#I think it might even be sexier than the yell in s3

[chvoswxtch]

I completely forgot how in 2x12 when matty is fighting the hand and stick teaches him how to track their breath & he starts beating their asses and let’s out that unhinged FERAL yell when the last one goes down like WHEW good LORD that did something to me ✨

btw this is the scene i’m talking about, y’all know I love to share the filth wealth 😏

[late-to-the-sexy-party]

Solid Ground

A scene in which Rae and Finn hang out and some stuff comes up.

Takes place a while after S2 and I’m not really concerned about S3.

Also posted on AO3.

Thanks, Lil, as always.

Rae and Finn were sitting on his bedroom floor, drinking beer and thumbing through music mags when Rae popped her head up, “Finn?” She tried to make her voice high, lilting, but was pretty sure she sounded harsh and halting. Had he just flinched a little? She was so fucking bad at nonchalant.

From the cadence of that one syllable, Finn could tell he was in for it. Rae often got these ideas of things to ask him which inevitably made him squirm, like whether he ever fancied a teacher or had ever secretly wanted to kiss Archie or how old he was when he’d had his first erection. It had always given him a small thrill, because even though the questions were awkward, he liked the way she made him talk and the way she listened. That’s how they’d built their together world, question by question, answer by answer, a head curled into the other’s lap or legs stretched parallel up onto the wall. More recently, however, her questions had become less fun and more about the other girls he’d dated. He braced himself.

“What did ya like best about going out with Stacey?”

The thought that Finn had been with every hot lass in Lincolnshire made Rae cringe. However, since knowing was better than imagining, she and her diary had launched Operation Desensitization, an attempt to gather as much information as possible, to rake her eyes over the truth and, in theory, neutralize it. But she was growing edgy with this business of sounding casual in the face of what he might say.

The question about Stacey made Finn uncomfortable, but he thought he could manage it. “Dunno…she had a nice house I guess. And I liked her dog.”

Rae rolled her eyes and looked at Finn like he had a screw loose, “Her house? Her dog? Right! Neither of those things are really about Stacey!”

“You asked what I liked about going out with Stacey not what I liked about her.” Finn squinted and shifted in front of her.

“What are we in English class?” Rae responded, exasperated. “Fine! What did you like about HER?” She was regretting her tone, but she couldn’t modulate. He didn’t deserve this attitude, but her head was tensing and something inside her was slipping off its hook.

She was getting worked up and quickly, but Finn still thought he could navigate this. “Not much…she’s not a nice person. I broke up with her when I saw how badly she treated people.” He watched Rae’s face for clues of a misstep.

“Did she treat you badly?” Rae asked with genuine interest.

“Nah, but girls, her mates and stuff. She’s just mean. And, like, so boring.”

“Hmmm,” Rae nodded, searching, “but you…you still had sex with her?”

Finn pulled his lips into a thin line and briefly closed his eyes; there was the familiar feeling of everything shifting and his control slipping away. Over the past few weeks, Rae seemed to be daring herself to ask more and more questions about his past experiences; how he’d met girls, what kind of dates they went on, what they talked about, but this was the most explicit she had been so far. Finn corkscrewed his mouth to one side and looked toward the window as he slowly nodded.

Rae mirrored the gesture. Her mind was regularly plagued by thoughts of Finn with all the girls he’d sexed before. The images came stacked and staticky: a tangle of toned limbs, his tongue grazing a flat stomach, his hands removing a normal sized bra, two people humping in closets that were too small for Rae alone. “You’ve had sex with a lot of girls.”

“Dunno…” was all Finn could muster as he started fidgeting with his ear. He hated the insecurity that led to these questions when it was the opposite of what he loved about her. But he also knew she was trying to work something out, and he recognized the bravery of that. He wanted to be holding her now, kissing her and reassuring her, but he knew better. In moments like this, his touch made her flinch.

Rae knew he’d been with other girls. Beyond his reputation, it was obvious from the way he behaved in bed, something confident and matter-of-fact. But this had been the first actual acknowledgement. The skin on her neck and face felt taut and twitchy. The realness of the moment was hard but satisfying and strangely liberating. When she glanced up at Finn, she realized he looked like someone trying to gentle a spider off a window ledge into a cup, anxious that it might get away or get a leg cut off by the rim. She was sympathetic but undeterred.

“I know you think I’m trying to trap you into saying something you don’t want to say… but please tell me what that was like with Stacey.”

Finn shook his head and furrowed his brow. “Nah…why d’ya want to know all that?” I don’t want to hear about you gettin’ off with some other bloke!” He really didn’t and shouldn’t she find that flattering?

Her mind tucked away the compliment to think about later while her mouth bulldozed ahead. “Alright, fine! But I do want to know. Tell me SOMETHING!”

She was speaking not just with her mouth but with her eyes and her hands too. If he could just kiss her right now, this would all be a lot easier. Finn was at a loss for words, but they were going to have to come soon if Rae’s penetrating look was any indication. He took a deep breath and moved his lips, “Yeah…ok…ah…ahh…I..ayay…arr…Rae! This is weird!”

Rae softened at Finn’s tongue-tied attempt and began to laugh. She hadn’t meant to make him so uncomfortable and it was sweet how earnestly he was trying. In an effort to lighten the mood, she threw a pillow at him, yelling, “Man UP, Finley! Tell me about Stacey Stringfellow’s snatch!”

Finn was laughing too now. But he knew that Rae relied on jokes when she felt vulnerable and he never liked that, so he tried to settle down.

And then Rae couldn’t wait any longer to ask the real question on her mind; she twisted a long strand of hair around her finger, not fully convinced she was ready to know this. “Is it different with me?”

Finn looked down and then up at her, almost guiltily “…yeah?”

“And I don’t mean cuz you luuuv me,” she goaded him, “I’m serious. I want to know how it’s different…like…logistically.”

Finn bit his lower lip, was this what it had all been about? Was she just comparing herself to those other girls? He was shit with words, but this he could answer. He knew what he wanted to say, but it took a long minute to pull his thoughts together. “Look,” he finally started, “I’m not gonna tell you I hated sleeping with Stacey, that would be stupid. But it’s different with you and not just ‘cuz I luuuv you’ and ‘awww we both love Oasis and Morissey’ and ‘Oh Rae really gets me,’ but… I mean…it feels different.”

Rae shook her head in disgust, “Right! Cuz I’m huge, and I smother you.”

“No, I’m not sayin’ that,” Finn was frustrated but caught her darting eyes with his and held them until she focused. “Yeah, your body’s different than anyone else I’ve ever been with. It’s bigger… and softer… and dead sexier.”

Finn raised his eyebrows to emphasize those last two words and they zinged down Rae’s spine. It was new to hear him tell her this so frankly. She knew she turned him on, but… then another thought broadcast across her mind. “Finn? It’s not BECAUSE I’m big that you like me is it?”

Finn let out a small laugh at the no-winningness of this conversation. “No, Rae, I can honestly say that I’d like you no matter what size you were. All I know is your body turns me on like nothin’ else and I dunno…it’s like some kinda bonus.” His eyes had wandered off but now returned her gaze. “Do you remember the first time we did it? That time in your new room?”

Rae looked at him like he’d asked if she knew her own name.

“Right, well after making me wait for months, when I was finally all up inside ya… it was so intense, like I could feel you everywhere at once…in my toes and my knees and my ears. I was kinda lost in ya.”

“Really.” She said as she started to feel the truth of his words.

“Really.” Finn confirmed as he offered one of his most heartbreaking smiles.

Rae felt a warmth in her core from her heart to her ovaries, but she also felt suddenly exposed. She covered by teasing him, “Yeah, I guess that was KINDA obvious, since you came within the first ten seconds!”

“Oi! Girl! We did it like three more times that night. You came like fifteen times!”

“Seven,” she corrected him.

“Ohh only seven? You poor lass,” Finn feigned sympathy. “Seriously though, not bad for our first go. You were…impressive.”

“Aww thanks,” Rae said only half joking, “I had a lot of practice. I’d really built up my stamina.”

Finn almost spit out his beer. She still amused the crap out of him. He zoned out as his thoughts went back to that night. He recalled how after hours of fumbling, she finally taught him how to touch her, how she had dazzled him then with her capacity for pleasure and her appetite for it. Girls had always been so timid with him about what they wanted, acted like they mostly wanted to take care of him. It was so much hotter to watch Rae take what she needed and use him for it. It had been a revelation.

Rae was preoccupied by her own memory, how she’d eschewed Finn’s many attempts to drag her on top of him and then surprised herself by suggesting she straddle his hand. She had probably surprised both of them when she stopped holding back, when she stretched out prone above his whole arm while riding his index and middle fingers, had moved greedily along his hand to slide those fingers out of her and up to her clit, had directed him to stiffen them and alternate pressure between them until she was spasming uncontrollably and he was left with a tiny heartbeat pulsing against his fingertips. And then she did it again…and again… until he was lunging at her lips to catch every moan before it escaped.

Rae was smiling to herself as she reminded him of the aftermath. “I was so sore the next day and you had so many love bites, you looked like you’d been in a fight with a blowfish.”

Finn was laughing now, “Yeah, and I had to hide from your mum in the bathtub.”

“It was some night,” Rae mused.

“Yeah it was,” he confirmed, looking down, eyes twinkling. “And I’m still lost in ya.”

Rae blushed at that, “Well let’s just say I’m not sending out any search parties.”

“Oh yeah?” Finn raised a cheeky eyebrow at her, “Not even a sexy one?”

Rae smiled wide and gave a coy tilt of her head as she nodded, “Ok… maybe a sexy one.”

When Finn saw her teeth as she smiled, he had another familiar feeling, a sweep of relief as the floor leveled and walls realigned. He was next to her in a flash, scooping up her hand and pressing his nose into her shoulder.

He spoke quietly into the crook of her neck, “Rae, that first time…it wasn’t just my feet and my ears, it was like something inside me, like in my head…it wasn’t just your body…it was like everything altogether, ya know?”

Rae wondered again how this kind, thoughtful and gentle soul had found her, but all she said was, “yeah, I think so.” And she meant it, which was a lot.