#I think this is a pretty interesting facet of renzou's character but I don't think I've seen it talked about that much?

[pnk-spiderr]

if I yapped about how toxic masculinity plays into renzou shima's character would yall be interested

[m34gs]

so, a little rant.

Hey so, if I choose, when writing fanfic, to write Yukio Okumura or Renzou Shima doing Not Great Things, making Not Great Choices, or straight-up Behaving Badly; that is not an indication that I hate them, nor is it an invitation for people to come bash their characters to me. I'm not doing it out of malice for them. I'm doing it because I love them. I love their bad choices. I love their frustration and their anger and the fact they are literal teenagers acting how teenagers will. I love the different facets of their characters.

I love that Shima comes across as the "girl-obsessed play-boy" type when he's really not. I love that, while he is somewhat lighthearted at times, he's mostly hiding part of himself. I love him so much. It's easy to, from an outside perspective, condemn his joining of the illuminati. However, he was a teenage boy, in a family where he was told EXACTLY how his life was gonna go, and made to feel that he had to carry a burden he didn't want, and constantly reminded of the oldest brother that died that he never got to meet. It's normal for teens to want to try new things and to try and be independent and make their own choices (even if those choices end poorly) in even a regular, healthy setting growing up. With all of that added on, is it any surprise that he thought spying for the illuminati would be a good idea? Furthermore, the illuminati aren't fucking idiots. Of course they found the child that seemed to be struggling with following along a course of life he found no real attachment to. They're not gonna be able to convince someone who's sense of identity is rooted firmly against them. They're going to prey on a person's insecurities and needs. Not once did Shima feel like he was asked what he wanted to do. His brothers are old enough to remember the oldest, and to feel strongly about his death and want to take on the mantle, but Shima doesn't have those memories and connection. Of course he's gonna feel like he's being forced into things he doesn't wanna do. And then something interesting comes along and he decides to try it. Again, he is a teenager. He can't be expected to conduct himself within the same expectations as an adult.

Plus, he figures it out in the end. He figures out he values his friends. He feels guilty about the betrayal. He chooses their side later on. He makes a choice. But, it's *his* choice, not something he was forced to choose.

I also can't help but feel that if he didn't have that "girl-crazy" aspect to him, people would be a lot more forgiving to his character. Which is annoying. I mean, don't like him if you don't want to like him, that's fine. But he's also acting like a teenage boy in that moment. Yeah, his jokes don't always land and they're pretty perverted at times; but have you ever fucking met a teenager, regardless of gender? They make dumb jokes. They say stupid shit. They talk about raunchy things. And, as we go further into his character, it's not actually that he's Like That. He exaggerates a lot of his characteristics. I mean, who would think that the goofy, can't-get-a-date, yet desperate for girls, teenager with pink fucking hair is someone even capable of being a spy? Yeah, he likes girls. Yeah, he likes Izumo. Yeah, he's a bit of an idiot and he really can't seem to get a date, and he's a dork, but when we finally get the betrayal and the reveal, there's a part of him that is *different* and it has been hiding. He has more confidence than he lets on. He's more skilled than he lets on. And he's more conflicted over what he's doing than he lets on.

Let's not forget he's also being monitored by the illuminati, even if he is spying for them. As I said, they're not stupid. So, of course he has to put on a front, even when he might think he's alone with friends.

The thing is, I love his character, I love his development. I love experimenting with him making bad choices or engaging in dark behaviour. He's special to me. I tend to avoid fics that bash him or hate on him, which is my personal choice. I won't go after people writing those kinds of fics because they can write whatever kind of fic they want and enjoy it however they choose. But don't think for one second that I'm ever happy to see people hating on him in my comment sections or messages. I don't write him as dark or twisted because I hate him. I do it because exploring negative character aspects and negative character growth is one of the highest forms of love I can bestow upon my beloved faves.

The same goes for Yukio.

Yukio is, again, a literal teenager. He was forced into an adult role far too soon. He lost his father figure and didn't even get to say goodbye. He is fucking *grieving* but at the same time he now has to help his older brother figure out the world of Exorcists, while also keeping it a secret that he's the son of Satan. Unfortunately, Rin is not that good at keeping those kind of secrets and also has a shit ton of factors working against him; like unexpected visits from Amaimon, difficult to control powers, and being a bit hotheaded. Yukio is supposed to protect Rin, but within a few months of realizing his powers, Rin is suddenly being persecuted by The Entire Vatican, and scheduled for execution. Do people think it's easy to watch your twin brother get persecuted for something that's not his fault?

Not only that, but Yukio has an inferiority complex. Rin was born with the physical strength. Rin was born with Satan's flames. Yukio was not. Yukio was reliant on Rin when they were really little. And that still frustrates him to this day. On top of the fears of Rin being executed, the stress of being an exorcist, the demands of being a teacher, and the loneliness of having lost Shiro, Yukio also feels inadequate and has a thirst to prove that he is just as good as Rin. While Yukio has to work his ass off to get where he is, Rin comes by strength more naturally and that irritates Yukio. Yet, he also hates himself for feeling that way because what kind of brother thinks like that?

In addition to all of this inner turmoil, Yukio lives in constant fear that he will awaken demonic powers as well. He has a front-row seat to how much people hate Rin on-sight for just existing as the Son of Satan with blue flames. Yukio has built up reputation, connections, and skills. He has worked so hard for this. But, if he shows one ounce of demonic ability, it could all burn to the ground. And this is something he has zero actual control over.

It's clear when, in the manga, he does start to awaken things, just how panicked he is. He's skipping his physical. He's trying to avoid others. He can't let them find out because all his hard work will be as good as gone and not having demonic powers was both at once a source of jealousy against Rin but also a fucking comfort because he wasn't up there on the chopping block.

He is in so much turmoil, and for people to just go "he's treating Rin poorly" or "he's not fair to Rin"; like, yeah, he isn't. He is not treating Rin fairly or nicely. But it's not like most other people would be able to manage everything he is going through AND be the Ultimate Best Supportive Brother on top of it all. Give the guy a break.

I hate the idea of characters needing to always act Correctly (TM) even when facing the most extreme and awful circumstances, lest they become condemned and hated by fandom. For one, it's nowhere near realistic. And two, how fucking boring would it be to never see characters make big, high-stakes mistakes? No, their circumstances don't mean their actions are "good" or "excusable"; but it gives a lot of light onto why they act the way they do and that is the more important part. Understanding characters and their motives is way more important than making sure you only like the "good" characters. That's where the reading comprehension comes in. That's where people can practice and learn to think about how a person's circumstances and environment might influence them. That's where people can explore the fact that "good" and "bad" are overly simplistic terms that really have no business being applied to people; as people can behave in both "good" and "bad" ways...often even within the same day. People are far too diverse in personality and actions to ever be categorized fully into neat little boxes of "good person", "bad person", and that is reflected very well in both Yukio's and Shima's characters.