#I think that that's why I love ISTTVG

[confused-disaster32]

i wanna write horror or stories with almost horror like themes or scifi themes about being trans not particularly because being trans is something horrible and terrifying but bc there's something to me about the ideas of stuff like being trapped within ones self, about experimenting and making things beyond human comprehension, about tearing apart a human, about sometimes tearing apart something that others have deemed 'beautiful' (even if you have not), about looking into a void, about coming out of something changed to your very core that resonates with me on a deep level as a trans person and to me reflects on my own thoughts and experiences whilst I was figuring out my identity

[isopodonanescalator]

Tell me ur thoughts about isttvg!!!!!!! Have you watched it????

YES YES YES I HAVE WWTCHED IT!!! its so good also i wanna start out by saying that 1) this is going to be a long rant apologizing in advance and 2) it’s been a long time since i watched it so idk how well this will be

putting a cut so not everyone has to read this all cuz it’s a lot😭

OKAY SOOO

umm one of my favorite things i find so inch resting is how Owen repeatedly breaks the fourth wall and talks to the audience like he doesn't believe the tv show was anything more than a tv show...but he knows he's in a movie? idk it’s either a plot hole or maybe like a writing choice that i don’t get??? idk man

ALSO ALSO ALSO as a film nerd the use of colors to communicate how Owen feels is SOO AUDJAOSOKE the one i noticed the most was blue, like theres lots of Blue on the screen when he's at the fair with his mom, on the walls at his work, and i some other scenes too but i’m not sure which ones because. yeah

also this isn’t really anything but in the first act, Owen tells Maddie on the bench that hes afraid of opening his insides and i think it was pulling them out with a shovel(?) only to find nothing.. and then at the very end is him opening his insides and getting that beautiful vision and i guess like. self-actualization kinda ffeeling. you know like. like feeling like whatever you want to do with your life is nothing and being afraid that youre truly hollow and all along you were delusional about your dreams which is why you should never commit (this is just a thought i always have whenever i think about this movie. it’s not really anything but like idc)

also i think she says something like, "don’t apologize" and that stuck with me regarding the ending. he keeps saying sorry just over and over and over again to these people who don't even see him or they just ignore him. to me that was like while he did have a moment of clarity, he did what he had always been doing. the whole thing like if you don't think about it isn't real? if that makes sense? he took like. a figurative step back and apologized, even though he had nothing to apologize for that was really sad tome

when the movie ends he says something like “i’m dying” or whatever and i feel like that’s a metaphor of what happens when you suppress who yo are for so long? idk

OMG AND "i found my heart, oh my god Isabel i found yours too. it was still beating. stored in an industrial freezer." GOOSEBUMPS GOOSEBUMPS GOOSEBUMPS! NEVER FORGETTING THAT LINE EVERRR

anyway that’s all i can coherently get out rn, this movie is. it’s just such a violent wake up call to be yourself and i love it so so so muchhh >.<