#I think the understanding that a book is bigger than whatever spin an English class put on it is a freeing revelation for a lot of readers

[allieinarden]

The original “curtains were blue” meme that everybody is still referencing actually made an excellent point that I’d cosign.

[studying-tips-and-such]

Some advice for sorting out your priorities and how to not get lost in studyblr aesthetic, I guess?

 Before I begin, I apologise for my english, it’s not my first language. Forgive me for typos and grammar mistakes. 

Also, before you start reading, keep in mind that I have nothing against studyblr community or people who are trying hard to make their blogs look aesthetic and pretty. This is mainly aimed at people who simply can’t do that and feel bad about themeselves because of that. But, there will also be some (well, a lot of actually) advice that can apply to anyone, so feel free to dig in!

I’ve been seeing many useful posts here, in studyblr community, about studying and organising, how to not stress yourself out, what to do before an exam, what to do when you’re starting an UNI or a college.

A lot of stuff I am reblogging can’t be applied to me because:

a) I’m still in high school and a lot of these posts are for college folks even if I try hard to find posts that can apply to everyone b) I live in a dormitory in a small, cramped room where I have little to no personal space and/or time

I am pretty sure there are other folks like me who don’t have time, personal space, money, internet etc., and you’re frustrated because you can’t make your blog look pretty and aesthetic, you can’t organise your own studying space because you don’t have one, your schedule is barelly giving you some free time, really, I can continue forever like this.

Don’t forget that the main point of studyblr is not to make things look pretty and cute. It’s to give and get advice on how to study properly and how to improve.

If you don’t have time to make everything look pretty, then don’t. Don’t sacrifice your study time just because you want to post a good looking picture on tumblr.

If you have to study and you have an urge to take a picture of your books and notebooks, go ahead, do it, but you don’t have to post right away. Put your phone away and continue with your work, the picture will still be there and you can post it while you’re taking a break or when you’re finished.

SCHOOL SUPPLIES

If you don’t have any money or you have to save your money, don’t spend it on new notebooks, markers, highlighters and pens that you don’t need. Control yourself. I know there are a lot memes and jokes about people who constantly hoard school supplies, and yes, they are funny, and yes, I’m guilty of doing this myself. But behind every joke there is a little bit of truth. Some stuff you’re never going to use and it is just going to take up space on your desk and in your drawers. 

“But I need that stuff!”  

That is okay, buddy. If you need something new because you’re running out of supplies, go ahead and buy it. But I’m sure as hell that you don’t need five markers, two sets of colouring pencils and ten pens just a week after you have bought new ones! 

Make a list before you go to a shop and don’t just make a mental list, you can’t rely on your brain when you already have a problem with hoarding, it will trick you into thinking you need more than you actually need. Take a minute to write it down on a piece of paper or your phone. That way you will know exactly what you need, you will stop yourself from buying too much and you won’t forget anything you actually need. I know this is the most cliché advice ever and that you’re probably rolling your eyes at this, but it doesn’t mean it is not important! 

Don’t feel silly to just turn around and put back on the shelf something you realised you don’t need, there is no shame in that. I was doing this, am doing this, and I probably will continue doing this. If you really need, run away from that aisle. Only important thing is that that something doesn’t exit the shop with you.

When should I buy supplies? 

That is easy! When you need them. 

You’re probably thinking: ‘Well duh. I know that I need to buy them when I need them, but when exactly should I buy them?’. 

What I’m trying to say is, you shouldn’t make big supply runs just because it’s ‘that time of the year’. Yes, it can make you feel better because it is sort of a fresh start, and I completly understand it, sometimes it is okay, but ask yourself if you really need it and most important, if you can afford it.

When you need to make a bigger supply run, list everything you already have, I can’t stress enough how important this is! A lot of people buy stuff they already have and didn’t use at all, just beacuse it’s time to buy something new. Don’t. Do. This. 

BUY WHAT YOU NEED THE MOST FIRST!!! Start with the most basic things. Buy stuff you use all the time and you are 100% you will have to use it right away. My advice is to firstly buy notebooks and pencils or pencil leads if you use a mechanical pencil (you can never have enough of those!).  That is the most important for me, but again, it depends on your school, your college, your program, your subjects, your classes, and your preferences of course. Sit down and ponder a little before you start buying supplies, you probably won’t need everything you thought you needed. Your wallet will be grateful for this.

Okay, but what about my work space?

Listen, we are all human beings. We make mess often. I know that you can feel under pressure to have everything tidy and sort out at all times when you see your favourite studyblr blog and how pretty and clean their desk and work space looks. But they probably don’t have everything clean all the time either! 

People mostly post on the internet only the best of what they do, it doesn’t mean that everything is perfect when they don’t have to take pictures. 

Don’t let that get to you, and don’t ever let poeple convince you (explicitly or not) that their lifes are perfect or better. They’re not. 

Make sure that your stuff is organised. Not organised because you think it looks pretty or you have seen someone else doing it like that. Sure, you can have candles and plants on your desk, but if you then don’t have space to do actual work, what’s the point? 

Organise your work space so you can easily find all your stuff and have an easy access to everything you need. Don’t feel bad if it doesn’t look exactly like what you had hoped it would look like. Everyone is unique, everybody has their own way of doing stuff and as long as it works for you, you’re the real winner here!

If you can’t commit enough time for decorating, leave it for when you don’t have to work. Once again, don’t let your grades suffer because you wanted a pretty picture! It’s not worth it, I’m telling you from experience. 

Don’t stress if your desk is not clean 24/7, sometimes you just wont have time to clean up and that is okay. Earth won’t stop spinning. 

What should I do with my studyblr then?

You want me to make it simple? You do whatever you want. 

Your blog is your blog. Nobody can tell you how should your blog look or how frequently you should post. I can’t tell you what to do. 

Everything that I have said so far is just my suggestions, you’re not obligated to listen to them. 

And also don’t fell obligated to post all the time just because someone else is. Find your own pace that doesn’t stress you out and doesn’t get in the way of your duties. It’s kinda contra-productive when, because of the studyblr, you don’t have time to do some actual studying.

Just don’t let your blog be higher on your priority list than school and studying.  

Sorry because this is all kinda jumbled. I didn’t have an actual plan when I started writing this post and this is not even remotely close to everything I wanted to write, but it took me three hours to type this out and I just want to get it away from me. 

I hope I helped someone, and feel free to add any advice you think it is important! 

[justtryingtwolive]

Hello

TW: self harm, ED

I know this is really long but it’s all worth it to understand me. I’m not great at talking about myself but here it goes... My name is Marina, I was recently diagnosed with fibromyalgia. This means that I am in a lot of pain most of the time, the issue with fibromyalgia is that there is no cause for the pain it just exists. To understand me and the causes you need to understand my life so...

As a young kid growing up I played outside a lot, spen the summers swimming in lakes and the winters figure skating. When I was 9 I started to train for competitive figure skating. At 10 took a year off to focus on dance and how to be more fluid with my movements. This year was amazing, I met so many new people, learned ballet, jazz, lyrical and tried hip hop. This was also the year I goined Girl Guides I had done Brownies a couple years before but that was my parrents choice. I had always wanted to move up to Guides but it conflicted with skating so I couldn’t. After the year was up I went back to skating. I had done a bit of training in my off year but not too much so I was a little rusty at first. It took me a couple weeks but I got back into it and was better than ever, but everyone else seemed to get skinnier and i got bigger. None of my old dresses fit nicely I needed all new skates, pants and tops. This was so embarrassing I had just taken a year off to get in better shape and I just ended up ballooning (or so I thought). This is when I started cutting back and selectively eating. I wouldn’t eat junk food, or eat after practice. I stopped having oatmeal and cereal for breakfast I instead had a frozen fruit smoothie. Lunch was easy because I just “forgot” my lunch at home, making sure I brought it once in a while to not seem suspicious. Dinner was hard to avoid, we had family dinner almost every night, if I had practice at 7 we ate at 6, I got off at 6 we ate at 7. The rink was walking distance from my house so I was often there on my own and just walked home. (This was in a small village where everyone knew each other). It started getting worse and worse but I started to lose weight and that meant I could jump higher and spin faster because I didn’t have as much gravity pulling me down. I felt like I was floating on air. I spent 15-20 hours a week on the ice and it only increased as I got older.

The worst part about going back was I couldn’t do Guides. When I started middle school I was able to join pathfinders and it set me on my new life journey, although I didn’t know it yet.

As a skater I got injured a lot, mostly just strains and sprains but the occasional break. It got to the point I would just wrap my anke, wrist, knee or whatever body part was hurting that day and ice it.

By the time I was 16 in Grade 10 I was competing at a youth provincal level. I was so excited, I had just qualified for my first national competition I was so excited it’s what I had dreamed of since I was 5. Getting ready for nationals was the hardest grind of my life, training went from 20 to 50 hours a week, I would spend entire days on the ice. I did school work in between ice times when they had to clean the ice. It was hard but I was loving it. My diet consisted of protein bars and coffee. (I blame this for my ice coffee obsession) at this point I was no more than 100 lbs and 5’4. I felt on top of the world.

But a week before nationals my ankles started getting really bad, then it was my knees, then other parts like my wrists and shoulders. I didn’t think anything of it at first I till I woke up one day and could barely walk, still I brushed it off as just muscle strain from working too hard, I would be able to rest in a week. Typically my joints would feel better throughout the day as I warmed them up. By the time I got to nationals I was so hyped, I had never competed on a scale like this, there were cameras, people bought real tickets and I suddenly got overtly nervous. I was walking through the dressing room areas and everyone else had the expensive rolly skate bag with the tailored dresses made custom by a professional and I had a ratty old suitcase we found in the basement and a handmade dress sewn by my mother. As a kid I was embarrassed, everyone else looked so much better than me. But I was just happy to be there and able to compete. The competition took place over a couple days. I was close to the beginning because I was new and didn’t have a real chance at placing. I spent the first couple days grinding on the ice, or practicing in the hotel or in the pool or wherever I was. The day that I was finally going to compete in my short program I was up at 6 in the gym and on the ice by 8. The competition started at 1 and I was in the first group. We all got kicked off the ice about 11:30 so they could clean the ice and get ready. Looking back I don’t think I had eaten anything that day, I was so stressed and the thought of food made me sick. The first group of 10 skaters including me were let into the ice for a final 15 min warm up. This was it, after this I was officially and national level skater. And that’s where everything went wrong. I was practicing a double jump (I can’t remember which one anymore) and when I landed my foot slipped and I heard a crack. At first I didn’t thing anything of it and tried to get up but my right leg wouldn’t move properly. Then my tail bone started hurting and I started crying, I somehow managed to get myself up and over to my coach. I had a choice suck it up and compete or go see a doctor. I went to the comp medic to see what they thought and they rushed me to the hospital. (A lot of this is a blur that has been filled in with stories from my parents and friends) I was in the ER and the doctor told me I had a broken tail bone, not a big deal I’ve done that before, but also I had fractured part of my hip and needed surgery right away. After this I remember very little, only the roof of the surgical suite and waking up unable to move most of my body. I was devistated, of all times why did this have to happen now! I was on my way up I was living my dreams.

I was in the hospital for months. I couldn’t get out of bed because they casted my hip area and leg, it sounds really weird but I can’t explain it any better. This was the worst time in my life even 7 years later I can’t thing of anything worse. I went from being an athletic, skinny, girl always on the go. To lying in bed, eating chips and watching Netflix 24/7. During this time I went from under 100 to about 175 lbs in the span of months. I was so embarrassed and made my dysmorphia even worse. I went back to high school in May 2013. I hated every minute. Everyone looked at me and talked about me. I was the joke of the school. During this time I got really depressed my parents tried to get me to talk to someone but they made me very uncomfortable and I was very closed off eventually they gave up and told me to suck it up. I felt like the world hated me and that no one wanted me here anyway. I started self harming to numb the pain but also feel something. I felt like If I hurt me them maybe I won’t hurt any one else. My parents only recently found out about this recently.

I made it to the summer but nothing fit me, my bathing suits were like strings compared to what I now needed and I didn’t have any money to get new ones. That summer I spent doing a lot of lounging reading books, swimming and exploring nature around my house. Honestly looking back this was one of the best summers ever. I was home alone most of the time because my dad worked and my mum took my siblings to her cottage. This was more freedom than I had ever had I was able to do what I wanted I didn’t have a training schedule for the first time in 6 years. I wanted to go back to skating the next September, but everyone was whispering and looking at me just like in school but this time is was the adults, I don’t think I even made it onto the ice that day. I had just stared a new school, leaving all of my friends (not that I had many) behind and starting over where I knew no one. When registering for classes I picked the typical grade 11 English, math, bio,physics, chemistry. But I was left with some extra electives for the first time. At my new school they offered a dance program, but to get into the grade 11 class I needed grade 9 or 10 so first semester I took grade 9 and seccond I took grade 11. The dance teacher was very understanding about what was going on and allowed me to adapt to what I couldn’t physically so while still recovering. Even now she is my favourite teacher ever! I made it through my other classes and the rest of high school was pretty un eventful, except I started to get hurt again. I could just be walking on flat ground and my ankle would give out or my knee would lock up or my wrist hurt so bad I couldn’t take notes. I went to the ER at the start but each time they said they couldn’t find anything and they thought I was making it up. After a few months I stopped going because they seemed annoyed with me even though I was in crazy body pain. I couldn’t move some mornings, others I was fine, some days I needed crutches but others I could run and dance. It was crazy and everyone thought I was making it up so I started to belive them. I ended up taking an extra semester of high school to finish off some classes that I wanted for university. I also stayed behind because I needed to have jaw surgery. This was due to a craniofacial difference I was born with, a cleft lip and palate. While this surgery is not necessary in all cases, my jaw was small and slightly mis alligned. This was fine I had no issues with this I spent a week in the hospital, watched Netflix and hung out with friends. This stay wasn’t as hard because I could move around, I wasn’t confined to my bed.

In September 2016 I started University at Dalhousie I. Halifax , Nova Scotia. This was amazing because no one knew me there I didn’t have people holding me to old standards. I met some of my best friends (and former roommates) in my residence building. We would have movie parties in my room and study parties in another, it was a blast. I became vegetarian very quickly, partly due to the gross meat options in the meal hall but also because I didn’t like the taste of meat I had cut it out almost completely when I was young and didn’t like it after that. Another reason was the ethical portion of it, why should they die to feed me when I can survive without it.

First year ended and we all moved out and into other apartments, we were still close but not as close as we were. When I moved I started working at a Sobeys grocery store close to the school. It was great I was shy and quiet for the first little bit but I came out of my shell and now they want me back in it lol. During seccond year I was trained as a supervisor so I made sure that all the casheirs were looked after(I often describe it as adult babysitting). One day I was standing arround checking out how the night was and I notice this woman come in and she askes me where to find tape, she is wearing a Girl Guide shirt!! I had been trying to reach out to a unit here for a year!! I told her where to find it and quickly wrote my name number and email on a piece of paper and watched as she was trying to check out. I made sure to find her and open a register for her to go through. I also gave her my number and asked her to contact me and that I had been trying for a while to join a unit she seemed confused until she remembered she was wearing a guide shirt.

I get an email a few days later explaining what their unit was doing and they were exited to have me. So the next Thursday I show up to this meeting and the other leaders and I immediately clicked. One of them had just graduated from my program and most of the others were all young students just like me. That first meeting I ended up skipping a physics exam to go to, but I don’t regret it one bit. At the end of the year we were moving locations, this meant that the craft tote bins had to be removed and stored in someone’s house.

The only people returning was me and one other girl Natasha, she wasn’t there very often but she was super cute and seemed really nice. Since I had moved into a house I offered to store them in my place rather than her apartment. We spoke mostly over email for the first bit. I ended up running in to her at her work place and we finally exchanged numbers and facebooks. We talked a bunch over the summer to figure out what we wanted to do.

During this time I was trying to focus on me, I spent so much of my youth worring about how everyone else perceived me and not as much on how I did. I stoped self harming on my own but like anything else it’s addicting, I started talking to a therapist at the university and she recognized that yes I was depressed. she was also impressed that I was able to have the will power to stop on my own, but really I had just thrown out the jar and didn’t want to dig through the garbage. I started on some anti-depressants and it took a while but we found a good concoction.

When we started meeting to plan we were still kind of awkward, she was super sweet and I wanted to get to know her but I come off as overbearing sometimes and I didn’t want to scare her off. It worked out that we had the same time off classes. Whe had another class and I had work, so after class I would go to her school meet with her for ~3 hours then walk to work. The best part about Halifax is that the university’s are downtown and super close to everything, so even when busses are slow or not running it’s not too far a walk. During this time we became really close we spent a lot of time together planning, organizing and getting to the meeting location. For the first few months we bussed there each week with the craft totes, we then started to bring only what we needed but it was typically 4-6 reusable bags worth. Eventually we were able to leave them at the location, this made it much easier. Only having 2-3 bags worth each week. The next obstacle was cookies, we had 30 cases of cookes and neither of us had a car. Luckily our Commissioner was able to drop us off with the cookies. But we still hauled some to and from my house each week. With each week Natasha and I grew closer, she was the first person I came out to as bisexual. We also got a new leader Jordan, she is super nice and a real adult (not a student) I was worried at first that she would throw off our dynamic but she just made it better. In the winter I ended up buying a car, this was the smartest thing I’ve ever done. It made getting to work and guides easier, I could just keep stuff in my car I didn’t need to haul everything around with me. Unlike most units in our area, we stayed going until the end of June, many units close early due to students going home for the summer.

In May i had moved once again into a bigger house and Natasha was a huge help in that, she helped me set up my room and unpack. During this time I also went mostly vegan, there was some things that had milk or eggs in it but I did buy any more. We were rarely spending a day apart, we became best friends. We often went camping with her parter. The three of us would pack into my car and go, often booking a site on our way there. We stayed at 5 different provincal parks and visited about 10 others. We spent so much time together and it was some of the best times we would often get home and just sit in the car and have life chats or was really nice to be able to talk to someone who actually cared about how I was doing. My life seemed great for a bit, my one roommate stared to get toxic, she ended up kicking out my really good friend. I only stayed because I had nowhere else to go, I ended up getting a cat because she was so lonely and sad at the SPCA. She is abosolutly amazing and I love her to death! I don’t know what is it about petting cats that seems to make the rest of the world invisible. The toxicity got to the point of me wanting to sleep in my car rather than potentially run into her. This caused my anxiety to sky rocket and throw off the balance I had going.

Natasha started to talk to me about this pain she was having but having no idea why it was occurring. This reminded me of when I was younger and I would constantaly have weird pains I thought it was normal because there was no physical symptoms so I thought it happened to everyone. I talked to my doctor about it and he ordered a bunch of tests to try and determine what it was. All my tests came back clean and I seemed in perfect health. The stress of my living situation, as well as school and my grandfather passing away sent me into a spiral. There were days that I wouldn’t come out of my room. I often only left for work or the bathroom, I fell back into the not eating food habits, I stared self harming again. I was so low I went weeks without showering simply because I didn’t have the energy or will power to do so. My toxic roommate told me that my depression wasn’t valid and that my anxiety is fake, I got so mad that I slammed and locked my door, I left out my window and went for a drive. I ended up calling Natasha and she calmed me down, I don’t know where I’d be if she hasn’t picked up that phone call. By mid October I couldn’t stand it any longer. And I knew I need to make a change. At the same time I got my fibromyalgia diagnosis, which is a rule out everything else diagnosis. This also threw me through a loop realizing I don’t have to just internalize this and suck it up, this caused me to end up not going to classes in the fall because I simply couldn’t mentally or physically do it.

Natasha had been talking about moving out of her place and I thought this is my chance. We are already best friends we spend so much time together this will be great. In November we signed a lease and moved in later that month. It was a journey and a half, we tried to move as much as we could using my small car and managed most of it but beds and bigger stuff didn’t fit. We ended up sleeping on our camp matresses for the first little bit until we got our beds. All four of our cats are getting along for the most part. They are the cutest little demons, as I type this the 2 youngest are play fighting over top of me... ok no longer playing.

It has been a crazy couple moths with my diagnosis and trying to get meds to help it. Luckily my pain base line is really low, but it flares up a lot, often at work or when I’m not moving around a lot and it’s even worse on my period, I can’t walk some days it gets so bad. Luckily I have a team of amazing people working with me to get myself back on track. I’m back in school now and it’s going much better, I still haven’t found the perfect drugs but we are getting there. I have my down days but am having more and more up days. And I know that if ever I need something that I can always holler and/or pet cats. I have the best support team in the world and wouldn’t change a thing.