#I think it would work best with the security breach gang honestly

[hi-there-buddies]

Yall ever wonder what the in universe lore is for Freddy Fazbear? Like, I know it was a show at one point, but I’d like to believe it was something akin to TMNT or Transformers, where there were multiple different iterations every couple years, and each iteration has this super big fanbase, and it’s continually argued online about which one was the best

I feel like that would be super funny, to just have these people online super invested in the cartoons that are so monumentally different than what’s actually happening in real life

It would be like Transformers fans talking online about whether Animated or Prime was better, while Transformers toys come to life in the stores and start killing people because they were possessed by ghosts

[ragingbookdragon]

I Meet Where It All Began PT. 1

A Shay Cormac x Reader One-Shot

Word Count: 1,833 Warnings: Violence, Explicit Language

Author’s Note: Honestly, this is something I keep thinking about so I finally assumed I was supposed to write it out lol. Enjoy! -Thorne 

She ran her finger around the rim of her tankard, watching as the rum inside rippled, resisting the urge to move on the barstool again. Every time she shifted, the fabric of her pants rubbed against her wound, and she pressed a hand to her hip, fingers gently prodding the bandage she’d hastily tied earlier. Two hours she’d been back in New York and already she was running from assassins again. A disgruntled sigh left her lips and she moved her hand from her hip to the bar, scratching a groove into the wooden top. A figure sat down next to her, and for a moment, she assumed it was the man she was waiting for, but the scent of sea salt and oak reached her nose, and she drew her gaze from the ratty flag above the bar to look at him out of the corner of her eyes. He wasn’t looking back at her, gesturing to the bartender, accented voice, one she recognized as Irish, calling, “A pint for me and-” She watched as he leaned over, glancing into her tankard before adding, “And fill up the lass’s rum too!” The bartender acquiesced, filling up her drink before he handed the man a pint, wandering off towards another patron. The man didn’t say anything, simply taking a drink of his beer, and she decided to breach the silence between them, murmuring,

           “Is this the game you play with all your targets? Buy ‘em a round then stab ‘em?” The man chuckled.

           “Game? I never play games with beautiful lasses like yourself.” She hummed, switching the tankard to her other hand, leaving her dominant hand free in case of defense as she observed,

           “Small bar. Too crowded. Not enough space for us to fight. Too many innocent bystanders.” He went silent and she turned her head, fully taking in his image. Coffee eyes narrowed as they peered at her, and she quipped, “Can you seriously see with that mop on your head?” His brows furrowed and he reached up, running a hand through his shaggy brown hair.

           “My hair’s not that bad.” She snorted, taking another sip of her drink.

           “Just keep telling yourself that babe.” The tankard set against the bar and she let her voice become carefree as she threatened, “I know who you work for, and if you’re here, you know who I work for.” She stared him down. “You’re new to your little band, nowhere near as experienced as I am…do you really think you can take me on?” She watched as his hand that wielded his hidden blade twitched and before he could move, she jerked forward, one hand clapping his wrist to the bar, the other drawing a dagger to his torso. His eyes went wide as reality caught up with him and she quipped, “I’ll say it again, you know the man I work for, so you know exactly how experienced I am. With that being said, I don’t think it’s fair to slay people who’ve barely started their careers. So, we don’t really need to take this outside…we can simply let bygones be bygones and you can leave with your life. Sound good?” She watched his jaw clench, but he swallowed thickly and nodded, audibly sighing with relief as she pulled away, sheathing her dagger. He stood from his seat and turned, but stopped when she grabbed his wrist, and he looked down at her. “This is your only freebie assassin. Come after me again and I will kill you.” The Irish assassin yanked his arm back, spitting,

           “My name is Shay Cormac, and I will come for you again.” She narrowed her eyes, feeling a smile cross her lips as she replied,

           “(Y/N) (L/N). And I wait for your return.” He gave her one last glare before stalking off, and a minute later, another man took his spot, pushing the pint of beer away.

           “Who was your friend (Y/N)?” She huffed as she reclined against the bar, elbows resting atop it.

           “Some new assassin Achilles has recruited.” The man sighed.

           “And you let him walk away?” (Y/N) chuckled, glancing over at him.

           “Meh, he’s a shit assassin anyway. I knew he was here the moment he walked in.”

           “How so?” The man gestured for a beer and she grabbed her rum, taking a swig.

           “Most people, especially the rare men who aren’t idiots, leave the extremely well-armed woman alone when she’s drinking at the bar.” The corners of his mouth rose, but they quickly dropped, and she remarked, “Oh I know that look.” Leaning over, she nudged him in the side, the side glare he tossed her only egging her on. “That’s your ‘trouble in paradise’ look.” He scoffed.

           “I do not have ‘looks’ and you do not know them.” (Y/N) simply hummed, watching as he stared into his drink.

           “You hoping you can drown in that beer, Haytham?” When he didn’t respond, she murmured, “She found out you lied to her about Braddock, didn’t she?” He let out a grunt.

           “I don’t want to talk about it.” A sadistic grin crossed her lips and she downed the last of her rum, waving the empty tankard to the bartender.

           “Oh, you don’t, but I sure as hell do.”

           “Of course you do. You’re nothing if not nosy.” (Y/N) nodded as the bartender poured her another round, and she asked,

           “Can you fix it?” Haytham frowned and responded,

           “She told me if I returned that she’d rip my heart out with her bare hands and feed it to the wolves, so, no…I can’t fix it.” She nodded knowingly, quipping,

           “Gotta give her points for her restraint. If I was her, I probably would’ve done it anyway.” (Y/N) looked over at him and rested a hand on his forearm, drawing his eyes to her. “Look to the future Haytham. Perhaps the best is yet to come.” He tried to form a smile but only managed a grimace, and she joked, “Or maybe you lied away the best thing you’ll ever have. Whatever comes, you’ll still have me.” This time, a smile did form, and he chuckled.

           “You can’t offer me sympathies without the wisecracks, can you (Y/N)?” She shrugged, pulling her hand away.

           “I told you not to lie to Ziio. I told you it wasn’t wise to lie to a woman like her, but you ignored me and did so anyway. You’ve made this bed my dear. You don’t get to complain about resting in it.” Haytham’s face pinched and he turned to her, the anger evident in his voice as he bickered,

           “I do not need you to tell me what I already know.” (Y/N) matched his glare as she retorted,

           “Someone has to. You’ve grown a big head since coming over here and if you want to stay alive, you need to be knocked down a few pegs. No one else in this godforsaken order has the balls to talk back to you save me, so do me a favor and man up, because until I make you feel as worthless as you made Ziio feel, I’m-” She was suddenly cut off as he grabbed her arm, voice raised as he shouted,

           “I already feel worthless about what-” Sensing the eyes of the other patrons on him, Haytham went silent, taking a deep breath before calmly stating, “I already feel worthless (Y/N). I haven’t stopped thinking about it since I left our camp.” Eyeing him a moment, she pursed her lips and nodded.

           “Then I’ll relent…for now.” Haytham grunted and she waved the bartender over, handing the empty tankard to him. “Give him something stronger, and something to eat for us both.” As he walked away, Haytham rose, saying,

           “There are other things I need to attend to.” (Y/N) huffed and drug him back down.

           “Sit down. Tonight you’re going to drown your sorrows in ale and good food and complain to your best friend about every terrible thing in your life.”

           “Are you counted in the terrible things?” She snorted, digging into the food the bartender set in front of her.

           “Excuse you, I’m the only ray of sunshine you’ve got left.” Haytham snorted as he began to eat.

           “I don’t know about sunshine…you’re more of a thunderstorm.” (Y/N) smiled at him.

           “I’ll take what I can get Hayth.”

           “You know I hate it when you call me that.”

           “And I don’t care. Tell me something I don’t know.” A silence encompassed them, and she realized he had switched moods, the Grandmaster of the Templar Order coming out as he stated,

           “What’s happened is in the past, and we need to look forward to the future.” She nodded and he continued. “Boston is secure, we’ve made sure no assassins can come in, but here…what do you know about New York?” (Y/N) scoffed as she bit into the roll and divulged,

           “I didn’t get a hundred feet in here when I was attacked by a group of assassins.” She raised her shirt, showing the bandaged wound. “One of the sonsabitches stabbed me in the side, which I’m still pissed off at.” She swallowed and added, “New York? Haytham, we can’t touch New York. This city is in their hands, from the shopkeepers even down to the gangs.” He thought on her information before asking,

           “Do you think you can get in and disorganize them?” (Y/N) reached up, scratching at the back of her neck as she offered,

           “I might? Guerilla warfare is the best I can do. Get a group in, mess up some operations, and get out. But…if I do that, then they’ll just pick up and move to another location. If you want me to secure New York like we have Boston, I need men, and a lot of them. Or, just a few well-trained soldiers.”

           “Would redcoats do?” She waved a hand, dismissing,

           “Those jackasses couldn’t pour piss out of a boot even if the instructions were written on the heel. I need thoroughly trained men, not boys pretending to be someone worthy of attention.” Haytham nodded, then he paused, noticing the lack of sound in the tavern.

           “It’s quiet.” Having noticed it too, (Y/N) muttered,

           “Indeed…much to quiet for a bar at eight on a Friday night.” A quick glance to the bartender beginning to cower behind the bar made her suspicious. Taking a look behind her, she turned back to the bar, and he queried,

           “How many?”

           “Sixteen. Eight for each of us.”

           “Men?”

           “Four women, the rest are men.”

           “Heavies?”

           “Six.” She paused, wiping her mouth on the napkin. “Two are coming this way, a heavy and a woman. She’s on my side, he’s on yours.” Haytham mirrored her movements, wiping his own mouth before offering,

           “I’ll go over, you go under?” (Y/N) grinned at him, and as the two assassins reached them, the two twisted, Haytham going above, her underneath, and the sound of metal meeting flesh, followed by pained screams echoed through the tavern.

[timeagainreviews]

Sifting through the Dregs

For series twelve of Doctor Who, I have opted to take a casual approach. I've avoided spoilers as much as possible. Although I caught the trailers, and the odd press photo, I've managed to stay away from things as simple as episode descriptions, writers, or even episode titles. I want to come into each story with as little expectation as possible. This is so that I might avoid hype, both of the negative and positive varieties. So when I read the words "Part One," after "Spyfall," it was genuinely a surprise. And when I read the words "Orphan 55 by Ed Hime," I was suddenly very hopeful.

If you remember from series eleven, I was a big fan of Ed Hime's episode "It Takes You Away." I praised its brazen absurdity, likening it to something Douglas Adams may have done. The episode is rather divisive in the fandom, as some might call it one of the worst episodes ever. Obviously, I disagree. Ed Hime stands out to me as exactly the kind of writer Doctor Who needs. Someone with a bit of a taste for the absurd, while still managing to capture human moments. Ironic then, that despite my best efforts to approach the episode without expectation, the hype I would most contest with would be my own. Does "Orphan 55," live up to my expectations? Let's get into it!

As I said, Ed Hime lends a sort of mad weirdness to Doctor Who that I feel a certain section of writers possess. Think your Lawrence Mileses, your James Gosses, or even the occasional Steven Moffat. These are writers, who for better or worse understand one thing about Doctor Who- it's weird. Strangely, one of the common most aspects ignored by Doctor Who writers is the absurdity. A blue police box wrapped around an impossible machine, piloted by an ancient trickster somehow becomes mundane. Doctor Who's weirdness is an integral element that has been around since its inception. That's why when the gang gets teleported by a contest cube Graham has assembled, and the first person we meet is a furry, I feel we're already onto a good start. Especially when they just finished cleaning up the biggest calamari ever from the TARDIS floor. (Anyone else think of the Nestine Consciousness?)

Characters like "Hyphen with a 3" or "Hyph3n," remind me of some of the '80s era's odder characters. I could easily see her and her tail living in "Paradise Towers," or perhaps riding a bus in "Delta and the Bannermen." But another reason I love her is that she's not just a furry, it's part of her identity. You don't get the idea that she's an outlier like real-life Trekkie, Barbara Adams, who famously wore her Star Trek uniform to jury duty and her place of work. Instead, you get the feeling that in the future, people respect identities. To use Star Trek again, I remember watching an episode of "Star Trek: Enterprise," where the character Trip has a crisis over whether or not a girl "was a man." When you compare this to the dialogue we're having about transgender rights in 2020, you're automatically reminded that Enterprise came out in 2001. By today's standards, furries are still seeking acceptance. Seeing Hyp3n in a partial fursuit may seem absurd now, but in its own way, it's futuristic. How very Doctor Who.

Things in this future, however, aren't all progressive acceptance of our fine furry friends, there seems to be trouble in paradise. As I said, the gang is greeted by Hyp3n, a sort of porter for a relaxation destination called "Tranquility Spa." The companions immediately take to the spirit of things, as they settle in for a bit of rest and relaxation. The Doctor, of course, starts snooping around. Meanwhile, a security team of two, Kane and Vorm are responding to "another security breach." Whatever it is requires machine guns, which seems like quite a lot. And if you're like me you'll spend the next half hour trying to figure out where you've seen Kane before. I'll help you out- it was Lydia from Breaking Bad. You're welcome. I just saved you a trip to IMDb.

The next scene introduces us to a concept that will run strong within this episode- Yaz as a gooseberry. We see a couple of pensioners, Benni and Vilma, enjoying their spa getaway. Just as Benni is about to ask Vilma to marry him, Yaz stands right between them. I mean, I know the pool is for everyone, but read the vibe, Yaz. Jeez. Meanwhile, Ryan is checking out the interior of Tranquility Spa. The bar looks like the kind of place art vampires go to get lemongrass enemas. It reminded me a lot of "The Leisure Hive," with a budget, or even a more modern twist on the Centre of Leisure from "Time and the Rani. So much of this episode reminded me of classic Doctor Who.

Ryan notices a vending machine, but as he's retrieving his food is infected by a hopper virus. The Doctor explains the virus is capable of jumping from computers to humans. After expelling it from his system, the Doctor bags it to take to whoever is in charge. While Ryan is sucking his thumb to reduce the hallucinogenic side effects of the virus, he sees a cutie in a similar situation, a young woman by the name of Belle. It's pretty obvious at this point that Belle is to be a sort of romantic interest for Ryan, and who can blame him? She lives up to her namesake!

Everyone is rounded up for a "tranquillity drill," to a safe location while Kane and Vorm run through the lobby with their guns in tow. As with most companions, travelling with the Doctor embeds a deeper curiosity. Much like the Doctor would, Ryan questions what type of drill requires guns. This question entices Belle to follow him as they investigate. I really liked this pairing of the two of them as their chemistry was natural, despite Ryan's repeated failures at chatting her up. It only added to their charm.

The Doctor confronts Hyp3n who seems just about as confused and nervous as many of the guests. Whatever she's hiding is only because she's been instructed to by her superiors. Considering the hopper virus and drill, the Doctor deduces that the spa is under attack, and demands to know what they're hiding. Who would want to harm a spa? The spa has been using an ionic membrane to keep out unwanted visitors, visitors which appear to have breached the membrane. Now under a full-on attack by a group of monstrous beings, guests become casualties. Not only is the base under attack, but the viruses have also handicapped the systems, disabling the emergency teleportation devices. With everyone trapped the Doctor has to work fast to stop the killing, as well as survive.

Graham finds a pair of green haired servicemen in the form of Nevi and his son Sylas. Their entire character design once again had me thinking of classic Doctor Who characters such as the Swampies from "The Power of Kroll," or the Karfelon androids from "Timelash." I liked wondering if they were a kind of species that has naturally green hair, or if they had father/son hair dying nights. In this brief interaction, you learn that Sylas is the better mechanic between the two of them, but that Nevi does a bad job of acknowledging this. Graham gathers them and others to evacuate while Ryan and Belle hideaway in a sauna of sorts. While there, they confide in each other that neither of them is nearly as impressive as they initially led on, and the truth strengthens their bond.

Sadly, as Graham is rounding people up, Benni gets separated after backtracking to pick up Vilma's hat. As life signs extinguish across a computer screen, highlighting the trail of carnage, the Doctor finds a way to push back the onslaught. By repairing the ionic membrane, the creatures, known as Dregs, are physically pushed out of the spa by a force field. The crisis averted, the survivors search for the bodies of their loved ones. Much to Graham's relief, Ryan and Belle have both narrowly avoided the claws and teeth of an angry Dreg. Benni, however, is nowhere to be found.

After discovering a hole, which looks like a tear in reality, our heroes discover that Tranquility Spa is actually an illusion. A dome separates the spa from a hostile planet far too polluted to inhabit. This abandoned, or "orphan," planet is designated "Orphan 55." This is the reason guests are teleported to the spa- to cover up its seedy location. However, it would appear that whatever the Dregs are, they seem to be apex predators, able to survive the hostile environment of Orphan 55. And they want the spa and its inhabitants gone.

The Doctor makes Kane drive them out into the wasteland to find Benni, as his oxygen tank would allow him to survive outside of the dome for some time. It was a thin chance, but it might be enough to save at least one person among the carnage. I was really hoping for some silly "Moonbase," style helmets, but instead, we got these minimalist blue breath right strips across the bridge of the nose that linked to small wrist canisters as supplied by Nevi and Sylas.

The trip out onto the surface reminded me a lot of the great Russell T Davies episode "Midnight." And much like Midnight, the confined space of a vehicle traversing harsh conditions offers plenty opportunity to explore the people within. Remember how I said Yaz is a gooseberry? She wastes no time getting right between Ryan and Belle. I honestly can't tell what's going on between Yaz and Ryan at the moment. Last season, there was a bit of a "Will they or won't they?" vibe between them. But series twelve seems less interested in coupling them off. First, we had the Master and Yaz getting weirdly touchy-feely, which surprisingly never comes up again. And now we've got Yaz teasing Ryan in front of Belle like a jealous school girl. We learn that along with sucking their thumbs, Ryan and Belle also share having a dead parent in common, so that's something.

The vehicle picks up a bit of barbed wiring leaving it, as the Doctor put it- completely knackered. Keeping with the Midnight vibe, the surface of the planet is too dangerous due to monsters and killer sunlight. Afraid for her own self-interest, Kane wants to abandon the search mission, but a pleading Vilma begs her to continue looking for Benni. After callously accepting Vilma's necklace as payment, Kane agrees to continue with the rescue mission.  The crew abandon their vehicle and run for the safety of an underground service tunnel, but Dregs attack from every direction causing them to return to the safety of the vehicle. But that safety won't last long.

It's then that they hear Benni calling for Vilma. He asks her to marry him and then asks them to shoot him as well. It's a morbid moment as you realise the only reason the Dregs have kept Benni alive is to taunt the survivors and prolong his suffering. I don't really understand what the point of having them run back into the vehicle actually was. They basically run back out a moment later with the new plan of Kane and Vorm covering with gunfire. I don't understand why it was so important that they leave one location just to return moments later.

As Kane and Vorm blast Dregs, the rest of the crew run to the safety of the service tunnel. In the scuffle, Vorm dies, but Kane catches up just in time to open the tunnel. The entrance to this tunnel had me thinking of the opening of "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers." I kept waiting for Rita Repulsa to pop out and say "Ah! After 10,000 years I'm free! It's time to conquer Earth!" They make it down into the tunnel where there is a short-range teleporter nearby. Vilma asks Kane if she saw what happened to Benni, and Kane coldly tells her not to worry, that she shot Benni as he requested. It's at this time that Belle steals Kane's gun. She reveals that Kane is her mother and that she's here for revenge for abandoning her and her father. Belle teleports back to the spa taking Ryan with her. Seeing as the teleporter only had enough juice for one go, the rest of the crew must go deeper into the tunnel to find their way back.

Back at the spa, Belle reveals a huge bomb she plans to use to blow up the spa. Poor Ryan, he just met this girl and already he's dealing with her baggage with her mum. I kid, but damn girl, take a guy to a movie first. It's lucky for the Doctor that this adventure isn't actually from the '80s. Had it been Ace in this position, she would have seen the bomb and said "Wicked!" while offering up Nitro 9 to add to the destruction. Instead, Ryan pleads with her not to blow up the spa, dooming everyone involved.

Meanwhile, the Doctor and crew discover a plaque written in Russian, cluing them in to the fact that not only is the planet abandoned, but it was also abandoned by humanity. Orphan 55 is in fact, Earth. This revelation hits Graham and Yaz hard, as they never imagined the fate of the world to be so ugly. Their grieving is cut short by the appearance of Dregs, who Vilma bravely sacrifices herself to, to save the others. The Doctor, at this time also appears to be running out of air. It appears that the ability to be the loudest talker isn't always helpful when oxygen preservation is to be considered.

The sole reason for her running out of oxygen serves only to discover the Dregs breathe out oxygen. She discovers this when she finds a Dreg conveniently hibernating within the tunnel. Why this is important is that it gives a bit of insight into the Dregs' motivation. Kane's big plan was to make a spa that slowly terraforms the planet, which would harm the Dregs. It also explains the trees seen on the surface of the planet. That or these trees are also apex predators able to adapt to anything. Using her Time Lord brain magic, the Doctor looks into the mind of the Dregs and affirms what she feared most- they evolved from humans.

Everyone has now made their way back to the spa. The Dregs are closing in and they need to fix the teleporter. We're treated to a series of people once again leaving and returning to the same location for the sake of upping the tension. Kane appears to sacrifice herself and Sylas gets in an argument with Nevi once more over being told he's not a mechanic causing him to run away. But both of them are ok, as they both return unscathed. Yaz and Ryan wheel Belle's bomb to try and take out a few of the baddies. It's kind of a clusterfuck if I am honest. Lots of characters get taken in and out of scenes merely to pad time and add to the tension. It's not egregious but could have been edited better.

Sylas appears just in time with a solution to use the hopper virus to convert fuel for the teleporter. I was happy they brought the virus back, even if they don’t make a whole lot of sense. Were the Dregs weaponising the hopper virus? Were the viruses remnants of human civilisation? Regardless, I’m glad they brought it back. Sadly, this entire end sequence acts as evidence that perhaps there are too many companions in the TARDIS at the moment. Graham's job is to stand over Nevi and Sylus saying things like "That's right lads!" Yaz and Ryan are basically running around doing busywork, while the Doctor and Belle are having a stand-off with a Dreg. The Doctor manages to equalise the air in the room so that it is mutually beneficial to keep her and Belle alive. What the Dreg breathes out, they breathe in, and vice versa. This stalemate allows them the ability to leave. With the teleports up and running, the Doctor and her crew are transported back aboard the TARDIS, but not before Belle steals a kiss from Ryan. Are she and her mother going to be okay? We're left to wonder.

The victory celebration is short-lived as the companions remember the fate of the earth. Now, I need to preface what I'm about to say with the following- I fully believe climate change is a thing. I say this because we need to talk about how Doctor Who handles the subject. I've seen a lot of people (see: morons) complain about when Doctor Who gets "too political." They seem to think anything they don't like is political. The Doctor being a woman is political to them. But as I said with episodes like "Rosa," and "Demons of the Punjab," it's not that Doctor Who shouldn't be political, it's that it's simply not very good at it.

I can appreciate that the message of climate change is a real and pressing matter, but the cautionary edutainment way in which they present the information was so cringe. It felt so unnatural and tacked on. In their desire to address the audience directly, they lose a level of reality that makes the dialogue seem fake. These scenes always feel badly acted to me, but it's the fault of the dialogue. There's no good way to break the fourth wall without also sacrificing the characters' voices. It's like one of those adverts where you have two people talking far too candidly about something like their period flow, or constipation. It's a way to disseminate information about a product or ideology, but don't mistake it for dialogue. Nobody talks like this.

All in all, this was your standard "base in peril," episode. While not as transcendent as "It Takes You Away," I believe Ed Hime has given us another solid episode of Doctor Who. It's hard for me to tell if Hime's ability to write action was wanting, or if it is simply the fault of the director, but it definitely suffers at points due to the janky pacing. Pacing has really been an odd sticking point for series 12, and I hope they work it out. Even still, I was hoping that after the two-parter of "Spyfall," we would get something a little more grounded. Having this odd little contained storyline with little homages to classic Who is actually more than I had hoped for. It also gave us a new character in Belle, whom I expect to see return eventually. And despite the heavy-handed and unnatural way in which they dealt with climate change, I understand that it's a family show. In keeping with classic Who, it aimed to be educational, and for that, I cannot fault it.

[bardofheartdive]

3 for Ariella / 11 for Chris / 2 for Gina / 16 for Mara / 23 for Veerla / 27 for John / 30 for everyone

Oooh! A big, list! Thank you foxy! Sorry it took so long it get around to answering!

3. Have they ever lost a loved one? What happened to them, and are they the same as they were before they lost them?

Ariella has the Colonist background, so her entire family (her parents) were killed during the raid on Mindoir. I don't think anyone can go through that kind of loss and be the same person, but I would say that losing them made her a better version of that person? Losing them motivated her to make them proud and was a big motivation for her to be a good/strong/kind/forgiving/insert-virtue-here person. (As you may have guessed, she is VERY paragon.)

11. What are your character’s coping mechanisms?

Chris has two main coping mechanisms. The first one is to harm, hurt, damage, or destroy the person or thing that has offended him. He prefers this method, when he has a specific target and is sure he can get away with it. The second is tinkering/programming/electronic-ing. Often when he needs to clear his head he will take apart his omni-tool, put it back together, and reprogram the entire thing.

2. Does your character have a deep and/or dark secret? If so, what is it?

Gina is Earthborn and while her general history with the Reds is known, many of the specifics are not. She took advantage of people, beat up, and nearly killed, rival gang members, and did what she needed to do to survive. Probably the deepest and darkest thing, though, is that she doesn't feel any guilt about it. It wasn't something she enjoyed but it was necessary for her to survive and she would do it again without qualms.

16. What are your character’s vices and bad habits?

Mara's worst is how much she allows other people's opinions (at least people she trusts) to influence her actions. She also has a tendency to turn things into competitions, usually friendly, though she has been working on making sure she only does this when appropriate. (This is a woman who would NEVER let Garrus beat her at a shooting contest.) She also has a HUGE sweet tooth, especially for chocolate. And butterscotch. And caramel. And toffee. And…

23. Is your character more physically or emotionally strong? Why is this?

Tough call for Veerla but I think I would go with emotionally. The main reason for this is that she is very good at figuring out why she's feeling whatever the she's feeling, and I think there is strength in this awareness. It means she can actually fix the problem or talk about her feelings or do whatever she has to do as opposed to letting them control her. She also is comfortable working through her emotions, which I think is important.

27. What would be the worst way to die, in your character’s opinion?

Honestly, being spaced (in the manner that he was spaced) is pretty high on the Worst Way to Die list for John. It's the feeling of powerlessness, knowing that he's going to die and not being able to do anything about it, that makes it bad. If he had been blown out of a hull breach without his hard suit and instantly killed that would have been fine. But hearing the air escape, feeling the oxygen run thin, was terrible. Another bad one for him would be trapped in an enclosed space slowly being filled with water and drowning, for the same reason.

30. What makes them feel safe or secure? What makes them feel insecure or unsafe?

For all of my OCs being with people who they trust makes them feel safe and secure. This is even true for Chris, or would be if there was anyone that he trusted. There is nothing as reassuring as knowing that someone who cares about you has your back.

The most comforting thing for Ariella is the smell of fresh baked goods, cakes and pastries but also just regular bread. Her family used to bake together and then her best friend opened a bakery/deli so the smell of baking always makes her feel like home. After being spaced in the start of Mass Effect 2, the feeling of being weightless is really scary for her and she hates when she doesn't have a sense of gravity.

Kind of hinted at earlier, Chris really likes to do tinkering and techy stuff. Building electronics, taking stuff apart and putting it back together, programming and proof-reading code. He finds it very relaxing, plus he is really, REALLY good at it which makes him… "happy" might not be exactly right but as close as he gets. As far as making him feel unsafe, it's a hard thing to do. (Even when he should be.) I guess the closest thing is realizing he won't be able to take advantage of someone he thought that he could.

Gina's gear is the  thing that makes her most comfortable. Heavy armor, heavily modded rifle, multiple types of ammo to fit whatever target, omni-blade, and as many grenades as her belt can hold. Gina has trouble with anything that reminds her of Akuze. Rumbling or tremors in the ground are big ones but the worst one is anything that smells like thresher acid (which in my head canon is cloyingly sweet and caustically astringent at the same time).

Mara feels safest in her ballet shoes in a barre room. She turns some music on her omni-tool, does a good long stretch, then free dances and it always makes her feel better. In combat, she is a sniper so the greater the distance between her and her target the safer she feels. Like Ariella, her biggest insecurity comes from being spaced but for her it's more visual; open areas with stars/planets/moons make her very, very uncomfortable.

Veerla did extensive biotic training when she first joined the Alliance and then even more on top of that when she got her super-secret-spy amp, and going through her basic drills always helps to center her. A bowl of ramen, white peaches, rice balls, or a plate of okonomiyaki also goes a long way to make her feel safe. The thing that makes her feel most unsafe is the sense that she is missing information. While this is not an infrequent occurrence in her line of work, it never fails to make her nervous.

Ask me these asks, if you want to!

[iamcarriesoom]

Planes, Tanks and Automobiles

Fast & Furious 6 opens with Dom and Brian racing along some absurdly beautiful coast and looking very mad at each other. I SEE RIGHT THROUGH IT, YOU GUYS. YOU CAN’T HIDE THE BROMANCE. They’re actually racing to get to the birth of Brian’s baby. (Where were they coming from? Why wouldn’t Brian stay home with Mia when she’s so close to giving birth? He’s a criminal millionaire, it’s not like he had a day job to get to.)

This movie has opening credits like it’s a TV show- like a nine minute super-cut of the best clips from all the previous movies. I’m on board.

I still don’t understand the bond between Dom and Elsa Pataky (or just her character in general. What’s her deal?) It’s gonna be awkward when Letty inevitably comes back.

Hobbs is somewhere, talking to…some suspect. We’re supposed to think it’s Dom, but then he walks around to see him from the front and surprise! It’s not Dom. You couldn’t fool me, movie. As if Dom would run off so soon after the birth of his nephew. Don’t you think we know how important family is to him? He starts beating the shit out of this guy, and someone watching is like “Is this legal?” Hobbs’ partner (whose name I only knew after I looked it up on IMDb, so I’ll call her Angel Dust because that’s her character in Deadpool) is like “nope.” It’s bordering on a little too self aware, but I laughed.

Hobbs comes to see Dom for help, and Dom is like “nah you can’t make me,” but Hobbs gives him the new pictures of Letty. Extremely chill Elsa Pataky is like “babe you should go, it’s fine, I get that I’m your second choice and honestly, likewise.” I’m pumped already, I love a good “criminal with a heart of gold helping to catch the TRUE bad guys” story (Catch Me If You Can, White Collar, etc etc.)

Dom is like “Brian, you should stay, you literally just had a very cute baby moments ago with my sister.” Mia is like “No, you’re stronger together. You always were.” Except all the times they worked as a team and people died, but sure OK. Hobbs is like “I know you guys are a family.” No shit, Hobbs.

I am again surprised that Wonder Woman is in this movie, even though I like and am committed to her character now. I just feel like I should have known? She and Han get a call to meet up. Tyrese turns his private jet around to come join the team. Luda showers some pals with money from an ATM and heads off to meet everyone.  They’re like the Avengers, and Hobbs is…Nick Fast&Fury? Is that a thing that works?

They’re trying to catch some extreme bad guy played by Gaston. In true Fast & Furious fashion, all character motivations are laid out very quickly and quietly with very little detail. He’s assembling the pieces to create some kind of device to black out communication “for a whole country” (any size country??) for a day, so he can sell it to somebody, probably. I don’t fully know what law enforcement agency Hobbs works for, but somehow he only has one partner and this band of thieves to work with to find the world’s foremost super-criminal. They all negotiate “wipe our records” deals, which seems silly at this point because you know they’re just going to dirty them right back up again.

They wire up Fake Vin Diesel and send him in to see Gaston so they can catch him. As if it’s gonna be that easy. While they’re watching that go down, Interpol gets robbed, but Gaston basically traps all the cops in the city underground (are they all dead now?? Is this the scene in the franchise with the most fatalities?) and we get the first car chase of the movie, because apparently the gang are now in charge of investigating security breaches at Interpol.

Gaston has this insane low-slung racecar with a little scooper on the front so any car that hits him goes flying. It’s a true evil genius contraption. Cars are flipping left and right. Do cars actually flip that easily? Also, I feel like flipping cars would result in more injuries. More of these people should be dead or at least concussed.

Dom takes off after Letty and after cornering her, they both get out of their cars for their grand reunion. Except Letty shoots him in the shoulder and takes off. Yikes!

Gaston pulls out files on all the good-bad guys, and they find a picture of Letty sitting on Dom’s lap. She just says “That’s the guy I shot.” Letty in this movie is like Peeta in the last Hunger Games. She apparently lost her memory in the car crash that everyone assumed killed her.

They need some cars for their plan, so Hobbs and Luda go on a cute lil man date to a fancy car auction. Hobbs is like “You aren’t thinking about stealing these cars, are you?” Dude this is what you get for hiring car thieves. Some snooty guy comes up to them with some racist nonsense so Luda buys all the cars and also makes him give them his clothes.

Wonder Woman and Angel Dust go try to flirt some info out of a mechanic but he pocket-dials Gaston so he can send some goons. Han and Tyrese can see the goons approaching, but don’t do anything to help, stop them, or warn Wonder Woman and Angel Dust. There are a bunch of fight scenes, which I find kind of boring (these movies aren’t called The FIST and the Furious) but no one dies and they steal some insane harpoon contraption from the mechanic.

They realize that Gaston is working with Braga, the bad guy from Fast & Fourious/Wonder Woman’s old boss, so Brian decides to sneak back into the country with the help of that guy whose face he smashed into a wall a few movies ago.

Paul Walker and his they-must-be-color-corrected insane blue eyes get moved near Braga and he almost gets knifed to death a bunch. Braga tells him that he’ll only get near Gaston if Gaston wants him to, which isn’t really all that helpful. Also we learn that he found out about Letty’s memory loss and passed her along to Gaston.

Meanwhile, Dom gives himself a random night off and heads to Rita Ora’s street race, where he races Letty through a lot of traffic. Is no one racing on closed streets anymore?? He looks at her car and says “You never could resist American muscle,” which, nice. Smooth. I like it.

They chat in an empty parking lot and he reminisces about all their good times and she’s like “sure if you say so, stranger.” Question: if she has no memory, why is her name still Letty?

Gaston shows up and they quip back and forth for a while instead of just shooting each other. Dom almost get snipered but since Hobbs was there they were equally gunned and both backed down. Frankly I think Hobbs should’ve just shot Gaston while he had the chance.

Hobbs figured out where Gaston’s hideout is, so he’s like “Let’s go nail that son of a bitch” and he and Angel Dust barge in. THAT’S YOUR PLAN? TWO PEOPLE TO CATCH THIS NOTORIOUSLY SLIPPERY, DANGEROUS INTERNATIONAL CRIMINAL????

Hobbs calls Luda, which is unremarkable except for the fact that his phone says “Samoan Thor,” and I laaaaughed and laaaughed.

Because he’s some sort of magical one-man TARU, Luda deduces that they’re going to steal “the component” (this is what they call it, I don’t know what it is) from an army base in Spain.

They move the component in a convoy to some secret new location, but Gaston and his crew attack the convoy and hijack a freaking tank! (Side note, the convoy is being escorted by 2 giant Jeep-y things, but they’re very easily taken down by bullets. Why wouldn’t you have this super valuable component escorted by some sort of armored vehicle? It was previously housed on an army base!

This tank just starts rolling over all the other cars on the highway, but somehow when the gang races in with their speedy speed cars they’re all going about the same speed. How fast can this tank go?? (I googled it and it said “up to 45 miles per hour on roads,” and “Some tanks have even gone as fast as 60 to 70 miles per hour for short periods of time” so I call shenanigans on this.)

I appreciate that the family is trying to draw attention from all the civilian cars because it seems like that tank is going out of its way to run directly over random cars (which, again, I think could easily outrun the tank except for when it crossed over and started going against the flow of traffic.) A LOT of people died in this scene.

They lasso the tank’s gun and us a car as an anchor, and Gaston sends Letty out during this high-speed tank chase to fix it. Except at that second the tank lurches, Letty goes flying, so Dom launches himself across a highway overpass to grab her and smash through a car hood. I think I yelled “WHAT?” out loud.

Han and Wonder Woman make such a cute team, but I know something has to happen to her since she’s not in Tokyo Drift, and it makes me sad in advance.

They capture Gaston and his few remaining goons, Letty defects to the good side, and they all head back to the army base. It’s extremely clear from the ominous music that this movie is not over.

Brian talks to Letty and apologizes for her amnesia, which he blames himself for.  She’s like “I’m sure you didn’t make me, we cool.” According to imdb THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THEIR CHARACTERS EVER SPEAK TO EACH OTHER IN THE ENTIRE MOVIE FRANCHISE.

Gaston says he kidnapped Mia and she’s dead unless he gets to waltz out of there with the chip he stole from the tank. Brian and Dom freak out and the reasonable army guy is like “That sucks but too effing bad, we’re not gonna let a super-criminal go just for this.” Hobbs, the coolest/worst government agent ever, is totally fine with letting Gaston walk but also the family doesn’t get their records cleaned anymore. Obviously they’re like “family first.”

Gaston leaves but first turns to Letty and is like “Hey babe you coming?” Angel Dust is like “Hell yeah you bet.” OH SHIT! I briefly suspected she was a double agent like an hour ago but I forgot about it because frankly she’s not that interesting. I guess I was right all along.

They immediately start another chase scene while Ludacris starts trying to block the cell signals so Gaston can’t put in a call to have Mia killed. Ludacris joined this series as a street race facilitator; I’m not really sure why he’s a hacker now? They’re all like “Where tf does Gaston even think he’s going?” but then a giant plane appears overhead and drops a ramp for them to drive up.

On the plane we’ve got Gaston, Angel Dust, and Enormous Tattooed Goon fighting Dom, Brian, Letty and at some point, Hobbs.

Mia is also there, but she’s a lover not a fighter. I find it comical that Gaston is supposed to be an even match for Dom.

The rest of the team is in cars chasing the plane, also fighting some goons. They harpoon the plane a few times but the lines are anchored to the cars so eventually the plane starts lifting the cars off the ground as it tries to take off. Finally, the moment I’ve been dreading arrived. Wonder Woman falls off a car (heroically and on purpose to shoot the goon who’s about to attack Han) and presumably dies. RIP Wonder Woman.

The plane is eventually disabled by all the harpoons and gunshots, and it bursts into flame/explodes. Letty and Hobbs had made it off the plane, and Dom had somehow ejected Gaston who is presumed dead. Everyone is worried Dom is dead but he emerges from the rubble shockingly unscathed. Mia looks at Han and asks “Where’s Giselle?” which is apparently Wonder Woman’s name. Hugs and tears all around.

Dom hands the stolen chip, which he’d recovered from the plane, back to Hobbs and says all he wants is to go home. The family has a nice chill barbecue at the house. Hobbs shows up and makes fun of Tyrese’s forehead, which is weird since most of them are bald and Tyrese doesn’t even have a big forehead.

Hobbs and Dom talk about something but to be honest I wasn’t paying attention because I was just looking at the weird perspective of these shots. Why do these shots look so weird? Why is The Rock’s head so big?

Elsa Pataky, who is back to being a cop again, comes in to say goodbye and Dom is like “You don’t have to go.” I honestly thought he was gonna pitch the idea of a threesome (which, frankly, I kind of think would make sense in this weird family dynamic. A polyamorous alpha trio?) She and Letty high five over having the same boyfriend. The end.

Epilogue: That scene from Tokyo Drift where Han dies. Except after the crash, Jason Statham throws Dom’s cross necklace on the ground and calls him on the phone as he walks away from the rubble.

I’d been really torn on whether to watch Tokyo Drift 3rd or 6th (aka release order vs chronologically.) I had friends arguing for both and I see the merit in both sides, but I watched in release order. The downside was that when Han died, I didn’t really know or care about him, and when I DID get to know him I knew he was doomed the whole time. However, if I’d watched Tokyo Drift 6th and seen that mid-credits scene, I’d already know he dies in the next movie (and on a smaller level, it spoils that insane shot where they drift around the corner and the crowd scatters like ants.) I’ve settled on, for first viewings, watching them in release order makes sense. For any subsequent viewings, chronological is probably better.

Previously:

Vol 5: 5ast 5ive

Vol 4: Fast & Fourious

Vol 3: What’s even the point of driftng?

Vol 2: 2 Furious 2 Quit

Vol 1: The Fast & the Curious