#I think technically he can stop illegal mining operations but not the idea of it broadly

[fights4users]

You think Tron is devastated he shares a name with a cryptocurrency? 🧍‍♂️ identity theft isn’t a joke.

[aethelar]

I'm sitting in a lecture and dying of boredom so i had this idea: what about Graves finding a puppy or some other animal and keeping it a secret from Newt to teach the cute animal some tricks to show Newt something special in the end. Maybe Newt finds out early and acts he doesn't know or he can't help and adore his boyfriend trying his best but Graves has a hard time because that damn cute thing won't listen.

Technically, Graves is called in because a crup is a magical creature, and while the laws are better now than they used to be, breeding beasts is still illegal.

Technically, Graves is required to alert the owner to this fact, check that they have the necessary permits for possession of the parent crups, and deliver a formal requirement for both bitch and dog to be neutered to prevent further litters.

Technically, Graves should walk away having assured himself that the puppies will be rehomed as pets and are not being sold for profit, traded for potions parts, or otherwise misused in a way that contravenes the articles of safe handling and creature protection.

Yeah, well.

Graves never liked technicalities.

"Do I what?" Tina asks again.

"A crup. Puppy. Do you want."

She blinks. "I mean, sure," she says. "I guess everyone wants one at some point in their life."

"Great." He holds his coat open to show the small furry occupants of his inner pockets. "What colour? You can have one of each if you like." The puppies stick their heads out; one is all white, two have the classic white fur and brown patches, one has a darker shade of brown-black in her patches, and the last little head almost entirely brown with an uneven white moustache over his nose.

Tina stares. Graves looks back at his pockets. One of the puppies is attempting to climb out, and there's a suspicious dark stain in the bottom corner of another pocket. "Please have one of each," he says.

Tina opens her mouth to ask if Graves is definitely Graves and not Newt in polyjuice, then thinks better of it.

"Why do you have crups in your coat?" she asks instead.

"And why are you fencing them like a shady pawn-shop thief," Delgado adds, butting into the conversation. Graves and Tina look at him blankly, so he mimes holding his own coat open. "Y'know. Wanna buy a watch? No? My humour's wasted on you guys. But for real boss, where'd the babies come from?"

Puppy two finally escapes the confines of her cloth prison. Graves catches her in a wandless levitation charm because his hands are full keeping puppies one and four from following her. She turns a somersault midair and starts trying to doggy paddle.

"Illegal breeder raid," Graves says. And, because technically that wouldn't result in him coming back with passengers, he elaborates: "They were farming them for the tails. I objected."

"By stealing five puppies?"

"Rehoming," he corrects. "I'm rehoming five puppies. Tina's taking two. Delgado, you have this one." He floats the still-swimming escape artist over to him, and she seems ecstatic to finally be moving forward. Delgado, suddenly with an armful of wriggle and tongue, is clearly also ecstatic, he's just a bit too blindsided to show it.

"Tina's what? When did I agree to that?"

Graves shifts his grip on puppies one and four, and deposits them on Tina's shoulders before she can stop him. She's forced to hold onto them to stop them falling, because crups have zero balance at the best of times and are exponentially worse as uncoordinated puppies.

"You didn't want Queenie to be left out," he explains, and turns sharply on his heel to leave. Three down, two to go. Easy.

By four o clock, all five puppies are back on his desk. Delgado is slouched in a chair, staring mournfully at puppy two. Graves shoots him a filthy look and refuses to feel sympathy for traitors.

"I'm sorry," Tina says. She doesn't sound particularly sorry. "But I wanted a crup when I was five. It wouldn't be fair to them - or to me - if I had one now. Besides, my landlady doesn't allow pets."

Delgado slumps lower in his seat. "Mine doesn't care."

"Yours is a no-maj."

Technically, amputating a crup's second tail was a harmless operation and recommended to allow them to pass as a non-magical terrier. Technically. Please see above for Graves' views on technicalities. Would you like a limb amputated so you could blend in? Graves thinks the fuck not.

He fights the urge to retrieve puppy two from where she's chewing on his budget report and hold her far out of harm's reach. Delgado, he reminds himself, is low-key terrified of Newt; even if he thought mutilating puppies was a good idea (which he doesn't, Graves has known Delgado for fourteen years now and he can safely say he's not a puppy-mutilator) he'd never risk it in case Newt found out.

"He still doesn't care," Delgado grouses, but he knows he's lost. No-maj landlords don’t accept magical pets, no matter how lenient they are. "And he's ancient. He probably can't see."

Puppy five - who, up till now has spent most of his time asleep - wakes up, looks around until he sees Graves, walks confidently in his direction, and falls off the edge of the desk.

He licks Graves' hand when he catches him and wags both tails.

"What if we kept them," Graves' mouth says with absolutely no permission from his brain, "but they stayed in the office?"

Delgado brightens immediately. "Lucky could be an office dog?"

"Sir," Tina says. She's pinching her nose. Graves agrees; this is a stupid idea, and he shouldn't have suggested it. He begins to say as much, but then puppy five yawns and curls into Graves' arms to go back to sleep.

"They're all being office dogs," he says instead. "I'm the head of department, I can do what I want."

Tina glares. Delgado beams and sweeps puppy two - Lucky, apparently - into his arms. Lucky chews the edge of his collar. Puppy five snuffles in his sleep.

Graves, technically, can't do what he wants unless he has Picquery's permission, but I expect you've got the idea about technicalities by now.

The agreement he hashes out with Tina is simple. (Why he has to hash out agreements with his own subordinates is beyond him, but her emotional blackmail techniques are top notch so he doesn't dare object.) Newt is away on a rescue mission business trip for another eleven days and seventeen hours - ish, Graves hasn't been tracking exactly how long it is, that would be pathetically love-struck. Which Graves is not. So, uh, Newt is away for a week or a month or some other length of time. This is the trial period. If the puppies are sufficiently well behaved and non-disruptive during their trial, Tina will support Graves when he asks Newt if the puppies can stay.

Newt, of course, will not allow the puppies to stay if he thinks they'll be unhappy as office dogs. This is important.

Newt will also not allow the puppies to stay if Tina tells him not to. This is also important. Pissing unfair, but important. Graves needs Tina on side.

Which means Graves needs the puppies to pass basic puppy training 101 and not - that's not, that's a negative, it means do the exact opposite please and thank you - crap in the lift.

Why were the puppies in the lift to begin with. The auror department is only on one single floor. Puppies. Get back here. Please. This is day four of puppies and coincidentally day four of cleaning up crap. Why.

"Morning, boss," Delgado practically sings, prancing into the office. Graves is attempting to teach the puppies what a treat is. He's read that crups are food motivated which means that they should do what he say if he gives them treats. The puppies’ view of should, however, seems to align with Graves’ view of technically, and training is going accordingly slowly.

"Lucky," he says, waving the beef jerky in her direction.

"My baby girl," Delgado coos, and Lucky scrambles straight past Graves and his beef jerky to throw herself at her person.

Food motivated Graves' ass.

"Lucky up!" Delgado commands, and Lucky - who so far has ignored and/or done the opposite of every single command Graves has tried - jumps excitedly up for Delgado to catch her and lift her above his head.

Something warm and wet closes over Graves' hand. He looks down to find puppy three looking up at him with big soulful eyes.

"Sit," he says, pressing her butt down with his other hand. She wags her tails at him and licks hopefully at the beef jerky. "Three. Sit."

Lick lick lick.

"You're calling him three? You can't still call him three. He needs a name, boss!"

"She. And her name is Three. These are her sisters One and Four, and her brother Five. C'mon, sit dammit."

Delgado drops into an inelegant sprawl on the floor, putting Lucky down in front of him. "Real names. Look - Lucky! Lucky sit, good Lucky!"

Lucky whines and tries to climb into his lap. So does Four, actually, and while a quick looks round shows that Five has decided to fall asleep with his head inside Graves' shoe (Graves loves Five but he has to question his intelligence sometimes), One is nowhere to be seen.

"Where's One?"

"Baby girl, c'mon. Sit, Lucky!"

"Delgado. Have you seen One?"

Delgado looks up from the tug of war game he's now playing with his shoelace. Lucky, Graves is quietly vindicated to notice, has not sat. Nor has Three, but that's because Three is nomming her way through a piece of beef jerky.

"Not since last night. Was she definitely with the others when you came in this morning?"

"Seeing as I brought them in with me, yes. Watch them, I'm going to look for her." He reaches for his shoe and gently tips Five out. The puppy whuffs and opens a sleepy eye, tails giving one lazy thu-thump against the floor.

"You brought them in - wait, you take them home with you?"

"Stay," Graves tells Five. Then, to Delgado, "They need to sleep somewhere, and I don't have a no-maj landlord to worry about."

He suppresses a grin at Delgado's squawk and leaves to find his lost ward. A quick point me for One doesn't pick her up - maybe there's something to what Delgado says about names - but a spell searching for crups in general oscillates between his office behind him and somewhere forwards and left.

Maybe tracker-stones in their collars? They don't have collars yet, but just think of all the protection runes Graves could fit on them. And health and longevity, maybe, if he can sneak them past Newt - Newt has a thing about not messing with nature and weakening bloodlines by making creatures rely on human magic, but c'mon Newt, puppies - ooooh, and storage runes, he could store water in their collars and teach them how to activate it with a paw so they never dehydrate on hot days, that's surely an essential one to include.

He's halfway through redesigning the basic collar strap by the time he finds One. (Not enough space on the normal ones. But if you replace the leather band with a sheet of leather carefully rolled into a band-like shape... 'course, then you'd need some kind of barrier between the layers to stop the runes interacting with each other, maybe back the leather with gold? Thick enough to keep the runes pure, thin enough that it doesn't interfere with the magical effects - and obviously it has to still be comfy to wear...)

"Tina," he says, only somewhat surprised. "You stole my crup."

"They're the office crups," she reminds him. "And anyway, Rosa's mine. You gave her to me." Rosa, pillowed in a paw-print studded blanket in the basket under Tina's desk, rolls her head to give Graves a smug upside down grin.

Graves hesitates, not sure if this is meant to be a test of some sort. Tina was the one who said he had to puppy train them.

"They're meant to stay in my office for training," he says, and his voice is very carefully neutral with no hint of hesitance. She can probably smell weakness.

"Rosa, heel," Tina says, reaching down and tapping her calf. One - Rosa - hops out the basket and trots over, mouth open and panting in delight.

How. How. Graves has been training the miniature hellions for four days now. Tina’s had Rosa for scattered parts of those. How.

"Besides," Tina continues, as if she hasn't just shown Graves up for the puppy-training failure that he is (he grew up with three dogs. How is he this bad) "You're hardly one to talk."

She gestures behind him with a tilt of her head. Graves looks back, then down, then sighs and stubbornly refrains from slumping his shoulders in defeat. "Five," he says, in what was meant to be a stern voice but comes out remarkably lacking in sternness. "Five, no."

Five wags his tails and lies down for another nap.

“I’ll bring Rosa back when I go home for the day,” Tina says, and Graves picks Five up and retreats to the coffee room in graceful defeat.

"Newt comes home tomorrow," Tina says, leaning against the door frame in a parody of nonchalance.

"Twenty eight hours and forty minutes," Graves agrees, not even trying to pretend he hasn't been counting. Tina, thankfully, isn't phased.

"So. Puppy training."

"Puppy training," Graves repeats. This is the test. The puppies have survived their trial period without being - too much - a distraction. Delgado's ability to do paperwork has taken a sharp dive, but the time he's spent in the training rooms has doubled so it evens out. One of the training dummies has started showing bite marks and all Graves can say is that Delgado teaches Lucky to fight dirty.

Rosa is, of course, sitting flawlessly at Tina's feet, tails tucked around her paws and head tilting as she follows the conversation. There is no question that she's passed puppy training.

Graves takes a breath and turns to Five, Three, and Four. "Puppies," he commands, then whistles and holds his hand low. Three and Four trip over themselves to come and inspect it. Five raises his head, divines that this is a training exercise and the hand is empty of treats, and drops his chin back on the carpet.

"Stay," Graves tells Three and Four, then holds his other hand out to the side and whistles again. Three almost - almost! - goes to it, but she remembers in time. Five continues to ignore it.

"You haven't used his name," Tina says; her grip is white knuckled around her elbow, and Graves can see Delgado peering anxiously over her shoulder. Lucky, he guesses, has already passed Tina’s test - but if Five can't pass then none of the crups stay. That was the deal.

"Five," Graves pleads, holding his hand out again and whistling. "Five, heel."

With a last, long suffering look, Five gets to his feet. He pads straight past the hand, flumps next to Graves' feet, and headbutts the heel of his shoe.

"I'll take it," Tina says instantly. "Fabulous. Done. Puppies are staying. Rosa, I think Queenie put bacon in your lunch, let's go."

There's a long, relieved pause as both Delgado and Graves slump to the floor. Three and Four wander over to say hello to Lucky, but Five wriggles his way up to Graves' hand and noses his head underneath.

"I can't believe we passed," Delgado says with a level of stunned that puppy training rarely warrants. "I can't believe you still call her Five."

"Him. Five is him. And Three and Four are Three and Four, so. Five is Five."

"Yeah, well. Now all we have to do is convince Newt to give us the ok and we're clear, right?"

Graves looks down at Five; the puppy has positioned himself directly under Graves' palm and is snoring quietly, tails wagging in an off-beat rhythm as he dreams.

He is, objectively, adorable. Newt will love him. "Right," he agrees with a faint smile. "Newt won't say no."

"No," Newt says. "They're never going to be office dogs."

Graves' perception of reality warps, and refuses to accommodate this new version of truth.

"Come again?" he croaks.

"Crups can't be office dogs," Newt explains. "They attach to specific people - they need homes."

They have people, Graves wants to say. Or - some of them have people. What would Lucky get out of a home that she doesn't get from Delgado? Is it the landlord issue? Graves will buy Delgado's flat. And Tina's. He'll be their landlords. Problem solved.

Newt must catch his expression because he makes an apologetic face. "Sorry, Graves," he says. "But... they're not right here. They're ok now, but when they're older, they'll be miserable." He gestures at where Three,  Four, and Five are currently inhaling their dinner at the feeding mat Graves has set up behind his desk.

A proper feeding mat, with bone-print bowls large enough to last them through to adulthood because Graves thought they might stay that long. But if Newt says it's not where they'll be happy...

He looks down at Five and swallows his protest. "Oh," he says. "Well, we can look into rehoming them, unless you have something else in mind?"

Newt smiles. "Rehoming is good. I have some ideas for where to put them if you can't find anyone, but if you have homes in mind then that's great."

Dinner finished, Five glances up to check if Graves needs anything. He must pick up on the mood because he expands his check to cover the whole room, and trots up to sit guard by Graves' chair.

It's single handedly the most painful thing that's ever happened to Graves. If it’s best for Five that Five goes then Five will go, but for Graves’ sake, couldn’t he be a bit less perfect and a bit less devastating to say goodbye to?

"You have to tell Tina and Delgado," he says to Newt, unashamedly wimping out of passing on that news. "Fair warning, Delgado will cry."

"Ok," Newt says dubiously. "Of... happiness?"

What. "What? No. You're - he loves Lucky. He's not going to be happy."

"Because...?"

Graves blinks. Did Newt get hit by a spell? Is he suffering short term memory loss? Is Graves suffering short term memory loss? "You're rehoming Lucky," he says slowly, "Because crups can't be office dogs."

"I'm not rehoming Lucky! Lucky has a home. She'd hate being separated - crups bond for life!" Newt looks over at Three and Four, gesturing sharply to emphasise his point. "We're rehoming them, because they're the ones without specific people to attach to and are going to hurt themselves trying to bond with the whole department."

"So," Graves starts, leaning forwards slightly. "So Lucky stays. And Rosa stays."

"Yes."

"And... Five stays?"

"Yes," Newt huffs. "All the crups with bonds stay." He pauses then, and frowns down at Five, who's still sitting in full alert at Graves' feet. "Did you really call him Five?"

"You called a thunderbird Frank," Graves reminds him, but his heart isn't in it. Five stays. Three and Four don't, but that's fair, they deserve the best homes and MACUSA isn't it for them. But Five chose Graves. Five stays.

"Good dog," he says, dropping a hand down onto Five's head. He gets a half-hearted lick in return, then Five flops down over his shoes and goes to sleep.

"Five," Newt repeats in the background. "Who has a familiar called Five. And there's nothing wrong with Frank, Frank's an excellent name."

Graves isn't listening though. He's still stuck on the landlady problem for Rosa and Lucky. Maybe if he uses a notice-me-not ward? Shit, why hasn't he got started on the collars yet. He needs to test how the runes interact; if they aren't efficient enough, he'll need to ugrade to a power-stone to keep them going. Maybe an amythyst on the tag? Or crystal wire woven through the leather...?

Newt, meanwhile, is being climbed on by Three and Four. He scratches behind their ears and sneaks a glance at where Five is sprawled protectively over Graves' feet, pretending to sleep.

"How do you feel about obscurials?" he murmurs to Four. "I know Graves said he'd rehome you, but I think there's someone you should meet first."

Four cocks her head, then shakes herself and pounces on her sister.

"Point taken," Newt says. "That's ok though, I think he has a sister. Or - he has two, one of them's a muggle though. You promise to get on with her even though she's a muggle?"

Twin excitable yips. Graves frowns and mutters something about fire-resistance.

"It's a deal then," Newt grins, and solemnly holds out a hand to shake Four's paw.

She chews his fingers, and the deal is done.

[fiction-queen-blog]

TheAmazingUchihaBruhs: Naruto’s Birthday Special (part 1)

A/N:I have been very busy, but I managed to fix something for Naruto’s birthday anyways. Enjoy

Case 18

The one thing I had been secretly enjoying these past three months, was annoying Naruto for being underaged. So, it is fair to say I have been quite the ass towards him when it came to activities that were technically illegal for minors.  I also did not pass the opportunity to shove it in his face. Every. Damn. Time.

But the day has come the minor is going to turn 18, and my teasing days have come to an end. It was only to be expected from Naruto to directly take the opportunity to invite me to come over during his the celebration.  He did make clear that he was going to shove the 18 candles on his cake somewhere the light won't shine.

Yeah, I was not underestimating what an ass I have been to him these past months.

Putting that aside, I wanted to get him something special for his birthday. Something he would not only like but love. However, I have no fucking idea what that thing would be.  So, I have to do some detective work.

Detective work being a different way of saying -> I am going to stalk him so I know exactly what he wants.

Oxoxox

Like every good detective movie. The very first thing you do, is clear the pin board and  put everything you already know about the case.

I looked at the yearbook picture of Naruto in the middle of the board. It was surrounded by the ' known'  facts. I was playing with the red marker while my eyes were fixated on the board.

Uzumaki Naruto. Recently started his bachelor in chemistry in the university of Konoha, lives with his mother, Uzumaki Kushina, and his father, Namikaze Minato. He plays tennis, goes to the gym, likes to go to bars, socialize, make friends, play video games. Suffers from ADHD and a nut allergy.

The last one I found out the hard way.

" Holy fucking shit! Shisui owes me money!"  

I turned my head to Izuna, who naturally walked  in my room without knocking.

" Get out" I threw a book towards him, but he dodged it.

" What? We have 34 bets. Which one?" Shisui stuck his head inside my room and looked at the pin board.

" It is not what is looks like!"  I was afraid they thought I was stalking Naruto.

"You did not win. He hasn't kidnapped Naruto yet. So, you haven't won yet!" Shisui looked serious.

" You guys think I am going to kidnap Naruto ?"  I did not expect anything better from my brothers.

"Are we wrong though?" Izuna pointed at the pin board. " You have made a graph of his sleeping pattern going from light-sleep to heavy-sleep"

"Dude, I thought you were bad at maths!"  Shisui walked towards the pin board to examine it.

"Can you ..like...stay away!"  I hissed, trying to cover the board with my body.  " He invited me to celebrate his birthday next week, and I need to figure out the perfect gift!"

"Why?" Izuna asked. " Because he got u that awesome sex toy, you don't wanna share"

" Disgusting..and disturbing.." I shook my head slowly.

"You know what would be a nice gift...A restraining order" Shisui high-fived Izuna.

"But really, you probably won't even see him Friday. Lots of people got invited-"

" Friday?"  I cocked my head, " he said Sunday"

"No, it is Friday. I am sure " Izuna grabbed his phone and after a few minutes he turned the screen towards me.

"But..He told me it was at his house...at noon" I scrolled through their chat.

" Ayyee...Now it got awkward..." Izuna looked at Shisui.

"He probably has his reasons, princess. Maybe he wants the two of you to celebrate together. Maybe he knows you are not into loud music, a big crowd and warm beer. You are probably-"

" That asshole! He is shutting me out!"  I clenched a fist.

" Yeah ! And he invited like..the entire university! If not the entire city".

" I think you are putting fuel on this fire, izuna" shisui sighed. " princess, just be straight with him. Text him and ask about the party on Friday. Maybe he made a mistake, maybe he has his reason-"

"Oh, I am going to get to the bottom of this!"

"Hell yeah! Go and catch him right in his fucking lie!"  

"I thought you and naruto were friends, Zuna"  

Their conversation between them went on.

I didn't pay attention though.

 I was determined to find out why the hell Naruto was shutting me out. Could it be...that there was some hotti in his class who is super smart and good in chemistry and maths that loves to work out and is like a 10 in bed!

Shit. No. That person would have everything I have not. Maybe Naruto already knows!  I have to find out who this bitch is...and kill them.

I pulled his picture from the pin board.

"Operation perfect present has changed. I am no longer interested in what he wants. I am interested in that slut's name he fucks around with and I am gonna make them disappear!"

I saw shisui and izuna share a look with one another.

"Uhmm...where did the ' slut'. Come from?" Shisui was the first one to ask.

" obviously it is the bitch in his class that he is totally into and thus is shoving me to the side!"

"That makes perfect sense! You're his plan b when it doesn't work out with that bitch!"  

At least izuna got it.

" you will not listen to my advice, will you?"

" no" Both izuna and I said at the same time.

" don't call me when you are in jail" he walked out of the room. Well, I did not need his negative energy anyway.

I grabbed my laptop.

“This is like playing detective! But instead of the finding the missing dango we are finding the bitch who is trying to steal your boyfriend"

" he is actually not my boyfriend....yet" I turned the screen of the laptop around for Izuna to see. " he has 200 classmates. It could be anyone of these fuckers!"  I put the laptop back on my lap.

"Oh damn...this seems like...a lot of work. Why don't we just..like..proof you are better than some random person in his class."

I looked up from the screen, over my glasses at my brother.

" Dude..I'm an 18 years old, below average, guy that has severe ptsd coupled with anxiety and on the verge of depression. My special skills are eating an entire bag of crisps and sarcasm"

" yeah..killing the bitch is easier" izuna admitted.

"Fuck, you would expect a bunch of future chemist to be a bunch of geeks..." I Muttered, googling every name.  " it could be any one of them"

"What is Naruto's type anyway?" Izuna looked over my shoulder. " dude, are you cracking into their personal emails?"

I turned my head to look at my brother.

"It depends...are you going to snitch on me?"

" When did you even learn-"

" I am a guy with some hidden skills....I knew some IT nerd back in the police force. I saw them do this all the time. That is how I know some tricks"

" dude...Why don’t you just crack Naruto's computer. See whom he has been in contact with from his class and all"

I stopped typing for a second.

" fuck me"

" I am a good partner"

" even better if you get me some coffee" I said.

" on it, partner!" Izuna jogged out of my room as I continued trying to get in Naruto's laptop.

" ha! I am in! Thank you weird IT chick that is always talked out loud" I smirked.

"Do I wanna know what is going on?"  

I did not look at the door opening, knowing it was Obito.

"Hacking Naruto's laptop to find some scumbag trying to steal something of mine"  

"I don't wanna know" Obito said, as he walked past the open door.

"Hey, I got the coffee. What do you have so far?" Izuna said, putting the mug down.

" so far...I know his background is a picture of a fox and he watches a lot of porn..like...a lot...like...fucking hell. There is gay porn here and lesbian porn and just straight porn. Apparently he does it between making homework too?"

" how long can this guy go?" Izuna grabbed my laptop and scrolled through it. " he is into some kinky shit..so it seems..."

"What else is there?"

"...Youtube..lot of youtube..FaceNet"

" FaceNet. Give me that" I grabbed my laptop back. "Ha! They have a class groupchat !”

" of 200 people?!"  

" nah...20...but he is in 6 of them...fair to assume he made friends with almost everyone" i scrolled through some of the chats, but got nothing.

"Hey, single chat, some chick named Mito" Izuna pointed out. I pressed it and frowned.

" He video chats with her"

" cam sex eh! Scumbags!"  Izuna said.

" it is suspicious, right?!" I shouted.

"He wrote a message..see the chat with his mom is back on top" izuna speculated.  I pressed it.

" Hey mom, I am with  Nana"

"Who the fuck is Nana!?"  I shouted.

" he has two side bitches! With you makes it the three side bitch! "

" but of course!"  Everything made so much sense now.

" she is typing!" Izuna pointed at the screen.

"Have fun, dear. Be safe " Izuna read outloud.

"K-kushina...But...i thought she liked me!" I grabbed izuna. " she is in the scam too...curse that family. What does she mean, be safe..WHO SAYS THAT!"

" Come..come...Sasuke...it is alright".

" it is not!"  I hissed, pushing izuna aside. " I am gonna track the gps on his phone and fucking confront him!"  

" you can do that?!"  

I raised an eyebrow when I turned my head.

" track my i-phone...dude...it is not hard..." i shook my head.

I wrote the address down and got up.

" bitch gonna get it. All of them!"  I reached in the drawer and grabbed my handgun, though izuna immediately grabbed it from me.

" you are right...I will beat them all! More satisfying"

"Maybe..And this is odd coming from me. You are just scared because you don’t see him as often as you used to. So,now you are thinking irrational?”

“You followed one psychology class. Back.The.Fuck.up!” I hissed

“I should not be a part of this. Without Shisui as my attorney I am not sure who else I can afford"

" whatever! I will go alone!"  I Grabbed my phone and walked out of my room.

" where are you going?" Shisui asked as he saw me pass by.

" fuck some fuckboy’s bitches over" I hissed.

"....Be safe..”

[boogieblog-blog1]

Exclusive Interview With DJ & Producer Tanner

Diving into the industry under a new alias, Tanner otherwise known as Connor England, is a 23 year old DJ & producer from Daventry, who specialises in House and Disco. Currently based in South London he is completing his degree in Music Industry Management at The Royal Docks Business School. I caught up with him to get an insight into his life and what’s been keeping him busy recently in the big smoke.

Hi Connor, thanks for taking the time to chat, must be quite the challenge trying to keep on top of university work and maintaining a DJ career, how do you time manage? And what are your plans for after university?

Easy, thanks for having me! So yeah, I’m in 2nd year at Uni at the moment, and although the course is rather academic (being Music Business) the workload hasn’t been too much to handle yet alongside my job and music work! I work as a bike messenger almost full time alongside Uni in the week and that covers me for money, leaving me from around 5pm onwards each night to focus on my music/Uni work. I’m testing new tracks, mixing and building sets for possible gigs near enough every day, be it before work or Uni, or when I get back, and the same goes for when I sit down to write my own music or play around with some edits. 

Music itself is a big part of my day to day routine, and my daily life (besides work) almost completely revolves around either studying about music, or making/re-producing it in some way. Weekends are best, as I can use both free days to really get into a new project in the studio, or simply use the time to search for new music etc. In terms of what I’ll be doing when I finally graduate Uni, you’ll probably see me doing the same things, but with more time and money on my hands to do them! Also, I’m working on a few up-coming projects right now that if all go well, should keep me more than busy after graduation.

The inevitable question, what made you decide to become a DJ? 

Haha, this is a hard question actually, because there’s so many different reasons and memories I have of starting, plus I got my first set of decks 8 years ago now! But to be completely honest, the first time I ever experienced dance music in a way that influenced my future choices was at the age of 15, when I lived in my hometown of Daventry. An older friend who I looked up to a lot and who always had his ears to the ground for new music, invited me to a house party in the neighbouring city Coventry. Being a small-town boy and still in school, opportunities to leave the town and go out at my age were minimal, so I was eager to not miss out. We eventually arrived at the house quite late and settled in, not long after which I was offered my first pill by another friend. 

As you can imagine, and like most stories before mine that include a reference to ecstasy, the rest is history. The person who was DJ’ing was playing all sorts of stuff that I’d never heard before (I was in to some pretty crap music myself at the time) and it just completely blew me away. For the rest of the night I danced in genuine awe of the DJ as he played tracks by Pearson Sound, Mala, Boddika, Leofah, and Pangaea to name but a few. (Ramadanman – ‘Glut’ was one of the tunes I heard that night for example). I think the combination of those heavy rolling 135/140bpm tracks and my first pill experience gave me an insight into a world I didn’t know existed till that point. After I finally recovered the next day or so, it was obvious to me that I had the bug, and I decided I’d never look back from that experience or the scene I was introduced to. I began practicing on my brothers Technic 1210’s and bought my first set of decks soon after. Nearly 8 years later here we are! Romantic eh.

So, you’ve been uploading some of your own edits via SoundCloud recently. When did you start to produce and where do you see it taking you alongside your DJing?

Well, I’ve always wanted to make my own music alongside being a DJ, as most of us do at some point it seems. I mean, it’s a natural progression to move from playing other people’s music to making your own I guess. Up until now I’ve been rather self-critical with my productions, and thus haven’t uploaded anything till now. However, in the past 6 months I’ve spent extra time in the studio working on tracks, and decided it was about time I released some under a new alias, so I created Tanner to group together my current DJ and production work. In the long term, I plan to keep building on my individual sound as a producer to coincide with the type of music I play in my DJ sets, and to release on some labels I’ve always wanted to feature on. I like the idea of starting my own label at some point as well, to release some of my more obscure or random productions, possibly alongside other friends and colleagues, but we will see. I wouldn’t start a label for the sake of it.

So, you’ve played at and helped with nights in your hometown of Northamptonshire in the past. Would you say it’s easier to organise an event back home or here in London? And reasons why?

Well, back home the scene for house music was small, and the nightlife economy there revolves around typical small town mentality. Most ‘clubs’ catered for RnB and Pop music, and all the ‘bars’ were either so bleak or depressing that it made going out for me and my friends a no brainer. We often stayed in on weekends preferring to watch early days boiler room through some tinny laptop speakers instead! So, when there were House/Techno nights planned, everyone in the town with vested interests was involved in some way. Be it performing, promoting, flyering, helping to spread the night through word of mouth at college, you name it. The whole scene - or most of it - would try and pull together to start new nights, to offer some sort of alternative to the norm, which was great. In terms of London, I’m currently building a proposal for a bi monthly event to be held in South London (set to run from July 2017), and all in all that has been a lot of work to plan, but relatively easy to get permission for etc. I wouldn’t be able to say if it’s easier to be honest, as I think the challenges that people I know faced in Northampton are very different to the challenges promoters will face in London now, such as gentrification or property development for example. But overall I’d say that regardless of how hard it is for people to start a night, there will always be those that find a way around it. Like Acid House showed us, the skies the limit. If it became impossible to legally run events, then promoters will simply go back underground, operating via illegal events instead. 

Who are your biggest influences?

My biggest influence is my mother that goes without saying haha. But musically, ah there’s so many! Chicago House and Detroit Techno were really important for me when I first began to delve into the more underground side of dance music, so I’d say for sure artists like; Frankie Knuckles, Larry Heard, Ron Hardy and Steve Silk Hurley, plus Carl Craig, Jeff Mills, Theo Parrish and the like from Detroit. Then there’s the more recent artists such as Joy Orbison, Ben UFO, The Black Madonna, Midland etc. Also, my old boss Aidy West who owns Vinyl Underground (a 20+ year old record store in Northampton) is a don in the underground scene, and he was a big influence on my taste in music when I worked for him. 

What are your top 3 songs at the moment?

Ah that’s easy, I’ve been rinsing these recently! 

1. Guy Costly – Somebody Here

This is an absolute banger straight from 1992. It just climbs and climbs! Slamming gospel house track that works on the dancefloor every time. Available on Discogs for under a £1 too so go get a copy!

2. Cloud One – Disco Juice 

It goes without saying, but this is a timeless classic that will always be a feature in my sets. Almost entirely produced by the legend Patrick Adams for Cloud One, its got tonnes of feel good vibes right from the start. A surprisingly versatile record that works in so many ways – great to end an energetic set on!

3. Karizma – Work It Out 

This heavy hitter from Karizma is such a favourite of mine at the moment that I’ve stopped playing it in the hope it becomes a bit of a nostalgic go to record for my future self!  More gospel madness, enjoy dropping it as you inevitably will!

Any tips for aspiring DJ/producers?

Focus on doing things for the right reasons that matter to you, and try to keep in sight why and how you started your love for being a DJ or Producer. It doesn’t matter how long it takes to get to “the end result”, and realising that can be humbling. I’ve got far to go in terms of achieving the goals and aspirations that I’ve set out, but taking the time to achieve them properly and organically is what I hope will keep me involved and in love with music for years to come. Thanks :) 

Follow Tanner on Soundcloud, Facebook, Twitter and check out his website.