#I think it's probably a lovely vulnerable scene they just butchered the point of it's historical meaning

[spectres-fulcrum]

Nooooo they did the visit to Achilles shrine and did the Alexander/Achilles stuff but didn't highlight Patroclus or Hephaestion as his Patroclus in any way shape or form. They even had Alexander go "Ptol(emy) should be here" and I was like um no.

Cause it was not a simple pilgrimage of worship. It was was two men who deeply loved each other and saw their deep love and deep friendship in these men who lived and loved so long before them-and they also believed was related to Alexander.

Ptolemy would not have made since to be included in that scene as he would've ruined the purpose of including Hephaestion

This thing. I like it on it's own(LOVE, like utterly obsessed, with the differences between Persia and Macedon, Memnon's intro scene was fantastic) but my teenage self is screaming "Inaccurate! Pause so we can check that! What about XYZ?"

[skayafair]

Just watched some MVs and OH MY GODS Crystal is SO fucking cool.

In the beginning I thought she was crazy cool, but by the end of ep 1 that changed to "endearing" because she showed her vulnerable side - just a lost girl. Like. Somebody take care of her ASAP, with blankets and hot meals and lots and lots of kindness because this girl's been sucking it up all on her own for too long, she needs a break.

Now the endearing part has settled in and I'm back to the crazy cool because SHE IS. I admire everything about her post-amnesia personality (and have some compassion for the previous one).

Also I've seen some people saying Kassius' acting was bad or bland. I've considered it. Rewatched some clips. You know what, I'm falling more and more in love with the character and her portrayal.

Crystal may seem more "bland" compared to other characters because Edwin and Niko have very pronounced designs and I'm not only talking about the looks here, it's about the mannerisms and the lines delivery as well. They are pretty dramatic. Charles is sort of theatrical too, in a way. Basically all the characters look and act like they came straight from the comics, and I don't mean the DBD comics specifically but more in terms of how encapsulated and distinct comic characters images are usually in general.

Crystal though is the viewpoint chatacter. Despite being the psychic, driving the whole plot and having several plotlines she seems the most "normal" among them, the one we're supposed to associate with and see the events through, more or less. Her behavior is less dramatic and theatrical, more casual - I probably have low chances of coming across someone like Edwin or Jenny in real life, but I wouldn't be surprised to meet someone like Crystal. Not saying Kassius acting isn't expressive - it is, very much so, but it's still toned down compared to the others. I'm convinced it's intentional though.

And another possible reason is that Crystal is often angry or unhappy during the episodes, so to some it may seem like her whole character is limited to a few defining points, which affects the acting, too. Except it's NOT.

While rewatching I was blown by how alive and visceral Crystal felt. All the emotions were delivered the way I'd expect from an irl girl. The post was initially caused by the scene when Charles talks about their relationship and "being professional" to Niko and Edwin while Crystal is present and Kassius showed her character's discomfort SO masterfully. It's the microexpressions, it's the gesture of covering her face with her hands and the way it's done, it's her quiet remarks and intonation. Or the scene in ep 5 when Crystal tells Charles about David while sitting on the pavement in front of the butcher's shop and something in me breaks every time I see this scene because Crystal is breaking there, too. There are too many examples, basically all of her screen time. Yes I'm a fan of Crystal's why asking

So yeah. I don't like to deny other's points of view just because I don't like them, and Kassius' acting wasn't something I thought of while watching, so I took time to actually think about it. Hence why I have a full right to say: this opinion is a total bullshit 💖

And I didn't think of her acting while watching because it felt so natural that I DIDN'T have to think of it. Which tells a lot as is, I think.

So yeah. Stan Crystal everyone, she's a gem.

[daylighteclipsed]

My straight (homophobic at that time) older brother watching me play kh II 15(?) or so years ago on the ps2: 'these dudes are gay, wtf' 'why are they holding hands?'

My brother watching me replay the kh games at the start of the pandemic: 'Damn, I remember them being gay, but not this much. Good for them.'

I literally didn't even remember how extremely gay they were, cause I was 10 at the time but fr. If my brother saw it aged 15, I don't get how so many people keep saying it's a reach to ship them.

dshhdhefidhdhsg

See the thing is like. Holding hands is not always romantic, you know? Idk if I even consider Sora dropping to his knees crying and clutching Riku’s hand in KH2 “romantic.” Not on its own, at least.

It’s a very intense reaction. Imo it’s still the most emotionally bare we’ve seen Sora thus far. Because he’s not trying to hold anything back. In KH3, when everyone except Riku dies, I get the sense that Sora’s trying to keep it together but can’t and feels (even more) pathetic because of that. But, in KH2, when Sora finally finds Riku, his heart’s just unashamedly spilling out of him and it’s so raw you can feel it, and Nomura is so insane for writing Sora and Riku’s reunion like this. (It’s going to take a lot to top it, and I’m really excited to see him try.)

But it’s not the kind of gesture you can slap a romantic label on and be done with. Rather, it shows this profound, overwhelming love in general. You could label it a lot of things, but Nomura’s choice to make this Sora’s most vulnerable moment communicates This is the person I feel the most for. This is the person I love the most. (And even if we do consider Sora’s vulnerability here on the same level as the KH3 scene, what does it say that just finding Riku, just seeing him again, is as overwhelming for Sora as witnessing the deaths of almost all of his closest friends? Opposite sides of the emotional spectrum, but the same level of intensity, bringing him to his knees, reducing him to tears. That’s a choice.)

My straight boyfriend played the games along with me and even he picked up on Sora’s love for Riku being stronger than his love for any other character. We commonly associate “the person I love most” with a romantic partner, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be. And I’m quite a big fan of stories where it’s not, where the heart of the story — the love story — is between family or friends. So I won’t be hugely disappointed if KH ends with no confirmed ships. (No ships would be preferable to… other things.) That said… when viewed collectively, in the context of the other games, I don’t think it’s a stretch to argue Sora and Riku’s KH2 reunion could be romantic.

Every game makes the love between these two boys more and more pronounced — they are clearly the heart of the story — but the last few installments arguably have slid into more romantic territory. We’re seeing more romantic tropes, dialogue, parallels. We’re at the point where Riku’s feelings for Sora are directly paralleled to Hercules’ romantic feelings for Meg. I mean, that’s pretty in your face gay. Among other things. So while on its own the KH2 reunion is not “romantic” imo, the increasing romantic nature of Sora and Riku’s bond can re-contextualize it as such.

If you didn’t pick up the gay shit CoM was putting down (which is highly probable because the EN dub butchered the JP so much), 15 years ago, was the ship a reach? Eh, maybe. I didn’t consider a romance between Sora and Riku until I hit Coded and DDD. (And there’s nothing wrong with enjoying a noncanon ship, as long as you’re not hurting anybody — which is something a lot of people seem to forget.) Is Soriku a reach nowadays? No way. It’s written as a logical direction their characters could go in. If you don’t see anything between them, not a single romantic undertone, it’s because you don’t want to.

[pixla]

hi hon! i adore your writing and i have a request for tommy: so you know that scene in the caves when alice breaks her leg and cindy has to like put the bone back into place? could that be with tommy x gn! reader instead? and both of them have a really really cute moment where the reader confesses how they never felt alive until they met and started dating tommy? they both survive and flashforward with fluffy smut pls?

Special thanks to the j-st-patricks-day and all my friends who helped with the process of writing this fic <3

broken bones and beating hearts

Tommy slater x nb!reader

Warnings: swearing, graphic descriptions of murder, graphic descriptions of injury (eg. Broken bones and stabbings/cuts), Possessed!Cindy, alice dies, Arnie dies, vomiting, fluff, pet-names, knocking out teeth, sex, unprotected sex, this au doesn’t fit with any of the other films (feel free to tell me if there’s any others)

Word count: 3.2k

POVC= point of view change

Tommy gripped your wrists pulling you out through the narrow cavern as it collapsed only seconds later. “Fuck!” You tucked your legs close to your body, trying to shake the feeling of Cindy's grip around your ankles. “What the fuck is happening?” You looked up as Tommy still held you close, you both too scared to move from the previous near death experience.

Everything was normal. You had all just ran out into the woods, you and Alice teasing Cindy about some stupid witchcraft book she had found in nurse lane’s office. But then Cindy decided to slash Alice and Arnie’s guts open with a machete.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck fuck!” You cried, bawling your hands into fists, wandering down what felt like endless hallways. You both soon realised that you had been going in a circle. It didn’t make any sense, it felt like another dimension or a mirror maze, where everything looked the same, maybe even was the same. “Y/N.” You turned your head to face tommy. “What?” He looked at you confused. “I didn’t say anything.”

You were going to shake it off as you just imagining it, but then you heard it again. “Y/N!” This time you knew it wasn’t Tommy, it was a woman. “Hello?!” You yelled out, hoping that someone had finally come to your rescue, but Tommy just continued to look at you like you were crazy.

You strayed from Tommy’s side following as the voice repeated your name. “Where are you going?” Tommy yelled after you as you wandered, not bothering to pay any attention to his questions.

You followed the voice, bending through the same corridors and hallways, not knowing where you’d end up. It was when you twisted round one corner you halted in your steps. It was a huge room, far larger than any of the ones you had previously found. But the greatest way it stood out was the mass in the centre of the room.

It was dark and fleshy, like clumps of meat thrown into a pile. You gasped as you stood closer gaining a better look at the thing. It was alive. It rose up and down almost like it was breathing and it thumped like a beating heart. With each whisper of your name you grew closer, drawn to it. You reached your hand out transfixed, but when your hand melted into its flesh, you froze.

It all flashed through your brain so fast. Cyrus Miller, ruby lane, billy baker…Cindy Berman. It was every single one of those shadyside phycos, even Cindy. It was all of the pain, all of the suffering and all of the evil. You lifted your hand, a thick slime dragging with. You backed up slowly, expecting to hit a wall. You were soon proved wrong when you felt your body fly backwards.

You cried out as you landed with a thud, Tommy finally catching up to you, peering over to find you clutching your leg in pain. “Shit, are you okay?!”

He had jumped down helping to lift you from the pit. You sobbed, tears running down your cheeks like a broken faucet, your hands clutching at His shirt. Tommy held you running his finger gently through your hair, shushing you softly as you buried yourself into his warmth.

Tommy gently slipped from your hold, leaning down to examine the damage. It was bad. So bad, you could practically see the bone protruding from the skin. You felt your gut wrench at the sight causing you to lean over beside you, regurgitating your dinner onto the cold cave floor. “Don’t look, okay? Just look at me.” Tommy leant over wiping your mouth with his jacket. You nodded slowly, trying your best to keep your eyes locked with Tommy’s despite how hard your morbid curiosity urged you to look down. Ripping his plaid jacket into strips he looked up at you. “We’re gonna get out of here. You’re gonna get out of here. No matter what I do, I’m gonna make sure I protect you, just like I always have.”

“I love you so much Tommy. I’ve never and never will love someone the way I do you.” You lean into him pressing your foreheads together. “I can’t lose you, okay?” He nods sympathetically, pressing a light kiss to the slope of your nose.

“Do you remember those dates we’d go on, out to the forest at night, and we’d just lay there, staring up through the cracks in the trees?” You nod. “I want you to think about that, okay? I want you to think about how many more we’ll go on once we get out of here.”

You hold a tight grip on his arm as he wipes away at the area. “I’m gonna have to put it back into place now.”

You pleaded with him, as the tears started again. “Please, no. Please just leave me here. Just go and find help okay? I can’t do it Tommy, I can’t do it”

“Hey, hey, hey. C’mon, look at me.” He places his hand on your cheek, tilting your head to look him in the eye. “You're gonna be fine, okay? You just gotta focus right now.” You nod timidly, the tears starting to slow.

He holds the bottom of your calf with one hand and your heel with the other. “Just count to three and I’m gonna do it, okay baby?” He looks up at you, his soft words lulling your anxiety. You bite your knuckle nervously, unsure as to how you should answer, but the look of trust in his eyes persuades you easily. “Okay.”

You breathe in. “One, two-” You let out a blood curdling scream as a large crack rung out, bouncing against the walls of the cave. Your fist gripped Tommy’s forearm tightly as you cried out a series of various curses. “You fucking asshole.” You whine out in pain, letting out an airy laugh trying to brighten your rather dull circumstances.

“You're okay baby.” You wince as he wraps the piece of fabric he had ripped from his jacket around your leg, tying it tight enough to hold you together for the moment. You grabbed Tommy’s shoulder as he wrapped his arm around your waist lifting you from the ground. You hiss as you feel your leg throb from the sudden movement. “Do you think you’re able to stand?” Tommy watches as you wobble trying to stay grounded. You nod. “Yeah.” You had no choice and you both knew it, if you wanted to live, you’d have to.

You both started your journey, finally entering a new environment as you trudged deeper into the earth of Shadyside. Why did these tunnels even exist? The intricate details of the maze made it easy to come to the conclusion that they were man made, but by who? Not once had you ever heard of these tunnels, and by the looks of it, nobody else had either, despite nurse Lane of course.

“Be careful.” Tommy tightened his grip around you. “You might slip.”

“Okay.” You mumble, too exhausted to form a real answer. You looked around at the walls, floor and ceiling. The further the two of you walked, the denser this moss became. You felt a wave of familiarity but you couldn’t quite place it. Red moss…red moss! It hit you, Cindy! Her red stained shirt, she said it was from the moss in the outhouses. “Tommy! It’s the fucking outhouses! We fucking made it!” You would probably be jumping up and down with joy right now if it wasn’t for your broken leg.

You look up, spotting the out house toilet openings. Wow, real nice, you’re both sitting in Sunnyvale shit and piss right now. “Yeah, but how are we supposed to get out?” Tommy sighs looking up at the roughly 15 foot climb. “You can’t climb that.”

You look at him. “Yeah, but you might.”

“No. I’m sorry but no, I’m not leaving you down here, especially when there’s Cindy running around up there trying to kill us. C’mon let’s go, if we’re at the outhouses, we must be near to camp.” He directs you along but before you can both carry on your interrupted. “Did you hear that?!”

“No I-“

“Shush.” You both stayed quiet listening as to what caught your attention. It’s screaming. Someone is screaming from the outhouses. “Hey! Help! Please, we’re stuck down here!” You yell trying to get the attention of the voices.

The space grows quiet as the screaming halts, the both of you waiting nervously for any indication of life when a head pops out from one of the seat holes. “What the fuck are you guys doing in the toilets?!”

It was ziggy, Cindy's sister. “Ziggy..” you wonder if it’s right to tell her what’s happened to her sister but you decide against it, not wanting to put the girl in such an emotionally vulnerable state whilst she’s already physically. “Gary’s up here too!” She yells down as Gary’s head pops out another toilet hole. “Hey!” He yells, surprisingly light heartedly considering there’s a murderer running around camp butchering little kids with a fucking machete. “Can you get us out of this fucking toilet or not?!”

Gary had managed to make some sort of bucket contraption with some rope. “It’s just like You’re Gothel climbing up Rapunzel's hair, okay?!” He yelled down, lowering it down to you.

You're about to slip onto the contraption when you hear Ziggy's unfortunately very familiar screams, and before you know it Gary’s decapitated body lies beside you on the floor. You and Tommy let out an in sync gasp, him pulling you away into his chest, as to protect you from the image. “We’re gonna have to find another way out.”

You think to yourself. Alice…she had shown you something whilst you were robbing nurse lanes office with Arnie. “I know how.” You pull out the book that started this whole thing.

“Baby, I don’t get how that book is gonna help us, let’s be honest it’s some random witches and wizards bullshit written how many hundreds of years ago?”

“No, tommy.” You turn the book to him parting the pages. “It’s a map.” You rest the book on the floor, the two of you leaning over it. “It's a map of camp, you see over here, these x’s are the graves we found. And over here, that’s where we entered.” You point your finger on the page. “Here, there’s another exit. Mess hall.”

His eyes lighten. “Jesus, fuck! You’re so smart!” He pulls you in for a kiss.

—-

You sat, your back arched over as you watched Tommy laid on his back kicking open the vent that led to the mess hall when another scream rang out. You instantly knew that it was ziggy, far too acquainted with the tone of her screams.

“Tommy!” With one final kick the vent flew open, Tommy hauling himself through in a split second. “Don’t move, stay here! I’m gonna go help Ziggy.”

Tommy always cared so much for the kids at camp, you honestly weren’t surprised that he was willing to risk his life for one of them.

—povc—

Tommy barged through the doors of the mess hall, an all too familiar song ringing through the speakers, the noise made his head thump as it blared.

Tommy followed the screams, grabbing a mallet that lied on a nearby counter. Cindy stood beating at a supply closet door as ziggy screamed from within. Tommy pulled cindy's shoulder for her to face him as he swung the mallet into her jaw. Cindy tumbled to the ground as she spat a mouthful of blood and teeth onto the floor. Tommy hesitated holding the mallet in his hand, ready to strike Cindy. But before he could come to any decision Cindy grabbed her machete from the ground slicing at Tommy’s thigh.

Tommy dropped to the floor, his mallet sliding across the freshly mopped floor tiles, Cindy rising to her feet, towering over Tommy. Overpowered, he crawled backwards digging the heels of his hands into the cold tile floor. He was braced for impact when Cindy stopped turning around.

—povc—

You lunged at her digging the knife you found into her back, pulling it out as she turned to face you, plunging it into her chest over and over until she hit the floor unresponsive. You fell. You had finally reached your limit. Your leg was broken for fucks sake and you just murdered Cindy. Pure-hearted, hard working Cindy Berman. You plunged your knife deep into her chest until you split it down the middle. You dragged your body over to Tommy’s wrapping your arms around him, wetting his shirt as you became inconsolable. He held his hand at the back of your neck placing soft kisses onto the top of your head. “It’s okay baby, it’s okay. She’s dead now, we’re gonna be okay.”

You heard as ziggy opened the closet door, dropping to her knees at the sight of her sister dead on the floor. The red headed girl pulled her sister's body over to face her, wrapping her arms around Cindy crying into her cold lifeless body. You crawled over to the girl pulling her away from her sister's touch into yours. “I’m sorry.” You whispered.

The three of you struggled as you heard the last bell ring signalling that the bus would be leaving. Ziggy yelled out as the bus doors began to close. The wheels began to roll forwards but before it could depart a boy budged the doors open, calling out to her. “Ziggy!” You released your grip from the girl's side as she ran to him, embracing him. You rested your head on Tommy’s shoulder at the sight of the two. “I hope she’ll be okay.”

The two of you had found a place on the bus as Ziggy sat with you fellow councillor Nick goode. Finally being able to breathe, you rest your head on Tommy’s shoulder. “I’m so glad you're okay.” You look up at him smiling at his words. “Maybe you're the one who really needs protecting, without me you’d be dead meat.” You press your lips together, smiling softly into the kiss. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if I had lost you.”

Your eyes wandered to the window watching as the camp nightwing sign slowly floated away out of sight. Finally it was over.

———

After the accident medics treated and hospitalised many of the camp nightwing campers and counselors such as you and Tommy. Your leg was thankfully saved. They said if not for Tommy it probably would have had to be amputated due to infection.

It was two months since that night, you still had to use crutches but besides that, you made a speedy recovery alongside tommy. Although he was in a much less critical condition than you and was discharged within a few days, he still spent every night in the hospital with you.

You laid beside Tommy his leg slotted between yours as the velvet underground played softly in the background. You run your fingers through his hair slowly as he whines quietly into your chest. It finally felt like the first time since that day that you both could finally relax.

You pulled away from his touch leaning over him, kissing his lips softly. “You look so pretty.” You hum. He smiles into the kiss. “Not as much as you, baby.”

You lifted yourself straddling Tommy’s hips, deepening the kiss as your hands ran down playing with the hem of his shirt, travelling underneath. He pulls away, his hand rubbing your thigh. “Are you sure? I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

“I’m okay.” You reassure him, pressing soft kisses along his collarbone. You removed your shirt as Tommy’s hands floated up to your waist.

“God, you're so beautiful.” He mumbles, kissing up your chest slowly as you take off your pyjama shorts, throwing them to the floor.

You lean down unbuttoning Tommy’s jeans, taking him in your hand. Tommy twitches at the contact as you align himself to you. You lower yourself onto him slowly as his hands hold a firm grip on your lower back. Tommy lays his head back, his hips thrusting up into you.

You shiver as you lift yourself up and down, your thighs shaking from the stimulation. His thrusts hardened, your soft whimpers of his name encouraging him. “You look so fucking good right now.” He gripped your waist helping you keep a steady pace.

You steadied yourself, leaning your arms out pressing your hands against his chest as you felt yourself near your climax. “Shit, Tommy I’m gonna come.” You whined under your breath.

“Don’t worry baby, me too.” He runs his hands down your back lovingly.

You threw your head back as you felt Tommy’s hand wander down edging you on further, your breath quivering at the touch. You felt his hips buckle beneath you as he reached his peak, yours following soon after.

You sighed your body collapsing onto his chest. “I love yours so much.” You mumble into his skin as he presses a soft kiss against your forehead.

—-

It was the 16th anniversary since that day at nightwing, the two of you still happily together. Despite the permanent scar that night had left on the both of you mentally and physically, you both managed to stay strong, the event probably making the two of you even closer than you already were before.

Every year instead of hiding from the memories of that night, you both embrace it. Tommy’s favourite way to do this was to ‘reenact your youths’ in his words by driving the two of you out to the forest, where you would’ve spent so many nights together when you were younger.

You would open the sunroof and lay out the seats creating a little bed for the two of you. Probably not the safest thing the two of you could do, but most definitely the sweetest.

The two of you laid there staring up at the trees, resting your head on Tommy’s chest, your arm draped across his abdomen. Looking up at him you pressed a small kiss to the slope of his nose, pressing your heads together. The moonlight glazed over his cheeks, giving him a paler look. “You look so beautiful.”

—-

The car ride home was quiet but the atmosphere felt soft and comforting as Tommy rested his hand on your inner thigh. The velvet underground played softly on the radio as your eyes gazed out at the passing scenery.

[tangle-of-messy-thoughts]

A rant about Destiny (and why I love Jaskier)

Please note, so far I've only seen the show. I know almost nothing about the books/games, so what I write refers only to the Netflix series.

I also understand that my point of view about Destiny is probably a bit unusual for a fan of the show, since it... kinda goes against its whole ethos, I guess? Unless I completely misunderstood the series. That wouldn't surprise me, I'm not exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer.

Also also, I'm writing based on the assumption that Jaskier is in love with Geralt.

I wanted to start this post by raving about the bath scene in Of Banquets, Bastards and Burials. I'll get to it later.

Instead, I decided to start by writing about how soft I get every time I think how Jaskier is the only important person in Geralt's life who actively chose him, and continued choosing him, again and again, and agreed to go with him, despite his heartbreak, when Geralt asked him after breaking him out of jail.

Geralt, Ciri and Yennefer were brought together by Destiny, the Law of Surprise, and a wish.

On the other hand, it was Jaskier that approached Geralt first, Jaskier who insisted on walking the Path with him, and Jaskier who went back and back to him, every year (even though, as the original lyrics for Her Sweet Kiss strongly imply, not without some doubts and internal struggle).

I used to get sad at the idea that Jaskier doesn't seem to be getting to be a part of the Family of Destiny. Now my thoughts are... a bit more complicated.

It starts - unsurprisingly - with the famous bath scene.

I was struck as I was rewatching the scene (for a fanfic that'll probably never see the light of the day, hah!) by the tension in the dialogue between "want" and "need".

Jaskier talks exclusively about "want".

He asks Geralt about the future; he asks what he'd like to do once he's done with his "monster hunting nonsense".

There is no hypothetical in the way he addresses Geralt; there is no "what would you do if you could...", no "what would you have done if you...".

It is only natural for him to assume there must be something Geralt may want for himself, some future when he gets to be just himself, Geralt, not a witcher, but whoever he wants to be, and has no trouble telling him there might be someone out there who might want (as opposed to need) him (hint: it's Jaskier).

Geralt, on the other hand, frames any possible entanglement of his in terms of "need".

The difference between their attitude is especially striking, I think, in these two lines:

J: Maybe someone out there will WANT you.

G: I NEED no one. And the last thing I want is someone NEEDING me.

He also doesn't seem to see any future for himself except keeping doing what he does until he gets too old and slow and gets himself killed.

As for Jaskier, even after Geralt's answer to his question about whether witchers ever retire, he seems to implicitly discard the idea that the answer might be "no", that there's nothing else to it, no possibility for Geralt to be anybody else, to choose any other path.

Jaskier's horizon for Geralt is open, full of possibilities, of choices to be made; Geralt's is closed, a predetermined path.

In a way, it makes sense that in this instance Jaskier is all about "want". He's young, sanguine, ambitious, ebullient, and a bit of a hedonist: he likes music, good ale, nice food, and falling in love (and in bed) impulsively but undoubtedly sincerely all the time.

And yet, it's not something that he brings up only when he's happy and carefree. As many other fans have already pointed out, he keeps asking Geralt what he wants - as opposed to what he has to do, or what his destiny is - even at his most vulnerable, at his angriest, at his most heartbroken, even when he throws back at Geralt the much-detested monicker "Butcher".

Jaskier is, ultimately, a man of choice in a narrative that relies so heavily on lives bound together by magic or by forces beyond human control.

And, well, the thing is, I kinda dislike Chosen One, Child of Destiny narratives. I hate Fate or Necessity as the driving force behind a story, and Destiny is... not a concept I'm comfortable with.

Not because it's lazy (though sometimes it is, I think) but because It hurts me. I can truly enjoy it only as long as I don't get invested in the characters of the story; then, I feel trapped.

Other people hear 'destiny' and think about prophecy, and a glorious though often painful march towards something good, something great.

Fulfill your Destiny. Become what, who you were always meant to be. Find your purpose. Save the world.

As for me, all I hear is that line from T.S. Eliot, "O dark dark dark. They all go into the dark", I hear the rumbling of a boulder that was put into motion by a force bigger than yourself long before you were born, and will go on rolling well after it has crushed you and turned your bones into dust.

Even benevolent destinies, the ones about saving the world, feel stifling, like you only get to choose how to navigate the territory as you move from one checkpoint to the other on the path that has already been determined for you, hoping you don't stumble along the way, like you get to choose the music, but not your destination.

As far as Geralt is concerned, Renfri tells him about "the girl in the forest" being his destiny in ep. 1, which takes place at a time when Queen Calanthe was more or less Ciri's age, therefore long before Ciri was even born; given Calanthe's age at that time, it's likely not even Pavetta was born.

Even though Renfri doesn't say Ciri's name, the reference to "the girl in the forest" is pretty specific, and doesn't sound like a prophecy about some nebulous, unspecified descendent of Lara Dorren; so long in the past, Ciri is already a fixed point in Geralt's life.

Don't get me wrong. Ciri does need Geralt to protect her and teach her to protect herself, and she does need Yennefer to teach her how to control and use the Chaos that is within her, and I know, I know it's for Ciri's own good, and for the good of the Continent and possibly the world.

Yet, if Destiny has to separate Ciri from her parents, kill her family, and burn down Cintra to get her and Geralt together, it will. If it has to magically bind Yennefer's fate, without her having any say in the matter, to Geralt's, so that she can become her surrogate mother and mentor, it will.

And you know, maybe I'm mistaken about Jaskier after all. Maybe Geralt wasn't completely wrong when he blamed the bard for all his problems. If not because of Jaskier, Geralt would never have attended Princess Pavetta's betrothal and invoked the Law of Surprise; if not because of Jaskier, he would never have needed Yennefer's help and he would never have met her and tied their destinies together.

How ironic, to think of Jaskier, the man of choice, as the linchpin of Destiny.

Yes, it's possible that Destiny used him to tighten its coils around Geralt and Ciri and Yennefer, to bring them together, to put all the pieces where they're supposed to be, and then discarded him, like on the mountain, when he was left to sleep during the action, or when his plea to Geralt to see him, to stop being a witcher and choose to break free from his monster hunting, even only for a little while, went unanswered.

But the story is this.

The Witcher and his Child Surprise and the Sorceress will find each other and become a family and defeat together the Evil that threatens the world.

Jaskier's little, reckless, imperfect human love is useless, it serves no purpose in the grand scheme of things. It does not fit whis supposed role in the story - the lovable sidekick, the comic relief, the butt of the joke.

And yet, here we are.

Jaskier looks at Geralt, reaching out to him across the gulf between want and need, choice and fate, offering him the idea, the possibility, that he can be wanted, not just needed, that he can be chosen, not just destined, and that he can exist beyond the boundaries of Fate, asking him to claim some part of his life for himself.

Ultimately, as much as I'd like otherwise, it's very likely that Jaskier's love will always be unrequited, unheard and unseen by the very person that love is directed to.

However, a fight is not less heroic or meaningful because it's against an unbeatable foe.

His love is a small act of defiance against Fate, though not on purpose, a loose thread, a crack in a narrative that has no place for it, a pesky anomaly.

I guess this is why I love Jaskier, and what I feel is his love for Geralt, so much: it's a challenge to try and fight for who we are and we want to be, even if it goes against what the story of our lives is supposed to be; it's the hope that we can choose to go against the current, even if it hurts, even if we may never get a happy ending; that we can get to be more, different, than who the rest of the world tells us we should be.

And this, I think, it's beautiful.

-----

EDIT: I belatedly realized I accidentally posted what was supposed to be just yet another draft version.

It serves me right for staying up until 2 am fiddling with my smartphone, I guess. Oh well.

Anyway, I decided to fix only a few things and leave it at that, hoping I haven't made too much a fool of myself.

[dorizardthewizard]

@wavebiders enabled my Fate Hate like a month ago so here it is, I’ve used the anti tag so block that if you don’t want to see Fate criticism.

Anyway after watching it thoroughly I’ve realised there’s something fascinatingly sad about the thought process that went behind writing the characters. Like, I always wondered how they could get it so wrong to the point where the Winx are literally opposites of their cartoon selves, but now I think they basically just skimmed their wiki pages, identified a character’s secondary trait, then based their whole character around it by twisting it to fit into clichés and stereotypes. So what trait did they use to butcher each character? (warning for lots of sarcasm in this post)...

Bloom: Being the main character. Fate!Bloom actively worked to make the world spin around her; she never thought for a second that pursuing her personal mission to find the truth about her origins could put everyone in danger with the Burned Ones (it did), and she never offered to help any of her friends or even checked up on them. Hell, she has no relationship with any of the girls except Aisha, and that consists entirely of Aisha helping Bloom and keeping her in check. There’s a scene where Terra starts to open up about her insecurities and Bloom literally just sits there and stares at her until Terra changes the subject to Bloom’s problems!

Cartoon Bloom would never. A huge part of her character was that she cared so deeply for her friends: every time she went ballistic with power back in S1 happened because someone she loved was in danger; she gave the Ring of Solaria to the Trix to save Stella; she assured Aisha of her place in their group when she was upset… she could be stubborn and impulsive, sure, but she always put her friends first.

Stella: Her girliness. She’s blonde, royalty, and a fashionista. Fate writers zoned in on that, and, of course, decided that anyone with those qualities has got to be a stuck-up mean girl. The originality, the progressiveness of it all 😍😍 This warped Fate!Stella into being the literal opposite of OG Stella, whose best qualities were her friendly cheerfulness and how ride-or-die she was for her friends. Yes, OG Stella could be insensitive at times, but she always worked to make up for it. Fate!Stella on the other hand, doesn’t apologise once to a single person for her behaviour, and we’re supposed to believe she’s good friends with them in the end? Throwing in a sob story doesn’t make it an organic development, writers.

Musa: Her tomboyishness. A trait that has admittedly faded a bit since her season 1 jeans and trainers look, but still. Okay, so she’s gonna be more masculine. What does masculine mean? Oh, yes! Being super aloof and rude to others! It’s hilarious because OG Musa was probably the most emotional one of the group, she felt deeply and was moved when she could feel the music in peoples’ hearts. Fate!Musa does have that connection to other peoples’ emotions, but she resents it.

Aisha: Honestly it looks like the writers thought being black is a personality trait. And that obviously means you have to be the support for your white main character, duh! Meanwhile in the original, it was the Winx that were helping Aisha – they assisted in rescuing the pixies, welcomed her into their group and comforted her when she needed it. Of course, she’s very independent and capable on her own, but it was nice to see a strong female character that wasn’t cold and standoffish, and her vulnerabilities gave her more nuance and layers to her character.

Aisha’s loneliness was a big part of her character but in Fate, she’s the one who constantly reaches out to others. You could kind of connect this to the original, like how she spied on Helia (something she wasn’t entirely comfortable with) just to stay friends with Flora, but that connection is never made because her entire backstory of being a princess growing up in a strict environment gets flushed down the toilet. Nothing they do with her character in season 2 will change that.

Flora (try to tell me they didn’t mean for Terra to be Flora and I will steal your kneecaps): Her gentle nature? Okay, she doesn’t have much depth in the cartoon either, but I do find it funny how Fate!Flora’s niceness is seen as a nuisance to everyone else, and she’s constantly being disrespected. OG Flora was a bit of a mum friend to the rest, and while that didn’t mean the others never got annoyed at her, she most definitely was not the punching bag of the group. Instead, everyone admired her for her kindness, sensitivity and grace. Why did that have to change when they made her plus-sized? Oh wait, nevermind.

Tecna: I’m honestly surprised they didn’t include her, with how fake-woke they were being. I mean, it’s perfect - y’all had a girl with short pink hair and you didn’t make her the radical tumblr feminist redditors make up posts about? Maybe I should give them more credit, they didn’t zero in on her pink hair after all but noticed her interest in STEM and her logical, less emotional nature. Of course, girls like that don’t exist in real life, and Fate is REALISTIC.

[skullsandwineglasses]

Arsenal Military Academy (2019) Full Review

My first impressions of episodes 1-13 can be found here. I think I was a little dubious at first, but now that I’ve finished the drama, I have to say that I really enjoyed it. This is going to be a short(ish) review because I just don’t have much to complain about. [SPOILERS AHEAD]

The Leads

Xu Kai shines as Gu Yanzhen. Much more than he did as Mo Qing in The Legends. Gu Yanzhen is just such a fun character. While yes, he is an overgrown and spoiled rich kid, he has a great character arc. He learns how to be responsible, caring, devoted, and considerate. Whether it’s love or serving his country, once he’s devoted to something, he’ll put his whole heart into it, which makes him a great friend and leader. And despite his maturation and all that he’s been through, he still stays cheeky and playful until the end. 

That’s what I really like about this drama. It’s consistent. Both in terms of plot and character. And for cdramas, consistency is something that’s often butchered. This drama is 48 episodes long, which was perfect for developing all the plot points in the story. At first I was worried about the length. But the plot is so well-paced. There was no filler, and if there was, then I didn’t even noticed because I enjoyed all of the scenes and interactions between the characters. 

Bai Lu was great at switching between cross-dressing as her brother, and being her “true” self. She carried off being both masculine and feminine, and I enjoyed seeing these two sides of her character. What I also appreciated about this drama is how even when she is revealed to be a girl, nothing really changes in terms of how she acts or how she’s treated by others. Her classmates still call her by her brother’s name. She wears the same clothes, talks the same, walks the same. Of course, by that point, most people have already found out, but for the characters who haven’t found out yet, they don’t dwell on this revelation. They don’t say sexist things about her appearance or mannerisms. They treat her the same as they always have. At first, I was worried that the drama would have a dramatic plot shift after her identity is officially revealed, but there wasn’t a shift. Her reveal was actually not that big of a plot point. (Yes, she was put in prison and accused of killing the chief, but this was resolved in like 2-3 episodes). It blended in seamless with the rest of the plot, and there were bigger issues in the story to address. 

In my First Impressions review, I complained that Xie Xiang was a bit of a flat character. I still think she’s a little underwhelming in comparison to some of the other characters in the drama, but she was watchable and relatable, and she definitely grew on me more as the drama went on. I also applaud her for recognizing her feelings for Gu Yanzhen (I was worried that the drama would make her be conflicted between them), but she did frustrate me a little with how she couldn’t be upfront with Shen Junshan and just strung him along. 

Again, I liked seeing the different sides of her character. Xie Xiang was never a tomboy growing up. She likes theatre and the arts. She likes acting, dancing, and singing. She likes dressing up and accessorizing (when appropriate). Her best friend, Tan Xiao Jun, acts as a foil and shows us what Xie Xiang is really like (or used to be before joining the academy). But her brother was a huge influence and inspiration for her. She learned how to fight from him. She learned what is means to be righteous and fight for justice from him. But she doesn’t want to become him; she just wants to fulfill his dreams. In the academy, she isn’t the best student, nor does she want to be. She doesn’t want to compete with the others, but she just wants to best the best cadet that she can be. It’s all about challenging herself and pushing her own limits, not comparing herself to everyone else in the class.  

Supporting Characters

All of the secondary characters are great. Side characters and villains all served a unique purpose. Villains, such as Jin Xin Rong and the bully in the academy, were sympathetic characters. They all had their own backstories and development arcs, but they didn’t detract from the focus on the leads. In fact, the drama never strayed from the leads, unlike some cdramas were sometimes the focus would move away from the protagonists as the drama dragged on. Importantly, all the subplots were interwoven, and each mission that they completed progressed the plot and developed character relationships. I had a lot of praise for Qu Manting in my First Impressions review, so I won’t go into it again here, but she was a great second female lead (even though I did wish that she had less scenes with Gu Yanzhen). I was also surprised that she’s my age (and also Xu Kai’s age). She’s such a mature and steady actor. 

Edit: Just found out that Toby Lee who played Shen Junshan was the guy in Soulmate?? Didn’t recognize him at all. 

Plot

I loved the humour in this drama. It was quick, witty, and smart. But the drama did take a serious turn in the last arc where there were deaths of 3 prominent supporting characters, which was really surprising. I thought the drama would be a light-hearted comedy all the way through. So when I saw that it was possible for a prominent supporting character to die, I realized that there could be some real and serious consequences for characters in the drama. 

Speaking of deaths, I was also surprised by the amount of violence and liberal killing in the drama. The cadets at the academy never hesitated to kill, and murdering people never affected them. The writers justified the deaths by dismissing the victims as being traitors to the country, whether they were just a driver or security guard for the Japanese or a Japanese nurse or doctor. If they were affiliated with the Japanese and got in the way of a mission, then the leads would kill them. At times it felt like a video game because the cadets would use so much gunpowder to just plow through anyone who was an inconvenience to the mission. The drama also really advocates revenge, which was also really shocking. Revenge can be engaging to watch when it’s fictional, but I don’t morally agree with revenge, so I was surprised that a drama with so much killing and a revenge fetish was allowed to get past censorship. 

Overall, the plot was really good. The drama rarely ever dragged, except for maybe episodes 22-26 where it felt like Gu Yanzhen didn’t really have anything to do with the main plot, but the drama recovers quickly after that. Episodes 16 and 31 are probably my favourite in terms of interactions between the ML and FL. 17-22 are when they’re separated and bond with the supporting leads instead. That was clearly a purposeful move by the writers. They gave us peak sweetness between the leads and then separated them immediately afterwards. Those episodes made me worry that they would be angst, but there wasn’t. Those episodes showed that even when the leads were separated and went through hardships with someone else, they still thought about each other. Again, another example of how every mission progresses the plot and develops character. 

In terms of the romantic plot, I would say that about three quarters of the drama is about characters liking people who don’t like them back, and what you get is a convoluted love rectangle that expands to a pentagon. What I like about Gu Yanzhen is that while he can be childish and obnoxious, he gives Xie Xiang a lot of space. There were some scenes when either Huang Song or Shen Junshan was trying to pursue her and I was like, why isn’t Gu Yanzhen here to intervene? But then I realize that it’s actually good that he isn’t constantly stalking her. Gu Yanzhen may seem possessive at the academy, but he doesn’t prevent her from doing things either on or off campus. On the other hand, when Shen Junshan figures out Xie Xiang’s true identity, he acts entitled to her to the point where it feels manipulative. He would tell Xie Liang Chen that he’s meeting Xie Xiang for lunch, knowing that this would prompt Xie Xiang to dress up and rush off campus to meet him. He changed her room without asking her first, saying it was for her own good. I might have to rewatch the earlier episodes, but I don’t think Gu Yanzhen ever used her secret to underhandedly leverage power against her like that. I don’t think he ever tried to “test” her. It was only after she found out that he knew when he started to teasingly blackmail her with her secret in order to get her to wash his clothes or be nice to him, but this was done upfront to her face, so she knows what she’s dealing with. And also despite being constantly annoyed by him, Xie Xiang feels very comfortable with him. She trusts him. She knows that no matter what, he would never share her secret, so she was able to be herself with him from the beginning. In contrast, there was always a distance and formality between Xie Xiang and Shen Junshan, even though they went through a lot together.

The bigger question is why Gu Yanzhen fell for Xie Xiang instead of Qu Manting. I think it has to do with how Gu Yanzhen likes who he is whenever he’s with Xie Xiang. Manting is too much like his playboy self, so it always feels like he’s putting on an act or playing a game when he’s with her. They clash too much and both have huge egos, even though Manting has done so much for him and has seen him at his most vulnerable. But Xie Xiang is someone whom he wants to unconditionally protect and support. He teases and flirts with her, knowing that he’ll get a scolding and a beating. He wants to expend energy with Xie Xiang, but is fatigued with Manting. Xie Xiang is simple, down-to-earth, and has a purpose. She’s everything he isn’t. She anchors him, while he gets her to open and loosen up in what is otherwise a threatening and uptight environment. A classic example of how opposites attract. 

The Ending

The main character of this drama is the academy. Go figure since that’s the drama’s name. So it made sense that the final shot would be of the academy. Gu Yanzhen and Xie Xiang are shown walking off into the sunset just before that. And while I was really curious to see what their life would be like beyond the academy (I mean, what skills do they even have besides military prowess? What are they even going to do in terms of careers?), it made sense that the last shot we see of them is them leaving the academy. Their future is left to the imagination, almost like a fairy tale. That’s because their story is only one of many that comes out the academy. Their future is uncertain, but the future of the academy is certain. The academy is like a beacon, and it will continue to be here even long after the leads are gone. 

The deaths of Huang Song and Instructor Guo were just tragic. Huang Song never got to find out Xie Xiang’s true identity despite being her closest friend, and he had such a bright future and so many goals. Instructor Guo, who spent the last 2 decades in depression, never got to have his happily ever after. Li Wen Zhong finally redeemed himself, and yet the writers had him sacrifice himself. I thought their deaths were needless, but I did see how their deaths had narrative purpose. It still really, really sucks though.

I think I’ll give this drama an 8.5/10 if not a 9/10. It’s been a while since I last watched a drama with consistent pacing. Wish I could watch this drama for the first time again. 

Going to end the review with some pictures. 

The worldbuilding was really immersive thanks to the costumes, colour grading, OST, and set designs. 

Look at the power stances of this ensemble cast. They’re unstoppable. 

I can’t get over these two. Such a different dynamic from The Legends, but still so much chemistry. 

And deleted scenes though!! I don’t remember this sit-up scene in the drama. 

[daddywanken0bi]

Armor

word count: 1.7k

author: Allie

warnings: female reader, but none other than that. it’s fluffy :)

a/n: oh my gosh it’s been so long. Jess and I have been working like crazy this semester, but we’re finally on break. And this one, for some reason, took forever to write. I still don’t think it’s perfect, but I don’t want to keep y’all waiting any longer. 

Obi Wan x Mandalorian!reader

requested by @the-mandalorian-clone-lover​

Armor

Your armor didn’t used to feel this heavy.

It was designed to be light weight, flexible and silent in combat. It was precisely tailored to your body with chrome plating and acute edges. It used to be something you relied on and trusted to protect your most vital organs. But now, as the red paint chipped to reveal the true blue underneath, it only felt like a burden, a customized reminder of a distantly past life. You probably offended someone wearing it still, but you didn’t really care at this point. The menacing helmet was enough to prevent people from approaching you - that was the last thing you needed.

So you kept it, wore it with some sort of false pride that was more akin to stubbornness than anything else. If you were honest with yourself, you’d acknowledge the comfort it provided - a shield that prevented you from facing the Galaxy and coming to terms with your past. But life as a bounty hunter was far from honest, and you were good at your job.

Your armor hung especially low on your shoulders as you landed back on Coruscant. The target you’d been hunting for a week slipped through your fingers again. Every time you thought you had them, the bastard squirmed out of your grasp. And to add insult to injury, a colleague (to put it politely) captured the shmuck just as you were about to close in. Dejected and bitter, you returned to the city planet with very little of your pride intact.

However, as soon your boots hit the pavement, all of the tension released from your shoulders. You exhaled and tilted your gaze to the magnificent temple piercing the horizon. Beneath your chest plate, your heart reached for your lover that resided there. It wouldn’t be long until he found you, you knew, as the Force drew him to you like a moth to a flame. You shook your head, and beneath your helmet, a smile tugged at your lips.

The thought of reuniting with his sapphire eyes kept your shoulders square as you traipsed through the muddy streets. You surveyed its inhabitants, noting how any of them could be your next target. On your left, an elderly man played the ommni box, his hat on the ground for credits. On some strange level, you empathized with him: you both resorted to your talents to make a living. To your right, a couple stumbled out of a bar, giggling and collapsing on top of one another. Acidic jealousy bubbled in your stomach as you watched, but shame quickly suppressed it. It was unfair of you to be envious. Loving a Jedi was difficult, but you knew you were just as difficult to love, if not more.  

You shook your head and his eyes flashed in your mind once more. You smiled again at the reminder, and  the old man and the couple disintegrated back into the hustle and bustle. You kept your head high for the final few blocks that separated you from your building, but as soon as the elevator doors sealed behind you, you slumped against the wall. You sighed as you peeled off your helmet, grateful to release some of the weight. The hum of the lift was lulling and you hardly fought the closing of your eyelids. But the hiss of the lift doors opening reminded you that you weren’t at your apartment yet, so you heaved yourself off the wall. You could barely keep your eyes open as you made your way down the hallway. All you could think about was how wonderful your bed would feel as soon as you got the door open...if only you could get the door open.

“Are you having trouble with your key code, dear one?”

Your eyes few wide.

You swung your head, and sure enough, your lover stood, propped against the wall with his arms crossed deliciously over his chest. A smiled played on his beautiful lips a you registered him there - just as you predicted.

“Obi Wan,” You crossed to him in two steps and all but collapsed into his arms. “How long have you been here?”

“Oh, not too long.” He whispered into your dirty hair, his smile evident in his voice. You released him, eager to see that smile with your own eyes. He nearly took your breath away. Wow, was he remarkable.

You returned to your door, finally energized enough to tap in the (correct) code. You reached for him with your free hand (your helmet tucked under the other), a silent gesture for him to follow you inside. He did, and he watched as you discarded your helmet and made a b-line for the kitchen. You reached for the kettle.

“It’s good to see you.”

“You, too,” Obi Wan said as he leaned against the counter. He crossed his arms over his chest, restrained excitement bubbling in his eyes. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t posses the same look. You focused back in the kettle.

“I nearly had him, you know.”

“I believe you.”

“If only that stupid patron didn’t spill their drink and make an entire scene-“

“You must be exhausted,” You hadn’t noticed his proximity until he slipped his hand under yours, taking it off the stove ignition. You peered up him.

“No more than usual,” You chuckled.

“Lets get this armor off you.”

“Obi Wan-“

“Come.”

You knew better than to argue with him. So you followed as he lead you out of the kitchen, down the hall, and into your bedroom. He dropped your hand and crossed to pull fresh clothes from your dresser. You took to opportunity to start loosening the clasps on your chest plate.

“Please,” Obi Wan took your hands again as soon as he noticed. “Let me.”

Resigning, you let your hands fall to your sides. He resumed your previous chore, gentle and patient as ever. He unbuckled the last clasp and mumbled a small “up,” urging you to lift your arms so he could pull the armor over your head. He then moved to the metal on your arms, unhinging their grasp on your biceps and forearms. He finished with your gloves - he placed a soft kiss to each palm as they were revealed.

“Sit.” He nodded towards the bed and you did as he asked. He knelt before you and began unlacing your boots. He pulled each one off, massaging your toes before removing your socks. He worked next on your shin guards, then pulled you up to stand once they were shed. He remained kneeling, peeling the last bits of armor protecting your legs to the floor. You stepped out of them, and Obi Wan gathered the discarded pieces and placed them into the drawers of your dresser.

You just admired him, joy radiating from your bones as he moved so gracefully around your room.

“Do you need help changing your clothes, too?” He teased. “I thought you would be capable of doing that yourself?” You giggled.

“I’m just so tired, Obi Wan. Would you please assist me?” You feigned, biting back a grin. His eyes rolled to the side, but his laugh gave him away.

“You’re lucky you’re beautiful.” He reached for zipper down the front of your bodysuit.

“That’s the only reason you love me-” As he pulled it down your shoulders, “-my appearance.” He pursed his lips.

“Oh no, darling.” He pressed a kiss to your cheek, “I love your wit,” a kiss to your jaw, “Your humor,” to your shoulder, “Your no-nonsense attitude,” your collar bone, “Your strength,” the center of your chest, “Your flaws,” your chin…

“You,” He hovered just above your lips, “in entirety.”

You gazed at him, pure adoration in his eyes. You traced his cheekbone with your fingertips and kissed him with all the love you had to give. For he was the only thing in the galaxy that gave you purpose anymore, the least you could do was love him in return.

You drew away from him for breath, he rested his forehead on yours. You forgot for a moment that you were half dressed, until a draft shivered up your arms. Obi Wan noticed, and reached for the clean shirt he pulled out earlier. He pulled it over your head, blissful smiles permanent on both of your faces. You peeled the rest of your body suit off your legs, and replaced it with fresh lounge pants.

“There.” Obi Wan sighed, content, “Better?”

“Much.” You smiled. “Now it’s your turn, Master General.”

“Sweetheart, I’m alri-“

“It’s simply unfair that I stand so unprotected in front of you.” You placed your hands on his shoulder pads. You raised your eyebrow, and repeated the same phrase , “Let me?”

He didn’t protest, he only chuckled and nodded encouragingly. You mirrored his previous actions - drawing his chest plate over his head, unclasping his arm guards, and pulling his gloves. However, you placed a kiss to his knuckles instead of his palm. He wore significantly less armor than you, so you were done much faster than he was, but you wanted to savor the moment as he did. You caressed the linen hugging his chest, grateful to feel him near you again. You ghosted your lips at the crest of his collar bone, the small glimpse of him his robes provided.

Obi Wan lifted your chin with his finger, an endearing gesture that always sent butterflies to your stomach - this he knew. You melted into him, closed your eyes, rendered yourself completely vulnerable.

“So beautiful…” He murmured, barely audible. You leaned closer to him, expecting to feel the weight of his lips on yours-

A scream rang through the apartment. You relaxed after you realized it was only the obnoxious screech of the kettle echoing from the kitchen. The moment with your love now absolutely butchered, your head fell onto his chest, laughs and giggles spilling from both of your lips. Your head tilted back up at him.

“Care for a cup of tea?”

He grabbed your cheeks and smacked a sloppy, playful kiss to your lips.

“Absolutely!”

Wiping the kiss from your mouth and stumbling with laughter, you followed Obi Wan out of the bed room, your lost bounty forgotten with your discarded armor.

[aki-mochi]

Ch. 4: The Truth

WARNING: contains vulgar and sensitive scenes of human butchering

Several hours have passed since Levi had taken down Zeke and dragged him to where Y/n was. His emotions were going fucking haywire in his mind. He loved Y/n. God, did he love her. They’ve been together for four years since the tragic 57th expedition. She was the only survivor of his Special Operations Squad, other than Eren. The countless nights he spent with her in his arms as she slept, the long hours of quiet talking as she played with his hair to lure him to sleep due to his insomnia, the passionate nights as he loved her between the crisp white sheets of his bed, and when they both ventured beyond Wall Maria and saw the ocean for the first time. She meant everything to him and was there when he needed her the most, and he for her.

But then he recalled her betrayal back in the forest. It pissed him off to no end. He was hurt. He was supposed to trust her and yet she ran away with that fucking bastard of a monkey, leaving him to die at the hands of his comrades who were turned into pure Titans because of that damn wine. Levi growled lowly to himself as he glanced back towards Y/n and Zeke as they remained unconscious, secretly relieved that she survived the explosion caused by Zeke.

Driving the wagon as the sun started to set, his ears perked as his ashen eyes glanced over where Y/n was laying as she stirred from her unconscious state. Pulling at the reins, he stopped his horse and climbed into the back of the wagon and watched as she winced in pain when she sat up, probably from the massive headache she might have or from when Zeke forced himself onto her. Her eyes roamed about to clear her vision before they landed on the stoic man before her.

“Levi?”

“Oh, so you wanna talk now?” He snarled. “You’re lucky you survived with only minor injuries. But this one won’t be minor.” He said as he stood from his spot and stalked his way over to her form with a menacing glare.

“Levi…what are you doing? Please stop, you’re scaring me.” Y/n quivered when he got in front of her.

“I can’t help it. I’ve been waiting to do this since I saw you run away with Zeke. So damn right you should be scared of me. I hope you know who is in control.” He stared down at her with a cold look. It happened in a blur as Levi kicked her harshly in the torso. Her eyes widened in utter pain as her breath was knocked out of her before collapsing down onto her side. Her arms held her stomach as she wheezed and violently coughed. Tears pricked her eyes as she glanced up at the man she loved through the tresses of her hair as he stared down at her with a malice glare.

“Levi….why….?” Y/n asked between breaths.

“What do you mean? It should be fairly obvious, traitor.”

Levi saw the look on her face, seeing how heartbroken she looked after he had kicked her. He understood now. “Oh, I see….you think I saved you…because you think I love you, am I right?”

He knelt down and reached to move her hair away from her face so he could get a good look at her to make sure she was listening. “Let me get this through your head, princess. I only saved you….so I could be the one to kill you with my bare hands.” He glared.

Y/n’s eyes widened at his words. Kill her with his bare hands? She sacrificed everything, even her own friends, to keep him alive and he wants to kill her. She was trying to protect her lover from the hands of Zeke and his tainted wine but all he saw her as was a traitor. She couldn’t really blame him, she would see herself as a traitor too if she was in his shoes. But she had to try explaining the situation to him so he would understand why she had done what she did. She grit her teeth and tightly shut her eyes as tears fell down her face. She laid her head against the floor of the wagon, not having the strength to speak her words as the pain in her stomach was too great from where he kicked her.

Levi furrowed his brows at her, his heart tugging harshly at the sight of her but knew it was for a good reason. Standing up, he tied her hands behind her back and let her be for now as he walked back over to his seat at the front of the wagon. He watched her until Zeke started to stir from his spot.

“Morning shitbag.” He snarled.

Zeke’s vision focused as he tried to move. Looking down, he saw that his arms are tied securely behind his back as well as a thunder spear sticking out of his abdomen while the string was tied around his neck. Gritting his teeth, he felt an unpleasant feeling in his stomach before puking his guts out onto the floor of the wagon by his head. Y/n cringed from the smell and wanted to throw up herself before Levi’s voice spoke to her.

“Let me show you something Y/n. This is how you take care of the enemy. Tie them up and put them in a position where they can’t move or else they’ll get blown up.” He pointed as her eyes fixated on him as he spoke. She said nothing as she lowered her head.

“But Y/n, I want you to tell me something.” Levi grunted as he drew out a blade from his gear and came closer to her once again.

“Levi, what are you-!“ Her sentence was cut short as he held the blade up against her neck, the pressure forceful enough to make a cut along her skin as crimson blood dribbled out. Fear stretched itself on her face as she looked up at him, a harsh glare on his own face.

“I just wanna know where’d you get the idea that you could run away from me and survive. Because looking at you right now makes me want to kill you.” His voice was cold and demanding.

“Levi, please! Untie me and let me explain!” Y/n begged.

“Explain huh? What could you possibly explain now? How could you let him poison our comrades? Or how you left me to die?” His voice grew louder as he spoke; moving the blade away from her neck and raising it above his head as he prepared to strike.

“Either way there’s nothing to explain now over what you did for this hairy bastard!” He yelled as the blade came down to slash Zeke’s feet in half, making him scream in agony from the pain.

Tears welled in his eyes as he spoke with a raspy voice. “See Y/n? I told you he’d hate you even after you saved his life.”

At this, Levi’s glare slightly faltered. “What did you just say hairball?”

It was uncomfortably quiet between the three of them. Levi tried to understand what Zeke had said before he looked towards Y/n for an explanation. “Y/n, what is he talking about?”

“You don’t get it, do you? I did it for you! He told me he wouldn’t give you the tainted wine if I went with him! I love you Levi! I just wanted you safe!” She cried.

Levi just huffed at her response. “Stop talking nonsense. I saw you two in the carriage! Don’t lie to me-!”

“No, you don’t understand!” Y/n cut him off. “I tried to stop him but when he took my gun I was vulnerable!”

His eyes widened at her words. “Vulnerable? Is that what happened?” He looked over at Zeke who laid in his spot, he could see the smugness behind his eyes even if he was in pain from getting his feet sliced off. Levi’s glare darkened. It took every ounce of both their strength not to shiver in fear. Levi’s never looked so pissed, and it’s been a while since Y/n had seen that look.

“You took advantage of her?! You asshole!” He quickly raised his blade once more and started to mercilessly cut at Zeke’s legs. “HOW *slice* DARE *slice* YOU *slice* TOUCH *slice* HER *slice*!? If I can’t kill you right now, I’ll slice you up into tiny pieces!” He yelled as he continued to cut inch by inch of his legs off his body like he was a chunk of raw meat. Zeke screamed, his voice getting louder with each painful cut. Y/n couldn’t watch the bloody scene as she closed her eyes and turned her head away, wanting to cover her ears to mute out the sounds if her hands weren’t tied behind her back.

Levi panted slightly when he was finished before giving a growl. “And I’ll take you where you’ll meet your end.”

As Zeke went unconscious again, Levi clicked his tongue and went back to the front of the wagon. Grabbing the reins of his horse, he snapped them to make the horse move towards his destination. Levi drove for a good hour, watching as the sun gave its last little rays of light before dark clouds embedded the sky. Feeling a few drops of rain fall onto his clothes, he stopped the wagon for a minute and climbed into the back of the wagon towards Y/n. His eyes softened at her sleeping form. Even though his heart ached for what she did, he wasn’t heartless. After gently cutting the rope from her wrists, he took off his green scout cloak and covered her up to somewhat shield her from the downpour that was about to come. He moved a few strands of her loose hair away from her face before stroking her cheek with the back of his fingers as she slept. Quietly, not to wake her, Levi made his way back to the front of the wagon to continue his drive when it began to rain.

Letting out a sigh, he glanced back at her once more as he spoke softly. “Don’t worry, Y/n. He can’t hurt you if I’m here. So, just keep sleeping…I’ll protect you…”

[butterflies-dragons]

Hey love your metas! I want to ask about Sansa dealing with her sexual assaults and trauma. The way she mismemorised the traumatic events, do you think she gonna misremember any other similar traumatic events in future? Do you think her family will help her remember these events n dealing with it?

Hello Anon,

Thank you ♡

I recently wrote about Sansa dealing with trauma, particularly sexual assault trauma. 

Here is the post for anyone interested. 

And here is another one.  

Almost every meta, essay, analysis, etc, about the so-called “un-kiss”, has been written from a sexual perspective.  For the majority of this fandom, either shippers or not, Sansa remembering a kiss instead of the sexual assault she suffered and later having nightmares with her assaulter being in bed with her, CLEARLY means that she is having sexual fantasies with her assaulter, that she is expressing her dark, repressed, hidden, deepest desires about her assaulter, that all this is part of her sexual awakening.  

But every time GRRM has been asked about the subject, either from a sexual perspective or not, he consistently tagged Sansa misremembering things and events as “unreliable narrator.” Lets see.

In chronological order:

JUNE 26, 2001

SF, TARGARYENS, VALYRIA, SANSA, MARTELLS, AND MORE

[GRRM is asked about Sansa misremembering the name of Joffrey’s sword.]

The Lion’s Paw / Lion’s Tooth business, on the other hand, is intentional. A small touch of the unreliable narrator. I was trying to establish that the memories of my viewpoint characters are not infallible. Sansa is simply remembering it wrong. A very minor thing (you are the only one to catch it to date), but it was meant to set the stage for a much more important lapse in memory. You will see, in A STORM OF SWORDS and later volumes, that Sansa remembers the Hound kissing her the night he came to her bedroom… but if you look at the scene, he never does. That will eventually mean something, but just now it’s a subtle touch, something most of the readers may not even pick up on.

[Source]

It is very curious that the person who misremembered Joffrey’s sword name wasn’t Sansa, it was Arya:

The big man shrugged. "I was Joffrey's sworn shield. The butcher's boy attacked a prince of the blood."

"That's a lie!" Arya squirmed in Harwin's grip. "It was me. I hit Joffrey and threw Lion's Paw in the river. Mycah just ran away, like I told him."

—A Storm of Swords - Arya VI

But despite the unreliable narrator’s identity confusion, what I understand from George’s answer is that misremembering a minor detail like Joff’s sword name “it was meant to set the stage for a much more important lapse in memory,” like the “un-kiss” for example, that George mentioned next. 

At the same time, the “un-kiss” will eventually mean something, but just now it’s a subtle touch, something most of the readers may not even pick up on.

Take note that George’s answer is from 2001, after ASOS was published, so by that time he already knew about the existence of the shippers that want Sansa with the Hound being together in a romantic/sexual relationship. You can check this fact by reading the questions and answers from 1999 compiled in this post.  But he still mentioned that the meaning of the “un-kiss” was “a subtle touch, something most of the readers may not even pick up on.” 

So much for the so-called “evident”, “canon”, “endgame“ ship and ASOS being “their ship’s book”  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  

* * *

OCTOBER 05, 2002

SANSA’S MEMORY

[Note: This mail has been edited for brevity.]

… this is an inconsistency with ASoS more than an outright error. In ASoS, Sansa thinks that the Hound kissed her before leaving her room and King’s Landing. In ACoK, no kiss is mentioned in the scene, though Sansa did think that he was about to do so.

Well, not every inconsistency is a mistake, actually. Some are quite intentional. File this one under “unreliable narrator” and feel free to ponder its meaning...

[Source]

Here George’s answer is more succinct: the “un-kiss” is not a mistake, it was intentional, file this one under “unreliable narrator.”

* * *

NOVEMBER 27, 2007

GEORGE R.R. MARTIN ANSWERS YOUR QUESTIONS

Here’s a really particular question (which I realize means it probably won’t get asked in a general interview): In A Storm of Swords, there is a chapter early on where Sansa is thinking back to the scene at the end of A Clash of Kings when The Hound came into her room during the battle. She thinks in the chapter about how he kissed her, but in the scene in A Clash of Kings, this actually didn’t happen. Was that a typo or something? —Valdora

GRRM: It’s not a typo. It is something! [Laughs] ”Unreliable narrator” is the key phrase there. The second scene is from Sansa’s thoughts. And what does that reveal about her psychologically? I try to be subtle about these things.

[Source]

Here George gave us little clues:

[The un-kiss] is from Sansa’s thoughts [an internal thought for herself, she is not telling anyone that the Hound kissed her]

What does that reveal about her psychologically? 

I try to be subtle about these things

Also take note how GRRM repeatedly highlights the word “subtle” regarding the “un-kiss”:

but just now it’s a subtle touch (After ASOS but before AFFC)

I try to be subtle about these things (Shortly after AFFC)

This is a stark contrast with the majority of this fandom, either shippers or not, that interpret and believe that Sansa remembering a kiss instead of the sexual assault she suffered and later having nightmares with her assaulter being in bed with her, CLEARLY has to do with her sexual awakening, that the “un-kiss” means that she is having sexual fantasies with her assaulter, that she is expressing her dark, repressed, hidden, deepest desires about her assaulter.  

And I wonder, since Sansa has similar dreams with Ilyn Payne and often feels naked around him:

As the headsman looked at her, his pale colorless eyes seemed to strip the clothes away from her, and then the skin, leaving her soul naked before him. Still silent, he turned and walked away.

—A Game of Thrones - Sansa I

She dreamt of footsteps on the tower stair, an ominous scraping of leather on stone as a man climbed slowly toward her bedchamber, step by step. All she could do was huddle behind her door and listen, trembling, as he came closer and closer. It was Ser Ilyn Payne, she knew, coming for her with Ice in his hand, coming to take her head. There was no place to run, no place to hide, no way to bar the door. Finally the footsteps stopped and she knew he was just outside, standing there silent with his dead eyes and his long pocked face. That was when she realized she was naked. She crouched down, trying to cover herself with her hands, as her door began to swing open, creaking, the point of the greatsword poking through …

She woke murmuring, “Please, please, I’ll be good, I’ll be good, please don’t,” but there was no one to hear.

—A Game of Thrones - Sansa VI

Once she dreamed it was still her marrying Joff, not Margaery, and on their wedding night he turned into the headsman Ilyn Payne. 

—A Storm of Swords - Sansa II

Does this mean that Sansa is having sexual fantasies with her father’s executioner as well? Does this mean that Sansa has dark, repressed, hidden, deepest desires about Ilyn Payne too?

I think that the “un-kiss” has to do with Sansa’s internal thoughts, how her mind works, how her mind deals with unpleasant/disturbing events. So in order to decipher its meaning we must ask ourselves about Sansa’s psychology, she is a deeply traumatized child by many events: Her direwolf’s death, her father’s death, the disillusionment of her Prince and the Queen as high moral figures, the disillusionment of the knights as fair heroes, the psychological, physical and sexual abuse she has suffered so far.  The “un-kiss” is a subtlety from the author, this can’t be as easy as “Sansa has the hots for the Hound”. 

Sansa: All she wanted was for things to be nice and pretty, the way they were in the songs. —A Game of Thrones - Sansa I

Sansa: Almost raped by the Hound during the night of the Blackwater Battle, he invaded her bedroom, pushed her to bed, put a dagger at her throat, requested a song from her under threat of death.  

There is a song called “Off to Gulltown” that says:

Off to Gulltown to see the fair maid, heigh-ho, heigh-ho. I’ll steal a sweet kiss with the point of my blade, heigh-ho, heigh-ho. I’ll make her my love and we’ll rest in the shade, heigh-ho, heigh-ho.

Sansa: The Hound kissed me during the night of the Blackwater Battle.

Fandom/Shippers: Sansa fancies the Hound uhhhhhhhhh

Sansa: Has unpleasant memories of the “un-kiss” feeling soiled by it. 

Sansa: Has a nightmare about Tyrion and the Hound in bed with her the night after Marillion attempted to rape her.

Fandom/Shippers: Sansa fancies the Hound and have fun dreams with him uhhhhhhhhhh

It's really all that easy?

George hates to be predictable:

I spoke earlier about how predictable stories bore me. And we’ve all, you know, seen the stories where the hero, you know, he seems to get in trouble—he’s all alone, he’s surrounded by twenty foes, but he’s the hero! You know he’s going to get out of it; you’re not really engaged. I want you to be engaged. I want you to feel what the viewpoint character is feeling. If the viewpoint character is in trouble, I want you to be afraid, I want you not to know whether he’s going to get out of it. And I think the only way to do that is establish very early in the books that you’re playing for real, that anyone can die, and if the character’s in a life or death situation that he might not survive it. That these are not superheroes, these are not Indiana Jones. These are fallible human beings who are vulnerable to death and betrayal and all that. To my mind, that makes the stories much more suspenseful and gripping and emotionally involving.

(...)

I also liked the idea of the story not being predictable. Too much of fantasy is too predictable, you know? They say we write the stories that we want to read. And I was a reader long before I was a writer, and as a reader I love stories that take me to places that I don’t expect, and I hate stories where you read the first five pages and you know exactly what’s going to happen for the rest of the book. Those stories bore me very quickly, and I don’t want to bore my readers or indeed bore myself in writing, so I try to, you know, create a fairly complicated thing that’s full of twists and surprises and unexpected turns, but all of them rooted hopefully in human nature and arising out of the characters and the desires and wishes and dreams of those characters.

—A Dance With Dragons: George R. R. Martin

And he is always distracting us:

There are some mysteries in these books. There are some things that I’m gonna reveal later on that I’m planting clues for. There are some later plot twists that I’m foreshadowing. There are things that are gonna happen in Book 5 and Book 6 and Book 7 where I’ve planted a seed for it in Book 1. But I don’t necessarily want to give away my hand. So, what do I do when I plant the seed? Well, I plant the seed, but I try to do a little literary sleight of hand, and while I’m planting the seed, my other hand is up there waving and is distracting you with some flashy bit of wordplay or something that’s going on in the foreground, while the seed is being planted in the background. So hopefully the seed is there, the foreshadowing is there, but maybe you won’t notice it, because it’s surrounded by so many other things.

—The George R. R. Martin Podcast, Episode 7 (9:17)  

Transcription provided by this post.

Think about it!    

* * *

DECEMBER 2016 ASKING GEORGE R.R. MARTIN ABOUT SAN/SAN

My question is regarding Sansa Stark. Her sexuality has evolved through every book and yet the memory that seems to stick the more with her in this regard is the night of the Blackwater. So I was wondering if you can expand on your view on what this is, since as before that night her interactions with Sandor Clegane weren’t really physical.

The night of the Blackwater, yes. Ahhh… Well, I’m not going to give you a straight answer on that hahaha… Uhmmm, but I would say that ahhh… you know a television show and a book each has its own strengths and weaknesses; there a re tools that are available to me as a novelist, that are not available to people doing a television show. And of course there are tools available to them, that are not available to a novelist, I mean they can lay in a soundtrack, they can do special effects, they can do amazing things that I can’t do, I just have words on paper. What can I do, well I can use things like the internal narrative, I can take you inside of territories… thoughts, which you can’t do in a TV show… Ahhh… You just have the words they speak, you see them from outside because the camera is external, while prose is internal, and I have the device known as “unreliable narrator”… Ahhh… Which again, they don’t have. So, think about those two aspects when you consider that night of the Blackwater.

[Source]

Here George was asked directly, by a shipper, about the “un-kiss” and Sansa’s sexuality, and he stuck with his classic “unreliable narrator” answer.

George also repeated these things:

I can use things like the internal narrative

I can take you inside of territories… thoughts

Prose is internal

I have the device known as “unreliable narrator

His comparison between a TV Show and a Book is very telling: 

You just have the words they speak, you see them from outside because the camera is external, while prose is internal.

Also, it seems that he is done with questions about Sansa’s sexuality, as you can see from the chronology of questions and answers in this post. 

So, the “un-kiss” and any other misremembering from Sansa has to do with her psychological state, not with her sexuality in particular.

Sansa did something similar with the Trident incident, where her direwolf Lady, part of her soul, was killed by her own father using his sword Ice. 

She remembered the facts exactly as they happened when she told her father about it. But later she started to blame Arya and Cersei, but exculpates Joffrey, her future husband:  

Sansa and Septa Mordane were given places of high honor, to the left of the raised dais where the king himself sat beside his queen. When Prince Joffrey seated himself to her right, she felt her throat tighten. He had not spoken a word to her since the awful thing had happened, and she had not dared to speak to him. At first she thought she hated him for what they'd done to Lady, but after Sansa had wept her eyes dry, she told herself that it had not been Joffrey's doing, not truly. The queen had done it; she was the one to hate, her and Arya. Nothing bad would have happened except for Arya.

—A Game of Thrones - Sansa II

She accommodates and compartmentalize a lot as a way to cope and survive every unpleasant, disturbing and traumatic event that already happened to her in her short 13 years.  

So to answer your specific questions:

Do you think she gonna misremember any other similar traumatic events in future?

I think so. This is sad because it means that Sansa will experience even more  traumatic events that she will have to deal with... 

We need to wait to know the “un-kiss” true meaning. She romanticizes the Hound’s rape attempt against her and made it into a kiss, just like a song called “Off to Gulltown” that describes a non-con/sexual abuse situation against a maid, like her.

Inside her mind Sansa decided to remember the good things that men like Tyrion and the Hound did for her.  In her first AFFC chapter (Sansa I), she thinks:    

When Joff had her beaten, the Imp defended her. 

When the mob sought to rape her, the Hound carried her to safety. 

When the Lannisters wed her to Tyrion against her will, Ser Garlan the Gallant gave her comfort.

Only in her nightmares the true slipped out:

And she dreamed of her wedding night too, of Tyrion's eyes devouring her as she undressed. Only then he was bigger than Tyrion had any right to be, and when he climbed into the bed his face was scarred only on one side. "I'll have a song from you," he rasped, and Sansa woke and found the old blind dog beside her once again. "I wish that you were Lady," she said. 

—A Storm of Swords - Sansa VI

But after Marillion’s attack, Littlefinger forced kiss and Lysas’s death she is starting to join the dots.  For an instance, when she hears Littlerfinger using the same sexual innuendo than Marillion, “Let me warm you”, she realizes that Petyr Baelish is bad news:

Let me warm you, Sansa. Take off those gloves, give me your hands."

"I won't." He sounded almost like Marillion, the night he'd gotten so drunk at the wedding. Only this time Lothor Brune would not appear to save her; Ser Lothor was Petyr's man. "You shouldn't kiss me. I might have been your own daughter . . ."

—A Storm of Swords - Sansa VII

The whole passage from her first AFFC chapter (Sansa I) is very revealing: 

The things her aunt had said just before she fell still troubled Sansa greatly. "Ravings," Petyr called them. "My wife was mad, you saw that for yourself." And so she had. All I did was build a snow castle, and she meant to push me out the Moon Door. Petyr saved me. He loved my mother well, and . . .

And her? How could she doubt it? He had saved her.

He saved Alayne, his daughter, a voice within her whispered. But she was Sansa too . . . and sometimes it seemed to her that the Lord Protector was two people as well. He was Petyr, her protector, warm and funny and gentle . . . but he was also Littlefinger, the lord she'd known at King's Landing, smiling slyly and stroking his beard as he whispered in Queen Cersei's ear. And Littlefinger was no friend of hers. When Joff had her beaten, the Imp defended her, not Littlefinger. When the mob sought to rape her, the Hound carried her to safety, not Littlefinger. When the Lannisters wed her to Tyrion against her will, Ser Garlan the Gallant gave her comfort, not Littlefinger. Littlefinger never lifted so much as his little finger for her.

Except to get me out. He did that for me. I thought it was Ser Dontos, my poor old drunken Florian, but it was Petyr all the while. Littlefinger was only a mask he had to wear. Only sometimes Sansa found it hard to tell where the man ended and the mask began. Littlefinger and Lord Petyr looked so very much alike. She would have fled them both, perhaps, but there was nowhere for her to go. Winterfell was burned and desolate, Bran and Rickon dead and cold. Robb had been betrayed and murdered at the Twins, along with their lady mother. Tyrion had been put to death for killing Joffrey, and if she ever returned to King's Landing the queen would have her head as well. The aunt she'd hoped would keep her safe had tried to murder her instead. Her uncle Edmure was a captive of the Freys, while her great-uncle the Blackfish was under siege at Riverrun. I have no place but here, Sansa thought miserably, and no true friend but Petyr.

—A Feast for Crows - Sansa I

As you can see Sansa is starting to realize that the persons that help her, can also hurt her and have ulterior motives to help her, that the help is not unconditional and always has a price.  

So I think she will reach a point where she would be able to do the same with all her abusers, she will realize that men like Tyrion, the Hound, Dontos, etc, have helped her but at the same time have hurt her, Tyrion accepted to marry her and almost commit marital rape, the Hound attempted to rape her and repeatedly abuse her psychologically and physically, even Dontos, always requesting kisses.  

Do you think her family will help her remember these events and dealing with it?

Most probably. Meeting Jeyne Poole again, for example. Knowing what Littlefinger really did to her, and all his crimes against House Stark.

I really hope for that moment of realization, when she can stop lying to herself, when she can clearly see all those men as her abusers and that she owns them nothing. 

George, please! She had enough already... Give her some peace and quite! Give her true friends and her family back! 

Thanks for your message.

[itsonlystrange]

STRANGER THINGS THEORIZERS/ANALYIZERS, ANSWER THIS QUESTION PLEASE!

How do you think season four will end? There’s talk of a “middle of the action” cliff hanger, having season five pick up directly after episode five with no break in between. I don’t see how that would happen as usually the end of the season has a “final battle”, and I don’t see how a season could pick up directly off of that and then immediately go back into the action for season five.

Usually with ST, the first 2-3 episodes are relatively uneventful. It’s usually one or two characters that are on to the mystery, and there really isn’t a major event until episode four.

Examples being:

Season 1: End of e3, Will’s “body” was found.

Season 2: end of e3, Will gets possessed

Season 3: end of e3, Will realizes the Mind Flayer is back.

So, there’s a pattern here. You get regular domestic, school, normal related stuff in the beginning, until the end of episode three/ episode four, where revalations are made.

So, with this theoretical “middle of the action, end of season cliff hanger”, it would be confusing as to where it could pick up, and how?

Usually with st we get three acts. The first being the relatively normal start of the season. Only one or two characters are on to something. The second act is in the middle of the season, where most characters are preparing to confront the main issue of the season. This is where discoveries are. Then the third act is where they finally confront that main issue. Then there’s a 1-3 month time jump where things are back to normal.

But for this theoretical season five ending, that wouldn’t happen. There’d be an ambiguous ending, maybe one where everyone is hanging on for dear life, and then credits. And then season five picks up right there. Which would just totally destroy the construct the writers have created for their seasons. Not only for act three of season four, but for all of season five.

There would be no “calm before the storm” or an ‘act one’ if we just pick up in the middle of the action again. It would mean that season five is essentially just a part two to season four, which I don’t see working out well for stranger things. They have a layout that they’ve used, and I feel like doing something this spontaneous, especially for the end of the show, right now, seems off. The final season of any show is undoubtedly one of the most important. It doesn’t matter if the first or middle seasons were fantastic or bland, if the final season doesn’t do better and doesn’t end with a WHAM, then the show will go down in history that way. The final season determines how a show is remembered, how the critics remember it, and doing something like this for a show as big as stranger things this late in the game seems risky, not to say they wouldn’t do it. Because if they did, it would mean they had had this planned for awhile.

I’d also like to add that I am not opposed to this idea! we don’t know how it will end which is the exciting part! This is all speculation. I think that they would 100% be able to tell a compelling story while not following the format they have previously. However, it is definitely something the writers would have to be cautious of. Especially since ST seems to take big gaps in between seasons, having season five pick up directly after season four, while in real life we’ve waited a good 12-18 months, it would definitely leave some fans feeling disconnected. Especially because a lot of fan favorite moments are those “calm before the storm” montages or episodes. Hell, the shopping mall scene from season three was so well done and almost every fan I know enjoyed it. So having it pick up in the middle of the act could potentially be jeoprodizing that, and also potentially losing character development. A lot of times in tv shows (not necessarily in stranger things, but sometimes it has happened!) a character will be so caught up In the drama or the main event of the season that they will lose their character development. Season two of ST did it best, season 3 did it worst. In season 2 (and one!) they were able to keep that compelling drama and the main supernatural events but also keep the characters developing even in the last episodes, rather than have the drama fill up the whole episode and the characters own thoughts to the point where a majority of that characters personality for the end of the season solely revolves around the drama. But in seasons one and two, they were able to have characters develop, and do better, and progress, even while the major cinematic events were happening. However In season three, we got a lack of character growth, especially in those final episodes where character growth had previously been so prevalent. Don’t get me wrong, characters DID develop, but for a season that’s tag line was “one summer can change everything.” not much changed- character wise. Sure, plot lines came and go, new ones were introduced, but the characters stayed relatively the same. No revelations were made. For example: Will had a plot line that was just utterly dropped. They spent so long building that dramatic sequence up and his fight with Mike and the destruction of castle byers and then they just left it. Which, I understand, was done of purpose. They obviously left those lose ends untied up for season four. Or how about El: she got a scene which supposedly was supposed to prove how she was independent and didn’t need mike (because she totally doesn’t and is a baddie!) but then in the end crawls right back to him, despite obviously not caring about their break up previously and seeming much happier without him. Lucas didn’t progress at all. Mike stayed the same, except he realized he totally didn’t like El at the end of season 3. But other than that, Mike didn’t change much. He didn’t get any scenes where he realized “oh! I was such a jerk!” He just CONTINUED to be that way. Max didn’t progress too much. I was hoping she would open up or allow herself to be vulnerable, or maybe she could realize why she is so harsh sometimes, other things that would have made for a great arc. Dustin didn’t change much, he just got smarter, I guess? And so on so forth. Everyone is relatively the same. We never really see Nancy and Jon resolve the fight, besides the elevator scene. When they BOTH had great points in that fight and I agree that they should both work on those issues. And the only thing that really changed was the Byers moving and Hopper ‘dying.’

Now, I may be going off the rails here, sorry. But my point is: we KNOW they can do great character development while also keeping that science fiction action and mystery we love. But we also know they can butcher it and not even realize !

There are definitely pros and cons of doing this cliffhanger thing. Of course, nobody really knows what will happen. We still have to factor in new characters, or if these new characters will even be apart of season five at all. We could be left with sort of a half middle of the action cliff hanger, similar to season one or two, where the audience knows that mr mind flayer is back, but the characters don’t. Maybe we won’t even get a month time skip, and maybe we’ll get only a few days! Maybe season five will only pick up one month after season four, instead of 6 months to a year! We genuinely don’t know!

Season three was the weakest, but it wasn’t bad. They showed their diversity, and that they could switch things up if needed. All I hope for is good character growth at this point. And if too much action jeoprodizes the character growth (like season three!) then I don’t want it! But I know it’s totally possible to have both. They did it twice, they can do it again! I have high hopes for season four and it’s ending. And in no way am I against the idea of us kinda getting a shot and fire cliffhanger ending that bleeds into season 5.

Anyways, I doubt this will happen. I feel like they will follow the format they usually use. Give us a time jump in the last 20 minutes of season four, everything seems fine, season five picks up a couple months later, everything’s fine for a few episodes, WHAM! Action, ending, epilogue, roll credits. Not to say I wouldn’t enjoy a ‘middle of the action’ ending cliffhanger or whatever, I probably would! (Hoping they are able to balance it out this time instead of jumbling all the ‘growth’ into the first and last bits of the season.) This is not meant to say that I would dislike something like this. In fact, other shows have done something similar and I enjoyed them even more then a regularl time skip! I’m doing my best to show both sides of the argument here. I know a lot of people have their own opinions on this topic.

I’ll enjoy whatever they do, but I’d like to hear your opinions on this! How do you think season four will end?

[offtopicoverload]

Howdy there!! Who are the li’s you fancy the most from LITG??

hi! thanks for the ask!

i honestly dunno who’s my top answer, cuz they’re all interesting in their own way

I’m only going to talk about female LIs cuz the only male routes I’ve finished are Bobby and Jake, and I tapped through most of Jake and only ended with Bobby on my first run cuz I never unlocked Marisol, so I’m not the best source lol

Talia:

She’s just so chill but has no problem standing up for MC, she has her back no matter what

Which, like, what a queen

She’s the original and only one of 4 LIs, which maybe it’s just me, but for a game based on an incredibly heteronormative reality show, allowing representation for queer audiences from launch is such a big deal and so cool to me, so Talia’s kind of special in my mind

She was also my first LI so nostalgia points

And she’s such an easy LI, not much drama on her route outside of Lucy, just her having MC’s back as the boys make themselves look like idiots

And she has so much potential, like I know some people think her only personality trait is fancying MC, which I mean, is a little fair, but there’s so many opportunities for her in fics and headcanons to develop the good amount of information we got on her in 13 days

I absolutely love how self-aware and confident she is

She just went for what she wanted, struggled a bit with commitment at first, because who wouldn’t, but after that it was smooth sailing

Like obviously what she said in the Beach Hut at the beginning of the season wasn’t great for MC, but she knew exactly what she wanted out of her time on the show

She was confident in herself and her sexuality so much so that she was just down to have a fling with a girl and not worry about how it would effect the show

And then she *coupled up* with that same girl, not even giving a shit about the rules or anything

A queen

Allegra:

I know she’s not an official LI, but her arc is what got me into writing so she gets a million points for that

I love what could have been done with her progression if she was given an actual route, I’m a sucker for some good enemies to lovers, but alas, she’s canonically a bad bitch with a lot of internalised homophobia yet enough confidence to ask MC out

I still love her

Marisol:

I know so many people hate her, and I get it, but I do really like her growth

Maybe it’s cuz I’m pretty analytical too, but her analyses never bothered me or anything, and now that I’ve played her route so many times, it’s pretty obvious that that’s a defense mechanism, and I understand that

She very much so has a “figure their weaknesses out before they have a chance to figure mine out” attitude, and I’m 99% positive it’s because of the ex that Elisa reminded her of

So not only has she been burned in the past, I’m willing to bet it was by the only woman she’s been in a serious relationship with

I really have no problem with her commitment issues, it’s understandable, and I can really empathise with her fear of coming out, it’s absolutely terrifying even if you’ve accepted it and bought a flag, saying the words can be really difficult

My biggest issue is her entitlement and immaturity, I guess?

Like her using Graham to make MC jealous just feels like an excuse to crack on with him and still have MC available for when she’s ready

I understand her being scared to couple up, but playing games to distract herself just made things with MC worse

And unless youre on her route, and sometimes even when you are, it’s clear to me that she expects things and has no problem saying what they are, but going after them is a problem?

Like her going after Lurik even though they don’t have a connection, or Gary even when he’s with Hannah

But then it never works and she gets sad and I melt because I’m weak

ALSO, can I just say how awful it is that Lucas and Henrik don’t pick her unless they have to???

Like cmon she deserves MC after that

And when they finally couple up? And she’s all soft? The GROWTH ohmygod

Anyway I love who Marisol became, maybe not everything she started out as, but definitely the person she ended the season as, more confident and self assured and willing to be vulnerable

It’s precious

Elisa:

I still haven’t done an Elisa route

I tried to a couple months ago, but dumping Marisol felt so cruel, what the hell was Fusebox thinking with that?? 

I do really like that they learned from their mistake though, even if they went in the opposite direction

From what I’ve seen of Elisa, she can be pretty sweet, I’ve seen her described as a Lucas-Bobby hybrid, and while that’s not the most interesting personality to me, I will say that she’s a really cool character that FB messed up on

Why did they make her a straight up villain???

And why ONLY her???

None of the other female LIs have been villains or had such a complete 180

Like her going from shouting at Chelsea, who is literally meant to be MC’s ride or die and the person outside of your LI that youre supposed to want to defend and avenge, to “i cant even sleep because im pining so hard”

I know the treatment of black women has been discussed before, specifically in regards to Hope and Erikah, and it is by no means my place to speak on it, but I definitely think something’s going on with Elisa

Anywayyyy, I love her archetype

The celebrity and influencer has so much potential, to the point that I wrote a one shot without even knowing her lmao 

And she’s so confident in a way that’s so different from Marisol

She doesn’t even care if MC’s happily coupled up, she WILL get in her pants and I respect that

In conclusion, Fusebox did her dirty and I’m probably going to try and retcon some canon for her in the future

Lottie:

Ohmygod

Lottie

A goth babe

Lottie

Yeah, anyway, so I love her

Her growth is just unbeatable in my opinion

Yeah, she still has her flaws by the end of the season, but she went from ready to rip everyone’s throat out to biting her tongue around Hannah

And her and MC???

And the development between them??? 

Ugh

No matter what way you swing it, you’ve either got best friends to lovers or enemies to lovers and I adore both

And her aesthetic is one of my favourites, I’m alt myself and having a character like that is just so cool

My Runaways MC is a ball of sunshine with some hidden darkness specifically because Lottie’s such a dark cloud but can start shining with the right person, and that’s my absolute favourite trope

But man were the wedding episodes a cop out

Why couldn’t they give her the Noah treatment? Or the single treatment? Where they just get together after the show? Same with Hannah, why are they giving such an intense confession after who knows how long of literally nothing, like no communication even????

Don’t get me wrong, I kinda simultaneously love it for the angst and yearning, but it just… makes no sense?

So yeah, amazing bat lady that I seriously vibe with and wish my MC could have wifed up

Hannah:

I know this is a little controversial buuuut

I fucking love Hannah

But only OGHannah, Returning Hannah was butchered and I will never let that go

And it was such a toxic message too, that she needed to change herself and her appearance just to get a guy to like her?

Fuck that, Original Hannah was amazing and perfect exactly as she was

I love her trope, too, the naivety and how obvious and clear it was that she’s still learning about the world and relationships, to the point that it’s going to get her in trouble

And her obsession with fairy tales? 

Fucking adorable ohmygod

I started a fic a while ago that I think I’m gonna scrap, that just indulged in the fairy tale metaphors and stuff because I just love how cute it is lmao

If she wasn’t dumped, I think she could have had amazing growth alongside Lottie, and their friendship/kinda, probably, most-definitely-if-MC’s-not-there-more-than-a-friendship growing together would have been so good

In an alternate reality Hope was dumped instead, and that helps me sleep at night

I firmly stand by the fact that Noah should have been the deciding factor between Hope and Hannah/MC, where Lottie said something that screwed with his head earlier in the day to make sure her friends were safe

Noah should have saved Hannah/MC and Hope should have returned with Rocco, hellbent on revenge and proving herself

That would have been so good for Noah stans and such good drama, that actually made perfect sense

Hope was fully expecting that she’d get picked by Noah because they’d spent three days attached at the hip and then to just… not have that happen. It would have driven her insane and if there was then a scene with MC where she just like, gives up

Like she’s spent the past two days grafting Noah but he won’t make up his mind and she’s just done and MC can comfort her or fight with her and you just get to humanize her make her vulnerable and hurting and I fucking WISH they did something like that, even for RHannah

And Hannah’s growth in the Villa would have been so amazing

I think her idea of a perfect guy is definitely too much, and I’m not advocating that she settles by any means, just that she could have learned that there are things more important than money

That conversation on day 1 where you choose between money, kindness, and intelligence still baffles me

Like why are you a gold digger Hannah?!?!

Why don’t you just want a Prince/ss Charming???

Her and Hope should have swapped and I don’t understand why they weren’t

I mean, I do really like Hope, but Hannah’s just so cute and has so much to learn and her struggling in the Villa just to have a lightbulb moment with MC would have been precious and now I want to write it dammit

Anyway, Hannah is adorable and had so much potential and she never should have returned if they were just going to scrap everything that made her Hannah, except for snooty literature

I wanna listen to her rattle on about Belle and Mulan and every other Disney Princess and what they meant for representation and progress in media and then compare them to their original stories like a dweeb and I would have melted on the spot

Like yes, please tell me more about how gruesome Cinderella is

She should have shown up at the finale and hugged MC and been innocent and sweet so I could have just lost my shit for like a half hour

But stan OGHannah, burn RHannah

AJ:

Adorable, precious, denied an arc outside of coming out

I am not exaggerating when I say that I cried at 4:30 in the morning at her blushing face when playing the first two days

It’s just so fucking cute and I’m a sap and I don’t know why it made me cry, but it did okay?!

And her coming out was such good representation!!! By far the best thing in Boat Party, and I’m so proud of the progress FB’s made in queer representation at the very least

I know she’s pretty one dimensional, but most of S3 is unfortunately

Her being available right off the bat was also such a win, I’m positive it’s the reason she had so many stans

If her and Yasmin had switched or her and Lily, they would have been the ones that were dominating Reddit polls and stuff

And I know she’s written as masc but I just can’t really see it? Like I can’t see her in a dress, but outside of a few clothing items, I guess I just can’t see it? Maybe androgynous is more the word for my image of her, like definitely a mix

She’ll wear a skirt under the right circumstances, but never a dress, a crop top with a flannel, her prom outfit that’s like a frilly jumpsuit, stuff like that? idk im not a lesbian

Her route for me was so glitchy, but I know that if MC’s stolen from her by Yasmin, Tai, or Ciaran, she has some really cute scenes and I wish I could have seen them

And I know some people were ragging on her for the eyelash at the end of the scene but I thought that was just a perfect callback - maybe it’s the writer in me

Basically, AJ’s adorable and why did Ciaran have to split her and MC up, not cool dude

Yasmin:

I forgot I was doing a Yasmin route a while ago, but from what I’ve seen and played, she’s really sweet 

I hate that she’s almost nonexistent outside of her route

Give us a mysterious musician friend, you cowards!

I saw that she sings to MC on the final date and damn is that cute

Her eyeshadow kinda throws me off, but her stuffed animal makes up for it

And I’m salty that Yasmin the Lamb disappeared too, that was such a nice detail that made me start a Yasmin route

She’s distant and self-assured, but has a soft, gooey, nostalgic center and I wish we saw more of that, even if we weren’t on her route

My final thoughts on Yasmin: An artsy indie icon that I really need to stop getting distracted from and finish her route

Lily:

Again, don’t know much about her, but she seems really cool

Her shaving her head between the finale and Boat Party is such a flex and I wish she did it right before Boat Party so we could see her in all her bald glory

She’s into cars, right? And… architecture?

Idk, I barely remember my own name, let alone a 10 minute date from months ago

But I’ll definitely get around to doing her route at some point, maybe just to write for her, we’ll see

Elladine:

I know she’s not an LI, but MC so should have been able to run away with her

I missed that option in S3

I kinda get why they didn’t do that, but Boat Party’s just so messy in general

And I would include Genevieve here, but she’s so cute with Seb that I’d feel bad splitting them up

But Elladine had actual problems with Nicky!!!

Why did they mention it for it to never pay off??

And I’m so mad that the hype around her died when it was revealed she wasn’t an LI or the badass of the season, because I still adore how sweet she is

I also want to brag that before we got a name I was calling her Emma and that’s just on example of my almost psychic-ness

But yeah I wanted Ell to be a run away option and I’m salty that she wasn’t

Know what, fuck it, Viv too, she’s smart and cool as hell, let us love these awesome women FB, you cowards!!!

I have no idea who would be my number 1 based on canon, but if we’re talking hypotheticals, I think my answer, as strange as it is, is Hannah.

I just love what she could have been, but by no means what she is. 

It’s so awkward to know her for three days, not see her for three weeks, then spend a couple more days with, a couple weeks at most, just for her to write a whole ass book about MC?? And tell her about it with that hair????

No thanks, I’ll stick with closeted sapphic horse girl nerd Hannah because I guess that’s somehow my type??? Oh god what the fuck I swear I’m not a total weirdo

[llycaons]

further ep3 thoughts:

okay. lwj intro (i love how many characters get TWO intros)

this is going to sound so odd but the thing I really initially loved about young lwj is how many issues he has and how he pretends not to have them. like, characterizations that paint him as perfect and flawless and confident and secure are ooc for adult lwj but even moreso for teenage lwj

writing that doesn’t humanize him makes him so uninteresting and bland and someone who I don’t care about at all. these characterizations really only look on the surface because in cql (and in the novel, too, even though the narration was butchered and the other aspects of his character make me want to throw up) there’s a lot more to him that there appears

in cql there was always something so vulnerable and misunderstood in him, especially in this arc, that made him so compelling to me

this kid is like. he’s a mess? I mean that in the most realistic way. I don’t think he was actually supposed to fight wwx on that roof. he’s very emotionally driven, I would argue he’s insecure and deeply competitive, very lonely but thinks he’s okay with it because nobody he’s ever met appeals to him, getting mad at changes in himself or things he doesn’t understand, taking on massive responsibility while denying it has taken a toll, still in mourning for a mother who has been dead for almost a decade

not that responsibility to family is a bad thing, that’s actually something I connect with his character a lot over and one of the first things that made me go “oh that’s just what I do” which I ended up saying a LOT

I think he was content in CR but only in that he liked having a schedule, being able to support his clan/family, being able to play/write his music, etc. he seems to stand apart from everyone else even in CR and never let himself soften or loosen up. I don’t think he was either unhappy or particularly happy, I just don’t think he knew what he was missing or what he wanted

the fact that we get so little characterization for him outside of wwx makes me SO MAD this could be such an incredible character in canon with a few more solo scenes. cql did do better than the novel but it still didn’t so quite as much as I wanted it to. do you all know how crazy I went over ep43. anyway

wwx and lwj handshake meme: getting a crush on a cute guy because he’s finally your match in swordsmanship and being kind of upset about it (wwx didn’t get upset till later when he realized how deep in he was but yeah him too)

we know wwx thinks of that night very fondly but i found it so funny when lxc was like “ohhh wangji is he VERY good at swordfighting? is he, perhaps, your match?” and lwj LITERALLY JUST LEAVES like he does not want this conversation

lwj being only polite when he feels like it even to his esteemed and respected older brother who is also his clan leader pfft

death grip on bichen starts THIS episode too i wonder that it doesn’t hurt his hands. oh it probably does, that’s the point :( we don’t see it at all postres iirc

I find it significant and weirdly underrated in fandom that wwx started liking lwj after lwj broke the rules(!!!!!) and let his family into CR. at that point I think he went from noticing him as in “oh sweet a handsome guy who I can fight with as equals, how enthralling” to actually liking him as in “this kid is so cool previous to what I thought we do have a roughly aligning moral system and so I WILL become his best friend i just want to be around him as much as possible”

[laissezferre]

the terror (2018), last 3 eps

this is primarily for @corinthes, whom i’ve been yelling at for the past few days bc of this show. it got a bit lengthy and and i doubt you’d enjoy reading this from the chat box. spoilers beware for anyone curious enough.

i feel like episode 8 is the calm before the shitstorm that is ep 9-10 and it certainly has the feel of a filler episode, but i love it nonetheless. people talk! people have lines and are given the time to deliver them! francis and james have this important conversation even before the credits roll and that makes it all the more important. i love this scene; i see what you mean about how it belongs to a stage. it's just two guys having a heartfelt convo, beautifully acted. when the camera goes further and shows them standing apart, right in the middle of the frame, in this vast wasteland, looking at each other and having an understanding--gaawwd.

tobias's delivery of "i would like that very much" was so good! so vulnerable and open and hopeful. even now, he needs validation and it's important that he gets it from francis. and francis--having labeled the ship as a confessor--fills the ships' gap and becomes the confessor for everyone apparently. and at this point, he's reached god-like zen bc seriously he looks so put together after everyone's spilled their guts out to him. til the end, he dispenses "i forgive you" and "you did your best" and "you're a good lad" like pancakes. and he starts calling people by their first name too. and this, coming from a francis crozier who has known to be miserable and disagreeable, is called d e v e l o p m e n t. further on, when tells his lieutenants that if they got sick, he wouldn't leave them either, i thought "yes, i would die for you, i would follow you to hell and back". thank you, jared, for this performance.

i loved the almost-hanging scene too. it's a very looong scene and it's sad how so few shows actually take the time to have their characters talk! i can easily imagine this on a stage, complete with atmospheric smoke and sepia lighting. i knew that letter was gonna bite francis in the ass. i was waiting for it and hickey put down that card in the best time possible. hickey, you are a murdering, mutinous son of a bitch, but i also can't help but admire you.

ep 9 is like one sucker punch after another. god wants you to live, can we sleep, bridal carry, what can i do for you sir--this is... too much. special props tho to goodsir bc he has been through some shit. this show has added so many actors to my watch-for-next-projects list and that includes paul ready. he goes through such a transformation, so filled with hope and optimism and empathy and by the time they ask him to butcher gibson, he just looks so fucking done. we know he's going to die and it won't be by anyone else's hand. i love the part where hickey stabs gibson and they get into a struggle, but it’s less a physical struggle and more a battle of wills. can't believe they brought out the bits of glass from episode xX. his death was so beautifully shot. first, from where he sits still and looks in the direction of the camera while the tent canvass behind him thrashes wildly. that was hauntingly beautiful. then when he cuts his wrists but we can't see his face, only his spasms. and then when he pictures the flowers and shells. that broke me. he was a science man to the death.

i have words for jopson but i will reserve them for ep 10.

francis gave a service for james but they did it alone. ok then! fuck me up some more! this, plus blankly's revelation that he's gonna die soon, chips at francis' state of zen and we see him break a bit. i love how his voice breaks in "why didnt you say aything?!" and then they're laughing and crying at the same time and yeah, there is no toxic masculity in this murderland, just a whole lot of love.

this show like oprah giving out prizes. "you get a monologue! and you get a monologue! and you get a monologue!" and i love it! hodgson and tover are relatively minor characters but they are given time to speak up, and despite their shitty actions, you can't help but empathize. and their breakdowns aren't the same either. goodsir breathes heavily, hodgson is still and haunted, tover hugs himself and shudders, and they all do it so well! how is everyone in this show so good?? jared did mention that most of the cast was theater-trained so i guess that played a part.

i have to tell you that before bingeing the last 3 eps i watched almost all the terror crack videos on youtube, so these last eps were, though still heartbreaking, were also a bit funny for me, in an absurd kind of way. when james fires the rocket, i can hear "rocketman" in the background. when goodsir mixes the poison, i almost yelled "chemistry time!". it's just... i needed to make fun of it or i wouldn't surive the heartbreak. which leads me to:

jopsoooooonnn! the best boi! the goodest boi! the most loyal boi who did no wrong! apart from his death, what's more heartbreaking is that he thought crozier left him. he didn't know that the captain was abducted so he thought he's been deliberately abandoned. his hallucination reduced me to tears. he was probably starving to death and here was all this food but no, he! just! wanted! his! captain! he sees the captain in his best form--well kempt, alert, emphatic--and at the end of it, his captain is turned away from him. fuck me up seven ways to sunday. i desperately want bts pics from this scene bc the eeriness of having a full dining table in the wastes must be jarring.

little doesn't get enough credit, because while he did mess up, his loyalty is also something to be admired. they were hungry and sick and dying--they could very well have just kept on south but he was still insistent to save francis. "you would leave our captain with that devil of a man?" yes, little, you did your best. you deserved to die last.

if tunbaaq is meant to be a metaphor for nature and balance, it's absolutely fitting how it's defeated by lead and chemical poison. ultimately, how we've used technology and industrialization kills the environment--or at least that's how i read it.

i really have to applaud adam nagaitis for his performance here and i do think he deserves top billing as much as the lead cast. by the end of it, he draws as much screen time as crozier and you can even say that he holds the last 2-3 eps together. and you genuinely fucking hate his character. were those really james' boots he was wearing? does that mean they dug him up and looted him? that unforgiveable swine, may he rot in hell, but gawwd adam pulled it off well.

i've been debating with myself if it was kinder and more poetic to have crozier die at the end so that he wouldn't have to grieve or go through survivor's guilt, but for my own mental health, i'm glad he survived. it's a small mercy but i'm glad he got to live. i'm glad he got to see what happened to his men, that he saw jopson one final time, and little too. his survival also sends the message that the one most willing to adapt (and respect the culture) will survive. he tries to follow silna but stops when the chief says "it's just how we do things". he understands and he lets it go. he learns the language and the way of life--and he lives.

i've watched featurettes and interviews for this series and from there you can really see that this show was a labor of love. it was a product of collaboration, research, open-mindedness, and a solid cast and crew. you can have all the special effects, all the expensive costumes, but at the core of it, what makes a good story is Dialogue. i can honestly say that it's one of the best scripts this decade has ever produced. the showrunners set out to tell a story and they did it to the best of their ability. i'll be coming back to this series for the next few months and rewatching it many times over.

thank u, thank u, thank u for introducing this to me. now come yell at me back

[aegon]

why dany deserves all the love

So after seeing rather blatantly-biased anti-Daenerys posts and political!Jon nonsense on my dash recently which I found ridiculous and unbelievably hateful against a fictional character, and I’m salty af, here’s all the wonderful things Daenerys Targaryen has done (on the show) and why Jon Snow does not need to pretend to love her. 

Warning: it’s a goddamn long list.

1) Despite not wanting to be married to Khal Drogo initially and is terrified of what’s about to happen, she still has enough grace to thank him for his gift. 

2) She tries to learn how to please him because he’s her husband and she wants to be loved. 

3) She adapted and learned a whole new language and culture that wasn’t her own. She didn’t appropriate it or look down on it, but actually adjusted to it and defended them to her own brother. My god what a horrible person. 

4) Her brother tries to hurt her and she still asks for mercy for him. 

5) She even gets gifts made for the same brother who’s progressively become more and more abusive towards her because Dany still loves him because that’s how big her heart is.

6) I love when people use her threatening her brother as an argument because he literally just hit a pregnant woman and Dany has a goddamn backbone. I’m adding that to the list. 

7) She defends the women the Dothraki want to rape, and convinces her husband to do so. 

8) She undergoes the same level of dehydration, starvation and horrendous living conditions while trying to find shelter for the khalasar that stayed with her. Never once do we see her lash out at them or mistreat them in any way. 

9) After Xaro murders half her people as well as one of her closest allies, she enacts revenge on him. Yeah that’s a positive point because Xaro is a murderer and entirely deserved what happened to him because he’d happily have Dany butchered just for her dragons.

10) She actually takes all the verbal insults Kraznys mo Nakloz dishes her way because she needs his army. If she was such an arrogant, brash woman, she certainly exercised a lot of patience here. Because Dany isn’t petty and understands how to conduct herself. 

11) Dany has every right not to like Barristan Selmy. But she still takes him in and forgives him. 

12) She offers water to a dying slave. Oh no, the cruelty. 

13) SHE FREES THE UNSULLIED

14) SHE COMMANDS THEM TO KILL THE MASTERS BUT PROTECT ALL THE INNOCENTS

15) SHE EVEN TAKES MISSANDEI BECAUSE SHE KNOWS SHE’S AN ABUSED SLAVE AND WANTS TO SAVE HER. 

16) While I’ve never been a fan of sacking cities and Astapor is left vulnerable without their army, I’ve come to realise that they needed to literally build back up from their foundations if they needed to change their way of life. Which was slavery. Which is not okay. So I’m giving this point to Dany because no one else did it. 

17) It’s a small thing but asking the Unsullied to pick their own names. It’s giving them their humanity back and that’s such a precious gift. 

18) Did not buckle down when Yunkai’s slave masters tried to bribe her because she wanted the slaves free. 

19) Gets the Second Sons on her side, the very people who would have fought against her. That’s a queen, yo. 

20) Frees the slaves of Yunkai. 

21) Actually talks to Missandei properly and values her advice. 

22) When finding the road full of slaves all hammered to a cross, she insists upon looking at each of their faces and giving them a proper burial, without their slave collars. But y’all are ready to call her insensitive and a mad queen. Go off I guess. 

23) Frees the slaves of Meereen. 

24) After hearing about her failures to maintain Yunkai and Astapor’s statuses as free cities, she rationally questions herself and decides she needs more experience before moving on to Westeros. And she stays in Meereen and learns. 

25) Paying a goatheader three times the value of the livestock he lost to her dragons. 

26) Letting Hizdahr zo Loraq bury his father. Joffrey put Ned Stark’s head on a pike, but let’s compare the two anyway because they’re exactly the same. 

27) Takes the time to listen to her subject’s complaints and issues. 

28) Takes Jorah’s advice when he tells her not blindly seek revenge, but to give a choice of mercy to the Wise Masters who took Yunkai from her. 

29) Has boy-talk with Missandei. Like she doesn’t need to be so casual with someone who works for her but she is and Missandei feels comfortable enough to talk about it. 

30) Sparing Jorah’s life eventhough he outright betrayed her and committed treason. 

31) Has established halls and barracks to give the former slaves somewhere to eat and sleep 

32) Understands that freedom means allowing someone to have a choice, and if former slaves want to be sold back into slavery, then they should do so under their own terms. She gave the former slaves the right to decide their own fate instead of letting it be dictated to them.

33) Upon seeing a victim of her dragons, she locks them up. Which is such a massive deal because these are her children and seeing them in chains is distressing af, but she does it because she’s looking out for the safety of her people. 

34) Retakes Yunkai. 

35) Heeds Barristan’s words when he tells her the truth about the Mad King, instead of calling him a liar. 

36) Enacts the right justice to a former slave that murdered someone that was supposed to be granted a fair trial. I’ve seen a post say the people hissing at Dany are a sign of her being a terrible ruler, but she did the right thing. And the people didn’t react well to it because it was a former master that was murdered, and their sense of justice is ruled by hatred. So yeah, let’s side with them just because Dany is supposedly terrible at making the right decision. 

37) Tries to understand and adjust to the culture of Meereen by marrying one of their nobles and opening the fighting pits against her own wishes because she values peace. 

38) Spares Jorah’s life again. 

39) Takes Tyrion, the son of the man that murdered her family, as an advisor because she’s not a revenge-fuelled angry queen. 

40) Stands up to Khal Moro despite being alone and vulnerable because she’s a goddamn badass. 

41) Despite Khal Moro literally only moments ago threatening her, she still offers to gift him horses if she can get back to Meereen. 

42) Destroys the super rapey leaders of the khalasar and takes the Dothraki for her own. I know people have had issues with this because she burnt their sacred place to the ground, but given their leaders had just threatened to have their horses rape her, I think burning them to the ground was an ideal decision. But hey let’s sympathise with them because anyone but Dany amirite. 

43) Takes Tyrion’s advice for diplomacy. 

44) Saves Meereen looking fly af in the process. 

45) Demands the Ironborn stop pillaging the land, because she’s already caring about the people of Westeros despite not actually having met them yet. 

46) Grants the Greyjoys the right to rule themselves. 

47) Understands that, despite enjoying a physical relationship with Daario, that she needs to marry for alliances and having a lover could be detrimental to that. She’s thinking like a politician and a queen. 

48) Tyrion tells her that he believes in her, after he’d given up hope on everyone else. Says a lot. 

49) Upon arriving to Dragonstone, gets straight tf to work. 

50) Asks Varys to advise her should she ever go astray, instead of betraying her. This is a huge deal, because Dany is openly admitting that she has the potential to go wrong and that she’d look to her advisers for help. That’s not Mad Queen material, that’s what a good queen should be asking.

51) Asks for forgiveness from Jon for the crimes House Targaryen committed against House Stark. 

52) Allows Jon to mine the dragonglass for his army. 

53) The Lannister battle is controversial, and while I do agree the use of dragonfire was excessive, let’s be real. It’s a battle. It’s her first real battle in Westeros that she’s actively involved in. Also at what point are we supposed to sympathise with the Lannister army again? Arya’s scenes were shown to humanise them, that they’re just pawns in the great game - but Christ, so were the people of the Riverlands and Highgarden that the Lannister army took over. Where was the outrage then? You can’t always side with the people that aren’t Dany at the spur of the moment just because you hate her. 

54) SAVES JON SNOW. YOUR FAVE IS ALIVE BECAUSE OF HER. 

55) SACRIFICES ONE OF HER CHILDREN. TO SAVE JON SNOW. 

56) Pledges to help Jon fight the Night King. 

57) Clearly is good enough for Jon Snow to want to pledge fealty to her. 

58) Knows the importance of the war in the North, so is willing to sit down with Cersei and have her armies fight alongside Lannisters if need be. 

59) Actually does appreciate Jon Snow. 

60) Probably is amazing at sex. I admit I’m including this last point so it’s exactly sixty but I’m not wrong. 

So there we have it. 

60 reasons why Jon is not faking his affection for Dany, and why she’s worthy of the affection in the first place. She’s made mistakes, but she’s done far more good than bad. And given she’s been raped and kidnapped and undergone severe trauma, the idea that Jon Snow would be using her because he secretly thinks she’s a Mad Queen is so anti-feminist because you’re actively rooting for a man to abuse a woman and her trust, so so wrong on every moral level because you’d rather your faves started their romantic relationship based on the misuse of another’s heart and body, and makes a fuckboy out of the man raised by Ned Stark. Which is blasphemous. So jot that down.

Anyways, Daenerys Targaryen deserves love, pass it on. 

[tyrus-time]

Lyric Analysis, TJ/Cyrus

I’m gonna give my analysis/interpretation of a few songs from my Tyrus playlist. Buckle up, friends...

(I’ve linked to their Genius lyric pages btw)

"Must Have Done Something Right” by Relient K

I’ve already posted about this song & I’ve seen other people express the same sentiment but it needs to be said again! It’s such a cute bop and the lyrics are on point. Some highlights:

We should get jerseys 'Cause we make a great team But yours would look better than mine 'Cause you're outta my league

We all know Cyrus loves making cute shirts, posters, etc. so this is really cute and perfect for them.

If anyone can make me a better person you could All I gotta say is I must've done something good I came along one day and you rearranged my life All I gotta say is I must've done something right

I imagine TJ saying this about Cyrus. Because seriously, if anyone could redeem “toxic TJ Kippen,” it’s Cyrus. Pretty self-explanatory?

Maybe I'm just lucky, cause it's hard to believe Believe that somebody like you'd end up with someone like me And I know that it's so cliche to talk about you this way But I'll push all my inhibitions aside

These can be interpreted both ways for TJ and Cyrus, because they are a lil bit of an unexpected couple (wholesome gay jock/nerd pairings aren’t seen very often) ... I’m sure they both feel lucky to be with each other, and they both get v cheesy about their feelings, but it doesn’t matter if it’s cliche bc they’re both so smitten, okay? And neither of them hold back around each other.

It's so very obvious to everyone watching us That we have got something real good going on

So I guess it’s not obvious to the T*ffy shippers [eyeroll] but the Tyrus chemistry is pretty darn obvious. And this song perfectly matches the wholesome, joyful young love that TJ and Cyrus show for each other.

“Someone to You” by BANNERS

OOF, THIS SONG. This song makes me particularly emo bc its on S1 of “The Bold Type” and [spoilers] it plays when Kat realizes she wants to commit to a relationship with Adena - her first actual relationship with anyone. It’s a really beautiful, powerful moment about realizing how much someone means to you, and you wanting to be someone to them. So, with that context, I think this song works beautifully for Tyrus -- I specifically interpret it from TJ’s perspective.

I don't wanna die or fade away I just wanna be someone  

This can relate to TJ’s wanting to stand out by being a star basketball player. He lashes out at Buffy bc he doesn’t want to “fade away” or be upstaged by her

And if you feel the great dividing I wanna be the one you're guiding 'Cause I believe that you could lead the way

TJ realizes Cyrus is a truly kind, helpful person, especially after the scene when Cyrus comforts TJ at the game; “there’s nothing wrong with you.” TJ appreciates and desires this guidance from Cyrus (and TJ offers a different form of guidance to Cyrus, too! We stan a mutually supportive relationship)

I just wanna be somebody to someone, oh I wanna be somebody to someone, oh I never had nobody and no road home I wanna be somebody to someone

I imagine that TJ hasn’t had very close connections with his peers, as evidenced by how standoffish he seems to be towards every except Cyrus. (Remember when Marty said at try-outs?) TJ seems to be ‘bros’ with some other guys from the team, but I have the feeling that he isn’t very vulnerable with them in the way he’s been with Cyrus already. SO, TJ wants to have a deep, human connection with someone - Cyrus specifically - instead of just performing the persona of the mean jock.

And if the sun's upset and the sky goes cold Then if the clouds get heavy and start to fall I really need somebody to call my own I wanna be somebody to someone Someone to you

The artist himself annotates these lyrics with this explanation:  “This is really about wanting to lift people up when they’re down, and I suppose having someone to do the same for you.” Need I say more?

“Tear in My Heart” by Twenty One Pilots

Another song that could work from both perspectives, but I imagine specificaly from TJ’s! You will notice a pattern: I am in love with the whole “Cyrus helping TJ emotionally and TJ being both smitten and deeply grateful for Cyrus”

Sometimes you gotta bleed to know That you’re alive and have a soul But it takes someone to come around To show you how

TJ acts pretty heartless, or rather “soul-less,” when we first encounter him with Buffy. But it turns out that his callous exterior is a wall that he’s put up to prevent anyone else from seeing his insecurities (such as his problems with math, thinking of himself as “stupid”). However, Cyrus is able to “come around” and “show [TJ] how” to open up, be vulnerable, and accept his flaws. It is painful to open up in this way, but it is very healing, and TJ is able to really come “alive” when he’s around Cyrus.

The chorus builds off this -- [H]e’s the tear in my heart / I’m alive

Take me higher / than I’ve ever been can be a fun, literal reference to swinging up high on the swings. I’m cheesy and I won’t apologize!

And then, the “outro” is probably my favorite part of the song:

My heart is my armor She’s the tear in my heart She’s a carver She’s a butcher with a smile Cut me farther Than I’ve ever been

My heart is my armor refers to TJ having that hardened heart as an emotional defense mechanism. And Cyrus -- the tear in his heart, aka the person who cracks open TJ’s hard shell -- is the only who can soften TJ up. 

[H]e’s a butcher with a smile / Cut me farther than I’ve ever been -- Cyrus' smile cuts through TJ’s hard exterior to get to the most vulnerable part of him, allowing TJ to be more vulnerable -- and thus, more completely loved and accepted -- than ever before. 

"Never Give Up On Me” by MisterWives

Okay this one is actually more a Cyrus song (but again, it applies to both because they both support each other so well). I can imagine TJ trying to help Cyrus with more things from the List, and Cyrus experiences some difficulty --

I crash and burn asking you to look away I crash and burn wondering why it is that you stay I know it isn't pretty how I can't handle everything But you never give up on me

Cyrus becomes a sweaty, anxious mess. He can’t believe how supportive TJ is through it all. But TJ never gives up on him :3

When you love me so damn good I know I will get better When you hold me so damn good I know I will get better

[...] How is it that you never give up on me?

Pretty straightforward message about a supportive and reassuring relationship.  ♥

"Love Like You” by Rebecca Sugar (Steven Universe End Credits)

Literally this whole song. I can’t even pick favorite lyrics; it’s all so perfect. 

@spidaerman this is prob more than you bargained for, but I’ve got a lot of feelings okAY