#I think it is slightly funnier if Membrane went by Brain when he was a kid than if his first name was actually Professor

[chellodello]

I’ve been thinking about a possible Invader Zim episode where Tak’s ship is out of fuel so Dib breaks into Zim’s base and siphons fuel out of the Voot. He thinks he’s gotten away with it but Mini Moose catches him when he’s trying to leave and Zim quickly discovers what’s happened. The two fight over the fuel and end up dropping it out over the lawn which immediately shrivels up and dies. The B-plot of this episode is Membrane using his one day off a year to clean the garage. 

Dib, unable to not be smug about Zim losing, even if he’s also lost, remarks that Zim’s stuck on earth and the only person who might be able to make more is his dad, but he would never tell alien scum like Zim. Zim thinks that Membrane would absolutely tell him if he asked nicely and bee-lines it to the Membrane house. 

Back at the garage Membrane is dusting the belt sander when Dib and Zim crash in and both try to get the recipe from him, speaking over each other and clambering at his knees like little puppies. “Kids, kids settle down. There’s no such thing as ‘alien space gas’. Although… When I was around your age I did go through an astronomy phase where I prototyped an advanced super fuel that could theoretically power alien space ships. But it was so long ago now, I’ve forgotten the recipe.” He goes back to dusting.

Zim quickly uses Mini Moose to open a portal to the past.  Mini Moose Nyahs that he can only keep the portal open for a few hours. Dib follows immediately. Membrane sighs and complains about kids always leaving a mess. He dusts the portal.

Dib and Zim track young Membrane, who looks exactly like Dib, at skool in a visibly not-younger-at-all Ms.Bitter’s class. Dib and Zim announce themselves as new exchange students. No one bats an eyelash at Zim but are sus of Dib. The two corner young Membrane (teasingly called Brain by his peers) at lunch and asks for the recipe. Brain admits that he has in fact just completed a prototype recipe for a super advanced space fuel, but he won’t just give it to anyone, especially two exchange students.

Both of them trip over themselves to make friends with Brain to convince him to help them instead of the other. Zim is infinitely more interesting than Dib and he seems to be having better luck because he actually knows things about Science. Cue a montage of Zim and Brain becoming friends: In the chem lab together, playing a recess, getting ice cream in the park, etc… Dib is super annoyed and just taking L’s left and right, he tries to butt in but it always fails. 

Dejected, Dib knows their time is almost up and he has to accept that maybe his dad will never like him in any timeline. Brain plops down on the bench next to him and hands him the recipe. “I don’t understand? I thought you and Zim were besties or whatever?” Membrane tells him that Zim is great, but he whispers that he thinks Zim is a secret spy sent by NASAplace to steal his fuel recipe. That there’s no way any kid could know that much about space otherwise.

It is physically painful for Dib not to tell him that Zim is an alien but a loud NYAH booms through the air; the portal opens up beside them and starts sucking everything in the park not nailed down into the portal. Dib hangs on to the park bench and in his flailing he knocks young Membrane out. Zim returns with their ice cream, which is immediately sucked through the portal. He whines that he needs more time to get the recipe but it’s too late Dib and Zim are sucked in and the portal closes. 

Back in the future, Zim and Dib, and all the garbage from the park are dropped back into the garage. Membrane grounds Dib for getting ice cream and debris all over the garage he just finished cleaning. Zim announces that getting Dib grounded was actually his plan all along and jets out of the garage on Mini Moose. 

Scene change to night: Dib has finished cleaning the garage but more importantly he’s putting the finishing touches on his dad’s space fuel recipe. “That all really sucked, but it'll be worth it if I have unlimited fuel and Zim doesn’t!” With a grin he turns on Tak’s ship and it immediately catches on fire. Membrane walks by with a cup of tea and shakes his head, lamenting that “When I was a boy I tried to make space fuel once, luckily I lost it in the park during a freak tornado before I could test it. Who knows how dangerous it could have been!” The ship blows up. End credit roll.

Nickelodeon please hire me to write for this show you canceled 20 years ago.