mistreatment I've been getting because I was a trans dude), and also because it's so important to spread the word. I'm really sorry you went through that. I had the same type of shit from women that I considered my sisters before transitioning, who ditched me like crap when I started using he/him pronouns. Since you're french too, I'd like to point something that I noticed in the french trans community (maybe you'll disagree and that's totally fair), is that anti transmasculinity and radfem ideologies are VERY LOUD in queer spaces and that trans men often play a part in it. I saw 2 separate videos recently from two trans men youtuber (who I will not name publicly for obvious reasons but you can ask me in DMs if you want) who both made videos asking if "Men are trash" included trans men, and both I found... Well, wrong, in a lot of ways. Because the main argument is that trans men who medically transition, do so with the intent of being treated and perceived in society AS men (or if this wasn't the intent, this is what happens anyways), and so basically take the role of men in the patriarchy, so the role of the oppressor. The second video was a bit more nuanced with the idea that not all trans men do transition medically, some don't pass etc but still, I find it appalling to see that almost every transmasc creator I see, who makes content in french at least, talk about transmasculinity in a way that is almost exclusively "AFAB perisex person who wants to be a Neo Cis Man". Which is, at least from all the people I've talked to since coming out in 2017, not the case for a vast majority of people, and even when it IS the case, trans men don't, and I say that with my whole chest, they DON'T have cis men privileges and they ARE NOT in a position of power over women, ESPECIALLY cis women. Well, that's my way of seeing things anyways. I really hope our local activists will stick their heads out of their white, skinny, cis passing trans men asses and start taking a look at the actual experiences of the many more of us. It'd be a nice change of pace. Thank you for your comment and sorry for the rant lmao

[quitealotofsodapop]

I absolutely adore Tang River Water au!

I really like the idea that Tang accidentally drank water from this river and became pregnant just out of carelessness. It's too hilarious. An even funnier thing was that now their child is the rebirth of jade emperor. They can never have a break. Poor guys.

But for some reason it became very interesting to me what type of Tang will be during pregnancy? Will it be easy or will he be terribly emotional? Or something else, I would really look at it. I also think that he would really not like that when he tried to eat his husband's food, and then he started to feel sick just from the smell. He would definitely look at his stomach with anger and disappointment "you. traitor". And he would absolutely ask Pigsy to hold his belly in the later months of pregnancy.

I also really wonder how they would behave with their daughter. I know they love her, but I'm sure they're absolutely scared and DON't know what to do. I just want to know what they're planning to do. Will they overprotect her because she is the rebirth of the most powerful being in all of heaven? Or will they hide it? Maybe they will ask for help from heaven?

referencing.

Hehehe! I'm glad you like it!

Tang was just so thirsty after being in the desert (I believe is meant to be the Gobi) that he just leaps into the first water source he can find. Pigsy yells after him but Tang's already gulped down the yucky muddy stream water before Pigsy reminds him that there's a water purifier in the TEA. By then, the remnants of the Mother-Child River had already begun the process.

After his body adapts to the major magically-induced change, Tang ends up using his condition to get out of work/to get pampered on. Emotionally he's ok, just a little more worried than usual. And Pigsy is such an adoring spouse that Tang's symptoms rarely go unattended. Lots of cuddles and tummy rubs in the later months.

Ankles swell: "Oh Piggy~ My feet hurt." Morning Sickness: "I need tea and kisses!" Cravings: (Tang: "I require oranges, bao buns, ramune soda, takoyaki sauce-" Pigsy: "How about I leave you inside the Speedy Panda with 500 yuan and I close my eyes while you go shop?" Tang: "I love you so much piggy.") Smells: "MK you stink. Take a shower or I will literally barf." Painful Kicking: "Cuddle time." >:3

And if the *cicada* part of the Golden Cicada is acting up; he gets into carving/whittling - cicadas etch tree bark to lay their eggs. Pigsy now has many tables in the restaurant defaced with Tang's "masterpieces".

And I absolutely hit Tang with what (he believes) is the worst symptom on Earth; Food aversion. Specifically towards NOODLE SOUP. His husband's own cooking! He's distraught! Something about the combination of broth and noodles makes his stomach turn! Broth and noodles separate? Ok. Together? Instant morning sickness. He suspects its something to do with the texture of the noodles when their soggy.

Wukong: "Maybe your brain thinks its worms." Tang: *turns green and retches*

Pigsy goes out of his way to prepare dishes for Tang that don't set off his nausea, even if it means altering his traditional methods.

Pigsy: "Ok, I've been experimenting with a new dish for a while and I want your opinion." Tang, delighted: "Ooo hoho! You know I'll always be your taste tester, Piggy." Pigsy: *presents the elements of his noodle recipe* Tang: "Huh?" Pigsy: "You seemed really sad to not eat noodle soup, so I made a dry version so that you can still enjoy the flavours. The broth is on the side so you can drink it. The guy from the somen restaurant gave me some pointers." Tang, getting emotional: "You... you changed your recipe for me!?" Pigsy, grabbing Tang's hands: "Our family recipe, Tangy. That includes you and our little critic." Tang: *bursts out sobbing and shovels the dry noodle fixings into his mouth*

The baby - "Bao/宝/treasure or bundle" (also bao buns were one of Pigsy's cooking Tang could eat) - ultimately looks similar to a baby orc from Dungeon Meshi. A mostly chubby human baby with pig features. She has a puff of Tang's dark hair that becomes little black stripes on her back like a wild piglet.

What the baby takes after Pigsy in appearance, she takes from Tang in greediness. Before she's even off milk she'll try taking bites of other people's food. She's bold and confident, hilarious to anyone seeing a tiny piglet chasing Celestial soldiers like she's her own army.

And of course theres the issue of Bao being the reincarnation of one of the oldest and most powerful deities in taoism...

Pigsy and Tang are def the overprotective types, not so much for Bao being a powerful baby, but because every immortal seems to forget that she's still an uber-fragile preemie. Her health wasn't great when she was born (worsened by the circumstances around the birth). The freenoodles parents atleast have experience raising the little chaos monkey that was MK - the only difference being that Bao can't climb so good. Though she does seem to have control over the weather for some reason.

The Celestial Realm has to catch on quickly that she isn't the Jade Emperor anymore - she gets kidnapped atleast once by Heaven's officials needing the Emperor to approve paperwork. Bao screamed and grunted, rampaging around the imperial Palace the whole time.

The Queen Mother is saddened but adoring - her husband truly has passed on, but this little angel is a wonderful new beginning for him. She hopes to reunite in a later life.

Demons in general are pretty hopeful of Bao''s existance. Now that the Jade Emperor has been reborn on one of their kind - perhaps demonkind will be elevated once more? They'll have to wait until she's out of diapers before they start placing bets.

Princess Iron Fan's immediate reaction (after dealing with the shock of losing her estranged father) is to burst out; "HAH!" at the irony. Her father disapproved of her marriage to the Demon Bull King for his race - only to be reborn as a pig demon! The coincidence is hilarious! The Demon Bull fam does visit the baby girl to send their blessings, and offer advice based on how chaotic little Red was as a calf. Bao adores her giant uncle Bull since he's fluffy and big and smells like her baba when he cooks. She also gets super attached to Red Son for similar reasons - though Tang suspects it's because she smells grilled meat on him.

MK adores Bao, and will kill everything in the three Realms if anything happened to her. Bao in turn loves her big bro - even if she bites him and steals his food.