#I think maybe part of it is that I'm not rping anymore and that's either making me insecure or just out of practice

[sillimancer]

this character design block I've been dealing with for the past few years is actually so annoying and I wish I could set it on fire

[strixcattus]

part four of part one of scpstptpc

while all potential avenues for direct spoilers have likely already been explored, there may be references to earlier routes in this section. therefore, the space below should be considered a spoiler zone, in addition to being a time capsule of christmas day, 2023.

...

chapter i: the hero and the princess

...

I really don't feel up to another murder after that. I really don't.

(ooc: is it more in-character to follow my footsteps exactly, or to take experience into account?)

thought you'd have left after last route.

(ooc: I can't leave. I'm pretending to be you.)

stopped talking, then. same deal. and either way, you haven't.

(ooc: it doesn't get easier afterwards, though. the circumstances that make one choice difficult don't vanish quietly after it's been made.)

you're telling me?

(ooc: you asked.)

I can't ignore you if you talk to me directly, you know.

(ooc: I can't ignore you if you talk to me directly.)

I know.

(ooc: do you want me to? leave you alone?)

no

but you really should

(ooc: I know)

I want to go into that cabin and apologise. I can't tell if that's me wanting it or you seeping over.

(ooc: we're the same person, aren't we?)

yeah but I thought you wanted an accurate larp?

(ooc: is it really a larp if it's over text?)

probably not. fine. what do I do now.

(ooc: whatever you want to do forever)

I want to hug the princess and tell her everything is going to be okay

but I also know that the reason I'm here is that you wanted the first gallery entries to reflect your own first run

so here I am to do that

(ooc: what with sp3ctre I'm not sure it will)

yeah didn't you have something about tha—

(ooc: what happens to the wallpaper? the wallpaper?? her poem)

figured

look neither of us is in a condition to be "in character"

you're too knowledgeable and I, on top of being you, have to hear about all your "empathy" and "apocalypse guilt" and "if I'd known I never would have raised a blade against her"

(ooc: I never said any of those words.)

yeah. this is me putting words to your emotions. and I'm not sure but maybe you've said that last one, except not with those exact words and not to my face? because I didn't exist when you said them

(ooc: I was you when I said them.)

yeah. but I'm not that me yet

and I'm not the me you were before that anymore, either

so let's get you your gallery

and I'll try not to let it hurt to much when we kill her again.

(ooc: at least this one likes it when she dies)

she does?

(ooc: yeah. little too much if you catch my drift)

ew

alright. let's. let's slay a princess.

I don't want to slay the princess

(ooc: neither do I.)

can you make a third one?

(ooc: I can't even make a second one.)

nah, I think you did fine. not your fault she was like that

(ooc: anyway I don't think it works like that. you're the character. I could make a new character)

(ooc: but I think that counts as killing you?)

and ending the run doesn't?

(ooc: ending the run turns you into me)

does it? after this?

(ooc: I think it does. that's what I'm going with, anyway.)

(ooc: and don't you want to find out?)

alright.

If you can pretend to be me I think I can pretend to be a me that doesn't hurt

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CHAPTER I: THE HERO AND THE PRINCESS

...

...I'm going to set all that aside to process later. Maybe slaying the Princess again will make me feel better?

(OOC: It won't.)

(OOC^2: Hey, give that back!)

(OOC: No. If I'm going to larp as a me that isn't so shaken up from that last route that she can't bear to do anything other than free the Princess and go far far away from this cabin, I'm going to need two things from you.)

(OOC^2: Again, I don't think it's larping if it's over text.)

(OOC: It is if my life exists only within text. I'm larping, you're just rping.)

(OOC^2: Fine. I'm guessing that OOC-bracket rights are one of the two things? What's the other?)

(OOC: Tell me everything.)

(OOC^2: No. I have integrity.)

(OOC: Fine. Tell me one thing. What makes the route?)

(OOC^2: Perception. What you think of the Princess minus what you've already done. For the next route, you need to fight her as an equal, and for the one after that... you already know what you need to do.)

(OOC: Thanks.)

I went through just as many dialogue options as last time, but things are... different now. I can fight her on level ground.

Now, "level ground" does mean we are both dying. But at least I'm getting better at stabbing!

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CHAPTER II: THE ADVERSARY

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Oh would Voice of the Stubborn just shut up.

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CHAPTER III: THE EYE OF THE NEEDLE

...

Thanks, Hunted. Appreciate you being here, Hunted. Please distract this angry violent guy for me.

And, frankly, his plan sounds good. Lure her out of her element and take her down.

Why does everyone dislike the Narrator, though? I mean. There was last route. But they don't remember that and they all want the Princess dead. They ought to be on the same side.

...

I haven't said much because I've hadn't had much to say. But that was... exhilarating. Probably would have been more so if I hadn't just done... Sp3ctre.

...Is it right to lie to the Voices at the mirror, just to make them feel better?

...I wish I knew the right decision. I wish present-future me remembered what I did, so I wouldn't have to make it.

(OOC^2: Never a good option.)

...

It's pretty rude, to be so dismissive of people when people are the only things I have known, and when I have just finished killing every person I've met.

...

The mirror shattering still gets me. Every time.

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CHAPTER I: THE HERO AND THE PRINCESS

...

(OOC: I think I feel better now. Or, if not better, less worse. You can have your OOC brackets back now.)

(OOC^2: You say that, but you say it while using an OOC bracket.)

Fair enough.

I'm not sure what I'll do this time. I feel like I'm running out of options.

I've heard of something called the "Prisoner?" I'm not sure how to get there, though. Maybe if I lock her back in the basement, thus making her a "prisoner?"

I don't seem to have any other options, anyway. Unless I freed her, but I think I'm going to see this murder thing through.

I've sacrificed enough to keep it going already. May as well finish the job properly.

...

...Is this the lead-in to the "Prisoner?"

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CHAPTER II: THE NIGHTMARE

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That was not the lead-in to the "Prisoner."

...

What's the right direction to go? Is there a right direction? What can I do, at this point?

...

...Oh no. She's doing it again. What do I do. What do I do what do I—

...

Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves.

...

...She talks a lot, but I don't think she can actually kill me with Paranoid picking up the task of keeping me alive. What's the worst that could— oh of course that's it.

...

The Narrator said something about hoping he was "the first." Think I saw that in a playthrough, too. And last route, I think, he said he knew we were looping, but had never met us before. Are there... multiple hims, or something?

...

Oh well. Nothing to it.

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CHAPTER III: THE WRAITH

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Voice of the Cold is back! Missed him!

And the Narrator keeps saying he wishes we didn't have free will. Come on, man—my free will slew the Princess twice when yours wouldn't have.

Sure, one of those times was. Well. But we don't have to go back there.

...

...Interesting that we can still talk about her "possessing" us even when we got here from Nightmare rather than Spectre.

(OOC: Oh, good, I've got my OOC-brackets back. This is strictly speaking not information that my past self should have, given I've neatly routed her around Spectre -> Wraith, but it's something that I've found odd since... well, since here.)

...

...I know what I have to do.

(OOC: "WHY DO YOU HATE ME?")

...

One more post. See you all on the other side.

[taocc-updates]

Rant about taocc yayyy

I feel like taocc isn't taocc anymore, or atleast what it was made for/about. Now days we aren't doing silly or random rp's, we're doing fully fleshed out plans and having huge lore with past family's and remembering probably everything from before and after the headset. We remember everyone from our families to friends and even trips we had but mainly trauma for. Y'know. Lore purposes. Even then the characters aren't even tadc characters at this point, we have extreme resemblance or just complete humans at this point, any other cartnoonish or unrealistic characters that are left aren't or feel like they aren't important to taocc anymore (Bob, Sun, Neb, Kopi, Lantern, ect ect ect.). Also also, abstraction has pretty much never been a thing in taocc other than three times with Bob, Tiger, and Juko. Also also, we have full on other dimensions for some people or full on places that shouldn't exist from either no space on the digital island or because of they straight up kill/kidnap people (Home, that one repeated day place, kingdomquest ect) also also, the filter died a long time ago with the canon cast of Tadc. Also also, if you aren't rping with people you're talking with mods about life and interests which isn't bad that's a great factor but it just makes me feel like there's not enough rp that goes on even though there is and I'm just not seeing the blogs which the taocc updates blog doesn't fix anyways because not all of the mods know how/were invited to the blog, it's only main mods as I've been told they're called (me, Xeya, Hope, Jester, Soup, Elsie, Jeff).

Main point of all of this, I feel like the tadc part of taocc has been taken away and this place is just a fantasy rp that we've been saying is Tadc because of the branding. And for people that are new and just now seeing this RP group see all of this and think that we're too good for them because they're not only getting into the taocc group but they're trying to fit in which now days requires like alot of writing, well developed character, and a huge plan for this character that they're making. I feel like we should have an au or have some sort of limited time event for taocc that brings back the original taocc, atleast try to bring it back as best we can since most of the original mods are gone

You know, I’ve been thinking about this a decent bit lately, actually.

taocc is not what it started as, but the foundation is absolutely still there. C&A exists and is consistently important. Most of the base worldbuilding rules (moderator AI, abstraction, gimmicks, etc) are taken from TADC.

Also, side note, abstraction has been used TONS of times I’m sorry that’s literally just not true and I can list some, even if not everyone will know who/what I’m referring to. (Simon abstracted once, Mix got his wings from abstraction, Icia abstracted, Dusk nearly abstracted, sun abstracted once I think, alpen nearly abstracted once, Starro’s whole GIMMICK is based around abstraction, Achilles and Yume are stuck in half-abstraction, the list goes on!)

also also, taocc as we know it is a mash-together of 2 (maybe 3) different projects. To bring back the “original” taocc, we’d need to put those separations back into place, which is probably a bad idea.

is the worldbuilding a bit of a mess? Yes. Is it over complicated? Probably! Should we maybe work on putting that mess in order? Absolutely!

but I don’t think going backwards is a good idea, personally.

Edit: I almost forgot: as far as I can tell, every mod has access to this acct, it’s just that not all of them post here much.

Also, Kopi is still super important, and still the pink menace of all time.

[rpbetter]

I'm so tired of roleplaying with people who don't put half the commitment I do into our threads and muses. I'm so tired of feeling like I'm a weirdo or like I don't belong for that. Any other hobby and people wouldn't care if I took it seriously. Why is roleplaying different? How can I keep going like this if I'm getting rudeness from all sides? I can't even go outside my already tiny bubble and find more partners, because I always see people putting roleplayers like me down and it's exhausting.

"Why is roleplaying different?"

Well, Anon, I know that was a rhetorical question, but I have some thoughts on that. To the surprise of no one!

I strongly believe that this is an issue with how fandom has come to dominate roleplaying. As I've said before, it really wasn't always like that. Of course, you always had canon characters and almost all RPers were invested in a fandom or two. The difference was that online RP was once viewed much more like tabletop RPGs are.

When the RPC became a near-total offshoot of Fandom, a lot of shit changed and very rapidly...and within Fandom, a lot of shit was changing very rapidly as well at that time.

RP has always been something looked down on (though, at least no one ever accused written RP online of being literally demonic like they did DnD, or made correlations to murder sprees like they did LARPing, so there's that) as strange, not the good, understandable sort of dorky.

Part of that is almost certainly because of the difference in the way society views writing vs the way it views hobbies like gaming - writing is seen as an intellectual pursuit and a job, gaming, even at its most negative points of view in wider society, has been seen traditionally as a downtime activity only.

But. RP was not looked down upon from within Fandom or in roleplay communities themselves like it is now.

When the whole experience of fandoms themselves became extremely mainstream and open, it welcomed in a ton of shit ideas and behaviors that were not previously prevalent. It changed RP, too, along many of those same lines.

When your hobby is considered objectionably weird by people within the fandoms you love and RP in and that makes you a sort of lowest-tier fan, the viewpoint of RP to RPers becomes something lesser than a valid hobby. When RPers are the same people who engage with Fandom monetarily, anything not monetized is passively consumable content, including RP. And RPers are trying to both deflect shame and struggling with wider society's mixed messages, that now hit them everywhere online as well. Shit like, "you don't have to monetize your hobby, it's okay to just make really good cross stitches of memes for yourself" and "if you're not paying me, you have no control over me."

We seriously do not view RP as a proper hobby anymore, that's why. There are many factors to that, those are just few, but that's the ultimate answer. It's not seen that way because it's not valued in the same way.

I think much of the problem with muns losing their entire shit over anyone else approaching the hobby differently, dare I say...more seriously, is related to a lot of complex psychology about self-esteem, control, and anxiety. So many people here struggle with serious self-worth and confidence issues, and I think to many of them, whether they realize it or not, when they see serious RPers, they feel like that's an inherent judgment and a danger to their own enjoyment. Because RP, as writing, is a skilled hobby - the more you practice it, the more skilled you become with it. Meaning that someone who approaches the writing seriously is going to be at a higher skill level.

Enter the way we're training to think about writing again - when they see someone who is very practiced, skilled, and confident with their writing, the learned idea is that they're somehow superior in a nasty, personal way.

I most certainly do not think that makes it alright, it isn't, and I'm not very tolerant of it.

It's absolutely alright to engage with RP in any way you see fit. If that's extremely casual, it's a minor hobby for you, that's great! I'm so happy you're enjoying yourself, and I mean that in no facetious way. But not when that is the only form of it respected and accepted. It's just as alright to have RP as your primary, serious hobby!

The only way we can all enjoy a hobby with such great variance within it is by respecting each other's variables, not by vilifying them. It's recognizing that, no matter how much you enjoy the mun and/or muse, they're not engaging with the hobby in the way you are, it's not a good fit to write together. (Please, begging y'all to be friends with those who are different, not enemies, shit's sake. You've not got to write together to be friends!) Instead of labeling them and being hateful. Different =/= a threat.

And, to go off a bit lol y'all demonizing serious RPers really don't get that there are some intense tones of ableism and more going on in that narrative of yours, huh?

Not that anyone requires a reason to be serious about any hobby, but when people pick a hobby like RP as their primary one...you should probably have the maturity to consider why that is. Could it be that they focus on a hobby they can do from their homes and that requires low physical involvement, and has a degree of separation from direct socializing, for a reason?

Serious RPers tend to be limited in their ability to pursue other hobbies. Mental and physical health, region, finances, and ability to spend time outside of the home are all very common limits for those who "take RP too seriously/are addicted to RP."

Maybe take five seconds away from your own issues to consider that the person you're shitting on for something so minor as a difference of importance of a hobby might be the full-time caretaker of a special needs child, having to remain home and on a very small income. They might be chronically ill or suffer from agoraphobia. They might live in an area with no hobbies of interest, affordability, or at all...or they might live somewhere that is incredibly dangerous for them.

I honestly do not know where these people have been that they've been aggressed at by serious RPers, but that's usually the excuse. (I'm not saying it has never happened or does not happen, before anyone goes there.) The idea that serious RPers are extreme elitists who are demanding that other muns do what they do, how they do it. That they expect other muns to be online and RPing all the time, that they be "available for entertainment at all times" at the cost of real-life matters. Having the expectation that threads not be dropped constantly or that a writing partner not leave for months with no contact is neither of those things.

In over two decades of RPing across almost every platform type that has existed, I have literally never seen that be either a singular RPer-type problem or one that serious RPers are even more likely to deal in. I've seen the opposite, actually. Which is not a condemnation or a statement that all casual RPers do this, just what my experience has been. And one that actually stands to reason based on the way they view and engage with RP - quick replies, quick entertainment, and very low commitment to threads, muses, or other muns. Of course, it's annoying to them when a more serious RPer is unwilling to do rapid-fire style quick, short threads from an ask with them, but is writing the lengthy replies they already owed instead.

That's probably a factor as well, in here among a plethora of misunderstanding/unawareness of differences - for many serious RPers, it's not easier and more fun to write short, quick threads. So, what a casual RPer is seeing is that they're willing to put all this extraordinary effort into a massive reply to someone else while their easy, fun, quickly done thread is waiting in line.

Misunderstandings and unawareness breed hostility, period. And there is a hell of a lot of those things in the RPC.

What serious RPers are expressing are either boundaries/expectations or frustration. Not a demand that you be around all the time, but an expectation that you leave them alone if you're not also a serious RPer who will be committed to threads and muses. Not hostility and elitism, the frustration that it's already difficult to find muns who will work out before you add in the majority rule of casual RPers.

It's incredibly disheartening, frustrating, and honestly, a bit anxiety-inducing to constantly be the weird one, always have few choices, and to be at risk of being Problematic purely because you take the hobby seriously. You can't vent without someone jumping on your ass to remind you (even if you said numerous times that "real life comes first" and "people can do what they want") that omg, people have lives, people can do what makes them happy, it's just RP.

It's so upsetting when you think you might have found a good writing partner, then, you see a PSA they've reblogged about how it's a "hobby, not a jobby," and "no one owes anyone anything, ever." Excuse me, as that last one is a direct quote, let me redo it so it is verbatim: "no one owes anyone here anything - EVER !!!"

I said I wasn't very tolerant :)

But seriously, exactly what you've expressed is why I'm not...it's another form of controlling others instead of trying your best to control your own experience, and it's often extremely hateful. I'm not tolerant of anything like that, it's no longer supporting preferences at that point. When your preference is the only one that will be tolerated in the community, it's not a preference anymore.

It's something that makes others feel isolated, afraid of harassment, and depressed. It is a hobby and it isn't supposed to make you feel like that!

And, no, absolutely the fuck not lol the "answer" to this isn't that you're taking it too seriously and need to take a break. I'm so tired of seeing that shit tacked onto RPH responses and vents and PSAs. You're not saying that RP is making you feel this way, "just take a break and come back when you agree with everyone else" isn't a solution.

Of course, if you do feel like your time here has become so upsetting? Yeah, obviously, you should try to find some other things to supplement your downtime that make you feel happier again. Engage in some other forms of writing just meant for yourself, or that can be published as fics. Spend some more time on a game you enjoy for a while, or get invested in a new one. Learn to shape bonsai or make no-knead rolls. Whatever would make you happy as a hobby when you're not here.

Other than that, however, well...we're not going to be implying on this blog that you're too serious and need to take a hiatus until you have no emotional investment in your hobby. That's insane. I'd not say it about hiking, martial arts, dog obedience competitions, hobby farming, or painting either.

I wish I could think of some solutions as to where you could look that wasn't like this, but it's definitely the majority of the RPC. It doesn't help that, due to this, serious RPers have a tendency to quietly stick together and not venture out into the RPC. They're just not incredibly easy to find.

I will say that they tend to be:

novella - if you're not here for serious RP and sticking around for a while, you're not going to invest the time and energy into particularly lengthy writing

older RPers - I would say that twenty-five is probably the youngest, with early thirties to late forties being the majority

in fandoms with a large adult base of fans - even if it's a franchise friendly to, or even meant for, younger fans, if it has a particularly active adult fanbase, it's a better chance of finding serious RPers in it

as above, old fandoms - fandoms that have been around for a long time tend to have more serious RPers in them

fandomless OCs - tend to have a higher chance of being written by serious RPers than canons or heavily fandom-involved OCs

RPers who do not do a ton of advertising for their muse(s), but when they do, they don't advertise them based on activism points or trends

slightly more likely to not have an emphasis on highly aesthetic blogs, graphics, icons etc. - they use a modified basic tumblr theme, low on graphics, their aesthetics are not on-trend, for example

anti-content policing/"write what you want" style muns

muns with more extensive rules pages - they plan to be here for a while, they take writing, RP, and their muse(s) seriously, so, it's a bit more important to them to head off problems before they start

those with older characters/FCs - be that literally in age or the character being one that has existed for a long time

"stay in your lane" style muns - if they're opining on fandom or the RPC, they must really be angry about something

those with numerous and detailed headcanons - for example, their response to a HC meme ask like, "what's your muse's favorite ice cream flavor?" is going to be treated seriously, not simply answered with "mint chocolate chip because my bby is gross"

As usual, not a complete or perfect list. I don't fit some of the things on there! It could give you some things to look for when trying to find other serious RPers, though. It's based on observances from someone who was never a casual RPer, even as a minor (me, obviously), and maybe it could at least keep you from continuously running into hostility about your approach to RP.

I've honestly considered making a list of some sort expressly for RPers who are on the more serious end of the spectrum, but...in a RPC back when things were dominated by serious RPers, I did that sort of thing with a RPH I had, and it still got labeled as being a list for and by Elitists. I don't know that anyone would want to put themselves out there for potential harassment on tumblr, you know? It was a joke then, just having a group of RPers label you as an Elitist. Here, you get told to kill yourself, and none of us need more of that shit, right?

Try to hang in there, Anon, I know it's upsetting, and I'm so sorry that something fun has gotten to be like this.

Try to understand that these people are coming from a place of irrational defensiveness, often in response to bullying themselves at some point or feeling bad about themselves. That doesn't make it right, but it does make it easier to not take to heart.

And keep at it! In my experience here, once you find a group of people you fit into, it really is...A Group. Especially among RPers who are ostracized, they stick together, they promote each other, and they're very happy for their mutuals to become your mutuals. Once you find them, it unlocks so many opportunities for the interactions and type of RP you've been missing!

[confessionsofa-roleplayer]

At this point there are too many posts to link but I’m op of that disappointment post again: I’m not shaming ANYBODY for rping, I literally only mean it’s not part of MY journey. It’s not a commentary on what other people should do, or how “mature” I think they are. I literally don’t care what people do with their spare time. It’s none of my business. I just don’t like rping anymore. Surprisingly, some people move on from hobbies after awhile, something that has absolutely zero bearing on what you personally should or shouldn’t do. As for what they could’ve said instead, a “thanks for letting me know, good luck in your future” would’ve been just fine. Or “thanks for letting me know, I will treasure the time we had together”, or “I’ll miss you. maybe we’ll meet again.” something along those lines. Something positive, or at least neutral, not like I’m wasting my creativity or dying or something. All I said was that I’m dropping our threads because I’m not rping anymore, not that I’m quitting the internet and moving to a cottage in the woods. My other socials are still there. I still post about the same fandom and character as I did on my rp blog. Maybe it’s because I get told every few months that it’s “such a shame” I’m wasting my time and talents on my current career path so that type of wording and phrasing makes me very defensive. Or maybe it’s because they just aren’t very nice words to tell someone who’s trying to move on. Maybe it’s both, idk. Either way this event already happened, so regardless of what i think or what you all think, the moment has long passed. All I can say is that it pissed me off at the time bc it initially came of as shaming me for my growth and I vented about it here instead of blowing up at them in DMs. Period.

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I'm going to link to the original confession and the OP's first reply to the comments and leave it at that.

~ Mod MJ ~