#I think it’s part of my abject confusion at just some guy energy charlie

[liminal-zone]

I remain absolutely at unhinged levels of unhingedness about how handsome Sauron is. My godddddddd. It’s been weeks and I’m still [redacted].

[sardonicnihilism]

A Biography of the Woman Who Never Was

Part 3 The Young Adult

Chapter 33

"Whatta mean your not coming back?" Sam asked in shock. "What are you thinking? Do you know the difference between what a college grad makes and just a high school grad? Not to mention the jobs. What're you going to do? Clean shitters the rest of your bloody life?"

Shannon just drove; her face was an unmoving mask of stone.

"Bloody hell Shannon; do you know what your doing?" Sam demanded, angry by her seemingly ignoring him.

"I have other opportunities." Shannon said without emotion. "My band has a show coming up and Relapse Records is sending a talent scout to check us out. Also, I've been talking to Metal Blade Records, and they want a promo pack from us. This could be our big break. I don't need college anymore."

"The operative word is 'could' there. It could all go south there. Then where would you be?"

"Not stuck with a bunch of stuck up rich kids who think of people like me as trash," she said defensively.

"You've put two years in already. - spent thousands of dollars. You drop out now, that's all gone; flushed down the toilet."

"I've gotten what I needed out of it." Her voice said that she was done talking about it and he needed to shut up about it.

"What's your mum say? Or haven't you told her yet?" Sam waited for an answer, but Shannon just drove in silence. Angrier now, he decided to keep pressing the issue. "Didn't you just apologize to someone for not taking their advice? Are you really thick enough to make the same fucking mistake twice?"

Shannon slammed on her brakes. "Get out," she said in a quiet fury.

"What? How the hell am I going to get back now? It's over twelve miles from here to campus."

"Not my problem," Shannon said in that same soft but furious voice. Then she screamed, "GET OUT!"

Sam sneered, opened the door, and got out. As soon as he had shut the door, Shannon peeled off.

********************************************

It was the night of the show and Shannon paced around nervously. Her drums were set up and ready to go. James and Charlie talked and schmoozed with the other bands, but Shannon was to worked up to talk to anyone. She wondered where the Relapse guy was. More importantly, she wondered where Dustin was.

She started to look around, almost in a panic. Charlie looked over and saw that she was about to go into a full blown melt down. He walked over and asked what was wrong.

"You know where Dustin is?" she asked, almost as a plea.

"I'm sure he'll be here soon. Kid's only nineteen but he's got a good head on his shoulders. He'll be here," he reassured her.

About ten minutes later, Dustin did walk in. He had on black, vinyl boots, fishnet stockings, black vinyl, booty shorts, a fishnet halter top, black nail polish, lipstick, and eye liner.

"Jesus Christ," Shannon whispered to herself and ran over to him. Charlie and James must have thought the same thing as they also came running over.

"Dude, what's with the Marilyn Manson get up?" James asked, half amused, half pissed.

"What? We got a label scout coming," Dustin replied, honestly confused by everyone's reaction. "I'm just trying to make an impression."

"Dude," Charlie said, "look at us. We're all in t-shirts and jeans man. You stick out like a sore thumb."

"Relax Charlie. It'll be ok. Besides, I don't have time to go back home and change."

They reluctantly acquiesced and Dustin disappeared to hang out with the other bands.

"Mother fucker has more makeup on than I do," Shannon said, both angry and scared.

The rest of the time went by fast. They hung out for another half hour when the sound man gave them the thumbs up. As they made their way up to the stage, Shannon saw Dustin stumbling in from out back. There was no mistaking the kid was drunk. Shannon cursed to herself but still held out hope he could still pull this off.

He couldn't.

Dustin moved around the stage like he was lost, even falling off stage at one point.. His playing was so sloppy, he threw Charlie and Shannon off a couple times. Eventually the sound man just cut out of the PA. To make matters worse, James forgot his lyrics. After the second song, he went and grabbed his notebook and read the lyrics as he sang. It was a complete and utter shit show. They didn't get signed that night, but one of the other bands did.

The next Sunday, Shannon showed up for practice. She was angry and ready to let loose when James and especially Dustin showed up. Her anger quickly turned to concern when she saw Charlie's face.

"Hey," he said sounding depressed. "We need to talk."

"Sure," Shannon said as she walked in.

"Listen, I can't do this anymore. Both Dustin and James called me and said they were out. James is moving back to Oklahoma and Dustin said he's not into being in a band anymore."

Charlie made a deep sigh and continued. "How many mother fuckers have we gone through over the past couple years? We just keep going through asshole after asshole and getting nowhere, and I just can't keep doing dude. I'm done. I'll help you pack your drums up if you want."

"Wait. What about Metal Blade? What if we just went on as a two piece?" Shannon was practically begging, abject terror rising in her heart. She had just dropped out of school, this was supposed to be her big break. She had nothing else besides this.

Charlie just shook his head. "I'm sorry Shannon, but I can't handle this anymore. There's too much else I can be doing besides constantly getting disappointed by dickheads."

Shannon nodded her head, heartbroken. She went down, packed her stuff up and left. After she got home, she unloaded her stuff in the basement and went upstairs to her room where she just stared at the ceiling in a numb stooper. About 3 hours later, her mother called her, she had a phone call.

Shannon slowly walked down the stairs and took the phone. She felt completely dead inside. She didn't want to talk to anyone but couldn't muster the energy to say no.

"Hello," she said in a dead voice.

"Hey, you're mum called me and told me what happened. I'm so sorry for you mate," Sam said from the other end.

Shannon was completely dumbfounded. She hadn't talked to him since she kicked him out of her car a month ago. How, why would he care about reaching out and consoling her after all that? It didn't make any sense. She never would have done it if the roles had been reversed.

"Um, thanks. I, ah, appreciate that," was all she could say.

"Hey, listen; I've got some free time here time here. If you want to pop around, maybe we could hang out or something. Watch some movies, order a pizza or whatever."

"Yeah, I'd like that. I'd like that a lot."