#I think that's one of the reasons I do appreciate the ability to look fem. because there's a certain kind of dynamic that people fall into

[neverendingford]

.

[osarina]

ᡣ𐭩 WERE WE BETTER UNKNOWN?

FEATURING: dazai osamu

SUMMARY: your story with dazai comes to a close... but is it really the end?

AUTHOR'S NOTES: guys. oh my god i have so much to say, i will put it all at the end. but i am so annoyed because the heart in the title looks wonky as hell—for some reason it looks fine on desktop but on mobile it’s fucked ip :’) comments & reblogs appreciated!

GENERAL WARNINGS: fem!reader, port mafia executive!reader, civilian!dazai, dazai's struggles w suicide & sh, reader partakes in mafia business, dazai isn't dazai without a bit of obsessiveness and possessiveness (the possessiveness doesn't come til later but the obsessiveness starts from day 0).

CHAPTER SPECIFIC WARNINGS: hardly edited. mentions of past suicide attempts (dazai). non-sexual nudity/intimacy. reader has 1 scar that dazai points out.

SEE: WASTELAND, BABY! SERIES MASTERLIST

Dazai dreams of a vast frozen lake.

Is he dreaming? He’s not sure. It’s cold, he shouldn’t be cold in dreams, right? 

He lets out a shaky breath, and he can see the cool air fan around him. He shivers, hands running up and down his arms to try to warm himself up, but it’s futile—the snow that flutters from the sky is sharp against his skin and the air is bitterly cold, but the wind is oddly still. Eerily still. His shoes crunch against the snowy bank as he draws a bit closer to the edge of the lake, trying to figure out where he is.

“... are we going to…”

Dazai startles at the vaguely familiar whispery voice, eyes wide and searching as he looks around trying to pinpoint who had spoken, but there’s no one in sight. He can hardly see

Hell, he thinks dizzily, is he in hell?

Dazai’s fascination with literature began with his fascination with death. It started as a child—morbid and odd as it might’ve been, he was bored with life. He supposes that it’s part of the reason why his siblings didn’t like him, besides his ability, of course. He always had questions that people couldn’t answer—what happens after someone dies? They go to heaven, honey, his mother would reply. How do you know that? We just do. But how? What if we don’t? What if we just die? Stop asking so many creepy questions, Osamu, his sister would snap at him, curling into his mother’s side. But what-

He would keep asking until his sister got visibly upset and his mother had to take her out of the room. He never really understood why—they were legitimate questions—but his mother’s evasion of the topic and his siblings’ aversion did not deter his curiosity. In fact, when the first of his cousins died at the hands of one of his others, it spiked his curiosity. He almost found himself jealous that they would have the answers to the questions that have been plaguing him for years.

His questions of self-worth and his place here on earth didn’t come until he was a bit older, but he supposes at some point they probably merged together. His own doubts about himself and his lack of normalcy compared to other people led to his general fascination with death slowly turning into fascination about his own death. He found it quite ironic, and maybe a bit disheartening—he can’t even die correctly—that of all of the many members of his family, the one obsessed with death was the one that survived the longest, in spite of actively striving for eternal rest.

His fascination with death was put to an abrupt halt by Odasaku’s arrival in his life. Or well, that’s not exactly right. His fascination with his own death was put to a halt—Odasaku humored all of his questions, even if some of his answers were absurd and nonsensical, but when Dazai tried to spin the conversation back to himself, Odasaku would put his foot down. 

Dazai only tried to kill himself once while he was living with him—it was around when Odasaku first took him in, and Dazai didn’t think the man would care all too much if he was gone. Ango was the one who found him in the bathroom, funny enough it was his first time meeting the other man, but when he woke up in the hospital, Dazai decided he never wanted to see that haunted expression on Odasaku’s face ever again. 

It was around then when Odasaku started telling him about his book, and he helped redirect Dazai’s unhealthy fascination with death to a different outlet: literature. The Divine Comedy, the Aeneid, the tale of Orpheus and Eurydice—it was Odasaku who introduced him to them all. He enjoyed reading other peoples’ interpretation of the afterlife; he and Odasaku would have full blown debates over which interpretation was nearest to truth. 

Dazai isn’t particularly convinced there is an afterlife at all, but he always thought that if there was one, it might look most like Dante Alighieri’s vision. 

Like this. 

“... can’t just stop, he’ll never let it be…”

This voice isn’t unfamiliar. Dazai’s head snaps up, eyes wide and searching as he tries to seek you out. Your voice sounds like it’s coming from all around him—the wind carries it, he can’t tell where you are and the icy air makes it hard for him to keep his eyes open to try to track you down. The wind is strange though; it stops blowing all around him, and instead begins billowing inward toward the center of the lake.

A foreboding feeling suddenly settles over Dazai.

Lake Cocytus—if this is what Dazai thinks it is, then it’s meant to represent the Ninth Circle. Treachery. A little ironic, maybe, considering loyalty is what got Dazai killed—your loyalty to the Port Mafia. 

Is he dead? He realizes suddenly that he very well might be, not quite as pleased with the idea as he might’ve been in the months before he met you. He feels… unfulfilled almost. He never finished Odasaku’s book. He didn’t even manage to get his degree. He felt what it was like to be loved for a few months, but it wasn’t enough. He’d wanted more. He wanted a life with you. 

He still wants a life with you, he thinks miserably. Even after everything that happened, he still wants it.

He must not be dead, he thinks absently, kicking at the snow on the banks of the lake before slowly treading out toward the center of it. If he was dead and really in the Ninth Circle of Hell, then he’d be stuck in the lake with the rest of the betrayers. Although, Dazai thinks if he really was going to hell, it wouldn’t be this circle—he doesn’t think he’s ever really betrayed anyone to this degree.

Or maybe he did, his thoughts take another dejected turn. Would his ‘betrayal’ to you count? It’s not like he actively tried to deceive you, so he thinks he should be given some leeway. But maybe it wouldn’t be too bad, if he’s here because he deceived you, then you would certainly be here for betraying him—he wouldn’t mind being stuck in hell if you were there with him. You both could be buried in the ice together, eternally frozen and suffering for betraying each other. 

It’s kind of romantic, if you really think about it.

Something bubbles in his chest—maybe a laugh, or maybe a sob, he can’t tell, he thinks maybe he’s a bit hysterical. 

It must just be a dream, he thinks again for some minimal solace. Or maybe a warning, maybe he’s somewhere caught in-between and God is striking down his hammer, warning him this is where he’s going to end up if he doesn’t change his ways like the message of the Divine Comedy itself.

The thought makes him laugh.

He sobers up quickly though as he starts his trek across the lake, thinking that maybe if he got to the other side, or the center, he’d wake up. He thinks you would find this funny—one of your first conversations with him had been about The Divine Comedy, and he spent many nights at dinner roping you into conversation about it, and convincing you to read some of the other books and poems that Odasaku had introduced him to. You-

“... one life or hundreds, that’s what he said…”

Dazai nearly slips on the ice when he hears your voice again, looking around as if you would just magically appear around him. You don’t, but it does leave Dazai a little disheartened hearing you repeat the words that Mori had said to convince you to kill him. He sighs as he keeps his gaze trained ahead, careful to not look down at the ice lest he find himself looking at something he would rather not.

The outskirts of the water were the traitors to kin—Dazai remembers that well. The first time he read the poem, he realized that this is where the majority of his cousins and older brothers would be. They spent almost two years killing each other for their grandfather’s inheritance; Dazai went from having seven siblings and almost two dozen cousins to three siblings and a handful of cousins by the time of the coup.

Traitors to country in the next section—Dazai thinks a bit gleefully that Mori would end up there. The Port Mafia isn’t exactly a city or country, but it’s still an entity, and Mori certainly betrayed it when he killed Dazai’s grandfather in his own bed, no matter what the reason for it might be.

Traitors to guests in the next section—this gives Dazai a bit of pause, he doesn’t know if he knows anyone that would fit in that section. Ui, maybe? Inviting him to work with his journalism house only to give him up to the Guild. Maybe Mori again, Dazai thinks, highly amused, because Dazai was a guest to you, and therefore, the Port Mafia, when everything happened. 

And the last section—traitors to benefactors. He can’t avoid looking at them; they’re the only ones above the surface of the lake, grotesque sculptures of ice that decorate the surface of the center of the lake. His steps slow as he walks through them all, a heavy feeling settling over him as his gaze focuses on the oddly familiar sculpture in the very center of the lake.

Is that-

“There’s only one way this ends.”

Dazai’s breath catches sharply. He slips on the ice as he rushes forward, eyes widening and hands flying forward to catch himself, but his stomach lurches painfully and before his hands can hit the ground-

Dazai sits up with a ragged gasp, eyes wild and nails digging into the fabric of the soft couch he’s laying on. His head is aching and he feels sluggish; he’s still reeling from what he’d just woken up from, but his heart rate is starting to calm down.

Just a dream, he confirms, but now he’s more preoccupied with trying to figure out where the hell he is and why he isn’t dead, because the last thing he remembers is you lifting a gun to his head and pulling the trigger. The room he’s in is small—there’s no windows, there’s a tiny kitchen on the left side of the room, and on the other side-

“Everyone out.”

Dazai’s gaze settles on you. You’re standing near the far wall—you haven’t changed from what you were wearing at the conference room with the other Port Mafia executives, and Dazai can see Ace’s blood still crusted around your finger nails and splattered on your shirt. Your gaze is focused on him, an unreadable expression on your face, and Dazai is so tunnel visioned on you that he hardly notices that there are a handful of other people in the room: your three subordinates, Nakahara Chuuya, Albatross and one other who had been at the fight against the Guild.

They don’t argue with you, most of them file out of the room without a word, only Albatross and Chuuya linger. The ginger gives you a long look before saying, “We’ll buy some more time. Just… figure out if this is really what you want to do, okay?”

You finally look away from him at Chuuya’s words, cringing and averting your gaze to the ground. You say quietly, “It doesn’t matter what I want. It has to be done.”

Chuuya sighs but nods, motioning for Albatross to leave with him—and then the two of you are left alone. You don’t approach him. Ironically, you look like the one akin to a cornered animal as if you hadn’t been the one to shoot him. If anyone should feel like a cornered animal right now, it should be him.

Instinctively, he lifts his hand to his forehead, frowning at the bandages wrapped around the top of his head. He looks back up at you curiously, but you grimaced and looked away as soon as he touched his forehead, so he can’t catch your eye.

He has a million questions he wants to ask. What happened? Why didn’t the bullet kill me? Why didn’t you kill me? Did you believe me? Do you believe me? Are we okay?

Dazai doesn’t know if he wants to know the answer to the last question, so he settles with: “Where are we?” 

Though you’d stiffened as soon as his lips parted to speak, you relax when you hear the question he asked.

“A safe house in Sakae,” you say quietly. Dazai starts to sit up but his vision swims so he has to stop and rest back down against the arm of the couch, blinking furiously. “You should take it easy… You’re probably going to feel a bit off for a couple of hours.”

Dazai is about to ask you what exactly happened, but the words die on his lips when you finally draw closer to him. You sit down on the couch next to where he’s laying, your body brushes his and Dazai feels warm. The remnants of the frigid cold of his dream vanishes as soon as the warmth of your body grazes his—he knows that there are many things that need to be addressed, but he would be content to avoid those topics and bask in your comfort for as long as he can. 

His eyes slide shut as you reach up to cup his cheek. He doesn’t even bother reopening them when he feels you lift your other hand to remove the bandages from around the top of his head—he thinks maybe he could almost doze back off. It’s only when you let out a soft sigh and fasten them back on does he finally bother to open his eyes again. 

“I don’t have enough bandages on me already?” he asks, his voice is light and the smile on his lips is teasing as he tries to lighten the mood a little, but it doesn’t work.

You don’t respond to his comment. You look down, and the small smile on your lips doesn’t meet your eyes, so his falls off his face as he stares up at you carefully and finally asks the much dreaded question that would lead to even more dreaded questions:

“Will you tell me what happened?”

--

“We need to go,” Chuuya says, hand wrapped around your wrist tightly. You don’t budge from where you’re standing, staring at where Dazai had fallen back over the edge. It was a short drop with mud softening the fall, he would be okay—if everything went according to plan, that is. Otherwise, the bullet you just shot at him killed him anyway, so the fall is inconsequential. “Come on. We can’t stay here. We have to go.”

“How do-”

“Not here,” Chuuya hisses. “Come on.”

“Chuuya-” you breathe out, voice wavering over his name. You can’t bring yourself to move even as Chuuya tries to drag you away. “Chuuya, I need to kn-”

Need to know if this worked. Need to know if he was able to stop the bullet. Need to know if you actually just killed the boy you’re in love with.

“Not here,” Chuuya replies, voice harsh, cutting you off before you can say anything more incriminating. 

This time, he doesn’t wait for you to follow him—he yanks you along with him, not even bothering to steady you when you stumble. You know you should snap yourself out of this, you know Mori has people trailing you to ensure you follow through with Dazai’s execution, but you’re haunted by the expression on his face when you pulled the trigger.

He accepted it.

You had the gun to his head. You asked him to forgive you. He said he did, and he accepted that he was about to die at your hands. A part of you is eager to convince yourself that maybe he saw through your plan, that he realized you weren’t going to kill him, but that look in his eyes…

He didn’t know, and he accepted it anyway.

Your stomach churns. The ragged breath you take in cuts off abruptly as you gag over it—you saw the blood, you don’t know if Chuuya was able to stop it. You don’t know if Dazai’s nullification ability prevented Chuuya from using his own ability to slow the bullet before it killed him. You don’t know if he fell backward because he was shot or because the high dosage sedative that you swiped from Mori’s office set in as quickly as it was supposed to. You don’t even know if Chuuya had been able to inject it in him with his ability. You don’t know anything.

“Don’t you dare throw up on me,” Chuuya mutters as he opens the car door and ushers you inside. 

Instead of sitting in the front with Albatross, he sits in the back with you, sharing a sharp look with Albatross before the other man finally pulls away from the ports. He still doesn’t say anything else—he knows better. This is one of the Port Mafia’s cars, tapped and actively being transmitted to one of Kouyou’s subordinates who will report to her and Mori anything that seems off, and you need to buy as much time as you possibly can before Mori realizes Dazai isn’t dead.

Because Dazai isn’t dead. He can’t be dead.

It worked. It all worked.

It had to have. 

Just as you expect, your phone rings as soon as the car starts moving. Mori has eyes on you—he was waiting for you to finish with the execution before calling. You’re certain that he’s going to send someone to check the body now; he doesn’t trust you to finish the job, not when something as fickle and unpredictable as love is involved. 

Klaus will have to be quick—you don’t even know if he was able to find a lookalike to kill so he could swap out the body. You only were able to give him a twenty, maybe thirty, minute heads up. Dazai is plain looking, yes, and the mud he dropped in should do some work at concealing his identity, but if Mori’s shadow sends him a picture to confirm the kill, the slim amount of time you hope to have bought with your fake out will be halved.

You stare down at the phone and let it ring once, twice, and finally on the third ring, you lift the phone to your ear and accept the call, waiting for Mori to speak.

“Has it been done?”

“Yes,” you reply, voice steady even if your fingers are trembling around the phone. “Do you need me back at headquarters?”

“No, I’m sure that wasn’t easy for you. You should get some rest. I have a meeting with Tolstoy in a bit anyway. I’ll meet with you tomorrow after I have tea with Elise-chan so you can debrief me on the meetings with the Guild,” Mori says easily, his tone is light and airy, and it makes you angry, because how dare he sound so flippant after what he just expected you to do. “... I’m sorry things had to end this way, dear. I’m proud of you. You did well.”

“I know,” you say tightly in response before hanging up and putting the phone back down in your lap. 

Chuuya watches you carefully, but he doesn’t say anything, and you stare ahead at the back of the driver’s seat. It’s a twenty-five minute drive from the ports in Naka to Sakae—for better or for worse, it’s going to be a quiet one. For better because you think you might start crying if you have to speak, and for worse because now all you’re plagued with is your own thoughts and the image of Dazai’s face before you shot him.

You didn’t shoot him. Not really.

But you did, you don’t know if Chuuya was able to stop it. You don’t even know if Chuuya knows if he was able to stop it. There was a splatter of blood. You saw that, and there shouldn’t have been blood if this worked, so the worst case scenario looms over you heavily. But you won’t know until you get to the safe house—until you hear from Klaus. Your breath hitches over a sob you’re forced to swallow; your chest burns and tightens uncomfortable.

You had to do it, this was the only option. Anything else and there was no shot he wouldn’t have been killed. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but he would be killed. You wouldn’t be able to protect him from Mori otherwise—he would’ve put a hit out on him, and Dazai would have all of the most dangerous assassins in the underworld out for him trying to get the bounty. You can’t protect him from that. You needed to buy time. You needed to buy time so you could-

You don’t finish the thought. 

You don’t think you’ve come to terms with what has to be done if you want to protect Dazai. A part of you doesn’t even know if you’ll be able to follow through with it, but you’ve already set yourself down the path of no return and you’ve dragged Chuuya down it along with you. Either you follow through, or the three of you are going to be on the run for the rest of your lives.

Shit.

Your gaze tracks back down to your phone. Still nothing from Klaus—nothing from Akutagawa either. The silence is too loud, each second that passes has you aching with a pain that feels like knives dragging against your bones. You just need to know, you need to know that he’s okay, that you didn’t-

You rest your forehead against the window when nausea builds back up in your stomach. It’s cool, and a welcome reprieve from the heaviness weighing down on you, but the moment your eyes slide shut, you’re faced with Dazai again and no amount of deep breathing and grounding techniques can stop the way your heart rate sky-rockets, breath becoming quick and shallow.

You see him. You see him, and he’s looking up at you, dark eyes wide and adoring as he looks at you like you’re the only thing in the world that matters to him, and his lips part to say something but before he can, you see something thick and red trickling down his face over his lips, and suddenly something is weighing cold and heavy in your hand but you can’t bring yourself to look down at it, but you can’t drag your eyes from his face. Can’t hide yourself from the way his warm eyes are suddenly wide and glassy, void of all of the emotions that you’d just-

Your arm hurts—sharp and painful and so sudden that you’re dragged from the images haunting you. Your gaze cuts over to Chuuya, who’s giving you a concerned look. You realize he must’ve shifted over a bit, brushed his arm against yours to use his ability to jolt you out of your spiraling thoughts. When he realizes that you’re back in the present, he gives you a pointed look and then directs his gaze outside.

You’re almost there. How much time had passed?

Why hasn’t Klaus or Akutagawa reached out to you?

What is going on?

Albatross doesn’t stop in front of the safe house—there are too many cameras in the street and all of the Port Mafia’s cars are tracked. Instead, he takes a left on the next street because it’s one of the few without a red light camera and a blind spot on the corner. His gaze flickers up to the rearview mirror and he pointedly raises the volume of his shitty music a few decibels louder to cover the noise of the car doors opening and closing as you and Chuuya slip out when he stops at the red light.

You leave your phone in the car and you’re careful to avoid the camera near the bakery on the corner as you follow Chuuya around to the alley that leads to the back entrance of the safe house. It’s not a Port Mafia safe house—it was Itou’s. This was where he stayed in the few months during the Dragon’s Head Conflict where he was on his own, after he left Strain but before you recruited him to the Port Mafia. It was well hidden and well protected, you hadn’t been able to track him down here until he brought you here—he made sure that it was a blind spot in the Port Mafia’s ever-watchful eye over Yokohama, and you made sure to keep it that way once he was gone. 

It’s only once the steel door is shut behind you that you can finally speak, gaze focusing on Chuuya desperately as you wait for him to tell you if he was able to do it or if Dazai’s ability…

“Did you hear from Klaus or Akutagawa?” he asks quietly, and that’s enough of an answer.

He doesn’t know. 

You feel sick—your stomach lurches and you don’t know if you start to stumble toward the bathroom or the couch or straight to the floor, but it doesn’t matter because Chuuya is darting forward to grab you and guide you over to the couch.

“Chuuya, if I-” you start to say, your words are raspy and you can’t even bring yourself to finish them. “If I-”

“Don’t,” he says, wrapping an arm around you. “Don’t bother going there yet. Wait for Klaus and Akutagawa.”

“But-”

“Stop,” he insists. “All you’re going to do is torture yourself.”

Isn’t that what you deserve? You want to say to him, nails digging into the palm of your hand so deep that it draws blood. Chuuya catches what you’re doing and immediately moves to unfurl your hands. Everything you’ve done. You killed Dazai’s family. His siblings. His cousins. You ruined his life, and then after everything, it wasn’t enough. You ruined his life and then you took-

“Hey, stop,” Chuuya interrupts your thoughts, clearly realizing what path they’re going down. You don’t realize your breath is ragged again until he grabs your chin and twists your head to force you to look at him. “I know what you’re thinking, but we can’t do this right now, we need to plan. We don’t have time, and when Klaus and Akutagawa get here with him, we need to know what we’re doing. You need to snap out of it.”

You don’t respond to him—your lashes flutter and you see Dazai again, you see blood, you see empty eyes, you see the gun in your hand, and you feel something warm and wet trickling over your cheeks. Chuuya spits out curses to himself and wipes away the tears streaming down your face. He’s gentle now, the rough grip on your chin disappears and is replaced with his hand cradling the back of your head as he pulls you closer to him. He presses your ear to his chest, hoping that the steady thrum of his heart is enough to ground you.

“Where the fuck are they?” he spits out more to himself than to you. His breath hitches and you can hear the stammering of his heart, and you know that he’s nervous, but he’s trying to hide it for your sake. “I need you here. What we just did-fuck-”

You try to snap out of it—you do, but every time you blink you see him. You see what you did. You knew this would happen from the very beginning, you knew it, and everyone warned you, but you’re selfish. You’ve always been so selfish.

You don’t know how much time passes. Ten minutes. Twenty. Thirty. It all blurs, it all feels like eternity, but eventually, the door to the safe house slams open, and only a handful of people know about it.

Your gaze snaps up, and you don’t realize you’re holding your breath until Klaus steps into the room with a familiar figure slung over his shoulder like a sack of flour. Both of them are covered in various substances that you think you would rather not know what they are, but you can see the steady rise and fall of Dazai’s back. You rise to your feet abruptly and Chuuya lets out a relieved breath, shoulders slumping.

Klaus immediately points an accusing finger at you. “I had to hunt down a civilian, kill him, crawl through shit and trash with a dead body to swap it out for your boy, I had to carry him across half of the city, and I couldn’t even channel Mephisto because he nullifies him. You better not complain about any messes I make for the next six months,” Klaus demands, and then points wildly back toward a very clean Akutagawa, who casts an unimpressed look his way. “And he didn’t even help me. He stood there and watched.”

“I was ensuring that no one saw what we were doing,” Akutagawa replies primly. “Even more important than your job, considering if someone saw it would all be for naught. You should be thanking me.”

Klaus’s face goes red with anger as he whips around to face him and roars, “More important? Thank you?!”

You laugh. It’s so startling that all of the anger washes away from Klaus’s face and the goading expression on Akutagawa’s disappears. Or you think you laugh—you think you might be crying again too. Both boys look aghast by the sight of it, looking at each other as if waiting for the other to do something to make you stop.

Eventually, Klaus steps forward and unsurely tries to pass Dazai’s unconscious body over to you as if to try to make you feel better by shoving him in your arms. Chuuya slaps him hard over the back of the head causing him to yelp.

“Put him on the couch, what the fuck is wrong with you? Why are you passing him over to her like he’s a fucking stuffed animal?” Chuuya snaps, giving him a plainly judgemental look before resting his hand on your shoulder. 

Klaus looks disgruntled, but he does as Chuuya asks, laying Dazai down on the couch where you and Chuuya had just been sitting. You drop to your knees next to him, and the room is oddly silent as you look down at him. You don’t feel their gazes on you, so you assume they’re giving you privacy as best they can.

He looks… peaceful. You could almost imagine that you were coming home to him napping on your couch after he spent the whole night playing some stupid video game in your living room. You try to imagine that’s what this is, but the bloody indent in his forehead prevents you.

It almost broke through his skull.

He almost died.

You almost killed him.

You feel a bit sick as your fingers trace up to the wound on his forehead. It’s still bleeding, but his forehead is clean compared to the grime that covers the rest of his body. Klaus and Akutagawa must’ve had the brain to stop and clean the wound before it could get infected—that’s probably what took them so long.

You feel someone come to your side, glancing up to see Akutagawa hovering next to you with bandages in hand. He passes them over to you silently before quickly walking away. You let out a soft breath as you unwind the bandages, gently lifting his head so you can wrap them around his forehead. Immediately, they’re staining red—you grimace and look away.

The silence hanging over the room only lasts so long.

“What’s next?” Klaus asks quietly. “This won’t work for long. What’s the plan?”

Your gaze lowers as you rest your hand against Dazai’s cheek, memorizing his face as best as you can. The heaviness in your chest returns, and along with it, the damning reminder of your reality.

“I have to kill Mori.”

--

Dazai suddenly understands his dream.

“It’s the only option,” you say quietly when Dazai’s expression immediately twists at your words. Your eyes look so heavy and your expression is so crestfallen that it makes Dazai ache. His fingers twitch to reach out for you but you shift away, shaking your head. “It’s the only option, Osamu. It has to be done.”

“But-”

“He tried to have me kill you,” you snap, and he almost rolls his eyes because he doesn’t need reminding of that. He’s abundantly aware of the fact that he almost died at your hands because of Mori. He refrains if only barely. “Why do you care about what happens to him?”

“He’s your father,” Dazai says, watching as you go stiff. He knows he might’ve just made a mistake saying that, but he doesn’t even know if you fully understand the gravity of all of this or if you’re just running off heightened emotions right now. “I don’t care about him, he can go fuck off and die for all I care. I care about you-“

“He’s not my father,” you spit out, voice tight, “and maybe you shouldn’t care about me.”

Oh, here it comes, Dazai thinks dreadfully. That was the opening you needed to bring up the subject Dazai desperately wanted to avoid. He has made a fatal mistake. He should’ve just nodded along and agreed to your plan.

“You’re right he’s not your father,” Dazai immediately agrees to appease you and try to avoid the imminent conversation. “I don’t know what I was thinking. Hey, do you have food here? I’m so hungry all of a sudden, wow, do you hear my stomach-” 

You sigh, looking away. Your eyes are suddenly very tired and Dazai’s words falter on his tongue as his gaze settles on you. His fingers twitch to reach out for your hand but you draw them back into your lap. Dazai’s gaze drops at the blatant rejection, but as soon as you notice, you reach back out to intertwine your fingers with his. He feels placated, but only a little, because he still has a tight feeling in his chest that he can’t push away. A looming fear that something is going to go terribly wrong.

“Can we please talk about this?” you finally ask quietly, and even though Dazai does want to say no, he simply cannot bring himself to. 

So, instead, he nods, and braces himself for what he knows is bound to be a terrible conversation. He waits for you to say something—you look like you want to, but he thinks that maybe you’re struggling just as much as him at opening the conversation. 

This isn’t going to go well, he realizes again, swallowing thickly. 

“Come on,” you finally say, rising to your feet. You hold out your hand to him and Dazai stares at it for a moment, confused. “Let’s get you cleaned up, you smell disgusting.”

“I wonder why,” Dazai mutters, and he means for it to come out as a joke, but when the small smile on your lips falters, he realizes it probably came out much too bitter so he quickly grabs your hand instead, letting you help him to his feet. He tries to get you to smile again by giving you a soft one of his own, but now the expression on your face is heavy and conflicted. “Are you gonna take a bath with me?”

“You should probably rinse off before we get into the bath,” you say dryly, thumb running along the back of his hand before you let go of it. “Otherwise we’ll just be sitting in shit water.”

Dazai almost gags. “Don’t remind me what I’m covered in right now,” he pleads. “Where is the shower?”

The light returns to your eyes, a smile flickers to your lips, and Dazai considers it a win even if he is covered in shit and god knows what else. He glances back down to where he’d been laying and winces when he sees the stains. His eyes flicker back up to you and he cringes when he sees the displeased expression on your face.

“I’ll make Atsushi and Akutagawa clean it,” you say more to yourself than to him, shaking your head and motioning for him to follow. “Bonding exercise.”

Dazai raises his eyebrows, unsure if the couch is even salvageable, and almost lets a comment slip about it considering you were so quick to throw out his couch to replace it, but he refrains when a sad expression crosses your face when you think he’s not looking. He frowns, looking around a bit more scrutinizing now.

This place looks nothing like your apartment.

Your apartment is… plain. Minimalistic. The most you have decorating it is a handful of paintings on the wall and a couple of antiques displayed on dressers. Other than that, you have your furniture, your television, and that’s just about it. Dazai had joked once about it feeling like a hotel room, and promptly stole your credit card to buy things to decorate with—gaudy Christmas lights even though it’s not Christmas, a couple of fake pumpkins to line against your wall and a plastic skeleton to pin up near the window. He even bought an inflatable snowman to put in the middle of the room, but it hasn’t come yet. You rolled your eyes every time you came back from work to see some new, seasonally inappropriate decoration in your apartment, but he could tell the more things he added to your apartment, the happier you seemed to be. 

This place was actually decorated. Pictures and trinkets set up on the dressers, all of the furniture matched and the walls were a warm burgundy instead of the off-putting, psych ward white of your apartment. You said this was a safe house, but it seems more like a home than your actual one. 

“What is this place?” he asks again, because it’s something more than a safe-house, he just doesn’t know what.

“I told you,” you frown. “A safe house.”

Dazai’s lips curl down in response but he doesn’t press, gaze flickering over to one of the side tables against the wall, trying to figure out who exactly is in the pictures on it, but as he strains his eyes to focus on it, pain ricochets through his head and he has to abandon the mission. Disappointed, he follows you into the back bedroom and realizes he’ll just have to figure it out later.

He almost stops in his tracks in the doorway when he sees that the bedroom is just as homely as the rest of the safe house. It’s weird—the same burgundy walls, dark mahogany furniture, there’s what looks to be a handmade quilt draped over the foot of the bed. It’s just so unlike you that it almost has Dazai reeling.

You give him an odd look when you see the twisted expression on his face, but motion toward another door. “The bathroom is in there—go rinse off and run the bath, I’ll be in there in a minute, I’m going to grab a change of clothes for you.”

“Mkay,” Dazai agrees, a jump in his step as he rushes over to the bathroom. 

He only pauses for a second to take in his surroundings when he gets in there—he’s not as surprised now by the style. Less modern, more rustic, just like the rest of the house; it’s more like something he’d expect to see in one of those American holiday movies. He leans over the tub to run the hot water before pulling off his clothes. He squints as he starts to unwind his bandages, looking into the shower and realizing that the only soap in there is an unopened bar soap, and a men’s shampoo and conditioner set. 

A bit suspicious now, he glances at the door leading to the bedroom before kneeling down in front of the cabinets beneath the sink. With one hand, he unwinds the bandages around his legs, and with the other, he reaches out to open the cabinet so he can snoop. Just as he expected: men’s deodorant, a spare baking soda and peroxide toothpaste that he knows you hate, and a handful of different colognes. There’s one bag off to the side and Dazai reaches for it, peeking in and finding your typical bath soaps and hair care.

Whose place is this? He wonders, pausing for half a second before taking out your soaps and bringing them into the shower with him. It’s not Chuuya’s—Dazai knows that because he hasn’t seen a single tacky hat yet, but then whose?

He’s quick to clean himself off, eager to be with you and still a bit anxious that you might disappear when he’s not looking. The water runs brown as it rinses over him, but it feels nice—Dazai realizes that this is his first shower since he got kidnapped by the Guild, and a part of him wants to bask in it. He wants to wash off all of the unfamiliar touches and the dirt and the blood, but more than that, he wants to surround himself with you instead. Which means he has to hurry out of here and drag you into the tub with him. 

He thinks maybe he should be biding his time. He has a lot to think about before he actually talks to you—he’s hardly even had a chance to process everything that happened—but still, he finds himself rushing to scrub himself. It couldn’t have been more than ten, fifteen minutes before he’s stumbling out of the shower and grabbing a towel to wrap around his waist. He almost expects you to be waiting in the bathroom for him, but you’re not, so he frowns and creaks the door back open to look for you.

Your name is on his lips as he steps back into the bedroom, but he falters when he sees you standing in the same place he left you: right outside a closet, except now the door is open and there’s a sweatshirt in your hands. The expression on your face is destroyed, and Dazai isn’t exactly sure what to say, luckily, he doesn’t need to because you hear the door open and turn toward him.

Whatever you’re about to say dies on your lips as your eyes trail over his body.

Another fatal mistake.

Dazai instantly realizes that he has never taken off his bandages in front of you before—that night at the beach house, he thought you were going to ask him to take them off, but you didn’t. He was glad for it, because he wasn’t sure if he was ready, and after that… Well, everything went downhill after that.

Dazai suddenly wants to flee. He becomes acutely aware of all of the scars on his body plainly in view. The warm, dim lighting becomes spotlights shining down on him, highlighting all of the flaws that he’s feared your reaction to. He waits for your face to twist—or, he knows you, you probably wouldn’t have such a visible reaction, so he focuses on your eyes instead.

But they only curve up along with your lips, a fondness in them that he doesn’t expect. You place the clothes down on the bed and approach him, his breath catches when your hands rest on his hips right above the towel. The skin-on-skin makes his chest ache—he’s missed you so much, he hadn’t even realized how hard it had been to breathe without you until he was back with you again.

“I’ve missed you so much,” he breathes out loud, lashes fluttering when your thumbs circle over his hip bones, right over a jagged scar that cuts across his lower abdomen—the product of an unfortunate encounter in Suribachi. 

“I missed you too,” you say softly. Your eyes trace over his face like you’re trying to memorize each little detail—usually he feels uncomfortable when under a scrutinizing gaze, he never wants someone to look too closely at him in fear of what they might find, but he feels warm beneath yours. “I’m sorry.”

He’s not sure exactly what you’re apologizing for; it could be anything from almost killing him to letting him into your life at all. He’s not yet ready for this conversation to start, he hasn’t even gathered his thoughts yet, so instead he glances pointedly back toward the bathroom. You let out a soft breath—he can’t tell if it’s irritation or you’re just tired, it might be both, but you do motion for him to go in and he can hear you following him.

The water is still steaming as he lets the towel drop to the ground and sinks into it. His muscles instantly relax, eyes sliding shut as he rests against the back of the tub, letting out a soft sigh. For a moment, he can almost forget everything that’s happened, his head falls to the side to focus on you as you undress, folding your clothes and placing them on the side table. He blinks when you pull off your dress shirt, gaze zeroing in on a scar marring your upper back. It’s small, circular—a bullet wound, maybe? It doesn’t go through to your chest though, he would’ve noticed that. 

“How did you get that?” he asks curiously, belatedly realizing he probably has no right to ask about scars considering his body is riddled with them and he’d probably evade most attempts at your prying if you asked. 

“Hm?” you ask quietly, looking over your shoulder at him as you finish undressing.

The words falter on Dazai’s lips as his gaze roves over your body. You’re beautiful, he thinks again, a bit more dreamily this time. You’re beautiful, and he’s missed you so much, and he just wants all of this to be over so he can go back to lounging in your apartment and spending your money all day. It’s only when you raise your eyebrows that he clears his throat and nods his chin to your back.

“The scar on your back,” he explains. “How did you get it?”

“Oh,” you realize, making your way over to the tub and tapping his shoulder, motioning for him to shift forward. You slip into the water behind him, circling your arms around his waist and Dazai’s chest feels warm and full as he rests back against you, eyes sliding shut. “An assassination attempt when I was eighteen. I was… reckless, saw it coming and… Well, luckily, the Flags had been in the area. Iceman figured out what was happening and they got there quick enough to stabilize me and get me to Mori.”

Dazai’s throat swells at the implication of what you’d said, trying to distract himself with the feeling of your fingers tracing across his abdomen. He notes softly, “You’re never reckless.”

Your fingers pause in the absent patterns you’re tracing on him, and Dazai wonders if it’s a sore topic, about to retract his words. Before he can, you let out a soft breath and drop your forehead down on his shoulder, arms tightening around him.

“This was Itou’s house. All of the stuff in here, it’s his family’s—stuff he was able to salvage after they were killed. He tried to keep the house like how his mother used to keep it as a way to memorialize her,” you say quietly. Dazai’s eyes widen as he recognizes the name of your old partner. “We were enemies when we first met, y’know? It was during the big conflict six years ago. He was part of one of the foreign organizations. I ended up recruiting him, but he spent a few months on his own here. He was careful to keep it a blind spot to the Port Mafia even after he joined up, I always thought he was paranoid about it, but he was quite insistent that there was no need for people to know about it.”

“Makes sense,” Dazai says dryly. “I wouldn’t want Mori knowing where I’m living either.”

It’s an off-handed quip, but you still stiffen and again, Dazai fumbles to say something else because he clearly upset you. He starts to add, “I-”

“I killed him,” you finally say, voice weak and airy. Your arms loosen around him, but his hands drop to cover yours, holding them in place. “I killed him, Osamu.”

“I thought you said he died on a mission,” Dazai murmurs, hand tightening around yours when he feels the way your fingers are trembling. 

“I… Itou was born into this life. Was born into a Yakuza-family based in Tokyo, trained since he was old enough to walk how to use his ability… how to kill. The Yakuza syndicate his family was the head of was wiped out by the Sun and Steel when he was eight… nine, maybe. His mother was able to get him and bring him back to Australia—that’s where she was from. It’s how he ended up with Strain,” you explain, and the water suddenly feels a bit cold—what happened to Itou’s family sounds a lot like what happened to Dazai’s. From the way you pause, you wonder if you realize the same thing. You quickly change the subject, “He tried getting me out of the Mafia.”

“What?” Dazai asks, surprised. He shifts to physically look at you, catching the wistful expression on your face. “You wanted to leave the Mafia.”

The wistful expression shifts into something much more conflicted. 

“I didn’t-” you start to say before cutting yourself off. “I don’t know. I think maybe a part of me might’ve wanted to. I was… curious. He was sneaky—he was always such a sneaky bastard. He tried to ease me into it, show me what a different life was like. Called them training exercises, wanted me to blend in with kids my age.”

He remembers you telling him this at the beach house, but he listens anyway because now you do sound wistful. His eyes slide shut as you hold him tightly, pressing your lips to his shoulder blade before resting your chin on top of it. 

“His gift to me for my eighteenth birthday was an acceptance letter to university. He pulled some strings. It was for YNU, actually, funny enough,” you say softly. Dazai’s eyes widen as he turns to look at you again; there’s a small, sad smile on your lips and when he turns, you take the chance to steal a kiss from him. “Imagine, we could’ve been first years together.”

Dazai doesn’t dare to respond. His hand tightens around yours—if it’s painful, you don’t let it show. Odasaku dragged him to orientation, and he imagines meeting you there. You’re good at socializing—charming—Dazai can be too when he wants, but he definitely did not want to during orientation. He mostly sulked away and waited for it to be over so he could go back home. He imagines that you’d be in the same group with him, and although he’d probably ignore you the first few times you tried to talk to him, he’d eventually give in. Dazai is weak to pretty women, especially when that pretty woman is you.

Or maybe, you’d meet during a shared class. You would probably be a poli-sci major, but he’s taken classes in the field for requirements. He hated them, thought they were boring, but he probably would’ve enjoyed it much more if he had you to admire all two hours of the class. And maybe-

“I was curious,” you repeat, voice tighter. There’s more of an edge to it now, and Dazai realizes that this story is about to take a turn. “I… I wanted to try it. I told Mori.”

Dazai’s eyes widen and he sits up straight. The water sloshes around him as he physically turns around to face you. He asks, but can’t finish, “Did he…”

“He said it was a great idea,” you say tightly. “He encouraged it. I accepted the spot, and a week before orientation, Itou died on a mission that we got bad intel for. My whole team, they died to make sure I got out alive. Mori denied having any involvement, said he wouldn’t risk an ability user as powerful as Itou, but I know. I know he had a hand in it. I’ve always known it. The government had been after Itou for years—they said he was a national security threat. A couple of weeks later, we suddenly have the skilled business permit that Mori’s been trying to get for months. It was a trade-off. I know it. Two birds, one stone. The skilled business permit and my full focus back on the Mafia for Itou’s life.”

Dazai’s lips part to say something—anything—but he can’t. Your eyes are misty, and the foreboding feeling that’s been haunting him since he woke up intensifies. You shake your head, blinking back tears. 

“I never should’ve brought you into this world, Osamu.”

Dazai needs to think now. He needs to figure out how exactly he’s going to go about this, whether he should be soft and demure, appealing to your heart, or if he should be more forceful, triggering your guilt. 

He goes with the latter.

“Well it’s too late for that,” Dazai says, keeping his voice steady until he knows how you’re going to react to it. When you instantly shake your head again, his voice hardens. “It’s too late, I’m already in it. You can’t just get rid of me. Take accountability.”

“You don’t think I have?” you question dryly, looking away from him. But he needs you to look at him for this to be effective, so he reaches out to grab your hand, dragging your attention back toward him. “I killed your family, Osamu.”

“She was a girl my age—the previous boss’s granddaughter—she was asleep, had a bear tucked in her arms and a nightlight on the right side of her bed. I slit her throat, then both of her older brothers. They were kids.”

Her name was Akane. Bunji and Touma were her brothers. 

They were Dazai’s brothers. Dazai’s sister. The stuffed bear was called Coco, and Akane would clutch it and cry whenever Dazai started talking about things like death. She was scared of dying; more than that, scared of the people she loved dying. She cried for weeks when their grandmother passed, and got angry at Dazai when he didn’t even cry at the funeral. Dazai used to share a bedroom with her and Touma, but he hated her nightlight—it was purple and it was always right in Dazai’s eyes when he laid down. He convinced his mother to force Bunji to swap rooms with him, so Dazai had his own room on the second floor of his grandfather’s estate.

“You were a kid too,” Dazai rasps out the same thing he said at the beach house, but it comes out a bit weaker this time knowing exactly who the people you killed were. “You were fourteen. You-”

“I played a role in tracking your mother down,” you continue. Dazai’s breath catches as his fingers loosen around yours. “It was my punishment for not making sure all of the grandchildren were… eliminated. I was the one that was tracking her down, and I was the one that was going to interrogate her for your whereabouts when I found her.”

“Stop,” Dazai says quietly, voice wavering.

“No,” you reply firmly. “No. You need to understand this-”

“I do,” Dazai insists, voice cracking. “I do understand-”

“You don’t, Dazai,” you raise your voice and Dazai cringes back. You sigh and soften your voice, but the damage has been done, Dazai’s fight or flight instincts have been triggered. This conversation is not going to end in his favor, so he needs to run before he gets hurt, but he can’t because you have him stuck in the bath with you. You reach out again to take his hands in yours, fingers absently running along the scars on his wrists. “You don’t, otherwise you wouldn’t have been so quick to join me in here. You haven’t even had time to process it.”

“Yes, I have,” Dazai whispers weakly. “I have.”

“I ruined your life, Osamu,” you say quietly. “Everything bad that’s ever happened to you started with me.”

“That’s not true,” Dazai argues, nails biting into your skin as he clings to you. “My life sucked before everything really went to shit. The first time I tried to kill myself, I was eleven. You saved my life. I was going to kill myself that night we met at the bar. You saved me.”

“Osamu-”

“You’re not listening to me,” Dazai interrupts, voice taking a more manic edge as he shakes his head. He can talk himself out of any situation—why is he failing now when it matters most? “You’re not listening. You saved me. I love you.”

“I love you too,” you breathe out, but the words don’t settle his nerves because they’re heavy and full of sorrow, and the tears that had been pooling in your eyes finally start to spill over.

“Then why does this still feel like a goodbye?” he begs, breath shallow as he searches your face for an answer.

You don’t respond, but you don’t need to. He finds his answer in your eyes. He always does. You look at him again with that desperate, longing expression, like you’re trying to memorize the details of his face even though you know it’s futile. 

This is a goodbye.

--

Dazai hasn’t spoken to you once since your conversation in the bath.

Chuuya, your subordinates, and the Flags are back now, and Dazai is sulking in the bedroom watching one of his dumb reality shows. You can hardly focus on the conversation at hand because of it, and you know the others are starting to get irritated by your distraction considering the stakes at play right now. If one thing goes wrong, all of your lives would be forfeit. They’re risking everything by helping you right now, and you can't even bother to give them your full attention.

“Out,” Piano Man suddenly says. Your gaze snaps toward him, as does all of the others’ in the room. When nobody immediately moves, he raises his eyebrows and continues dryly, “Are you all hard of hearing? I said get out.”

“Where are we supposed to go?” Albatross demands. “Her boy’s in the bedroom. This place is small-”

“Go crowd in the closet for all I care. Get out,” Piano Man says dismissively. Still, no one moves until his gaze sharpens and they realize he’s being entirely serious. You shift to leave with them until his eyes land on you. “Not you.”

You feel like a child about to be scolded, which is ridiculous because you’re a mafioso, and though Piano Man is technically the same rank as you, he’s not really. He can’t scold you, but you shift awkwardly on your feet and share a concerned look with Chuuya anyway as they all wander out of the safe house and into the small hallway outside.

Once the two of you are alone, you finally glance back at Piano Man, who’s watching you carefully. After a few moments he says, “I take it you told him the plan?”

“I did,” you reply quietly.

“He didn’t take it well?” Piano Man questions.

“You know the answer to that,” you say a bit more dryly before shaking your head. “Would you have taken it well?”

“Of course not, I’d be livid,” Piano Man says immediately, making you cringe. “Does this mean we’re changing the plan?” 

“No,” you tell him. “We can’t. This is the only option.”

“I know,” Piano Man says with a thin smile. “So stop sulking and get your head in the game so we don’t all die trying to perform a coup.”

You’re startled by the sudden sharpness in his voice, but you suppose you shouldn’t be. Piano Man has always been capricious, going from his whimsical moods to more cold and ruthless ones within a matter of seconds. You can hardly meet his eyes now, looking down at the ground to avoid them.

“Why are you helping me?” you ask after a few moments.

You don’t have to look at Piano Man to see the way he raises his eyebrows judgmentally. “Excuse me?” 

“I was going to kill you earlier. I held a gun to your head. Why are you helping me?” you press, the words weighing heavily on you as you remember the way he met your eyes when you lifted the muzzle of your gun to his temple.

Piano Man has the audacity to look amused. “When I first recruited Lippmann, I tried to drown him in the harbor because I got paranoid he sold me out to the feds after a mission went wrong. It happens—the next time it does, I’m going to be pulling my own gun out though. So, don’t let it happen again, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you agree quietly. “I’m sorry.”

You don’t apologize often, even when you know you’re entirely in the wrong. Mori has taught you only to apologize when it serves you, otherwise you should never make an admission of guilt or liability. So it’s not surprising when Piano Man’s eyebrows shoot upward, but his expression softens after a moment. He reaches out to pat your head.

“I know this isn’t easy,” he murmurs, “but we need you at the top of your game if this is going to work.”

“I know,” you reply. “... I know.”

“Good,” he says, patting the top of your head yet again before sighing. “Let me go get them and we’ll get back to planning, okay?”

“Mkay.”

You lean back against the wall as you look down at the table Lippmann set up for planning. The Flags, your subordinates, Kajii Motojiro—they’re non-factors in the planned coup. The Flags will support it, your subordinates will support you, and all Kajii cares about is his experiments. Paul Verlaine is not quite as secure, but Chuuya is confident that he’ll support whatever Chuuya goes along with.

The issue lies in Kouyou and the Black Lizards.

You already feel a headache come on just at the thought, lifting your hands to your head and rubbing your eyes as you knock the back of your head against the wall and let out a heavy sigh. Kouyou and Hirotsu won’t support the coup, you know it. They’re both loyal to Mori—both victims of the previous boss who found refuge in Mori when he took over. They’ll fight for him, and you know better than anyone that during a forceful transition of power, all dissidents must be removed, especially ones that hold significant power and influence.

But it’s Kouyou and Hirotsu. Kouyou, who was the one to teach you how to do your makeup properly, who bought you your first kimono to match her own. Hirotsu, who was always quick to execute anyone that openly disrespected you, who took you to a movie on your fifteenth birthday when Mori was busy dealing with the power transition so you didn’t spend it alone. The thought makes you sick—they were family, and maybe Hirotsu could be convinced. He’s loyal to Mori, yes, but more than that, he’s loyal to the Port Mafia. If you can manufacture a legitimate reason for the coup…

You sigh as you glance down the hall where Dazai is hiding in the bedroom, startled when your gaze catches his familiar brown. He’s seemingly just as surprised that you caught him spying, immediately slamming the bedroom door shut to retreat back into the safety of the room. Your lips curl up into a small smile, which is quickly washed away when your subordinates, the Flags and Chuuya all file back into the room.

“I’ll talk to Ane-san,” Chuuya finally says, reigniting the conversation. “I’ll make her see reason.”

“There’s no time for talking, Chuuya,” Piano Man tells him. “This all has to be done within hours. If we let word get out about what we’re doing… The coup is risky, and a civil war would be the end of this city.”

Frustration flashes across Chuuya’s face. “I’m not budging on this,” he says, voice tight with thinly restrained anger. “Either you give me the chance to talk to her, or I’ll withdraw my support.”

“Chuuya,” you sigh tiredly, wanting nothing more than to just sit down.

“No,” Chuuya interrupts you. “I won’t actively stand against you, but I won’t stand with you if you don’t give me the chance to talk to her.”

“Fine,” you finally say even though you know it’s a mistake. It’s asking for trouble. Piano Man gives you a sharp, disapproving look, but you shake your head. “It’s fine. She won’t be keeping her executive position.”

Chuuya’s face twists. “But-”

“No.” This time you interrupt him, holding up your hand. “I’m not budging on this. If you want the chance to talk to her and convince her this is the best route, I’ll give you it, but you need to meet me halfway. She’s not retaining her executive position.”

Chuuya looks unhappy, but after a few moments, he nods. “Fine.”

“I can’t risk it, Chuuya,” you tell him quietly. “I need people who I trust in the inner circle. I can’t trust her after what just happened.”

“I get it,” Chuuya says. “I just don’t like it.”

“That leaves three executive seats we need to fill.” Piano Man lets out a heavy sigh as he sits on the edge of the table, tilting his head back in exhaustion. “Your’s, Ace’s, and Kouyou-san’s. Do you even have three more people who you trust?”

Klaus and Akutagawa, you think to yourself, but neither of them are executive material. Your gaze drifts over to Albatross, Iceman, and Doc, each of them pointedly looks away, none of them want the open seats. Lippmann can’t take it, not with what you have planned for him. So, who else-

“Verlaine?” Chuuya offers. “He’s got a ton of experience with the European organizations—we’ll probably need it considering Dostoevsky’s involvement with the Guild, and this Book that’s apparently somewhere in the city. If it gets out to the public, we’ll have organizations swarming just like during the Dragon’s Head.”

You don’t like the idea of Verlaine being an executive, and you don’t think Piano Man does either considering his unfortunate first meeting with the man, but Chuuya raises good points. You have your own experience with the European underworld, but it’s nothing like what Verlaine has.

“Okay,” you agree, “and the other two?”

The Black Lizards are its own command unit that answers directly to the Boss. They don’t have a seat at the table because it’s not their field. Their field is war, not politics… but what other options are there? The people you trust are far and few in-between, you can probably count them on one hand.

“What about Tolstoy?” a familiar voice asks quietly from down the hallway. You look up immediately, gaze focusing on where Dazai is standing in the door of the bedroom, hands shoved in the pockets of his sweatshirt, shoulders hunched. He doesn’t like the attention of everyone on him, so he keeps his eyes trained fully on you. “Mishima?”

“They’re not part of the Port Mafia,” Chuuya dismisses, “they don’t get seats.”

“But what if they were?” Dazai presses, shuffling forward. He hardly spares Chuuya a glance before looking at you again. “The transition of power is going to be shaky, you need to strengthen your position in other ways, otherwise…”

“You think we should merge with the Three Deaths and the Sun and Steel,” Piano Man realizes, sitting up straighter as he considers Dazai’s proposition. “Doesn’t that risk destabilizing us even more though?”

He looks at you for an answer, but your gaze is focused on Dazai. He’s not even gone yet, but you already miss him desperately; all you want is to be with him, but it’s just not possible. You can’t have him and run the Port Mafia at the same time; he will die because of his affiliation with you, just like he almost did when the Guild captured him. It wouldn’t matter how safe you tried to keep him, one mistake and he would die. And that will lead to every decision you make being centered around him, not what’s best for the Port Mafia and that will lead to its inevitable ruin. 

“No, Osamu’s right,” you say, and Dazai preens at the praise, but then quickly deflates again. You want to reach out for him, but you refrain. “Not a merger. An acquisition. The Three Deaths and the Sun and Steel are already pretty much extensions of the Port Mafia, we would only be formalizing it. I trust Tolstoy and Mishima—I pretty much built the Three Deaths into what it is today myself. We’d give the Port Mafia an official foothold in Russia, more sway over everything that happens in Tokyo. It’s a good plan. Great one, even.”

“Will they even agree to it?” Chuuya asks doubtfully. “Go from being fully autonomous to answering to us.”

“They pretty much already do just answer to us,” Albatross mutters.

“They’ll agree to it,” you tell him quietly. “I’ll make sure of it.”

Tolstoy won’t be hard to convince. He, Chekhov and Gorky are all good friends of yours, you helped them build the Three Deaths, you helped them win territory battles against the Pale Flame and the Red Chamber. All it would take a few words of convincing for them to agree to it. Mishima might be more difficult, but all you have to do is convince his daughters, and they hang off your every word.

There might be some dissent from the Sun and Steel executives, but even then, you think it would be minimal at worst. It’s a good plan. Having Tolstoy and Mishima sitting at the executive table would lend you some much needed support during the transition, and with the Port Mafia subsuming the Three Deaths and the Sun and Steel, it would provide a major deterrence against any foreign movements from Cao Xueqin or Yi Sang.

“What about Hirotsu and the Black Lizards?” Akutagawa asks, shifting awkwardly when all eyes turn to him. He doesn’t meet anyone’s eyes, and you know it’s because he actually cares about what your answer might be. Akutagawa likes to pretend that he doesn’t care about anyone, but you know he has a soft spot for the unit that took Gin in so easily.

“We can’t afford to lose the Black Lizards,” Iceman notes as he lights another cigarette. “Especially if we’re bringing in other organizations. We don't want our own people to feel like they’re being lost in the mix, y’know?”

“I’ll handle Hirotsu,” you finally say. “It’ll be fine. I just need to figure out how to frame this. Needs to be framed in a way that makes him feel like this was the best, and only, course of action for the Mafia. He’s loyal to Mori only to the extent that he’s good for the Port Mafia. I’ll figure it out. Leave that to me.”

“Ace’s subordinates?” Albatross prompts. “They been handled? We can’t have them knowing about him. Can’t have anyone knowing about him.”

“Dead,” Akutagawa says. “I killed them.”

“Security cameras? CCTV? Any record of this kid being affiliated with us?” 

“Wiped,” Klaus answers flippantly. “We’ve gone through it every day since they met. Weren’t allowed to sleep ‘til made sure everything from the day was wiped. There’s no physical record of him ever being around us.”

“Okay, so we get this settled, and then we wait on Repin for the rest of us, right?” Albatross asks. Dazai cringes at the mention of Repin, and you look away from him, unable to watch the pain that crosses his face.

“Yeah,” you say quietly. “It all needs to happen within no more than a couple days otherwise we risk the wrong people finding out so…”

“So we should get started,” Chuuya sighs, pushing himself off the wall. He squeezes your wrist as he passes by you, walking in the direction of the door. “We’ll give you guys some time. I’ll let you know how things go with Ane-san.”

You nod, eyes following him as he leaves. The others follow, filing out of the room until it’s only you and Dazai left again. You turn to look at him, so many words on your lips but incapable of pushing a single one out. Instead, you reach out to cup his face between your hands, running your thumbs across his cheekbones. His lashes flutter shut as he leans into your touch.

“It doesn’t have to be like this,” he whispers, brown eyes heavy and glassy as he looks down at you. “We can figure something else out. I know we can. Just give me some time, I just need a little time, I’ll figure something out.”

“We don’t have time,” you say, voice cracking over the words. “I love you, Osamu.”

Dazai pulls away, shaking his head. He wipes quickly at his eyes before looking at you again. You expect what he says, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.

“I won’t forgive you. Not for this. Not ever. I can’t.”

“I know.”

--

SIX WEEKS LATER

“I must say, I wasn’t expecting this invitation,” a familiar voice hums as the door to your box opens. You don’t turn to look at him, keeping your gaze trained down on the performance taking place below. “Not from you, and not after everything that’s happened.”

“No?” you ask absently. “It’s unlike you to not expect something, Dostoevsky. Less like you to admit it.”

“Fyodor,” he corrects as he comes to stand next to you. He’s close enough to you that you can feel his body brushing yours. You finally turn your head to look at him—his lips are curved up into a deceptively soft smile, violet eyes glittering with a type of mischief that you know is dangerous. “We are well enough acquainted to be on a first name basis, no?” 

“Dostoevsky,” you repeat pointedly, looking back down at the show as the first act reaches its climax. Of all of the shows you’ve seen, Tosca is still your favorite. This rendition here at the New National Theatre isn’t quite as good as the one at La Scala, but you’re enjoying it well enough.

Dostoevsky lets out a huff of laughter, you don’t turn to look at him when you feel him reach out to touch you. His fingers trace along the maroon scarf hanging loosely over your shoulders. You barely withhold a shiver when you feel his knuckles skim your neck—rumor has it, skin-on-skin contact alone with Dostoevsky is enough to kill. You don’t die, but it’s enough to beckon your attention back to him.

“Red is your color,” he murmurs, looking down at you through his lashes. “You look beautiful.”

“It isn’t yours,” you reply quickly, glancing down at the red tie tied neatly around his neck. “Neither is flattery.”

Dostoevsky does laugh this time—it’s soft and short, pretty like a bell. Unbefitting of him, just like the color red and false flattery. 

“It isn’t?” he asks, keeping his voice deceptively playful. “I wore it for you. Since you invited me, I thought it appropriate that we match. I heard of your success in Yokohama. I should congratulate you on your new promotion. Or perhaps extend my condolences for the death of your father? Are condolences still proper when you were the one to drive the knife into his back?”

It’s a dig, an attempt to get under your skin and throw you off before getting into the meat of the conversation. You can feel his eyes on you, the soft playfulness gone and replaced by a sharpness that has you on edge.

“You said it yourself. One life or thousands.”

“It was a bullet to the head,” you correct idly—the words taste like poison on your tongue, but you’re careful to not let it show on your face. “Condolences are unnecessary. He was not my father.”

“It’s okay, dear, this was how it was always meant to be.”

“Hm,” Dostoevsky hums, amused. “I was quite pleased when I found out about the coup. I wasn’t expecting it.”

He wants to add something else but he decides against it. He’s very calculating with his words, he always has been, but he is especially now. You know that each word he speaks is chosen for a specific purpose, and it’s hard, even for you, to break down each one as he speaks it to understand why he says it so you can choose your own words carefully in return. Fyodor Dostoevsky is the only man capable of consistently beating you in exchanges of words, and that is concerning. 

It’s why you invited him here—you need an idea of what he’s planning while you solidify your newfound position.

“It seems you struggle to expect many things I do,” you note. “I should add it to my resume. I doubt many people are capable of repeatedly surprising Fyodor Dostoevsky.”

“It is true,” he agrees with an airy laugh. “You are a… difficult opponent. I will admit it.”

 “Is that so?”

Dostoevsky makes a soft noise of agreement, lashes fluttering as he glances over at you once before he looks back down at the show taking place down on the stage. 

“You are not guided strictly by logic,” he muses. “It's there, of course, you are very intelligent but it’s laced with so many emotions. It is difficult for me to determine your course of action because I can never predict when you will lead with emotion, and when with logic. And even then, there are grades to it. I could account for dozens of plans of action and miss the one you take because you are just a bit less emotional than I anticipated… I did not predict that you would go for Zelda Fitzgerald, it was quite bold—there was a high risk for failure. You make things… much more interesting. I enjoy it.”

“You would find something like that enjoyable,” you say sarcastically, taking a sip of your champagne. “There is something seriously wrong with you, Dostoevsky.”

“Fyodor,” he corrects again with a light smile. 

“Dostoevsky.”

“Heh,” he laughs quietly. “I will… wait for things to settle before making another move here in Yokohama. I’m curious to see how all of the chips fall on their own. You’re in for quite the storm with that bill that just passed through the Diet, aren’t you?”

You don’t respond. You got the answer you needed, so there’s no reason for you to keep entertaining his snide comments; you’ll just watch the show in peace. You’ll have the bit of time you need to get things settled before Dostoevsky makes his next play. Though the man is a compulsive liar and you have no reason to trust him, Dostoevsky has never lied so blatantly to your face, so you’ll take him at his word until you have reason to believe otherwise. 

Dostoevsky takes your silence as an opportunity to continue talking, naturally.

“I did have a question for though,” he says, a bit too thrilled by the prospect of your answer. You don’t like the way his eyes are lit up, and you especially don’t like the smile on his lips. “Entertain me?”

You raise your eyebrows pointedly, waiting for him to ask it. 

“I heard rumors that the reason behind your sudden decision to overthrow your father was more… intimate than most believe,” Dostoevsky murmurs, leaning like he’s sharing in some schoolgirl gossip with an old friend. Your brows furrow as you process his words. “You must tell me what boy has managed to steal your heart. He must be something special. Not even I was capable of that, I’m almost jealous.”

You look at him now, gaze sharp but confused as your eyes trail over him before focusing back on his face. He seems surprised by your reaction, tilting his head to the side and studying you carefully.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

--

to be continued in ... the land is inhospitable (but are we?) [est. release: early feb]

--

WOWWWWWW GUYS WE FUCKING FINISHED CIVZAI .... or well, ;) civzai1. some notes:

i promised a happy ending, i know ... but i promised it for civzai in general, and they DO have a happy ending ... just not yet. pls dont bully me ill cry i'm so proud of this. i didn't lie.

i always intended on there being two parts to this series because i feel like time apart is essential in the pmreader universe. when dazai defected in canon universe, and now with her taking over as boss and wiping her memories of him. the first part was always gonna be the guild arc, the second arc is gonna be my rendition of the hunting dogs and the decay of the angel

this is the ONLY universe where pmreader becomes port mafia boss ;) i actually had it noted that there was only one universe on the background page in wykyk once i started writing wasteland, baby but no one caught it ;) i was wondering if anyone would put two and two together

i actually went back and retconned chapter 1 to have them talking about the divine comedy instead of petrarch because of the first scene in this chapter. i thought it would be neat coming full circle with the themes of betrayal and death, + the hozier song this chapter is based on is about the 9th circle in the divine comedy. so everything just tied together too neatly for me to not add it.

;) just remember now with repin involved, reader's narration is now entirely unreliable. we don't know what's truth and manufactured by repin.

i was actually really tempted to base civzai2 off of a mother mother album just because hayloft II fits what's going to be the first half of it SO fucking well, but i had to go with mitski because the whole album literally captures the vibes of the second series perfectly

[nuemanfilms]

Familiar — S.W

— ‘It felt right, it felt familiar. Almost like you’d done this before — in another lifetime.’

Summary struggling to open the vending machine, Sam Wesson decides to help you. When he directs you to the elevator, you can’t help but notice how everything felt so familiar.

This writing contains smut, pet names, semi-public sex, on a desk, piv, unprotected sex but fem!reader is on birth control, praise, high risk of getting caught, not a specified dynamic (Submissive & Dominant), creampie, Sam is honestly a sweetheart, consent consent consent heavily used, size difference, Sam’s described as tall and bigger than reader but no height described for reader, sweet talk, there’s an actual plot + more.

notes this was made at 1am and finished at 2am, i did proofread to my best ability as it is currently 2 in the morning still. I don’t see a lot of Sam Wesson on here… he’s a little cutie so I had to <3

p.s new theme again… anyways, 1.6k WC. Enjoy!

—

Sam saw you over at the vending machine, trying to get it to work. The machine practically caused issues for everyone, it was old, and it was overused. So getting jammed wasn’t a rare occurrence. Despite him being a tech guy, Sam still knew how to crack the machine. So he finally got up and went over to help you.

“I- um, I’ll help you with it… if that’s okay?” He asked, his orbs met your own. The awkward smile that graced his lips was contagious, one forming on your own as well.

“You don’t have to… Sam.” You looked down at the tag on his yellow shirt. He was a little confused about how you knew his name before he remembered the obvious tag that clung to the fabric.

“No, no- It’s okay, I can. It’s no problem.” You smiled, moving your hands away from the handle of the machine so the man could look at it.

He was sweet, you didn’t even know him, but he clearly was intelligent. Fixing the damned thing in less than two minutes, his brows furrowed in concentration. You didn’t get a good look at his face, but when you did, he was probably the most attractive guy in this entire building.

His voice interrupted your thoughts.

“It should work now,” He spoke. There was a slight pink tinge to his cheeks when your gaze met his which didn’t go unnoticed by you. Your own cheeks growing heated as well.

“Thank you- so much… You’re a lifesaver.” The smile on his lips never left, especially at your praise. It wasn’t exactly everyday Sam received that, neither a compliment. He caught himself staring before stuttering out a nervous reply. You were beautiful.

“Thank you, I appreciate that.” He didn’t want you to leave yet for some reason, so he added on, “Are you planning on working here…? Is this your first day?” He questioned, you both nearly forgot that you were in a public workspace. Not even paying attention to the quick eyes on you.

“Yeah… This is my first day, kinda obvious I think, though.” You joked, he let out a small chuckle. You were funny, he liked that.

“It’s okay, nothing’s wrong with that.” Sam reassured you, the smiles exchanged between the two of you were genuine. He’d taken an interest in you, and you’d taken one in him too.

“Do you know where the elevator is?” You realized that was probably a little stupid to ask since he’d obviously been working here, “Sorry, that was a little stupid to ask- but could you show me it, please?” You were apologizing for something so small, it was cute, he thought.

“It’s not, don’t worry. I’ll show you,”

The whole walk towards the elevator he was directing you to was probably the best first day experience you’d had in all of your years of job searching. He was kind, humorous. You’d probably laughed at every joke he made on the way there.

Maybe it was too early to say you thought he was cute, okay, too early. But how could you not? He flashed a grin at you each glance he sent your way, opening each door for you, he was a gentleman.

When you both made your way to the elevator, you already began to thank him again, “I appreciate this, a lot. This just might be the best first day experience I’ve had in years, thank you.” You weren’t thinking for a second, already getting lost in the way he was looking at you. You had just met, and he was looking at you so attentively like he’d known you for years. You didn’t think you’d ever had the urge to kiss someone so strong before, and you didn’t think you’d act on it.

His eyes widened when you pressed your lips to his, it was unexpected, very. Realizing the action you’d done without thinking, you moved to pull away to mumble apologies, but he interrupted you, this time, he initiated it.

If anyone knew Sam Wesson, they’d believe that he’d never have the balls to even reciprocate a kiss like that, especially with someone as stunning as you.

But he did.

This time you were taken off guard, but you melted into it maybe quicker than you should’ve. It felt right, it felt familiar. Almost like you’d done this before — in another lifetime.

Sam fumbled with the door handle to some empty, abandoned office. Opening it and quickly shoving the papers off the desk, placing you on top of it before reconnecting your lips. The bag you carried was discarded at the door after it clicked shut. You were both too desperate to care about getting caught, or to even think about that.

He didn’t need to look to know that you were aroused. He could practically feel the heat radiating from your body. He pulled away for a split second, his fingers trailing down to the button of your jeans, “Is this okay?” He breathed out, his gaze trained on yours. He didn’t want to take this further without knowing if you were okay with this. You nodded, but immediately followed the nod up with words.

“Yeah- yes, please.” He popped the button loose, your own hands reaching down to undo his belt. The tan dress pants he wore quickly discarded afterwards once he had tugged your jeans down. Once you were both undressed from the waist down, you pulled him in again for another kiss. This time it seemed impossibly more needy.

Why did this feel all so familiar?

Sam mumbled something against your lips that you couldn’t quite make out yet without him saying it more clearly again, “Are you…?” You were both at work for god's sake, why would either of you think about a condom? At Least you took birth control.

“Yeah- took it this morning, ‘s okay.” You confirmed, he nodded in response. His hand wrapped around his shaft as he guided himself to your entrance. He let out a groan at the feel of your arousal coating his head with just one swipe.

“You’re- god, you’re soaked…” He almost sounded surprised, this wasn’t his first time. He just didn’t think anyone could get this turned on because of him… but you find out new things everyday, right?

You let out a small whimper in response, each time he bumped against your puffy button, you could feel yourself getting even more excited. He took note of that. He looked up from where your bodies nearly connected, meeting your eyes again.

“Ready?” He asked, you didn’t get a good glimpse at his size, but seeing how the man was practically standing taller than six feet, you knew he was probably gonna be a challenge. But fuck, you wanted this. So fuck it.

“Yeah, go ahead.”

Just his tip sliding past his folds was already stretching you. Every inch that joined after had you gasping, your nails scratching at his clothed back. At least Sam remembered that you were both still in semi public.

He leaned down, brushing his lips against the skin of your neck. Placing soft kisses and bites to distract you from the intrusion in your walls. Whispering praises and coos to you, telling you how good you were doing for him, how pretty you were.

Sam wasn’t doing any better on the ‘keeping quiet’ part. You felt perfect wrapped around him like this. It was like you both fit together like a puzzle piece.

“Good- Good girl, feel so good… taking me so well too, angel.” He praised through gritted teeth, “You… You gotta be a little quiet though, baby. Still- Still could get caught.” He reminded, watching as you bit your bottom lip in an attempt to muffle your whimpers. He gave you time to adjust, he knew he was big, not in an egotistical manner, he just was aware of his size. He didn’t want to hurt you.

”You can move — Please, move.” You sounded so sweet, he couldn’t refuse that.

He trailed kisses from your neck up to your lips to swallow your moans as he rocked his hips forward. One of his hands holding your leg up, while the other steadied you by holding onto your hip. Your hand went up to run through his brown locks. His hair was soft to your palm.

“Faster.” You pleaded, Sam didn’t hesitate to oblige. Groans and sounds of his own fell from his lips, he couldn’t hold them in anymore. Neither could you.

He felt you squeeze around him and he let out a moan. The sound had your eyes rolling back, the desk creaked as his thrusts grew more uncoordinated. Mewls starting to leave you now while your nails clawed at his back through his shirt, hard enough to leave a small rip of the yellow fabric.

“God- you feel perfect, Sweetheart. Squeezing around me like that- shit…” You connected your lips to his again which Sam didn’t hesitate in returning.

You were both getting close already, and Sam knew he couldn’t possibly pull out. Not when you felt so good like this.

“Can I- Can I come inside you, baby? Is that okay with you, Angel?” The noises that filled the abandoned office were pornographic. The thought of someone catching you both in this compromising, intimate position left your minds. Even if it got you both fired, you’d both still believe it was worth it.

“Mm- please… come inside of m’ pussy, Sammy…” The nickname slipped past your lips so easily, as if you were used to it. Normally Sam wouldn’t let anyone call him that, but it felt right with you. It felt in place.

“Alright, ‘s okay, I've got you, Pretty.” He hissed, his hips beginning to stutter. Another drawn out moan came from your lips as he pulsed inside of you, triggering your own orgasm.

Your release mixed with his own, dripping down the inside of your thighs when he pulled away. Admiring his work with a dazed expression on his face. He took two of his fingers and pushed the mixture back inside of you, making sure it didn’t get everywhere.

You whimpered at the contact with your now sensitive intimacy. And he quickly pressed a kiss to your lips to comfort you.

“Did so good f’ me… such a pretty baby. So beautiful.” His praises were practically a melody to your ears, you felt as if you could never get tired of it.

It felt so right, so familiar despite the circumstances.

Everything’s Supernatural sometimes though, right?

[girllblogging777]

𝐻𝐸𝐴𝑅𝑇𝑆 𝑅𝐸𝐶𝐿𝐴𝐼𝑀𝐸𝐷

↳ mattheo riddle x fem!reader drabble (fluff, angst)

↳ 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡 : 1,02k

𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦 : mattheo’s jealousy causes an argument, but both find yourself comforting eachother

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

"i told you i don’t care about that ravenclaw guy, he was just asking me about a potions assignment," you snapped, the frustration of your argument with mattheo finally reaching its peak. your boyfriend had found you talking to another boy in the great hall this morning, and he hadn’t let it go since, making you the main target of his pent up anger.

"well, i care! i care that my girlfriend was being all giggly with some guy in front of everyone, and i care even more that you’re brushing it off like it’s nothing!" he shouted back, running his hand through his brunette curls in frustration. you knew mattheo’s short temper well, how his mental health and past trauma affected his ability to express emotions, but he rarely lashed out at you like this. today had been different, and you’d sensed it the moment you saw that flicker of harshness in his usual soft brown eyes.

you sighed, trying to explain yourself calmly and hoping to ease his anger before things escalated, silently aware that it wouldn’t change anything. "look, i understand how you must be feeling right now, but—" he cut you off, his voice sharp and unyielding.

“no, you don’t ! stop playing therapist all the time. you don’t get it, and you’re never fucking going to." his words were harsh, and you tried not to let it get to your head, knowing he wasn’t thinking clearly. you braced yourself for what might come next, knowing he was too far gone to appreciate your gentleness. "maybe if you weren’t always trying to fix me, it would be easier. not my fault you’re oversensitive and can’t take anything !"

that was the breaking point. he’d crossed a line, and he didn’t even seem to care. mattheo knew how much you hated being yelled at, how it made you feel small and vulnerable, and yet, today he hadn’t held back. deep down, you knew the reason : he hated how much power you had over him, how easily you could mess with his heart. in this entire school, you were the only one who dared to stand up to mattheo riddle, to tell him the truth even when it hurt. it was why your relationship worked, but also why you ended up having those arguments so often.

something shifted in your gaze, and he noticed it : the tiny spark of pain mixed with the tears welling up in your eyes. you whispered pleadingly, "don’t yell at me like that, i can’t do this." your voice was small, but the impact was immediate. the anger faded away from his eyes, when he remembered you telling him the reason why you couldn’t stand shouting. he realised he’d just reenacted the past trauma you had told him about and his lips curved into a barely-there frown. you saw the regret settling in his expression.

"i know… i took it too far. i shouldn’t have." his voice was softer now, the anger draining from his features. you didn’t move or say anything, still reeling from the sting of his words. mattheo took a hesitant step towards you, his eyes searching yours, filled with a mixture of guilt and desperation. he hesitated, he saw the hurt he’d caused, the way your body tensed as if waiting for more. he hated himself for letting his temper get the better of him, for hurting the one person who had always stood by him.

“baby, please…” he said softly, his voice trembling slightly as he took another step towards you. he reached out, but you instinctively flinched, and he froze, the guilt getting to him. you turned away, swallowing the lump in your throat, trying to keep the tears from spilling over. “mattheo, you know i care about you more than anything, but i can’t keep doing this. you can’t keep lashing out at me every time you’re upset. it’s not fair.”

“i know,” he whispered, his voice thick with regret. “i just… i don’t know how to deal with it sometimes. i get so scared of losing you that i get jealous and push you away. it’s messed up, i know that.” you finally looked at him, seeing the pain in his eyes, the vulnerability he so rarely showed. it was the side of mattheo that made you fall for him, the boy beneath the act who just wanted to be loved and understood. but that didn’t make the hurt disappear.

“i’m not going anywhere,” you said, your voice steady but soft as you tried to comfort him. “but i need you to be with me in this, mattheo. i can’t be the only one trying to fix it.” he nodded, a tear slipping down his cheek, though he quickly wiped it away. “i promise, i’ll do better. i don’t want to lose you. you’re the only good thing i have.”

the sincerity in his voice made your heart ache. you took a deep breath, feeling the weight of the moment, and then slowly closed the distance between you, wrapping your arms around him. his arms enveloped you immediately, holding you tight as if you might slip away. you had never seen him cry before but that single tear on his cheek was enough to make you forget what had just happened

“i’m sorry,” he murmured into your hair, his voice muffled but heartfelt. “i’ll work on it, i swear.” you nodded against his chest, feeling his heartbeat slow as he calmed down. “i know you will. just… talk to me next time, okay? before it gets to this point.”

“i will,” he promised, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head. “i love you, and i’m not going to let my stupid temper ruin what we have.” you pulled back slightly, looking up at him with a small, forgiving smile. “i love you too, mattheo. just… no more yelling, okay?” he nodded frantically, brushing a tear from your cheek with his thumb. “no more yelling. i’ll keep that in check.”

you both stood there for a moment, just holding each other, letting the tension melt away. the storm had passed, and in its place was a new sense of understanding and commitment. mattheo might not be perfect, but neither were you, and that was okay. as long as you faced your flaws together, there was nothing you couldn’t overcome.

“but you have to promise me not to let anyone get too close to you” he finally said, his voice lighter, almost playful. “and besides, you’re only supposed to laugh at my jokes.”

you smiled, chuckling. “he didn’t stand a single chance.” whatever challenges lay ahead, you knew you’d face them together, and that was all that mattered.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

a/n : thank you @reys-letters for your request !!! please like/comment/reblog and leave requests if you think of something <3

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[gatitties]

Web of love

─Yandere!Jujutsu Kaisen x fem!reader (platonic)

─Summary: you just keep adding lunatics to the list like they're pokemon and you lose patience

─Warnings: mahito (he's a warning himself yeh) blood, death, a little anxiety attack, toxic behaviors, obsession, yandere stuff

Part One / Part Three / Part Four

The blank pages: Part One / Par Two

I'm done downloading my inspiration on this for now, I feel like this is a little longer, sorryyy 😶

YOU WERE too quick to accept that these sorcerers would do whatever they wanted with you, but in a way, starting a verbal fight to refuse to do certain quests would cause you more problems than solutions, so you were just like a body empty of soul moving back and forth, simply waiting for the next order to complete it as quickly as possible.

The worst thing of all was that it wasn't annoying, at least, not the fact of taking orders, you liked it, you didn't have to think too much, just do this and that, you definitely started to think that all those tests of 'are you a leader or a follower' made sense all those times that your result was being a follower, you wanted an easy life and being a leader of anything is a complete stress that you were not going to go through.

So your simplistic and conformist personality only made it easier for all those sorcerers to mold you to their liking, this does not mean that whenever they asked to spend time with you or simply be attached to you you accepted, they would always have a negative response at first, however if they continued insisting, as may be the case with Itadori and Nobara, you would agree to do what they wanted, because accepting is easier than declining. Megumi and Gojo weren't as persistent in asking for small favors or bonding time, which you appreciated.

"I was looking for you, Maki and I are going to go downtown to look for some cursed weapons, do you want to come?"

Nobara, getting into the bad habit of not knocking on your door and entering without permission, throw herself at your bed grabbing your hand to beg you to go out with her and Maki, knowing that you would refuse she started whining about how you hadn't left your room lately and that she had been very busy with the missions. With no other option you accepted, hoping to be able to get back to what you were doing later in the night.

You thanked the heavens that Maki Zenin was skeptical about your stay at the Jujutsu school, since you did not show any interest in developing cursed techniques or improving physical abilities, she thought that you were not important enough, a shame that Nobara had to drag you with her long enough for Maki to end up getting attached to you, you barely talked to her but for some reason she ended up liking you.

"Come on, we don't have all afternoon."

Maki began to walk waiting for you both to follow her steps, a couple of minutes later the two of them began a light idle chat while you followed behind, only with one of your headphones on in case they spoke to you at some point.

"Be careful, you should stop looking at your phone and look at your surroundings, you are so careless."

The girl with glasses grabbed the back of the collar of your uniform to stop you just before you crossed a red zebra crossing for pedestrians, you watched for a moment as the cars sped by just a few centimeters from you with blank eyes.

"Yeah, I'm sorry."

You shrugged, putting away your phone like a scolded child, Nobara took the liberty of grabbing your hand to guide you the rest of the way, at least you could walk looking absent-mindedly at anything that caught your attention without worrying about tripping.

Disinterested and bored once they started negotiating about the cursed weapons, you decided that you could go out for a few minutes without anyone noticing to the bakery you had seen around the corner, you felt like something sweet, you were going to buy something sweet and no one will stop you. Unfortunately before you could get out of the alley, because of course, a shop like that wasn't going to be visible to everyone, once again a curse clung to you desperately to be forgiven.

"Not now please."

You took a couple of minutes to release the cursed energy of that curse, feeling your eyelids heavier and your body more relaxed, of course your ability had cons, after all what you were doing was consuming cursed energy, your way of releasing it were resting, which led you to sometimes fall asleep even standing up due to exhaustion.

Your slight drowsiness disappeared when you heard the sewer besides you sliding with a squeak, a strange mass began to come out until it formed a guy who looked like a sewn doll, his bicolor eyes looked into your soul.

"That was very interesting, where is that curse? Did you absorb it? Did you kill it?"

Your parents had taught you that you shouldn't talk to strangers, especially if they seemed like lunatics who could deform and come out of random sewers, and like a good mom and dad's girl, you looked away, backing away to exit through the other side of the alley, but he managed to grab your wrist so you wouldn't run away.

"It's rude to ignore someone when they speak, you know?"

You frowned looking at his hand on you, remaining silent, you let out an inaudible sigh, you always had to end up in this type of situation, tangled with people ─in this case curses─ that trapped you without wanting to let go.

"I sent it to rot in hell, its soul will remain suffering until eternity, remembering and regretting all the evils it has caused, it will be subjected to the worst tortures imaginable."

He remained silent before bursting into laughter, you had said all that so seriously, with that grim face that he almost believed it, you hoped that trying to 'scare' him would work, but this curse had at least a couple more neurons than the ones you used to meet.

"Aren't you funny? It's a shame I have to kill you, I thought we could be friends but you're-"

The ground began to shake, almost losing your balance, you took advantage of the sudden distraction to free yourself from Mahito's grip, approaching the nearest wall so as not to fall due to the tremors, the sewer flew away and you could see how the curse paled, transforming again to escape.

"How many hours have I lost in this chase?"

A new voice came out of nowhere, turning around you saw a blonde man with glasses, he was wearing a uniform and had a blood stained weapon in one of his hands, you looked at each other in silence until he spoke again.

"A student… hey, have you seen that curse? Where did he flee?"

Figuring he was trustworthy enough since he seemed to recognize the Jujutsu high, you silently pointed in the direction Mahito left, earning a nod from him to leave you there alone again. As if that weren't enough, before you could leave the alley to get some sweet, you ran into another curse, this one looked like a volcano with only one eye, it was petting a stray cat while muttering things like 'you're a good boy' in a squeaky voice, you were going to turn around to make this less awkward but your bones had to make that weird sound sometimes when you walk.

His one eye widened at the sight of you, a small rash erupting from his head and he shot up at the speed of light.

"I'll pretend I haven't seen anything if you pretend you haven't seen me."

You decided to reach a mutual agreement because you heard Nobara shout your name, surely they had finished their purchase or had been alerted by the noise earlier, and if they found you now they would surely distract you enough that you wouldn't be able to buy your candy. You took enough time to complete your little mission, as just as you left the bakery you were approached by the red-haired girl who hugged you like a whimpering koala.

"You can't disappear like that out of nowhere! We heard a shaking and thought something bad had happened to you."

She rubbed her cheek against your shoulder, you murmured apologies while still savoring your sweet, Maki remained silent watching the interaction, carefully searching for any kind of scratch or wound on your body, she sighed in relief when she saw that you didn't seem to have anything.

"We have already spent a lot of time here, we should go back, Toge and Panda are waiting for us for our training."

The encounter with these two curses, Mahito and Jogo, was only a small trigger that led you to strangely meet them more times later, you were never close of course, but your eyes always seemed to meet the multicolored or the single eye of those guys in some bustling part of the city, you knew they had some plan with Itadori, but it's not like you could do anything, you just alerted Gojo and he thanked you with a few pats on the head for the information.

On the other hand, you became a recurring conversation on the side of the villains, for one reason or another, everyone got to know you, either because Mahito was talking about you or because you had an encounter with Geto or Choso, not knowing them, you felt strange when you exchanged glances with them because you felt the same as when you first met the trio of sorceres, they already knew you before you knew anything about them.

Their curiosity about you was only based on overprotectiveness and how obsessed the sorcerers were with you, you seemed to be an important person, was it because of your power? Was it because of your cursed technique? It was something they wanted to find out and anyway if it was nothing like that, they could always use you as a wild card to blackmail them.

You decided to ignore their presence while you worked on your assignments, assignments in which you got to know that blonde guy, Nanami, he was assigned with you for a couple of missions and at first he felt quite irritated by your carefree behavior and even annoyed by your lack of interest in the work, but he couldn't blame you, in his eyes, like Itadori, you were just a teenager who shouldn't be doing this kind of work. He proposed to himself that no student was going to die under his care, especially someone who was never in favor of being part of the cursed world.

You just kept adding people who were worried or interested in you to the list, and you thought that there was no one else who could feel that way, that you could finally breathe easy, that you could stop moving through that web that kept you captive, that you could snuggling in your sheets protecting yourself from the cold while you hugged a pillow and slept carefree.

And… out of nowhere you wake up with a wet cheek, an eternal sea of blood where you could float, in the distance a temple made up of different animal and human bones. Your eyes became slightly watery, your only moment of rest ruined by whatever was happening, you were upset, furious, maybe it was the first time since you left home you felt an emotion this strong and vivid.

"This has to be a fucking joke…"

You mumble walking towards the temple hoping to find some kind of answer to get out of there, you wanted your hours of sleep back, you wanted to disconnect your brain from reality and travel to your dreams seeking solace outside of this world, not to be trapped in this stupid place.

"This is unusual, how did you manage to get here, brat?"

You rubbed your face furiously, of course you had heard about Sukuna, how Itadori swallowed a fucking finger, but luckily you didn't have any encounter with the king of curses, until now. Again it seemed like he already knew you, but how could he not? You occupied more than half of Itadori's thoughts.

"That's what I would like to know, is this your domain? Get me out of here."

"I can't."

You couldn't contain the irritated grimace you made, this time your expressionlessness broke as well as your patience, a small twitch appeared in your eye and you began to breathe harder, you rubbed your head too hard, perhaps tearing out a few strands in the process, but you didn't care, you exploded after putting up with so much shit.

"Tell me it's a joke, you're the king of curses, not the king of comedians, get me out of here."

Your tone of voice stopped being monotonous, now radiating annoyance and demand that made Sukuna smile at your outburst, he had always heard Itadori complain about how unexpressive you were with them and now you are exploiting a lot of negative emotions.

"Well, I can do that, but for that I would have to kill you."

"Do it." you didn't take a second or hesitate to respond, almost surprising the man, who watched you in silence as you approached him, your frown more with every step you took "What the hell are you waiting for? Do it, kill me."

Sukuna had seen many people begging him, begging for lives, begging to end suffering, it wasn't even the first time they had begged him for a death, but this felt… strange, he had never seen someone so young desperate to die, he had never seen someone have the anxiety attack you were experiencing right now, and strangely he had never felt the kind of energy you gave off, it was somewhat reassuring. He began to understand all the macabre thoughts about you in Itadori's thoughts, all that overprotection and worry, or perhaps, he had gone crazy, becoming infected because of the human in which he was locked up.

"Mmmh, I can do it, but you will only wake up, if you have managed to get here without trying, you will surely come back when you try to sleep again, but it is only a theory, since you have never been here before."

"In that case I'll think of something, but let me wake up."

"Ok"

He shrugged with disinterest, you didn't even feel how his fist lodged in your abdomen, your body staggered towards his, while he held you with one of his arms, the other pulled out your heart that continued pumping blood, you looked in disgust as he seemed to enjoy watching the blood splash across his face.

"Son of a bitch with a fetish for dishearten people…"

It was the only thing you said before your body faded away, immediately waking up in your bed with labored breathing, you placed your hands on your heart, checking that it was still in place, beating rapidly from the agitation. That specific night you couldn't sleep, because by doing so you returned to Sukuna's domain, or to Itadori's mind, the problem was rooted in the fact that that specific day Itadori was much more worried about you than usual, generating a certain connection that interfered with his and your dreams, the middle ground being Sukuna's domain.

Now you couldn't even go to sleep thinking about having a good dream, because depending on the night you would end up stuck with the king of curses, another person added to the list, would this be some kind of divine punishment? You just want to run to your parents and hug them with all your might, for them to tell you that everything will be okay and that you are a good daughter, for the moment you will settle for hugging your cold pillow in search of comfort while three pairs of eyes watch as your emotions slowly deteriorates.

They would make sure to be the arms that keep you warm, to be the people you turn to in these types of situations, you shouldn't be sad, you are much better off here, more protected and safe.

"Good night darling, have sweet dreams."

Gojo, having shooed the other three students away from you, entered your room, gently wiping away the tears that stained your cheeks, he stroked your hair for a few seconds before brushing away a few strands and kissing your forehead. He hadn't had the chance to prove that he was capable of being a good father in Megumi's eyes, but he could be to you, it's a shame that you still cling to your parents as role models when he was there, he would be a better father figure, just wait.

[kissme-suguru]

You and Their Kids

˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺ JJK Gojo, Nanami, Geto x Fem Reader

Warnings: Non Curse Au, mention of menstrual cycle,

A/N: I'm such a sucker for dilfs. This is like a drabble mixed with headcannons based on what I think the main aspect of their parenting style is. part 2 maybe?

Gojo Satoru ♡︎

Becoming the guardian of Megumi and Tsumiki at the age of eighteen was no easy feat, still being a kid himself he grew with them and sometimes acted more like an older brother than a father but that didn't stop his (sometimes overbearing) affection.

When he first introduced you to Megumi you coulda swore the kid was raising Satoru and not the other way around. His level of maturity was off the charts which Satoru tried to take credit for (lies). Megumi liked having you around for the main reason of his guardian having someone else to bother, constantly stating how he likes you more than him. The boys bickered pretty often and it always made you laugh.

Satoru loved to watch you and Megumi interact, seeing a nurturing side to you warmed his heart to the core. Megumi began seeing you as a guardian as well when he witnessed you taking care of Tsumiki in the hospital, which was a part of his daily routine he didn't really like to talk about. And for that they both appreciated you immensely.

"Megs!" You called out to the navy haired boy as he walked with his peers, turning around at the nickname. He stopped in place waiting for you catch up. "I brought you lunch, I didn't want you to be starving after training."

His hand accepted the bento box with a nod of acknowledgement.

Suddenly the sound of Satoru's singsong voice caught your attention. He quickly jogged up to you two, wasting no time wrapping his arm around your shoulder and placing a kiss on your head. "You didn't tell me you were coming today, babe."

"I was just bringing Megs some food real quick." He look offended.

"And what about me??" You rolled your eyes with a slight smile at his pouty words.

"How could I forget?" Reaching into your bag you pulled out another bento and handed it to Satoru, making is eyes light up dramatically.

"Ah! You're the best. Just in time for training, thanks babe." He pressed another kiss to the top of your head before letting you go and walking ahead to talk to Yuji and Nobara.

Megumi lingered back for a moment, wrapping his arms around you in a soft in embrace. Your hand stroked his hair softly with a smile on your lips. Although he didn't convey his emotions often it was obvious this little gesture meant a lot.

"Thank you."

"Of course."

Geto Suguru ♡︎

Similar to Satoru; Suguru adopted his girls young, bringing Mimiko and Nanako into his care not long after graduating. He had such a soft spot for the girls and never failed to cater to their every need.

As the girls grew into their teen years Suguru had even more trouble saying no to them, practically bending to their every request and spoiling. He allows them to drag him into various malls and restaurants and of course he carries their many bags with a smile on his face.

The girls took to you very quickly when you entered the picture, happy see their dad smile more than usual and excited to have a woman's presence around the house.. You really played the mother role well, giving them tips on makeup and taking time to do their hair. You were the one they came to when they got their periods and it was times like those were Suguru was glad you were around to educate them on the things he couldn't. Suguru took pride in your mother like instincts, often just watching the three of you quietly with a smile on his face.

His ability to say no diminished even further when you two started dating, the girls often let you in on their schemes knowing he couldn't turn down all three of his girls.

"Can we go get ice cream? Pretty pleeeeasee?" Nanako intertwined her fingers as she pouted.

"Pretty pleeeeasee?" Mimiko followed suit, matching her twins pouting.

"Yeah Sugu, Pretty please?" A teasing smile lingered on your lips as you followed, making Suguru itch the back of his neck with a groan.

"What am I gonna do with you girls?"

"Take us to get ice cream?"

"I vote for that."

"Yeah me too."

He shook his head with a smile. "Alright, alright. Put the puppy dog eyes away."

Kento Nanami ♡︎

Nanami wasn't exactly Yuji's dad but he was the closest thing the boy had to a father figure, allowing him into his home under his protection. Despite his sometimes stoic personality Nanami cared for the boy deeply and wanted to see him succeed in life. Although it did take a bit of effort for him to bring his walls down and get out of his comfort zone when it came to his interests.

When you and Nanami started dating his softer side to him began to grow, taking more time to spend with the two of you and relish in the presences of his loved ones.

As much as he didn't want to admit it he loved that you and Itadori kept him on his toes and brought new found excitement into his life. The fact that you and the pink haired boy had similar personalities always made him chuckle to himself, the two of you were like peas in a pod and that made it even harder to say no.

"Y/N, tell Nanamin that we have to go see the new Human Earthworm 4!"

"I just don't see the appeal in those types of movies, they're too hard to follow ." Nanami didn't bother looking up from his newspaper while you and Itadori baked cookies.

"It's entertaining, hon."

"But the story doesn't make sense." "How could you not get it?! It's a tragic love story between a girl and a human earth worm, you can't get a better plot!" Itadori's eyes practically sparkled as he talked about the movie, making you chuckle.

You finished putting the cookies on the sheet allowing Itadori to put them in the oven while you walked behind Nanami and wrapped your arms around his neck, resting your head on his. "Come on hon, I heard this was the best movie out of the series."

He sighed, setting down the newspaper and rubbing the bridge of his nose. The blonde's eyes glancing back and forth between his lady and Itadori who held a small pout.

"If we must."

"Yay! Thank you!!" The two of you said in unison as Itadori also wrapped his arms around Nanami. The gesture made him crack a small smile and lean into the affection.

"Mhm."

[honey-on-your-tongue]

FWB

Part one

Logan Howlett x fem!reader

Series masterlist

You first met Logan when he showed up at the X mansion, angry and distant and cold. You shrugged it off, every mutant had their own story and you respected that.

You could tell he was afraid to open up at first, particularly around you because you were always so curious about his ability. It fascinated you that he could heal just like that.

You could mend tissue or tear it apart on your body or anyone else's, and it took an extraordinary amount of energy. His body did it automatically and in a matter of seconds.

He didn't appreciate your enthusiasm. But eventually, you two warmed up to one another. And you might've even considered each other friends.

It started because...well...Logan is a complicated man. Very complicated. He's very picky about who he lets get close to him, and even then he remains reserved.

But Jean had been in his heart since day one. You never knew why, he refused to talk about her to anyone.

And then she died. And then she wasn't dead. And then he had to kill her.

He wasn't okay for a long while. He didn't even hit on every pretty woman he saw, as was usual.

And one day he just...snapped.

-

Logan's pent up. Jean's death is a weight on his shoulders he can't shake. And because of that, he can't focus. So he isn't working well, he isn't functioning. So his solution is to jack off, let go of some steam. But it doesn't work. He can't come on his own, no matter how hard he tries. No matter what porn he watches.

Then this one time, this funny thing happened? He was jerking off in his room—trying to, at least—and he heard your voice. You were walking down the hall, talking to someone.

“...so good,” you were saying, probably to a student about how they'd done in an exam.

For some reason, he imagined you on all fours on the bed, back arched, hands holding onto the bed sheets for life as he pounded you from behind.

He could imagine your voice crying out, “So good! So good!”

And suddenly—

His cock twitched, a groan left his lips and before he knew what was happening, he was coming all over himself. Thick spurts of his load spilled onto his hand, dripped down his cock, sticky and warm.

He gasped for breath, unable to understand what had just happened. So quick, so easy. And all because he just imagined you...

He shakes his head. That's wrong. You're his friend. You two work together and he doesn't wanna fuck that up.

So he pushes the thought away and pretends it never happened.

But later that day, when he runs into you in the kitchen, he's embarrassed, ashamed, maybe even a little guilty. You don't seem to notice as you just greet him and go about whatever you were doing.

He can't keep his eyes off you, can't look away. And the next thing he knows, you're bending over to grab a plate from one of the lower kitchen drawers and his cock springs to attention.

He clenches his jaw as he feels himself hardening, his mind already conjuring up images of you bent over his bed, that pretty ass of yours bouncing as he fucks you from behind. Your pussy all wet and spread out for him. Your hands grabbing onto the bed sheets like your life depends on it...

“Lo?” you ask, and he's snapped out of his thoughts.

“Hm?” he grunts, trying as discreetly as he can to take a step towards the counter and hide his growing erection from you.

“I asked if you want anything? I'm gonna go to the store, buy some ice cream for some of the kids.”

A few condoms and lube would work, he thinks to himself. Before remembering you can hear other people's thoughts when it's something they mean to say but don't.

You raise your eyebrows. “Oh. Um. Okay.” You nod, pretty cheeks blushing slightly. “I'll...Yeah. Alright. Any...particular ones?”

He feels like crawling into a hole and dying, but it's too late now. “No,” he replies, shaking his head. “Just...I need some extra large ones, though.”

Your blush deepens and you glance away, clearing your throat. “Right. Okay. I'll...be back soon.”

He nods curtly and watches you walk away. Once you're out of sight, he grabs his head in his hands.

“Fuckin' idiot,” he murmurs, his appetite lost, and he turns around to go back to his room.

The thing is, his cock is still hard and it's getting extremely uncomfortable. And he's leaking precum onto his pants.

He groans as he closes the door, in too much of a hurry as he kicks his pants off, his cock hard, the tip a dark red.

He lays down on his bed, spits on his hand. He fists his cock and jerks it a few times slowly, before closing his eyes and imagining some girl's pussy.

But it doesn't work. Fuck, it doesn't work. He thinks of all the random women he's fucked, all his hookups, and nothing. Absolutely nothing. His cock is still hard, his hand is getting tired.

And then you pop into his head. Cute eyes, soft lips, that gorgeous body.

He knows it's wrong, but he just can't help it. So, he jerks off to the thought of you. Those pretty lips around his cock, your hands holding onto his arms as he fucks you hard. Your face all scrunched up in pleasure...

He doesn't realize he's moaning your name, gasping and groaning like a fucking dog until the door swings open.

“You called? I was just about to leave—”

His eyes snap open, his hand on his cock freezes. He glances at the door and meets your gaze just before your eyes fall on his cock.

“Oh,” you say, voice trembling a little. “'m sorry, I...I thought...I could've sworn you said my name—I mean, I thought you were calling me...”

“I was,” he says stupidly, breathless, too stunned to even cover himself up.

You swallow thickly, eyes darting nervously around the room. When your gaze meets his, he thinks, for what it's worth, I was thinking of you.

Your eyes widen and you blush even more, a strangled, nervous sound leaving your mouth. “I-I gotta go to the store. The kids are waiting for their ice cream. Um...Bye,” you stutter out and leave, shutting the door after yourself.

He lays back on his bed, covering his face with one hand. “Fuck,” he groans. Now he's going to have to talk to you and that can't possibly end well.

---

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Taglist

@nerrivm @rosiahills22 @d3vils-adv0c8 @thychuvaluswife @18lkpeters @daddy333 @e-nonsense @ch3rryblossms @ayamenimthiriel @thesecretlifeofmo @simming4sims @raideaters-blog @1cam8 @angelicbbsblog

[rewiringtoheal]

This Pain Is Temporary

Anna x Fem!Reader

1/?

He's Just Not That Into You AU

Summary: I was watching this movie and had a lot of what if questions. What if the main cast actually all communicated with each other? What if Anna actually had some character development? What if Reader was a variation of a female Conor Barry who got a clue? And how would these differences lead to Anna genuinely falling in love with Reader.

warnings: very slowburn, angst, worse before better, eventual fluff and smut.

You feel used. This person that you love…loved?? You aren’t really sure anymore of your feelings toward Anna. It was never simple with her. And truthfully, you wish you could go back to your blissful ignorance.

 You had been so thrilled when she told you she was finally ready to take the next step with you. A real relationship with the girl of your dreams. Having your heartfelt love confession be returned and then making love for hours was more than you ever could have hoped for. 

You now knew it was all a lie. And that Anna was a very skilled actor. In your excitement you had raced home the next morning to tell your best buddy Alex and his new girlfriend GiGi the news. After showing them a picture of Anna and you. The night of bliss quickly turned sour; GiGi hesitantly told you that Anna was the same woman that had a very recent affair with her best friend's husband. And everything the past few months had started to make sense. How Anna would constantly ignore your calls but somehow always be available when she needed her emotional needs met. And finding out that the only reason she wanted a relationship with you was because the man of her dreams wouldn’t leave his wife was heartbreaking. How could you be so stupid? And how could you be so blind to the type of person Anna really was.

You felt a hand squeezing your knee bringing you back to the world around you. You  see GiGi’s hand retreating and her eyes filled with sorrow. You muster up a strained smile.

“Well, at least I had my dream girl for a moment even if it wasn’t real. Looking back, I kinda see now that she treated me like shit but I was so lost in her. I can’t believe I was so blind to her selfishness. And now this…I don’t think I ever really knew her at all,” you say somberly.  

Alex let out a deep sigh, “Dude I don’t really know what to say. She did really shitty things but maybe she's not a shitty person. The moments you had together weren’t all fake. The parts of herself she showed you are probably real. And you can love those parts and still be hurt that she lied about her feelings for you.”

You give a weak chuckle, “You’re right..but I don’t know how to deal with this. I do still love her even if she used me. I see it so clearly now. I’m the back up plan. The person she really wanted hurt her so she chose the safe option.”

Gigi looked at you, her eyes filling with sorrow, “Sometimes people don’t know what they have until it's gone. She is making awful decisions and it’s hurting everyone around her. Deal with this by loving yourself first. I know it's hard but she doesn’t appreciate you. And only wants you when she has no one else.”

That was hard to hear but Gigi was right. You need to take care of yourself. For months you have been putting all of your energy into Anna. Being there for her emotionally, picking up her dry cleaning, giving her rides, and loving her to the best of your ability. All to realize that she never really cared about you, not even as a friend. A friend wouldn’t play with your feelings like this.  

You continue to chat with your friends for a little while longer. Eventually you grow too sad and too tired to keep up the conversation. You excuse yourself for the night and head up to your bedroom. Not in the mood to do your night time routine you just chuck off your clothes, put your cellphone on your night stand and cuddle under the covers. 

Your mind keeps turning in circles as you lay there. The happiness you had felt earlier today has turned into a deep sadness. And for the first time since Gigi told you about Anna you allow yourself to cry. As silent tears move down the contours of your face you burrow into your pillow; just praying to yourself that you can fall asleep. Anything to stop the pain. 

You briefly wonder if Gigi’s friend Janine is in the same state you are right now. You know more than likely she is worse off than you. Janine's entire life is in shambles. Her husband is awful no doubt about it but you just can’t wrap your head around Anna getting involved with a married man. Nothing makes sense anymore but maybe you never had a clue to begin with.

[caeunot]

hii first of all i love your writing and im so glad i came across your fics 🖤 i was wondering if you could maybe write a johnnie x fem reader, enemies to lovers fic? or something along the lines of johnnie and fem reader always bullying each other a bit only to realise they've been crushing on each other the whole time?

johnnie guilbert x reader

enemies to lovers 18+

➷ you hated his guts, everything about him irritated you and made your skin crawl. you are friends with jake and you absolutely love him to bits so you spending time with him normally equals to you having to be around johnnie. these feelings aren't without reason though, your not the type of girl to hate on others very easily.

it happened a few years back, when your own youtube career recently jumpstarted and you started spending time with other similar youtubers near you. this is how you originally met johnnie, even before jake. you were first invited to a party hosted by some popular la youtuber at the time and you obviously took the invite since you knew this would not only help you make more friends in the industry but to also promote yourself!

you were greeting everyone and taking many pictures as the night went on, fully using this opportunity to the best of your ability. as it hit 12 you decided to look around and scope out the last person you want to introduce yourself to before you head home. you saw a short-ish guy with deep red emo hair swooped to the side with harsh makeup around his eyes and you were immediately intriged. you preferred a more grunge look yourself so seeing someone with such familiar fashion made you feel at ease.

"hey im y/n!" you say, introducing yourself. "do I know you?" he says coldly as he turns to see who was speaking to him. "no but everyone will soon the way my channel is going" you say with some sass so you can counter his rudeness. "you have way too much confidence" he says with a smirk. "so I've been told".

"what's your name?" you ask, "my names johnnie, johnnie guilbert". "well nice to meet you johnnie" you say with a smile. "what do you do for a living? if I can ask", " I make youtube videos and I also make some music on the side!" he says. you two talk for a little longer before you check the time seeing its quite past what you had planned. "hey it was great meeting you! I don't want to stay too long so I think I should get going!"

as you say goodbye and walk away you feel him grab you by your wrist, you turn around. "wait don't go yet, your the most interesting person I've spoken to today and I don't want to go home just yet" you bite your lip, "fine, how about I just walk you to your car then". he rolls his eyes, "is that all? anyways I don't even have a car, I came with uber"

"wait why did you take an uber?", you say confused, "do I really have to say". "yes", " okay, I can't drive.. happy?" you scrunch up your face, you don't feel comfortable letting him go home with an uber this time of night. "I don't mind giving you a lift! then you can talk to me during the ride all you want"

you walked him to your car and he got in on the passenger seat, let me just say that convincing him to let you take him home was harder than you imagined, but you could see in his face he appreciated it.

"why are you doing this again?" he asks as you start driving. "because I'm a nice person and I don't trust ubers". he nods, "I like your piercings" he says, observing your face in the dim lighting. "thanks!" you say as you stick out your tongue, showing your snake eyes. "oh shit I've never seen that in person before, it looks great". you blush slightly, "it was pretty painful and it's hard to upkeep but I don't regret it at all".

he brushes his hands through his hair, probably anxious from the small talk. "this might sound weird but, do you have a girlfriend" you ask. "I don't, why?", "it's because I figured that if u did she would be the one driving u home from a party, so I was just curious". "haven't had one in years", he says leaning back. "really? your really hot so I'd imagine girls would be all over you".

he laughs, "maybe in the past but not anymore, my sense of fashion and my lack of confidence kinda makes getting a girlfriend hard" he says, opening up to you effortlessly. "I think emo guys are hot" you turn and look at him.

"what are you implying?" he says, giving a lewd grin. "that if I had the choice to either have sex with you or not have sex with you that I would". you notice him squirm slightly in his seat. "if you mean that, pull over" he says

you do as he says and you climb into the back seat. you crawl into his lap and find yourself grabbing and pulling on anything you can find as you feel his tounge slip deep into your mouth, tasting the alcohol he had ingested that night. you wish you could recall the rest but you were much drunker than you thought you were and ended up slightly blacking out.

the moral of the story is that you gave him your number, and he never came back after that. not a call, not even a single text. you never ever hooked up with guys, this was your first time. and you hate how knowing a guy for just one hour could make you feel such strong feelings towards him, for johnnies case those feelings were a mix of lust and disgust.

back to current times, you ended up meeting jake a year later and that's when you saw johnnie again for the first time since that night. but instead of apologizing or at least being honest he instead found himself ignoring you. this frustrated you the most, you despise a man who cannot own up to his actions, let alone not even acknowledging them. every time you found yourself around him you felt your blood boil and you just wanted to give him a peice of your mind, but you can't.

you can't since it's been 5 months since and neither of you have said anything at all, 5 months of pure pretend. jake noticed your dislike towards his roommate but he didn't want to get involved in any issues that didn't require him, which you appreciated greatly.

after a lot of convincing, jake did eventually get the both of you to film a video together with him. it was one of those food rating videos and the goal was to order one type of food for everyone, jake said that I will do the drinks, johnnie the main and jake the desert. you were dreading this.

and you have been dreading this day for the past month since jake started bringing it up. you couldn't even handle being in the same room as him for a few minutes let alone a whole video.

"let's plan what we will order now so that we don't have to think to hard tomorrow!' jake says as you sat down on the couch next to him and opposite from johnnie. "I already know what I'm making you guys eat", "let it be actual food and not just chicken nuggets please" jake says jokingly. "knowing johnnie he will probably poison mine" you say with a scoff. a few minutes later jake started getting a call from someone and had to leave, aka leaving you alone with johnnie.

"why would you say that?" johnnie said to you the moment jake left the room. "say what?", "say that I'd poison your food, it's rude". you laugh from the pure nerve this guy has. "don't fuck with me, don't act like your the victim here". "says the one starting unnecessary shit". " I'm not starting anything, you started and I'm just continuing". the tension in the room was cut as jake walks back in, "sorry guys that was my studio, anyways where were we!" he looks between the two of you and johnnie gets up and leaves, saying he's not feeling well.

that evening you sat down in the passengers seat of jakes car, you breathe in and out meditatively to calm your nerves. "okay everything is orderd we just gotta wait for the food!" jake says climbing into his seat of the car and started prepping for the recording. you fiddle with your rings and move around your hair for a solid 12 minutes before johnnie got in the car with the food in hand.

the video started off fine, you didn't laugh at his jokes and he didn't laugh at yours. you two didn't even make eye contact, that was untill it was jakes turn. "okay guys for johnnie I got him a really massive chocolate chip cookie because hes a basic bitch and I got y/n a gummy lunchable because she's never had one" you laugh since the idea for having gummy pizza seems so obscure. "jake that's so wrong you know I love lunchables". jake turns to you as if implying you should give him a piece.

"I rather not" you say softly, but not soft enough to where johnnie couldn't hear you, "it's literally just a lunchable what's your problem". " I never said I had a problem, it's not my fault you don't have manners and can't ask for something yourself". "I literally just said that I love lunchables, stop starting shit were recording".

jake turns around to face the both of you, "what the fuck guys, what's your problem", you look at johnnie, "ask him". " you guys are acting like fucking toddlers either tell me what happened or just sort your issues alone, like now" he says as he gets out of his car, "there's no point in keeping on filming so let's just go inside okay".

you go inside and sit down and you feel as if your in the third grade getting detention from your angry teacher Mr Webber. "so.. what happend, you two have been like this since the moment you met and I don't understand, y/n, johnnie,I love you both so much but I can't handle this bad energy", you stay quiet and so does johnnie. "okay if you guys are going to be like that I'm going to my room, just please sort something out because I promised our fans we were doing a collab". he says walking off into his room.

you bite the inside of your mouth and look around, not able to handle the awkward silence. "johnnie I just have to ask you one question, why?" he makes an upset face, "what do you mean 'why'", " you know what I mean" you say in almost a defeated tone. you stand up and walk towards where he is sitting, "I mean why didn't you text me back, why did you ghost me" he looks away. "don't be a coward please, im tired of our crap". upon hearing this he stands up.

"fine okay, I'm a fucking coward. I was too scared to message you back because I was drunk and you were drunk and I knew for a fact that nothing would happen between us because I mean look at you, your gorgeous and I know if we somehow started something in the future I would feel so guilty that we hooked up the night we met, I've only ever had sex with two people y/n!! that's you and my ex and I feel guilty for it every day because sleeping with random people is not me!!"

your feel as if your in shock, almost frozen in place. you brush your hand through your hair about to say something but nothing comes out. "I never met to hurt you at all I just, I'm stupid I'm fucking st-" you cut him off by putting your lips on his, he doesn't push you away and instead takes his arms and grabs onto you tight while pushing you against the nearest wall. "I sware I'm not usually like this" he says, breaking the kiss,"you just.. do something to me"

'fuck' you mutter as you grab onto his hair as the kiss becomes more and more passionate. he takes his hands off the wall and starts to remove your baby tee, exposing your lacy black bra. as he did this you hear something behind you and look to see jake, his mouth dropped right to the floor. johnnie immediately stood in front of you to cover your exposed skin and when he heard jake walk away he helped you put your shirt back on. "I'm so sorry" he says with the most guilty look on his face.

"shh don't be it's okay!" you say holding his face and giving him a soft kiss, "I definitely overreacted to everything because of how much I liked you, it hurt me so much that someone I felt so strongly about could shove me aside like you did". " I haven't gone a day without regretting what I did" he says. you felt so relieved that this issue between you two was finally sorted out.

"what now?" you ask, indentifying the elephant in the room. "its my turn to say sorry I shouldnt have kissed you like that it was impulsive and careless of me".

"y/n". " yes?", you ask completely confused. "I've never met someone I've wanted more then you in this moment, I want you and all of you" he says walking towards you and holding your waist, "let's not torture each other as we have, please" you smile "I'm all yours".

❣

[neteyamssock]

Not so bad, after all.

╰┈➤ PART VI.

pairing: agedup!Neteyam x Fem!Metkayina!Reader

summary: when neteyam and you met each other for the first time, they were overwhelmed with feelings they have never felt before.

word count: 2.5k

tags: violence, fighting, crying... (idk what else, please tell me if I left something out!)

a/n: unedited! rough draft straight from gdocs. i promise i'll revise this series once i finish it huhu. feedbacks is very much appreciated! thank you very much 😘💜

text divider credits to @/enchanthings

masterlist

part v | part vii (end)

It was one bright morning when you visited Ronal’s marui, seeking her out. Although the older woman was surprised that you were actively seeking her, she didn’t think too much about it and let you in. The tsahik and olo-eyktan’s marui is the largest marui in awa’atlu, the most intricate and grand, with decorations that represents the couple’s authority in the clan. You roamed your eyes inside and remembered how aonung would often say that once the two of you mated, he’d build one bigger than his parents’ marui.

Your stomach flipped at the thought. You know he doesn’t love you, but unlike you, he’s ready to settle if it means his parents would be happy.

“Why look for me, girl? Is there a bottleneck in your learning?” She beckoned you to sit in front of her, busying herself with her weaving. You didn’t fail to notice the changes in her stomach. The babe in her womb is growing, and its beginning to show in her body.

Noticing your gaze, a small smile graced her lips fleetingly before returning to her usual stoic expression. Caressing her stomach, she good-naturedly said. “You’re also going to experience pregnancy when you mate with my son. So it is good that you’re taking observations.”

You felt your throat getting blocked as you fidgeted, feeling of dread overturning your previous calm thoughts. When you didn’t respond as optimistic as she expected, Ronal’s eyes narrowed. “Why show such a look? Are you perhaps against the idea of getting pregnant right after mating? That’s fine. Both you and aonung are still young—”

“It’s not because of that, Tsahik…” you forced yourself to speak up, afraid of meeting her gaze. You saw her finally put down what she was weaving and looked at you with a scrutinizing gaze. You can feel her sharps dissecting you, trying to see through you.

“Then what? Speak up. Perhaps I could give you some solutions for whatever’s bothering you. This must be the reason you sought me out, am I right?”

You bite on your lip so hard it hurts. Your hand was clenched tight, you wanted to flee. Your resolve is crumbling bit by bit. It’s no secret that you are afraid of the Tsahik. You knew her ability, and knew what she could do. For a moment you considered backing out, but Neteyam’s face appeared in your mind, reminding you what you must do.

And you must do it now. Now, or never.

You never wanted to mate with Aonung. From the moment you learned how to think, you just saw him as a brother. It never once crossed your mind that you’d mate with him, even when your grandfather arranged you with him. Instead of facing the truth, you pretended the arrangement wasn’t real and cowardly hoped everyone would change their mind. Everyone seemed content with it, it was only you who cannot accept it.

“...I came here to express my desire to break my arrangement with Aon—”

“PREPOSTEROUS!” 

BANG!

A small stone jar broke into several pieces in front of you. One grazed your cheek, causing it to bleed. It stings, but perhaps the pain in your heart was a lot stronger. You closed your eyes when Ronal pulled you to stand up roughly.

“What are you saying now, child?! Have you lost your mind?! You cannot easily dismiss an arrangement you worked hard for so many years!”

Before you can even reply, she pushes you roughly, making you stumble a few steps back. You can no longer control your tears as the Olo-eyktan, Aonung, and Tsireya came charging in the marui.

“What is causing all these commotions, Tsahik?” With a loud thunderous voice, the olo-eyktan questioned. At this moment, everyone noticed the commotion and was watching with confused eyes. Aonung and Tsireya were looking at you and Ronal back and forth, trying to decipher what could have led to these confrontations. You cannot look them in the eye, feeling ashamed.

Ronal sneered and pointed at you, voice shrill as she said. “This foolish girl wants to break her arrangement with Aonung! An arrangement approved by great mother Eywa!”

You can hear gasps and murmurs of your clansmen, looking at you with unapproving eyes. You almost wanted to laugh. Eywa’s will? No. The great mother would not be so cruel. You are also her child, she would not force you in a loveless arrangement, would she?

In your peripherals you can see Aonung bowing his head, clenching his hands into fist. You cannot see the expression he’s making, but you know he’s furious. At you, maybe. Tsireya was trying her best to not cry, looking at you with a sympathetic gaze. It makes you feel better, giving you air to breathe. You avoided her gaze and looked back at Ronal and Tonowari with defiant eyes, even more resolute in your decision.

“Is this true, ____?” Tonowari’s jaw tightened, his gaze held disappointment and disapproval.

“Yes, Olo-eyktan. That is true.” You were surprised at how calm your voice is, the conviction in it so palpable as if you have finally found your voice after all those years of being mute.

Tonowari closed his eyes, trying to control his temper while Ronal got even more furious. “Girl, it would do you well to remember that it was your grandfather who begged us for this arrangement! How ridiculous of you to throw all that away for your nonsensical whims!”

You understand Ronal’s anger. Of course she’d be furious, all those years of preparing you to be the next Tsahik would be put to waste, and she’d start all over again. But you’re done with always thinking about others. Of putting everyone’s happiness before yours. At least at this moment, you want to be selfish. You want to choose yourself, even if it means hurting others and yourself in the process.

“Indeed, it was my grandfather who begged for this arrangement. All he wants is to make me happy, but I am not happy, Tsahik. I have finally gained confidence to say that this is not the path for me, and Eywa can bear witness. All those years I remained silent, but I can no longer do that. Not when—”

“It’s Neteyam, isn’t it? You wanted to break the arrangement because you have fallen for an outsider!”

You froze, staring wide-eyed at Aonung as he did the worst thing he could ever do in this situation. Bringing up Neteyam. You knew things would get far more complicated once Neteyam got caught in the issue. All this time you’re treading carefully, hoping not to get Neteyam involved, but Aonung just has to ruin it for you.

“That’s not—” 

“I’ll kill him!” Aonung ruthlessly pushed Tsireya away when she tried stopping him. As you were about to run after him, Tonwari pinned you at your place with just his gaze. You could only shoot Tsireya a begging look before standing back in place. Tsireya shot you a small supportive smile before running after aonung.

“You have fallen for the Sully boy? Don’t try to lie, child. I have watched you grow up, like you’re my own child. So you must tell us the truth.”

“ABSURD! I knew taking in that fam—”

“Tsahik you must calm down, you are with a child.”

Ronal scoffed, turning around in anger. She refused to look at you. Perhaps too disappointed to even spare you a glance. 

You have no choice but to admit it. “Yes. I wish to be with Neteyam, but it is not the only reason why I want to dismiss the arrangement. I do not see Aonung as anything more than a brother. It would be unfair for Aonung if I force myself into this arrangement without my heart in it.”

“My son is will be an excellent man, I'm sure you'll learn to adore him when he becomes a man. You—”

“My decision is final. Begging the Olo-eyktan and Tsahik to consider my plea.”

Tonowari regarded you with a searching gaze. He had always known you as silent, reserved, and obedient. Someone who would immediately follow orders in silence. At this moment, he’s seeing you in a new light. Seeing your determination and sincerity, he waved his hand. “Are you certain of this, _____? Once you let go, you can never get it back.”

You smiled, appreciating Tonowari’s care for you, but you don’t want to go back. Not when freedom is near, almost within your grasp. “I am certain, Olo-eyktan. I will stand by my choice until the end.”

Ronal sneered at your words, glancing at Tonowari, telling him to wake you up from your delusions, but Tonowari avoided her gaze. Instead, he said to you, “I’ll give you an answer soon, but you must tell your grandfather of your plan yourself.”

“Tonowari!” Ronal shrieked, but Tonowari only motioned you to leave as he said. “Leave us, I’ll talk to the Tsahik.”

So you did. With your heart singing in joy, you ran towards Neteyam’s marui, only for your excitement to turn into horror as you saw Aonung being held back by others and Neteyam standing in front of him with bleeding lips.

“You!” Aonung’s furious shout immediately caught everyone’s attention. He was heaving, anger so palpable that everyone quickly backed away from him, afraid of attracting his ire.

Neteyam was standing in front of their marui when he saw Aonung charging at him with a furious expression. His eyes narrowed and was about to ask what’s his problem when Aonung approached him and...

SMACK!

“Woah woah woah! What are you doing?!?”

Jake immediately pulled Neteyam behind his back as Neteyam’s ears buzzed, cheek and the corner of his lips stinging. Aonung had slapped him hard enough for his head to turn. Hearing the commotion, Neytiri, Kiri, Lo’ak and Tuk had also emerged from the marui, standing behind Jake and Neteyam with sharp eyes. Seeing Neteyam’s bloodied lips, Neytiri hissed at Aonung. 

“You fish  lips! How dare you hurt my brother!” Lo’ak angrily shouted, planning to teach Aonung another lesson when Neteyam pulled him back. Although unwilling, Lo’ak shook his head and glared at Aonung as he stepped back. 

Neteyam gave his mother a glance, telling her he’s fine and he can handle it. Although worried, Neytiri took a step back and took Kiri and Tuk’s hand into hers,  allowing Jake and Neteyam to take control of the situation. 

It is clear to Neteyam what that slap meant. The reason why Aonung is so mad at him, as if ready to murder him any second. It was your face that appeared in Neteyam’s mind, your promise to him in your secret place. He closed his eyes and let out a laugh, joy filling his heart instead of anger. The pain in his cheek faded. It’s all worth it, because Aonung’s presence here only means you have made your move and fulfilled your promise to him. 

Neteyam’s laughter seems to provoke Aonung as he begins cursing, trying to hit Neteyam. Jake on the other hand looked at his oldest son, incredulous. Did he just laugh after getting slapped?

“This is between me and your son, Toruk Makto! He must fight me!”

“Dad, let me handle this. This is something I must do.”

Jake’s jaw tightened, when Neteyam motioned for him to step back, he hesitated. Neteyam had to urge him again before he stepped away, still worried about Neteyam. 

Neteyam stood face to face with Aonung, chin held high as he regarded that other man, not afraid to meet his furious eyes. “Let’s talk, brother.”

“I am not your brother!” Aonung hissed as he delivered another slap, but Neteyam dodged it easily. Seeing him unscathed, Aonung launched another hit but Tsireya had also arrived, pulling Aonung back with all her strength. “Aonung, stop! You must not resort to violence!”

“Let go sister! I must teach this kurkung a lesson!”

Tsireya cried out when Aonung accidentally elbowed her. Lo’ak seeing his girl being hurt, almost went forward again, but was glared at by his mother. Seeing Tsireya struggling, their clansmen finally regained their senses and held the flailing metkayina successor. Aonung hissed angrily at his captors, regretting that he lost focus a moment for hurting his beloved sister.

Finally held down, Aonung was no longer flailing as hard as before, but was still glaring daggers at Neteyam. The latter merely wiped his lips with his hand, not caring about the sting, seemingly in cloud nine.

“Tell us boy, what is the reason for your anger? What did my son do to get such a reaction from you?” Neytiri’s ears were pinned back, tail swishing side by side. She's displeased that her son got hurt when they didn't even have a clear idea of what warranted that slap. 

Aonung huffed, pointing at Neteyam with a vicious snarl. “He stole my mate! He stole ______ from me!”

Silence. For a moment, the breeze and the waves are the only noises that can be heard, before everyone breaks into a myriad of reactions. Jake closed his eyes as he groaned, feeling a headache coming. Neytiri merely sighed, having been aware of her son’s relations with you. Kiri muttered up a few “what the fuck”, Lo’ak nudging his brother with a triumphant grin, and Tuk who looked a bit confused.

Neteyam cleared his throat. “Aonung, calm down and listen to me. She’s not your mate yet. You haven’t made tsaheylu before Eywa. She also told me that you do not desire each other, and are merely fulfilling your duties to the clan. Now that she wants to dismiss the arrangement, you must respect her ideas. Whether it's me, or any other man, you must allow her to choose.”

Aonung sneered,  shaking his head as he started laughing uncontrollably. Tears began falling from his eyes as he stared at the sky. Whispering he said, “What does she even know about what I feel for her? She knows nothing! You hear me? She knows nothing!”

At this moment, Neteyam’s chest tightened. A sense of foreboding from the depths of his mind. His doubts that he tried to deny began surfacing again. “What do you mean by that?”

Before Aonung could say anything, you came running towards Neteyam’s side, shaking as you examined him all over. When you saw the bruise on his face, the tears you have been trying to control fell freely. Pain eroded your heart as traced his wounds with your fingers.

Seeing you, the panic in Neteyam's heart settled. He held you close in relief as he said, “I’m fine, ocean girl. Do not cry, for it makes me want to cry too. Shush, I’m fine.”

Looking at his solemn eyes, you nodded and took a deep breath. You wiped your tears and turned towards Aonung. He wasn’t looking at you, tears still falling from his eyes. It hurts you to see him like this, for Aonung has never shed tears all his life. You hurt him. You betrayed his trust, broke the promise the two of you made. 

But it must be done.

Walking towards him, you took his hands and held them tightly. It made him look at you, but you cannot read his eyes. “Aonung, I know what I did is something that cannot be easily forgiven. I threw all the grace that you and your family had given me, but I know in my heart that I do not regret what I did, and will never regret it for the rest of my life. I just want you to understand.”

He stared at you for a long while, taking in your features. You looked at him with pleading eyes, hoping he’d understand where you are coming from. 

“You’re so selfish, ______.”

“I’m sorry, Aonung. I truly am.”

“I do not need your apologies, _______. A broken trust cannot be mended by simple apologies.”

Wrenching his hands from your grasp, he pushed everyone away, not once does he ever look back. You stared at his back and sobbed as Neteyam took you in his arms silently, warm hands cupping your face as he wiped your tears with his thumbs.

“Hush now, ocean girl. We're still far from being done. You still have to face my family.” He teased, smiling at you as he pressed a kiss on your forehead. 

“Shut up, skxawng. I’m having a moment and you ruined it.”

Laughing, he shrugged. “I can’t just watch a pretty girl cry y’know? Makes me want to cry too.”

A/N: screaming crying punching kicking— ahhhhh last chapter remaining! this series has a lot of holes i have to mend after i finish the last chapter. but it's a rough draft so it's expected. anyways, feedback is very much appreciated! thank you very much, mwah!

[spinningwebsandtales]

Imagine Worrying About Santa The Night Before Christmas Eve

Nicumond the Red/Santa Claus x Fem!Mrs Claus Reader

Rating: T+

Warnings: Suggestive themes

Word Count: 800

(A/N:) Finally watched Violent Night this year and I didn't realize how much I needed David Harbour's Santa in my life. I feel like I've been a very good girl this year! XD Sooooo I had to write something! This idea wouldn't leave me alone and it's the perfect time for it! So enjoy my fellow David Harbour fangirls and Merry Christmas! Until next time happy reading! ~Countess

The house was quiet while all the elves worked tirelessly to prepare for the big night. Santa always made sure to get plenty of rest before his Christmas Eve run and while he'd been doing it for so long now, you couldn't help but worry. Especially since he'd been showing telltale signs of burnout. You couldn't blame him as it seemed like children weren't as appreciative or thankful as they used to be. You tried to explain that things changed over time but you knew deep down he still enjoyed doing his job despite the complaints. Your heart ached and the stress of the eventful day looming ahead kept you from sleep. It didn't help that Santa was snoring loudly in your ear. You brushed his cheek and snuck from the bed. When you had nights where you couldn't sleep, you would bake, read, or anything to help calm your mind. But your favorite place to unwind was the stables. Being surrounded by the reindeer in the cozy stable, it had an affect that no other did.

Slipping on a comfy robe and rubber boots, you trekked across the snow covered ground. The crunch of snow under foot and the tinkering of elves in the surrounding buildings made you smile. It was when you opened the stable doors to see 8 fuzzy noses and 8 sets of curious warm eyes did your shoulders finally relax. You didn't want to bother Nicomund, he had enough to worry about and if he knew how you were feeling because of him. The guilt would eat at him. So you opened the door to Prancer's stall and let yourself in. The reindeer nuzzled your hand looking for treats. As always you had a pack of graham crackers in your robe pocket and all the reindeer knew it.

"You can't be greedy," you whispered. "Everyone will get one. Not just you Prancer."

The reindeer shook it's head munching happily on the treat while you grabbed a brush and began to stroke it across his coat. You lost track of time before the barn doors opened once more and Santa called out your name.

"I'm in here," you answered. You knew it wouldn't be long until he started looking around for you. For some reason your husband had the uncanny ability to know when you were sleeping or when you were awake. He leaned over the stall door.

"Leaving me for the reindeer now," he asked a teasing gleam in his eye.

"They do smell better sometimes," you replied pocketing in the brush and giving Prancer one more quick pat.

"Traitor," he glared at the reindeer. Only Prancer nodded before ignoring you both completely to go munch on more hay. Santa stood up letting you exit the stall and as you closed the door back Nicomund stepped closer pinning you against the wood.

"Is everything alright," he asked cupping your cheeks with warm hands.

"I'm fine."

He shook his head, "Right. You only disappear when something is bothering you and you always come to the barn when you're worried about something."

"You a mind reader now," you retorted.

"No," Santa shook his head. "I just know my Mrs. Claus really REALLY well."

"I'm worried about you. That you're losing the joy that this season once brought you. The children used to bring you so much happiness and now I don't think you can find one good thing about what you do anymore."

Your heart was breaking and Santa could tell that you were on the verge of tears. He wrapped you tightly pulling you close to him.

"You don't have to worry about me. I'm sure I'll find that happiness again I once had when I first started doing this," Nicomund kissed your forehead.

"You think so," you sighed leaning in closer to him.

"No."

"Good to see your confidence is intact then," you snorted causing him to chuckle.

"Now I only have so long left with you this evening before I have to go. So will you please come back to bed? You may love the reindeer but I promise that I can keep you much better company," he cooed.

"Is that a promise," you teased.

He nodded and you laughed. Santa leaned down giving you a deep kiss, laced with lots of promises. A few seconds later you and Nicomund were walking back to the house hand in hand. Talking about everything and planning on the time you both wanted to spend together once Christmas Eve was finished and all you could do was look forward to that time you got to spend with him. Back in the cozy house, Santa swept you up in his arms carrying you back to your shared bedroom where he deposited you back onto the mattress making you grin.

"Merry Christmas Mr. Claus," you whispered, kissing him softly.

"Merry Christmas Mrs. Claus," he replied kissing you right back.

[inkspiredwriting]

Endless Day

Five Hargreeves x Fem!reader

Warnings: none

Five Hargreeves woke up one morning to find that the day was repeating itself. No matter what he did, every night, the day would reset, and he'd wake up to the same morning, in the same bed, with the same tasks awaiting him.

It wasn't long before he realized that he wasn't alone in this endless loop. Y/N, a woman he'd only met in passing before the loop started, was also aware of the repetition. They crossed paths at the same cafe every morning, where she seemed just as bewildered by the situation as he was.

The first few loops were frustrating. Five tried everything he could think of to break the cycle: he traveled to different locations, interacted with different people, and even tried not leaving his room at all. Nothing worked. Each time, he would wake up to the same day.

One morning, as he sat at the cafe, head in hands, Y/N approached him with a tentative smile. "Looks like we're stuck in this together."

Five looked up, surprised but grateful for the company. "Yeah. I'm Five, by the way."

"Y/N," she replied, sitting down across from him. "Any theories on why this is happening?"

Five sighed. "Not yet. But we have all the time in the world to figure it out, apparently."

Days turned into weeks, and what started as a mutual struggle to understand their predicament evolved into something deeper. Five and Y/N spent each day together, exploring the city, sharing stories from their lives, and delving into conversations that lasted hours. They found solace in each other, a rare connection blossoming amidst the repetition.

One day, as they wandered through a park, Five turned to Y/N. "Have you noticed that no matter what we do, no one else seems to remember anything from the previous day?"

Y/N nodded. "Yeah, it's like everyone else is reset, but we remember everything. It's both a blessing and a curse."

"More of a curse," Five muttered. "But maybe there's a reason why we remember."

Y/N's eyes sparkled with curiosity. "You think there's something we're supposed to do? Some lesson to learn?"

Five shrugged. "Maybe. Or maybe it's just a cruel joke."

As the loops continued, they began to test theories and push boundaries. They tried altering their routines in significant ways, hoping to trigger a change. They sought out experts in various fields, but each morning, those experts forgot the previous day's conversation.

Despite the frustration, Five found himself looking forward to each new day. Y/N's presence was a constant source of comfort and joy. He admired her resilience and her ability to find humor even in their predicament.

One night, after yet another unsuccessful attempt to break the loop, they found themselves sitting on the roof of Y/N's apartment building, looking out over the city.

Y/N sighed, leaning against Five. "Do you ever wonder if maybe we're supposed to just... live in the moment? Appreciate what we have right now?"

Five looked at her, a smile tugging at his lips. "I think I've learned more about living in the moment with you than I ever have before."

Y/N smiled back, her eyes softening. "You know, if we have to be stuck in an endless loop, I'm glad it's with you."

Without thinking, Five leaned in and kissed her. It was gentle and sweet, a culmination of the bond they had built. When they pulled away, they both felt a shift, a subtle change in the air.

The next morning, Five woke up, expecting the same routine. But something was different. The sun seemed brighter, the air fresher. He rushed to the cafe, his heart pounding with hope.

Y/N was there, waiting for him, a smile on her face. "Good morning, Five."

"Good morning, Y/N, nice to see you again." he replied, relief flooding his system. "I think... I think we did it. The loop is broken."

Y/N nodded, tears of happiness in her eyes. "We found a way out."

They spent that day savoring every moment, knowing it was truly unique. As the sun set, Five took Y/N's hand. "Whatever the reason for the loop, I'm grateful for it. It brought us together."

Y/N squeezed his hand. "Me too, Five. Me too."

Together, they walked into their future, no longer bound by the endless repetition of a single day, but free to create new memories and live a life filled with love and endless possibilities.

[an-angel-in-the-garden]

Hello everything is fine? If requests are still open can I request headcanons (aizen, komamura and zaraki) x fem!reader? The reader being a vampire and having the powers of Alucard from Hellsing? Thank you in advance.

Things have been up and down ya know. Hope things are going well for you? My requests are still open and this was a fun one to get. I don't think I've written for Komamura? Either way, mixing some of my favorite things is always a good time. TW: blood and death talked about, unhealthy relationships and talks of bad treatment towards reader 

Aizen

Aizen is perhaps the worst person to be with as a vampire unfortunately but is anyone surprised

Look, he's capable of learning to love but it's a slow and hard process that sadly means you suffer more then he will....to start

He wants control of everything starting with when and what you eat along with how much you get

His blood, wonderful tasting as it is, is only ever a treat for good behavior and more often than not you get espada blood

This will continue for as long as he doest fully trust or care about you

Fights are a common during this time but the longer you choose him, the longer you stay and fight back the more he softens and opens up

Though it takes time Aizen does eventually see why his actions are wrong and though he won't regret them he does change and aim to make up for it

Fresh blood from kills he got for you, his own blood straight from his arm or neck if you all are feeling cuddly and plenty of gifts

He thrives on watching you thrive, of seeing you smile and revel in being full and able to exist without worry

A power couple in the most dangerous sense of the words not to be taken lightly yet so happy to merely be around each other even if the road to get there was rough 

Komamura

An absolute sweetheart who will do his best to make you feel accepted no matter your past or problems

Komamura understands what it's like to be so different and knows first hand that it can be hard to trust others so he wanted to reach out to you

Though he doesn't fully understand all your needs and will struggle to understand he wants you to tell him everything so he can help

Will have Unahana draw his blood so you can have food, his squad is willing to do the same one you become friends

One of the things he greatly appreciate about your skills is the ability to melt into the shadows, he doesn't want you to have to fight and this method can keep you safe

Trains with you whenever you ask and is happy to help you learn or overcome any trouble

You being a vampire really doesn't change anything to him, Komamura sees you as person separate from anything else

So long as you want to protect people and have good morals that's enough for him, you accept him and he accepts you

Kenpachi

Kenpachi is weirdly the best person to be with as a vampire and he's proud of it

Need food? That's find he was in a fighting mood anyway, he can hunt for you if you want or better yet just drink from him

It's the same for if you're ever worried about losing control or just need to explain some energy Kenpachi is more than happy to fight you and keep a close eye on you

He defends you from the others who think you’re untrustworthy or dangerous, really you're no worse than him

To everyone's amusement you both have this line of thought that you've tamed a beast in one way or another

Really Kenpachi is just so proud to say your his lover and for so many reasons that no one can really argue with him on it

Will want to fight you sometimes ya know to test "your strength and make sure your not holding back too much"

Gets really jealous if you drink from anyone else, even a blood bag but won't admit it, the only exception to this is if its a kill he got you

Overall he's fine with it there's nothing about it that bothers him and he encourages everything you do, feral or not he's here for it 

Hello everyone~ I am back from a rather unexpected break. To make a long story short, a lot happened recently, most of it not good but getting better. I even started a new job that I've been enjoying so far. I want to write again though so I finally sat down and got this bad boy done. The next thing will feature a favorite character of mine that isn't even on my writing list so just know it's happening. Have a good day or night and thank you so much for your support. Lilly~

[slytherinshua]

IM SO EXCITED YOU DONT EVEN KNOW!!! AGAIN, CONGRATS!! ITS ALL WELL DESERVED AND IM HAPPY I CAN BE HERE AND WAYXH U GROW BC!!! IR TALENT SHOULD BE APPRECIATED!!

now to the req…. hehehe….. let me tell u how excited i was when i saw you’re taking k-dramas KMG!!!! so obv…

YUL FROM AOS!!! yul my beloved he’s such a cutie patootie– anyways… fluff: 39, 53 and other: 30!! idk i just feel like it suits him!!

MASTER YUL

genre. fluff. master x pupil trope. warnings. kissing. spoilers for aos ig? its not rly set in any particular episode but park jin is still the leader of songrim so i'd say loosely around ep 10-12. pairing. seo yul x fem!reader. wc. 2.1k. a/n. ahhhh axe tysm for requesting smth for yul 😭 our baby 🫶 i kinda got carried away with this and then didn't proof read it so idk how good it is lol but i had fun writing it!!

“Give me one chance. I can hold my own in a fight. I will do anything it takes.” You pleaded, practically begging at the steps of the training centre in Jeongjingak. 

People from low class families, and especially women were never accepted into Songrim Jeongjingak. Everyone in Daeho knew that, and you’d have to be a fool or stupidly brave to try to say otherwise. You were probably both given that you were standing by the doors of the training centre at the moment, your slightly scuffed up clothing and long hair giving you no favours. 

You wanted to blame your father for your current situation, but since he was currently cold in his grave and you respected him too much, you didn’t let your thoughts wander in that direction. 

He had always insisted that you needed to know how to defend yourself, starting at a young age. After years of burdensome training, you started to finally feel the rush and satisfaction of a fight. After years of complaining about the lessons your father taught you, you finally wanted to learn spells. You wanted to use the energy inside your body. You desperately wanted to feel like you were useful, powerful, capable. 

You excelled in all the ladylike areas, from sewing and needlework, to gardening, to singing and dancing thanks to your mother. But they were all just so boring. Your habit of spending your entire day in the public library reading all the books on spells started when you were 14. It only grew over the next few years until your father knew you wanted more than he could offer you.

He wasn’t a highly skilled mage, and in his lifetime had not needed to progress beyond Jipsu, the ability to gather the energy of water. You had mastered that years ago and had progressed to tackling the skill of Ryusu. You tried hard to master it on your own once your father taught you all his lessons, but it was a near impossible task.

You needed a master, but none would accept you as their pupil. After almost every master in the country turned you down for various reasons, you turned to your last option - Songrim.

Face to face with Lord Park, one of the most renowned mages in the capital, and the current leader of Songrim, you held your head high as he refused your pleas.

One look at you had him and the other mages glaring you down and shaking their heads with disapproval. They wouldn’t even give you a chance. Dozens of remarks were thrown at you. You let them pass through one ear and out the other, not letting these men get the chance to see you turn away defeated. You were already risking your pride begging them, but you wouldn’t leave without being able to showcase your skills first. 

“You really think our masters would waste their time and energy on a girl like you with no potential?” One rude young mage sneered, and you bowed your head further, finally feeling your blood boil with rage. You gripped your sword tight enough that your knuckles turned white, resisting the urge to unsheathe it and hold it to his neck. 

I have more potential in my left pinky finger than you or any of your ancestors have had for the past 300 years, you whispered under your breath in spite, making sure it wasn’t loud enough for him to hear it.

You were unaware of a party of mages returning to the training centre at the moment, and the one leading the way seemed to have picked up on what you were mumbling. He stood next to you, a slight smirk playing on his lips as he glanced at you.

“Cha Beom is an asshole, but I wouldn’t waste your words on him.”

You glanced to the side, surprised that someone was taking your side. As you looked him over, you were sure you had seen him somewhere before. His face was fair and handsome and his clothes were neat. He looked pristine and well-mannered, but more than anything, he looked like he stuck to the rules. He was probably the last person you pictured sticking up for someone like you. You also thought that the word ‘asshole’ didn’t fit coming from his mouth.

“I’ll spar with her. If she can beat me, let her train here. If she can’t, then I’ll train her myself.” The mage said confidently. Your eyebrows furrowed at his brazenness. Wouldn’t he get reprimanded for speaking such an outlandish thing?

But he didn’t.

You watched as Lord Park sighed and waved the young mage off. An older man, Master Heo, started to protest, but upon Lord Park’s clear disinterest in continuing the situation, he was silenced.

“Do what you wish with her, Yul. Train her yourself.”

The mage smiled at Lord Park and bowed before turning to you, “So, Y/n. Let’s see those skills, hm?”

“How do you know my name?”

“I know a lot of things.” He remarked.

“Do you really have what it takes to train me? Aren’t you just another mage at Jeongjingak?” You questioned with uncertainty, earning a scoff from the young mage. 

“You don’t know who I am, do you?” He asked in disbelief. 

“Should I?”

He nodded, “Let me explain it. I have always been the top student at Jeongjingak; I mastered all the books, reached Chisu in a short amount of time, and people always come to me when they need help. That is me, Seo Yul.”

“Ah… I see. You’re smarter than you look, then.” You concluded, walking forward.

Yul paused, eyes blinking and head turned to the side in thought, “Is that a compliment for my intelligence or an insult for my looks?” He called out to you, making you turn around again.

“It was meant to be neither, though I suppose you are… decent.”

“Decent?”

“Mm… Your looks aren’t exactly my style, but even I can’t deny that you’re not too bad.” You continued, smile widening every time his face further scrunched in confusion. Teasing him was more fun than you thought.

“Is this how you’re going to treat your new master?” 

“Why? You don’t like it?”

“You’re just very… blunt.”

“I’m sure you’ll get used to it, Master Yul.” 

Yul’s eyes widened slightly, the formality of the new name was far from the regular “Young Master Seo” he was used to hearing. Hearing it from you brought him some strange satisfaction and warmth. It was strange.

//

Yul was a hard master to please. More often than not, you felt like he was disappointed with you because he always kept a straight face. He always forced himself to hide his affection for you for fear that it would distract from your training, which frustrated you. You clinged onto the moments where he let his true emotions shine through just a bit. The lingering stares and little smiles— from those small moments you were sure that he was actually a warm person, and not the cold, strict master like he appeared on the outside. You just needed to find a way for him to break the facade. 

Because he was so skilled himself, impressing him only happened once in a blue moon. You tried your best, and improved quickly under his guidance. He would train you rigorously every weekday after his own training at Jeongjingak. Usually you would be by the river, using the rough and difficult terrain to your advantage. It definitely helped with your dexterity and swiftness. After just a few months, you had mastered Ryusu.

The bright smile on Yul’s face when you were finally able to gain energy from the water was one you would never forget. He even laughed a bit, and you swore you were happier about making him happy than progressing in your training.

Your love for teasing Yul never went away. His expressions were just too adorable to make you want to stop, and you felt that they gave him a small break from the pressure he was under as the eldest son of the Seo family. 

You were thinking about all your little habits you had picked up around Yul, when it hit you. How you felt that warm fluttering feeling in your stomach when you saw him smile, and the heat crept onto your cheeks whenever he had to touch your hand to show you a proper placement for a spell. That wasn’t a normal master-pupil thing. You liked him. 

As you packed up your supplies one late night by the river, his perfect face kept flashing in your mind. His cute smile curving on his lips like when you mastered another spell, the subtle curve of his nose, the plush berry colour of his lips, the softness in his eyes. He was truly one of the most pure humans you had ever come into contact with, and your adoration for him only grew everyday. 

“Stupid, stupid, stupid.” You scolded yourself under your breath. Now that you were aware that you were in love with him, how much harder would it be to go to training with him? You were sure you were going to be flustered and tripping your own two feet the next time you tried to work on your spells with him.

“Who are you calling stupid?”

You flinched and turned around, seeing Yul sitting in one of the trees by the bank, watching you pack up intently. 

“Myself. Why’re you still here?” You asked, cheeks heating up when he jumped down from the tree smoothly and crouched down next to you to help you pack the rest of your things.

“Because my pupil is still here even though the sun has already set long ago.” He said, a smile playing on his lips but he suppressed it like always. His hand moved to pick up the bottle of medicinal herbs you had to put in your bag and his fingers brushed against yours, your cheeks heating up even more at the action. In a panic, you realised the moon shining down on you was just enough light for Yul to pick up on the colour of your cheeks. You silently cursed him for noticing every little detail about you.

“Wait… Are you blushing?” He asked with uncertainty. You backed away slightly, whispering a hushed “no” and hoping he would drop the subject. You weren’t used to this side of him, and your nerves grew every time his face inched closer to yours. How was he always so calm and collected while able to make you so flustered?

“Let me check your breathing technique, Y/n.” Yul said quietly, hand gently resting on your stomach. You looked up at him with wide eyes, breathing in short fast puffs. You saw his lips stretch into what looked like a smirk. “Your breathing is completely off. What did I tell you about practising it even when you’re not training?”

“I… I’m sorry. I must’ve… forgotten.” You mumbled, mind spinning as you wondered why his hand was still touching you.

“Do I need to remind you more often?” He asked, head tilting as he looked at you fondly. You stayed silent, wide eyes staring into his like he had put you in a trance— as if you were incapable of looking away.

Your eyes moved faster than your brain as they flickered down to his lips for a split second. If your brain was able to make a sound, it would be screaming at you right now. Why the heck would you do that? There was no way Yul wouldn’t catch on to it. You’re screwed.

You couldn’t think or even breathe when you saw him leaning in, eyes blinking closed until his soft lips finally met yours. Your cheeks burned as you kissed him back. You couldn’t think about anything but him - the feeling of having him so close, your hearts racing in sync, him pulling you closer by the waist. Your hands moved on their own, gently carding through the soft hairs at the back of his head until he eventually pulled out, still holding you close.

You caught your breath and calmed your racing heart, whispering a soft, “...Did you just kiss me?”

“Yes.” He smiled. You wondered when he got the power to steal all your confidence.

“Can you… do it again?” 

“I didn’t know you liked it that much.” He smiled, eyes glimmering, moonshine reflecting off his face, "I guess my looks are a bit more than just decent?" He teased as he leaned in once more, pressing another soft kiss to your lips.

[wwinterwitch]

training session – loki

summary: after odin assigned you the task of training with loki, you discover a new side of the god of mischief pairing: loki x fem!valkyrie!reader word count: 5.1k warnings/what to expect: SMUT +18 (MINORS DNI), dom/sub dynamic, dom!reader, sub!loki, teasing, making out, dry humping, oral (f receiving), pet names, very light mention of choking, hair pulling, praise, humiliation, riding, p in v sex, unprotected sex (don't do this!) author's note: first loki fic i've ever written i'm just so excited to share this with y'all i hope you like it!!

a reblog and/or comment really helps me out as a content creator so thank you in advance if you take the time to do either!

all masterlists | marvel masterlist | read on ao3

Loki thought it was insulting the way his father suggested he needed more training. That he's relying on magic too much and that'll somehow make him forget the basics of combat.

Evidently, he thought it was pure nonsense. He won't forget how to combat if he uses his powers. Besides, shouldn't he take advantage of his abilities if he has the chance to use them? It's just ridiculous.

Oh, but that's not all. Because this is exactly what Loki means when he says he's Odin's least favorite. His father doesn't seem to care in the slightest that this is quite literally (in Loki's sometimes-a-little-too-dramatic mind) dooming him to a fate worse than being trapped in Helheim for the rest of his days. It was upsetting to hear his father doubt his skills, but what's even more insulting is that you are his designated teacher to help improve what in his mind needs no improvement at all.

The dislike you and Loki have for one another is no secret to people around you. Ever since you befriended Thor back when all of you were kids, he has despised you for reasons completely unknown to you. And even after all this time he still has a particular disgust towards you. At first you really tried to be his friend, but eventually stopped trying. By the time you two were teenagers, you started to stand up for yourself rather than trying to ignore him or stay quiet, which inevitably made things worse between you.

Your enmity persisted over the years, him trying to ruin your life with his silly jokes and you beating his ass when you found out he was behind it all. You can still vividly remember that time he almost ruined your chances to finally become a Valkyrie (something Loki knew was your lifetime dream) and the satisfaction you felt after punching him right in the nose before telling him he failed.

He should be appreciative. It's not like most people can say they've received combat training from a Valkyrie, yet he didn't seem to think that's anything special. It's just humiliating. He doesn't need training, especially from you.

"This is a waste of time," he said right before starting your training, flashing one of his usual charming smiles that never fails to get him what he wants.

"Let's see what you can do and then I'll decide if we're wasting our time," you quickly replied, an ironic smile adorning your face.

He didn't like you. Not one bit. He dislikes the way you just smiled at him, your condescending tone, the way you're standing as you wait for him to try to do something that would count as training. You act like you know everything and he hates it.

And after the way you're behaving, why bother with being gentle? It was as if his disgust for the way you continue to grin and behave as if you're better than him completely blinded him, making him forget he's about to fight with a skilled warrior. There's nothing you can do better than this.

It was evident you'd skillfully dodge his attacks with the sword he was holding, managing to distract him shortly after to lightly tap one side of his body with your weapon, indicating that if this was a real fight he'd already be dead.

"Doesn't look like a waste of time to me," you remark jokingly.

He tried very hard not to roll his eyes. "That was pure luck."

"Want to go at it again, my prince?"

Loki didn't reply, taking a few steps back from you, holding his weapon tightly, silently counting the seconds until his next attack.

Eventually, he launched forward and you once again dodged it, but before you could tap his side again he continued his attack. You kept defending yourself with ease, but were unable to attack just yet.

To make him think he was doing a good job, you let your guard down so he could get rid of your sword, the weapon quickly falling to the ground. Loki smirked, slowly putting down his own as he looked as if he just won the biggest fight of his life. It wasn't just a physical combat anymore, not to him at least. This is about proving his power, his honor, how he doesn't need this stupid training.

But his victory didn't last very long since you were able to grab the sword and take it out of his hand, aiming it at him. The look on his face almost made you laugh out loud.

"Looks like you do have a lot to learn."

Loki barely cared to flash an ironic smile your way before taking two daggers out to continue the fight. You stood in front of him, sword in hand, challenging him to do anything.

He was about to launch forward when you pushed him back, making him lose balance and giving you the perfect opportunity to tackle him to the ground, immediately straddling him to keep him on the ground. The daggers fell to the ground next to you, and so did the sword a few seconds later when you dropped it.

You looked down at Loki with yet another sarcastic grin. "There it is. You concentrate so much on the attack, you don't care about the defense. Looks like we're not wasting time after all."

"I don't need someone to teach me that."

"Sure you don't," you muttered. "Look. With all due respect, my prince, I'm not particularly enjoying my time here with you either."

"Oh?" he says. "I'm sorry, am I the one who's insisting on having these training sessions? As if there's actually something that you could teach me."

You continued to straddle his lap, thinking to yourself all the things you could say back to start an argument that could go on for hours. However, you decided to be professional just this one time.

Instead, you lean down so your face could be closer to him in a threat-like manner. Loki's smirk completely disappears as you did. It was impossibly rewarding seeing even the slightest hint of him being intimidated by you, especially when he's underneath you on the ground.

He attempted to set himself free, immediately staying still when he felt the slight wiggle of his hips inevitably made him grind against you. You tried to act unfazed by it, even though you can't deny you very much felt the movement of his hips, his lower stomach brushing against you.

Trying to ignore it entirely, you finally spoke. "The Allfather asked for me to help you. I'm just doing this because I couldn't say no to him."

Loki smirks after your last words. "I thought Valkyries were tougher than that."

"Clearly, I am. That's why you're on the ground right now."

"Like I said, it's pure luck. I'm still waiting to see something actually impressive from you," he insisted.

"I could say the same thing. I'm not the one who just got defeated twice."

"Yeah, but I'm not part of Odin's shield-maidens. Aren't you supposed to be the best warriors out there?"

You scoffed. "I could stop going easy on you if that's what you so desperately want. I'm pretty sure you won't be able to handle it, though."

"Try me," he offered.

"Fine."

You were about to stand up when you felt his arm wrapping around you, keeping you in place. "No," he mutters, a swift movement of his hand directed towards the door as the sound of a lock makes you understand he has used magic to lock the doors of the room you were in. "Show me."

To say you were shocked would be an understatement. Is Loki really hinting at what you think he's hinting? Did he really just locked you both in this room and is currently expecting you to do something about his proposition now?

And what was even worse about the situation is that you weren't exactly repulsed by the idea. You couldn't deny he's very attractive despite being extremely annoying. Besides, having him underneath you and having entire control of the situation does make you feel good, better than you would ever want to admit. Both things combined certainly sparked your interest.

The thought of the two of you doing a lot more than training almost made you want to grind your hips against him before he opened his mouth again.

"Unless you're not up for the challenge?" he added, his characteristic smirk never fading. "I understand if it's a little too much for you."

"Shut up already," you say in annoyance, leaning back down so you could make sure he stays quiet by kissing him.

Kissing Loki felt explosive, thrilling, exciting. Like something you never thought you'd ever do, and it actually feels a little odd at first because of it. But he's such a good kisser that you quickly forget all about it.

The way one of his hands immediately tangled in your hair while the other rested on your hip only encouraged you to deepen the kiss. You were pleasantly surprised when you heard him humming against your lips when your tongue made its way inside his mouth.

Maybe by mere instinct, he used his hand still holding you to push your hips further back, needing you to be on top of his bulge as you two continued to make out. Of course you wouldn't complain about his insistence, adjusting yourself on top of him.

Both of you express how good that slight change in your position felt. You did it by softly moaning against his mouth while he moved both of his hands to your ass, immediately wanting you to start grinding on him. He was certainly needy.

Even when you are more than okay with his actions, you had to pull away from him just enough to give him a warning. You couldn't help but notice his entire expression has changed, no longer looking at you like he's ready to argue with you about anything you had to say. Instead, his eyes were soft and his mouth was slightly agape, looking up at you almost as if he wanted to protest because you're not kissing him anymore. Like a spoiled little kid who just got told he can't play with his favorite toy anymore.

Quickly, you took both of his hands to move them away from your body, grabbing both of his wrists to put his arms above his head, using one of your hands to keep them in place. You heard the faintest and quietest sound coming out of his lips, but you could easily tell he absolutely adored the gesture.

"Enough of that now," you say. You very much enjoyed him wanting to guide your hips, but it's you who should be in control right now. "You let me do the work, okay? Can you stay still for me?"

Loki nodded eagerly. "Yes, of course. Just– can you move already?"

Just to tease him, you gently rock your hips up and down. His reaction was just the best sight you've ever witnessed. How he closed his eyes and let out a soft grunt he was holding back. Soon enough, his eyes snapped back open when you stopped. "Now, that's not how you ask for things. Am I supposed to teach you some manners too?"

As if things couldn't get any better, you noticed his cheeks turning a light shade of pink after your words, and you could also feel his cock hardening even more underneath you.

"Please move," he says with obvious embarrassment.

"That's better."

With that out of the way, you leaned in to continue kissing him while you finally started grinding on him. The feeling of moving up and down his length, even with clothes standing in the way, was only encouraging to move faster. Still, you didn't want to rush things, so you tried your best to rock your hips in long, painfully slow motions for as much time as you could.

Your hand that wasn't holding his above his head moved over to his neck, applying just enough pressure. He seemed to also appreciate that a lot.

The kiss was broken again as both of you needed air. Loki looked so good under you, eyes dark with desire and lips swollen from making out. You could see the desperation in his features because you were still moving way too slow for his liking.

"Please," was all he said, frustration evident in his voice.

"What is it?"

"Can't you move any faster?" he snapped before realizing he probably shouldn't use that tone. "I'm sorry, can you please move faster?"

The fact that he was trying his best to keep it together and obey your previous instructions was almost too much to handle. If all you needed to get him to stop being an asshole was fucking him, you would've tried that a long time ago.

"Well, you did ask nicely," you point out, to which Loki immediately nodded in agreement. He looked so...pathetic trying to get what he wanted. Deep down you were enjoying this a little too much.

Your movements gradually increased in speed, which forced more moans and grunts out of both of you. Loki's hips matched your movements and you let him have that little satisfaction because it just made everything feel a thousand times better.

Your hand left his neck so you could kiss his skin instead. He titled his head to give you all the space you needed, and you heard his loudest moan yet when he felt you sucking on a particular soft spot just below his ear. Will you try to leave a mark just so he can see it later? Absolutely.

"I wonder what else I can do with you," you whisper after leaving a nice purple mark on his neck. "I have a few ideas. I'm sure you'd love each and every one of them."

Loki turns to look at you, completely at your mercy. "I'd like to be able to touch you, if that's okay," he says, hinting at his hands still restricted. He could easily get rid of your grip if he wanted to, but the thought of getting your permission seems to be far more important to him.

"Don't worry, you can do a lot more than that."

You give him a short kiss, smirking when you realize he wanted to lean in closer to kiss you for longer, but you didn't let him. Instead, you move away from him to stand up, unable to keep your eyes away from his erection. You haven't seen him properly, but he definitely looks as big as he felt.

Loki quickly accepts your hand to help him stand up. Despite him being considerably taller than you, he felt insignificant next to you. Not moving without your permission, speaking only when you expect a reply, following your every move.

He has silently renounced even the tiniest amount of control and gave it to you instead.

You guide him to one side of the room where there was a couch big enough to fit both of you. It'll be a lot more comfortable than staying on the floor. Before doing anything else, you wanted to hear confirmation of your power over him one more time.

"You'll do whatever I tell you, right?" you ask, gently caressing his cheek with the hand that wasn't holding his. He practically melted under your touch, nodding. "Manners, Loki."

"Yes," he quickly says. "Yes, anything you want."

The smirk on your face grew after his confirmation. "Good," you give him, and that simple word was enough to get him all excited like a little puppy. "Oh, does the prince enjoy being praised?" you asked teasingly while you let go of his hand, only to start getting rid of his cape and the upper part of his outfit.

He was quiet for a second as he let you undress him. "Yes..." he timidly confessed. It was still amazing to see the God of Mischief acting so shy and submissive with you.

"But you also like it when I'm mean to you," you say more like a statement than a question this time, getting rid of his clothes except for his pants and boots. "That's why you're always looking to start a fight with me," you insist, gently tracing the muscles of his arms with your fingers. "You just love it when I put you in your place."

"Like you don't enjoy it too," his usual self shines through for a second, though his eyes remain as soft as ever.

"This isn't about me," you quickly warned, taking a seat on the couch. "We better keep you quiet before you get too comfortable and decide to open your mouth again," you added shortly after, quickly pointing at the floor in front of you. "Kneel."

He looked taken aback at first, knowing you were clearly making fun of him. The smile on your face made that very clear. "What?"

"You heard me. Kneel." His cheeks were burning red at this point, but he still got on his knees in front of you shortly after you spoke. "Good boy," you let out as soon as he obeys, pulling him in for yet another kiss.

He gladly accepts your kiss, both of his hands resting on each of your thighs. You capture his lower lip with your teeth before you pull away entirely, making him squeeze the flesh of your upper legs in response.

"How about we put your mouth to good use, darling?" you offered, and he immediately looked like he just won the biggest prize.

Loki noticed you were about to stand up to take your clothes off, but he quickly stopped you. "If I may?" he asks, and you comply by staying seated.

A gasp left your mouth when he made all your clothes disappear with the snap of his fingers, sitting completely naked before him from one second to another. "That should be considered cheating."

"I prefer to think of it as a way to optimize our time together," he smiles, and despite wanting to argue you simply let it be. "You can't blame me for it," Loki quickly adds, gently pulling your legs apart, looking up at you to examine your face. He wouldn't want to do anything that you don't approve of. "I've been hoping for this moment to come from a very long time," he added, his fingers caressing your inner thigh.

You were undeniably surprised to hear that, considering he was supposed to hate you before this. "Oh, so you've thought about me naked?"

"Maybe," was all he offered, but the answer was obvious. "Don't let that get to your head."

"Of course it will," you replied. You were enjoying that little back and forth so much that you almost forgot you shouldn't entertain him. "Are you going to keep talking or you're going to finally fulfill your little fantasies about me?"

"I wouldn't call them–"

"Oh, just shut up already," you cut him off, grabbing a fistful of his hair as you pull him close to you once again.

He's gladly surprised by your roughness, enjoying every second of it. Maybe that's exactly what he wanted to achieve by talking back so much. He kissed you for a few more seconds before he pulled away and started to move further down your body.

You're sitting at the edge of the couch by the time he's further opening your legs, looking up at you one more time before he immediately gets down to it.

He was more than satisfied with the moan that you let out as soon as his mouth made contact with you. He immediately started to quite literally devour you as fast and eagerly as he possibly could, his tongue exploring up and down your folds before he would take his time sucking on your clit.

Being loud and messy was clearly the last of his concerns. He looked like a hungry beast that hadn't eaten for centuries and you were his favorite type of prey. The obscenely loud noises, the speed of his tongue and mouth, and the way he keeps looking up at you only made the sensation even better.

Your moans increased as you quickly gathered all of his hair in a ponytail so it wouldn't get in the way, occasionally tugging on it whenever the feeling of his mouth would be too much. It was clear to you he absolutely loved having his hair pulled at this point. One of his hands was still gripping your thigh while the other moved up to your tits, taking his time massaging each one while his mouth continued his vicious attack on you.

He looked so desperate and eager, you couldn't help yourself from teasing him again. "Look at you now. Maybe I should keep doing this to keep you quiet for once," you say in between moans. "My prince can't shut up unless his face is buried between my legs?"

He moans against you, the sensation making you grip his hair even tighter. To say he was doing a good job would certainly be an understatement. His tongue would meet your hole while his nose rubs against your clit before he moves up again, taking his time to suck on it. He's absolutely hypnotized with your pussy, it's impossible not to stare at him as he hungrily eats you out.

"Fuck," you mutter, the feeling being too much for you at this point. "If you keep it up like that, I'll come so hard all over that pretty mouth of yours."

The idea of it seems to encourage him even more. He's using both of his hands to keep your thighs in place now. His eyes keep looking up at you, almost pleading for you to come already. Like silently trying to ask how close you are and if he's doing a good job.

Loki kept looking at you, and you felt the need to praise him for all he's doing. "You're so good– making me feel so good..."

He kept licking and sucking like that's what he was made for, his digits firmly pressed on your skin. It was a matter of time before you reached your orgasm, starting to desperately move your hips in order to reach that climax you so desperately crave.

You squeeze your eyes shut and you have to practically bite down on your hand so you wouldn't scream out in pleasure when you feel it, shoving his face impossibly closer to you. He gladly lets you suffocate him between your thighs, finally slowing his pace as he carefully licks up and down, allowing you to climb down from your high.

He kisses your inner thigh before finally moving back from you, giving you enough space to stand up from the couch as you recover all your senses. His hair is a complete mess and half of his face glistens with your juices and his saliva.

You hum against his lips when you roughly pull him in to kiss him. As soon as your lips smashed against his, you move your hands down to start working on unzipping his pants.

Loki was able to step out of his boots and pants as soon as that piece of clothing was falling to the ground. You continue to kiss him as you palm him through his underwear, smiling against his lips when you hear the sound that leaves his mouth when you move your hand inside the last piece of clothing remaining on his body, wrapping your fingers around him. You began masturbating him in a painfully slow manner, noticing his frustration and need growing by the way his grip on you tightened.

His hips began rocking just enough in hopes you'll get the hint he wants you to go faster, which made you pull away just to ask "what's wrong, my prince?" in a fake concerned voice, like you had no idea where his distress could be coming from.

"I want you to go faster, please," he says, cheeks flushed once again.

"You're an eager little thing, huh?" you mock him, and he has no other choice but to agree with a quick nod. You earned one of his loudest moans yet when you tease the head of his cock with your thumb. He practically whines when you're no longer touching him, your hand gripping the edge of his underwear instead. "How about we get rid of this and you sit down for me?"

Loki did exactly that, waiting for you to take off his underwear before he sat down, looking up at your eyes before he inevitably wandered down your body, staring at each and every part of you.

That excited puppy look was back when you took a seat on top of him, pumping him a few times before you aligned him with your entrance.

He leans his head back as soon as he starts feeling the tip of his painfully hard cock meeting your wet core, slowly starting to stretch you out. However, he's soon adjusting himself to look down in between the two of you, not wanting to miss a second of it. With every inch that disappeared inside of you, it was becoming harder and harder for both of you to control the urge to roughly fuck the other.

You really didn't want to rush it, enjoying the way he was slowly filling you up. And the look on his face as you sink down his length has got to be the hottest thing you've seen in your entire life. His eyes were darker than ever, but still managed to look so incredibly soft as he's allowing you to take as much time as you want, even when it's killing him.

Eventually, he was completely inside you. That's when you finally allowed yourself to lose control, immediately starting to move up before sinking back down. He was certainly not expecting you to speed things up just then, letting out a groan as he squeezes your ass, helping out with your next movements.

You hold onto his shoulders as you continue to ride him, speed only increasing, his cock repeatedly hitting that sweet spot inside you that only encourages you to keep going, craving your second release already.

"Don't stop," Loki grunts, looking more desperate than ever. "Please, don't stop..."

Both of you were practically a moaning mess at that point. You were pretty sure the grip he has on your ass will leave some kind of mark, but you couldn't care any less.

You let out a small cry when you feel yourself closer and closer, feeling your body all sweaty against his already, riding him like your life depended on it. At the speed you were going, it was a miracle you've been able to keep it up until now.

"You like how good it feels to stretch me out?" you ask with a smirk, enjoying how much of a mess he is right now.

"Yes..." he gasps. "Feels so good– you're so...so tight."

"Better than any of your daydreams about me, I'm sure," you mock him, earning another pathetic moan from him. "I'm close. Are– are you?"

Loki let you know he's almost there as well with a desperate nod. "Should I-?"

"No, no– fuck, no," you quickly say before he can finish. "I want you inside me."

Needless to say, he absolutely loved the sound of that. "Say that again?" he pleaded. You can tell he's barely able to keep it together anymore, his muscles tightening and his brows furrowing just enough.

"I want your cum so deep inside me," you moan.

"Shit," he practically growled, the tight grip on your ass being almost painful at this point, but you were loving the feeling on his fingers marking you skin while you're fucking him so deliciously.

"You'll have to wait until I come, though. Can you do that for me?" you ask, earning nothing but a nod. "You've been a very good boy so far. I'm sure you can use your words."

"I– yes, yes! I'll wait until you come."

"That's more like it," you grinned, trying to keep it together. So far, you're holding on a lot better than he is. "I bet you're liking this training better, huh? Me bouncing on your cock and you trying not to fill me up until I allow it."

Loki was only able to let out a series of desperate sounds, the wait for his release feeling painfully exquisite. You were making sure he remembers who's in control, which is only sending him closer to the edge.

"Next time you start being an asshole I should just– fuck– just shove your cock in me to keep you entertained. Doesn't matter if someone sees, right? I bet everyone will be thrilled to see this God begging for me," you continue, hearing him practically cry out in pleasure because your words while he's stretching you out is just too much. "Pathetic little boy, that's what you are."

"Please, I– I can't...anymore. Can't hold it," he cries, sounding completely wrecked at this point. "I need...need it...please."

"Say what you are."

"Mmm– I'm a pathetic little boy..."

"That's right," you praise, feeling your own orgasm rapidly building up. You still have no idea how you've been able to keep it together for so long. "If you want me to come, you have to ask for it. You can come right after me."

"Please give it to me...please, darling– need to feel it...please, please, please, please, please..."

His continuous pleas were just too much for you to handle, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him impossibly close to you as your orgasm erupts, sending shivers down your entire body as you moan out his name, trying your best to muffle your sounds against his skin.

It took him no time to come as well, his grunting and moaning filling your ears. He closes his eyes and hides his face in the crook of your neck as he enjoys the sound of your voice desperately calling out his name and your walls squeezing him impossibly tighter.

The two of you ride off your orgasms, gasping for air. Sweat adorned your bodies as you continued to hug onto him, your entire weight resting on him as he gave his last few thrusts. You could feel the way he was filling you up, loving every second of it.

Loki let out a sigh, completely exhausted. When his thrusts stop, you move away just enough to be able to look at him. Cheeks red, lips parted, sweat all over and his black hair a complete mess. You move a hand up to fix his hair a little after having one of the most incredible fucks of your entire life (if not the best).

He leans in closer for a kiss and you didn't stop him.

"You know, I think I was wrong about training," he jokes right after pulling away. "We surely have to do this more often."

"Agreed," you nod. "But I really need to teach you some defense techniques first. Respectfully, you're awful at that."

"Don't push it," he warns, which inevitably makes you laugh.

"Fine," you comply. "By the way, I'll need my clothes back at one point."

"Oh, I almost forgot about that," he confesses. "I'll give them back to you, don't worry. Just– a few more seconds," he says, as if his arms still wrapped around your waist and his cock seeded inside you wasn't enough indication that he clearly wasn't in a rush to leave.

You rolled your eyes at his words, but didn't argue with him about it. You wrapped your arms around his neck again and decided to stay there with him. After how great that was, he surely deserves the cuddle.

[linorachas]

*chuckles*

One more poly STAY here, the one with Bin and "Marry me" ask.☺ I'm Yulia (or Julia, if you prefer it Western) or Gro.☺

Well, I also have huge brainrot about polyamorous fic with ot8 for three months right now, and it's kind of magic reality AU, where fem!reader is STAY and have unusual powers, so to say. Not like she is Wonder Woman or Hermione, but more on urban witch and urban fairytales side.

The story begins at New Year Night (because I'm a sucker for winter holidays miracles). Reader is in relationships with another urban wizard, who shares with her with his abilities as a gift, but a new appearance and powers are her choice and hers only and unlimited money, because it's self insert Mary Sue, basically, and who I am to deny it and also it's always been her lifetime desire, dirty secret and guilty pleasure.

She sleeps and has a dream...like in "Inception", with changing reality and such. It's her favourite place in the city, winter night, a beautiful snowfall, she finally gets what she has dreamt about and finally in peace with herself, and suddenly hears Chan's voice cautiously but curiously asking who she is. She turns around and here are our kids, all of them, looking at her with huge shock and surprise. And here it is, the second holiday miracle.🎄🎆

"I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship". (c)😊

I'm sorry for such a long message but I just need to share these thoughts with somebody who understands and shares the same kinks preferences.😅

I don't want to be a burden to you and others with this story and possible quantity of my requests, so if it's not OK, just say and I'll try to hold on this delulu mode.😅🥺

(Also, a moment: I'd like to send a gratitude but Kofi, Paypal, Patreon, Carrd and others are blocked in my country, because...reasons. So...may be a Boosty account? It has English language, and I've seen Sims 4 modders using it. But it's just an idea, you're completely free to refuse, of course).

hello yulia!! that's such a cool elegant and unique name :o

and waaaaah, i think that's a beautiful premise!!!! very curious as to why it's a dirty secret omg.... what are the kids doing at her favorite place... will they go on adventures... what about the bf MSKZKCJDS

but yes alas i am so stumped with requests m i haven't even made a dent i think so i cannot take this in ;-; but also.... i feel like i wouldn't do it justice though? like you've been thinking about it for three months already... is it ok to ask why u haven't started writing it yourself? :o i just really feel like you'd do a great job of bringing this premise to life!!!!

and AAAAA thank u so much 🥹 unfortunately i tried making a Boosty acc but couldn't link my bank acc 😞 thank you so much though i really appreciate the thought 😞😞❤️❤️❤️