#I think theres a christmas lego leia

[morgan-n-cheese-91]

My mom got me a lego star wars advent calendar and it's now staring at me bc I won't let me start it until saturday

[kncrowder88]

While this is by far not the best year, there are some things about it I just can’t get over. That will make it memorable and worth having lived through. Things that I am so glad I got to see and share with others.

Early in the year I felt lost, alone, and like I was going to have one shitty year. I had a job but I didn’t feel like that mattered. For many reasons (Trump included) I was starting to lose hope. I hung on because of a few things. One of those being Tumblr (I loved the Star Trek fandom here and I was gradually moving into the Harry Potter fandom on here). By the start of this year, my blog was becoming more and more the things I liked. Not just dominated by Trek (sorry those who followed me for Trek).

And it kept me going. Kept me pushing through. And right beside it was the eager anticipation of watching Beauty and the Beast in theaters. I grew up loving this movie. Bell was my princess, my heart, my inspiration. The one who taught me to never, never, take shit from anyone and to never settle for someone just because they liked me. It took awhile for me to remember that lesson, mental health kicking my arse. But I waited, I wanted to see. Wanted to experience this movie in theaters for myself. I don’t remember if I saw it as a kid in theaters, I just remember loving it. As much as I loved Trek and Harry Potter.

Seeing Belle come to life in theaters, seeing what they did with the movie. I loved it, despite it being nearly shot for shot what the animated was. I loved that aspect of it because it brought this fairy tale to life before my eyes and reminded me ... be the Belle to my own story. At this point, I decided there was hope. I mean, before this I watched Lego Batman and it was good but it didn’t inspire me. Hidden Figures gave me hope but I didn’t get to see it in theaters. Moana was similar. Those two movies are brilliant and amazing but ... they were not what kept me pushing through my days. I watched them but all the while I wanted to see Beauty and the Beast. And when I did ... I felt like I could push further.

2017 could have been the year that defeated me. But early one tiny things kept me going. Seeing Hidden Figures gave me hope that BATB would turn out right. Seeing Moana gave me hope that Disney can get things moving this year. And BATB made me want to wake up the next day and take my family to see this movie (I did, I say it like four times opening weekend alone).

I hung on, and I’m so glad I did because not two months later JK Rowling apologized for Snape’s death, the Snape fandom banded together and created such an amazing community, and that lead to me finding more Snily fans. And my Harry Potter fandom life grew. While I stepped away from Trek for awhile, eagerly anticipating a new series, I got to watch a community come together and thrive.

And if that wasn’t enough. Wonder Woman came onto the big screen and I cried. Repeatedly. I took my niece to see it and not for the first time did I realize just how much this girl adores her female characters. Star Trek became something she liked because Janeway was the Captain. Star Wars is something she likes because Rey is there. And Doctor Who ... telling her the next Doctor was going to be a female had her eyes lighting up like a christmas tree.

And that’s the next thing. The Doctor was announced as going to be female. This year just kept giving me things. Star Trek gave me it’s first gay couple and then also gave me disabled characters, characters struggling with their mental health, characters who could have cured their problems but opted to learn to live with them, two woman dancing together and not having to hide it, two married men (one of whom is also not white and is a Doctor, the other of whom is now high on mushrooms like constantly - theres more but seriously he is so high), an amazing Admiral character who is A) female and B) lovable rather than annoying and typically disliked. My fandoms gave me so much this year and I was so excited for what else they could bring me.

When I finally watched Guardians of the Galaxy volumn 2, I was so glad that yet again we got to see some amazing characters come to live on screen.But before this .... I got to watch Bill Potts. I got to see Doctor Who. And even more .....

I. Got. To. See. Wonder. Woman. I know I already mentioned it but I’m not sure some people realize what that meant to me. I literally went home from watching the movie and scoured the web to try to find a copy to watch illegally. I needed to see it again and again and again. I waited to see it for the first time specifically with my niece because I wanted to see it with her first. Not with anyone else. And I don’t regret it. That girl wants every Wonder Woman comic book ever. I have been able to introduce her to so many female characters to admire and getting to do that with Wonder Woman, when it was also my first time with this character, was something I will never forget. It has me crying even now.

I got to watch Thor Ragnorak, not in theaters but yet again I got to see some amazing characters (do keep in mind I’m talking about my female characters right now not all the other ones) come to life. And during all this time, my fandoms were still thriving and supporting and keeping me going. When I felt like sinking, Snapedom was there to keep me going. When I felt alone and lost, Snapedom was there to help me not be so lost. When I felt like I was losing people, Trek was there to remind me that I wasn’t.

I didn’t think this year could get any better. I got so much given to me in my fandoms that I was certain when I saw Star Wars The Last Jedi, it would be no different than all the other times I watch Star Wars. Entertaining but not something I’d ever throw myself into. Rebels, The Clone wars ... sure I watched those and Thrawn books now sit on my shelf but I didn’t really care. Not enough to end a movie/episode and want to see it again right then. Right there. But .... I was wrong. This year had one more thing to give me. One more thing to show me. And that was Leia Organa, Princess, General, Rebel fighter, Resistance leader ..... using the force and pulling herself back to her people.

Yet again I was crying at a movie and it wasn’t because of anything but a character I enjoyed finally, finally, using the very thing that had been hinted at for years. I could go on and on about the response to this and how frustrating it was to deal with but positive post.

In the end, this year gave me strong female characters. Returned female characters to me and gave them so much more. Brought me fandoms uniting, people to talk to, and communities I could turn to in my darker times. This year told me that I matter. That I’m worth it. That no matter who is in charge, no matter what the world is trying to do to me, no matter what ... I am not alone. And I intend to enter 2018 knowing this, ready for whatever the year has, and demanding that everyone gets to know what it’s like to feel like they matter. Every deserves representation, everyone NEEDS it. I am ready to cling to my hope and push forward. And I will drag people along with me until they find their own.

I am my own Wonder Woman. My own Belle. My own Snape. My own Janeway. My own Leia. My own Rey. My own Doctor. I am every character I admire and adore, male or female, and I will strive to embody the best of them so that I can be the best person I can be.

[c-e-l-e-s-t-i-a-l-n-y-m-p-h]

Can I do all? xx

1: Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? Closed2: Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel? Busted 3: Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? Out4: Have you ever stolen a street sign before? Almost 5: Do you like to use post-it notes? Yeah, but I mostly just use them to decorate pages in my art journal 6: Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? Not really 7: Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees? Neither 8: Do you have freckles? No, but I wish I did; I find them so adorable 9: Do you always smile for pictures? Sometimes, but I’m super insecure about it 10: What is your biggest pet peeve? I’ve too many to name honestly 11: Do you ever count your steps when you walk? Not anymore 12: Have you ever peed in the woods? So many times 13: What about pooped in the woods? No14: Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing? Sometimes 15: Do you chew your pens and pencils? If I’m anxious or distracted 16: How many people have you slept with this week? Just my teddy bear :^)17: What size is your bed? Queen, I think 18: What is your Song of the week? Anyone Else But You by the Moldy Peaches 19: Is it okay for guys to wear pink? Yeah20: Do you still watch cartoons? Pfft what? N-no…21: Whats your least favorite movie? Tbh I’ve like most that I’ve seen so far 22: Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? In my DMs, since nobody ever goes there :^) 23: If you’re a girl, bra size? If you’re a guy, pants size? 38 C24: What do you dip a chicken nugget in? Usually nothing, but ig ketchup and bbq sauce 25: What is your favorite food? Grilled ham and cheese tbh26: What movies could you watch over and over and still love? Moonrise Kingdom, the Harry Potter and LOTR movies, Fantasia, and the Last Unicorn 27: Last person you kissed/kissed you? My girlfriend 28: Were you ever a boy/girl scout? For like three months 29: Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? No, I’m too self conscious for that 30: When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? A few months ago 31: Can you change the oil on a car? Yeah32: Ever gotten a speeding ticket? Nope33: Ever ran out of gas? Nope 34: Favorite kind of sandwich? (See 25) 35: Best thing to eat for breakfast? Ham, egg, and cheese Croissanwiches from BK 😂36: What is your usual bedtime? Between 9p-4a… my sleep schedule is so fucked tbh37: Are you lazy? When my depression gets bad38: When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? Usually Princess Leia. She was my role model growing up 39: What is your Chinese astrological sign? Capricorn 40: Are you horny? Always 41: Do you have any magazine subscriptions? Does Highlights from when I was 8 count? 😂42: Which are better legos or lincoln logs? Legos43: Are you stubborn? Y E S 44: Who is better…Leno or Letterman? Don’t know or care 45: Ever watch soap operas? Used to 46: Are you afraid of heights? Yeah but it doesn’t ever really stop me47: Do you sing in the car? Yeah 48: Do you sing in the shower? Yeah49: Do you dance in the car? Yep50: Ever used a gun? Not yet51: Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? This year for choir lol52: Do you think musicals are cheesy? Yes but in a good way 53: Is Christmas stressful? Yes 54: Ever eat a pierogi? Y E S 55: Favorite type of fruit pie? Cherry, probably 56: Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Archaeologist, spy, and artist 57: Do you believe in ghosts? Not sure58: Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? A lot59: Take a vitamin daily? Yeah60: Wear slippers? Sometimes 61: Wear a bath robe? If I had one, I would 62: What do you wear to bed? Usually just panties, but sometimes if I’m feeling wild I’ll wear fuzzy Eeyore pjs63: First concert? Taylor Swift’s Fearless tour64: Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Walmart tbh65: Nike or Adidas? Adidas? Idk66: Cheetos Or Fritos? Cheetos67: Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Peanuts 68: Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? Possibly 69: Ever take dance lessons? Yeah but I got discouraged and quit. I really regret it70: Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? I honestly don’t see anyone sticking around that long lol71: Can you curl your tongue? Yeah, I can do a clover too 72: Ever won a spelling bee? Yeah73: Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yes74: Own any record albums? One75: Own a record player? No, we got rid of it76: Regularly burn incense? Yeah 77: Ever been in love? Yeah78: Who would you like to see in concert? So many people 79: What was the last concert you saw? Disturbed and Breaking Benjamin 80: Hot tea or cold tea? Hot tea81: Tea or coffee? Tea but I like coffee too 82: Sugar or snickerdoodles? I don’t know?83: Can you swim well? Not at all 84: Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Yeah85: Are you patient? Not as much as I used to be 86: DJ or band, at a wedding? Band87: Ever won a contest? Yeah88: Ever have plastic surgery? No89: Which are better black or green olives? I love both equally 90: Can you knit or crochet? Not anymore 91: Best room for a fireplace? Living room 92: Do you want to get married? Yes, eventually 93: If married, how long have you been married? 94: Who was your HS crush? This one girl lol95: Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? No96: Do you have kids? No97: Do you want kids? I’m honestly not sure98: Whats your favorite color? Lavender 99: Do you miss anyone right now? Yes